#which tells me that he knows jack about chong

[rubys-domain]

now that i think about it, i wonder how the rest of the playerbase actually sees chongyun. as in everyone who's not privy to his character stories and voice lines, and who probably haven't done his hangout event either. i wonder what kind of personality they think he has

[dramaclover]

Ending & Thoughts: Al Cappuccino

Another wacky and zany drama. Now I’m telling you now. Do not go into this drama expecting a dark thrilling undercover cop show. Cause this ain’t it. It’s more on the hilarious, lighthearted take on the police and triads. It’s not realistic in any way. Well I mean, no drama is fully realistic but this one is the exact opposite of how things should’ve gone down.

The amount of times where they talked OPENLY LOUD about who and who is undercover is ridiculous. It’s like they don’t even try to hide the fact. Typically only one or two people would know a certain someone is undercover. In this drama the handlers whole teams know, as well as her superiors. The amount of times they would meet up in public spaces or just casually call them over their personal phone is mind blowing. At first it was annoying, cause every time they did something so openly, I would think well “cover is blown”. But that’s not the case. As you continue to watch, you start to ignore it and pretend everyone is deaf and blind to this. When that happens the drama starts to become entertaining.

This whole drama just focused on one storyline and that is investigating who killed the triad boss. We don’t find out who it is until the very end. The stories in between talks about Chiang Sai Lung (Vincent Wong) taking over the head triads role. A lot of struggles in between with him trying to stay in this role. Side stories dealing with love lines, fan service scenes of bromance. The bromance was a huge factor and what made me so compelled to keep watching. Honestly Sai Lung and his 4 love interests were totally boring to me. I enjoyed his bromance with Go Bun (Owen Cheung)more. Also really liked Koo Yan Yi (Crystal Fung) as the handler and watch as the 3 become very close. This trio was fun to watch compared to those unnecessary side love stories.

Sai Lungs love story features heavily in this drama, so I can’t just not talk about them. The 4 woman in Sai Lungs life comprises of Koo Yan Yi aka Madam Koo, his handler that has a strong sense of justice & loyalty. So Tsz Shan (Kathy Yuen) a timid woman who aspires to be a teacher. Chong Ming Lai (Samantha Ko) a haughty actress. And Yiu Ching Shui aka Shui jie (Angel Chiang), the confident, outspoken business woman. Out of the 4, I only liked Madam Koo & Shui Jei. I guess this is TVBs attempt to make him similar to Chor Lau Heung where everyone falls in love with the male lead despite him not even trying.

Tsz Shan is so boring and easily bullied. She was not fun to watch, I didn’t think she had chemistry with Sai Lung and odd enough she was a huge fan favourite. Which I can’t wrap my head around, her character was just so bland to me. She’s so oblivious to her Dad and brothers wrongdoings. It gets annoying when she’s so blind to it all. I know it’s hard to believe your family member is evil, but really? Her role here is basically to be the main love interest to Sai Lung since she plays no role in solving the main mystery. She hasn’t even tried to help Sai Lung to uncover anything. She’s always so timid and getting put into a position where she’s in danger. Way too damsel in distress for me.

Ming Lai was super annoying, all she does is bother Sai Lung and threatens to make him stay by her side. And when she forces him to announce that their dating (they actually aren’t) she gets pissed when he leaves her for someone else. Like girl, you know he doesn’t like you. You blackmailed him into staying with you. Like what did you expect? Also her character could be written out and no one would notice her gone. That’s how unnecessary she was. She’s literally a filler character created to fill up the 30 episode slot. Samantha Ko is a great actress, it just sucks her role here is so unneeded.

Shui Jie was a breath of fresh air. Originally she was sent to seduce Sai Lung but she ends up falling for him instead. I really disliked how she fell for him though, it came out of nowhere. They met 4 times and suddenly she’s in love? It was to rush and random for me. But as a character itself, she was a breeze to watch. She’s super confident and smart. Unlike Tsz Shan she’s able to help Sai Lung in solving a lot of his problems and find ways to warn him of danger. I love how brave she is. She’s not afraid to tell someone she loves them and pursue it.

Madam Koo was also another likeable character. She doesn’t want to be known as just a pretty rich girl. She wants to prove that she can be a successful cop. You can tell how much faith she puts into Go Bun and Sai Lung. She treats them fairly and always finds way to help them. I really like how she can remain calm and think things through. When Go Bun and Sai Lung seemingly betrays her. She doesn’t get angry instead she goes and secretly investigates what’s going on. That is how she figured out how her Father was one of the masterminds. And she did that all alone.

Another side love story would be between Go Bun and Chiang Chin Ha (Winki Lai). They were fun to watch and had awesome chemistry. From the beginning we see that they both liked each other but won’t make a move. Chin Ha with her pride and knowing Go Bun would not reciprocate. Go Bun on the other hand is a cop. To him he can never be with someone involved with the triads. So it becomes a can’t help but love each other story. They were cute together but it was unrealistic for Chin Ha to forgive Go Bun so easily after finding out 1) he’s an undercover cop and 2) he only approached her to solve the case. Essentially Go Bun used her infiltrate the triad. The fact that it was glossed over so quickly made no sense. Chin Ha is a strong minded business person who strongly cares about her family. Yet, Go Bun lied to her all this time and used not only her but her family as well, and she’s okay with it? I’m glad they got a happy ending but I wished it showed more of the internal struggle with her finding out.

I’m always hoping for a good plot twist so I was secretly hoping that Cheung Sai Lun was actually Chiang Sai Lung. And that he was faking it the whole time cause he was upset that his family left him in the orphanage. The amount of scenarios that ran in my mind LOL. I also thought maybe he is Chiang Sai Lung but he himself didn’t know and it just became a case of mistaken identity (this would’ve been sooo good especially towards the end where they had a DNA test done). My third theory was Chiang Sai Lung is not dead and that he would show up in the end to reclaim his identity. But as you can see none of that happened. Don’t worry though, cause there were other plot twists that caught me off guard.

The first one is Sai Lung getting so caught up with his method acting that he actually becomes cruel. He along with Go Bun betrays Madam Koo and turns to the dark side of the triad. I was so invested in this. I really thought Sai Lung could no longer break his character and that he had fallen into deep. This has happened in real life where actors could no longer separate real from fake. I love that they added that into the storyline cause it makes it all real and scary. Of course turns out it was all an act to sniff out the real killer. Unfortunately it was easy to figure out that it was an act once he had a “fall out” with Go Bun. That part was a little too much for it to be real. And that’s when the surprises stop.

The second one would be the development of Szeto Shun (Jack Hui) a cop that relies on dirty tactics to climb up in ranks. He is one of the many antagonist, what makes him different though is that he repents and redeems himself by the end. His character had the best development if you ask me. He went from someone whose dream was to be a cop, to using underhanded methods to get his way to finally becoming a human again. He gets so caught up in promotions that he forgot why he became a cop in the first place which is for justice. When he helped Madam Koo arrest the bad guy he said something along the lines of “I have done bad things, but in the end I’m still a cop”. He said that as the reason why he decided to do the right thing for once. At first I thought he’d be the typical evil cop that ends up dying. But this character proved me wrong. In the end he turns himself in as he wanted to take responsibility for his actions.

I was shocked that no one died in this drama. And when I say that I obviously meant the main characters. Usually the obligatory best friend, love interest, family member heck even one of the bad guys would die. But that didn’t happen. They all survived, even the bad guys just quietly went to jail. Speaking of bad guys, their problems were resolved so quickly that it was pointless. We did not sit through all of that drama just for the bad guys to one by one casually reveal what happened. It was so unoriginal too. Like Madam Koos father got touched by her speech about good and evil that her father confessed to the crime. Tsz Shans father out of guilt for being the cause of her daughters injuries confessed to everything to “repent”. Even the ultimate black cop just spewed the truth out once asked. Like I understand he was caught red handed but he literally revealed all of the information once questioned? He’s not even gonna try to fight it? He doesn’t even have an emotional backstory for him to feel guilty to admit the truth. It just happened. It was so nonsensical that I got confused that it all ended so quickly. There wasn’t even a huge fighting showdown. Which is why I say despite this dubbed as a undercover triad thriller drama. It isn’t! Being an undercover cop was like a backdrop, even the mystery death was sidelined. The focus was on the familial and bromance relationship. The drama would’ve been short if they hadn’t added in the random romances.

