#which was a good 15 minutes before it was unbearable and i had to get boyfriend to take me home

[beansnpeets]

Boyfriend's sister and her husband arrived yesterday evening because I am taking them dog sledding today. They brought their dog with to boyfriend's house. 10 minutes after they arrived I began to have an allergic reaction. This was one of the worse ones I have had. I have also had this reaction when I met my sister's cat for the first time. Most other times I have had these reactions have been seemingly random. But this was absurd. I will go get an allergy test.

I work with 40 dogs at the kennel and have interacted with countless other dogs over the years, but in the last few years I have random allergic reactions sometimes when I meet a new animal. And this dog is so big and cute and soft and sweet and I want to love on him, but I can't ☹️ what kind of cruelty is that!

[atrirose]

✶ FOCUS — p.sunghoon

사랑 tutor!sunghoon x f!r . . . 📁 warning. kissing, use of pet names ! + FLUFF ★ seiu msg: yk i had to go feral, rbs/feedbacks are appreciated

sunghoon sighed after feeling your intense stare for the the past 15 minutes “is there something on my face, yn or the stuff i’m teaching not piquing your interest” you tilt your head “why would you think that” he sighed again “because when you were assigned to me by the teacher for tutoring, i didn’t expect you would be staring at me the whole time instead of learning” sunghoon might be the heartthrob of the school but to you he was just a normal friend, in fact an unbearable one but this is all weird, why did he looks so hot all of a sudden?

“i wasn’t staring” you said as you looked down at your book “yeah sure whatever, so as i was saying this should go over-” blurry, his voice was blurry, he was so pretty, those glasses framed his face well, his long sleeves folded to show his veiny arms, his long and smooth fingers holding the pen “so if you carry this here” he cleared his throat to get your attention back at the book.

“are you getting turned on by my charms,yn” sunghoon smiled still not looking at you “shut up, it’s just the glasses” you looked at the book infront of you again “didn’t know you are into that stuff” he said smirking “it’s not that, it’s just- um new” you mentally cursed yourself for hesitating so much, it will just get to his head.

“yeah sure” he said sarcastically as he brushed a strand of hair from your face, at this point he just trying to get a reaction out of you “your cheeks are red” he said as he brushed over your cheeks, you looked at him, all weird this is all weird, why would this get you worked up? why would your best friend get you all flustered?, glasses really suited him, he looked so gorgeous “are in love yn” he said giggling “no, nothing lovable about you” you said with a pout, he leaned in as he pecked it

you were caught off guard, eyes widen but he looked so composed like all of this was meant to be “idiot” he said before kissing you again, this time it wasn’t short it was soft, his warm lips moved against yours as his hands cupped your face, smiles erupted on his face when he pulled away “you look like an idiot” he said going back to the book infront of him “OH HELL NAH! you can’t just kiss me and call me an idiot then go back like nothing happened” you pulled him back so he was facing you “do you want something to happen then” he said confused “look i know you hate me”

“who said i hate you?” you said still looking at his lips which were now coated with your lipgloss, it’s now time for sunghoon to go wide eyes “you’re making it awkward just staring at me like that” you said and before you know it he leaned in for another kiss, you smiled as he kissed you, he pulled back trying to remove his glasses but you stopped him “so you really get turned on by this huh?” he laughed as you smacked him “you just look good with it”

“i look so good that you keep messing your solution, hmm darling” he spoke softly in your ear, his breath tickling your eyes with his breath “stop making it sound so creepy” he giggled as he pulled himself back against you, his hands around your waist as he whispers against your lips “if i had known that these glasses would be the enough for you to confess your feelings for me, i would have worn them sooner” you bit his lips “ouch what was that for?”

“i didn’t confess yet” you said facing the books again “now teach me before i find your replacement”

“as you say princess”

[cator99]

was the butress performance shit or what? i heard some thing about it but i wasnt there

Tell me more.......

She got there 15 minutes before doors because canadian border security is hell on earth and held her up for 5 hours searching their shit. Been there– hard to blame her for being exhausted. They've been doing shows back to back every day for this tour and the crowd was dogshit. Her set was short bc she was an opening act, but she played a good mix of songs from Behind Every Good Man and Endofunctor, and ended with Pilgrims (insane)– I loved it, and was lucky to be standing next to the only other person in the audience who had come there just for her. This woman was losing it while most people up front were clearly just parking their ugly asses waiting for Zheani, standing still looking bored and slightly annoyed. She definitely took time to shit on the fact that most people only know her song Brutus from tiktok and seemed to resent it which made the Zheani fans squirm even more. Pretty much everything about her art and New Jersey swag is a total affront to the Toronto sensibility. I get that teaming up with Zheani was the only feasible way for her to tour as a niche artist, and I fw Zheani (ok, fine, I only really like BWC. Lol), but her fans are primarily just fucking unbearable. She gave as much as the circumstance allowed. This was not the church show!

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Not relevant to this blog at all, but I have a HUGE health update for my current condition.

I saw a rheumatologist for the first time today. :)

I've had lupus and arthritis symptoms since 9 years old, and I'm 24 now. For this entire time, I've been unmedicated, and my conditions have worsened severely and tremendously, making it impossible to walk but only limp, and I sometimes have to use a wheelchair. I had to give up all physical activity a few years ago, and it has since progressed to the point I cannot stand for more than a few minutes at a time. My pain has been unbearable, affecting both my wake and sleep, and I'm never without pain. I haven't been since 9 years old. Nothing OTC works even slightly, not a damn thing in human history. It never has.

Today, my rheumatologist and I met for the first time. I was scared. I'm not in good health at all, I'm suffering and it shows, and I didn't know what she'd say.

However, she wants to help me. She gave me TONS of blood work slips, which I have not gotten any drawn for about 2 years now purely out of my paralyzing fear of needles. I'm way overdue, and now it's caught up. I likely have to split the draw into 2 days with how much it'll take from me. I'm not sure the number of vials, but considering my record is 12 in one go, I'm not sure how much worse it can get.

Anyway, I'm going tomorrow for the draw. It'll be 3 weeks before the results are in, give or take, but it's worth it. Take it all if you have to. I just want help with this pain.

But this is the first step.

The first step toward managing my pain after 15 goddamn relentless years of increasing agony.

Here's to the best. Here's to my results coming back asap, and my rheumatologist giving me meds to help.

Because fuck I'm crying in pain literally as I type this. Everything aches all at once. Nothing will stop.

[pannotian]

If I was a braver person hereditary would be one of my favorite movies. By all means I loved it and it was great, but I don't think I could watch it ever again. In fact pretty much any a24 movie should be making my top 5 list ( except pearl booo pearl), but they're such good viewing experiences because they keep you tense and invested. I need like a 2 year break before I can consider rewatching. But it was So Good.

The hardest part was getting past the initial arc of Charlie's death because. . I hate kids dying and especially weird kids. But after that I couldn't turn away. The ending was a very eerie relaxation that I don't see anywhere else. The 15 minute chase(?) Scene was extremely scary and pretty much the only non psychological horror( while still being psychological horror) and it felt like punishment and a sweet treat.

The family dynamic was extremely reminiscent of how life looked during quarantine which also made it kind of unbearable. And investing. Tbh I was acting like charlie during that time and my grandma died and my aunt had a spiritual awakening and was trying to convert(?) us. And my brother had a weed problem. Added another layer to the horror.

Overall 10/10 great movie I'm just a pussy.

I knew this movie would chase me down eventually because the first time I left half way. So thank yew kol

[dollsonmain]

Ok, Son's at school. I didn't realize they're getting out early on Thursday instead of on Friday, so I have a lot less alone time before another long holiday break than I thought.

Ugh. I do honestly like spending time with my Son, but not the noise videos he likes. They hurt. He's good about understanding when I can't take it anymore, though, and will either go in another room or is comfortable with me going down to the basement for a while.

I think maybe we'll listen to some of those records that I found unbearable together over the holiday. I think Son might like those, and while I don't like them, it doesn't mean he's not allowed to.

Still need to get a record cleaning kit.

-

That Guy is pushing both Son and me to get jobs somewhere in town without cars. I'm like, how we get to work????

He usually yells at me that I'm making excuses, then yesterday in the car yelled that he'd drive us, and had already said that.

He never said that.

He said he'd get Son a car once Son got his license, and then Son could take himself to work, and every time I mention how would I get to work he's said I'm making excuses and also said that I'd get the job first and then we'd figure out transportation which is illogical.

Not once did he say he intended to personally drive us to work, at least not until yesterday.

I don't think he means that anyway.

How's he going to do that? He leaves for work at 5 am, and if I don't start until like 9am to 6pm because I'd have to work full time to qualify for insurance which is what this is all about, I mean, I'm not sitting around my workplace for an extra 4-5 hours before my shift especially if I happen to find an office job and the office is closed until work time. That's just not possible in the winter.

Then he has to be home in time to drive Son to work after school but if he's not getting to work himself until 9 or 10 am because he has to drive me, then he's not getting home until 7 or 8 because it's a long commute (1 hr 15 minutes one way) to HIS work, and Son's work would probably be something like 5 to 10pm because he is a teenager in school.

Then he'd be having to go pick me up around 6 pm, and Son at maybe 10pm. They'd get home around 11.

The only other option is that I manage to stumble upon some legitimate work-from-home (I'd rather work outside and interact with people; I've been trapped in this house and isolated for 16 years) or work overnights, but he's vetoed the idea of me working nights because he doesn't want to sleep alone.

Depending on where Son and I would be working we might be able to manage our schedules such that Son goes to work right after school (5pm or so start time, gives him time to come home, shower, get dressed, and leave again) and then I start work when Son's shift is ending so that That Guy makes one trip to town to drop Son off at work, another to pick up Son and drop me off and that would be roughly 9:30 pm to 10:30 pm if we happen to work in the same place or at least nearby each other. He'd get home and get to bed around 11. Then That Guy has to come and get me at 7am which is right after Son gets on the bus (meaning That Guy would have to get up with Son in the morning to make sure he got on the bus because I wouldn't be there), bring me home, and then he might be leaving for work around 8:30 am assuming he did his morning get-ready before leaving to get me. Gets to work at 9:30, works the full shift so off work at 6:30 pm, then gets home at 7:30, though more like 8:30 or even 9 due to rush hour traffic out of the DC Metro area and at that point Son's missed most of his work shift...

It's the same as the insurance thing. He demands it happens then gets in the way of it happening and blames others for it not happening.

What he needs to do to make this work the way he wants it to is get at least one more car that son and I could share or for us to move somewhere the two of us can walk to work.

Either way, it's going to cost him money to not have to spend his money on us and he's short circuiting trying to figure out how to make this all work without him spending any money.

[finkinthisfrew]

Anything (Pt.45)

cw: loved one in the hospital

The second the seatbelt sign turned off I bolted out of my seat and sprinted up to the front of the plane. I didn't care if I was that arsehole who shoved his way to the front. All I cared about was Anna.

The flight had been excruciatingly long. The pain in my heart, searing and agonizingly deep, felt like it couldn't get any worse. I was wrong though, when I realized halfway through the flight that this must have been how Anna felt when she flew across the world to help me- stuck on a 12-hour long flight, unable to help or do anything outside of worry and cry. I already knew how much stress I'd put her through, but to live through it myself made knowing the pain I caused her unbearable.

After the flight attendants finally opened the doors (which I had been seconds away from wrenching open myself) I sprinted down the jetway, through the airport, past baggage claim and out the doors where threw myself into the first taxi I could find.

The cab ride went by agonizingly slow, and the fact that Juliette wasn't answering her phone didn't help. She'd texted me while I was on my flight telling me she was heading home to sleep for a few hours since the doctors didn't think Anna would be awake for quite a while- apparently, the levels of Rohypnol they found in her were quite high. I gave up on Juliette and sent a text to George to let him know I landed safely and thanked him once again for the ticket. I knew I wasn't capable of expressing just how grateful I truly was for him right now, but I tried anyway and promised myself I'd call him later to thank him properly.

Right after I hit send on the text, my phone began to ring. I looked at the number, recognizing it immediately as my manager's South American number. I sighed as I looked outside the cab at the motorway, knowing I was still at least 15 minutes away from the hospital, so I hit answer and grumbled a hello as I gazed out the window at the passing cars.

