#which was just ice cream heavy cream and mangoes lol

[housecow]

celebrating hitting 240 with too much wg shake and at least 2 pounds of pasta !!

[97sunsh1ne]

cafe boy (pt. 4/4)

➳ collegestudent!hhj x collegestudent!reader (gender neutral)

➳ fluff!!

➳ wc: 1.1k

(part 3 here!)

The ramen restaurant was only a few blocks away from the cafe, but the sun had already set by the time you and Hyunjin walked up. It was a cozy little place, with a glass wall in the front; you could see the patrons seated at their tables, and a heavy wooden door, which Hyunjin opened for you. 

It was warm inside, taking off the slight chill that had begun to settle outside following dusk. The hostess greeted Hyunjin with a kind smile, and asked, 

“Not just you this time, I see?” 

He chuckled, 

“No, I guess not. Y/N, this is Nayeon, she used to sneak me rice and leftover gyoza when I was a broke freshman.”

“Nice to meet you!” You smiled with nervousness. 

“You too, and yes, I did. He was a scrawny little thing, I felt awful for him. Now he still comes around, begging for free rice when he spends all his money on books.” Nayeon winked at you playfully,

“Now let’s go get you two a table.” 

You both followed her through the small shop to a small table near the back, up against another glass wall that you hadn’t seen from the front. 

“Here, let me grab a chair for you-” 

“Oh- thank you.” You smiled, sitting down after she placed a chair across from Hyunjin. Nayeon laid down two menus and sets of chopsticks, then picked one of the menus back up. You looked up, confused, and she added, 

“Sorry, almost forgot. This kid gets the same thing every time, doesn’t need to look at a menu.” 

Hyunjin nodded with a toothy grin. You nearly melted at his expression.

“I’ll be back to take your order in a minute.” She smiled, and walked back towards the front.

“You get the same thing every time? Must be pretty good.” You added, trying to swallow your anxiousness. It was hard to look him in the eye, you always ended up a blushing mess. 

“Yeah, the red garlic tonkotsu. Reminds me of high school; me and my friends used to get ramen and study every friday night- when we could afford it.” He chuckled to himself. 

“Anyway- the black garlic is good too, and so is the shoyu. And we can get some gyoza, if you want.” 

“I think I’ll get the shoyu, and some takoyaki too, I’ve been craving it since she mentioned it.” You smiled through your nervousness, and Nayeon came back to take your order. 

The glass wall gave you a perfect view of the downtown skyline. Your college was woven into the center of buildings uptown, which was mainly apartments and small businesses, all crowded together in the tiny streets. The ramen shop was no different, except it was perched along the top of one of the higher hills, giving anyone sitting along the wall the perfect vantage point to look over the tall skyscrapers dotting the landscape. There was a street a little ways down the hill, and you could just make out the last few leaves on the trees, leftover from autumn. The sun had set, but there was still a faint glow in the sky, making the lights seem brighter against the night. It was beautiful; no wonder Hyunjin liked it here. 

Another server brought your ramen and side dishes, and said a warm hello to Hyunjin. You could see the comfort in his face as he ate. At school, there was this… carefulness about him: the way his hands hovered as he typed, and the restraint and stress he bit back in his jaw, especially during class. But, here, that all seemed to evaporate into the cozy air. His face was relaxed, and his eyes were filled with warmth. He looked so calm, so at home. You had only ever seen him filled with ambition and passion, working himself to the bone; now, as he slurped up his ramen, you might’ve even said he was glowing. You thought your chest would burst. 

The two of you talked between bites of food; when you put down your chopsticks, Hyunjin asked, 

“Want to get some dessert? The ice cream mochi is really good.” 

“I don't know, I’m pretty stuffed, that ramen was so bomb, dude.” 

“What did I tell you? I’ve got good taste, and we can split the mochi, if you want; you've got to try it.” He was so emphatic, you smiled and replied, 

“Okay, okay, if you insist.” 

The server cleared your table, and Hyunjin ordered the mochi. 

“So, you came here all the time during high school, did you grow up around here?” You asked. 

“Sort of,” Hyunjin smiled at the table, “My high school was a couple blocks from here, so I spent a lot of time in this area, but I actually grew up in downtown; that's where my family’s from.” 

The server brought the mochi to your table, and Hyunjin talked while he split them in half and put a few flavors on your plate. 

“I took the bus every day, there and back. My family runs a bookstore near all the skyscrapers, but they wanted me to go to a good high school, so I switched districts. It was a good thing, too, because the counselors helped me apply for colleges, and I ended up getting a full ride.” He looked up at you, 

“Did you try the taro? It’s my favorite.” 

“Yeah, but I think I like the mango better.”

“Basic.” 

You laughed and picked up a different flavor. Green tea, maybe?

“I bet it was tiring, having to go back and forth all the time? My grades would’ve tanked, but you managed to get what, valedictorian?” You smiled. He chuckled, 

“Salutatorian, actually. And yeah, it was a lot. I mean, I slept through physics all junior year. But I knew what I was working for. My parents are really hard workers, and I knew they wanted the best for me. It blew sometimes, but I wanted to make them proud.” 

“Oh, and having a big brain is very popular with cute people in cafes.” He winked across the table at you, and you started choking on your ice cream. Predictable. 

After you caught your breath, Hyunjin said, 

“Listen, if we’re gonna do this again, you have got to stop choking every time I flirt with you.” 

“I’m sorry, it just catches me off guard. Please understand, you are very attractive, which is not good for my little heart.” You teased through your blush. 

“Well, I prefer my dates alive, okay? So please refrain from dying on me.”

You split the bill, and Hyunjin offered to walk you back to your apartment. When he kissed you outside the front door, soft and sweet under the moonlight, you didn’t pass out. In fact, when he pulled away to look at you, you met his warm eyes, grabbed him by the coat, and kissed him again, smiling. 

(part 3 here!)

I just want to say a brief thank you to everyone who read this! I am not familiar with tumblr at all, but if people enjoy my writing I would be happy to continue posting my works on here! (as well as fix up my blog so it doesn’t look so janky LOL). I posted the first part of this year almost a year ago, and I am just now completing it, so for everyone who has read it, thank you. every single note means so much. thank you thank you thank you!

[winbutlerscowbell]

Terminator Dark Fate Analysis Mexico Edition

Welcome to the Terminator Dark Fate Analysis Mexico Edition, where I’m going to dissect, comment and give my constructive criticism at every reference, landscapes, locations and well, everything that goes Mexican in this movie of ours.

  First things first: I just realized the version delivered to the mexican theaters is DIFFERENT to the rest of the world, why? Because the characters who originally speak Spanish are DUBBED AGAIN, like double dubbed. So ironically, in Mexico we couldn’t get to hear precious things like “no mames”, WE WERE DAMN ROBBED.

OK HERE WE GO:

That bridge is sending me, it really looks like a bridge from here or vial distributor like they call it in a more elegant way.

No, forget it. That kind of bridge doesn’t exist here but nice try, I appreciate that.

Here’s where something really funny starts because what they say doesn’t match with the subtitles at all hahaha 

The girl says “no mames” and it’s subtitled to “Oh my God” AND it was dubbed as “No inventes” hahaha this can’t be...

And here, the guy says “yo siento lo mismo”, it’s subtitled as “I feel it too” which is accurate but when they dubbed it they went with “¿y esos ojos?” lmao

Can’t forget to mention this ICONIC scene, of course.

The moment when the cops arrive reminds me of the meme where there’s some thiefs robbing something and the cops are asleep but there’s someone naked or doing something else and a fucking troop arrives, here is one example of the meme I’m talking about:

kidnappers - cops asleep, thiefs - cops asleep,narcos - cops asleep,an old lady selling flowers - the fucking troops.

"¿Qué le pasó a tu amiga, wey?" the cop saying this hahahsha lmao like I said WE WERE FUCKING ROBBED.

The girl saying “qué pedo wey” when they’re arresting her hahah, I actually predicted at least one “que pedo” would be said in this movie and finally I can see my prediction turned out to be true #SamPatchVidente

The casa de papel guy aka the cop is going to be beaten the shit out for wanting to take Grace to the ministerio publico.

