#which means (at least for me) i can’t just break up fjorester like that

[quantummindclassicalheart]

like it’s the last time

A Widojest epilogue “missing scene” inspired by a comment from @cranesofibycus and some art from @belligerentbagel. It’s the night before Fjord and Jester leave Nicodranas, and the Nein are throwing a party. Everything should be great. Except Caleb’s been distant lately, and Jester wants to know why. 

Words: 2678

“A toast to Captain Fjord Tusktooth!” declares Beau, raising a glass. “May your skies be clear, may your seas be smooth, and may your ship not get wrecked by a giant fucking sea monster-- because seriously, we’ve met a few.”

“To Captain Tusktooth!” the revelers chorus. Fjord smiles broadly and raises his own glass in a little salute. He looks dashing in his captain’s coat, all buttons and epaulettes and flourishes, though his oversized tricorn is just unwieldy enough to keep him humble.

“And to Jester Lavorre, high priestess of the Traveler! I would tell Fjord to keep her safe, but I think we all know it’s going to be the other way around,” Beau jokes.

“To Jester!” On her part, Jester beams and gives a little curtsy. Tonight she’s opted for rich reds and purples for her own outfit, a flowy dress with white gloves and a fuzzy shoulder cape. Glasses and steins clink, drinks are had, and the musicians soon start up another boisterous tune. Before long the Lavish Chateau is filled with music and dancing and laughter.

It’s a bespoke party, planned exactly to Jester’s tastes. The banisters of the Chateau are draped with all manner of sparkly decorations that glint and shine in the warm orange light of the lanterns and sconces illuminating the room. There are countless exquisitely decorated cakes, pies, and pastries adorning the dessert table (which is, naturally, the largest of the food and refreshment tables), and the air is rich with the smells of nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves, and more. The band is playing some of Jester’s favorite redowas and waltzes, and it brings back her memories of dancing with her feet on her mama’s as a little girl.

Across the room, Marion is talking with Fjord about something or other (not about anything embarrassing, Jester hopes), and she looks beautiful as always in her deep blue evening gown and ornate gold jewelry. With the band’s latest song, Beau is showing off some sort of martial arts/breakdance fusion out on the dance floor while Yasha watches appreciatively, nodding her head to the music. Veth seems to have challenged Kingsley to a drinking game involving a deck of cards, and the pair are knocking back rounds of drinks (“Kingsley’s Cup,” they’re calling it). Caduceus, ever the responsible one, is munching thoughtfully on a small platter of crudités, a placid smile on his face.

Jester has every reason to be happy. It’s a great party, the perfect send-off, packed with food and friends and fun. Except… Caleb’s not here. On Jester’s last night in Nicodranas, Caleb Widogast is nowhere to be found. And Jester doesn’t understand why.

Caleb has been so busy lately. That’s what he said, anyway, just before disappearing for the last three days. He’s probably got lots to think about, she knows. But tonight is the party. Her party. And Caleb should be here. So why isn’t he?

Just then, Jester’s startled out of her musings when Beau taps her on the shoulder, drink in hand. “Oh hey, didn’t mean to scare you. You doing okay?” asks Beau.

“Uh huh,” says Jester unconvincingly. “I was just thinking about… stuff.”

“Ooookay. Right. Well, I just wanted to tell you this is a sick party. You really outdid yourself with the planning and everything.”

“Thanks!” chirps Jester. “I wanted it to feel really special, since this is the last time I might see everyone for a while.”

“Yeah, well, helluva job,” says Beau, patting Jester on the back with her free hand. “...you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah! Definitely! Everything is totally fine. I mean… it does kind of suck that Caleb couldn’t make it, but I know he’s been super busy these past few days.”

Beau sets down her drink on the bar, a puzzled look on her face. “Wait, what do you mean? I saw him at lunch earlier, and it didn’t seem like he was doing anything too important.”

“What? No, he told me--” Jester waves a finger in the air and attempts her best Zemnian accent. “Jester, I vill be very busy zis veek, and I vill not have much time to do ze hanging out.”

“...okay, that was pretty good,” laughs Beau. “But seriously, we were just talking today. Or, well. He kind of went off on some long tangent about modifying spells to make the enchantment last longer or some arcane shit like that. I think it’s based on dunamancy, maybe?”

“Huh,” says Jester.

“Anyway, Caleb’s definitely been around,” Beau says. “Which means…”

“...he’s been avoiding me, specifically,” finishes Jester.

“Well, it might not be you--”

“I kinda think it is, though? Why wouldn’t Caleb want to see me? He knows I’m going away,” says Jester. “I think I’ve gotta talk to him myself. Thanks, Beau.” And she hurries off before Beau can respond.

Away from the bustle and roar of the celebration, Jester finds a private room off to the side where she won’t be overheard, and then she Sends Caleb a message. “Hey, Caleb? Are you there? I haven’t seen you in a little while. Why aren’t you at my party? Where are you? We should talk.” The magic carries her words off into the aether, and in a moment there’s a familiar tingle at the back of her scalp telling her that the spell has found its target. She lets out a sigh of relief and waits for the response. And waits. And waits. Eventually the arcane tether fizzles out, with no reply. Frankly, this is rude and weird, even for Caleb.

Heading back to the party, Jester asks around a bit, but no one else has seen Caleb that evening, so finally she decides to take matters into her own hands. She walks to the door of the Lavish Chateau and faces out into the cool night air. With her left hand she clutches her symbol of the Traveler and whispers, “Arty? Can you help me find Caleb? I really need to talk to him.”

There’s a sudden gust of wind and a flicker of emerald green, and then a silky voice speaks into her ear. “Of course, my dear. You only need to ask.” And a thin gossamer thread the color of the Traveler’s cloak materializes before her, stretching off down the street.

Jester follows the thread swiftly along the winding cobbled streets of Nicodranas, past uplit homes and shuttered stores and late-night street vendors hawking their wares, away from the Opal Archways and down to where the Open Quay meets the waters of the Lucidian. It’s not long before she comes across a figure sitting at one of the docks, wrapped in a familiar brown coat. The ethereal green thread ends at his chest and vanishes into shimmers as she approaches.

She sits down beside him on the wooden dock, dangles her legs over the side and kicks them back and forth. She finally gets a good look at him, and man, Caleb looks terrible. He has dark circles under his eyes, and his beard is less charming scruffy and more scruffy scruffy. His posture is somehow worse than usual, if that’s even possible.

“You’ve been avoiding me, Caleb.” It’s not a question. Caleb doesn’t look up.

“I have been very busy--” he begins, but she cuts him off.

“Too busy to say a real goodbye?” asks Jester coolly. Caleb doesn’t respond, and that only irritates her more.

“You know, you’re being a real dick, Caleb. I haven’t seen you for days, and you totally ignored the message I sent you earlier. Fjord and I are leaving tomorrow on a ship where we could seriously get murdered by Uk’otoa or something and you can’t even be bothered to come to our fucking farewell party.” She knows the words are harsh. But she’s aching for him to show some emotion, and right now she doesn’t care if it’s affection or anger. Anything but indifference.

“I don’t understand,” says Jester, and her next words are laced with unexpected venom. “It’s like you don’t even care.” She regrets saying it as soon as the words are out of her mouth, but it’s too late. Upon hearing this, Caleb pounds the wood of the dock with his fist and looks her straight in the eye.

“What do you want me to say, Jester?” retorts Caleb, not breaking eye contact. “That I’ve been avoiding you because the very thought of you leaving hurts me more than I can bear? That I thought-- somehow-- it might be easier for the both of us if I just slipped away and made it so you wouldn’t have to think of me too much in these last few days? That you are about to embark on the life of excitement and adventure you’ve always dreamed of with a good man who can give it all to you, and I will never be a party to that?”

It’s Jester’s turn to be speechless. Caleb, who looks as though he’s shocked even himself with this sudden burst of vehemence, slouches over again and rubs his temples with his hands. The two of them sit in silence for a long while, the only sound coming from the waves crashing and rolling beneath them.

“For a smart person, you sure can be pretty dumb,” says Jester at last. “You really thought it would be better-- for me-- if one of my best friends in the whole world cut himself off entirely without a real explanation or a goodbye. That’s bullshit, Caleb, and you know it.”

“Fjord is a good man. He really loves me. And... I love him back. I think. This is all still new to me, to be totally honest,” she admits. “You know, the adventure stuff is super fun and all, but the best part was always the people I did it with. That’s why I’m going with him. This is important to him, and he’s important to me.”

She pauses. “You’re important to me too.” She rests her hand on his, and he looks back at her with those searching blue eyes. “I really missed you these last few days, and I’m going to miss you even more when I’m away.”

“I’m sorry,” Caleb murmurs. “I thought-- I was simply being selfish.”

