#which isn't really acceptable since I am a college student now

[studyblr-perhaps]

The worst part of writing a report is I have no clue how to start

[baldwinboy5ive]

I've been talking to several different folks about how nervous I am about where they're going to go with Hawk and Demetri at the end of the season... I eventually decided I might as well jot some of it down here to see if my feelings change when I see how it all ultimately plays out at the very end.

First, I have already gone ON AND ON at length about this with some friends and don't think this part needs to be expanded on here, but - I find it kind of astonishing that the writing for their fight right now is actually realistic. I think it's pretty good writing and I am actually really okay with it, and it MAKES SENSE to me.

That's... kind of the problem, haha. It makes sense. And it's realistic.

It's realistic for best friends - even REALLY REALLY CLOSE best friends - to go to different colleges and/or drift apart because of college.

But this is TV Land and I don't want that particular variety of realistic for these particular two characters. I just don't. I think I just want them to be together forever.

They could even write that and have it be kind of bittersweet and still be a happy ending where they stay friends or whatever but I'm not sure if I want that.

Honestly if I wanted to see a beautiful portrayal of a somewhat realistic in theme, if not in actual events, separation of friends because of high school graduation, and the melancholy acceptance of that separation knowing that your friendship will NEVER be the same after this no matter how much you wish it could be because people change so much in college, then goddammit I'd watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off, not Cobra Kai!!! Look, just let me have my stupid happy ending in Cobra Kai, because Ferris Bueller already did that perfectly and I don't want to see it in this hahaahahah I just want them to be unrealistically together forever and ever hahaha. Okay?!

See, Ferris Bueller was unrealistic in its wacky hijinks-ness... but it was PAINFULLY realistic in its presentation of the fears of individuality and growing up and growing apart from your friends and the inevitable big changes that happen in people's lives as they grow from childhood to adulthood...

Yeah, I'm just not sure I want that for them haha, I just want them together forever.

I have to credit @blinkasaurus though for GIVING me the Secret Third Option: by telling me that, because MIT and Harvard are not only affiliated but also incredibly physically close to each other, students at one can actually take certain classes at the other. I had no idea. I found out they're literally like two miles from each other. That's like, a brisk walk, or a short motorcycle ride, or, as she also pointed out to me, TWO SUBWAY STOPS.

I think that Demetri, being a west coast kid AND on top of that being so focused on only one dream school for his life, could easily just not know about these schools being so physically close. I mean, I knew they were in the same general area but not THAT close. And certainly not that thing about taking classes at the other.

So, hey, if this is how it works out, then it could really work for Eli because I think it's not the school, i think it's the fact that they both have changed so much since they made their "we're going to both go to MIT together" pact that he isn't sure he's that same person anymore and he has to figure out his individuality and how to be on his own. Maybe this way, he gets to strike it on his own, while still going to A Smart Person School (as @demetriandelibinaryboyfriends puts it hahah), possibly even The Smart Person School.

Demetri is dismayed to find out they’ll be going to different schools… but then not really! They’d literally be so close they could even just room with each other after their first year in the dorms or something. Which is exactly something I wrote about before this season aired.

I do kind of feel like it IS so different over there. Things are just so spread out in CA. I could absolutely see two friends going to, say, UCLA and USC and not being able to see each other frequently. But this would be different. They really could still be together.

It would practically still feel like them getting to go to the same school, with neither of them feeling abandoned by the other, while still feeling like they got to do what they wanted to do.

I don't know if I can cope with this being them.

This whole day was many things, about which many, many folks have written far better than I could, but one of them was the looming, impending knowledge that Ferris would eventually have to accept, that things were going to change. And maybe not for the better, because who knows? But that would be for another day.

I'm just not sure I really want or need Eli and Demetri to have to go through that!

[jackleg-penwright]

On Age Segregation

I was homeschooled in the late eighties and all through the nineties. There was a lot that was kind of toxic in that culture (though some of the worst tendencies, my parents actually actively rejected - even within a fairly intense segregated culture, it still wasn’t monolithic), but not everything was. For instance, one of the driving forces for my parents and for other parents in the movement was the idea that the age segregation reinforced by traditional schooling was toxic and harmful, both to children (who never learned to interact with either adults, or anyone younger than them) and to society. 

And while I do know that there were some negative unintended consequences to not having a “peer group” you could learn how to be equals to - for instance, to this day when I interact with anyone who is clearly an adult, my brain immediately sees them as “authority figure, must be deferred to, if they disapprove of what you think, then you must be wrong” (which I can and do actively resist, but it takes effort every time, and sometimes I don’t have the spoons to fight with my brain), even if they’re ten to fifteen years younger than I am. 

Then again, as an awkward, undiagnosed autistic kid in a time period when being a nerd was something even the adults thought you should be ashamed to admit, I probably wouldn’t have been that successful at finding an accepting peer group no matter what.

So yeah, there were some long-term downsides, but on the whole I think it was a very healthy mindset to foster. The idea that people are people, and that you can find something in common with someone of any age. My dad and my kids used to connect over Minecraft, and if you watched my dad’s minecraft youtube channel, you’d figure out pretty quickly he wasn’t doing it “to connect with the kids,” but because he really enjoys playing around in the wide open sandbox (he’s an electrician by trade, and most of his explorations are deep dives into what you can do with redstone).

I was reading one of those “Am I The A******” summary articles a while back, and the OP was wondering if she’d been too strict in actively preventing her 19 year old daughter from interacting with her 27 year old boyfriend (they had met in a student club at a school they both attended, and didn’t realize there WAS an age gap until they had already become solid friends). And even though the consensus was that yes, trying to be that controlling to someone who is a legal adult would probably backfire, it really bothered me how many of the comments assumed that the boyfriend had to be a perv because no one could possibly have anything in common with someone that much younger than them.

I have some significant trauma I won’t get into from people who acted on that assumption with regard to me (I was a student in a community college actor training program, but for some reason I was the only older student in that program, which I hadn’t thought would make a difference since most community college programs are very age-diverse, but since the younger students were just out of high school, they still saw themselves as children, while I saw them as fellow adults, because that’s what they were), which is really annoying because the idea that an "older" adult and a younger adult can’t connect over shared passions is not even true. (not to mention, mid- to late-thirties isn't even that old, I promise - all my parents' peers still call me a baby, and I'm over 40 now)

As the anonymity of Tumblr has shown us, it’s VERY common, if you start by taking away the basis for age-prejudice and just interact with people as they are, to discover just how much you have in common with people from all over the age spectrum. And it actually hurts a lot to see how many people (especially men, I guess, because no man could possibly enjoy other human beings for anything but sexual objectification, right?) are vilified for recognizing and acting on the reality that people can enjoy people, no matter what their age.

[fareehaandspaniards]

I’m late Fareeha, but let me ask you the same questions you asked me except for Damian!!

10, 18, 23, 44, 49

And maybe just for fun, 1 for Kuja!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

You can't even imagine how cool that you asked 1 for Kuja! xd I don't have any headcanons for him, because my hyperfixation for FF9 went through when I was 5! And Kuja isn't really my blorbo, I like him, but really love general Beatrix and Dagger and Steiner...! FF9 means a lot to me. I play videogames since age of 4 and only two games in my life made me want to dig into their world, learn about it everything, live there mentally, love ALL characters - and they are Bloodborne and Final Fantasy IX. There are many games that I like, adore or something but these two.... Ah....

BUT(T) I HAVE ONE THING IN CANON THAT I REJECT(ED EARLIER) in FF9

So here's a story

I played FF9 first time when I was 4 or 5 and my mom was teaching me how to read with this game! She said "If you want to understand what they are saying, you need to read yourself!" and I really started to read! She helped me a lot but I did my best because I loved characters and the game really much... Very smol Fareeha was enjoying the story when the man appeared on the screen:

I was like *GASP* >:0

And I was VERY confused why does he look like THIS, WHAT THE HELL is on his HIPS. I said then that he is NASTY and was so embarassed and shocked xddddd My mom laughed, she was expecting me to like him because he looks attractive xD Later I finally accepted his look but still.... wtf is on his hips..... xDDD

Okay, now about Damian :'D

10 Best moment on the screen..... xD

He appears 3 times in the game as a phantom and I like them all? I suppose the most tragic is the one when we call him to defeat Rom... I don't know maybe they never knew each other, but in my headcanons he decides to kill her because wants Yharnam's nightmare to end and to fix what Micolash did by helping the player... It's painful for him to kill her and shall I mention that he may kill Yurie also if player wants so? I think Spider Rom realises everything what is going on she just knows that it needs to happen, that's why she fights us - to test us if we are really the one who will end the Nightmare like many bosses in souls-like games do... T_T

18 What they’d go to see a therapist about

He would totally talk about all the shit he did in the School of Mensis and OF COURSE about Micolash whom he trusted everything as well as his own life without any hesitation...

23 Scented candle. I am very specific and picky about them and if I would like to think about Damian with the burning candle... It would be a orange scented candle!

He loves oranges in my headcanons and bought them from a caravan seller from southern lands which visited Yharnam once in three months <3

44 Q_Q Happiest memory - I will tell from my own vision of Damian's life? Since we don't know anything about Damian for sure, I just live in my own vision of all Bloodborne lore. I think it's the moment when he got to know Micolash closer in Byrgenwerth and realised that Mico is the one who he wants to care for, make him happy and give everything from himself. When he mutually fell in love but there was no violence, experiments, madness, just a time when Micolash was curious young student and Damian was a librarian... There were no ambitions and lethal plans, only casual problems and college routines, science and romantic...

And one more happy memory - when he was a Tomb Prospector and was teaching Gremia how to read! Among all of horrors of chalice dungeons that they explored, Research Hall experiments and Micolash who digged into observation of the sea, Damian felt very lonely, tried not to think about what is going of with people in Research Hall. He couldn't do anything with that at all or help them - it would mean to betray Micolash.

And then he gained a chance to take his mind off his problems! He just spent cozy evening with Gremia showing him how to spell letters and words, how to read fast. They were joking, having fun and kissing and... <3 (I have headcanon that Gremia was growing up on Yharnam's streets and earned money for life with fighting with bets. He didn't know how to read and write because it's all for "rich people" who can afford books at least. So he had problems with the Church which wanted Tomb Prospector to read and learn prayers... lol...)

49 I think his favourite toy was plushie bunny! Old, with button-like eyes, dusty, but loved by little Damian. I have no idea why but it's a strong headcanon. I have a vision of his childhood and that he had little brother named Irzhie. Irzhie was constantly ill and died at the age of 4. Irzhie died while sleeping and little Damian didn't understand that he is dead he thought that Irzhie was sleeping. And little Damian was just playing for his ill brother making a little theatre out of toys and his favourite plushie bunny. He learned the truth from parents later and couldn't realise what happened... Small kids can't understand what is death it's hard for them to realise that the person will never move or talk again... I think Damian's toy is buried with Irzhie T_T

Sorry for amount of headcanons, I really was excited to share my vision...

<3

[heartburstings]

in my mind bapo is in the late 90s/early 2000s bc if it took place now it wouldn't be as believable for me. i don't mean like "oh this would never happen" or that the message is only valid in that specific time frame. but also that late 90s/early 2000s is a really specific, like... it's that context, for me, which gives a lot of the never-spoken-always-heard-ness of the show. that marriage was only legal in one state, and obviously it wasn't their own; that there wasn't any representation--i mean, there was, but it's dubious if peter or jason had ever heard of them; that there was even any support that they knew of, surrounded only by dubious-but-better-to-be-safe options. for years, since they met and fell in love. of course that felt like forever to peter. of course anytime would feel too soon for jason. of course.

like, i don't mean to water down the pervasive homophobia that still exists today, in churches, in private schools (that kids have to Dorm In!), but we've come so far, really, and there is solace in an online community where there isn't in a private school that's known to be homophobic.

