#which tbh probably just makes me even MORE of a kaz kin but STILL

[olskuvallanpoe]

I’ve noticed this just in my own life so idk if it’s universal, but it seems like people only accept touch aversion as valid if there’s some sort of “reason” behind it. And people especially only really validate FICTIONAL touch aversion as opposed to the touch aversion of real people.

But real people who just ARE touch averse and maybe always have been, seemingly for no “reason,” aren’t treated as valid. Like, personally, I have always been disgusted by touch, and it gives me panic attacks sometimes. Even just the possibility of touch can give me a panic attack, or a crowd of people around me. But it’s not valid because I don’t have a “reason.”

My touch aversion is a huge reason why I relate so much to the character of Kaz Brekker, and Six of Crows felt special to me because my touch aversion looks almost EXACTLY like his. But I realized on a reread that HIS touch aversion will always be viewed as more valid than mine because there is a concrete childhood trauma at the center of it, whereas I couldn’t stand to be touched from the moment I was born. There is no universally-understood-as-bad traumatic event that I can use to explain my touch aversion.

Idrk where I’m going with this. It just makes me kinda sad. People should be more understanding of touch aversion, no matter how or why it has manifested.