#which was probably to push him away to make the change more in fei dus control instead of a breach of trust later

[mejomonster]

Tumblr ate my meta agh :c it was about zhoudus novel start relationship now that I know more of fei dus pov. Oh well. Basically chapter 100 is <3. I love fei du loving when Luo wenzhou opens up to him emotionally. I love fei du wishing he could give Luo wenzhou a nice story but his childhood sucked and he likes Luo wenzhou as his family instead. I love fei du telling a "dumb youth" story of himself and of course its rhe part of his teenage years With Tao Ran and Luo Wenzhou. His happiest safest part of life:

Between the branches of the old trees that had lost all their leaves, you could see the ancient bell on top of the Drum Tower. The night was limpid.

 

The two of them had finally torn away the seriously damaged pretext, tossing aside this murder case where the murderer was evident at a glance.

 

“When I was fifteen or sixteen, I also plotted to run away with a group, though the reason was better than celebrating a Western holiday—KFC or some company like that was putting together a middle school basketball competition, and the prize was a basketball signed by an NBA celebrity, who just happened to be the basketball player I liked. So I got together a group of people, got a sick note from a classmate’s cousin who was a nurse, told my parents the school had organized a competitive summer camp, and ran around playing basketball for half a month.”

 

Fei Du: “…”

 

This was a recollection so wretched it really made you sigh in admiration.

 

“We did get the prize, and I fooled my mom by saying a classmate had brought it back from abroad.” Walking beside him through the peaceful little alley, Luo Wenzhou took his hand, felt it was cold, and gave him the still warm bag of chestnuts to hold, keeping watch out of the corner of his eye to make sure he didn’t sneak any. “Later there was a parent-teacher conference. As soon as the teacher talked to my mom, the whole thing came out. When my dad got home and heard about it he gave me a hell of thrashing.”

 

Fei Du thought that a late-stage problem child like this couldn’t be kept down with simple force.

 

“My dad, he seems pretty severe, but actually he’s very fair and reasonable,” Luo Wenzhou said. “When he got a handle on his temper, he said to me, ‘A forcibly picked melon won’t be sweet. If you don’t like going to school, then forget about it. Do what you like.”

 

Luo Wenzhou’s ridiculous stories of domestic trivialities had an unbelievable attractive force for Fei Du. Each time he occasionally said a few words like this, Fei Du felt that he’d encountered a hidden easter egg. Seeing Luo Wenzhou suddenly stop, Fei Du couldn’t resist following up. “And then what?”

 

Luo Wenzhou said, “At first I was pretty happy, thinking that the old fellow had ‘found salvation’ and changed his ways. I didn’t expect that he would ‘fairly and reasonably’ stop my senior middle Year 2 school fees and allowance.

 

“While I cut class sometimes, I wasn’t really prepared to become a dropout, so I had to go out and earn my school fees when I was on vacation. The old fart was as good as his word. He really didn’t give me a penny. I carried water barrels for people for a couple months for the sake of that basketball… Don’t laugh.”

 

If he could have preserved this story like a specimen, Fei Du felt he could have enjoyed it for half a lifetime.

 

“You always let me take the lead in telling this sort of embarrassing story.” Luo Wenzhou poked him with his elbow. “Your turn.”

 

Fei Du: “…”

 

There really was nothing fun about his whole endless upbringing, but he couldn’t bear to spoil the mood, so he had to rack his brains for a good while, finally managing to pull something out of his memories that would oblige.

 

“All right,” Fei Du said, “I’ll tell you a secret.”

 

Luo Wenzhou indicated that he was all ears.

 

“Around the Spring Festival one year, I went to pay a New Year’s call on a friend.” Fei Du paused, then said, “I saw a bicycle downstairs at his house, a racing bike with a gearshift and an especially flashy paint job, with a pattern like a poisonous snake. It seemed to be calling out to me.”

 

Luo Wenzhou somehow felt that the bike he’d described sounded familiar.

 

Fei Du licked his lips, very cautiously arranging his diction. “So I left a New Year’s present for it…by glueing its back wheel with chewing gum.”

 

Luo Wenzhou’s footsteps abruptly paused—he’d remembered. During the Spring Festival one year, Tao Ran had been unable to go back to his hometown because his duty schedule had been full, so Luo Wenzhou had ridden his bike over with presents to represent the citizens of Yan City in delivering comfort to the police comrade.

 

Before going, he’d thought of a certain little whelp with no one to look after him and had brought along a limited-edition game machine to give to Tao Ran to pass on to him.

 

In the end, he’d stayed twenty minutes at Tao Ran’s house, and someone had messed around with his bike, which he’d left downstairs—some wretched child had stuck a few small firecrackers to his back wheel with chewing gum. Luo Wenzhou hadn’t noticed it when he’d gotten on the bike and reached out his foot to peddle—

 

And he’d nearly been launched into orbit by the explosions!

 

Maintaining his smile, Fei Du guiltily took a small step back.

 

“Fei Du!”

 

President Fei reaped the consequences of lascivious activity. In order to entertain a beauty, he voluntarily gave himself up to the authorities as one possessed; it was too late for regrets.

 

He didn’t receive any “leniency” for his confession. Luo Wenzhou grabbed him and gave him a good seeing to. He was pushed against a wall from behind.