“So be a little selfish,” says Jester. “I’m leaving on a boat tomorrow, and I don’t know when I’m coming back. If there’s something you have to say to me, you should say it now.”

And so he takes her hand in his (she lets him) and raises it to his lips. Jester is struck by a memory of her taking him by the hand and pulling him through a Dimension Door in the guts of a living city, she remembers the way his rough hand felt clasped around hers as he cast Teleportation Circle. Every touch spell comes rushing back, and it feels for a moment like he is casting another one now. The stubble of his beard grazes her hand as he kisses it, as deliberate and careful as his spellcraft.

He lifts his gaze to meet hers, his expression gentle and his eyes kind in the pale moonlight. Without faltering he says, "I love you, Jester Lavorre." The words hang in the air between them, and she looks back at him with hope and wonder and more than a hint of sadness.

"Oh, Caleb,” says Jester softly. “I know.” She wants to ask him if that’s all he wants to do, she is imagining his lips on her own and on her neck and her collarbone and more-- but she understands why he’s still holding back. He looks at her like he is trying to learn by heart the constellation of freckles that dapple her cheeks, as though he is trying to memorize the slant of her jaw and the curl of her horns and the way her bangs frame her face. 

He looks at her like it’s the last time. And she wants so badly to tell him that of course it’s not, that it won’t be long at all, but truthfully she doesn’t know for sure. Instead she just tries to capture this moment in her mind’s eye so that she can draw the two of them later, exactly as they are right now.

“You should… you should get back to your party,” Caleb says. “People will wonder where you’ve gone.”

“Oh, hang on,” says Jester, and her eyes glow with magic. “Hey Beau, found Caleb, he’s not dead. We’re-down-by-the-docks.” She counts the words out on her fingers. “Back-to-the-par-ty-soon. Uhhh… your hair smelled nice, is that a new--”

“That’s twenty-five,” Caleb announces.

“Shit.”

Beau’s response comes back to her promptly. “Hey Jester! Okay good, I’m glad Caleb’s not dead. See you in a bit. ...wait, is there a thing I’m supposed to press to end--” and it cuts off.

“Did she mention the hair?” says Caleb.

“She didn’t mention the hair.”

“Probably for the best,” he quips. And just like that they’re back to an easy banter, the comfortable back-and-forth of old friends. Jester breathlessly catches him up on all of the preparations they’ve been making over the past few days, stocking the ship’s caches and repairing the sails and plotting sea routes. She has already bought a new pirate-y outfit, because what even is the point of sailing the high seas if you don’t look the part?

Caleb tells her about a spell idea he’s been working on recently, shows her the initial notes in his spellbook as she does her best to follow along. He shares with her an introductory transmutation lesson plan he’s hoping to have Luc test out while they’re all together, methodically walks her through the mix of practical drills and lecture. Caleb seems genuinely happy, and it makes her glad to see him thinking about the future.

But it’s getting late, and also cold. Not that the latter bothers Jester, but she can see Caleb starting to shiver, even in his wool-lined brown coat. She unbuttons the fuzzy purple shoulder cape she’d worn to the party and drapes it around his shoulders gently. “Danke,” he says.

"Are we out of time?" Jester wonders aloud, and they both know she’s not talking about the party anymore.

“For what it’s worth, I have thought a lot about time and regrets,” Caleb says. “Regrets can eat up your soul if you let them. But… I think you have some great adventures still ahead of you, and a sturdy heart in your chest. Time is whatever you make it.”

“I’m… I think I have to see where this goes,” says Jester. “With Fjord and all.”

“I suppose that’s as it should be, then,” Caleb replies. “I want you to be happy, Jester. Whether that is with Fjord or me or both or neither, the most important part is that you are happy.” He says it with such conviction that she almost believes him.

“And, you know, you get to be happy too,” Jester points out. “Like, things seem to be heating up between you and Essek, huh?” She waggles her eyebrows suggestively.

Caleb chuckles. “Essek is very clever and he certainly has done us a good turn, but I think he still has quite a long ways to go. Perhaps with time.”

“Anyway,” he continues, “what with my new appointment at the Soltryce Academy, I have a lot of work ahead of me as well, so I really will be plenty busy in the days to come. So long as you send me a message once in a while, I will know you haven’t entirely forgotten poor old Caleb Widogast.”

"Caleb, listen to me. I will cast Sending to you every day for the rest of our lives if I have to," says Jester intently, and she shoots him a look so he knows she means it. "You're not getting rid of me that easy."

"Is that a threat, Lavorre?" says Caleb, raising an eyebrow.

She grins at him, her toothy smile full of mischief and mirth. "It's a promise."

[princessamericachavez]

Fuck it. Today I get to be self-indulgent and tell you about the entire Fjorester Hallmark Christmas Fanfic that is way too long for me to write these days but I have entirely laid down in my head so instead I’m going to write about it as a bulletpoint fic.... sort of... you’ll get the grasp. Just strap along for the ride. 

(This is obvious and shamelessly based on Tis The Damn Season by Taylor Swift, you can fight me. I said it was self-indulgent)

Okay, so first of all, the group are all friends and knew each other all through college, right? 

Jester studied psychology (she’s an emotional healer, you know?) and especialices in art therapy. 

Fjord did a marine biology major with an acting minor, because deep down he’s a theater nerd but doesn’t dare admit it because he needs to want a “real” career, you know? Also, he paid for his studies with a full swimming team scholarship. 

I legit don’t know what everyone else studied —this is the kinda stuff I would figure out while actually writing the fic— so you get to fill those blanks! 

ANYWAY, basically during college Jester had this art teacher, Artagan, who she became weirdly friendly with (you sometimes become friends with your college teachers, they aren’t even that much older than you and half the time are just as tired)

So this art teacher is delighted by her, right? Keeps telling her how talented an artist she is and how she should definitely come with him to LA after this year is over. He’ll get her into a gallery! She’ll be famous and amazing! 

So Jester goes. And her heart aches. And maybe leaving her mama is so damn hard. And maybe, maybe, she doesn’t want to say goodbye to Fjord but she’s been in love with him for so so so long and he never seemed to see her in that way, so she can’t put her life on pause for him. She can’t. Even if the night before she leaves it looks like he’s trying to tell her something, to half confess something that he never quite does say out loud and her heart falls and she leaves. 

ANYWAY here is where our story begins. 

Jester comes back for christmas after six months away and she is EXCITED to be home! 

(maybe a little too much, maybe things aren’t going as great in LA as she expected) (and mayyyybe she’s a little nervous to see a certain someone but it’s ok)

Fjord picks her up at the airport. He knows her mama doesn’t like going out much and he really, really, really insists that it’s no big deal. His car is old and shitty and there was an incident once that made Jester start calling it “The Ball Eater” to Fjord’s endless dismay (and bemusement). 

Anyway the ride home is light hearted, they make small talk and laugh about old times and Jester talks so much about how amazing everything in LA is but Fjord can’t shake the feeling that something about her, despite her smile, seems sad. 

He also can’t help the desire to hold her hand, or kiss her, or at the very least confess how uselessly in love he’s been with her for years, but she’s only here for like four days because she needs to go back to LA for her big New Years gallery show that Artagan put together and he can’t ask much from her without getting in the way of her dreams, so he doesn’t. 

So they get home and Marion is as delightful as ever and Jester finds out that Fjord has been helping her fix some things around the house (oh so you’re a very handy man, Fjord! *wiggles eyebrows*) and he’s been buying her groceries because he knows Jester used to do it because Marion is always so busy performing at the Chateau (and doing other things for her fancier clients, but Fjord would rather not bring that subject up too often) and he just thought it would be important for someone to look after her from time to time. 

Jester has to choke back tears because she is so moved that he is so wonderful with her mama even when she’s gone. Her heart flutters and it’s terrifying. 

So Fjord leaves and Jester and her mama spend the whole afternoon together, catching up and baking cupcakes and watching christmas movies until Marion has to go to work.

Meanwhile, Fjord is trying to figure out what to do with himself and with Jester —nothing, he decides, he shouldn’t really say anything— and keeps pacing around his apartment to the endless bemusement of his roomate. 

Caduceus was MEANT to go home for the holidays, but there was some kind of change of plans with his family at the last minute (or so he says, he hasn’t been very forthcoming about it and Fjord suspects they might have had an argument or something or maybe Cad just decided not to go home, but how is he supposed to know? He never knew the first thing about families) so now Caduceus is here and for the first time in his life Fjord is not spending Christmas alone. 

Caduceus suggests honesty is the best course of action, that he should just tell Jester how he feels. Yeah. Right. 

Anywayyy

Jester gets together with the rest of her friends “The Nein” they call each other, though they have never been nine, just to mess with people who keep asking and getting weirder and weirder answers. They get some drinks. 