"Hey Matty, how was the flight? Are you doing alright? Is she doing alright?" he asked kindly.

"Long. Not good. Not sure. Just in a cab heading to the hospital now," I answered flatly. I didn't have any emotional energy left for manners.

"Well, I know you have a lot on your plate right now but, err, unfortunately... I'm not sure how to tell you this, but I have to be the bearer of more bad news," he said nervously.

I felt too numb to care, so I didn't respond. Nothing could be worse than what was happening to Anna right now. Nothing else mattered.

After several moments of silence, my manager could tell I wasn't planning on responding, so he continued.

"... I'm afraid... well, I'm afraid there's been another article written about you and Anna," he admitted. "And it's just as unkind as the last one. Honestly, it may be worse."

I winced as I let my face fall into the palm of my hand. I tried to massage the stress out of my forehead to no avail.

"Summarize it for me," I replied as I rubbed my temples.

"They took a lot of photos of you two while she was visiting, Matty- kissing in public in the city and alleyways and in the ocean. They have closeups- admittedly, grainy- of lovebites on Anna's neck. There's also a photo of your chest all scratched up on stage at the concert which they've quoted you from, saying that you pay Anna to kiss you and that you've confirmed it yourself that Anna is a call-girl... They're calling her all sorts of names, as well as you... I won't lie, Matty. It's unrelentingly vulgar and critical. It's bad."

My blood boiled, and if I had any energy left at all, I would be slamming my fist into the seat in front of me and yelling curses out the window. All I could muster was a clenched fist and a muttered 'fuck' as I tried to suppress the angry tears that threatened to fall.

"I'm sorry Matty, but you needed to know. The boys told me to wait to tell you, but I thought you'd rather know so you can prep Anna before she can find out in whatever state she may be in..."

"No, thank you, I appreciate that. Thank you for telling me," I responded, sincerity lacing my angry tone. "I'll call you later today."

"Hopefully with better news, right mate?"

I sighed.

"Hopefully... Talk soon," I said. I hung up and immediately pushed the conversation aside in my mind. I was dreading telling Anna, but that was much lower on my list of worries. All that mattered now was seeing Anna and making sure she was okay.

Once the car finally rolled to a stop outside the doors of the hospital, I threw open the door and ran in and up to the front desk. After trying and only half-failing to sound calm when speaking to the receptionist, I was relieved when someone showed up merely a couple of minutes later to usher me up to the sixth floor. I was so anxious to see Anna that I was barely paying attention to the nurse who led the way out of the elevator.

"... and she's been steady ever since we took her off the ventilator. She was in decent spirits earlier, so she's just resting now," said the nurse as my ears finally perked up.

"Huh? She was awake?" I asked, caught off guard.

"Yes," the nurse offered a kind smile. "Only for a bit. She's quite exhausted, her body went through a lot. But she's handling it well."

The nurse politely pointed out the last door on the left, and I couldn't get down the hallway fast enough. I only stopped once I reached the doorway, freezing right in my tracks as I finally saw her.

She looked angelic, laying there in the early morning sun which streamed in through the hospital blinds onto her peaceful face. Even in her current state, she was breathtaking.

Slowly, I approached the bed. I dragged the armchair up to the edge and sat down before carefully taking Anna's hand in mine. She didn't move as I grazed my thumb against the back of her hand.

It broke my heart to see her like this, she looked so small and so frail in the hospital bed, her skin pale against the grey of the sheets. And yet, I could see her body was fighting. I sniffed quietly as I scanned her face, taking in the rosiness that stained her cheeks and the soft pink of her lips. That was what I loved so much about her- that no matter what was thrown at her, she pushed through. She was too small for this pain, too fragile. And yet every time the world threw something at her, she stayed strong. She was resilient.

I couldn't help the tears as they welled in my eyes, overwhelmed by my love for her. I clamped my other hand over my mouth to hold back a sob. We'd been through so much together, and apart, and I never thought ever in my life I could be as happy as I was when I was with Anna. She was so perfect, and as undeserving as I felt, I knew in this moment that I'd never let her go. No matter what. We were for each other, and there was nothing I wouldn't do for her. Nothing.

I reached out to gently brush a strand of hair from her perfect face, tucking it behind her ear as I caressed her cheek, savouring the warmth of her skin under my hand. Her eyelashes fluttered in response to my touch.

"Anna," I whispered softly with hope.

Her eyes opened, her hazy beautiful green gaze turned towards me, and my heart stopped.

[whumpitlikeyoumeanit]

Whumpuary 15

Whumpuary prompts should theoretically make up one cohesive narrative, though I'm not currently putting in the effort to flesh out the story around the prompts just yet. I have good intentions to do so eventually. Masterlist. Oh yeah and they're totally out of order, chronologically.

((content warnings: -- ))

promptspiration: @whumpuary 15: Aftermath

Whumpee: Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter Whumper: Voldemort Pairing: Harry/Draco whump type: recovery fic type: Deathly Hallows "Voldemort learns Draco hooked up with Harry" AU

After the battle

words: ~1200

-------------------

The milling in the Great Hall was weird. Draco was sitting being tended by Madam Pomfrey; between the Blood Replenishing potion and the bandaged snakebites, he was feeling quite himself. His mother was standing over his shoulder, holding his hand, and neither of them was inclined to let go; her other hand occasionally ran through his hair, wordlessly fussing about how terrible it looked, which, honestly, fair enough. He let her transfigure it to whatever style she wanted.

And that was such a strange thing to be able to be concerned about. Appearances. The only time he'd thought about his hair in months was when somebody grabbed it to yank him around. And now that was over.

He couldn't stop looking at all these people, walking around, free, no longer having to look over their shoulders. It seemed like he wasn't the only one. Dozens of witches and wizards milling about, all seemingly waiting for something, in weird subdued conversations and occasional strange outbursts of laughter and shushing. No one else could believe it was really over, either. 

Voices by the door raised in a way that Draco sensed meant Harry Potter, and he stood to get a look. Pomfrey released him from her ministrations but he hardly noticed. Harry had gone with the Aurors at first, and he hadn't expected him to come back… But there he was, messy dark head in a knot of redheads helping him get through the crowd.

He made his way straight toward him, and Draco squeezed his mother's hand and looked at her to take his leave, just for a couple minutes; she let him go, and he met Harry a few steps away. 

It felt weird to smile now, but he couldn't help it. Harry caught his eye and grinned, too. They stopped awkwardly at a normal conversation distance, Harry with his hands in his pockets and Draco fidgeting with his bandaged arm, and Harry was just staring at him, so he sort of returned the favour. It was unbelievable that he was actually standing here, alive… He looked exhausted, of course, but he was alive to look anything.

"You okay?" Harry asked.

"Should probably go to the hospital, but I'll live. Have to find Snape and thank him. What about you? How are you alive?"

"That's a long, weird story. But it's real, it's not borrowed time or anything."

"Oh good, now we can call you 'the boy who just keeps on living'." Harry laughed, and he smiled again for a moment. "You know, you could have been much more clear. You say 'hold on' and I'm supposed to remember the one time years ago you mentioned grabbing Quirrel when Voldemort was in him?"

Harry grinned. "It worked, didn't it?" 

"No thanks to your terrible instructions." 

Harry laughed, but it sounded a little uncomfortable, and he sobered. "I actually hoped he'd try the Killing Curse," he admitted. 

"'Hoped'?" He'd lived in terror of the day Voldemort finally would cast that curse on him for too long — the idea of it actually being the plan was unbearable.

"And it would rebound on him, like before," Harry explained. "When he used the snake, I thought…" He shook his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to be in that situation."

"When you're in a position where a Killing Curse is the best case scenario, I don't think you can be blamed for anything you come up with," Draco allowed. "I don't know how else I would have come out of that alive."

"Not just for that." Harry shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and looked toward the broken windows. "For everything he's done to you. I could see it, I know how awful it was, and I'm just… I'm sorry." 

"That's not your fault either. I got caught. I should have run better, or…" He shrugged a little bit. "It was him, anyway. Not you. What do you mean, you could 'see it'?" 

"That's another part of the weird story, but I could see through his eyes, sometimes. When he was emotional, or when he wanted me to."

"So when he was being conversational, he wasn't talking to me," Draco mused, almost to himself. "He was speaking directly to you."

"Yeah."

"That sounds… horrifying. I guess we know why you look like you haven't slept in six months." 

"That bad?"

"It's not great." But he wasn't in much a position to comment on that, he supposed. Perhaps a change of subject was in order. "How's Ollivander?" 

"Getting better. I imagine you'll see him at the hospital, now it's safe to take him there." 

"That's good." His restless hands had almost unwound the bandage on his wrist, and he only noticed when it hurt to touch; he tucked the bandage back down to stop that. "My father…"

Harry shook his head. "I don't know, Draco."

"He was trying to save me, in his way."

"'His way' was trying to be the best Death Eater he could."

"I know," he admitted. "That was all he could see to do, especially after they sent Mother away. He was only allowed a wand back after she was hurt." 

Harry  looked at him for a moment, then nodded thoughtfully. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you." He looked down. "For a while there, I hated you," he admitted. "I'd have handed you over in a second if I had any way to. I'm sorry for that."

"You don't have to be. I'm surprised you don't still hate me."

He shook his head and looked elsewhere. He could explain, eventually, maybe, but he'd rather just be here now, not back there in his mind. 

A thought occurred to him, and he blinked back to Harry. "If you expected him to use the Killing Curse on me… it wasn't your intention for me to use the protection that burned him…?"

Harry freed one hand and scratched his head. "I'm glad you thought of it?"

"Merlin… This is a shoddily planned operation, isn't it…" Somehow knowing that hadn't been part of anyone's master plan made it all so much more alarming. He'd just up and grabbed Voldemort — Voldemort — and no one had been expecting it? What if no one had been quick enough to pick up on it? He should be so utterly dead right now… 

"It came out all right," Harry said, and shuffled his feet awkwardly. "Anyway, I should let you get back to your…" 

"Yeah, you too…" Neither of them moved quite yet, though.

"Kiss him already!" someone called in an Irish brogue.

Harry groaned and dropped his chin to his chest. Draco looked up and realised they had an audience; not everyone was staring, but there certainly were lot of people pretending not to.

What the hell; he liked being the centre of attention. He had to wait a second for Harry to look up again, and he looked like he was about to say something, but Draco grabbed his hand and kissed him instead.

[yokelish]

So here's a fun story of mine.

I respect medical professionals. And by that, I mean good medical professionals.

About four years ago I started to seriously try to figure out why my headaches and migraines were getting progressively worse with age. And other symptoms started to appear too: nausea, sensitivity to light and sounds, loss of time and vision, absence of short-term memory, extreme exhaustion, and neck pain. So much pain. There were days when all I wanted to do was lay in bed and whine from pain.

So, I did what any rational adult would. And got a medical appointment. A physician looked at me, ordered a few blood tests, and asked about my family history, etc.

In the end, I was given a very mediocre medication the details of which don't matter. But I had to take it every day because it was preventative. And for a while, it seemed like it worked. But I had a bad reaction to the medication and it had to be removed. Once I was put off the medication, it all returned just as before. I remember telling my partner at the time without a hint of irony if I had a gun in this house, today would be my last day alive. That's how miserable I felt at that time.

So, I was directed to a neurologist. And I went. And he did what a neurologist does. Then I asked him if I should get an MRI, just to be sure, just so we know it's definitely not the brain. He said it wasn't needed.

He said it wasn't uncommon for women to have migraines. In fact, women are more likely to get them.

Yes, some of your other symptoms are a bit unusual but they are temporary.

He said I passed all the tests, and I was fine.

He said if I didn't have any recent head traumas, it was quite unnecessary.

It's a complex procedure (spoiler: it isn't), why would you want to be on a waitlist for months for nothing?

And so I didn't push him. I had to go through a drug trial to find what worked for my migraines now. I was tested for intracranial hypertension; they suggested lifestyle changes. Little adjustments to help out with the headaches and neck tension. And then slowly I grew complacent with it. Put the frog in boiling water and it will jump right out. But put in cold water and slowly heat it up, it won't be able to tell the difference. Life started to happen. I buried a friend. The pandemic. My MDD started to take priority over the headaches.

