#which was expected not like thats a Hot series to read

[kiddphel]

went to the comic shop for NORMAL NOT GAY REASONS and came away with comics i wasnt even expecting to find. im very normal abt this i swear. also bf took a pic of me when i wasnt paying attention. again im normal abt this

[whichcouldmeannothing]

big big marvey fic rec list

marvey is currently my most bookmarked ship, so trust me when i say i've been around the bend for marvey content. i have dug through a lot of it the past few months, so trust that these fics have been highly rated!

fics are loosely grouped, with the summary and my thoughts under the cut :3 no spoilers ofc bc i love you

MY PERSONAL FAVOURITES

A Specter-Ross Affair by @frivoloussuits (15k+, au)

“You ordered an ‘extra-hot, extra-wet cappuccino, single-origin, properly layered, to-go and ready five minutes ago to make up for your service speed or lack thereof.’” In which Mike is a barista, Rachel is a lawyer, and Harvey is paid excessive amounts of money to plan their joyous Christmas wedding.

"Love is just a particularly socially accepted form of fraud. It's a series of increasingly complex and fragile deceptions between two or more people, and, more alarmingly, between each participant and their own deluded subconscious."

i literally cannot recommend this fic enough. this might be my favourite read of the entire year, dead serious. this sounds fluffy but trust me, the pining and the angst go well like salt on a chocolate chip cookie: extremely decadent. everything about this fic goes insane and this should be your gateway drug into marvey, im so serious about this. READ IT. (weddingplanner!harvey)

of all the gin joints by @frivoloussuits (10k+, au)

Hanging around a neighborhood bar one night, Harvey befriends a guy named Mike after realizing they can both quote The Princess Bride on demand. In the law offices of Rand, Kaldor, Zane and Pearson, senior partner Harvey Specter takes on an unusual case, representing his managing partner's daughter as she divorces a Michael James Ross. Harvey sees no connection until it's far too late.

"They’re playing a virtuosic duet with inhuman ease, as if the intoxication has broken their boundaries and blurred them into a single entity."

this. obsessed with fics that really use the law in their plots, and this is a prime example. a lot of chemistry in this one that is described in a way that makes you jealous of the bond they share and there are still lines in this fic that i think about almost everyday but honestly, such a top-tier read. PLEASE PLEASE IF YOU LIKE SUFFERING ANF REALLY REALLY GOOD CHEMISTRY PLEASE

5U175 by Closer (26k, canon-adjacent)

Harvey sometimes moonlights as a Star Trek BNF. Mike might have an attitude problem on the internet. TiberiusGhost is strangely compelling, for a recluse who never goes to meetups, and Harvey's finding this kid Photohead vaguely familiar…

i know that the terminology in this one is hella old-school but trust me. as someone who doesnt read a lot of fandom fics, this fic has changed it all for me (also bc the author replied to my comment hehehe) stick with this fic because the way fandom weaves with the character development is absolutely delicious, i remember saying this in my og comment but this fic was written with love for fandom and you should definitely read it too!!! you'd absolutely love it! (also ben stans rise up ^^)

fics to sink your teeth into (20k+)

needs must by @melthemagpie (98k+, au)

When Grammy needs an upgrade in care, Mike knows that the usual one-off gig as a paid submissive won't be enough. He takes a job he's been refusing for a while - a long-term, full-time contract. He expects his client to be a sadistic asshole. He expects not to like it. He's wrong on both counts.

this is a fandom classic, every fic rec has this on the list (cw for dom/sub and prostitution, so if you're uncomfy please dont read) but i swear there are so many romantic moments in this one that make me swoon and the smut is very good, i usually tap out in long fics really quickly but this hooked me the whole way through twice. thats my ringing endorsement, READ THIS

Lobster and Other Catastrophes by @andthetardis (21k, canon-compliant)

After months of silence, Mike starts texting Harvey again out of the blue. Funny thing to do on his honeymoon, really.

BRO PLEASE. this was so good. angsty and pining-y enough even though it's mostly a text fic. text fics to me are more like comedic, but this one had substance and heart (and funny and enjoyable btw). pulls you in and really makes you want to stick it out and get to the beautiful ending <333 (harvey being soft is probably a category on its own :3)

The Game by @frivoloussuits (27k, hunger games au)

Harvey Specter and Donna Paulsen are efficient and elegant killers. They have trained since childhood, mentored personally by Jessica Pearson and marked for years as District 1's Tributes for the Hunger Games. Mike Ross is an orphan from District 12, a drug dealer, and an underage gambler. After years of scrutinizing the Hunger Games on TV to make savvy bets, he finds himself on the wrong side of the camera, now playing the odds just to survive. Harvey and Mike cannot, should not trust each other. Still, they strike a backroom deal.

"Because he’s clever and quick-thinking and he’s learned her main lesson well– don’t love anyone you wouldn’t be willing to see dead. Ideally, don’t love anyone at all."

I READ THIS WHEN I WAS REVISITING HUNGER GAMES AND OHHHHH THIS HAS THE ANGST. absolutely riveting. ths is the third fic im reccing from them bc i love frivoloussuits. i would die for them HHFSHFHKSDGDHFG i love the angst and the life-threatening situations that the hunger games provide and harvey as a career is correct. its just correct. everything here grips my soul

Disaster Stories by agatestones (22k, canon-compliant)

"Hold on," Mike asked, "you made Donna come into work in the middle of a blizzard?" "I don't make Donna do anything. Haven't you learned by now?" Harvey gave Mike a mean little smile, but under that was relief for anyone to see. "You, I can make come into the office in a blizzard."

reads like a novella to me, and it's really good!!! very episodic and you really feel like these are things that have happened in universe. its very slice of lifey and i reread it a lot as a comfort read, its like a big hug to me

Pizza and a Movie by Closer (30k+, au)

In an alternate universe, Harvey's still a lawyer but Mike's not a pot runner -- he's a deliveryman for Rollo's Pizza and Ribs, which happens to be Harvey's favorite pizza place. Once Harvey finds out his pizza guy is a genius, Mike's life takes a few turns he would not have expected...

i swear this is the most rom-commy fic marvey has to offer. i like aus that slap me in the face more with the alternate universe, but this is such a rom-com plot. fandom classic as well and it really reads like a hugh grant 90s movie and if thats not enough to pull you in idk what will tbh

Imprimatur by Closer (22k, au)

Mike was raised to believe Imprint was a life-changing event for those few lucky enough to experience it. Harvey was raised to believe it was a form of mental illness. When it actually happened, neither of them noticed.

this goes absolutely crazy. one of those fics where you read it and you almost want to throw your phone at the wall because the characters could make it so easy if they werent so stupid (but in a good way of course) but the way it was written, you feel the depth of the soulmate bond and why its so important (which a lot of soulmate aus forget to do loll) but goes down like an expensive and delicious dinner :)

afternoon reads (10k+)

Sony SRF-39FP by @frivoloussuits (11k+, canon-adjacent)

Anita Gibbs won’t settle for Mike, not when there are name partners within her reach. She offers only one deal– two years, no other charges against anyone else in the firm, as long as Harvey Specter turns himself in. And even as Donna and Jessica and Louis and Mike beg him not to, he jumps on the grenade. “Time to get busy living or get busy dying,” he remarks, and Mike gives a small chuckle. Then Harvey smirks, straightens his suit jacket, and strides into FCI Danbury.

“I can’t believe they’re trying to lock you in a box and forget about you,” Mike sighs as he leaves.

“Well, as long as you don’t forget me, I figure I’ll survive.”

“Maybe you haven’t noticed, but forgetting’s never been my strong suit.

cw for depersonalization and desc of solitary confinement, very very heavy but the way mike is there throughout everything makes my heart twinge. i really dont know how to describe this fic at all but its really good. it makes me cry a lot. also made me start listening to jazz which- uh

Here at the end of all things by @tattooedsiren (10k, au)

When he arrives at the Pearson Hardman building the lights are dimmed and the floor is deserted. His feet carry him to Harvey's office even though he expects it to be empty. Because Harvey probably fled the city via helicopter or teleporter or sheer force of will. But when he approaches the office he can see that Harvey is there. He has moved the couch so that it now faces the floor to ceiling windows and Mike silently sits beside Harvey, joins him in looking down at the chaos engulfing the city below. [Apocalypse AU]

I LOVE APOCALYPSE FICS UP UP UP badass!harvey makes me bark, but im a really big fan of people who find happiness in the worst circumstances and this fic does it so so so well. reminds me a lot of tlou episode like 2? the one with the strawberries. please this is what i revisit when i miss marvey and i dont have a lot of time because the world and the characters are jsut so delicious!!!

quick reads (1k+)

This Love is Silent by kim47 (8k, canon-compliant)

She should have known. She had known, that something was off, at least. She knew he was hiding something. She just never imagined it could be this. Despite Harvey's warnings, Mike tells Rachel the truth about everything. She's shocked, naturally, and more than a little angry, but she agrees to keep his secret, and even to date him. So when they break up, Harvey goes into damage-control mode.

RACHEL!! HELLO RACHEL!! im always up for smart and discerning rachel (this shows up in of all the gin joints too btw!!!) this runs realistic to me because it shows that rachelxmike arent some hopelessly wrong for each other couple, they have good and bad times. this feels more real to me than other fics bc its not like the world conspires for marvey to be apart, its just life. i know this makes it sound so sad, and it is, but trust me: this is really really really good i love this so much

an archive of harvey specter's expressions by @frivoloussuits (2k, canon-compliant)

Five old expressions that Mike rediscovers in new contexts once he and Harvey are (finally) together, and one that he sees for the first time. Alternatively titled “An Ode to Gabriel Macht’s Face.”

this was written for me. this is literally me. writing fic because gabriel macht is too pretty, like this fic is literally for me. a lot of peering at him to get this fic as masterfully written as it is, and i thank you author everyday for it. to me, this reads like it's been written with love and care and true adoration (Truly, like Mike)

Coffee-Cart Client Privilege by @frivoloussuits (7k, au)

Mike runs a coffee cart. The coffee cart.

"Why not? They're too big and dense to be a snack." So are you, Mike thinks, and yet.

IM SORRY I KEEP RECCING FRIVOLOUS SUITS THEYRE MY FAVOURITE WRITER IN THIS FANDOM HFBKABFDKHFBHKDSA this has the hand-wavy logic the show has itself but mike's internal monologue in this one is one of the best ive ever read and the way mike's integrated in the offices is just so well-done ahhhh

Objection by yeah its frivoloussuits again i feel bad tagging them like 7 times (2k, canon-adjacent)

When Mike announces he’s leaving, Harvey plans to hide the jagged pieces of his broken heart deep inside, where no one will ever find them. His heart would like to object.

BIGG fan of physical hurt/comfort!!!! also big fan of people absolutely freaking out in the hospital in fics, it makes me bounce of the wall!! very short but the angst and love really hits you quick and leaves you on the floor gasping for air. very good (also cant prove this but im very sure this is a scrubs reference.t hanks)

Excerpts From The Gospel of Harvey Specter, edited by Michael "Forever Awesome" Ross, 2011, 1st Ed, by @rcmclachlan (7k, canon compliant)

Mike can totally read people. Well, most people. Some people. Or maybe just Harvey, who's pretty much an open book.

this one's really funny! it doesent follow direct prose and instead plays a lot with the setting its in (where mike's a documenter of harvey) and its just so funny and adorable. has a lot of heart too, it isn't just crack or anything but you really feel everything mike does as he writes all this, read this!!1

One More Sleepless Night by @sal_si_puedes (9k, au)

Soul Bonds are one-sided – there’s usually mutual affection, but only one party feels the crippling need to be together as often as possible. If separated at length from their love, that party becomes crushed by longing, panic, and sheer hopelessness, and so it is illegal to forcibly keep Soulmates apart. Some days, Harvey Specter hates the Bond that skews his judgement and weakens his resolve, and he fears what would happen if anyone in his world ever discovers he is so compromised. He certainly never planned to disclose the Bond for the first time in the middle of Anita Gibbs’ office, in a last-ditch attempt to invalidate the deal sending Mike to prison.

HSDGFHSDKGHRLKGHK THIS FIC. i love fics that use more than just prose to tell their stories (see above fic) and this does my favourite thing that soulmate aus do, which is where they integrate in-universe explanations for the phenomenon. the amount of work and dedication put into this fic makes it absolutely sing and was absolutely lovely!!

also pspspsps

golden like the daffodils by @mini-mart (2k, canon-compliant)

Poetry holds meaning, for anyone who reads it. It obscures and dances around the literal and metaphorical, because it’s imbued with so much of something that it overflows out of any definition. It can make someone mad, or lovesick, or aroused, and the reactions would be absolutely warranted. Mike is poetry, to Harvey. - Harvey Specter could be a good politician, as he believes in pragmatism over poetry. He won't let his progress fall apart, won't let someone knock it down. And then someone unceremoniously cracks open a suitcase at his feet. Or: Harvey, pretty boys and poetry.

yeah yeah i wrote this yeah yeah self promo smth smth

there's a lot more that isn't here but i'll probably write a new one when i go for a deep dive through the ship tags again :3

^^ ao3 etiqutte applies! if you like the fic, kudos and comment and bookmark!! show your love! happy reading marveys! my gift to u :3

[thomase1]

Two broken make a whole; chapter 6

Series masterlist Main masterlist

Yup, back again.

Please be aware, this is the first smut i have ever written (yes its been in my drafts that long) and one can only do so much to save a catastrophe. :,) The foreplay is way too detailed for my taste, but somehow i just couldnt cut it. Lots of kissing omg, this rlly is kinda mid, sorry.

Warnings: Smut, masturbation, fingering, ¿loss of virginity?, probably some corruption, awkwardness, fluff, worried reader, tender Loki, big time jump

Wordcount:~4.300 of pure filth and brainless fluff (oops)

Or in other words: that escalated quickly

Its now been a little over 6 months the gods have been living here. While you enjoy Thor being here and notice Loki settle in as well, one thing becomes clearer with each passing day.

Loki is your kryptonite. You have never felt such a strong attraction to anybody. His constant flirting and teasing do not make it any easier.

Its like hes been pestering you on purpose after that unfortunate mission months ago. Everywhere you went, he just casually appeared or was already there. Hell, even the helipad wasnt safe.

And the cocky demeanour and ambiguous statements really have been takeing down your walls one brick at a time. Its quite embaressing how quickly one god can wreck the walls youve built up for as long as you can remember.

So now youre here, late at nigh, lying in bed after an eventful, tiring, day. But of course, you couldnt sleep.

You didn't mean to, but you thought of Loki. You've never had relations with somebody before, at least not that you remember of, which is problematic at your age and with your stress level.

Maybe thats why your body is reacting so ferociously to Loki. The thought of him is makeing you all tingly, you cant help but sigh in pent up sexual frustration.

You are engrossed in finding relief and relaxation, which doesn't always work for you. Actually never, yeah, you've never managed to climax before. Or maybe you just expected more of a feeling? You are not quite sure. But it defently isnt satisfying your need.

You concentrate on your movements, in your imagination you see Loki in front of you. You've seen him shirtless a few times, which worsened your interest even further. Damn why must he be a hot villain too.

Well, he is an ally now, yes, but he is still Loki Laufeyson.

You keep concentrating, attempting to avoid thining of him, trying to picture hot actors or just anybody but him.

Suddenly your dark room brightens with a green shimmer.

Loki appears and you quickly hide under your covers.

"I know you're awake Y/N," the intruder says. You don't answer and pretend to be asleep.

"I heard your rapid breathing as I passed your door. I know what I'm interrupting." he teases in a singsong voice.

Damn how embarrassing, your breath catches in your throat.

"Oh, don't be embarrassed. Unless you were thinking about me Y/N, of course that would be a rather peculiar situation, huh?" he purrs provocatively, his voice getting even closers.

He can read minds, you know that, but you didn't think he could do it without even seeing the person.

"Oh, so you're not even denying it. Interesting. There's quite a bit I can do that you don't know about, kitten.", he continues.

Goosebumps form all over you, leaving you to shiver under the covers. He's right next to your bed.

"So Y/N, are you in need of assistance?", you can hear the smirk in his voice.

You try to think of nothing which is near impossible when consciously trying. Especially in the middle of getting yourself off.

"I heard your thoughts before, about you finding it hard to get a high. I just want to help you."

"How long were you listenig you little shit?!", you snap, throwing the blanket off your face huffing.

"Long enough to know how desperate you are."

"Cant you just leave and forget about this, please?", you mumble ashamed.

"But where is the fun in that? Come on now, its a win for both of us. Promise I wont tell.", he sits down at the edge of your bed.

Should you just accept? As soon as that thought crosses your mind, you get nervous. Cheeks burning, hands sweaty and heart racing.

"Do you fancy me that much, getting nervous like this?", he asks grinning.

You dont know if you should punch him or fuck him right now. He is so infuriating.

"I dont fancy you! Its just my hormones going crazy ok? Dont flatter yourself!", you hiss. Why must he torture you like this?

"Yea sure it is.", he says sarcastically.

You dont respond.

"Oh come on Y/N, do you really think you can finally reach your high this time? Just take it as a favor."

He sounds so sincere all of a sudden, what the hell? Well, god of mischief and lies, aint he?

"A favor? Dont act like you dont just want an easy girl for a night, but i am anything but easy.", you scoff bitterly. If there is one thing your job taught you, its to be suspicious of everything and everyone.

He sighs, "No, I dont think of you as easy. I admit I havent engaged in sexual activities for quite some time either, but what of it? It would stay between us, we would both profit from it."

He really sounds thruthful and his tone is kind of... tender? And for a moment the though of just accepting the offer crosses your mind again. It sounds simple enough, but you just dont know if you can trust him.

"Listen, I am entirely truthful right now. What would I gain by bragging about having sex with you? I am no school boy seeking validation Y/N. I believe here on Midgard you say, 'A gentleman doesnt tell.'."

"Will you please stay out of my thoughts?!"

"I can do that.", he smirks.

It actually makes sense though, he isnt friends with the others, why would he tell them? "Ok Loki, just promise me again, this stays between the two of us.", you awkwardly reach out your hand to him, attempting to seal the deal by a handshake.

He, however, grabs your hand and places a gentle kiss on your knuckles, "I promise. I know the past has not been kind to you either, I wish no harm to you.".

This gesture throws you off completely, you are not used to such tender affection. Your worry about trusting him eases a bit, a smile crosses your lips.

But now when you think about it, what if only he gets a profit out of it? When you cant get it yourself, what makes him so sure he will? You already expect a response from the god, but it seems he is keeping his word.

"On another note, what makes you so sure you can even help me with my *you gulp* struggle?", you ask with shaky voice.

He gives a deep chuckle, "Because I've gained some experiece in over a thousand years of living. So, shall we start?".

"Uhh, yea I guess.", as those words leave your lips, he gently sinks his lips onto yours.

You are surprised for a second, but return the kiss after a few moments. Its been some time since you kissed or made out, but you get into it pretty quickly. He leans forwart to you, one hand on your cheek. The kiss is deep with passion, his tongue asking permission to explore. You grant him entrance and he begins his route of discovery.

You grab the back of his neck, pulling him down so he is closer to you. He nibbles at your bottom lip and you cant keep a gasp from escaping you. Your tongues start to dance with each other, fighting for dominance. As you break apart for air her stops for a moment.