(institutionally anyway; nothing to say of the students themselves. my cousin goes to a private college that is quite never-spoken-always-heard itself, but there was a sorority/secret gsa where the greek letters literally spelled "GAY." they weren't found out for just about decades, iirc. but then they came out as a sort of protest and got shut down... of course the community is still there, and she found it quite quickly. if there is support you look for the signs. but still, still, you are hidden. and it is not as if peter and jason--if there was such a group at their small, tight-knit high school--would have known how to look for it, would have known what to look for, and how to be certain. at that time, homophobia was more acceptable (duh-doy), and as such, more casual and obvious, pervasive, ingrained. no wonder jason is homophobic. i would have no surprise if they didn't even consider the possibility of anyone else in school being queer... i often wonder how they came to come out to each other. how much they would have trusted each other already. to have your one confidant to be your lover, and for only you two to know. no wonder they are so close... no wonder they broke up, while still loving each other so deeply, knowing each other as irreparably well as they did. oh shit i'm digressing. anyway.)

so, here we have two gay teens on their own, who are the only real live queer people they know. they were so isolated. they became even more so when they broke up, and it says so much about how and why it happened, how deeply hurt and betrayed peter felt, when he cut jason off so thoroughly as to not even talk to him for a passing conversation in the hallway, when they used to be fucking desperate for even a fucking second in that hallway.

i don't know. i don't want to romanticize it, and if i am i don't mean to. but there's something about that isolation that makes it hit so much harder for me. the conversation they have in best kept secret, where jason urges peter to trust that time will be kind, and that he later loses trust in it... it makes more sense to me in that context, than it would have been if it took place now, when we have made so much progress that it's easier to trust in. it's still not easy or certain, but certainly we've come rather far.

although maybe i am biased because i get spiralingly upset whenever someone is flippant and dismissive of jason's concerns as if he is stupid for doubting the world and much more faithful in homophobia than he is in god, that he is idiotic for thinking that comphetting was his best option, that he is human and flawed and makes mistakes and wrongs people as a byproduct of wronging himself and can still be a victim all the same because at the end his regret and his self hatred and his fear kills him, and then he gets mocked for it. and so maybe my opinion about when bapo takes place is really more about my love and despair for jason and wanting more sympathy for him (as far as i can see/tell), and real people who made the same decisions as him, than it is about whatever contextual meaning that time provides.

anyway. about the timeframe (not the timeline i love you guys but i do not want timeline discourse again it hurts me every time i see it. i love it and i love each date that's sleuthed out but it hurts me and it has to hurt you guys too right? isn't it stressful to do all that time math??? all the time?? love yourselves. i love you.), what do you guys think of it? while the script never changes and the year is never spoken of, in my mind, the productions are always reflective of when they were performed. i can't help it, i really do think jason and peter are much more visibly/realistically concerned about the people around them in "you and i" in, say, 2004, than they are in like, 2016. they feel more tangible to me. but also i am limited and kind of petty. does time affect the story/production for you guys?

[nightofnyx8]

I don't usually post life updates, but I thought I'd share just a small portion of what's been going on!

I graduated college! I can't express how happy I am to finally be done with my undergrad! Especially since I didn't get paid for what was essentially a full-time position as a student teacher, I'm more than ready to start filling my bank account rather than draining it every semester.

I loved my student teaching. I got really lucky to have such an incredible mentor teacher, who not only was the head of All-State Choir but taught six top-tier choirs of her own. I loved her students! Seriously, I literally taught 400 of the most amazing high school students you'll ever meet. I will miss them dearly 💕

My husband and I are also finally moving to a non-university apartment (with our own washer and dryer! I get teary-eyed just thinking about it!) It's also a lot newer, which means we finally have actual windows and a stove that doesn't set off the fire alarm every five minutes. It's nothing overly luxurious, of course, but we're happy just to start the next chapter of our lives somewhere that isn't right next to the football stadium 🙃

Right now my husband just accepted a full-time position at his work, and I'm subbing until I can (hopefully) find a teaching job in the fall. I'm a little nervous since choir teachers are such a niche job position in school districts that it can be competitive, especially when surrounded by three colleges with massive music programs. But we're also looking to move across the country in a year or two, so the prospects may change. In the meantime, I'll keep teaching piano and voice lessons.

Been trying not to let my anxiety consume me on the "what-ifs" of a post-college life. If it were up to me, I would have everything sharpied out on the cutest little notebook you ever saw. But seeing as that's unrealistic, I'm just trying to enjoy each day as it is :) The third-grade class I'm subbing for is like teaching twenty Anyas, I'm having a lot of fun writing fanfiction, and I finally have time to actually cook instead of heating up ramen for the sixth time in a row.

Until next time!

PS. Also @firewoodfigs gave me the CUTEST kalimba for Christmas and I LOVE IT 💕 Seriously one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. I'll make it on a plane someday and squeeze your eyes out!

[astroyongie]

Good morning/afternoon/night, Yongie ☺️ It’s actually been a while since I’ve checked your account as I am a dual credit senior with upcoming college and scholarship applications. Attributing to this, I genuinely commiserate because I understand that you must also be a busy student, worker, or both. However, I’ve followed your content for over 2 years now, and I really appreciate not only how considerate and accepting you are but also how unique your posts and responses are, which has contributed to a truly enjoyable and educational experience. As of recently, one of the anon’s asks had reminded me of a post from months prior or longer. Similar to that anon, I also observed Soul’s (p1harmony) aura to be endlessly calm even from my first impression. Perhaps it is because I categorize myself as eccentric or because he’s an idol who is similar in age to me, I find this intriguing. Is it possible if you could elaborate on how he has a disconcerting aura or why, in your opinion? I ask this because no matter how unusual or typically “unsettling” someone’s aura may be, it seems as if it is still within an “acceptable” range to me and not “out of the normal” or scary even though I can sense unexplainable differences, such as with your analysis referring to Q from The Boyz. I’m really sorry if I’m beginning to sound disconcerting myself. 😂 If you do answer, I hope you could please reply to the emoji (because I am that introverted and shy). Thank you very much.

Emoji : 🖤

Firstly thank you so much for being around ! <3

To answer your questions, when it comes to auras, it's a little bit complicated because depending on our own energies we will see people differently which is why some idols for me can have a very negative aura while for other people they are totally fine and even confronting.

When it comes to Soul he is like Changmin (Q) but also just so different.

As everyone knows Changmin's energy for me is dark yet extremely attractive and pulling. That is probably because his dark energy comes form his spiritual work and his capacities as a spiritual person (I keep believing he is the type of person that probably is able to sense energies, sees spirits, etc, at least very connected to that realm) which is why my little detectors get all tingly when I see him and yet I am like "I want to live a enemy to lover with him" although he isn't even my bias on the boyz. It's simply energetic

Soul However, he has that dark energy around him (that I perceive) but not in a way that it attracts me, if anything it repulses me in a discomforting way. This is different from other dark energies in some idols that I just don't vibe with or enjoy (eg. Suga or Jake). In Soul case, it's probably due to mental energy. Obviously, I cannot diagnose him since it's not ethical but a part of me believes and feels like he is very disconnected from feelings and that he rather mimic feelings in social interactions but he isn't capable of distinguishing them himself (of course that is just an analyze or my own judgment and perception on his energy).

I hope this helps a little bit more in understanding how I perceive things in general !

[happyleech]

I don't have a full chapter done yet for my AUroulette2023 but I do have 1600 words so here's 500+ words from my Silent Hill Fairy Tale AU (Silent Hill and Bluebeard)

"Really, Henry? The murder house?" was what woke Lisa from her sleep. She stretched out her senses, the rest of her fellow dead waking as well.

"You gave me our budget, and unless we want to stay renting that shitty apartment, this is our best option. It's cheap, close to campus, and, crucially, your creepy stalker isn't here." Mary and Maria rose, [words]

"He has a point, Cynth. Plus, since this wouldn't be a rental, both you and Henry could set up studios. No more going to campus when you get hit with inspiration at four am." Cybil moved forward and pushed the door open, wincing when it moved far smoother than she expected and hit the wall.

"...right. and that noise was just the wind, then? Someone left a window open?"

"They did just finish a reno in the last year and it's an old house. With the pressure difference from us coming in and the fact that the floors probably aren't fully level, I'm not surprised a door popped open. Besides, you won't have to share a washroom with me or Eileen anymore."

Mira barked and bolted down the hall, followed shortly by Laura and Angela.

"Yeah, okay."

"They're finally selling the place," Lisa said to Mary as they followed the others out into the main room. "I didn't think they ever would."

"Look at us," the elder ghost said. "Look at how many of us died here. I am not surprised that my family has chosen to sell the property instead of accepting more death on their shoulders." She shook her head. "And no one has spent more than a half-year living here since Cybil died."

Cybil was their newest, killed by the same man who ended Lisa's life, who had killed others, when she came to question him. A last act of a desperate man, one that, this time, he couldn’t cover up.

After all, there was nothing subtle about shooting a police officer five times on the front step, in broad daylight.

Since then the house was viewed more as a curiosity, as a spectacular for ghost hunters to flock to. New owners meant the ghost hunters would be turned away or arrested if they were caught breaking in, and they wouldn't feel as much a spectical.

-

"Ha! Take that, dad," Henry said, grinning at the keys he was holding. "Said I'd never do anything with my photography and now I'm part-owner of a house."

"Murder house," Cynthia reminded him, plucking her key from his hand. "Really, really cheap murder house."

"Personally, I prefer murder home," Eileen said, taking her key as well. "Oooh, I'm going to stitch that."

The three had pooled their left over disposable income and hired some other broke college students to move them in, which meant they had time to properly explore the house and pick out their rooms before the van arrived.

"Dibs on the sunroom," Cynthia called. "It's going to be my studio."

"Go for it," Henry replied, looking curiously around the pantry. "This could work for my darkroom—"

"No chemicals where we eat!" Eileen shouted from the front of the house. "Find somewhere else for your spooky room. There's a shed in the back?"

"Just because you've watched too many horror movies—"

As the three bickered and laughed, the cold, cool feeling that overlay the house began to fade. Maybe, everyone thought, just maybe, this will be good.

[nerves-nebula]

Oh wow, that sounds really cool that you're in such a prestigious school! Especially since they paid you to go too, that's really great. If I could help with research I would, I love learning new things :]

If this isn't too odd/big an ask (and if it is, don't worry about answering!) how do you get to a point where a school would pay you to go?

I'd love to go to college or university, but I have to work rn to try and save up and something like that might be the difference between going broke or not. Alas I haven't anyone that'd cover the charges, I've been encouraged not to go to school actually. I graduated high school with a (grade 12) 96% average if that means anything?

most of my projects aren't super research heavy, except for a history class, where I've gotta research a Japanese designer called Tadanori Yokoo. But I'm focusing on other stuff right now. Got a lotta poster presketches and drafts due next week.

I'm from the USA, so this might not be any help at all if you're outside of it. Which you might be, since you called it "grade 12" and I don't think I've heard anyone in the states call it that.

Anyway, here's my wayyy too long ramble about it:

short answer to how I personally got money from art schools is that I had a good portfolio and got accepted. But really, it ultimately depended on the schools financial aid budget.

I got accepted to every art school I applied too, and most offered me some money, whether that be a scholarship or in the form of financial aid. But like I said before, none were enough for me to actually go, since my family is kinda poor.

BUT the school I'm going to right now is rich enough to basically give any students who are poor but got accepted a huge discount on tuition. Or just completely drop tuition entirely and only charge us for room and board, as well as some other fees like health insurance or w/e.

But you also have to take out student loans, because the school doesn't just wanna give you money for FREE.

And that all depends on how much money you or the person supporting you makes. And even then, they expected my mom to be able to contribute way more than she was able to.

Actually, I don't think she helped pay for my first year at all. That's why I worked at McDonalds for a while before school started, so I'd have at least the first few payments ready. I ended up having to ask my dad for money (he doesn't give my mom money to spend on us anymore cause she can't be trusted LMAO), as well as using all $2,000 of an outside scholarship I won exclusively on monthly payments. So "expected" contribution is still a pretty rough estimate on the schools part.

this is all to say it was a really annoying process and I'm currently racking up a ton of debt. Which I might not have to worry about cause my girlfriend gets paid a lot and said with her salary she could probably pay it off in no time.

