#which mean Rio must mean so much to her her mind literally choose Rio to guided herself

[confusedspaceotter]

Wait was the Rio in Agatha’s version of the spell even real if so we need a Rio pov(since now we got a Billy/William pov

[sou-ver-2-0]

What do you think of the Push Fake Reko(Save Reko) or Spare her(Save Alice) choice as it relates to the themes of logic vs. emotion? My one friend views Reko as the more emotion leaning one since thats the only why she and Alice can potentially make up. But I think it's more logical since to do that you push Fake!Reko to her death because she's obly a doll, even though she's begging for her life.

Why pushing Fake Reko is logical and sparing her is emotional

This is a fantastic question. I was thinking about it for days after you sent it in, going back and forth. The "push or spare Fake Reko" choice feels a bit messier than other logic/emotion choices, such as "kill Kai (logic) or kill Sou (emotion)" in the First Main Game, or "kill Kanna (logic) or kill Sou (emotion)" in the Second Main Game. That's partially because, as you mentioned, this choice ends up determining the fates of the real Yabusame siblings rather than Fake Reko and Gin, whose fates are sealed. Unlike other choices, Sara can't anticipate the consequences. This makes it tricky to analyze in hindsight, since we're influenced by the unexpected outcomes. That's what your friend was doing by looking at the emotional results of pushing Fake Reko. I sympathize with your friend because I also want to analyze the complete story, but I still think it's most important to analyze Sara's mindset in the moment of the choice itself. That's why I argued that killing Kanna was logical for Sara, even though a genre-savvy player might logically assume that killing a child could lead to a bad ending. We need to be able to set aside our greater knowledge as players, and put ourselves in Sara's shoes.

Another reason this choice feels different from other choices in YTTD is because it has almost nothing to do with Sara's self-preservation. Instead, this choice is based on a more philosophical question: how do we measure the humanity of a robot doll? And there's another question baked into this choice as well: are we willing to become a murderer to save a human child? Can we rationally justify this murder?

I recently played through this choice, and after reviewing the narrative, I came to the same conclusion as you did: I think it's logical to push Fake Reko, and emotional to spare her. 

Fake Reko makes an emotional appeal to save her life. She says that she has suffered. She says that she considered Sara a real friend. She sings a beautiful song full of emotion. Even though Sara can logically trap Fake Reko by pointing out that the real Reko wouldn't have sung that song, that only proves that Real Reko and Fake Reko are different people. It's much more difficult to prove that Fake Reko doesn't have a right to live, because Fake Reko's robotic heart still feels real. Even if we rationalize that she's "only a doll," my heart still wants to save Fake Reko.

When Fake Reko sings, the game's dialogue reinforces that Sara is being swayed emotionally to save Fake Reko. Sara's heart connects with Fake Reko's song, even as her mind reels to prove that she's different from Real Reko.

(I've never heard a song from Reko's band, so I can't compare her singing with the real deal...)

(Even so... Could a doll perform vocals so full of emotion...?!)

However, what fully sold me on my interpretation of this choice was hearing from Mr. Emotion and Mr. Logic themselves. This is how Sou and Keiji react to Fake Reko's emotional defense of her own life.

Sou: ...Doesn't feel good. Why is she able to cry, too...? She's basically a human at this point.

Keiji: Is this...part of the emotion program, too?

Notice that Sou talks about his feelings. He says out loud that killing Fake Reko "doesn't feel good." He connects with Fake Reko's ability to cry, and he ends by affirming her humanity. Sou's sprite is also clearly distressed.

Meanwhile, Keiji asks a logical question that would affirm Fake Reko's robotic nature. Yes, she may feel like a human, but we can still rationalize that she's not. Even though Keiji looks bothered, his expression is more muted than Sou's. 

We also have Kanna's emotional outburst.

Kanna: Awful... Awful! Isn't this just too cruel...? If she has a heart... and feelings... then she's no different from a human!!

Kanna is an emotional character like Sou. I believe that Kanna is the character most like young Shin Tsukimi. The meaning of Kanna's words is the same as Sou's words, but expressed more strongly. Additionally, Kanna's expression is even more despairing than Sou's face, with tears streaming down her face.

When I pictured Kanna, Sou, and Keiji in Sara's place, it became clear to me that sparing Fake Reko was emotional while pushing her was logical. 

If Kanna was there, I don't think she could do it. Killing Fake Reko would be too heavy a burden on her young heart. She knows it's wrong and her heart screams at the injustice. All Kanna can do is offer up her own life in the event that Gin is about to be executed. She asks Ranger to take her instead. That's extremely brave of her, but ultimately ineffective since it's against the rules.

If Sou was there, I think he could do it, but he would hesitate for a long time, and he would probably cry. Sou is capable of making difficult choices and doing what needs to be done, but he would still connect emotionally with Fake Reko. Sou and Fake Reko actually parallel each other as "the harsh part of yourself who would kill the kind part of yourself to survive." When Nao calls out Fake Reko's threats against her and Sara as a bluff--Nao states that Fake Reko couldn't kill anyone she considers a friend--I believe that statement applies to Sou as well. Both Sou and Fake Reko are less tough than they appear; they'd rather kill themselves than someone they love. (Sou metaphorically kills himself and Fake Reko literally kills her other self, but Sou won't hurt Kanna, and Fake Reko won't hurt Nao or Sara.) Killing Fake Reko would be difficult for Sou, but I think he would still make the same hard choices as Nao. Especially if he was motivated to preserve Kanna's innocence, much like Nao was motivated to preserve Sara's innocence.

If Keiji was there, I think he would bury his guilt and he wouldn't hesitate for long. Keiji is the most jaded character with a heavily burdened heart. He's already killed his childhood hero and his ex-coworker, so shouldn't killing a robot woman be easier to justify than either of those? Keiji is the best at rationalizing and prioritizing the greater good. In this case, the greater good means killing a robot doll to save a human child. I also think that Keiji is a responsible, brave sort who would prefer to take on this burden himself, rather than let somebody more innocent suffer through this choice. I imagine such logical thoughts would spur on Keiji to be the quickest to push Fake Reko to her death.

That's why I believe pushing Fake Reko is logical while sparing her is emotional. You need to be able to set aside your feelings in order to kill Fake Reko. You need to be able to rationalize and think of the greater good. Emotional characters would struggle more with this choice because our hearts insist that Fake Reko deserves to live, even if she's different. Recognizing our common humanity with "different" people, especially vulnerable people, is a good moral instinct. She still feels "basically a human." Can we ignore that injustice in order to rescue Gin?

I'll share a few final thoughts about this choice.

Another tragedy at the heart of this puzzle is that it was designed by a doll, Rio Ranger. Rio Ranger is a doll with an inferiority complex who feels jealous of humans. His own solution to this puzzle--the humans have to kill a doll to save one of their own--feels like a way of justifying his own hatred of humans. Obviously the nicest solution to this puzzle would be if we could convince Rio Ranger that we recognize dolls' humanity, but Rio Ranger is an unfinished doll who can't feel compassion, so we can't reach him.

Finally, I want to discuss the cathartic reunion scene between Real Reko and Alice in the event that Alice dies. Since the only way to get a cathartic scene after the Sou-Kanna choice is to choose "emotion," I understand why your friend would think that pushing Reko must be the emotional choice. However, I think the parallel between these cathartic scenes is more complex than simply choosing logic or emotion. Both cathartic scenes reward you for two things:

Sara chooses to save a child, the most vulnerable among us. Either Gin or Kanna.

Sara helps a guilty man along the path of redemption. In the first case, she must help Alice try to reconcile with Reko in his bongos sidequest, which is the only way to trigger the bittersweet reunion scene. In the second case, she helps Shin save a little girl and become himself again.

Protecting the most vulnerable and giving the guilty a second chance are what really matter here. Even though pushing Fake Reko is logical and killing Shin/Sou is emotional, Sara is still making the same kind of moral decisions.

Thank you for the stellar question, Anon.

[antimatterpod]

Transcript - 48. A 100% Patient Fatality  Rate

Click here to listen to the original episode.

Anika:  Welcome to Antimatter Pod, a Star Trek podcast where we discuss fashion, feminism, subtext and subspace, hosted by Anika and Liz. Today we're talking about medicine and medical practitioners in Star Trek.

Liz:  Which turned out to be a really popular topic when you posted about it on Instagram [Liz means Twitter]. We had a lot of discussion. 

Anika:  Yes, I'm excited that people were interested and wanted to pick their favourite doctors.

Liz:  Medicine is very much on people's mind, and it plays a very big part in Star Trek. 

Anika:  I have seen a lot of, you know, "which Starfleet doctor would you want to deal with the pandemic, or who's most likely to come up with the vaccine?" and stuff like that. 

Liz:  I'm gonna say, all of them, because we want to throw as much brain power as we can at this problem. 

Anika:  I mean, I think that's why I was interested in doing it. You can't avoid it, so you might as well look at it from an interesting Star Trek perspective.

Liz:  Yeah! And I had proposed that we do this episode as a deep dive into the character of Christine Chapel, which I still think we should do one day, but Women at Warp did the same thing very recently. So I can have my nursing in Star Trek rant in this episode instead. 

Anika:  That's right.

Liz:  You've set out a very nice list of doctors, the doctors from each series: McCoy, Boyce, M'Benga, Crusher, Pulaska, Selar, Bashir, the EMH, Phlox, Culber, Pollard, the--

Anika:  The Rios EMH. 

Liz:  The Rios EMH and Agnes Jurati. And it's sort of interesting how, in modern 21st century Trek, the role of the doctor seems to have declined. 

Anika:  Yes! In Discovery, we still don't know who the chief medical officer is on that ship.

Liz:  I thought it was Tracy Pollard.

Anika:  I thought so, too, but then other people came and said that she wasn't the CMO, she was just another doctor.

Liz:  Oh. 

Anika:  So I don't really know. But if she is, she's not a regular. Culber wasn't even a regular in the first season. 

Liz:  And none of his arcs are really about him as a doctor.

Anika:  Medicine at all, no. 

Liz:  Which is not a criticism! But it would be cool to have more of his profession in the third season, and more of Dr Pollard. And the CMO, if that's a different character.

Anika:  It makes sense for both Deep Space 9 and Voyager for there to be only one doctor--

Liz:  Does it make sense for Deep Space 9?

Anika:  Well -- okay, it makes sense for there to be only one Starfleet doctor on Deep Space 9. Because it's a Starfleet outpost on another station, a Bajoran station. It's not a Starfleet thing. And, Voyager, they all died. So those make sense. And Enterprise, they didn't even have a doctor. Phlox isn't even really a part of Starfleet. He randomly joined the crew. It's very strange.

Liz:  Is he even qualified to treat humans?

Anika:  Is he even a doctor?

Liz:  [laughs]

Anika:  As far as I can tell, he could have easily been, like, a PhD in biochemistry or something, and got on board and was like, "I wanna do research on you guys." 

Liz:  Yeah, "This is totes ethical, by the way." 

Anika:  And they were like, "Okay, sure. Here, have our sickbay." 

Liz:  I have a theory about the decline of the doctor as a presence in Star Trek. Because this is almost the only franchise where we can trace this development down the decades. So you start with McCoy, and Crusher, and these are sort of the eras when Americans had a family doctor, and had better access to healthcare. So as your healthcare system evolved, and changed, and became more difficult to access, the doctors reduce in numbers on the ship, and become less accessible. Medicine is less accessible to the crew, except through emergency things like holograms. 

Anika:  Yeah, and you have to -- so the EMHs are the only doctors we have in the most future Star Treks, right? So it's like, they've actually been replaced by holographic doctors. And this is where I bring up that, in Star Wars -- which is not -- it's futuristic, but also not futuristic, but I've always found it really interesting and odd that there are no doctors in Star Wars, they are all droids. 

Liz:  Yeah!

Anika:  Every medic is a droid. It's like they just stopped having human contact for practitioners. 

Liz:  Wasn't there a doctor played by Harriet Walter in The Force Awakens, who's sort of flirting with Chewy? 