Acting wise, I’ve seen a lot of hate against Crystal. There were so many complaints in the international forums I literally thought she was a train wreck. Well she wasn’t. I don’t see how she ruined the drama? I’m convinced that people just complain about her cause they aren’t happy about her being promoted by TVB. But guys you need to chill. Her acting is pretty decent. She isn’t screaming her lines or bulging her eyes out. She is stiff and needs more work on enunciating. This was her first leading drama and she’s still so new. I really thought her acting would be like Sisley Choi from 2012 with the screaming or Charmaine Sheh from 1998 with the overreacting. But she wasn’t. Also people complained about her wardrobe cause she was dressed so fashionably. Are you guys blind? All the main males in this drama are dressed in suits 24/7 whether they’re a cop or not. Literally Go Bun and Sai Lung wears a suit everyday walking around. They’re not wearing causal wear. Why is no one hating on them? The double standards are scary. But then again it could just be hate against Crystal in general. Back when Niki Chow and Kate Tsui played as cops they would wear high heels and pretty clothes as well but no one said anything. And this drama was anything but realistic. I find that it’s the international fans that are complaining, Hong Kong netizens are actually satisfied with Crystal.

Owen Cheung has finally found his niche and that is comedy. Every drama he’s been in, I’ve always been unimpressed with him. But then I figured out it’s mostly cause he gets typecasted as the “hot” guy in which I personally think he’s not. He’s more suited for nerdy roles like (The Offliners) or comedic roles like this one. It’s like how Benjamin Yuen is wooden in serious roles and only good in comedy ones as well. The bromance between him Vincent was great. So hilarious that I sometimes wished the drama just focused on their bromance only.

The ending was open ended in a way. Go Bun and Chin Ha gets married. The Chiang family has left the triad behind and deals with legal business only. Sai Lun has to make a choice of staying in Hong Kong or pursuing his acting dreams overseas. And between the 4 woman in love with him, he doesn’t end up with either of them. Only ending with saying how he’s happy he met the 4 of them. Obviously he loves Tsz Shan the most. No question about it. The 4 woman knows that as well. So I don’t know why they ended it like that. This is the first drama where the female lead loves the male lead but they don’t end up together. Instead he falls fall for the second lead instead. I’m okay with it as I prefer Madam Koo and Sai Lun as good friends but it’s surprising to see them go down this route instead. Sequel? Hmm I don’t know. What could the sequel be about? Sai Lun can’t just go undercover in a different family again. Unless they shift the focus from triad/ cops to something else.

Despite the flaws I love this drama. I kept wanting to watch the next episode compared to Death by Zero. I was just so into the bromance and the hilarious antics. It’s just so entertaining. I know I complained a lot, but this is one drama I highly recommend you to watch. Just don’t go into it believing it’s like Infernal Affairs or Line Walker. This is in the running to be one of TVBs better dramas of 2020 along with Brutally Young and Death by Zero!

[harveywritings92]

Happy Death day to you [Dante’s Version.]

She's dead...she's dead, his Y/n was dead? how-how could she..."I was only gone for three days..wh-" he dropped the floor still processing Trish had told him, some truck driver ran a red light as some kids were crossing..he was drunk and didn't even notice them...Y/n ran out into the street and shoved them outta of the way and took the hit, She died on impact...

And with it Dante's will to live died with her, alcohol only numb him up, women? no point they weren't his N/n...His friends and family were worried about him, he didn't even go to her funeral. The half-Devil kept expecting the y/height woman to walk through his door like nothing happen ask how his gig went and life would return to normal...But no such luck. Y/n was dead and she wasn't coming back.

Three weeks later...

Dante was at a diner with Morrison and Patty they managed to dragged him out of his room with the prospects of a job. In reality they just wanted to get him outside and try to help him get back to normal goofball Dante. As Morrison explained the job details.

Dante's dull blue eyes traveled to a booth a few tables away he cocked a brow at the odd bunch, which consisted of a bald man with an olive complexion, tired grey eyes and an aura that screamed 'I'm too old for this crap.' Who was giving out orders and handing out post-it to the other's at his table.

a 40 something blond woman in a mailman's uniform and a wash out hippie who looked like Tommy Chong's lost love child. and for some reason an empty space, *Must have a few screws lose...*  he thought as a waitress blocked his view of the hippie.

The old man and mail-Woman ordered breakfast the the hippie ordered a coffee to go, the Waitress then gestured to the empty space next to him. "And you?" the waitress asked boredly as the mail woman snorted while the old man smirked.

"She means you Nibblet." he said taking a sip of water, Dante's brow furrowed who was he talking to? there were only three people at their booth. "I...y-you can see me?" a small very familiar voice croaked the half-devil's heartbeat spiked.

The waitress looked at the fourth person annoyed "Dammit Nate, what have I told you about bringing your junkie friends around here?!" Hippie put his hands up in defense and waitress sneered at the "junkie" who was gawking at her bewildered.

"She not a junkie, that's his niece she just woke up..and she'll take a coffee too." the old man said curtly to the embarrassed waitress who just left to get their order, Dante's eyes winded in shock at the sight of his dead girlfriend sitting in the booth clothes covered in blood with her knees pulled to her chest gawking at the direction the waitress went as Nate spoke up "My niece, what's all that noise?" Only the be talked over by the Y/n who pointed at the waitstaff confused.

"How the hell could she see me? you said I was like a ghost!"   

"Yes, I did say that didn't I?"

"Then what was..how?"

"If you weren't so busy crying, you would've heard me say you were incubating." He said as the waitress returned with their food and drinks, The bald man smiled at the sight of his scrambled eggs and waffles, as the h/c woman looks at him expectantly.

 "Oh, I'm not telling you, that's his job." he said pointing his fork at Nate who look at him stunned "Are you out of your mind Glenn?!" the hippie shouted causing everyone in the diner to looked at him, the scruffy man blanched waved everyone off.

"I can't haul around some roadie and work at the same time." His hissed at this the blond woman to snorted "Work..he calls it." as Nate glared at her before looking around the diner for something "Where Ash? let her take the roadie..." he said as Glenn shook his head. "Who do you think Nibblet's here to replace?" he said suddenly causing a pregnant pause in the group as Glenn kept eating his waffles.

"Ash is..gone?" Blondie said suddenly not hungry anymore as she her oatmeal away and Nate slowly sat down "She didn't even say goodbye." he said as Y/n looked at them confused as the balding sighed "Y'know she couldn't have; even if that was choice, Now get her cleaned and show her how things work." 

Glenn said numbly before returning to his breakfast as Nate looked he wanted to cry but sighed "This way Roadie." he gestured for Y/n to follow him all while Dante sat frozen still processing what he had just witnessed. The half-devil was brought out of it by Patty snapping her finger fingers "Dante are you listening?" she huffed as Morrison stared at him concerned. 

The devil hunter look at them then back at the booth Y/n and that Nate guy were gone, Blondie was having a hushed argument with Glenn. His brow furrowed as nodded towards the booth. "Did you both see that?" He asked shaken and clearly wondering if his mind had finally snapped, Patty looked a the booth incredulously before snorting.