You hear him takeing off his shoes and crawl into your bed, now hovering over you. You cant help but giggle, seeing his determined expression lit by only the little light to your right.

You expect a cocky comment but instead your lips meet again. The kiss now just as determined as Lokis expression. It sends a warm feeling through your stomach, down to your core.

You lay your hands on his shoulders, traveling down his firm muscular arms. His hands start to wander too, from your back, over your ribs down to your waist where they stay with a firm grip.

You suck at his bottom lip and he takes a surprised breath. You smile into the kiss which leads him to lay his hands on your bare bottom and give it a hard squeeze. You let out a small yelp of surprise. He gives you a low chuckle and trails his lips off yours, down your cheek to your ear.

His hand moving up to steady himself again, the other one stroking a strand of hair from the path of his lips, he kisses behind your ear and starts nibbling at your earlobe, feeling his warm breath. You are overwhelmed with these new sensations.

Your hands travel to his chest, down his sturdy stomach, sixpack apparent to the touch. Then you wander further to the hem of his shirt, under it and up his torso again. His skin is soft. As he is assaulting your neck, he stops, "Like what youre feeling?", voice full with pride.

"Not bad, I must admit.", you giggle to which he only smirks and takes off his shirt.

Instantly your eyes wander down his bare chest and stomach. Wow. Pure eyecandy. He goes back to kissing your ear, but now the other one. The way he lets you feel him up so extensively while only gently kissing you, it feels like he wants to show you he is no threat to you. Maybe you are just imagining that, but it does make you more comfortable with the god.

As he does just that, you feel around his sides to his broad back and shoulders. And for the first time, a man above you with strong muscles does not make you panic. No, its hot. It feels strangely safe. He starts to trail down your neck, pulling down your shirt collar to reach your collarbone. You let out a tiny moan, you didnt know you were so sensitive in that spot.

You can feel your middle getting, shamefully, damp.

Lokis hand reaches the bottom of your shirt, starting to pull it up a bit. You grab his hands, stopping his movement. "What is it?", he asks hoarsly.

You swallow, "I- I was just getting a bit nervous, sorry.", you say shy.

You have quite a lot of insecurities lurking under the fabric of your shirt, accompanied by many scars, ugly reminders of past battles. While you feel more comfortable with him not harming you, letting him see all of you is still terrifying.

"Dont apologize, I'm glad you told me about it but I am without my shirt too, its only fair!", he grins.

"But then I'm completely naked!", you protest. Honestly, you are just afraid he is going to say sometehing hurtful.

"I do apologize for breaking my word but I was curious. Come on dear, I am sure you look beautiful. You can trust me.", he says so sweet, you think honey may start to drip from his lips. You blush at the sweet remark.

"Ok, just dont tell me if I prove you wrong.", you say, removing your hands from his.

"Oh nonsense my dear, even I wouldnt stoop so low. Especially when it isnt true, you are stunning.", Loki says waiting for you to trust him it seems.

You smile softly at his words, cupping his face and kissing him, leaving him gasping for air. He deepens the kiss again as you feel him slowly pulling your shirt back up.

Bare before him, you can feel his eyes before you even see them and your heart begins to race. You feel so exposed and vulnerable under his gaze, starting to move your arm to cover yourself. "Gorgeous. Ravishing, as I told you darling.", he coos.

He starts feeling up your stomach, to your ribs, settling on your breasts. Your stomach explodes with butterflies as relief washes over you.

As you start feeling around his wall of torso again he starts kissing your collar bones and boobs. You play with his hair, you always wanted to, it just looks so nice and it is as soft as it looks, smelling like lilac and mint.

You start to fondle with his scalp and can feel his shoulders relaxing. He definitely likes that. He showers your whole body with kisses and is slowly moving south, his long hair tickling you down his path. You keep massaging his head as you grip his shoulder with your free hand.

To say it pretty clearly, you are horny as fuck right now.

He is trailing down your hip, slowly moving your covers away as he is kissing down your thigh, takeing his sweet time which is, quite frankly, driving you insane. In the best way possible. As he kisses more and more to the middle of your thighs, you cant help but grip his hair firmly and letting out a small moan.

You feel your sex getting hot and twitchy. His hands are moving towars your middle and you feel a finger sliding over your lips. "So wet for me kitten, you want me to make you feel good now?", he purrs from between your thighs.

You feel his breath fanning agains your skin giving you goosebumps all over. "Yes, oh god yes.", you plead, urgency obvious.

"Say please.", he taunts, finger still stracing up and down.

"Please Loki. Please.", you plead with even more urgency.

And then finally he does; tongue caressing your most sensitive spot, hands pushing your legs apart. Your grasping at his hair harder again as you cant hold back a moan. It feels incredible. You claw into the sheets but keep your other hand in his hair, frankly, you have no control over it right now.

You let out a breath of surprise as he sinks a finger into you and starts moving it, makeing you whine in pleasure. He reaches a spot which feels so good, its unlike anything you felt before. And you think he knows that you feel good, keeping his movement exactly on that sweet spot of yours. Its sending waves of pleasure up my stomach. You move your hips feeling so good, arching your back off the bed as he takes a second finger.

"You taste exquisite.", he purrs as he gets some air into him.

Just as you think of an answer to that, he starts again. He sucks at your bundle of nerves, pushing you to arch your back again. Your whole body feels hot with lust.

You just wish you could touch him too right now, this feels a bit selfish letting him pamper you like this while he gets next to nothing. Arent you surpossed to give him something in return? And then he stops all of a sudden which you comment with a sad face. "Stop overthinking dear, just enjoy it. I will take care of you first, I'll have my fun soon enough.", he assures you, obviously having listened to your thoughts again.

He shifts and kisses you gently. You can taste yourself which somehow turns you on even more. He starts moving his fingers, thumb now rubbing your clit. The kiss gets heated as you lay your arms around his neck, pulling him close. He moves his fingers faster and faster as you claw at his back out of pure arousal.

He sits up, moves his lips from yours and uses his second hand to stroke your clit now. You let out a moan, you think you are nearing a climax.

He moves faster and faster as you cant hold back little croaked mewls. He watches your face like his life depends on it, feeling Lokis clothed cock press into your thigh which turns you on even more.

You swear you are so near an orgasm, you no longer hold control over your body, hips pressing into your helpers hands looking for further friction. Your crys of arousal growing more and more, Loki starts cooing sweet encouragements at you.

"Thats it dear. Dont hold back."

"Come on kitten, come undone for me."

"Dont resist it. Let it all out darling."

Those sinful words spoken so sweetly tumble you over the edge. "Oh g-od, Loki, I think I'm gonna com-e", you say with a sharp cry.

"Thats it Darling, come for me. Give into it.", he supports.

Just like that you reach your high. You claw at the sheets, head jolting back as your body arches into his hand. "There it is. Beautiful.", you hear Loki from a distance.

You feel your whole body shiver. While still in the process of climaxing, Loki keeps moving his fingers inside of you. Your hips are moving on their own, rubbing against his hand. You feel your body quake as you hold onto him and he pulls you closer into a sloppy kiss.

Just as you relax and lean back, body done twitching, he pulls his fingers out of you. You lay down catching your breath and he lays down next to you. He snakes his arm under your back, pulling you into his chest. His hand hovers over you back, softly raking against it.

"Held my word, didnt I?", he whispers into your ear sending shivers down your spine again.

"You certenly did.", you mumble into his chest on which you are drawing circles with your fingertips.

He lays a hand on your cheek and lets it stay there. You close your eyes and enjoying a kind of relaxation and peace youve never felt before.

"Would you like us to go further today?", he asks while stroking your head.

"You know what, yes, I trust you.", you say turning to him with a smile.

He shifts so he can meet your lips. Its not a passionate kiss, it feels more... loving? No, that can't be it. You cant describe it but it makes your heart flutter for a moment.

"I just remembered, I dont have a condom and I dont have one in my room either.", he says, surpising you of beeing so responsible in his excitement.

Said excitement beeing very noticable, urgendly pressing into your side. The question of how he even knows about eartly forms of contraception is a question for another time, you think to yourself.

"Oh, its alright, I'm on the pill.", you say, which surprises him apparently.

"Why are you on the pill when you dont have a partner?", he asks suspicious.

"Ive gotten it because of my acne and symptoms of my period.", you explain kind of hurt he is so suspicious of you.

"Very well then.", he says and gets up.

You sit up too, blanket clutched over your chest. "You think its gonna hurt?", you ask the question every girl has.

"What do you mean? I wont hurt you dear.", he says dubfounded.

"Oh, so you didnt hear that part. Well-", you stop, so embarassed you wish to vanish from earth.

"Are you trying to tell me you actually never slept with someone?", he asks soft but also curious.

"It just never- got to that. At least not to my knowledge, if you remeber the mystery about my name.", you mumble bashful.

"Right, sorry darling, that is fine.", he says softly, "I dont think it will hurt, at least not badly since you already had the pleasure.".

You smile dumbly, your mind racing back to other, filthier, thoughts. Hot breath makeing your mind foggy as tongues collide once again. He pulls you closer, so close you feel his cock nudge up at your stomach. You wander down to his waistband, wanting to feel him.

He smirks and snaps his fingers, suddenly naked in front of your very eyes. Well, you cant exactly see but defently feel his excitement. Your hands basically wander on their own, touching his hips and sliding to his sex, leaving him gasping as you stroke him once.

He lays his head on your shoulder and lets his fingers meet you most sensitive spot again, giving him a appreciative moan. You keep your fingers around his throbbing cock, pleasing him as you like. He lets out a tiny moan which makes you quite proud of yourself.

You sink your head back into your shoulders, enjoying his skilled touch. You quicken your movement, makeing him stop for a second to catch himself, it appears like. That may be because you are not stopping with the teasing. You enjoy seeing him off his high horse. His tense face is a nice sight as well. "Y/N- should we takes this further now?", he groans.

"What do you think we are working towards?", you taunt with a giggle.

He looks into your eyes a little more seriously, "I am asking your consent, kitten-".

You only mouth an "oh". You stop your motions, makeing him relax against you slightly.

"Am I right to take that as a yes?"

You nod, biting your lip.

"Oh my sweet, you dont even know how crazy you drive me. I will make you write in extacy.", he whispers against your shoulder, pressing himself against you. You barely hold back an audible gasp, instead sinking your hands down his back, "And you dont even know what kinds of sensations you bring me.".

"Oh I think I do." He slides down your sloulder, feeling him spreading sloppy kisses all over your cleavage, you grip his hair thightly as he moves his hips to meet yours. You feel him throbbing against your wetness.

"Ready darling?", he asks attentively, lightly pressing against you.

"I think so.", you say anxiously.

He leans forwart and gives you a chaste kiss, swallowing your lips as he sinks into you slowly. The kiss breaks from the vulgar sounds now echoing off the walls. You grimace a bit because it does feel a bit weird, but after a few seconds you get used to the feeling. He stays still for you to adjust, his jaw flexing in concentration.

That jaw... Oh lord that jaw.

"It doesnt hurt. I dont know if thats good or bad.", you whisper against his lips.

The question you had for years starts to resurface. Scenes that picture your own personal horror movie start to plague your imagination.

"Dont overthink it too much sweetheart, just enjoy the moment.", he soothes.

You exhale, calming your mind down from the scary szenarios almost takeing over. You are here, you are safe, nothing you dont want will happen.

"Are you alright?", he watches you and cups your cheek. He looks concerned. You lean into his touch, finding comfort in his caring demeanour.

"I think I am.", you whisper, looking at him, his eyes.

"Is it ok if we continue then? Excuse my blunt choice of words but it is rather difficult to withhold me fucking you into this matress right now.", he says calm, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Insatiable bastard. You shut him up with a kiss, figuring that counts as an answer. He smirks and starts lightly thrusting his hips. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

Gradually, his speed increases and now, every time he reaches that one spot deep within you, you get pushed up the mattrass a bit more. By now you are pressed against the headboard. "Where do you think your going?", he asks, gripping your hips and yanking you down to him again with one firm pull, "I'm not done with you yet.".

You whine as he pounds into you ruthlessly, bis tip barely off that spot before he crashes into it again. Your toes curl and your fingers grip a fist full of his hair as he cups the back of your head, pressing you into his chest.

The room is filled with the sounds of sex.

You feel yourself nearing a climax, heatwaves coursing through your body. "I- think I'm... cl- close-", you croak hoarsly.

"Me too darling.", he growls.

You pull him down by grabbing his neck, wanting more of him. You press yourself into him as much as you can, earning a low groan as reward.

"Come for me Y/N! Say my name as you come for me!", he commands, thumb harshky stroking your clit.

You scratch at his back...nearing... nearing... "I'm gonna co-", you whimper.

Your back arches and your body errupts into a shudder as every muscle of your body goes rigid. Only croaked crys of pleasure are able to leave your throat.

"S-ay my name Y/N, gods let me h-ear yo-u-", he groans, about to climax too.

"Lok-i, oh g-od, fuck.", you let out with a cry as him still trusting into you prolongues your high. With a low, beast like, growl he thrust into you hard one last time, feeling him spill into you.

He pulls out and falls next to you. The thick smell of sweat in the air is somehow really comforting to you. You nestle against his chest and he sneaks an arm around you. You come down from what you just did together, his quickened heartbeat just under your ear.

About to fall asleep on him, he suddenly moves and sits up. "What are you doing?", you ask, kind of sad the cuddles ended so soon.

"I saw you were falling asleep so I figured I'd leave now and let you rest.", he explains softly.

You hate to admit it, but something inside you doesnt want to be alone right now.

"Could you maybe stay? If not an inconvenience of course.", you ask shy.

"Of course dear.", he says with an understanding nod, smiling warmly. Loki slips back into bed, taking you into his arms once more. You pull the covers over you two and soon drift off to sleep.

Tbmaw: @fictive-sl0th @vbecker10 @fictional-hooman @mischief2sarawr @maple-seed @mochie85 @holdmytesseract @theaudacitytowrite @gigglingtiggerv2 @marygoddessofmischief @goblingirlsarah @oceandeepthirst @lokisgoodgirl @fallenlostarchives @kalinaselennespeaks @sid-prescottx @assemblingavenger @loki-n-hvitserk @crzyplantladyvibes @yoongissidebitchh @cakesandtom

Everything: @slytherclaw1227 @their-love

@vickie5446 @buttercupcookies-blog @peaches1958

If you would like to be added or removed from tags, just let me know. :)

[loveshotzz]

Eddie Munson x Fem! Reader

Summary: Your first day at Family Video goes better then expected and when Eddie invites you on a late night drive you can’t say no.

Series Masterlist

Word count: 4.6k

Warnings: Still pretty SFW. Two idiots being vulnerable and flirting. TW : mentions of sexual assault in the past (no details just alluded to).

I won’t need a community label just yet for this series but I will soon so if you haven’t changed your settings please make sure you do. I had one of my fics flagged today.

Authors Note: This is the biggest story concept I’ve ever tried doing so thank you to everyone who’s been reading so far. I’ve never taken on a story with so many characters and moving parts so comments, feedback, likes, and reblogs are all greatly appreciated. A special thank you to my wife @myobmaya and @sweetsweetjellybean for reading my rough drafts and helping me get out of my head.

Tag list: @emotionaldreamer @eddiesprincess86 @bimbobaggins69 @rach5ive @luckyysstarr @h-ness1944 @stolen-in-moonlight @bohemianrhapsody86 @maximizedrhythms @ms1oftheboys @b-irock @amethyst1258 @princesseddie @munsonology

Despite Eddie promising that the two of you would be inseparable you didn’t see him again after that. Even going as far as peaking out your window hoping to catch a glimpse of that wild mane of his shamelessly trying to orchestrate an ‘accidental’ run in. Convincing yourself it was because you were bored not because you wanted to see his dimples again. His van never seemed to be there between normal working hours, of course he must’ve had a full time job he was 20.

So when Friday rolled around and your Chevy Nova pulled into the parking lot of your new job with a loud squeal, you were ready for some solid human interaction. Reaching over to pop open your glovebox, your eyes lock with the rolled joint courtesy of Eddie’s Munson’s free weed. After work joints were a favorite past time of yours deciding tonight would be a good time to continue the tradition.

Your driver door opens with it’s usual loud creak, the cringe on your face never going away no matter how many times it happens. Wiping your sweaty nervous palms on the dark denim of your jeans, the converse on your feet bring you to the entrance.

Bells chime loudly when you walk in, standing in the front you glance around the store thats filled wall to wall with any kind of movie any one in this small town could ever want. There’s a faint smell of popcorn which you find odd considering it wasn’t an actual movie theater, with American Werewolf in London playing quietly in the background you don’t think you’ll hate it here. Racking your brain you desperately try to remember the name of the guy you were suppose to be asking for. The magic of being surrounded by movies finally fading with reality kicking in. You knew it started with an ‘S’ was it Stan? Stu?

“Is there some kind of beauty pageant in Hawkins I wasn’t aware of Robin?” The smooth voice of the boy resting on the counter in front of you catches your attention. He’s got the kind of hair a model would kill for and a smile that’s worth a million bucks. Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, your smart enough to catch the green family video vest wrapped around his broad shoulders.

The striped polo underneath it definitely does the boy favors, with pants so tight they are almost enough to make your cheeks turn hot. Eye’s flickering down you catch the ‘Steve’ on his name tag. Holding back an internal groan you remember exactly who you were suppose to ask for.

“Steve Harrington?”

The smile on his face only widens with a flirtatious twinkle in his eyes as he pushes himself off the counter “And she knows my name already, this must be my lucky day.”

The girl he referred to as Robin catches on before he does, with a loud laugh her honey colored waves bounce as she throws her head back.

“Way to hit on the new girl dingus.”

Steve’s cheeks flush deep red when he realizes his mistake, hazel eyes going wide when they meet yours drowning with embarrassment.

“Oh man, this is awkward. Look that was super inappropriate. I’m so sorry, please don’t quit.” The confident demeanor he was putting on suddenly gone, leaving nothing but a nervous rambling boy in his place.

“Do you always hit on the customers?” Cocking a brow you cross your arms over your chest, the corner of your lips turning up. Just like Eddie you were enjoying watching him squirm. Something about humiliating boys bringing you joy, especially cocky boys like Steve Harrington.

“No-“

“Absolutely he does, you’ll get used to it.” The girl behind the counter cuts him off before making her way around. Her tuxedo top, rolled up to her elbows makes her look like an 80’s dream. With a black tie wrapped tightly around the neck of her button up tucked into her high waisted slacks she’s the epitome of cool even with the green vest.

“I’m Robin by the way.” Extending her hand she gives you a sweet smile showing her perfect white teeth.

“I’m y/n.” Wrapping your hand around hers, you glance back at Steve. “I’ll forgive you just this once, but only because it clearly hasn’t been working for you.”

Robin’s laugh echos again when she drops your hand, pinching the bridge of his nose Steve makes his way passed both of you going back behind the counter mumbling under his breath about grabbing you a vest.

“Look, if this is going to be a new dynamic here. The kind where you two gang up on me, I’m not going to be okay with that.” He doesn’t look at either one of you while he’s talking, rummaging through the drawers underneath the registers until he finds a slightly used looking vest.

“Aww calm down Stevie, we’re just having fun. It’s not like I haven’t made fun of your poor attempts at picking up unsuspecting women at work before.” Robin grins eating up Steve’s irritation.