Anika:  Yes, but I think that's a cut scene. I don't think that scene's actually in the movie. Or, if it is, it's only a couple of lines, and the full scene is in the--

Liz:  It's very brief.

Anika:  There is a larger scene. But that's the Resistance, and certainly, by -- once you get to The Last Jedi, they have no--

Liz:  Resources. 

Anika:  Nothing, they have literally nothing. So in The Force Awakens, it's like, they had -- so she's like an old school actual human doctor that they convinced to join their ragtag group, that's what I get out of it. It's just interesting. I'm not saying that -- it's this weird, "In the future, we won't have doctors, we'll just have holograms or droids." And it's sort of like, now that we're in this pandemic, where you can't go see your doctor unless it's an emergency, and you just see them over the internet, I can see how teledoc is going to become droids and holograms. 

Liz:  I can see that!

Anika:  It makes sense. Not in a good way. I think that we need to keep the human parts of doctoring. But I get it, I get why science fiction is sort of playing with that reality. 

Liz:  And it's in even a thing in The Expanse, where there's no doctor on the Rocinante, there's a computer system which can do surgery and dispense medicine, and then, on bases and so forth--

Anika:  And WebMD is taking over.

Liz:  Yeah! And so human doctors are a supplement. Anyway, that's my grand theory about the decline of the role of the doctor in Star Trek. 

And you also see, kind of, the way our conception of the doctor changes, from the doctor as bartender with Boyce, and the friendly neighbourhood gruff old man of McCoy, to the much more nurturing figure of Crusher, and then sort of the male ego with Bashir and the EMH. 

And then Phlox -- I love Phlox, he's actually one of my favourite characters on Enterprise, but I have so much trouble fitting him into the role of doctor. And I think it's like you said, I don't know that he is a doctor. [laughs]

Anika:  I don't think he's a doctor! I think he has a PhD. And he's a research scientist. I really see Phlox as more of a research scientist than an actual medical practitioner. Which is interesting, and I agree that he's a great character, but I wouldn't want him treating me. 

Liz:  I think this was part of the discussion on Twitter, that a lot of these characters are wonderful, wonderful characters, but would you want them to be treating you at all? And, uh, yeah, I have a list of Star Trek doctors who I would as my doctor. And in order, it goes, Crusher, Pulaski, Culber, McCoy, Bashir, the holographic doctor, Phlox. And I didn't -- I completely forgot about the EMH on La Sirena and Agnes, because Agnes doesn't practise medicine. She has a medical degree, but she doesn't practise. 

Anika:  It's sort of like, she is the doctor on that show? She doesn't actually do doctoring, but--

Liz:  She has a 100% fatality rate with her patients!

Anika:  [laughs] So my notes for -- I wrote out the list for us, and then I put in a little bit for each person, and my note for Jurati is just, "Jurati -- LOL".

Liz:  [laughs] 

Anika:  That's it! 

Liz:  It sort of annoys me that she has a medical degree, because I think Alison Pill is too young to play a character with two doctorates. But--

Anika:  It could be an MD-PhD, where you get them at the same time.

Liz:  No! Because she already has her medical degree when she hooks up with what's his face as his grad student.

Anika:  Well, then, I agree with you, it's stupid. [laughs] It's also, like, in the future, apparently, everyone gets their college degrees when they're twelve, or whatever, and then they join -- whatever, it's fine. 

Liz:  I'm going to assume -- I'm going to headcanon that she finished high school at 16, went straight to the Academy, and only -- and did the whole medical thing, and then belatedly realised she did not want to be in space. And I still wonder why they let her in, but uhhhhh, I guess it's like the Sorting Hat, and people's psychology changes as they grow up? 

Anika:  Who knows? 

Liz:  Who even knows?

Anika:  Imagine Jurati taking her no-win scenario test to get into the Academy. It would be a mess. 

Liz:  I thought that one was to graduate?

Anika:  Well, no, because in -- Wesley takes that one to get into Starfleet Academy--

Liz:  Oh yeah! The psychological test. 

Anika:  --and he has to prove that he can make a decision and choose someone who has to die. Which is like -- apparently, that is the number one way to test someone? Because that happens to Troi, it happens to Wesley, it happens to everybody in the actual no-win scenario Kobayashi Maru test. It's like, whatever! 

Liz:  I feel like that particular test was tailored for Wesley, like, it's different for everyone, and with the way Wesley's father died, that's what he needed. 

Anika:  Yes, that's what it said, but it's just interesting to me that the Star Trek writers think that that's the biggest test.

Liz:  I kind of think the Federation, as a culture, values life so highly that it really must be very difficult for the average citizen, if they are faced with a scenario where they effectively have to triage -- so yeah, I can see that being a real point of division between people who are suitable for Starfleet and everyone else. I don't think I could do it. 

Anika:  I don't know. I would have to take the test. I can't imagine it. My existence is such that I would never be in that position. 

Liz:  Yeah, I don't even like killing my squad in video games. I feel bad about it. And they're pixels! And not very well animated pixels at the best of times!

Anika:  Aw! 

Liz:  So do you have a favourite doctor?

Anika:  [sighs] It's hard. It's hard because -- I think I've told this story, where I told Alexander Siddig that I loved all the doctors, and so that's why he was going to be my favourite character.

Liz:  Yes, you have. 

Anika:  So in my head, I have this idea that I love the doctors most? But then, when I actually write down my favourite characters, they don't make it onto the list? So it's this weird -- like, medical, Starfleet Medical track is my favourite of all. I like them more than Command, I like them more than Engineering, and Ops, or whatever that one is. But the individual characters, I love them all, but I don't know. It's weird. So I guess Dr Crusher is my nostalgic heart's favourite. 

Liz:  Yes. 

Anika:  Because I loved her so much when I was a kid watching The Next Generation. I just was so drawn to her as a character. She was the first character in The Next Generation that I really connected with.

Liz:  Same, yes. 

Anika:  So I would say that that's -- like, Dr Crusher is going to be my favourite. I have a lot of affection for Dr Bashir, because I -- [laughs] I love trash boys. 

Liz:  [giggles]

Anika:  I just do! I have this problem! 

Liz:  No, no! 

Anika:  And I really -- he reminds me a lot of Tom Paris, in that he starts out as a really terrible person who you can't root for because he's horrible and creepy towards all women, and treats people in a very elitist "you're my property" weird way. Like, he's entitled, or something? But he grows into someone who decides not to be that. Both Tom Paris and Dr Bashir do this in this interesting arc where -- I don't know, I wrote here, "He's creepy about women and becomes a much better character when they stop doing that, it's almost like you shouldn't prioritise having a 'ladies man' in your cast". 

Liz:  I couldn't agree more.

Anika:  All of them, they tried to do this with these characters, and it's awful and doesn't work. No one likes it. Not just me, not just women, but no one likes it, because they stop doing it and then the characters become better, you know? 

Liz:  Yeah, yeah!

Anika:  Riker, Paris, Bashir, all go through this. It's like, maybe don't have that be important to your cast? Just a suggestion? 

Liz:  I've been listening to the podcast Delta Flyers, with Garrett Wang and Robert Duncan McNeill -- it's rather good, everyone should give it a go (if they like Voyager) -- but he is saying, in the first couple of episodes, he wishes that he hadn't played Paris as such an aggressive sleaze, because it's unpleasant to watch, and it's so far removed from what the character eventually becomes, which is, like, suburban space dad.

Anika:  Exactly. And I see Bashir in the same way. He doesn't become the same type of character, but he does start out as a person that I don't really want to win, but in the end, I really love him. 

Liz:  Yeah. 

Anika:  He never quite grows out of "trash boy", but he's not like an Archer, he's not a complete trash boy. 

Liz:  I think the thing is that he learns better. He stops being a creep about women, he stops being incredibly colonialist about Bajor and "the frontier". And he loses his ego. 

Like, "The Quickening" is a really great episode because initially he fails, and a lot of people die, and he keeps going, and he leaves Deep Space 9 for months -- or a couple of months, at least, to leave with these people in relative poverty and cure their disease. And, in the end, all he can do is ensure that it's not passed on to the next generation. The work of curing it for this living, dying generation has to go to other people. That's an outstanding episode, and I think a lot of Bashir-as-doctor -- if I think of him in that role, I think ego. And that's sort of a story about breaking his ego. 

Anika:  Yes. And he comes out better for it.

Liz:  Yeah, like, he was already a good character, but after that, I would trust him as a good doctor. As opposed to, like, a Dr House type, who is absolutely brilliant at medicine, but would you actually want to be treated by him? 

Anika:  Right. Exactly. You don't. I'm in the middle of a House rewatch right now--

Liz:  Oh my God.

Anika:  --and you absolutely do not. You also don't want to spend any time with him. 

Both: [laugh]

Liz:  My confession is that I wrote a fair -- like, not a lot, but a little bit of House fic, back in the day. It was a whole thing. 

Anika:  I have House fic. We can compare notes. Mine's all about Cameron, I'll be honest. 

Liz:  I really detested Cameron as a character--

Anika:  I love her! She's one of my favourite fictional characters!

Liz:  I think if I went back now, ten, fifteen years -- oh my God, how long as it been? I think if I went back now, I would really appreciate her more, but back then I found her annoying, and I wanted more Cuddy. And now I'm much older and wiser, and we can have both! But House is the origin of my great love for Lisa Edelstein. 

Anika:  That's fair.

Liz:  Anyway! Back on topic…

Anika:  So Crusher, Bashir, and I will say that I really like Culber, but I have yet to see him as a doctor at all. I don't even count him as a favourite doctor. I like his character, such as it is. I like the character that I think he is, I'll say that. 

Liz:  I feel like I would enjoy being treated by him because, like the women, he has a very gentle manner, and he doesn't seem to let his ego get in the way of much. And I think those are good traits to have in a personal physician. I would be open to being treated by Hugh, I think -- he's gentle. I think I like my male doctors [as characters, not as real doctors treating me] to be gentle and my female doctors to be spiky. 

Because I watched "The Child", the episode of TNG that introduces Pulaski, the other day, and I'm like, (a) this is truly terrible television; (b) I kind of feel like, aside from all the reasons that Pulaski doesn't work, like, her relationship with Data is off-putting, and all of that -- I think she was just too outspoken and too ahead of her time as a character. I look at Pulaski, and I see a woman who can tell a bunch of men to cut the manlier-than-thou bullshit. And Star Trek wasn't ready for that.

Anika:  Star Trek was not ready for that. And it's also -- even with the stuff with Data, I think they were trying -- she has a lot in common with McCoy. And McCoy is beloved--

Liz:  Absolutely.

Anika:  --and Pulaski is not. She's sort of having maybe a renaissance now. I see more Pulaski fans than I had. But she's never going to be on McCoy level of belovedness. But they have a lot in common.

Liz:  She was an explicit attempt to bring in an older, female McCoy type to the show. And to bring a bit more conflict without breaking Roddenberry's rules. And I just -- the problem is that she goes after Data. And to me, watching "The Child"--

Anika:  And Data's not Spock.

Liz:  Yeah, Data can't fight back the way Spock does. So to me, she meets Data, and it's like me if Siri started expressing preferences, I'd be like, "That's hilarious! Who programmed that?" Like when Siri makes Skynet jokes! But the audience has known Data for a season, and knows that Data is a person. So they just cannot see it from her perspective. And so she comes in like this complete bully. 

Anika:  Right. 

Liz:  And she does get over it, to her credit, but I think it was a bad note to start off on--

Anika:  Yeah, it was a terrible note to start off.

Liz:  --and a lot of people -- yeah. It's like watching an adult bully a child. 

Anika:  And also that Picard really disrespects her a lot in that episode. He's just, like, "I'm so annoyed that you're a part of my crew, now, that I'm just going to treat you terribly." It's like, wow.

Liz:  He's kind of the audience stand-in for the Beverly fans going, "Wait, what?"