"Oh yeah, the guy who dumped jello and ketchup on his niece! that was funny." she giggled as Morrison chuckled along " His brother really laid it into him didn't he?" the two continued laughing while Dante couldn't believe what he was hearing, that's not what happened at all! how could they have heard something completely different from what he had? distressed Dante got up from the table and went outside ignoring Morrison and Patty calling him. 

But alas they were both long gone it would be another month before he saw Y/n's look alike again. And at that point he concluded that it had to be a demon posing as his dead girlfriend...They must've taken a page from Mundas and created it to manipulate him for something...But for what? Dante was drawing blanks, he was walking back to the shop one afternoon with a fresh bottle of cheap whiskey in hand.

When someone careened into Dante knocking them to the ground, the half-devil didn't even flinch as he stopped in his tracks and looked down at the person, They were wearing a hoodie they couldn't see them properly. However before he could ask if they were okay or help them up, the person shot up to their feet giving him a clear look at their face Y/n...

"Sorry Da...Dude." She check her watch." Fuck I am so late!" she hissed rushing down the street. Not noticing Dante following her watching as she took out a post-it and looked at the street signs, finally looking relieved *must've have found the street she was looking for...* the hunter thought as he watched her turn the corner.

Dante hesitated it could be an ambush... or it could be the answer to what the hell was going on? taking a breath Dante rounded the corner to see a very disturbing scene; Y/n standing over a mangled body of a man, who'd obviously gotten run over and left for dead in the back street like a piece of garbage. the half-devil brows furrowed as he watched from the shadows as gremlin looking demons hissed and sneered at the h/c woman who just waved them off.

"Yeah, yeah I know!" she huffed before reaching her hand out towards the corpse. "Hey buddy, c'mon time to get up pal!" she said as a ghostly hand extended from the body grabbing hers, Dante's blue eyes widened shock as Y/n pulled a guy out of the mangled remains or rather his spirit. the guy looked at her confused then down at his body.

"Oh god, i-s that??"

"Yep, that's you."

"What... I'm...Who are you??" the guy stammered looked back and fourth at her and his body incredulously Y/n winced glaring at her watch, she didn't have time for this! "Y/n, grim reaper, harvesters of souls.. giver of jack shit. yada-yada, could you speed this up? I got three more appointments after you." She said rolling her hand at the dude who looked her up and down in disbelief, "But you're not a skeleton." he sputtered out the obvious as Y/n nodded and started to walk away.

"That's Fairy-tale bull-shit, listen I would've gotten here sooner. but the city bus scheduling is a joke!" she hiss throwing her hands in the air as the dude sighed in annoyance. "Tell me about it..." with that his soul faded away as Y/n walked out of the street just barely missing getting crushed by an AC unit.

"You missed motherfuckers!" she shouted as two of those little gremlin demons crawled down from the roofs and started arguing with each other. Y/n shook her head as took out a new post-it [T.j. Miller DTOD 14:14] the address it was close by, her tired e/c eyes checked her watch she still had an hour to kill...

she sighed bumping into something "arg...what is with me and bumping int-" she her voice dead when she saw who she bumped into Dante...pointing Ebony right at her face Y/n slowly put her hands up as she broke out into a cold sweat, she heard the safety unlock as the h/c mouth felt dry swallowed hard and croaked out the only thing she could think of at the moment. "...Aw Shit." 

{[BANG!]}

[aion-rsa]

30 Rock’s Best Running Jokes

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

When 30 Rock drew its final breath in 2013, yards of column inches were devoted – deservedly so – to praising the work of creator Tina Fey. Article upon article applauded the characters, cast, performances and seven seasons of energetic, inventive, satirical comedy.

More than anything else though, 30 Rock was always about the gags. It was fruitcake-dense with jokes, regularly fitting in more quotable laughs before its opening credits than many shows manage in a full half-hour. As it returns for a one-off reunion special, join us in celebrating the many, many running gags of its seven-season history, from the fake movies, to the terrible yet incredibly catchy songs, Frank’s hats, and those godawful TGS sketches…

The fake movies 

The presence of Tracy Jordan (a bonafide Martin Lawrence meets the Wayans Brothers-style movie star) in the TGS cast opened up the world of film parody to 30 Rock.

Admittedly Jenna Maloney also enjoyed a movie career of sorts, but while she was being offered the part of “any blonde actress” in torture porn flicks by the producers who watched and rented Saw, Tracy was turning down the lead in Garfield 3: Feline Groovy to pursue his serious acting career. The latter climaxed with the release of spot-on Precious parody Hard To Watch (Based on the novel Stone Cold Bummer by Manipulate), for which Tracy received the O in his EGOT plan. Sheer class.

Over the years though, who couldn’t not smile at Tracy’s blaxpoitation-filled back catalogue, from the timeless romance of A Blaffair to Rememblack, to Sherlock Homie, Who Dat Ninja?, The Chunks 2: A Very Chunky Christmas, and last but by no means least, Honky Grandma Be Trippin’. The man is a chameleon (in that he’s always a lizard).

Two of Jenna’s TGS projects however, bring back the fondest memories of 30 Rock’s stinging movie satire: small-town legal drama The Rural Juror (based on a Kevin Grisham novel), and her GE-produced life rights-avoiding Janis Joplin biopic, Sing Them Blues White Girl: The Jackie Jormp Jomp Story.

The TGS sketches 

The quality of TGS’ output was never under question in 30 Rock; the sketch show was unremittingly bad (when the absence of their star meant a ‘Best of TGS’ series had to be run in lieu of live shows, Legal objected to their use of the word ‘Best’, and when a review dubbed it the worst comedy ever made, Liz was thrilled they’d defined it as a comedy). Liz Lemon’s opus was a fluorescent collection of fart gags, dodgy caricatures, Jenna’s songs, and misjudged celebrity impressions.

Beginning life as, in Kenneth’s words, “a real fun ladies comedy show for ladies”, TGS was Saturday Night Live’s idiot brother, the unsophisticated thorn in NBC’s side, under constant threat of controversy and cancellation. Forced to synergise backward overflow, advertise parent company products and promote GE interests, 30 Rock’s show-within-a-show satirised both the TV industry and tired trends in comedy (the always hilarious combination of a fat woman who’s sexually confident! Old ladies are crazy! Farts!).

Lemon may have seduced pilot Carol (Matt Damon) with her Fart Doctor skits, but TGS failed to win many hearts. With sketches like Pam the Overly Confident Morbidly Obese Woman, Ching-Chong Man Who Loves to Play Ping-Pong, Fat Hillary Clinton, Bear vs. Killer Robots, Me Want Food, and Gaybraham Lincoln, why it wasn’t more successful is a mystery.

Astronaut Mike Dexter 

Lemon may have ended up with James Marsden’s Criss Chros, but fictional boyfriend Astronaut Mike Dexter will always hold a special place in her heart. Handsomer than Dr Drew, less British than Wesley Snipes, less living-in-Cleveland than Floyd, and a million times better than Dennis Duffy, Astronaut Mike Dexter had it all… except of course, a corporeal self. 

The fake songs 

Over the years, Jenna Maroney’s singing career has vomited up some truly dreadful creations, and topping the list has to be Muffin Top (a big hit in the king-making music markets of Israel and Belgium). Seguing from its pop insanity chorus “My muffin top is all that, wholegrain, low-fat” into a Madonna-style spoken-word rap “I’m an independent lady, so please don’t try to play me. I run a tidy bakery. The boys all want my cake for free”, the song is a battery assault on the senses.

