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just4jinx · 1 year ago

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ryujin itzy headcanons (nsfw/nsft) (wlw)

warnings: dom ryu, sub reader, mommy kink, fingering, riding, public sex, orgasm denial, slight humiliation, slight overstimulation, cursing, praise.

feel free to send me asks with thoughts and suggestions!

• she’s huge on ‘any time, any place’. you can always tell when she wants you because she always has a certain dark look in her eyes and its enough to make you physically weak at the knees. sofa, bed, bathroom, kitchen, she literally makes it her goal to switch it up every time to keep it interesting.

• she’s also into public sex. it started off pretty tame like fucking you in shop fitting rooms or in public bathrooms, covering your mouth to keep you quiet so you guys wouldnt get caught. but it quickly escalated, for example getting you to ride her thigh in a corner booth in a club, leaving wet sloppy kisses all over your neck making you whine as you grind against her. thank god the music drowns you out.

• she loves to talk you through it, praising you during your climax. “that’s it baby, let it out. you’re doing so well for me.” GODDDDD

• she also calls herself mommy in third person and lets out a breathy moan every time you call her that title yourself. “mommy’s got you baby.. did i tell you to stop?” it makes you die every time without fail omfg.

• she works you up in the most torturous ways imaginable, putting her hands all over your body as slow and as light as possible, smirking at you because she loves to watch you become desperate. she kisses and softly sucks at the skin on your neck as she gropes your breasts, her thumbs soon running across your nipples from over your clothes, just enough for you to feel it and writhe under her because “it isnt enough, mommy.”

• she ALWAYS asks you if you feel good, sometimes moving her hands away from your core with a smug look on her face straight after, simply to be a little mean. “mommy’s getting tired baby, can you fuck yourself on my fingers?” of course she isn’t tired, she’s only going to suddenly pump into you when you least expect it.. she just wants to watch you put on a show for her first like the obedient girl you are.

• she loves missionary over any other position because she adores watching you fall apart below her, gripping onto the sheets underneath or trying to cover your face with your arms or hands. she finds it adorable when you’re embarrassed and vulnerable.

• “what do you want, baby? where do you want to be touched? use your words, my pretty girl.” UGHHH

• she’s extremely cocky at times. if your phone rings she’ll continue pleasuring you and order you to take the call, but doesnt get mad if you end it suddenly due to it being too much for you. it only turns her on more that shes the one making you feel this good. she knows you wont even have the energy to call them back once she’s done with you anyways. LORDDD

• her speed increases every time you come, often pumping into you with two fingers as she sucks on your clit. she wont stop even after you finish just to watch you whine and shake because you’re overstimulated, and truthfully, it hurts. she’s not mean enough to continue though, its just for a few seconds.

• if you come on her fingers she’ll take them out and get you to taste yourself. “how does my baby girl taste? mm good, right?” feeling you suck on her fingers only makes her groan. she could easily climax just from watching you. most of the time she’ll kiss you straight after just to taste you once more on your own lips.

• she doesn’t want it all the time as shes more of a giver, but on occasion she’ll ask you to touch her too. “just like that. fuck, baby..” she talks you through it, encouraging you the entire time and guiding your hands where she secretly desperately needs them to get off. her moans are breathy and low, often throwing her head back and bucking up her hips, especially if you’re eating her out which is her favourite thing ever omfg.

• she constantly curses under her breath as if she cant handle the way you make her feel, as if every time is her first. she grips onto your hair and tugs it slightly without realising but you don’t mind. you wouldn’t dare keep her waiting so you make her come as fast and as intensely as you can, she loves that shit.

• she LOVES eye contact, especially when she forces you to maintain it. she will grip your hair or your chin to make sure your eyes cant leave hers. “good girl, look at me. eyes on mommy.”

lorddd i cant cope

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dr4cking · 3 years ago

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BIRTHDAY SMUT

Birthday Boy.

masterlist taglist

draco malfoy x reader | smut | fluff |

a/n : we love spoiling our ferret boy and thank you for requesting! <3

y/n look up at the clock hanging on her bedroom wall. its 12am sharp, confirming the next date has arrived, which means that it's June 5 now.

she was feeling excited and nervous as she finishes wrapping up the present that she will give to one of her best friends, draco malfoy.

they had been best friends for long years, it started in 2nd year and became inseparable since then and now they both are already graduated.

as they grew up they often flirted with each other, always got jealous when the other see another person.

they both knew that they always wanted to be 'more'. the sexual tension between the two is becoming too hard to ignore, but they were too scared to ruin their friendship.

she stood in front of her mirror, taking the last look at herself. she decided to dress up, it was a special day after all.

she wore a dark green satin dress because draco's favorite color is green and paired it up with silver heels. she had decided to put black lingerie underneath her dress incase 'it' happens.

she had asked her parents to let her stay in malfoy manor today so she can celebrate draco's birthday. and because their parents know each other too, they let her stay there.

she swishes her wand and in a second she was apparated to malfoy manor hall, it was really dark but she still managed to found his bedroom, she knocks softly on his door not wanting to wake his parents.

the door opened, revealing the blonde-haired guy who stood straightly with a genuine smile on his face.

draco is wearing his usual black suit which always making him look hotter than he already is.

she feels her heart will going to jump out of its place at any second when she cant take her eyes off of him.

"you came," he said as he greeted and taking her hand in his guiding her in. they both sit at the edge of his bed.

"of course, i wouldnt miss my best friend's birthday, making sure i was the first celebrating your birthday." she laughed softly making draco chuckle.

"you look so beautiful in that dress, love. green really suits you.”

draco once again take her hand in his and brought it to his lips and kiss it, making her cheeks heated at his action and the nickname he just called her.

"here, happy birthday draco." she placed the gift in his hand.

his eyes lit up and he immediately opens it, making y/n getting more nervous waiting for his reaction.

"oh merlin! this is so cool y/n!! i love it so much!"

he took out the black ring that had a snake symbol carved in it from its place and put it on his ring finger, taking a look and admiring it.

"i’m so glad you like it, draco! i wasnt sure what to get you then i remembered you've been looking at this ring when we passed the store last week"

"thank you so much y/n!! you dont have to do this i appreciate it so much, you're the best thing that ever happened to me, love."

he pulls her by her waist and kisses her forehead, thanking her.

no one has ever treated him like the way she does and he's so grateful to have someone like her in his life.

"aww stop it draco or i will cry in front of you now" she laughs, nudging his elbow making him laughs too but he suddenly stopped and looking at his lap.

"whats wrong, dray? are you okay? did i do something wrong?" she asks worriedly tilting his chin making him looking up at her.

"i'm afraid that i have to say this, y/n..” he takes a big sigh looking into her eyes.

“what is it? tell me i wont judge, draco”

“i- i think i’m in love with you, y/n. no! i know that i am in love with you, i have always been."

he inhales deeply and broke the eye contact, looking anywhere but her eyes, knowing his sudden confession would make him lost her this instant.

"draco, look at me" y/n said as she tilts his chin again making him look at her.

"oh god.. i’m sorry y/n i shouldnt have said that! i was just- its just i- i cant hold it anymore y/n. i need to get this out of my chest and now look, i just ruined us"

"oh draco.. you're not ruining anything, quite the opposite actually, you just made the right move, i'm in love with you too, idiot, always have been."

she chuckles and cupped his face in her hands, pressing both of their foreheads, looking at each other causing a shy smile to appear back on his face.

he tilted his head and wasting no time to smashed his lips on hers, kissing her passionately, showing her how much he loves her which she gladly returned with the same passion.

he put one of his hands on her throat and the other on her waist pulling her closer to him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and tugged softly on his hair making him moan into the kisses.

as the kiss turning into a full makeout, he lays her down to his bed, resting both of his hands on the side of her head still kissing her hungrily.

his suit already thrown out on the floor and her heels too. she snapped back to reality and realizing what is gonna happen then flipping their position over and now she is on top of him straddling him.

"let me do all the work draco, today is all about you, wanna make this special and a night to remember, let me make you feel good, love."

she slowly grinding against him after earning eager nods from him, both of them let out a moan at the feeling.

then she gets down and started to unbuckle his belt, kissing his growing tent and palming him through his trousers causing him to squirmed under her touch.

getting excited she pulls his trousers and boxers down, throwing them somewhere as draco's hard swollen cock sprang free and standing tall in front of her, begging for attention.

she moans at the pretty sight, licking her lips, craving to feel him. she runs her fingers around him and placing soft kisses on his inner thighs before going up to the part he needed the most.

draco let out a throaty groan when y/n finally take his hard cock in her hands pumping him, his body jolted out as he feels y/n kitten lick his tip, his hand founding its way to her hair.

she looks up to him with innocent eyes who already watching her movements, she smiles and took his balls in her mouth making draco instantly moan her name, his other hand gripped on the sheets.

then she pulls out to rest her jaw and lick a straight line on his cock from the base to the tip then going all in, his cock feels so heavy and full in her mouth, draco is already a moaning mess.