Anika:  Right! So, yeah. Pulaski's just never going to be my favourite because I loved Crusher so much. And it's all wrapped up in my mother, and my mother's death, which all happened at the same time. So it's like, no. 

Liz:  No, I understand!

Anika:  I cannot. But I understand why people like her, and I think she is or could have been a good character.

Liz:  I really wish Diana Muldaur had been able to stick around as a recurring character at some point, or come in on her own ship once a season, or something. Because I do think Pulaski could have been a character as popular and interesting as Ensign Ro, and I think the series would have really benefited from having that sort of strong, no-bullshit female force. But my heart belongs to Beverly. 

Anika:  Right. Exactly. 

Liz:  And Selar -- season 2 of Next Gen is like the season of missed opportunities with female doctors, because Selar only appears in one episode, and she's still being namechecked as late as First Contact. Go Suzie Plakson!

Anika:  Yeah, and she's very memorable. And she also brought Suzie Plakson in. Because she's such a presence throughout Star Trek now, it's like she elevates Selar, because she played her. But I do think that just the idea of a Vulcan doctor is fun and interesting, and I want more of that. 

Liz:  It's also that she only appeared in one truly terrible episode, but she had so much presence. 

Anika:  Exactly.

Liz:  And I think, to be successful as an actor playing a Vulcan, you need to have a lot going on behind your eyes. And she did that. She was brilliant. And I love Robin Curtis, but I think Selar was, like, Kirstie Alley level good. So it's a real shame that we never see her again. 

Do you think, like, in terms of really obscure characters we can bring back for Picard, we could bring back Selar?

Anika:  Oh my gosh, that would be amazing. They do need a doctor! Like we said!

Liz:  They do! 

Anika:  They need a doctor! 

Liz:  I think that, with all of these Romulans running around, we need a Vulcan for comedy alone. 

Anika:  [laughing] So good! I love this idea.

Liz:  But I also want Suzie Plakson to play L'Rell's mother in Strange New Worlds. Because we know she can do a Klingon, we know she can handle make-up, and she is actually taller than Mary Chieffo. 

Anika:  Amazing. It's so good. So good! Okay, let's make that happen. Make it happen! 

Liz:  Because we've established that CBS is paying so much attention to our ideas. 

Anika:  Obviously, they listen to us all the time. 

Liz:  [laughs] So do you think it would be weird to be treated by an emergency medical hologram that looks exactly like you?

Anika:  Uh, yes! Yes, it would. However, this is -- okay, so it's been established that you don't have to have them all look like you. That you can buy this program, and you can choose whatever you want them all to look like. And he chose to keep it himself. 

Liz:  [giggling]

Anika:  Which is a whole layer of interesting on Mr Rios. But I would hate to be treated or joined in -- like, okay, that's not true, I think that, for the navigation -- if I wanted to have a bridge crew, I can imagine a bridge crew of just me. And that would be kind of cool, I'll be honest. 

Liz:  [laughs]

Anika:  As I was saying it, I was like, wait, no, actually, I would like that. But for doctoring, it's like I want to trust that they are going to be able to figure it out and take care of me and stuff. And I don't. Because I have some medical training, I am certified in CPR and first aid, I have enough healthcare training to work with developmentally disabled populations in their home. So I'm a -- I forget what I'm called. Oh, I'm a nurse delegate, I'm a nurse delegate. 

Liz:  Oh, nice! What a good title!

Anika:  That doesn't mean I have any nursing. And it certainly doesn't mean I have any medical training, actual, you know, take-care-of-a-person training. That's twelve years. So I wouldn't want the person to look like me, I wouldn't want my doctor to look like me, even if it was a computer. I would want it to look like Dr House. You know, someone I can trust to take care of me. 

Liz:  Yeah, I was thinking -- because I sprained my wrist on Sunday, and on Thursday, I finally went, "Hey, this really hurts, maybe I should see someone about it?" So I had to go to an actual doctor's surgery, and it occurred to me as I was walking in that I kind of have an idea of what's wrong, and I really just want someone with training and authority to say, "Yes, this is wrong, and you are doing the right thing." And that's what I want from a doctor, and I don't want the doctor to look like me, because then I won't trust them.

Anika:  Exactly. That's just crazy, Mr Rios. 

Liz:  But I think, also, as a character note, it kind of suggests that he trusts himself more than--

Anika:  Only himself. Only himself. 

Liz:  Yeah! 

Anika:  And I absolutely believe that, I absolutely believe it. I absolutely believe that he only trusts himself. He's a Gryffindor. It's very much his trait, I get it. 

Liz:  Yes. 

Anika:  I am not a Gryffindor, so--

Liz:  [laughs]

Anika:  --therefore--

Liz:  I am a very sensible Hufflepuff, and I believe in trusting people with proper training. 

So after the list of doctors, we have a list of nurses. And it's a lot shorter. It's Chapel, Ogawa, Kes, Paris. 

Anika:  Okay, so can we start with Paris? Because I had to include him, because I find it hilarious that he is the closest thing that Voyager has to a nurse once Kes leaves.

Liz:  And we never see him going through any training to improve his skills. 

Anika:  Yeah, there's like three episodes where he even does anything in sickbay. But the conceit, if I recall correctly, is that he got a B+ in biochemistry at the Academy, and therefore he can be the nurse. 

Liz:  Yyyyyyeah.

Anika:  That is terrible on every level. 

Liz:  So this is my whole nursing rant, that nursing is not treated as a profession that requires training and qualifications. Like, Kes is being trained to be a doctor, Chapel was studying to be a doctor and then left to become a nurse and run off after her fiance, and Ogawa's professional arc is actually where Beverly goes, "Oh yeah, you're doing great, let's talk about boys." 

And I think one thing that the whole Covid thing has really brought home is how much we need nurses. It's all very well that all your doctors are holograms or droids or whatever, but who is changing the bedpans and giving the sponge baths, and -- you know, even if your biobed puts out the vital signs on a little screen, who is there to read and understand them? 

Anika:  Right.

Liz:  And I guess Star Trek takes this [attitude] of, "Oh, the doctors will do it!" But we know that that's not how real life works, and it really troubles me that we see so few nurses, and they're so relatively disregarded. And it's a joke that Paris is a man, and a ladies man, and a nurse. And Kes and Chapel are "failed doctors" or "doctors-to-be". 

Nursing gets a lot of disrespect. 

Anika:  It's terrible. 

Liz:  I would like to see better depictions of nurses in Star Trek. 

Anika:  So I love medical dramas. I love to watch them. And my favourite is ER. So this comes up in ER, because -- so my favourite in ER is Carol Hawaway (Juliana Margulies), and she is a nurse. And she is the heart, you know, at the beginning of that series. And it's very clear that, as much as the doctors work hard and care about their patients, and take care of them, it's the nurses who really take care of their patients. They're the face of the ER. They're the people who you're going to see over and over again, the three hours that you're there. They're doing all the -- like, the doctor says, "Do this thing," and then the nurse does it. 

Liz:  Yes!

Anika:  So Carol has this arc where she decides that she wants to be a doctor, because she never thought she could. Like, she wasn't good enough to be a doctor, so she became a nurse, but now she realises that she is good enough to be a doctor, so she takes the MCATs and she's going to become a doctor. 

And then, after passing, and Kerry starts treating her like a med student, and starts respecting her in a way that she had never respected her as the chief nurse, even though she was the most senior nurse, and she was there before Kerry even began -- she realises that she wants to have that patient interaction, she wants to be the face of the ER, she wants to be the heart of everything, she wants to actually take care of people, and not be a doctor. So she decides to stay a nurse. 

And then she gives up her career to go join Doug in Seattle. And, obviously, she doesn't give up her career, she just moves it to Seattle, but that's what she's remembered for? She went after her boyfriend. 

Liz:  [laughs]

Anika:  And then Abby Lockhart, who is introduced in Carol's last season, has the same progression. 

Liz:  Oh my God.

Anika:  She is a nurse who wanted to be a doctor, but gave it up and decided to become a nurse, but she really wants to be a doctor. And she has this whole thing where she's like, no, nursing is great, and she has a whole speech about it, how it's really wonderful and important, and it's valid, and just as important as being a doctor. But then she becomes a doctor. And is a doctor for the rest of the series, and that's what she's best remembered for, as the nurse who became a doctor. 

And it's like, that progression, those two storylines, the way they echo each other, and the way that Carol is remembered for her relationship with Doug, but Abby is remembered for being a nurse who became a doctor -- it just upsets me, because nothing against those characters, and nothing against a nurse who wants to become a doctor, like, sure, great. But there are plenty of people who actually wanted to be nurses. Who chose to be a nurse. And they do have that patient interaction, and they do matter as much as a doctor. And it's just sort of threatening to have this idea that (a) nurse can just become a doctor if they take a couple more years, or whatever. 

Liz:  If they want it enough.

Anika:  Yeah, if they want it enough. And that just being a nurse isn't a good enough end goal. Like, of course it is. 

Liz:  Right, there's this idea that professional success for a nurse is becoming a doctor. 

Anika:  Exactly.

Liz:  We even see it a bit in Doctor Who, with Rory -- and I love Rory, and it is so rare to see a male nurse in media, but even in "Amy's Choice", that sort of wish-fulfilment universe, he's … a doctor! And, granted, he's a gerontologist, which is, like, one of the hardest forms of medicine around, and one that requires the most care, but … you know. A nurse is a not a failed doctor.

Anika:  No, it's a completely separate job. They work together as a team to take care of people. If there were only doctors, a lot of stuff wouldn't get done. Because the doctors don't even know how to do that. 

Liz:  Exactly. Right. 

Anika:  Because it's not their job. The things that the nurses do are real skills, they have real significance, and it's mindboggling. And, you know, we were saying that you could replace the doctors with the holograms, or with a droid, and it would be harder to replace the nurse. 

Liz:  Yeah. I know Deep Space 9 had a rotating cast of Bajoran nurses -- and that's the other thing, you know, the Bajorans aren't doctors, they're nurses. But we rarely see nurses as characters, save for Ogawa and Chapel. 

Anika:  And, as you said, both of their characterisations are much more about their personal lives than their nursing. 

Liz:  Yeah. And it's just frustrating! I would like to see more! 

What I would actually like -- I was thinking, in the wake of the Strange New Worlds announcement, which we will discuss in detail at a future time -- but what I would be doing, if I was in charge of Star Trek (still waiting for that phone call), I would be looking at about two short series a year. Three to six episodes, just doing a deep dive into an aspect of the Star Trek universe. And one of them would be, like, Star Trek: Pasteur, starring Gates McFadden as the captain of a medical ship, and basically doing a medical drama in space.

Anika:  That would be great. 

Liz:  I knew you would love the idea.

Anika:  They would go to planets that were having an outbreak, and they would have to take care of them, and it would just be amazing. 

Liz:  Yeah! 'Cos I watched -- as research for this episode, I watched "The Child" and I watched "Ethics", so two Next Generation episodes, and both involved the Enterprise dealing with a medical emergency outside of itself. You know, there's a spaceship crash and a plague. And it would be cool to see those stories stretched out over several episodes. 

Anika:  I would love that.

Liz:  And I don't think this concept would sustain a full 13-episode series, but I think three to six episodes, and the sort of thing where you can reuse a lot of sets for the next one, and … yeah. Again, CBS, why do you not have me on speed dial? My lack of experience is no impediment whatsoever! 

Anika:  We would definitely give the nurses their due! 

Liz:  We would! And I think it would be really cool to see, you know, are there doctors who specialise in a particular race, or a particular type of race? And what if it's the 2390s and you're a Romulan and you're serving on a Starfleet medical ship? How does Beverly adjust from being a chief medical officer to a captain? 

Anika:  And in "Ethics", it's almost a throwaway line, but it's really kind of incredible to me that they have this conversation about how, "Oh well, I called the Klingons to get their opinions, since Worf is a Klingon," and they were like, "Well, we would let him die." And it's just -- wow, okay! Cool medicine there, Klingons! 

Liz:  [giggles]

Anika:  Yikes! 

