#which now that im saying it actually makes sense

[theminecraftbee]

hello second. this week's wildcard got a friend to start reading hgcz and now because of that im back In The Trenches. d. do you have any thoughts. on soup group

Gem thumps her head against the bar and groans. Outside, the 'open' sign is not lit. It is 10 AM, and it is time for neither customers nor villainy. If it were time for customers, Gem would probably be in the secret base in the former-Speakeasy basement (she is, apparently, not suited for customer service). If it were time for villainy, well, Gem would either be there or on the streets, causing the kinds of problems only she and her gun can cause.

No, it is time for none of those things. Instead, it is time for something far worse: paperwork.

"I don't need health insurance!" Gem says. "Or life insurance! Or insurance-insurance! I'm pretty sure I'm like, uninsurable? On account of technically only sort of being a real person? It's not like I can go back to the Farm and go 'oh by the way, I need my birth certificate' now, it's defunct!"

"Everyone needs health insurance," Impulse says gravely.

"No, I don't! We see Doctor Zombie! You know, the black market doctor? The one who half the villains and vigilantes in the city see? I pay her in like, secrets and cadavers, not--"

"Don't admit that, the cops'll get you," Pearl says, throwing a dart at the bar's dartboard.

"You think that's what they're going to arrest me for? Giving dead bodies to the doctor? Because like, man, they're choosing the weirdest crime to finally get me for if so" Gem asks.

"I mean, maybe!" Pearl says.

"None of us are cops and you're getting health insurance. Now choose your most airtight fake ID," Impulse says, and then, seemingly thinking twice about getting trying to get Gem to choose which of her four currently-unburnt fake identities to go with, grabs her wallet and starts going through it himself. She lifts her head from the bar, accepting she's lost this argument.

"My SSN is six," Gem says to him dryly. He rolls his eyes and continues meticulously filling out paperwork. She sighs and turns to Pearl. "Really, can you believe this man? Health insurance! You know, at this rate I'm going to be told I'm a necessary budget cut a second time. And if the identity he chooses gets burnt, you know that'll just lead one of the people hunting us down right back to this bar. Knowing our luck, it'll be Hotguy or Cuteguy. Ugh, imagine."

She expects Pearl to joke back. Instead she's met with Pearl's face, tired and sad and fond all at once.

"Is it really so much to think he just wants to take care of you?" Pearl asks.

Gem listens as, for a moment, the scratch of Impulse's pen against the paper stops. He sighs. A low roll of fog spreads out across the bar. He resumes writing.

"I don't like, need taken care of," Gem says.

Pearl's expression gets a little more exhausted.

"Have you considered that I also want to take care of you? To do something I know--a little impact, while we can? For someone who it won't hurt to give that help to?"

Gem goes silent.

"Think of it as weapons maintenance," Impulse rumbles, and it makes it make sense but before Gem can say so, Pearl stabs one of the darts into the dartboard so hard it rips.

"Stop saying it like that," she says.

"Sorry," Impulse and Gem say at the same time.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with you two," Pearl says. "I'm going to go get the backup. That college group that's real bad at darts normally comes in today."

She stalks to the back of the bar. Gem looks over at Impulse. Impulse looks back. She suspects their expressions are equally apologetic. They're also equally fond, and equally, well...

"You know, sometimes I wonder if she's going to be okay," Impulse says.

"Yeah," Gem says.

"I do actually need an SSN for... Aries Eva?"

"I'll get that for you. It's just--it's not actually the insurance I mind. You sure you want me legally tied to your small business?" Gem asks.

"Why wouldn't I? It's not like she's wrong," Impulse says, and Gem breathes out herself, doesn't comment on the growing fog, and writes down a number. She resolves not to use the health insurance. It's too much of a risk that someone will track it back to these people who think she's worth taking care of.

Still. She supposes it's not that bad to have.

[mythalism]

in my rook hating mindset now after that post this morning and cannot stop thinking about how they are literally the worst protagonist maybe in any story i have ever experienced JRHGKJERHGJERG. and like if you love your rook i am not saying you shouldn't. if you love your rook i am so so happy for you genuinely but you are also probably brilliant and have a huge brain because what the game gives you to build off of is so abysmal.

i literally cannot stop thinking about how insane it is that rook literally causes a double blight and worldwide catastrophe on a scale which thedas has not seen probably since the creation of the veil itself and just. experiences no remorse. and the story tries to tell us thats a good thing and makes them better than the villain/their foil. JHREGJKHERGJKHERG. HELLO?!!??!?!?! literally no one ever goes "hey maybe you shouldnt have done that" except solas and hes framed as the VILLAIN!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!! hawke blames themselves for not putting the pieces together fast enough when a bouquet of white lilies arrived at their door? the narrative gleefully condemn anders with the immediate opportunity to kill him for his crimes. nearly every single character in origins immediately puts the entirety of the responsibility for the fifth blight on loghain's shoulders, regardless of the CLEAR SUGGESTION that the battle at ostagar could never have been won. and all of these makes sense for the world and characters!!!!! of course hawke would blame themselves for their families deaths when they were given the role of protector by leandra after malcom dies. of course the city of kirkwall is going to want anders dead for his extreme act of violence rather than start the uncomfortable process of acknowledging the beloved chantry's complicity in large scale abuse happening in the mage circles!!!! of course alistair and the warden are going to blame loghain for the blight and cailan's death!!!! it doesnt matter if they are right or wrong, it makes sense for their perspective and worldview to feel this way!!!!