The day is spent watching cheesy training videos in the small back room that looks like it hadn’t been cleaned in years, both of them taking turns checking in on you. When you make it on the sales floor after a few hours of mindless torture you realize Robin was right. Not only did you get used to Steve’s over the top pick up lines, but against your better judgment you couldn’t help but find yourself entertained by the relentless-ness of his determination. Watching Steve get turned down more times then you could count you were shocked at how fast your first day went. Laughing and falling into easy banter with the two of them, there was a small part of you that wasn’t ready for your shift to end.

—-

The night air has a sharp chill to it when the three of you close up, looking up at the clear sky you still couldn’t get over how many stars you could see out here. Losing yourself for a second it’s only when Robin grabs the back of your arm you remember where you are.

“Everything good?” Her eyes are soft on you.

“Oh- um yeah. We just didn’t have stars like this in the city. It’s beautiful out here.” Giving her a reassuring smile Steve snorts at your words.

“Hawkins? Beautiful? You absolutely just moved here.” Shrugging on his grey jacket he tosses his keys in the air before catching them with a wink.

“You love to show off don’t you?” Teasing Steve was becoming one of your favorite things. You couldn’t help but feel excited about the prospect of making friends with the two of them. Your new mysterious one missing in action.

“No need to show off sweetheart, I’m just that good.” Steve’s cockiness makes Robin give him a hard shove as the three of you make your way to your cars.

“A Chevy Nova? Niiiiice.” Steve heckles with a grin when he sees your car parked adjacent to his. Yours rusted and old, his shiny and new.

“Not all of us can drive BMW’s Steve.” Rolling your eyes, your fingers dig through your purse for your keys.

“Last I checked she actually has her own place. Aren’t you two the same age?” Robin smirks opening the passenger side door of Steve’s car.

Of course he was taking Robin home, the closeness of the two obvious best friends makes your heart swell with a mixture of admiration and jealousy.

“Yeah, yeah keep it up or you’re walking home.” Opening the driver side Steve leans forward arms resting over the door and the roof. “All jokes aside I’m glad Keith didn’t hire someone lame. Remember Tammy Thompson?” Looking towards his friend she makes an exaggerated show of rolling her eyes nodding her head.

“You did great!” Robin gives you a double thumbs up enthusiastically. The gesture making a small smile spread over your face.

You mimic Steve’s stance on your own car “Yeah, I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I was going too. Even if Steve did hit on me when I first walked in.”

Robin throws her head back loving having someone else who’s not charmed by his slick tongue and pseudo confidence.

“Look can we just forget that happened okay?” Pinching the bridge of his nose for the millionth time that day, you were figuring out this was a signature stance.

“Never, I’m never going to let you forget it Harrington.” Throwing him a wink you give Robin a small wave before getting into your car. Eager hands already reaching for what you’d been looking forward to all day.

Steve’s headlights flood the inside of your dark car, when he doesn’t make any moves to pull out it takes you a minute to realize that he’s waiting for you to leave first. He was making sure you were safe.

Maybe the city had hardened your heart but you weren’t used to strangers having your best interests in mind like this. The simple gesture is enough to make your chest tighten.

—

With the windows rolled down the bitter night air feels good running through your hair. Inhaling deeply you blow the smoke out into the darkness of the back roads, Bat Out of Hell playing so loud it makes your speakers shake. Your mind can’t help but wander to Eddie, the nickname Wayne gave him few nights prior seemed nothing short of fitting. The thought of the two men makes your lips twitch up despite your best efforts. The fleeting beginnings of happiness settling deep in your chest as your tires speed down the pavement, doing the unthinkable you let yourself feel it.

The hope you had felt after you met your new neighbors grows ten fold when you think about your first day with Steve and Robin. The new feeling of excitement radiates through your finger tips as they tap against the steering wheel. Singing loudly and off tune, you finally let yourself take the breath you had been holding onto for the past few years. You finally made the right choice, the first time in your whole life.

Hitting the entrance of the trailer park, you turn the music down not wanting to be on the receiving end of Wayne’s annoyance. When your headlights hit their trailer the boy you’d been trying to catch a glimpse of the past few days is right in front of you. A group of kids who couldn’t be any older then 15 surround him, with arms flailing animatedly all of them seemed to be getting into some kind of heated argument. Brows furrowing, you notice all of their matching baseball tee’s. Hellfire Club.

By the time you pull into your drive way you’ve caught Eddie’s attention. Chocolate eyes on you, the dimples you definitely weren’t thinking about show themselves when his lips pull up into a smile. Ignoring the arguing boys in front of him, he shoves passed them making long strides towards your car as you start getting out.

“There’s my new best friend!” Arms spread wide his smile only grows bigger showing his teeth.

His loud outburst makes the kids stop fighting, one with particularly curly hair covered in a baseball cap quirks his head at you.

“Who’s that?” His voice has a slight lisp to it and you can’t help but think it’s cute. The one he spoke to had long black hair that looked eerily similar to the metal head’s that was walking towards you.

“I didn’t know he knew any girls.” The only one without a Hellfire shirt speaks up, wearing the same letterman jacket as the guys from the other night piecing together that they must be in high school. The three boys watch both of you with curious eyes.

“Well, well if it isn’t Mr. disturb the peace himself.” A teasing smirk pulls at the corner of your lips. Crossing your arms over your chest you lean back against your car, the heat of the drive keeping the metal and your body warm.

“I’ll have you know, I don’t resent that title at all.” The wink he gives you makes your stomach flutter and you do your best to ignore it.

The smile on Eddie’s face only widens when he reaches you, standing in front of him makes you realize just how tall he actually is. Craning your neck up to meet his doe eyes, you can’t help but match his excited energy. Your own cheeks hurting from how hard he was making you grin.

“Care to tell me why your hanging out with children on a Friday night? And also why you’re all in matching shirts?”

“Why? You jealous? You want one?” Rocking back on his heels he clasps his hands behind his head making his shirt ride up, your proud of the self control you maintain when your eyes don’t flicker down.

“As metal looking as they are, I have no idea what Hellfire club is. Is it that satanic cult you were trying to get me to join the other night?” Arching your brow with a teasing smirk it was far too easy to slip in your usual banter with him.

Glancing over his shoulder you see the kids are watching you with baited breath.

“That’s a hefty invite to get, I don’t think we’re there yet. It’s the DND club I run.” You can’t help but take notice in the prideful look in his eyes when he says it.

“Don’t tell me that the Eddie Munson is a Dungeon Master. ” Batting your eyelashes at him you play into his ego just a little bit.

When his cheeks flush pink your own ego grows slightly.

“Yes M’lady you are in the presence greatness. I’m not just any Dungeon Master, I’m the Dungeon Master sweetheart. Just ask those destroyed little sheep over there.” Turning around he points at the three boys who quickly try to act like they weren’t opening staring at whatever was unfolding right in front of them.

Giving them a little wave you chuckle to yourself at how awkward they get before clambering into Eddie’s van arguing in hushed voices.

“Are you their baby sitter or something?” Eddie’s eyes widen at your question when he turns back to you.

“Uhh not exactly.” Fidgeting with his rings he stops making eye contact, the ground suddenly becoming interesting.

“What do you-“

“What are you doing right now?” Eddie cuts you off before you can press further bringing his attention back to you, excitement dancing in his brown pools like he just got a brilliant idea.

“Like right now, right now?” Pushing yourself off the car you look down at your watch. Red numbers reading 9:45pm flash back at you.

“Well not right this second but like 40 minutes from now? I just got to take these little idiots home but after that I gotta make some runs. I could use a co pilot...” Raising his eyebrows at you he watches the wheels in your head turn. “Besides I know my Uncle offered up my tour guide services free of charge to you.”

“You’re gonna give me a tour in the middle of the night?” Giving him a hard time, you already know you’re going to say yes.

“That’s the perfect time, all the assholes are inside.” Flashing you a toothy grin he starts backwards towards his van. “Be outside in 30.”

“You just said 40!” The butterflies can’t be ignored this time at the thought of spending the entire evening with him.

“I drive fast, bring whatever music you want. I’ll even let you set the mood that’s how nice I am.” Throwing a wink your way he turns around jogging the rest of the way to his van. The curly haired boy’s head sticks out the driver side window, a knowing smirk spread wide over his face.

“Oh okay buddy, I see you.” His eyes squint when his cheeks push up, a look of pure joy.

“Can it Henderson, get in your seat.” You can’t help but laugh at Eddie’s sharp tone with the kid, the sweet sound makes him turn his head one last time flashing you a quick smile before jumping in.

Starting his van with a loud rumble, you watch him peel out with Metallica back at the volume that got him flicked between the eyes. Completely ignoring his Uncle’s warning, something tells you it won’t be the last time you see that argument happen.

—-

“Are you seriously going to make me listen to Meatloaf?” Eddie scoffs grabbing the cassette from your hand.

“First of all you said I could pick the music, and I told you the other night that I loved him. Specifically mentioned Meatloaf while addressing your question about Metallica.” Crossing your arms your staring up at him again only this time next to the passenger door of his van.

Rolling his eyes his wiggles the tape in his hand “Yeah, yeah, yeah I guess I did say that.”

“I could just go have the relaxing night alone I had planned if you’d rather not listen to my music choice.” Arching your brow you pretend not to be hyper aware of his reaction.

“Whoa, whoa whoa sweetheart, lets not get crazy here.” Opening the door for you it creaks loudly just like yours. Eddie’s face turning into your familiar cringe.

The warmth of his calloused hand makes you jump when it comes in contact with your skin. Fingers wrapping gently around yours he helps you take the giant step into his van. Heat prickling at your cheeks too shy to meet his eyes you climb into the passenger seat. When he lets go and shuts the door you pretend like you don’t miss the feeling of his touch.

The smell of cigarettes and weed hit your nose first, there’s an underlining hint of drug store cologne that lingers faintly behind it. It was Eddie’s smell trapped and encapsulated inside the metal confines of his van. Inhaling deeply it’s oddly comforting to you, closing your eyes you let yourself enjoy it before he’s opening the drivers side door. Still not ready to meet his gaze you begin snooping around. Turning around in your seat you can’t stop grin that spreads over your face. With the back seats removed the empty space was filled with giant blankets and fluffy pillows. Warn in and well loved you could already picture him lounged out with a joint dangling from his lips lost in his music thats always being played too loud.

“Admiring my office?” You don’t realize how close his face is to yours till you turn around ready to respond.

Eddie Munson’s giant brown eyes are only inches from yours and it’s almost enough to make you forget how to breath for a second. The self control you were so proud to have doesn’t exist in the close quarters of his van, eyes dropping down to his lips it’s hard for you to look away. When his tongue licks over his bottom lip, you realize he’s doing the same thing.

“You call this an office?” Snorting your the one that breaks the tension. The breath he’d been holding fans hot across your cheeks. “This looks like Cheech and Chongs hang out spot.”

“I am a pot dealer if you don’t remember?” Shaking his head with grin he finally pulls out of your personal space. “Besides it weirdly makes the first time buyers comfortable, gotta keep them coming back sweetheart.”

Turning the key in the ignition the van shakes with the start of the engine, settling into your seat you reach over clicking your seat belt into place ignoring the feeling of Eddie’s burning stare.

“Yes?” Meeting his eyes you try to read the expression on his face.

“I’m just going to give you the agenda for the evening, you know as a good tour guide should.”Raising his eye brows he waits for you to nod encouraging him to continue.

“First, we’re gonna drive to my buddy Rick’s house so I can pick up some new supply. Then there’s just a few people I gotta drop off too, it’ll be super quick.” He waves his hand as he continues like the boring stuff was done. “But after that, I thought I could show you some of my favorite smoking spots. Places I like to go to clear my head.”

“I don’t know Munson, sounds like you’re trying to get me high in the back of your van.” corners of your eyes wrinkling you can’t seem to get enough of giving him a hard time. Others would call it flirting, but that’s not what you’re telling yourself this is.

“What? Me? You’re the perv that suggested it. I never said anything about going to the back of the van.” Eyes lighting up he nudges your shoulder with his own before putting the van in drive. “Put on your dad rock and light this joint, so far you’re a lousy co-pilot I have to say.”

You can’t stop that laugh from bubbling out of your chest, throwing your head back you haven’t felt this carefree around a person in awhile. There’s a part of you that wants to fight it but just like in your car on the way home, you’re going to let yourself feel it even if just for tonight.

——

The ride to Rick’s house was shorter then you thought it would be, but still long enough for you and Eddie to kill your first joint. With finger tips grazing each time you passed it back and fourth, your touches become more and more prominent as your inhibitions lower. Stolen glances lingering longer then they should, laughing probably a little too hard at each other’s bad jokes. The pure bliss of it all consuming you. So when you pulled up to the house that sat right at the edge of the lake, you were embarrassed of how much of you didn’t want him to leave even if it was just going to be for a few minutes.

“He’s super weird about people he doesn’t know, I’ll just be like five minutes I swear.” Leaving his keys in the ignition he gives your knee a reassuring squeeze. Rings hitting the lights on the dashboard the glint catching your eye when he pulls away.

“Putting a lot of trust in me not to steal you van.” You tease desperate to get him to stay even just for a few moments longer.

“Look, I know where you live okay? You wouldn’t get very far.” Eddie’s grinning from ear to ear when he hops out.

The smile never leaves your face when the wild haired boy runs up to the front door of the house. Taking advantage of being alone you start to really look around the inside of his van, empty packs of Marlboro Reds are littered all over the floors, there’s a half drank big gulp sitting in his cup holder, some kind of red liquid mixed with old ash from a mixture of cigarettes and joints. A guitar pick that’s similar to the one that hangs around his neck dangles from the rearview mirror. His dashboard is covered in band stickers, ranging from Iron Maiden to Wasp it was collage of all of his favorites. Running your fingers over the edges of each one you can tell they were strategically placed with the utmost care. This was Eddie’s safe space, and here he was inviting you to join him in it.

True to his word, he’s only gone for a few minutes before the loud creak of his door brings you out of your thoughts, clambering in with his toothy grin still intact.

“One stop down, two more to go.” Reaching over he puts the brown paper sack at your feet fingers brushing against your leg when he sits back up. Cheeks tingling when they linger for just a second.

There’s a brief moment of comfortable silence that falls between the two of you on your drive to his next destination. Eyeing his pack of cigarettes that sit on top of his radio you decide to be bold and help yourself. Besides, it was his fault you smoked your last one anyway.

Without missing a beat Eddie starts digging through his jean pockets for a lighter. Handing it over to you with a wink clearly not caring about your sticky fingers.

“Gimmie one too?” His eyes are soft when they look at you. Fishing out the two smokes you plop one in your mouth before reaching over waiting for him to grab his from your palm. Lighting your cigarette you look over confused when he never takes his own. His grip never leaving the steering wheel, he leans across the console with an open mouth. It takes you a minute to realize what Eddie want you to do. Unwilling to meet his gaze, with your best poker face on you slot it between his full lips. Ignoring the way they feel when they brush across your finger tips as they close around the butt. Shaky hands light his cigarette. The flame dances across his face in the darkness of the van casting shadows along his cheek bones and jawline.

Eddie Munson was handsome.

Inhaling deeply hollowing out his cheeks his eyes flicker between the road and you. Exhaling through your nose you focus on ignoring the way he’s staring at you until it’s obvious he wants your attention.

“I’m starting to realize you have a real staring problem.” You tease deciding that the only way you’ll keep your composure is by giving him a hard time.

Ignoring your remark he takes another drag of his cigarette before rolling his window down to ash.

“So what’s your damage?” It’s a loaded question when it leaves his mouth, even he knows that.

“Well you just jump straight to the point huh?” Averting your gaze you busy yourself with another hit ignoring the way you palms start to sweat at the thought of sharing with him. Too scared that once he finds out he’ll decide it’s too much.

“Come on, you’re 21 and you live on your own. You left the city to move to Hawkins of all places, there’s a reason for that.” Inhaling the last of his cigarette he flicks it out the window before rolling it back up. “Look, you tell me yours I’ll tell you mine?”

You don’t know if it’s the weed or if it’s the boy next to you, maybe even a combination of both that lets the well crafted wall you had built crumble just a little. Taking another hard drag you let the smoke sit in your lungs, the nicotine giving your brain the fuzzy feeling you were craving.

You exhale loudly before finally sharing something you’d kept close to you for so long.

“Things happened back home - consent wasn’t something that was respected at a shitty high school party. It’s been a few years but you know, it’s almost like you can’t ever fully come back from something like that. ” Refusing to meet his eyes you suck your bottom lip between your teeth nervously, despite your better judgment you keep going. Maybe it was the way he was actually listening.

“Somehow my genetics sparred me from being an alcoholic but my parents weren’t so lucky. It was all so much that I felt like I couldn’t think. Like I couldn’t breathe. I guess I just needed to get away from it all.”

Taking the last drag of your cigarette you finally let yourself glance in his direction. His face is set in a hard line, eyes staring daggers at the road, the whites of his knuckles show with the intensity of his grip on the steering wheel. Anger radiating off of him, you could practically see the smoke coming out of his ears.

Unclenching his jaw he finally responds to you. “I’m not their baby sitter.”

“What?” Voice laced with confusion you have no idea why the conversation is even taking this turn but your thankful that he doesn’t press you any further.

“The kids, I’m uhh I’m not their babysitter. I’m still in high school. You’re looking at Hawkins High’s very own super senior two years in the running.” Eddie pauses for a minute before he continues “You know with a Dad that’s in jail and a mom that died before I had the chance to really remember her what else would you expect from someone like me?” His tone is self deprecating, fingers twitching in your lap all you want to do is reach out and take his.

“Well, I didn’t stay long enough to graduate if that makes you feel any better. I dropped out, got my GED, packed whatever I could in my shitty car and drove to one of the smallest towns I could find. If anything, I’m impressed you still have the will power to go back.”

Eddie almost can’t believe the words that come out of your mouth. With not a single trace of judgment on your face, you were accepting him like he wasn’t the giant fuck up he always thought he was. Like the whole town thought he was and on occasion his Uncle. He can feel his emotions get caught in his throat. He doesn’t know why you picked Hawkins or how you even stumbled upon his shitty little trailer park, but he was thanking whatever gods brought you to him determined to get closer to you.

“Yeah?” He hates that he needs you to say it again.

“Absolutely, high school fucking sucks.” Stretching in your seat you look at him with an easy smile.

Neither one of you push each other further, having shared enough for a lifetime between the two of you in just a few short minutes. The heaviness of the secrets you both kept become a little lighter on your shoulders.

—

By the time you reach Eddie’s last stop you’re three joints deep when he leaves you in the van again. The sound of Paradise by the Dashboard light spills out of his speakers, turning the volume up you can’t help but get lost in it, this had always been one of your favorite songs growing up. Despite the complicated lyrics it reminded you of happier times. Trying your best to be Ellen Foley you don’t even realize Eddie’s walking back up.

“Jesus- you know it’s like 1am right? I could hear Meatloaf from Byer’s front door.” The annoyance disappears off his face when he sees you dancing like a stoned lunatic in his passenger seat.

Completely unaware of his presence, your arms flail around so uncoordinated he thinks you have to be trying to move like this, eyes pinched closed you’re belting out every line completely off key. There’s a part of him that wishes there was some way to record this to use it against you in future arguments and another part of him that wants it for himself, because the sight of you like this makes his heart skip a beat.

“STOP RIGHT THE- oh fuck!”