And then I almost went fully blind in one eye for 15 minutes. For no apparent reason.

What were you doing when it happened?

Uuugh, nothing. I was just reading in bed, laying funny. When I started losing vision in my left eye, I thought it was eye strain. But about two minutes later I realized it sure wasn't that. I immediately got up and went to my partner. When I explained what was happening to me and we got ready to go to the hospital, it started to come back. That's why I am here.

That didn't happen.

What?

And the neck pain was increasing. The intensity of the pain in my head kept increasing. The periods of those episodes continued to grow.

I have since moved. Got a new physician. And, I guess, I had a bad episode. There was a day I was in pain, I was miserable. I made an appointment ASAP. He is a great doctor. He is willing to put up with my demands for MDD medication, migraines. Even the smallest ear infections. There wasn't a time I came to him with a problem and he tried to rationalize it to me.

Ear infection?

Yes, you have it. It doesn't seem serious right now, so just over-the-counter medication will do. But if you don't feel any better, or even worse tomorrow, do let me know.

So, after that bad episode, I decided I can't be fucked anymore. Enough is enough. The pain was unbearable. I am a working, reasonably healthy adult, I can't be in this much pain without a cause. Unless they've checked for everything, EVERYTHING in the books and it came empty, only then would I accept that this pain was something I had to live with.

What I did was fucked up. Don't do that. But what I said to him, I meant with every cell of my being.

I want an MRI. And if it comes empty, order whatever test you can think of, no matter how invasive. Because this pain is getting worse, there are days when holding up my head is a conscious task. There are days when doing anything other than lying horizontally is a teeth-grinding endeavor. When I lower my chin, I can feel something along my spine, like a cord being pulled, not in a healthy muscle-stretching way, there is a tension that I don't think should be there.

And then he asked me how bad I would rate the pain on the worst day.

If this pain continues to increase at the rate it has been, I won't be alive by the time I am 31. I will take my own life.

And I was ordered an MRI. Not to say how ridiculously long I had to wait for an hour-long procedure where a big loud machine just scans your head.

And the doctor's office for the first time asks me to come in for the test results.

Your brain is healthy. But we found something in your neck.

And I felt giddy like a child who was promised candy. I wasn't insane. It wasn't "one of those things that women have to deal with". Fuck you, the professional who told me this. I sincerely hope you get sued. I'd sue you myself but I can't be fucked to be bothered with that right now.

My health care professional suspects syringomyelia. A fluid cyst in my spinal cord. I will have to go through more tests to see what it is for sure, what is the cause, and how bad it's gotten.

The point is

If one fucker decided to listen and not to rationalize a woman HER OWN Pain, if one fucker agreed to order a fairly simple medical test, perhaps this cyst probably could have been discovered THREE-MOTHERFUCKING-YEARS AGO.

[rmadridcore]

Between Us - Part 2

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Reader

Summary: You and Kylian have been inseparable friends for years, but when unspoken feelings bubble to the surface, everything changes.

Word Count: 3.1K

Part 1 Part 3 Epilogue

Masterlist

Author's note: I was thinking to post this today after the game but Real Madrid most likely won’t give us anything to be happy about lmao so here it is 😭 Thank you so so much to everyone who read the first part, I'm so glad you enjoyed it 🥹 Let me know what you think about this one. All the love 💕🎀 - Ellie.

Mornings used to be your favorite time when you were a kid. Waking up always meant you’d soon be seeing Kylian. You two would meet right before school and walk there together every morning, no matter the weather. While dreary Parisian Mondays weren’t particularly fun for a child, for you, they always meant another day spent with him.

But now, mornings weren’t the same. They were quiet, lonely even. You woke up alone, the excitement of seeing Kylian long gone, replaced by the daily grind of adulthood.

After getting out of bed, you stuck to your usual routine: skincare, coffee, jog. It had become your ritual, a way to fill the silence.

After slipping into your workout clothes and putting on your favorite playlist, you headed to the nearby park for a morning run. Usually, the steady rhythm of your feet hitting the pavement and the rush of fresh air helped clear your mind. But not today. Today, Kylian lingered in your thoughts, as he often did. It had been a week since that night at the gala, and the memory of nearly confessing your feelings for him still haunted you. But, like always, you had pulled yourself back at the last moment, the familiar self-control overpowering your desire.

Jogging normally helped push away intrusive thoughts, the early-morning energy a distraction from whatever was troubling you. But Kylian was different. Thoughts of him stuck like glue, impossible to shake. He had that kind of grip on people. Once you knew him, truly knew him, it was impossible not to crave his presence. He was magnetic, and the thought of losing him was unbearable. And, of course, for you, it was worse. You were in love with him — hopelessly, endlessly, in love with your best friend.

Without realizing it, you had started running faster, pushing yourself harder, as though you could outrun your feelings. Your lungs burned, and you finally stopped, collapsing onto a nearby bench, gasping for air. Sweat dripped down your forehead, your breath coming in ragged bursts. As you tried to steady yourself, you felt someone approach.

“I have to admit, I was hoping to bump into you somewhere,” a voice said, slightly breathless.

You looked up, still catching your breath. “Louis,” you smiled, surprised to see him. “Good to see you, too.”

He smiled warmly, pulling out his earphones. “I jog here almost every morning and I’ve never seen you around.”

“I used to come more often,” you explained, still breathing heavily. “Work’s been crazy lately.”

“Well, I’m glad you took the time today,” he said, and the two of you began walking together.

The conversation flowed easily, just like it had at the gala. Louis was a great conversationalist. Smooth, engaging, and polite. He knew how to ask the right questions and keep things moving without any awkward pauses, which you appreciated, since that was never your strong suit. His energy was light and refreshing, and for a brief moment, you managed to forget about Kylian.

After about 15 minutes of walking and talking, Louis’ phone rang. He glanced at the screen and then at you with a soft smile. “Looks like I have to get to work.”

As you both prepared to part ways, Louis hesitated, then asked, “Y/N, could I get your number? I’d love to meet up again with you.”

You froze for a moment, unsure. Kylian always seemed to loom over any chance you had at starting something new. How could you invest in someone else when your heart belonged so completely to him? Even when Kylian wasn’t making an effort, no one could ever make you feel what he did.

But maybe now was the time to start. Maybe Louis wasn’t the one, but at least he was a step in the right direction. You needed to try and move on. To reclaim your life, free from Kylian’s unintentional hold.

“Sure,” you said with a smile, giving Louis your number. He looked genuinely pleased, promising to text you later.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of normalcy. Work was smooth, uneventful even. Your thoughts had finally calmed down, and for the first time in a while, your mind wasn’t consumed by the ever-present tangle of emotions surrounding Kylian.

While out on your lunch break, your phone lit up with a notification:

Hey :) It’s Louis. How about dinner tonight?

You smiled at the cheeky smiley face and responded.

Dinner sounds great.

“I see that smile,” your coworker Gabriella teased, raising an eyebrow.

You chuckled. “Just a date.”

“With who?” Gabriella leaned in, curious.

You told her about Louis and the brief encounter at the gala, downplaying it but also feeling a small spark of excitement. Gabriella seemed more excited for you than you were, but you were looking forward to the evening.

By 6:45, you were finishing your hair. Your waves were soft and effortless, perfectly complementing the pale pink dress you had picked out. Minimal makeup highlighted your best features, and as you looked in the mirror, you felt a strange sense of pride. You looked beautiful, and it felt good to dress up for someone new.

With Kylian, you never had to put in any effort. He had seen you at your best and worst, from glamorous outfits to messy sweatpants. To him, you were always beautiful, and for that, you were grateful. But tonight felt different. With Louis, it was a chance to present your best self.

Sitting on the couch, you checked the time. 6:58. Louis would be here any minute. Your phone buzzed, and your heart skipped for a second, expecting a text from him. But it wasn’t Louis.

It was Kylian.

Wanna come over? I’m off early today.

Of course. Of all the nights, Kylian had to pick this one to invite you over. He always seemed to disrupt your plans, whether you liked it or not. If you rejected men for him, he’d show up. If you agreed to go out with them, he’d still find a way to remind you of his presence.

But tonight wasn’t about him. It was about you. You weren’t going to let him get in the way this time. Quickly, you replied:

Sorry, got plans tonight.

His reply came almost instantly.

Work?

You hesitated for a moment, then decided there was no point in hiding it.

I’m going on a date.

For what felt like an eternity, you watched as the three dots appeared, then disappeared, then reappeared. Kylian typed and erased his response several times, before finally leaving you on read.

You rolled your eyes in frustration. What is his problem?

Before you could dwell on it further, Louis texted that he was outside. You grabbed your things, took a deep breath, and headed out.

The car ride was smooth and easy, filled with laughter and lighthearted conversation. You found yourself relaxing, enjoying Louis’ company. He was sweet, thoughtful, and charming, and it felt nice to be on a date with someone who genuinely wanted to get to know you.

At the restaurant, Louis asked about your interests, your work, your life. He listened intently, genuinely interested in everything you had to say. It was a refreshing change from the superficial dates you’d had in the past. Louis didn’t seem like the type to act superior or dismissive. He was kind, respectful, and smart. On paper, he was perfect.

But midway through dinner, your phone buzzed again. You excused yourself, thinking it might be work, but it wasn’t.

When you’re done with your date, come over. I’m so bored at home. We could watch something. Unless you’re planning to go home with him, of course.

You stared at Kylian’s message, your irritation boiling over. Of course, he had to insert himself into your night. It was as if he couldn’t stand the idea of you spending time with someone else. You tried to remain composed in front of Louis, but inside, you were fuming.

Ignoring the text, you put your phone away and refocused on your date. Louis deserved your attention, not Kylian.

The night continued smoothly, and by the time you were back in Louis’ car, you felt a genuine connection. He walked you to your door, smiling softly as he said, “I had a really great time. Let’s do this again soon.”

“I'd love to,” you replied, your smile warm and sincere.

Louis leaned in, placing a soft, respectful kiss on your cheek before waving goodbye.

As soon as he drove off, the irritation you had buried earlier resurfaced. Kylian’s text was still on your mind, and you couldn’t let it go.

Impulsively, you called an Uber and headed to his place, convincing yourself that you needed to confront him. You told yourself that this was about setting boundaries, but deep down, you knew it was more than that. You always went back to him.

When Kylian opened the door, his expression was unreadable. He let you in without a word, his gaze following you as you walked past him.

“I thought you weren’t coming tonight,” he muttered, switching off the video game that had been paused on his TV.

“Where did that text come from?” you asked, standing near the couch, arms crossed.

“What do you mean?” He looked away, clearly avoiding the real issue.

“You know exactly what I mean. You made it sound like I go home with a different guy every week. What was that about?” Your voice was sharp, the frustration bubbling to the surface.

Kylian shifted, clearly uncomfortable. “I didn’t mean it like that—”

“Then how did you mean it?” you cut him off. “You can spend your weekends with dozens of women, but I can’t go out on one date?” You sat down on the couch.

He stayed silent, knowing you had a point but unsure how to respond. Instead of continuing the argument, he sat down next to you, his head hanging slightly.

That’s when you realized — tonight was the first time Kylian hadn’t told you how beautiful you looked. He always did, whether it was necessary or not. But tonight, not a word.

As if reading your thoughts, he finally mumbled, “You look beautiful, by the way.”

His voice was quiet, almost unsure. He looked like a scolded child, his arms crossed, his lips slightly pouting.

“Who did you go on a date with?” he finally asked, his curiosity winning out.

“Louis. The guy from the charity gala.”

Kylian sighed, nodding. “Didn’t you say you thought those guys were all pretentious?”

You shrugged. “Louis is different. I like him.”

Kylian didn’t say anything, and instead, he got up and walked to the kitchen. He returned with your favorite snacks and some cookies, his way of apologizing without words.

“What should we watch tonight?” he asked, changing the subject, setting the snacks on the coffee table.

You sighed, the weight of everything pressing down on you. “You pick. I’m going to change.”