have yall gotten the low approval conversations in inquisition????? solas's "Inquisitor. Tell me. How does it feel? Being you. Are you blissfully unaware or, deep inside, is some part of you banging on the walls, screaming?" cassandra getting drunk and practically spitting in your face how she regrets raising you up to such power? blackwalls' "Are you proud of yourself, of what you’ve built here? How about the lives you’ve destroyed along the way? Given much thought to those lately? Is this Inquisition all you wanted it to be? Because I’m disappointed. All I see is a gang of thugs led by a self-serving tyrant." and these SCATHING comments from those who once believed in the inquisitor enough to join their cause come from decisions that affect a fraction of the population that dies under the southern double blight. people will rip the inquisitior to fucking shreds when they fuck up. THATS THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE TRESPASSER DLC EHRGKJHERGKJHERG. like holy shit every decision carries the weight of "oh my god whos gonna hate me. who is going to die because of my choice. how is this going to come back to bite me." have we forgotten what its like to return to varric after leaving hawke in the fade and confess what we did? the call we just made? to look him in the eye and tell him that we sacrificed his best friend? WHY IS ROOK NEVER ASKED TO PARTICIPATE IN ANY OF THIS INTROSPECTION?????????? TO EVALUATE HOW THEIR DECISIONS AFFECT THOSE AROUND THEM BOTH PERSONALLY AND SOCIETY AS A WHOLE????? OH MY GODDDDD

the regret prison scene is so insane. first its insane because its solas at his best and most cunty. but secondly it makes no fucking sense even if im largely distracted by pookie being fun and villainous. solas tries desperately to play up rook's regrets during their conversations and we are supposed to believe that it was that manipulation that allowed him to swap with them in the prison. how does this actually work? blood magic? dont worry about it, kitten. but then when we get into the prison.... the only two regrets that manifest are things that just happened within the last 3 hours - your two party sacrifices. lets be clear that these are not even real sacrifices because literally all of these people volunteer to go and then argue about why they should go. this is so fucking stupid. then rook looks at the statues and says "i dont regret this because this was your choice". YEAH????? OF COURSE YOU DONT FUCKING REGRET IT WHY WOULD YOU. HELLO???? THIS WAS NOT ROOKS CHOICE THIS WAS ROOK JUST SAYING "SURE I GUESS". AND THEN THATS ENOUGH! THEY JUST LEAVE BC THEY CONQUERED THEIR REGRETS!?!?!?!?!??! WHAT!!!!!! there is no discussion of rook being responsible for the blight in the south that we find out via ooc inquisitior letter has KILLED LITERALLY EVERYONE. no suggestion that their recklessness and willingness to act WITHOUT ALL THE INFORMATION at the ritual is the reason for every single thing the evanuris do following their release.

and let me be very clear bc i know this was causing drama on twitter last week. i am not saying the double blights is rook's fault. i actually dont think it is their fault, although i do think they are stupid and reckless and shouldn't have acted so carelessly. but although rook is responsible for ghilly and edgar breaking free, rook is not responsible for the their actions following that freedom, and rook is not at fault for being put into an impossible situation (the need to stop solas's ritual) without all of the information on what the ritual was and what stopping it might incur. however, the double blight is rook's fault in the same way that the veil, the fall of the elvhen empire, elven mortality, and every demon's existence is solas's fault; which is to say, it is and it is not. solas was backed into a corner, in a desperate situation without knowledge of the potential consequences, and was forced to make a decision for the good of the world when he imprisoned the evanuris and blight with the veil. rook was backed into a corner, in a desperate situation without knowledge of the potential consequences, and was forced to make a decision for what they thought was the good of the world when they interrupted solas's ritual. but while solas feels immense guilt and responsibility for the choice he made, rook feels.... absolutely none. and the game tells us that... they're right? people should just not take accountability for anything? i will give credit where it's due here that varric's contribution to this scene is quite good and his line where rook tries to take responsibility for his death and varric says smth like "no, that was my own choice and you dont get to take that from me" is B A N G E R. WHERE WAS THAT ENERGY IN THE REST OF THIS FUCKING GAME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

THAT was the lesson solas needed to learn, not that his regret was wrong but that it was MISPLACED!!!!!!!!! and that is why it is mythal acknowledging that their burden is shared and not his alone is the culmination of his entire story and what finally allows him to move on. pride stands alone, wisdom seeks out the input of others to make an informed and wise decision. this is also why he leaves such breadcrumbs for the inquisitor (a high approval one, at least) because he respects their opinion and their input and their existence and the way they treat him turns him back into wisdom from pride. this is why a romanced inquisitor mentions his name being pride and how its possible that hes not even CAPABLE of changing his mind because it would be so against his nature, and he needs someone whose opinion he values to show him the way. his flaw is his SELF INFLICTED LONELINESS!!!!! NOT HIS REGRET. varric even fucking says this in some random banter you get with his ghost in the infirmary but im too lazy to go find it on my desktop. its something about how he sees attachments as a weakness rather than a strength. his pride causes him to take on responsibility that is not his, his wisdom -> pride corruption has led him to believe he is the only one capable of fixing the world's problems and he will destroy both himself and those he loves in the process. he asserts that he is just a man but is unable to stop making decisions for the world like a god.

THIS is the solas/rook foil that should have been: rook relies on their friends and that reliance is ESSENTIAL; after all, the neve/bellara and davrin/harding sacrifice is essential to win. in contrast solas refuses to rely on anyone, and this isolation makes him increasingly cruel. when he has no one to mirror the way a spirit should, he becomes Pride, too proud and too god-like. his attachments make him more human. he is terrified of depending on others and will kill them rather than risk the vulnerability of dependence after what it has done to him (mythal, felassan). he has to unlearn this avoidance and fear, he has to admit that there "could have been a better way" that someone else saw and he did not. he must learn that he does not have all the answers. he is not Pride. its NOT that rook doesnt experience regret and doesn't take accountability for mistakes while solas is trapped by his own regrets. the message we got instead is so incoherent. but it was SO CLOSE TO BEING GOOD. the bones of this are littered everywhere in both the game and in the datamined content and for some reason it just could not be brought together in a way that makes sense.