"fuck y/n- feels so g-good.." her name repeatedly left his lips like a prayer as he keeps moaning her.

she bobbed her head up and down at a steady pace, hollowing her cheeks and pulling draco deeper each time she suck him.

"yes y/n, just like that, fuck.. feels so fucking good"

she swirls her tongue around his length, sucking on his tip and taking him back inside her mouth again, her hand pumping the rest of his cock that she couldnt fit in her mouth at the same pace making sure that part got pleasures too.

he bucked his hips accidentally making her gagged and choked out, saliva dripping off her mouth and eyes watering.

"shit i’m sorry y/n!" he said as he watches her struggling.

"do that again, draco."

y/n replied as she took him back inside her mouth, and hand still stroking his cock. draco groaned and buck his hips again, making her gagged and moaning at the same time, the vibration sending him near to his high.

she noticed his cock twitched in her mouth and begin to suck faster and deeper, her hand move to his balls and massaging them helping him reach his high.

he let out a low scream of her name as he shots his warm liquids down to her throat, his legs are shaking. y/n moaned and pulls him out showing draco that she swallowed all of his cum. he smirked and mutters a 'good girl' to her.

"how was it, draco?" she asks him smirking as she slowly sat up and straddling him again.

"fuck.. you have no idea y/n.. that was amazing, the best i ever had" he replied as he still catching his breath.

she smiles at him and takes off her dress slowly showing draco her black lingerie. his pupils widened at the view in front of him.

"god y/n.. you are insanely gorgeous, you look so hot in this lingerie, darling. are you preparing all of this for me? planning all of this cause you know this is going to happen, yeah?"

his hands are now roaming around her body, admiring her in every way he could. she blushes and nodded, taking her lingerie off of her showing draco her full body making him embarrassingly moaned at the view.

she starts grinding her now bare cunt on his still hard cock, earning a soft whimper from the boy under her. his hands instantly gripped her hips helping her grinding faster, her wetness now coating his cock.

"now enjoy the ride, mr. malfoy" she said as she lifts her body and pumps his cock lining his tip against her lubricating it with her juices making both of them groaning at the sensation.

she sunk down on his cock, filling her up in a perfect way. its like their bodies fit together and were made for each other.

they’re moaning each other as draco is fully inside her. she paused and take a few seconds to adjust to his size.

"mhm.. fuck- you're so big draco.. fill me up so good inside"

she starts bouncing up and down, resting her hands on draco's chest as she picks up her pace, throwing her head back and screwing her eyes shut in pleasure.

"you're so tight y/n, wrapping my cock so tight, taking me so well" draco praises between his moans, his hands gripped harder on her hips helping her bouncing faster.

"do you like how i ride you, dray?" she leaned into his ear, blowing her hot breath and biting his earlobe making him shuddered.

"y- yes mommy" draco's breath hitched as y/n suddenly going faster, her walls now hugging his cock very tight.

she let out a groan hearing draco called her 'mommy'.

placing her lips on his jawline, licking it then going down to his neck, sucking hard as she found his sweet spot causing draco to moan his raspy voice into her ear, turning her even more.

y/n starts to give him her lovebites and marking him as hers sending butterflies to his stomach.

she put her hand on his throat, choking him lightly while her other hand toying with his nipple, making draco whine. pulling her closer to him and captured her lips on his to muffle his moans.

she broke the kiss and screaming his name out loud as his cock nearly brushing her cervix and hitting her g-spot.

"shit.. you feel so good inside me dray"

she rolled her hips faster on his cock, her tits bouncing up and down in front of him and he caught her nipple in his mouth and buried his face on her breasts, enjoying the warmness.

"ah- you feel so good too, fuck- never felt this good mommy"

his breath got stuck and he feels his cock twitched inside her indicating both of them that he was close, y/n seems close too as she bites her lips feeling the coil in her stomach tightened.

"cum for mommy, baby boy"

y/n rolls her hips and bouncing faster, tightening her grip on his throat.

and that was it for draco, he moans her name out loud not caring if someone might hear as he spilled his cum inside, filling her to the brim, ropes of his warm cum shooting inside her.

y/n cant help but cum all over his cock at the feeling of his cum shooting inside her nonstop, her walls clenching and squeezing hard on him.

both of them are a mess, legs shaking, vision blurry as they were on cloud nine, she rolled her hips lazily to ride out their orgasms before collapsing on top of draco, both panting heavily.

"fuck you have no idea how long i've been wanting to do that, love" draco said softly as he caressing her cheeks pulling her in for a sweet loving kiss.

"happy birthday, draco." y/n broke the kiss smiling at him tiredly, giving lovely kisses all over his face.

"best birthday ever, thank you my love for everything. i love you so much..” he kissed her lips one more time.

“i love you so much too, dray.”

those were the last words they spoke before both of them drifted off to sleep with a smile on their faces.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

tagging : @dracoscum @hellounicorn @onyourgoddamnleft @whoreforgeorgeandfred @turn-to-page-394-please @underappreciated-spoon-321 @youreso-golden @silverdelirium @littlemissnoname13 @dracmalf0y-dm @f4iryluvy @starstruckgranger @lieswithoutfairytales @dlmmdl @yiamalfoy @black-repunzel99 @rylynn-m @slythermuf @acciodignity @i-love-scott-mccall @maybesandohnos @yvonnearce22 @arzfia @alexthealexthealex @seriouslyinlove

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy smut #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x you #draco oneshot #draco fanfiction #draco imagine #draco smut #draco lucius malfoy #draco x reader #draco x y/n #draco x you #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy angst #harry potter

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theshabozengine · 4 years ago

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Rank the mainline persona and SMT protags by skill in bed.

Alright finally I can make my opinions about SMT sex known

So right at the bottom of the fucking list is Yu from Persona 4

any fucking dipshit that dresses like this is is 100% bound to expect you to do all the work in bed while he lays there like a dead rotting fish. The only fucking fingerbang this man is aware of is the fucking South Park one because he thinks its edgy and cool to watch South Park. He also friendzones you immediately after he pump-and-dumps, riding off into the fucking sunset expecting you to be happy about this outcome.

Never EVER get you a man like this.

Next up is Boy With Earring from Persona 1

This man just does not fuck, plain and simple. He looks at you, see how you’re dressed and scoffs at the idea of getting dirty with you. This man has no human drives whatsoever. This creature is barely sapient, yet still a better more considerate lover than Yu. Has a weird thing for ice play though.

Third worst is Flynn from SMT4

Now its not his fault, unfortunately. See he’s friends with two other dumbasses and theyre constantly interrupting whenever he tries to get things started. Sometimes youll even be gently kissing Flynn, looking deep into his eyes when suddenly his gaze goes behind you, eyes filling with worry and you dont have time to brace yourself as you hear the shout: “ILL END IT THUS” and then your asshole is on fire because his dickhead friend didnt use any lube and its just an overall bad experience cuz then you have to keep trying to start the night with Flynn over but Walter keeps fucking showing up so you have to keep pray for the love of God that Isabeau escorts this dumbass out but then because you thought of God suddenly Jonathan’s there now and he’s just a mood killer and the night’s ruined and its just...

Its really not Flynn’s fault, but he will never be able to satisfy his partner.

Next up is the Tamaki duo from If

They really wanna try their best in bed but just look at these two, they have no idea what theyre doing. They can be redeemed if you feel you can teach them the ropes, but thatll be a whole long drawn out process and itll take them a very long time to understand the concept of an orgasm.

Kei Azume from NINE is next on the chopping block

This dumbass is just high, constantly, and the sheer reek of weed nugs permeating through his sheer existence deletes any and all desire a person could ever feel around them. Look at this Shaggy-looking mother fucker. This dumbass lives in a van and fucks his dog. However, unlike Yu, the dog at least gets an orgasm from Kei.

Unfortunately next on the list is Joker from Persona 5

He really really wants to fuck good, and boy he sure does try, however he always talks about how adults suck which brings up too many questions while his dick is inside you, an adult, and he always tries to finish you off with some sort of unexpected sex move which is always 100% predictable and obvious as he telegraphed it the entire time. Not only that, but this whole time hes been acting weird and you try to enjoy what he really has been doing well his fucking cat just walks up and sits with his asshole directly next to your fucking face, and Joker refuses so shoo the cat and now you just keep glancing to the cat asshole every once and a while by accident whereupon you become very conscious of its existence every so often, and having that sight paired with getting pleasured the whole time leaves weird echo effects in your mind like Pavlov’s Cat Taint ringing through your brain.

