#which like. mood! i support you! but please just schedule your fucking physical so I can cross you off my list

[starlit-meloncholia]

I would rather be anywhere else doing anything else than work today

[honeyedmiller]

When It Rains | Pedro Pascal

based on this request here

pairing: pedro pascal x gn!reader

disclaimer: I obviously know Pedro is such a sweetheart and would probably never do this to anyone in “real life.”

warnings: angst, fighting, cursing, mentions of social anxiety, fluff, no use of y/n.

word count: 1.3k

-

You don't even know how it escalated to this point.

One day, you and your boyfriend come home from an event that went terribly. You barely got to see each other anymore, so that event was your time to spend with one another—until he was pulled in every which way for an interview, to talk to a friend of his, or to talk to current or past co-stars.

You knew he had a busy schedule and he was quite literally dominating the film industry at the moment, but fuck you just missed him. You couldn't blame him for genuinely being a person of and for the people. Everyone loved him.

That's not what upset you, though, no—it was the fact that he'd barely acknowledged you the whole night, not introducing you to the people he was talking to, and had you following him around like a goddamned lost puppy the whole night.

When you got home, you were exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally. You didn't bother trying to explain to him why you were in such a sour mood, which to you, was just you being silent. You were never silent. You loved to converse with Pedro, even when he didn't have the energy to talk. He still loved to listen to you.

When you said you were going to bed flatly, his mood absorbed yours and it just escalated from there. It's been days. Small bickering here and there, until tonight.

Something just snapped in both of you, all the pent-up anger and frustrations being laid down on the table for both of you to finally see.

"I don't understand your deal." Pedro snapped, squinting his eyes at you as he crossed his arms over his chest.

You scoffed at him and threw up your arms in defeat. "How about we start off with the fact that I was looking forward to spending a great night with you the other night. You brushed me off and acted like you didn't fucking care about me, Pedro. What the hell? Are you-" You paused, tears welling in your eyes. "Are you ashamed to introduce me to people a part of your 'world' because I'm not on your guys' level?"

He looked at you in complete disbelief, as if you blamed him for something that wasn't his fault.

"Don't even start with that. You know that's not true. Maybe you should learn to be a little less introverted and actually learn how to speak to people. You're a grown up, for fuck's sake." Pedro's words dripped with venom as he seethed, and the look of hurt was eminent on your face.

Pedro knew you had terrible social anxiety. The fact that he'd throw that in your face was hurtful and belittling. You never brought up his anxieties and used them against him in an argument, so the fact that he did that to you fucking hurt.

"You know what, Pedro, you're right. I am a grown up. But that doesn't mean I don't struggle with things any less. I'm not a part of the acting world, let alone even famous. I got that part. But fuck, if you're going to brush me off like that and treat me like I don't matter when I've been nothing but loving and supportive of you from the moment we've met, then maybe you should go find better." Tears were streaming down your face. You couldn't hide it anymore.

"What are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?" Pedro's angry voice faltered into a broken and confused tone.

"No, Pedro. I'm just saying that if this isn't what you want anymore, then you can go ahead and find better. Find someone who's more understanding of your career. I love you, but I can't deal with this right now." Your fists were balled up at your sides as tears continuously fell down your cheeks. You took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling before turning on your heel to walk to the front door.

"Fuck. Please, baby, wait." Pedro begged, moving closer to you.

"Don't."

That's all you said before you walked out of the front door, shutting it behind you. The chilly, gloomy weather made you wrap your arms around your frame as you briskly walked down the sidewalk, tears blurring your vision. Thunder cracked loudly above your head, making you jump and silently curse at Mother Nature.

Of fucking course the weather would match your sad, brooding mood. As soon as you felt one drop of rain, the downpour followed next. The rain soaked you to the bone, but truthfully, that was the last thing on your mind. You could've sworn you heard your name being called, but the pounding of the rain against the sidewalk made it nearly impossible to hear correctly.

You didn't bother to turn around and just kept walking for what felt like hours, before you reached a small local community park. You stepped on the muddy sand and made your way to the swings, sitting abruptly.

You couldn't help but cry your eyes out.

You knew dating a celebrity would come with some pros and cons, but you never thought Pedro would've been the type to brush you off. He was usually so loving and tender when it came to you. Seems like when it rains, it fucking pours... you guess.

You couldn't help but think that maybe you were being a bit dramatic with this whole thing. Maybe Pedro didn't mean to brush you off, or make you feel inferior. Maybe he didn't even realize what he was doing.

Your mind started running overtime, and you suddenly became overwhelmed with the thought that you might've just ruined what'd happened to be the greatest relationship you've ever been in.

All because you couldn't put your anxieties behind you and be an adult and introduce yourself. Maybe Pedro was right. You sighed as you rested your elbows on your knees, hands covering your tired, puffy eyes. You sat there for god knows how long, before you saw bright headlights flash on you as a car quickly parks on the street.

Your head snaps up and you squint to try and see who it was, because for all you knew, it could've been a fucking axe murderer. You heard your name being called distantly, the rain still making it a bit hard to hear. Your name was called once more as the person got closer, and you instantly recognized the voice. Pedro.

You stand slowly from the swing you were on, legs shaky and weak. All of your energy had been completely depleted from your body. Your wet clothing felt like a thousand pounds on your body, and your eyes hurt from continuously crying.

Pedro approached you slowly, his eyes clearly bloodshot from crying himself.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. So fucking sorry." His voice cracked as his hands reached for you. You stilled and thought about backing away, but you couldn't even fathom fighting with him or being angry for another second. All you want was him and his comfort.

"I shouldn't have gotten angry at you for something that was my fault. I know you try your best in social gatherings. I should've introduced you. I was a dick. I'm so sorry, baby." Pedro kissed the top of your head as you rested your forehead against his broad chest.

"I love you, P," You confessed, squinting up at him to prevent the rain getting into your eyes. “But I’m sorry, too. I should’ve communicated this to you and talked to you about it instead of being brash and walking out on you. Walking out shouldn’t have been my first move. I’m sorry.”

"I know darling, I know. Next time both of us just need to talk about it head-on. I hate fighting with you. I love you so much," He whispered the last part before kissing your forehead this time. "Let's get you home and comfy and dry." His big brown eyes were glossed over and soft as they looked down at you.

"I hate fighting with you, too. And yes, please, get me out of this fucking rain." You half laugh at the last part, arms tightening around his core.

"Of course, my love." He wraps his arms around you just the same, leaning down to give you a genuine, heart-tugging kiss.

The kind of kiss that happens in those cliché romcom movies that makes you fall for him even harder. The kind that makes it known to the both of you that he's yours and you're his... forever.

a/n: as someone who has social anxiety, talking to people (especially in new settings) is SO HARD so if any of you can relate, I feel u fr fr. Love u all <3

[goofyhoffy]

known stranger | jjk | Chapter 1

people say your bestfriend's rival is your rival too. But what if you fall for your rival.

✿ Pairing :  Jungkook × female reader, Jimin × best friend reader

✿ Genre : enemies to lovers, stranger au, personal assistant au, manager au, mutual au.

✿ Summary : always seen him around your mutual friend, but one day you  noticed the known face. Everyone find you so interesting that they always want to be your best friend, yet you never find anyone close to your heart. Jimin your so called bestfriend gone through the worse break up but instead of caring him you fall for his rival. You never thought of liking someone who would beat your bestfriend, but you fall for Jungkook there. Unfortunately, Jungkook became your personal assistant who hated you the most for supporting Jimin. What if Jungkook also wants you back?

✿ Warnings : fluff, strong languages, reader is a psychopath, angst, anxiety, anxiousness, double faced, bullying, overthinking, mean people, Jimin here is the meanest, ignoring, explicit, smut, fake friends, manager and personal assistant au, mutual friend, swearing, filled with flirty lines, rival, lovey dovey, break up, makeout, humiliation, oneshot, texting.

✿ Series : a drabble fanfiction of 3 sets

✿ Word Limit : 5 k+

MASTERLIST

✿ Author's note : wishing you many happy returns of the day, kook. I thought of making this fanfic a oneshot but my mind never cooperates with me. So, here I'm again with my drabble series. Read it and let me know if you liked it. To get add on taglist, send an ask.

(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)

"See, I changed your contact name to 'Bestie' , it's looking perfect dude." Jimin rejoiced. You just gladly looked at his phone screen with your two owl eyes. "Now, you also need to change my contact name in your phone to 'bestie'. Do it fast, I'm waiting, piggy."  Jimin said happily.

"Ya, I'll do it later some day." You weirdly smiled at him. It's always been like that. Jimin being too clingy, always said that you're his best friend, his own girl, whom he adores the most. But somewhere you never felt that. You never denied him of being your friend or you can say your best friend but you always hesitated to accept. You never called him sweetly, never even seen him like your bestfriend but something less than that. A vibe just didn't match with him. Yet, he was always the one who texted you, asked for hanging out, call you by pet names, always loved you, always treat you like his bestfriend. You never showed this emotions neither you did denied all that .

"You always do this things. You know, you're always first for me. First priority,____(y/n)." Jimin sighed.

"Ya, always first. But-" you got intreuppted by him.

This Areum gonna kill me one day. This girl already broke up with me but still cling to me." Jimin said while checking his phone. Few weeks ago, Jimin had a worst broke up. More likely, a betrayal kinda thing happened with him. Before that he was so happy, bright and always busy with his girlfriend. And never ever asked you how were you back then. There you got it, how really a toxic person he was. That's why, you never wanted to call him your special person. Cause after every break up he only comes to you. And during his relationship phase he never even asked you nor did he talk to you. A complete stranger basically.

" Why don't you just ignore her. Block her if she's distrubing you so much." You said.

"I did, but still. Well, she's only for fun. She also have fun making out with me and I do the same. So no problem." Jimin chuckled.

"Also fun when she calls his boyfriend and his friends to beat you up as you're assign of molesting her." You rolled your eyes.

"____, you clearly know that. You have seen that. She was the first who directed me to kiss her , touch her and everything. But later that bitch just called her bodyguard boyfriend to help her out. It's only a strategy for breaking up with me." Jimin sighed.

"Then, why did you do the same thing again Jimin? Just leave her. It really feel bad to see your friend suffering." You asked.

"Bestfriend not friend." Jimin corrected.

"Whatever. Do you want to have red stamps on your ass again?" You sighed.

"No, but I can't. That time I was so mad at Areum so I didn't do any harm to her boyfriend. Unless I would have kicked him in nuts." Jimin giggled.

"Everything is not a joke, Jimin." You rolled your eyes as you left for your daily shift.

◉

You got freahen up after a hectic day at your work. After taking good hot shower, you sat on your bed and checked your phone. You glared at how many messages Jimin had sent you to ask about your day, your mood, what's you're doing and stuff like that. You completely ignored it. Sometimes you feel that, the boy put so much of his time on you just to get some friendly love from you. But at the second thought, you imagine all those moments when he ignored you, your texts, your calls for hours and days just because he don't need you.

At last you saw the flooded messages at the new group chat you got added. You don't have enough patience to read what the group chat was about and who were the members. So, you directly called the one who added you.

It's Bora, who added you. Your long lost another best friend. Who also treated you like her best friend but you never like being her friend. But you felt so glad that someone still remembered you. You called her.

"Hello!"  You nervously chuckled.

"____, I missed you bub. Don't you missed me sweets?" Bora excitedly asked.

"Sure. I-I mean I did. A lot. Bora." You weirdly smiled

"Then you're definitely coming to the Mall? Don't you?" Bora asked.

"Mall? About what?" You asked.

"I added you to the gc dude. Checked that. Everyone is coming. Please you also need to come. I have many things to talk about you." Bora pleased.

"I saw that, that's why I called you. Cool idea! Definitely gonna come Bora." You said.

"Call me sunshine. Okayy, tomorrow at eight at evening near the south mall. Don't be late. We all will be there." Bora said happily.

"Sure sunshine. I'll be there promise. Good night. Meet you tomorrow." You said cheerfully.

You're kinda excited to meet your old goldies. Not to lie but you missed them so much. All the shit they talk, crazyness they do and everything about them is all you need right now. You missed Bora in real. Like, in days she was so toxic that gives you anxiety unnecessarily but still she missed you. You always love the person who mentioned you anywhere unless or untill it's Jimin.

At the Mall, you're already late to go their after your hectic schedule. But still you're not late as it's only nine and they asked you to be their till eight. But you always a late lateefa. More like a queen for whom everyone waits. You saw Bora, and ran cheerfully towards her.

"Sunshine!" You sang.

"_____, again late." Bora exclaimed arrogantly.

"Really sorry Bora. Tell me if I missed anything." You asked.

"Everything. Legit everything." Bora said.

"Why? I'll cry dude." You sighed

"Everyone already gone for movie. I'm just here to wait for you girl. Thank me." Bora rolled her eyes

"Then let's go for the movie. We can join the movie." You cheerfully smiled.

"Wait. I didn't call you here to hangout with you. I need to tell you many things." Bora said.

"Then whom we're waiting for. Let's have some goosip coffee, Sunshine." You chuckled as both of you just walked upto the near counter coffee shop. There you sat the same place you used to and have endless laughter.

She explained how she's going to marry the man of her dreams. Tells you everything about what happening in every one's life and their love life. During your old days to, Bora was the one who tells you all the goosip and love life of others. She was so much interested in other life than her own. Unfortunately you were always the one who used to hear all those boring goosips. You were never interested, neither you are now interested.

As the weather is getting happier the dark clouds surrounds the mood. You saw Areum and his Boyfriend Seokjin was also there at the mall. They're strolling down the Mall with grabbing eachother hands. They looked so happy. But you felt so bad for his boyfriend Seokjin. He never knew the actual face of Areum. You have seen after Jimin's break up also, she used to make out with him. Jimin share each and everything about that. How she bite his upper lip so much and how she was acting that everything was good and still were together. Jimin was an actual fool and you knew that. He didn't understand that, the thing which he was telling fun and gain is actually the entire opposite. Areum was all having fun with her new rich boyfriend and having a good physical life with Jimin. But here Jimin was always so sad because of her. She's an actual bitch  and act like an innocent fool.

"Bora, this is the girl I'm talking about." You pointed at Areum indirectly.

"She was Jimin's girlfriend? Ew. I always know he had a bad taste." Bora said.

"See the boy beside her, he's her new boyfriend. A total bitch." You fumed. As both of you sitting at the corner of the coffee cafe looking at them and goosiping.

"That's Seokjin. Lord." Bora yelled.

"You know him?" You asked.

"For sure. He's the friend of Jungkook. That boy is way too flirt." She giggled.

"Jungkook? You mean that boy?" You asked.

"Ya, remember during the high school party I invited him. You met him quite a few time, ____" she said.

"Wait. There's a  Long story about him also dude. Let me finish." You chuckled as you sipped your cold brew.

You explained her how during the break up of Jimin and Areum, she called her new boyfriend. With his new boyfriend there was Jungkook there to threaten Jimin. You had witnessed all the threatening Jungkook given. The way he said 'back off your little ass' , 'fuck another girlfriend, leave Areum' , 'seokjin is like my brother, if anything happens to her girl I won't leave you". All his aggression, confidence in his eyes and a way of firece. Not to mention you liked it.

All this years, you have seen Jungkook. You have seen him in the partis, malls and streets. But after he threatened your bestfriend, you kind of liked him. After that you noticed him in real. How he was flexing his arms while talking to Jimin, how he was rolling his eyes, how he was just standing there looking immensely handsome. With the white t-shirt on and cargo pants, he was looking handsome. That's the first time you actually noticed him.

You really felt bad for Jimin that all the boys get over him. But a certain part of your giggling to recalling all the moment of Jungkook. You never talked to him, neither he took an interest on you. You both were just a known stranger to each other. Known by the faces and stranger by the identity.

At the end of the meet and greet day, you were on your way to outside. Bora was with you. You both were laughing. You met with other old friends too after so long. You took some good memories photo and you felt so good at the end.

"Bora! Hey!" Someone shouted at Bora who was standing beside you at the exit of the mall. She looked back and realized it's Jungkook.

"Hey, Kook. You're here." She giggled.

"Come here with Seokjin. You too here?" Jungkook asked.

"Yeah, with _____(y/n). Meet my bestu." She pointed at you.

"I see." Jungkook just rolled his eyes on you. It's completely like ignoring you. You also completely just looked at your phone to cut off eye contact. It was like ignoring both of their conversation.

You know why he always looked so uninterested on you. After Jimin's broke up, you took Jimin's side and then all those so called cold war started. He absolutely hate you because you opposed him and supported your friend. But you know you were correct. But that never mean that you could not have a crush on him.

His dark hairs falling at his eyes with the little puppy eyes look immensely fierce. His everything is quite recognisable and you remembered each of the detailed about him. But always a guilt that you never spoke to him. You wanted to but his expression kills your inner whore.

"Then spend time with Seokjin. Meet me soon." Bora said.

"Cool. You also spend time with your bestu. I'll meet you soon." Jungkook greeted as he left both of you alone. He gave you a scary look before leaving which you clearly noticed but rolled your eyes.

◉

You entered at your work place. That day you had a lot of work to do. So, you piled up all the papers needed for the work. Basically, you were working as a manager in a hotel as you want to have enough money to publish your book. You work daily so hard to accomplish all your dreams to be a writer. Being a manager you saved enough for your book and have enough to spend the rest on your own. Your work was always way to comfortable for you.

"Good Morning,____." Your boss entered at your work place and greeted you.

"Good morning boss. Do you need something?" You asked.

"I want you to meet someone. Kook! Come in." He shouted to call someone. As he called, a guy entered in the room and it's none other than Jungkook itself.

"Meet Jungkook. From now onwards he will assist you. Your personal assistant." He said.

"Dad! I'm not anyone's assistant here. I'm not doing this thing." Jungkook barked angrily.

"You have to think about that before the car accident. To be more sincere, you have to work as an assistant until or unless I'm sure you can do something on your own." Your boss hissed. You never knew that Jung kook was son of your boss. Your boss looked quite young for a big boy like Jungkook. And never did Jungkook had been in this five star hotel you worked at. You were quite shocked while giggling inside that he had to assist you. That's mean proper supremacy.

"But dad -" Jungkook been cut off by him.

"Meet _____(y/n). I really want you to work with her. She's sincere as well as profound at her work. I think you will be a good Manager -  assistant thing." You boss said. As he mentioned your name , Jungkook looks at you. He was as stun as you.

"Thanks Boss. Hello Mr. Jeon Jungkook." You greeted and try to be as professional as you want to stop him from invading in your personal life.

"Now, you both can start your work. I'm leaving." You boss said as he left your work place leaving you and Jungkook alone.

For few minutes it was like a dread silence. Only your computer making the typing sound. You don't know how to start a conversation. The only thing you know was that you should be professional with him. No perosnal talks. Only see him as your assistant or more like your boss's son. Jungkook was there right behind you still astonished and don't know from where to start. He was already feeling so sad about being someone's assistant but it made worse after realising it's you. You were his manager. Internally he hated you, but you liked him. You know he hated so much. But neither you had talked to him nor he talked to you. It was an internal war of friendship. Because both of your mutual friends were rivals. So, you both also knew you have to be each other rivals too.

"You work here?" Jungkook smirked.

"Yes, Mr. Jeon. As you're my assistant now, I'll teach what you have to do." You weirdly smiled.

"I'm not your assistant first of all. It's for my dad sake. Or I would never have to work here." Jungkook arrogantly said.

"It's okay Mr. Jeon. But I have to abide by my boss rules." You said.

"What's with Mr. Jeon? Don't you know me?" Jungkook asked smirkingly.

"Do I?" You asked.

"Dude, you're Bora's as well as Jimin's bestfriend. I clearly have seen you hundreds of times. Don't deny that you never have seen me." Jungkook smirked.

"Sorry, Mr. Jeon. But I'm at my work place. No perosnal talks please." You hesitantly said. You felt like a large piece of stone got off from your heart. You never want to talk to him about your personal matters or it would go real wrong.

"Stop calling me Mr. Jeon for God sake. Call me Jungkook." He ranted.

"Okay, Mr. Jungkook. Anything you like." You said.

" God! You're so annoying dude. No more formalities please. Jungkook only." Jungkook yelled at you. You know how to annoy people. You were just testing his patience and as expected he was way more patienceless than you have thought.

"Okay Jungkook. Call me _____(y/n) then." You smirked.

"Whatever." Jungkook rolled his eyes as he sits at the table.

He was on his phone through out you were working. You thought of giving him some work. But the way he was sitting, getting annoyed by you and those priceless smiles across his face whenever he was playing in his phone. You can't deny but you want to admire him all day long. You and Jungkook was all alone in the room. No one was there. You were working on your files and peeping at him when he was not looking at you.

"Dude, give me some work or something. I'm getting bored." Jungkook sighed as he put his phone aside and looked at you.

"I thought you don't want to work! But sure, being your manager I'll give some work to do." You proudly said.

"Only for my dad. And also I'm bored so thought doing something with you." Jungkook said.

"Something with me?" You asked. Your sarcasm is way too knowledgeable to your friends. How you turn simple things to some random jokes.

"I-I mean some work with you." Jungkook stumbled.

You told him everything he have to do. All the rules and regulations he had to follow. But at all your words he just rolled his eyes. That kind of annoying to you and you want to beat the shit out of him. But you can be a bigger annoyance than him. And you decide to be one. As Jungkook would never find you interesting or beautiful but you would force him to do so.

After the work, when you finished all your daily work and wrote down all the things you have to do tomorrow on your diary. You were ready to go to your home and work in your book and have some delicious coffee.

"Jungkook now you're good to go. See you tomorrow." You greeted him with a smile.

"So, now what are you gonna do?" Jungkook asked.

"We did all the work today so early. So, now you can go home and so do I." You said.

"Go home! Don't you have anywhere to go? Hangout or parties?" Jungkook chuckled devilishly.

"I prefer home Jungkook. Meet you tomorrow." You said and you're on your way to exit.

"Wait ____. I'm trying to start a conversation. And you're only ignoring me." Jungkook yelled.

"I'm not ignoring. It's just I have pile of work to do." You laughed

"So, if your professional life ended can we talk about your personal life?" Jungkook asked jokingly.

"No. I don't want to." You said as you left the venue for your home. Jungkook was standing there all astonished that why you react like that. Thinks if he asked you something wrong.

As soon as you reached home, you got a text from an unknown number.

You're internally giggling and smirking that it was not you who texted first but it was him. You were happy that finally you got his number. But still you don't want to show that you liked him or anything. You just want to be professional with him so that he'll beg you to talk to him. You're way too annoying and you want to show that to him. You now just want to go tomorrow and annoy him more and more.

◉

"You did well today. You should be proud of yourself!" You smiled at him.

"I'm always proud of myself. Well, now home?" Jungkook asked.

"Yeah, let me just get my things and we'll be good to go." You said as you packed your bag up.

There Jungkook standing looking at you and your curves. He was really so rude to you at first but now he was cooperating with you. He does everything you told him and obediently he did that. As you were busy packing your things. He grabbed your diary across the table to hand over to you.

But before that he looked through the pages of the diary. First few pages, you marked all your day to day plan. Yet as he turn the pages over he looked the brief description you have pointed about everyone. This was something you do whenever you find someone interesting. You always note down their physical and behavioural characteristics about them. Because in a thought that maybe it'll help you in the near future on your books. You always make your books character with attachment of the real people existed. It's kind of a thing you really like.

"His deep ocean eyes when he looked at his rival. For me it his dark hairs which he glides with his veiny hands." Jungkook louldy sang. As you didn't noticed that Jungkook already have your diary and you're looking for it. But those lines he sang just clicked your mind.

"Jungkook! What the hell? Give me my diary." You shouted at him and punched his arms.

"Dude, I'm giving. Wait, let me read some more." Jungkook chuckled devilishly.

"Give me or I'll leave." You rolled your eyes. As he gave the diary back to you. You look at the pages he turn over and generously you looked at it. Properly examining if he fold any of the pages.

"It's okay. I didn't eat your pages." He rolled his eyes.

"I'll check that up." You arrogantly said as you pick your bag up and left for home.

The lines Jungkook read loudly was actually about him. You have written everything about him which you find interesting. You don't want to reveal your secret that you liked him. But you just wished that he didn't read his name there.

As soon as you went home, you got Jungkook's text. It's now kind of become a routine for you to get text from him at night. The whole day you just spend with him and at night we wished you 'sleep well' to end the day. You can't thank your boss enough for him. He's rude but kind. You're annoying but sweet.

"Today we don't have many work Jungkook. You can take a leave today. " You said as you pile up the papers.