the message that rook is "right" and better for not having regrets is genuinely insane, especially when the "regrets" they have to conquer are literally just. other peoples decisions. the fact that rook has the audacity to say to solas that he could never escape the prison while they could so easily because he is trapped by his own regret as if rook is better than him is genuinely so fucking dumb it makes me want to claw my eyes out for having been forced to read it. rook sacrifices nothing and learns nothing. the sacrifices within the game belong to the characters that make them, rook does not order people to their deaths in the same way that solas or even THE INQUISITOR do. rook never is asked to grapple with the fact that they ACCIDENTALLY unleashed a double blight, no matter how good their intentions. WHY DOES NO ONE BLAME THEM FOR THIS???? regardless of if it is their fault or not, the objective truth of fault does not matter, what matters is that you make decisions and PEOPLE JUDGE YOU FOR THEM!!!!!!!!! THIS IS LIKE FOUNDATIONAL TO THESE GAMES JEHRGJKREHGJKRHG. this is what the entire game is about doing to solas. judging him. based on his choices. and the game clearly wants you to have empathy for him in the end. but its so OBVIOUS that the vessel for building up that empathy should have been ROOK EXPERIENCING THE SAME THING!!! THE SAME JUDGEMENT!!! THE SAME GROWTH!!!!! FEELING THE BURDEN OF THE WORLD ON THEIR SHOULDERS. FEELING THE DREAD OF GUILT AND SHAME AND REGRET. TRYING TO DEFEND THEIR INTENTIONS!!! I DIDNT MEAN TO I DIDNT MEAN TO IT WAS A MISTAKE!!!! LEARNING THAT THEY HAVE TO OWN UP TO IT BUT THEY ALSO HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO MOVE FORWARD!!!!!! HELLO!??!?!?!?! they BARELY even express remorse for the treviso/minrathous sacrifice, even when faced with neve/lucanis's anger they just go "a decision had to be made and i made it". well. YEAH? LIKE YEAH THATS RIGHT BUT HUMANS HAVE FEELINGS??? YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A PERSON, NOT A BLANK SLATE VIDEO GAME PROTAGONIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS OKAY TO FEEL BAD!!!! YOU MADE A DECISION THAT RESULTED IN PEOPLE DYING. ANY HUMAN BEING WOULD FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS. ITS KIND OF FUCKING WEIRD THAT YOU DO NOT. HOW IS ROOK JUST BORN BEING OK WITH THIS. ITS SO ROBOTIC AND ARTIFICIAL LOL

rooks actions are such a clear, perfect parallel to solas putting up the veil and the guilt that haunts him afterwards that i KNOW it was intended that way and somehow it just got completely shafted. it literally feels like they did have a coherent parallel going and for some reason were forced to change directions last minute and thus we got some mish mashed barely cobbled together incoherent nonsense with clear echoes of its former self. instead rook has no flaws, makes perfect judgements at all time, has unconditional support from all of their friends who also make perfect judgements, are immune to making mistakes, and the message is its actually just really easy to not have regrets if you just choose right every time and refuse to take responsibility for anything as long as you had good intentions :D

[pmbueckers]

— ‘tis the damn season taylor swift

pairing – paige bueckers x fem oc!dorothea greene

summary – its now 2023 and they’ve been at it since highschool, this back and forth, what happens when paige and thea realize this hometown situationship might be something worth more?

word count – 3.7k

warnings – idgaf abt punctuation, language

authors note – there will be multiple parts, this is very much the "intro", tried my very best to line it up with ttds lyrics but giving it my own twist/meaning. it makes sense to me but thats coming from a chronic swiftie so idk if its gonna be confusing for others or not.. pls lmk but be nice lol

dorothea greene pov

if i wanted to know who you were hanging with while i was gone i would have asked you 

its been three years since we graduated and no matter how much i told myself the throwing of our caps in the air was it, the symbolic end, i knew myself better than that. i knew her better. i knew us better. because thats not how our christmas break went six months later, or the year after, and year after that. which brings us to now. i go home tonight. to celebrate the holidays with my family and hometown friends, but the odds that i dont see her are slim to none. and shes all i can think about as im trying to pack. everything im throwing in my bag, a reminder of her. the shoes she got me for my birthday years ago, my favorite t shirt to sleep in that may or may not be hers. even what im wearing to the goddamn airport, a sweatsuit i bought at the mall of america with her, and a necklace she gave to me before we graduated that i cant muster the strength to give up. i know i dont mean anything to her anymore, honestly i dont know if i even meant that much to her back then, but i cant help but be conflicted myself, why is it the whole year im fine, “cured” of paige bueckers, but the second it hits december and i know snow is falling back home, i need to be back in hopkins wrapped up in her arms? she probably has someone else by now. no, she definitely has someone else by now. ugh this shouldnt be so hard. okay. just go home, dont get drawn back in. easy right?

im loading all my things into my car, this car, damn we did it in her car too didnt we? see, what did i say? constant. reminders.

its the kind of cold, fogs up windshield glass but i felt it when i passed you 

fuck, “snap out of it” i murmur to myself over and over while loading my bags. its not too many bags so im just piling them into my passenger seat as im paying to keep my car parked at the airport while im gone. i head back up to my apartment to lock it up then im pulling out of my places parking ramp and am on the freeway to the airport, a peaceful car ride, that is till i get a notification that makes my heart jump and car nearly swerve off the road. and i know its abt to begin, im abt to fall back in, but i cant help it.

paige bueckers

Hey

Whats your break schedule

read 6:21 pm

dorothea greene

hi.

ive got the next four weeks of classes off but im only home for abt two.

deciding to only stay home for about two weeks to minimize the amount of damage i can do involving her, but i keep that part out.

Cool

When’s your flight?

in two hours actually

im on the road rn

Don’t crash pls

I prefer you alive

i roll my eyes and let out a little snicker, thankful she cant hear, but typical paige having to sneak at least something in. im glancing up and down from my phone to the road, dont text and drive is repeating in my head in my moms voice, but its paige. the exact reason why im afraid to go home.

funny

Its the truth

So your landing in 6 hrs then?