Cops getting beaten the shit out of them: oil on canvas 

And here’s the first mistake: the patrols have signs saying “policia municipal” and “cdmx” (Mexico City). In real life that’s impossible as “policia municipal” (municipal police) is one thing and “cdmx” is a totally different city, patrols can’t have both things but hey, the design is spot on.

"Eso estuvo padrísimo wey" hahsha lmao this time I prefer the dubbing where they go with “eso estuvo padrísimo, güera”, cause I like when they call Grace güera.

Never in my life I imagined I’d be alive to see this piece of art: Mackenzie with “Sí señor” playing in the background. The first time I saw this I was losing my shit even more cause Mackenzie was somewhere in the same room, probably watching the scene too. This is so powerful, wow.

This is sending me hashaha, in the dubbed versión the guy shouts at her “pinche gringa ratera” (fucking gringa thief or something) and it’s translated to “Go to hell lady” come on hahahaha so I prefer that over the original version, damn it I wish I could have a hybrid version of this cause is gold.

The heroic CDMX, fuck yessss! I would have loved to see the Popocatepetl. I’d like to think the suavicrema is in the background, so maybe is Chapultepec?. So what is a suavicrema? Could be like a brand of ice cream wafer and that tall building in the background looks like one, lol. Omg, ok I’ll stop.

Next: we can see doña pelos in here cooking her food. Doña pelos or doña lupe is how we call every lady who sells food in the street, so for practical effects this lady is doña pelos.

Here’s the proof we call them like that:

It translates: “So doña pelos is taking marketing courses” cause she’s using an Adobe logo to promote her food of the day, which is “adobo de cerdo” hahaha

Let’s move on.

No, it’s not “do you want your tamal”, it’s “tortita de tamal” aka the famous guajolota, that’s what she’s asking. A guajolota is “a sandwich composed of a tamal placed inside a bolillo or telera, which is a rounder version of a bolillo.” Yes, I got it from Wikipedia, don’t judge. 

Also, a lady selling garnachas (like quesadillas, etc.) AND tamales? That’s new.

She also sells mangos? Wowowowow that’s versatility. 

And “le robo un manguito” “can I steal a mango?” Dani, you have to pay for that, you can go to jail for like 30 years, I’m serious, remember the meme of the cops?

Someone said she may be a prostitute and I can’t even…so you can’t dress with whatever you want? But also I’m a little suspicious and she actually may be one depending on what zone is Dani supposed to live. 

A pink cab! I thought it was a Nissan Tsuru because they always are but this time it’s not. Missed opportunity, production design team. 

“Let’s put Frida Kahlo to emphasize this is Mexico, what a good idea , why not?” 

Multifamiliar o vecindad? we're about to find out.

Why does she have a bike hanging on the wall? Is that a thing? 

The fruit on the table, the vase, and the squared table cloth, that evoked things in me.

About the music: I mean, it’s okay they put latin music but I am fucking sick to death of this Bomba Estereo song, I fucking hate it. There, I said it.

147 likes, that’s how excited the guys who think they’re Dj’s or something are when they upload things to soundcloud. 

One thing I don’t understand is: if they live in Mexico City, why are they talking in english now? Did I miss something? 

Never seen anyone in my life name a dog “Taco”, only “Chilaquil” but that’s another story.

Arturitooo from la casa de papel! or how I like to call him: el cñor <3 (it means señor but with a c because it sounds the same).

Interestingly, now there are two actors from la casa de papel appearing here hahaha 

LMFAO that’s a flagrant fucking typo: “tomalito” hahshaha that’s an unforgivable mistake. It’s “tamalito” obviously. 

Now, what’s up with the serape blanket on the wall? Hahaha we call them sarapes but come on, we’re not like that…well yeah but no… It would have been funny if the serape had a drawing of the last dinner hahaha that would have triggered childhood memories.

The cñor from la casa de papel is going to the imss for his medical check up. Imss is a horrible public health institution but that’s what we have so…

Ok, this is GOLD: the serape blanket, a picture of la Virgen de Guadalupe, the couch covered with sheets and ANOTHER serape blanket, the sewing machine hahaha they missed the calendar from the fruit store or the butch shop, damn haha

Did taco survive? I guess not :(

Also when Diego sings: Y’all, you could have saved some good money by picking up another song, I mean, it’s a beautiful song by Juan Gabriel but I heard it was very expensive and now in retrospective you could have saved something in this little simple thing.

So it’s a vecindad I guess.

And how did they hang the clothes in the middle? :v Can these people fly? That would be a Mexican super power to take advantage of the maximum possible space. 

  Un viejo encueradooooo, tápese cochino.

A green bussssss!!! We call them microbuses and the location gives me historical downton vibes because of all the people in the street. 

Oopppp another pink cab, I love it. 

I am the only person on this planet who is excited to see those microbuses in this movie, yes I am. 

I FINALLY KNOW WHAT THE ROUTE OF THE MICROBUS SAYS! It says "LAGO DE GUADALUPE, E. ZAPATA" WHICH IS INCORRECT HAHAHAHA. Also, the man with the hat hahaha it’s Mexico City not Monterrey.

Lago de Guadalupe is not in Mexico City and “E. Zapata” maybe is the subway station but they’re absolutely not close to each other, well let’s move on. 

 The casa de papel guy aka Dani’s dad is speaking with a heavy spanish accent tbh

And... Goodbye Mr. casa de papel :(

They make it look as if everybody works there, it’s not a little town, you know?

Why the fuck is an employee riding a bike inside the factory? I don’t get it. 

When diego says "chale" hahaha same.

"Un robot, que chido eh" hahaha chido and it’s subtitled as "it's cool" adjka god help me please.

El señor Sánchez represents me.I mean, there was a little bit of criticism because all the mexicans represented here are white but hey, try looking for someone who looks like a mexican in damn Europe, they did the best they could.

Aaaagain: if they are in Mexico City, why the hell are they talking in english? I’ll never understand.

Typical police guy distracted with the damn phone, yes we are in Mexico.

That policeman looks like Burt Reylonds (?)

Wish Grace would’ve arrived in that microbus hahahaha

That microbus is weird, nope I don't know her. 

That microbus has the same route as the previous one but it has something else under “E. Zapata”, like “Tecnologico” or something like that, ooofff maybe it’s Tecnologico de Monterrey hahaha that college is kinda near Lago de Guadalupe so haha ok, let’s keep going. 

Another distracted cop, my Mexico.

I love how Grace beats cops everywhere, this is an irrelevant scene for this analysis but I just love it so much.

Back to the factory: "Qué hace aquí tu jefe?" jasjdd "que haces aquí, jefe", the slang is on point here haha

"Olvidaste tu comida mijo" jasdjkhd

"Me quieren reemplazar por esa pinche máquina" apparently translates to a "they’re replacing me with that damn machine" jaksdj at least put a “fucking” or something.

Again that heavy spanish accent with that deep voice, hmmm

I’m going to ignore the Factory fight because there’s no Mexican stuff here.

Well, Diego and Dani keep saying “vámonos” and they don’t fucking leave haha

“GET IN” and Dani saying "ya güera ya güera" jakdhakjd I love her

Pink cab is saved from being destroyed by Grace.

Here comes the policía municipal to spoil everything. 

Ok, my theory is they are in the limits of Mexico City and the metropolitan area aka the state which is also a kinda not very good looking place and omg hahaha I love that.

Here’s when Diego slips an almost inaudible “no mames”, I know I heard it.

And well, THANK YOU GOVERNOR OF MEXICO CITY BECAUSE THE PATROLS ARE NOT THE SAME COLOR AND THEY’RE NOT ACCURATE ANYMORE, THANK YOU FOR SPOILING EVERYTHING.

These are our patrols now:

Ugh.

Noooo the tacos :( this really hurt a lot.

This is where I think they enter a highway called “circuito exterior mexiquense” that effectively connects the metropolitan area of the state with Mexico City and I LOVE IT. I love everything, do I?

Also some say the Rev-9 is driving a snow plow truck, is it? The only time it has snowed in Mexico City was in 1967, a long time ago.

Everything is screaming “circuito exterior”, yes I’m getting those vibes and I’m here for it.

Another pink cab is seen. Fun fact: because of its pink and white colors, we call them “hello kittys” and before that they were like wine color and gold so we called them “iron man”.

“FASTER GO FASTER”  Grace: “shut the fuck up, dummy”  and giving looks that could kill.