Liz:  Yeah. My favourite fact about "Ethics" was that one wheelchair-using writer was so incensed by this depiction of Klingon ableism that he wrote the Deep Space 9 episode "Melora" because he wanted to depict a character whose use of a wheelchair wasn't something to be pitied. 

Anika:  Right, because it also happens with Captain Pike. 

Liz:  Right! Right. And I think what this guy was saying was really interesting, that it is a reasonable point of worldbuilding and detail for the Klingon culture, but at the same time, this attitude that the severely disabled deserve to die is present among humans, so it's not nice to see it in fiction.

Anika:  And we talked last week about how the Romulan was like, "Oh well, you know…"

Liz:  Yeah.

Anika:  "...you're blind, so we'd kill you, too." And it's just, like, okay, I understand that they're trying to make a line between the humans, who are good, and believe in medicine, or something, I guess, and then these other races. But if these races are supposed to be our equals, and we have a treaty with them, and they're on par with us, and that's their attitude? It's a little -- okay, maybe we need to -- it's another one of those things where we're like, "Star Trek, you need to explore that a little bit more." 

Liz:  Right, it's an interesting and complicated issue, but you need to do more. And I think it's touched on in Star Trek VI, in the wonderful dinner party scene where -- I think it's Chekov who asks about the human rights violations in the Klingon Empire. And Azetbur deflects it by pointing out that the very term is racist -- which it is, in this context, and I love her for that, but the question is never answered. 

"Ethics" was a really interesting episode for me to watch as an adult because, um, this is embarrassing to admit, but before she retired, my mother was a professional pro-life lobbyist?

Anika:  Okay…

Liz:  But this whole end-of-life, assisted suicide thing, you know, really got her fired up. So it was quite interesting to come back and watch it as an adult and go, "Okay, yes, this is not really an episode -- air quotes-- 'about assisted suicide', it's more like the clash between culturally appropriate medicine versus … not. Because -- I think this is one of the criticisms someone had on Twitter, of Beverly, that she is very paternalistic in her approach to patients from other cultures. 

Anika:  Which is true.

Liz:  And Worf often bears the brunt of it, like that terrible episode where she's pressuring him into donating blood to a Romulan, and he straight up doesn't consent. Which is his right. So "Ethics" was a really -- I really enjoyed watching it, actually! Partially because, like Dr Toby Russell is a woman, and you so rarely see women as unrepentantly amoral scientists in Star Trek. Also, the actress bears an uncanny resemblance to Hillary Clinton in that era, and I just found that slightly funny.

Anika:  She totally does!

Liz:  No one talks about that time Hillary Clinton was in Star Trek!

Anika:  I spent the entire episode going, "Why do I know you? Where do I know you from?" But you're right, that's absolutely true, she was very Hillary Clinton-esque. 

Liz:  I went so far as to look up the actress's IMDB to see what else she'd been in, and I couldn't place her after that, and then she just hit the right angle. And the way her hair sat, and everything, I was like, ohhhh, that's the first lady. 

Anika:  I like it. And I kind of -- she was totally a Hillary Clinton type character, too!

Liz:  Right!

Anika:  So I'm into this! It works!

Liz:  Particularly that very '90s idea of her as this terrible woman who puts her profession above humanity. And we can talk about whether or not that's fair to Clinton, but I think it makes for a really interesting character, and a really interesting foil for Beverly. And, yeah, we rarely see that type as a woman in Star Trek. 

Anika:  Yeah. The story that's told in "Ethics" is similar to the one that's told in "Nothing Human" in Voyager. And what's interesting about it is that the character that she is an analogue for in "Nothing Human" is a genocidal maniac Nazi doctor. That's what he is. So it's really kind of terrible to say those are the same. Because they're not. She is not a Nazi, she is not prioritising medicine over people as a whole. There are layers to her. 

Liz:  She's not doing it on an industrial scale. But at the same time, she has looked at this severely disabled and deeply depressed man and gone, "Yes, that is the guy, the perfect target for my unethical experiment." 

Anika:  For my experimental … yeah.

Liz:  Spine replicator. 

Anika:  It's interesting.

Liz:  Yeah. 

Anika:  And then I also mentioned "Miri", which -- I don't know if you've seen "Miri" lately…

Liz:  I have not seen "Miri" for quite a few years.

Anika:  It's a bad episode! I don't suggest you--

Liz:  I remember it being a bit creepy.

Anika:  Don't watch it on purpose. 

Liz:  Is that the episode where a teenage girl falls in love with Kirk?

Anika:  Yes.

Liz:  And he handles it about as well as you could in the 1960s?

Anika:  It's bad on every level. But it's an episode where there's a disease that only attacks adults. So Miri, towards the end of the episode, starts showing episodes of this disease because she's gone through puberty. So it's kind of terrifying that a girl who has not yet gone through puberty is flirting with Captain Kirk. But. 

Liz:  It was the '60s! [cry-laughing]

Anika: And everything about -- yeah, it's a bad episode. It's a very bad episode. But the idea is that there's this disease, and McCoy is trying to come up with a cure and vaccine. I mean, this happens a lot in Star Trek, this whole, "We're gonna come up with this cure and this vaccine for this disease, and it's gonna happen in this 45-minute episode. It's gonna be great, and it's gonna work by the end." That is not how that works. Even with time jumps, like in "The Quickening", where it's a month, it's still -- no. It takes over a year for this to actually happen. But that's fine. 

Liz:  And we have all become experts in the timeline of vaccine development. 

Anika:  Right. McCoy successfully comes up with his hypospray of magic that is going to fix it, and he injects it into himself. Because that's what you do when you're McCoy. 

Liz:  [literally does a spittake??? Apparently I found this really funny!]

Anika:  It's like, he refuses to inject it in anyone else, because it's untested, because he has some semblance of, you know, understanding of reality, and knows that it couldn't possibly actually be the cure. But he injects it into himself. So I like to look at these three episodes, and they bring up these questions of medical ethics and how you address -- and the idea of experimentation on willing or unwilling participants. It's interesting! As a little -- like, these are the different ways that we look at it. And it's interesting that, in all three cases, they end up doing it, because they decide that the risk is worth it.

Liz:  I feel like going, "Oh, we found a potential cure, but we're not going to test it because that would be really dangerous--" it just makes for a very unsatisfying story. And I don't think anyone except possibly you or me would be entertained by "The Federation Ethics Board" and "This is the paper I wrote to substantiate my research" and "Here are my test subjects". 

Anika:  You're right, I would be interested in that. I would be more interested in that than an argument between Beverly and -- I forget her name. 

Liz:  Toby Russell.

Anika:  Toby Russell. Like, in the hallway of the Enterprise, you know, for, like, back and forth for three lines, and then Beverly's like, "You're fired." It's interesting for the characters, but there's a better story somewhere. 

Liz:  Right.

Anika:  There's more to that, I want to see more of it. And, of course, I hate -- sorry to Worf, but I hate the ending, where Worf dies but doesn't die. That is-- [laughs]

Liz:  I like it better now that we know just how stupidly redundant Klingon systems are, thanks to Discovery, and showing us more of them. But I do have to wonder when Klingon medicine regressed from, "Hey, we can turn this guy into a human" in the 23rd century to "Just let him die." 

Anika:  Yeah.

Liz:  "We don't want him."

Anika:  That's the other thing, like, Klingon physiology and Klingon medicine do not make sense together. It does not make sense. How can you have--

Liz:  They're bodies are so sophisticated--

Anika:  Right.

Liz:  --that they should have much more sophisticated medicine to deal with them. 

Anika:  And they have less, they have more primitive medicine. It's very strange. And this is another thing, I really wish that, in all of the many, many Klingon episodes -- there are so many Klingon episodes! 

Liz:  There are a lot.

Anika:  I wish that any of them dealt with these questions of Klingons who are not warriors, Klingons who are scientists and want to be scientists, Klingons who are engineers and want to be engineers, and how they are looked down upon in their society. Klingon society is so strange, the way that it has been presented, and this idea that only a warrior -- only a soldier has value, when--

Liz:  I think we sort of see that now, where -- you know, people like grocery workers and delivery drivers, and nurses and teachers, are just completely devalued until suddenly they're "essential". And people who have spent their lives stocking up on guns, or whatever, to "protect their families" can't cope with protecting their families by staying in and wearing a mask. 

So I can sort of see that, but there's also an episode of Enterprise which, I think, touches on it. I'm blanking on the title, but it's the second season episode where Archer and … someone or other … are put on trial, and it's all a big knock-off of the trial scene in Star Trek VI. 

Anika:  Right, yes. 

Liz:  But J G Hertzler plays the Klingon lawyer, and he has this speech about how the Klingon Empire is in decline because they have over-valued their warriors, and one day this is going to come back and bite them. And I think, 200 years later, that is still the problem that they're facing. 

Anika:  It's definitely the problem. And there are great tie-in novels about Klingons who are not warriors, that I love, and I wish that was represented. Because the Klingons that I'm interested in are the ones who poke at Klingon culture, and say, why is this like this? 

Liz:  Yeah! Which I think is the case with any story. And maybe Strange New Worlds will give us a bit of that? 

Anika:  Maybe.

Liz:  I'm trying to be optimistic, because my initial reaction to its announcement was so negative. But we can talk about that next time. You have a list of counsellors here. 

Anika:  Yes! I like to remind everyone that counsellors are part of the medical system. 

Liz:  They are, and we have two psychiatrists in Dr Elizabeth Dehner and Admiral Katrina Cornwell, and two psychologists in Troi and Ezri. What do you think happened to psychiatry after the 23rd century? 

Anika:  [laughs] That's a good question. I guess -- I mean, it might be as simple as saying -- as you said with the doctors -- as society changed, so did Star Trek. Because I would say that, certainly in this day and age, the people that you go to see in therapy tend to not be the people who give you the medication.

Liz:  Yeah, the psychiatrists dispense and the psychologists counsel. 

Anika:  Exactly. So I think that it's -- it used to be, it was the psychiatrist. And it was very clinical. And it's become much more about therapy, and talk therapy, and cognitive -- like, all of this stuff, cognitive behavioural therapy. It's become more than just fixing your biochemistry.

Liz:  Right.

Anika:  And I think that shift is the same. 

Liz:  I suspect there's also a reluctance to get into too much detail with the nitty gritty of futuristic psychopharmaceuticals. Because, for one thing, if someone's problem can be fixed by manually adjusting their brain chemistry, that's a very short story. But then there's things like Lorca's trauma, or Lorca's so-called PTSD, which should have been detectable -- like, it would be detectable in an MRI now. 

Anika:  Absolutely. Well, this is super interesting to me, as you might suggest. 

Liz:  I believe you literally did a thesis on it. 

Anika:  Yes. I did. So it's interesting to me as a student, as an academic, and it's also interesting to me as a person, like, on a personal level, as someone who was sort of raised to be -- my family wasn't really into therapy. I should -- my father wasn't into therapy. He thought that was not a thing. And I really, really needed therapy! And so did he. [laughs] 

And I didn't get any until I became an adult and could get it for myself. And then I had a whole decade-long awakening, or whatever, I worked really hard to become comfortable with my mental stability, to figure out how to live in my brain for the rest of my life. Because I can't change my brain. 

Yes, medication stabilises, medication can address issues that are actually chemical, which are very, very prevalent, and which anybody who has any kind of trauma, it's a part of it. Because trauma changes your brain, that's what happens. And so the medication adjusts that. But the medication doesn't help you address the trauma itself. What happens to you. You need both.

Liz:  It's not a band-aid, but you need to learn new ways of thinking as well.

Anika:  So I like that Troi and Ezri are talk therapists. I think that that is hugely important and vital, and we need as many representations of that as we can get in any media. Not just Star Trek, not just sci-fi. Anything. All of it. Before all conventions were cancelled this year, I was shopping around a panel that I entitled Saving The World Isn't Therapy.

Liz:  [laughs]

Anika:  And the idea was that, if you look at -- I was focusing on young adults. Because, you know, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, look at them and they're like, these are 17-year-old people who are expected to save everything. Even Star Wars, they're all 19. It's just crazy.