Eddie’s got a Cheshire smile when he watches the embarrassment of being caught sink onto your face.

“You done?” Biting his bottom lip hard enough to leave a mark, the corners of his mouth twitch up and you can tell he’s desperately trying to hold back a laugh.

“Oh my god, this is -fuck -this is embarrassing.” Reaching forward you go to lower the volume but Eddie slaps your hand away.

“No, no, please don’t stop on my or the neighborhood’s behalf. Keep going.” Nodding his head for you to continue his smile grows so much the corners of his eyes crease. With a roll of yours, you go for the knob again.

“Ha ha ha, very funny Munson that’s en- hey!” Another tap to your hand he bats you away again, sighing loudly you look up at him annoyed. “Eddie, what are you doing?”

Both of you stare at each other silently battling for dominance. Raising an eye brow at you he has no plans of backing down from this.

Let me sleep on it. (Will you love me forever?) Let me sleep on it. (Will love me forever?)

Eddie’s theatrics makes you jump and it takes you a minute to realize what he’s doing, it’s only when you hear how badly he’s singing that you realize he’s doing his best impression of Meatloaf’s voice. His dramatic flare has him jumping all around the empty street, gripping at his chest as he points at you.

“Eddie!!” Your hushed yell is broken by the cackle that bubbles from your chest, taking advantage of the fact that he wasn’t in the van anymore, you’re finally able to bring the music down to a normal volume.

“Hey! I was clearly in the middle of giving you the performance of a life time. Not. fucking. cool.” Pointing at you from the other side of the street he pretends to glare but the smile that pulls across his face ruins his performance.

“Get in the car before someone calls the cops, they might think someone was killing their cat out in the street.” Your grin is menacing when you wait for him to realize the insult hidden in your words.

“Last I checked, you’re the one who chose tonight’s music. Not my fault if I get a little carried away, if anything you should be happy.” Winking as he climbs back in, there’s a new kind of electricity in the air between you two.

A line you both crossed with out even trying tonight, it was just too easy to be yourselves around each other. So used to having to be ashamed of your short comings you both openly accepted them with out a second thought. The muscles in your face turning sore from the constant pull in his presence. You already know that you’ll wonder if tonight was a dream when you wake up in the morning.

“It was definitely a performance. A performance of a life time though? Jury’s still out on that.” The sound of Eddie’s laugh fills you with the kind of happiness that you thought you wouldn’t ever feel again. You wish there was a way you could save it.

“That’s fine, I have plenty more where that came from sweetheart.” The nickname sounds different this time. Less casual.

When your eyes dart to the clock on his dashboard your heart sinks a little. Despite not wanting the night to end the thought of having to wake up for work in the morning hangs over you like a giant rain cloud ready to ruin the birthday party. You wanted to live in this little bubble forever.

Eddie’s eyes follow yours to the clock and he knows exactly how you feel because he feels it too.

“Probably time we reel it in huh?” Chuckling awkwardly he waits for you to answer before he starts the engine. Part of him hoping you’ll just throw caution to the wind and want to keep the night going somehow.

“Yeah, unfortunately I started a job today, well I mean technically yesterday.” You knew you were rambling but the way his eyes kept darting towards your lips was making you lose your train of thought.

“She’s got bills to pay! No need to explain pretty girl, there’s always next time.” Eddie tries to keep it simple. Scared to come off too strong, he needed you to know he wanted this to happen again.

Biting your lip at the new endearment, you settle back in your seat too shy to meet his eyes. The low rumble of the engine brings you both back to reality as his van lurches forward.

“Thanks for tonight Eddie.” Your voice comes out quieter than you intend it to, clearing your throat you speak up a little louder. “This was more fun then I’ve had in awhile, so thank you.”

“What are best friends for?” Eddie wants to kick himself in the teeth when the words leave his mouth.

But when your hand reaches for his, small fingers slotting between his big ones it’s almost like you saw the internal battle written all over his face.

“Yeah, best friends.” You agree with a hum.

It’s a good place to start.

Chapter three

[katkafe]

HELLO, IVE JUST FINISHED WATCHING WEDNESDAY

because i am the biggest dumbest nerd when it comes to the addams family: ive made a crappy list of why wednesday is everything i hoped for and more and why it is absolutely fucking perfect. spoilers.

im not entirely sure on how to start slow with this one so im getting right fucking into it. enjoy reading the disaster of my thoughts on this masterpiece:

AMAZING CASTING. jenna is incredible as wednesday, catherine and luiz are the perfect morticia and gomez, i adored seeing christina ricci KICKING ASS. gwendoline christie was amazing as weems, fred armisen as fester???? lost my shit he was so perfect. i don’t think there was a single cast member i wasn’t amazed with.

no genuinely i loved all of the nevermore students

fell in love w enid so fast omg i was rooting for her so hard her arc was so awesome (her and ajax are so cute too)

rip rowan you would’ve loved wenclair

THING!!!: its not the addams family without thing, and its especially not the addams family if thing isn’t being a little shit stirrer the whole time. perfect beautiful i love him A++ 

THE WEDNESDAY/PUGSLEY DYNAMIC WAS SO ON POINT they literally have the actual best sibling dynamic

i now know that you have not lived until you’ve seen wednesday addams stuck in a love triangle. she is not a character that you would expect to have a romantic interest but now in my mind she’s just beautifully a-spec and probably demiromantic. yes obviously i love xavier.

don’t get mad at me but i don’t ship her w enid that much?? at least not romantically but hey i would not complain if we had a polycule or qpr!!!

also it was genuinely so cute to see wednesday making friends like. why was i sobbing so much when she hugged enid. holy fuck.

THE DANCE SCENE. SHES AN ICON SHES A LEGEND AND SHE IS THE MOMENT

i am referring to both her actual dancing and ofc “they couldn’t even spring for real pigs blood. its only paint.” so real.

cant even stop myself from mentioning that jenna ortega looks very hot covered in blood which happens a lot in this series. like almost every episode. jesus fucking christ i am so in love with her.

i am a huge edgar allen poe nerd so i fucking adored every little reference to his works. also the idea that he was an outcast is so real to me.

speaking of outcasts: ngl definitely could’ve come up with a better name, “outcasts” just made it sound weirdly like some awkward teen high school drama but you get used to it

wednesday’s visions were so cool??? i loved the whole goody addams thing their interactions were really cool and god i just was not expecting that at all.

ok tbh it was really weird that her name was goody, since “goody” is the puritan equivalent of “mrs.” (its short for goodwife) so idk why they did that but ok i’m still here for it

honestly in general they do a really good job of keeping you guessing. i was suspicious about almost every single character throughout the whole series. 

in retrospect i should’ve known tyler was gonna be an asshole from the start cause. i mean. his name is tyler. no offense to my tylers, but be real when have you ever seen a tv show character named tyler that wasn’t a douche. i’ll wait.

i’ve typed tyler too many times and it no longer looks like a real name

episodes are nice and long but i obviously wish the series was longer, but it was super bingable and i’m probably gonna rewatch it 3 million times until the next season inevitably comes out.

not to be dorky but i loved how every episode title was a pun w the word “woe” 

i have really horrible media literacy in the sense that i overthink EVERYTHING so to me like almost everything in that was beautifully executed symbolism and maybe it was but when i say i lost my shit when i noticed wednesday stand on enid’s side of the room and fsr thats the only example i can think of rn BUT STILL

overall 5 stars 10/10 show i cant wait for more i love the plot i love the characters i love the cast i will be recommending it to everyone ik and more

[pizza-hats-of-the-world-1882]

character bingo! OBVIOUSLY raoul but also. humour me. aramis <3

ough! my lil guy!!!!<3

since my mom is reading vdb ive been occasionally reviewing parts of it and wow, i forgot how often people are like "look at that hot guy (o゜▽゜)o☆" ab raoul. pretty boy extraordinaire

if you dont like him youre wrong

i do like his tragic arc but i want more. MORE I SAY! INFINITE RAOUL!

my art tag speaks for itself

ditto

what can i say theres something so wrong with him. i get it tho. hes so galahad coded

if he suddenly goes to the top of my blorbo rotation it means im really going through it.

as much as i love return of the musketeers his characterization did lack a certain je ne sais crois. also WHAT is going on in the bbl movies?????

if you title the book "le vicomte de bragelonne",,, i will be expecting to spend more time with,, yknow, THE VICOMTE DE BRAGELONNE!!!!!!!

free space! i think his highest stat would be constitution. not emotionally tho

hes like a chew toy to me<3

ive gained a higher understanding of him. we've mindmelded

like i said: galahad coded. but i think he should kill more people

aramis time!

ive come to the conclusion that dumas has a strong sense for character design. naughty catboy

he is not trustworthy lol

maybe its because i wasnt raised catholic like most of you apparently but i dont read that much into him. he likes his friends and he likes power and he'll follow those pursuits ruthlessly

they either dont make him slutty enough or dont make him catholic enough. or in bbc's unfortunate case neither.

specifically he doesnt get a lot of interactions w raoul which sucks bc thats one of his uncles and i love seeing r with d'art and porthos let him hang out w aramis!! thats literaly his mom's ex lol

he is like a small animal to me

free space: we're just never gonna elaborate on him having a kid w mme de longueville huh

i just think he's a funny lil scheming boy

he certainly seems less evil when around his friends lol. also this the power of friendship books series they are all best in the les inseperables dynamic. do NOT separables them

not really but i do think its funny to rag on him. five foot lil slut

[bookwyrminspiration]

hi dira im abt to propaganda SO hard. okay so aftg!!! full series name is all for the game and its a teilogy the first book is named the foxhole court. its such a silly silly series you go into it expecting ??? and you come out of it Forever Changed this is not just me being dramatic ask ANY fan and they will agree. its the kinda series you finish and you feel like youre fucking high like you imagined everything like it was all a fucking pipe dream (thats a reference. which you would get. if you read the books. that sounds mildly threatening im sorry but anyways yes read the books!!) no but seriously it may not be the BEST literature ever published but the characters latch onto you the brainworms never cease!! somewhat similar to kotlc!! sure every character is a bit of an asshole but you love them anyways esp as the books go on and you learn a little bit more abt them and get a little bit more attached <3 some of the plot twists hit like a TRUCK you read it and you think no way would this actually happen which!! yeah!! it would not actually happen!! its so crazy and fun and if you like the first book then youll never escape the trap. also yes ik i havent said anything abt like the actual BOOK yet but in my defense a lot of this is just pure FEELING and if nothing else my enthusiasm better convince SOMEONE to read aftg. but anyways the actual book ohhh idk how to describe it its like mafia/sports/found family??? i dont know i think i described it somewhat better in my pinned post (more propaganda. everyone go read my pinned post and then read aftg) okay i think im done now!!!!

hi averyy I am not immune to propaganda, I've actually casually looked for the series before just because you've put it on my dash enough I was like right wots all this then? In order to read it I'll have to check out the ebook from my library (not my preferred way to read but its okay), but it's on my list don't you worry. I have other things to read through first but it is, in fact, on my tbr. Because of you.

You're right this really has told me like nothing about what the book is actually about, just that you really love it and lose your mind over it, but that's okay because that's enough <3. I think it's about a fake sport, and one of the main characters smokes a lot (but in a hot way that makes him sexier...?), but that's about as much as I could tell you. Oh they're the foxes. Are there lesbians? I feel like there's been mention of a mean lesbian, or maybe just a sapphic in general but I'm not at all confident in that.

Anyway, thanks for the propaganda I'll read it :) eventually

[diamondsandlemons]

Hi sorry for being the least normal person on the planet about this but I saw you rbing some The Locked Tomb stuff and it's only been like a week or two since I got extremely into the series and it's nice to see someone I follow also show interest in it around the same-ish time as me! Can I ask abt your take on the books so far n fav character/s?

well I've only read the first book (I'm definitely interested in continuing with the series but I probably won't get to it for a while, esp. since I wanna get back into playing Ace Attorney games, as playing a visual novel kinda takes up the same time slot in my day as reading a novel, yk?) so there's def stuff I don't know abt yet.

but anyway yeah! I did really enjoy it. I appreciate the comedy in it, which I wasn't really expecting since like the cover art is so grim and it opens with some really dense politics stuff and a bunch of long names (that I just know should be pronounced with a british accent but I can't really make my head voice do that) and like the actual plot is very serious with deaths and stuff but nonetheless This Book Has Jokes

and its best when they're the dumbest, simplest jokes you could think of and Gideon says them out loud because thats the kind character she is. love her

Palamedes is great too because he entertains Gideon's antics while also being the one most focused on solving the mystery castle puzzles. (this girl who's been here for like a month and has never spoken a word to anyone is talking to me now? and she's rude? thats fine I'll just roll with it). he's also like the most normal dude in the whole cast. you feel comfortable when he's around

(btw what the hell was up with the thing he discovered about the rooms in Canaan House being from different time periods? like the different rooms are literally different ages? I don't think that was ever explained or brought up again???)

Also, for "lesbian fiction" being basically the one thing everyone says about this series, I was kinda surprised at the lack of a romantic plot in this one? I mean maybe there will be more of that in the other books idk, but like. ok so from the beginning it's very clear that Gideon and Harrow are gonna be the main pair here. and I was a little skeptical they were gonna be able to sell me on that because of where their relationship started, but nahhh I had nothing to worry about. they were meant for each other and enemies to lovers works great it turns out. but like. their relationship definitely improves a lot over the course of the story, but most of the time they don't talk to each other about anything but their jobs. its all bones and skeletons and locked doors with them.

don't get me wrong it has strong gay vibes all the way through (and Gideon is constantly commenting on how hot other women are, which is great) but at no point are Harrow and Gideon actually like. dating. closest they got was when I think it was implied they fucked once, after the pool scene. which like, good for them, I'm glad they got the opportunity to do that before, ah, y'know.

speaking of which I have NO clue what'll happen next based on how it ended. and the brief glimpse of the emperor at the very end was not at all what I expected, so that's curious as well...

OH yeah and speaking of the empire. uh at least the copy of the book that I have has a bunch of bonus material at the end, like in-universe essays and reports (and a pronunciation guide where I frustratingly learned I'd been reading half the characters' names wrong). and ONLY in that bonus material was it ever acknowledged that other inhabited planets exist outside of the empire. like for the whole book it kinda seems like there are nine planets that comprise the empire, and that's it. no humans anywhere else in the universe. no life outside the empire.

sure, the Cohort supposedly fights "enemies of the empire" but that's all that's ever said about that. could be like evil skeletons or some other kind of space monster for all we know. but no there ARE other civilizations, which I guess might be at war with the necromancers? it's cool to know that, that this story's universe is bigger than we've seen, and if I had to guess I'd say bigger than we probably ever will see, since there's still so many ghost/death mysteries and House history stuff our beloved necros have yet to solve.

ok thats probably everything I have to say about Gideon the Ninth for now. thanks for giving me an opportunity to put it all into words, lol

[baeddel]

Please. Please can you tell me what a baeddel is and why people (terfs?) used it in a derogatory manner on this website for a hot minute but now no one ever uses it at all

you asked for it, fucker

[2k words; philology and drama]

baeddel is an Old English word. i have no idea where it actually occurs in the Old English written corpus, but it occurs in a few placenames. its diminuitive form, baedling, is much better documented. it appears in the (untranslated) Canons of Theodore, a penitential handbook, a sort of guidebook for priests offering advice on what penances should be recommended for which sins. in a passage devoted to sexual transgressions it gives the penances suggested for a man who sleeps with a woman, a man who sleeps with another man, and then a man who sleeps with a baedling. so you have this construction of a baedling as something other than a man or a woman. and then it gives the penance for a baedling who sleeps with another baedling (a ludicrous one-year fast). then, by way of an explaination, Theodore delivers us one of the most enigmatic phrases in the Old English corpus: "for she is soft, like an adulturess."

the -ling suffix in baedling is masculine. but Theodore uses feminine pronouns and suffixes to describe baedlings. as we said, it's also used separately from male and female. but it's also used separately from their words for intersex and it never appears in this context. all of this means that you have this word that denotes a subject who is, as Christopher Monk put it, "of problematic gender." interested historians have typically interpreted it as referring to some category of homosexual male, such as Wayne R. Dines in his two-volume Encyclopedia of Homosexuality who discusses it in the context of an Old English glossary which works a bit like an Old English-Latin dictionary, giving Old English words and their Latin counterparts. the Latin words the Anglo-Saxon lexicographer chose to correspond with baedling were effeminatus and mollis, and Lang concludes that it refers to an "effeminate homosexual" (pg 60, Anglo Saxon). this same glossary gives as an Old English synonym the word waepenwifstere which literally means "woman with a penis," and which Dines gives the approximate translation (hold on tight) male wife.