But is it worse than Jenna’s summer dance jam, Balls, which earned her the princely sum of $50 in royalties? Or her computer generated, generic benefit song in aid of an unspecific natural disaster, which urged viewers to donate to “help the people the thing that happened, happened to”? How about the Jackie Jormp Jomp performance she gave of Chunk Of My Lung, written by Jack five minutes before the show, containing the classic line “You know you’ve bought it if life makes you sweet food”? Or Fart So Loud, the un-Weird Al-able song she and Tracy wrote after he parodied the theme to Avery Jessup TV movie Kidnapped? Such riches…

It’s not only Jenna who’s provided 30 Rock’s musical intervals of course. Season three finale Kidney Now! welcomed an eclectic collection of stars including Sheryl Crow, Mary J Blige, Elvis Costello, Moby, two of the Beastie Boys, Wyclef Jean, and Cyndi Lauper to perform a We Are The World-style anthem at the Milton Green benefit gig. Angie Jordan famously released a fifteen-second single My Single Is Dropping, to ride on the wave of her reality-show fame, Frank and Pete’s Sound Mound came up with unforgettable rock anthem Weekend Woman, and in the very same episode, even Tina Fey got in on the action by providing excellent Joni Mitchell parody, Paints and Brushes.

The legacy award though, as in the 30 Rock fake song that will continue to bring joy to the hearts of fans decades from now, has to go to one song, and one song only: Tracy Jordan’s Werewolf Bar Mitzvah.

Frank’s hat slogans 

Off-set, stand-up Judah Friedlander favours his ‘World Champion’ trucker hat, the one he claims to have been awarded as the winner of the World Championships of pretty much all sports, martial arts, and that time he karate kicked Chuck Norris’ beard off his face and forced him to legally change his name to Charles.

On-set as Frank Rossitano though, Friedlander wears a series of self-designed trucker hats, each bearing a different gnomic slogan. Often incongruous, sometimes suggestive, and always odd, Frank’s hat slogans are part of the bricks and mortar of 30 Rock. In terms of favourites, we’re quite fond of ‘Alabama Legsweep’, or the laconic enigma of ‘And’, though ‘Shark Cop’, ‘Half Centaur’ and ‘Space Gravy’ also caught our eye over the seasons.

Jenna’s Mickey Rourke sex stories 

Like Dot Com’s intellectualism, this running gag may have been introduced late into proceedings, but Jenna’s torrid sexual history with putty-faced beefcake Mickey Rourke gave J-Mo some of her best lines. Jenna’s allusions to Rourke’s sexually deviant and murderous attempts on her life paint a fascinating picture for 30 Rock fans. Here are some of the finest:

“Your new vibe is a double-edged sword, much like the kind Mickey Rourke tried to kill me with”, “Nice try Hazel, but you made the same mistake Mickey Rourke made on that catamaran. You didn’t kill me when you had the chance.”, “I’m going to have to reinvent you. Break you down completely and build you up from scratch. Just like Mickey Rourke did to me sexually.” “Next time you’ll tell me Mickey Rourke catapulted you into the Hollywood sign.” “You know what they say, if you can’t stand the heat, get off Mickey Rourke’s sex grill.” Wise words.

Kenneth the immortal page 

To this day Kenneth Ellen Parcell remains something of an enigma to 30 Rock viewers. In later seasons, Jack McBrayer’s character went from being a simple country rube from Stone Mountain, Georgia to  the flesh vessel for a mysterious immortal with no reflection, no age, and links to a world beyond our own.

Plenty of reference has been made to Kenneth’s ageless and supernatural state over the years, including the suggestion that not only is he unable to die, but he’s also an angel, sent to oversee the transition of souls from one world to the next.

The fake TV shows 

It’s either a credit to the 30 Rock team or a condemnation of our times that Jack Donaghy’s hit reality viewer vote show, MILF Island, no longer feels like a parody. In generations to come, time will no doubt erode the boundaries between fact and fiction, and we 30 Rock fans will be telling our kids about the time we watched Deborah beat her competitors and claim MILF victory in the same breath as educating them about those people who ate kangaroo anuses for public approval.

MILF Island stands head and shoulders above the rest of 30 Rock’s fake TV shows (including TGS itself, lest we not forget), but that doesn’t mean that Gold Case, Los Amantes Clandestinos, Black Frasier, Homonym, or the inimitable Bitch Hunter deserve any less respect. Our fallen brothers, we salute you.

We could go on indefinitely listing the recurring jokes that made 30 Rock great, from Liz’s sandwich lust and desire to go to there, to Jack’s gloriously thatched head of hair and Republican conspiracies. As the show prepares to return, which of the above will live again?

30 Rock: A One-Time Special lands on NBC on Thursday July 16th at 8pm in the US.

The post 30 Rock’s Best Running Jokes appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[vonbaghager]

So in the spirit of October me n some of the boys, Joey, Jack, and Zack, went down to the old graveyard to perform a bit of Meme Necromancy. Really spruce up our blogs with some old fossils, yknow? People do it all the time around these parts, bringing back stuff from 2, 5, 8, or even 10 years ago. All of em end up back in their old plots in just a few months, anyway, so it's a harmless hobby... So long as you don't run afoul of the gravekeeper, that is.

The gravekeeper of dead memes is a nasty sort of person, but thankfully he's only really around at night so, ironically, it's best to head to the meme graveyard during the day, dig up what you wanted, and raise them back later that night. Simple! Only problem at that point was that, as soon as we got there, it looked like more or less every blogger in town had gotten the same idea.

Zack was the most upset, I think, because he'd been bragging about his new pair of bolt cutters and was ready to show them off against the chains used to seal the gates shut. I was the one that reminded him the gates aren't chained during the day anyway, and that seemed to just deflate the guy. Whatever, though, we had bigger problems: more or less every grave we went to had already been dug up. Y U NO, FFFFUUUU, I LIED... pretty much every single rage comic face was gone, even the shitty ones no one really knew the names of. Everything to do with Spiderman had been excavated the instant Spiderverse came out, and those memes hadn't died again in the intervening times. I Can Haz Cheezburger had been getting dressed up and puppets around Weekend at Bernies-style for YEARS at this point, but we at least thought some old cat memes might still be around!

Nope, nothing. Ceiling Cat, Keyboard Cat, Longcat and even freaking Tacgnol were gone, and from there we could see even the old, old memes had been disturbed, too. It was really a shame, because I was looking forward to aging my followers backwards 30 years by having the Hamster Dance go on my autoplay. Jack had been humming Badger Badger Badger for close to 20 minutes, to the point we were about ready to push him into its open and empty grave once we found it.

At this point, we were ready to call it quits, when Joey spots this... crypt. Like, some mausoleum or something. A small room, just THERE, sticking out between all the gravestones. It looked almost out of place, especially when we saw that it was almost completely undecorated. Perplexed and not wishing to leave empty handed we cautiously approached and looked for any sign indicating what might be contained within, and... nothing. Well. Almost nothing.

There were marks on the ground, towards the door. Things being... dragged. To or from, we couldn't tell, which made Zack immediately turn and leave. He was probably the smartest, but what was there to be scared of but the gravekeeper? Even HE wasn't that scary, it was the fines he'd slap you with for disturbing old dirt. This wasn't old dirt, though, this was solid stone with a door that opened all too easily when I tried it, now more curious than ever.

I didn't know what we expected to see inside. Skeletons, or cobwebs, or dead bodies, or open coffins, or like... old screamer sites, perhaps. Scary Maze Game, Bong Chong Dong Ghost Story, that sort of stuff. It would have been fitting for those to be locked away in a crypt, but no. All that was inside, sitting in the middle of a clean and polished floor, was a single, lit candle. Jack's face paled immediately upon seeing it, but before he could say a si

[tsuki-sennin]

My honest opinions on the cast of DR1, as well as dumb nicknames I had for each one. (Spoilers, maybe.)

Makoto (The Main Boi): He fine. Both in the looks and character department. He represents the audience so that anyone can project themselves onto him, but he has just enough character to keep him from just being an observer/the resident Phoenix Wright. Rather fittingly, I didn’t have any strong feelings on Bryce Papenbrook before this game, but as I got to hear him talk more and more, I grew to really like him thanks to Makoto. Good job, man.