Then it turns out his cat was fully aware of how awful it was being the whole time and doesnt apologize and in fact expects you to apologize for waking it up with all your stupid moaning. Bad experience overall, evne if Joker himself is very good at sex.

Next is Tatsuya from Persona 2.

He’s really eager to try and help you out, but ultimately his fingers just cant reach the way you want them to, his tongue’s just a bit too slow, and he cant thrust his hips well enough to hit the spots you want. Always out-shined by the people from beyond this point, but a nice enough guy that you wouldnt mind at least trying with him a few times.

Next is Nanashi from Apocalypse.

This absolute fucking retard has no idea what’s going on at any time during his entire life, however his big brother Dagda who’s always creepily standing behind him even when youre trying to fuck can at least guide him through it. With his guidance he can fuck like a champ, however you have to deal with Dagda watching intently the whole time and just muttering “ You've got a lot of work ahead of you, kid... And you're going to learn firsthand just how pathetic gods, demons, and humans are. Remember one thing, my Godslayer: You have no choice but to obey me.“ every five fucking minutes. Good sex but HORRIBLE experience overall.

Bit controversial this next one, but Demi-Fiend from SMT3 is next on the list.

Now his kicks are fucking great, he always listens to what you have to say, and hes a great partner overall however...hes way too rough in bed. Like there’s being rough and then theres getting donkey punched and a neck sprain and massive internal bruising. Itll be really good for a while, but unless you can stop it real quick hes gonna get really rough. This man has no control once he gets going. He will continue to escalate the situation and unless you can yell your safeword louder than an undead monk screaming he aint gonna hear. Dangerous, but youll definitely cum.

Next is Protag from SMT1

Bold choice, I know, but he will always try and pay attention to your tender areas and watch your face carefully for any reaction however slight, and then log it all in his stupid fuckin Google smart watch. Itll be a good fuck, really, but youll also have to deal with him taking a break every once and a while to fucking log it all. Does have a very big dog too, if you’re into that kinda thing I suppose.

Aleph from SMT2 just squeaks ahead of Protag

This man is just the exact same person with the exact same flaws and everything, except minus a dog. However, he knows hes packing some fucking meat in his factory. Every single other character on this list has absolutely no fucking crotch protection except Aleph. Aleph here knows hes got a fucking pool noodle packed away and hes gotta fuckin protect it. He will create a water park in anyone’s pants once he drops trow and shows off. Astolfo’s Monster cock? Nothing compared to this man.

As with Aleph, Maya also fucks like a champ.

She knows what she wants out of her sexual experience with you and what she wants is 15 simultaneous shared orgasms, and by god shes gonna fucking get it. She will run at you like a fucking Terminator and clothesline you so you hit the bed stunned as she takes absolute control of the situation. You will not be able to move a muscle once shes done, and it will be as though your Mara ran entirely out of MP. Only real flaw is once she’s done, she gives you a temporary tattoo of hearts around your nipples like her dumb fuckin shirt to mark her territory. If youre into it, then she’ll make it permanent.

Next up is SMT5 protag holding the copper trophy. Game isnt ever going to come out but you just know how nasty this slut is.

Look at this idiot, this absolute fucking baboon. This fucking man who fought Sweeney Todd to death and won barehanded gives no fucks. Look at his awful fucking outfit and his garbage fucking haircut, then realize that even with all this he is confident. He’s a chad even with all this stuff that everyone else would tear to shreds. Why? Hes one of the best in bed. He’s fucked everyone who tried to step to him out of house and home. Once this monster’s engines rev up he will force you to see heaven. “Oh, hon, I just want one orgasm tonight” you might try to say before he can make you see white but then he just fuckin looks at you and smirks. That one orgasm you have is so fucking powerful you become dehydrated for a month.

With the silver comes Makoto Yuki from P3

Similar to SMT5 above, this man should be bullied into oblivion but hes not. Why? Sex god. This man is so fucking powerful at sex he literally gets a clay golem and a robot to fawn over him for the rest of their eternal lives. This man fucked so hard his friends all got mindbroken once he moved on and they foguht each other to the death for the right to his dick. This man fucks so well that he defeated fucking death with the power of how much everyone loved his dick. When this man died from fucking too much you know what he did? He went on to fuck concepts and evil gods instead. This man literally ascended to a higher power through the sheer power of dickening. Also when he fucks you his music choice is the best for breeding.

And with the gold: Doomguy from Strange Journey

This absolute perfect specimen has literally everything a person could ever ask for: His cock fits snug, virile, fit, handsome, and best of all hes independent. He doesnt need to rely on an tricks or anything to get your orgasms flowing, hes just the pinnacle of sex. This man marches into your father’s house, and just through sheer presence without a single word said makes your father beg him to take your hand in marriage. Marriage whereupon he will be the perfect husband and always treat you with respect, and even if you mess up he will forgive you and help you through any difficult periods in your life.

Literally everything and anything you could want in a man: If you like it rough, he can do it. You want it gentle he can play ball. Whatever hole you want him to stick it into hes got the perfect way to arch his hips to fit what you wanna feel at any point in time. Ooh baby, absolutely get you a perfect man like him. The planet Earth itself tried to woo him, but he said no since he knew the person reading this post was out there, and he wanted to make sure he was there to love you.

#persona #shin megami tensei #smt #Anonymous

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angrylizardjacket · 6 years ago

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ease my mind. {Mary Austin} /SMUT\

@bucky-barnes-is-a-gift asked: lol yesssss you write for Mary (I’m so desperate wtf) can you just do one where they’re both watching the boys record and album (they’re sat in those wheelie chairs or something) and when the guys are distracted, Mary slips under the desk and eats the reader out until she cums rlly loudly and the boys are all like ‘omfg dude what’ thank you 🙏

A/N: 1534 words. This one’s for me, I deserve it. Smut.

“Sweetheart, you seem tense.” Mary’s voice is perfectly innocent when she sits herself in the chair beside yours at the recording desk. She’s not wrong persay; you’re the sound engineer Queen had hired to help them record their latest album, which was made only slightly easier since you’d worked with them before on their past two albums, and had started dating Mary after the last album.

“If these guys could actually agree on a harmony maybe we could get some work done tonight.” It’s almost three in the morning and you’re all but tearing your hair out at the sound of four slightly different notes being sung together over and over again.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” There’s a playful smirk on her lips when you turn to face her, and she reaches out, gently ghosting her fingertips along the bare skin of your arm.

“Babe...” Your voice drops low, just edging on a warning as your eyes flick to the band on the other side of the glass where they were in a very heated argument, with Roger and Brian both playing the same guitar pointedly at Freddie.

“I don’t think they’ll notice, do you?” She said quietly, raising an eyebrow at you. After a beat, you both hear Freddie yell ‘are you kidding me’, and you watch him storm over to the keyboard, and then Mary’s hand is on your thigh. “They seem rather occupied.” And she leans in, pressing her lips to yours as her fingers move higher, and you thank yourself on your foresight to wear a skirt.

“Excuse me, ladies, we’re trying to record an album here!” Freddie’s voice comes booming over the speakers and you break apart, Mary turning red, though her hand’s still on your thigh beneath the sound desk, and you look up to see the rest of the band looking at you two, Freddie leaning in close to the mic by the piano, Roger smirking, and John and Brian just looking both amused and exasperated.

“Well have you decided on a harmony?” You pressed the button for the microphone, trying not to let your embarrassment show on your face.

“You’re such a spoil sport, Freds.” You hear Roger mutter, and saw Mary roll her eyes at out of the corner of your eye. Freddie, however, looked a little put out as he looked down at the piano.

“It’s the principle of the thing.” He said, and you cast a glance at Mary before looking back at the boys, pressing down the microphone again.

“For the record, while I like what you were all doing, do you really think it fits with the tone of the song? Maybe it needs to move up or down an octave; play around with it a bit more.” You suggested, shooting for innocent, leaning back in your chair with a satisfied little smile as you watch the chaos unravel.

“Ha! See, she likes what we were doing!” Roger cries, gesturing between himself and Brian, triumphant as he turns to the singer, but Freddie is already up in arms, both his hands on the piano, lifting a foot to play as well, clomping the keys pointedly, while John just frowned down at his bass, strumming out a few experimental notes, and Brian looks like he’s quickly forming a headache.

“That should keep them busy for at least fifteen minutes.” You mused, amused gaze turning to Mary, who was biting her lip, expression fond.