As you made your way to his closet, you found the clothes you had left there. It was all so familiar, so normal, and yet so wrong. You hated how comfortable you were in his space, knowing it was never going to be more than friendship.

You had tried over the years to keep your distance from him, to prevent yourself from getting too close. But Kylian never allowed it. He always kept you close. No matter what phase of life either of you were going through, he made an extraordinary effort to stay in touch, to never let your friendship fade. He never stopped being your best friend.

After removing your makeup and changing into sweats, you began searching for the soft, fuzzy socks you were sure you’d left here. Your feet were freezing, and only those socks were warm enough to keep you comfortable.

You checked every drawer in his closet, but found nothing. Moving into his bedroom, you opened the first drawer — still nothing. When you got to the second one, you realized it held his personal belongings: old football posters, the laces from his childhood boots, and a pinky ring his grandfather had given him when he turned sixteen. As you were about to close the drawer, something colorful caught your eye. A folded piece of paper that you instantly recognized. Carefully, you took it out and opened it, feeling your heart skip a beat. You couldn’t believe he had kept it.

It was the birthday card you made for him almost 20 years ago, back when you first went to his celebration. The card was adorably imperfect, with “Happy Birthday Kylian” written in messy six year old handwriting, random hearts and butterflies scattered all over the paper. You had drawn a little boy and girl holding hands as the boy blew out birthday candles, a clumsy but heartfelt depiction of you and Kylian as children.

Holding it in your hands, memories flooded your mind. The card brought back so much; your childhood, the simplicity of your bond back then, and the way things had slowly become more complicated over the years. You hadn’t even realized it, but tears were streaming down your face. The fact that this card, something you’d forgotten about, had meant enough to him that he’d kept it for two decades, it overwhelmed you.

You carefully placed the card back, closing the drawer as if it held a piece of your heart. Then, you hurried to the bathroom, splashing cold water on your face, trying to compose yourself. As you stared at your tear-streaked reflection, the realization hit you like a truck: you loved him more than you ever dared to admit, even to yourself. It wasn’t just a fleeting crush or the remnants of childhood affection. It was deeper, more profound, so overwhelming that it felt like your entire life had been shaped around Kylian, every choice you made somehow tied to him.

That silly little birthday card, with its messy hearts and clumsy drawings, had brought a flood of memories you hadn’t even realized you still held onto. It was more than just a card, it was a symbol of the bond you’d shared since you were children, a bond you had always cherished but never truly understood until now. And the fact that Kylian had kept it, hidden away with his most treasured belongings, meant something. You knew it did. But what? Was it just nostalgia for him, a reminder of simpler times? Or did it mean more? Did it mean he held onto you the way you held onto him — silently, helplessly, and maybe, just maybe, as something more than a friend?

You splashed more cold water on your face, willing the tears to stop, but they kept falling, silently, stubbornly. The weight of your emotions was too much, and it took everything in you to steady your breathing, to stop the sobs that threatened to spill over.

The truth was hard to face: you had tried for so long to keep your distance, to protect yourself from the inevitable heartache of loving someone who could never love you back. But Kylian never let you. He always kept you close, drawing you back in whenever you tried to pull away, as if he couldn’t bear to lose you either. And that only made it harder.

You wiped your face with a towel, the cold water calming your heated skin, but inside, your heart still raced. You were coming to terms with something that terrified you. The feelings you had for him, they weren’t going away. In fact, they seemed to grow stronger every day, no matter how hard you tried to suppress them.

Falling for someone else? That was going to be a monumental task. It wasn’t just about liking someone new; it was about unlearning Kylian. Unlearning the way his laugh made you feel like everything would be okay, unlearning the way his touch sent shivers down your spine. Unlearning the years of memories that were tied to him. And honestly, the thought of letting go of Kylian felt impossible. It scared you. It scared you because no matter who came into your life, Kylian was still the one. How could you fall for someone else when your heart had already chosen?

With a deep breath, you finally calmed yourself enough to leave the bathroom. You couldn’t let Kylian see you like this, not when you didn’t even have an explanation for why you were crying. And definitely not when you weren’t ready to confront these feelings, let alone share them. But even as you composed yourself, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted inside you. Something irreversible. You couldn’t hide from your emotions anymore. You loved him, and it was destroying you.

As you walked back to the living room, you saw Kylian still lounging on the couch, casually flipping through the channels, completely unaware of the emotional storm you had just weathered in his bathroom. His easy, carefree nature contrasted so painfully with the heaviness in your heart.

You grabbed your things quickly, not wanting to linger in the space where your feelings felt too raw, too exposed.

“Hey, are you okay? What took so long?” he asked, his brows furrowing with concern.

“I’m sorry, Kylian,” you managed to say, your voice shaky. “I have to go.”

His expression immediately shifted from casual concern to confusion. “What? What happened?”

You shook your head, avoiding his gaze. “I just… I need to go home.” Kylian stood up, clearly not understanding what had changed so suddenly. He reached out, as if to stop you, but then hesitated.

“Y/N, did I do something? If I upset you earlier—” You quickly shook your head. “No, Kylian, it’s not that. You didn’t do anything. I just need to go.” You kept your gaze fixed on the floor, afraid that if you looked at him, the tears would start again.

He stood there, silent, as you hurried to the door, your heart racing with each step. You could feel his eyes on you, the weight of his concern hanging heavy in the air. But you couldn’t explain, not now. Not when you didn’t even know how to make sense of it all yourself.

As you left, he offered to give you a ride, but you declined. He walked you to the door, watching as you climbed into the Uber. His gaze didn’t leave you until the car turned the corner.

That night, as you lay in bed, wide awake, the weight of your love for Kylian pressed down on you. It was suffocating. And no matter how hard you tried to move on, no one else would ever be him.

You wished, more than anything, that next time Cupid aimed his arrow, he’d hit you both.

[ryloriee678999]

I Don't Care If It Hurts Me, I Care If It Hurts You.  (Wanda Maximoff x Reader)

Warnings: Substance abuse, accidental overdose, and relapse. 

Summary: Wanda offers her help and comfort after a heavy relapse. (1457 words)

Another day, another problem.  

Today there was no Avengers-level threat, there were no lives in danger or missions to go on. There was nothing to stress about, nothing important to complain about besides the unbearable itch on your skin. Every part of you wanted to use again. Even your brain convinced yourself that you’d be better off relapsing, and normally you tried holding off.

Your history of using was a secret to everyone. It wasn't even in your files which had every single detail written about you and your past. No one knew and no one could ever know. What would happen if news got out that an Avenger was on drugs? You’d be ruined.

Quickly you push the thoughts of anyone finding out to the back of your head. No one even talked to you, there was no way anyone would care or show any interest in your well-being, even if they did know. Instead, you focus on what's in front of you. A ziplock bag filled to the brim with different pills, powders, and liquids. ‘I guess being a superhero has its perks,’ you say, half sighing, half laughing to yourself. You couldn't believe you spent some of your pay check on all of this.

You’re quick to open it and spill the contents of the bag on the table. Blindly, you pick something random to swallow. You figured anything would make you feel better so you weren't picky. After realizing one wasn’t enough, you downed more and more until you started to lose track.

Only in a matter of minutes, your vision was starting to get warped and blurry. Slowly you feel yourself getting weaker and weaker until you have to fight your eyes to stay open. Your legs buckled which caused you to fall hard onto the couch.

‘Somethings wrong,’ you think before everything turns dark.

You thought no one would find you but little did you know, a little witch you barely knew listened in to all your thoughts. 

Wanda didn't mean to at first, but your thoughts were just so damn loud. She wanted to ask if you were okay, but there was never a good time. There never really is a good time in this kind of situation. Wanda knew something was wrong when she caught your quiet last thought. Right after your mind went dead silent, she rushed to your room immediately, worried she was too late.

The woman pounded on the door, not even caring how loud she was being. When there was no response, she then busted open your door to see you passed out on the couch. The witch took in her surroundings. The room was dim, close to completely black if it wasn't for the tiny lamp in the corner. The floors were cluttered with trash on the ground and the living room table was filled with things she couldn't quite make out to be. That's when she saw you, your foot dangling off the couch.

Quickly she ran towards you, a sigh of relief left her mouth to see your chest still moving up and down. Not being able to think in this situation she decided it would be best to call Bruce, for all she knew, you were dying with all that poison in your body.

Before she calls out for J.A.R.V.I.S to alert Bruce, you wake up. Slowly you are able to sit up, choosing to ignore the person kneeling next to you. Still feeling weak, you try standing up but a pair of hands stop you.

“Careful,” a soft familiar voice speaks. You shut your eyes tightly before opening them again, finally seeing the person next to you. At first, you thought it was some sort of hallucination, so you didn't pay it any mind, but when you saw none other than Wanda Maximoff you knew this was real; and you knew you were in trouble.

“What are you doing here?” You say hoarsely, your voice full of confusion. Immediately Wanda hands you a glass of water, reading your mind knowing how dry your throat felt. “I could sense something was wrong,” she replied, her voice shaky from all that has happened in the past 15 minutes.

“Nothings wrong, I was just taking a nap,” you lie, terribly of course. It was so obvious what had happened. The drugs still sprawled out on the table and floor were practically screaming at you.

Wanda chose to ignore your words. You thought she would lecture you but the words that came out next weren't expected. “Why didn't you tell me? Or anyone? Natasha, Steve, Clint?”  She questions, her voice full of concern. The concern you could tell was genuine no matter how much you told yourself it was fake.

Finally, you are able to sit up with Wanda joining you. “I thought I could do this all by myself.” her eyebrows tense together at your response, feeling as if she should have said something as soon as your thoughts turned dark. “You should have told me,” She says while her hands go to reach yours, immediately you pull away.

You don't know if it's the drugs affecting your mood but now you feel furious. Her words full of care and concern only feed how angry you are. How dare she care now, after you’ve been like this for years. She could read your thoughts and every time you screamed for help she never paid you any attention.

“Why now?!” You lash out. “I’ve done this on my own for years without the help of anyone, why would I tell you?!” You think back through all the times you’ve picked yourself back up from a downfall. Even though the cycle was vicious, that didn't mean you needed anyone's help, you dealt with it. “I don't even know you,” you say as an afterthought.

“Look how that turned out, you almost died!” She cried out. You could have sworn you saw her eyes turn red, but quickly her expression changed. Before she could raise her voice even louder she took a deep breath trying to calm down. “I'm sorry, this isn't about me. I don't want to make you feel bad, but you almost killed yourself.”

“I didn't ‘almost kill myself,’ you’re overreacting!” You say with as much anger in your last reply. As much as you wanted to be telling the truth, a few seconds before passing out, you did think you were dying; It didn't even phase you.

“I'm offering my help now, you don't have to do this on your own.”

You hate how tempting the offer sounds, but it was too good to be true. No one cared, if she truly cared she would have been here after every relapse. Suddenly you feel yourself start to break, all of it becoming too much. “But I do. This isn't anyone else's problem but my own,” you shout as your once narrowed eyes turn glassy with tears. You feel yourself letting go.

“I can do this myself,” you sob while taking deep breaths between each word. “I can do this by-” you try and repeat but tremble from trying to stand up. Thankfully Wanda catches you and pulls your body to her side. “You can't, lyubov,” she quietly says into your hair, briefly kissing the top of your head.

You knew better than to put all your problems on someone, but instead of pushing her away; you let yourself have this, even if it was just for tonight. You didn't even try to fight it.

She silently moves you two into a more comfortable position on the couch, her arms wrapping around your body, your back to her front. The tears coming down from your eyes slowly dry up as you feel her comfortingly rub your arm.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize after a few moments of silence. It comes out quieter than you wanted but Wanda still heard. She shakes her head, not wanting to believe that you were apologizing for something that wasn't even your fault. “I knew something was off but I didn't- I didn't do anything, I should be the one apologizing.”

“’s not your fault,” you mumble, starting to feel tiredness washing over you. Not the type of tired you felt earlier, but the calming type that you willingly let yourself fall into.

Wanda still couldn't help but feel guilty but some of it was lifted knowing that you didn't blame her. “It will never happen again, you’ll never have to do this alone again.”

“You’re going to get through this,” she affirmed as you closed your eyes and brought her closer. And for once, you felt that this time things might be different.

