#which one is Dazai i wonder? vanitas? or noe? he could be either... kuni too hehe

[anticidic]

43 + kunizai for the spotify wrapped ask game thingy :3

#43: 0 (zero) English ver. — LMYK

Was it you who I’ve been searching for? Spent my life alone and waited for? So tenderly and endlessly You made me whole, you made me whole Was it you who I heard through the door? When I cried and had no place to go? I’ll never believe I’m alone In the end we begin ‘til we meet again You made me whole, you made me whole

(Beast!Kunikida + Beast!Dazai)

The hammer of a gun clicked.

And aimed itself at Dazai.

Not the first time it happened, but now the second time in less than a week Dazai found himself staring down the barrel of someone who should’ve been his friend. But that was in another world and not here. He wanted to lean forward and press his head against the cold metal, pray for Kunikida to pull the trigger and make it simply end. In another world, Kunikida would’ve chided him for saying such a stupid thing.

Here, with the hatred that burned in Kunikida’s gaze, Dazai was pretty sure he would act upon that threat—and wouldn’t think twice.

“You. Again.” The grip Kunikida had on his gun was shaky. As if the idea of gunning down the leader of their enemy was but a figment of his imagination, and now here in the flesh, he didn’t know how to react without crumbling. His stare of disbelief was replaced by an unwavering glare. “You’re back again. You’ve come to antagonize me now, or what? Leave! You’ve bothered Akutagawa and Oda enough, and if the president would give me the word, this conversation would never have happened.”

Dazai remembered his own gun tucked safely away in his coat pocket. In the blink of an eye, he could have it out, but then they would be at a standstill with the pressing question burning between them: who had the courage to pull the trigger first?

It took a true kingsman to summon the will to face reality in all its darkness. To stare straight into the abyss and do what needed to be done. It also took a true kingsman to suffocate under the crushing weight of a crown he never wanted but was forced upon him.

Only two others could know of the intricacies of their little world here. Dazai had it carefully planned out and his fated ones chosen ever since he took leadership. No, that wasn’t right. Even before that. Before eighteen, before he tossed Akutagawa aside for his sister. Those two did not include Kunikida, and it pained Dazai. With how Kunikida looked at him, wanting to scream at him to go away—to go away for good and leave everyone alone six feet under where Dazai belonged—Dazai wanted to scream back.

In another life, they were not on opposite sides like this. They had each other’s backs through thick and thin: through Yokohama’s almost total annihilation twice over and through their enemies that threatened to sever the agency. Now they were enemies. They still fought for the city’s peace, but Dazai had become public enemy number one in this world.

Forcing out a chuckle through that terrible thought, Dazai slid his hands into his pockets and stepped closer. Any closer and cold metal would touch him. Until Kunikida took a step back with every one of Dazai’s that went forward. “I suppose I should’ve expected my warm welcome to be having a gun pointed at me, but it’s still disappointing when I mean no harm.” He removed his hands and held them out in front of him, tilting his head slightly. “Unless you plan on shooting me right here and right now, your threat is empty and meaningless to me. Besides, it’s easier for me to talk to you without a gun between us. What if you…miss? Then what, Kunikida-kun—”

“Don’t call me that,” Kunikida snapped back and aimed the gun at Dazai’s forehead. “You will never be welcome here. I only agreed to meet with you because I wanted answers and suspected that you had been planning something for a while now. I know all about the subordinates you sent after the agency. Akutagawa’s sibling that you hold over his head…the meeting you tricked Oda into. All of it! You’re not a friend.” The gun shook and he bared his teeth in a scowl. “You’ll never be. So long as you’re the Port Mafia’s boss, you’re forever a problem that needs to be watched. You, your underboss, all the executives. Every last one of them.”

“What if I told you there’s someone much worse than me out there?” Dazai steeled his nerves and stood tall despite the agony that welled up in his chest and threatened to burst. It was Oda all over again, and somehow more personal. He could take a rejection. He took several in his time since he was a kid. But he couldn’t take rejections that caused constant deaths in the heart. Only a little longer, he rationalized. Only a little longer until curtain call and the final plan was set in motion.

Then he’d be gone from the world.

“Somewhere…at some point in time…horrible things happened to our city. And to all the people in it. There’s someone who seeks to destroy and rebuild the world from the ground up, and we’re all just a bunch of mass casualties of that vision.”

“I have no reason to believe anything you say.” Kunikida narrowed his eyes and moved the gun slightly off to the side. “I’ve heard of no such threats, and you’re telling me someone will destroy the entire world?”

“And it’s coming soon—a few days, tops. A devil in disguise. You could shoot me, and we’ll all be doomed here, too.” Dazai reached out and pushed the gun aside. He noticed Kunikida’s grip tighten as he reluctantly lowered it to his side. A slight smile played on Dazai’s lips. A tiny victory even if a giant chasm stood between them. They couldn’t be friends, but it was something.

“Is that supposed to be your reasoning for tormenting half the agency—that there’s someone out there worse than you? Because it sounds exactly like something I would expect someone from a criminal organization to say to explain away the blood on their hands.”

“And how many of yours have blood on their hands?” Dazai shot back. “We do what needs to be done, for the benefit of Yokohama. Isn’t that right?” Closing his eyes, he breathed in deeply and opened them again, expression softening. “You say you don’t believe me, but I’m glad you heard me out, at least. …You haven’t changed.” Turning away, Dazai heard fabric rustle and an annoyed grunt, no longer feeling the killing urge radiate from Kunikida.

It was replaced with frustration. And a sort of defeat.

“May we meet again in a kinder life, Kunikida-kun.”