Hifumi (Random Nerd): Even after all these years, I still don’t like him. I just don’t. Matter of fact, I don’t think anyone did. Lucien Dodge deserved better than this guy. He’s got a killer tie, however.

Leon (Man who looks like he’s 20 more than the guy who actually is 20): He’s cool, but I honestly don’t like him either. He has a sick design, but I really wish I could’ve heard him try singing in game. Even if it sucked, I’d have loved to hear him try and move beyond his baseball problem.

Sayaka (Discount Maya Fey): T-H-O-T! Okay, I’ll knock her back up to the one who first caused me despair. I was pretty iffy on the game at first, but she convinced me to stick around once the first case came around. Still not a fan of her voice, with no disrespect towards Dorothy Elias Fahn intended.

Toko/Genocide(r) Jack/Jill/Sho/Syo (Novella, which I guess was a reference to Misao, and Man-Eater): BEST GIRL! BEST GIRL! BEST GIRL! BEST GIRL! BEST GIRL! FUCKING BOW BEFORE HER, YOU SUBHUMAN TRESH! I WILL GLADLY DIE TO HER! AND I WILL GLADLY BE GREEN WITH ENVY AT THE MEN SHE WRITES! Amanda Celine Miller and Erin Fitzgerald really made this literary cutie come into her own in a game with such good female characters already.

Kiyotaka (AP Buttfucking): You know that no-fun motherfucker in your class with a stick shoved up his asshole, and every class he has is AP? That was Kiyotaka for me the first time I played the game. I just couldn’t stand him, even long after I got to know him. I barely felt a thing when he got bludgeoned. Yet despite this, for some reason, I got really pissed when I learned that Hifumi and Celestia were responsible for his death. Maybe that was when I realized how admirable this guy really was.

Aoi (Baywatch): She’s awesome, definitely. Not only is she relatable, but her interactions with Sakura were a real highlight for me.

Mondo (Kuwabara): Now him, I liked through and through. I was already a fan of Keith Silverstein, but the way he pulled off the tough guy act was a damn riot to watch. Chris Sabat in the anime was also a joy to listen to.

Mukuro (Regina/The Boss): I wish we got to know her a bit more than we got to, but she’s great too. Tied for second-best girl, in fact. Guess Amanda Celine Miller strikes again.

Junko (Charlotte the Harlot): Gotta be honest, I feel Junko’s sadism in hindsight. She’s a damn good main villain, and her design just makes me just go wild. Amanda Celine Miller and Erin Fitzgerald strike again with their god-tier voice talent, but Jamie Marchi’s interpretation is just as awesome. And Monokuma is fucking hilarious, if not disturbing. The other half of the tie for second-best girl.

Chihiro (Miss Shrimp/Mister Shrimp): As soon as I realized that this boi, voiced by Dorothy Elias Fahn, who had spent the whole first chapter of this game convincing me that he was a chick, was a dude, I was like “...why am I not turned off by him?” And from that day onward I blamed him for my interest in pretty men. Alter Ego is pretty great too.

Kyoko (Naoto Jr.): OMFG I LOVE HER. SHE’S SO AWESOME AND I WANT HER TO FUCKING THROTTLE MY NECK WITH HER BEAUTIFUL HANDS. THIS WOMAN IS A BOSS-ASS BITCH, AND SHE GETS SHIT DONE BECAUSE OF IT. NAEGI IS SMASHING THIS WOMAN, AND FRANKLY I FUCKING ENVY HIM! Erika Harlacher gave her the perfect voice, and Caitlin Glass just... BARELY falls short.

Celestia (Killer Queen): This woman just... scares me. Marieve Herington really did well here, but... something about her just... made my skin crawl. I didn’t feel that way with anyone else, not even Hifumi, but when I pieced together that she was responsible for Kiyotaka’s death, she made me swear to avenge my bro who I never appreciated. So I suppose Marie Antoinette has that going for her.

Hagakure (Cheech and Chong... no, I didn’t know his VA was Asian, so SHUSH): I didn’t like him much, similarly to Kiyotaka, but he won me over with funny dialogue and how relatable his thought process was to mine at the time. Even if I wanted Chihiro to live more, I can live with him being alive.

Sakura (Akuma): Her interactions with Aoi are great, and you could grind meat on those muscles. She’s so cool too, and I legitimately cried when I found her dead, and even more-so when I realized why she killed herself.

Byakuya (Japanese Malfoy): ...I tolerated him... I dealt with him... I developed a mutual understanding with him... I didn’t like him, and even from in front of the screen I could tell he didn’t like me. That was fine by me. But the fact that this was the guy who Toko wanted made me angry, and it was because of that I declared him my rival. I swore that once we got out of Hope’s Peak, I would personally track him down and fight him... at least until I met the rest of his family through supplementary material and now... I just feel bad he’s related to such bland/boring characters when he is so much more interesting and likable. So yeah, I have no quarrel with you, Jason Wishnov/Josh Grelle... fuck your family though.

...I might make a follow up with Super Dangan Ronpa 2, if this gets any traction.

[tomemyxmen2017-blog]

The Best (and Worst) Free Comics of FCBD 2018

Of the fifty-two comics released for Free Comic Book Day 2018, there were an unsurprisingly high number of excellent comics in this year’s class. Here are my picks for the best of the best (with a few dishonorable mentions too) from the many choices available this year.

THE BEST

10. BERLIN by Jason Lutes (w, a, c). (Drawn & Quarterly).

Set in 1928 Germany, a journalist and an art student meet on a train to Berlin; when they arrive, the young student is surprised by what she sees, and the journalist must navigate a changing climate for the press. Narrated in part by the main characters’ writings (his reporting and her diary), this street-level view of Berlin prior to the rise of fascism is masterful and cinematic. Even in this preview, the sense of menace and dread to the events that are to come in the story permeates every page. Absolutely genius. Part of a series written over the past twenty years, this FCBD release promotes the hardcover omnibus of the series due for release in fall 2018.

9. STRANGERS IN PARADISE by Terry Moore (w, a). (Abstract Studios).

The issue opens with an exciting pickpocket scene in which Scott, a generic business type, has his phone and SIM card stolen. He later contacts his wife, Laura, to tell her that he’ll be late coming home and why, prompting Laura to stoically retrieve her run bag and leave home for good. The phone thief heads to Laura’s house to discover she’s already gone and runs into Scott; the thief reveals that “Laura” is actually Stephanie Kelly, a Parker girl caught up in treason and espionage. This is a dynamic, fully realized introduction to what seems like a fun and exciting story loaded with intelligent, powerful women kicking all kinds of ass.

8. ULTRA STREET FIGHTER II #1 by Ken Siu-Chong (w), Hanzo Steinbach (a), Marshall Dillon (l). (Udon).

Trying to shake off his dark side, Ken meets with Ryu to fight through his worst urges and achieve some balance in his life. The pair travel to Japan for some high-level meditation (and fighting, of course), but that only gets Ken so far. Later in San Francisco, Ken is surprised by an attack from Rufus, and during the battle, he learns to control his evil within. Although this comic attempts to apply drama to a fighting video game, the result is fun, colorful, ridiculous, and delightfully entertaining. What more could you want out of a Street Fighter comic?

7. SHADOWMAN by Andy Diggle (w), Stephen Segovia (w), Karl Bollers (e). (Valiant).

Alyssa and her guide Isiah explore the swamps of Louisiana at night, searching for the cause of cursed water that’s making locals sick. She encounters a monster, the Grinder of Bones, and tries to use magic to protect herself to no avail. She runs, and summons Papa Legba for guidance: in return, her friend Jack, now the Shadowman, appears from a portal to help her in her fight. With gorgeous artwork, beautiful coloring, and a plot like nothing else on the stands right now, this issue draws readers into this world so effortlessly that it’s hard to imagine someone reading this issue without being fully engrossed and wanting to pick up the whole series. Terrifically well-done.

