#which suuuuuuuuuucks shorts for life !!!!

[milo-is-rambling]

Ughhhhhhh okay okay okay I am going to try to be an adult today and by that I mean I work a full shift tomorrow but I actually don’t feel like rotting away in my room tonight so I’m gonna shower and then do a load of laundry and put away my clean laundry that has been sitting around for the better part of a month and then swap my laundry to the drier and watch tv then if im still up and motivated I’ll put it away if not I’ll put it into the laundry basket all my clean clothes are in now

[bigskydreaming]

So as far as insurance goes for me, I’ve had to maintain super-pricey private insurance for the past three years while navigating the super long and annoying road to surgery to deal with longterm physical injuries stemming from my gaybashing sixteen years ago. 

Since I’ve got some new followers these days who don’t know the whole sitch, long story short, freshman year of college I got gaybashed and raped by a buncha homophobic dudebros ‘teaching me a lesson’ or whatever, there was kicking to the face that apparently caused juuuust enough of stress fracturing to the condyle on the right side of my jaw. Cut to about five years ago, the stress fracturing finally eroded or whatever, like, enough to basically snap off the top part of where my jawbone is supposed to go in the joint socket there, resulting in a 45 degree lopsided face, inability to fully close my mouth and bunch of other shit such as chronic daily pain and migraines, vertigo that means I cant drive a car or stay upright longer than about an hour or so at a time, oh and also the weird position of my jaw meant my attempts to eat gradually destroyed my teeth over the past several years and led to them all having to be extracted and me fitted with dentures which are a SUPER fun thing to have at 35, and its basically all very boring and tedious and blah. 

POINT BEING, these days I’m literally just killing time until they can fit me in for the joint replacement surgery I need, its supposed to happen first week of December unless they can fit me in sooner.....but anyway, like, because our health care system suuuuuuuuuucks, basically everyone from Medicaid to Blue Shield argued round and round about whether it was a dental issue or a medical issue and whether it was elective or life-critical (I say yes, they said no, I said you try and eat life-sustaining food like this, they said, ugh fine, but you still gotta pay 21K out of pocket even with the ridiculous premiums we’ve been charging you to get even this far, I said UGH FINE) but long story short, wait I already did that, whoops, that was a lie, BASICALLY the point is I paid that and am on the books but between that and the dearth of savings that is “this is what happens when you spend basically four years homeless and unemployed and living out of motels” that means I still gotta finish out the rest of the year paying my fun-times-price point of $820 a month for insurance, not to mention rent and food. 

Factor in my inability to do much work that cant be done while lying on my side in bed and saying words into the notes App of my phone and then cutting and pasting them into Functional Format elsewhere, and the fact that my family’s abusive trash I haven’t spoken to in literal years on account of they suuuuuuuuuuuck, meaning my support system is literally just my friends on tumblr, lol, baaaaaaaaasically, the moral of the story is if you ever have a spare five bucks and find my existence entertaining or beneficial to yours in some small way and feel like tossing a coin to your witcher or whomst-the-fuck-ever for purposes of helping to enable my continued existence until I can like.....more capably Exist On Mine Own again, like....that’d be super cool and appreciated and such like and so forth. 

Anyway, that’s my deal, my sitch, the smorgasboard of my ridiculousness, and like. The end and stuff I guess. I feel like I had something else to say, but my ADHD brain is being super-sized by migraine brain at the moment, so it either wasn’t that important or like, it was but also lol blinding stabbing shooting pain at my temple says nah, forget about it. As you were! 

https://paypal.me/bigskydreaming?locale.x=en_US

https://ko-fi.com/kalenp