At 12?

nice math

Alr alr chill 😂

How you getting home from the airport its gonna be late

Prolly like 1 am

yeah ik

thats what ubers are for paige

Nah uh no way

What if its a creep

I’ll come get you

no

i cant ask u to do that

u wont get home till like two

(a lie, im overestimating, but i really wasnt intenting on seeing paige this early on my tip back home.)

U aint askin im offering

Plus I want to

hm yeah right why is that paige

Aint it obvious comon

I miss you Thea.

read 6:43

theres an ache in you put there by the ache in me but if its all the same to you its the same to me 

and just like that, those three words, eight letters. that i so wish were three different ones, eight different letters, that im sure shes said to someone else, someone new in connecticut, but i cant bother to care about right now because at least i got something, something to show that maybe she still cares a little bit. a little bit about me. and i dont know if this is a mistake, even though i think i do. i know i do. even though i just told myself a couple of hours ago i wasnt going to do this. but hell, going from trying to not see her at all to her being the first person i see is almost comical. 

okay.

im going to be in terminal one

gate G20.

Damn was kinda hopin for a diff kinda rsp

Guess that’ll do…

you’re so pushy omg

i miss you too p.

That’s more like it 😊

i hate you sm

Nah

You dont.

read 6:49

paige is right, which she knows, and i hate that. that i dont hate her, i never could, and i dont think i ever will. that is what hurts the most. no matter how much i have to remind myself of the routine and how much this will never go anywhere, how her words are empty, only sounding full and meaningful for the week or two we are in the same city, i dont know how to stop. bc its her. its paige. my paige.

the rest of my travel night goes by in a blur, i paid for my car to be parked in the garage, i checked my bags, went through security, waited at the gate, and am now on the plane where i would normally get a nice four hour nap in so the ride would go by quicker, i dont, because i dont know if im prepared to land, to see whos waiting for me once this plane lands in minnesota. but just like that it does, it lands.

thankfully im seated near the back of the aircraft so i have a little bit more time wasting im able to do, i find myself walking to baggage claim extremely slow its almost comical, praying my bag isnt one of the first ones out, but of course it is. curse you universe. im plotting on how im gonna look lost outside, how i purposefully cant find her car like i have no idea what it looks like, like i dont have her licscene plate number memorized. like we havent done unspeakable shit in that car, unable to wait a ten minute drive home from a random bar. that is until i look up from my phone, suspicious because she hasnt texted me about her whereabouts outside yet, and i spot a little ways down the strip of the airport, a strikingly bright blonde head of hair that i would recognize anywhere. my pace, unbeknownst to me, picks up, and as i get closer i can make out that shes holding up a sign. not huge and flashy, but modest, smaller, she begins to walk towards me as well with what i can make out so far as the biggest grin on her face i have ever seen. that im sure my own face is reflecting. the closer she gets the more clear her sign becomes, that reads, ‘welcome home thea’ as she flips it to back that says ‘ive missed you most’. at this point ive completely ditched my bags and have just jumped in her arms, a giggling mess. god im a child. my arms are wrapped around her neck, hers around my waist, lifting me up off the floor slightly, breathing into my neck, a couple of hours ago i said i wasnt going to get drawn back in, now im in the middle of the airport looking like a lovesick idiot. 

so we could call it even you could call me babe for the weekend 'tis the damn season 

“hi baby” she mumbled against my skin and heart just about burst. i missed her so much. i pull back to look at her face, i just want to look at her face, i could forever. with my hands cupping her face. her rosy cheeks from being outside in the minnesota weather all cold, trying to warm her up. and as shes setting me down shes wiping hair out of my face, off of my forehead, looking deep into my eyes with her ocean blue ones, “god i missed you.” she whispered, quiet enough to be heard by just us, like a secret she didnt want anyone around us to hear in fear of it breaking. “so ive heard” i say back to her, moving my face closer to hers, with a smug but playful grin on my lips. and my arms are right back around her neck as im saying into her ear “i missed you too p.” scattering small kisses across the side of her head. on her ear, hairline, neck, temple. i know better. but at this point, theres no going back. and its not on her lips, so what damage is it really doing? i back away and intertwine my hand with hers while looking into her eyes, “lets go home, k?” i say while nodding my head in encouragement, “okay” she mumbles, while squeezing my hand, and grabbing my bags for me off of the floor. shes perfect, for these next two weeks shes going to be perfect. 

write this down, im stayin at my parents house and the road not taken looks real good now, and it always leads to you in my hometown 