-

A/N: Another day, another slay, another vent fic. To anyone who's struggling, my dms are always open. Maybe I’ll write the aftermath but that depends on how many people like it!!!! cheers to my second fic.

[heuhuewaves]

show me how|chapter 10

Content warnings: brief smut, cursing, angst(??)

Word count: 2.5K

Song for this chapter: Blue Jeans by Lana Del Rey

Song link: https://open.spotify.com/track/4jZWeEaLCnwYtLnVEN6BYV?si=34fe3c001a884db0

March 18th, 2022

It was currently 5:15 in the morning. 2 hours before school started. What you and Billy were doing up this early, fucking for that matter, was beyond you. Billy had miraculously convinced your parents to let him sleep over. Which meant a lot of sex between the both of you. You guys had went at it at least 2 times the night before. Billy’s stamina was pretty impressive. His hand was currently covering your mouth, preventing the escape of any moans. All that left your lips was tiny whimpers that engulfed the inside of Hargrove’s palm. 10 minutes went by and the both of you ended up finishing, laying beside each other as you removed yourself from Billy’s length.

You turned over to your bedside table and checked your phone for the time. 5:25. You began to scroll through your phone since you still had a good chunk of time until you had to get ready. Billy turned over to you and stared, a smile plastered on his face.

“I mean, I’m always down for another round.” 

You laughed quietly as you punched Billy in the arm. “What has you so horny lately?” You questioned.

“Is it so bad to say that I missed you? It had been awhile since we last did it. Don’t even get me started on your body-” Billy cut himself off as he rushed a hand down your stomach. You swatted his advances away. 

“Tempting, but we literally have to be at school in less than 2 hours. Also, don’t forget you’re the one who’s giving us a ride.” You reminded him as you rolled out of your bed and began to start your morning routine. Billy continued to lay on the bed. He looked out your bedroom window and onto the empty street below. The faint sound of water running came from the bathroom. You were showering. Billy’s thoughts went right back to you.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

You were sat down in your 2nd period class. English always bored you. Being in honors English made it more unbearable. It was always the same to you. Sit down, read a book that didn’t make any sense, write multiple paragraphs on concepts you didn’t understand. You just couldn’t wait to get out of Hawkins. This town was not made for someone like you. Or Billy for that matter. 2 big city, sun kissed skin kids stuck in a pale, boring, sad town. 

You and Billy had been planning to go back to your home state as soon as the school year was over. The 2 of you had been saving up money for months. It was enough to at least get a 1 bedroom once you got out there. 

Your daydreaming about a different life came to a halt as the bell rung, signaling it was time for you to make your way to the next class. You slung your back pack around your shoulders and made your way into the crowded halls. There was no chance of you being able to see billy as his class was on the opposite side of the building. Venturing it alone wasn’t all to bad. Gave you a lot of time to think and people watch. It was a relatively short commute from English to History. On your way you spotted Steve. His pair of eyes immediately caught yours and he gave you a sympathetic stare. You were puzzled. Even from his body language alone you could tell that he was less tense. You took this as a hopeful sign.

The rest of the first half of the day went by per usual. It was Finally lunch time. You made your way to Billy’s car where you usually met him. 

You opened the door that led into the parking lot. Billy immediately spotted you and smiled. You made your way over to the Camaro as he eyed you up and down, a smirk on his face.

“You look sexy.” He said.

“You literally saw me get dressed this morning.” You smiled as he wrapped his arms around your waist. Billy looked up and saw Steve staring at the both of you. He was sitting by himself on a bench.

“The fuck is he looking at?” The sudden hostile energy caught your attention and looked up to see what the commotion was. Billy was looking at Steve. Oh fuck.

“Billy, no. You’re not gonna start anything again. I don’t need you beating anyone’s ass today.” Your orders were followed. Billy was silent. All he could do was give Steve the death glare. Both of you hopped into the Camaro and sped out of the parking lot to satisfy your hunger.

You and Billy decided to go back to his house for lunch. Nobody was home and being alone together sounded like an amazing idea. As the two of you entered the home Billy threw you onto the couch and began to make out with you. The feeling was reciprocated and you gave into the kiss. It was brief but passionate. He pulled away and stared at you.

“You’re fucking gorgeous.” All you did was smile back at him, giving him a quick kiss on the lips before getting up from the couch.

“Do you have anything to eat?” You asked as you started to head towards the kitchen.

“Probably left over pizza again. You know Neil’s dead-beat ass doesn’t make food.” Billy remarked as he scrolled on his phone. You were met with that very sight. A Tupperware container full of pepperoni pizza. You got the both of you 2 slices and heated them up in the microwave. Billy began to make his way over to the kitchen.

“I’ve noticed Harrington staring at you a lot lately. He’s gotten quiet too. Wonder if I need to beat his ass again.” Billy spoke out. You looked at him with the “really? this again?” face.

“Billy we’ve been over this. Multiple times. Even earlier today. You can’t just keep fighting him. Why do you guys even do this to each other?” You questioned. Now that you thought about it, Neither Billy or Steve elaborated on why they loathed each other. You just knew as soon as you came here, they despised one another.

“Couldn’t tell you. It’s always been like this.” Billy said, almost laughing. He had the most smug look on his face. It’s like he had no regret for his actions. You were fed up. Sick and tired of this meaningless feud that was going on between the two boys. 

“I’m serious. How can you be so nonchalant about this? Your obsession with ruining Steve’s life is insane.” You spoke, your temper rising.

“Obsession? Where did that even come from. You’re not even making sense.” Billy’s temper was rising as well. 

You grabbed your phone and backpack as you headed out the front door. “I’m leaving.” 

“The fuck? Cmon’ Y/N you’re being dramatic.” Billy remarked.

“No I’m not. I’m sick and tired of hearing about this beef between the both of you that isn’t even going to matter in two months when we graduate.” You were moments away from stepping outside.

“Well how do you even plan on getting back to school?” Hargrove questioned.

“I’ll walk.”

“No you won’t.”

You took one last look at Billy, slammed the door, and stormed off. The house was now empty. Billy was there all alone. His mind was eating at him. Not only because he had disappointed you, but You were right. This obsession with belittling Steve, making his life a living hell, What was it for? How did it come about? Not even Billy could tell. He made his way to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror. A loud scream followed. This was the rare occasion that he hated his reflection.

The transitional air of march hit your face as you walked down the sidewalks of Hawkins. Not too cold and not hot enough. You didn’t understand the fighting between Steve and Billy. Everyone you asked about didn’t have a concrete answer. “So did this shit just pop up out of thin air?” you thought. Part of you wish you hadn’t blown up at Billy. He lived 10 minutes from the school. Meaning the walk was gonna be at least 30 minutes. You knew this walk would be miserable. But, you knew he had to here it at some point. There was no point in both of the boys to fight anymore. Especially with graduation right around the corner.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

Lunch had already ended. It was at least 20 minutes into the next class period. Billy didn’t care though. He had just now pulled out of the driveway and started his commute. He sulked in his seat as Nirvana blasted on his radio. If it was completely up to him, He would’ve just stayed home and smoked weed for the remainder of the day. But you made him realize that he needed to let this childish year long dispute to rest.

He pulled into the Hawkin’s High parking lot and turned off his car. He sat there for a second, scrambling for the right words to say. It soon came to him. He got out of his car and made his way over to the school building. Billy honestly thought that it was gonna take a while to find Steve. But alas, There he was, Sitting on a bench alone writing in a notebook. It was good to know Billy wasn’t the only one who planned on skipping class. Hargrove approached him.

“Billy, please, not right now.” Was all Steve said, his eyes never leaving the notebook. The mullet haired boy was taken back. He had put his hands on Steve so many times that it made him weak. Defenseless. He didn’t even wanna fight anymore.

Billy scratched the back of his head. “I’m not here to start shit. Quite the opposite actually.” Steve’s head was kept down on the paper. He wasn’t convinced. Billy sighed. “Look-” He took a seat besides the darker haired boy. “See, I’m not trying to fight you.” Steve’s guard was noticeably dropped and he finally took his eyes off of what he had been writing. 

“So?”

“This rivalry between us, we have to stop. It's torn up your friendship with Y/N and it’s starting to effect my relationship with them.” Steve was taken back. He never thought that this day would come. The day where both sides of this war would draw their weapons. It was almost too weird.

“You’ve got to be pulling some shit with me. I’m not stupid Hargrove.” Steve remarked.

“I’m not. I promise you. I just want Y/N to be happy. I really care about them and I’ve seen how your guys’ friendship becoming almost non existent has effected them. It sucks. They want you back in their life so bad. I don’t want Y/N to be unhappy without you anymore.” Billy confessed. It became real to Harrington now. This was in fact, not a joke. Billy was actually trying to drop this cliche high school rivalry. Steve didn’t realize how defeated Billy looked. It almost looked like he was going to break down and cry.

Steve thought for a moment. About how this whole situation had taken a toll on him as well. He started skipping class so he wouldn’t have to see Billy. His grades were dropping. He lost all his motivation in general. Most importantly, he missed Y/N. 

“We both care about the same thing. Y/N. I want them to be as happy as you do. If that means we need to mature and be civil in order to make that happen, then I’m all for it.” Steve agreed. A sign of relief washed over Billy. “I appreciate you doing this though. Don’t tell me you’re about to mature Hargrove.”

Billy smiled back. “Who said that?” He got up from the bench and stood over Steve. “Wanna smoke? As a sign of new beginnings,.. or some shit.”

Steve shrugged. “Lead the way.” He said as he got up from the bench and followed Billy back to his car.

You were sat up in your bedroom typing out the last of your college admission essay. UCLA was your goal. It was convenient for you and Billy. Two kids wanting to go back to the ‘golden state’ and start a new life.

You hadn’t spoken to Billy at all since lunch. In all honesty, You weren’t sure of what to say. Everything that needed to be said was spoken. But that didn’t mean that you didn’t feel guilty. You hadn’t blown up at him like that in a long time. You could text him right now if you wanted. Facetime him even. But the courage was not in your system right now. The best option in your mind was too let this all blow over and talk to him tomorrow.

A sudden flurry of knocks came from your bedroom window and startled you. You automatically knew who it was. You made your way over to the window and opened it up. It was Billy on the top of the trellis that sat outside your room. He held up a decent wad of cash.

“Billy. Who the fuck did you rob?” You asked, concerned for the boy.

“Neil.”

You gave him a look that was similar to what a mother would give to her child when they disappointed her. “You know what he’s gonna do once he finds out.”

Billy finally made his way through the window and was now standing in your bedroom. “He’s too drunk off his ass to notice.” He took your hand and sat the both of you down on your bed. “Listen I have shit I need to say. You were right. The way I was acting with Steve ruined your friendship with him. What you told me earlier made me realize that I need to let this shit go. Especially since we won’t even be in this town in 2 months. I’m sorry baby.” He expressed his regret.

You kissed him on his cheek and smiled. “The fact that you did all this self-change for me is so sexy. I love you Billy.”

“I love you too Y/N.” Once the awkwardness in the room passed, Billy held up the cash again. “Now what do we do with this?”

“Food and the arcade?”

“Wow, look at you. Spending stolen cash like a criminal.” Billy spoke sarcastically. “Also, I thought you were all about being mature?”

“If you’re doing self-change then I can too. It’s time to be more free.”

Billy smirked. “Never thought I would see this side of you Y/N. It’s hot.” He pulled you in for a short but heated kiss. “Race you to my car.” Both of you shot up from your bed and raced down the stairs, then out the door where you quickly grabbed your shoes. The race continued down the driveway. You touched the door first.

“I win.” You grinned. Billy mirrored the same gesture back at you. Both of you jumped into the Camaro and sped off. Into the dark streets of Hawkins and off to wherever the night brought to the both of you.