While Fjord is away getting drinks, Beau mentions what a shitty year she’s had and Jester’s brow furrows and Beau says it was just a lot of shit, you know? Vandran just up and leaving town, handing in his thesis (though his tutor, Mrs. Melora was delightful and supportive). She doesn’t mention how depressed Fjord was over Jester leaving, though, but she does say that the cherry on top was his fucking ex showing up again. 

“Avantika came back?!”

Jester’s chest twists with the painful memory of jealousy and anger and worry over how unhealthy the whole thing was and how sick and sleepless and exhausted and sad Fjord seemed though the entire relationship before he finally gathered the courage to break things up. 

Veth knows that, so she brushes it off with a quick “it’s fine, he told her to go fuck herself” and Jester feels maybe a little better —even though she totally has no right because she and Fjord aren’t a thing and he can do whatever he wants ok? she totally doesn’t care, totally. 

Still, maybe, on the way back home she asks if he’s okay and she’s so worried and hesitant and Fjord just melts and assures her he’s alright, that he already knew when Avantika came back that she was not what he wanted, that he deserved more... that he wanted more... and he’s so earnest and breathless that Jester thinks he might really be in love with someone else, then... it doesn’t occur to her that all he can think about is kissing her in that moment, parked outside her mama’s house. 

The porch’s front light turns on, the moment passes, they say goodbye. 

Fjord comes over on the 24th to hang out. Apparently, Caduceus is a little bit more homesick than he is willing to admit and decided to unload all of his Cain Instincts on Fjord. Jester is delighted by the idea of Cad secretly being a prankster, but she lets Fjord hide out with her and her mama as they decorate the house (Marion didn’t have time to before between shifts) and make cookies and watch movies. 

And it’s so easy, so sweet and comfortable, that Jester can’t help but feel like this is what life is meant to be, she can’t help but fantasize about what things could have been like... 

Fjord finally asks what’s wrong. She tries to dodge the question first, assuring him she’s alright, but Fjord has known Jester long enough to figure out that something is weighing on her and he insists that she can tell him anything. 

Jester finally breaks and admits LA isn’t everything she dreamed. It’s pretty great, sure, and she got a job as an art therapist in a nearby clinic and the gallery is going to be great and fun but she feels so lonely, she’s tried to make new friends but everyone is too busy or stuck on their own road to success to really get to know them, she misses the Nein, she misses her mama, she misses her home and Fjord. Besides, Artagan has been so busy with planing the gallery (and all of the other cool artists he has been collecting to showcase there and she didn’t know about before) and he’s just not as focused on being her artistic mentor has before. It’s just a lot. 

And Fjord listens and nods and assures her that she’s brilliant and amazing and she will be alright, but she can always come back home if she wants (god, he wishes she would return). 

instead, Jester says he should come to LA because they used to talk about this, about both going there and trying their luck as artists. “You are such an amazing actor, Fjord!” She insists but Fjord is too anxious. Dreams don’t pay the bills. He can’t just drop everything just to follow a dream... just to follow her. 

It gets quiet after that. 

On the way out, Marion overhears that Fjord is planing to spend christmas alone with Cad on their apartment and insists they should come over for diner instead. 

Jester is delighted! It’s usually just her and her mama (who usually has to leave early because she works christmas night at the hotel) but now Cad and Fjord can come too! And the others should too! Beau and Yasha are here alone too and Veth can bring Yeza and Luke and Caleb will definitely want to spend it here instead of the library right?

So the Nein end up all invited to Jester’s christmas party. 

Which, of course, means they HAVE to do a secret santa. 

Jester gets Caleb, so she enlists Veth and Beau to go shopping for his gift to make it extra especial. 

While they are out doing chores, Caleb texts Jester and asks if he could talk to her later that afternoon. She wonders out loud why that would be and Veth blurts out: “he’s probably finally gonna tell you he’s in love with you” 

And Jester would brush it off with a flirty joke if it wasn’t by the way Beau slaps the back of Veth’s head and tells her “you said you wouldn’t tell on him!” 

So Jester is shocked and confused and thrown off balance because she never even considered Caleb like that. Does Caleb like her? Is he in love with her? Is she supposed to know that? To like him back? Oh no, he’s going to tell her this afternoon isn’t he? 

And she has to give him a christmas gift for the secret santa!

Caos and overthinking ensue and finally Jester buys Caleb a big thick book he’d been eyeing for a while but that he’d deemed too expensive to get and a very long scarf with lots of tiny cats and there’s nothing romantic about it but she’s still worried about it. 

So, either way, Caleb and Jester meet up for a late coffee (Caleb is basically immune to caffeine at this point so it’s fine and Jester only drinks hot coco so it’s alright). 

And Jester jumps the gun, she goes on and on and on about how she had no idea and she’s so sorry and she’s not sure about how to feel with this but she doesn’t want to hurt Caleb because he’s such a good friend and she really does care about him a lot but-

Caleb cuts her off with a laugh. He already knew she’s not in love with him, which is why he never brought the subject up. He’s fine, he’s moved on. 

Oh?

Actually, he wanted to talk with her because he is seeing someone else (ESSEK) and he wanted to know if it would be alright to bring him over for christmas tomorrow. He thinks he’s ready to introduce them to his friends and a party seems like a good idea. 

Jester is delighted again and assures him he totally can come and not to worry about the extra space or work or food because Caduceus and Fjord promised to come help her prepare everything for the party. 

She grabs his hands and assures him with a bright smile that she’s incredibly happy for him and hopes this is the good kinda love that makes him feel warm and fuzzy and smile. And Caleb blushes and nods and mumbles that maybe it is. 

CUT TO: Fjord is totally accidentally watching this from outside the coffeeshop because he was out buying gifts too (for his secret friend, Beau, a dope set of weights... and for Jester, a tiny unicorn that he just saw and had to get for her because he knew it would make her so happy). 

Either way, as you can imagine, what Fjord sees is easily misunderstood. 

Cue: heartbreak. 

Which gets us to christmas morning filled with excitement and presents and hugs. 

Fjord and Caduceus come over to help the Lavorre women cook (Fjord feels a little responsible over turning their little yearly diner into a fully blown party because he mentioned they were spending it alone at home). 

And Fjord is sad. He isn’t angry, or rude, or jealous... okay, maybe a little jealous, but mostly he’s just heart-broken and Jester can tell something is off, but Fjord makes an effort to smile and pretend like everything is fine and –wow, whoever he is in love with (that person he said he now new he wanted) might have broken his heart and Jester is so confused and at a lost. 

Anyway, it’s Caduceus who finally has enough of the mopping around and pulls Fjord aside to figure out what’s wrong and Fjord just blurts everything out: Jester and the feelings and the almost kiss in his car and the hanging out and the stupid little unicorn he has back at home and now doesn’t dare give her and Jester holding Caleb’s hands and how stupid he feels and how he had no right to feel that way anyway...

Cad lets him ramble and in the end just sighs and puts a hand on his shoulder and says: you should give her the gift. Did you get it so she would love you? Did you get it to get something in return? 

No, Fjord says, he just wanted to make her happy. 

Well, it will still make her happy, right? Isn’t that what you want?

And Fjord nods despite the hurt and Cad thinks he is so clever because of course he knows that Jester is in love with Fjord and that Caleb has moved on but he figures his roommate needs to figure it out himself this time. 

And so, the party comes. 

They do the secret santa early, because everyone is too chaotic and excited to wait to figure out what gifts they will get and they all want their friends to see the awesome gifts they got them already. 

Fjord nearly bites through his cheek while he sees Jester give Caleb her secret santa gift. 

Yasha gives Jester a beautiful dress, dark but artistic, that everyone insists she must try on and model for them at once because the world really hates Fjord and wants to make him blush and squirm as much as possible over the girl of his dreams. 

Caduceus gets Fjord an amazing movie collection with all the western classics he loves and it’s probably one of the nicest gifts he’s ever gotten. 

The tiny unicorn weights like a fucking ton inside Fjord’s pocket through most of the night. He convinces himself that he can’t give it to Jester, it would be overstepping. If she loves someone else, he needs to respect that. 

And then Essek shows up, and Fjord understands many things at once, and he’s so stupid he wants to laugh and hit himself at the same time. 

And yeah, just because Jester isn’t in love with someone else it doesn’t mean that she will like him now... of course not... but he feels a little bit less like a terrible friend and person for wanting her to. 

He pulls her out to the porch with some dumb excuse and after a lot of awkward small talk he finally brings out the tiny unicorn. 

Jester is delighted. What? Why? When? And Fjord just tells her the truth, that he saw it and thought of her and how happy it would make her and he had to... 

So Jester kisses his cheek and he blushes furiously and just as the moment is about to die down Veth shouts from inside that someone hid a lot of mistletoe around the house and that she is not kissing any of her friends thank you very much. 