So let it be known that despite my struggles I am in an extremely privileged position by having someone who I can reliably have help me with college payments.

and that's not even touching on non-art focused colleges. I have NO idea how they decide who gets what money. As far as free/low cost college goes, I think most people's only chance is to get some kind of scholarship, take out a lot of loans and commit yourself to debt, or see if your states community college has more affordable tuition. I mean, if your lucky your state might even have FREE community college.

[untoldthoughtsofastudent]

Untold Thoughts 01: Exhausting and Draining College Preparation

“It’s crazy how fast time flies and how things progress.” - Nathan Chen

I remember I was only in the 9th grade before the pandemic, and now I’m down to the final few weeks of my last year as a senior high school student. It’s indeed crazy how time flies faster than we could ever imagine.

Part of being a senior high school student is to face and overcome the stressful college application and examination season. It’s funny to remember how I planned to apply to many universities—especially to the Big 4—and how excited I got to prepare and process needed documents. Little did I know… college applications and examinations would be detrimental to my physical and mental well-being.

Don’t get me wrong. I am aware that college application is not easy and time-consuming. Especially for my batch because most universities decided to bring back the College Entrance Test (CET), considering that we spent almost four years on online classes, which seems an ineffective learning modality for most students like me. I simply didn't expect it to be more exhausting, draining, and overwhelming than I knew it would be.

Should I review for the CETs? Should I do the tons of given schoolwork for each of our nine subjects? Should I prepare and process the documents needed for the university I am applying to? Should I study and prepare for the upcoming quiz on this subject?

Overwhelmed and pressured about my academic life, I remember these were the questions that kept on messing with my head every day a few months ago. I have too much on my plate. I was utterly bewildered about what I should prioritize. Considering I have three to four classes every day on weekdays, have a lot of given asynchronous activities to accomplish, and am asked to perform household chores, 24 hours a day was insufficient for me to conduct a rigorous review for the CETs.

“The trouble is, you think you have time.” - Jack Kornfield

Please don’t tell me that time management is the key and that I just don’t know how to manage my time wisely. I remember having only two to three hours of sleep, especially when our quarterly examination is nearly approaching. I felt like I also gained weight because of stress-eating. I made coffee my water. I don’t have any more time to exercise. I can’t spend quality time with my family and myself. I forgot to take care of myself. Did I already mention that I am also a club officer? The tons of responsibilities I need to fulfill, my anxiousness about the CETs, and the problems at home and school really almost take the life out of me.

“Things don’t always go as planned.”

Now fast forward: I decided to prioritize my school, as I didn't want to see any failing grades on my report card. Consequently, I didn't get to prepare and study for the CETs as hard as I thought I should. My initial plan to apply and take an exam at the Big 4 and other known universities was unexpectedly called off. I didn’t do well at the CET for my dream university since I took it with nothing but high hopes and prayers. The outcomes weren't what I had expected and prayed for. In other words, things didn’t go as planned. What else can go wrong? But with each passing day, as I reflected, accepted, and embraced the result I didn't want to happen, I slowly realized that that’s just how life works. Sometimes it favors us, but most of the time it stands in our way to test if we are strong and resilient enough to handle greater triumphs and overcome the harder obstacles life will throw at our way.

"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us." - Joseph Campbell

That is what I learned from this draining and overwhelming experience. Ever since junior high school, I have been fortunate to receive successes beyond my expectations. I’m used to getting what I wanted, which I worked so hard for and prayed for. But with this journey, I came to realize that life isn't about happiness and success. Life is not always going to be how we thought it would be. But there is one thing that I'm certain about: things will always work out—maybe not the way we wanted, but the way they are supposed to. Maybe I did not make it to my dream university because there is another opportunity—much bigger and better—for me somewhere waiting to be known. Sometimes, despite our greatest efforts and persistent prayers, God will refuse to grant us something, no matter how much we desire it. And the best thing to do is to simply trust and have faith, for He knows what's best for us. Every opportunity we are given, every victory and success we experience, and even every failure is supposed to teach us something. And that's just His way of preparing us for something that is yet to come.

by mikaella tomagan

[mammseli]

BLOG 101

Ma. Elizabeth L. Soriano

STEM11-JOEL

Introduction

Hello, everyone! My name is Elizabeth Soriano but you can call me Eli! Long story short, I'm not new in on this app as Tumblr is what I can consider a 'rant-to-go' app where I rant stuffs and all. I have multiple of hobbies that revolves on the word 'art'. Hence, I love sketching, I know how to sing (lmao, not really a good singer but yea) I write stories in my previous tumblr account, I write poems and quotes and songs as well. I'm more of a cat person rather than a dog person. I stan HYBE artists (most likely BTS) I listen to international artists and songs yet I rarely listen to OPM songs.

Where do I see myself 10 years from now? Was my learning in SPUP vital on where I'm leading to?

I can see myself as a successful woman who lives with luxury, an ambitious woman who finally got her dream job, who is financially stable, who has a comfortable life to live in 10 years from now. Studying here at Saint Paul University of the Philippines gives you the privilege to study with good moral and active academics. SPUP had given me a chance to study at a school where I can enhance my skills on being a good and role-model of a student. I can teach myself how to properly behave, on how to be a Paulinian who carries the school's name. By learning here in St. Paul, alm the learnings that I did wouldn't go to waste as I apply all of these to where I'm headed to in the future.

Was STEM the best choice after all?

I'm not sure if I can answer this with a proper answer yet I'll answer the question, honestly. Mathematics isn't my thing, after all. I'm more of a literature girl--meaning, I'm more into journalism, books, poems, stories and such. I took a liking on watching debates and involing debates. I also indulge myself on politic-related medias or news in which I would give my opinion on every statement that is reported. Therefore, I would ask the same question myself.

'Is this the best choice that you've got?'

I picked STEM as my profession in under this strand which is Architecture. I am not sure with my profession yet I slowly learn how to adapt myself in this field. I would slowly embrace this strand and would accept my fate. Slowly but surely and as I took classes, I realize that this strand is suitable with my profession yet not only that, I learned many things and met wonderful teachers who taught me valuable lessons that is applicable and knowledgeable. By means, I met extraordinary classmates in which I grew accustomed with. Picking STEM isn't a bad choice after all.

What course will you take in college and why?

As what I've written from above, I wanted to rake Architecture as my profession. Growing up with this dream since elementary, I thought Acrhitecture is my only choice. I was too naive and young to not explore and discover what I'm capable of. When I was in junior high school, I realized what I'm capable of. There, I learned my skills in writing, reciting, and others. When I was in Grade 10, I was nervous and don't know what to do. My mind is in a haze, blurry and not quite clear. It shouts 'pick architecture' and the other says 'pick law'. I'm still a bit confused yet my mind is already set on my goal and that was to pick Architecture.

Well, I picked Arcitecture as my profession because of my father who was unable to finish his studies due to financial problems and for what he had done as a student. He didn't study well nor did he took it seriously that's why he stopped and got into job instead. He had told me once he wanted me to be an architecture and the naive little me, I said yes. Yet now growing up with a confused mind, my father was there to reassure me. He can see that I'm confused about my decisions and he told me that it is my choice and whatever decision that I have made, him and my mother will always be there to support me. Not only that, Architecture is a challenging course yet I took a liking on sketching, drafting and other things that involves art. Therefore, I chose Architecture.

[timextoxhajima]

Nevertheless: Wishful Thinking [3]

[completed] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

synopsis: why would the college flirt want anything to do with the innocent heartbreaker? a [somewhat] nevertheless au featuring tbz's eric son young jae

genre [per chapter]: suggestive material, smut *this series is a smut series so* please don't read if you're uncomfy. if you're underaged and you still wanna read, i'm not stopping you. i don't care because that's your responsibility to know what's fiction and what's not.

word count: i genuinely don't fucking know i think it's at least 4k WHY THE FUCK IS IT GETTING LONG ERJSJSJSJDNAKD

taglist: @from-xero @taeyongandfree @ten-gift @louvyves @sweetutopia @yyyereum @jung-breadshop @sunwoowuvbot @mashedpotittiess

protip: links of BGM are linked~

{this is a work of fiction}

eric swipes his thumb across his bottom lip and drags his index finger over the tip of his nose, tongue still sucking on his teeth as if it hadn't already been a day.

he was sitting on the other side of the tutorial room and you just so happened sat in a spot where he was the first person in your view when you looked up.

stupid hexagonal tables.

the moisture in your mouth suddenly evaporates, leaving your tongue dry like sandpaper against the roof of your mouth.

the lustful blanket over his eyes threaten to rip your mentality apart, and even without him touching you, the heat in your abdomen starts to clench and throb.

the thought crosses your mind, just so you can convince yourself: if eric can associate himself with sex within your primal instincts then the brain that got you here can associate him with a big, fucking, red flag.

you suck in a deep breath and hold it for awhile, eyes plastered to the ipad under your palms. crossing your legs tightly, your jeans hug your hips and waist all too perfectly.

yujeong had smacked one of her baseball friends earlier that day for staring at your legs.

after the likes of wooseok's party and the incident yesterday, you made it an effort not to show up in dresses or skirts anymore. call it ptsd, call it trauma, call it not wanting to get into trouble.

whatever it was, you didn't want eric anywhere near you.

well, despite how good he mad-

"can you stop eye-fucking him from across the room?" yujeong harshly whispers at you, glaring at you from the corner of her eyes.

"what?" throwing your tied-up hair to your other shoulder, you tilt your face to her.

"what do you mean 'what'?" yujeong hisses, nodding to the boy across the room. "y'all are fucking in your heads!"

"yes, broadcast it to the entire class, would you, please?" the sarcasm drips off your tongue with a frown.

"I'm just saying if you want him so bad then just go get a room. fucks' sake, go find a practice room or something."

"i think I'll go with 'or something'."

and in that second, your iPad lights up with a notification from the school email account.

yujeong parts her lips with a retort, but you quickly shush her by pressing a finger to your lips when the professor seemed to glance over at the two of you.

she inhales a deep breath, spotting the notification pop up on her laptop screen too.

to: all students

from: the college union

title: dance union winter getaway

dear students,

every year, more than 200 students apply for the dance union but only 20 are accepted. thus, it is of high regard that the members of the dance union utilise the annual winter getaway to bond.

this year's event will be held at lake white. all students in the dance union with leadership positions are expected to be present and those with valid reasons of absence are required to fill up the form attached to this email.

if you're interested in joining the dance union, please apply in the first week of the new academic year. applications open first week of the semester.

regards,

the student union

staring wide-eyed at the email with your apple pencil trembling in your fingers, you gulp.

fuck.

yujeong's lowly snicker sounds from next to you, and you look to her, only to watch a bright smile stretch across her face.

"what?" she snorts, tears in her eyes. "don't look at me. look at your captain."

your neck snaps to the boy across the room, who's got his phone lifted with the screen displaying the email page. he waves it around a little, raising a brow with a menacing shimmer flashing across his eyes.

your blood begins to boil without reason.

why were you suddenly stuck to him? it's like the planets and stars aligned just so he glue himself to you; so he could ruin your title and rip you apart, inch by inch.

your fists clench around the apple pencil, and you're only snapped out of your inner rage when the professor calls on you.

yujeong leans into the lockers with her books against her chest, mindlessly scrolling through her phone as you go on incessantly about the student union's decision to make it mandatory.

you swing the locker door so hard that it bounces off its limit and nearly comes back down onto your hands, but you stop it before it does.

"how does the fucking winter getaway improve our bonds?" you hurl a textbook into the locker. "it's not like we're gonna sit in a circle and sing hallelujah, right?"

"you went for that getaway last year-"

"yeah, and we did nothing besides getting shitfaced! fuck this stupid winter getaway."

"sis, say that any louder and your 'innocent heartbreaker' image is gonna change into something more like 'brutal heartbreaker'."

"don't fucking call me that," you hurl another book into your locker. "and why does everybody talk like that nowadays? 'say that any louder'? where was that from? a movie? a tiktok?"

"why are you so on edge?" yujeong pushes herself off the metal doors and frowns. "you've been on edge ever since wooseok's party."

"i am always on edge."