R. D. Fulk, a philologist and medievalist, made a separate analysis of the term in his study on the Canons of Theodore 'Male Homoeroticism in the Old English Canons of Theodore', collected in Sex and Sexuality in Medieval England, 2004. he analysed it as a 'sexual category' (sexual as in sexuality), owing to the context of sexual transgressions in the Canons. he decides that it refers to a man who bottoms in sexual relationships with another man. i don't have the article on hand so i'm not sure what his reasoning was, but this seems obviously inadequate given what we know from the glossary described by Dines. Latin has a word for bottom, pathica, and the lexicographer did not use this in their translation, preferring words that emphasized the baedling's femininity like effeminatus, and doesn't address the sexual context at all. Dines, however, only reading this glossary, seems to decide that it refers to a type of male homosexual too hastily, considering the Canons explicitly treat them separately. both Dines and Fulk immediately reduce the baedling to a subcategory of homosexual when neither of the sources to hand actually do so themselves.

by now it should be obvious why, seven or so years ago, we interpreted it as an equivalent to trans woman. I mean come on - a woman with a penis! these days I tend to add a bit of a caution to this understanding, which is that trans woman is the translation of baedling which seems most adequate to us, just as baedling was the translation of effeminatus that seemed most adequate to our lexicographer. but the term cannot translate perfectly; its sense was derived from some minimal context; a legal context, a doctrinal context, and so forth... the way Anglo-Saxons understood sex/gender is complicated but it has been argued that they had a 'one sex model' and didn't regard men and women as biologically separate types, which is obviously quite different from the sexual model accepted today; in any case they didn't have access to the karyotype and so on. the basic categories they used to understand gender and sexuality were different from ours. in particular, Hirschfield et al. should be understood as a particularly revolutionary moment in the genealogy of transsexuality; the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft essentially invented the concept of the 'sex change', the 'transition', conceived as a biological passage from one sex to the other. even in other contexts where (forgive me) #girlslikeus changed their bodies in some way, like the castration of the priestesses of Cybele, or those belonging to the various historical societies which we believe used premarin for feminization [disputed; see this post], there is no record that they were ever considered men at any stage or had some kind of male biology that preceded their 'gender identity.' the concept of the trans woman requires the minimal context of the coercive assignment at birth and its subsequent (civil and bio-technological) rejection. i have never encountered evidence that this has ever been true in any previous society. nonetheless, these societies still had gendered relations, and essentially wherever we find these gendered relations we also find some subject which is omitted or for whom it has been necessary to note exceptions. what is of chief interest to us is not so much that there was such a subject here or there in history (and whatever propagandistic uses this fact might have), but understanding why these regularities exist.

a very parsimonious explanation is that gender is a biological reality, and there is some particular biological subject which a whole host of words have been conjured to denote. if this were the case then we would expect that, no matter what gender/sexual system we encounter in a given society, it will inevitably find some linguistic expression. if, like me, you find this idea revolting, then you should busy yourself trying to come up with an alternative explanation which is not just plausible, but more plausible. my best guesses are outside the scope of this answer...

anyway, all of this must be very interesting to the five or six people invested in the confluence of philology and gender studies. but why on earth did it become so widely used, in so many strange and unusual contexts, in the 2010s? we're very sorry, but yes, it's our fault. you see apart from all of this, there is also a little piece of information which goes along with the word baeddel, which is that it's the root of the Modern English word bad. by way of, no less, the word baedan, 'to defile'. how this defiled historical subject came to bear responsibility for everything bad to English-speakers doesn't seem to be known from linguistic evidence. however, it makes for a very pithy little remark on transmisogyny. my dear friend [REDACTED] made a playful little post making this point and, good Lord, had we only known...

it went like this. its such a funny little idea that we all start changing our urls to include the word baeddel. in those days it was common to make puns with your url (we always did halloween and christmas ones); i was baeddelaire, a play on the French poet Baudelaire. while we all still had these urls a series of events which everyone would like to forget happened, and we became Enemies of Everyone in the Whole World. because of the url thing people started to call us "the baeddels." then there was "a cult" called "the baeddels" and so forth. this cult had various infamies attatched to it and a constellation of indefensible political positions. ultimately we faced a metric fucking shit ton of harassment, including, for some of my friends, really serious and bad irl harassment that had long-term bad awful consequences relating to stable housing and physical safety and i basically never want to talk about that part of my life ever again. and i never have to, because i've come to realize that for most people, when they use the word baeddel, they don't know about that stuff. it doesn't mean that anymore.

so what does it mean? you'll see it in a few contexts. TERFs do use it, as you guessed. i am not quite sure what they really mean by it and how it differs from other TERF barbs. i think being a baeddel invovles being politically active or at least having a political consciousness, but in a way thats distinct from just any 'TRA' or trans activist. so perhaps 'militant' trans women, but perhaps also just any trans woman with any opinions at all. how this was transmitted from tumblr/west coast tranny drama to TERF vocabulary i have no idea. but you will also find - or, could have found a few years ago - i would say 'copycat' groups who didn't know us or what we believed but heard the rumours, and established their own (generously) organizations (usually facebook groups) dedicated to putting those principles into practice. they considered themselves trans lesbian separatists and did things like doxx and harass trans women who dated cafabs. if you don't know about this, yes, there really were such groups. they mostly collapsed and disappeared because they were evildoers who based their ideology on a caricature. i knew a black trans woman who was treated very badly by one of these groups, for predictable reasons. so long-time readers: if you see people talking about their bad experiences with 'baeddels', you can't necessarily relate it to the 2014 context and assume they're carrying around old baggage. there are other dreams in the nightmare.

the most common way you'll see it today, in my experience, is in this form: people will say that it was a "slur" for trans women. they might bring up that it's the root of the word bad, and they might even think that you shouldn't use the word bad because of it, or that you shouldn't use the word baeddel because it's a slur. all of this is a silly game of internet telephone and not worth addressing. except to say that it's by no means clear that baeddel, or baedling, were slurs, or even insulting at all. while Theodore doesn't provide us with a description of how we can have sex with a baedling without sinning, and it may be the case that any sexual relations with a baedling was considered sinful, sexuality-based transgressions were not taken all that seriously in those days. there was a period where homosexuality within the Church was almost sanctioned, and it wasn't until much later that homosexuality became so harshly proscribed, to the extent that it was thought to represent a threat to society, etc. and as i mentioned, there are places in England named after baedlings. there is a little parish near Kent which is called Badlesmere, Baeddel's Lake, which was recorded in the Anglo-Saxon Domesday Book (as having a lord, a handful of villagers and a few slaves; perhaps only one or two households). it's not unheard of, but i just don't know very many places called Faggot Town or some such. it's possible that baedlings had some role in Anglo-Saxon society which we are not aware of; it could even have been a prestigious one, as it was in other societies. there is just no evidence other than a couple of passing references in the literature and we'll probably never have a complete picture.

[prettysweetprettysweet]

hii sorry i'm new here and don't know anything, why are you saying we probably won't get a s2 of kinnporsche? i only saw few things, but they sounded like it'll happen. just trying to manage my expectations 🥲

hello @kerasines! don't worry, what i said was not based on anything official by any means, it is more based on 'vibes' i've been getting, having been tuned in from the first episode.

the things that are of the greatest concern are:

the period of very heated tension mid-season between the original novel writers and the production company, and some perceived animosity between the writers and certain members of the cast. a lot of it was due to fans bringing attention to videos in which one half of the writing duo sexually harrassed multiple members of the cast and even cast members calling her out on it, on video. at this time Pond had said something like 'we may have done all we can with the source material'?? (don't quote me on that) and contractually they can't go forward with a season 2 without the writers' endorsement and involvement. however they now seem to be on good enough terms because the writers were at the Bangkok concerts? who knows!

the loudest and most active fans online are overwhelmingly entitled, demanding, aggressive, and detached, and harangue the production company (Be On Cloud) with the wildest opinions, conspiracy theories, and general noise. in person, large groups of fans have swarmed the cast both at work events and in their personal time, and there have been multiple instances of fans tailing cast members/trying to follow them home and other terrifying intrusive behaviors (why hasn't BOC hired bodyguards yet?), leading Be On Cloud to issue multiple warnings to fans. this is definitely a 'me' thing, but if i was in any of the actors' shoes i don't think i could handle another year of that and would probably tap out.

it seems like some entity was trying dig into all the cast members' social media histories to find controversial content. some truly upsetting things were found, apologies were made, you know how it goes. but it left a lot of fans hurt and unhappy.

i am very dubious about the financial wellbeing of Be On Cloud on its own. Even with their many many sponsorships, the production quality standards are sky high and I don't see how they could possibly have made enough of a profit off the show by itself to keep going. My theory is that they introduced the world tour as a way to generate income, and the fate of a season 2 might rest on how successful it is. I also have a theory that a lot of the recent big spends for the company have come straight out of Mile's pocket, who doesn't seem to have any qualms about personally funding the company and keeping it alive so that he can keep doing the stuff he wants to do and making the stuff he wants to make (you know, gay stuff).

the way BOC just announced that they're having 'global auditions' for the new Be On Cloud project - "Join us and become one of the cast members for our upcoming series together with other Be On Cloud’s actors." The wording to me sounds like its not KPS2 that they're casting for, and the vibe is sort of like…'hey we're moving on.'

a lot of the actors posted social media messages after the finale that read like goodbyes to their characters. I got the impression that they are all operating like this is the end.

there are some things that give me hope, though!

there is absolutely no doubt that IQIYI is begging for a second season. It pretty much stayed at #1 for its entire run and continues to chart high even after the finale. every business that BOC collaborated with for the series like Farmhouse all saw huge returns on their investments (that Farmhouse bread was sold out everywhere for a hot minute)

social media engagement was through the roof and only increased as the series went on. i'm sure BOC knows that if they go forward with a S2, it will produce exceptional viewership again, so thats one uncertainty that they can eliminate from the equation. they have an audience that desperately wants more.

when it comes to merchandise, ticket sales, and events, they have literally always sold out. any magazine that features any of the BOC actors always have enormous runs to meet higher-than-average demand.

if we're lucky, maybe Mile will say fuck it and fund a whole 'nother season

okay thats it also disclaimer i won't be sourcing any of this. source: just trust my vibe analysis

[yoobikook]

MUST READ BTS FANFICTION SERIES ON TUMBLR

Updates are regular, please see original post

CAROUSEL by @yoonia

Yoongi X Reader

Genre | Angst, Smut/Mature scenes, Arranged Marriage! AU, Heirs! AU, CEO!Yoongi, Suspense

Summary | He is the successor of his family’s business empire, and you are the female heir of yours. After the trouble his older brother had created in the past, he now must face certain requirements needed for the sake of the family’s future and to save his rights of inheritance, and you become his only way out. Everything might seem so simple, just the way they are supposed to. But everything isn’t always what it seems, is it

I WON'T STOP YOU by @imsarabum

Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, Fantasy, Angst, Smut

Summary; You drive to your boss‘s house with the intention of returning his wallet he left at the office. You feel uneasy, seeing his manor for the first time - Jungkook also feels uneasy, but for reasons that you could never begin to imagine.

BAD FOR YOU by @yoonia

Jungkook x reader

Genre | Stripper!au, Stripper!Jungkook, Smut, Angst

Summary | His whole presence emits sin and danger, and you are not supposed to be attracted to him on the first glance.

STRIP by @yoonia

Jimin x reader (spin-off to Bad For You)

Genre | Stripper!au, Stripper!Jimin, Bartender!reader, Single parent!au, Smut, Angst, Mature theme

Summary | Everything you have done has always been about surviving life and raising your child on your own. Having someone else caring about you was the last thing you had expected. Especially when that someone is the same man you have watched performing every night on stage and secretly admired. But will he run the moment he finds out about your little secret waiting at home?

THE BIRD CAGE by @untaemedqueen

Jimin X Reader

Genre | Mafia AU, Blood, Guns, Knives, Smut, Smoking (Cigarettes), Excessive Cursing, Drinking, Character death

Summary | Due to debts, the OC falls into servitude and starts working as a maid at Jimin's mansion. Her actions and grace catch Jimin's eyes and he couldn't help but want more of her. The OC is basically a badass and works her way up into the mafia and proves herself worthy. Her interactions with the other members, her attempts to protect her loved ones and keeping the mafia together makes this story a wonderful ride! Also the wonderful display of Jimin's duality as a Mafia leader and a father is the cherry on top. The story is intense, thrilling , romantic and emotional . Highly recommended <3

ALSO READ THE SEQUEL TO TBC AND THE RELATED JUNGKOOK DRABBLE

BOYS LIKE HIM, GIRLS LIKE HER by @hayjeon

Jungkook X Reader

Genre | badboy!jk, jock!au, lots of fluff, slight smut, tiny bit angst

Summary | Bad boys are bad, they said. And they don’t deserve girls like you, they said. But all you wanted to do was give Jeon Jungkook a chance.

YOU SET MY HEART ON FIRE by @hayjeon

Namjoon X Reader

Genre | fireman!namjoon and paramedic!y/n au , drunken sex, oral, etc.

Summary | As a cardio surgeon forced to volunteer as a paramedic in the Seoul Fire Department during your probation, your one and only goal was to get to work, do your thing, and get the hell home and back to your original high-salary job. But when the Chief of the SFD is the incredibly attractive, tall, and persistent bachelor that you had the best one night stand with weeks ago, things kind of get heated.

RATTLED by @gukslut

Jungkook X Reader

Genre | Single dad AU, Angst, Healing, E2L, F2L, Smut

Summary | The story is about how Jungkook ends up with a baby due to his carelessness, his struggles for his daughter, his suffering and how the reader helps him in more than one way & how he falls for the reader. The best single dad au out there, seriously. This will get tears in your eyes .

DEEP SIX by @bratkook

Jungkook X Reader

Genre | smut, light angst, infidelity, dirty talk, unprotected sex (don’t do this), oral (f receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, creampie, cum eating, pussy slapping, choking, spanking, and really sweet loving biker gang jungkook.

Summary | The two part series is about the reader who is the girlfriend of the leader of the rival biker group of deep six, who is fed up of her abusive relationship. Jungkook ,a member of deep six, and the reader fall for each other, and plan a revengeful escapade. Well written and I think the best biker au out there!

PALATE CLEANSER by @btsmakesmehappy

Taehyung X Reader

Genre | Agent!Taehyung x Baker!reader , Angst, Fluff, Smut, FWB, S2L

Summary | Taehyung needs something to take his mind off his broken heart. His best friend, Jimin, suggests that he should meet another woman and the first woman he met was you. Would you help him even though you have your own problem, that you hate men?

Part of The Company Series ,which is an amazing work altogether!

ANGEL IN THE DARKNESS by @icyhobi

Jungkook X Reader

Genre | Smut (M), angst, mafia!au, prostitution!au 

Summary | After a patient urgently pleads you to go and help a friend of his, you naively agree to it. Little did you know, that you would get more than what you agreed to, when he leads you to a brothel, to help a dangerous prostitute named Jeon Jungkook.

STRAWBERRY KISSES by @kimnjss

Jungkook X Reader (SM AU)

Genre | rapper!jeongguk x photographer!reader ; smut, fluff, the tiniest bit of angst

Summary | an online dating app pairs him with the perfect girl. the two quickly start falling for each other and when things are getting good, he finds out she’s his best friend’s little sister.

This one's my fav, but read any work by @kimnjss and you'll fall in love with her writing. All of them are so amazing 😍. I have probably read all of them,

BROWN EYED BABY by @jeonstudios

Jungkook X Reader (two shot)

Genre | single dad!jk x reader, exes to friends to lovers, smut, angst, fluff.

Summary | a lost child at the mall. eyes from a different time.

This will make you feel so warm.

KINDA HOT by @kimnjss

Taehyung X Reader [SM AU]

Genre | campus flirt!taehyung x sweet girl!reader ; best friends to lovers. college au. smut, fluff and the tiniest dash of angst.

Summary | you’ve always been cute, soft, tiny in taehyung’s eyes. but that’s changing one night when you’re accidentally sending him a naughty picture. forcing him to realize, maybe his best friend is kinda… hot?

I'm not sure if I can ever stop ranting about Kez's SMAUs but this one is out of this world...Tae and the reader figure out their feelings quite early, but the edging is 🥴...and I really like it when every member has a significant other, it just feels so warm...in short, please give this a shot!

MAFIA AU (COLLECTION) by @neonlights92

Individual member fanfics

Genre | Mafia AU, smut

Summary | This is the story of seven men. Seven dangerous men. These are the stories of how they fell in love.

The stories are so indulging and probably the best BTS Mafia Universe on Tumblr !

GREEDY by @xjoonchildx

Yoongi X Reader

Genre | Mafia AU, smut

Summary | being a loner has never bothered yoongi until now. until you.

This entire rapline trilogy is just...*chef's kiss*...but greedy is *double chef's kiss*😂.If you too love Mafia AUs like me, this one is a must read! My favourite part was the initial meetings of y/n and Yoongi and Yoongi's multiple fake identities. The story starts on such an interesting note that it's hard to stop reading 😉

TEASE by @adonis-koo

Jungkook X Reader

Genre | Strip club , gang involvement, angst, fluff, smut

Summary | You came in hopes of your best friend becoming a stripper- becoming one yourself was never a part of the plan

The story is so indulging. Tease jungkook will haunt your mind for days. The smut was also super hot!

INEVITABLE by @ahundredtimesover

Jungkook X Reader

Genre | exes au, parents au, baseball player!JK ; angst, fluff, smut

Summary | You convinced Jungkook to break up years ago so he could pursue his lifelong baseball dream. Now he’s back home, staring at you, and the little boy next to you who looks unmistakably like him.

ATHLETE DAD JK . yep thats the review . just go read it , the prettiest piece of writing on tumblr T-T

[bryceslahela]

Is drake garbage? Yes. But is he worse than Ramsay? Jake? All the other boring white men who I am thankfully forgetting right now? I need to know your official ranking of worst male lis. I need to.

ooooh ok im thinking rn of who is where…. ok so this is from worst to best. <33 ill put them under the cut.

connor. creep who hangs around high schools… why does he canonically have like no friends his age?

drake is second because ik we think hes a gold digging misogynist and he is those two things… at least mc is an appropriate age for him.

parker. bitch boy. hate his existence.

cassius. worst li in acor which isn’t honestly that bad as the others r all top tier.

ethan is lower bc oph 1 + half of oph2 r god-tier so his good series makes up for him being a freak.

chris from tf. so many issues and expected mc to deal with them like she was his therapist. its not my fault ur father never came back chris.

michael from hss shouldn’t be on this list at all. love him <333. so i’m putting wes here in his place. an insufferable creep who looked 45 when he should be 18. autumn has shit judgement who would pick him over julian????

thomas hunt. I HATE HIM.

simon from std. hate him purely bc everyone was putting his ass on a pedestal while dragging my mans justin. simon ur literally bland. the personification of the colour beige.

flynn from vos. gave me nightmares. also how u hate cops and then u become one???? where r ur morals man 😟

ugly bartending dude from roe. the one drake was based off of. he’s here bc thanks to him drake existed. he’s in hell rn.

jake from es. sean supremacy <33 hated him bc i always took sean’s side on everything. also i hated the weird lil nickname he gave mc like i don’t like u??? we not that close bro 😟

dom from tc&tf. boring sorry. also ugly but he’s not annoying ig. thats why he’s low.

ernest sinclaire. remember nothing abt him which is a good sign. he’s slightly ugly tho but he’s british it’s not his fault x

sawyer. cute?? i didn’t finish bsc. no issues with him. hate his dad tho.

elliot from ptr. forgettable. didn’t do anything bad besides be british which is why he’s here.

that white dude from bachelorette party. reed? boring but rich. no issues with him ig. i read it more so for the female friendships.

the guy from wishful thinking. audrey? cute. also forgettable. was nothing next to anna and jaime.

male avery from platinum. also british but sweet. so he’s low.

nate from sunkissed was acc so cute. i romanced him and he was so sweet, a lil cringy but i can deal.

nathan from tf. idc i love him <33 rich white bitch of a man but he acknowledges that and he also almost rid the world of tyler aka the most annoying side character in tf.

beckett. annoying in te2 but cute in te1… i love him srry 🤣 also teh book cover vers of him ATE.

grayson from hero. soo sweet but he was the victim to the sexy kenji and the sexier eva. how was he meant to thrive with such hot competition…. 💔

MARK FROM LOVEHACKS CAN DO NOOO WRONG <333333 LOVE U MARK FROM LOVEHACKS TEXT ME <3333

[squiiids]

Gut Punch (A game accurate way, and an actually decent way)

"It's supposed to mean "a punch made of innards", but the name actually described what you feel while drinking it."

So this drink was a pain in the ass to make. It's easy enough to throw together some stuff that feels like a fist making contact with your gut, especially when you're working with high proof stuff. I coulda just mixed some straight rye, 151 proof rum, and a glug of absinthe just to make you really hate yourself, but the problem with that lies in the name and flavor text of the drink. It's a punch. There's a series of rules on what to put in it, and what sort of flavor you should be looking for. So, I took the basis of every punch, the classic 17th century recipe in the form of a poem (one part sour, two parts sweet, three parts strong, four parts weak) improvised up a few less traditional ingredients, rebalanced until it tasted right and came up with the following:

Gut Punch as Game Accurate as I Could Manage

1/2 oz lemon juice

1 oz Gut Stock* (recipe under the cut)

1.5 oz Rye Whiskey

1.5 oz Arrack

3-4 dashes Angostura bitters

Shake and pour into an Old Fashioned glass over crushed ice, Add a generous shake of cinnamon and serve.

Gut Punch if it were a decent drink

1/2 oz lime juice

1 oz oleo-saccharum**

1.5 oz dark rum

2 oz Gut Stock* (recipe under the cut)

2 dashes orange bitters

Shake and pour into an Old Fashioned glass over crushed ice. Grate some nutmeg on top and serve

So hey! there's some weird ingredients in there, and I'm gonna talk about em and how to actually make em in a bit, but first let's talk flavors. For starters the game accurate version. Don't make this. It is very accurate to the sensation of a gut punch. There is the initial shock of impact, followed by a slow, dreadful bitterness that has you gagging. Have more than a couple in rapid succession, and you're viable to throw up from the experience.