im in her passenger seat, like ive been in drastically different situations many times before, as we’ve finally made it out of the god awful airport pickup zone. ive been day dreaming out this window for who knows how long about her of course. because when im with her as happy as it makes me, it only confuses me more. and it drives me insane. thats when i feel her right hand creep up on my thigh from the drivers side in soothing circles, “thea? hey did you hear what i said?” my eyes jerk down to her hand and then towards her eyes. “sorry p, whats up?” because i genuinely did miss her question, but theres some look etched on her face one i havent seen before, and it makes me take a big gulp of water thats been sitting in her car for possibly ages, as im all of a sudden afraid of what shes gonna say. her hand continues to rub soothing circles on my thigh while her eyes i swear are staring into the deepest parts of my soul, i should be worried considering shes currently driving on the highway but i cant seem to care, the way she looks at me makes me feel like im the only person in the world. “hey are you okay?” she says sincerely, “what?” i say almost too loudly, “sorry, yeah no im good p”, safe to say that wasnt what i was expecting her to ask. i dont know what i was, but it wasnt that. not something that made her seem like she cares deeper than the surface level. actually able to tell when somethings going on with me. whatever, its probably nothing. “alright thea,” as her goddamn hand is almost territorially sitting on my thigh now, like shes trying to protect me from the heat coming out of the ac in the car, “you never told me where im takin you.” she states, looking at me with her cute but smuggish at the same time grin. “yeah right, sorry, uh im staying with my parents. i’ll send you the address.” i ramble, trying to get this car ride to go by quicker. i swear shes driving slower on purpose. just to see me squirm. i see out of the corner of my eye as im going to send her the address her hand coming up to my phone, shes setting my hands down in my lap, and then turning my chin to face her, “thea. enough with the sorries. and i know were your parents live baby you dont need to send me the address.” she lets out a chuckle, but not one making fun, a light hearted one, as her hand moves to find mine and intertwines our fingers in my lap. but i know paige better than anyone, before we were whatever this is, we were friends, bestfriends. so of course she lets no teasing opportunity pass her by. “damn,” she says, looking down at my phone, that has our messages open, “my full legal name as the contact name is lethal” she says, looking up at me with a smirk, i shove her shoulder trying not to give her the satisfaction of a laugh and am then playing with the rings on her fingers. “alright p i would like a better suggestion. your name as your name in my phone makes complete sense to me. now i dont even wanna know what you got me as in yours,” i say with a chuckle, but also leaving it on a hint, i do wanna know. its probably nothing special, but paige is right, anything other than my full name would be special. “oh really?” shes looking at me with that smirk, god it kills me. shes pulled out her phone and opened it up to my contact, 'thea 💚'. it really seems like nothing special to the blind eye, but it is to me. not even my full first name, my nickname, with a heart that just about makes my own heart burst. and not just any heart, one of my favorite color, that ironically is the same as my last name. no words are exchanged just two pairs of eyes looking deeply into one another, faces with the biggest grins on them, while the rest of the car ride was silent. the center console of her car jabbing into the left side of my rib cage so my head was able to lean on her shoulder with her hand in my lap the whole way home. our hearts beating almost too romantically in sync the whole way to my parents house.

paige, despite what i knew she wanted to do, dropped me off at home. she pulled into my parents driveway with her headlights off, sure to not wake them, and though the door wasnt even twenty feet away, “im still walking you to it” she insisted, while grabbing my bags from the backseat. i unlocked the door, placed my bags inside and turned to the tall blonde, looking up into her icy blue eyes. “thank you for getting me p. and bringing me home,” i whispered the last part as i reach up to place my arms around her neck, as her arms find their familar home around my waist. i couldnt tell you how long we stood there for, swaying lightly, not wanting to let one another go, with my front door wide open letting all the cold minnesota air in but i finally pulled away looking into her eyes, mumbling “but i cant let you in. i want to, but i cant, p.” paige sighs, looking down at our feet, then back at me, “i know baby, its okay.” she spoke while wiping baby hairs away from my face and once again scooping me up in a hug. her breath warm agaisnt the left crevice where my neck and shoulder meet. i want to let her in so bad, but i cant because i know myself. i know her. i know us. and she knows it too. one thing will lead to another. and i need to try to hold out for as long as possible, as much as its killing me. as paige pulls away she leaves a kiss on my cheek and mumbles, “i’ll see you soon. get some sleep okay?” looking at me with questioning eyes and a raised eyebrow. god shes so cute. “okay.” i breathe out, reaching down to grab both of her hands. till she starts to back away, i find myself trying to hold onto the tips of her fingers for as long as possible as shes whispering goodbye and just like that her car is backing out of the driveway, and im standing under the porch light. alone. i know this scene all too well. we arent in highschool anymore, i have to remind myself, so i turn around and head inside before i overthink, again.

i parkеd my car right between the methodist and thе school that used to be ours

with playlists blasting in my ears, im unpacking my bags in my childhood room, tidying it up because my mom has turned it into her own personal closet while ive been gone, finding little knickknacks that meant everything to me as a kid. i stumble upon a hopkins basketball sweatshirt on my closet floor, i wonder who that belongs to? a cross on my wall from our communities church event. from the same church i went to every sunday that i would always find myself sitting next to paige at. and cleaning my bathroom i so luckily have attached to my bedroom, putting away my toiletries, opening a drawer that still has some of her things in it from when she would stay over almost every night, as im about to get in the shower before i finally try and get some sleep. thats when my music pauses to signify a ding of a notification. its paige. of course.

paige bueckers

U up?

read 2:13 am

thea 💚

nope

Alr 1 ur mean 2 I thought I told u to sleep

one you love me

two shouldnt u not be textin me then?

Damn u right on both tbh

But nah yk I cant leave u alone

read 2:17am

overthinking is my speciality, but am i doing that right now? because in all of our years of even just being friends we expressed our gratitude for one another, but since we’ve been whatever the fuck this is, flirt, hookup, ghost, paige has never even said the words “i like you” to me. we both know we care so deeply for one another, possibly more, but its complicated, our lives never worked out together that way, never overlapped, so we accepted the mutual heartbreak but kept pushing forward with this toxic cycle anyways because neither of us could bare not having the other in our life anymore. did she just admit that she loves me? nah. no fucking way. we say shit in playful tones like that all time. oh you love me this you love me that. but shes never admitted it back, not like that. what is going on. god its late, get out of your head thea. play it cool.

yeah ur lowkey annoying

highkey actually

Alr get out

U love me back dw ik

mm debatable 

Ouch

Wyd tmr

i dont know actually

my parents arent awake to make any plans with lol

Oh so I get u first

ok who said that??

You basically 😊

paige madison omg

Hey that reminds me

You change that contact name yet??

that rlly buggin you huh

Maybe

then i might just keep it

Thea istg

alr alr chill i will change it 😂

dorothea greene changed paige bueckers contact to 'paige 💜'

And I will pick u up at noon?

where tf did i agree to that?

Would you rather meet somewhere?

i dont see where i agreed to do anything with you

I want to see you

paige.

you just saw me not even an hour ago

I miss you

you cant possibly

How do you know that

You dont know I feel

I miss you

I miss you

okay will you shut up if i say yes

Um only if nice Thea shows up

okay sorry p 😂😂

Never be sorry

Sooooo I will pick you up tomorrow at noon?

you will pick me up tomorrow at noon.