So the two of them look up just in time to see GUESS WHAT hanging over their heads. Because of course. 

Blushing. Awkwardness. I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t- I mean if you- I mean I do- Do you? Yeah. Wait. Really? I mean, do you want to? Y-yes! 

They kiss. 

And it’s quick and shy and not really a big romantic kiss, barely a peck between two friends terrified of fucking everything up. 

The night goes on and neither of them can stop thinking about it... but other than that, it’s just a fun party. 

Fjord doesn’t sleep much, he’s up early and pacing around the house until he decides he needs to try that again. Just once more. One more kiss. And maybe then... and, yes, she will leave, but maybe one more kiss wouldn’t be so terrible before that?

So Fjord runs. He runs over to her home, heart in his throat. 

He knocks on the door, rushed and breathless... and finds Marion looking sad. 

Jester got a call that very morning saying Artagan needed her ASAP back in LA because the gallery is apparently a mess and he needs her help to organize the big night. 

Fjord does his best to cheer Marion up but he also knows, he knows, how upset Jester must have been to lose the last few days home. 

Meanwhile, Jester is doing her best to help Artagan (after finding out her mentor might be an amazingly talented artist but a terrible event organizer) and basically runs herself thin, going crazy and barely sleeping for a couple days. 

Two days before the big exhibit everything is still a mess and it’s too much for her to handle alone... and then the Nein arrive. 

What are you doing here? What is going on? How are you here? 

And they just shrug and smile and say they missed her and ‘hey, do you need a little help with that?’ and before she knows it everyone is helping her up and putting together everything that’d been falling apart. 

Beau basically intimidates the catering service into actually delivering on time by reviewing their contract and finding how much money they could lose if they don’t. Yasha, turns out, has a fantastic eye for art and helps pick where and how each piece should be hanged. Veth goes nuts with the decoration, making it way fancier than anyone expected this little art show to be —she demands black tie for everyone who is coming, too. Caleb and Essek result amazing with lights and music and manage got connect the whole audio system by some sort of magical miracle because it hasn’t worked properly since the 8s. Caduceus and Fjord offer to serve drinks when the barman calls in sick. 

In the end, after a few hectic days, it all works out. 

Jester finds out from Beau that Fjord basically knocked on their doors as soon as he found out she had to come back and talked everyone into coming and drove all the way here in his cheap shitty Ball Eater car (it broke down halfway through and Fjord and Caleb had to fix it themselves which is also why it took them two whole days to get to LA). 

The night of the gallery everything is perfect and beautiful and Jester could cry because she has the best friends in the world —but, really, she could cry because she’s missed them so much and having them here with her has made LA seem like a true city of stars again. 

And so, she takes a moment in between smiling and shaking hands and posing for pictures with Artagan (who is sort of taking all the credit for their work but it’s alright because he’s already hooked her and two others up with a bunch of interested agents and it seems like he really just wants to help this small artists have their big break) and Jester steps outside to take some air. 

Fjord follows. 

And she starts to thank him, earnestly, for all his help and support and she has no idea how she could’ve done any of this without them —without him. She can’t believe he followed her all the way here (as if Fjord has done anything else since the day they met on their college’s induction day... he always follows her)

Fjord, a little coyly, says that he could pay her back by lending him a couch while he looks for a place... and that’s how Jester finds out Fjord’s moving to the city to try and pursue acting. 

“Job hunting wasn’t going too well either, so I figured I might as well give my dreams a chance... I would also really like to be closer to you,” he admits, in a moment of boldness. 

And Jester understands. Finally. She sees what she was too afraid of admitting to herself out of fear of heartbreak and disappointment. 

“I can lend you a couch,” she smiles, playfully, “but it will cost you... a movie, maybe diner later” 

And his eyes sparkle as he steps closer and says, “I think I can manage that” and he asks if he can kiss her, following a hunch, and she nods. 

Just as everyone shouts HAPPY NEW YEAR inside the building. 

THE END

ok that’s all, i cannot bring myself to actually write this multichapter, but I hope anyone who is still here after ALL THAT enjoyed the ride. 

Happy holidays!! 

[cadaceus]

C2E141

One last time, y’all. This campaign and these characters have meant so much to me, and this seven hour finale was definitely an emotional rollercoaster. (Yes, I shed actual tears at one point, which rarely happens to me with media. But this is a special occasion.) These liveblogs are nearly as long as the episode itself, so grab a snack! With that being said, here are my very last liveblogs for Campaign 2 of Critical Role. As always, major spoilers below, so beware. 

- Veth taking a level in Wizard, god I am really gonna cry ten minutes into this thing...  😭

- We got our first “stay with us” to Essek, I am emo...

- I was fully not expecting to say goodbye to Frumpkin, but now I’m on the verge of tears... farewell dear fey friend (Marisha saying “that wasn’t supposed to be what broke me” me too me too)

- “You’re a good person.” “I could be.” “You are.”

- “I think you’re a good person” I never thought that I’d hear Beau say that about Essek and this genuinely might be what breaks me... she thinks he’s a good person.... redemption is possible.... maybe love is real....

- If I end up crying over wizards, look away

- Jester lifting up Fjord’s arm to snuggle beneath it made me say “awww” out loud  🥺

- VETH GOING FOR A DIP IN THE POND, I AM GENUINELY SO PROUD OF HER

- “Aahhh!! It’s me! Your wife!” I am going to miss Jester’s sending so much

- Okay that accent bit was so funny, I am going to miss all of them so much

- REAL MOLLY IS BACK REAL MOLLY IS BACK REAL MOLLY IS BACK

- Oh but he doesn’t remember them... and Yasha is trying so hard to help him remember, it’s so so sweet 

- Something about the way he said “Tealeaf’s nice” made me tear up... I was neutral on Mollymauk early campaign because I went into things knowing that he passed away, but this whole conversation with the Mighty Nein is So Much. Also “Kingsley Tealeaf” 

- “Everyone should have a brother” as someone with three of them, I vouch for this  🥺

- a) I love Marion Lavorre (and Jester ofc!) so very much and b) I can’t believe that Jester’s parent trap actually worked??

- “I do not think Exandria is ready for how you’re going to change it” got to me... and it’s also so true. jester has already changed the world just by being kind.

- Good bye Marion... I love and will miss you so much! (And many thanks to Laura and Matt for creating an agoraphic single mother who raised a wonderful child <3)

- Beau and Jester teasing Marion for having a complicated relationship with Babenon reminds me of Caleb saying he has a complicated relationship with Essek...

- LEAVE CALEB ALON E FUOIKJLKGKNL 

- THIS IS ....... SO MUCH WORSE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

- Caleb’s biggest trauma(s) coming back to haunt him, I am genuinely going to cry I’m not ready for this I’m not okay

- Beau saying to Jester “Thanks, cutie” I love themmmmm

- INITIATIVE AAGJASKHDKJ AAAAAHHHH

- Essek’s Gravity Sinkhole did nothing? uhhhhh Mr Stark...

- EADWULF???? HELLO?????

- Essek using his entire turn to save Caleb last battle 🤝 Caleb using his entire turn to save Essek this battle

- ASTRID???? I TRUSTED YOU??? WE ALL TRUSTED YOU????

- Another Counterspell chain sdfdghjkdl wizards !!!

- “It’s just business” is literally the Neutral Evil line, it always gives me chills when any character says it

- This hurts more after Liam confirming on Twitter that Astrid/Caleb/Eadwulf were all three a romantic item... please stop hurting Caleb, you loved him  😭

- THE FJORD VS EADWULF SWORD FIGHT IS SO CINEMATIC I LOVE IT HERE ACTUALLY

- Essek taking every opportunity to pull Caleb to safety makes me so emotional...  😭

- “You’re not the first student I’ve had to put down” I am burning with my anger for you, old man 

- THE DISPEL WORKED LET’S GO CALEB.....

- Remember when Matt said that Essek doesn’t openly show concern/emotion? And now he’s saying “I’m scared” in front of his closest friends and his worst enemies.... growth my love.....

- BEAU AND VETH LETS GO CHAOS CREW LETS MF GO BABEYYYY!!!