------------------------------------------------------------

@flvneurss @this-gave-pidge-further-shock @zzokks @xuckduck @aworm-onastring  @kaylee444  @lily-sinclair-2006 @tagakalat @sunshinee0-0​  @overthewhiteclouds​ @loadivine​ @mxltifxnd0m​ @queenofstarsanddarkness @youcantbesirius​ @offical-bee​ @m-rae23​ @hqtetsurou @mushy-mushroom04​ @tayhar811​ @mvrylee​

[larainn]

Crush || Gorou X Reader

Gorou X Reader

Genre : Smut

Morden Collage Au

Warning - This contains Hybrid Gorou, breeding , both Gorou and reader as switch, knotting , bitting, cross dressing.

Minors do not enter - This contain the above mentioned content if you don't like or sensitive to anything please don't read any further

You were in last semester of your University, it was a short time period for you as you were doing this one extra course. And there you met him, your Crush.

It was very unexpected, even though you all were free to sit anywhere somehow always Gorou and you ended up sitting next to each other.

Gorou was a very shy boy and that's what made you very curious of him, it was not like you both never talked you did, even you guys exchanged your numbers and followed each other in SNS.

And what made you like him? Everytime he talked to you he smiled so sweetly, his ears always twitched while you looked at him, the way his hair always fell down in his forehead made you go really crazy.

And being a very courageous person that you were not one fine day invited him to go in a restaurant to eat, maybe a date for you.

And here you were 15 minutes early so you can get yourself ready and don't mess up anything.

Gorou came wearing his teal green Crop top and baggy brown jumper. His ears twitched once he saw you sitting farther at the side table. He came towards his tail wagged like he was happy, oh what a cute view.

You held yourself together before you start drooling over and looked in front while gorou came and sat in front of you.

"Hi, how have you been?" Gorou said in a very shy tone. Oh you just wanted to ruffel his hair and pinch his cheeks right now.

And that's how you both ended up talking alot. Gorou was not that shy you just needed to break his ice and you were happy that you took this step.

In between your talks you notice that Gorou said that he was feeling hot or one time he shivers because of cold that was very wierd thing.

Suddenly Gorou started panting hard, which made you so scaerd. You suddenly went over to him. He grabbed you by waist and made you sit next to him. Hugging you and keep sniffling on you neck.

"You smell so good, so relaxing" Gorou moaned.

"Are you alright?" You asked out of concern.

"Mhmmm" Gorou hummed while keep sniffling on your neck.

Is it what you were really thinking of, maybe yes it is. It won't hurt asking him about it.

" Gorou, are you in heat?"

Gorou just nodded his head not showing his face, maybe was just embarrassed.

"Okay, let's get you to home first." With that you took him home and made him sit on the bed. Gorou grabbed your hand and pulled you towrds him making you sit on his lap.

He started liking your neck now, which bought a very wierd feeling. A moan came out of your mouth involuntarily. Which made Gorou excited and he started humping while you were still sitting on his lap.

You suddenly pulled him away. "I- I will bring you some water first Gorou" with that you ran towards the kitchen.

Your heart was beating really fast you grabbed a glass of water and went back inside the room with deep breath.

The view you saw in front of you almost made the glass drop from your hand. Gorours jumper was half down his dick was out and was humping on a pillow, tears coming out of his mouth, cheeks flushed red. Tail wagging up and down.

Oh the site made you so wet. The site in front of you just wanted you to Devore the boy. You put the water in side tabel.

The noise made Gorou aware of your presence in the room.

"please help me out" Gorou cried while still humping on the pillow.

And here you was you turned Gorou around facing you totally hovering over him. You started kissing him very roughly taking his dick in your hands palming him.

You stopped your hand movements Gorou cried out a very beautiful moan and started moving his hips, your hands still surrounding his dick.

You slowly took off his crop top and started licking and giving hickeys on his chest. You slowly went to his nipple and gave it a lick Gorou cried out your name. The boy was really sensitive here.

As Gorou was holding your waiste during whole this time, his hands slowly went down taking off your shorts leaving you naked from down, the cold air could be felt and suddenly two fingers entered into your hole, Gorou started fingering you. Which made you stop doing all the other action.

You moaned as his fingers did wonders to you. Gorou flipped you and you both switched the positions now he was on top of you. You were already near your high when suddenly Gorou stopped.

You buckled your ass up to get some friction, you cried out because all you for was air "I wil fill you with my pups don't worry" Gorou growled. He rubbed his dick on your hole with force. Both of you trying to get some friction.

"Gorou please stop being a tease." And with one command Gorou enterd in you, slowly. Tears started forming in your eyes and you could hear Gorour's beautiful whimpers.

He started moving at first it was slow pace. It was already showing you stars. "It feels so good Gorou, Breed me Gorou fill me with your pups, you said you will" the sentence made Gorou go crazy , he started moving in a very fanatic state your walls already started clenching in his dick.

And you felt his dick tip being enlarged slowly he knotted you. And the pain from knot was unbearable. Tears started flowing from your eyes. Gorou came down and started kissing off your tears.

The pain slowly turned into pleasure, Gorou started moving again. He kissed your lips and slowly started gown down the neck, biting it and licking it. And you already came for the 3rd time and this time Gorou started realising with you, while he bits into you neck and shivered. A good release he was having. You could feels his fluids deep inside you.

You both waited until his knot became small and finally he pulled out, your and his fluid flowing out. He really loved that site his eyes sparkled.

You just looked into his eyes and he finally noticed that how desperately you were looking at him.

"You knew about your hear?" You asked him

He just nodded while his ear twiched frantically.

"So why you said yes for meeting me, what if your heat started while I would be not around you." You said while giving him a concerning look.

"Because I wanted to meet you and spend time with you" Gorou said embarrassingly.

"I have liked you for quite sometime, I never had courage to talk with you because I always felt so shy, that's why I started sitting next to you everyday thinking you would notice me" Gorou said while looking down.

You just ruffled his hairs and pulled him close.

"I like you too, that also for quite sometime, but since we didn't talked but I didn't asked you out. That would be wierd right, but now you are my puppy don't me shy anymore." You said while ruffling his ear.

"And you are mine too" Gorou said while looking at the bite mark proudly he made at your neck, maybe you still didn't know about the mark.

[ I am blushing >\\\< Hope you liked it!]

[big-boah]

General tips for disabled and/or neurodivergent people getting tattoos (of all support need levels):

Under the cut:

Do your research: There are some shops nowadays that are run by neurodivergent or disabled folks and/or cater to neurodivergent/disabled folks, and those would be my first choice to scope out for a tattoo consultation. Otherwise I would go to a place/artist who was recommended by a friend or member of the local community. Check out online reviews too and social media comments to find the person you feel most comfortable reaching out to. You will be communicating with this person a lot because they're giving you something that will last a lifetime.

*Note: "friend" here means friend, significant other, partner, parent, sibling, or attendant/assistant/caregiver. You have to be 18 in most of the United States to get a tattoo.

*Also I can only speak for myself and my own experiences!

Be prepared for an in-person consult, and be ready to ask about any accommodations you would need during the appointment, including your preferred communication style. Tattoo artists usually don't do online consults which can be scary, I've called off a few on bad days. (They understand, your job is to be communicative!) Don't let that stop you or a friend from making an appointment for you.

Be prepared to answer questions from the artist on your comfort levels and communication needs and do not be shy, you're trying to see whether you'll be paying them for an important service. During the consultation, they will ask you questions about your design, colors, size, and the location of the tattoo.

You don't have to come with a totally clear idea in mind, they can help you get creative. Reference photos and printouts do help for ideas. But make sure you or a friend also have a list of questions beforehand if you think of any. And don't be afraid to reach out to the artist before the consult or appointment if you have questions. If they're cool they'll want to help you feel comfortable. During the session, tattoo artists will take breaks based on your comfort level (I've seen neurotypical people take breaks every 15 minutes) so don't feel bad about bringing that up if you anticipate that, no matter the body part.

Make sure to bring a friend, a phone/typing/AAC device or a pen/paper to the consult to ensure clear communication. I usually communicate over email and typing on my phone and I've only had issues with one artist who was inexperienced and we didn't go through with the tattoo. Also be sure to get a ride there and back! Getting a tattoo is tiring, you will not want to drive after if usually drive. Taking public transportation is difficult with executive function issues which will usually feel intense after a tattoo session, it can be very tiring.

Start small with your first design or session. Not that you shouldn't go all out, I say heck yeah to that! But that way, you'll know how it feels in that area of your body and you can plan it better. You don't want to plan a 4 hour session that feels unbearable after half the tattoo 2 hours in. That feeling sucks.

A good artist will also tell you "no" if they think something won't look good or be too difficult to take care of for your body, tattoo location, or skin type, or if they think that a certain body part is a bad idea. They're there to work with you and give you something you'll be happy with forever. This is another reason for the consult before the appointment, you can get to know the artist a little bit. If you feel uncomfortable with them or if you feel like they are judging you, consults are usually free or low cost, or the money goes toward the tattoo, you don't have to go through with the actual first session. It'll be like you're discussing and interviewing each other. You'll also want to start small to gauge pricing so you don't get surprised!

For the appointment, get ready for a weird type of pain that feels different in every part of the body. Everyone is different when it comes to this, and everyone has different tolerance levels. This is why you should start small in one area to make sure you're comfortable with doing more. It feels like someone is scratching you in the same spot over and over until you bleed, because that's pretty much what's happening.

Bring snacks and water to the appointment and eat plenty beforehand. This is important so you don't get dizzy. Drink plenty of water and never be afraid to ask for hydration or snack breaks. Usually the shop will be able to provide water if you forget some. Getting a tattoo sometimes isn't very painful, but it still takes a toll on your body, which is constantly trying to produce numbing chemicals for your wound.

Be prepared to spend several hours trying to stay still. I recommend bringing stim toys or a friend who can help keep you relaxed. Even tiny tattoos take an hour with final discussion and price discussion, placement, and then they clean the room/chair, and prepare the ink and fresh needles for you. Your body in general will need to be as still as possible for your tattoo's benefit and the artist's. The artist also needs to feel safe doing the tattoo too, it's their job to give you something that'll last forever and they want to make sure they do a good job so you need to stay as relaxed as possible. If you need a brace that doesn't interfere with the tattoo area, do it. Also, you can usually listen to headphones if you want or you can request music. Or you can have a friend bring a tablet so you can watch Netflix (I may have done that for a Star Wars vibe.)

Watch what meds or supplements you take before the appointment. Some medicines and natural substances can make your blood thinner, give you high blood pressure, or make you feel pain differently. You have to sign a waiver before you get it done that says you're not under the influence, but make sure to research your meds effects and side effects to make sure it won't make you unalert, dizzy, or otherwise uncomfortable. You want this to be as painless as possible, it's a cool experience and a necessary evil for the cool forever art, you want it to be a good time. 😉

Be prepared for bleeding, clear fluid, and scabbing. Proper after care is crucial for it . I was surprised by how much aftercare was involved in a tattoo, even though the artist had gone over this with me. Usually you'll need to follow a strict bandage and lotion (sometimes) regimen that your tattoo artist will prescribe. You and your friend's job is to take good care of it. They can take a month or two to heal completely, and you have to keep it dry. You also can't put it in direct sunlight so watch out during summer, and you cannot let it rub up against tight clothing, a chair/cushion, or a brace. If your immune system is a bit slower at healing, prepare for up to 4-6 months until the whole thing is healed over. Be mindful of this when planning and be open about it with your tattoo artist for the best results.

Don't be afraid to reach back out after your appointment. You or a friend can send an email to the shop or call the shop if you have a question for the artist. The tattoo artist or a receptionist or manager will provide aftercare help or direct you to their safety tips on their website. Sometimes people have reactions to the ink in the form of heavy scabbing, scarring, or hives. Don't be afraid to ask. If there are any signs of infection at all, you and/or your friend need to call the shop and the doctor as soon as possible. The shop can tell you what's normal, the doctor can tell you if your infection needs treatment. (It is normal for all this to happen even if you do everything right.) And they artists are there to help you, that's what you're paying them for.

Make sure that you and your friends tip well if you can. Especially if the artist is patient and understanding and open and communicative. It's important! It's even more of a compliment to be a repeat customer. If you find someone you like working with, cherish them forever. Give them nice reviews online too, it lets us in the community doing our research know it's a neurodivergent/disability friendly place.

Thank you for coming to my disabled person TED™️ talk. Anyone should be able to get a tattoo or body modification regardless of disability or support need level. You deserve to be heard and respected and to feel comfortable, and the artist you feel comfortable with deserves your communication.