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[fyodorsushankaaa]

i am. i am sobbin. thank you very much for that. /pos

43 + kunizai for the spotify wrapped ask game thingy :3

#43: 0 (zero) English ver. — LMYK

Was it you who I’ve been searching for? Spent my life alone and waited for? So tenderly and endlessly You made me whole, you made me whole Was it you who I heard through the door? When I cried and had no place to go? I’ll never believe I’m alone In the end we begin ‘til we meet again You made me whole, you made me whole

(Beast!Kunikida + Beast!Dazai)

The hammer of a gun clicked.

And aimed itself at Dazai.

Not the first time it happened, but now the second time in less than a week Dazai found himself staring down the barrel of someone who should’ve been his friend. But that was in another world and not here. He wanted to lean forward and press his head against the cold metal, pray for Kunikida to pull the trigger and make it simply end. In another world, Kunikida would’ve chided him for saying such a stupid thing.

Here, with the hatred that burned in Kunikida’s gaze, Dazai was pretty sure he would act upon that threat—and wouldn’t think twice.

“You. Again.” The grip Kunikida had on his gun was shaky. As if the idea of gunning down the leader of their enemy was but a figment of his imagination, and now here in the flesh, he didn’t know how to react without crumbling. His stare of disbelief was replaced by an unwavering glare. “You’re back again. You’ve come to antagonize me now, or what? Leave! You’ve bothered Akutagawa and Oda enough, and if the president would give me the word, this conversation would never have happened.”

Dazai remembered his own gun tucked safely away in his coat pocket. In the blink of an eye, he could have it out, but then they would be at a standstill with the pressing question burning between them: who had the courage to pull the trigger first?

It took a true kingsman to summon the will to face reality in all its darkness. To stare straight into the abyss and do what needed to be done. It also took a true kingsman to suffocate under the crushing weight of a crown he never wanted but was forced upon him.

Only two others could know of the intricacies of their little world here. Dazai had it carefully planned out and his fated ones chosen ever since he took leadership. No, that wasn’t right. Even before that. Before eighteen, before he tossed Akutagawa aside for his sister. Those two did not include Kunikida, and it pained Dazai. With how Kunikida looked at him, wanting to scream at him to go away—to go away for good and leave everyone alone six feet under where Dazai belonged—Dazai wanted to scream back.

In another life, they were not on opposite sides like this. They had each other’s backs through thick and thin: through Yokohama’s almost total annihilation twice over and through their enemies that threatened to sever the agency. Now they were enemies. They still fought for the city’s peace, but Dazai had become public enemy number one in this world.

Forcing out a chuckle through that terrible thought, Dazai slid his hands into his pockets and stepped closer. Any closer and cold metal would touch him. Until Kunikida took a step back with every one of Dazai’s that went forward. “I suppose I should’ve expected my warm welcome to be having a gun pointed at me, but it’s still disappointing when I mean no harm.” He removed his hands and held them out in front of him, tilting his head slightly. “Unless you plan on shooting me right here and right now, your threat is empty and meaningless to me. Besides, it’s easier for me to talk to you without a gun between us. What if you…miss? Then what, Kunikida-kun—”

“Don’t call me that,” Kunikida snapped back and aimed the gun at Dazai’s forehead. “You will never be welcome here. I only agreed to meet with you because I wanted answers and suspected that you had been planning something for a while now. I know all about the subordinates you sent after the agency. Akutagawa’s sibling that you hold over his head…the meeting you tricked Oda into. All of it! You’re not a friend.” The gun shook and he bared his teeth in a scowl. “You’ll never be. So long as you’re the Port Mafia’s boss, you’re forever a problem that needs to be watched. You, your underboss, all the executives. Every last one of them.”

“What if I told you there’s someone much worse than me out there?” Dazai steeled his nerves and stood tall despite the agony that welled up in his chest and threatened to burst. It was Oda all over again, and somehow more personal. He could take a rejection. He took several in his time since he was a kid. But he couldn’t take rejections that caused constant deaths in the heart. Only a little longer, he rationalized. Only a little longer until curtain call and the final plan was set in motion.

Then he’d be gone from the world.

“Somewhere…at some point in time…horrible things happened to our city. And to all the people in it. There’s someone who seeks to destroy and rebuild the world from the ground up, and we’re all just a bunch of mass casualties of that vision.”

“I have no reason to believe anything you say.” Kunikida narrowed his eyes and moved the gun slightly off to the side. “I’ve heard of no such threats, and you’re telling me someone will destroy the entire world?”

“And it’s coming soon—a few days, tops. A devil in disguise. You could shoot me, and we’ll all be doomed here, too.” Dazai reached out and pushed the gun aside. He noticed Kunikida’s grip tighten as he reluctantly lowered it to his side. A slight smile played on Dazai’s lips. A tiny victory even if a giant chasm stood between them. They couldn’t be friends, but it was something.

“Is that supposed to be your reasoning for tormenting half the agency—that there’s someone out there worse than you? Because it sounds exactly like something I would expect someone from a criminal organization to say to explain away the blood on their hands.”

“And how many of yours have blood on their hands?” Dazai shot back. “We do what needs to be done, for the benefit of Yokohama. Isn’t that right?” Closing his eyes, he breathed in deeply and opened them again, expression softening. “You say you don’t believe me, but I’m glad you heard me out, at least. …You haven’t changed.” Turning away, Dazai heard fabric rustle and an annoyed grunt, no longer feeling the killing urge radiate from Kunikida.

It was replaced with frustration. And a sort of defeat.

“May we meet again in a kinder life, Kunikida-kun.”

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