“I suppose I’ll have to be less noticeable then.” She said, eyes twinkling with humour as she gave you a gentle squeeze. Casting a quick gaze to the arguing band, she slides gracefully from her seat beside you, to beneath the sound desk.

“We don’t have long, they might actually start working together.” You warned, and from between your legs, Mary grinned at you, pressing a gentle kiss to your inner thigh.

“Have I ever needed long?” And the way her voice dip, sultry and playful, has you already squirming before she even touches you. You’re heart’s already racing as you move to sit at the edge of your seat, legs spreading easily for your girlfriend, and you try to school your expression into something neutral to not give yourself away.

She presses kisses along the inside of your thighs, gently biting every so often before pressing a kiss to your pussy through your already damp panties. You stiffen a little at that, and she giggles.

“Careful, darling, wouldn’t want to distract them from their album.” She murmurs, her hands sliding up along your thighs, beneath your skirt, pulling your underwear down as she speaks.

“It’s the principle of the thing.” You mutter your best Freddie impression from behind your steepled fingers, where you’d pressed them to your mouth in an attempt to quieten yourself. Mary laughs again, which makes you grin, but then she’s licking long, rough strokes along your slit, and your own laugh morphs into a quiet moan.

She’s so delicate when her thumb finds your clit, teasingly light touches as her tongue dips inside of you. You’re squirming against her, hips rolling as you try to find any sort of friction, but then she’s pressing hard against your clit at she rubs it, and your eyes widen. You cover your choked moan with a cough, and she pulls back, still rubbing at your clit.

“Does that feel good, sweetheart?” She asks, and her other hand moves from your thigh to slide a finger into you as you give a jerky head-nod, trying to keep your gaze on the recording studio.

She starts slowly, finger curling gently inside of you, thumb against your clit, before she pinches it firmly as her finger hits your g-spot and you let out a squeak; you can feel her grin where she’s pressing a kiss to your thigh. Sliding a second finger into you, she moves them faster, alternating between pumping into you and curling them, as she moves to take your clit in between her teeth, flicking the bundle of nerves with her tongue.

You have to hide your face in your hands because you’re worried that one of the boys will see the way curses are falling from your lips, and your pupils are blown wide. You’re whimpering, hips rolling in rhythm with her fingers, and it’s only the sound of the arguing band members that lets you know they haven’t caught on yet.

She’s got a hand on the small of your back, urging you closer to her, and you move obligingly, legs spreading further as sucks hard on your clit, her fingers moving fast and hard in you, hitting you perfectly. She can tell you’re getting close, and she replaces her fingers with her tongue, lapping at you, desperate to get you off as her fingers, slick with your own juices, rub at your clit.

Moaning her name, your head lands on the sound desk with a thud as one of your hands fists in her hair, as you grind against her mouth, whimpering and needy. Mary moans against your pussy as you come, and you can barely muffle your cry with one hand, eyes squeezed closed as the endorphins flood through you. Her lips are still on you, helping you ride it out, as your eyes flutter open and you come back to reality, seeing the band members all crowded around the piano, nodding seriously, thankfully not looking at you.

“Alright, I think we’re ready to give it a shot.” Freddie’s voice comes over the speakers and it takes you a few moment to find your voice, slumped back in your chair with your heart still racing.

“I- sure.” You say, a little breathless, and that’s when they all turn to you.

“You okay?” Freddie asks, frowning, and you swallow thickly, trying to get into a more reasonable sitting position as Mary leaned back, smug, gliding your panties back up your legs.

“Yeah, just- uh, bored.” You said, swallowing thickly, wondering if they could tell how flustered you were.

“Where’d Mary go?” Brian asks, and you glance below the desk to see Mary grinning with amusement at you as she licked her fingers clean.

“She’s somewhere, I don’t know.” You tell them over the microphone, and John, Freddie, and Brian all look a little concerned, but you make direct eye contact with Roger and he gives you the biggest shit eating grin.

As soon as they start the next take, you let out a long sigh of relief, and you lean your forehead against the edge of the table, giving Mary a smile where she was looking at you with raised eyebrows.

“Feel better?” She asked, and you laughed a little, voice low and satisfied.

“So much better; I love you.” And when you say it, she pets your knee fondly, before leaning up and giving you a quick kiss. She takes a moment to try and flatten her hair a little, and wipe the edge of her mouth, and she resurfaces, plopping easily back into the seat beside you, looking nothing so much like the cat who got the cream. She reaches out, taking your hand.

“I love you too.”

#mary austin #mary austin x reader #mary austin imagine #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #queen imagines #queen #queen imagine #the angry lizard writes

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yoonxiskitten · 7 years ago

Text

Teach Me

Jungkook x You

Genre: Smut

Warnings: Noona Kink, Dub/Sub, Slight Spanking & Dirty talk, Orall

I was in my apartment with the BTS. They had all missed me and we decided to have a movie night at my place. We, for some odd reason were watching 50 shades darker. Well me and Jungkook were. The others fell asleep. As the first 18+ scene came on I peeked over at Jungkook to see him hiding behind his hands, peeking between his fingers every now and then.

"Jungkook-sshi. You dont have to cover your face. You are of age now. I spoke, removing his hands. He cloaed his eyes tightly.

"Noona, Im not comfortable around girls, what makes you think I can watch when they are doing...that." he spoke. I giggled.

"You're not uncomfortable around me." I spoke in a matter or fact tone. He scoffed.

"You're not a girl, you are-" my eyes widened at his statement.

"Yah! I am a girl. Do you need a reminder? Are you hanging out with me too much?" I spoke, a wide grin on my face. He laughed and nodded.

"No, I mean- actually yes. Yes we do." He spoke. I giggled and focused on the movie.

"You'll regret that Kookie." I spoke. He smiled.

"Okay." He spoke.

_The Next Morning_

I woke up on the floor with Jungkook's sweater on. How? Beats me. I looked around to see nothing but a note from Jin.

'Went to take the kiddos to the boardwalk. You and JK looked tired so we didnt bother. Join us whenever.'

I sighed and made my way to the bathroom in need of a hot shower to wake me up. I stripped and jumped in the shower freezing myself first before gettimg the right temperature. After I was washed up, I grabbed a towel, wrapped it around my body and walked into my room. I grabbes a matching panty and bra set and put it on. I grabbed some lotion and lotioned my body before looking for an outfit. I grabbed a cute floral shirt and put it on my dresser. Just then the door opened and in walked Jungkook with Jin's note.

"Hey Noona, are we gonna-" we froze as we made eye contact with one another. I opened my mouth and closed it stupidly like a fish would. His eyes trailed down my body slowly, taking in every exposed inch. Once he made his way back to my eyes, his head dropped in shame. I smiled at him. Not ashamed or embarrassed that he had seen me half naked. Its no different than a bikini right?

"Oh-Im sorry. I- uhm. Sorry." He stuttered. I giggled and walked closer to him.

"Atleast you are reminded that I am in fact, a girl." i joked. He smiled a little.

"Uhm Noona, can you maybe put on some clothes?" he asked. I scoffed playfully and walked to find my jeans.

"Aw. My shy Jungkookie, scared of me being half naked around him." His head lifted up as I reached for my jeans that somehow got on the shelf that I cant reach.

"Ani. Im not scared of you being half naked in front of me." he said. I jumped for my jeans still not being able to reach them. I then felt his presence behind me and he grabbed my jeans handing them to me. I smiled at him.

"Im scared of what I might do to you with you being half naked." I looked at his face as it held all seriousness. I walked past him to my shirt.

"You wouldnt know what to do with me." I exclaimed. He nodded.

"You're right."

"I know."

"Thats why you should teach me." I froze and turned around, scanning his face for any type of joking around.

"What?" I asked, making sure I heard him correctly.

"You could teach me. Teach me how to have sex. What to do and how to do it." He spoke. I laughed.

"Jungkook are you insane? You do hear yourself right?" I asked. He nodded.

"I hear myself. Noona, you don't understand how hard it is for me to see the hyungs bring girls or stay out with them. I wish I could." He spoke. I shrugged.

"So why dont you? I asked.

"I dont know how and I dont want to embarrass myself. But if you could teach me it wouldnt be so uncomfortable. I know you." He spoke. This was one of the hardest decisions Ive ever had to make. I mean I love him and all the other boys so much and would do just about anything for them.

"Kookie. You know that I love you and would do just about anything for you but dont you think you may be asking me for just a little too much?" I spoke. He nodded, stepped closer and looked down to me, and I looked up to him.