6. THE GHOST IN THE SHELL by Max Gladstone (w), David Lopez (a), Nayoung Kim (color), Jodi Wynne (l), Alejandro Arbona (e), Ben Applegate (e). (Kodansha).

Major Kusanagi (aka Motoko) and Aramaki are intercepted by an American Ghost Force Squad while on a business trip to Shangai. After her arrest, Motoko dramatically escapes through the streets of Shangai and meets her old wartime enemy, Li; the pair must work together to save Aramaki and others. This issue, part of an upcoming anthology, is perhaps the most complete, cover-to-cover, issue released on FCBD. At a whopping forty-five pages, readers are treated to an entire story that is exceptional all on its own. This is a fabulous issue that will convert even the most stoic of non-believers into fans of this character and this series.

5. RELAY by Zac Thompson (w), Andy Clarke (a), Eric Bromberg (st), Donny Cates (st), Dan Brown (color), Charles Pritchett (l), Mike Marts (e). (Aftershock).

In this sci-fi story, a space traveler lands on a planet with an undeveloped population and offers them “the Relay,” a monolith that creates uniformity in technology and ideas. Is it intergalactic socialism, or will it be intergalactic fascism? The Relay seemingly destroys community identity and cultural heritage with a new sort of religion: ultimate fath in the monolith itself. This is an expertly paced and well-rendered metaphor that gives sci-fi fans something deeper to ponder.

4. MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS by Kyle Higgins (w), Ryan Parrott (w), Digo Galindo (a), Marcelo Costa (color), Ed Dukeshire (l), Dafna Pleban (e). (Boom!).

This one takes me back! Chosing to advertise its best-selling series, Boom! strategically used its FCBD option to bridge the gap between fans of the old TV show(s) and the current comics mythology, hoping to draw in readers who may have been overwhelmed by the thousands of different Power Ranger characters and their convoluted origin stories and missions. This issue is a straight-forward explanation of how the first episode of the original TV series connects to the comic storyline today, with some surprisingly awesome artwork and a shockingly murderous ending. The issue concedes its childish origins, but by the end, these aren’t your kids’ Power Rangers anymore!

3. AVENGERS by Jason Aaron (w), Sarah Pichelli (p, i), Elisabetta D’Amico (i), Justin Ponsor (color), Cory Petit (l), Tom Brevoort (e). (Marvel).

This issue, frankly, defied my expectations. As the official free preview to Marvel’s “Fresh Start,” there was a lot riding on this issue, the release of which coinciding with yet another reboot of the Avengers in the same week and a blockbuster weekend for the House of Ideas at the cinema a week prior. And it did not disappoint. In a direct follow-up to last year’s Marvel Legacy #1, Odin meets with Black Panther in the ruins of Asgard. Odin explains that he has fallen to Loki and his manipulation of a Celestial and requests that T’Challa kill Loki; he agrees. The story ends in another scene with Captain America and Thor reaching out to Tony Stark for a meeting between the three of them as a new Avengers era begins. Rather than using its FCBD offering to pump in half-assed action, Aaron instead tries to win new readers over with a well-told and interesting story setup. It is refreshing to see Marvel return to storytelling in its flagship series rather than resort to the redundant tropes of its recent past. Very well done.

2. JAMES BOND 007: VARGR by Warren Ellis (w), Jason Masters (a), Guy Major (color), Simon Bowland (l), Joseph Rybant (e). (Dynamite).

On a mission in Finland, 007 hunts down 008’s killer and exacts gruesome revenge. Later at MI6 Headquarters, M is assigned to take over 008’s case load, setting up a story that is simultaneously exhilirating for new readers and faithful in spirit to fans of the classic Bond. With darkly exquisite artwork throughout (particularly the Helsinki scene) and a character whose charm radiates off the page, it’s hard to imagine any comic fan not falling madly in love with this series.  Originally published in 2016, this issue and the rest of the story is already available in trade.

1.BARRIER by Brian K. Vaughn (w), Marcos Martin (a, c), Muntsa Vincente. (Image).

No comic in this bunch left my jaw on the floor and mouth agape quite like this one. In this exquisite story, Liddy discovers signs of a Mexican cartel using her land, which happens to be on the Texas-Mexican border, as a throughway for drug trades and illegal immigration. In a parallel story, Oscar migrates from his home in Honduras to reach the U.S., crossing onto Liddy’s land in the middle of the night. She finds him and holds him at gunpoint suddenly the pair are interrupted. It’s a contemporary story involving gruesome violence, cartels, guns, and sci-fi. Half the issue is in Spanish (a language deficit won’t detract from your enjoyment of the issue), and the entire book – at an impressive fifty-three pages – is elegantly printed in landscape format. The artwork is phenomenal. The writing is incomparable. This is simply a perfect comic book from cover to cover. Frankly, I’m shocked it was available for FCBD as it’s well-worth a cover price. I recommend this enthusiastically, and I can’t wait to pick up the whole series this month. An exceptional beauty of a comic.

THE WORST

3. SHADOW ROADS by Cullen Bunn (w), Brian Hurtt (w), A.C. Zamudio (a), Carlos Zamudio (color), Crank! (l), Charlie Chu (e). (Oni Press).

In this deeply convoluted introduction presumptively set in the late nineteenth century, we meet Henry Grey, a Native American and a Cambridge man who visits the British Museum of Natural History’s new Native American exhibit with remorse and perhaps disgust. He meets an elder at the Museum who gives him a magical ceremonial dagger carved from bone that ultimately lights up. En route home, his train passes through a Crossroads where Abigail Redmayne and Kalfu intercept him and bring him to the New Mexico Territory. What causes this issue to fail – aside from the onslaught of new characters to learn and an unexplained mythology to understand – is that by the issue’s end, we are no closer to knowing why any of these events occur. Why does Abigail bring Henry to New Mexico? What is so special about Henry? What’s the point of the glowing dagger? While a free comic book should purposefully leave questions unresolved to entice readers to find their answers in subsequent issues, this romp is sadly too obscure and complicated to elicit any interest.

2. AMAZING SPIDER-MAN by Nick Spencer (w), Ryan Ottley (o), Cliff Rathburn (i), Laura Martin (color), VC’s Joe Caramagna (l), Nick Lowe (e). (Marvel).

Facing off against America’s greatest threat – the Manhattan real estate market – Peter Parker and his buddy Randy look for an apartment when they are interrupted by a fight with Boomerang, Electro, Rhino, and Big Wheel. After a quick costume change, Spider-Man battles them all until Kingpin intervenes. Despite the Mayor’s apparent gratitude for Spider-Man, Peter drops his professionalism instantly and leaves the scene. Later, Randy and Peter settle on a new three-bedroom apartment with a third roommate: Boomerang himself. From the ludicrous dialogue, the boring trope-laden plot, the cartoonish graphic design, and the overall neutering of Peter Parker’s character, this was a deep, deep disappointment for me that goes beyond this single issue; if this was meant to be an advertisement for the new Amazing Spider-Man series, I’m afraid it did more to turn me off than on. In addition, despite picking up all fifty-two free comics on FCBD, this issue is the only one with running ink and cheap printing errors. Oh, Marvel. Why do you do this to me?

1. TANK GIRL by Alan Martin (w), Brett Parson (a), Warwick Johnson-Cadwell (a), Jonathan Edwards (a), Brett Parson (l), Martin Eden (e). (Titan).