"what?" yujeong pulls her lips up into a slight wince as her eyes half into squints. "bullshit. what happened to your little 'innocent heartbr-"

"don't," you lift a finger, shutting your eyes and stopping her. "say another word."

yujeong raises both her brows, smirk plastered to her face as she readjusts her bag. "don't worry."

you look up at her, placing the last item in your locker.

"i don't have to."

"what?"

"so," then that godforsaken voice rings from behind you, and all your physical senses start to shut down one by one.

yujeong sees right past it, smirk turning into something less devious as she puffs her cheeks.

"about the winter getaway."

"i'll leave the two of you at it."

"what? no-"

"bye!"

"yujeong-"

she turns and strides off, short hair lathered around her neck. she waves with a bright grin, leaving you to back face the vicious heartbreaker.

you remain rooted to the ground, locker door wide open and bag slung around your right shoulder. eric waits until yujeong disappears down the hall, leaving a few other students within the vicinity to turn and stare at the two infamous dance captains.

eric walks to your side, reaching out and resting his palm on the outer edge of your locker.

"we're in open space," he smiles, gradually pushing the locker door inwards and closing it for you. then he rests his palm against the metal door, sandwiching you again. "there's not much i can do to you."

a few students turn to stare.

"unless you want me to."

"stop it."

"stop what?" he smirks and buckles his arms, forcing you to lay your back flat against the metal surface. "I'm not doing anything."

"then what are you doing now?" you frown and look up at him, knuckles whitening around your bag straps.

"having a conversation."

someone fishes a phone out, and the flashlight flickers.

eric whirls around, keeping his arm anchored to the locker.

"stand down, kid."

"sorry," he fumbles with the phone, and now you'll never know if he actually took a picture.

"anyway-"

"look, i don't know what kind of game you're playing but this isn't healthy for us if we are supposed to work together. especially with the winter getaway coming up."

eric licks his lips and lowers his head, smiling at the sudden cast of professionalism.

"it flatters me that you don't care too much about having fucked outside of wooseok's garage-"

"eric-"

"nor getting fucked out in the practice room-"

"eric-"

"or even the fact that you tied up your hair today-"

"i tie up my hair whenever i fucking want to."

"ooh," eric winces at the snap, his pearly whites glimmering under the lighting. "the 'innocent heartbreaker' is angry!"

"will you shut the fuck up?"

"aw," he coos, leaning into you and breathing down your philtrum. "make me."

your fists finally clench, jaws locked and temples tightened.

"I'll rip off your dick if you touch me again. now, back off."

you press your palms flat into his chest and shove him away, breaking him into light chuckles as he stumbles back.

you pull your bag back onto your shoulder, turning sharply and stomping off.

"hey! we still need to meet up to discuss the plans for lake white!"

the scent of half-painted canvases with acrylic paint washes through your nose when you enter your room.

it's definitely bigger than what a normal room should look like, but it's not your fault that both your parents work under Lee Enterprises, the country's telemarketing company.

the studio corner of your room is in a mess, and you're just halfway done painting the edges of your mirror.

which for specific reasons, you can't really look at it anymore.

the peculiar object you chose to decorate the glass surface hang idly on the corner of the frame, reflecting the afternoon sun spilling into the room.

eric son: so when do we discuss the plans for lake white?

eric son: i don't like to procrastinate

"'discuss the plans for lake white'," mumbling under your breath, you dump your bag into the corner of your room, huffing and resting your hands on your hips. "he's the damn captain, isn't he? he can do it on his own."

notification: acrylic paint to be delivered today

your phone automatically links up with the bluetooth speaker in the room, and you mindlessly tap on the shuffle button before pulling off your shoes.

eric son: okay so I'm thinking groups of four

you pull off your jacket and let the ends of your ponytail brush across your back where the camisole doesn't cover, cool air rushing across the hairs on your skin.

eric son: we can play truth or dare

the bass rumbles through the flooring as you pull off your jeans, throwing on one of those open-holed shorts that no one was ever going to see you in - not even yujeong.

the doorbell rings, yanking you out of your mental rage session over eric son.

acrylic paint.

picking up a cardigan and tying it around your waist, you jog down the stairs and pull open the door without hesitation.

She's just that type of girl

"what. in the world. are you doing here?"

eric tilts his head to the side, his eyes running the length of your body - all the way down to your feet and back up.

"you weren't replying my texts so i thought-" then he raises both hands from his sides, taking a step back and gesturing to your front porch like he owned it. "what better way to have your presence than to go to you?"

"how do you know where i live?" a frown befalls your brows, and your grip tightens on the door handle.

"it's in the school records for student leaders," he offers you a smug shrug, taking a step back to where he was previously standing.

your lips part in an attempt to challenge his explanation, but then he waves it off with a cheeky snicker. "I'm joking. yujeong told me."

"now, why the fuck would she give you my address?"

"hey, captain to captain! plus she knows i won't hurt you."

a scoff runs off your tongue. "you want me to believe that you won't hurt me?"

eric's tongue darts across his lips as he leans on the door frame. "not in your house. oh, i wouldn't dare, princess."

with a huff, you blink away the eye contact first, taking a step back and tugging on the door. "don't fucking call me that."

but his hand flies out and thuds against the wood, keeping the door open. he slowly steps forward, letting himself in.

"then what should i call you?"

"names exist," you step back and grip onto the empty arms of your cardigan around your waist. he closes the door, pulling the chain to lock it.

"then do you prefer y/n or 'innocent heartbreaker'?"

you squint at him, cocking your face at an angle as you back up again.

the answer settles in your head, but you can't say it out loud.

because he's already debunked it.

She's just that type of girl

"fun playlist," eric nods up the stairs, arm stretching out to you and snaking around your waist.

"don't fucking touch me-"

then his other hand circles you as well, his arms around you as he holds you to him, lowering his face into yours. an arching back tries to keep his face off yours, but any more and your spine would've snapped into two.

his nose presses into your cheek as he slots his lips between yours, and the world goes into a muffled silence for a few seconds.

or maybe that was just your playlist moving on.

your nails dig the inside of your clenched palm, fists against his chest as he pulls you up to deepen the kiss, lips moving with yours in some intricate dance of dominance.

on beat with the distant bass coming from your room.

he lets out the first groan, his hands gradually sliding down your back and groping the flesh of your rear that's poking out from under your shorts.

the harsh grip squeezes a whimper out from you, your entire body cringing forward into him and closing the gap between you. with one palm still holding onto your ass, the other comes back up in between your shoulder blades, keeping your chest plastered to his.

eric turns you around, holding you against the wall that leads up to the stairs. your back is flat against the surface, hair stuck to the felt of the wall with your thigh being pulled up over his pelvis.

We should just calm down and fuck some time

then he pulls away and huffs, lips hung wide open and his eyes completely lost in yours. in a low growl, subtly shakes his head as if to disapprove your disobedience against the song lyrics.

"oh, we fucking should."

eric doesn't bother waiting for a response before dipping his nose into your jaw, lips latching onto the tender skin of your neck.

"you coming here-" a jolt of bliss rushes through you when he finds a tender spot, his arms tightening around your waist to keep you close and against the wall. "-was not an invitation-"

the cologne on his clothes starts to intoxicate you like alcohol does to any normal person, the scent of his hair and his clothes wafting and shuffling all around you.

"but you don't hate me being here, do you, princess?" he mumbles into your skin, nipping at the spot behind your lobe. your eyes flutter shut, fists clenching against his shoulder blades.

"come on," he whispers. "we've done it outside and in a practice room, surely you must feel more comfortable in your own bed?"

your eyes widen upon the suggestion, the thought of that cursed object hanging over the corner of your mirror in the room suddenly pulling your soul back into your body.

"no, we can't."

eric pulls away from you, lips reddened from the nipping. they are apart, and his breathing slows as he studies your face.

the panic in your eyes is far too grave for him to miss.

"why not?"

gulp.

"you don't happen to-"

"it's not a vibrator."

eric raises his brows, caging you between his arms as he corners you further, chest on yours and his lips right above your lashes.

"perhaps a-"

"it's not a dildo either."

he pouts in slight disappointment when he can hear the stark honesty in your voice.

his chest rises and lowers under his shirt, listening to your breathing that hitches in your throat every now and then; observing your discipline to keep your eyes away from him.

"you're not gonna tell me what it is?"

glaring at him through the corner of your eye, you shake your head with a resounding 'no'.

he pauses.

then he leans into your ear.

"you being scared is just making me a little more curious, princess."

"curiosity kills the cat."

eric pulls away and slides his arms off the wall. "cats have 9 lives."

the number of sirens that go off in your head spikes, and before you can process his words, he grabs your arm and pulls you onto his shoulder.

"oh my god!" his arm wraps around your lower back, knees against his chest and the world from your eyes upside down as he hoists you up the stairs. "put me down, jesus christ!"

"the more you yell, the more you're gonna regret it, princess," he warns while chuckling to himself. "what could it be, if it's not a dildo or a vibrator?"

then the warmth of his palm reaches up to your shorts, and his fingers dig under the cloth of your underwear.

"fuck, eric-"

all too easily, he pushes a finger into you, your entire body cringing from the sudden intrusion. your eyes blur out just as he makes it to the second floor, and he doesn't need to ask which door he should be heading to.

not when your door has a framed portrait of yourself from last year's concert.

the door creaks open when he pushes the two of you into your room, greeting the sunlight drawn across the floor and his finger still buried inside you.

you heave a sigh when he pulls his finger out and shoves it into his mouth, leaning over your bed to rest you into the cushion.

automatically, his eyes are on high alert, scanning your room. but by the time you've regained your senses and the blood's returned to the rest of your body from your head, he finds it.

resting on the back of your forearms, your breath turns shakey and your eyes twitching from the sight of it dangling off his fingers.

eric turns to look at the mirror, turning the item in his fingers to match the painting of it on the edges.

"so," he returns to you, raising a cocky brow and smirking. "you get high off painting handcuffs on your mirror?"

you tightly shut your eyes as the frown cements into your forehead.

"fuck."

eric scoffs, tongue dragging across his upper lip as he walks towards you and lifts a knee to your bed, the other following.

"this really makes me question how you even got your reputation," eric jingles it from his fingers, his free hand reaching down to draw circles on your right ankle.

"it's just acrylic paint. i paint something new every month-"

"and so your choice for november was... handcuffs?" he wraps his hot fingers around your ankle and yanks you downwards, your crotch nearly meeting his knees.

"it's not my fault you decided to play this game the month i decided to get something remotely inappropriate."

"'remotely inappropriate'," eric repeats, smiling as he lowers himself. the handcuff still within his right hand, his left draws trails up your right leg, playing with the rim of your shorts where they were already riled up enough to expose a bit of your underwear. "so, tell me princess. why did you choose this-"

he holds it up and jingles it over your nose. "to paint?"

"surely it's not because it's pretty."

"or maybe you think it'll look pretty around your wrists?"

eric reaches for your hands and you struggle upon instinct, he pins your dominant hand down first and clips the first cuff around your wrist.

"eric-"

he finds your free hand and connects both your wrists, clipping the other cuff despite your struggling.

eric sucks a deep breath, then parts his lips to exhale. pushing himself off you, he pulls your shorts off first, eyes trailing across every inch of your body with your wrists cuffed together.

the thoughts wash through you involuntarily.

the wooden planks. the dress. the torn underwear.

the mirror. the fogging. the skirt.

the tears collect in the corners of your eyes even before he can completely get it off your ankles.

then he pulls your legs apart for him to lock them in place with his own thighs, crouching over your body like a lion devouring his prey.

he pushes your arms up and above your head, making it difficult for you to bring them back down with your wrists bound together.

his breath is hot on your chest where he first dips his nose into, tongue swiping across the skin of your heaving ribs. hands coming up your waist and pushing them up your torso, it exposes your ribcage and bra.

inch by inch, he breaths down the length of your torso, from your chest and over to your stomach with your camisole rolled up messily over your bra.

upon reaching the rim of your underwear (and heaving stomach as you pant and huff in a bid to calm your nerves), he stops and looks up at you.