The second version? It's sweet, loaded with citrus flavor, the bitterness and the sweetness play well together with a drink that is no doubt good for a hot sunny day, which we're moving into as the seasons are changing. Those funky ingredients, oleo-saccharum and Gut Stock, as I called em? I'm definitely gonna have them stocked up in my fridge. In fact, both of them are a good way to keep you from wasting your citrus.

But what ARE both of them exactly? That, as well as how to make em i'm gonna talk about under a read more, since this is already long as hell

So to start off, the name Gut Punch got me thinking. It is supposedly a "punch made of innards", but what innards could they be talking about? Ignoring the less pleasant ideas that this is a mixed drink that somehow uses sweetbread or tripe, I opted to instead interpret this as the guts of an ingredient you would *expect* in a punch, citrus fruits. If you ever work in a bar that uses fresh juice and twists, you know that you're gonna wind up with tons of little juiced and peeled fruity husks that you'll just throw out otherwise. and THAT was my inspiration for the star of this drink, the aforementioned Gut Stock.

But first, I wanna talk Oleo-Saccharum, cuz thats a weird, kinda uncommon ingredient, but it is a really simple one, actually. It's basically sweetened citrus oils that you get by covering muddled peels in sugar, waiting a day, and straining em out. I don't want to waste too much time on this, because other people have talked about this, and better than I'm capable of doing, so you could find a solid recipe for this stuff by searching around.

On the other hand, I'm the only person in the world who knows what the heck i'm talking about when i say the words "Gut Stock" and it's really simple, actually. It was my mission to use every last piece of your citrus fruits reaching the final stage

Gut Stock

combine the pith and pulp of 6 juiced and peeled citrus fruits with 4 cups of water and bring to a boil

lower the heat to a medium-low, and simmer for 45 minutes, when finished, strain out the fruits and pulp.

That's really all it takes, and what's this taste like? The best way to describe it is creeping bitterness. When you take your first sip, it'll taste vaguely like the juice of the fruits it came from, but that gets very quickly overwhelmed by the taste of pure citrus pith. It's not entirely unpleasant, though, as curiosity got the better of me when I mixed it in with the usual punch fixings, and I gotta say, this beats out thinning your punch with water any day of the week. Bitter citrus is frigging amazing when properly sweetened, and this junk is a really nice way to showcase it. Plus it isn't hard to make, and if you mix a lot of drinks, you'll probably already have some juiced fruits on hand. May as well save em and throw them into a stock pot to make a gimmick drink every now and again.

[anime-alyssa]

purple scars. (d ragnvindr x reader)

i posted this on ao3 and forgot to move it here - so you get it super long and not 2 in parts. i’m thinking of continuing this, maybe?

thanks for reading and the support! i’m working on a xiao rn hopefully i can get my shit together 

warning: contains some emotional trauma, implied r*pe but nothing is overly graphic. the second half is smut, separated by stars if thats what you want to skip to. 

The bitter cold of Dragonspire finally started to fade away as you crossed over the bridge back into Mondstat for the first time in 10 years. You were bundled up to the extreme, having prepared for the cold, your sword on your back and jacket heavy on your shoulders. Your sword and your jacket were all you managed to steal away before you were able to escape your homeland, Inazuma. You were still dressed in the encampment clothes, your ID number splayed across the chest of the shirt and the boots too big for your feet.

You hadn’t wanted to be gone for 10 years - you wanted to only be gone for a few, to get your Electro under control. But when Baal placed borders around the country and started hunting down anyone with a Vision, life had become a living hell. You were placed in a prison camp and locked away from society shortly after, tortured beyond anything imaginable just for being born with a Vision. The only thing that kept you alive was the hope that one day, if you had gotten strong enough, you would be able to escape Inazuma to head back to Diluc, and Mondstat - were you really felt at home. 

Diluc Ragnvindr was a mystery to everybody, except for you. You found yourself more often than not sneaking onto Dawn Winery’s premises when his father was not around and exploring each other’s bodies, like the horny teens that you had been. Sometimes you thought you could still feel the ghost of his fingertips on your skin at night - and tried to imagine that it was him when the Bakufu would do unspeakable things to you and the other prisoners. It was painful, and left you scarred - would Diluc even want you?

It had been 10 years - you had last seen him when you were merely 16 and he was entering the Knights of Favonius. The two of you fell in love as teenagers - no one expected it to be anything beyond that, but the two of you were convinced otherwise at the time. For you, it was still the same - you thought of Diluc every single day while you were in Inazuma. You could remember the day like it was yesterday - his heartbroken eyes, the cries you let out as you told him that you would be leaving, the way he held onto you. 

“I’ll be back - I promise - I just - I need help that I can’t get here.” you sobbed into his chest. The Pyro users warmth was all around you as he held you in his room at Dawn Winery, his father out for the night, leaving the two of you bare in his bed.

“You better come back, or else I’ll go to Inazuma myself to get you.” his eyes looked down at you and your heart broke at the sight of him - Diluc was never a vulnerable person, but right now he was. One of his thumbs stroked your tears away on your cheeks as his lips peppered kisses up your neck. “I will never forget you. Ever.” 

“Neither will I.” you said with a gasp, as Diluc had given you a night to never forget. 

You had officially reached the other side of the bridge - the cold gone away and the warmth coming back to you. You thought about taking the jacket off, now way too hot with it on, but you didn’t want people to know where you had come from. You didn’t want their pity. There was a small camp with other adventurers and travelers around, the chef offering you food for free before you went on your way. It didn’t do much for you to quell the aching hunger you had and the shaky legs - you weren’t really the best fed and had been surviving off of fruit from trees. In short, you were in no condition to be traveling, clearly sickly and unwell. But you were not stopping now - you couldn’t. Not after all that you had overcome. You hadn’t forgotten about him. 

A series of snarls from the side of you caused you to jump as you saw about four hilichurls coming right for you. You shrugged the jacket off and grabbed your sword, standing your guard as the monsters attacked. You fought them tooth and nail until your vision all but blacked out - you had hit the ground and heard someone calling for you. 

“Hello? Wake up - Lumine - she needs help! Hey, wait - that’s an Inazuma camp uniform!” a high-pitched voice said to you. Your vision slowly came back as you saw a floating - fairy? You didn’t know what she was - but she was floating above you looking concerned next to a young blonde teenager. “Are you okay?” 

“I - I don’t know. Need food - water - Di -” you managed to weakly say, feeling your world spin around you. The blonde teenager ran to the water source across from you - a lake? - to get you a drink of water as the fairy thing fished out something for you to eat. You felt like you were going to die - you were starving, dehydrated, but Diluc, you needed to get to Diluc.

“Here’s some water! Drink this, please.” she said to you kindly. You took the cup and quickly chugged the water, then taking the offered food. “My name is Lumine, and this is Paimon.” You gave them your name back, as they seemed trustworthy, as they sat down next to you and watched you. Paimon looked at you with sad eyes, seeing your uniform.

“Thank you very much. It’s been…. a while since I ate anything. All I have is this.” you said to them, continuing to eat. You were already feeling better, but by the way they were looking at you, you could tell that you were still quite a sight.

“You’re welcome - did you escape Inazuma? Paimon and Lumine were actually trying to find a way to sneak in.” Paimon had announced to you. You froze on the spot and looked up to them.

“What - no. Don’t go there. It’s dangerous - the camps - ” You felt panic start to bubble in your chest, your heart-rate increasing and breathing becoming staggered at the flashes of memories that flooded your mind. Paimon started calling out to you again, trying to calm you. She and Lumine had started to talk amongst themselves, looking at you trying to calm yourself as they made attempts to as well. You tried to remember Diluc - what you could of him, and slowly you were able to calm down. “I’m sorry - it’s just - it’s awful. I was there for 10 years, I was a prisoner.” You sat in an awkward silence before Paimon spoke up again. 

“Hey - Paimon remembers that when you were talking earlier, you almost sounded like you were saying someone’s name.” she said to you. 

“I’m - I’m looking for Diluc Ragnvindr of Mondstat - the Knights - or Dawn Winery - I don’t know where he is, actually. When I left, he was joining the Knights.” you said to them with a sudden hope that you hadn’t felt in years. Even in your journey, you hadn’t felt hopeful. There was always the chance of the Bakufu finding you and bringing you back or dying. But suddenly, you felt some hope. 

“Oh - Master Diluc! Paimon didn’t know he used to be with the Knights of Favonius - that explains why he dislikes them so much now - but he does run Dawn Winery now!” Paimon said, floating happily. She paused for a moment - then looked like some gears had clicked in her head. “Wait a minute - you’re Master Diluc’s lost love!!”

“His what?” You asked. Lost love? Was that what the rumor was? But wait - if there was even a rumor, that meant there was potential that he still cared about you - still thought of you. 

“What Paimon means to say is that Kaeya told us stories about when Diluc was… not like he is now. That he used to be much happier - and it was because of you.” the blonde traveler said to you. 

“What - what do you mean? He’s changed?” You wanted to slap yourself - obviously he changed, it’s been years. But they made it seem like he was completely different - and he left the Knights? When Diluc was younger it was all he wanted to do, so he could protect people and help them. What had changed? You assumed you would find out. 

“Paimon thinks we should take you to him to find out - Kaeya made it seem like you knew him better than anyone, so you would know more. Let’s go check Dawn Winery to see if he is there!” she said happily. You gave her a nod as you shakily stood up, feeling like you had a little bit more energy and walked with the traveler and her companion. 

You learned about her on the way there. She woke up on the beach with no memory, but knew she was not from Tevyat. Her twin brother was missing and she was in search of The Seven to see if maybe that would be a way for her to find him, which explained why she wanted to go to Inazuma despite your warnings. But, she was Vision-less - a fact that shocked you as you could have sworn you vaguely remember her using Anemo during the fight. That little factoid made you feel a little better. 

As you approached Dawn Winery, your stomach started twisting into knots. All of your anxieties came flooding back - would Diluc even want you still? Would he be appalled at the state of you? Would he be able to handle the extra baggage you came with now? Your mind reeled at Paimon babbled on about how maybe you would be good for Diluc to be happy, and how she was looking forward to the food the winery always had for them. You felt yourself fidgeting with the jacket, having put it back on to cover your uniform. 

You saw his red hair from a mile away and froze in your steps. He had gotten taller, but god he looked the same. He pulled his hair back like he always had, muscles built out over the years. He couldn’t see you yet, talking to someone else across from him at the entrance of the winery. Lumine stayed by your side, the teenager having a big heart and concerned. However, Paimon floated on over to him. 

“Master Diluc! Master Diluc! Paimon and Lumine have someone who was looking for you!” she said excitedly. You couldn’t help but admire the creature’s happiness, despite your nerves. You and Lumine walked forward as Diluc turned around - eyes going wide seeing you. Your breath hitched in your throat as you two made eye contact. It felt like all air in your lungs had just disappeared and you were unable to breathe. 

Diluc slowly stepped towards you at first, not being able to believe his eyes. You could tell he was taking you in, observing your features and you to make sure that it really was you. You didn’t blame him for taking his time - you were unrecognizable from before. Your features had thinned out due to the years of neglect from the Bakufu, eyes sunken slightly inward and skin paled. You saw a flash of doubt flash in his eyes - or at least that’s what your brain wanted you to think - and you let out a sob. That seemed to do it for him as Diluc ran over to you in a flash, pushing anybody out of his way to wrap his arms around you. 

It finally felt like you were home, in Diluc’s arms as he held you. More sobs wrecked your now trembling body, overcome with emotion as tears spilled onto his clothing. His grip on you was snug, but not too tight, treating you like you were glass and frail. He was warm, as he always was, while he held onto you like you’d disappear into thin air if he let go. You felt your knees give out, exhaustion starting to hit you, Diluc picking you up to support you. You tried to say something - to say anything to him, but the shaking and the exhaustion was becoming to much and eventually, you blacked out in his arms. 

——

You woke up on a comfortable bed - so comfortable it almost didn’t feel right. You were sunk into one side with the blankets over you, body bare underneath. Had Diluc been the one to take your clothes off - did he see your scars? Your body suddenly felt good - there was no aching, you suddenly felt healthy? If that was the word for it. You shuffled in the bed, making an attempt to sit up, before you were promptly pushed back down. 

“Lay down - please.” Diluc spoke to you. You turned your gaze over to him, laying next to you, half asleep and half dressed. You covered yourself underneath the blankets as he threw an arm over you, pulling you close to him despite trying to hide. “Don’t do that. Stop trying to hide from me.”

“Diluc - I’m - I’m not the same.” you stammered out. You felt his fingers dance over your bare skin and you gasped, instinctively jumping back. He retreated his touch upon seeing this, examining you again. “I’m sorry.”

“What did they do to you?” he asked. Panic bubbled inside of you once more as you tried to find the words to speak. You wanted to tell him everything. He deserved to know everything if he was still going to be with you. But for some reason, you couldn’t find the words. “Did the Bafuku do this - give you these?” His fingers grazed over the discolored scars on your body, purple marks from Electro attacks embedded into your skin forever. 

“Yes - they would - they punished us when we fought back. All of us - but the females - they would - they’d come at night - ” Diluc let out a low snarl, understanding what you were implying without actually having to say it. “I tried to imagine it was you. Thinking of you is the only thing that kept me alive most days. It was awful - once Baal placed the orders to capture everyone with Visions, they found me in days. The painful part was that I was right at Liyue’s border - I was so close to getting out. That’s when I got this one.” You lifted your left arm, pointing to a series of purple numbers on your wrist. 

“I don’t want to hear where they came from. It only makes me angrier that the damn Knights of Favonius didn’t even try to do anything to help.” Diluc said, cautiously wrapping a bare arm around you, testing the waters. You allowed him the contact - knowing that you were safe. You were safe with Diluc. You just needed to convince your brain the same thing, which would take time that he didn’t seem to mind. “It’s the middle of the night, let’s go back to bed. You need rest.” he said to you. 

You gave Diluc a quick nod as you found yourself inching closer to his chest, resting your head on him. He was warm, as always, wrapping his arms completely around you and pulling you onto him. He never used to be one who liked someone on top of him, even you, and you had respected that - but now it seems like he wasn’t going to ever let you go again. 

You didn’t mind as you attempted to fall into a dreamless sleep - but you were unlucky. Diluc was out in five minutes flat, but every time you tried to close your eyes flashes of the past would come back to haunt you. You weren’t sure if you got a wink of rest at all, until you found Diluc looking down at you, the sun out behind him. Your throat was dry and your face was wet. Had you had a nightmare? You weren’t sure if you had, since you weren’t even sure if you had fallen asleep at all.

“It’s just me - you’re okay. You were having a nightmare, I think.” he said, trying to say it in his calmest voice he could possibly muster. You blinked up at him confused. 

“I - I don’t remember.” you said sadly, racking your brain to see if you could remotely remember, but having no such luck. Your brain was telling you that it didn't want you to remember, you think.

“You were screaming in your sleep. Almost shocked me, actually.” he said, throwing a light-hearted chuckle in at the end. You were not amused though, staring at him with wide eyes as you sat up slowly.

“I did? Are you okay?” you asked him. He looked at you like you had ten heads, confusing you until he spoke next.

“What - are you okay?”

“I think that answer is obvious enough.” You replied plainly. Diluc’s hand went to your chin, bringing your gaze to match his. His thumb lovingly and gently ran across your jawline, and you instinctively leaned into his touch. Slowly, you climbed up onto his lap, and he allowed you the comfort. “I think - I think I’ll be okay now, though. It’s just going to take some time.” You nuzzled yourself back into his chest as he hugged you snuggly, a hum leaving his lips. 

“I’ll be here with you until it is, I swear it.” Diluc pressed a soft kiss on your forehead and you knew then that he meant it just like he did 10 years before.

*********************************************************************************

Slowly but surely, you started to heal, and it was all thanks to Diluc. The nightmares started to slowly fade away and with time, you were feeling happy again. You lived with him at Dawn Winery and took on some responsibilities to earn your keep (though Diluc always insisted that you didn’t need to do so), like helping the staff keep the place running and making sure that Diluc was on time to everything he needed to be. Which was a challenge, especially once you started to feel like your old self again (or what you could of your old self). 

“One of these days, Charles is going to quit and then you’ll be stuck!” you said to him from on top of his desk, his lips on your neck as you let out a sigh. You weren’t quite mentally ready for much more intimacy, and he was okay with that, but you slowly had become re-accustomed to more touches. Diluc was letting you take the reins for what you were ready for and what you weren’t. 

“He threatens to quit every day. He never does.” Diluc spoke against your skin, grunting as you finally pushed him away - and just in time, as Charles walked in to look for him. You hopped off and ran to find Adeline to see if she needed any help. Later on that day, you saw Charles again and he said that Diluc had been in a particularly angry mood for the past few hours. With a sigh, you had hunted him down, finding him in your bedroom. 

“What’s wrong? Charles is going around saying you’re angry.” you said to him. Your partner let out a scoff as he turned back around to you, your eyes immediately going to his middle. You bit back a laugh. 

“Don’t.” he hissed through gritted teeth, face burning as you stepped closer to him. 

“It’s like you’re sixteen again.” you said with a small giggle. Before he could protest, you had him backed against the wall and his pants shoved down, solving the problem yourself. Charles saw you before he left for the night and had said Diluc was in a much better mood the rest of the day. 

You had found out about Diluc’s night-time hero work as The Darknight Hero a week or two after you had returned. Originally, you fought him tooth and nail against it, for selfish reasons - but once he explained what had happened to him over the past 10 years, you gave it a rest and let him go on. With the death of his father and everything that had happened with the Knights and his brother afterward, you almost couldn’t blame him. 

He had put a pause on it when you came back, but people started to talk and worry, and the Abyss Order picked up on it. He had to begin it again, and you worried every single night. Tonight in particular, he had been gone almost all night, and you were starting to worry. It was an hour or two more than what he was usually out, and you were alone in the Winery with your thoughts. To make things worse, it was storming outside so you couldn’t go out to look for him even if you wanted to. 

A crack of thunder caused panic to rush through your chest - it sounded too much like Bakufu punishment for your comfort. You were snuggled under blankets, bringing your knees to your chest as you tried to push the memories away - another crack making an involuntary whimper leave your lips as the shakes came on. You hadn’t panicked like this in months - but the conditions of the storm and Diluc being gone for longer than he said brought it on, and you were nearly unable to control it. 

The door opened and you jumped, not paying any mind to whoever it was that walked through the door as you fought to keep the memories at bay - flashes of them coming through in segments. You heard a curse and then running as you steadied some of your breathing, a hand coming to your face and forcing you to look at your lover. He wrapped his arm around you and brought you close to him, letting you soak up his warmth. 

“You’re okay - you’re okay.” Diluc chanted to you softly. You nodded against his chest as you wrapped yourself around him back, his hand gently rubbing your back. He was right - you were okay. “I tried to get back as soon as I could after the weather rolled in, I’m sorry it took so long.” he apologized from above you. 

“It’s okay.” you mumbled into him.