"I know. I just- There are middle schoolers with more experience than me. You don't have go to sleep with me today. We can even ease up to it. I just want you to teach me. Please?" He asked. I looked up at him as he pulled me closer. I was a little jungshook if you know what I mean.

"We'll both enjoy it." He said. I bit my lip in temptation. Oh if he wasnt so cute...

"Okay." I spoke. He let me go and let out a breath it seems he was holding.

"Okay." He spoke. I smiled.

"Do you need to mentally prepare yourself or-?" I asked. He sighed and nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

"Im fine." he spoke. I smiled.

"Kiss me." I spoke. His eyes widened and he nodded. He wrapped his hands around my waist and pressed my body against his. He slowly leaned down to kiss me. Our lips moved slowly against each other. I stuck my tongue out and swiped it against his bottom lip. He slowly opened his mouth as I shoved my tongue inside of his. Our tongues danced together, fighting to pin one another down. He rested his hand on my hips squeezing every once and a while. I rested my hands on his thighs and slowly moved them up. He seemed to sigh in pleasure in my mouth. I smiled and kissed him harder. To be honest, this is the first time being a dom and I was enjoying it. I ran my hands over his crotch area and he whimpered into our ongoing kiss. I pulled away from him and lifted his shirt over his head. He looked at me as I worked on his drawstring.

"I shouldn't be the only one in my underwear Kookie." I spoke, teasingly. He bit his lip and kicked off his sweats. Once I ridded him of his clothing I pushed him back. I climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. I kissed him passionately and he returned the kiss. His hands clenched into fist at his sides, restraining himself from touching me. I slowly begin making my way down his jaw, kissing his neck. Once I found his sweet spot he groaned deeply.

"Noona. Can I touch you? Please let me touch you." He spoke. I smiled against his neck.

"Touch me anywhere you'd like. For now, Im yours." I whispered. Thats all I had to say. His hand immediately fell to my ass as he molded and played with it. I sighed in bliss, my ass being a hot spot for me. He shuddered at me breathing on his neck.

"Aaahh Y/N. I-" I gasped as he flipped us over putting himself on top in between my legs.

"I wanna try something." He spoke. I smiled and raised an eyebrow, which he caught.

"Just guide me." He spoke and kissed me softly before slowly making his way down to my chest. He dipped his tongue between the valley of my breast causing goosebumps to arise on my skin. He reached around and unclipped my bra, taking it off of me. He stared at my breast a small blush tinting his cheeks. He leaned down, attacking my hardened nipples he twisted and played with the other. I moaned and took my bottom lip into my mouth. His hand trailed down my body and played with the hem of my underwear. He looked up at me.Lee

"Can I?" He asked. I nodded. He hesitated as he stuck his hand inside of my underwear. He slowly ran a finger up and down my slit.

"Wow. You're so warm and...wet." My body shuddered as he slowly began to pump his fingers inside of me. He leaned down and began to kiss my neck. His lips ghosted over my sweet spot and I let out a whimper. I could feel him chuckle a little in my neck. Before I could ask him whats so funny, he added another finger and curled them hitting my spot. I gasped loudly.

"Oh God Jungkook! Right there!" I moaned out. He sped up amd continued to finger my G-spot. My mouth dropped open as mixtures of pants and moans escaped my mouth. My eyes screwed as tight as they could be as I felt the sensation slowly building up. Jungkook lowered himself so that he was face to face with my area. I grabbed his hand to stop him but he had already dove in. He slowly flicked his tongue on my clit repeatedly.

"Oh my- shit Jungkook!" I moaned, louder than I should have. I came as my body twitched a little due to the aftermath. Jungkook crawled towards me and kissed me as I tried to catch my breath.

"Did I do good Noona?" He asked. I nodded and kissed him slowly.

"Thay was amazing Kookie." He smiled brightly and kissed me back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to lay on top of me.

"Noona. Im ready." He spoke aginst my lips. He looked nervous and excited all in one. I smiled and flipped us over, pulling my painties down. He pulled his boxers down and his member sprung forward. I stared at it in shock. It was probably one of the biggest dicks i have ever seen in my life. Wow. The maknae was really golden. He must have felt self conscious because he cleared his throat snapping me out of my thoughts.

"I-I wow." I spoke and grabbed his member. He sucked in a breath and closed his eyes as I began to move my hand up and down on him. After a bit of precum was visible, I slowly licked his member from base to tip. Jungkook groaned so deep an sexy that I grew even more wet. I then took as much of him in my mouth as I could. Lets be honest, a dick as big as his was impossible to fit all in. I bobbed my head up and down as Kookie struggled to hold in his whimpers and moans. He was breathing loudly. He sat up on his elbows and watched me. I looked at him through lidded eyes and sucked him a bit harder.

"Fuck." He growled and bucked his hips up. I moaned over his dick as he continued to curse. I stopped and ran my hand over my work.

"How does it feel to be blowed for the first time?" I asked. He sighed and leaned back.

"Please. Im so ready. I need it Noona. Please." He begged. I smiled at him. I love it when he begs. I crawled up his body straddling him but before I could sit on it, he flipped us over... again. He looked in my eyes and silently asked if this was okay. I nodded. He looked up at me and breathed in before slowly pushing inside of me. I held his biceps and gasped as he let out an extremely deep groan. The feeling of his member stretching my walls taking me by surprise. Once he was fully inside of me I wrapped my arms around him, restricting him from moving any farther.

"Always make sure your partner is okay. You don't want to cause them any pain." I spoke. He buried his face into my neck and let out a shaky sigh.

"Are- are you in pain?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No. I'm o- aaahhhh!" Jungkook began to pound into me. Almost relentlessly. I moaned out in pleasure as he groaned with every thrust. He lifted his body off of mine and put all his weight in his hands. I looked down between us, seeing us being connected as one and moaned.

"Jungkook-ah~." I moaned. He leaned down to kiss me a he continued to thrust.

"You feel so good baby. So tight." He spoke. Those words alone almost bringing me to my realease. I pushed him back and he backed away quickly.

"Lie down. Im gonna ride." I spoke. He quickly lied down. I straddled him and lowered myself down on his member. He sighed loudly as I moaned out in pleasure. I began to slowly move up and down on him. His hands held on tightly to my hips. I moved at an enjoyable pace for us both.

"Faster." He spoke. I obliged and began to move faster. His hands went down to my ass and smacked it lightly causing shivers to run down my back.

"Smack my ass again." I spoke. He groaned and smacked it again. I whimpered and the feeling of my high approaching made an appearance again.

"Oh God kookie! You're so big!" I moaned. His eyes flashed with last before he sat up, meeting my eyes with his. He began to buck his hips up to mine.

"Oh fuck! Don't stop!" I moaned. He moaned and attached his mouth onto one of my nipples.

"You take me so well baby girl. You take it all." He moaned. Shocked to hear those words out of his mouth once again my stomach approached my high and it was not going away.

"Shit Kookie! Just like that! I'm gonna cum! Aaaahh!" I moaned loudly. He bucked his hips quicker.

"Me too. Fuck. Noona." He groaned loudly. I kissed him as I clenched around him, whimpering into his mouth as I came, my body convulsing. He thrust started to get sloppier, his breathing uneven. He held me tighter as his orgasm took over. He called out my name as he thrusted a few more times, riding out his orgasm. Luckily I'm on the pill.

"That was amazing." He spoke, out of breath. I smiled and pecked his lips once before laying down, kookie following my actions.

"How do you feel Kookie?" I asked. He chuckled.

"Like a man. Thank you." He said. I nodded.

"Anything for you." He seemed to quirk up at the thought.

"Anything?" He asked. I nodded. He smirked and climbed on top of my body.

"Round 2?"

#bts #bts smut #bts junkook #jeon junkook #sexy junkook #bangtan boys #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #behind the scenes #sexy

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fuckdavestriderheistheworst-blog · 7 years ago

Note

Avi's making me answer all of them so now you have to, too. All the ones no one else asks you.

why do i even reblog these things when i know one of you are gonna do this

am i a masochist

I’ll try to give solid answers.

1) Sexuality?

i dont know not straight but not gay and also probably not bi because i dont just look at people of both sexes and think “damn id tap that”

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

ben stiller probably

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

i took vantas’ book because it became the one closest to me

“’That is such a bizarre request I have to agree to do it.’“

4) What do you think about most?

what im doing with my life and why i picked the most unsteady and risky career choice ever and if ill end up fucked because of it

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“We’re meeting at Think Coffee at four. Come with us.”