Hahahaha those license plates are so damn old and they say “Chihuahua” and “Guanajuato” ahaha doesn’t make very much sense.

The car of my friend hahaha

The truck behaving like my friend’s car.

Here’s where as a mexican citizen who used to drive every day in that highway, I detected some continuity details in the pursuit scene: 

ROAD SIGN 1: Nextlalpan/Jaltenco haha on the opposite side of the road.

ROAD SIGN 2: Querétaro/Toluca/Tultitlán on the right side they’re driving

ROAD SIGN 1 again: first mistake fellas, now the sign is in the lane where they’re driving.

ROAD SIGN 3: Ecatepec/Texcoco, how do I know? I just do.

ROAD SIGN 4: This is my fave because in this one there's my shitty town hahaha SALIDA LECHERIA-TEXCOCO AV.JOSE LOPEZ PORTILLO Y COACALCO hahaha

It really looks like the circuit, I drive there a lot of times and Grace was there, destroying everything :')

ROAD SIGN 4: My fave sign now is on the opposite side, mistake number two.

Each and every one of the times I went to the theaters to watch this movie, in this scene everyone was like "ohhhh what? omg nooo" 

ROAD SIGN 4: Mistake number 3, the sign of Lecheria is shown again when the Grace truck had already passed there on the other side of the road.

ROAD SIGN 2: There's again the sign of Queretaro/ Toluca/Tultitlan when Grace's truck has already driven over there.

ROAD SIGN 5: Toluca/Lago de Guadalupe, remember? Lago de Guadalupe,  just like the microbus route sign.

ROAD SIGN 5: Just because I love to see Mackenzie with those signs in the background hahaha

Anyway, the circuito exterior mexiquense is a fucking mess and of course I love it.

Dani, I wouldn't go to the police either, they’re a bunch of useless idiots and I'm sure they would blame YOU for everything and get you into jail for 40 years.

Really bitch? RECETA MEDICA AJSDKASDK he's asking her for a prescription lmao her face I can’t...

Also I always wondered how Grace understood the pharmacy guy but now I know that in the version brought up here, this guy was dubbed to spanish while in the original version he spoke english, those little differences and  I’ll never understand why they did it.

Typical guy filming the mess hahaha 

"Qué pasa güera" traduced to "what the hell", nice (not actually)

That looks like a little town but God knows where is it, eww

Sure, we all have an uncle who is a coyote (no, not true). We call them polleros, not coyotes but whatever.

"Ojalá ustedes no fueran tan blancas" "I wish you two weren't so white" hasjdaj Love it.

So they're going to the famous BESTIA (beast), that's the nickname of the train because it's so huge.

I'm laughing hard because in some sites they called this scene "train station scene" hahaha this is everything but a train station haha ffs

Fun fact: I see that train everyday just without migrants, I think they ride the train in other certain places. This is a pic a took of the real bestia:

LOS HEROES TECAMAC JAJAJAJAJA lmao lmao I can't fucking believe it jasjdkaja the little shitty town close to mine LOVE IT

Ciudad Valles jaskdja

Ciudad Victoria.

China??? wtf now that's just random places.

EDIT: Someone replied to his post and told me it’s a place in Nuevo León and yes it is, CHINA, Nuevo León Mx. close to Ciudad Victoria AND LAREDO. And this means I don’t know my country enough. Gracias @vickysan24​

Is this supposed to be Guanajuato? when on earth they went to Guanajuato? I need to talk to Sonja Klaus asap

Mackenzie saying "hola" is one of the best things that could've ever happened to me.

ahhh the food jasjdja has a lemon in it, I don't know, could be sincronizadas? hahahsha I think it’s eggs and beans with pico de gallo.

Mastering the skill of grabbing the tortilla like a spoon, nice. She has my seal of approval.

cartel de Sinaloa... really?! I really don't know what to think about this one...come the fuck on.

So that's how they cross huh, they keep putting walls but people always will find a way.

La migra got them:(

I’m going to do a big skip here. The border patrol and the detention center are next and key in the story but I don’t really know how can I bring something new in this analysis, maybe I’ll try later.

Next: When they find Carl.

For a looong time I really thought those beers were Corona and now it turns out they weren’t, sad day but oh well there are much better beers out there, so... *nail polish emoji*

Is that... MOLE DE LA COSTEÑA???? JAJAJSJAJD Did you think I wasn’t going to see that?! That’s a great product placement.

And another picture of la Virgen de Guadalupe.

I'm far from being an expert but i'm not sure if we drink beer like that, with the lemon in the bottle.

Another beer?  Yes, thank you.

Even Grace is not sure if beer is drank in that way.

But beer with lemon and salt is everything, I admit it.

Ok, fast forward, no mexican things until the very end;

"Mataste todo lo que quería cabron" jsadkhdjha what a delight! and it’s been translated to "you took everything I had, bastard" lmao yeah, right. Sounds better in spanish, obviously.

Yes people, only a mexican can throw herself to a Terminator and fight with it with her own bare hands.

And to finish this deep analysis, I want to point the great originality (sarcasm on) they had with some character names: Diego Boneta is Diego, Alicia Borrachero aka Carl’s “wife” is called Alicia and at some point the Rev-9 is called Gabriel, like hmm ok, I remember Diego Boneta’s character was rumored to be named Miguel but yeah it was just a rumor. Ohhh and the lady selling tamales her real life name is yes, you guessed it: Mona.

If you’re reading this, I want to thank you for getting this far, for taking your time and I hope this “little analysis” helped you to understand some things better about the movie that maybe you’ve missed in your viewings or to discover new things about Mexico. Did I miss something? Let me know what you think.

[tesskeats]

Comfort

I’m finding some comfort in read a friend of a friends Instagram. At 2:20am in the morning because my son is teething and can’t sleep. There for I can’t sleep. 😊🤣🤷‍♀️

This girl lets call her Sara, is living the dream life, my dream life for myself.

I believe she’s about 23 years old, living in Japan and has gone to a Japanese/English university and graduated with her Bach of arts degree. She has many friends English and Japanese, picked out her graduation clothes which turned out to be traditional Japanese wear, Japanese boyfriend, and now she’s going to find a job back home in America to be closer to her family.

The regret and mistakes I’ve made in life. Here is how my life turned out after graduation of high school.

2005-2011 what is like to call the fuzzy years. I broke up with Will, my half Japanese first love of my life for a guy who I became friends with at an arcade and lived near me. Because it was easier at the time than the long distance. Boy was I severely mistaken. I would never have known that this boy... Will... I would still be trying to look for his love and him for over 10+ years in every relationship. I never should have left him. Because it started a chain reaction of events where people would hurt me and abuse me. The boy I dated instead of Will, Taylor, cheated on me. Then I started dating women again. Also cheated on me. Then I found Melissa. Short lived, short loved, but so intense at the time for me and pivotal in my sexual identity. I had never loved a woman that much.

So from Melissa to about 2011 I dated/ slept with quite a few women. Couldn’t really find the one or didn’t care to due to being so fucked up. Gained a lot of weight. During this time I went to a community college and struggled so much due to bad education from an alternative school which mentally was the best choice for me at the time. I ended up getting kicked out temporarily from that community college due to plagiarism, which I truly believed how you wrote a research paper was rewarding bits and pieces from different websites and books.. and make it fit. My freshman comp 1 teacher failed me on my last paper, and I would have passed. I had to write a letter pleading back into university. It was embarrassing but I grew from it. Back to relationships. So I never graduated from the community college but I took up to Japanese 4 mainly to speak to my boyfriend but ex at the time.... I didn’t succeed past that or want to try since we weren’t together. Another future opportunity gone. During that time I worked at a home daycare. So I had decided I wanted to be a massage therapist on a cruise. So I jumped into massage school 2010, graduated and couldn’t find a cruise job. Gained up to 256 and went to another university for graphic design. Where was my life even going? I just kept jumping to jumping from situation not ever really thinking it through or understanding what’s going on. Still to this day my life would be much happier and simpler if I had just stayed with Will. Sigh. So I meet Ashley when I start graphic design university and she is my perfect new better Will, but a woman. And like I said perfect. 💗 I couldn’t have imagined to meet someone with a similar personality, make me laugh, perfect. But we got comfortable. And I’m not sure what happened specifically. Other than, she said at the end I never protected myself. And when we broke up, I didn’t have a fall out plan. Which seems to be a pattern in my life. Like I’m not mature or wise enough to have a back up plan or think ahead. I was heart broken when I left my perfect job in Oklahoma to move us to Colorado only to find 6 months later... she would break up with me and I’d have to restart all over again. Honestly it was the most civil and best break up you could have. Still to this day (even though we do not talk, she’s married, and I wish her the best happiness ever), best relationship I ever had. And I took it for granted and somewhere along the way messed up. Like all these awful people in my life messed up on me. And I did it to her. I carry such heavy weight on how I handled everything with her. it’s hard to let go and not over analyze every minute detail of WHAT DID I DO WRONG? Why am I not enough.