“No it’s not. I know how it gets - I should have known better.” he pressed a kiss to your hair after he spoke, guilt starting to rise up. Diluc had been overly cautious when it came to you since your return - within days he had memorized anything that sent you into a panic and was there to prevent it from happening. Until today, that is, hence the guilt. You let out a sigh as you relaxed into him. 

“I know you want to protect me, but you can’t always do it, on top of everything else. I’ll be okay.” you said to him, taking your head out of his chest and bringing your lips to his. 

He slowly reciprocated once his mind caught up to his body - realizing that you were initiating, something that hadn’t happened yet since you came back. His arms around you tightened as the kiss became deeper and more passionate, from a tiny little peck to open mouthed pants. Diluc was almost struggling to keep up with you, mind telling him to slow down for you but body betraying him, his need for you coming to the surface. 

Diluc almost lost his mind when he had dragged you closer to him and heard a soft moan leave your lips as you landed on top of the tent in his pants. The moan seemed to be the signal that flipped the switch in Diluc’s head, as he flipped the two of you over, placing your back on the mattress as he towered above you. 

“Are - are you sure?” Diluc asked, needing your complete consent before he went any further. A selfish part of him was hoping you’d say yes, but if you were to say no, he’d have no problem getting off you right now and going on with his night. It was all about if you were ready. 

“Yes. Please Diluc.” you said back quietly. It was his turn to let out a moan at your begging for him as his lips went to your neck, softly leaving pecks up and down both sides. 

“You tell me if anything - anything - is too much.” he spoke against your skin, coming back up to make sure that you understood. Diluc felt his cock twitch in his pants seeing your blissed out face, lust clouded over you from him. You let out a weak nod before he went back down with more vigor, sucking marks into your neck for all to see.

Fighting back wasn’t a thought in your mind as your body grew hot, clothes suddenly feeling restricting and your core in need of some friction. You hadn’t needed anybody in years, but right now, you needed him. Everything felt so right as his gloved fingertips pushed your shirt off your body, exposing your chest to him. The cool air made you shiver, but was soon replaced with the warmth of Diluc’s mouth pressing open-mouthed kisses to all the skin he could reach. 

You managed to get Diluc to shrug his jacket off once you started to push it over his shoulders, pulling at his gloves next and discarding those. His mouth went back to its attack on your chest, finding one of your breasts and gently beginning to tug. A moan left your mouth as you tried to remember that your next mission was to get his shirt off. Your body was giving into him more and more as sparks of pleasure started to zoom through your veins and down to your core, slick starting to pool. 

“Diluc…” you moaned out his name lustfully, spurring him on more. He pulled away from your nipple with a pop, panting as he almost ripped the rest of his shirt off his arms before going back down to pay attention to the other nipple. You continued to cry out, twisting underneath him as you filled with more and more need. 

You felt his hands moving down your stomach, one resting on your hip while the other tucked under the waistband of your pants. For a moment, your mind started to reel and your heart raced - flashes of the past coming in. You were able to remember that you were with Diluc - you were safe, and you wanted him. Diluc noticed, immediately popping off you and gazing up at you. 

“Should I - ”

“Don’t you dare stop.” you said, cutting him off. Throwing your arms around his neck, you brought his lips down to meet yours as he quickly continued what he was doing. Fingers dipped between your folds slowly, toying with your sensitive bud and making you moan against his mouth. With a small grunt back, Diluc slid two of his fingers into you slowly, beginning to pump. You sighed out his name as your hips ground into him, his lips moving back towards your neck as he panted against you. 

“You’re so fucking perfect, baby.” he breathed against you, hips rutting against your thigh. You used your free hands to push your pants off, kicking them down your legs and leaving you completely exposed. The purple scars on your body reflected with the lightning outside the window and the candle light on the bedside while your body twitched with desire. Another moan left your lips as his fingers curled up into you, his thumb circling your bud making your walls tremble. “I need you. I need you.” he chanted into your neck, trying to use his freehand to fumble with his pants to push them down. 

“Diluc…” you moaned as you started to meet his pumps, fucking yourself on his fingers trying to chase a high that you felt coming. 

“I need to be inside you. Let me - I need it.” he stammered, continuing to finger fuck you until you said yes. You let out a cry as you felt yourself nearing the edge, body hot and sweat collecting on your skin. “Please baby - let me - ”

“Diluc, yes - fuck - ” As soon as the words left your mouth, he pulled his fingers out of you and finished pulling his pants down, kicking them off and letting them fall to the floor. You let out a whine at the loss before Diluc leaned down to kiss you again, gently using his knees to spread your legs wider and his hand that was in you to line his cock up with you. Nerves started to kick in ever so slightly, surpassing the need as you spoke out. “Be - slow - please.” you managed to say. 

“Of course.” he said back, putting his lips back on yours as Diluc pushed the head of his cock into your hole. He let out a moan into your mouth, checking your face for any signs of discomfort before pushing in more. A whine left your lips at the feeling of being split open - it had been so long since you had someone inside of you that it almost felt like the first time again. Diluc pressed kisses to you, as some form of a distraction, as he continued to seethe himself inside until eventually, he was all the way in. “Okay?” he asked, bringing his gaze back up to yours. Diluc looked like he was absolutely holding back, restraining himself because you had asked. His face was red and he was panting above you already, heart racing with desire. 

“Ye - yeah.” you said back to him. He let out a groan before he kissed you again, not moving inside just yet. His lips were warm against yours, swollen from all of the other kisses he had given you so far. Diluc wrapped his arms around you and brought you close to him, pressing your bodies together as you felt your need re-awaken. Your body was on edge, having him inside you but not moving - and you needed him yet again. “Diluc - you can move - please.” you begged. 

“Fuck, yes.” he groaned into your mouth as slowly he started to rock his hips into yours, cock sliding in and out of you with ease. When he started moving, everything from before fully woke up again and you felt your muscles start to tense up, gripping onto his shoulders desperately as your moans started to fill the air. He took that as signal to start going faster and eventually, he started thrusting harder, with more purpose. A cry left your lips at the change of pace, feeling your body react by trying to move your hips to meet his. 

“Faster Diluc - please faster.” you cried out. Your lover let out a loud moan at your plea, hiking your legs over his shoulders as he fucked into you harder, cock curving up inside you and hitting the spot that had you crying out his name. You started to shake under him, a warmth pooling in you that felt like it was about to bubble over. Diluc took your lips in his again, drinking up your moans as he pounded himself into you, the bed creaking and the sound of his hips meeting yours filling the room. You felt his cock growing harder inside of you with every thrust, your resolve close to breaking. “D - Diluc - Diluc!” you cried, tears streaming down your cheeks as pleasure started to overcome you. 

“So good - you’re so good to me - so - perfect - fuck!” he said to you in a haze, a wanton moan leaving his lips as he felt your walls start to flutter around his cock. You let out a cry as you felt yourself nearly there - the pressure was bubbling and you were about to snap as the length of Diluc’s cock hit you right every time, his moans music to your ears and making your insides shutter. “Ah - ah - come for me, baby - come for me!” Diluc begged, now chasing a release by making you get to yours. You let out a whine - feeling yourself getting towards that edge - then a scream, feeling Diluc bring his hand down between your bodies to start rubbing at your clit. “Fuck you’re gonna - come - come!” he moaned. 

“Diluc - Diluc - I’m - fuck!” you screamed out his name as white hot pleasure took over your body, feeling your walls finally clench down on him inside of you. Your eyes rolled into the back of your heard as you kept moaning, body arching against his and core still convulsing as Dilic continued to fuck you, now with a pace near brutal that had your orgasm being wrung out, overstimulation nearing. “Di - Diluc - ” you stammered as his fingers rubbed harder on your spent nub. 

“Fuck - I’m - I’m gonna cum - so hard - inside - baby - ” Diluc let out one last loud moan as his hips slapped against yours, his cock twitching inside of you as his seed buried itself deep. He let out moans as he bucked his hips up into you, your twitching core milking his cock as he all but collapsed on top of you. “Fuck -” he breathed out into your neck, dragging your hips close again so he could keep pumping his high in your body. 

You felt spent - exhausted. Eventually, you felt his cock stop twitching inside of you and Diluc pulled out, collapsing next to you. He brought the blankets over your bodies and pulled you close to him, pressing kisses to your temple. 

“Are you okay?” he asked you. You turned to look at him, eyes wide with concern. You gave him a smile and pressed a kiss to his lips. Even after all that, he was still worried about you. You could argue that's what you loved most about him - that under the facade of not caring, he cared a lot - he was an emotional guy. 

“More than okay.” you said back to him. He let out a hum as his hand trailed down to your abdomen - the area where you had the most scars from the Bakufu. Suddenly, you got what he was saying. 

“I - well - I came inside. Are you sure?” he asked again. You didn’t really think about that in the moment, honestly. You weren’t sure how you felt about that one hundred percent - but you knew that you didn’t entirely mind it. You had gone through hell to get back with him because you wanted to be with him - you wanted to be with him completely. 

“Yeah. I’m sure - I want to be with you, Diluc. That means… everything.” you said back. He nodded back down to you as he kissed you again, keeping his hand on you down below. When he stopped, he pressed your forehead to his lovingly.

“To everything.”

[waitimcomingtoo]

Where We Start Again -3

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: how do you fake date someone you have real feelings for?

Series Masterlist and Regular Masterlist

Playlist by @tiny-friggin-human

The first thing Peter heard when he entered your apartment was shouting. You looked disappointed as you locked the door behind you and put your keys in a bowl next to door.

“Sorry. That’s my dad.” You apologized. “He claims using his “lawyer voice” is the only way he can get clients to listen.”

“It’s fine.” Peter assured you. “As long as he doesn’t use that voice on me.”

“Not unless your skirt is too short or you got a grade below a 90.” You said through a tight smile as you dropped your backpack on a kitchen stool. He uncomfortably shouldered his, unsure of if he should do the same.

“You can put your bag down. Put it next to mine so they can talk.” You raised your eyebrows suggestively. Peter shook his head as he laughed at your dumb joke and put his backpack on the stool next to yours.

“What are the gonna talk about?” He played along and you thought about it.

“Yours is probably telling my backpack about how scared he is since he heard your last five bags disappeared.” You whispered dramatically and Peter scoffed.

“I just lose them a lot, okay? I can’t believe you noticed that.” He mumbled. He did lose his backpack a lot when he had to ditch it for Spider-Man duties, he just never thought you’d notice that he always had a different bag.

“Sometimes I see things when I’m not applying lipgloss or brushing my hair.” You said through a big, fake smile and Peter got the hint.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He told you. “I know you do other things. Like paint, apparently.”

You looked at a small canvas hung on the wall together. It was a painting of squidward on a yellow background with your name at the bottom. You looked at it proudly and adjusted it so it wasn’t crooked.

“I hung that up there two years ago and my parents still haven’t noticed.” You laughed, but Peter didn’t find it very funny. “I think it’s kinda of pretty.”

“It’s lovely. You’ll have to make me one someday.” He said as he gazed at you. You seemed different now that you weren’t at school. You weren’t standing as straight and finally looked relaxed.

“You want me to paint a bunch of dicks on your ceiling?” You asked and he almost choked on his saliva.

“Why would you do that?” He asked in bewilderment.

“It was a Michelangelo joke, ciccino.” You said an unexpectedly authentic Italian accent.

“Oh. Um, pizza spaghetti spicy meatball to you too.” He muttered and you laughed loudly. He looked at you quizzically, never having heard you laugh like that before. It was never that loud or cheerful. You noticed his staring and covered your mouth in embarrassment.

“Sorry about that.” You said sheepishly and he shook his head.

“Don’t be.” He said softly. “It was nice to hear.”

“Come on. I’ll give you the rest of the tour.” You took Peters hand and lead him to a room at the end of the hall. “This is my bedroom. I’m sorry I don’t have Yoda on my sheets. I hope daisies will do.”

MJ’s words echoed in Peters mind when you didn’t let go of his hand. He blinked a few times as he looked around your room. He’d imagined what it might look like a few times, as he did with a most people. He was pretty sure Flash lived in a dirt hole outside of a SuperCuts. Whatever he imagined your room would look like, the reality was better. But as he looked closer, he noticed an absence of photos with friends or mementos from school. It was almost like your popularity started and ended on school property.

“Your sheets are fine. It’s smells like you in here.” He said without thinking. “Was that the creepiest thing I could’ve possibly said?”

“Nah. A boy in my Econ class told me he wanted to use my hair as a towel once. You’re gonna have to try harder to creep me out.” You let go of his hand and smoothed your skirt before sitting on your bed. Peter stood awkwardly near the door until he found the words to say. He didn’t want to take another step into your room at risk of ruining the wholesome atmosphere.

“Your hair looks soft and all, but I don’t think it’d be very absorbent.” He said finally and watched your face for a reaction.

“Right? Some people are so dumb.” You joked and he felt himself ease up. He took a few steps toward the center of your room and noticed a guitar leaning again your dresser.

“Do you play?” He asked curiously and you nodded. You got up and walked over to the guitar, fingering the strings as a soft melody played.

“A little. I can strum along time a few songs.” You told him. He joined you next to the guitar and touched the neck.

“Thats still something.” He assured you. “I didn’t know that about you.”

“Theres a lot you don’t know about me, Peter.” You quipped and stopped touching the strings.

“Good thing I love to learn.” He replied and you picked up the guitar.

“What’s your favorite song?” You asked and played him an energetic riff.

“You’re gonna laugh.” He hesitated to tell you.

“I would never laugh at you.” You promised.

“It’s Hey there Delilah. My mom used to sing it when she made dinner.” He admitted for the first time to another human being. He and Ned didn’t cover vulnerable topics, so he kept personal stuff to himself. It was hard to keep it in sometimes, but he never felt like he had another choice until now. I

“That’s a great song. She had good taste.” You said softly. You had heard about his parents passing from MJ when you asked her about the cute boy who sat at her lunch table a week earlier. You didn’t expect him to open about it so soon, but you were glad he did.

“Yeah, she did.” Peter agreed. He never expected to be talking about this with you, but it felt good to get off his chest.

“What was she like?” You wondered as you fingered the melody to Marry Me, Archie.

“Amazing. We used to do crossword puzzles together and she would finish hers before I read my second clue. And she always had something in the oven. It made the house really hot in the summer but my dad and I didn’t mind. We were happy as long as she was.” He reminisced. You listened intently to him as you played the song softly.

“What would she make?” You asked him.

“Pretty much everything.” He replied. “Her favorite was chocolate chip cookies. But from scratch, not a package.”

“Were they good?”

“They were so good.” He sighed happily. “She used to put extra chocolate chips on as the cooled down. I miss those cookies.”

You didn’t say anything but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. He knew you were listening, and that’s all that mattered. His eyes wandered to your bookshelf which was bare of books except for one.

“Charlottes Web?” He raised an eyebrow as he picked up the book and flipped through it.

“It’s my favorite book.” You told him. He was leaning a lot about you just from being in your room.

“Could’ve fooled me. It looks brand new.” He held it up for you to see.

“I only read it one time. When I was younger.” You shrugged and put the guitar down.

“But it’s your favorite?” He wondered.

“The ending makes me sad. I remember the story and how it made me feel, and that makes it my favorite.” You half smiled. “I just can’t read it anymore because-“

“It makes you sad.” He understood. “That’s cute.”

“You’re cute.” You nodded your head at him and blew him a kiss, like you were cat calling him. He looked away bashfully and brushed it off. “I’m serious. I really like this color on you.”

“So I’ve been told.” He mumbled shyly. “Thank you for the candy, by the way.”

“Well I had to pay you back for the gogurt.” You teased. “Should we get going?”

“Going?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

“To the mall. For a dress. Like we agreed.” You said slowly and he remembered why he was at your house in the first place.

“Right.” He nodded curtly. “Let’s go.”

~

“How’s this?” You opened the dressing room curtain and stepped out in a short maroon dress. Peters eyes lit up at the sight of you until he realized something.

“Isn’t that the same dress you just had on?” He asked.

“No. That was burgundy. This is maroon.” You said like it was obvious and it went right over Peters head.

“You look great.” He complimented, and he meant it.

“You said that about the last three.” You whined and looked at yourself in the mirror. You adjusted the dress nervously and decided you hated it.

“Yeah, but you do this crazy thing where you’re super pretty and look good in everything, so.” Peter shrugged and you bit back a smile.

“Peter Parker with the flirtatious banter. We love to see it.” You winked, something he was coming to see you did a lot, and went back into the dressing room. You came out a minute later in a long white dress.

“What do you think about this one?” You asked for his opinion as you smoothed the dress down.

“Oh my God. You look like Princess Leia when she - I’m gonna stop talking now.” He interrupted himself before he said something uncool.

“You don’t have to hide who you are from me, Peter. If you want to make a Star Trek reference, I want to hear it.” You folded your arms and admired the dress in the mirror.

“Okay.” He obeyed. “And it’s Star Wars. Star Trek is different.”

“Oh. Which one has the bunnies playing basketball?” You pursed your lips as you looked over your shoulder at the dress.

“That’s Space Jam.” He couldn’t even hide his attitude. “That’s not even-“

He cut himself off when he noticed the playful smile on your face.

“You’re messing with me.” He realized and you nodded.

“You’re cute when you’re riled up.” You shrugged a shoulder and disappeared back into the dressing room.

“How’s this?” You reappeared in a little black dress. It had a sheer layer over the mini skirt that was short in the front and longer in the back. You looked beautiful, to say the least. Like the person who designed the dress made it with you in mind. Peters eyes slowly trailed down the dress and a smile tugged at his lips.

“You know the scene in Mean Girls when Aaron sees the picture of Cady as a little girl on top of an elephant and smiles? And like, that happy song with guitars plays in the background?” He asked you and you looked confused.

“I think so, yeah.” You shrugged.

“That’s how that dress makes me feel.” He confessed and you tilted your head.

“Like I’m a child riding an elephant?”

“Like I’m seeing you for the first time.” He replied. “The real you, anyway. Again, not trying to sound like a stalker, but I’ve looked at you a lot over the last four years. But this feels like the first time I’ve ever really looked at you. You look - - you look happy.”

“Do I not normally look happy?” You asked quietly, turning to look at your face in the mirror.

“You have a sadness to you.” Peter admitted and your head whipped to him. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be saying that.”

“No, it’s okay. No ones ever honest with me.” You were quiet for a moment following the confession. “What else do you see?”

“I see a really beautiful girl.” Peter answered honestly. He thought he was complimenting you, but you looked annoyed with the answer. He remembered what MJ said about you hating being watched and took that into consideration as he formulated his answer.

“I also see someone who’s smart and can solve a rubix cube in under a minute. I see someone who’s funny, but never at the expense of someone else. Someone who remembers your favorite candy and helps you glue a LEGO lamp together after school. And I see someone who would pretend to be my girlfriend to save me from a bully. That’s what I see.” Peter recited. You looked at him for a moment before taking a seat beside him. You looked like you were searching for the words to say, so Peter kept silent.

“We need to get you a tie to match my dress.” You said finally. You gave him a soft smile and took the hand that was gripping the arm of his chair. “Thank you.”

“For?” He wondered what he had done to warrant a thank you.

“For everything you said. No ones ever known me that well before. No one ever wanted to.” Your voice wavered and Peter thought he could see tears in your eyes.

“I’ve always wanted to.” He confessed. “And somehow, I’m getting the chance. I still worry that I’m gonna wake up and this will have all been a dream.”

“What?” Your expression changed from appreciative to annoyed too quickly for Peters liking. “Why?”