"It's okay, I'll help you." Jungkook nonchantly said.

"Well, I also don't have work. So, I'm leaving already." You chuckled.

"It's only afternoon dude." Jungkook sighed

"So? You're so enthusiastic to work, huh?" You asked.

"For you." Jungkook sighed under his breath.

"Wait. You're free now? Any plans for evening?" He asked.

"No I guess. Will eat and watch something so far." You excitedly said.

"Let's hangout?" Jungkook smirked

"Huh? With whom?" You dumbly asked.

"With me of course dude. You and me. I never have talked to you in person. You always so professional." Jungkook giggled

"Umm... I might be - " you got intreuppted by him.

"Please don't say no. I also want to know why every one wants you be there bestfriend." Jungkook pleased. You really want to go at the first go but you want him to plead to you. And he did, and you accepted that.

"Okay then but home by night." You smiled. 

He accepted and asked you to wait for him till he take his car at the front. You waited for him at the main door. But you saw he forget his phone at the table. And repeatedly his phone just lights up as there were messages flooded on his phone. You decided to peep into it. Your inner detective rises as you checked his phone. You know it's wrong to check anyone's personal thing but he also did first with your diary. You looked at the top messages, it's filled with many flirty girls texts, some work related texts and lastly Seokjin text which popped up as soon as you open it.

Your inner self was burning right then. You thought Jungkook was not like that but you were wrong. He was like that, a total rude brat. But before you he acts like all sweet and flirty. Yet he was totally the different personality in real. He still thinks of you as a ugly and rival person. You can't process what did he mean by 'I'll fuck a pig than you'. You were keep repeating the lines in your head. The more you imagine it, the more your blood was boiling for him. He was traitor or a chameleon who only knows how to changes colour. You can guess how he thinks about you. He only thinks about you as a ugly, little and fatty bestfriend of his rival. You just want to see him and kick him so hard and want to know why he acts like he actually interested in you.

You were already been worse , you don't want anymore to get worst. You only need to go home and drift in your blanket and sleep till you forget that Jungkook is okay to fuck a pig but not you.

You left for your home without greeting Jungkook a bye. You don't want to hangout with him anymore. You now just want him to beg you to fuck him. You're a total psychopath for this. Your ego is far more bigger than anything in this world. Either he should beg you to fuck him or you never will see his face. You know your ways how to do that. As you think, Jungkook already called you to enquire why did you left after promising for hanging out. But you declined the call. He texted you over hundreds time to know what's wrong with you. But neither you did answer. You were completely ignoring him.

The past days you just ignored him, his texts and calls everything. Everytime he comes to talk to you at interval you just passed him. If comes to ask you something you directed him to the other managers. Even ones he asked you why you were acting so differently and ignoring him. But you straight up rolled your eyes on him. He got so annoyed by your actions. He only wants to know if he made some mistakes. But more than the mistakes you feel that it's a double game. He only wants to insult you and nothing else. You also know it's better to stay away from double faced people.

You were at your workplace constantly ignoring Jungkook. You never pick any personal calls during your work. But as it's lunch time and Jimin was calling you, being a good bestfriend you picked it up.

"Bestie! You're at work?" Jimin asked through the phone.

"Umm.. yeah. Anything?" You said.

"Today, I prepared dinner for you. Specially for you. Please come over at my place." Jimin said.

"Ahhh! Jimin! Tonight I can't. There's a lot of undone work." You ranted.

"You always say this things. Shut up, you have to. Else I will pick you up. Okay?" Jimin asked smiling.

"No need to come here. I'll come, it'll be late." You sighed.

"Great bae. Love you always." Jimin sang.

"Meet you tonight. Bye." You said.

"Say it back, piggy." Jimin shouted.

"Ahhhh love you Jimin! Bye." You also sang the same way he did and declined the call. You were already tired and again you have to go there.

Someone was there to noticed all the things you were doing, it's Jungkook. He heard all the talks with Jimin. Heard the way you have a plan tonight with Jimin, the way you sang love you to Jimin and the way you were giggling all the time talking to Jimin and not him. His inner spirit boiled to know you were again talking to that little brat who was his rival and he got jealous that you never hangout with him but you at once get ready to hangout with Jimin. He couldn't sit with his inner boiling ego. He need to ask you what happened, why did you hangout with Jimin and many other questions which a boyfriend need to ask his girlfriend. Time by time there was some sudden urge which keep him engaged with you. It  could be your personality, your way of showing emotions and everything you do. He also fall for you but still didn't know it.

Jungkook just entered the room where you were working and shut the door arrogantly. You were amazed what he just did but without caring much you did your work.

"Working, huh?" He asked. You just nodded a yes.

"Free tonight? Thinking of taking you to any restaurant." Jungkook smirked.

"Busy tonight. Hope you will understand." You rolled your eyes.

"Busy tonight with your boyfriend Jimin, huh?" Jungkook chuckled devilishly. Your eyes just burned to hear that. You frowned.

"Sry, my mistake. I mean your so called best friend Jimin." Jungkook rolled his eyes.

"Jungkook, mind your own business." You shouted. He walk up to you and stand straight right before your face.

"Now,I understand why Jimin broke up with Areum. Jimin got you." He said as he pinned you at the wall. He thoroughly looked into your eyes leaving no gap. His hot steamy breath could be sensed by your cold skin. Each word he spokes makes your heart pound. His wide chest touches your torso. He was furious and angry that time you could clearly guess. But more he come nearer to you. You felt like hugging him. Instead of asking him to leave you, you just glared into his eyes. Both of you were stolen in each other eyes. No one was taking back.

"Love you Jiminiee." Jungkook mimicked you.

"Jungkook, stop it"

"Tell me that you love Jimin and I'll leave."

"What if we stand like this forever." You winked.

"Don't play with me, ____(y/n)" Jungkook smirked as he come closer to your face.

"What if I kiss you now?" You smirkingly said.

"Then do that! Jimin again got a cheater girlfriend. Poor Jimin." Jungkook giggled.

"I'm glad that he didn't get a girlfriend like Areum." You frowned.

"Mind your business. Dare not to speak anything about them." Jungkook arrogantly said.

"Who started, huh? Who's now pinning me? Who's jealous about Jimin? Who wants to take me to dinner? Hear yourself, baby." You playfully winked as you punched him to get off from him. He took a back from you.

"Seokjin is right my taste is real bad. Live with your Jimin happily." Jungkook said.

"First of all he's right to say that. Having a friend like Seokjin shows your taste. Secondly, Jimin is not my boyfriend. Lastly, don't ever dare to talk to me and fuck off." You ranted as you leave the room.

(✿ ♡‿♡) (✿ ♡‿♡) (✿ ♡‿♡)

TAGS : @mellie1409 @pariyansha @alienatedkitten @chans-baby-girl @mwitsmejk @hello-stranger24 (sry the tags are not working)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 308: VIBE: CHECKED

Previously on BnHA: Lots and lots of Shindou idk what else to tell you.

Today on BnHA: Tired Nomad Deku rescues Shindou from Muscular, and us from Shindou. Muscular is all “OH BOY I SURE CAN’T WAIT TO FIGHT DEKU AGAIN AFTER HE TOTALLY KICKED MY ASS THE LAST TIME!! I’M SURE THIS TIME WILL GO DIFFERENTLY SEEING AS HE’S HAD ALMOST AN ENTIRE YEAR’S WORTH OF ADDITIONAL TRAINING, AND ALSO HAS SIX FOURQUIRKS NOW, IN ADDITION TO THE CONFIDENCE THAT COMES WITH HAVING EIGHT OTHER PEOPLE’S SOULS CHILLING OUT INSIDE HIM OFFERING MORAL SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT.” Deku is all, “[kicks Muscular’s ass effortlessly].” Muscular is all, “[gets his ass totally kicked].” I for one am very satisfied with this, and with respect to all, I would like to hereby declare this post a discourse-free zone. I’m just happy to see my son out here making good use of his FOURQUIRKS, and more importantly beating Muscular in less than seventeen pages so we can all go on with our lives lol.

damn Deku since when were you allowed to look this cool

from this perspective and with the smoke, cape, backpack, and mask more or less obscuring his actual profile, he looks less like a sixteen-year-old boy and more like a grownass man

OH SNAP

we got a glimpse of this in the cleaned-up scan of 307, but seeing both of his eyes looking so distinctively All Might-esque here is... whoa. I mean we know that his face still looks pretty normal underneath the mask and he doesn’t actually have the black sclera, but still, this is an awesome look. mini-Might

lol Muscular

you and me both. I mean no offense, but yeah

so Deku is just standing there silently

typical Deku. tight-lipped and expressionless. mum’s the word. quiet as a mouse. silent as a grave

okay no but seriously this is so weird and creepy though you guys. Deku please say something or else I’m just gonna mindlessly say whatever stupid things come into my head in an effort to make things less awkward

so Muscular is all “I should probably make a cool speech about revenge but Horikoshi couldn’t think of anything good so I’m just going to stand here clenching my fist real slowly”

“I’m not here to go on a monologue” he says, as he monologues about not monologuing

okay you guys I confess I have only read through/watched the Deku VS Muscular fight once because the arm-breaking is just way too uncomfortable for me to revisit. and so as a result, I have completely forgotten Whatever The Deal Is with Muscular’s eye lmao so let me go look it up real quick

okay so it’s a prosthetic, obviously, and he changes it out according to his mood. that part does sound familiar. I just can’t remember which eye is supposed to indicate which mood. don’t tell me I actually have to go back and reread this shit

lol I’m skimming through chapter 75 now and remembering/realizing that I hardly paid any attention to this the first time around because as soon as I found out the villains were after Kacchan my brain was like “TIME TO FOCUS ON THIS AND ONLY THIS NOW AND FOREVER” and yeah. ah memories

anyway so he started out with the flower-looking eye, and then later on he was all

which begs the question, how on earth could I have ever forgotten the most ridiculous panel I’ve ever read lmao

anyway, but so after all of that, I'm only just now realizing that this isn't one of his previous eye prosthetics in the current chapter; this is an ACTUAL FUCKING ROCK that he's just randomly shoved into his eye socket fkdsjlk

so basically (1) I did all of that painstaking research for nothing, five whole minutes of my life wasted THANKS A LOT, and (2) what, and I have never meant this more emphatically, THE FUCK

anyway so now he's leaping at the building that Deku is standing on top of. but he’s not aiming anywhere near Deku though, wtf

(ETA: HAHA YOU BROKE ALL YOUR MUSCLES YOU LOSER.)

...huh

lmao okay then. I hope those annoying citizens in the building next door are watching this go down and rethinking their life choices

dlkdkljk

just keep standing there pressed right up against the window, why don’t you. “WHAT’S GOING ON THIS SUPER CLOSE COLLAPSING BUILDING IS BLOCKING OUR VIEW.” well, folks, we’ve long since known there’s a critical shortage of hero and villain brain cells, but what we’re learning now is that civilian brain cells are also in short supply

OH THANK GOD DEKU IS FINALLY TALKING THAT WAS ACTUALLY UNSETTLING AS FUCK

SO HE’S STILL OUR GOOD, POLITE, WORRIED, CONSIDERATE DEKU UNDERNEATH THAT COOL AND MYSTERIOUS VENEER. for real, thank fuck, because I swear to god if he suddenly started acting like the Dekus in all of the vigilante AUs my interest in this series would have dropped something like 50% lol. just because he dropped out of school and ran away from home and is currently dressed like the physical manifestation of a Linkin Park playlist doesn’t mean he’s not still the WORLD’S BIGGEST DORK okay

I MEAN, THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. HE’S APOLOGIZING FOR THE DELAY

PLEASE FIND THE ATTACHED SHINDOU YOU REQUESTED. BEST REGARDS!!!

OH MY GOD WHY IS HE SUCH A BADASS

something about making bold, confident statements while obscured in smoke?? idk but damn it fucking works

ffjkkl

more importantly, should you tell him you actually need your copy of Shindou in excel format and not pdf?? on the one hand you don’t want to sound ungrateful, but on the other hand what are you even supposed to do with this

this chapter so far consists of like 50% smoke, but on the other hand Deku VS Kacchan 2 had a lot of cinematic smoke too so who am I to complain

OMG IS IT HIS ARMS

IDK DID YOU?! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS. PLEASE, AT SOME POINT THIS FIGHT HAS GOT TO ACTUALLY ADVANCE THE PLOT

OHHHHHHH

IT’S EN’S QUIRK!! OH MY GOD OKAY THAT’S ACTUALLY AWESOME

I CAN HEAR THE SOUND OF DISCOURSE RUMBLING IN THE BACKGROUND BUT I DON’T CARE LOL. WON’T CATCH ME EVER SAYING NO TO ANOTHER SIXQUIRK. GO AHEAD, BRING THEM ON, I WANT TO SEE THEM ALL but take it easy though Deku. don’t want to give yourself lung cancer or anything

also it’s good to see that in a very real sense he’s not fighting alone. the Vestiges really did mean it when they said they could appear more easily now. this is on a whole other level

so is this whole next page still En talking, or someone else? because whoever it is sure is chatty

okay, several things

pretty sure it is En, because he keeps saying “I suppose.” for someone who never said two words until one page ago, this guy sure never shuts up. we can’t all follow Muscular’s lead I suppose. oh my god now I’m doing it too

really like the suggestion of Deku using the SIXQUIRKS like tools in an arsenal, because that’s what he’s good at! it’s almost like he’s been training for this his entire life. “you value quirks too much�� LOOK HE JUST THINKS THEY’RE COOL OKAY IS THAT A CRIME

where the fuck did all this rope come from

not gonna ask what the fuck that thing is sticking out from the back of his utility belt. Horikoshi will surely explain this

is that a fucking jetpack. I’m sorry Deku were six fucking quirks not enough for you. you can fucking float??? but JUST TO BE SAFE, LET’S STRAP A PAIR OF ROCKETS TO OUR SHOULDERS IDK

-- or wait, is this all supposed to be like a visual representation of En’s metaphor?? OH MY GOD AM I JUST STUPID LOL, DON’T ANSWER THAT. NEVER MIND. NEW LIST!!

rope = blackwhip

jetpack = float

radio = danger sense

and so I’m guessing that this ridiculously phallic thing is supposed to be a flare or something?? and that = the new quirk, smokescreen. well that was a fucking ride lmao we now return you to our regularly scheduled chapter

so now Deku is floating to his heart’s content and thinking that he’ll just sneak up on Muscular and vibe check his ass or whatever

WOOOOOOOO DANGER SENSE YESSSS I LOVE THIS FOR HIM

okay guys, I'm gonna press pause here for a sec to make a serious note, because I am loving the shit out of this, but tbh I'm having trouble enjoying it as much as I want to because I keep getting anxious thinking about the discourse. I know that a lot of the fandom has very strong opinions on Deku's character development one way or the other, and I want to respect that. but I also really have no spoons to debate this topic at all beyond what I’ve already weighed in on. so if it’s all the same to everyone, I plan on staying out of this discussion, at least this week

anyway! that said, YEAH BOI GET HIS ASS

VIBE: CHECKED. CURB: STOMPED. HOTEL: TRIVAGO

-- OF COURSE HE’S STILL FUCKING FINE LOL HE CRASHES INTO BUILDINGS FOR FUN IDK WHAT I WAS EXPECTING

dammit Muscular. how many fucking quirks does it take to beat you?! the annoying thing is that even with all of his cool new powers, Deku is still something of a mismatch against him. anyway r.i.p. to all these poor buildings

OOOOOHHHHH

you guys have no idea how intrigued I am at the prospect of watching Deku try to play both good cop and bad cop here lmao

anyway so Muscular says he doesn’t know, go figure

“I’m not here to make small talk or anything” he says as he small talks about not small talking

OH MY GOD DEKU

are you really gonna talk no jutsu all of these villains from now on?? that last battle really did have a profound impact on you, huh! interesting

you guys he’s really doing it omg

Deku this guy tried to murder a five-year-old literally just for fun. I mean more power to you, but holy shit you’re really gonna try to defeat Muscular with anger management therapy huh

I MEAN

WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THAT RESPONSE COMING dlkjslkjk

FUCK’S SAKE DEKU, I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL BUT THEY CAN’T ALL HAVE TRAGIC PASTS KIDDO

but. I have to admit, I do still like that he tried. probably knew just as well as we did what the end result was going to be, but still. he made the effort in good faith and I respect that

uh oh

why do I get the feeling Muscular just got a whole lot deader

oh my god oh my god he’s doing the “powering up” stance ffff don’t fucking tell me you can still use your fucking arms here, Deku

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY WHAT’S THIS??

okay so basically he’s saying that whatever it was he sensed in Tomura, he doesn’t sense from Muscular. which, yeah, that sounds exactly right. good judge of character here lol

AHHHHAHAHA YESS

WHOOPS, GET FUCKED I GUESS

WOOOOHOOOOOOOO

lmao so apparently this is the belated result of Shindou’s attack from chapter 307?? I’ll be damned. good for you Shindou!! I always liked you buddy. please just take my word on that and don’t fact check that statement

okay lol the one tiny bit of discourse I will allow is that it’s bullshit that he just did that with his right arm. like, I’ll fully acknowledge that. that makes no fucking sense, and I demand an explanation from the Great Plot Hole Filler himself. he’s never let us down before when it comes to continuity so I’m trusting him not to suddenly start now

that said, we love to see a rematch against a boring guy settled quickly and decisively within the span of a single chapter. THANK YOU

I like that Deku implies that his power is being a smart nerd who battles villains using the power of ANALYTICS. he basically didn’t do anything except restrain Muscular and wait for Shindou’s attack to take effect while halfheartedly checking to see if he regretted any of that murder and stuff

(ETA: and almost forgot to mention, he made excellent use of all four of his active SIXQUIRKS. it’s like the chapter title said; this is basically him fighting all-out, and it’s a sight to see.)

also, as cool as the mask was, this just feels right. like, we had our fun, now let us see his face, yes good

anyway, I think this was a good start towards establishing What’s Up With Deku Right Now! so if it’s all the same to Horikoshi, I would next like to take some time to explore Why’s Up With Deku. that, and What’s Up With Everyone Else, Especially Kacchan. por favor

[jypbae7]

Im Changkyun - Natal Chart

- requested by @jookyunz

Can’t remember if you wanted the 18+ section so I included it at the bottom and marked it incase you wanna skip it ❤️

(Not claiming to be an expert this is just for fun please don’t take anything too seriously!) Hope this is helpful and that you enjoy it 🥰❤️

Personality: Aquarius Sun, Aries Moon, Capricorn Mercury, Aquarius Mars

Aquarius Sun comes with lots of intrigue and lots of complexity - like the other air signs Aquarius is very adaptable and tends to prefer an “exciting life” (though earth signs tend to see this lifestyle as pure chaos lmao)

Aquarians tend to be intrigued by mystical things due to their very logical view of the world, this logical side can often lend to them coming off as cold or aloof but it’s less about that and more about their need to rule with the head and not the heart in order to avoid being thrown off the balance that they like (Aqua is a fixed sign) also they do NOT want to be hurt by people so the guard they have up towards the world is basically an iron curtain till they develop enough trust with you

Aries Moon is equally as spontaneous and adaptable but for a different motivation - Aries is bold and wants the most out of life and you can bet your bottom dollars they’ll do WHATEVER necessary to gain the lifestyle and goals they set for themselves.

But since they are naturally social butterflies and genuinely just want to have fun and encourage the people they love to reach for their dreams and have fun doing it, they tend to succeed rather easily since people are drawn to them. - All about confidence, bold styles, working hard because they NEED to be the best at whatever they do, but they definitely play hard too (as does every fire sign lmao)

As much as Aries and Aquarius like change and excitement - Capricorn Mercury does NOT. This adds a LOT of grounding and “tradition” to quick moving Aries and unconventional Asquarius.

Capricorn Mercurys are known to speak slow, quite monotonous and precise which I definitely have always felt about Changkyun. You’re not getting too much fluff or extra words from them because Capricorn finds it a waste of energy. They say what they mean when they mean it and not much else more. But this means they are good listeners and are very comfortable and unreliant on “attention” or “being in the spotlight” giving them added levels of independence. I also feel that this is why they are sooooo unbothered by other people’s opinions and friendship.

Aquarians straight up rather be alone than around fake people. They don’t care if they “fit in” with general norms because they don’t want to be like anyone else anyway lmao and they are interesting enough to keep themselves entertained. While Capricorn and Aries have places to go, people to see, and goals to crush so why the hell be worried about others???

Mixed with the other 2 placements it’s likely that his home is a serious sanctuary for him that he takes seriously. When he’s out in the world doing his busy schedules and chaotic traveling and work he’s happy and really feeding into the air and fire energy. But when he gets home it’s his Capricorn Mercury that is being nurtured and stimulated. He’s going to wanna hibernate there for a while without leaving especially if he’s been gone a long time. Could be either unbelievably messy or unbelievably neat but likely no inbetween with these placements lmao.

Aquarius Mars.... reminder that Aquarius is a fixed sign so this in Mars could mean one HELL of a temper or at least rage once he’s set off. But thankfully the Airy nature of Aqua means you’d really have to mess with him to get that kind of reaction because they generally really dislike being upset. They prefer staying content and neutral rather than having extreme feelings of any kind or it makes them veryyyyy edgy. If you can disagree with respect and if you provide logic instead of ego as your argument you’re likely to get a much better reaction from Aquarius

Relationships:

Non-Romantic Relationships & overall communication style: Aquarius Sun, Aries Moon, Capricorn Mercury, Aquarius Mars

Boy oh boyyyyyy he takes a LONG time to open up to people - 2 Aquarius placements and a Capricorn placement screamssssss trust issues and vulnerability issues

Capricorn doesn’t wanna sulk and talk about their problems so IF they trust you enough to come to you with an issue they want solutions and practical help and support

Is really cheered up by acts of service and quality time - watching a great movie even in complete silence just near each other on the couch in sweats tucked under cozy blankets or getting surprised with their favorite dinner can boost their mood instantly

Aries Moon as I said before is a natural in social situations and tends to draw attention even when they aren’t trying so he’s bound to come off a lot more open and friendly than he actually is. The deep stuff won’t come out till he REALLY knows and trusts you and even then… in SMALL increments

That said he’s a super fun friend to have - down for adventures, actually thinks about and puts effort into doing cool stuff with friends and loved ones

When it comes to friendships he shows care through quality time and acts of service

When he buys gifts for people he cares about they are BOMB - cool as fuck and either one or a combination of the following: one of a kind, meaningful as fuck, and/ or super expensive - most likely fashion, jewelry, something music related, or super cool stuff from his travels

Romantic relationships and preferences : Pisces Venus, Aquarius Mars, Aquarius Juno, Aries Eros

Lmao even MORE Aquarius and Aries energy

Ok into the main meat - these four placements are particularly interesting combo: 2 fixed air (Aqua), 1 mutable water (Pisces) and 1 Cardinal Fire (Aries)

Aqua Juno - generally hints at a pretty unconventional relationship and this can come in manyyyyy forms for the very unique and varied Aquarians (partnership without legal marriage, mixed race/culture couple, could even mean choosing a bachelor lifestyle over any normal type of relationship, etc.) - given that Changkyun seems quite close with his parents and his interest in kids I’d say he’s unlikely to choose the bachelor route.

For a lot of Aquarians unconventional can also come in the form of a very stimulating partner, they enjoy learning and expanding their minds and experiences which is why they tend to run towards challenges that others would run from. I think someone who shares similar passions but varied skills and/or background would fulfil that for him. Aquarius, Pisces and Aries like to be stimulated A LOT.

Pisces in Venus is a tricky placement - can be pretty hot and cold, lots of mixed signals, you should be ready to be stood up or flaked on atleast once in the beginning🙄) BUT if you actually manage to earn their trust and dedication they make very caring partners.

Pisces in Venus is art gallery and museum dates, binge watching documentaries especially murder mystery, and spending most of the summer near the closest body of water.