- FJORD COUNTERSPELLING THE DIMENSION DOOR..... and Matt having him describe it.... is this taking the place of a “HDYWTDT” *eyes emoji*

- CALEB GOING DOWN NO, THANK GOD FOR THAT DEATH WARD

- Veth’s illusion of Caleb’s parents flanking Caleb in the flames.... that got me too, Liam

- “Stay down.” yeah, okay, that was sexy

- ASTRID BEING THE ONE TO ACTIVATE THE COLLAR IS LITERALLY POETIC JUSTICE... Trent being beaten by the student who stuck with him longest I love this so much, she deserved that moment honestly

- Break Time, AKA Emma Makes Her Weekly Mug Brownie Interlude

- Sometimes I feel like “death is too good for you” is a copout, but in this case it fits so well, I want this mf’s reputation destroyed and the entire operation exposed and overthrown let’s goooo

- “I loved you both so much”.... Astrid and Eadwulf walking away.... oh, Blumendrei... I know this is not the end of your story. What’s past is prologue, loves

- The Empire Siblings are gonna burn down the whole system because it’s the system that enables individual corruption... I am so fulfilled by this, god i love them

- “I love you too” OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, FJORESTER ARE THE CUTEST FOR REAL

- Jester and Essek’s friendship still means so much to me btw just in case anyone wanted a check-in

- Veth giving the flask to Kingsley!! Good for her, good for her!

- OH Blumenduo are back already! I truly thought that was going to be their last appearance of the Campaign, why is this taking me more by surprise than Trent’s appearance

- “[Caleb] notes how similar Eadwulf and Fjord are” this is Widofjord adjacent... this episode we have gotten Widomauk-adjacent, Widojest-adjacent, and Widofjord-adjacent (and Blumentrio ofc), now come through Shadowgast and we can get a full Bingo on the “Bisexual Maelstrom” card

- Speaking of relationships, I am lowkey into the Fjord/Jester/Kingsley dynamic LOL no one look at me I’m in hiding

- I’M NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE TO VETH AND CAD 😭 It makes sense and the fact that they have their families back is beautiful but also consider this: I’m sad and I will miss them 

- The goodbyes to Caduceus..... I am going to cry aren’t I?

- “If he’s anything like his mom, you won’t see him until it’s too late” Okay that made me giggle, I love Veth and I love Luc and I love their little family

- IS ESSEK LEAVING TOO? THAT’S GONNA BE WHAT BREAKS ME ISN’T IT

- If Essek leaves and we never see him again, getting a triple whammy of goodbyes I will be so incredibly sad, I cannot do this  😭

- If anyone is interested, no I am not doing well

- I was lowkey ready to get an Essek’s feelings for Caleb confirmation tonight, I guess it makes sense that we didn’t but I hope that this is not the last time we see Essek... I want to write another emo post about him and about how much he means to me but I will refrain

- CALEB BEING A TEACHER IS THE ENDGAME I WANT FOR HIM PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

- Wow, I really was not ready to see Caduceus and Essek go for some reason... I really wanted this Campaign to end on the image of the Mighty Nein together as all nine of them... I’m feeling so numb right now having to say goodbye  😭

- Oh, we’re in the epilogue now!

- When Fjord said “[the sea] is my favorite place to be” I genuinely felt that on a spiritual level... the ocean is home, it truly is and always will be for me as well

- “I CAST MODIFY MEMORY” FJORD LMAOOOOOOO

- Okay, that Widobrave ending is what made me shed tears for the first time this episode... not to be Personal but my biological brother graduates High School tomorrow, and for some reason this conversation just reminded me so much of me and him and now I’m emotional

- NOT THE SYPHILIS BANDITS DSYUHDFJKLSFJ;DS OKAY I NEEDED THAT LAUGH

- “I’d like to hear about your friend” Kingsley aww

- Beau giving Kingsley her first diary to help him realize who they all are is actually so perfectly fitting, I love that!

- “The other eight and I, yes” Caleb counting all nine of them again  😭

- CALEB BEING OFFERED AN ASSEMBLY SEAT WTF AAAHHH

- Oh shit, Astrid took the Assembly seat... I’m not sure how I feel about this, I feel so bad for her for having to stay in the system that abused her for so long and I would have loved to see her burn the whole thing down, but I hope that she at least has a sense of contentment with this title

- “I go where you go, baby” Beauyasha.... my darling loves....

- Beau’s dad??? But also Beau being the one with power over her father is so Good, I’m glad that she got justice on that front as well!

- This talk with Artagan... “I didn’t want you to be a god. I wanted you to be my friend.” and in the process my love you created divinity... maybe divinity is the friends we made along the way

- OH SHIT WE ARE GETTING ALL THE VANDRAN LORE TONIGHT I’M READY LET’S GO LET’S GO

- VANDRAN AND AVANTIKA WERE AN ITEM???

- Wait crack theory: Sabian was a half elf right? Could he be the son of Vandren and Avantika? Or is that too much of a stretch? 

- Vandran going with them!!! Also I feel like that moment between Fjord and Vandran was lowkey a tease to a post-campain Uk’otoa one shot and I am ready for it already 

- THIS BEAUYASHA MOMENT... “i’ve never known anyone as deeply as i know you” & “explore every bit of you in multiple ways ;)” & “your past doesn’t scare me, it only makes you beautiful” .... this is so much they are so much i love them so much

- “I will have you and then some” Beauyasha   😭

- I’m torn between “oh my god there’s still half an hour left?” and “how is there only half an hour left??”

- “You will let this Skyspear live at least?” oh my god so Yasha killed the last Skyspear then? Oof...

- YASHA GIVING ZUALA(’S GRAVE) THE BOOK OF FLOWERS, OH DEAR HEART

- And Beau’s talk to Zuala about being the luckiest woman alive and sacrifice.... 😭  

- PLANTING FLOWERS AT ZUALA’S GRAVE... “NO BETTER GRAVE MARKER” THIS IS MAKING ME SO EMOTIONAL, I KNOW I’VE SAID THIS A LOT THIS EPISODE BUT THIS TRULY IS SO BEAUTIFUL

- So... I may or may not be crying again

- Shadowgast with a steel chair??

- Caleb’s plan for saving his parents... it’s clear he has thought of this so much, oh my darling love  😭

- Caleb burning down his chance to change his past is so symbolic and something he really needed to do, it does make me emotional though

- The other book was him writing to his parents?? Oh bby boy  😭  

- While I would have loved for Caleb to open his own magic school (especially with Essek, or the Mighty Nein, or someone else as well), I am so pleased that he stays with Veth and that their friendship continues for the rest of their life because again: they mean so so much to me, and in a way they remind me of me and my biological brother (which I never realized before this episode) and yeah. They just make me Emo

- Also. Caleb being a professor was my Number One Endgame Hope for him and the fact that it came true is just so surreal in the best way possible. I’m so used to being robbed of happy endings. The fact that the Mighty Nein all got theirs makes me incredibly happy. A story does not have to be sad to be impactful. Happy stories and happy endings, especially during a time period of tumultuous real life circumstances, have just as much value and meaning and they always will. Caleb is teaching the next generation magic, and he is teaching them to be Good, and he is nurturing them, and that just means so much

- MATT CRYING IS GONNA GET TO ME

- “Let’s do it again” Please, let’s.

- Okay, everyone. I made it all seven hours in one piece with surprisingly minimal tears (though who knows, this might all sink in tomorrow.) I already wrote my thoughts earlier today about how much the Mighty Nein mean to me and how much this show and these characters have kept me holding on during quarantine and today... I’m still not ready to let them go, but I know that I can always revisit to say hello and to say thank you for changing me. Until then though... I love you all more than you could ever know. And for the last time of Campaign 2... is it Thursday yet?

Good night 💗

[whatkindofnameisella]

ha. okay. i know i said i was leaving. but i have been having some thoughts i wanted to share.

i’ve been thinking a lot about what led me to a place of such intense disappointment with ep 118. i think a lot of widojests have been asking themselves the same thing - how did i stack the odds so against myself? how did i get my expectations to such a high place? and for me, at least, the more i think about it, the more i realize my mistake was in thinking of cr as a story.

i mean. no matter how you look at it, you have to admit that from a storytelling standpoint, fjorester is.... strange. a bit nonsensical. a bit tone deaf to the themes of the characters. it’s just kinda poor storytelling. in my opinion. in what world do writers create a world and storyline and characters like c2 and then pick........ uh......... that......... as their romantic plotline? in what world is the damsel’s story about learning that life and romance is not like a book and that embracing her individual identity and strength is something to be celebrated, and then her love interest the guy she met at the beginning of the story who she crushed over and was rejected and ignored by for months, only to be suddenly approached again in a romantic sense for maybe a month? a few weeks? before getting together with him? over the other figure in her life who has been consistently supplying emotional support and encouraging those elements of beauty in individuality that is not pretty or clean, stepping in when the crush wasn’t there and expecting nothing in return? i mean? in today’s landscape? objectively a dissatisfying storytelling choice.

but when you look at it from a gameplay standpoint, it becomes fun. it becomes “aw the husband and wife get to rp a romance together, how cute”. it’s the fun option you pick because screw it, you like it and it’s fun to pursue this romance, it doesn’t have to make sense, it’s a game.

there is nothing fundamentally wrong with it, either way, but one is a fun game with plot and one is a..... mediocre story at best. realistically, a dissatisfying and disappointing one.