Fast forward 2015-2019. I had the worst relationship with a person I didn’t think you could have. And I was sooooooo Soooo SOOOOOOO completely beer goggles and blinded by the multiple multiple cheating. And I thought, hey if he loves me enough to have a child with me, that surpasses it all. Not with narcissistic sociopaths. They have no guilt, only shame. And shame because how everyone else views them. I have a 2 year old son. He has not seen his dad in almost 3 weeks, and he lives 5 minutes away and is unemployed like myself. It breaks my heart. He had him for 18 hours almost 3 weeks ago, and he asked me to come get him bc he kept saying momma, momma, momma. Fast forward to today. Not only does he have a new gf he cheated on me with, but one he’s known for 4 weeks, lives in Alaska, and is a stranger. He told me they’re just friends. Then it’s just the game. Then when I found I LOVE YOU TEXTS, it’s just how they talk bc or the game. And now 2.5 weeks after we break up. She’s in secret living there. I predicted this would happen, I predicted she would move in, however, I did not predict it would happen so fucking soon and he would try to HIDE IT FROM ME. Well shit is going down.

How is this my life? From a simple romance and true love with Will. To fighting for my mental sanity and son. Unemployed, single mother, living with her mom at 32.

I am truly afraid this, is going to kill me. It’s so much pressure on my organs and heart because i cannot handle the stress and pain of it all. I will give my son everything and my life for him to be with me. Taking care of him gives me such intense selfish joy, I cannot imagine my life without him. I’m filled with love, pride, and excitement to watch him grow and learn and be the boy he is becoming. When I look at his face, I see his father so clearly and part of me wants to cry and throw up, but I remind myself... if you give him all the love...teach him from right and wrong...show him how to truly care and love someone.. he won’t turn out to be his father. He won’t hurt women like his dad hurt me and so many others in his past. No in person should ever have to be in the situation I am in. The pain. The physical, mental and emotional pain. I thought I had anxiety and depression before... this is such another level.