Goodnight baby sleep well

Actually sleep please

read 2:35

that damn petname, nickname, wtv it is it fucking kills me and she probably has no idea. no she definitely knows and thats why she uses it. thank god she cant see my face right now because its full blown red, completely embarrassed post screaming my lungs out into my pillow.

i will

goodnight p

see u tmr.

i just snickered to myself after sending paige those last texts. almost shameful of myself. i dont know what im doing. or maybe i do? i think its safe to say my winter break is gonna go different than i planned, but the same way as it always was. whenever i dare to mix myself with paige bueckers and my hometown.

there will be a part two to this story to finish out the lyrics (in blue) to the song! which i will link once i have it up on my blog! - if i rlly like how this story is going atp i might make it into a full blown series incorporating other songs from the album 'evermore' but that is tbd.

reminder: my box is open for all requests ⋆˙⟡

[thrashkink-coven]

Im not even gonna waste my time pulling out research for this one because my last post addressed all of it.

Talking about the Bible without the context in which it was written is hilarious and ridiculous. You keep asking why I’m bringing up Jewish tests in reference to God’s ethical beliefs. Lmfao.

In order to answer question, does the Bible condemn abortion, does God condemn abortion, we need to understand the people who WROTE the Bible and who believed in that God. Humans wrote the Bible, humans had values and beliefs that they wrote into the Bible. Understanding the bible outside of its historical context (“who cares what Jews thought?!” WHAT????) makes absolutely no sense.

The Bible does not exist in isolation from its people. To understand what it says and what it meant you need to understand the people that wrote it, and the context in which it was written. Otherwise you lead to ridiculous conclusions like “premature death is different from miscarriage gotcha!”

Just to knock that last one off because idk how this somehow isn’t clear to you by now

“you failed to prove that God sees abortion as separate from murder”

Yknow what, you’re right, I didn’t. Because God doesn’t talk about abortion. I did prove that the causing of a miscarriage was not the same as murder though. Multiple times actually.

“A premature birth” in antiquity was a miscarriage. Like…. come on dude. We have to use common sense and logic as well when we make these interpretations. If the wife gives birth prematurely and there is no other injury, what do you think a premature death would have lead to? Why do you think translators chose the word miscarry? Because of some secret agenda? No, because it more accurately represented the intended meaning of the text. A premature baby in antiquity is 9.8/10 not going to survive. The baby was the property of the father, thus the fine. Lmfao like come on dude.

It makes no fucking sense for there to be a fine without a loss 🙏😭 I’m sorry but come on dude. I even expanded upon this in my second post. When you look at the Bible in its proper context and look at the laws of the people at the time, you can actually understand the Bible properly.

So we’ve established again, with the appropriate context, because that context is important, that a fetus is not regarded the same as its Mother, unless in cases of late term miscarriage. That’s not just my interpretation, the religions of Christianity and Judaism have been debating this for centuries. Priests and Rabbis who’ve dedicated far more time into analyzing the text than you and I have not come to a conclusion on this because the text simply is not conclusive on the subject and neither was the culture that wrote it. Oh sorry, but your personal interpretation is totally worth more than hundreds of years of theology and religious debate and study. My bad. You’ve totally figured out what the priests and scholars of the past have not. Well done.

saying that “OBVIOUSLY abortion is murder so obviously it didn’t need to be mentioned!!” is to imply that a fully formed person is nothing more than a clump of cells. In my opinion, that’s semantics lmfao. A fetus and embryo is as much person as dough is bread. And you and I can disagree on that forever because the Bible does not clearly explain when a fetus becomes a person anyways. All conclusions about this topic are speculation.

and??? to say that the beliefs of the church are irrelevant??? what??? 😭

The institutions that are devoted to serving God are not a reliable source of it’s interpretations and regard throughout history? The followers of God…. do not… lead… to God???? Wh….

what are they following ?

“History is wrong, the people were wrong, but me, I know what God REALLY thinks.”

ok buddy.

most frustrating thing I’ve learned recently as i continue to read the bible

yeah so the bible literally never, at any point condemns abortion. Jesus never condemned abortion. In fact :) the bible actually provides instructions on how to properly have one. seriously. Look into it. Christianity takes its ethical base from Judaism, and Judaism says that you're not a person with a soul until you draw your first breath.

so :)

hahaha :) there’s literally no reason :) why Christians want to deny women and afab people healthcare :) besides the obvious, to control our bodies.

like :) there’s literally no reason :))

guys 🙏 absolutely NO scripture. :) condemning abortion even once. :)))))))

i’m about to lose my fucking MIND.

[kindaasrikal]

Cole and Nya’s relationship is very special to me, even despite the love triangle thing, which you could technically say helped develop their relationship. Especially with how it links to their mothers.

Cole and Nya are both familiar with loss, specifically in regard to their parents. They both lost a parent(s) at a young age, and quickly became independent because of it. They learnt how to survive on their own without depending too much on their only family left. They both care deeply for the ones they love and are sensitive to their emotions, and when they were left with only Lou/Kai as their only family, they didn’t want to rely on two people deep in grief and were deeply effected by that loss.

They both are stubborn and sure, protective and confident, but they are both also soft and kind underneath all their layers, Cole showing that more than Nya.

I like to think that while the whole love triangle thing and love machine fiasco was annoying, you could actually twist it to show how it developed their relationship. Jay is the one Nya loves, that is not something you can change or even disagree on, seeing as she was willing to lose everything that makes her her for him, but the perfect match machine doesn’t have time be explicitly based on romantic interest. The machine is essentially like a ‘soulmate finder’, so it’s easy to say that one of Nya’s soulmates are Cole.

Soulmates have been shown in many different ways, and in this case its not showing a soulmate in the sense of a ‘one true pair’ or someone who you are inexplicably tied too, but someone who understands and can click with you a whole lot easier than most.