and the issue with cr is that the line between story and game is so often blurred. and, you know what, well deserved, because it often does do both. the cast refer to what they do as storytelling pretty often. but the thing is, they’re not really creating a full story, per se. they’re creating an improvised permanent first draft. that’s not the same thing as a story. a story is revised over and over again, looked at from different perspectives, rethought and redone until the ideas are best conveyed. a first draft is the thing that has all of the clunky bits, the mistakes, the things that in revision you look back on and think “wait, with the things i’m trying to convey, that doesn’t make sense, actually. let me do that again.”

cr can’t do that. what they do is what they do. now, there is a really interesting element to that, where if there is something that’s maybe not quite right they have to build from that in order to get what they wanted from that moment. it makes it more like real life. and i think that’s interesting. but it is also endlessly frustrating - how many conversations have i wished had happened? how many dynamics do i feel like are wasted and unexplored? how many plot points are expanded or sped through in unsatisfying ways? in a dnd game those things don’t matter as much. in a story, they do.

i mean, i would be really excited to see where the story would go if i thought that those elements of having to build from dissatisfactory decisions would lead to explorations of the areas where fjord and jester clash with each other. what happens when he wants to spend the rest of his life at sea? what happens when jester stays close with artagan her whole life? what happens when jester wants to be independent and fjord’s first instinct is to protect, not support her? what happens when she wants to be treated like the adult she is and he continues to see her as unpredictable and childish and innocent? if they actually confronted those things i might actually enjoy this development. it would highlight all of the most interesting things about their character arcs and force them to develop in interesting ways.

but uh. i kinda doubt it? and that sucks. i really want to believe that confrontation of those elements could be possible, but the general consensus that ive gotten through internet osmosis seems to be that the cast are happy about this development and parts of the fandom that are also happy feel like those of us who don’t like it need to just suck it up and deal with it, because this is what we’ve got. that doesn’t really scream, “this story is a living thing that could change and is willing to explore the not good things about this relationship that could and probably would break it” to me.

and so, i guess i got invested in cr as a story, not as a game. which was bound to bring me to disappointment some day. you can’t get a perfect story from an improvised first draft. but after everything that this show has done amazingly, it’s just. so disappointing. ugh.

[princessamericachavez]

Little Fjorester things from ep 115

I KNOW THEY WERE LITTLE BUT LET ME ENJOY THE CRUMBS WE GET BECAUSE THEY ARE STILL ADORABLE LIKE PLS:

Jester giving Fjord her sketchbook?

Like, that’s basically her diary and the way she worship(ed) the traveler and there’s probably so many personal things in there

AND YOU’RE TELLING ME IT’S IN HIS POSSESSION RIGHT NOW?

He said he shoved it into his pocket after Daggen’s awful sketch but like

will Travis remember he has it?? (probably not)

Did he see anything as he passed the pages to find a blank page? (yes pls lemme dream) 

JUST LOOK AT THEM

It’s like she’s giving him a little piece of herself and he’s so happy to accept it, I’m-

“What if they turn into turtles or something?? Fjord, that would be your nightmare!” 

LMFAO THE BANTER I CAN’T DJAFÑAJD

“Some creatures hunt for sport here.”

Jester: “The animals?”

Fjord (softly): “I don’t think he’s talking about animals.”

LOOK AT HIS FACE HE’S SO SOOOOOOFT

Jester: “Oh... the monsters. Right.”

“What if it starts like just a physical thing but then slowly over the week’s that you’re guiding them you start to realize, like, ‘oh my gos, I think I might t have feelings for them but I can’t let them know because there’s an unwritten code’ and it gets awkward and then the long glances”

[...] “And then you have to pretend, you have to pretend for the rest of your life that it didn’t mean anything!”

YEAH

YOU KNOW WHAT

YOU KNOW WHAT LAURA BAILEY

YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO COME FOR ME (and your hubby) LIKE THAT

okay okay okay moving on

listen 

THE SCRY

like the way he starts all casual and curious fjord because that’s how he usually is and trying to be all coy about it but then Matt Mercer blesses us by specifying it’s only a couple feet away from Jester

And you can see the moment it CLICKS’s for Fjord that this orb is scrying on Jester

AND DAMN FJORD JUST FREEZES LIKE THIS FOR A SOLID FIVE SECONDS 

AND JUST GIVES A LITTLE ‘HMM’ AND THE SMALLEST NOD

AS HE REALIZES

DLKFJAÑDKLFJA

FJORD GOING INTO PROTECTIVE MODE YESSSSSS

And That’s when he actually walks straight to the thing, still pretending not to see it

and he steps next to it and does this sharp breath as he turns to look at Jester

Right before he drops that bomb 

“It seems like we’re not the only ones watching. If you try to hurt my friends I will hunt you down to the ends of the earth. Keep. Your. Distance.”

I’M SO SAD THAT LUCIEN PROBABLY DIDN’T HEAR THAT 

LISTEN

MATT

PLS JUST BEND THE RULES FOR ME

GIVE IT TO ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

still *breaths in and out* okay it’s fine because he still said that, still meant it, so it’s fineeee

AND THE WAY HE TELLS HER

Trying to soften the blow, clearly, because he doesn’t want to make her anxious

“But, Jester, it was located where you were. Perhaps it’s the Gentleman or perhaps it’s...”

“I don’t think he can do it.”

And then Veth suggests Lucien knows Jester now because of the scrying spell and he’s immediately like “Does Lucien know her now, though, because of the scrying spell?”

“Fjord, if that happens again, just wake me up. I can dispel it.”

IDK THEIR QUIET LOOKS 

LOOK AT THEM

And then Fjord and Caduceus bring up the possibility that Lucien could properly see Jester and not just a ‘scrying ball’ 

And she’s clearly distressed by it

So Jester does what Jester does and jokes about how she might have looked like inside the ball

And Fjord plays along, sort of, saying her mouth was open when she slept which is definitely an attempt to cheer her up

“You were sleeping with your mouth open, if it’s any consolation.”

And it works because it’s funny and just LOOK AT THEM

HE’S SO PROUD THAT HE MADE HER SMILE AT LEAST A LITTLE

every time 

im just

The way they always focus on each other during group chaos

like how she’s so offended that fjord suggests yasha use her sword to dispel the necromantic stone

“I can dispel it! I have dispel!”

“Oh, right!”

LMFAO LOOK AT THIS DUMMIES 

(also some side delicious Beauyasha with Beau yelling “i am not having yasha walk up and hit it with her sword!)

okay and then, of course, Jester wants to pull a prank pointing people towards the Emerald 

and first when Caleb tries to disuade her because “that’s murder” she snaps back “well they should be smarter than that” (lol meaning Caleb)

but then Fjord says “it’s a bit much” and says he would’ve gone for it if he’d seen her sign and her immediate response is so much softer like-

And then by the end, after they both try to convince her...

they share this super long glance and he quietly says “leave it?” and she finally gives in 

BECAUSE SHE TRUSTS HIS JUDGEMENT THE MOST OK???

SHE DOES

AND HE’S USUALLY DOWN FOR SHENANIGANS EXCEPT IF SOMEONE COULD GET HURT

AND HE KNOWS SHE DOESN’T WANT PEOPLE TO GET HURT

BECAUSE, LIKE HE SAID IN RUMBLECUSP, HE KNOWS SHE CARES

OK OK OK OK

look listen this is ooc but also not so hear me out

so they went to break before the yeti attack right?

and jester and fjord were both inside of the net

and then Yasha helps Jester out of it 

but Travis is still super stressed and looking at his spells 

AND I’M PRETTY SURE HE WAS PLANING ON HOW TO GET THEM BOTH OUT WITH A SPELL OR SOMETHING

(they probably planned it on the break???) 

because Laura turns to Travis and she’s like “did you hear that? I just got free of the net” and his whole body language relaxes like “oh, good... wait how” 

anyway

YES HE WAS GOING TO GET HER OUT YOU CAN’T CHANGE MY MIND

and then and then and then

before they realized Fjord had advantage to get out of the net

they were planning for him to shoot eldritch blast

and then jester was going to hold the net up for him

LISTEN 

i choose to imagine this conversation happened during battle ok?

you can’t stop me

and speaking about fjorester being protective of each other

Lucien messages Jester

and a) travis just drops the thing he’s looking at which is hilarious, b) fjord does not look happy when jester tells them, but not in an angry way but in a *hundred yards stare i’m gonna kill that fucker* kinda thing

Fjord, after noticing another scrying orb: Oh, yes... they seem to be locked on you again. 

Jester: *fails to dispel it*

Jester: Is it gone?

Fjord, looking at it: Yes.

Fjord: You got it. 

Jester: Really? Oh my gosh! I’m so good at this!