With my anxiety and depression so heightened I’m worried I will die soon. My body and organs can’t take enough of the stress and mental damage that’s been afflicted on me. And My son will be forever with his father and new family. And even though, if I do die, l won’t be able to find out how he turns out. Which is the worst thing that could ever happen to me. Because I’ll be gone. And I won’t be able to see how he lives and grows up. So I want to write a short letter to my son.

~~~

Dear Noy,

Today is April 11, 2019 2:47am. You just turned two a few weeks ago and mommy is so proud of you. You’re learning to put your shoes on, and even try to say more words! You can whisper shoes, blue, show, and even car. You can clearly say; momma, dada, mmm, bubble, baba, car, duck, meow, woof, roar,mum mum. Right now I think that’s about it. I started you on almond milk recently because you had a tummy ache for a while and you love it. You also really love mango juice and frozen pineapples. :) we recently went and had ice cream together and you got a vanilla cone and shared with mommy. Mommy loves all these fun special times and moments with you. Especially bath time. Playing in the water and singing abcs and “swimming swimming swimming in the sea that mean old shark will never catch me” and you will flop on your tummy and swim away when I sing that lol. You love bubbles and colored tablets in your bath and to splash around. When you get hurt or sad you cry for momma. And lift your arms up and say “ohhh 🥺😩😢🥺” because you want me to hold you and it’s the most precious and amazing feeling ever. It makes mommy’s heart and head and everything so happy and loved and wanted. You’re my angel and my true version of happiness and fullfillment. I’m so honored and lucky to have you in my life Noy. You’re such a good boy. Mommy loves you! So so much! 💗💋 I hope that someday I can read you this letter and tell you how much you’ve changed and grown into a young man. See you go to elementary school and high school graduation. But baby if I don’t, and I for some reason leave you too soon. It doesn’t mean I didn’t do anything and everything in my power to love and provide the very best for you. I am not a perfect person, but I know I love you. So be strong, remember all these little memories I shared with you. And remember to treat everyone with kindness, do not hurt a lady because it can truly hurt her forever like it has with mommy, and plan for your dreams. You can do anything you want. Don’t settle. And love your family with all your heart. I love you Noy. XOXOXOX, Mommy

It’s officially 3am and I have to get up at 7am to do some things. 2pm is when everything is getting into motion. And going down. Please universe spare me the drama and heart ache. Let this be easy and smooth. Let me handle things with grace. Let me live and not die.

[dis-connect2connect-blog]

Dahiwadi – A way of life Its 5 am (early morning for most of us) and the alarm bell rings ….. Dare I press the snooze button and am sure to miss on what fun lies ahead of us Hastily we all get up  and after packing our backsacks and our meager daily essentials , we head off to exciting extended weekend After managing to hop on our old time friends to tag along  , we, a group of ten ( 6 adults , “Abhijeet , Pratima , Trupti , Vikrant, Hubby and Self “  and 4 notorious pranksters “ Om, Shaurya , Vrushank and my little Munchkin , Vivs”  squeezed into the car to start the 300km drive from  Mumbai to Dahiwadi via Satara  On the way , , we started munching right on the word Go  Healthy breakfast of Home made  finger licking Idlis , Yummy Aloo Sandwiches and methi Theplas .. Not to mention the sinful Chips and farsan .  Took a halt at the famous Food Court to do our morning ablutions . It was drizzling and the weather was pleasing enough  to keep our mood upbeat . As we reached Satara during our lunch time , we had a sumptuous meal of Jwari Bhakri , Gavran Chicken , Mutton ( A total feast for Non Veggies ) and Akkhi Masoor Dal and the staple Bharlela Vanga ( Treat for  Veggies as well )  Then before moving ahead to Sajjangad , we ladies headed to a small clothing outlet which was bang opposite our Manas Restaurant . The window shopping looked good and we actually managed to get some nice day to day outfits. Looking at our happy faces , our respective spouses wondered whther it was d meal or the shopping that’s adding the glow … Well we ladies know it better …. Right !!! Within half an hour we reached Sajjangad ,, Literally means the Fort of Good people … we were kind of misfits … on this soil … Lol .. This is a popular scenic spot located about 20 kilometers from Satara city. You will find here a series of waterfalls, one of which is 500 meters in height. Most tourists come here during the rainy season when the waterfalls become thunderous.. Sajjangad in the district of Satara not only occupies a place of historical importance but tops the list when it comes to the devotees of Samarth Ramdas Swami, one of the most prominent spiritual mentors in this part of India. It was here that he stayed for a long time as also breathed his last. We walked up the 100 steps with heavy breaths … ( Cons of the mundane urban life ) but enjoyed the climb since it was coupled with Poses and selfies . On our downhill march , we also noticed the beautiful rain bow since it was drizzling in the sunshine . We all were happy as kids to spot this magical moment since its difficult to spot such sights sitting in the closed city office walls  Further, we decided to  move to Chowpatty … Well halt … The name is not a misnomer .. Its just  like our very own Chowpatty with food stalls minus the beach ( J ). We  with mutual consensus decided to give a miss to the Kaas Plateau is about 22 kilometers from Satara city. A UNESCO World Heritage Site, it comes alive with a wide variety of flowers - more than 850 different species - during the months of August and September. Since we were in June and visiting a plateau without flowers would not have been a great sight . ( We shall visit again only for Kaas Pathar in Sept …. Keeping Our fingers crossed )After gorging on the junk food like Pav bhaji ,  Bhel Puri ,Ice cream and giving out burps of happiness, we laid our hands on the famous Mango barfi,  Kandhi Pedhe , Jambul and Ground nuts . Tired as we jumped into the car to head to Dahi -wadi , to our friend’s maternal abode . Pratima’s Parents and her younger sister , Chakuli and friend Sneha were eagerly awaiting  to greet us all with open arms After a quick dinner ( since our tummies were already full ..) we snuggled in the bedsheets to peaceful sleep . Next day after a good night sleep , we all headed to Shikhar Shingnapur . The Shambhu mahadev mandir in shingnapurits an old temple devoted to lord shiva. when I heard about shikhar shingnapur for first time then i thought its related with another famous temple of maharashtra that is shani shingnapur, which is devoted to lord Shani  dev since this temple is located at top (shikhar) of shingnapur hills, thats why it must be called shikhar shingnapur. two more shiva temples which should be visited by lord shiva devotees and are very near to this temple are amruteshwar temple and guptlinga temple (about 3 km away). the temple is connected with great king shiva ji maharaj family. shiva ji maharaj used to visit this temple often. There are many shivlingas (around 8) in the temple. thats why this temple is also known as dakshin kailash. Also in the inner sanctum, we saw two shivling. in this temple and 5 nandi . During mahashivratri festival many devotees visit this temple. And  as per legend, lord shiva and parvati ma got married here. After a delicious homemade meal served at Khanaval ( interesting news being this place holds the wedding ground of our very Own Abhi and Pratima )   we ventured to Guptlinga mahadev temple – this secluded shiva temple is situated about 3 km from shikhar shingnapur shiva temple.  both these temples are connected with chhatrapati shivaji maharaj family. another important shiva temple situated nearby is amruteshwar temple. maha dwar of shree shetra guptlinga mahadev mandir. like shikhar shignapur, this temple is also connected with great king Shivani maharaja family. Udayanraje Bhosale is the 13th descendant of the Maratha king chhatrapati Shivani maharaja. view from the main gate of the temple premises. at the entrance few ladies were selling pooja material. we were greeted by few monkeys at this point you have to climb down around 100-200 steps to reach the mahadev temple. there are few shiva and parvati ma statues placed on the way.. guptlinga mahadev temple. it’s a small temple known for its gupt shivling.. Inside the sanctum can see one marble tile is removed in this above photo. the tile is removed to feel the gupt shivling which is placed right below this shivling. that’s why it is called as guptlinga mahadev temple. There is water below this shivling. you have to put your stretched arm totally inside this cavity made by displacing the tile. at a distance of 2 to 2.5 feet, the shivling is felt in inverted shape. it is said that only fortunate people can touch it. i saw few people were scared to put their hands inside the cavity. so take the mahadev name and try your luck. After  this was the highlight of the trip , wherein we all moved to fields … Shetat…. Alongwith Bhau ( Pratima’s father ).. Well in the locals , Our parents are not termed as Baba, Daddy , Pappa , But by the name which the entire houselhold calls them as .. hence our favourite Bhau  took us to the trip down the memory lane … We all had the famous bullock cart ride . A bullock cart or ox cart is a two-wheeled or four-wheeled vehicle pulled by oxen (draught cattle). It is a means of transportation used since ancient times in many parts of the world. They are still used today where modern vehicles are too expensive or the infrastructure does not favor them. Used especially for carrying goods, the bullock cart is pulled by one or several oxen (bullocks). The cart (also known as a jinker) is attached to a bullock team by a special chain attached to yokes, but a rope may also be used for one or two animals. The driver and any other passengers sit on the front of the cart, while load is placed in the back. Traditionally the cargo was usually agrarian goods and lumber.The kids had a blast on this humpty dumpty ride while the adults were somehow holding their spines upright . . Then we plucked brinjals , Ground nuts , Drumsticks , Methi, , Bottle Gourd ,and managed to get enough for a three days The wind was blasting and the atmosphere was pleasant but a bit dry .The sugarcane fields were sashaying as per the wind directions  and the atmosphere was magical . With a heavy heart we bid adieu to the fields , On the way sighted the national bird taking his ritual walk . Walking August , this pristine beauty  with all the colours embedded into one, was like a lottery . We cherished every moment of this serene walk .After this we visited the famous Gondavale which is a samadhi place of Shri Brahma Chaitanya Gondavalekar Maharaj. Gondavale is a very famous pilgrimage place. It gets crowd on every pournima and at the time of Shri Raamnavmi, Gurupournima, Gokulashtami, Daasnavmi.. Gondavalekar Maharaj was devotee of the god Rama. He spent a lifetime teaching the importance of peace. He showed path of devotion of god Rama to thousands of devotees. He taught a Mantara to people “Shri Ram Jay Ram Jay Jay Ram Samadhi Mandir : is the place where Shree Maharaj rests after he discarded the human body. The day begins early at the mandir at 3 am. It is best to attend the Kakad aarti which starts at 4.45 am which is followed by phugadi, bhajan etc. The Samadhi is a simple stone structure atop which are the paduka. On the level above that is the Gopal Krishna idol. It represents that this location was a cowshed. Shree Maharaj loved cows and he had wished that he be put to rest among the cow After an eventful day we headed back to “ Pratima “The bungalow Name of Pratima’s Maternal abode completely satiated . We had great dinner served by Pratima’s Aai . Then despite a tiring  entire day schedule we ladies had the energy to spare to our small talks on Life and life beyond work . The topic was so interesting that we actually took it till 3.30 early morning .. Managed to wake up by 9 am so as to  march back to Mumbai . We left from Dahi wadi at 11am  bidding farewell to a great hospitality . Thanks a lot Pratima for giving us an opportunity to meet your real self . This trip re-inforced  the very  basis of our existence . It’s the local which is still genuine . Dahiwadi Rocks !!!!