That buddied up with the whole love triangle thing definitely helped Cole and Nya realise how similar they are to each other, and how they deeply care for each other as siblings. Almost like twin siblings if I’m being honest. They don’t give a younger and older sibling vibe thats for sure. More like two twins where one is an aggressive wild animal and the other is also a wild animal but they don’t have as much of a temper as the other weirdo.

My favourite scene of their relationship is in Dragons Rising where Nya hold her hands against Cole’s cheek after not seeing him for months upon months.

Now about their mothers….

Knowing all of this, connecting it to how they both see their mother in each other seems so much more special.

Cole and Maya have both said ‘Its how the cookie crumbles’, both in relation to Nya. After Nya was possessed by the overlord, Cole tries to comfort everyone by saying that line, implying how its just how things must be, the same way Maya has towards Nya specifically, telling her that life is difficult, no matter what we try. Nya doesn’t know they both have said this, but its still so important how its come in full circle towards her, from her beginning all the way to her supposed end.

And then you remember how both Nya and Lily have worn the same kimono. The same kimono Lily wore, and the one that Cole gave to Nya.

ITS THE EXACT SAME.

Cole willingly gave him dead mother’s kimono to Nya, his sister.

Nya and Cole were never supposed to be in a romantic relationship, they were both have such a strong platonic love for each other it hurts. They both have similar experiences and similar personalities yet still have their differences, but those differences aren’t as big as most people would’ve expected.

I love these two so much they so deeply care for each other im going to cry i hope they don’t die for Jay.

[atalana]

so i saw the wicked movie!

honestly considerably better than i would have expected from the trailers, it was clearly made with love and i do recommend seeing it if you're a fan of the stage show

but if there's one thing i'm a bit sad about, it's glinda's wardrobe colours

like. the costuming in this movie is amazing! and i have no criticisms about the design of glinda's outfits, they're really good!

but they're all pink

and i care a lot about the thought that went into the costuming of wicked (particularly how important blue is as a colour here), so for those unfamiliar with her original outfits, lets go on a tour of them!

in chronological order for glinda, we start with the school uniform

notably not pink, but white. blue and white are shiz's colours, so she's not actually breaking any uniform rules (this will be important later), but she does want to stand out. this also contrasts elphaba's entirely blue uniform (all the other students wear stripes), and the fact that every other elphie outfit is black, because they are and always will be diametrically opposed

she keeps this one through a lot of the first act, until around popular, which is when we get her actually pink dress! and this is glinda actually being honest for the first time, so it makes sense this is the most accurate to her personality dress she gets (and i did love the extremely dramatic dressing down she got in the movie here)

glinda in the emerald city gets a yellow dress and sunglasses! and honestly while there's not a lot of symbolism in this one it is strange seeing defying gravity not involve the yellow dress (and also i think it would have made that yellow brick road bit have more weight but you know)

now here's where i say that thing about the white will be important later. defying gravity is the act break and the timeskip. and now it's important to note - every single outfit glinda wears in act 2 is blue

and i think for her the blue represents the status quo. she was never an outright rebel in act 1, as we see with her uniform, but she did want to make her personality and choices known, she wanted to forge ahead with something. it's defying gravity where she definitively makes that choice to conform, to pick up that colour she originally had left behind, and to work for power within the system instead of defying the system (elphaba, notably, wears all blue while at school but from one short day onwards always wears black, because that's a status quo she no longer cares to hold up)

act 2 opening with thank goodness, she's a little older, she's got more power, she's a community leader, and her outfit reflects that, in the most business look glinda could possibly have and still look like glinda (i do love this one just from a design standpoint)

her wedding dress isn't just blue but also has a lot of green in it, which is fun on multiple levels (because green is the colour of the wizard, and what madame morrible wears after the reveal they're working together on this, but also was elphaba's from the start)

and her last outfit is also her first outfit, but i told these in order of glinda's life not the song order, because this is the pinnacle of who she's become. this is her dress right at the start before the flashback, and then for for good and finale

it's enormous, it's princessy, it mirrors the dress from the original wizard of oz movie, and it's blue. it's the combination of who she always has been and who she's decided to become. everything she always wanted to be, at the cost of everyone she cared about

and im so curious to see how the movie costuming goes for part 2

[foundfamily-connoisseur]

Perhaps it's an odd question but since you speak the language you'd know a lot more than I do. Does Don Flamenco speak with any particular accent or dialect outside of just general 'Spanish?' I know a lot of languages vary heavily in terms of things like pronunciation and certain word usage. Main reason I ask is because I saw someone discuss elsewhere how despite speaking French that Glass Joe is very obviously voiced by a Francophone Canadian because of the pronunciation and accent. It's something that fascinated me since I don't know the language enough to be able to make that kind of distinction, and now I'm curious if any of the other foreign opponents have that kind of accent that's obvious to an actual speaker but would go over the head of someone who isn't fluent

Took me a bit and had to ask my mom for some input since she's more knowledgeable about dialects than I am.

For sure the biggest thing was the accent. First sentence in and the big thing about Castilian Spanish is how they pronounce their s and z sounds respectively.

Like the phrase "has visto hombre?" In Spain Spanish, there's a bit of a lisp (varies from how noticeable it is, I'd say moreso if you speak Spanish predominantly) that is sounds more like "hash vishto hombre?"

He doesn't speak a lot of varied words where pronunciation distinctions are made, like 'corazon'(which he'd have pronounced as 'corathon'), and I'm not good at explaining i fear 😔

I think aside from the accent, the gotcha moment is for sure "me has pillado!" That's is for sure exclusively Castilian Spanish, as i haven't heard anyone (both family as Mexicans and friends from Panama, Columbia, and Puerto Rico, and Peru) use that word.