Aries Eros fantasizes about being in a partnership that others look at as a power couple but they’ll never admit it - they dream of a partner who is in awe of them and their accomplishments but has their own big goals and successes to cater to as well. They like people they can grow with as individuals and as a couple. Push and pull works really well with Aries (and the other two fire signs too honestly) they like the cat and mouse thing and they like to have time to miss & yearn for their partner especially the men - absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Love languages in order from most to least: quality time, physical touch, acts of service, gift giving

Aries is a strong sign and they want and need a real partner who respects and supports their independence and boss energy but also can nurture their softer more vulnerable side and be the strong one for them when they need it

***** 18+ Preferences ****

Ooof this should honestly come as a surprise to NO ONE but damn placements do NOT lie...Im Changkyun is one freaky ass boy

I mean ARIES EROS???? Let me spell that out for y’all: fucks you like he absolutely fucking hates you or ties you up like a present and edges you for hours till you’re crying

LOVES, let me repeat LOVES jealousy sex - whether it’s you being jealous of all the screaming thirsting fans he has or him being jealous of guys getting too close too you for his comfort - he is allllllllll about taking that energy directly into the bedroom ASAP (or a bathroom or even closet if it locks 🤐)

Could and WOULD makeout for hours on end - especially if he’s been drinking

The more you switch it up the more excited he is - with all them Aquarius placements it should be pretttyyyyyy often

Different positions, lingerie, role play - any and all of it excite him

With a partner he actually trusts and has feelings for I can see him being extremely open minded to trying things (though obviously EVERYONE has limits and boundaries)

Toys, blindfolds, handcuffs, whip cream, hot wax, spanking - all a STRONG yes

Get the strong feeling he has strong preference to use his mouth often - lots of kissing (passionate, needy, messy - sometimes more aggressive) , likes to give and receive hickeys, wants to kiss all over his partner’s body and LOVES oral both receiving and giving (and I get the feeling he’s TOO good at that 👀)

More willing to let his partner take control than you might think - he’s not a switch but he just doesn’t think you initiating or “being in control” makes him any less dominant. In fact it’s probably the opposite; you showing your desire to that point actually makes him feel MORE dominant and masculine

Literally could find anyone and everyone beautiful - is more attracted to people’s minds, spirit and energy than physical looks (BIG Pisces and Aquarian thing)

Gets turned on every single time he sees you in the crowd at one of his shows - makes him feel like you are the only two people in the world (drives his Aries Eros INSANE - gets a kick out of the slight power play of being on stage in front of so many people, as well as the secrecy and raw passionate energy of it all)

Tattoos, piercings, colorful wigs, or even just interesting jewelry paired with the right lingerie or outfit will have him 🤯- think short black see-through lace robe with nothing on underneath except a sparkling body chain dripping from your body....yep he’ll eat you like a main dish in .00000000023 seconds

Hope you enjoyed! 💕

[alreadyblondenow]

And he never heard from her again

▸ Jaehyun x reader ▸ Smut, Angst, Idol au

Summary: As you lay at the hospital bed unconscious, Jaehyun blames himself because of the accident and regrets the time when he took you for granted.

Word count: 4k

Warnings: Sex, sex, car accident, major character loss (that spoils everything but you’ve been warned), possessiveness, making of sex tape, mentions of multiple sex tapes, swearing, mentions of other idols, unprotected sex, mentions of alcohol, Jaehyun accidentally hurts the reader. Click away if any of the warnings makes you uncomfortable.  

A/N: PURE FICTION! Enjoy another idol au from me. 

Wet.

Minty.

Cold.

“Wake up sleepy head” your boyfriend spreads wet kisses around your exposed skin. Anything he could reach, your neck, your thighs, your lips. It feels good to be showered with love first thing in the morning but you shrug him off and pull the blanket over your head because you want to sleep more. “I’m sorry to disturb your sleep princess, but it’s time to go now” you smell his fresh breath near your face. And when you finally meet his eyes, your boyfriend is all dressed up, ready to start his schedules for today.

“Oh Jung Jaehyun, you have worn me out last night” you whine but you force yourself to wake up. Jaehyun is looking at your morning face and naked body, admiring the beauty of his girlfriend. “No shower sex today?” he gave you a good morning kiss and chuckled at your question.

“No, sleeping beauty. If only you got up a little early then, yeah we could have. But, you were sleeping so soundly I couldn’t wake you up. Now come on, have breakfast with me before the van arrives with my manager” he offers you his hand to help you get up, giving you his robe to cover yourself.

It was your second anniversary last night and you two had dinner in one of the fanciest restaurants in Seoul. The food was amazing as expected, Jaehyun picked a fine wine which made you two a little buzzed and ended up in his house and had crazy anniversary sex to end the night.

Dating a very famous kpop star like Jaehyun is not a walk in the park. But loving each other and giving the relationship a chance is always worth it. The busy schedule is something you and Jaehyun always fight about, but as you two keep on holding on you both managed your busy schedules and always meet each other halfway just so you can spend time with each other. Who would have thought that believing that your relationship could work brought you two deeper into loving each other?

After you had your shower, Jaehyun booked you a cab to make sure you get home safely. You see, even for Jaehyun, watching you leave every morning is something he really hates. “Call me when you’re home okay? I’ll pick up, I’m having my makeup done by that time” he kissed you deeply and passionately before he opens the door for you and watches you get inside the cab.

Soon, the white van appears in front of his house and Jaehyun said goodbye to his family thanking them once again for letting you and him crash for the night. His family always adored you, they love you even more because you take care of their dear Jaehyun and secretly hoping that it’s going to be the two of you in the end.

When Jaehyun is all settled and getting his make up done for NCT’s schedule for today, his phone rang and it was a call from you. Finally, he thought, his mood changed from quiet to giggly because you did not forget to call him. “I’m guessing you missed me already, that’s why you called?” he answers with a smile, the members beside him tease him continuously. He needed to gesture a ’shh’ sign because he can’t hear you.

“I’m sorry Mr. Jung but this is not Ms. Y/n. She got into a car accident this morning and we can’t reach anyone from her family. She is rushed to the Asan Medical Center. Your number is the only local number we could find if you could please-“

The shocking news made Jaehyun drop his phone and ran to his manager, asking him to please let him go to the hospital to see you. Jaehyun was desperate but the managers can’t let him go just like that. Spotting a kpop star inside a hospital can make a whole nation buzz, of course, they won’t let Jaehyun go to you. There are tears in his eyes as he imagines you alone and unconscious in a hospital bed while the members are trying to help him compose himself and tells him to be strong but Jaehyun was only quick to blame himself and cry some more. “This is all my fault”  

Twenty five months ago

Jung Jaehyun is mighty handsome.

The office is having an exclusive party at an open space rooftop bar. The party was not like any loud party, it's a party where people still talk about business and meet possible clients for the future. And meeting Jung Jaehyun and the other members of NCT 127 and their manager, is part of the purpose of this party.

And again, Jung Jaehyun is might handsome.

“How long have you been in the marketing industry?” he asks, leaning on the glass balcony with you. Looking at the wonderful view of Seoul.

“Long enough to be established?” you chuckled because you don’t want to sound so boastful with your life achievements.

For a minute it was an exchange of words, a decent conversation that’s in between being professional and being friends, but it soon turned to lowkey flirting and exchanging of glances. He tells you what’s on his mind, you listen and feel your heart skip a beat every time he look into your eyes and smile. “Can I be frank?” he licks his lips and drank from his bottle of beer, “I find you attractive and I want to keep talking to you and I want to know what you think about me- and don’t you dare lie, please”

You let out a scoff and smiled at him shyly, “Well, Jung Jaehyun you’re incredibly handsome. That has been going on through my head since I saw you earlier and you’ve been making my heart skip a beat for the last few minutes”

Satisfied with your answer, he came closer to you slowly. Like your bodies are magnets. You’re sure that the place isn’t quiet but this small space that you share with Jaehyun is dead silent. Only his breaths and yours are the only ones you can hear. Having this kind of moment with Jaehyun is kind of magical like you’re a princess who just met his destined prince in a ball.

The friendly and flirty conversation became something even more when Jaehyun became too bold with telling you how he wanted to end this night with you, when he pressed his cold bottle of beer just above your knee and when he starts caressing your shoulder like he’s not on a public place. You’re not stupid to see that he’s after having a one night stand with you. One thing led to another and the next thing you know is you’re back at your apartment, kissing Jaehyun on your couch with a long forgotten bottle of wine on the coffee table. It’s not right to sleep with your clients but nobody needs to know.

Jaehyun kissed you down on your couch, unbuttoning his dress shirt and revealing his abs to you. Your hands automatically roamed around his body and you feel him smile in between kissing you passionately. “You’re so handsome” you whisper, and guided his hand under your dress, he got the message and finger fucked you while you remove your clothes and bra, leaving your panties on to tease the handsome man kissing you.

“I’ll take you out on a date, I promise,” he says while unbuckling his belt, removing his pants and boxers brief.

Wow. He’s big. And he has a dick of a porn star, his pubic hair is so sexy and- “Oh-“ he devours your neck, biting and nibbling your ear making you giggle and laugh while your bodies grind on each other. “So this is not a one time thing?” you moan out and he stopped upon hearing your words. “What? No. Let’s see where this goes” his face was so close to yours and you can’t stop your smile because you couldn’t believe you scored Jung Jaehyun. Is this a dream?

“What’s that smile, hmm?” he nuzzles your neck and kisses it softly. You touch his dimples and lips but he’s quick to catch your hand with his mouth and kiss it. “I’m just a person who happens to be not immune by your charms. I’m not kissing you as a kpop star now, I’m kissing you as Jaehyun” he continues to spread kisses around your neck, down to your left boob, and suck it for some time.

“Can I remove your panties?” he asks oh so sweetly.

“Of course” you answer with a kiss and feel him remove your underwear without breaking the kiss. Once fully exposed, you feel his slender fingers play with your slit before he goes in finally, the tip of his cock making you jolt for a bit. You hear Jaehyun grunt and watch as his eyes close and part his lips as he pushes inside you slowly “Fuck” Jaehyun went straight to the point and fucks you deeply. Bodies to bodies while listening to each other’s breaths.  

You had sex for the first time on your couch on the night you two first met.

Present time

“Just sign here please, then your transaction is complete”

For the third time in the past two months, Jaehyun has been paying your hospital bills and has been taking care of you, while your family is finalizing some heavy paperwork before flying to Seoul. Not that he’s thankful for the awful accident, but the accident had become the way for Jaehyun to finally meet your family even if it’s through a video call. Jaehyun promised your parents to take care of everything while waiting for them and that he’ll gladly pay for the hospital bills and refuse to take your parent’s cash.

It’s been two months since the accident and every day without you is consistent torture for Jaehyun. As long as you’re not awake, he will never stop worrying for you. It doesn’t matter if he overworked himself to save money for the bills, as long it saves you he’s up for it.

Ever since the accident, Jaehyun and the other members help him look after you at the hospital. Of course, the members are worried about Jaehyun’s emotional state as they are worried about your condition. They made sure that you two get the emotional and physical support that you and Jaehyun need. SM managers were all nice and helped Jaehyun with everything they can just so your boyfriend can see you every day.  

It was not an easy fight for Jaehyun, but the people around him take care of him, while he takes care of you.

“The other two victims from the accident passed away this morning” Jaehyun informs Johnny as the two sit quietly near you. Watching his girlfriend on a hospital bed is a different kind of pain. He misses you a lot.

“Don’t overthink dude. She will be fine” to be honest Johnny doesn’t know how to comfort his friend.

As Jaehyun takes Johnny’s advice, he reminisces about the memories that he had with you. Everything, from happy memories to sad and awful ones. Regretting the times that he took you for granted and promised over and over again that if he’s given a second chance to love you, he will love you right this time.

“I wished for this accident to happen Johnny. It’s my fault” Jaehyun blurted out.

Johnny was shocked to the core and stopped what he’s doing with his phone, “What the fuck?”

Jaehyun told Johnny the story about the biggest fight you two had during the months when you were just a new couple. So new that your work schedules irritate the both of you and all you two did was have sex and forget the problem. The cycle went on and on until you had enough and you wanted to break up with him.

Five months of being together

In the middle of having dinner with Jaehyun in a private restaurant, you finally told him what you’ve been keeping inside your heart. “This will never work, Jae” he turned silent and pretends that he’s not hearing you and you find it disrespectful. He was smiling the whole time, asking you what do you want for dessert and pour you a glass of wine like there's nothing wrong.

“I’ll cut ties with you starting tonight Jae, and that’s my final decision” you wiped your lip with the table napkin and stand up from your seat.

“Wait- baby, okay I’m sorry” he stopped you from opening the door, pull you in an embrace and everything turned silent again. You still love him, but staying in this relationship is hurting both of you so you had to take the first step and leave. As usual, Jaehyun uses his charms to get away from the situation. He kisses your neck and tells you sweet things that will lead you to having sex with him in this room. But not anymore, you thought.

“Enough Jaehyun. Please stop” you begged him to stop kissing your neck. Slowly, you feel his embrace crushing you and hurting you. You try so hard to push him away but Jaehyun is naturally strong that whatever you do to push him away is nothing.

Eventually, he lets go and tell his sorry. “I’ll change, I swear”

“No-“

“Stop making it complicated!” he punched the door and the loud sound surrounds the small room making you scared of him. He was turning red and his eyes were full of anger like he’s about to hurt you.

“I want to leave-“

“Well, I hope you get into an accident” he opens the door for you, pushing you out of the room because he’s so angry he’s actually afraid he might hurt you.

The breakup did not push through because Jaehyun went to your apartment to ‘fix’ things, three days after the fight. He apologized with all his heart, telling you he’s sorry and that he won't do it again. He promised to change his ways and love you even more in exchange for taking him back to your life and give him a second chance. Apologies are nothing if a person will always do it again. It’s up to you if it’s still healthy to take him back into your life. And of course, you have a weak spot when it comes to Jaehyun. You love the man. And he loves you. He just sucks at showing it.

Now that Jaehyun is on his sixth chance, the change that you’ve been yearning for and the change that he promised is long forgotten. Days, weeks, and months passed by, you and Jaehyun still fight like crazy because of different reasons that piss you both. May it be jealousy, he stood you up on a date, you forgot that he’s going to visit you in your apartment, Jaehyun has no time for you, or you don’t want to have sex but he’s really horny.

“I had a company dinner tonight, baby I thought you understand that part?” you whine in frustration while you remove your watch and your earrings. Listening to Jaehyun as he shouts at you, telling you that he’s tired from practice but he still chose to visit you, only to find out that you’re not home. He kept on yelling his points and arguments, hurting you with words that you’ve heard him say before but still sounds like you’ve just heard them tonight.

“I waited for hours! If my career is ruined because of you, I swear!-“

“I can ruin your career in one click, Jaehyun. Do you want me to post all of our sex videos?” you finally bite back because you can't stand him already.

“Post all you want my fans will be happy seeing my dick but you, you will get all the hate in the world!”

“Fine then!” you threaten him of actually posting it, scrolling through your gallery to find your favorite video with him. “Ah! This!” you picked the video where Jaehyun was spitting on your boobs while two fingers are inside your mouth and his cock is inside you. He was wildly flirting with the camera like a porn star. His fans will not doubt that he is the guy from the video.

“Stop it. I mean it” he tried grabbing your phone but you’re quick to counter his move. For a minute, it became a violent push and pull that made him use his strength on you which is not fair. He threw your phone so hard on the nearest wall that it cracked and the screen got broken. He didn’t notice that he pushed you way too hard that you landed on the floor face first and made you bruise your face.

“Fuck- let's stop this, baby I’m sorry” he let out his frustration.  

“DON'T TOUCH ME! GET OUT!” you shouted so loud that you’re sure you hurt his ears. You slapped him so hard on the face when he came close to help you get up. He took it like a man, but it’s obvious that your slap hurt his pride. Thankfully, he did not pry and left your apartment quietly.

Present time

While Jaehyun was cleaning your face with a damped cloth, he noticed that your bruises are all healed. He remembered that one time when he had pushed you accidentally and you ended up having a cut just above your eyebrow. He also remembered how you slapped him so hard that it made him realize that all he’s ever done to you is hurt you. It was a wake up call for him.

“Slap me again. I don’t care just please wake up” he begs. Kissing your forehead before continuing to clean you up. It has been his routine to talk to you even though he gets nothing. Sometimes he plays you some music so you won't get bored in your sleep and also you would know that he’s inside the room with you. As he continues being like this, he never losses hope and always visit you with a cheerful aura, knowing all too well that being negative in this kind of situation will only make him go crazy.

“Maybe if I did let you break up with me the first time you said it, this wouldn’t happen to you. I’m sorry” he whispers again. Tucking you in your hospital bed and making sure that you won't get cold. He fixed the white sheet and smoothens it before laying beside you carefully.

“I just love you so much” he hugs you carefully, “That’s why I really can’t let you go. But look where my selfishness brought you” tears roll down on his cheeks, making your sleeves wet because of his continues crying.

When Jaehyun became busy with his career, he can’t visit you every day anymore but confident that you’re in good hands because your parents are with you now. Nonetheless, he never forgets to call the doctor to check up on you. Sometimes, he and Taeyong write lyrics in your room just so he can spend time with you while he’s still working on his music. To be honest, he produces great lyrics whenever he works beside you. It was too much for him that sometimes he cries while writing the lyrics and Taeyong is quick to bring him back to focus and comfort him.

First month of being together

The continuous ringing of your doorbell makes you panic for nothing and quickly ran to your door to open it. “Jaehyun, what are you doing here?” you look outside to check if it’s safe and that none of your neighbors is watching.

“I just miss you so much I’m itching to see you” he cupped your cheeks and kissed you passionately, closing your door shut and motioning your bodies straight to your bedroom. You two were quick to get naked and meet in the middle of your bed to kiss and fuck already.

“Can’t believe I’m letting you fuck me in the middle of the afternoon Jaehyun” you lay comfortably in bed as Jaehyun kiss you wherever he wants, however, he pleases. Kneading your boobs and sucking them from time to time, spreading spit all over your body, and licking your pussy. He surprised you by spreading your folds and spitting on your pussy, licking you good, and making you moan and whine.

“Still on the pill?” he asks, pumping his cock and sucking your right nipple as he waits for your answer. You nod your head. Jaehyun folds both of your legs and spread them wide until your hips are not touching the mattress giving Jaehyun a nice angle to fuck you deeply. He pushed in slowly while watching you beneath him, he watches you grab your boobs and moan a little too loud. “I want to do something fun, will you let me?” he asks in between fucking you deep and slow, you wonder what he has in mind.

“Whatever you want” you smile and watch him reach something on the side table. He opens your phone and put it in recording mode, taking a video of his cock going in and out of your pussy, switching the camera to selfie mode, and put it on the side of your bed. Telling you to smile while he continues to fuck you. “Clever,” you said, as you two look at the camera while having sex. You smiled and asked him to flirt with the camera so whenever you watch it, it will make your heart jump and you won't miss him that much when he’s away. And so he did. He flirts in the camera like how he flirts with you normally in bed, kissing you while he looks at the camera, putting his idol skills to good use in bed.

“Turn around for me please” you followed what he asked of you and lay on your stomach. Jaehyun put your phone in front of you and dragged you all the way down to your bed so you two can fit the screen. He puts your ass up in the air, lick your pussy from behind, and went back to fucking you. Jaehyun loves to fuck you hard from behind while his hand is on your nape, pushing your face on the mattress as he pounds you hard.

“FUCK” you cursed loudly when you feel his thumb go inside your asshole slowly, making your pussy clench and unclench. A tight feeling for Jaehyun’s cock which he loves. He lets go after a minute and put his fingers on your clit, making you let go and cum so good that your legs are shaking and your legs are giving on you. You feel Jaehyun slow down and feel him cum inside you, leaning down to kiss you and ask you if you’re alright.

He saved the video and put your phone back on the side table and went back to shower your body with kisses while you two calm down from your high. “Sorry if this is spontaneous” he lays beside you, tired and sweaty.

“It’s okay baby, I miss you too”

“Baby?” he smiled in disbelief.

“Yes,” you rolled your eyes and continue to catch your breath.

“Say it again? Please?” he asked oh so sweetly showing off his dimples. Your weakness.

“Baby-“ he devours your lips again after hearing you call him ‘baby’. A small gesture that makes his heart jump.

“That’s it, okay? We're together now and that’s official. Understand?” he kissed you deeply again before you could even say something else. You smile through the kiss amused at how happy Jaehyun is while he’s on top of you. You two stayed like that in bed talking about anything and everything, admiring each other while you’re skin to skin, asking for kisses here and there, laughing together whenever he tells you something funny.

From the moment Jaehyun left you that day, your life changed and Jaehyun is the reason behind it. Bittersweet. That’s the perfect word for your relationship. No relationship is perfect, you’re well aware of that. And dating a famous idol can be so complicated that it drives you both crazy. But still, it’s a relationship worth saving for because you love each deeply than you could have ever imagined.

Present time  

Waiting is long suffering. That is clear to Jaehyun, now that you’re already sleeping for a year and four months, slowly his hope is already running thin. Not only that he’s suffering emotionally these past few months, but he’s also suffering financially and has become a man full of debts. He loaned money from his company, the bank, even from his parents, just so your hospital bills can be covered. Accepting every kind of project and working from sun up to sun down just so he can provide your needs.

Your parents needed to go back home and entrust you to Jaehyun because they don’t have any other options.

Life is becoming harder than expected.

Now that he’s away for a tour, he became even more depressed because he can’t be by your side. He asked his parents to take care of you while he’s on tour, which they gladly accepted and made sure to call him every day to tell him your condition even though he hears exactly the same thing every day.

“Great job today everyone!”

The members and staffs congratulate each other as they finish another successful concert in the states. Hugs everywhere, and a lot of ‘thank yous’ are said, smiling through the day as Jaehyun ready himself to call his mother and ask about you.

“34 missed calls” he murmurs and went somewhere quiet to call his mother and ask about the 34 missed calls. They should know that he’s working.

“Hey, mom. W-why so many calls? I was doing a show- did she wake up already?” The other line was silent but he can hear his mom breathing, “Hello?” Jaehyun speaks again.

“She gave up son, she passed away, two hours ago”

Jaehyun’s world came crashing down as he reaches for the nearest wall to support himself because his knees gave up on him. Tears pool in his eyes as he cries quietly, holding his phone so tightly. He screamed and sobbed so loud it echoes to the empty hallway. Thankfully Mark saw him and called the others and his manager.

“I didn’t even get to say goodbye!” he yelled and push the other members away as he lets that sadness take him away.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry Y/n, please forgive me!”

[iamnightduchess]

May I ask for your nsfw reikasa headcanons 😳 for the As you Are universe and the It’s Gotta Be you universe? 😁

Did someone ask for some N.S.F.W headcanons? *__*

ReiKasa Fic AU/Modern AUHeadcanons (R18+) #1

Hello Nonnie!

Your Ask is the most pleasant surprise this last weekend but old is gold! <3 I have no excuse for the delay other than I was cramming up all my brain power to finish Part 1 of Until Dawn. (Do check it out when you have the time!) Thank you so much for the honor! I got you fam, so please find below some seriously steamy headcanons (Content Warning: Mature Readers only!) omg i am blushing hard while I’m writing this haha

Let’s go for ReiKasa in Canonverse then the modern AU ;)

As You Are

** Contains reimagining of scenes yet to be written/published in As You Are. So some fic spoilers ahead!

In Ch.12, it was heavily implied that after consummating their marriage, Reiner & Mikasa actually got to another round of ‘lovemaking’ in the shower. When their first time had been gentle, slow and tender, the shower sex was quite the opposite. It was harder and urgent.

At this point, Reiner discovered four new things about his new wife: i) Mikasa actually loves it when he pressed her hard against the wall and took her from behind, ii) Mikasa’s weakness is her breasts *points to point i*, iii) Mikasa has a muscle kink. She came on his third deep thrust in the shower, biting hard on his forearm as she did, and iv) Mikasa’s favorite position would be standing up because of *points to point iii* She loves seeing the way his muscles protruded when they flexed to support her weight. That explains the impromptu war room sexing afterwards.

Meanwhile Mikasa discovered three new things about her new husband: i) Reiner has not even a single scar on his body due to his shifter powers when she has numerous marks on hers from long-term ODM usage & that one time when she got her ribs broken by a Titan, ii) Reiner loves the tattoo on her back and the scars on her body, and iii) Reiner’s weak spot is his nape. The moment she bites his nape, he just gets hard.

Both Mikasa & Reiner are biters. But Reiner is the ‘territorial’ one. By the next morning, Mikasa’s skin looked like she had a really severe rash on her neck and her chest. No wonder Gabi was worried. Mikasa had to wear high collared blouses for one week, even inside their shared home.

Mikasa is the first one to initiate oral sex. She is after all, a seasoned blade wielder ;D

In future chapters, the first time Reiner went down on his wife was because of yeap, jealousy & yes, his ‘territorial instinct’. Lets just say it will have something to do with Porco ‘Pussy-eater’ Galliard ;) Galliard will be making a move on his dear wife at a function and Reiner is not happy about it.