"thank god you rejected wooseok."

then both his hands come down to your chest to rip apart your camisole, pulling it out from under you before he unbuckles your bra.

you swallow the first whimper already on the tip of your tongue, but your stomach plunges and your back arches violently when he takes the tip of your breast between his lips.

left hand coming round to grip your other, his right travels down to play with your sensitivity, forcing your body into subtle jolts with the overwhelming sensation.

he tugs on your tip, grazing it between his teeth before releasing it and latching his lips onto the tender flesh in a bid to make his mark.

your brows finally furrow into a frown of bliss, jaw hung agape though struggling to contain the lewd noises prancing about in the back of your throat.

he rolls the other tip between his index finger and thumb, sucking and kissing the reddening flesh of your chest.

and down below, he's pushed your underwear aside, thumb abusing your sensitivity and buckling your hips upwards.

he provides you one sharp bite on your tip, earning a strained hiss from between your teeth. it feeds his pride, for he removes himself off you completely and stares down at you, admiring the painting he's made on your chest.

hickeys.

grip marks.

and the wet patch on your underwear between your legs.

he turns and shifts off the bed, leaving you to catch your breath and cross your legs over one another.

the clacking about in your studio corner drives the tears into your eyes, listening to the lid of the box where you keep your paint come off.

you shut your eyes, resigning to fate.

for your body is in burning need and the discipline to go against his word has betrayed you.

you hear his belt come undone, the weight of his clothes hitting the carpeted ground before the mattress around your legs sink again.

"oh... princess~" he sings, coaxing you out of your mental begging that this was just a nightmare.

a corner drags across your stomach, and your eyes fly open to see his fingers wrapped around a bottle of acrylic paint, completely oblivious to him pulling your underwear off your legs.

black.

the only color that was still relatively abundant.

then the sight of his nudity drives you up a wall inside your head; better yet, driving your resignation up against your own skull.

the lines of his pelvic bone leading down to his manhood all for your eyes to feast on, and even if you wanted to look away, you couldn't.

fuck.

"listen to me very carefully, princess..." he shakes the bottle, then proceeds to unscrew the cap. "I'm sure you don't want any of these on your bed, right?"

chills run through your body when he tilts the bottle over, squeezing the paint onto his palms.

"so," he blinks back to you, eyes wide and cautious. "my advice?"

and with that, he carefully caps the bottle, effortlessly tossing it over his shoulder and back into the box.

he presses his palms together, spreading the paint across his skin.

"don't move too much."

with a wide grin, he smudges the paint into your thighs and up your stomach, sliding the paint all the way to your breasts where he offers a harsh grip.

he doesn't give you a chance to respond to that before he slides himself into you, your neediness allowing him entrance far too easily.

by now, your body was somewhat conditioned to recognise his size, but the idea of him buried deep inside you and his groaning coating the room makes you a little more feral; a little more insane.

the whimper that runs off your tongue is mercilessly lapped up by him when he leans over to kiss you, tongue shoved into your mouth in a bid to shut you up.

he rolls his hips back and forth, unwilling to stop and definitely unwilling to give you any kind of mercy when it comes to making you lose your grip on reality.

he pulls away and resumes an upright position, abs flexed and his palms still gripping onto your chest like his life depended on it.

but eric seems to be a little on edge himself, for this was his first time seeing all of you under him, instead of your humility covered by a dress or a skirt and worrying about being caught in school.

no.

now, he can feast his eyes on you like the predator he is.

not only does he decide to leave his own marks, but marks that you gave him access to.

his handprints are black on your skin and the entire bed is jerking along with every thrust he's offering you.

you finally let out a strained cry, tears collecting in your eyes with the bliss rushing through you over and over again like a broken record. eric's breath turns shaky, and his grip on you begins to loosen when his thighs start to convulse.

by some miracle, the last thrust hits your climax and he pulls out almost immediately after to coat the paint on your stomach with himself.

cream on black.

eric huffs arrogantly, taking deep breaths to retain his breathing as he releases you, stepping back to take in the sight of you in your own bed, ruined by him.

"you definitely look pretty in cuffs."

[kpop-dungeon-dark]

Sinners. (Stalker!San x You)

•TRIGGER WARNING•

Warning(s): Semi Non-Con, sadism, masochism, fear kink, hair play, head shaving, complete submission, humiliation, degradation, anal, camera play, piercing, denial, chastity, Psycho!San, twisted and dark fucked up shit. Read at your own risk. You've been warned. This isn't for everyone. It is purely fiction and doesn't reflect any individual's behavior nor does it encourage it.

It was early in the morning and she was about to go to college in an hour. But instead of running around having breakfast, getting ready and making sure she had her assignments ready, Y/n was standing in front of her mirror, eyes closed as she touched her pussy and touched an electric razor to her head, imagining what it'd feel like if it was on and an imaginary 'Master' was forcefully shearing her. Like a sheep. "Ahh... Master… please..." The girl let a whimper fall from her lips, having no idea that the curtains of her room were open and someone could watch her through the window.

"Fuck…" The man standing outside, behind the PCO booth on the sidewalk outside Y/n's apartment complex whispered to himself, feeling his jeans tighten. Taking a picture of the girl before switching it to video mode, planning to send her the photo later. It had been a while now. Maybe a bit more than a while. He was ready and sure now, unable to wait anymore.

San had to have Y/n now.

He had to claim her rightfully his. Or, he felt like he'd lose his mind now. Just watching the pretty girl wasn't enough anymore. He wanted to touch her, feel her, tell her, that he knew… He knew that she wasn't as innocent as she made herself look in front of the people that knew her. That she was actually a hormonal little dirty girl. And whilst nobody knew that nasty side of her, he did. The thought made the man feel powerful. In control. Like he had a claim over Y/n.

There was no way in hell that she wasn't made for him.

Y/n got done with masturbating and packed up before going to college, having no idea that she had a stalker. The girl spent her usual regular day at college, having no idea of the storm that was coming.

.

San knew Y/n were in class and that’s exactly when he wanted to send her the photo he took. A sick smirk made its way on his face and he took his phone out, sending it with the caption, 'having fun there?' He knew where she sat, a lone desk by one of the windows in this classroom, the spot he was standing in providing him a clear view of her face. Yes. The man had all the information he could gather about her memorized by heart.

Y/n was drifting off when she suddenly felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, peeking at the Professor sneakily, the girl took it out and unlocked it only to choke on her breath before starting to cough, making some heads turn which caused her to put the device in her hand away to prevent it getting seized. Her blood ran cold and skin paled.

What the fuck just happened?!

San patiently waited for the female to exit her college, her being earlier than the usual time today, however. The man grinned deviously as he texted her again once she passed by him in a hurry, his taller figure getting up to follow her.

'Will you give that show again? Would you like someone to shave your hair off? That’s what gets you off right?' It shamelessly read, making her tremble.

Y/n started to rush towards her house as she didn't live too far away from her college, not having to use any vehicle because it was barely a 10 minute walk as she nervously glanced around. She was quite twisted herself. And so, a dark part of her mind thought... things, making her start to shudder as tears welled up in self hatred. She hated the soft pounds in her southern region, overpowering the thump of her heart ringing in her ears as she reached the building and rushed in.

'What's the rush for, Princess? Are you so eager to touch yourself again? Tsk. Are you horny? Knowing someone is watching you?' San was absolutely sick in the head. Chuckling at his own text, he bit his lip and hit send.

Y/n was shaking as she read the message. Yes. In her fantasies this was… thrilling, exciting, pussy throbbing and she'd like to play like this with her top but… a legit stalker? She wasn't THAT fucked. Or so the girl belived, at least. Rushing to the curtains after locking the front door, the girl drew them while trying to catch someone's glance outside but no luck.

San had mastered the art of hiding as he watched her. It wasn't like this was new or anything.

Y/n felt hopeless. She couldn't even call the cops! What would the girl show them as evidence?! She didn't want to tell or show them this! Her filthiest desire.

The 21 year old was having a mental breakdown! All her savings were in this college. She could not run away, didn't have any friends because Y/n was a foreigner and the people of this country were rather hostile to any outsiders. Couldn't go back home because she had run away from there, which was a hell in itself, when she had received her acceptance letter.

'Aww come on now!' Her phone pinged again, and then again. 'You can’t keep the fun all to yourself!'

The realisation felt like a bucket of ice cold water everytime she was reminded of it. The person had seen her masturbating and that to the fucking… razor! They knew her fantasies and at that the darkest ones! She couldn't even text them back asking him who it was! The girl was simply too embarrassed to! What if it were someone she knew in her college or around the apartment complex!

It was a dark day and it started raining. Y/n felt tears streaming down her face as her heart beat never slowed down, more terror filling her as everything outside got dark and thunder struck.

Maybe she should call the cops... No one else would help a foreigner… She just knew it. Nobody liked college students especially that lived alone because they were 'reckless' and often lied to get a good laugh out of the elders with their friends. So no one really opened their door for a student they didn't know personally.

But what would she tell the cops?! They ask for evidence!

Meanwhile, San stood on the spot he had found. Even if it was literally the end of the world, he'd still be there. Always. She was his and he had to have her all to himself. There was no other way. The man wasn't exactly sure how he'd do it but he’ll find a way.

.

Y/n called the cops at last when she started suspecting someone's presence outside her apartment. Or window… she wasn't sure anymore. And the loud thunder outside didn't help her situation. Dialing the police the scared girl told them she was afraid someone was stalking her and needed an officer for security right now. i Telling them about the texts and deciding to leave the nasty parts out, she sighed in somewhat relief when they informed that they will send an officer on the way. The student grabbed a water from the fridge and sat on the couch, taking huge gulps while trying to calm down.

Finally.

It only took some minutes before there was a knock on the door. A nervous Y/n looked through the peep hole to only cry out in relief when she saw the uniform through it. "Oh! Thank God, officer! Thank you so much! You're here!" She  was overjoyed. "Thank you! I- I am so scared!" A weak sob left her. "Please come in!"

The officer looked around the house, nodding. "I need you to calm down, miss. Tell me everything. We are here with you." His tone was professional. His name plate read 'Park Seonghwa'.

"I- I have a stalker! I don't know how!" Y/n quickly locked the door after he stepped in. "Not many people like me because I am a foreigner! I don't know if it's someone from college troubling me o- on purpose or what... B- But they've been sending me some really p- personal stuff..." She looked up at him innocently, scared.

The dark haired man hummed and nodded. "Do you maybe know the number? Have you noticed any suspicious activity around you before? Is there someone who has a motive to do this?"

"N- No... I got the first text today... I- I am really scared... I've got no one here... W- What do I do?" She told him all of it, hoping that the culprit he caught as soon as possible so she could go back to her life where she was a nobody. No one knew her and she was just another face among many others..

"Alright. We’ll keep a close eye on you. Within this period, try not to hang out too much, yeah? It is best to come directly home after college. And call us on this number if you suspect anything." He wrote a number on a paper and handed it to the shaky girl.

"Oh... Alright officer... thank you..." She saved the number gladly. And since he was supposed to stay with her to ensure the girl's safety, they sat down and Y/n awkwardly turned the TV on. Oh she never had a guy in her apartment before.

.

After getting used to the feeling of safety, Y/n got up after a while, finally having calmed down as she felt hungry. Cooking some dinner for two people, she went and handed the officer one of the two plates. "You've been here since evening... Please eat." She politely smiled, softly blushing from the embarrassment. The girl was too soft, continuously thanking him like it wasn't his job.

"You're a true hero..." She giggled and sat on the other couch, totally not thinking about how handsome he was. Before a sigh left her as she was reminded of the situation. "Officer... What will happen to my stalker when you catch him...?" He knew her darkest secrets. "I am really afraid... They mentioned some... things... very private... things..." The girl finally confessed.

“Mind telling me those things, miss? It will help us with his punishment. The more detail, the better” he placed his plate down, grabbing his pen and notepad.

"O- Officer... I uh..." Y/n gulped. "I- I can't..." She felt ashamed

“Why not? We should know so we can sentence him longer in the court. This is not okay. And you’re a foreigner. So it may also come under bullying.” His tone was soft and assuring as he looked at her, concerned.