Some things aren't exactly exclusively used in one country or another (and we start getting into my personal preference) but more of a "this works, but would probably use a different word instead":

"Has visto, hombre?" This could work for other forms of Spanish, but id probably change it to "has visto, güey?" For Mex Spanish.

"Me llamen Don, Don Flamenco" This also works but I find it so weird to say. I'd just change "llamen" to "dicen", although ma reports either works and comes down to personal preference.

So yeah he's very much a Spaniard if his looks weren't enough, but from what I've seen Don Flamencos va is from Spain and does a lot of Spain Spanish dubs, so they got him down pretty good.

Bonus: 'Don' is a Spanish Title and was usually reserved for nobility, but nowadays is more relaxed and used as a more polite title for someone you aren't exactly in familiar terms with, but are friendly/cordial nonetheless. It's sort of like an honorific similar to Sir or Mam, but used with the forename instead of the surname. I've seen it used more in Mexico(It's used more for older folks who can teeter onto the elderly, so it's funny that Don Flamenco uses it since he's only 23 lmao, but im probably looking at it in a more modern/Mexican American context)

Uhhh yeah I don't think I ended up making sense because it's very much a "he just is man. Listen to that. Lil Spaniard boy. Cmon say "Traición" i won't laugh i promise" but it's as clear as day he's Spanish lol

[stealingpotatoes]

hands you all this cal to announce i’ve FINALLY finished fallen order (by which i mean i finally picked it up again after those couple hours i played a few months ago and then finished the whole game in 2 days lol)

[ganondoodle]

kind of expected that the ability breakdown wouldnt get that much traction (especially on twitter bc if it doesnt do well in the first few hours it might as well be dead) but what i didnt need to wake up to was looking at my twitter notifications and thinking there was a long comment on it at first but then i read it and it turned out to be some guy having dug up one of my old totk tweets where i talked about how zelda was treated-

and if a quote retweet with a thread attached already starts with "this entitled brat didnt understand that zelda was being a history nerd by being in the past and getting to experience it herself" with two screenshots attached of the end of totk with zelda staring at the cam all uwu (which has ??? to do with their point??) i dont even want to know what else was in that thread

if thats how the majority of the fandom is then im even less surprised that nintendy doesnt even have to try to write anything good :I

ah yes, i am a game nerd, and by putting me in a game where i stand around doing puppy dog eyes while being shoved around by NPCs is me being a game nerd OBVIOSULY

[aastarions]

i cannot believe that since i posted the last chapter of my zhongli multichap (in july 2022) right

ive gotten engaged

ive gotten married

AND

ive gotten pregnant 🧍🏼‍♀️

specifically pregnant with identical twins 🧍🏼‍♀️🧍🏼‍♀️

[oifaaa]

Everyone in Gotham in the PJO universe seesthrough the myst but just ignores it.

I'm not gonna lie I don't think the pjo and dc universe meld together that well when you remember the Greek gods do already exist in dc and play a really big role considering you know wonder woman and the other amazon's and on the pjo side of things I can't remember for sure but in son of Neptune I'm pretty sure they visit the amazon's and they're keeping men as slaves with collars

[motherforthefamicom]

okay fuck it actually heres a drawing from the other day

[healingheartdogs]

A lot of liberals use the words "liberal" and "leftist" interchangeably and then act like the world is ending and lose their shit when an actual leftist says totally normal not even radical actual leftist things because they don't realize that liberals are actually right wing, including themselves.

[qualityrain]

i am thinking. about firefly wedding and being a tool v a person. rambling abt satoko and shinpei and throwing ideas at the wall. (some chapter 28 spoilers btw)

they are all tools to something. satoko being a tool to her family and shinpei and kotaro being a tool to her(albeit in slightly different ways).

initially satoko uses shinpei as a means to leave the island and shinpei uses her as a way to feel needed. this ofc changes over the course of the manga and theres alr this post abt how shinpei doesnt see satoko as an object considering the different reactions to her scar i think more obviously is the talk he has with her on the boat as they are leaving the island in chap 16 where he says i want to know more abt what kind of girl you are.

he wants to get to know her more as a person. understand her better. know why she is like this. what kind of girl is she. her likes?dislikes? and its mutual in chap 28

ever since chap 24 there is this explicit mutual commitment because this relationship isnt a short time thing on the island anymore. they’re stuck together now and its ok to have this mutual curiosity abt one another and they’re both able take the time to know more abt each other now. they’re not tools to each other anymore but somebody to have a long term relationship with

which makes me think abt kotaro. kotaro who brings satokos medicine and brings her favourite sweet. he learns these things abt her and obviously sees her as a person but encourages satoko being a tool to her family. its not his fault because its what satoko herself thinks she wants. i wonder if satoko knows kotaros likes and dislikes too. satokos whole dilemma of marriage for her family or for herself. does she want to be the tool or her own person. i think this is something shinpei(and kotaro) have to address in the future too since shinpei thinks of himself as a tool and it hasnt been addressed yet. lots of things to think abt and see what happens this year

[orcelito]

Ok. Real question. How many people Actually have believed in Santa? Bc I never did, mostly bc my dad never bothered with the entire pretense, so the whole concept is just. Really fucking strange to me

Putting an actual poll bc I feel like I'm losing my mind a bit thinking about how apparently widespread it is. Like. It's just so... weird? Why is this the thing people have popularized? It makes no sense.

[elftwink]

have to work on a project today and an unrelated thing happened that just made me so so so so so mad (just some irl personal stuff), which normally derails my entire day because i find it so hard to come out of the angry/upset state and tend to just circle back and obsess over whatever triggered it but! today after 20 minutes of that i had a council meeting about it (<- what i call my decision making process) the outcome of which was putting it aside (!!!) for later when i could actually talk about it and resolve it (!!!) & in the meantime we could just do other stuff.

local man exuberant and jubilated to achieve feats of basic emotional self-regulation and was seen excitedly telling reporters he "never thought this day would come" and began giving a thank you speech to nobody in particular. more on this story as it develops