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

usually with at least boxers on but sometimes naked

7) What’s your strangest talent?

i used to get into rap battles with kids in my high school class i like to think im talented enough to declare it a talent

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

girls dont like boys girls like cars and money. boys will laugh at girls when theyre not funny

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

ive had a diss rap written about me on a few occasions if that counts

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

probably a year ago i dont keep track of my intense solo shower performances

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

i dont know if either of these count since they mostly just make me uncomfortable but silence bugs me and so does the solo sound of clockwork

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

no but once i got a stick stuck up it because of someone else

13) What’s your religion?

athiest i guess? like i dont really believe in god or in any higher power otherwise wed have been snuffed out for being pieces of shit long ago

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

taking pictures or carryin a drink or running when its too damn early and too damn cold

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind it for sure

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

that changes by the day. today a band i listened to a lot was son lux

17) What was the last lie you told?

that it was fine

18) Do you believe in karma?

only when im mad

19) What does your URL mean?

i mean

read it

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

i asked vantas and he said the answer to both is “my eagerness to please” which i dont know if i agree with but i dont have a better answer

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

who ISNT my celebrity crush is a better question

my favorites and the ones i would shit myself to meet in person are tom franco, ben stiller, and robert downey jr

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no and i dont really want to

23) How do you vent your anger?

i use it to be productive most of the time but if its anger on behalf of someone i smother the person i care about and try to forget my own feelings about it

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

cameras, picture frames, and vinyl records

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

video chatting for sure

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

im way happier with who i am than i was two years ago

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

a clock ticking or someone tappin in time to the passage OF time

vantas’ laugh

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?

what if id never sent that anonymous message what if id just kept being who i was before

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

ghosts? psh fuck no. aliens? dude its a real thing aliens are real we have documented proof of it

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

wall on the right, vantas on the left

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

nothing really? i mean i could sniff vantas and then say i smell him but i dont really smell anything

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

im not sure i guess the hospital? nobody likes the hospital not even the staff

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?

west coast

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

god have you seen todays performers theyre all fuckin gorgeous

maybe selena gomez she has a cute face even if im not that into her music

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

spend time with the people i care about and dont waste time on the people i dont

make them know theyre important

36) Define Art.

somebody expressing themselves and NOT bullshitting some deep and fake meaning onto somethin they didnt try with

37) Do you believe in luck?

not really

38) What’s the weather like right now?

its 60 degrees

39) What time is it?

9pm

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes i drive and no ive never CRASHED but i did fuck up my tire rod and alignment once because i swerved to miss a dog if that counts as a crash

41) What was the last book you read?

a college textbook

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

not enough that id go huffin it but i definitely dont dislike it

43) Do you have any nicknames?

not technically i dont think

44) What was the last movie you saw?

black panther

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

a concussion because of the amnesia that followed suit

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?

yeah

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

so theres this thing in northern new york called a garbage plate

48) What’s your sexual orientation?

the same as #1

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

yeah and it sucked

50) Do you believe in magic?

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

not if theyve done me wrong i dont particularly care that much about myself that id hate someone forever over something they did

52) What is your astrological sign?

saggitarius i think? im not sure i never keep up with horoscope stuff

53) Do you save money or spend it?

both

54) What’s the last thing you purchased?

dinner

55) Love or lust?

love

56) In a relationship?

yes and its a damn good one

57) How many relationships have you had?

more than 10 but less than 30

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

no and i tried like a fucking IDIOT

59) Where were you yesterday?

school and also i had a meeting about my next job

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

god no i dont like socks

62) What’s your favorite animal?

chameleon (but birds are really fucking cool)

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

answered

64) Where is your best friend?

right beside me

65) Spit or swallow?(;

swallow

66) What is your heritage?

white and i dont think i can expand upon that without being laughed at for BEING white

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

i dont want to say sleeping but i think i was sleeping

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?

do angels and demons HAVE last names? im not versed enough to make an educated guess

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

what kind of question is this doesnt EVERYBODY??

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

fuck no i wouldnt like me if i met me

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

i dont want to work for lucifer so id save the dog, spend the rest of my day off at the vet makin sure he got treated and then look for the owner

or keep him depending on how big the dog is

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

i wouldnt tell them right away i dont think but i dont think i could keep that from people i loved

id spend the rest of those days doing everything i could to make sure everybody knows they were important to me and then i guess id write a will

i dont know if id be afraid because part of me doesnt want to die and the other part knows its inevitable and that i shouldnt waste time bein afraid of it because like it or not itll happen eventually

73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

god thats a hard choice but can you have a real meaningful love without trust? i guess id have to give up love

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

noma - “brain power”

its just impossible to not enjoy it or feel even a little pumped

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

nope im not cool with this one i cant answer it i am too paranoid

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust, some sacrifice, and lots of late night talks over late bought dinners

77) How can I win your heart?

answered

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

yeah but to a certain point the creativity just becomes finger painting with your own shit while proclaiming you are the MASTER of modern fine arts and wont take any less than three million for your masterpiece

or you know having a tantrum about paint pigment ownership so profound that it marks you in history books as the worlds biggest art cunt

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

to try and make friends with a jaded grouch

80) What size shoes do you wear?

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“buried naked without his rolex so dont even try”

82) What is your favorite word?

answered

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

soul

84) What is a saying you say a lot?

probably “its cool”

85) What’s the last song you listened to?

“alternate world” by son lux

86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

red for sure

87) What is your current desktop picture?

one of those connect four memes

its the pepperoni one but zoomed in on the pepperoni itself

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

no i do NOT want to kill anybody via explosion thats a shitty way to go

hitler just in case

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

“what are you afraid of”

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

ask them politely to leave i guess? what the fuck kind of scenario is this night at the museum

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

1) totally unrealistic i would not eat vegetables without there being some other food group involved and

2) i really dont want superpowers im not the hero type and never will be

maybe some way to freeze time that also includes bringing someone along to the frozen time zone because i never have enough time

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

the time i got to talk to robert zemeckis because i was fanboying so hard i barely registered half the shit he said and half the advice he gave

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i wouldnt erase any bad experience thats just asking for a butterfly effect scenario

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

nobody because 1) i am happy in my current relationship and dont really want to sleep around and 2) do they not get a say in it

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

hawaii because its probably warm and comforting there i can buy vantas a second ticket if the first is free

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

never thank fuck my cars interior costs more than i do

98) Ever been on a plane?

yeah a couple times

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

you cant go back in time and correct any mistakes so do it right the first time or make things right after you fuck up

dont dwell on the stuff that doesnt matter and spend time on the stuff that does

#ask meme #god damn this was long and took forever #fuck you guys and your aggressive support and demand for answers #crimsongenetics

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samanthasroberts · 6 years ago

Text

Are You The One Recap: Gio Olympics 2016—Everyone Is A Fucking Loser

Wooohoo, were back. Last week was a fresh and raging shitstorm and I gotta say, I was really looking forward to this week and holy shit did it not disappoint. Im sure cast members took a long, collective groan when they saw this episode and remembered that bitchy girl on the internet is going to destroy them the next day in the recap.

So lets give the people what they want, shall we?

They all are like, “FUCK WE SUCK AT THIS” after getting 4 beams, 4 weeks in a goddam row. Prosper suggests a good old fashioned orgy, because hes a thinker! They all just need to have sex morethats clearly what theyre missing.

PROSPER: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought,

Gios like hey Prosper, thanks for having my back when I acted like a psycho on TV back there and Prosper is like Id really like to be excluded from this narrative.

Gios like I tried to fight Stephen because of principle and is like if I let one person do it, everyone will. Gio is like an anamorph with some of the shit he says. Everytime he says something that sounds so fucking stupid you want to shove your head into a blender, he morphs further and further into his final form: Donald Trump.

Julias like “I know I should be sad that everyone is fighting over me, but like, Im so happy.” Its not her fault shes so popular!! Meanwhile Stephen is like “LOVE ME PLEASE” and is crying in the confessional. Jesus Christits looking like a tequila kind of night.

Everyone is like they havent even kissed yet!!! which is low-key embarrassing. Its one thing to be pussy whipped when you are, shall we say, getting said pussy.

Julias like KISSING IS HUGEits more important than sex!! Well, one can lead to a child and the other cant, so lets just go with thats wrongthough there are a million Mormon mothers out there who agree with you. Seriously, I had a more intimate relationship in 6th grade.

MORMON MOMS EVERYWHERE: Honey you can only watch MTV if its to watch that nice girl with the overbite who is ABSTAINING. Now come on, get your helmet on and go sell the word of God!

Kaylen and John learn they have a lot in commonmostly just that they cant stand their parents. Thrilling stuff really. I like them both so I wouldnt be mad, just more confused. Yes, very confused.

THE GAME

YES, best part of the season: the dudes exes are here. The girls are so pumped and the guys are trying to find the tallest building to jump off.