[for-kenn]

August 5, 2020

3:54 AM

Babeeeee, I’ve been so busy lately. Things have been heavy at the office, right? But surprisingly, we were still able to communicate well. AND it seems like we have so much going on between us today. HAHAHA So weird.

Anyway, this post is a bit late. I should have written it for August 4 but I was so busy last night. But since I haven’t really slept yet, I still consider this time as continuation of my yesterday. LOL So confusing?

My day (August 4) started with an alarm clock waking me up. I have been starting at the ceiling for nearly ten minutes until I saw your messages on Whatsapp. You said “Good morning” at around 9:15 AM my time, which was 2:15AM your time. We chatted for less than fifteen minutes as I needed to get ready for my meeting.

Imagine... My wake up time was your sleeping time.

Well, then your August 4 started with our quick chat on Twitter. I needed to go again for a client meeting. By 7PM, I was at home and we started talking again. While at it, I didn’t know that you were on FoodPanda until you told me and confessed that you’re gonna send me food.

I kept on refusing during the first few attempts on your part. Somehow, you made me say yes. Then, you ordered food items from Dimsum Diner and Maxi Mango. We were still on the phone when both orders arrived and babe, it was raining hard!!! I think we really miss each other because we still stayed on the call. 

Eventually, you told me to have my second meal for the day. OMG. I was happy with the siomai and the pork dish. Babe, my brain cells are too exhausted right now so I can’t even remember the name of that dish. BUT, what I couldn’t forget was the Maxi Mango order. I sent you a video of it, and it doesn’t look ice cream. What happened? LOL

So, maybe you are wondering why my photo for today is the Krispy Kreme. Well, I just want to remember this night as one of those moments when you ordered items based on my recommendations. So you got Nutella, Original Glazed and Lotus Biscoff. This is mean but I also want to remind you that the burger you ordered from Burger King today wasn’t good. You said the chicken is called or the burger is not as fresh as you expected it to be. Huhuhu Too bad.

Your neighbors also gave you small crabs dish today plus the baby potatoes. You only had the potatoes ‘cause you are maarte. 

Hmmm, what else did we do? Well, we talked and you got my law office address tonight. You also checked your old Macbook Pro to get MS Office for me (again), but the one you gave last night worked all of a sudden. Weird. Hahaha 

Babe, I miss you. I want to be with you.

xx

aa 💚

Time difference: 3:54 AM - August 4 (PH) | 8:54 PM - August 3 (UK)

[elwheeler011]

Tagged by my homie @alltoowheeler :)

Rules: tag ten of your followers you want to get to know better

Name: Gessie (it’s pronounced just like Jessie but it’s spelt with a G because my parents wanted me to be unique  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Gender: Female

Star Sign: Sagittarius

Height: 5′2

What images do you have set as your desktop/cell wallpapers?: My home screen is a vera bradley pattern because I’m a basic bitch and my lock screen is a Bible quote… because I’m a basic bitch.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?: I don’t think I have no, but I do have a crush on my ENT doctor lmao but too bad I only see him as needed (so I haven’t seen him in a like year).

What was your last text message?: “Don’t forget to get hand soap” sent to my mom bc I am the glue that holds this family together.

What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?: Well in 10 years I’ll be 29, and *ideally* I want to be a teacher’s assistant for like pre-k and hopefully in 10 years I’ll be married, and have at least one kid. Sooo like I already volunteer as an aide in a preschool class and my passion is working with kids, and that’s what I want to do with my life. And I just want to be an assistant as opposed to a lead teacher because then I don’t have to go back to college. I went to college for two weeks and hope to never ever go back but that’s a story for another time. Annnd honestly there’s nothing I want more in life than to just be a wife and a mom.

If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?: I’d love to be on a tropical beach island with turquoise water and white sand, lounging with a fruity drink tbh.

What was your coolest Halloween costume?: I was Eleven last year!!! Believe it or not, my head actually happened to be shaved at the time already!!!! So yea I was all out 😄 I have a hair loss condition and this time last year I literally looked like Eleven in season one, but now my hair has grown out so now I look like Millie currently does in real life!

What was your favorite 90s show?: Hey Arnold lol

Who was your last kiss?: uhhhh I haven’t even had a first kiss lmaoitsfine…

Have you ever been stood up?: no?

Favorite ice cream flavor?: Cotton candy

Have you been to Las Vegas?: I have not

Your favorite pair of shoes?: I have these really sparkly pink glittery sneakers that have like winky eyes on them lol

What is your favorite fruit?: I don’t really eat fruit on its own by itself, but I loooove making my own smoothies with pineapple, mango, banana, and coconut milk!

What’s your favorite book?: I used to read literally all the time as a child, but I barely read anymore haha. But my favorite book that I’ve read in ~recent years~ would probably be All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven. It’s heavy, but I highly recommend, and i really related to it as someone with bipolar disorder.

What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?: HAHAHAHAHA literally any choice I’ve ever made in my entire life :) no just kidding but like idk I can’t think of anything specific lol

What loser?: I have no idea what this question is asking but apparently has to do with the movie IT, which I have not seen sooo

Tagging @my-castle-crumbled @themikewheelers @simple-random-crazy-person @stranger-of-things annnd I literally can’t think of anyone else my mind is going blank but anyone else who wants to do this!!

[softbutchzenyatta]

what's your fave drink from starbucks

IDK i really like trying new things so i try to get something different every time... my go-to is a mango dragonfruit refresher w/ coconut milk instead of water (like the pink drink). sometimes that’s too strong though so lately i’ve been getting a violet drink with half berry hibiscus and half mango dragonfruit, which seems to be just perfect

ALSO since we get free drinks my coworker taught me that like, if you’re hungry and don’t wanna pay for food lol, you can just get a frappuccino with a banana blended in and it comes out like a smoothie... the banana increases the volume of the drink though so ask for a larger cup, it’s always safe to do that when adding stuff to a frap ... so if i’m hungry i’ll get like a grande java chip frap w/ a banana in a venti cup, or if i just need caffeine i’ll get a grande java chip w/ 2 blonde shots in a venti cup ... (note that bananas and shots are expensive to begin with so take my advice with a grain of salt LMAO)i would also recommend heavy whipping cream instead of regular milk if you want it to fill you up more/add more calories. i had a double chocolatey chip frap today and the heavy cream makes it taste just like ice cream

also a big fan of blonde black and white mochas with a pump or so less of each syrup (since i dont really like sweet things sehosgjse). i usually get it iced but it tastes worse iced if they forget to use the blonde shots or use the standard amount of pumps so be careful jesfjskd. if you get it hot i Highly recommend it with soy milk

[canaryatlaw]

today was pretty good. When my alarm went off at 9 I didn’t want to get up, but couldn’t calculate what time to reset my alarm for, so I just said fuck it and got up, lol. Got ready and ventured to church, they had these super awesome pumpkin muffins with a cinnamon streusel topping in the volunteer lounge and they were heavenlyyyyy. The service was great of course, we were finishing our series on relationships, and this one was focusing on vulnerability, with those around us and with God. Our female lead pastor was preaching, and she’s like, so good at it lol. perfect mixture of funny and sincerity. She talked about not being afraid to actually be vulnerable with people, and how those vulnerable parts of us are who we really are, and as long as we’re hiding them, our relationships will be stilted because of it. Yeah, really good sermon, and they did an awesome song at the end of the service that I’m now obsessed with and I currently have playing on my phone as my type this, lol. So, service is over, I head up to the babies room, aware that, once again, I was the only person signed up for the service. lovely. Our supervisor lady was originally going in and out between us and preschool because they only had one person as well, but then we got a swarm of babies so she stuck with us for a while lol. I didn’t count, but I think we ended up with about 6 or 7. one little girl was protesting being left, so her mom ended up staying with her and was additionally helpful, lol. I mainly played with two little ones, a 6 month old that had the chubbiest cheeks I have every seen on a baby, oh my goodness, and a 4 month old little boy who was just such a happy boy, he got so excited just by me shaking the rattle or making faces at him. We had a few other regulars, and one girl I hadn’t seen before that was in and out of crying for most of the service but eventually got fairly settled, and she was pretty much the only one that cried so I’d definitely call that a success. Overall, fairly calm week, so I’ll take it. Service ended and I headed out, had to wait a solid 20 minutes for the bus to show up after getting off the train, and the coffee/donut shop’s ice cream machine wasn’t working so I had to settle for a mango