Liz:  Right! I'm watching The Clone Wars, and I'm going, Ahsoka is 14 years old, she should not be doing this! 

Anika:  It's like, what is going on?! And anime -- oh my gosh. They're all 13 through 17 years old in all of these things, and they are expected to be acting as superheroes. And even adults who are superheroes desperately need therapy. That's what Iron Man 3 is all about, which is great. I love that they're starting to realise that these things are important. 

But I think that it's definitely true in Starfleet, like, you need a counsellor. And that's why I love the fact that Elizabeth Dehner exists, because at least saying, like, in the pilot of this series, we are saying we need someone who cares about mental health. Because going out to explore strange new worlds, where no man has gone before? You need someone to help you deal with what you find. 

Liz:  Right! And it makes sense that it would be a psychiatrist at this stage, because they can sort of do the empirical stuff and set up a baseline, and build the map on which the psychologists can travel.

Anika:  I love that. I love that she exists. And I love -- I've said many times that Ezri is the character where I sat up and said, "I want to be here!" And I love that she is a counsellor. I get annoyed with people who say she only became interesting when she started caring about command, because--

Liz:  No! No!

Anika:  --much like the nurses, it's like, counselling is vital and important and needed.

Liz:  Yes!

Anika:  It's great that Counsellor Troi becomes a commander, and takes the test, and does all of that, and deals with it, and proves that she can do it, but she didn't need to. She was still super important and necessary to the show and to the ship before she did that.

Liz:  Right. And I was also going to say, with the echo of the nurses thing, I love that Beverly becomes a captain in "All Good Things…", but that is not what she has to do to be successful in her career, and you don't have to go to Command. And with Ezri and Kat, it's not that they went to command instead of mental health, it's that they brought their mental health skills into Command. 

Anika:  Exactly. And they would be so good at it. It's like, of course you went into Command, because you had the skills, you had so much better skills than someone like -- oh, let's talk about Archer! My favourite trash captain has none of those interpersonal skills. He's super charming, but he is not good with people. 

Liz:  Noooooo.

Anika:  So the idea that he would be valued over a Cornwell is ridiculous to me.

Liz:  One of the things that made me sit up and take notice of Cornwell in "Choose Your Pain" is the way she is speaking about Starfleet morale, and the needs of the fleet -- the people within the fleet, and also about Michael, and how she draws the distinction between Michael being scapegoated for the war and Michael being actually responsible for it. And that clearly comes from her background in psychiatry and mental healthcare, and it really sets her apart from all the other admirals we've ever seen. 

Anika:  Right. Right. It's amazing, and I love it. 

Liz:  Yeah.

Anika:  Kat, I just--

Liz:  I mean, spoilers, we love Kat a lot.

Anika:  I love every counsellor. I love Troi, I love Ezri, I love Kat. I even love Elizabeth Dehner, and I get upset that her only episode is, again, all about a man that she happened to fall in love with, and it destroyed her life.

Liz:  Maybe she can be a regular in Strange New Worlds. Seems like a good role for Anna Torv.

Anika:  Oh my gosh. I would love -- I would love -- I was really mad when Carol Marcus ended up in Into Darkness instead of Elizabeth Dehner. Because she had the haircut, and so everyone was saying that she was going to be Elizabeth Dehner, and I was like, oh my God. All I want is for Elizabeth Dehner to be a big thing. 

Liz:  There was a rumour going around before Into Darkness came out that the whole Khan thing was a fake-out, and that Benedict Cumberbatch was actually playing Gary Mitchell--

Anika:  Gary Mitchell, right.

Liz:  And I really liked the idea that Kirk's all-American best friend was now this weedy Englishman. And I really -- I don't like Into Darkness, and I really wish we'd gotten that movie instead. Once again, I like the Star Trek in my head better than canon. 

Anika:  Alice Eve would have been a great Elizabeth Dehner. And, honestly, I like her Carol Marcus. But it would have been so much more interesting if it was Gary Mitchell and Elizabeth Dehner than--

Liz:  Right. Because, if nothing else, Khan is just done to death.

Anika:  I'm tired and I don't care. 

Liz:  Do we want to talk about medtech? That's the final point on our list that we haven't covered. 

Anika:  I just think it's amazing that Star Trek has really -- there are biobeds, there are people who are working on tricorders, there are people who are working on hyposprays. All of these things, they're trying to create. 

Liz:  It's amazing, yeah. 

Anika:  That's true across all of Star Trek, but the medical technology that they are -- I have a friend who is literally working on a project that is basically a biobed. He is trying to make biobeds.

Liz:  That's amazing.

Anika:  It's incredible to me! Can you imagine how helpful it would be to have a biobed right now? To have someone -- you lie down, and it takes your temperature, and it tells you your vitals, without hooking anything up, and it says, you know, "These are the four diseases that are probable." It would be so incredible to have even a tenth of that technology. 

So the fact that people are inspired by Star Trek to try to create it -- Gates McFadden has talked about how she is kept in the loop about medical tricorders. People just send her emails, like, "Here's the quarterly report on our research into a medical tricorder." And she's like, "I don't understand any of this, but it's amazing that you are doing it, and that they -- it's inspiring that they have been inspired by the work that I've done." It's incredible. 

So I love that, and I just -- as much as I have been saying that I worry that technology is encroaching on human interaction in medicine, I think that if used -- instead of as a replacement, but as something to make doctors better at their job, to make it easier to be a doctor, easier to have the human interactions -- we should support that in every way.

Liz:  Absolutely. I went to my local hospital a month or so ago, to drop off some masks we had accidentally stockpiled after the bushfires. And they just waved a thing and took my temperature from centimetres away. And it was amazing! And I was like, oh, this is so futuristic! And then, you know, you apply the hand sanitiser, and you mask up, and -- yeah. 

[This is where I seamlessly cut about nine minutes of talking about Covid]

Anyway, we've gone very far off-topic, and probably I'm about to cut all of this Covid stuff [See? Seamless!] because it'll probably bring people down a bit. But! [laughs] "I signed up for a Star Trek podcast! About medicine in Star Trek! Why are they talking about a terrible disease? 

Anika:  This is what our life is right now, and I think it's valid. That's just my opinion.

Liz:  I think it is, too.

Anika:  I will say that I watched "Critical Care" for this episode.

Liz:  Oh yes!

Anika:  And that's an episode -- and this is true of all my -- I said that I love watching medical dramas, right? So ER is old, now, okay? And yet, in the first season, they had storylines that dealt with how terrible healthcare insurance is, and how awful the idea of some people getting better healthcare because they can afford it is. 

Liz:  Yeah. 

Anika:  And that's true in every medical drama. And it's usually in the first season. These are things that, if you're writing a medical drama, if you're writing about anything that has to do with it--

Liz:  It's the cliche you need to get out of the way. 

Anika:  Yeah, you have to acknowledge the fact that our healthcare system is horrible. And "Critical Care" is literally about deciding, this person is more useful to society, and so, therefore, they will get better care. 

Liz:  And the thing is, it seems like a very uncontroversial thing to say, but then you have the current state of American politics with regards to public healthcare? 

Anika:  And it's literally happening right now. There are plenty of people who are publishing their personal stories about, "I'm a doctor in Minnesota, and I'm dealing with Covid patients, and we are deciding which ones get the ICU beds and which ones don't." Based on who they are, and what they can afford, where they are in their life -- and it's horrible to think that -- but it's also, like, I feel for these people who are in the hospital, who have to make those decisions because they don't have enough space. Because no one cared to fix it before the fact.

Liz:  Yeah, or, "That hospital wasn't making a profit, so that's closed down, so all the patients in this town have to go to this other hospital, further away, that's overwhelmed because suddenly it's dealing with two populations instead of one." 

Anika:  And also there's the 36 million people, or whatever, who filed for unemployment. Which means that they don't have a job, which means they don't have healthcare. 

Liz:  Right!

Anika:  It is the worst possible scenario for so many people. 

Liz:  No, it's terrible.

Anika:  And I want to be like the -- you know, I'm not the EMH, but I can be the little guy who's in the ward, who's doing his best with no equipment and no medication, and barely minimum training to try to do the best he can do. And it's just, like, ooh. That episode was really hard to watch in the current environment. It was hard to watch back in 1998, or whatever, and it was super hard to watch today. 

Liz:  It's not as if anything's gotten better.

Anika:  No, it's gotten much worse. And it's upsetting. And the fact that it's still controversial to say that healthcare is a right? 

Liz:  Yeah. And that's controversial here, too! We have a really good public healthcare system, but our government thinks we would be much better off with an American style one. 

Anika:  Remember earlier in this conversation, I said that I didn't get mental healthcare until I was an adult and could ask for it. I also was no longer on my father's insurance, and I was on public insurance at that point. Because I didn't have a job. And I got it. And it covered everything. That one moment in time -- and I don't think it's true of -- I think that the Connecticut Husky plan has changed since I was on it. And the fact that I was in this golden age of healthcare for two years, the one time that I desperately needed it, this is why I want to be Ezri, and I want to be a counsellor, and I want to help people, it's because I know that it's so hard to get the help you need. 

Liz:  And it is here, too, it is actually harder to access mental healthcare in Australia than America. Which is not usually the way we expect it to go. Anyway…

Anika:  Yeah, so, sorry to get super political, but healthcare is a right, it should be free, people are terrible, especially right now, in the middle of a pandemic. You should just get to be taken care of, the end. 

Liz:  Star Trek is optimistic! Which is the sort of attitude that I usually rant about, but I'll let it stand for now. It's 45 minutes and we've cured a disease.

Anika:  In "Critical Care", it ends with the terrible jerk doctor and the overworked, undertrained doctor working together to take down the administrator. And it's like, well, that wouldn't happen! But it's a nice story. But, of course, at the end of the episode, Voyager leaves, the Doctor leaves, what happens on that planet? Probably those three people lose their job, and then everything is status quo and it's horrible. 

Liz:  [heavy sigh]

Anika:  I wish I was optimistic! 

Liz:  [laughs] Yeah.

Anika:  But I'm an idealist, I'm not optimistic. There's a very big difference. There's a big difference between idealism and optimism.

Liz:  That is the rant that I've been trying to articulate! 

Anika:  I say I'm a Slytherin, which is an idealist, I am not an optimist. 

Liz:  [laughs] Okay. Thank you for listening to Antimatter Pod. 

You can find our show notes at antimatterpod.tumblr.com, including links to our social media and credits for our theme music.

You can also follow us on Twitter at @antimatterpod. Sometimes we post cat pictures, and questions for our audience.

If you like us, leave a review on apple podcasts or wherever you consume your podcasts -- the more reviews, the easier it is for new listeners to find us. 

And join us in two weeks when we’ll be discussing the newly announced Strange New Worlds.

Anika:  Woooo!

Liz:  Is it? Is it really? 

Anika:  [laughs] Look, Number One and Spock are gonna make out. It's gonna happen. 

Liz:  If they're going for an episodic, old series sort of vibe, then sooner or later there'll be sex pollen. That's the rules. 

Anika:  Exactly. There will be a reason. 

Liz:  And an episode where someone gets turned into a lizard. REAL STAR TREK.

Anika:  REAL STAR TREK! 