Reiner loves seeing Mikasa in a formal kimono and getting her out of it - layer by layer.

Reiner & Mikasa have a very balanced power play in the bedroom. When he’s the dominant one, she’ll be the one yielding and vice versa. This couple is bound to have angry/jealous sex somewhere down the road and things can get very ugly when it happens. But, that only happens when the balance is thrown off the scale.

Reiner actually has amazing hands made for awesome massages. In a future chapter, we’d learn that things get hot and heavy inside their private onsen at the Azumabito Residence and it all begins with a simple back rub. *winks*

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It’s Gotta Be You

10 Date Rule (thank you @shingeki-no-scenarios for some of this amazing ideas!)

Right before their first official date, Reiner suggested the 10 Date Rule to Mikasa, which she agreed to, as he wants to prove to her that he’s not like the other men she’s dated before, who expected sex on the first date. There was only one rule: the only physical display of affections allowed are only a chaste kiss & hand-holding. Just that.

The first 3 dates had been outside so it was very sweet and very innocent. Reiner would always end their date at her front door with a simple kiss on her forehead or her cheeks. They had a night in on the 5th date and that was when things got interesting.

5th Date - Reiner made dinner at her house and they spend the rest of the evening just cuddling on the sofa, watching a rom-com movie together. Just having his arms around her was actually enough to turn her on but Reiner was very persistent in keeping their date chaste. Mikasa just had to leave a pair of sexy lace teddy lingerie hanging at the back of her bathroom door. Reiner can’t stop himself from imagining her in that.

6th & 7th Date - Reiner had to borrow one of Bertolt’s old hoodies from college with some questionable stains on it to help him be less attractive on their consecutive home dates. Mikasa just had to be a tease by spending the rest of the evening in a pair of tiny midriff shirt and a pair of lace boxers, devouring her Green Tea Häagen-Dazs and licking the spoon clean with a loud slurp or sipping on the straw for her smoothie too fucking slow. There had been a lot of tongue action coming from her that two nights. Reiner had to imagine a naked Zeke to kill whatever potential boner he could have had. It was torture.

8th Date - They had candlelight dinner and slow danced. The grinding wasn’t helping. Oh, and that off-shoulder red dress she was wearing on purpose, he was so close to ripping it off her that night.

9th Date - Zeke came over for a visit & ended up drunk-crashing at Mikasa’s place. Reiner had to stay over to help just in case & just the mere thought of Zeke just killed whatever romantic mood they were in. Felt like they were babysitting a grown-ass baby brother.

10th Date - Reiner had bought champagne to celebrate their tenth date at his place & he actually spruced up his bedroom with rose petals and those fancy scented candles to set up the mood for their long-awaited sexy time. However, Mikasa had to sit in an emergency surgery that night and ended up sleeping in the Medical Centre’s staff room in exhaustion and totally missed their scheduled 10th date. They made up with a lunch date the next day and they definitely went to town that night at his house. They never even made it to the bedroom ;)

People just assumed that they have a frequent & super active sex life. It’s quite the opposite as they enjoy more domestic activities together like baking and home improvements. But they still maintain a weekly date night even after being engaged to each other. Reiner’s a super cuddler so he’ll be the one who initiates the little intimate gestures in public. But behind closed doors, Mikasa would be the more handsy one, which Reiner really loves.

Reiner is built like a Greek God and Mikasa made sure to ‘accidentally’ walked into the bathroom whenever he’s in the shower ;) While Reiner always made sure he’ll be in the living room when Mikasa practices her yoga routine. Just so he can plan ahead on which position he can get her in the next time they’re in the mood ;D omg that sounds more pervy than I intended

Mikasa loves to wear one of Reiner’s shirts when they’re at home together because she knows it will drive him crazy with need.

Reiner occasionally wears reading glasses at home and Mikasa gets weak in the knees when he does. She almost always like to get down and dirty while he’s wearing the glasses :)

They spent their first Christmas together with the Jeagers and Zeke almost walked in on them having a quickie in their dad’s basement.

Reiner & Mikasa would be those couples that still have a burning fire in their relationship even as they grew older. That’s also how baby Ryder was conceived unexpectedly when the twins, Rémy & Miraé just turned 10. They thought they were done having babies 8D

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I had super fun time working on this headcanon, Nonnie! I hope you like it 💖 Keep ‘em coming if you’d like to read more & please don’t be discouraged from sending in Asks because sometimes it’ll take a long time for me to write because of my other writing projects/RL commitments but I would always follow through :3

Thank you & take care!

xoxo

[reactingwithexo]

Bonnie & Clyde (8) - Baekhyun

Part 1/ 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7

Summary: “Bonnie & Clyde. One night”

genre: mafia/gang au!, angst, fluff sometimes, smut

warnings: filthy smut(again), +18 , handcuffs, sligjt exhibitionism, orgasm denial i guess, a little bit of dominance, dirty talk, curses,etc.

word-count: 2.8K

A/N: Guys it is backkk, I swear next part will have more plot and won’t be another full smut but yeah... it’s not like you guys don’t like it anyways. Thank you so much for everyone who has shown support for this fic since the last part was posted, i’m truly grateful.

The rest of the trip went by very smoothly, you’d stop somewhere to sleep and grab food, then drive right when the sun was up the next night.

The mood was oddly good for two people who were running away from criminals and the police at the same time.

You still didn’t know exactly where you two were heading but the feeling that it was a trap was out of your chest by now, “why so quiet?” he asked you.

“I hm” you paused and decided to take the chance “don’t you think it’s time you tell me where exactly we are going? as in actually tell me”

“Okay...” he bit his lips to think how he would choose his next words “I guess it’s safer now that we’re close to the destination, don’t freak out ok?”

“I won’t freak out if there’s no reason t-”

“My grandma’s” he blurted out midway.

You frowned, you didn’t even know he had family “your grandma? b-but why?”

“I need to get something there” he turned to you and smiled “also i miss her, she’s a great cook”

You laughed at his remark “does she know about your....hm job?”

“Not really...but she’s really smart so I don’t doubt that she has found out someway”

“Aren’t you scared of that?”

He shook his head “She wouldn’t do anything to harm me, even if she found out I killed someone, she has always protected me for as long as she could”

“Hmm, I see you’re very affectionate of her” you examined his face as he concentrated “and not just for the food” you added.

“Yea” he smiled “I admire her a lot, she’s really taken care of me” he nodded his head.

Noticing a hint of sadness in him you combed his hair with your fingers “everything alright?”

“I just miss her that’s all, don’t worry” he took the hand you had on his hair and kissed it gently. You jokingly took his hand too and kissed it multiple times until it tickled.

“Ah ah, I’m driving you lunatic” he exclaimed while he laughed “let’s not cause an accident”

“What can I do?” you shifted closer to him “I can’t resist you” you whispered while bitting his earlobe jokingly. His hand went immediately to the place you had touched “ah seriously y/n..we won’t get there as quickly if you keep doing these things”

“Awww is someone sensitive?” you pouted at him as you saw his frustration build up “Can’t THE Byun Baekhyun take a little bit of teasing?”

He shook his head “y/n...stop”

“You’re not getting mad are you baek?” you asked with a cuter voice just to annoy him further on. You saw him grip the steering wheel tighter “I’m fine”

“Are you really?” you caressed his arm while asking to check how he’d react.

“Don’t test me baby” he mumbled but made sure you listened to it. “You don’t want me to take you here in this car again do you? There aren’t many empty streets around here, someone would see us, you don’t want that do you?”

“What if I do?”

He smirked at your answer and you could have sworn he slowed down the car for a little bit. “Don’t lie baby, you’re a good one, you wouldn’t”

“You’d be surprised” you furthered him on so he wouldn’t have the last word.

“Well in that case” he stopped the car in the next avaiable spot he found and turned to you. “Show me what you wanna do”

“What?” you looked at him in shock, the place you two were parked was full of people passing near you and you could see a gas station not that far. “Are you crazy? No way” 

He smirked at you “Where’s that confidence from moments ago?”

His expression only made you wanna punch his face and you rolled your eyes “seriously? how childish are you? just start the car again”

“Have I told you-” he gets closer to you “how cute you look when you’re angry?”

“Thanks, now let’s go, we have a schedule right? your grandma and all”

“You’re right let’s go” he started the car again “but I think we’re gonna have to make one more stop”

“Ah what is it now?” you asked still annoyed

“I need to take that pout out of your pretty face” he answered with his eyes focused on the road.

“Wh-what?” you weren’t able to hide the effect his words had on you, but you were still mad, how could he be so annoying but still so sexy to you? honestly you blamed your crazy hormones and his looks.

He asked to take your hand and kissed it gently as he has done earlier only this time he guided your hand to his crotch “Don’t think everything you say doesn’t have a consequence y/n”

You let out a tiny gasp and you swear to god you considered going down on him that exact second.“You’re so sensitive though” you tried to show you weren’t caring as much as you did. 

“It’s you” he mumbled and you two looked at each other for a second, you saw the glint of desire in his eyes and wanted him to just get to where he wanted to take you already so you could focus on him fully

He released your hand and you brought your fingers to your mouth so you could tease him further, needless to say it worked and he watched with a very pleased expression as you sucked two fingers while your eyes fixated on his.

Thankfully he didn’t get too caught up to forget he was driving and let out a laugh after smiling “you want to kill us both in all ways possible”

You let out a giggle as he turned to check you two somewhere you could stay the night or somewhere with a bed anyways. Apparently the destination really was pushed one more day ahead.

Can’t say you’re feeling too guilty, it was so nice and easy to be with him like this, without all this heavy background surrounding his history or your brother or the way you two met and crimes and running away from the police. It was just you and him, feeling crazy about one another in the midst of lust and giggles.

And that was an accurate description of how you two looked like right now stumbling upon the room, someone could say you were a drunk couple but truth was the only thing you two were getting drunk of were each other kisses and caresses.

“Now you” he kissed you with his hands holding your face and his body guiding you closer to the bed in every word he spoke “need to learn a lesson”

You both fell onto the bed and Baekhyun broke the kiss, he shushed you with his finger before you whined and said “I wanna try something, you tell me if you don’t like it ok princess?” you nodded in agreement and melted over his touch.

He detached his body from yours and reached for the bag he had been carrying the past few days since your “getaway”

You could tell he wanted to laugh but tried to keep the atmosphere also to check your reaction, he slowly took out a pair of handcuffs from the bag and played with it with his fingers before turning to you. “So what do you think?”

“Hmmm my instincts should say no but suprisingly all I am feeling is a big yes”

He smiled at your answer “glad to hear that, but not so fast, you can’t get what you want that easily just because now you’ve decided to be the good girl you are, what kind of lesson would that be? Afterall we have all night now that you’ve made me delay our first stop right?”

You pouted “you don’t have to be cruel though baek, I was just trying to distract you”

“That’s all you do, distract me” he got closer to you, handcuffs placed on the bedside table for now.

“With your perfect skin” he kissed all over your collarbones and unbuttoned your shirt “delicious smell” he inhaled near your neck as your shirt was gone and he moved his touches to your pants “soft lips” he pecked your lips and procceded to take off your pants, now leaving you a breathless mess in just your underwear.

You whined “not fair, you’re still all dressed”

“Go ahead and take my shirt off for me” he said and you eagerly went for it “that will be the last thing you’ll be able to touch for a while” 

He kissed your eagerly after you’ve taken his shirt off and it seemed like you two were trying to get as physically close to the other as possible. You enlaced fingers and he laid you down again, the nature of the gesture opposing his previous behavior.

Reaching for the handcuffs, he looked at you once again to make sure you were comfortable with the whole thing, when he got your reasurement, he rushed to cuff your wrists to the bed, making you on full display for him. 

Seeing him this excited about it made you even more turned on and you couldn’t stop thinking about all the things he’d do to you like this.

He stopped to admire you “fuck y/n, you look just beyond perfect right now”, he took off his pants and you saw how turned on he seemed through his underwear.

Noticing you were eyeing his hard on, he opted not to take off his shorts and instead he touched his dick above the fabric, releasing a moan and throwing his head back.

Your first reaction was to let out a little whine as your hips moved on their own in baekhyun’s direction. 

He seemed to enjoy your reaction even more than the pleasure he was giving himself “I might get addicted to your whines if you keep doing that princess”

“Please touch me” you pleaded and he smirked, he then didn’t seem to take much as well and took off his underwear, now touching himself directly, the moans only got louder and your mouth salivated, your eyes no knowing which part of the scene in front of you to focus on, your breaths only got heavier along with his, specially when you heard him mumble your name from time to time.

“I could keep coming all night like this while you watched, do you want that baby?”

You shook your head and whined a no “i want you inside me”

He ceased his hand movements and climbed back to you, his hands focused on undoing your bra at first, and his mouth attacking your nipples while his fingers caressed your breasts. That was already enough for you to release pleasured moans and you felt yourself ready for him. “Baek, please touch me more” you managed to get it out with the little breath you had.

Not figthing you this time, he cupped your pussy with hiis right hand and delighted himself in your reaction, with your legs opening more and your hips thrusting the air, he then placed his thumb on your clit and strarted making circle movements with it.

That was more than enough to make you even wetter and you were just dying to feel something inside you. Almost as if he sensed you’d request for that, he said “be patient baby, you’re doing so well, don’t want to spoil it by being to greedy hm?”

You nodded in distress and saw his little smirk as he got rid of your panties and slid one finger from your clit to your entrance, “you’re so wet fuck, makes me wanna skip to just feeling you around me”

“Yes please” you moaned eagerly at his idea but he just shook his head “nah ah, there we go again with this rush”, he entered his finger in you and didn’t take long to enter a second one “you’re so slippery, think you can take a third one?” he asked before entering a third finger and by this time your moans were almost turning into screams of pleasure.

He alternated between slowing down and then getting really fast with his movements, which made you incredibly frustrated, he was making sure you wouldn’t come right now regardless of how much you wanted it to.

“Don’t come yet” he warned before he took out his fingers, licked each of them clean and went straight to envelop you with his mouth, he held your hips down slightly so you wouldn’t thrust on his mouth as much and so you would have less chance of coming. “You taste so good, I could spend all day doing this”

You felt yourself shaking as much as you tried to held your orgasm, you could feel it approaching with all this stimulation.

Noticing that, Baekhyung distanced his mouth from you and stared at your fucked out state, this time you got to check his dick again and it seemed as if he was as desperate as you were “what should I do with you now?” he mumbled and took his dick on his hand again “ah you just don’t learn, instead of paying attention to the lesson I am trying to teach, you’re just lusting over dick”

“That’s because I really really really want it” you made sure to answer, thrusting your hips in the air in every ‘really’ you said.

“Ok” he nodded and continued “I’ll fuck you if you tell me what you’ve learned babygirl” he was eye to eye to you “hmm i shouldn’t distract you so much?”

“Yes good, what else?”

“I shouln’t doubt you..”

“And... what got us here?”

You thought hard until you remembered what exactly got you two there.

“I shouldn’t promise things I can’t keep?”

“Really good, seems you payed attention to some things at least, things will be way easier to you if you just don’t insist on challenging me baby”

You wanted to get that stupid smirk out of his face so bad but you were so turned on your brain was clouded with other thoughts, he then whispered in your ear “now I’m gonna fuck that little pussy, is that what you wanted?” he teased with his dick on your entrance “fuck yes”, you almost screamed back at him from so much built up frustration.

You saw him discretly put on a condom and proceeding to tease you again.

It seemed as if you were both almost there when he entered you fully, you felt youself involuntarily clenching around his dick and he released grunts from trying to fight the sensation and move.

Eventually he did start moving faster and you felt your bodies hit the bed harder as he increased his pace inside you. 

From both your moans the only thing that was heard were a mixture of incomprehensive words, each other’s names and curses.

As you were both getting closer to your highs, he managed to uncuff your wrists just so he could enlace your fingers with his as he did earlier, you were in the verge of coming when he urged you on by giving deep kisses to your neck, the last thing you heard before coming was him saying “look at me when you come”.

And you did. Seeing his lustful gaze so close and intense to you was what missed to make you come undone with his name on your lips.

Feeling you so tight around him and watching you come so beautifully to him was what he need to reach his high with grunts mixed with the sound of your name.

He laid next to you as you two breathed heavily, he turned to your side and asked “ is everytime we have sex gonna be like this?”

You frowned and asked him “like what? like you really do love me?” you mentioned as previous words he has said to you

“Not just that” he smiled “but like the best sex of my life”

“Well, it better be” you answered confidently which only made him laugh and suddenly attack you with sweet kisses everywhere he could reach “you’re such a brat” he mumbled while he held you closer.

You giggled at his affection and a feeling of happiness filled your chest, you never thought living a bonnie & clydish life, running away from both the police and the criminals could feel so peaceful and loveable.

A/N: Hope this is good enough for your expectations! Any feedback is welcome and I’m sorry it’s not really revised but it’s almost 2AM so bare with me.

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

I don’t care

summarry: a reddie x daughter where the losers are over and the daughter comes home from school with a minor injury and they later found out she was bullied. so they give her tips and maybe even fighting lessons lol

A/N: this was requested by anon I hope you enjoy! 

warnings: homophobia as reason for the bullying

Water sloshes over the sides as Richie dives headfirst into the pool. It drenches Stan’s trousers, who shoots a murderous look towards Richie resurfacing with a deep breath.

‘Refreshing’, he comments, shaking a full body shiver at the change of temperature. Chloe watches from afar, disposing her bookbag on the grass with a loud clutter. Weekend arrives and she’s eager to start the plans scheduled. On Friday a pool party, on Saturday a trip on uncle Ben’s boat, and for the last day they’re going to see Richie perform live on stage.

All the losers promised they’d make it, and they did, it’s been a while since the group has reunited, work and personal issue getting in the way, but none of that matters. Sometimes Chloe thinks there’s no way they won’t get mad at one another when someone cancels yet again, but then the rejoins puts her at ease. They care for each other more than enough to stop a small, unimportant thing from ruining it. Most scattered around the pool, like uncle Stan and Chloe’s pops in the water, but her dad and uncle Bill stood a far end away from water range, a smart decision Stan begrudgingly had to admit.

'The prodicale child has returned, Richie enthusiastically announced, waving his arms back and forth. ‘Mini me is back.’

The losers greet her, warm smiles and gentle hands pulling her in a hug. Bill’s positively buzzed, the butt of many jokes at his expense of how much of a lightweight the man really is. The first try to capture Chloe in an embrace goes haywire, and if it wasn’t for Mike supporting his weight, he would have fallen face first.

It sends the rest of the groups in hysterics, not including Bill, blushing red tainted cheeks. ‘Already uncle Bill?’ Chloe goads, covering the underside of the drink in his hand in case he loosens his grip.

Waving of the concerns, Bill wobbles, aided by Mike, back to the sun chair to rest. Eddie motions a soda her way, wordlessly asking if she wants one.

‘Yeah, but I’m going to go change first.’

Her shirt is too tight for the humidity hanging in the air, and she longs for a swim, so she needs swimming attire in order to do that anyway.  

----

‘Oh absolutely not’, Bev declares stiffly, her mouth set in a straight line and hands on her hips. ‘There’s no way any niece of mine is wearing that.’

Richie cackles, his head thrown back in amusement over Beverly’s reaction, following her gaze to his daughter, wearing a Hawaiian long-sleeved shirt over her bathing suit.

Chloe follows his laughter, doing a pirouette to show off her t-shirt. ‘I think it’s cool.’

‘You’re only saying that because Richie brainwashed you.’

‘I agree with Bev, one Richie fashion disaster is more than I can adequately handle,’ Stan concurred, heaving a sigh at Richie’s childish reaction of sticking out his tongue.

‘It’s not like she’s wearing it to school Beverly, and if my daughter sees me as a fashion icon, than I think we should respect that. Fuck knows she’s the smartest among us.’

A little cough draws his attention, and Stan does nothing to hide his intend.

‘Okay well Stan is up there.’

‘Please kid, I’m begging, don’t become a second Richie. Fight those parts of you that stem from him.’

‘Hey fucking excuse you, she’s my daughter too.’ Eddie heatedly adds, chopping his hand through the air to drive the point home.

‘who’s w-w-who’s d-d-daughter?’ A stutter the predominant tell that Bill is well on his way to being hammered.

‘Shut up Bill, you’re too drunk to participate in this conversation.’

Chloe giggles, knowing that the teasing remarks from her family are just that, teasing. She then finally steps closer towards the pool. The grass beneath her bare feet is strangely relaxing, the sensations of little pricks reminding her of summer days and ice creams.

‘Come her,’ aunt Bev beckons, her hand circling around the small indents of nails in Chloe’s underarm.

Without realization, she hisses in pain, retracting her hand and covering the sore spot with her remaining hand. The playful mood everyone participated in pops like a bubble.

Beverly blinks in shock, surprised by the reaction. The chatting in the pool ends abruptly, the remnants of an engaging conversation ebbing away.

‘Are you okay?’

‘Yeah, just peachy.’ A bird flies overhead, chirping away, an excellent escape out of the conversation Chloe refuses the hold in front of everyone.

‘Uncle Stan, what kind of bird is that?’

Stan eyes her suspiciously, not uttering a word to help her, and Chloe glowers at him. Thanks for nothing.

‘Let me see please’, Eddie asks his cheeks blown out, worry etched across his face. At this point, Chloe is trapped. She can’t deny something is wrong, and she can’t withhold her arm because that would make everyone even more suspicious.

‘Fine,’ she grumbles, bunching the fabric of the long sleeved shirt to reveal indents of fingernails buried in her skin, not sever enough to be of any concern, but bad enough that it is visible.

‘Chloe,’ Eddie perturbs, his fingers hovering above the wounds while he mulls over what to do in his head. ‘What happened?’

In one smooth motions, Richie lifts himself out of the water and strides resolutely their way, blind without his glasses on but still thoughtfully studying the body-langue of both Eddie and Chloe. He stoops down to inspect the wounds himself, than straightens up and tries his best to stare straight in his daughter eyes, missing by half a mile.

‘Someone did that to you?’ The intentions makes it sound like a question, but it’s a statement, and one that is impossible to refute. Nail marks aren’t accidental.

‘Did you get these cleaned?’ Eddie frets, his left hand coercing her to move to the kitchen, where they keep an emergency kid. Richie has had one to many mishaps in there.

It’s a sure sign that Eddie is freaking out and building up to an anxiety attack, worrying and fretting over someone to release part of the stress before it bubbles over.

‘Dad’, Chloe mumbles miserably, planting her feet in the ground to resist any prodding. ‘It’s not that bad.’

‘Who did this angle cake?’

‘Just someone from school alright. It’s not a big deal.’

‘Honey, It is. No one is allowed to hurt you in any way,’ Bev argues, her chin jutting out, only calmed by Ben’s presence.  

‘Is there anything we can do? T-t-talk to whoever did this? A teacher? Say the word and we’re on it.’ Bill’s positively sobered up thanks to the severity of the topic of conversation, he fumbled over his words only once.

‘Beat him or her up? I’m not afraid if it’s a girl, I’ll hit anyone who tries to put their hands on my baby.’

‘Yes and don’t listen to uncle Ben, he might say something fucking stupid like we’ll talk to whoever did this calmly.’

‘Yes, cause that’s the best option Richie-‘

‘It has nothing to do with me okay? And I doubt she even planned on physically hurting me. I tried to remove myself from the situation, and instead of letting me walk away, she tried to keep me in place by grabbing me. Hence the superficially’, Chloe aimed the word at her dad, ‘scratches.’

‘It obviously has something to do with you. Why else go after you?’ Stan probes. The way he talks and demands thing without having to raise his voice is fascinating, like he can bend anyone to do what he pleases without breaking a sweat.

‘Because’, Chloe pinched the bridge of nose, contemplating her chances of resolving the situation without admitting what it was all about, but between her protective fathers and the solicitous of the losers, she estimated her shots slim to none.

‘Because she believes homosexuality is wrong and that dad and pops are wrong for loving each other.’

Richie grimaces bitterly, slumping his shoulders and sneering at the words sinking in. ‘Like Bowers all over again’, he spits furiously, bailing his hands into fist. Next to him, Eddie is pensively staring at the wounds on Chloe’s hand, shame speed racing through his body for him and Richie being the reason this happened to their daughter.

‘Chlo, I’m so so sorry.’

