#which tbf is probably not an American Only thing. Also the last book I read only really felt like that in the introduction

[breitzbachbea]

The more I learn, the worse Fernando gets.

[laceknight]

20 followers I’d like to know

Tagged by:  @oztaku, thank you!!

1) Name/nickname: Autumn, I don’t think I have any nicknames lol

2) Gender: Female

3) Star sign: Libra

4) Height: 5′7′’

5) Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

6) Favourite animal: Cat

7) Hours of sleep: Around 5-8, depends on when I have to wake up in the morning for class

8) Dogs or cats: Cats!, dogs are ok too, but cats are best

9) Number of blankets: 1 comforter and 1 blanket usually, I never sleep with sheets (aside from a top sheet obv)

10) Dream trip: Welp, I’m in Japan right now, so probably Paris

11) Dream job: Translating manga, anime, games, etc

12) Time: 3:46 P.M.

13) Birthday: October 13

14) Favorite Bands: Fhana, μ‘s, Perfume, Garnidelia, Nano.Ripe

15) Favorite Solo Artists: Konomi Suzuki, Lisa, Reol, Junna, Itou Kanako, Nana Mizuki, and a bunch more I can’t think of right now (lol it ended up being mostly anisong bands and artists...)

16) Song Stuck In My Head: uhhhh, I don’t have a song stuck in my head now, and I can’t remember the last song that was stuck in my head lmao

17) Last Movie I Watched: We watched the Attack on Titan Live Action movie (which was literally SO awful) in class, so I guess that counts

18) Last Show I Watched: Shoujo Shuumatsu Ryokou, I watched ep 4 last night

19) When Did I Create My Blog: I think I created this blog almost 2 years ago, but I’ve been on this hellsite since 2010

20) What Do I Post/Reblog: anime and shitposts

21) Last Thing I Googled: I googled 高度経済成長期 to figure out what it meant in English (it means a fast period of economic growth btw)

22) Other Blogs: I have a lewd blog, if you wanna see what I jerk it to then check it out I guess lmao @lewd-2d

23) Do I Get Asks: Rarely, but I like getting them

24) Why I Choose My URL: I feel like the reason is stupid, but w/e, I like cute things but also nerdy things, and since I play a considerable amount of jrpgs, I combined something cute (lace) with a jrpg class (knight)

25) Following: 224

26) Followers: secret

27) Lucky Number: 13 (fun fact, I was born on a Friday the 13th)

28) Favorite Instrument: Piano, bc it’s the only instrument I know how to play lol

29) What Am I Wearing: Sweater, jeans, and socks, since I just came back from class

30) Favorite Food: Anything with vinegar, baked spaghetti, banana creme pie, tonkatsu, okonomiyaki, tofu and veggie stir fry

31) Nationality: American, just your typical white person

32) Favorite Song: This is too hard, uh, maybe Bokutachi wa Hitotsu no Hikari? It makes me cry almost everytime I hear it (tbf I cry at everything but still)

33) Last Book Read: New Game volume 1 (manga counts, right?)

34) Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like To Join: Pokemon, Made in Abyss, Aria

Tagging: @officialchiyomi @kosakachihiro @lutacrist @s-tier @pizzaochspooks @kanyecolle @kaynyeeast @blndbot (only if y’all want to, no pressure)

[acindra]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

-cracks knuckles- 6 things? let’s do this.

I know I say this occasionally, but its been a while since the last time so- I print out/keep pretty much everything given to me. If it’s art or pictures, I put it on my walls (as you can see here). If it’s writing, I have it printed out and stored in my bookshelf with my other prized books. I also have a journal specifically of things that have happened in FYRTFF Chat. And then for all the dolls or blankets or figurines or jewelry I’ve gotten they’re scattered around my room. The reason why I have these things basically everywhere in my room is because I have to remind myself that I’m surrounded by love, even when I’m really down and hating myself and I don’t believe it. Also I like to be able to point at anything in my room and say so-and-so made this! Because I love creation.

My favourite soda is cherry coke

One time when I was living with The Boys back in uni I got stomach flu immediately after my friend Richard cleaned the coffee maker with vinegar. This has resulted in me being unable to handle vinegar. TBF I didn’t like it much to begin with, and things like ketchup and fucking sinegang and adobo (which are Filipino foods that my mom makes a lot because my brother loves them) really turned me off on vinegar anyways. And then after the mental illness set in and I was Not Functioning there was the fruit flies thing where you catch them by putting soap in a cup with apple cider vinegar. So for like the three years I was still trying to do uni away from home I had to deal with that smell. Yeah. I don’t like vinegar.

Speaking of Filipino foods, I have recently had a lot of feelings about my heritage. If you’ve seen pics of me, I look pretty fucking white (partially because I literally do not go outside. Outside in Florida is HELL), but I’m only half. My dad’s white and my mom is Filipino and Chinese and grew up in the Philippines. It’s kinda weird but I was raised American for the most part, but my formative years were in Japan. So like I have all of these bits and pieces of different cultures but I don’t fit in with any of them? Which actually is something that really bothers me. And I didn’t realize it bothered me this much until I joined the Be More Chill fandom where a looooot of the people (specifically artists I guess. I mainly follow artists because I am an art slut) are Filipino and I remember there was this post going around where it was like shout out to the Filipino creators in the fandom and I was like cool! I should reblog that! But then there was a lot of Tagalog (which I know only like 3 words of) and it reminded me that I don’t really count? I guess? I don’t know? So I’m thinking about that recently, but it, like most things in my life (like being trans or ace) has to take a fucking backburner to my mental illness because otherwise I cannot function. I’m toying with writing a boyf riends fic about Michael having these feelings to vent because I think that’d be interesting but I dunno if anyone else will.

I’m very bitter about my friends. Well. Specifically my friends from real life. And I hate that I am bitter about it because it’s stupid and petty. Basically when the mental illness hit (and I know I say that a lot, but it literally was like being hit by a truck. My doctor says I had a walking mental breakdown where I was tried to function until I literally could not and it felt very abrupt because I was trying to ignore that it was happening) I decided to withdraw from my social circles. Which I had many of. Like just for clubs at uni I was the secretary for the Gay Straight Alliance, I was an original member of the Harry Potter Conference Committee, I was president of the Juggling Club, I was a member of the Progressive Student Alliance. I Did Things, basically. And so I had a lot of friends. But after the mental illness hit I could barely take care of myself and social situations were so scary that I would cry trying to leave my room to go make food. So I resigned from my clubs and stuff. Fast forward to leaving my uni’s city for home because I couldn’t function, all communication basically stopped from my real life friends. And I mean, I don’t blame them. I really really don’t. Most of them didn’t know how to handle me and the ones that did probably had better things to do. Plus everyone was moving on with their lives now that we were pretty much out of uni. But it still really fucking hurts. I’m sure a part of it is also jealousy that they actually have lives and I do not, but that’s something I’ve been trying to suppress because it’s not like I can do anything about it at my level of functioning. I also try to suppress the bitterness but sometimes it rears its ugly head like recently when I had that suicidal episode and I realized I have literally no one I can turn to irl to escape my family; I felt isolated and abandoned. But! I do have my lovely mad chatters and I love them with all of my heart. So it’s not all bad.

I love Howl’s Moving Castle, both the book and the movie. And I’ve actually read the book aloud for @thisandthensome a year or two back for… one of the gift giving holidays. I don’t remember which one.

This ended up very long, I’m sorry. I tried to give you interesting things but I think I just ended up rambling. Whoops!