[end]

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Ava

Buster: What time's your flight then? Ava: To where? Buster: Back here Ava: I didn't know you were doing anything Buster: You're talking to me, not Nance, you do realise that, yeah? Ava: As if she's ever in my inbox to make that mistake 🙄😅 Buster: Exactly, so if you wanna have another go at an excuse, here's your chance, like Ava: You should consider doing invites Ava: where was I meant to RSVP and when Buster: Hilarious Buster: it happens the same time every year, you know Ava: Aren't you doing something with Ri and the kids? Ava: you can't bring a baby to a piss up Buster: Oh, you reckon you're gonna tell me how to raise my kids now just 'cause he's got you doing it Ava: Um, calm down Ava: I was literally just saying I didn't think you were having a party, that's all Ava: so I haven't booked a flight, I'll come see you after Buster: And I'm saying who knew switching your loyalties made you forget how this family does shit Ava: You sound so dumb Buster: Says you Buster: at least I know how to avoid doublebooking Ava: I think her first birthday is a bit more important than your whatever one Ava: it's not doublebooking because I haven't booked anything Buster: To him, of course Buster: what's it to you? Ava: What do you mean what's it to me? Buster: you know what I mean Buster: you ain't her mother, Ava Ava: No, really? Ava: I'm aware, thanks Ava: I can still care, I'm not a psychopath Buster: I'm not saying don't, it's obvious how much you care from how much you've already done Ava: It's not a big deal Ava: party planners are expensive and a waste if you can do it yourself Buster: It's not about you helping him with the party Buster: that wouldn't be a big deal Ava: Go on then Ava: get it all out now Buster: you need to take your own advice and calm down Ava: I'm good Ava: and I know what I'm doing Buster: well then, you should know to leave your ego out of it Ava: MY ego? Ava: okay, take your own advice about taking your own advice Ava: I'm helping out because he needs help, not because I wanna make it all about me, jesus Buster: Like I said, it ain't just about the party Buster: and if he needs that much help, you need to talk to me Ava: Why would I? Ava: you know where to get party bags? Ava: it IS about a party, that's all it is, you're trying to make it into something else Buster: Bullshit is it, you've known him for 5 minutes and during that 5 minutes he's got you doing everything for him Ava: You don't know anything about him or about our situation Ava: he didn't even want me to help, or ask, never mind make me Buster: you wish, he's looking after my kid, I know loads about the situation Ava: she's not suddenly your kid on Chlo's say so Ava: and he's not a babysitter Buster: Nah, she's been mine this entire time Ava: Biologically Ava: and the fact you don't know her isn't his fault Ava: or what this is about Buster: I'm not fucking blaming him for that Ava: aren't you? Buster: Grow up and keep up Buster: if he can't cope with everything that's going on, he should come to me, not you Ava: I'm not the one throwing a strop because my birthday party is a person down, so don't patronize me Ava: or presume about how he's coping Ava: like you're organizing the kid's parties when you're snowed under with work and school Ava: Ri does it all Buster: Don't patronise or underestimate me Buster: if I were snowed under with anything, I'd handle it instead of handing it all over to a kid, which you still are Ava: how about I just wanted to plan a party? Ava: it's fun Ava: you're literally pulling this out of nowhere Buster: I'm glad you're having fun now Ava: oh, shut up Buster: I'm serious, when it ain't parties and you're sick of being their stand in mum, what's your plan? Buster: you can't suddenly take a step back after being all in, that'd come out of nowhere Ava: As if I'm that sort of person, first of all Ava: and secondly, as if James isn't capable of taking the relevant precautions himself to stop his own kids from getting hurt Ava: you aren't the only person in the world who cares, you know Buster: I ain't seen my own daughter yet 'cause I don't wanna mess with her head so you've got the wrong bloke if you believe for 1 second I'm gonna let anyone else Buster: I don't care who it is or what the reasons are Ava: That's all well and good but it's a bit late for the noble act Ava: why the hell did you leave it if you care so much Ava: because it was easier for you, and that's the truth Buster: She lied to me and to him, I shouldn't have to fucking remind you Buster: I didn't leave anything Ava: Yes, you did Ava: she still told you that the baby was yours, and then you took her on her word second time 'round Ava: you can't change the fact that he's been there and you haven't, so you can cut him some fucking slack Buster: you only know his side and that's why you're taking it Ava: That isn't his side, he didn't know about any of that Ava: that's what happened Ava: and yes, it's shit for you, but it is for him as well and you need to worry about how the fuck you're coping, not the other way 'round Buster: if you had any idea what happened you wouldn't be talking to me like that Ava: I'm not talking to you any worse than you're talking to me Ava: if you don't like it, you know where to start Buster: you have control over this, you chose it Buster: I'm trying to help you and you're trying to shit on me Buster: it ain't the same Ava: You're trying to tell me what to do Ava: which is literally what you're claiming to be so against Ava: you're just mad I'm not going to listen because you don't actually know what you're talking about Buster: I'm trying to tell you to think about what you are doing, which you're only so against 'cause you haven't Buster: this fucking whirlwind is all well and good 'til it's got my kid and sister in the middle of it Ava: You wish Ava: I know what I'm doing and so does James Ava: you just don't like it Ava: Jay is as fine as she possibly could be, given the circumstances Ava: and I can look after myself, thank you Buster: Yeah I know, but the entire point is, it's a good job you can Buster: 'course I don't like it, why would I? Ava: Good thing you liking it has nothing to do with the outcome Ava: you can get over it Buster: you already know what the outcome will be as far as you trying to tell me what to do, you can stop Ava: How you choose to waste your time isn't a concern of mine Buster: Lucky you Ava: Whatever Ava: you care when it suits you Buster: I care, full stop Buster: you still ain't talking to the other twin Ava: I know I'm doing the right thing, and what's right for me Ava: and that's all there is to it Buster: And like I said, I'm glad Buster: I just don't want you to look back on it differently, I'm not apologising for that, like Ava: It's pointless Ava: you don't live your life in reverse Ava: people get together and have kids of their own and separate, that's life Ava: you could have got with Rio and that could've not worked Ava: it's bullshit if you think I'm not going to do what I want at the time, for a future what-if, end of Buster: Me and Rio are nothing like you and him Buster: you're full of shit if you think I'm not gonna tell you to slow down Ava: Yeah, it's worse Ava: I wouldn't be under any obligation to see him Ava: you can say what you like but why you expect me to listen is beyond me Buster: Just your niece Buster: And what, you're just gonna leave the other one then, yeah? Ava: I have literally no intention of going anywhere Ava: you're the one concerned with these hypotheticals Ava: I'm focused on the now, my actual plans Buster: 'Cause you're not concerned enough Buster: you don't get the luxury of focusing solely on the now or your plans if you ain't going anywhere Ava: They aren't my kids, as you've said multiple times Ava: and neither of us are pretending they are Buster: What about them? You're there and she ain't Ava: Jay is seven, she's old enough to know what's going on Ava: and Mattie will be told when she's old enough too Buster: Alright Ava: James and the girls have their own plans, and I have mine Ava: it's making them work together, not swapping one for the other Buster: Good Buster: I'm doing my best to make it work with him as well Ava: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Ava: That's good Buster: Good ain't the word for it right now but I ain't giving up Ava: You gotta do what you gotta do Buster: 'Course Ava: as do we all Buster: I know Ava: I'll come to Dublin the weekend after Buster: Come or don't, I ain't guilt tripping you Ava: Well I'll be there, so you can see me or not, I've not seen mum and dad much lately Buster: Don't be stupid, I'll obviously make time for you Ava: Alright Buster: It's not your fault this is a shitshow Ava: It's only hers Buster: Is she gonna be there? Ava: We don't know Ava: she's radio silent, as per Ava: but can't rule it out Buster: You could've just said you need to be there for him in case she is Buster: I'm not that much of a selfish cunt Ava: I mean, yeah, obviously it is mainly for him Ava: but I can wanna be there for the girls too without it being a major drama Buster: Nobody's telling you not to give a shit Ava: I don't think she's going to show Buster: Me either Ava: She must be like Ava: actually sick Buster: She's twisted for sure Ava: Shame she didn't get help when James did Buster: you have to want it Ava: I know Ava: but that's why it's extra fucked that she doesn't Ava: she has 2 kids Buster: You don't have to tell me how fucked she is Ava: I don't get how she got like that Ava: I've met her parents, briefly, they're nice, normal Buster: He's not her real dad, she used to make a big deal out of that Buster: but don't waste your time trying to figure her out Ava: Yeah, I won't Buster: Good Ava: How are the kids, anyway? Buster: Looking forward to my birthday, unlike you Ava: 🙄 mhmm Buster: How are yours? Ava: You're such a dick Buster: but seriously, how is she? Ava: She's good, right now Ava: She didn't really get on with Chloe at all, so she's happy Buster: He ain't totally feeding me bullshit lines then, thank fuck for that Ava: He has no reason to lie Ava: and if she wasn't okay, what are you going to do, get Chloe back? Ava: it's her decision Buster: He has every reason to lie to me, you're not that naïve Ava: Not really Ava: as if you could take her and make it magically all better Ava: she loves James, he knows how to take care of her, even if she was sad about this Buster: I could take her, he's shitting himself about that Ava: You could try Buster: Exactly Ava: I don't think you're going to Buster: No shit I'm not, she doesn't know me Ava: So I'm not worried Buster: I'm not trying to worry you Buster: or him Ava: You do have a party to plan Buster: According to you, Rio'll be doing it Ava: How much planning does it actually take Ava: same routine, right Buster: Everything I do is effortless, everybody knows that Ava: Sure Ava: 👌 Buster: Would hate for you to miss out on that same routine you mentioned Ava: You know what I was saying Ava: not as if you need to book entertainment when it's built-in Buster: Yeah Ava: Is Nancy coming back then or what? Buster: Hilarious Ava: Are you having a go at her in another window? Buster: You're the sister I like, remember Ava: I really feel it 😏 Buster: You're welcome Ava: Mhmm Ava: well I, on the other hand, need to plan more party games Buster: I'll see you soon then Ava: Have a good day, yeah Buster: I will Buster: you too Ava: Thanks, same here

[eyebright-iris]

Review: Met Gala 2019

Good morning to girls and gays only.  Straight men can perish.

Well, the Met Gala has rolled around once again and all I can say is: I’m so glad I’m a lesbian. The theme for this year was ‘Camp: Notes on Fashion’ and my GOD did some men decide that this was the perfect opportunity to come in a bland black tux or worse.

Some of the biggest disappointments of the night for me have to be Rami Malek and Taron Egerton, who, having both just played some of the most iconic men in recent history who lived, breathed and ate the essence of camp, saw fit to turn up in black tuxes.  Taron’s was kinda sparkly though and I still respect the dude for his general lack of typical masculinity elsewhere (more men commenting “phwoar” on their mates’ Instagram, please).  Shout out to Frank Ocean who showed up looking like any bouncer you might find outside one of my local clubs on a Saturday night.  He collaborated with James Charles to prove that while some gays showed their best, others certainly did not.  The theme was CAMP, James Charles, and you still couldn’t deliver.

I appreciated the change in pace from Darren Criss and Harry Styles, but to be honest, Harry’s had camper looks in concert and Darren Criss…well, I loved his look, but it also took me a solid ten minutes to work out that it was him and not just Brendon Urie in his regular concert gear.  Glittery jackets and statement eyeliner do not a camp icon make, I’m afraid, though you certainly did better than so many others.

Kim Kardashian was certainly…there.  I’m impressed with the way she managed to make herself look like she’s just stepped out of the ocean butt-naked and dripping wet, but girl.  You’re rich as fuck.  There’s more than bodycon dresses out there.  Also please smack your husband, he’s a dick and he’s wearing a black tracksuit.  Kendall and Kylie were a little more flamboyant but honestly, they were single-colour knockoffs of things I would say you could find at a Rio street festival, except that would be an insult to Brazil and all the ways Rio festivals embody everything the Jenner looks were not.  And to be real with you?  For all the colour that was there, they were boring.  What is it with these women and being afraid to be #Iconique? It’s sad that all they seem to know how to do is emphasise their boobs and hips in dresses with very little fabric to try and be daring.  If they weren’t so rich and influential no one would pay them any mind because you can see the same look on anyone else.

While I don’t like Cardi B, I can appreciate her attempt to get into the spirit of the Met Gala, which she pulled off so well last year.  I only wish her skirt hadn’t ended up looking like rows of theatre seating.  Katy Perry was there as both a chandelier and a hamburger, which, while a step up from the Jenner-Kardashian contributions, leads me to wonder if she knows what ‘camp’ means, or if her foray into queer culture stopped once she was done appropriating sapphic sexuality for male consumption in 2008.  Special mention must go to Benedict Cumberbatch who saw fit to show up dressed like some bizarre visiting cousin of Colonel Sanders who maybe definitely owned a plantation.  It wasn’t a black tux but somehow I just wish it had been.