 

Fei Du said, “Wait…wait a minute.”

[mejomonster]

So im rereading modu and that candy line is savage. Its been some time, so the plot's blurry to me in parts. But that bit either implies A. Tao Ran told Luo Wenzhou he gave fei du candy (which is embarassing for fei du and means Tao Ran told fei dus "rival" he let fei du down and comforted him like a kid), b. Luo wenzhou knows fei du loves candy (which is true - but fei du may not fully realize that), c. Luo wenzhou knows fei du SO well he can read him like this (and or is so Nosy he knows all this about fei du). Its probably a mix of all being true. But for fei du its embarassing and vulnerable and being exposed for a piece of his real self to someone he very much Wants to push away to a degree (at that point in the story).

Or... i feel like i remember later, fei du gives his pov and we realize he intended to investigate the cops (aka get close and use them) and kind of intentionally got close to luo wenzhou and Enjoyed it while he could, because he'd figured he'd scare luo wrznhou away into hating him once luo wenzhou realizes what fei du's done?

I also feel like.. in retrospect, since fei du's dads accident, luo wenzhou and fei du both used tao ran as a proxy to talk to each other/care about each other/be in each others lives. In Fei Dus case: it was the first sign he saw that luo wenzhou might suspect him of bad things, feeding into fei dus belief hes a monster and therefore Wants to be away from luo wenzhou lest he harms luo wenzhou the way his dad hurt his mom. From luo wenzhous pov, that incident was the first time he had to face that fei du is an adult responsible for his actions - and if fei du claims "maybe i did hurt my dad/maybe i do harm people/maybe i am breaking the law" then luo wenzhou cant just pretend its just childish exagerated tantrums the way it has been previously/the way luo wenzhous treated it before. (Now it was sometimes more than a tantrum, but lwz forgave teen fei du of any big mistakes, any dangerous or cruel tendencies and just punished and scolded like a parent... but as fei du is an adult, running a company, capable of massive amounts of real cruelty if he truly wants to... luo wenzhou has to face he cant just scold and order around a child to ensure hes "good" and wont make moral mistakes).

Both of them kind of back off and use tao ran as a proxy to try abd get what they want longer: luo wenzhou wants to keep parenting fei du and encouraging morally upright behavior which fei dus little crush on tao ran/trying to please tao ran encourages, and fei du wants to keep tabs on luo wenzhou and not lose that relationship yet. Now they both do care for tao ran, and probably dont know theyre using tao ran to keep each other during the strained years post fei dus dads accident... but by the time fei dus pov recognizes his own crush on luo wenzhou? It becomes apparent in retrospect both did that. (Justice in the Dark makes it apparent quite quick, altho it couldve changed things. And my mind is fuzzy so i could be recalling bits wrong)

My point is. Their relationship has SO much history and complexity going on already when the story starts, and even more as it goes on and you realize and learn more (and as it Evolves through the story events!). And its so fucking fascinating and densely layered and i love it to pieces i WANT more stories with dynamics like this that i could think about for ages and still realize new things.

Chapter 8, modu. Fei Du and Luo Wenzhou are such petty jerks I love them.

费渡礼貌地跟给他倒水的值班人员道了谢，接过来喝了一口就放在一边了——他们给他倒的咖啡居然是速溶的，里头有一股诡异的香油味。

他四下打量了一下市局内部的装潢，感觉实在是品味堪忧，而且粗制滥造，桌角的油漆点子还在，大概是刚刷的，仔细闻还有味。

骆闻舟从外面走进来，就看见费渡正在认真端详着他们桌上的纹理，他皱着眉，眼神非常之沉郁——要不是那桌子是空心的，骆队几乎觉得底下藏了具尸体。

费渡一撩眼皮见是他，好似也不怎么意外，简单地冲他一点头：“坐吧。”

骆闻舟：“……”

这小子拿这当他家了！

费渡用塑料勺子搅着香油味的咖啡，问：“陶然呢？”

“忙着呢。”骆闻舟拔出一根笔，摊开笔记本，半句寒暄的废话都没有，开门见山地问，“二十号晚上，也就是前天，你和张东来在一起吗？想好了再说。”

费渡靠在椅子背上，微微仰头，两条长腿支楞八叉地翘着二郎腿，坐姿虽然称不上“没坐相”，却莫名叫人觉得那地方放不下他。

他似笑非笑地看着骆闻舟，反问：“骆队，我是嫌疑人吗？”

骆闻舟冷冷地看了他一眼。

费渡毫不在意地一摊手：“那你最好对我客气点，我不是嫌疑人，刑事传讯也没有强制性，我不高兴了随时可以走。”

“哦，”骆闻舟把笔一放，“还得先哄你高兴是吧？那行，你说吧，怎么哄，我是现在给你唱首歌，还是出去给你买袋糖？”

头一天晚上刚被陶警官发了奶糖卡的费渡：“……”

窗外疾风骤雨打得窗棂一阵乱响，屋里两个互相看不顺眼的人对坐无言。

过了一会，骆闻舟可能自己也觉得自己有点幼稚，嗤笑一声，他抽出烟盒，在桌角轻轻一磕，正要点。

“介意，”费渡在旁边不问自答地开了口，“我最近有点咽炎。”

骆闻舟皮笑肉不笑地说：“你要是哑巴了，就离世界和平不远了。”