This was perhaps my fault for setting my expectations too high. Having never read a Tank Girl comic and only vaguely understanding her origins from nineties samples and the Lori Petty film, I was expecting a post-apocalyptic badass who breaks the fourth-wall and uses ingenuity, humor, grit, and charm to fight the Man. Instead, I got an insufferable cutsey-wootsey romp about a woman face-punching an adult man after he ruined her birthday big wheel when they were children. In between this awful plot’s progression, vignettes either drawn by a child or rendered to look like it had been drawn by child are too annoying to attempt to read. The only enjoyable bit of this comic was the cover by Jamie Hewlett, who should have done the interiors as well.  

[howyoutalktostrangers]

So,

Charlie Demers started off telling jokes. 

The Quebecois stand-up comedian, who is known for his fierce political activism, could easily make his living performing all over North America, appearing on radio broadcasts and providing voices for animated series. But over the course of the last decade he’s also made a name for himself as a writer, producing both creative non-fiction and fiction. His latest offering is something of a departure, as he kicks off a Vancouver-based mystery series.

Literary Goon reached out to Charlie to chat about what it’s like to conjure Vancouver on the page, how his love of The Sopranos informed the work, and the peculiarities of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).

LG: Your new book Primary Obsessions centers around issues of mental health, which is something I know you’ve been passionate about over the years. Having suffered through a few mental health crises of my own, I’ve been able to see firsthand some of the ways the system fails to adequately treat people or reach them where they’re at. In the write-up for your book it says you’re a long-term cognitive behavioural therapy patient, so I wonder how your real-life experiences informed the narrative. Is there a political element to your prose? Are you trying to make a point?

CD: Dr. Annick Boudreau, the hero of the new series — I’ve very happy to have signed with Douglas & McIntyre for at least two books starring the character — is a fictionalized version of the cognitive behavioural therapist whom I’ve been seeing for more than fifteen years, sometimes regularly, sometimes for the psychological equivalent of touch-up work. 

I mean, she’s very heavily fictionalized; symbolically I separated them from each other, in my own mind, by giving Annick a crewcut on the very first page, whereas in real life my doctor has never cut her hair. That was my signal to myself that, whatever I borrowed from my doctor for my detective, just like Chesterton used his real priest for Father Brown, Annick was a fictional character for whom I had to be free to imagine into backstories and misadventures and mistakes that my own therapist would never have anything to do with. But it is, to a certain extent, a tribute to her and a thank you — I remember listening to a poet talk once about what a unique relationship a long-term patient-therapist relationship is, and it’s so true; it’s this in some ways tremendously intimate and absolutely trusting relationship with someone you know for years, who you feel like you sort of owe your happiness and maybe even your life to, but you don’t know when their birthday is or their partner’s name or whatever. 

When I first started seeing my doctor, it was as an outgrowth of treatment that began as part of free clinical trials at a university, and that treatment, which saved my life (either kept me from taking it, or made it something other than just sheer torture) was free, and it was at a time when I didn’t have a cent to my name, I mean absolutely nothing, and knowing how many versions of me are out there right now, at this crucial point in their psychological development in their early 20s, and they can’t access the kind of treatment that saved my life, it just murders me. Psychiatry is fine for certain things and for certain people, absolutely — and I have had good experiences, and bad ones, with meds. But for OCD, it’s cognitive-behavioural therapy. I mean, in my experience, for sure. 

And that should be part of universal health care. I don’t know how saliently that point comes through, though, in the novel, at least this first instalment. If there’s a politics at play here, I think it’s probably less to do with bread and butter stuff like that, and more to do with the flattening effect of the Internet. In this story, Annick Boudreau is drawn into an investigation to save her patient because she knows things that other people don’t know, even though they think they do.

LG: I’ve never met anyone who is as passionate about The Sopranos as you are. I read your moving tribute to James Gandolfini when he died, and couldn’t agree more that David Chase’s depiction of the realities of talk therapy was ground-breaking in a covert way. People thought they were watching a show about gangsters, but they were really watching a show about mental health. With this book steeped in a crime milieu in the same way, would you say that your goals align with his?

CD: If David Chase is Stevie Wonder, I’m a ringtone of dogs barking “Jingle Bells”. Even thinking of comparing my book to The Sopranos feels like comparing Brueghel’s “Landscape With the Fall of Icarus” to a calendar from the mechanic’s because they both hang on walls. I’m perfectly happy to have written what I think is a fun, smart, and from a certain angle even possibly a little enlightening detective story in the fish-out-of-water tradition. There’s a whiff of gangster underworld in this book, and there’ll be a lot more of it in the second one. 

LG: One of your main characters has been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which is often mis-portrayed in popular media. (I’m thinking about the Academy Award-winning Jack Nicholson flick As Good As It Gets.) As it happens, your hero Dr. Annick Boudreau sets out to help him but quickly realizes that doctor-patient confidentiality creates a roadblock where she can’t speak to the authorities. Most people think of doctor-patient confidentiality as a positive thing, but it sounds like you’re exploring it’s unexpected down-sides. Did you have an experience that clued you into this conundrum?

CD: There were bits of As Good As It Gets that showed some of the real agony of certain strains of OCD, but it definitely slotted into the broader cultural misunderstanding of OCD as meaning “super finicky” or “very particular.” The initialism itself, OCD, has been almost completely stripped of its descriptive power, since in common speech it’s almost always used to mean someone keeps a clean house or likes things a certain way — though usually if you say ‘obsessive-compulsive disorder,’ people know you mean an actual, clinical diagnosis. 

The patient in the novel has the kind of OCD that I have (though I should say, thanks to the real life “Dr. Boudreau,” have mostly put behind me), which is called primary obsessions OCD, and involves repeated, unwanted, intrusive and disturbing thoughts. Heavy on the ‘O,’ a bit lighter on the ‘C,’ although the thoughts can cause so much emotional pain, anxiety, and even trauma that very complex, time-consuming, and exhausting compulsions and rituals develop to “deal with” or neutralize them. It’s not so much that there’s a down-side to doctor-patient confidentiality, which is a sacred and absolutely essential norm — but there are particular legal strategies to bringing in a defendant’s psychologist, and trying to include their insights. And in this case, Dr. Boudreau’s patient’s shame — which I can say, from experience, is debilitating to the point of paralysis until you’re pretty well into your treatment — becomes an obstacle to his own well-being. 

LG: I grew up just outside of Vancouver, but rarely got the chance to see it portrayed in fiction. Though it’s used by countless film crews, it’s always disguised as some other American metropolis. Recently I read The Plague by Kevin Chong, and I was fascinated to see how his portrayal overlapped with my own experiences, and also how it diverged from them. When you set out to conjure Vancouver on the page, what were your priorities for setting the scene? Which aspects of Vancouver were crucial to capture?

CD: One of the things I love about the detective genre is the way it’s so, so often and unapologetically about the worst and best things about the cities in which the stories are set. I’m a huge fan of the late Andrea Camilleri, and his Detective Montalbano books, and as you read about his “Vigàta,” in Siciliy, you really can’t tell if this place is Heaven or Hell. So I was very unsubtle about splashing as much Vancouver on everything as I could. 

One of the nice things about having a psychologist for a protagonist is that she’s rich, so I could realistically give her access to every part of Vancouver, without any particular anxiety about it. But unlike Dave Wakeland, my pal Sam Wiebe’s private eye, she didn’t grow up here — Annick is an Acadian from Halifax, so Vancouver’s not in her bones like it’s in mine, or Dave’s, or Sam’s. Sam’s incredible books are already doing the work of capturing the city’s loss of soul, and it felt stupid for me to try to ape that, and so I kind of mostly went with a lights-and-make-up Vancouver. Any East Sider will recognize many barely-disguised eateries and for sure there’s some inevitable urban grit, but I also went with the Pan Pacific lounge and Coal Harbour condos because hey, fuck it, it’s fiction. 

The Literary Goon

[blockheadbrands]

The Rebirth Of Subcool: The Inside Story Of A Legendary Bud Breeder

Danny Danko of High Times Reports:

The famed cannabis breeder Subcool shares his story of surviving and thriving.