“Because girls like you don’t hang out with guys like me.” He shrugged like it was simply. You hastily got out of your chair and Peter feared he had said the wrong thing.

“Says who?” You asked sharply as you folded your arms. He was positive now he had said the wrong thing.

“Says everybody.” He said weakly.

“Fuck everybody.” You snapped and Peter jumped a little in his seat. “You are better company than anyone one of those sentient bratz dolls at my lunch table. I’ve had more fun with you these past two days than I have in four years with them. I don’t care what everybody says because I like hanging out with you. So I don’t want to hear anymore of this status talk. I’m just a person, Peter.”

“An extremely popular person. And your reputation would plummet if you were caught hanging out with an extremely unpopular person, like myself.” He tried to explain himself as he got out of his seat but it only made you angrier.

“Caught? Like I’m committing a crime just for being seen with you?” You laughed bitterly. “I don’t know who instilled in you that I’m some deity that no one can talk to, but it’s not true. I thought you understood that.” You said in disappointment before storming into the dressing room and swiping the curtain shut.

“Y/n- daisy wait. Wait.” He pressed himself against the doorframe and sighed. “I do understand that. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put you on a pedestal like that. I know you’re just a person.”

He heard you sniffle behind the curtain and his heart broke when his worst fear had come to light.

He had made you cry.

“You don’t get it, Peter.” You said quietly through the curtain. “Everyone think I’m a stuck up snob or a perfect, plastic doll. And no one cares to get to know the truth. They just see what the want to see. I want them to see me the way you do.”

“Maybe they don’t deserve to see that. Daisy, you are this exceptionally phenomenal force of nature.” He promised as he tried to make amends. “You hold a power that their tiny minds could never understand. Forgive them. They’re slow.”

He smiled in relief when he heard a laugh from the other side of the curtain.

“Now that I have you laughing again, will you come out?” He pleaded.

“I’ll think about it.” You said after a beat of silence.

“For the record, I liked you from the first day of freshman year. Before you were popular.” He admitted to someone other than Ned for the first time.

“Didn’t my dad almost hit you with his car?” You asked as you opened the curtain just enough so he could see you.

“Yes.” He stuttered, surprised that his apology worked. “But I was jay walking so that’s on me. And as I waited for my heart to start beating again after nearly colliding with your dads Toyota Camry, I looked up and saw you crying.”

“I thought he killed you.” You defended your actions.

“But he didn’t.” Peter smiled easily. “And now we’re talking through a curtain because we’re fake dating and I can see your bra strap. What a wonderful world.”

You laughed loudly again, a laugh he was sure only he got to hear.

“Come in here.” You grabbed him by the shirt and tugged him into the dressing room. His knees weakened at the sight of you in just a bra and panties so he averted his eyes to the ceiling and counted to ten in his head.

“I don’t mean to worry you but I’m about to die, so do with that what you will.” Peter wheezed as he focused on the ceiling tiles.

“Relax. Just turn around.” You ordered and he obeyed. He turned around and tried to ignore the sounds of you getting dressed. “Okay. You can look now. You were saying?”

“I’m saying I liked you before you were the queen of Midtown Tech.” He repeated as he put his hands on your shoulders. “I liked you when you were just the girl who cried on the first day of school because her dad almost turned me into a skinny white boy pizza. I never thought I was gonna be good enough to talk to you. That’s why I’m worried I’m gonna wake up from this. Because it’s something I’ve wanted for so long.”

“You are good enough. You are so good enough.” You laughed sadly and stepped closer to him. “You’re the only one in this school who treats me like an actual person. I’m sorry I got defensive. It’s just because I’ve been wanting this for a long time too.”

“Tell you what.” Peter started. “You’re gonna buy that black dress and I’m gonna buy a tie to match. And I swear, I will never make you feel like this again. I never meant to make you cry, daisy. I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you for apologizing.” You said sincerely. “I don’t get those a lot.”

“Then you better start getting used to it because I make a lot of mistakes.” Peter joked and your body shook as you laughed.

“I look forward to what you can come up with.” You smiled softly.

“Come on. People are gonna think you’re jumping on my skeleton.” Peter said as he opened the curtain and walked out.

“Okay.” You followed him out. “Wait, what?”

Tag List 🏷

@a-villain-vying-for-attention @wendaiii @dorbiksbitch @t-monosapiens-h @badhollandfluff @thisisthebiplace @silteplaittais-toi @seasidecrowbar @spideygirl2003 @5-seconds-of-mendes​ @bitchylittleredhead​ @oh-whatabeautiful-parker​ @everydaymj​ @write-from-the-heart​ @blackpetalsmeandeath​ @electraheart-3174​ @shawni-h​ @peterparkoure​ @sleepythighsweat @steebbb @traveleraroundsworld @averyfosterthoughts

[honesthammie]

From my prompt list:

4) After reaching your 16th birthday you gain the ability to see everyone's red strings of fate and on your 18th you finally get to see yours, except yours dissappears into the ground/sky.

Fandom:Doctor who

Pairing: 13 x gender neutral reader

This is my first fic on tumblr. I know its hella long and not all of my fics will be like this. This came to me from a dream I had recently. I love Jodie and I decided to write the spider episode from a different perspective. I may have change the episode slightly to fit the reader. I am thinking of doing a part 2 but it may be a while before I do as I have deadlines and stuff to keep up with. The next part may be more fluff between 13 and yourself. I know this didn't have much but it's something. I'm also sorry to any Americans reading this, I love yas but its just the personality I put to go with the readers personality. I'm also sorry for any spelling mistakes as I'm doing this on my phone.

Summary: spider episode with a small change I'm plot to accommodate your beautiful self in this fic

Warnings: slight description of a couple of panic/anxiety attacks, swearing and a bit of angst. Long intro for small fluff. And it's a part 1 do I guess a small cliffhanger is a warning?

Beep beep beep. Your alarm starts blaring in your ears, waking you up with a start. You glare at the interrupting machine before turning it off. After such a crazy night, you did not want your sleep so rudely interrupted. Why did you have a crazy night? It's your 18th birthday today and your friends decided to visit your place for a little house party, last night, to celebrate and now you have a pounding headache.

You groaned as you realised, you would need to take some pain meds before you even think about going back to sleep. Slipping out of your bed, you walk to the bathroom and find the cupboard with all sorts of medicinal and bathroom bits and bobs. You then grab the glass that you placed there in preparation for the definite hangover. The glass was a little cold to the touch but you filled it with some cool water from the sinks tap.

You took two, just so you could have a longer sleep. You waddle back into your bedroom and just as you get comfy, you widen your eyes at the memory. You needed to see your mother today, she said she had a gift for you but she would only be at home until 11. You looked at the machine that you hated for the time. It was currently 10:05. You jumped to your feet and rush to get ready.

As you walked outside, you saw the regular red strings that you saw everyday. Why do you see strings? You honestly didn't know, but you knew their purpose, it helped match 2 soulmates together. But something seemed a little off, there was no one on the street anymore, so why could you still see one line of destiny? You decided to follow the string south, down to your own (s/c) hand which was now slightly shaking at the sight.

"Fuck. Fuck,fucky fucking fuck. Why now? Why me? What the shit is going on with me?" You curse to yourself. You could feel your breath getting rapid and your head started spinning slightly. You quickly unlocked your car and sat down to help calm you down. You took a few deep breaths and focused on your senses.

When you eventually calmed down, you decided to look at where the string led. Oh, how you shouldn't have looked. It didn't go in any way of a compass, it went straight up and past the clouds. How? You had so many questions but you had to focus on the day ahead.

You had been to your mothers house and collected your new (fave game series) and your card. You were incredibly thankful as you have been saving up to buy it for yourself one day. You had played the previous games and loved every one of them and to say you were excited was an understatement. You almost ran back into your place if it wasn't for needing the key to access the gates.

Living in a gated community helped you feel a lot safer but it did also make you a big target for thieves to practise picking locks. No one had figured out where the hidden camera that kept alerting the authorities was though. Even you have tried put of plain curiosity but you got stumped after the 10th day of searching. You were sure you looked in every possible hiding spot, yet the camera always seemed to evade you in the pointless game of hide and seek.

As you unlocked the gate, you felt a twitch on your finger. The string was moving down and at a very fast pace, almost falling speed. You looked up and saw a small black dot heading towards the ground, if thats your soulmate, they would certainly be dead the second they meet their fate. When you could no longer see the dot, you kept your eyes glued to the string, waiting for it to disappear like everyone else's did when a soulmate died.

After five minutes, the string was still there and was still as red as ever, like no harm had come to them. But thats not possible. No creature could survive that especially from that great a height! You were beyond curious and quickly went into your living room and searched on all your social media for anyone else that may have spotted the dot in the sky, yet no one had but you knew (b/f) had another massive fight with their roommate, Stella, over whose turn it was to do the dishes again.

If you didn't know that Stella was in a relationship with another, you would have sworn those two were in a relationship. You giggled at the silly thought, "if Stella ever goes through a break up with her, I'm totally gonna set those two up."

You give up on finding anything out today, maybe it'll be on the news tomorrow and you set off to go on an online shopping spree, you had a few codes and now, thanks to your wonderful mother, had a little cash to spare and you did see that gorgeous top on sale. Once you had spent the day either shopping or gaming you decided to head to bed but you couldn't stop thinking about that dot and what the red string meant for you.

When your alarm had went off, you hit it and got dressed for your new job at some hot shot posh hotel run by an aspiring American with High expectations and little experience with Sheffield. You had been told you wouldn't get to meet him much and you were beyond fine with that, you hated Americans, simply because you hated violence and guns were the big no on your weaponry list of avoidance. You didn't mind weapons in video games, those were harmless to the outside world. You didn't mind verbal violence though, it was all you had to defend yourself with and in Sheffield, that was better than nothing. You were very short tempered when it came to your anger but you found that it was either verbal or physical, you chose to be verbal.

You looked at your phone for any messages from (b/f) and had a good luck message. You replied with a smiley face and a "ill need all the luck I can get. I've heard from a few employees that he can be a real asshole for no reason and fires people just because they made eye contact for too long. It's like he suspects someone is out for his blood."

After 2 minutes you received a reply from from them. "You better be on your best behaviour then, young lady!"

"That's the problem. I wonder what the record is for the quickest a person has got fired? Because I may break that, you know me! I don't exactly do as I'm told, that's why finding a job has been so hard. Anyway, I best get ready, gotta look the part! First impressions and all!" You replied with a nervous face. What you failed to notice was the red string no longer pointing towards the sky and you were making it shorter with every step you took. You did give up on finding out about the strange dot and came to the assumption that it fell in a lake, there were plenty of them around.

You walked into the swanky looking hotel and noticed the cobwebs that definitely were not there two days ago when you had your interview, yet they looked like they had been there for weeks. You would have put it down to Halloween decorations if it wasn't for the fact that it was June. You decided to not ask in case this was some sort of strange new American trend that your boss was following to help bring in the youth. It does help make it fit into Sheffield a lot more with the run down and abandoned look. It would need some rust, water damage, mold and cracks to finish the look but it was a start. If you had to be honest, the spider webs helped bring the place together. It was way too posh for Sheffield but you had to lie and say you love it in order to get hired. Just from that lie alone you knew exactly the personality of your boss, arrogant, vain and ignorant.

"Hello, you must be my new helper! I'm Najia, your second in command here. As you can see, there are loads of spider webs so they should be priority. If you could start cleaning in the south west second floor and continue that floor, that would be amazing. Now here's your cleaning trolley and if you happen to finish the floor early, send me a little message through the walkie talkie and I'll give you another room or floor. Do you have any questions?" Najia spoke softly. She seemed lovely and it was shame that she had to be in a place that would get more damage than its worth.

"Just one question: why so many spider webs?"

"I don't know, they just seemed to have appeared, I thought it was silly string from some teenagers that managed to break in somehow but it is actual spider web. It wasn't here when I left last night. I guess I'll have to ask someone about that."

And with that you separated and got to your floor when you finally noticed a slight burning sensation on your finger, it wasn't hurtful. It was like putting the finger in a really hot bath. You looked down and noticed it now pointed downhill and seemed to be glowing a shade of gold ever so gently that you would miss it if the weird sensation didn't make you look.

You left your trolley outside a toilet to make it seem like you were in there when really you had wondered off to follow the string. You would probably lose yourself in the maze of hallways that all looked the same as the last if the string didn't help lead you to a ballroom. You opened the door and instantly screamed. A giant spider was walking towards you, however you couldn't get out, you had used a staff door which needed a key card to use from this side as the other side still needed to be fitted and you left yours in the trolley, near the toilets. And the massive spider seemed to be blocking the other way out so you were trapped.

You weren't scared of spiders but seeing them at the size of a van did intimidate you. You started shaking from fear of what it would do to you. Out of pure instinct, you put your hand out to protect yourself and the sound of 8 legs against wooden flooring had ceased. The only sound was your laboured breathing. It stayed like this for what seemed like hours but in actuality was only 5 minutes. You opened your eyes slowly to see 8 more stare right back. 8 eyes that showed fear but no intention of harm. Instead the spider gave you space to breathe by walking back a few feet. Then it seemed to be watching you, studying your next move to see if you were a threat and whether or not it should kill you.

You stayed still for a moment, wrapping your head around what had just happened before gently walking towards the creature with both hands forward to show them clean of weapons. You decided to try and speak to the spider to see if it can understand you.

"Hello. I'm new around here, I'm sorry if I'm trespassing on your area, I wasn't aware of you being here to be honest. I mean you no harm, if anything, I want to help you but unfortunately, I'm stuck in here aswell." You spoke carefully as if it was a child that was afraid. You gently put your hand in its head and it seemed to understand your good intentions and your situation as it let you pet it. Now you were close, you started to admire it and realised it wasn't poisonous or venomous, it was just a regular house spider. But you couldn't figure out how or why it got this big but it did explain the cobwebs everywhere.

You had been with the spider for hours and it seemed like Najia either didn't care or has gotten fired as she hasn't asked about you. You had spent the time talking or singing to the spider. She, as you found out after looking it up, seemed to put her body around you to protect you. You had even met a couple of her children as they gave you food from the cafeteria to nibble on when your stomach growled.

Eventually the burning on your fingers turned up massively and was causing you pain. The spider seemed to sense this and wrapped her web around your finger to help cool it down a little. It didn't help but you showed gratitude anyway as she was only trying to help in anyway she could. You gave her a small smile and her eyes seemed to show sympathy in return.

Then the doors opened again and the sound of several feet walked in. "Oh thank god. I thought I was never going to be found in here." You thought to yourself as you heard the voices mumble to each other and probably about Betty and what's the best way to get rid of her. You would have paid more attention if your finger didn't feel like it had caught fire and was tight as if your soulmate was amongst those that had walked in.

Now you were nervous. How would you introduce yourself? What did they look like? Were they male or female, not that you really cared? So many questions made you feel lightheaded so you grabbed onto Betty to keep yourself planted.

Then the door opened again and a familiar voice echoed in the hall and you knew exactly how he'd want to deal with Betty and after your bond today, you would rather die than her. She was obviously innocent here and maybe the others could see it. Then you heard the familiar click of a gun safety being taken off and your body reacted before your mind did and you jumped in front of her to stop him, although you had a feeling it wouldn't, but it was worth a shot for the others to stop him.

"Don't you fucking dare shoot that gun Dickhead! Not without going through me!" You spoke with fire in your eyes and maybe a slight mix if fear aswell. That's when you looked over at the new group of people. They all seemed trustworthy enough.

There was Najia, who welcomed you here earlier and she looked sad, so she had definitely been fired. Then there was another woman who looked a lot like her, you guessed she was a daughter or something and she was pretty and definitely somone with authority with the way she stood and held herself, maybe she is a police officer? A man who looked as though he was in his 50s and definitely did not belong in this weird group. A young man who looked of a similar age to the police woman, maybe they are friends.

Then you laid your eyes on one of the most beautiful woman, no, human, you had ever seen and would probably never see again. She had short blonde hair in a bob. They seemed to be brunette at the root. She had beautiful chocolate honey eyes that glimmers with so much emotion and age well beyond her years, like she had experienced thousands of years before this moment. You also noticed her odd sense of style but you admired her boldness and it did look amazing on her. You decided she could only be described as sunshine and rainbows.

Then you noticed her hand And a familiar red string that was also glowing a beautiful subtle gold. Like millions of tiny golden stars circled around the string in a beautiful dance of love. Your eyes started to follow the string down and back to your own. She was your soulmate. That goddess that stood before you, was to be yours forever some day.

Then you looked into her hypnotic eyes before you remembered where you were and what situation you were in. And you realised everyone was staring at you for your previous action towards a spider.

"If you want to keep your job, I'd suggest you move out of the way silly girl!" Your boss grumbled in a threatening tone.

"Nope. You are about to hurt an innocent creature that is stuck and terrified. You built on top of landfill and didn't bother to check and thought of no consequences. This is your fault. Is this how you would treat a child that was a mistake after a one night stand or something? Would you shoot a child that had no choice?" You spoke with confidence yet more nerves now she was there listening to every word. When he didn't answer you shouted "Answer me! Would you shoot your mistake of a child?"

He glared at you. "This is different. This is an animal. A pest. It needs to be killed so more can't be born! I made my mistake and now I'm fixing it!" He bellowed just seconds before a shot was made from his gun. You had expected pain but instead you heard a horrible shriek from behind you.

You quickly turned around and petted her whilst whispering sweet words as she took her last breath. You stood up and made your way over to the murderer. You couldn't stand him and you were so tempted to take his gun and shoot him with it, but you didn't. With fire in your eyes and pure hatred, you slapped him hard enough to leave a mark and maybe a bruise as a reminder of his shitty choices. "You can't fire me because I fucking quit you arrogant dick! She had caused no harm to you or I and I'm sure if you would have sorted it sooner, so many more lives could have been saved as she only had humans because flies didn't fill her anymore! She was so kind and just so afraid. I hope you lose everything you pathetic sad sack of boiled shit! You are truest one of the lowest excuses for a human I have ever met and if we meet again please be very afraid, because next time, it won't just be a slap you have to worry about! It'll be your balls as I cut them off beacuse men like you shouldn't repopulate the planet! You horrid scum! I hope your empire fucking collapses!" You spoke with venom lacing every word. You were seething and boy did his face look punchable. Instead you walked away with your middle finger proudly being the last thing he sees as you walk out the normal doors.

Once you were outside, you sat in the steps and finally let out all the emotions. You cried so hard, over your loss of yet another job and a newly found friend. You screamed at him with a string of curses that would offend just about anybody. You suddenly felt somone sit at the side of you. You knew who it was when the string was burning more than ever before and yet you couldn't feel it over the pain your heart.

"You did brilliant back there. You chose, not just your job, but your life over a creature you barely even knew! If you wouldn't have jumped in when you did, I don't think her children would've had a chance to escape to my TARDIS because he's going on a hunt right now for the rest of them. Sure, you didn't save her but you saved so many more lives than you think. And I know each one is eternally grateful for what you did. I know I would be." Her words were certain and sympathetic. They seemed to calm you down instantly. Or maybe is was the way she talked that helped with her soft but strong voice and you knew you already couldn't get enough like it was the best drug ever. You could listen to her all day and yet, she had said very little to you. It was a strange effect but you liked it.

She fell into a silence for a while just keeping you company as you came to terms with had happened.