To get to the real stars of the night, I think it’s only fair to start off by saying this Met Gala was once again, Black Excellence.  I cannot BREATHE for the number of incredible, powerful black icons taking to the pink carpet in works of art.  Let’s begin, shall we?

Billy Porter showed up (and showed everyone else up) with six hot half naked slave dudes decked out in gold carrying him in on a black-and-gold chaise-lounge like a modern-day Cleopatra and, once he had both feet firmly on the floor, threw up the massive golden wings of Isis and owned the entire space around him.  The crown.  The wings. The copious gold sparkly shit. The gold bedazzled stuff on his face. Every other man should be ashamed of his failure to measure up to the king. Also every man in a tux found DEAD by the side of the road thanks to our Lord and Saviour Billy Porter.

If Billy Porter is the king, then surely, there are too many queens to choose from.  From Laverne Cox’s strikingly shaped black dress with her brilliant blue-white hair and statement makeup, to Lupita Nyong’o showing up in the full neon spectrum of the rainbow, black women showed up to take the crown every single time last night.  Janelle Monáe’s stunning artsy dress blew me away, from the Picasso-like features to the multitude of hats that I have no idea how she balanced, she’s a masterpiece.  Lizzo stepped out looking like the Empress of Flamingos and I am absolutely here for every second of it.  The colours are loud, bold, and the outfit is as large-as-life as Lizzo herself.  Her hair was so stunning, I swear I thought it was a crown at first.

Black hair certainly had a starring role on the red carpet as well, from Tessa Thompson’s insanely long braid (she was carrying a WHIP to complete her outfit RIP all wlw) to Lupita’s impressive afro with its many golden combs.  I adored Danai Gurira’s hair and especially loved her Oscar Wilde-inspired outfit: here is a woman who understands her brief and works from it to great effect, and I loved Keiynan Lonsdale’s gorgeous hair and butterfly gown – seeing him embracing his queerness with both arms since Love, Simon led him to come out has made my heart big.

I can’t move on from the black dominance and excellence of the night without mention of two of my favourite looks: Zendaya and Lena Waithe.  If Billy Porter is the king and there are too many queens to count, then Zendaya stands out yet again as the living, breathing princess of the lot of them. I can hear the white tears over black girl magic Cinderella from here.  She arrived in a whole Cinderella dress that expanded and glows from within, a pumpkin-carriage purse and her own fairy godmother to transform her with a little bibbity-bobbity-boo?  She even lost her damn glass slipper on the stairs. A true artist.  As they say in the LGBT+ community: um, wig.

Speaking of which: Lena Waithe.  The lesbian icon herself, who showed up to last year’s Catholic-themed Met Gala in a pride flag cape, and who went hell for leather this year as well, putting every man in a tux to shame by not only out-classing them in how fantastic she looked in her lilac suit, but also paying homage to the origins of camp, with the back of her jacket boldly stating “Black Drag Queens Invented Camp” and the pinstripes on the suit actually being cleverly displayed lyrics to iconic drag queen songs.  She really Did That yet again and I’m knocked dead.

This review is already long as hell and it’s about to get longer because there are more looks that I want to mention.

First of all: Lady. Fucking. Gaga.  My girl did four outfits on the pink carpet in the space of 15 minutes and holy shit did she kill it.  Starting out in a voluminous hot pink ballgown, followed by a more sedate but still impressive black one with a matching umbrella, then down to a slim hot-pink number, huge sunglasses, and statement telephone, and finally ending up in an iconic mesh and underwear set, all while sporting the most gorgeous gold false eyelashes that made the whole thing pop.  The creativity and flair of everything Gaga does has made her iconic throughout the years and this event was no exception.

Ezra Miller FUCKED IT UP. Pinstripe suit with the sweeping train, glittering cage corset on top and a myriad of imitation eyes all over his face, carrying an eerie mask of himself on a stick?  Phenomenal.  The confidence in his walk as he moved and the way he displayed his look was so striking and seeing him own it so much made my night.

I loved Jordan Roth’s take on Billy Porter’s wings, allowing him to show up as a literal whole theatre. I loved Ryan Murphy’s sparkling pink champagne tux and high-collared cape.  Florence Welch absolutely slayed in her glittering wing-collared cloak.

However, one of the standout looks for the night was Hamish Bowles.  The embodiment of camp, with that magnificent fur-trimmed patterned cape. The look is absolutely dominating even when he’s standing still, and when he moves, the whole thing comes alive. Watching some of the dynamic shots taken of him having fun with his outfit, I felt like I was watching a bullfighter in a lion’s mane – and all of that is good.  I can’t quite put my finger on why I felt he looked like a fabulous Mrs Doubtfire (maybe it’s the shoes) but the outfit was one of the best and definitely set a bar that so many men fell short of.

Final Words:

Can someone please tell cishet men to step their game up?  Or men in general (I see you Frank Ocean and James Charles letting the damn side down)?  They can stay boring if they want, however.  The rest of us will be having far more fun without them, and the plain black tuxes certainly are no talking point of the evening.

[castelli-pack]

Doubts

Ash did the only thing he could, he hugged Sam, he really hugged him. Ash knew there was something going on between them, maybe today wasn't the day to go there, but he could comfort Sam that way.

---

After their rough start, Ash would never think that he and Isaac would become close. But weirdly that was what happened. 

His conversation with Isaac and Rio wasn't a really ‘fun event’ but they worked things out. He was truly sorry for everything he had said to them, even though he basically said awful things because he was scared and he felt trapped. Of course, he was also an asshole when he wanted, so feeling scared wasn't an excuse, at least not for Ash. He had no right to judge Isaac for his past or Rio for choosing him and he made sure to tell them all of this. 

Things were a bit weird for a while after this. The three of them were still working on how they'd stand with each other and Ash was completely fine with that, everyone needed some time. He needed some time. He'd be around though, at first mainly because of Sam, who literally started crying the moment he learned that Isaac, Rio, and Ash were okay with each other's presence. 

Ash was confused by this type of behavior at first, why would he cry? Why would he smile at them, still with tears falling all over his cheeks and say things like 'I'm so happy you guys solved everything, I'm sure we can all be friends!'? Why would he care so much? 

Now he knows why. After spending a few months hanging out with Sam he learned how his heart was pure and that he was literally the sweetest and kindest person Ash knew. 

Ash thought it was strange for Sam to care about him right before they met back then but now he knew Sam cared about everyone, it wasn't weird and it wasn't 'something else'. The way he cared for Ash... it was like a friend and possibly the same way he treated his pack members. Right?

This thought always made Ash feel a bit sad and he didn't understand why. Well, he did but he also didn't want to go there. Even after that crazy waterfall trip when things got a little insane with hunters and Sam’s behavior right after they were able to solve things out, well not everything apparently. But all of that never made him doubt Sam's kindness towards him, not until he started noticing the attitudes of the rest of the pack. Especially Isaac.

Irene had offered to help Ash with magic. He knew his way around his powers but it was all very 'all over the place' her own words. He needed focus, he needed to learn how to fully control and use his magic so he accepted. What he wasn't expecting was to enjoy her company that much. They had a lot of things in common and Ash found himself always enjoying their time together. Effie, on the other hand, never really talked to him, but he noticed that after a while, she stopped at least glaring at him. He thought Irene must have said something to her, which it didn't make her trust or perhaps like him but at least she didn't seem ready to attack anymore.

Kenji was Sam's best friend so he was always nice to Ash and protective of Sam at the same time. He was very gentle and being around him was really peaceful. At first, he thought Kenji was only near him because of Sam but after a while, Kenji would often talk to Ash about different things, not 'Sam related' and he seemed to enjoy being around Ash. The same he could say about Aiden, who kept inviting Ash to his games, to go to the city, to go shopping, to do basically the most random and mundane things with him, always with a bright smile on his face. 

That made Ash start to wonder. But not only until Isaac actually started talking to him that he started to consider that maybe something was wrong.

One day, Isaac noticed that Ash was sitting by himself outside the pack house and for some reason he sat near him. And they talked and talked and talked. It was still a bit weird at first but as they talked more Ash noticed that Isaac had the type of personality he really liked in someone. 

Ash thought Isaac was the type of person who would call out his friends in their bullshit, who would tease and joke around, who would probably punch you if you were acting like an idiot but who would die for you in a heartbeat. He was loyal and Ash started admiring him for this. It was something oddly natural. Suddenly, they were always doing small things together, like going for a run or just hanging out. Ash couldn't understand how and why but he didn't want to find out, to really think about the real reasons, because he was starting to feel like he finally had friends, people who liked him and the other option was too heartbreaking.

He still didn’t know how to approach Rio, but hanging out with Isaac helped him to at least start casually talking to them. Rio was a calm person and they often seemed so wise, Ash maybe thought it was an alpha thing.

When Irene suggested he should just move in during lunch on a Sunday, because it'll be easier for her to help him with magic and also for other things she didn't want to say, Ash just froze for a minute until Rio said, “If you wish, I guess everyone would be okay with this, I mean, we don't have a lot of rooms so if Sam doesn't mind to share."

Sam, of course, said he was okay, more than okay if there was something he was, was okay. Ash laughed and said he'd bring a sofa bed, which made Sam's smile fall just for a second, he soon recovered but Ash noticed. Weird, but not really.

He accepted to move in but he was feeling that something could be wrong way before. 

So now he had to actually consider what he didn't want to consider before. That maybe he had used his magic, unintentionally, to make them like him. Because, why would these amazing people, and now that he knew them he could confirm for sure that they were indeed amazing, would really let him in? He even felt something, this pull, like voices in his head. He could almost hear, he could almost feel them. It was packbrotherlove and that didn't make any sense, he couldn't be part of that, he couldn't just be pack. 

He decided if that was a small chance it could be the case he couldn't do that to them. He could never hurt these people, he could never hurt Sam... He made a choice. He would leave because he didn't want to risk being right. Their free will was more important than Ash's desire to have a home.

Ash was really nervous during dinner. Sam noticed of course and Ash said he was fine, he lied saying it was because it was a bit overwhelming for him being there and all but he'd be okay. Sam didn't seem to believe in him but he left Ash alone. Since he was sleeping in Sam's room and Sam was a wolf, Ash thought that getting his stuff after Sam going to bed wouldn't work, so he hid his backpack in the living room. If Sam noticed he was leaving the bedroom he'd only think he was going to the bathroom or something. So after everyone was asleep Ash did just that.

What he didn't expect was that another person noticed he was nervous and this person wouldn’t take any of Ash's shit.

"It's a bit late to go for a run, isn't it? I mean, I really like running under the moonlight in the middle of the night, you know? Wolf shit, but I didn't think you'd start acting like us this early, chill or soon you'll be naked and covered in grass.”

Isaac. Isaac was waiting for him in the living room.

"Listen... Isaac," Ash started but only to be interrupted.

"Let's cut the bullshit here man, what the fuck are you doing? Are you just going to leave? Just like that? Now that you're finally here with us, you just what? Decided you're too good to live with a bunch of ‘dogs’ and another tiny witch? Is that it? And I fucking know that it isn't, so spill it out."

Ash took a deep breath.

"I was always alone. I never had people that I could count on, my parents? Junkies, they didn't fucking care, so I had to learn how to take care of myself and having magic helped me. I used it to manipulate people, to get what I needed and wanted, deliberately. It was survival, I won't say I regret it or any shit like that." So Isaac answered with a patient tone.

"I know man and I would never judge you for doing what you had to do, you also know I truly understand the feel, how you’d think you don't have a choice, that doing that thing you know it's wrong it's your only way. But that doesn't explain why you want to leave." Ash was becoming frustrated.