LOOK AT THAT SMILE OKAY HE IS SO IN LOVE I CAN’T

OKAY FIRST OF ALL

THIS IS ONLY THE SECOND LIE FJORD HAS EVER TOLD JESTER AND THAT FUCKS ME UP OKAY?

BUT ALSO 

he’s just trying to ease her mind 

she’s clearly upset what with lucien being able to see her, scrying on her and now messaging her... she’s annoyed and pissed and —scared—

so Fjord, going back to his protective mode, lies to ease her mind

if there’s nothing they can do about the scrying right now, at least he can make her feel like she got back at the fucker who dispelled her before

okay that’s all

tune in next week (maybe) for more yelling

who’s excited for tonight?

[princessamericachavez]

Since we have a week off, is there a chance you could do a top 10 Fjorester moments so far?

OH HEY THIS SOUNDS LIKE FUN YES LET’S DO IT

10. “Did you just say I’ve been with your mom?!”

This whole sequence is hilarious. Jester is clearly annoyed that this woman is hitting on Fjord (as he tries to hire company for Kiri iirc) and tries to use her mom as leverage which clearly doesn’t work but...

what really gets me is how appalled Fjord sounds. It’s not “The Ruby of the Seas” it’s not “a famous courtesan” it’s not “a big score for a sailor like me” nope nope in his head this is “Jester’s mom” and given the flirty nature of their relationship he’s clearly Not Happy with the suggestion and Idk why but the way his voice becomes high-pitched with panic is just amazing and it was one of the first moments when my brain went PING he has a crush PING

9. Turning into water

Objectively, everything about that scene was hilarious. Fjord’s tired sigh, “nope, but thank you for that terrifying thought” was so funny and bantery... but what really gets me about this scene is how honestly worried about him Jester is at the beginning, just as he wakes up, and how later she tries to lighten the air between them with a joke...

And you can tell that it works because, despite Fjord’s initial discomfort, he turns it around and he gives her a wink and a smooth line and Jester just MELTS and it really just encapsulates so much about their friendship and dynamic and this was like episode 4 or smth

8. Post-Plank King talk

So this scene is pretty good already as a vulnerable and honest talk between them but also I like it for a few particular reasons. Firstly, the context. During the pirate arc, Fjord and Jester had some issues mostly because of Avantika, and Jester was starting to second-guess just how well she knew Fjord and he was pulling back from everyone under the pressures of leading... so to see her seek him out and just ask if he’s okay and how he is feeling was a wonderful thing for both of them. Also, I love how Fjord chose to open up to her about his conflicted feelings towards Vandran and how the whole thing hurt him. It’s just SO RARE to see him be this honest about his insecurities, and it really goes to show how much he trusts Jester. I also like that she mentions the accent thing. For us, as an audience, it’s pretty indicative that the person Jester thought she knew, actually is the real Fjord. That she has known him the best from the start and kept his secrets for him because they trust each other so much.

I also love the ending so so so much? Jester mentioning his growing tusks was such a soft little thing, and Fjord in turn acknowledging how much she supports him and thanking her for keeping his secrets was so sweet.

Plus, how to forget that perfect romcom ending where they both awkwardly pretend they have something else to do? PEAK SLOW BURN ROMANCE I TELL YOU.

7. Wursh

So this is two separate things, technically. First, their first meeting and Jester obviously noticing Fjord’s discomfort and insecurities and rushing to try to cheer him up after the talk. Jester is super perceptive, and she knows Fjord better than anyone, so I really appreciate that she didn’t just notice, she went out of her way to try to address it with him.

Also, though, the second time when she low-key threatens Wursh and makes sure he’s being nice to Fjord feels my heart with joy. Anyone who thinks Jester’s feelings for Fjord are shallow or performative is missing the point that she’s doing these things in private. He has no idea. She’s doing this out of love and selflessness, just checking in on him and making sure that he’s not going to be hurt by anyone else. And the way she TALKS about him, how gentle she sounds when talking about his insecurities and how she tells wursh that she knows he has a good heart I just- dfljañdlfja

6. Meeting the Ruby

I love so many things about this meeting omg. Firstly, that after watching Marion Lavorre aka the most famed and hot and expensive performer and courtesan in the Coast —at least— Fjord’s first reaction is “Hey, Jester, would you like to do that?” Like he has full faith she totally could do that and even when she voices certain self-doubts and Beau reassures her that she’s pretty and graceful, his contribution is “your singing voice is nice” as if the only thing that could stop Jester from reaching those heights was singing because she’s beautiful to his eyes.

Further proof? This boy, meeting the Ruby of the Seas, again, most beautiful and sensual woman, and his reaction is “I see where Jester got her good looks from” like, damn son, slow down! And Marion, bless her, all flirty but also perceptive being like “i can see you care about my daughter, do you watch over her?” and nearly making him break down right there, like Marion is part of the We Been Knew club.

And AFTER though, Fjord who has all this issues with family and who longs to find them but also dreads it, watching Jester (right after Caleb pointed out that her cheerfulness is an act) and making a point to ASK if she’s okay, “how are you feeling? do you want to have a drink? a walk? a talk?” this boy always going out of his way to make sure she feels okay and making sure they fix whatever is troubling her it’s just peak soft

5.The Tree Dive

Okay so what can I say about this that i haven’t yelled about yet? Travis “No Romance” Willingham giving ups PEAK ROMCOM DRAMATIC MOMENTS that take our breath away? Check. Fjord who just recently had an epiphany as to HOW MUCH Jester means to him and how her unwavering support is the one thing he can lean on, freaking LEAPING after her when she falls off the tree? The fact that there were ZERO seconds of hesitation between her falling and his jump? Feather fall giving them one quiet floaty yaoi moment where they hold hand and look at each other right before he booms them back up? How about Jester’s shocked and scared “Fjord, you-“ once they are back up, like she just CAN’T BELIEVE what he did for her?? AND THEN THE BOY USES HIS LAST SPELLSLOT JUST TO GIVE HER A BOOST WHEN SHE STARTS TO PANIC?!

IT’S FINE IT’S FINE I DIDN’T NEED MY HEART ANYWAY

4. The Second Temple

This one is, like, especially interesting when you consider the context, right? Like, it’s right after the blue dragon fight and Fjord just spent the whole past day trying to patch things up with Jester while she pulls away… and then they are here and he’s ready to go through with this and Jester is just SO SCARED FOR HIM. She doesn’t want to leave him behind, and he KNOWS that.

The way she just sits down to talk to her god, her best friend in the world, and ask him to look after him for her just MELTS MY HEART. And you can see it melts Fjord’s too. I mean, here is a boy who grew up all alone, with no one to help him or stand up for him, who deeply believes that no one in the world would possibly care about his problems, and then there’s this girl who is so worried about him, literally praying for him. And like, just the moment when he sits next to her and he’s so soft and touched by her worry. “Jester, it’s alright. You don’t have to tell me. I appreciate the sentiment.” THIS IS PRETTY MUCH A STAR WARS CLASSIC “I KNOW” OKAY??’  and her quiet “i really hope he does help you” “me too”

*banging pots and pans* TRAVELER SHOW TF UP FOR YOUR GIRL AND HELP FJORD OKAY WILD MAMA BEAT U TO IT BUT YOU GOTTA STEP UP

And the last part is just so cute, like, “just, don’t turn evil to me?” “Or anyone else? just you” listen listen listen if we ever talk dark au’s this is basically the foundation, “fuck the world but i can’t lose you”

3. Tusk Talk

There’s so much to appreciate about this talk, especially with Fjord being so open and vulnerable about his past, but I’m super soft about how Jester chooses to reassure him. “I think you would look good either way, Fjord” because she likes him and not just about his body, it’s about who he IS. And you can tell how much her opinion matters to him by the way he hyper focus on Jester after that comment. Everyone else keeps talking and he’s just like “you’re saying I should grow them back?” and she just reassures him again that it doesn’t matter to her.

And he does something that is still so impactful to the narrative about 50 episodes later: he gives her control, he trusts her enough to overwatch him getting over his worst childhood trauma, and in that moment he makes himself vulnerable in a way he never has before. And she takes that trust and honors it, and she comments on his tusks now and then, she makes them a mark of pride in her tattoos, she reassures him whenever those insecurities resurface. It’s such a meaningful thing that he has chosen to share with her, I don’t think I’ll ever be over it.

2. Underwater Kiss

Again, what can I say that I haven’t yelled about before? Fjord, who just tried to drown Avantika btw, sees Jester drowning right before of him and this protective self-sacrificial boy just grabs her by the face and KISSES HER. Travis used those words exactly, hell he specifically referenced The Shape of Water. And then he gives her all of his air. HE JUST DOES THAT.