The exes come out and they are disappointing to say the least. Def bottom tier sorority status. But hey, yall got a free trip to Maui so like, good job. Congrats on dating losers, I guess it worked out in the end.

Tylers like my ex threw a box of wine at my head, which is a little embarrassing for several reasons. First of all, you just admitted you’re poor. I havent drank boxed wine since I was 19 in a frat house (aka Morgans mothership). And for maximum damage, you should always throw a bottle. And this has been another episode of: teaching someone very obvious things!

The dudes pair with their exes and they get asked questionswhoever answers the most similarly gets a point. Propser doesnt have an ex because his longest relationship was three weeks LOLLLLL. He basically has to sit it out because he ghosts too much. Im weak.

Question 1: Does your ex still think youre a good catch?

Gios ex is like, . Hes immature and Kaylens like Hes also fucking crazy, dont forget that yall. John, Asaf, Stephen and Cam get it right. Moving on.

Question 2: In one word how did your ex describe your relationship?

Gio gets a match because he said crazy and she said ridiculous. At least Gio fucking knows hes crazy. Admitting is the first step.

Morgans ex said that hes really smart and he acts like a stupid frat boy and its like, LOL okay. Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, honey. Maybe if you keep telling yourself you didnt date TFMs poster boy, you might retain some self-respect. I get it.

Toris like WOW hes so deep! Underneath all that muscle and that abnormally square head, he has a heart! Fucking incredible.

Question 3: Does your ex think youre ready to settle down?

Everyone says no. Im sure your matches are PUMPED. Johns very excited about this*fist bumps everyone around him* *pounds beer and crushes it on his forehead* *screams FUCK YEAH MERICA!*

Question 4:What animal best describes your personality?

Tylers ex is literally here to ruin lives, Im low-key living for it.

RYAN: What animal is Tyler? EX: Dog shit RYAN: Thats not an animal EX: RYAN: EX: RYAN: Okay, dog shit it is.

Stephen keeps getting them wrong and Gio keeps getting them rightmostly because every answer has been something like crazy, psycho or horrible. Gios like know yourself, know your worth.

Its down to John, Gio and Cam and Stephen is praying that John/Cam win. Putting your faith in Cam is like waiting for rain in this droughtuseless and disappointing (name that movie, Sam.)

Last Question: Does your ex think you still have feelings for her?

Cam, of course answers it incorrectly, so its John and Gio. Its also, dare I say, fucking lit.

John picks Kaylen and Gio picks, of course, Julia. Talk about the most awkward double date ever. This has given me life.

Julia and Stephen are talking and Stephen is like freaking out about Gio and Julia. He def very worried that Gio may be right.

STEPHEN: That plan is crazy JULIA: I know STEPHEN: So crazy. It just might work

Gios like “I NEED TO MOVE FORWARD OTHERWISE IM GONNA RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ALL OF YOU FUCKERS.” Basically, Gio is a giant asshole. Case closed, bring in the dancing lobsters.

There is a lot of mixed opinions here. Some want to vote Julia/Gio in because itll end this shit, some dont want to waste a truth booth.

HALF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Regina George because she got hit by a bus. THE OTHER HALF OF THE HOUSE: Im voting for Cady heron because shes the one that pushed her.

Prosper and Bagel are cuddling and laughing and let me tell you, I never saw this coming. Hes like youre sexy and Bagels like “I KNOW.” Our self-conscious little Bagel has grown into a confident young pastry *tear.

Tori and Morgan are in a room talking about repopulating the world and other totally relevant shit. Morgan is clearly hammered and is feeling on her ass, talking about her giant ass belly button.

Shes like I had to grow into my belly button and hes like “AH SO THATS WHY YOU GAINED WEIGHT.” YOOOOOOOO, that shit was loaded. Remember that big heart and big brain Morgan supposedly has? Best joke thats been told on this show.

He then is like NO NO THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT! and then is like I wish your ass was fatter. This whole conversation could honestly go down in history as the worst thing to ever exist. Wow, bravo to all involved.

THE WORLDS MOST UNCOMFORTABLE DATE AKA EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED

For the date, they are going wakeboarding, where Stephen hopes Gio accidently drowns, whoopsie. John gets up on the wake board and Kaylens like And yeah, she really does fucking suck.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THOSE TWO!!! Gio keeps touching Julia and shes like kinda uncomfortable, kinda not stopping it, which is the story of Julias life.

Mind you, this girl believes kissing is like the ultimate commitment while Gios like, a sex addict.

CHAZZ MICHAEL MICHAELS/GIO: I’m a sex addict. It’s my cross to bear. It’s a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!

Gios like if I leave here without you I have nothing! and its like, we get it, youre homeless. She says they only have a physical connection and hes like “I KNOW ISNT IT GREAT!?!”

GIO: *plays music* You and me baby aint nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

They argue the whole time and Gio is like YOURE MINE. Honestly, this dude needs to be put in a psych ward, not a homeless shelter. What are you gonna do, Gio? Fucking share a cot with Julia? Make her hold the sign while you panhandle?

TRUTH BOOTH

Gios like “When I won the challenge, it was amazing. Like fate, karma, the universe, anal sex. But now I feel jipped. What did he expect? They were gonna start fucking on the wakeboarding date?

Gio believes there is still a chance that Julia becomes so afraid for her safety she finally submits to himhes really holding out for that.

Obviously, Julia and Gio are voted to the truth booth. Stephen is like “THIS COULD CHANGE MY LIFE” and its like, nah probs not but ok.

John is pissed because, hes right, they fucking blew a truth booth on this bullshit. Its like, very clear that they are not a match and they just blew this whole thing.

Gios like the house is gonna feel stupid AF and Morgans like NO, youre gonna feel stupidwhen were like, right and stuff. ANYWAYS YOURE FAT!

While Gios planning his hostile takeover of Julias bed, shes like should I cut my wrist horizontally or vertically?

Im on edge and drinking excessively. This is low-key nerve wracking. But the results are in.

Hey Gio? Are you a 90s band that peaked with one song about cocaine? BECAUSE YOUR THIRD EYE IS BLIND, BITCH. NO MATCH FOR GIO AND JULIA, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS.

GIO, SADLY SINGING: I want somethin else *tear* to get me through this, semi-charmed kind of life, baby baby

And Julias like “there is someone out there for you, but that girl is NOT ME. FUCK YES!” Hes like in there crying and shes like checking her watch like, can we go now?

Stephen is crying too wtf is going on? Johns like consoling him and seriously, Ive seen less tears in my sorority house.

Julias like there, there Gio. Youve been through worse. Yeah honestly Gio, youve lived on the fucking streets. This is the least of your problems.

They come back and John is like and tells Gio that he needs to apologize to the group, Stephen and Julia. Honestly, Im a few tequila shots deep, because my life now consists of drinking alone and watching MTV reality shows, and Im all about John rn. Like is he really sexy or am I fucking hammered?

The conversation goes like: JOHN: Apologize GIO: no JOHN: please die

Julia thanks Stephen for being by her side and dealing with the fact she has never kissed him and he still tries to fight dudes twice his size. And finally they kiss. Aw, Julias first kiss! Babys first rave, babys first rave!

GIO, STILL CRYING AND SINGING: I wish you would step out from that ledge my friend.

The next day, Asaf and Franny are messing around and making out and hes like SHE VERY FUN, hehe. My mom and I discussed this whole thing in a riveting conversation below:

Morgan and the team get a meeting together and decide to do 100% new couples, except Asaf and Camille, because they are probs a match. This is a terrible idea. But Im here for it.

Stephen is like “THIS IS BULLSHIT! I want to pick Julia!” Im ready to put this whole relationship to bed, honestly.

MATCHUP CEREMONY

Ryan is wearing a fugly gray shirt that fades into plaid. Seriously that shit looks like the Sean John collection circa 11. Yikes.

Gio is up first and Ryan is like how did it feel to be wrong? Gios like Well sometimes the third eye has blurry vision, ya know? Who could say?

Gio kind of apologizes to Stephen, but not really.

GIO: I dont hate you because you’re fat; you’re fat because I hate you.

Gio picks Nicegirl Nicole, which is funny because she is the one who looks like she hates him the most half the time.

Prosper picks Franny and Ryans like OKAY, what the fuck are you people doing? Franny explains the strategy and Ryans like, Well arent you all just a bunch of loveable asswipes?

Stephen is up next. Hes like Waiting for that kiss was so worth it. Now hes just gotta wait for his balls to drop.

Ryans like “Are you going to pick Julia” and Morgans like bro Ill fucking haze the shit out of you bro if you fucking do thatFATASS! Of course, he goes against the grain and picks Julia. Ah, selfish men and criers, Julia has a type.