It took the student a bit of persuasion before she spoke, hanging her head low and fingers fidgeting in her lap. "I... I was being naughty with myself... A- And they took p- pictures from my window... A- And taunted me about my... p- preferences, s- sir..." She put her own plate on the table now.

The man only hummed, nodding in an understanding manner. “That’s such a disgusting thing for him to do…” Before the man continued. “You shouldn’t do those nasty things while your windows are open either, Miss… You never know who will be watching.”

Y/n was blushing hard as her cheeks felt extremely hot. "I am sorry, s- sir... I won't do it again..." She couldn’t help but reply obediently. Her sub side sometimes got the best of her.

Besides… The officer was so handsome... It wasn’t helping her situation here.

.

A few hours later when it was bedtime and Y/n went to sleep in her room after taking care of her assignments and on the work she missed at school today, the officer got comfy on the couch. He was going to be here until tomorrow morning. Unless something happened. The girl was so tired she fell asleep easily, feeling protected and warm despite the terrible weather outside.

It was really late at night when Y/n woke up to a phone call.. "Hello?" It was the police, informing her that the officer that had been sent to her house had a bad ‘accident’ on the way and whether she still needed an officer.

The girl’s eyebrows at first in confusion before it sunk in and her blood ran cold as the phone fell from her shaking hands. At the same time she felt someone next to her. On the fucking bed. Pure terror filled her and she slowly turned to look at the relaxed figure dressed in the uniform. A shaky cry left her as she started trembling, literally mortified.

“Tsk... The stupid cops ruined the fun.” His voice was nowhere near that gentle and warm comforting voice now. Instead a low and deep hiss filled with nothing but mock.

.

San's eyebrows were frowned when he saw the cop car pulling up. "Oh no... you did not, Princess." The male smirked and shook his head slowly as he noted that it was only one officer. Moving through the shadows, he pulled out his blade from the pocket of his pants, expertly swirling it around in his hand and toying with it like he usually did. "Now, let’s see why do you need the officer, babygirl" his voice was barley a whisper as he made his way over to the car.

San was always so slick with his movements, catching the non-existent sounds of his figure were barely audible to the human ear. Before the officer could even realise there was someone around, the male had banged his head against one of the entrance walls of the low rent cheap apartment building, dragging him into the darkness with him before stealing his clothes and then dumping his body in the river along his car.

It didn't even take him long. He was fast, accurate in his calculations and confident in his abilities. "Now, to my Princess' rescue" chuckling to himself as he climbed the stairs, pinning the nameplate reading 'Park Seonghwa' on his breast pocket before ringing the bell to her apartment.

.

"The real fun is only starting" San sang as he pinned her down on the bed, holding her wrists tight above her head. "You have no idea how many nights I've watched you touch that bitchy cunt of yours." His hard bulge rubbed against her thigh.

An astonished Y/n was trembling, warm piss suddenly starting to leak out of her in pure terror as her heart threatened to burst out of the skin of her chest. Oh no! Is that what she thought this was?! It took her brain a few moments to understand it as the realisation sunk in like a ton of bricks. "Y- You... You're... You..." She could only whisper, eyes widened to the shape of saucers as an evil grin made its way on his features.

As San felt the bed getting warm, he started laughing at the girl condescendingly. "Look at you! Pissing yourself like a baby! How pathetic and disgusting! Did you really think anyone would help you, tsk?" He loved how she was shaking, the glow of her skin caused by the little droplets of sweat, her heartbeat that he could literally feel and the terror in her eyes.

Y/n started crying, the piss not stopping as it pooled inside her thighs. "Y- You're... You're the... stalker…" She whispered, still in disbelief as to how he managed that. "H- How did... How did you..." Oh God. Oh no.

The storm outside was so loud that screaming for help would just be in vain. It was so late no one would even be up...

"Baby, just like you said… I’m the stalker… I know everything about you…" His tone was sensual as he started kissing up the soft skin of her neck, moaning from how soft and delicate it felt. "Fuck! Your skin is even softer than i- it looks…" San felt himself twitch.

The girl was trembling as she slowly put it all together, staring at the ceiling as a feeling of despair and hopelessness filled her. "Y- You were p- pretending a- all this time! You're not the officer!" Adrenaline filled her as she kneed his cock, swiftly turning on her stomach and crawling off the bed before rushing out of the room. Nobody could hear the commotion. It was too loud outside.

"FUCK! YOU BITCH!" San yelled before laughing loudly. He loved this. Finally something enjoyable in his once lone and bland life. Holding his crotch, the male after her to catch the girl before she got away, catching her easily. "Where do you think you’re going?!" A smack landed on her face as punishment for what she did.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! Y- YOU CREEPY BASTARD!" Oh she would be getting a lot of beating for this! "H- HOW DARE YOU STALK ME A- AND THEN ENTER MY HOUSE! ILL R- REPORT YOU!" As she reached out to my table to hit him with something, her hand so conveniently ended up grabbing the razor and swung it back, going to hit him with it on the head.

San laughed tauntingly and caught her arm before she could hit him and shook his head, sighing. "Now now, isn’t this the razor you were holding when you played with that tiny little cunt of yours?" The shiny object dangled in his hand.

"P- PLEASE!" She remembered the text he'd sent her. "PLEASE! I- I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT DON'T DO THIS! PLEASE! I BEG YOU!" Y/n had no idea what to say.

"Aww sweetie…" His words were soft. Almost. "Keep your begs for the time when I'll be pounding that dirty little pussy of yours." San held her hands above her head. "You like to be owned, huh? You like to serve your Master and show everyone how much of an obedient little whore you are?"

Y/n was crying harder now, afraid because she didn't know what was going to happen. "N- No! Please no! It's not true! P- Please just let me go! I- I don't want to!" Oh but she had a being kidnapped and raped fantasy. She loved the thought of someone dangerous, like San, terrifying her and fucking her, making her into his cockwhore. And he knew it. She wanted it all. The girl loved the fear and force. But all of it actually happening was something she'd never thought of. "Please! Let me go!" How could it? A whole fantasy becoming true?

"Oh please, my little slut! Let’s not fool ourselves here. I know you love the thrill of this, I know you LOVE getting used like a worthless little toy and I will give you what you want. You can try to resist me all you want but you’ll never get away from me. You're mine. I'll always catch you. You're mine and belong with me." Her eyes were on the razor as she kept thinking about the text he'd sent.

Y/n tried to reach out of his iron strong hold and snatch the razor from him. "Nu-uh…" San sang out as he held the object above him. "What if I shaved your head while I’m destroying that slutty pussy, huh? Would you like that you little whore?"

"No! NO! NO PLEASE!" Oh… But she felt wetness trickling down her leg. Oh no.

"My my!" The man chuckled darkly. "What’s this?" He swiped a finger up her bare thigh. "God, you’re such a pathetic whore, trying to fool yourself by saying no but I know you’re enjoying this. How stupid and dumb. Stupid slut!" His free hand smacked her face before grabbing her hands again.

"N- No! No! Please stop! This i- isn't what it looks like!" Before she somehow broke free again, this time biting his hand before she managed to reach the door, trying to unlock it but her hands were sweaty and cold, fingers literally frozen as she struggled to open the locks, cursing when they kept slipping against the metal.

San pushed Y/n up against the door with the most force he could come up with and pounced himself on her, letting his hard cock feel up her ass. "Don’t fight it anymore." And with that, he pulled her pj shorts down and turned her around before spreading her legs and pushed her up against the door, unclothing his cock and aligning his tip against her vagina before forcefully thrusting into her without warning before moaning loudly, throwing his head back. "God! Such a tight little nasty cunt!" San moaned and kissed along her neck, feeling like he'd go crazy from how delicate and nice her skin tasted.

The girl moaned loudly in pain, a warm stream of blood trickling down the man's monster cock. "O- Oh my God!" A sick part of her wondered if he would also shave her head and face... "I- IT BURNS!" A scream tumbled out of her lips.

"Oh… You were a virgin? Such a nasty little thing. Everyone thinks you’re an innocent little girl but in reality, you’re just a needy little bitch! Needy for cock! All the time!" He picked her up and carried the girl back to her room while still keeping his cock in her before plugging the razor in. "Come here!"

Oh yes. Oh no! Oh… She was having a battle with herself. Did she want this or did she not want this?! "PLEASE... S- SIR..."  Please yes or please no...? She didn't even know what was happening anymore. This was fucking crazy. Her stalker who had done God knows what to the cop and had entered her house after watching her for who knew how long. The stalker that had a private photo of her and she didn't even know how many other materials. And now was on top of her like this...

"Please what, babydoll?" San pulled her in and kissed the soft trembling lips roughly, loving how good she tasted and felt.

Y/n cried against his lips, the man's huge cock still in her wet and tight walls. "I- I am scared! P- People will laugh!" Was that the only thing she cared about?

"So you want me to, but scared people will laugh?" San smirked while pushing his hips back and forth, moaning with each thrust. "Let them laugh, that will turn you on even more because you love getting humiliated. I know you too well, baby.”

Y/n had faced such rejection and hostility her whole life from different people she had trusted with her safety from time to time… this was driving her crazy. Her messy emotions got the best of her at the end of it. Her breaths were heavy. "Y- You're right... You know me so well..." She started speaking his language. "Y- You want me? O- Or you'll leave me too?" This was wrong; sick.

“No. I am staying by your side and you’re staying by me. I’ve wanted you for so long... you have no idea.” He groaned at how good she felt, biting back the whimpers threatening to fall out of his lips from the pleasure. “You have no idea just how many nights I have jerked off thinking it was your tiny little pussy, hugging my cock as you moaned and begged me for more, slut.”

The girl blushed, feeling like she was dreaming. This felt perfect… at least to her troubled mind. "You're crazy... You're scary... You made me piss myself out of pure…” She whispered slowly, a small smile making its way on her lips. “...P- Please own me... P- Please shave me... my head and face... make me look like a dumb slut... s- sir... Your dumb slut..." Her shaky hand turned the razor on for him, pussy suddenly clenching around him as she finally acknowledged the pleasure it was receiving, a soft moan escaping her.

“Mmm... that’s my good slut” San hummed and praised, taking the now on machine and placing it against her hairline before running it down the top of her head, both of them moaning, Y/n from the feeling and San from the sight of the sight of now small bristles between her locks as his hips pushed in and out even faster.

The man now shaved off another strip from the spot besides the previously shaved one, humming as he remembered something and took the machine to her eyebrows first and pressed it against the skin, feeling himself hit her g-spot as her eyes rolled to the top of her head, mouth falling open as the male erased the hair above her eyes.

"Yes, s- sir! Please make me your good slut! I- I love you! I'll never leave you! Please never leave me, Master!" She started crying out of joy, kissing his hands as her unstable emotions made her feel absolute joy. He had accepted her as she truly was. In her darkest form. “Please write funny things o- on my skinhead when you’re done. I am a dumb whore!” To her, there wasn’t a man more great than him.

“Fuck yes… That you are.” San grunted as he started to shear the rest of her long locks like one would to a sheep. “You are my dumb little slut who will do nothing but serve her Master from now on!” His free hand landed a smack on her head which was showing up more and more, nothing but thin stubble covering the skin.

"Yes I will, Master! Please! Please treat me like trash!" Y/n clenched around him, near to cumming. “Trash that was born to take your cock! You're so good to me! I wish you'd snuck in my house this morning and raped me right there! I wish you'd have shaved my head and forced me to go to college like that! It would have been a pleasure to be humiliated like that and by you!” She was literally crying out of pleasure

“Oh..” The man chuckled while panting. “I will force you to go like this baby, don’t worry.” He promised as he snapped his hips even faster, feeling himself getting close from the sight and all her filthy confessions. “And I will wake you up by fucking you every morning, making you a mess and sending you off to college like that.” It was done, the only hair on the girl’s head slight messy stubble that he’d remove with a hand razor later to reveal the skin underneath.