"It's because MAYBE IT AFFECTED YOU ALL," He said basically screaming, "Irene said my magic was chaotic, that I needed to control it better, what if my wish to be around you guys, to be someone that mattered to you, to look like a good person so you'd accept me, to be worthy of someone like him made my magic go even crazier? I would NEVER do that to any of you but maybe I didn't realize I was doing it, because otherwise why? Why would you all let me in? In your house? In your life?" He was basically crying. Ash never liked showing his feelings, he wasn't good with all of that emotional thing but now, he just let it all out.

Isaac approached him, slowly then he touched Ash's head.

"Ash, I'm so sorry people in your life made you think that you weren't someone that deserved a home, that deserved friends, that deserved happiness. But you do. You have a difficult personality for sure, we didn't have a great start at all, everything started very messed but fuck man, what are you even talking about? Magic? Controlling us? No, never, magic could never make me like an amazing little shit like you, nope that was just and purely on you." Isaac said, smiling a bit.

"It's just... it's a lot to take okay? I was just trying to find a reason and that thought came out and I was really scared I..." Then Isaac actually hugged him, he really hadn't hug Ash before so it was different but so it was also so right. 

"I understand you I truly do, but I'm also saying you're being an idiot because I can say that since yes I'm your friend. We can talk about this tomorrow, we can all talk together, Irene will be pissed you thought she wouldn't notice you controlling the whole pack but that would also show you how everything is alright, get your stuff, go back to your room try to sleep... well the sleep part could take a while since Sam is about to explode in there so I think it'd be wise to go and talk to him." Ash laughed a bit. 

"Oh hell, he's gonna kill me." Isaac released him from his hug.

"Nah, Sam is a teddy bear... but yeah he's pissed so good luck." Isaac started walking away when Ash called him.

"Isaac wait!"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for... I mean... thanks? It was..." Isaac laughed.

"Yeah dude, I know what you mean don't worry." And he left.

Now Ash had to go back to Sam's room and face him. He had no idea what to expect.

When he opened the door Sam jumped from his bed, but he was just staring at Ash with a troubled expression. 

"Hey, Sam I..." Sam started talking first.

"I heard everything you told Isaac Ash, and oh man I am so mad at you!" Ash didn't know what to say he had never seen Sam mad before.

"How DARE you doubt their feelings? Couldn't you feel yourself? Because all of them could, how you were becoming pack, day after day, how much you fit in with us. And how could you think, even for a minute that any magic in this universe could make me feel what I feel? I really understand why you would consider this, I really do Ash, but please listen to your heart, to your gut, do you think magic would be able to create everything they feel towards you? That it can create everything I have inside here?" Sam said pointing to his chest. "Because I'm sure as hell no magic could create something this big Ash, none."

Did he think magic could actually create all of that? No. Not like that. And the type of magic he used in the past made people compliant, they'd do what he wanted. After hearing Isaac. After hearing Sam. He was sure. They wouldn't be mad at him if that was the case. He acted like an idiot but he was happy, it was like some heavy weight was lifted from his shoulders.

They liked him. For real, isn't that insane? Isn't that amazing?

"No Sam, I don't... I'm sorry I was just confused and I needed to be sure I wasn't hurting you all without meaning to..."

"Good. That's good." Sam said then he sat on the floor and started crying.

"Sam? Sam are you okay?? Why are you crying now, it's alright, I understand what you guys mean I don't think it's my magic I believe in you." Then Sam answered weakly.

"I know, I'm just so relieved! When I noticed you weren't on your bed, when I felt how stressed you were, when I heard about your doubts... I'm sorry I couldn't help you before. I'm sorry you were this stressed and worried, I assumed it was about moving here. I was so scared, I don't want you to leave Ash unless this is something you want but don't leave us thinking it's something you have to do..." Sam managed to say.

Ash did the only thing he could, he hugged Sam, he really hugged him. Ash knew there was something going on between them, maybe today wasn't the day to go there but he could comfort Sam that way. Honestly, he was comforting himself.

"It's okay, I'm here and...I'm not going anywhere."

And he really meant that. For the first time ever.

[trentteti]

The Logical Rose-ning Section: Your Recap of The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All Special

Rachel Lindsay is a practicing attorney who once took the LSAT. And you, dear reader, are an aspiring attorney who will soon take the LSAT, Rachel Lindsay is also an aspiring married person, serving as the bachelorette on this season of The Bachelorette, the love story these depraved times deserve. And you, dear reader, may also be an aspiring married person? Either way, you definitely have at least a few things in common with Rachel. So every Tuesday, we’re going to be tracking Rachel’s romantic journey on The Bachelorette, and see what we can learn about love, loss, and the LSAT. Welcome back to the Logical Rose-ning Section.

Last time: The remaining guys took turns seeing the wonders of Rachel’s Dallas hometown and withstanding the protectiveness of Rachel. Eric was normal and sociable, Peter tried to play it cool, and Bryan displayed a thirst for their approval that not even the Rio Grande could quench. Rachel then took the guys on a trip to La Rioja wine region of Spain, where Eric picked up some late season momentum and Peter appeared to lose his pole position. The changing fortunes of the guys stoked some much-needed drama for the final episode, which leads us to …

… Oh yeah, the Men Tell All episode. The writing sample of The Bachelorette season. The unnecessary addendum to the proceedings that merely prolongs the inevitable. For The Bachelorette, the inevitable being a contractually-mandated engagement and publicity tour; for the LSAT, your constitutionally-mandated duty to drink as many alcoholic beverages as you can responsibly consume. Just like the writing sample, the real stuff is already done–the important selections have been made, the long journey across five countries/sections has been traveled–you’ve done everything you’ve needed to do to get a good score. And yet here we are, biding time.

So the writing sample was on my mind as I watched a two-hour special in which the also-rans of this season got one last moment in the spotlight to hash out differences, confront Rachel, and make one final push to secure the Instagram endorsements that will allow them to finally quit their personal training gigs. During the special though, I was shocked to see these guys actually give some worthwhile advice for completing the LSAT’s writing sample. Apparently, the Men really did Tell All, at least with respect to the most overlooked part of the LSAT.

If you don’t already know, the writing sample is always given as the final section of the LSAT. After 175 minutes of intense logical reasoning and critical reading, you’re given 35 minutes to write a short persuasive essay. The format is always the same: you must make an argument for one of two mutually exclusive options described in the prompt. You will also be given two criteria to consider when making the argument. You will be provided a series of facts that you can reference to support your argument. Just choose one of the two options and make your best case for it.

The essay you compose will not affect your final score, but it will be included as part of your law school application. Admissions officers will likely give the essay a quick read-through to make sure you didn’t completely blow it off and that you possess at least a decent command over the written word even when exhausted. Although you shouldn’t feel too much pressure when writing the sample, there are a few mistakes you should avoid, which the Men Tell All special helpfully illustrated to us all last night.

So let’s get into these lessons.

Lesson 1: Don’t spend too much time recapping the prompt

The essay you compose for the writing sample should be short, sweet, and to the point. Like a cake pop. If you spend the introduction of your essay repeating all the background information the prompt just told you, you’re wasting valuable time and space. And more importantly, you’re just going to bore the poor admissions officer tasked with reading your essay. That admissions officer will have read hundreds of those writing samples already, and will be, trust me, well acquainted with the facts.

At least as well acquainted as the poor blogger who has spilled gallons upon gallons of digital ink recapping this season of The Bachelorette. Even the casual fan of this program must remember the main plot points of this season–DeMario showed up with a so-called “side chick,” there was a feud between some guy named like Blaine or something and a failed comedian whose catchphrase was “Whablam” or whatever, there was self-proclaimed “country boy” (read: white person) who promised to have problems with “certain people” (read: not white people) in the house and proceeded to have completely self-made problems with those people, but especially with lovable wrestler/doting father Kenny.

And yet, this special dedicated what seemed like hours to montage after montage going over these very same plot points. Producers, our minds may or may not be permanently damaged by watching your trash reality shows, but at least trust that we can remember episodes we watched like, three weeks ago.

Lesson 2: Don’t show up with prepackaged lines

Seriously, don’t try to plan ahead for the writing sample by thinking of clever lines you could use. The prompt could be about literally any topic, so you have no idea if the lines you plan will be useful. Plus, you have more than enough to worry about studying for the parts of the LSAT that will actually affect your final score.

Just look at the guys who used pre-planned statements on the Men Tell All special to see how far those lines will get you. Take Adam, who clearly wanted to say something about Lucas, the failed comedian who said “Whaboom” a lot. Adam dropped the line, “There was so much ‘Whaboom,’ it should been ‘Wha-bye.'” Which is like a C- joke at best, and didn’t even elicit a polite chuckle from the audience. Or take Lee’s pre-planned defense to systematically starting fights with every African-American contestant: “I should have been a better friend.” Which didn’t make sense, given that no one suggested that he was a friend. Or even Fred, the poor guy who harbored a crush on Rachel since summer camp, whose heartfelt monologue to her was undercut by his statement clearly being written and rehearsed.

You’ll be able to write this thing on test day, no need to plan ahead.

Lesson 3: If you’re going to try to flex with big words, make sure you know what they mean and have heard them used before

Having a big vocabulary won’t get you into law school or prolong your fifteen minutes of fame, but that doesn’t stop LSAT takers and former Bachelorette contestants from dropping recherché word bombs on the writing sample and Men Tell All special, respectively. DeMario, for instance, defended himself against accusations of two-timing with the aforementioned “side chick” by referencing the lack of “ocular” facts that he and the “side chick” were ever actually a couple. “Ocular,” of course, meaning “related to the eye.” So, you know, eye facts. Those things we talk about every day and frequently use as proof that two people are in a committed relationship. DeMario was probably looking for “observable” facts, or even “empirical” facts, but tried to get too grandiloquent and took an L so obvious that any oculus could see it.

Don’t be DeMario. Use words you know.

Lesson 4: Don’t get too attached to either of the options–take some time to brainstorm

Your job on the writing sample is to pick a side and argue why it’s the better of the two options. There’s no “right” answer, of course; generally, the prompt to the writing sample will give roughly equal pros and cons for each choice. You should therefore simply pick the option that you think you can make the better argument for–the option that you feel most passionately about.

But passion can be a fickle mistress. Matters of the heart are tough. Sometimes one option seems so right, but halfway through writing the second paragraph of your essay–or, say, half-way through shooting the spin-off program Bachelor in Paradise–you’ll realize that you should have chosen another option. At that point, it will be too late.

So take some time brainstorming pros and cons for each choice before making your decision. This step will help you pick the right option for you and construct a better argument for that option.

The Bachelor producers surely wish they took more time in deciding which of these cast members would serve as the next eponymous bachelor. Dean, the most recently eliminated contestant, was given ample screen time during the Men Tell Special. And given the rapturous reception he received from the crowd, it was clear that he should have been selected as the next bachelor. In a camouflage-print tuxedo jacket and a polka-dotted pocket square that matched his socks, Dean looked like a star, a perfect protagonist for the next season of The Bachelor. And yet, when nominal host Chris Harrison (who, after a total of about 5 minutes of screen time this season, finally got a chance to cook this episode–shouts to you Chris, keep getting dem checks) announced Dean as a contestant in Bachelor in Paradise, you could feel the crowd collectively sigh.

A little bit of brainstorming and research would have gone a long ways for the producers of The Bachelor. Don’t make the same mistakes they did.

Lesson 5: Leave the bloopers out

The writing sample isn’t a high school math test, so don’t show your work. You shouldn’t include any outlines or notes or rough drafts that you may make. You’ll have scratch paper to mock up these notes. In the space LSAC provides to write your essay, you should only include your final essay. Obviously.

But if only someone told that to the producers of the Men Tell All special, who closed the night with a blooper reel of Rachel sometimes almost tripping and Josiah eating and some of the men putting on lotion. Some things are best left on the cutting room floor.

And with that you have everything you need to succeed on the writing sample. Or at least to be reassured that you maybe didn’t completely waste two hours of your life watching trash reality television.

The Logical Rose-ning Section: Your Recap of The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All Special was originally published on LSAT Blog