(By the way I'm medium-high support needs semi-speaking autistic white guy with dyspraxia. I once kicked a man in the face on accident during one of my first tattoos and messed it up lol. I have a few tattoo artist friends and have done a lot of sitting/laying for these so feel free to send me asks!)

[toorusluvr]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ CALIFORNIA: IWAIZUMI HAJIME.

characters: iwaizumi hajime x f!reader

cw:  car sex, unprotected sex (please use protection if you hate kids), iwaizumi has a praising kink! mutual pining lol. if there's more let me know.

wc: 3k

crossposted on my ao3 🤍

The gush of the sudden heatwave was unbearable, you must admit. Stepping foot in California, a foreign country with no one to pick you up at the airport, felt awkward and scary at the same time. Your only goal was to visit your best friend, Iwaizumi, at the college he was studying at. Your plan was to give him a call once you arrived at the destination soon.

Taking a cab from the airport, the beach view came into your sight. The way your eyes shimmered at the beautiful view of people surfing and enjoying themselves at the beach was enough to tell that you actually had a great start being here. Iwa must have had an enjoyable time being here.. Is he homesick? It suddenly popped into your mind. He must be having a great time being in California. The weather’s great, and the scenery is pleasant.

The cab driver helped you with your luggage, though it wasn’t as handful as the other tourists, you still need help getting your big luggage out from the trunk. You heaved a deep sigh, breathless after dragging your luggage onto the concrete pathway. Without stalling your time, you searched for your phone in the pocket of your pants. Scrolling through your contacts, you finally found his contact number.

Within the first three rings, he picked up your call. His raspy voice greeting you the first thing. You heard he cleared his throat. “Hey, why are you calling me? Isn’t it like 11 in the morning there? Aren’t you supposed to be asleep, considering your fucked up sleeping schedule?” a laughter was followed after he nagged you.

You laughed, entertained by his own way of making fun of you. “If I was in Tokyo, then the answer is yes. But I am not in Tokyo, to be frankly speaking!” you were hoping he would catch on to what you were saying. Your presence here was to surprise him, after all!

Iwaizumi had just finished training at the local gym. He wiped the beads of sweats forming on his forehead with the towel hanging around his neck. He glanced over the clock on the wall, 6:15 p.m. Don’t tell me that you are here? he thought. “What are you on, Y/N? Are you talking in your sleep right now?”

This guy, you grunted softly. He caught on but he was afraid if his instinct was not telling him the right thing. “What a dumbass. I’m here in California, you idiot. Come and pick me up at your college! I don’t know your home address for God’s sake!” you burst out. The heat was killing you and please God, can he be quick to pick you up?

He deadass laughed at you. “Are you for real? Oh my goodness! Aight, just give me 10 minutes! I just finished working out. Stay where you are, I am coming to get you!” Iwaizumi rushed to take a quick shower in the shower room. He has to look and smell nice before meeting you. Of course, he would.

“Make it 5, Hajime. I swear to God!” you said, lowkey threatening him. You looked like you were stranded in front of his college with your luggage beside you. Standing awkwardly while the passersby looking at you up and down with a questionable look on their faces.

His sinister laughter made you unknowingly clenched your thighs together. “I swear I’ll be quick. Just stay where you are! Don’t follow any strangers!”

Being the petty friend you are, you counted how long it took for Iwaizumi Hajime to come and get you. He took exactly 7 minutes and 39 seconds to come to your rescue. The matte black range rover parked in front you. Iwaizumi got out of the driver’s seat hurriedly. “Hey, why didn’t you tell me you were coming, dumbass?” he ruffled your hair. Trying to look good for him ended up being ruined by the person himself.

You rolled your eyes, “Obviously, it’s a surprise visit! Can’t you tell them apart or what?” you laughed, unable to hold your laughter any longer. “Nice car, by the way!”

“It's not mine. I had to borrow it from a friend to pick you up” Iwaizumi told, taking in your luggage into the trunk. He opened the passenger’s seat door for you -- his hand rested on the windshield, ensuring your head to be safe. You mumbled a soft thank you before he got to the driver’s seat.

“Where are you staying, by the way? It's dangerous to be out there all alone. Or, aren’t you afraid?” he asked, his right hand turning the steering wheel to drive out of his campus area.

You hummed, “There's a hotel nearby here I booked. But, if you wanted to pay the expenses for me, it’d be nice!”

Both of you burst into laughter, knowing too well both of you are joking around and no hard feelings involved! “Since you are here, let’s go to In-N-Out that you’ve always talked about” Iwaizumi suggested, his eyes glanced over you in the passenger’s seat. You looked excited to try out the fast food franchise you’ve been wanting to try.

It felt like old times, hanging out with your best friend even in a foreign country feels exactly the same. The skies were getting darker as time passed by. About half before 9, both of you headed to his friend’s car. Iwaizumi needed to send you off before midnight. It's unsafe for you to be alone, especially at this hour.

Sitting in the expensive car, both of you enjoyed talking about anything and everything. Time doesn’t seem to be passing by when both of you are together. How badly Iwaizumi wants you to be there for him every single day. He hesitated to ask you, but it’s now or never, Hajime.

“Uh, why did you come to visit me? Why not Oikawa?” he laughed, an uneasy feeling creeped into his heart. Did he make a mistake? He was just asking a question. There's no way you’ll be offended, right?

Shrugging off your nervousness, you covered it up with a lie. “Apparently, California is much cheaper than Argentina. So, I decided to visit you first before meeting Oikawa. Sounds like a genius idea, no?”

Great, now you looked like a pathetic liar. That doesn’t fascinate him, not even a bit. “Oh- that sounds like a great plan, by the way” he laughed. “You know, I am honored to be the first friend you visited!”

You smiled, trying to think of a sentence to reply. “Yeah, you should be.” Fidgeting with your fingers only made you look like a liar. You turned to look at him, both of you fell into an awkward somehow comfortable silence.

“I think I have fallen in love with you” Iwaizumi confessed. He paused for a moment, “No. Actually, I am in love with you.” He looked serious, yes he was. He had been waiting for this moment to come and it’s finally time to confess. It's about time to tell you the truth.

“Wh-what? Are you kidding or what?” you chuckled nervously. Between him and you, you’ve always thought it’ll be you who make the first move but your assumption was wrong.

“No, I am not kidding” he looked at you straight in the eyes.

Your fingers brushed over your face which is now slightly warmer than usual. You disclosed the gap between both of you, “What if I tell you I am in love with you too?”

Iwaizumi's lips formed into a smile. He didn’t know how to put his thoughts into words, but he was thankful for your presence. Closing the gap between both of you, he moved his hand to your face. His palm cupping your face and pressed his lips on your lips with a tender kiss. “Is this fine?”

With your eyes closed, you nodded confidently. You have always loved how considerate Iwaizumi is with others. “Yes, please.”

Both of you kissed for the first time ever. There was a taste of love instead of lust from two individuals who are looking for home in the right person. Brushing your lips with his thumb, he looked at you once again. “Do you want this? Are we taking things too fast?”

You chuckled softly, “It’s fine, Hajime. It's not like we don’t want this in the first place.” Your eyes looking into his green eyes, before a smile appeared on his face. He nodded, agreeing with what you said.

“Let’s get to the backseat” he whispered, nibbling on the sensitive spot under your ear while his hands caressing both sides of your face. You climbed to the backseat, adrenaline pumping in your system. Iwaizumi gently laid you on the leather seat, spreading your legs so he could be in between your legs.

He easily removed your thin top, unzipping your pants that it slid over your legs so easily. The sudden cold of the night sent shivers down to your spine. “Are you sure you’re fine with this?” he interrupted your thoughts. You held his face in your hands, “I will never regret this moment, Hajime. Trust me.”

You have convinced him to not hold himself back. He nibbled on your sensitive spot over and over again, leaving deep purple hickeys all over your beautiful neck. Clinging your legs onto his waist, you arched lewdly to his touch while your tongues clashing with each other.

Iwaizumi placed his hands on your bare thighs, brushing his fingers over your inner thighs crucially slow. You whimpered softly, your body kept on asking for him to give you more. Everything he has to offer. “Hajime, please. I need you” you begged. “Don’t hold yourself back, because I am not going to.”

Oh, how sweet you looked being under him with your glossy eyes, begging him for more. He would wreck you if it wasn’t for this cramped place. Pulling his shirt off of his toned body, he let you enjoyed seeing his defined abs and chest. “I guess I need to teach my princess one or two things about love, hm?”

You nodded your head, your voice caught up in your throat, unable to speak proper sentences. “Don’t worry, I’ll take a really good care of you. Because I love you” he whispered in your ears.

You tugged on the waistband of his briefs, the tent forming in his boxer couldn’t hide the size of his cock. You gulped, he is unlike the other guys you have dated. He is sweet and loving, sometimes aggressive. Is he aggressive while being intimate too? You wondered.

From the way he parted your legs apart, you knew he’s real good at this. Iwaizumi dragged his two digits on your slick folds, “You’re already wet, baby” he laughed. He looked at you and gave you an assuring smile before he ate you out like a starved man. His tongue laid flatly on your dripping pussy.

His licks made your back arched lewdly to his touch. Iwaizumi never thought the day he'd be making love with his own best friend has finally come. He's in love with you ever since you guys were in first year of high school. The years of mutual pining only made him crave your love even more.

“You’re doing so good for me” he said, smirking at you in a glance. Your fingers intertwined in his spiky black hair while he praised you endlessly. “You’re eager for me, aren’t you baby?” his raspy voice vibrated against your wet cunt.

“Please, Hajime” you whimpered. “I-i want you to fuck me, please.”

“Since you are doing so good for me, I guess I have to give my princess my cock, hm?” With a harsh thrust, a loud gasp filled the car. He gasped when your tight walls swallowed his cock. Using his thumb, he played with your clit as he rocked his hips slowly to build his pace.

You have never heard yourself let out a sinful moan like you did just now. You immediately threw your hand over your mouth to cover your moans. Your eyes rolled back when he pressed his thumb on your clit.

“No, baby let me hear you” Iwaizumi yanked your hand away. “I want to hear you screaming my name, because I am the only one who can make you feel good from now on, hm?” he grunted as he slammed his hips into you.

Your tears formed in your eyes, wrapping around his neck while kissing him deeply. He toyed with your clit while kissing you passionately, hips rocking slowly into you. “Ah- Hajime” you moaned in his mouth.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful” he grunted softly. "You’re doing so fucking good for me, princess. Taking my cock so well like this hm? Can you cum for me, baby?”

You nodded eagerly, “Pl-please. Make me cum, Hajime- ah!” your legs wrapped tightly around his waist when you felt your orgasm building up in your stomach. Iwaizumi bit his lips, continuing to grind against your g-spot as he eyed your fucked out face with your eyes rolled back and a single tear dropped down as you begged him to go harder.

“Fuck, you feel so- ah- good, Hajime” you cried out. “Please please please, I am so near!”

With the angle he's in right now, he managed to make you moan as if no one was there to hear. Iwaizumi was big, the tip of his cock bumping your cervix in every thrust, making your legs shaking badly and your lips quivering with pleasure and cries. It felt so fucking good, no one has ever fucked you this good. All the boys you dated were useless, never once making you cum.

Your cunt clenched tightly around his cock, telling him that you’re near. “Baby, come on cum for me” he dragged two of his fingers on your clit, flicking on it as he waited for your orgasm to break.

“Y-yes there! H-hajime, it feels so good!” you moaned, mixed with cries of pleasure. Your nails digging into his back muscle, leaving scratches all over his back.

“Here? Like this, baby?” he hummed through his teeth, flicking your clit over and over again until it made your whole body trembled. “Do you like that, hm?”

You nodded eagerly, words have flown out of your mind. Nothing can ever compare to his cock and the size of his fingers that could easily make you cum. Your throat felt dry from all the moaning and cries. You came around his cock, your cum dripping on his length.