The legendary cannabis breeder known as Subcool survived a nearly fatal diagnosis, the fiery destruction of his home and possessions, and a messy divorce from his wife and business partner to rise from the ashes with a new venture called the Dank.

His Story

Subcool’s passion for cannabis started early in life. He began growing in the 1970s and eventually found himself in trouble with law enforcement and in jail. His defiant return to cultivation resulted in a subsequent bust and he wound up serving time in prison, a stint that ignited a passion to change cannabis laws and help free the healing flower for good.

Subcool moved west and his prowess in breeding and growing eventually led him to found Team Green Avenger Seeds. He first came to my attention in the forums of overgrow.com, where he shared information and photos of his lovely cannabis specimens. In 2006, I chose his Jack the Ripper as one of our High Times Top 10 Strains of that year, and he was eventually inducted into the High Times Seed Bank Hall of Fame in 2009. His Vortex strain, entered under a different name, won the first Cannabis Cup in the United States in 2010 in San Francisco.

Along the way, Subcool also became a regular contributor to High Times magazine, the author of both Dank: The Quest for the Very Best Marijuana and Dank 2.0, and, more recently, a winner of the High Times Dr. Lester Grinspoon Lifetime Achievement Award. His popular Weed Nerd show on YouTube chronicles his cannabis growing and breeding, showing a slice of his life to a legion of Weed Nerds who follow his exploits and test seeds for new strain releases.

The Fire

The Deadlights strain tests high in CBD/ Team Terpene

In 2013, Subcool was diagnosed with alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency, a genetic form of emphysema and a progressive lung disease. He moved from Oregon to California for better weather—and “because I had always dreamed of living in Sonoma County where any adult could cultivate 30 plants per household, and that’s exactly what we did,” he tells me. “I’m technically disabled and my lungs only have 70 percent capacity. Growing is hard work, so I have to depend on others to lift and carry things. When I’m really sick, I am hooked to an oxygen concentrator and can barely walk.”

Despite his health setbacks, Subcool and his then wife and partner, MzJill, continued to build a company staffed with fellow growers/breeders now known worldwide as TGA Genetics (The Green Avengers). But Subcool’s illness and treatments were wearing on him. He says he “lost his kind nature.” Then came the day that would change his life forever.

October 8, 2017. MzJill and Subcool were already planning to separate when fast-moving flames burned their home in Santa Rosa to the ground. The wildfire eventually destroyed 8,500 homes and killed over 60 people. Sub and Jill were lucky to escape with their lives, but they lost everything, including almost four million seeds and all of the male and female breeding plants they had saved over many years. Devastated, the pair went their separate ways, and Subcool tried to pick up the pieces and move on.

The Dank is grown commercially worldwide/ Derp Farms in AZ

The Dank

Without a home, Subcool began to build his new life and restore his cannabis-genetics library. Two years later, he has an arsenal of 44 Dank strains stocked up and distributed worldwide. But it wasn’t easy. Without any tools to run his business, he and his partner, William Rouland, sourced back lost parent stock from close friends who held cuttings of the plants. He even had to purchase some of his own seeds.

Slowly, they rebuilt his core strains using original mother and father plants. Strains like Jack the Ripper, Vortex and Querkle were reproduced, and Sub also started creating new strains and placing them into his large testing program.

Sub also had some issues with hemp russet mites that almost shut him down again. “I took in lots of new cuttings, and one of these came with a present—HRM, or hemp russet mites—and they almost caused me to move and stop growing altogether,” Sub tells me. “Instead of giving up, I tried literally everything, including heating plants to 122 degrees, raising CO2 levels in the room to 10,000 ppm, WPF97, Venerate, Flying Skull, Dr. Zymes [insecticides] and wettable sulfur. In the end, it took a combination of all of these and killing 40 full-size plants in flowering. Most importantly, I learned the use of predator bugs and organic IPM [integrated pest management] methods, and now my garden is healthy, happy and producing amazing-quality cannabis.”

One interesting story Subcool relates to me deals with reacquiring Strawberry Cough for his Strawberry Daiquiri strain (Strawberry Cough x Space Queen). He took a trip to Hollywood and struck a deal with Kyle Kushman to grow his genetics out and work with his famous Strawberry Cough alongside a new cut called Stardawg. Their collaboration has been dubbed “the Dank Brothers.”

“To bring the story up to date, we now have many collaborative strains in the ‘tester’s network,’” Subcool says, “and have just released a new strain called Strelka, which is a delicious cross of my cherry-infused, resin-coated Space Queen dad with Kyle’s fruity/diesel Stardawg female, fully endorsed by two old-school growers and friends. The results have been amazing, and we look forward to this cross becoming highly sought after in the new cannabis world.”

On February 20, 2019, Subcool and MzJill met in mediation to officially separate. Subcool surrendered TGA Genetics IP to her and officially became the Dank, the same name of his two books. He also gave up the rights to the following strains: Jillybean, Agent Orange, Brian Berry Cough, Orange Velvet, Ace of Spades, Plushberry, Black Dahlia and Time-wreck, and he and MzJill agreed to the joint use of Space Queen.

Sub tells me he regrets the role he played in his and MzJill’s messy and public breakup. “I promoted TGA for 18 years,” he says. “I did a good job, but I feel that the magic fell apart the night of the fire. I do not know the fate of TGA, but my work, my strains and my passion continue on in the 44 strains that make up the menu of the Dank.”

Subcool tried growing Mendo Dope style plants in a pool/ Subcool

The Pool Grow

Subcool settled in Arizona and rented a home with an indoor pool, drained it and started growing cannabis inside it under Arizona’s medical program. Now, with his new home converted to a state-approved 60-plant grow op, his mission to continue working with his beloved cannabis plant continues in a very unique environment.

Sub explains to me: “The wet air made it impossible to breathe, so one day I drained the pool. Someone online joked about the old Cheech and Chong skit [in which the duo have a grow op in an empty pool], and I took the challenge.” Solis Tek gave him a good deal on the lights, and he put 8,000 watts of double-ended high-pressure-sodium fixtures above the 20-by-30-foot pool. Smart Pot donated custom 100-gallon air pots, and Dragonfly Earth Medicine contributed organic teas to feed the plants. To complete the giving chain, the cannabis he grows in the pool is donated to patients entirely for free!

Black Dahlia grown “no-till” style/ Courtesy Subcool

The Bowling Alley Grow

Sub also sent me photos of a brand-new facility he and his team are building out in what used to be a bowling alley. He tells me: “With the support and help of [grow visionary] Eli Harding and William Rouland, the bowling alley in Globe is almost complete, and in just a few weeks we start moving in plants. We will grow in my Super Soil using my methods and grow as close to organically as possible. Everything will be tested, even though it isn’t required in Arizona. The Dank will set new standards for packaging, testing and distribution. The state-of-the-art kitchen has glass walls, so all aspects can be filmed and supervised for quality control.”

Subcool tells me he’s enthusiastic about the future: “I get to start hundreds of seeds and do pheno hunts of my favorite strains. Once we find the best, we’ll use Phylos Bioscience to map and protect our versions of each strain. Each strain will have quality standards for terpene and cannabinoid production. I’m excited, but I also understand the long road we have in front of us. Growing cannabis has so many variables, and so many things can go wrong. We stand at the brink of success or failure, and all of us won’t look back until we handle all adversity and make something truly Dank!”

You can find verified Subcool seeds online at the Dank (subcool.com) and at major seed distributors like Attitude Seed bank, Seedsman and JBC Seeds. Look for the Dank’s consumable cannabis products in Arizona dispensaries.

TO READ MORE OF THIS ARTICLE ON HIGH TIMES, CLICK HERE.

https://hightimes.com/grow/rebirth-subcool-inside-story-legendary-bud-breeder/