smoothie instead of my customary soft serve vanilla cone. It was still good, though. Eventually the bus did come and I made it home, made some food first, put some laundry in, and then jumped into my legal profession reading, which didn’t take too long. I skipped over bus orgs because I’m gonna be at school for like 5 hours tomorrow between the meeting I have at noon and my class at 5:50, so I’m gonna bring that book with me and do the reading then (and then leave the book at school so I don’t have to carry two with me on Tuesday, since I don’t have to carry a textbook for poverty law anyway). I didn’t get that much of my adoption reading done, but I wrote down all the case cites so I can just read them tomorrow from my computer (as opposed to lugging along another very heavy text book). It ended up being like, 9 cases, but again, 5 hours to kill, so I think I’ll manage. Had some dinner, then watched more of Smallville. I’m so close to the end it makes me sad lol. They had some of the crazy season 10 episodes that I’d mostly forgotten about but were just as nuts. I keep feeling so bad for Tess. SHE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER. Like she got this beautiful redemption arc only for her to get offed at the very end of the show (totally unnecessary!!) by her douchebag bastard father, Lionel Luthor. Sigh. At least the Supergirl writers look as though they’ll be treating Lena better than that (let’s hope, anyway). And of course we have my bbys Chloe and Oliver (somewhat accidentally?) getting married but they’re obviously sticking with it, and are gonna live happily ever after (just ask the Smallville season 11 comics). But yeah, that was about it for the night. Like I said, tomorrow I have a meeting at noon and then class at 5:50, so I should be fairly productive in my free time (let’s hope, anyway). Alright that’s all I got for now. Signing off. Goodnight sweetie pies. Stay beautiful. 

[opepin]

july: week one

03: i was so tired waking up. lol my back was sore af from the massage yesterday. x_x; i hopped on my laptop and then had some breakfast and did some work. my plan for the day was to record the rest of the videos today except for one that i don’t know much about... no one on my team was working today apparently. meh. kevin went to work for a meeting and ended up working a full day basically. i recorded a good amount of videos and found some that i need to record later too. i spent the rest of the day watching ff-x cutscenes on youtube. there is a full video of them that is 11 hours long. i want to get through it haha. kevin gamed when he got back. we also ate a very yummy mango when he got back. mmmm. it’s summer time~ i did some errands and then i exercised for 45 minutes and kevin eventually cooked at like 9 pm. we were excited for another “weekend” day tomorrow. after eating, we showered and then i gamed and did my pt stretches. i think i iced my feet as well when kevin came to the couch to play hollow knight. i got real tired and got a headache. staying up and getting up late in the day has not been good for my health :/ i told kevin this while he was gaming and i was half asleep, lol. i stayed awake for the rest of his gaming and then we brushed up and i went to sleep at like 1 am. i think kevin stayed up gaming with friends until 3:30 am...

04: ho hummm. i think we got up at like 12 pm haha. i still wanted chipotle so i called to see if the closest one to us was open, and they were! then we got up and drove over to the mall and found the chipotle. i got a chicken fajita bowl and kevin got a steak burrito. they didn’t fill my bowl up at all and didn’t wrap kevin’s burrito properly... womp womppp. it was below average for chipotle but still delicious because it’s chipotle. we stopped by clark’s to see their sale but i didn’t want anything so then we just drove back home and ate. we didn’t have plans today except to chill and bum. so kevin gamed for the majority of the day and so did i. kevin played a good amount of hollow knight so i was able to game next to him. i got into completing the beastiary, compounding abilities, and all the weapons and etc. i still have one more genome to get after i defeat the game though. i also gave up on waiting to buy dr. bronner’s lip balm and found out about hurraw lip balms and bought those instead on iherb for a very good discount and free shipping! yay! i got the night time chamomile, spf 15 sun, pitta one, and the earl grey one. i’m excited~ then we went outside to grill burgers for dinner. so we did something related to the 4th haha. i wanted ice cream for dessert so we drove over to kam man and we got mango and black sesame mochi ice cream as well as more canned fruits and coconut milk to make che thai.

i think i added too many chia seeds and palm seeds in it because it was super heavy... :( kevin confirmed after we chilled it and tried it out. next time, i’m only using half of that palm seed can and about half of the chia seeds lol. we ate the mochi ice cream right when we got back and found out one of the brands packaged the mochi individually...and was also packaged in the insulated bags inside of the cardboard box...that’s intense. kevin played more hollow knight and then when he went to play pubg, i picked myself up and did cardio kickboxing for an hour. i was so tired after 30 minutes... man, my cardio has gone down! then i cooled off, did my pt stretches, showered, and iced my feet while defeating the first boss of the end game in bravely default. it was around 12 am so i brushed and went to sleep at like 12:30 am. zzzz. it was hard to go to sleep that early tbh so i rolled around a bit before managing to calm myself and sleep.

05: i set my alarm for 8:30 am but i got up at 9 am, which i was still happy about. then i got myself to do some cardio even though i felt so sore from yesterday’s workout. lol kevin made rice last night and forgot to put away the rice and our food for lunch tomorrow. he also left the ‘keep warm’ feature on the rice cooker...derp. he went to sleep at 3 am again...tsk tsk tsk. i showered, he brushed his teeth, and we ate breakfast together. then he left for work and i figured out one of the videos i could record (yay me). then i started editing my videos and ate lunch and then continued on to make one pagers. it was a very quiet morning of work. i also got my book of the month in the mail along with my mom’s birthday gift (: i found a mint condition wan wan the dog crystal for her to complete the family collection ;D ! the rest of the day was super productive. i watched some ff-x cutscenes after work and then worked out my obliques while watching more haha. then i did my pt stretches and prepped the veggies for dinner.

kevin got back, we showered, and then started cooking dinner. i continued watching cutscenes and then we ate while watching some pokemon showdown streams. he played a bit of hollow knight after dinner and then washed dishes. i iced my feet and watched some youtube videos. then i brushed up and hopped into bed and read a bit of my new book of the month. i went to sleep before 12 am. zzzzz. it’s been hard sleeping because it gets so hot in the room -__-’ we have the a/c on but it doesn’t seem to keep the apartment completely cool all the time....

06: i woke up at 8 am but then went back to sleep to continue my dream?! i dreamed of a woman who loved hurting people with acid...O_O and then i did some shopping in that dream and got sick??? LOL. uhh... anyway, i got up at 8:50 am and then did a low impact workout because my feet aren’t completely healed. i’ve gained some fat :( and it’s definitely because of my eating habits right now. i don’t think we’ve been eating healthily even though we still cook most of the meals at home... then i showered and woke up kevin and started work! it was another productive day at work from home. i got to record three videos before i had to leave for physical therapy. my session today was fun and relaxing. bryan put heat packs on my feet and then massaged them. then i did my daily exercises and did a new one. then i got to scrunch up a towel with my toes and pick up marbles with my toes. then i got iced and made another appointment before i go to stockholm and copenhagen!

i did some editing work after i got home. kevin came back home from work and we spent the evening playing hollow knight. well, he gamed and i watched. we ate leftovers for dinner and then i did leg exercises before showering and getting ready for bed. i hope i get back on track soon. i just feel like kind of a mess but it’s possible for me to get out of it quickly. i spent some time packing during the evening as well. well, i spent like 2 hours trying to figure out what to wear to the club for nancy/ryan’s outing saturday night and i got it with the help of frandzzz, but mostly mindy because i spammed her haha. we packed and then went to sleep zzz. well, i went to sleep at like 12 am.

07: i was supposed to wake up early to exercise but my body felt weird so i slept in. kevin went to work and then i went straight into work so i could finish what i needed before leaving for the airport. i got a lot done, actually. i managed to fit in some exercise before leaving too. our flight got delayed by an hour so i got to do more work :P i washed the dishes and then put them away. then i made sure we had everything packed and turned off the a/c. i picked up my hurraw lip balms from the mail room :3 and took one for the trip, woot. when it was time to leave, i got drenched by a passing bus LOL. i also stepped in a deep puddle of water so my shoes were wet. oh well. i met kevin at the silver line stop and he got us mcdonald’s. we tried the lobster roll from there and it was alright. i think it made my stomach hurt though....eh heh heh. the airport was kind of full, but we made it through tsa with some time to spare. i got a pink drink, as usual. our flight was full of babies. we experienced the flight where one baby cries, then the next one, and then the next one. kevin and i just wore our earbuds for the entire flight.

i tried watching some movies that were playing but then i rq’d and played bravely default. omg, i beat the game on the flight! eff yeah! my mom was there to pick us up and then we got home where i ate my mom’s home cooking for dinner. kevin rested for a bit and then left to go to yeowoosai to see brittany and mike. i stayed the night at home and talked with my mom until 12 am or so. then my mom went to sleep, i showered, and watched some youtube videos while icing my feet with frozen bags of veggies. i stayed up until 1:45 am and then tried going to sleep but i couldn’t because i had to open the door for kevin; he doesn’t know how to open my front door with the keys. i ended up waking up at 2:45 am and waiting 10-15 minutes for him to get back because he was on his way home already from soundbar, lulz. when he got home and went to shower, i instantly knocked out. i think it was about 3:30 am or something when i went to sleep.