"Yes, please! Please always only force me and rape me! Please keep me bald! Keep me at your feet! Please feed me your piss and cum! I want to be your hand and footrest! I want to be an object for you to fuck! A bitch for you to breed! Your little animal! I JUST WANT TO BE YOURS! I WANT TO BE THE DIRT UNDER YOUR FEET!" She was sobbing as she started cumming hard, her tiny body spasming in pleasure while holding one of San's hands because it was her first time cumming from sex.

Y/n wrapped her arms around him from the intensity of it and kissed him while he played with her tits, pinching her nipples painfully as he kissed the girl back and let her ride out her high before pulling out. “On your knees!” San kept pumped himself until he came all over the girl’s pretty face and mouth. “That’s my good little cumdumpster.”

She smiled and started to kiss his cock and hands in respect, then his balls. Y/n really had truly submitted. "You're perfect, Master! Where have you been all my life?!" A pout made its way on her lips as she whined, hugging his leg and kissing it, not daring to go further up out of fear.

San was satisfied with her behavior. “I’m here now baby… And I am never leaving.” He kissed the younger one and slapped her ass lightly after helping her get up. “Lets get cleaned, doll.”

"Master, I wanna drink your piss." She shamelessly told him, not standing up, taking his cum off her face with her hand and greedily sucking at it. "A- And I wanna kiss your feet!" She was way too eager for this.

The man chuckled at her request. “You want to drink my piss? Then open up, my whore.” San held his cock over her mouth before putting pressure on his bladder, whimpering before the hot stream hit her lips.

Y/n was obediently on her knees drinking all of it after cringing at the taste a little, moaning happily. It was her first time drinking anyone's piss. She was in heaven. She finally had an owner! The girl made sure not one drop went to waste. "Thank you so much, Master! It is amazing!" The younger one stopped drinking and let his piss wet her face before starting to kiss his feet, fully in her subspace.

“You’re such an obedient little girl.” San praised, not being able to hold back the smile as he watched her, never having imagined her willingly being like this for him in such a short time period. But then again, he wasn’t surprised. “Good girl.” He cooed patting her head.

Y/n desperately kissed his hand and grabbed it, starting to cry. "M- Master... everyone leaves me... P- Please don't leave me... I- I'll die!" She almost promised him, nothing short of a maniac. Maybe she was even more twisted than San, in a way

“I’ll never leave you, you’re mine and everyone will know that.” Cupping her cheeks, he passionately kissed her, already making plans in his head about how he will modify all of her features as his perfect little pet.

The girl giggled, sucking at his lips greedily. "Master! Your piss was on my face!" She tried to get it off. "Give it back! Ish mine!" Huffing, she lapped at his piss like a needy little bitch.

San chuckled from her antics and swiped his fingers on the pretty face before holding them up against her lips. “Open up…” He let her suck on the piss covering his fingers. “Fuck... you’re so perfect for me.”

Holding his arm like a child, Y/n started sucking on his fingers greedily, smiling. "Thank you, Master!" Before she made his fingers hit the back of her throat, making herself gag and loving it all. "Mashter Mashter! Whatsh your name?" The girl questioned while deep throating his fingers.

“It’s San, baby.” The man replied with a smile, watching her choke on his fingers, her warm drool trickling down his long fingers.

"Shan! Ish sho pretty! I am Y/n!" Letting go of his hand, she hugged him which was returned with a chuckle.

“I know, babygirl.”

"M- Mashter... I- I dunno why b- but... I- I shaw a video too a- and I want you to s- shove my shaved hair u- up my assh and i- in my mouth... a- and take picturesh... Hehe I am sho naughty!" His eyebrows raised as she hid in his chest, a smirk forming on his lips.

San patted her messily shaved head. “Yes. You are, baby. You’re fucking naughty but okay. Daddy is here to help his little girl with all her little disgusting whore fantasies.”

"Y- You wanna?" Before she chirped again. "Mashter I want to be owned like an object a-nd like an animal! I wanna be like a p- piggy! A- And I want you to b- beat me and whip me e- everywhere a- and I wanna be bruished! A- And I want to be raped all the time!" She was too fucking sick and twisted but now that she wasn’t afraid of being judged, she was letting all that was locked deep down out.

“If that’s what you want, then I’ll treat you like one, baby.” San said before chuckling to himself, still in disbelief of just how fucked up she really was.

"A- And I want you to fuck my bummie and not let me cum for monthsh! I wanna be forshed to wear chashtity! I want you to make me cry and beg but you don't give in and only torture me more!" She told him. "Pleashe alwaysh shlap me and my head!"

“Fuck... you’re so naughty baby… I love it.” San almost moaned from the sight before getting a chunk of her shaved hair and shoved it in her mouth before getting his phone and taking pics of her all stuffed and messily bald like that.

The twisted girl smiled in the pictures and eagerly nodded, turning her fat ass in front of him now. "Please put hair in assh too!" She struggled to speak, smiling and posing for all of the pictures.

San actually wanted to take a video of him shoving hair up her ass and so that was what he simply did, laughing. “Look at this disgusting little dumb cock whore! So slutty and needy! Loving to be humiliated and looked like a dumb fucktoy by her owner!” He spat on her.

"Yesh I am! Yesh I am!" Y/n spoke with difficulty, showing her stuffed face and head too, arching her back, imagining herself a beauty goddess of her own kind. "My lobely mashter shaved me! And ish gonna treat me like hish trash and look! I habe hair up my assh! And in my fashe! I've got no eyebrowsh!"

“My good little slave… All mine… So submissive” San praised, kicking her ass in the camera and chuckling at her squeak, watching her clench the hair up when her pucker winked. “You’re really loving this, aren’t you?” Lifting her face, he spat on her forehead.

"I ammmm~" she whined, face red before starting to try to rub her cunt against the floor.

“Look at her trying to desperately rub her slutty cunts on the floor…” He filmed it all. Fuck. He loved seeing Y/n all dirty and submissive for him.

Drool was dripping down her chin and boobs. "Yesh Mashter! O- Onwy fow yoooouuu~" a needy whimper left her.

“Mmm... yes, only for me” San spoke and slapped her hard which the girl loved, getting even more wet and kissing his hands. "I- I... cum pleashe..." She whimpered again, loving the control she was in.

“No... get up.” San warned sternly. “You’re not allowed to cum, you’re never allowed to cum.”

"B- But... M- Mashter..." The girl pouted and whined, having forgotten that she was the one that told him that she wanted him to never let her cum and torture her like that.

“Are you talking back to your Master?” Raising an eyebrow, he gripped her chin before slapping her, making sure it was all being recorded so he could fuck her to it later.

Her pussy tingled. “N- No! No Mashtew owwiieee…” The hair in her ass and mouth tickled humiliatingly.

"That’s what I thought" San husked and threw the phone on the bed before pushing her on the carpet again. "Tell me when you’re close."

"M- Mashtewwww" Y/n started crying like a little baby, shaking and dropping the hair from her mouth because it was getting hard to breathe.

"Did I say you could drop the hair?!" The man growled darkly before pushing the hair back in. "Breathe through your nose, dumb slut!"

The girl let out a cry, trembling and sobbing as she nodded. He was rough. It was making her cry. But she also loved it and felt wet. "Yesh!" She loved being at Master's mercy.

"Good girl." He said pushing her down on the carpet more. "Rub yourself nice and hard slut." Y/n started rubbing herself as he ordered, feeling the carpet burn against her pussy but she couldn't help but love it, biting her bottom lip through her stuffed mouth. Oh… She loved it so much. The girl wanted it to bleed almost… Reaching out to hold his hand, the girl spoke. "You're sho perfect... I wish I'd m- met you when I wash l- little..."

"I wish that too baby, fuck... I’d fuck you every night while your parents were peacefully sleeping in the next room…"

"Y- You'd fuck me when I wash a little baby?" This was fucking revolting and twisted. They were both utterly sick. Y/n kept moaning loudly and getting wetter, rubbing harder and harder. "Y- Your fat cock i- in my toothlessh mouth... AHHH... I wouldn't need miwk... You'd have fed me your Mashtew milk fwom youw cock..."

"Fuck yes!" He growled as he felt himself getting hard. "Yes baby… I'd feed you my cum every day. You'd have grown up getting your nutrients from it, eh?"

"Daddy... Daddy... You'd be my Daddy? But inshtead of miwk you'd feed me youw cum evewyday? Ish the besht miwk!" She was very close and her eyes fluttered shut when he started playing with her tits and pinched her nipples before pulling at them. "Then I'd say I grew up drinking Mashtew's cock miwk! Hehehe!" The girl was too far gone.

"God, yes! You’re such a filthy and sick whore!" San knew she were close so he pulled her up. "No cumming!" It made the girl whine loudly and she fell on her face.

"Mashtewwwwww!" Before she curled in his feet, calming down a little when he didn't give in and ripped her pussy away from the carpet. "M- Mashtew... p- pleashe may I wemove haiw now...?" It was getting stuck to her mouth.

"Yes. You may, my little cum rag." The male wanted to use her mouth and feed her his cum so he allowed.

Y/n dropped it and quickly cleaned her tongue and inside of the cheeks with her tiny hands. "Bleg... hehe~" she curled in his waist, rubbing her tiny head against his chest.

"Good girl~" he patted her head before pushing her back in position. "Now use that mouth good baby…" San pushed his cock down her narrow throat, loving how tight and warm she was, making her gag from the rush of it in an instant.

The girl gagged but enjoyed it, loving it all. She quickly started sucking his cock, grazing her teeth against it and swirling her tongue. Y/n had watched all that porn for a reason. Kissing his balls, she sucked on them, whimpering from how his private hair tickled her nose.

"Fuck! look at you! Sucking on master’s cock like a starved bitch!" He slapped her again, feeling his shape against the skin of her cheeks. "You love it, don’t you?!"

"Yesh! Yesh! Yesh!" She hollowed her cheeks and bobbed her head up and down his shaft, sucking and whining as San rubbed the top of his foot against her pussy, smacking her bald head before pushing his cock all the way down her throat, tightly clasping the back of her head.

The man groaned loudly as he twitched in the soft walls of her throat, washing her throat with his hot semen before cleaning her up and finally shaving her head fully until there was nothing but glossy skin left before they went to bed.

"I have shchool tomorrow... Mashter do you go to shchool?" Y/n yawned as she snuggled into San's built chest, whimpering and smiling whenever the realisation of who he was hit her.

She loved being owned.

"No I don't. I will be right here when you come back, my pretty slut." San said while kissing her softly like he hadn't unleashed his sadistic likes on her.

"Why don't you go to school?" She suddenly pouted. "Then how will Mashter have a career?! You'll be poow! I dun wan poow Mashtew!" Y/n huffed brattily. She didn't really care about that, only wanting to see his response because she loved to piss off her top.

"You don’t really have a choice, sweetheart." The male gritted out. "You’re stuck with me forever. If I am living on the streets, you’re living with me."

She opened her mouth to brat but the bell rang. Rushing to the door, Y/n opened it to reveal a police officer. "Oh... hi..." The officer smiled a bit at her and asked the girl if she still needed an officer and why she had hung up when they called. "O- Oh no officer... I was just being paranoid... It wasn't anyone..." Y/n's cheeks blushed because she could see the officer was staring at her shiny bald head and eyebrows. Feeling herself getting wet as humiliation made her blush, Y/n found herself wondering what it'd feel like if he smacked her on her head. The girl's nipples got hard.

But oh... she couldn't cum!

"Okay then, be careful, Miss." He tipped her hat, nodding a little before walking off.

Y/n felt so wet. "Have a good night, officer!" A giggle left her as the man disappeared, starting to rub herself against the door up and down, running her hand against her head.

"Now, what was that?!" San deeply spoke, pushing the girl against the door, making her head hit against it embarrassingly. "Did you forget who alone can make you wet?!" The male yelled before slapping her. "You sick little exhibition loving whore! Not even you can do what you like to yourself! You're all mine! Only I can do whatever I please to your whore body!"

"Yes... You... You sir!" Y/n closed her eyes and held her hands above her head, lowering it for him to slap. "Please hit my head... Ugh... fuck me up... I want my head to be bruised... Ugh fuck! I am so wet... Please beat me!"

"What a disgusting little trash!" The man laughed, slapping her head this time. "You love people making fun of you, huh?"