‘No. Don’t you dare apologies. It doesn’t matter. Not to me anyway. She’s a bitch, and she’s wrong for her opinion, but I can’t make her see your relationship the way I see this. I can’t force her to open her mind and broaden her horizons, then I’ll be equally as bad. I love you guys, and I don’t care you’re gay. If other people do that’s their problem and not mine. I hid the comments as I knew they would hurt you, but we know better than them. I’m going to continue living my life open and excepting of everyone and everything and she will walk around angry and upset at everything in the world she considers unnatural. There’s no outcome in which she wins, except if we let her words bother us.’

With a gentle pull, Chloe buries herself under her dads chin, tucked away in safety as her pops caresses her hair and presses a kiss there.

‘I’m so proud of you.’ Eddie confesses, barely understandable with his voice cracking through the lump in his throat. ‘Don’t ever forget how much we love you.’

‘We’ll have to discus some precautions. Like a buddy system or some shit. Or maybe Mike can teach you some strength exercises.’ Richie ponders, thinking ahead on how to avoid a situation ever again occurring. ‘But yeah, we really couldn’t have a better daughter.’

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.28

Lance looked pathetic as he sipped his bag of blood. Coran had taken a small amount in a syringe to inject Lance with pain medication. Whatever had been in it sent Lance loopy. He’d turned into a babbling mess under Keith’s watchful eye, Coran playing along with Lance’s mumblings much to Keith’s annoyance. The man wanted his Mami. Normally Keith was against kidnapping senior citizens, but Lance was really hurting and he couldn’t stay by his side. Coran ushering him out the room once Lance had finally fallen asleep, blood bag still between his teeth as he did.

Walking on the balls of his feet in an attempt to keep his footsteps light, Keith made his way into the kitchen, Allura beaming at him as he entered

“Good news, I take it?”

“There’s nothing good about Lance being sick”

Coran clamped a hand on Keith’s shoulder

“Never you mind, boy. He’ll be fit as a fiddle once these symptoms subside”

“I’m sick of this. He’s sick. He’s like sick sick. What’s happening now?”

“Well, lets take a seat then have a little talk about it. Allura, tea if you will”

The two of them seemed comfortable in Lance’s home. It irked Keith that Allura knew where everything was, she using matching cups and saucers like Lance would have. Taking Lance’s usual seat, because fuck Coran and Allura, Keith was no in the mood for the tea placed before him

“It’s chamomile”

Like that meant something to him. Tea was tea. You put a teabag in and that was that

“It’ll help soothe your nerves”

“What nerves?”

Allura giggled at him

“Your nerves over Lance, silly. He’s going to okay”

“He didn’t look very okay”

And he hadn’t wanted to be alone. Keith really should be back in the spare room making sure Lance was resting soundly

“That’s because his body is going through changes”

He got that... and that Lance was a breeder, meaning his body was changing but he didn’t get it at the same time. Coran took over the talk

“Lance’s body is changing to bear children. It’s happening faster than we expected, but he’s perfectly fine”

“He’s not fine. He’s sick and he’s in pain. And you didn’t help by making him smell my blood. He didn’t want to. He’s been trying his hardest, and you made me trick him”

“Ah, yes, well, for his own sake that was unavoidable. He needs to eat, no matter how ill he feels. I’m sure you are a great help to him”

“I didn’t even know what to do. I barely wiped his back before he was apologising”

Keith crossed his arms and glared at the steaming teacup before him. Coran and Allura were both being annoying.

“That’s because he cares for you”

Pulling out the chair, Allura sat to his right. Keith letting his cranky side show

“No, he doesn’t”

“He does. You two have such remarkable compatibility with your quintessence”

“Enough with that! What does it even mean? Lance is a vampire and I’m a hunter. Everything’s gone to shit. First Shiro dumps me here. Then Lance keeps getting sick. Miriam has a fall. Luis admits he reported his own fucking he reported in his own brother. Lance turns into a bat. And now he’s sick again. I’m sick of it. He hasn’t done anything wrong. He tried to save my life and he’s suffering, while you and Coran decide now is the perfect time for a tea party!”

Keith could have punched Allura for still smiling. Why wasn’t she angry?

“I understand it must be hard. But we cannot stop the changes. He’s strong, you know. He was tortured when he was turned, by his sires. He’s kept everyone he’s ever met since at a distance. Allowing himself friendships, let alone having someone living with him, is a large step. You could say he’s waited the last 36 years for a friend that knew him and didn’t judge him for it. He’s got such a sweet soul. The transition would be easier with fresh blood, the life is so much more alive when fresh, but he will never feed from you without permission. He’d never feed from you when offered either. He thinks rather highly of you”

Allura didn’t seem capable of giving straight answers. She looked enough like Coran to also be a fae. They both had the same tapered ears, and aura around them. Not a glowy aura, but a feeling

“If he did, he wouldn’t have tried to hide he was sick”

“Keith, Lance fears burdening you more than he already has. He doesn’t want pity or sympathy. He doesn’t want to draw even closer to you. He fears you leaving, so he’s hardening his heart so it won’t hurt when you do”

“You make it sound like we’ve known each other for years, not weeks”

“Sometimes a day or two is all it takes to decided what a person means to you”

Their first few days together had been shit. So he’d always mean shit to Lance if he followed Allura’s chain of thought

“You are allowed to befriend him, and him you. Romantical feelings can develop quite rapidly when your quintessence is so compatible”

“What now? Who said anything about romance?”

Allura sighed softly

“I misspoke. I simply mean to say that if you wish to pursue a romantic relationship with Lance...”

“I don’t”

“It’s alright to...”

“I don’t have those feelings for Lance. Stop making this into something it isn’t. There’s nothing there. He’s weird and he’s dead. We’re stuck together so whatever we’re feeling is because of that. I wouldn’t date him, even if he was the last man alive”

“I see I’ve upset you. Lance is quite fond of you, to hear you speak like that would certainly upset him”

“Because I call him weird and dead?”

He pretty much did that every day. Lance ragged on him just as much in return

“Yes. He is very sensitive about such topics. Perhaps leaving him in your care was too much”

“Allura, that is enough. Keith, please understand that what we were trying to say is that even through friendship, or something more, we would support the two of you. Matters of the heart are a complicated thing. Lance has lost many people he cares about along the way and remembers them all. He is wise and he is brave. He worked out from early age that to survive he had to hide large pieces of himself away. With you, he can be more open about those things. You are a great presence in his life”

“You make it sound like he has feelings for me”

“Perhaps he does”

Keith shook his head. Their “friendship” was complicated enough as it was. He felt as if Coran and Allura were pressuring him into something with Lance, which was the last thing Lance needed right now. He was sick and vulnerable. Besides, he didn’t have those feelings for Lance. He didn’t know what he felt, but it was nothing like romance. He was still trying to cope with the changes in his body. Once Shiro returned, he was going to request a medical to find out what was going on with his heart. The racing and the weird beats weren’t normal. He’d been in plenty of heart racing situations, but none made his chest physically ache, like it did for no good reason when Lance was around. His moods were as up and down as Lance’s. He felt sure that Lance’s bite had done something to change him physically. It was the only explanation for what was happening with his heart.

“How long’s he going to sleep for?”

“A few hours. He needs the rest. These changes are hard on his body, as well as his mind. If he’s in pain, you can try a combination of ibuprofen and a few drops of blood. Blood will help his body absorbed the painkillers, so make sure you don’t give him straight painkillers, or they’ll be ineffective”

“Wait. You’re leaving me in charge of looking after him? I don’t know how to help him”

“You can’t take away the physical pain, but your presence will help keep him calm”

“He wanted his Mami, not me”

Coran sighed softly

“Poor Miriam. She’s such a kind woman. She’s always been on Lance’s side. Lance wouldn’t have told her about Luis...”

Luis deserved to stand in a nest of fire ants for what he’d done to his brother

“Nope. That reminds me, has he always been like that?”

“Yes and no. Lance’s family all went through quite a lot after Lance was turned”

“He asked me the other day if I could find out whether Rolo and Nyma are still around”

“Fortunately, they are not, as far as I know. For a period I did keep an eye out for signs of them, but the last records are from nearly two decades ago. They’ve either wised up, or they were executed. They were listed as violent offenders, and scheduled for termination, but they’d left my jurisdiction by then”

That was good. The world didn’t need Nyma and Rolo. Though Keith was annoyed he didn’t get to kill the pair of them himself

“I’ll let him know. Maybe Shiro will know something more”

Allura took a sip of her tea, before carefully saying

“Keith, think about it carefully before you decide. There are somethings in life that you can’t unknow. We have no information on if their deaths did indeed occur. Telling Lance that they may still be out there may not be the best thing for him right now”

“He needs some kind of closure”

“Which, without facts, isn’t possible right now. Now, we need to be leaving. I’m afraid our work never seems to be done. We’ll send someone to check in with you once the weekend has passed. I’m sure you two must have plans?”

“Pidge has plans. Lance is going if he isn’t fully recovered”

Allura laughed at him. She laughed, and seeing it was straight after Keith had spoken, the only way to interpret it was that she was laughing at him. The hunter still didn’t understand how she could giggle and laugh like it was nothing. Maybe human lives didn’t matter so much when you spent your time dealing with supernatural creatures

“You sound like a concerned parent. Oh, Keith. I think I quite like you”

“Then why do you keep making fun of me?”

That sobered Allura right up

“I’m terribly sorry. That was not my intent in the slightest. I do think you and Lance quite compliment each other. I am struggling to contain my happiness over him finding an understanding friend, someone who understands him and has such compatible quintessence... I never thought it’d happen for Lance, so I can barely keep from smiling. I do believe you two will become very close”

“Is that a fae thing?”

“A touch of foresight, and a belief. Please reach out if you require anything”

Keith didn’t want to. Not when Allura and Coran were both so damn weird. What happened to people talking simply, without all these added meanings that seemed to go over his head

“I don’t have a phone number... I was going to borrow Lance’s phone and call Coran, but then both of you showed up”

“Here we go my boy. Direct line. Call anytime and you’ll be answered”

Coran drew a business card out of seemingly nowhere. Passing it over, the business card was for the bookshop side of things. Some help that was... Coran didn’t seem the kind of man who’d be above ground all that often

“Thanks... are you sure... that he’s to be okay? All of this feels kind of sudden, and now you’re both suddenly leaving... What do I do if he gets worse? What if he like... snaps?”

“Keep him calm and keep him fed... Monitor that fever and know you’re doing the best you can for him right now”

“That’s it?”

“I’m afraid so. It’s quite disheartening that we cannot do more for poor Lance. We can only guide him through his change. Now, I have one other thing for you. I believe you had no money of your own, so I’ve set this up for your account. It’s activated and ready to go”

Coran pulled another card out of his pocket and passed it over. Keith’s eyes widening at the bank card in his name

“I would say I’m surprised, but I think I’ve hit my limit on surprises. Thanks for this, now I have to convince Lance to let me use his car”

“I’m sure you’ll have no problems. Now, as Allura said, we must be going. No need to stand, we’ll see ourselves out”

Keith felt like he should thank them, they had come to Lance’s aid, but he was also kind of preoccupied with everything Allura and Coran had said. Leaving him sitting at the table, Keith really wanted to call Shiro and fill him in on everything that happened. His brother was such a huge part of his life, but now he was too busy to be there. Besides, Shiro would probably worry over Lance, when there wasn’t anything they could do about the pain of his body changing... and Keith didn’t want to have a conversation where talking about Lance’s bits and pieces was likely to mean talking about what was happening below his belt line. That was icky. Not that Keith hadn’t shared a communal shower before, but thinking about Lance’s dick was sure to only leave him feeling weird around the man. Seeing him shirtless had been weird enough as it was. He probably needed to get back to Lance, so Lance wouldn’t wake up alone and scared. Being a vampire was a lot more complicated than Keith had spent all these years thinking it was.

*

With Lance sleeping, Keith had wound up on his bed playing with his camera. He’d sat, paced, sat, then paced until he grew frustrated, before throwing himself down on his bed and pulling out his camera. Blue had come to inspect what was happening to her human, then run off when Keith went to pat her. Cats were so weird. He thought Blue had warmed up to him, but apparently not. Staring at the photo on the screen, he wished he could have seen the cavern the way Lance had. He’d probably been able to differentiate between the lines of sediment with his weird vampire powers. Lance had seen enough to know there were fish down there, which Keith found weird. He could only hazard a guess that they’d been introduced down there as emergency food reserves, then lived down there undisturbed when the mine was decommissioned. The Third World War had been a major turning point in industrialisation. Technology coming along in leaps and bounds since. The hunter still wasn’t sure that the mine hadn’t made Lance ill, seeing Lance had waded out into what had to be freezing cold water.

Sighing to himself, Keith looked over to Lance. The tea towel across his forehead would need changing by now. The vampire still looked wiped out by fever, and the scent in the room had definitely grown sweeter. Climbing off his bed, Keith’s knees nearly buckled as he tripped over air. Clumsiness coming from nowhere. Taking the tea towel off Lance’s forehead, Keith jumped as Lance’s eyes snapped open, staring right at him

“Lance?”

Reaching out, Lance grabbed him by the wrist, Keith being pulled forcibly forward as Lance rolled away from him. The vampire’s eyes closing again as Keith tried to free his wrist, only to find Lance’s grip too tight. Not physically tight around his wrist, but his hand was firm as if his muscles had seized that way

“Lance? Hey, let me go”

Half kneeling on the bed, Keith continued to try freeing his hand. Lance seemed to have fallen back to sleep, Keith not getting his hand back anytime soon. His heart was doing that racing thing, Keith sighing loudly over now being trapped. He didn’t have a choice.

Against his will, mostly, Keith realised he was going to have to wait until Lance woke up again. Climbing up on the bed, he slipped under the blanket, forced to spoon around Lance’s sleeping form thanks to his hold. Keith wasn’t used to this. He’d bunked with Shiro before, even cuddled up behind his brother like this, especially after the loss of Adam, when Shiro’s PTS got to the point he couldn’t sleep alone. But that was Shiro. His brother. Not a big sick vampire baby, like Lance. Locking his jaw, Keith ignored the way Lance wriggled back against him. His slim body seemed to meld far too well against Keith’s... something he was acutely aware of given how insistent Allura had been that they’d be something more than whatever they were now. Friends hugged friends. Keith could totally see Hunk spooning up with Lance like this, even if Lance seemed more the type to spoon. He’d be a cuddler. Like a big dopey dog or something. With his eyes scrunched, Keith tried to calm his racing heart. There was nothing wrong with this. Friends hugged friends when they were down. There was no need to complicate things by over thinking. Nope. This was fine. Everything was fine... perfectly fine...

[oregon-barbi13]

So Far

We have had a lot going on in our lives. So We went up to Kamiah, Idaho just before Father's Day. We surprised my father in law with the visit. It was nice to see his reaction. :)

Well during our visit we helped friends move, which was no problem really, many hands make for light work. Tuesday we hung out with just dad and mom and we went sight seeing and fishing. Akasha and I didn't end up doing a lot of fishing, we spent our time fighting a drift wood tree.

We headed home on Wednesday. Which wasn't all bad, I got a phone call asking if I'd be interested in a job at a local grocery store, which was awesome. I interviewed Thursday morning. Great! Then we were about 45 minutes from home when we got the second phone call. It was Akasha's Grandma. Seems Grandma's sister and brother, my daughters Great aunt and uncle have COVID-19 and are in the hospital. Grandma might have to go in too. Auntie had to have surgery and she had to be brought back. Grandma hung up the phone.

My daughter told us what had happened and what it meant. It meant no Father's Day, it meant no possibility of good bye. and most important, it meant no closure. Thursday, I interview, I got the job. Thursday we got a call about Grandma going into the hospital. Friday rolls around and still no word. Saturday, my daughter goes to my sister's house. Her cousin is helping keep her mind off the crap that's 100% out of her control. Well, that evening I got a phone call that Auntie had to have a second surgery and she wasn't doing too well.

Sunday, we got the dreaded phone call. Auntie had passed away at 3 am. My daughter was pretty upset, honestly I would've been more worried if she hadn't reacted at all. We went to church and her bonus mom Debby called me. "Hey is there anyway Akasha could come over, I'm sure it would brighten her father's day?" Sure no problem. I know my ex well enough that when he shuts down and he goes inside himself it's dangerous. It's the same for his daughter. They have very explosive anger.

So my daughter stays until Tuesday evening. Wednesday she goes to Girls Camp. I go to work. My husband is left to do the running around. Taking girls to their activities and our Bug to gymnastics etc. Well I asked him to bring the girls to work so I could see them. He was running nearly an hour late. I was worried, but he finally showed up. He came in clearly physically upset. I asked him what's up? He answered with "Can you please take a break?" "Yeah of course, just as soon as my co-worker gets back from her break" "Okay thank you". Now ya'll my husband doesn't normally say thank you for something like a break... unless it's something super bad and super serious. So now I'm on high alert.

Well come to find out my mother in law has been back in here where we live for quite some time. And Wednesday just happened to be convenient enough for her to tell her son that his stepdad has three different cancers along with colon cancer. I'M AT WORK! I cannot deal with this right now. My life is falling apart because of what's going on with my ex in laws. I can't handle this too.

Now, I'm sitting here and I am trying desperately to figure out why and how families can be so heartless. My mother in law/that family, has done this to my husband EVERY SINGLE time someone from "THAT" side of the family has died. They tell him, "Hey so and so has only so long left" full well knowing that had they just picked up the phone sooner my husband could've had more time with whoever it was. Instead they leave him with the guilt of not spending enough time. They did it with his grandmother, his grandfather and now his stepdad. It pisses me off to no end.

How can you be so heartless? To tell someone "Hey, so and so is dying" and then not check on him? Not take the time out to see how it is effecting him? Do you think that that kind of news won't effect him? Do you think that he's just as heartless as you? My husband has spent the better part of 20 years in a love/hate relationship with this stepdad. I feel like that is the way it is with every stepparent relationship. It's a love/hate depending on mood or even time of day.

So to tell someone something like that and then just drop them like a hot potato is bullshit in my opinion. Makes me just irritated. To top it off they told my husband, "Don't tell your father or your brother" Don't tell the two people that will give you the support that you need. Don't tell the two people that can help you work through you're emotions. And make sure your wife doesn't tell a single soul either, because she has Facebook.

Yall, the last time I actually hung out on Facebook, ugh, it's been a minute. I have better things to do with my time. Anyway. I'm trying to process.

None the less, because it is me and my husband's relationship and we've been together going on 13 years, I have gotten to know my husband's patterns pretty well. He bottles his emotions up. He bottles em up because ain't nobody gonna help him work through them.

So we ended up fighting pretty bad yesterday (Friday). I always feel bad when he and I fight. I never want to hurt him. He never wants to hurt me. We are both still learning. We're learning effective communication. We're learning how to say certain things and we are also learning to how validate each other's feelings. We grew up in a time that our parents scheduled fights, made sure the kids weren't home so they could make up as loudly as they needed to later.

So we fought. Now, I don't care who it is, every single person who's been in a fight with me knows how physically draining it is. I say some pretty hard to swallow truths. I am not Willy Wonka, I don't sugar coat anything. When you are being stupid I will call you out on it. When I have had enough I will leave or I will simply smile and say, "Are you done yet?"

I don't fight fair either.

To watch my husband be in such pain that he would rather be cruel to me than to open up to me and simply state, "I am no okay, I'm hurt because people seem to think that this kind of thing doesn't effect me and it does very deeply." Men! *insert eyeroll* So, I called his brother, ya know, the one we're not supposed to tell. I called him and asked him to just be there for his little brother right now, because I have a different way of looking at this whole situation than they do and neither one of them likes it.

I am of the mind that hey, you get what you get and don't throw a fit. If you are a shit human being in life and you KNOW you are a shit human being and you don't try to change it, instead you use the slogan, "Eh, I'm too old to change my ways" screams you are a narcissist. That is totally unacceptable. For someone to sit there and tell another human being that they aren't allowed to grieve with someone who understands them is also unacceptable. To try to control someone's life the way they've tried controlling ours.

Look I am all for respecting someone's wishes, but when it comes to cutting someone off from the only support they have, how can you do that to someone? And for what? Because you have a grudge? Dude you're dying drop the bullshit mask and fucking die in peace. Let shit go!

I'm sorry I have rambled on enough. But there ya have it. A look at what's been going on in my life thus far. I just simply wish everyone a day. Have whatever day you think you deserve. I love you all.

[bangtansfavwriter]

🌷jimin having a crush on you🌷

(with a hint of smut & angst, still v fluffy 😌)

- a complete flirt or a complete shy bean, there's no in-between

- introduces you to his friends, his family, the staff, the ahjussi at the convenience store....

-will touch you a lot, so expect koala hugs on any given occasion

-you will stare at his lips a lot, unconsciously, which you'll notice when jimin looks like ar u like this : 👀🤭

-very very caring, the type to sprint across the city to be with you when something's wrong with you

- you guys would talk in person, on the phone, over text... actually a clingy one and he doesn't even hide it

-showers you with affection

- "you're so lovely, lovely, lovelyyy~"

- ur entire support system and personal hype man

- you know that will smith meme with his wife? that's jimin with you basically

- you two are completely emo when he has to leave for tour, but thank god there's skype

-gets emo again when you have to hang up

("good night, good night! parting is such a sweet sorrow." - "jimin, did you... did you just quote shakespeare on me?? minie, we're gonna talk tomorrow, don't be sad!"- "😔😔😔😔😔😔😔" - "nooo minie😭😭😭😭😭" - "noooooo im happy, look ☺️☺️☺️☺️" - "ok good 💞" - "........(😔)"- PARK JIMIN" - "👼🏻")

- stalks all your social media when he's on tour but will never tell you, accidentally like your pic from like 42 weeks ago and screamed so loud hobi fell out of his bed

-you sent him a screenshot of the notification you got with a single "?" and jimin welcomed the sweet release of death (he left you on read and prayed you would forget about it)

-stops by at your place when he's back in the country and gives you a hug so tight it lowkey feels like u guys made out, FLIRTS and you're like "what are we?" and he's "what do you mean? :))) we're friends ofc :))))))" [libras.]

-also, he often invites you to dance practices and is extra flamboyant meanwhile

- "y/n, have you seen the flip? it was good right?" ( boy's got a big fat praise kink tbh)

"you looked so cool, minie ~'

*gets shy, hides his face, jumps through the room*

(& you'd ask yourself if this the same guy who stripped at MAMA)

- his duality is no joke, even in your guys' relationship it would be confusing as hell sometimes, yet exciting because he shows you different sides : childlike and carefree / serious and seductive

- lots of cuddles and giggles together

- goes above and beyond to make you happy and ready to cut a bitch when you're upset

- could charm your pants off, hypothetically speaking, but he's also shyyy mostly bc he's scared you might not like him the same way

-at the dorms he would get into this mood where he would do dramatic monologues about his feelings which would put shakespeare to shame tbh

-they almost always end up with him imagining that you might go for someone else

-one day the boys would encourage him to go for it and he'd muster up the courage and be like "fuck yeah im gonna confess" and then loses courage when yoongi said "do it before someone else does it" and everyone would be screaming bc they just got jimin to shut up about you and were about to end the daily tortured hero vibe jimin had lately by tricking him into confessing (& jimin spent days giving yoongi a look that straight up said "et tu, brute?")

-jimin spent the days after that contemplating if you would actually date him or if you would go for someone else

-he'd be all pouty and would also be touchier than usual, bc he would this physical contact as some sort of reassurance, in a way

-you couldn't quite understand what was going on with him but you reciprocated in every scenario and he was very pleased with that

-when you guys would chill on a sofa and watch tv, he'd lay down and rest his head on your lap and wouldn't say anything and continue watching TV, but he'd still wait for your reaction and sigh happily when you started playing with his hair

-he'd do these little tests to gauge your reactions and to see how you act towards him

-he'd ask a lot about how you feel about relationships and respect and all that, he'd also test you... physically. and by that I mean the sensual hugs, light touches on your thigh and and the looks you'd share meanwhile... the first time you two had dinner with the guys in a restaurant with dim lights. when you felt his hand on your thigh, you looked at him with a raised brow and this lil shit deadass SMIRKED at you but you knew that 2 can play this game and smirked back and moved his hand slightly up and jimin's soul almost left his body. "what are we, y/n?" he whispered to you. "you tell me", you whispered back, with a cunning smile on your lips. you excused yourself and got up from the table and jimin jerked that moment, as you put your hand on his thigh when you lifted yourself up. (jk to nj: i don't know what is going on there but I bet it's disgusting, nj: no, don't be like that, sj: no, he's right)

-jimin and you (and everyone else, for that matter) entered a weird stage where you legit didn't know wtf was happening between you

-everything moved fast and yet you didnt know if you guys were going somewhere with this but jimin sure acted like your boyfriend yet didn't go beyond flirting

-and this was getting tiresome for you, but you were still hoping tbh, but you thought that maybe... maybe you were just a welcome distraction for him in all his hectic schedule. but deep down you knew this was your insecurities speaking, but sometimes it got the better of you.