He could’ve done so many other things?! Taken the key from her? Pulled her to the entrance with his double swimming speed? AND INSTEAD HE DID THAT

AND THEY HAVEN’T FREAKING TALKED ABOUT IT

ALSO JESTER’S FIRST KISS??? AND HOW JUST ROMANTIC AND AESTHETIC AND EXCITING IT IS?

when i tell you my heart can’t take it

1. Jellyfish Talk

Of course, of course, this is the TOP Forester moment. I mean. How could it not be? The romantic light, the heart to heart, Jester first and foremost checking on how Fjord is feeling with his mission and then carefully bringing up her negative feelings, for the first time, willingly, because she trusts him so much. And Fjord, who just had Caleb open his eyes about Jester hiding her emotions, being so tentative around her, so careful. Fjord being vulnerable too, opening up about his own negative emotions, give and take, so that she will feel better opening up. Fjord being so soft and reassuring for her, coming up with crazy plans to make her laugh and cheer her up. THE SOFTNESS with which he says “Don’t be sad. Your mama is pretty proud of you, that much is clear.” He’s so gentleeeee

And listen listen listen this moment is also key because of how much it affected what came next. Like, Avantika comes and muddles everything up, but this talk lingers between them as a moment of sincerity before all the lies, and then, as soon as they move on from this hell, Fjord’s main priority is getting Jester back to her mom, making sure Jester is okay, trying to return to that point. It takes them a while, of course, but you can tell this moment is a strong foundation for them to find their way back to each other.

Because in this moment, in the ship surrounded by beauty, they saw each other without masks.

[princessamericachavez]

Fjorester episode 24

Okay so like I said I have a lot of Fjorester feels after last episode and after yelling about it with @dinah-lance I can put some of it into words.

So let’s start:

First of all, there’s the elephant in the room: aka Jester’s jealousy the second episode in a row. Now, both times Jester’s reacted to someone showing interest in Fjord but I think this episode gave us a better insight as to why Jester reacts this way.

So, for starters, when Fjord goes in to ask about companions and gets flirted on by Irene, he’s immediately flustarted and awkwardly fumbling his way through, and Jester is watching with quite a bit of amusement. 

It’s the second time around, when Irene is being more insinuating and Fjord starts to fumble and go from flustrated to visibly uncomfortable that Jester steps in. Imho it seems like she’s doing so to help him out and ‘protect’ him, rather than just to push another woman away. And Jester uses the most powerful thing she owns, the one she’s only brought up before in another situation she was trying to help Fjord: her mother’s stage name. She calls it a ‘power play’ and that’s what it’s meant to be, but it falls flat probably because Hopperdook is too far up north or because a working-class bartender wouldn’t know much about a famous high society courtesan. 

Now, even though she says this in order to help, it’s worth nothing that Jester looks pissed. She keeps her high society persona, with a smooth voice and softer accent, that she uses whenever she’s pulling her heritage as a powerful card, but she also glares daggers at Irene who does not back down on her offers (and at Fjord who just fumbles along instead of going with her attempted power move). 

I love —LOVE— Fjord’s reaction to this later though: DID YOU JUST SAY I’VE BEEN WITH YOUR MOM?

Reasons I love this: a) Fjord knows better than any other M9 the reputation of the Ruby of the Sea and seemed to be quite impressed by it the first time it was brought up so he must have known why Jester was bringing it up. b) Fjord shows here that he doesn’t see the Ruby as some legend or even high class courtesan, but as Jester’s mom. I think that’s a nice detail that explains why he was weirded out. c) Given the flirty nature of Fjord and Jester’s relationship —as much as no crushes are patent yet according to Travis and Laura— it makes sense that he’d be weirded out that his flirty friend would say she’s been with her mother. d) Fjord looked SO HORRIFIED by the sole idea, even when the move was clearly to show him as someone of money and power, he just looks MORTIFIED and I love it.

At least Jester realizes it’s a little creepy too, especially considering she seems to be attracted to Fjord quite a bit. 

Moving on. We can see that this isn’t just a thing about Jester wanting to have sex with Fjord and pushing other women away because she offers to give him lessons. I want to point out, though, the way she offers this is matter-of-factly and not with the flirty/suggestive tone she would normally use with him. She saw her friend lacks experience in a field she doesn’t and offered to teach him. Even when Nott suggests Fjord might be spending the night with someone else, Jester seems rather unbothered. Because for Jester sex is just sex. Nothing more. 

So why the reaction to Irene if Jester recognizes that sex does not mean much more than sex...? I think the answer is given to us twice with her Zone of Truth spell. And I’m not talking about her question to Irene, though that will come up later.

Firstly, though, what’s the first thing Jester does when her friends are inside the truthful zone and she’s given a few extra minutes to ask questions? Her first instinct, when she thinks others won’t lie to her is to ask “Do you like me? Are we friends?”. Jester’s need for affection and friendship had come up before (remember Caleb points it out, when Jester claims he hates her after a bad day). She needs to be reassured that others truly like her, and appreciate her, and want her around, because Jester has been pushed away and hidden most of her life, she’s been ostracized from any real friends other than the Traveler (which is still debatable) and has no social experience that lets her see what to us is obvious: the Mighty Nein adore her. 

So, knowing this is what makes Jester the most insecure (remember her throwing a fit when she wasn’t allowed in the drinking contest earlier? because she hates feeling left out), it makes a lot more sense how she approaches the Irene situation. She goes to her and asks: “Are you really interested in Fjord or just flirting because it’s good for your job?” (or something along those lines sorry I’m paraphrasing). But the thing is, I don’t think Jester is asking if Irene wants to have sex with Fjord, what she wants to know if Irene is interested in him. Romantically. Because Jester has no virtual reference as to how romantic feelings develop, other than some stories and that one smutty novel. So what she saw in Irene was a woman who could take Fjord away, who would fall in love with him and pull her first real friend away from Jester, who would capture his attention and therefore make Jester feel less special. Because, while she might doubt the other Mighty Nein’s affection for her, she seems pretty sure that Fjord and her are a unit, a team, and she trusts him the most and knows he trusts her... and she’s probably terrified of losing that to someone else. 

As soon as Irene says “I’m a business woman, but I also have my needs” Jester relaxes. It’s just sex. This is just about sex, and she’s cool with that. You can see the way her posture relaxes and her face turns almost apologetic as she backs away from the conversation. Every inch of defensiveness and standoffish attitude is dropped as soon as Jester sees this woman as someone who just wants sex, rather than a competitor for affection. 

The second thing I wanna talk about is Fjord’s backstory drop this episode, because if you pay attention there’s also a bit of a nice dynamic there between the two of them. Though the other M9 show some resistance regarding Fjord’s impromptu mission, Jester’s reluctance is not about helping the kids, but how to do it without failing their current contract. 

However as soon as Fjord states this is important to him even if he hasn’t said the worth ‘orphan’ yet, Jester immediately says ‘alright’ and is all in. Now, the others need a little bit more convincing, understandably so, and it isn’t until Nott pushes and Fjord comes clean about his past that the others do a 180º turn and decide to help (I love how they are already low-key ride or die for each other). 

Now, when Fjord says he’s an orphan, though, the others act surprised or at the very least taken back (Nott goes as far as to apologize for asking), but Jester does a little sad smile that suggests she knew already. We knew already, thanks to some canon moments and last week’s Talks Machina episode, that Jester knows a lot more about Fjord’s past than the rest of the M9, and that she’s been keeping quiet about it for him (the same way she’s now being quiet about Caleb’s accidental name drop), and I think it was a very nice and heartfelt moment, that taught us more about how what Jester knows about Fjord, that we didn’t yet, has shaped her image about him. Now, we see orphan!Fjord who is genuinely trying to move up in life, who is vulnerable and genuinely good and kind to others in a shitty situation. Jester knew that already, she saw him for who he is all this time. 

I also love that after they decide they are doing this, Jester comes up with a plan. What I like about this is that, generally, the M9 dynamic has Jester as the heart of the group and Fjord as the head. In this particular issue, however, Fjord is clearly emotionally compromised, he’s moved and vulnerable, he’s pleading with the others for help, he’s hellbent on doing this even if he doesn’t have a clue about how to do it or if it’s even possible. And what does Jester do then? She takes lead. She says “we can go in to say we’ll turn of the automaton and break the parents out” and she says so with complete seriousness. She’s not joking around, she doesn’t come up with some insane plan or funny detectives move... because this is important to Fjord, and we’ve seen before that when that happens Jester is all in to make it work. (See, the Academy letter and their hussle to get into the HR’s house). 

There’s probably more little moments across the episode worth pointing out: (Fjord’s gentle scolding when Jester mentions the mushroom houses again, or that protective tone he defaults to when they decide Jester should probably not enter the drinking game tonight) but this two things are the ones that really touched me and shed light on their wonderful dynamic and I can’t wait to see more of it later.