“I need you to cum one more time, okay baby? You’re doing so good for me” iwaizumi caressed your hair gently. He placed a chaste kiss on your lips. You nodded, following his orders. He changed the angle of his thrust, pistoning his cock faster than he did before. His calloused hands playing with your hardened buds before taking one of them in his mouth and started sucking on it.

“Come on, baby” he grunted, biting his lips from cumming before you.

“I- I'm gonna- fuck!” you sobbed, it felt different than your first orgasm. Your legs trembled, “H-hajime please.”

“That's it, baby. Fuck, I'm cumming” he gritted through his teeth. “We can’t make a mess in here” he grunted softly. He looked at his cock being swallowed by your gummy walls. The mess that you made around his cock excited him.

“Fuck, just cum inside me, oh- shit” you sobbed, gripping onto his biceps as you came down from your high.

"Are you sure? Oh- fuuuck” you nodded, panting for air as he spilled his seed inside you with a deep grunt.

He laid on top of you for a moment, trying to catch his breath after spurting his thick cum inside of you. Iwaizumi kissed you on your forehead, “Let's stay like this for a moment. Can't afford messing up my friend’s seat, can’t we?” he laughed.

You chuckled, nodding your head. “Right. I have a tissue, Hajime. Don't you worry. But it’s in my luggage in the trunk.”

Iwaizumi giggled, sealing his lips with you sweetly while he tucked your hair behind your ear. “You did so good for me” he whispered in between the kisses. You giggled, “Yeah, as if we didn’t have sex in your friend’s backseat.”

He laughed, “He would have understand, right? Come on, let’s send you to your hotel it’s getting late.”

"Fuck, Y/N. I love you so much" he kissed you lovingly. You looked into his eyes trying to catch your breath. "I love you too, Hajime. Always have been."

[danielxricciardo]

Winner

Summary: You met Pierre at the Brazilian Grand Prix and for 3 months you couldn't get in touch.

Warnings: fluff, like 2 swear words

Word count: 2.3k

This one was requested by @jugasly and I know it is not exactly what she wanted but I really tried and I hope you liked it!

Avenida Paulista's Boulevard catches the eye especially through the skyscrapers similar to those in the big North American cities. Brazil's most modern city has much to offer tourists around the world. The most beautiful museums in South America can be found here, the shore is furrowed with lots of sunny beaches. And its nightlife has attracted many tourists.

The largest city in South America makes New York look small. The buses make an unbearable noise and black smoke spreads over the upper floors of the skyscrapers which, through the heat that maintains it during the day, turn the city into a real hell.

I felt myself waking up but I was determined to keep my eyes closed for a little longer but in a few seconds I was awakened violently by the sound of car engines. That's what I deserve for booking the hotel next to the Formula 1 circuit.

You reluctantly got out of bed and went to the window. I saw how the Formula 1 cars are brought on the circuit and I look at my watch. Fuck, it was pre-qualification practice, did I really sleep that much? Honestly, I arrived in the room at 5 o'clock and at 6 I fell asleep so I shouldn't have been so surprised that I slept in.

I was in Brazil with my two best friends to watch a Formula 1 race live and we chose Brazil because we needed a good reason to leave Europe and visit South America for a week, right?

I woke up my friends and in less than half an hour we were leaving the hotel, running, with a big cup of coffee in our hand.

We passed quickly through the front gate, all we needed now was to find our seats.

All around us could be heard the cars speeding on the circuit. My skin was goosebumps and I was looking at my friends who had the same smile on their faces that I think I had.

We find our seats and watch the last 15 minutes of training. We held in our hands the tickets that gave us access to the paddock. We were going to go there after the drivers returned to the garages.

My eyes were searching for Aston Martin Hospitality. I knew that if I returned home from this Grand Prix without an autograph from Sebastian Vettel for my father, I could very well stay in Brazil for the rest of my life.

Being so focused on looking for the green building, I didn't realize that someone was coming in front of me only when I hit a hard chest. I heard my girlfriends gasping. Fuck, I just hope I didn't run into Toto Wolff.

I open my eyes slightly and see a driver's suit, white and blue. Alpha Tauri?

I look up at the driver's face. To be damned. Pierre Gasly. With ruffled hair and a red face, Pierre Gasly was in front of me.

"I'm really, really sorry, I didn't look where I was going. Sorry!" I say and take a step back, stepping out of his personal space.

As I walked away from him, I saw that he was not alone but with Pyry.

"It's okay, I wasn't looking where I was going either," he says, running his hand through his hair, trying to fix it.

I smile at them and then I look at my friends giggling at our embarrassing date.

Pyry motions to Pierre to someone behind me and that makes him take his eyes off me.

"Oh, I have to go," he tells me. "Have fun."

I stood still for a few moments, unable to move. I just met my favorite driver and it couldn't be more embarrassed than that.

"The first meeting with your children's future father was very good." my best friend, Lila, tells me.

"Shut up."

The fact that I found Aston Martin Hospitality and managed to get the autograph for my father and I could take a few pictures with Sebastian Vettel erased the embarrassment caused by the disastrous meeting I had with Pierre Gasly.

For a little time.

As soon as we got out of Aston Martin Hospitality Lila pulled us to McLaren Hospitality, hoping to meet Lando Norris and take some pictures with him, about 100, but who's counting, right?

I was with my head on the phone, sending my father some pictures I took with Sebastian Vettel when I came across someone, this time I lost my balance and I was about to fall but two strong arms caught me. Pierre Gasly, again.

"Honestly, we should stop meeting like this, you could get hurt," he says and laughs. "Are you ok?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," I say and bite my lip. "I should really start looking where I'm going."

My friends secretly took pictures of us.

"It's the second time we've met in less than 10 minutes, maybe the universe wants to tell us something, don't you think?" he says and holds out his hand. "Pierre."

I hold out my hand and smile wide. "Y/N."

I turn my gaze to Lila and Erica, presenting them to Pierre as well.

"I hope you feel good in the paddock. So far, the world has been nice to you and your friends?"

"Yes, everything has been good so far. We've only been to Aston Martin and they've all been very nice to us. Except for a few people who don't look where they're going, we haven't had any unexpected events." I say and laugh.

Pierre starts laughing too.

"Yes, I will try to look after you from now on and avoid you. I don't want to be the reason you fall. Although, if something happens, I know the medical team and you don't need medical insurance here."

I asked Pierre if he wanted to take some pictures with me and he accepted immediately. At least that's what I can do after I've run into you twice already.

For the next few hours, Lila and Erica, and I walked from one Hospitality to another, looking for drivers. They were all very nice to us and agreed to pose with us.

When it was time to start qualifying, we went to the room provided by McLaren for guests to watch.

I followed Pierre's position in the standings, Lila followed Lando's position and Erica followed Max's position. All three of us breathed a sigh of relief when the three boys passed into Q3.

Lando will leave from the seventh position tomorrow.

Pierre will start from the fourth position.

Max will start from pole position.

The three of us went to the hotel, ready to rest well for the next day.

If the atmosphere for qualifying had seemed charged to me, then the atmosphere before the race could not be described.

Yesterday everyone was behaving nicely and they were smiling. Now everyone was running past everyone, there were many screams and many curses could be heard. And everyone was frowning, not a smile in sight.

We didn't see any drivers, so we headed to McLaren Hospitality to get comfortable for the race. I unwittingly was disappointed. I wanted to see Pierre before the race to wish him good luck.

Although I hadn't wished him good luck, Pierre was lucky. He finished the race in second place, behind Max Verstappen. I was very happy and I wanted to go and congratulate him as soon as possible.

I watched the award from the window, filming and taking pictures which I was sure I would cherish for a long time to come.

"Congratulations!" I scream when I see him and he looks at me. "It was a very good race, congratulations!"

"Thank you!" he says and smiles at me.

I asked my friends to take some pictures with the trophy and champagne and then Pierre left, being shouted by someone from the team.

"Stay here, I'd like to see you one more time before you have to leave."

I could die then and there when I heard his words. Pierre Gasly wanted to see me again.

It's just that it hasn't happened before. We stayed there for another two hours and Pierre could not be found. It was getting late and everyone was starting to leave, so we left.

Monza is the most important economic, industrial and administrative center of the Brianza sub-region, being the third-largest city in Lombardy, with a population of about 120,000 inhabitants. When people think of Monza, the first thing that comes to mind is the famous Formula 1 Grand Prix that is held here every year.

Although many may think that Milan eclipses this smaller city, Monza should not be dismissed, having an absolutely sublime historical architecture, such as the Cathedral and the Leoni Bridge, but also features the huge Parco di Monza and of course the famous Formula 1 Autodromo.

The historic center of Monza stretches over a large area and in this area, you can find most historical sites and a guided tour of the history of cities.

Three months have passed since the Brazilian Grand Prix.

Three months since I first saw Pierre Gasly.

Although I have pictures of the two of us, I can't help but regret the fact that I didn't see him then; I will probably never see him again.

The exams passed and to relax completely my father and I got tickets to the Italian Grand Prix.

What I didn't know was that my father had taken VIP tickets.

That means we're going to the paddock.

Does that mean I can meet Pierre?

I tried not to have too many hopes, in the end, there are thousands of people there, I can't meet him, can I?

I didn't meet him on Friday. It had been the two practice sessions, everyone was as relaxed as possible, my father took pictures with everyone he saw, but Pierre was nowhere to be seen.

On Saturday we were late and did not catch the practice, but we saw the qualifications. Pierre starts from the tenth position. To be honest, I didn't have high expectations for tomorrow's race for Pierre.

And man I was wrong about that.

The whole race I was speechless. I heard my father from lap 23 and to the end cursing the accident that took Charles Leclerc out of the race.

My eyes were only on car number 10. I had the impression that I was blinking only when the camera moved to another car. I forgot to breathe when I saw the overtaking he was doing.

But he won.

Pierre Gasly won in Monza. His first ever Formula One career win and it was my home race.

Before we went out in the paddock looking for Pierre, after the premiere, I wiped away the tears I didn't know I had.

It wasn't hard for me to find him. Where there were a lot of people screaming and chanting, he must have been there too.

And I was right. He is enjoying his first victory with the whole team. Everyone wanted to hug and congratulate him.

As if he noticed my presence among the hundreds of people who were there, Pierre looked at me. I noticed his face light up and he came towards me.

"Y/N!" he says and hugs me.

I'm sure my father was shocked somewhere in the back. I hadn't told him that I had met Pierre, but after this hug, I will definitely have to explain to him what the situation is.

"Congratulations!" I tell him and I smile broadly. "First victory! Wow!"

He shrugs nonchalantly.

"I was lucky."

I laugh and hit him playfully in the shoulder.

"With Hamilton being penalized? You would have overtaken him without that penalty."

He looked into my eyes.

"I haven't found you after the race in Brazil."

The fact that he remembered had taken me by surprise. I was sure he couldn't remember the fact that he had proposed to me to stay on the circuit so that he could see me one more time.

I was sure that the second he left, he forgot what I looked like and forgot my name.

But no. He still knew me. He still knew my name and knew we had to see each other.

"I haven't seen you there before and I left after about two hours, it was getting late."

"I'm sorry, the teamwork had taken longer than I initially anticipated. When I went to look for you, no one was there. Then I realized I didn't even have your phone number. I tried to look for you on Instagram, but do you know how many girls are there with your name?"

I laughed.

"Well, I could give my phone number to the race winner now, if he wants it, of course. Do you think he would accept it?" you ask laughing.

Pierre blushes and bites his lip.

"I'm sure he would accept."

I take out of my bag the notebook and pen I was carrying with me to receive the drivers' autographs and write my phone number. I hand him the sheet just as Pierre is being taken by some engineers to the garage to celebrate the victory.

I laugh and wave at him.

I was at home with my father, watching a boring movie on Netflix. I've been looking at the phone constantly since last night, waiting for a message from Pierre but I haven't received anything.

"Ugh, this movie is so boring," I say and take my phone off the table. "Let me look for a more interesting one."

That's when I receive a message from a number I didn't save. I received a picture.

It was the picture with the prize Pierre received.

"The winner of the race has received your number and is wondering if you are free to dine with him."

I bit my lip, unable to control the smile on my face.

"If the winner of the race wants to go out on a date with me, who am I to say no?"

"8 o'clock?"

"I'll send you the address right away."