-and things took an ugly turn when jimin tested you again, but in the most stupid way you could ever "test" someone... you've guessed it..... through jealousy.

- that was bc jimin himself got jealous when you were hanging out with yoongi, mostly bc he also remembered what yoongi once said about someone snatching you away from him

-and jimin absolutely hated this situation.... he knew this was irrational and that you could hang out with whomever you wanted & yoongi's obviously like a brother to him..... but jealousy is a very ugly feeling that makes you feel ugly things

-and jimin didn't want neither yoongi nor you to see this side of him so he didn't say anything. he didn't speak to neither of you. was it a good solution? hell no & he knew that. but he had to deal with his temper somehow... he cut you short whenever you tried to talk to him, saying he's busy and such, but you knew he was lying to you for some reason but you still were patient and did your best not to drag him to hell and back for lying to and ignoring you, as he stopped texting you as well. he didnt speak more than necessary with yoongi who only kept his mouth shut bc they was another matter involved. jimin had the idea for this "last test" for you when a new staff member got flirty with him, during a bighit party. you were there, too, in the same room, to be precise and jimin knew this and saw a chance coming, as you were talking to yoongi again who glared back at jimin who intensely kept staring at you two. so this new + drunk staff member came along and started talking with him.... and giggling so obnoxiously that yoongi and you rolled with your eyes at the same time and started laughing when you realized it. jimin wasn't listening to anything in the first place but when he saw you two laughing, he had a snap decision, turned to the staff member and coyly smiled and started flirting. you watched the whole play & jimin knew it, so he added some light touches and nudges here and there and you could feel getting more upset with every minute of this shit-show you were witnessing. yoongi put his hand on your arm and turned you away from jimin and his bimbo and face him instead. you could feel your blood rush to your head which was also apparent to yoongi who consoled you, as he knew of your feelings. jimin mistook the whole situation once again and went for the worst move.

you saw yoongi's glare and turned around only to see jimin holding his little plaything by the waist and them swaying around together. the other members noticed too and namjoon took the lead and quickly moved jimin away from dispatch's newest headline in the making. you turned to yoongi again and said "i'm going home, yoongi, thank you", with a sad smile on your face, and left before he could answer. yoongi quickly rushed out after you, knowing damn well that you'd go home and cry. he managed to catch up and pulled you into a hug, away from all the noise. "that boy is an idiot, but he's so in love with you, trust me on that. he's just being stupid right now", he said patted your back and lowkey contemplating dissing jimin in agust d 2, when he heard the muffled sniffs coming from you. "Ohhh, yoongi-hyung, y/n, getting cozy, aren't we?" you heard jimin saying behind you. yoongi was about to yell at him, but you were quicker to turn around and BLASTED him, bc how tf does he dare to say something like this after what he just pulled inside and how tf can he be so rude to yoongi and most importantly why tf would you listen to him after blatantly ignored you over the past weeks??? jimin went silent after your rant and let his head sink. "i'm sorry..." he said, "i'm sorry to both of you. i don't know how to explain it... but i felt angry when I saw you two so close. i know it's stupid and I know that you guys can be friends, obviously... it's so irrational and I don't even know why i did that earlier. i guess I wanted you to feel what I feel when I see you close with another man, y/n...". this voice got hoarse the more spoke and you knew that he too was about to cry. you knew he was regretful. it didn't justify that he was a dick to you, but you could see where he was coming from and understood that this feeling can make you do irrational things. "jealousy," yoongi said with a stern voice "is a really ugly trait, jimin. you should have known neither of us would ever go behind your back. for your information, y/n confided in me. your best friend is in love with you and you, dumbass, are too blind to see it. -(jimin's head shot up)- I'm gonna leave you two to it now, but jimin, I assure you I will kick your ass if you hurt y/n one more time." and he left. jimin looked at you apologetically, then hid his face behind his hands and took a deep sigh. "I really am a dumbass, huh..." - "yeah, you are" you replied with slight smile on your face and you took some steps towards him, he looked up at you. "y/n, I might be dumb and selfish, but I really hope that you can forgive me... one day. I was jealous of you two and I got insecure. I shouldn't have done what I've done and I can only apologise.... i'm really sorry about everything." (he let his head sink)

you were now standing right in front of him. "jimin, look at me." (he did.) "you really are a dumbass" (he got pouty) - "I thought we had already established that, y/n" - "getting smart with me, minie?" you asked and laughed when he looked at you with with huge eyes and a beaming face after he heard his pet name. he shook his head "I'm the dumbass, remember ?". You two laughed and you threw your arms around his neck and kissed his cheek while he buried his head in your neck.

"be my dumbass, minie."

💕

epilogue:

yoongi: "so how did you solve it again?"

you: "i called him dumb like 3 times and now we're dating"

yoongi: "nice"

jimin: "..."

[13-reasons-ideas]

Can’t Go Back Part 5

A few hours later, Dr. Marcus came out and let us know the surgery was successful. “Depending on how his body reacts to coming off the anaesthesia, you may be able to go home tonight. I’ll send him home with a prescription for pain medication. He will be in recovery for a while, but you can see him after he is back in his room.”

“That sounds great. Thank you, doctor.”

Scott and I sat and talked while we waited. He had refused to go to school or leave my side while Monty was in surgery or recovery. I sent him home when Monty was out of recovery and we knew everything was okay. Dr. Marcus called me into his room again to discuss things.

“Everything went well and I am confident you will make a full recovery if you stick to our recovery plan.”

“That’s great news. What is the plan exactly?” Monty asked.

“You will need to take it easy for the next little while. It's important to keep your leg elevated, apply ice to your knee and rest as much as possible. I would like you to be on crutches for anywhere from one to two weeks, if you have discomfort after two weeks, continue with crutches on and off for about two more weeks. Or until your discomfort has lessened. Around two to four weeks you can try to begin bearing weight on your leg but do not go too hard too fast. It’s about baby steps. You will also begin physical therapy around this time. Your therapist will recommend multiple times a week in the beginning to try and get as much range of motion back as possible. With continued therapy and care, I see no reason as to why you would be unable to return to playing sports in the time you would like. But that is only if you are careful and not ignoring what you are supposed to be doing.” “So in other words, my life will be PT and maybe walking at some point, for the next four to nine months?”

“Essentially, yes. I recommend ibuprofen or an anti-inflammatory for the pain, in addition to the icing schedule we discussed last night. Additionally, I understand you are newlyweds, but physical intimacy is going to have to take a backseat to healing.”

I squeezed Monty’s hand. I think that is the part he is going to take the most issue with. He looked at the doctor with sad eyes. It’s not like you’ll die of no sex dearest husband.

“I understand that may not be the best news, I was a newlywed once too. But once you have range of motion and can bear weight on your leg, we can discuss clearing you for that as well. I see no reason that it would be a four to six months before clearance item. Plus, do you really want to be the guy who re-tore his ACL having sex?”

Monty smirked. “No. You do not. It sounds cool, but it’s really not. Your friends will laugh at you.”

“Coach Kerba would kill you. Besides, we have the rest of our lives for that.” I added.

“I guess that’s fair.” He grumbled.

After some practice with the crutches, he was cleared to go home. I wasn’t really in the mood to cook anything, so I ordered us pizza when we got home, and Monty was situated on the couch with his leg elevated on a few pillows on the coffee table. I had a feeling he was going to make good on his vow to “annoy me for the rest of my life” in the coming weeks. I went to our room to change into pyjamas and put my wedding set on while we waited for the pizza to arrive.

It arrived shortly after and he made a face at my vegetable pizza, “don’t worry. I got you pepperoni. You don’t have to eat vegetables today.”

“Good.” He smiled and I plopped myself down on the couch. After arguing about what to watch for a while, we settled on a rerun of Law & Order: SVU. This one seemed less intense as some of the other episodes.

“So, everyone knows now.” I said, placing my fork down after finishing a slice of pizza.

“Yeah, they do. I still don’t understand why you eat pizza with a fork by the way.”

“You said you would stop giving me crap about it you jerk. And it’s only certain kinds when they’re hot. This one just happens to be one of them.” I laughed, poking his arm.

“Hey, I’m injured.” He protested; feigning being affronted.

“Your leg is injured. Your arm is fine.”

“Whatever.”

“Does this mean I can wear my set to school now?” I asked, pondering the idea as I twisted my engagement ring around.

“I was going to wear my ring, so I don’t see why you couldn’t wear yours.”

“Okay.” I kissed his cheek and cleared the dishes into the dishwasher. We spent the rest of the evening cuddled on the couch, arguing playfully about what to watch when one show ended.

I woke up the following morning wrapped in Monty’s arms. I don’t think I will ever get tired of this. I watched him sleep, snoring softly for a few minutes before our alarm went off. “hhuummggg.” Monty groaned.

“Babe, it’s time to wake up.”

“Nooo. Sleep.”

“I know but we need to go to school.”

“No.”

I sighed, “fine, I’ll tell you what. I’m going to go brush my teeth and make coffee. By the time I’m back in here, I would like you to at least be sitting up. Preferably, you would have pants on.”

“Mhmm. Yes dear.”

Shaking my head and throwing back the covers, I got up and went about my business. I decided to give him a couple more minutes to get himself up so I got dressed and grabbed a slice of pizza for each of us for lunch. When I got back in our room to check his progress, he was still snuggled up under the covers. “Montgomery. You need to get up.”

He let out a long sigh, “fine. If I have to.”

“You do. I’m not facing the music on my own. Leftover pizza okay for lunch?”

“Yeah that’s fine.” He grumbled, sleepily. I’m not entirely sure he knows what I asked him.

“Do you want an Advil?”

“No, I think I’m good for now. Thanks, though babe.” I watched him sit up and begin to get himself ready. I knew it was going to take him longer than usual, which is why I insisted he get up now. Once he had some coffee and toast in his system, he was a lot more personable. Before we left for school, I made sure to put on my wedding set. It felt odd to wear it in public, but also incredibly satisfying.

I drove us to school early to meet Scott and Justin for some moral support. “He let you drive the Jeep?” Scott asked as soon as I had parked, and we were out of the car.

“Well considering he physically can’t drive right now and the fact that if it gets in an accident, it’s also my problem, yes. He let me drive.”

“Even still. I’m surprised. How’re you feeling, man?”

“Eh, it hurts but it’s not like I can’t manage it.”

“Do you want an Advil?” I asked quickly.

“No Addy. I’m fine. And I can administer my own medication, I am an adult after all.”

“I know. I just don’t know how else to help is all.”

“I know. You make good coffee though. That helps.”

“Right, right. Coffee. That’s why you married her.” Justin laughed.

“Well if you really want to know why I married her….” Monty teased.

“La la la la la. I’m not listening.” Justin exclaimed, covering his ears.

It was still early, but we decided to make our way inside to our lockers anyway. The few people in the halls stopped to watch us with curious eyes. I was nervous to make eye contact with any of them, so I kept my head down. We were almost at my locker when a student got up the nerve to stop us and say something. I think his name was David or something. I recognized him from my ninth grade French class. “Hey. I was at the game and saw that hit. I’m sorry you got hurt.” He said to Monty. He blinked in surprise, none of our group expecting that kind of response. The kid turned his attention to me, and Monty moved in front of me slightly. “Use your wifely influence to make sure he’s on the sidelines at every game. Maybe then he can talk some sense into the team.” He looked down at my left hand, briefly examining my ring. “Good choice. See you guys around.” He nodded and waved as he walked away. The students around us stood silently. We were all stunned. After we broke out of our shock and shared amazed looks, the four of us made our ways to our lockers. Chatter had resumed once again but grew eerily silent as I gathered my books. They’re here.

Justin spoke up when he noticed my friends approaching, “she’s had a long couple of days guys.” Monty sucked in a breath, likely preparing to tell them to fuck off.

“We just want to talk to her.” Clay told Justin. They still hadn’t acknowledged me or Monty.

“I think you said enough the other night Clay.”

“Addison?” Alex prompted.

“Hmm?” I responded.

“Can we talk? Alone?”

“Depends. I’m pretty sure whatever you want to say to me can be said in front of them.”

“We’d really rather not….”

“I’m not sure if you realize this, but I’m injured. I can’t even stand up on my own. It’s not like I can hurt you or anything.”

“Still.”

“Fine. But just know that I’m going to tell him what you say anyway.”

“That’s fine.” Jessica said.

The boys took that as their cue to leave, but not before Monty leaned down to kiss me softly. “I’ll see you at lunch.” He muttered against my lips. I nodded. My friends looked uncomfortable and I heard Scott talking to Monty as they walked away.

“You smug bastard.”

I hadn’t noticed that Justin stayed behind until I felt his hand on my shoulder, causing me to jump. I was too focused on the impending explosions from my friends. Before they began, Tyler came up to our tense little group. Great. “Hey guys. Hey Addison.”

“Hi Tyler.” I greeted. “How are you?”

“I’m alright. How are you doing?”

“I’m alright.” My friends watched our exchange with their breath held. This is so awkward. Will somebody please mention the elephant in the hallway?

“You guys really did it?”

“Got married?” He nodded. Thank you. “Yeah. It’s all legal. New last name and everything. Publicly at least. Still waiting on all of the changes to be processed everywhere. Some places take longer than others.”

“Huh. Explains why he’s been so mellow lately.”

“You haven’t experienced getting him out of bed in the morning. But yes, for the most part he is pretty mellowed out.”

“Interesting. I have to go meet Mack in the dark room. Bye guys.”

“Bye Tyler.” We all said. There was an awkward pause.

“Did… that really just happen?” Clay asked.

“I think so?” Jessica replied.

“Maybe he realizes he doesn’t have a say in who I spend the rest of my life with.” I muttered.

“Well he’s not exactly your best friend in the world Addy.” Alex said. I shrugged and saw Zach coming towards us. Hopefully he takes this okay.

“You got freaking married and didn’t tell anyone?” He asked, immediately after arriving at my locker.

“She told me.” Justin offered. I shot him a glare. Thanks for the help dipwad.

“Yeah.” I said, lamely. It’s not like I could deny it at this point.

“Why? I mean, he’s Monty.”

“Thanks Zach. I hadn’t noticed the identity of my husband.” I replied.

“That’s not what I meant. I mean, you married Monty Addison.”

“And your point is, what exactly?”

“He’s nothing like you.” Clay said.

“Which brings me back to, your point is…?”

“He isn’t the relationship and marriage type.”

“Well, evidently, he is. I have the diamond and the paperwork to prove it,” showing them my ring to prove my point. I was slowly growing tired of their loosely veiled distaste for my choice.

“He’s an asshole to like everyone. He doesn’t like any- did he pick that?” Jess stated.

“Yeah, he did. I was there. He saw it and knew it was the one.” Justin replied.

“It’s so… nice. And big.”

“Thank you? And it’s not that big. Its only point seven five carats. He said she said something about the setting making it look bigger than it actually is.”

“Wow. I didn’t have him pegged as a guy who knew diamonds.”

“I don’t think he did. But he knows how to pick ‘em.”

“I’ll say. Anyway, as I was saying. He’s an ass. To everybody. All the time.”

“Not to me.”

“Well you’re apparently married to him.” Clay grumbled, haughtily.

“Even before we got together, he wasn’t an ass to me. We weren’t friends by any means, but he wasn’t really that much of an ass.”

“Lucky you.”

“Clay, lay-” Justin started.

“Okay. If you’re just going to be a dick about this, then we don’t need to have this conversation Clay.” My friends blinked at me in shock. Clay looked at me harshly for a second before coming to his senses and looking at me like a dog with his tail between his legs.

“I’m sorry Addison. This is just kind of a big shock. You got married and didn’t tell any of us. Yes Justin, we know you knew.”

“I told you not to be an ass to her about this the other night. I told you she wouldn’t take any of your crap.”

“How did this all happen?”

“It’s a long story.”

“When did this all happen?”

“One of Bryce’s parties in tenth grade….” I trailed off.

“You’ve been together for almost two years and never said anything to us?

“Yes?”

“Don’t ever let us tell you you cant keep a secret again.” Zach said.

“I still don’t understand why Addison?” Alex asked, trying to be civil but I could hear the undercurrent of anger in his tone.

“I can’t really explain why I chose him Alex. Sometimes there is no explanation. I didn’t start dating him at sixteen like ‘I’m going to marry this guy.’ It was just fun in the beginning. The forbidden-ness of it all was thrilling. And then the longer it went on, I started to think that maybe this was right for me. For us.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I mean, I wanted to. Until we told Justin I had every intention of telling you. But then I was hit with a reality check. Realistically, Justin only took it as well as he did because I’m his best friend. I knew you guys would be mad and freak out, just like you are now. Don’t even try to deny it. You would have.”

“Even still. We would have been mad, but we would have come around Addy.” Clay said.

“Really? It took like eight years for you to like Justin and he literally had to live with you for that to happen. You expect me to believe that you would have been okay with me dating Monty?”

“Maybe…?” He squeaked.

“Exactly. So it was just easier not telling you guys. Or anyone aside from our parents and select people.”

“You told his parents?”

“Yup.” I said, checking my watch. “But that is a story for another day, I’m afraid. I have to get to class.”

“It better be a story for another day. I want to hear how that went.” Alex said, excited by the prospect of that story. That wasn’t the exciting one yet, bud.

“So does this mean things are okay for now?” My friends nodded.

“Yeah. I take it you’re sitting with him at lunch?”

“Yeah.”

“We will see you around Mrs. de la Cruz.” Zach smirked. I rolled my eyes at him.

“Not my mother-in-law. Addy is fine.” With that, Justin and I walked away. It wasn’t the best conversation and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, but it was better than I think any of us were anticipating.

People stared at me in class and I heard a couple of comments that weren’t worth repeating about various aspects of our relationship, but it could have been a much worse few hours. When I arrived in the cafeteria and made my way over to where Monty and the rest of the team had congregated, I could tell something was up. Monty was sitting, his leg elevated on the seat across from him, wearing a very displeased look on his face. The group looked up at me and back to him.

“What?” I asked.

“I think he grabbed your lunch by mistake.” Charlie chuckled.

“What are you talking about?” I asked again as I sat down and pulled out what I thought was my lunch. When I opened it and saw a slice of pepperoni, I understood what the problem was. “Oh, I see. I’ll trade you if I can have your fruit snacks.”

“You don’t like fruit snacks. And technically they’re our fruit snacks.”

“Exactly why I said your fruit snacks. You hide them in the cart and think I don’t notice until I make lunch. Here.” I said as we traded lunches. I smiled as a pulled out my leftovers.

“What is that?” Garrison asked, staring at the slice.

“Vegetable pizza.”

“And he looked like you tried to feed him wet dog food because, why exactly?”

I turned to Monty, “would you like to explain why you don’t like it? Or shall I?”

“No. It’s fine. I just don’t like it.”

I laughed out loud at his response, “it’s because it has vegetables on it. He doesn’t like vegetables.”

“I like vegetables. Sometimes.”

“It wouldn’t kill you to eat them once in a while, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” He sighed and chucked a fruit snack at me. I turned to his friends.

“I married a nineteen-year-old child.”

“Yes. Yes you did.”

His teammates and I chatted for a while pleasantly until Bryce showed up. They seemed to take a very quick liking to me. “Hey guys. Addison.”

“Walker.” I replied as the kids around table chimed in heys of varying tone.

“So, it really wasn’t Justin. Didn’t think you would let Monty here get within ten feet of you by yourself, let alone be close enough to have-.”

I squeezed Monty’s hand tightly to keep him in check and he winced. Michael opened his mouth to step in, but I beat him to it, “wasn’t your business then. Not your business now. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re only so interested in my sex life because you wish it was you.”

Garrison choked on his water and coughed while the other boys around him watched our interaction with various looks of shock and amusement on their faces. “Interested in sex… with you?”

“You heard me.”

“I’d think long and hard about your next comment Bryce.” Monty told him, darkly.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m your brother.”

“And she’s my wife.”

“Dude what about bros before-.”

Once again, he was cut off, this time by Charlie. “Are you that fucking dumb? Are you trying to get your ass kicked?” Bryce simply looked at him, his head tilted slightly.

“He can’t do anything to me. His leg is screwed. Sorry you got hurt by the way.”

“Awe Scotty. He thought I meant Monty. Isn’t that sweet?”

“The sweetest.” Scott replied, holding his hand to his heart.

“No. I don’t mean him. I meant her.”

Bryce looked at me, sitting sweetly slowly eating my granola bar. “Uh huh. Her. Right.” My gaze turned dark and my brow arched, threateningly.

“Try me. I may be small, but that just makes it easier for me to hit you where it hurts.”

He gulped. “O-okay. Sorry. Comments will be kept to myself.”

Monty turned his attention to me and smiled lovingly. I smiled brightly back at him and watched as he picked up one of Michael’s grapes and chucked it at me. I barely had time to move to catch it in my mouth to avoid being hit in the eye. “Why you little….”

“You love me.”

“I do.” I sighed, dreamily. While I had him caught off guard, I threw his fruit snack back at him. I hit his head and landed in his lap. He turned and looked at me, a look of fake shock and anger on his face.

“And she calls him a child.” Garrison muttered.

“You should see them when they try to decide on a movie or tv show to watch. It’s literally like watching five-year-old kids argue over their favourite toy.” Scott muttered back.

“Or when she tries to get him out of bed in the mornings. She has to literally bribe him sometimes. Calls me other times to physically remove him from the bed.” Charlie added.

“Almost called you this morning actually.” I said.

“I wasn’t that bad. And you were asking a lot of me Addy.”

“Montgomery. I asked you to sit up and put pants on.”

“I had surgery on my leg Addison.”

“And yet, you had no issue putting pants on when we left the hospital darling.”

“That was different.”

“How?”

“It wasn’t the morning then.”

I looked at his friends, a dumbstruck look on my face. “Everyday. The only time he didn’t object to getting up was the one day on our honeymoon I wanted to sleep in.”

“I was promised Curio Coffee waffles. The way you and your parents raved about them, I assumed they were something special. They were by the way.”

“I said nothing about waffles at five in the morning on a Saturday.” Monty grumbled unintelligibly in response as the bell rang.

“Fuck. If I knew lunch with you two was going to be this entertaining, I would have made you tell people a long time ago.” Scott laughed.

“You’ve been keeping a gem from us Monty. You’re welcome to sit and share stories anytime Addy.” Garrison told me.

[polarisavi]

tenderness is in the hands

or, Eliott’s favourite cinema has cheap popcorn, a lot of foreign films, and a blue eyed boy behind the counter. // 3k // ao3

The Lallemant Theatre looks half dilapidated from the street. Old fashioned, with faded vintage posters in dull, scratched up frames outside, and half the light bulbs blown out, throwing odd shadows on the movie titles.  

Eliott is there at least once a week.

The scuffed up wooden floors feel like home. Golden walls littered with more decades old posters, velvet love seats in deep red and purple scattered at odd intervals along the sides of the room, the scents of melted butter and bleach inescapable and constant.

“There you are. I was worried you were dead in a ditch,” says the only other person in the building. Eliott, before he’s had a chance to lift his head to find him, grins on instinct. Lucas’ voice, lilting and teasing, washes away the bad mood this week has left him with.

“Serious bodily harm is the only thing that would keep me from you,” he allows. Lucas just scowls, bristles, and puts aside the magazine in his hands. Eliott keeps smiling. It’s hard to predict exactly how Lucas will react when he says things like that, but whatever response he gets is a treasure.

“You’re almost late, you know.”

Eliott finally reaches the counter, places his hands on it and leans over a bit. Lucas’ hair is defying gravity, his eyes bright under the lighting, and a red plaid scarf that would contrast delightfully with his skin is curled next to the keyboard. Eliott wriggles his eyebrows. “You’d wait for me though, right?” Lucas rolls his eyes, so Eliott wages forward. “What’s on tonight?”

“Some Australian horror.” Lucas runs a hand through his hair, some of his fingernails flashing with chipped colour. “I’m not sure if you’ll like it, to be honest.”

Eliott hums vaguely and pulls out his wallet, finds a creased note between a collection of abandoned loyalty cards and faded concert tickets. The ticket stub he gets in exchange has a thick yellow line down the side, and the hand giving it to him has badly painted nails, each one a different shade of green.

“You’re really bad at that,” he says, nodding to Lucas’ hand. Lucas squints his eyes, raises his chin a little.

“I had to use my left hand.”