08: i woke up at like 8:30 am and figured that kevin was too tired to drive me to see hen. so i asked my mom and she drove me to logan square’s la farina. hen got there and i was so excited. i got a slice of raspberry lemon cake and a breakfast toast with scrambled eggs and side salad. i didn’t finish all of the food, but ate a good portion of it. we caught up, talked about adulting, and etc. then hen took me to her new apartment and i got to meet her boyfriend. :) then i left at around 11 am and realized the walk to the chicago diner from here was about 20 minutes, and i was meeting daniel at 12 pm. so i took my time walking there. i stopped by a thrift store and a game stop before getting there 10 minutes before 12 pm. daniel was stuck in some traffic but i put my name down before the rush of lunchtime people came in. daniel came in at a good time because they sat us immediately. we went ham on ordering because it was a vegetarian / vegan place and i was curious. daniel was cautious in his choice of meal haha. we split a cooke dough peanut butter shake, i got the white truffle mushroom lentil loaf, and daniel got the steak and eggs (safest choice). i also got this ginger ale made with cane sugar called, ‘blue sky.’ it was very light.

the shake was delicious and it didn’t kill my stomach so, it was 100% dairy free. i recommend getting their shakes. daniel’s seitan steak tasted like nothing with spices... it literally tasted like nothing. i felt empty eating it. we also didn’t know if his eggs were real or not but they were pretty true to the real thing if they weren’t. lol my loaf was interesting... it was seasoned perfectly but the texture of the loaf was goopy and thick... i felt healthy and fibrous when eating it though, haha. i only got it because it had a side of roasted potatoes and green beans... obviously, they were DELICIOUS. i took mine to-go after a while because i was so full. daniel and i caught up in between bites and it was nice chilling with this one. i’m glad he asked if i was free and that we should get lunch. i think i under-planned in a sense but it all worked out! daniel drove me back home and coincidentally, kevin just finished parking. i thanked daniel and said goodbye to him. then kevin and i went home and he showered.

we went to a nearby chase only to find out that they needed 1-3 days to get the currency to the bank to do an exchange :( the lady there was super nice though. i guess we’ll kind of wing it then? but now we know. this is the downside of living in massachusetts -- no chase banks. kevin drove me to my eye exam and i found out that my eyes got worse. i am now around -8.00... so there’s that. my exam was quick and then we drove back home. my mom took me to a last minute hair appointment when we got back. apparently, they were booked until 5 pm but then my mom made me call when i got back to check and they said they were closing at 4 pm?! i was so confused. they’re my mom’s friends so we rushed over there (i left kevin to nap or rest or whatever at home) and then i got my hair cut. my mom was supposed to cut my hair but i think she didn’t want to mess it up and she was tired. so i got an angled bob more than an a lob and i can look like an asian mom if my hair is a certain way. LOL. well, when we got back home, kevin was ko’d and i guess we were eating dinner at home.

i lazed around the house kinda tired but not really sleepy while kevin snoozed away. he took a 3 hour nap... we ate dinner when he woke up and then lazed on the sofa while watching tv with a bad signal. then we went upstairs and got ready for tonight. i decided to wear the sports bra and skirt outfit that mindy liked but i also brought my packable parka by clipping it on to my purse. hehe. kevin called an uber and we headed to arbella to meet up with brittany, her date, linda, and mike. this place was pretty fancy. kevin and i got here first and mike got there last. we ordered some tapas and i got the airmail drink, which was super yummy. linda got cognac ice cream, which was really delicious. oh, it was my first time meeting everyone in that group (except mike) in person. it was nice meeting all of them. then i bounced at 9:50 pm to get to the hotel for ryan’s birthday thing that nancy invited me to. i walked there kind of tipsy but i was ok. i met up with mindy and garrick outside then we went in together. i said hi to gbf in the hallway and when we got into the hotel room, we were bombarded with shots of vodka. i think i took three 1 1/2 shots in total there and i basically was drunk after that, but not puking drunk. it was nice to gauge my tolerance again without all the mixing of drinks and stuff. i also remembered that vodka burns like crap.

we took pictures, met everyone, said happy birthday to ryan, who was already gone in a sense, and then walked out to mercer. omg, i kept dropping the magnetic part of my wallet because i didn’t realize that the magnet was on the other side. thankfully, someone in the group picked it up and i am forever grateful. the two that picked it up kept asking me if i had my wallet the rest of the night when they saw me >_<” heh. when we got to the club, we met up with eileen and ada! then i just remember scurrying around to find mindy and hillary. oh, lol i gushed to rowan about how i admire him for what he’s doing -- i think i’m really in a rut about what i want to do with my career :/ so it’s really special for me to see people like rowan continuing to do what they want to do without the huge focus on money. yeah... i mean that’s what i’ve been feeling on the inside so i guess it came out when i saw rowan. but i was also just super excited to go out with gbf and rowan because i haven’t ever before!

anyway, mercer wasn’t playing any music that i remember... hilllary took care of mindy with garrick and i was there hoping to dance with them but mindy left early with garrick and by that time, hillary and i were too sober for this club LOL. gbf dragged me to the dance floor where i tried to dance but then i rq’d and asked hillary if she wanted to go home. so we said bye to everyone and we got an uber to got to the apartment in lincoln park. hillary and i talked before i got dropped off and then she took the uber home. kevin met me outside and we went into the sticky af floored club... the music was better here but not perfect... the dj played some interesting rock and rap selections... i got hyped because mike dancing is so fun to watch, ahah. we left at around 2:30 am. we showered and brushed before sleeping and then then ktfo. we also drank water because we were whoozy.

09: i somehow woke up at 9 am and then got ready to meet up with julie, juan, and jia at longman and eagle. i had a bit of a headache and was a little woozy but i felt fine. kevin was kind of dead so he told me to go without me and he’ll just sleep. my mom drove me to logan square yet again and i saw juan sitting outside and then jia came from a weird direction. LOL. julie decided to sleep in (haha no judgement there!) we got the last table for 3-4 people and then the breakfast / brunch rush came in. woo! i got the pork belly benedict, and it was delicious. i also got earl grey tea because i’m on a earl grey and chamomile roll. juan got the chicken and waffles but he also wanted the pbr breakfast. jia got the duck confit hash -- it was smaller than our plates but she said it was quite filling. i couldn’t finish my benedict so these two savages finished for me, haha <3 i had a really great time hanging out with these two :))) i’m so happy i got to hang out with them this weekend.

we walked to a nearby coffee shop after and just chatted about random things. we also took some pictures and then jia had to leave for lunch (she pushed back her lunch planz for us -- thank you!) and then juan and i walked over to the fullerton bus stop and just talked about life. i was gonna take an uber back but meh, mind as well save like $10 and take the bus to red line. plus, kevin was still ko’d. we waited for the bus for a while but our conversation was never dull. when we finally got to the red line, i realized i was a noob at ventra T_T i put in the wrong zipcode and juan just laughed at me and a person had to help me; she thought i was putting my credit card in incorrectly...haha. i said goodbye to da chubscrub and got off argyle. i always have a great time with juan and jia and julie whenever we hang. i know i can always leave our hangouts feeling a bit more understood and grounded. kevin was ubering to me so i went into pho 888 and ordered for us. we had to wait longer for our food because there was a large family dinner going on. then we ubered to ryan and terence’s apartment and ate our lunch there.

kevin rq’d his egg noodles and just ate toasted bread at the apartment. i managed to eat most of the che and my vermicelli noodles. sarah was deboning a chicken when we got there while ryan and terence were helping out. nluu was late, haha, but he got there eventually. we just chilled and then terence dropped off sarah at her apartment so she could get ready for her potluck and when he came back, we started playing with legos. we tried playing chromecast games but the connection was terrible. we also tried spyfall but the spy was clearly kevin ahahha. so instead, we wrote things on slips of paper for us to recreate with legos, mixed them up, and then picked from there. one person had to recreate it while the others guessed. lol tell me why i got trump, basketball player, and idk, kinda hard ones?! haha. ryan cried when i made the basketball player...”we don’t see color here.” LOL. 

when it was about 5 pm, we left and said goodbye to everyone. yeah, this visit was better than the last one... i hung out with almost everyone without stressing about seeing people. kevin and i dozed off in our uber back to my house. then we packed and i was grumpy because my family was kind of hovering about when to leave and kevin was feeling worse than before and he was kind of helping but not. sigh. packing to go back to boston is always stressful. well, we did it and stopped by my grandma and uncle’s house and he gave me my very late high school graduation gift LOL. i was grumpy because i napped in the car and had to wake up. my parents dropped us off, i said goodbye to them, and then kevin and i got in line for tsa. i told kevin that i was disappointed in his food choices (they were pretty terrible: sushi (my mom bought it), seafood egg noodle, and multigrain bread (i didn’t realize this until we got to the airport)) he could have eaten the congee in the fridge or zong zi... well, he told me not to be mad at him until tomorrow and i told him i was just worried.

our flight was delayed by like 20 minutes but when we got there, they started boarding everyone early? so i got to pee and then rushed back over. kevin got us mini water bottles before the flight so we could stay hydrated. i watched dateline, the cartoon channel, and shark tank on the flight. kevin slept and felt better after. we didn’t skimp out on the free snacks either. we got a total of like 5 bags of terra chips, 1 bag of pretzels, and 1 bag of skeeter’s chocolate chip cookies. i also got more water and ginger ale. i felt really tired prior to landing. i also needed to pee. we forgot food on the plane so we waited for people to get off and got it back, rushed to pee, and then took the bus and train home. i think it was 11 pm or 12 am when we got back. we unpacked and also ate a good amount of zong zi before sleeping at like 2 or 3 am? i’m not sure. i was so tired though. the two nights of 4 hours of sleep hit me right then.