They start making out in front of everyone like Mormon moms everywhere are turning off their TVs, cursing that sinning whore Julia.

Tyler picks Bagel.

Cam picks Tori.

All the confirmed perfect matches at this point are like

Morgan picks Victoria.

Asaf says he thinks Franny is the one, which is very weird since a few weeks ago she was like his sister. Ryans like You mad youre not with her? and hes like STRATEGY, VERY NICE.

Asaf is like Acting like hes fucking jumping on a bomb instead of picking a girl to sit by for 3 minutes. John and Kaylen ARE last and they look miserable.

Kaylens like Gio I loved you and you fucking blew it and were wrong!!! Uh, you two arent a match either? Time to move the fuck on.

Of course, true to the martyr theme we got going here, hes like

RYAN:If you loved her you wouldnt have left her GIO: Honestly I feel so attacked right now

Suddenly Gio is saying that everything he did was for Kaylen. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

Like a speech from a riveting sports movie, Camille is like NO YOU FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT AND HELP US WIN THIS MONEY and everyone claps along. Like yeah Gio, lets go out there and win this fucking game! And Gios likehmmm, maybe some money and future prospects in life would be cool.

Were waiting for the beams and they arent coming. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. This is not a thing rn. OH, but it isTHEY GET A BLACKOUT.

This means Stephen/Julia, John/Kaylen AND Camille/Asaf arent matches. I think all 10,000 people who watch this show are stunned into shock.

They just lost 250,000 dollars, as Victoria so eloquently screams. Looks like youll be drinking boxed wine forever, Tyler.

Wow, this shit. This shit practically wrote itself. How did Gios third eye not see this coming?

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Source: http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-recap-gio-olympics-2016-everyone-is-a-fucking-loser/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2019/01/22/are-you-the-one-recap-gio-olympics-2016-everyone-is-a-fucking-loser/

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dual1pa · 8 years ago

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Request: Niall and y/n's families are longtime friends. Y/N doesn't like Niall cuz he's always used girls and now he's a frat boy. Y/N's mom doesn't like him either. One day, they're back from college and Niall seduces Y/N. When he has her submitting to his will he takes her to her mom's room and tells her she's gonna suck him off. Lots of dirty talk and toward the end y/n's mom comes home so Niall finishes on y/n's face and then walks out the room and winks to the mom. I want him mean :)

hope you like it :) thanks for your request.

I saw Niall walking around campus with his frat buddies, I wasnt sure how he was still in school since he rarely never attends classes, or that’s what I heard from my roommate, Rebecca. Rebecca is the same major as him, law. It boggles my mind him wanting to be lawyer. I was a psychology major so I rarely saw him around campus, only on occasion. Rebecca had the biggest crush on him, until she found out that he only uses girls for sex and is never really seen with the same girl. It pisses me off to see him use poor girls like that. I would never hook up with him. The downside to all this was my dad was best friends with Niall’s dad because they work together, whenever the Horan family comes over to visit, Niall isnt with him, only once in a blue moon does he show up. When he does show up all he does is get on my nerves. He acts like he knows everything and is very cocky and you didnt like it at all. He would always talk about the awesome party his frat would through almost every night, or he would give you these looks like he wanted to hook up with me. It got annoying and it got annoying fast! Though sometimes, you hated admitting it but you fantasized about him more than once.

Everytime the Horan family would leave after a long night, my mom and I would roll our eyes and thank the lord that “he” is finally gone. Though I didnt mind Mr. and Mrs. Horan, they were very, very nice and Mr. Horan is practically one of my dads best friends and he’s really happy when he’s around him and thats all that really matters to me.

One night, I decided to go home for the weekend just to escape from the dorms for a while, even if it was just for a few days. I pulled up into the driveway when I noticed that the Horan’s were here. I pulled up next to the car so they had room to get out when they left. I sat in my car for a few minutes praying that he wouldnt be in my home.

I walked in and into the living room to see Niall and his family sitting around the dinner table talking about my dad’s work, everyone turns their heads to look at me which was sort of uncomfortable.

“Y/N! Welcome!” my dad gets out of his chair and walks over to me giving me a hug.

“Hey, dad, sorry to interrupt. Thought I would come home for the weekend” looking at the faces that were staring at me.

“No need for apologies, sweetheart! Go into the kitchen and grab yourself a plate and sit down wherever there is a free seat open!” my dad went back to talking about something about his job.

I came back in with a plate of food looking around for a spot to sit, the only seat available was next to, of course, Niall. He winked at me and patted the seat next to him. I gave him a fake smile and sat down next to him. Everyone seemed to be held in a conversation except the two of us.

“SO” Niall said loudly. “How’s college life goin’ for ya?”

“It’s fine, i guess. You?” even though I didnt like him very much, you tried to be nice so I didnt seem like a giant asshole.

“Good, you know, gettin them A’s what can I say. I’m probably the smartest one in that class” he said with a rude tone.

I breathed heavily. Doesnt he never go to class?? It didn’t matter, really. I dont care what his grades are, I dont care if he goes to class or not.

He continued the conversation, but took a different approach.

“You gotta boyfriend?” he smirks.

“No, do YOU have a girlfriend?” I ask back in the same tone he asked me.

“Oh hell no, I don’t do the girlfriend thing, I only have sex with girls” he smirked again.

I honestly can’t believe he said that. I didnt really know how to respond to that type of statement. So I just nodded my head.

A few minutes later after more awkward conversation with him I feel his hand on my thigh. Damn, why did I decide to wear a skirt tonight??

I slapped his hand away. “What are you doing??” I whisper.

“Oh, relax darling, you don’t think I notice the way you look at me when i’m over here, i know ya want me” he whispered back putting his hand back on my thigh. I honestly didnt know I was giving him any signs that I wanted him. I would be lying if I said I wasnt enjoying it. His hand moved up further and his finger tapped my center and found my clit and started running tight circles. I let out a small moan, but not loud enough so anyone heard me. He pulled his hand away and got up whispering in my ear to meet him in my parents room. I was second guessing my decision to actually go and meet him, but, fuck it. I said I was finished eating and I was going to go upstairs for a while. I said goodbye to the Horan’s and quickly ran up the stairs.

I opened the door and was suddenly pushed up against the wall.

“I know you want me” he whispers putting his lips to my neck.

I couldnt think of any words at the moment so I let out a moan as a reply. His core was pushing up on your stomach and you could feel the erection in his pants grow bigger.

“Listen to me, I want you to suck my dick, and you suck it good. Do you understand me?” he says firmly in my ear. I start to back him up and push him down on the bed. I’m not really sure why were are in my parents room, but I didnt care. It’s not like they are going to come in here while there is company downstairs.

I unbottoned his pants and grabbed the hem of his jeans and his boxers and pulled them down together, his dick popped out and landed on his stomach. My mouth watered at the sight of it. You placed your hand on him and started pumping him.

“Put your mouth on it!” he shouted. I raised my eyebrows at the tone of his voice, but I did as I was told. I took as much of him into my mouth as I could. Taking him out of my mouth to use spit as a lubricant.

“Fuck” he muttered under his breath.

I knew he was coming close because he was breathing heavily. I decided to bob my head faster and deeper. I gagged a few times but that wasnt going to stop me. I wanted to be different from all the other girls he was screwing, I wanted to be better and I wanted him leaving here wanting more.

I looked up at him to find him watching his dick disappear into my mouth.

“I’m gonna come all over that pretty face. Stop, and come lay down, now.”

I do as I was told yet again. I layed down on my parents bed as he got on top of me with his dick super close to my face as he was pumping himself a few more times.

“Are you ready for my cum, Y/N, it’s gonna be all over your face” he says.

With him saying that last word, I was covered in his cum. Thank god none of it got on the bed sheets.

“Y/N!” I heard my mom yell from down the stairs. Shit. I didnt want my own mother to see me with Niall Horan’s cum all over my face. I quickly ran into the bathroom and grabbed a fresh towel out of the bathroom closet and wiped your face clean. I hid the towel in the way back of the closet, I’ll come back in here tomorrow so I can throw it with my laundry.

Once I came out of the bathroom, Niall was gone. Damn. Kinda wanted a goodbye kiss but whatever. It was Niall, what am I thinking? You came of your parents bedroom to see your mother glaring at you. Shit.

“What were you doing in there and why did Niall just walk downstairs winking at me?”

“I was just in there to go to the bathroom and I don’t know why Niall winked at you, it’s Niall Horan mom” She bought my lie.

“Im going to bed, goodnight.”

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adambstingus · 6 years ago