“Uh huh. Let’s see your other hand, then.” The other hand in question immediately disappears from view. From the way he shifts, there’s a good chance Lucas is sitting on it.

Eliott grins in triumph. “There’s no shame in being truly terrible at things, Lucas.”

“I suppose you would know a thing or two about it.”

Valiantly, Eliott lets that slide, stuffs the ticket in his pocket. The colour changes every month or so, and soon he’ll have enough of them saved to do - something. A collage, a sculpture, something worthy of this building, of the memories inside its walls. “Why don’t you think I’ll like the movie?”

“I’ve only seen pieces, but it doesn’t seem to have any… sincerity in it. Which I know you don’t have a lot of tolerance for.”

“You remember that?” Not a lot of people actually listen to him when he talks about film, the thread sometimes unspooling too quickly, tangling and looping, and making it hard for anyone to follow easily.

Lucas expression goes warm, kind, and something boarding on sympathetic. “I remember everything you say, Eliott.” There’s an implied obviously in the air and, well, no one would blame him for the way his heart beat rushes, especially when Lucas says his name like that, affectionate, weighty, like it’s valuable, like it matters.

Eliott looks to the side, coughs, brings the lighter out of his pocket just to have something to fiddle with.

“Has anyone else got a ticket for it?”

The way Lucas shakes his head makes his hair dance. “Just you. How much popcorn do you want?”

Eliott shoots the popcorn machine a look, its yellow glow a physical presence in the room. He can almost feel the sheer quantity of butter clogging up his veins from here. Simultaneously they take the couple steps to the side where the confectionery part of the counter technically starts.

“Depends, how hungry are you?” he asks, smirks, when Lucas has the audacity to look surprised Eliott is asking.

“Who says I’m joining you? I have a job to do, you know.”

It’s a good argument, but one that would probably work better if they were in a theatre that had more than roughly fifteen customers a week, most of them not at 9pm on a Wednesday.

“You would rather sit out here doing magazine quizzes and waiting for customers that don’t exist than sit next to me for a few hours and prove just how bad you are with accents?”

“You’re so annoying, and I have nothing to prove to you. “

Eliott softens. “I know you don’t. So how hungry are you?”

Without argument, Lucas shoots the popcorn a longing look. “So fucking hungry. Don’t worry,” he adds, flaps his hand like he can reverse Eliott’s move to take his wallet out again. “it’s included in your ticket price.”

A blatant lie, but Eliott doesn’t call him on it, just shrugs. Lucas nods and starts piling popcorn into the biggest box they have, the cardboard checkered orange and white. Lucas’ maman, the owner, seems to love colour, the theatre drenched in vibrancy, texture, calling out to a city that’s too blind to see it.

When Lucas passes the box over, their fingers overlap, and Eliott sets the food down in favour of getting a closer look at his hands. It’s a good thing Lucas has started painting his nails, he doesn’t have to reach for an excuse. It’s a lot smoother than Lucas’s I think there’s a bug, oh no wait my mistake, I’ve always liked tattoos, why do you have mardi written on your knee? It’d been a warm day, on the cusp of summer, the arms of their singlets plunging low to their waists, both of their legs’ exposed,  and it was a good thing Lucas moved first because Eliott had been trying to find reasons for why Lucas really should stop sitting properly and drape his leg’s across Eliott’s. He’s as shameless as Lucas, really, just hides it better.

And this, this is slightly subtler. He leans down like he’s properly inspecting Lucas’ hands, face serious, touch gentle, and Lucas doesn’t resist, bends easily to make room for Eliott’s whims.

The colour isn’t really that badly done, really, but still.

“You can practice on me, if you want,” Eliott offers. Nicely, in his opinion, but Lucas’ eyebrows furrow.

“I’m really bad at it.”

“…Which is why I offered.”

He presses his lips together. “I don’t mind being bad when it’s my own body, but you have nice hands,” Eliott chokes on nothing, Lucas mouth quirks. “I don’t want to ruin them.”

“You couldn’t ruin anything.”

“Well, some things,” Eliott doesn’t think he imagined the seconds Lucas takes to flick his eyes down Eliott’s body, “but if you insist, I’ll gladly use you to experiment on.”

Eliott doesn’t know when they started having, how they keep having, multiple conversations at once, but it’s a bit too much. His hand automatically moves to tap at his lips, a nervous tic, but, right, they’re still holding - no, not holding, just touching - hands. He can feel the edge of a callous on one of Lucas’ fingers. Drums? Guitar? Wire sculpture? Carpentry? Before he can ask further, Lucas slips his hand away and he jumps the counter.

“Come on, I don’t want to keep you out late.”

Lucas sets off towards the splintered hall that most of the theatres spring off, and Eliott follows him automatically, absently reclaiming the popcorn when Lucas picks up a jacket, presumably his own. “You don’t?”

“Well, not for this,” the tips of his ears go slightly red, but nothing else. One day Eliott will make him blush for real, and it will be a beautiful day. “Isn’t a regular sleep schedule good for you? For stability, I mean.”

“I don’t remember telling you that.”

“That’s because you didn’t. I did some research, after you told me. The Wikipedia article for bipolar disorder is very well written.”

“No WebMD?”

Lucas shakes his head. “Yahoo Answers was very educational, though.”

“Well, primary sources are important.”

Lucas takes a right turn, a direction that can only take them to two cinemas: the Burgandy and the Woolf. The former reasonably large, wide seats, a bronze curtain unveiling the screen, and the width between aisles just that little bit too small for his liking. The latter is smaller, screen half the size, the walls dark blue, ceiling tall, and a collection of deep couches to seat the audience. It is, undeniably, Eliott’s favourite, and the way Lucas is looking, pleased, content, a slight bounce to his walk that usually isn’t there - Eliott has to resist the urge wrap his arms around him and, possibly, never let go. The ecosystem here would support them; they’d never have to leave.

The next time he glances over at Lucas his heart stutters when he finds those blue eyes already trained on him, eager, adoring. The barriers between them erode the deeper they roam into the guts of the building. The architecture is tricky, clever, expands beyond the barriers granted to it by the city, and something similar happens to them. Eliott feels paper thin, transparent, emotions bleeding into the space between them. Lucas reaches across, tugs on his arm, and leads them, unsurprisingly, into the Woolf. And it’s okay that he’s bleeding, that this far deep the physics of the room demands honesty, because it’s Lucas, a fixed point in the universe, who, underneath the snark and pouting and dramatics, has always ever only gathered up all the kindness and joy and tenderness he could find in his hands and offered it to Eliott freely.

Lucas softly nudges Eliott towards a couch in the centre but doesn’t follow him down when Eliott sits, sinks, into the middle of it, wanders away to do whatever is required to start the movie. The lights dim, first, then the screen clicks to life with a kind thank you for choosing Lallemant Theatre for your movie going experience. The room is a universe unto itself, and the last traces of the day slide off of him, every bad thought getting lost in the dark.

Lucas, when he returns, drops down on Eliott’s side, close, confident, and reaches across his body for a handful of popcorn. Eliott had placed it beside him, next to the armrest, without thinking, but clearly it had been a great idea.

Lucas’ neck arches back when he relaxes, stares at the ceiling, chest moving slowly, deeply, his collarbone refracting light. It’s - Eliott shouldn’t stare like this, should try and tame his greedy eyes, because Lucas isn’t his to stare at so blatantly. Not really. Whatever nebulous, shifting, sometimes delicate thing they’ve morphed into over these months, there are some lines still intact, things left unsaid under a gossamer veil of… deniability, caution, something.

Like he’s been summoned by the current of Eliott’s thoughts, Lucas flops his neck, looks at him. “Can I take you up on your offer?”

“Of course,” Eliott answers automatically, without bothering to figure out exactly what he’s referring to. Yes, of course, literally whatever Lucas wants. His responding grin is visible even in the low light, and in the seconds Eliott takes to bask in and appreciate his smile, Lucas straightens up, whips out a small bottle of nail polish from somewhere, its lid silver and the polish colour unknown.

Right. Eliott has his doubts about how well this will go given the changing light levels, courtesy of the pre movie ads, and lack of a solid surface, but Lucas twists to sit sideways, takes Eliott’s hand and places it on one of his thighs, and, really, if Lucas has deemed this environment adequate, who is Eliott to tell him otherwise.

The denim of his jeans is warm, the muscle underneath firm, and Lucas pats his hand, just once, before opening the polish and securing the bottle in the crease of his other leg.

“What colour is it?”

“Dark orange, kinda.”

“I don’t know if it’ll go with my complexion. “

Lucas snorts. “You can take the hit.”

The first brush is on his thumb, and leaves a sizeable streak on the skin beside his nail. An edge of a smile is visible from Eliott’s eye line. The next nail goes about the same way, and Eliott makes the decision to study the room, the ads, the tumble of Lucas’ hair, rather than watch in real time as burnt orange varnish settles into the grooves of his skin.

By the time he finishes painting that hand, the movie has started, and Eliott really should pay attention, but his gaze is stuck. There are stars in Lucas’ eyes, his skin stained rose from light thrown from the screen, veins in his arms; Eliott vibrates with the need to touch, to feel, to trace the shape of his hands, his arms, the sweet curve of his neck.

His hand, the one on Lucas’ thigh, clasps, squeezes, subconsciously, and Lucas finally, finally, meets his gaze properly. His mouth feels sticky, stuffed with fairy floss, and he wants to apologise but the words won’t come out. There are stars in his eyes, an entire ocean, every sublime mystery the universe has to offer.

Characters are talking, their accents grating, and the light burns white.

Lucas’ hand finds his and squeezes.

“Can our next date be somewhere else?”

Eliott’s mind goes blank, tries to force the fairy floss away. “Our next date?”

“Or our first one, either way,” Lucas says, and his smile is cheeky, eyes teasing. Eliott takes a second to readjust to this new reality, this beautiful, divine reality, and lets himself smile too, gentle, and probably slightly awed.

“We’ve been doing this for how long, and this is how you officially ask me out?”

Lucas’ cheeks bunch with how big he’s smiling. “You had something better in mind, Romeo?”

“Maybe I did. Maybe I would’ve convinced your maman to play my favourite romance, and then recreated one of the scenes with you, which would make you swoon and win your heart.”

Lucas’ mouth gapes for a second, incredulous. “That sounded very well planned for something that I only just asked you.”

“That was one of my top five plans.”

“Five?”

“I’ll tell you about them later.” Lucas looks curious, like he wants to ask more, want to keep interrogating every romantic scenario Eliott has ever thought of, eyes flicking across Eliott’s features, and when he bites his lip Eliott’s gaze drops to them, plush, pink, begging to be captured. Normally Eliott would indulge him anything, but there are some better things they could do. “Can I please kiss you now?”

Lucas starts nodding before he’s finished speaking, smiles for a second, and he doesn’t have to lean far because Eliott has already moved forward, curled into his space.

“Please,” Lucas whispers, leans his neck up, and Eliott falls into his gravity. The first tentative brush of their lips feels like the first ever breath of air, vital, stabilising, impossible to live without. His hands go up to cup Lucas’ cheeks, keep him there, keep him close. His veins fizz and heart flutters, bounces, around his chest, but this, the sweet drag of Lucas’ lips, his soft sigh when Eliott tilts his head, kisses his deeper, slower, this is the most certain, the most right, he’s ever felt about anything. The universe was designed to place him here, with this boy, so close he’s almost in his lap. Placed him so he can hear the low noise Lucas makes, the vibrations travelling straight down to his core, when he breaks their kiss.

Lucas, dazed, confused, and smiling, looks back at him. “Why’d you stop?” his voice is a little gravelly.

Eliott strokes the cut of his cheekbones with his thumb. “I just - I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” he murmurs.

“Really?” Lucas asks, with a level of shock that shouldn’t be there, that Eliott will have to rectify every day they’re together. For now, though, he shrugs, raises his eyebrows teasingly.

Lucas makes a dramatic sound, some kind of sigh/groan hybrid, and looks heavenward. “I wasn’t sure if you were like that with everyone, or just me.”

When he looks back down Eliott guides their foreheads together, shakes his head gently so they don’t get displaced. “Only you. Ever since I saw you, it’s only been you.”

[id-on-parade]

A New Day

This will probably be a pretty long post. I’m gonna put the positives at the front, then i’m gonna exorcise some demons from my mind. This exorcism is to remove them from my head, not to put them into someone else’s, so i’ll go ahead and put an end to positives notice, and i guess read on at your own risk.

I am currently waiting on a list of approved Mental Health care providers in my area from my insurance company, I’ve just gotten off the phone with them and they said they would send it to me and I should pick one. After picking one and confirming they are accepting patients I should call the insurance folks back to get approval for a number of appointments. They close at five, so hopefully I’ll get the list soon so i can get this rolling - hopefully i’ll get this sorted today. Its funny that I feel this sense of almost giving up on doing it myself, this outdated cultural stigma at the same time that I feel a strong sense of hope that this will be a turning point in my mental health. I look back and wonder with a decent sense of awe how different my life might have been had I received mental health care as a teen when this all started.

I had a pretty heavy depressive episode yesterday, and am happy to report that today feels more like my standard levels of depression, i’m me again today - the me that most know, not the me that’s falling and can’t seem to catch hold. this information that today is a new day, i’ve survived, and the pit appears to have closed is the end of the positives for this post. here on in will be an unloading of a very stressful and difficult week, read on if you wish, but i gotta get these demons out somewhere, so here they go.

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I guess i should start at the start. I returned this last week from a week of sick leave wherein I had some Covid symptoms, my wife had some Covid symptoms and at the start of that sick week, that was majorly stressful.  I got tested, nasal swab, x-ray, and found to be negative for covid, or pneumonia. my wife’s insurance, however, had her do an online appointment, she answered some questions, the internet told her it was likely viral sinusitis, and wrote her a note to take the week off as well, no seeing a doctor, no actual tests. now, luckily, we both seem to have gotten better over that week - but boy was that frustrating.

When I returned to work, my boss and I had a bit of a disagreement about what a sick note through Saturday meant, he thought i should have come in Saturday, I thought i shouldn't. I even called Saturday and someone over the phone told me i was not scheduled Saturday. at the end of the conversation he had basically made it seem like i was dumb for thinking about it the way i did, that it didn’t matter about the call on Saturday, and that i might get in trouble. then he said “so, for next time, you know - come in on the day that’s listed.” So far, no trouble has come down the pipeline about that, but he’s been much less jovial with me of late.

That’s probably a decent bit of paranoia, we’ve all been less jovial of late, at my work. Providing mental health care to inpatient teens is hard. there’s a lot of secondhand trauma. (more on that later) there’s a lot of firsthand trauma. (more on that later). These kids are quite ill, and they are trying so hard, often put up against a life that’s honestly too difficult for even most adults, my whole heart goes to them. Right now, With the pandemic, and the rioting, they have more stress than ever, and less access to their loved ones, and anyone who knows anything about mental illness, knows what that means for their mental health. And with all of our patients having suddenly much worse mental health it means not only that my coworkers and I are dealing with more unsafe situations, and absorbing more trauma, but on the back-end we’re watching these kids backslide through months of progress, and sometimes that’s so heartbreaking. It’s normal, to backslide, and it doesn’t mean anything negative about the kids, but it doesn’t make it less heartbreaking. so yeah, coworkers are all in their stressed out, panic, survival modes, and its pretty visible right now - which means sometimes we are not as awesome to each other as we could be.

One of my coworkers was especially not awesome, to himself, this week. I really looked up to this  guy. takes heart to be openly flamboyantly queer with these kids, and he was, and he was always honest with them as far as accountability, a real no-sugar-coating type guy. when things got rough, it wasn’t unusual to hear him say “look at your life, look at your choices” to these kids, where other staff might handhold, and walk them through an analysis of what they’d been doing. Well, this week he must have finally snapped from the stress, as about 5 cop cars and a firetruck arrived at the neighboring cottage to retrieve him from the bathroom, where he had sequestered himself to huff aerosol mid shift. He won’t be returning, and he was damn good at this. he’ll be missed, and I hope away from the job he can recover.

Stream of consciousness, this brings us to kids and trauma. To avoid trauma, as the kids also care about that coworker, I ushered the kids I was outside with into the building. well, all but one. This is a fairly new patient, AFAB NB, spent a long time homeless before coming to us, family ain’t about the identity. As the cops rolled up, they were hurling insults, flipping them off, and generally saying things that I had to remind them to watch their language for. not that i reminded them very loud, because honestly, mood. But then they got silent as the cops sent to work, and they got real still. they stopped responding to me, and that was when i decided to walk around in front of them and force eye contact. they were on the verge of tears. I said “They aren’t here for you, you’re safe here, let’s go inside - it isn’t helping you to watch this.” they said It’s just --- the last time I saw the Cops they were hauling away my boyfriend”. - “that is extremely traumatic, if you come inside with me we can work on some coping, and help you to get the thoughts out, will you come inside with me?” -- “I wan’t to, But I just Can’t, I Can’t Make Myself.” - “Can you take my arm and we’ll walk together?” --”NO! I Can’t Have Anyone Touch Me Right Now, PLEASE” - “Absolutely, you’re safe here, how about if we take it slow, and I walk beside you instead?” -- “o-okay” it took us roughly 5 minutes to walk the 20 steps to the door. Once inside, they wept in a ball for some time, before beginning to work on coping skills with me. In processing, they let me know they were having such trouble because the boyfriend they were remembering had been very abusive, and the cops were hauling him off because of the beatings he had heaped upon them. that they hated the cops because they thought they loved him at the time, even though they now know he was not good for them, but knowing that hadn’t made them hate the cops less. And that seeing the cops had put their mind firmly into memories of being abused, and that they were having trouble breaking free of that thought trap. eventually we were able to get them involved in group activities and somewhat distracted, at least.

There’s a kid who reminds me of me as a teen, he’s depressed, and angry. unlike me as a teen he’s also very slow to process, and to avoid falling behind when he fails to process things he either makes cruel jokes, or explodes with anger. His dog is dying. His family barely sees him normally, but with the virus they don’t do much at all. His only contact is family therapy, and when he remembers to call them. he often doesn’t remember to call them until after phone time is over. then he wants to scream and shout and tear everything apart when he doesn’t get to make the call. This story though, is about a day he did remember to call. And his family let him know about the riots, all across the country. He’s trying hard to understand, but he doesn’t. He thinks, his being here, after drug and assault charges, has something to do with whats going on out there. that maybe his case is also unjust. but he also knows he needs this care. but he also sees himself backsliding and feels hopeless about progress, due to the depression. This is when he decides to try to recruit his peers to escape with him. All of his peers, to their credit, stayed the fuck out of it. but it did mean convincing him of the value of treatment, and the potential risk of breaking down a door - while he was trying to break down a door. he’s one of the few that I honestly don’t know, if i’m alone with him and he swings on me, if i could defend myself well enough until support arrived. he didn’t that day. but boy was that A Lot Of Stress.

The kid who has assaulted the most staff and peers, physically, verbally, sexually. started a plan that had him out of Low Stim and with peers in Close Attention this week, because we were receiving a new kid this week, at six foot, straight from juvie, a known fighter, and an off-meds psychopath. and, even though Low Stim has 2 rooms, we’re trying to get sexually assaultive kid out of there so there isn't risk in the dual occupancy. i’ll talk about new kid later, for now lets talk about the more long term patient. this patient has trouble with building relationships, an echo of the abuse he experienced in younger life, frequently he gets sexually explicit, physically assaultive and perhaps fecally oriented while doing so, especially when he is worried about relationships, or feels “too silly”. the trouble being of course, our counseling works best when we build strong relationships with patients, and even regular jokes can push him into the “too silly” category. He did well for the first bit. after about three days the back to back escalations began. a peer told a joke, he laughed too much, the staff pulled all the other kids inside and away from him to protect them. he whipped out his dick, pissed all over the place, tried showing it to staff, then began throwing sidewalk chalk everywhere, windows, doors, the roof, towards other buildings, whatnot. when the support staff arrived and 12 of us asked him to proceed to a quiet room, he did so of his own volition, rather than us taking him, and due to that, my coworker did not lock him there. no sooner had the extra staff gone than he came out banging around.we went hands on and locked him there. at the end of an hour and a half, my coworker deemed he had calmed enough to rejoin his peers. no sooner had he made his way back into the milieu than he began trying to hug and grope various staff.we again hauled him into a quiet room and locked him there. as the shift neared its end, we called security and had them help us get him back to his room in the LSA, not wanting to leave night shift with a kid in a QR. once back there, he tried to show staff his dick, again, and eventually settled into refusing to go to his room, when it was clear staff wouldn’t interact with him anymore for the night and expected him to go to bed, he went in his room, drug his mattress to being half down in the doorway, looked at me and said “is this in my room enough?” before laying down to try to sleep. he was scared, after everything he didnt want to be alone, and would rather not follow directions and potentially be in trouble, than be by himself in his room. I let him stay there. More of the same throughout the following day, and the day after that is when his story intersects with new kids in just about the most traumatic way.

New kid is over six feet, muscular, dead eyed, and arrived wearing a juvie orange jumper which he refuses to change from. developmentally, it is hard to distinguish this mustachioed individual from a fully grown man. in all of his dealings with staff, he was robotically polite. out of staffs sight he could be heard screaming angrilly, wailing in dispair, cursing out people who aren’t there, and then pleading “ oh no, no no no, NO NO NO NO” like you would expect to hear from a prone person while someone with a bloody knife walked towards them. I know because for a lot of the week i sat and listened to this. i listened to him strike himself after the pleading as well. and while I personally was not threatened in any way by his actions, it was still extremely stressful and distressing. Throughout the week, whenever the longer term patient overheard these things, he would should “would you stop, damn” to the new kid, and less polite versions. I tried to remind the long term patient that everyone struggled with different things, and that it would be better to ignore his peer, or at least make politer requests. no such luck. it seemed, throughout the week as though new kid simply did not hear long term patient.he proved that wrong on saturday afternoon, when he marched out of his room and began wailing on long term patient. after long term patient fell, new patient grabbed him by the hair and pulled him into a room, where the beating could be heard to continue. By the time we had enough staff to safely go in, new kid was standing one foot on long term kids throat, looking him in the eyes and repeating “i’m going to kill you” but, dispassionately.

I think thats it for work stress, I covered viral stress earlier. I am stressed by the riots. it makes me profoundly sad that it must come to this, but i also find myself firmly believe it HAD to come to this. that this rioting is righteous, and the only road to social change. I’ve been a punk since I was a teen, and I feel like i should do more for this movement, but honestly all of my energy is being spent keeping me going and treating these kids.

My depression has picked my relationship with bestie to fixate on in these trying times, and I fear I may have damaged that relationship because of it this weekend. bestie has just started a new schedule which is excellent for her. I’m so happy that she is now on a schedule that works for her needs, and will allow a healthy amount of sleep, and time at home, and for her to sleep close to the hours she’d prefer to be sleeping. I had been very lucky in that her last schedule was very close to my own schedule, and so our time at home nearly entirely overlapped. she chose to spend a number of mornings, and late evenings after the rest of the house just hanging out, her and I, and I absolutely love that time. I don’t want to sound entitled to it, at all. it is a gift she gives to me, that I am so happy to receive and which i am so glad she wants to give to me. With the new schedule she will have to leave early enough that the morning hangouts will not be an option, and because of this likely ought to go to bed early enough that the hangouts while the house slumbers aren’t a healthy choice. My depression tried hard to have me believing that this meant those times were just gone. After work saturday, bestie and wifey were listening to an excellent, but extremely despairing/sad audio drama.It was very enjoyable. It was probably not a mentally healthy choice for me to partake in that, and had I requested a different hangouts activity, they might have been a little sad, but probably would have swapped. instead, rather than be an even minor inconvenience I joined because i wanted the hangouts, and had a great time listening to a great story and felt like while the despair was growing in me, in resonance with the story, i’d sleep on it and it’d be alright sunday. I woke up sunday honestly too depressed to get out of bed. just laying in spiral. I asked bestie to join us in bed, when i heard her going to get her phone charger, hoping extra cuddles would help me get through, i don’t know why i couldn’t ask for what I wanted, I had the opportunity and I’m sure it would have been fine, now, in hindsight. I felt like at the time I was so certain something would go wrong. eventually everyone came to the bed and there was a semi-cudllepuddle. people didn't want to fall back asleep, it makes sense not to full cuddle puddle for that. as people set in on their various phone activities I started to get that feeling like i wasn’t part of what was happening (despite being there. I know, I don’t know why, but when the depression gets going it gets harder to fight.) and rather than grab my phone and to the separate activities together thing I just withdrew. i recall someone commenting on it, and I thought i said something confirmatory about it. The blondes (wifey and besties husband) went to the store, and I could tell bestie might fall asleep, so i tried to get her to stay awake, she needed to for the new schedule. in interacting i’d asked to hold her hand, and she observed i was sad to relinquish it when she wanted it back. admitting that made me sad, led to just an outpouring of all of this stuff sans work stuff. and the worry about time to spend. I shouldn’t have dumped all of that on her, she didn’t consent to listening to that, and she certainly had a stressful enough time. I hate that when I’m in the throws of this damn disease I can’t seem to stop this. I don’t want to hurt the people I love. I don’t want to push them away. She reminded me I ought to go to therapy. I worry I may have offended her by talking about worrying about time we’d get to spend together. That voice in my brain is trying to convince me that her response means that those times mean so much more to me than to her. thats a damn lie. its a damn lie and it needs to get out. I’m exorcising it with the lot.

I’ve just received the list. I’m ending this here, and moving forward with that productive enterprise

[xxlovendreamsxx]

yours, forevermore [5]

A/N: guess what @kuriquinn, this is still dedicated to you! ily girlie. 😘

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four

Sasuke visits Konoha’s burial grounds before the sun has even begun to rise that morning, tired of the constant tossing and turning in the bed of the Hokage suite. There had been no benefit to staying any longer, no rest or peace of mind to be found—so if sleep would not come, he was better off putting what time he had to good use.

(gods know he never has enough of it, these days.)

It had been too long since he last came to his family’s graves, anyway.

Sighing, Sasuke lightly touches his older brother’s headstone as he reaches the familiar site, closing his eyes. Miss you more than words can say, he thinks, as he always does. After a moment, he pulls away and kneels down at his parent’s graves, offering them both a singular flower; a white chrysanthemum for his father, and a white lily for his mother. He bows his head to offer a few silent prayers.

When he is done, Sasuke lets himself smile a little, soft, small, and somewhat sad. He shifts to sit down comfortably beside Itachi’s tombstone.

“I’m late, I know,” he says, breathing in the early morning air and setting his gaze on the orange-pinkish horizon. The sun is finally getting up. “Sorry, niisan. I guess I understand why you couldn’t always hold your promise.”

But he doesn’t go on, and he lets silence take over instead, watching as the sun continues to rise, starts to warm the air. Sasuke sighs, eyes dropping shut once more. A heaviness surrounds him, but it’s far from unpleasant, he finds. He lets himself believe that it’s because the spirits of his family have come, summoned by his stressed, frustrated heart to hold and support him in this too-complicated time.

Letting their comfort wash over, Sasuke feels the tension in him ease, dwindle. Gods, he wishes his mother would really be here. Wishes she could tell him what to do, what to say. He’s sure she would know.

(more than his father and brother would, anyway. he doubts either of them would be particularly more skilled in the matters of the heart—father had always been too busy trying to lead their clan to a better future, and itachi had always been too busy being the council’s tool of destruction.)

Pensive, Sasuke wonders what his family would say if they could see the situation he was in right now. Mother would probably bonk him over the head and call him a dense idiot, he muses with a smile. But then she’d also hug him, kiss his cheek, offer him some wise words of wisdom. The opposite of Father, whom of course, would disapprove entirely. And Itachi…

Itachi would undeniably march him to Sakura’s door, demand that he tell her everything—whatever the hour it was. There would be no excuses with him, no justifying how long it was taking to make things right. He would march him all the way to the hospital, to her parents’ house, or over the village borders, if he had to.

Itachi wouldn’t let him fuck this up anymore.

“Couldn’t sleep?” he hears someone say, then, causing him to stiffen rigidly.

Sasuke turns his head over his shoulder. His gaze narrows as he sees his old sensei carrying a small bouquet of flowers. “What are you doing here?”

Kakashi frowns. “It’s my father’s birthday. I think I’m allowed to visit his grave.”

“It’s early.”

“You’re not the only one who has trouble getting rest, Sasuke.”

Mulling his lips, Sasuke keeps his mouth shut, and turns back to the brightening sky ahead. He doesn’t have the energy to argue with his ex-teacher.

(because truth is, these days, it’s not so much that he has trouble sleeping—he just doesn’t seem to have the time. or maybe he just has trouble managing it.)

Behind him, Kakashi sighs. Sasuke hears him start walking towards him, and clenches his jaw. Can’t he just be alone?

“You should think about getting new guards.”

Sasuke blinks. “What?”

“Your ANBUs—the ones you’re obligated to have watch you around the clock. You should request for new ones—or at least find out which ones you can really trust.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

At this, Kakashi gives him a look. Sasuke doesn’t understand it, but it makes his heart sink with dread for a reason he can’t explain.

That is, until:

“I heard three of your ANBUs gossiping when I was heading out of my home earlier. Whispering to each other in the middle of the street how they were glad their shift was finally over because of the things that they had been awkwardly forced to witness in your office today.”

Sasuke tenses impossibly. Shit—he hadn’t even thought about that. Of course his guards would have to be bystanders to this whole damn mess. He feels the back of his neck heat up. Fucking hell.

(indeed, he is going to need new guards—ones that won’t breach the contracted rules of upholding privacy. he needs to find out who the culprits are.)

“Sasuke… you said this was going on because you hadn’t talked about it yet,” Kakashi goes on, then. He’s so quiet, so clearly deprecating, and it makes his blood boil. “How can you not have worked this out by now? It’s been five weeks—”

Angry from both the betrayal of his ANBUs and everyone’s persistent cursed nosiness, Sasuke cuts him off with a snarl. “And how many times do I have to say that it’s none of your fucking business? Stay out of it, Kakashi—this doesn’t concern you.”

Kakashi glares at him—something that catches Sasuke by surprise. He doesn’t usually lose his temper like this.

“It concerns me that you are tearing each other apart, Sasuke,” he says, his tone low but somehow still frighteningly chilling. “So stop being so goddamn stupid and talk to her already.”

And with that, he walks away, leaving Sasuke to swallow down any resentful retorts.

Sasuke digs his hands into the grass. It kills him to admit that though his ex-teacher is nosy and overstepping, he is also right.

No more screwing around.

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“Ogino.”

“Yes, Hokage-sama?”

“Get me the names of the ANBUs who were on guard duty last night.”

“Right away, sir.”

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.

He decides to let a week pass by before ultimately doing anything, allowing Sakura some space to cool off from their last encounter. Resolute as he is on finally repairing their complicated, splintered relationship, Sasuke doubts Sakura would like to hear anything he has to say when hours earlier, he’d thoughtlessly asked her to leave a job she loved.

(something that still makes him want to groan—it’s one of the dumbest things he’s ever done.)

But he doesn’t let that time go to waste; every day, he works tirelessly on filing papers and conducting meetings, eager to free his schedule to ensure he would have no pressing responsibilities holding him back. He sets himself on making a permanent change: he can’t take back what he’s done, but he can start making his own time for the people that he loves, and put an end to this toxic habit of sacrificing everything for a singular goal. Finding justice for his family is important, yes, but so is Sakura Haruno. He can find a balance, from now on. He can keep the village safe and happy, reform the system, bring respect to the Uchiha clan—and he can make a life with Sakura, be the good partner she deserves to have at her side.

And it all starts here, by finally granting himself the right not to comply to every request sent his way. And also, delegating.

“Hokage-sama?”

Eyes flickering up from the previously sealed mission report at his desk, Sasuke raises a brow when he sees his young, brown-haired second assistant peeking unsurely from his door.

(because yes, he had finally caved to hiring someone else, pride be damned. though almost annoyingly too meek, the woman really was unworldly good at her job—appointing her was the best decision he’d made all year.)

Sasuke gestures her inside. “What is it?”

“Um…” Looking down at the floor, she tucks a fallen lock of hair behind her ear, and Sasuke knows then that he isn’t going to like what she will say. “The council is waiting outside your office. They’re requesting a meeting now—”

“Fuck no,” Sasuke immediately replies, interrupting her as his eyes narrow. He huffs an irritated breath, and returns to the classified scroll at hand. “Send them away,” he says. “And tell them to call and schedule a meeting like everyone else. I have other plans today, and I aim to keep them.”

“B-But sir, I don’t think—”

“I don’t care, Uzume. They’re not the ones who have to bury themselves in work on a daily basis, nor are they the ones who make the final decisions around here. I am the Hokage—they are merely my advisors. They will work with my schedule. Tell them they will wait until a suitable time, or I will have them escorted out of this office.”

Wide-eyed, his assistant blushes—more out of nervousness than embarrassment, he suspects—and then nods jerkily. She gives him a quick, polite bow. “Ah—of course, Hokage-sama,” she stutters, quickly stepping towards the filing cabinet. She drops a massive pile of completed forms on top. “Um, please excuse me.”

Then she disappears from his office to deliver the news, seemingly uncomfortable. Sasuke thinks it’s probably because she fears disrespecting the elders.

He goes back to work, and ignores the ensuing muffled conversation behind the door.

(although, he will admit, he feels oddly pleased as the voices start to grow in volume, exclamations of irritation and contempt becoming more and more distinct. that will teach them.)

Sasuke only pauses again when someone tries to enter anyway; the door jiggles for half a moment before, judging by the light rustling and surrendering cries, the perpetrator is seemingly stopped.

“All right, all right!” a man snaps, sounding suspiciously like Homura. His tone is dripping with sharp irritation. “There is no need to get physical—we will take our leave without you. Uncultured brats… Come, Council, we will come back another time when our leader isn’t in such a foul mood.”

Try when you have an actual appointment, Sasuke thinks, rolling his eyes.

It’s a few minutes before his assistant comes back inside, looking rather stunned. Sasuke spares her only a flickering glance, still contemplating the report.

“The guards did their job, I take it?”

Uzume’s eyes are still wide. “Uh… yes, Hokage-sama.”

He gives her a small, pleased nod. “Make sure to let them know I want no more interruptions. I intend to leave in an hour.”

She nods, too, and bows again. “Okay—um, I mean, right away, Hokage-sama. I’ll… I’ll be back later to file those papers as well.”

Sasuke hums, and the sound of her clicking heels resound across his office. He stops his assistant only when he hears her click open the door. “Uzume.”

“Y-Yes?”

He nearly sighs. “Good work today.”

Her voice reveals an undeniable smile. “Thank you, Hokage-sama.”

No, it’s you I should thank, Sasuke thinks. For cutting down my work and giving me time to get my life together.

Today is the day.

.

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An hour later, when he gathering his things, he sends his hawk Takauji with a scroll for Sakura.

Sakura,

Meet me at my apartment in two hours.

We need to see each other. It’s important.

I know you don’t have a shift at the hospital.

Sasuke

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Sakura arrives at his door twenty minutes early, turning the grim expression on his face to one of genuine surprise; he expected her to be late, if anything. Sasuke’s mouth parts, but he closes it quickly, resting his towel on his shoulder. He’d just gotten out of the shower a short while ago.

“Hi,” she says, softly, looking strangely fragile despite still being so lovely. There is a weakness to her gaze that he doesn’t like.

His heart squeezes, and Sasuke swallows. They really are tearing each other apart like this, he muses. Sakura is so much stronger than that.

(but no longer—he will break her no longer.

…or soon, anyway.)

Exhaling a slow, quiet breath, Sasuke lets the tension in him leave. He gives Sakura a nod. “You’re early,” he says. “I didn’t expect you to be early.” There is no displeasure to his tone. Only relief.

Sakura blushes faintly. “I know,” she mumbles, as she looks down at her feet. She seems almost flustered—or even conflicted. Sasuke hasn’t seen her this insecure since she was a young teenager. He hates how much he’s making her pedal backwards. “I just…”

He doesn’t need to hear more. Stepping aside, Sasuke opens the door wider; a silent invitation. Looking up, Sakura blinks at him, swallows, then acquiesces to his offer.

He doesn’t expect her to push him back a few steps and kiss him as soon as she crosses the threshold, one hand tossing his towel away while the other fists his shirt, foot driving the door shut. Sasuke’s breath snags in his lungs, body growing tight. Half a moment later, he finds himself melting against her, utterly overtaken; he draws her close, kisses her back, curling his fingers into her clothes. Her kisses are both hot and wanton as they are sweet and full of yearning, and it makes his head spin.

But then Sakura tugs at his shirt, pulling at the hem like she needs it off, and Sasuke frowns. His thoughts come rushing back to him. No… no, he can’t let this happen again. Not before they talk things out, put everything out in the open—no matter how much she sends his whole body buzzing.

His hands close around her wrists.

“Sakura,” he whispers against her lips, trying to gently tug her away. He hates how much his body screams to get her back, needing her warmth, her closeness. “Sakura, stop. We can’t. This isn’t why I wanted you to come here.”

“It’s okay,” she says, breathless, pulling him close. She kisses him once more, reaching under his shirt to caress his skin. Sasuke tenses, a groan nearly slipping out of him. “It’s okay. I want this too, Sasuke-kun. There’s nothing wrong with this—”

“Sakura—”

“It’s all right.” One of her hands falls to his belly, tracing the faint ridges there. His mind is starting to fog again. Damnit. “Please, Sasuke-kun. I—I need this. You need this.”

“Sakura, this isn’t—”

“Shh,” she hushes, catching his mouth with hers and kissing him deeper. “We don’t need to talk about it. We can keep doing this. We don’t have to stop. Please.”

The hand on his stomach slides beneath the hem of his pants, so close to where he wants her. Sasuke almost chokes, feeling himself spiral. Sharply, he pulls back, deftly slipping away from her too-wonderful fingers. Breaths heavy and choppy, he swallows against his suddenly dry throat, body burning everywhere. Holy shit that was close.

Hurt splinters across Sakura’s face, a few seconds later. The sight keeps him anchored, reminds them why they’re here. Sasuke sighs quietly.

“We do need to talk, Sakura,” he murmurs. “Everything about this is fucked up. All those weeks ago, when we—” He pauses here, and mulls his lips. He looks down. He still doesn’t know how to explain that day. “That wasn’t supposed to happen. Things got out of hand. I never meant—”

A wounded noise cuts him off, and Sasuke flinches, eyes settling on Sakura again. He finds her face all scrunched up, mouth twisted as though she wants to cry. She curls a hand protectively over her chest.

“Stop. Please stop, Sasuke-kun,” she pleads, and her voice wavers, cracks. There are tears glimmering now. “I’m begging you—I can’t hear this. I can’t. My heart can’t take this.”

His throat grows tight. Gods, how he wishes he would stop making her cry. Wishes he would stop breaking her heart, wishes he could wrap his arms around her right now and kiss away all her pain. But he can’t. He really can’t. He needs to keep trying, to finally explain to her how he wants so much more than this—how he wants everything, and not just that warm space between her legs.

Sasuke touches her arm gently. “Sakura, listen…”

But Sakura doesn’t want to hear it.

“No!” she wails. She wrenches herself away so fast his heart skips a painful beat. “I’m done doing this with you, Sasuke-kun! I’m done getting pulled in every direction and getting my hopes up, only for you to tear them down! Done being the only one hurt every time you fleetingly grow some kind of conscience!” She’s trembling now, thick tears spilling down her angry cheeks as she seemingly struggles not to burst into loud, miserable sobs. “I’ve loved you for over ten years now, Sasuke-kun. Ten years. And I am tired of getting my heart broken because you can’t get yourself together…

“I don’t want to wait for the impossible anymore. I don’t want to keep hoping you might realize that you want me by your side, or that you might want a life with me. It hurts too much, Sasuke-kun. I’ve already let myself believe it once, when you kissed me all those years ago, but then—then you treated us like we were nothing and I—” A sob escapes her, then, soft and broken and unbearably hard to hear. It takes everything in Sasuke not to look away from her. “When you kissed me again all those weeks ago, I was the closest to you than I’ve been in years, Sasuke-kun… I felt like I finally mattered to you—like I knew I did, once. Even if it was just for this.” Her lower lip trembles. “But now you want to take even that away from me…”

Sakura trails out, and cries even harder, then, so hard she gasps in every breath. Sasuke’s jaw grows rigid at the sight; he doesn’t want to stand here and do nothing anymore.

So with an aching heart clenching so terribly, terribly with every beat, Sasuke cups the face of the woman he loves and gingerly wipes her tears away, careful. Sakura shakes her head with vehemence, pushing weakly at his chest to try and drive him away—but all in vain. She crumbles against his touch, defeated and helpless. She is just as starved for his love as he is for hers, he realizes with downturn of his mouth.

(it’s no wonder she doesn’t want him to take away what they have when she no longer thinks they will ever have anything more.)

Pressing his forehead to her own, Sasuke gathers all the tenderness he can find and kisses her slowly, sweetly, holding her soft, precious face in his hands. He brushes his thumb to her skin as she stills, breath hitching, more tears slipping down her cheeks. He smooths them off, and kisses her once more, just as gently, cradling her trembling body in a warm embrace. Half a sob tumbles from her lips, but she kisses him back, burying her fingers in his hair in desperation.

Maybe he can show her how he feels instead, Sasuke thinks, as he lets her take off his shirt and starts guiding her towards his bedroom. Maybe if he makes love to her with all the devotion and care in his heart, she’ll understand everything.

At least, this is what he tells himself as he lets them tug off each other clothes as they go, lips never parting even as they lightly bump and knock into walls and counters. This is what he tells himself as he kisses her, touches her, keeping himself loving and patient, determined not to let lust take over. Sakura whimpers and holds him closer, hiccupping breaths fading into moans and hot little gasps.

They’re both naked by the time they reach his bed, tumbling onto the soft mattress in the darkness of the room. Dazed, needing to see her, Sasuke reaches to turn on his bedside lamp, cursing when he inadvertently knocks their old team seven frame to the floor. The sound of Sakura laughing startles him, so much that when he turns back to look at her, he can’t help his mind from going back to that time all those weeks ago, where he’d been alone in bed and craving to have her at his side.

And now she was here; naked, smiling, and utterly beautiful, with her sweet, sweet green eyes gleaming at him so brightly. Sasuke’s mouth dries, and raw emotion wells up at him, so thickly he feels nothing short of overwhelmed. He cups her cheek and kisses her with aching gentleness, eyes slipping shut tight.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, earnest as he’s ever been.

He feels the smile drop from Sakura’s mouth, lips trembling against his. Sasuke swears he can feel the hurt flaring to life again in her heart, but he refuses to budge as she pushes at him to try and run away.

“Don’t, don’t—Sasuke-kun, don’t do this—”

She starts to cry again and pushes him harder, but Sasuke holds onto her tighter and grits his teeth, brushing his thumb to her cheek.

“I’m so sorry, Sakura—”

“Just let me leave,” she sobs, struggling against him. “Let me leave, let me leave, I can’t do this, just let me leave—”

“Damnit, Sakura, I love you!” Sasuke says, then, frustration getting to him as it comes out sounding sharp and much more forceful than he’d hoped.

(but he’d said it. at least he’d finally fucking said it.)

Sakura’s breath catches, and she stiffens beneath him. “W-What?”

Sasuke softens. “I love you. Sakura, I’ve always loved you. Since five years ago, since before even that. I never meant to hurt you the way that I did—I never meant to get so caught up in my goals that I never put you, or Naruto or Kakashi first. I threw away what we had without even realizing it because I was so focused on the responsibilities I had trying to get justice for my clan. And I wish I realized that sooner. I really fucking do. I wish I’d known how to solve everything, but I had no idea what to do. Especially not after we…” He swallows, and moves his hand to her jaw, then, stroking so devotedly. “Nothing about this has ever been just sex to me, Sakura. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I want more. I’ve always wanted more. I want… you.” All of you. By my side. So stay, please. Stay, and I’ll never make those mistakes again. I promise.

For a moment, Sakura says nothing; she merely keeps crying, unable to stop. Yet there is a lightness to her now, a missing heaviness to the way she wipes her tears and sniffles and hiccups, and it makes the tension in him melt away.

“Y-You love me?” she asks, eventually, her voice so feeble.

But Sasuke catches it, that certain hope and fullness that makes him want to smile. He pushes his forehead to her own, running his thump over her cheek. “I do,” he whispers.

Making some noise of relief, Sakura pulls him close and hugs him tight, burying her face in his neck. Closing his eyes, Sasuke breathes in her scent and pulls her closer, finally feeling relaxed and content—like he hasn’t been able to in much too long. His heart swells in his chest when Sakura runs her hands through his hair, whispering how much she loves him, how much she’s sorry she didn’t listen to him when he was trying to make things right. Brushing his lips to her brow, Sasuke pulls back and kisses her, kissing her again, and again, and again.

He makes love to her when she asks him to, a while later, and it’s slow, and good, and wonderful. Better than any of their times before. He feels full, complete, even moreso when he knows she does, too. There is nowhere else he wants to be—he would spend forever making love to her if he could. When Sakura gets close, she whispers to him to tell her again that he loves her, so he does, once, twice, and three times more. He kisses her when she comes soon after, holding him close and whimpering his name. Sasuke swears she’s never looked more beautiful.

They stay wrapped up in each other when they’re sated and spent, whispering conversation in the dim, moonlit room. Sasuke pulls the sheets over them when Sakura shivers a little from the cold, her giggle curling the edges of his mouth. She thanks him, and kisses him like they have all the time in the world, like there is nothing they can’t face together… and he supposes that as of tonight, that is probably true.

For the rest of his life, he will make time to kiss and love Sakura like she deserves, like she wants.

For the rest of his life, he will make sure she never doubts the place she holds in his heart.

Sleep takes them within minutes, and it’s the easiest he’s had in years.

.

.

Sakura comes to find him at lunch the next day, carrying her usual stack of paperwork and two bento boxes, along with the prettiest, happiest blush. Sasuke feels his eyes brighten in an instant, lips curling in the faintest smile. He doesn’t think twice about abandoning his work for the time being.

“Hello, Sasuke-kun,” Sakura says, tucking her files to her chest. Grinning, she shows off the bento boxes. “I thought you might want to have lunch with me. I know I left in a bit of a hurry this morning… since you know, early surgery and all.”

Sasuke hums. “Hmm. Thank you,” he says, and he takes the bento boxes from her hand to put them aside on his desk. He surprises even himself when he tugs her onto his lap, next, fighting back another smile at her slight yelp. The glow from yesterday clearly still has yet to fade.

Sasuke slides a hand to her hip. He peers inside one of the bento boxes. “Onigri?”

Sakura smiles sheepishly. “Yes… I didn’t have much time when I got home. But I made your favorite kind!”

As if to prove she isn’t lying, she grabs a ball and peels a layer of rice back, revealing the flaky okaka filling. Amused, Sasuke grabs the onigri from her hand and takes a bite, chewing carefully.

“It’s good,” he offers, and Sakura smiles wider. She eats the bits on her hands, and croons with much satisfaction, happy with the fruits of her labor.

Sasuke shakes his head and smiles. “I’ll grab my stuff and we can leave.”

Beaming, Sakura pushes herself off his lap, allowing him to do just that.

It is at the moment that he stands up, however, that Shikamaru strolls in, sporting his usual look of exasperation and mouth opened to say something. He stills and chooses to refrain himself when he catches sight of them both, something of a frown forming.

Sasuke knows then that Shikamaru dreads what he is about to say. He narrows his eyes.

“What?”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Shikamaru says. He points his thumb to the door. “But we have a meeting with the other Kages starting right now. It’s about the upcoming chunnin exams.”

Fuck. That’s right. Sasuke pinches the bridge of his nose. He forgot.

But as he exhales a sharp breath and goes to say that he’ll be there in a minute, his eyes briefly flicker to Sakura, sees her falter. That makes him stop.

(because this was how it all started, back then. brushing her aside time and time again, choosing to deal with matters that weren’t always that pressing, simply because he felt it was his duty.)

Sasuke’s gaze lightens, shoulders softening under the weight of yesterday’s memories. He knows what to do.

“Take Uzume with you and attend the meeting without me,” Sasuke says, taking off his Hokage robes and hanging them over his chair. He gives Sakura the ghost of a smile, and moves to rid her of her stack of files, sliding them onto his desk. “I’ll look over the notes tomorrow. I trust you’ll make the right decisions.”

The smile Sakura gives him in return is blinding, positively radiating with the brightest, most brilliant happiness. Sasuke feels his heart swell with pure, simple pride.

“You sure?”

Sasuke nods at his assistant. “I’m sure.” He picks up both bento boxes from his desk, and puts a hand at Sakura’s back to gently urge her forward. He spares her a tender glance. “I have lunch plans with Sakura.”

He’s learned his lesson.

.

.

.

End.