"Yes I do! Yes I do!" She whined. "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make fun of me! Humiliate me! Hit me and bruise me! Make fun of me! Humiliate and degrade me! I want my whole college to laugh at me!" A loud cry left her.

"Let’s get you bruised up, then." San decided and started slapping the girl's tiny head and face until it was all red and sore. Y/n was crying by the time he was done, literally sobbing as she just fell on her knees and knocked out of exhaustion, her owner carrying her to the bed and then laying next to her knocked out form.

"Good night, my love." The male kissed her soft and red cheek before falling asleep too, holding her fragile body close to his, his slumber calm and satisfying today after so long.

.

Y/n stirred as she felt her pussy being invaded the next morning, making her stir as she felt lips upon her own and fingers pinching her nipples as her other boob was being groaped, her pussy expanding and sucking in a huge cock. San's huge cock. "M- Master~!" She whispered out when her eyes flew open and she was met with San's face. "W- What… s- so early?!"

"I promised you I'd wake you by fucking you every morning, didn't I, my slut?" He grinned and attacked her lips, eliciting an excited gigglish moan out of her as he started to fuck her fast and rough, pushing his balls in all the way.

“Y- Yes! Yes! F- Fuck!” Her eyes rolled to the back of her head from the realisation that he had been fucking her in her sleep before she woke up, feeling him twitch inside her. “M- Master! I- I… c- cum…” Y/n tried to speak, her back arching from the pleasure of him biting on her nipples before smacking her bald head softly.

“Little breeding whores don’t get to cum, baby. They just take cock and let Master use them like the cum rags that they are.” San’s cock slammed in and out of her pussy, his hand gripping her neck for support when she clenched around him. “Fuck! So tight!”

Tears welled up in her eyes as her face got red from how rough his thrusts were, how much her clit was burning for stimulation, how much her ovaries hurt to cum. “Look at this hairless little whore! Unable to even breathe without my permission let alone cum!” He spat in her mouth before turning her around and pushing up her ass, chuckling when she whined out.

“Sorry, slut. Little whores don’t get what they want around here and only please Master as they are supposed to.” Grabbing a sharpie, San started writing on her head whilst choking her with one hand, pounding her harder and harder up her ass. “Hurry up and please your Master well so we can go to an important place before you go to school.”

‘I am a bald little nasty slut. Please hit my head. I love it.’ Was written on the back of her head as the man laughed, deciding to not tell her what he’d done just yet, waiting for her to find out later when the people on campus would be warming that cueball up.

.

Y/n was whimpering as San waved at her and she shakily walked inside her college with a bald head, wearing nothing inside her skirt as she sneakily pushed the slipping ass plug back inside her cum filled ass. Lowering her bald head now that she was outside and people were staring at her new look, the girl gulped and felt herself squeezing her legs when some girl giggled at her.

Fuck… She couldn’t help but bite her lip, loving the humiliation as her cheeks felt hot.

Master had gotten her pussy, septum and nipples pierced before walking her to college. He was going to buy a special leash for that that was going to be passed through all her piercings to ensure she was in his control at all times.

Her train of thoughts was broken when a smack landed on her head by a guy passing by before he chuckled at her shocked expression. Before the girl could question him, she received a text by San. A picture message. Of what was written on the back of her head.

Widening her eyes, Y/n gasped and her hand automatically grazed against her head. No wonder the piercing lady had lightly smacked it before Master and she had laughed at the girl. “N- No… you didn’t…” She whispered in shock before one of her ‘friends’ smacked her head, making it jerk forwards.

“Cute look, Y/n.” Before she walked off to class, the people passing by gave her looks and talked about her.

Fuck… She squeezed her thighs in utter humiliation as the wind blew, making her desperately try to keep her skirt down as wetness trickled down her thigh. The girl wasn’t allowed to touch herself and not cumming was one of the rules now upon Master’s order and her foolish confession. She had a whole day to last before getting home and begging him to let her earn it.

Her ass stuffed, body owned, everyone silently chuckling at her humiliating look and getting smacks to the head like that wasn’t going to help.

“Oh, Master…” She whined to herself in despair. “What have you done?”

.

[starshiningsirius]

Prunelle de mes yeux (Yandere Rook x Reader)

When I heard the love of my life liked poetry, 😍😳🤤.

"Oh Mon cheri,

You are the one I wish to strike by my arrow of love.

Once you were in my sight,

I became blinded by your radiance and beauty.

I want to sing my love for you to the heavens above,

So that you could hear me.

Dearest love you are the one for me,

You truly are the prunelle de mes yeux.

So, won't you please accept these gifts from me?"

As the poem came to an end her face was redder than the apple mentioned in the text. The words were sweet and heartfelt but what was unnerving was the gifts had been placed in a basket.

Quite a few of her favorite things were placed in the basket, from her favorite flowers in a bouquet, to a few of her favorite snacks. Not only that but the admirer asked to meet within the forest of Pomeifore.

So does that mean her admirer is really handsome? Only good looking people get assigned to that dorm. It's far better than having to go to Savanaclaw at least.

She's still weary about the situation at hand though, on one hand her admirer knows a bit too much about her and on the other hand it would be rude to not show up considering they did all of this. Furthermore she really was curious about who this person was. It was already a given how eloquent they were to write ths poem in cursive none the less.

A little bit of doubt sprung up in her.

"Pomeifore, how can anyone so beautiful from that dorm possibly fall for someone like me?" She voiced aloud to the slight breeze she felt.

She wonders if her admirer could see her love for the gift she was given. How unaware she was that he did see all of it a smile gracing his lips.

"Aw ma chérie, I'm flattered to hear you think I'm beautiful. Truly such an honor that is from a graceful mademoiselle as yourself. Not even the heavens above will stop me from professing my love and affection for you.'

A figure stepped from behind one of the old trees in the area surrounding Ramshackle elated to have heard her reaction to his gift. A good hunter always knew to conceal their presence from their prey.

He would have loved to hear her reaction in person, alas that isn't how he planned it though. He had to set a trap for her in order to confine her from all others.

But in due time it wouldn't be long before his prize for being so patient would arrive.

. . .

The plan was to meet as soon as it was near sunset at around dinner time as the note instructed. She wondered if her admirer had planned to eat with her in beautiful forest scenery that surrounded her. She decided to go in the end cause her conscience wouldn't let her sleep to know she didn't thank the person who went through such efforts to confess.

More and more steps she traveled deeper into the eastern forest of Pomeifore hearing few birds chirp occassionally.

'Head straight from the right side of Pomeifore castle where you'll find a forest beyond the small tower, until you come up to a flat rock. Then you'll find a sign from me there.' Simple instructions.

She saw what she believed to be the rock mentioned and stood there for a moment.

"I wonder if your already here?"

She noticed a paper sticking up from a tree settled behind the rock taped there. It was folded in half and had four words scribbled on the front.

"Prunelle de mes yeux." Was what it said.

'That same phrase.'

She opened it to find even more words scribbled inside.

"You've arrived and have yet to see me, Mon chèri.

I'm sure you're eagerly awaiting my presence, as am I with my overwhelming desire to introduce myself to your wonderfully bright e/c eyes.

But as eager as we both are all good things come to those who wait, as they say.

How about we play a little game?"

Toward the sea,

You shall go,

West from thee

Is where you'll find me.'

"West?"

She could see light trying to break through the foliage of the trees to the right of her.

"The sun sets in the west. So towards the cliffs."

As she walked past a few of the trees, she couldn't help but anticipate meeting this stranger. After crossing the threshold of forestry, she came to face with a sunset that was beautiful beyond words. She was so mesmerized that she didn't noticed the smile directed toward her.

Most definitely she didn't notice his footsteps, as silent as his true intentions.

"Enjoying the view, mon cheri?"

She jumped with a squeak in which had to pull her closer in fear of her falling.

As she looked back at her savior he found himself gazing into flustered expression, that was cute with a faint innocence and shyness that expertly glowed in Rook's green eyes.

She on the other hand noticed his hat that was about to blow off and fall into the sea. Which made her grab it before it could, slipping one of her arms out of Rook's hold. It definitely took him by surprise to see her act with care toward such an insignificant thing. His hold on her did loosen and she was able to get and face him with a reserved nature then the determination he had just saw.

"Ah, I'm such a clutz, here I wouldn't want you to lose such an important item just because you saved me."

"I'm flattered mon amour, but your far more important than some silly hat. Risking your life for something like that makes that beautiful visage shine even brighter." His bright smile definitely had her heart beating at a rabbit's pace not only that but his words weren't something you would hear from any normal student of Night Raven College.

The tone definitely matched the letters she had been sent.

"Your the person who wrote those letters."

"Dearest, prunelle de mes yeux you are indeed correct. Rook Hunt, a pleasure it is to finally meet you up close after seeing you afar." Even though she should've she didn't think too much about the last part of his statement only one phrase in particular.

"What does that mean, it is French right? You said that in your first letter, I recognize the common phrases of love but this one is more complex." As she finished her question she felt as though his happiness visibly increased.

He came a bit closer cupping her cheeks in his gloved ones, a subtle smile but with evergreen eyes that hid so much behind him.

"It means apple of my eye, I'm so glad you remembered that part." He was so close you could definitely see why his soul was chosen to be apart of Pomeifore.

Before she could take a second to admire him longer he had took her hand leading her about a few yards from where they were currently. When he moved to the side there sat a table, two chairs and plates, silverware, an appetizer and a small macaroon tower. Not to mention the small lit candle out of three in between, it was strange since the sunset provided a enough light already.

"Shall we commence our date then? How about we get to know you more personally and me the same?"

. . .

The date was enjoyable to say the least for both parties. She enjoyed his personality and theatrics while he enjoyed her company and entire being sitting across from him, listening to every word she said.

Even after the food was eaten and they stayed in each other's company. It was dark now and Rook had lit two more candles with his pen to add some extra light as he urged her to continue on with her story. The flicker flame kind of casted an eerie shadow over her companion.

Overtime she started to feel insanely sleepy. Yawning in the middle of yet another of their conversations. She apologized for the umpteenth time, as she believed it was because of her herself being tired. It was still rude of course though.

He found it cute, smirking with hidden intent as his plan was working. He was currently teaching her words in French upon asking for more terms he could teach her.

"It's okay, mon amour. You seem sleepy no? How about we get you home?"

The nickname still didn't sit in her mind in complacency causing her to blush. He had already gotten up from his place bringing along the candelabra closer to her face to extend a hand to her.

As soon as she took his hand getting up however she could her eyes automatically closing, and body shutting down. Before she could fully fall into slumber her legs were swept up into the arms of her captor who had placed the candelabra a far enough distance on the table.

Holding her in a bridal fashion Rook examined the unconscious female. As he gently caressed her lips and admired all that was before him in that moment he had her in his arms.

"Words enough aren't able to convey my love to you ma chérie for you are the prunelle de mes yeux after all, and one spell was all it took for me to be able to gain such an astonishing view of your visage." He held her delicately in his arms brushing away some of her hair on her face, gently laying her head on his chest.

"Too curious and naive for your own good, that is why I must take you away so that no one will ever taint that beauty of yours." He says with a calm smile painting his expression as he headed toward Pomeifore.

Masterlist

[novrium]

I initially just wanted to figure out how exactly it works with Grade > Age after it came up in a discussion with a friend since colleges generally don't exist in the standard sense where I live (university yes, college no) so I looked around the internet and got confused on how exactly it works in TWST because most sites said that people who enter a college are commonly 18+. Roughly 60% of the cast (Students) are between 16 to 17 though which led me to create the following things on a whim because I don't know why I'm now this invested in how the education system of TWST / NRC works but I kinda am (although I won't really try to make too much sense of it since it's a fantasy world so who cares, we're not here for that).

Might as well be a lil bit insane and hyperfocus for a bit 😳

How much sense it ultimately makes is in the stars since this wasn't made with the intention of solving anything but just for fun after I got a bit too much into it (but also pardon me if I accidentially mixed someone's class or subject up without realizing it, I started this about 30 min after I woke up).

Leona is the overall oldest Student (Lilia and Malleus not counting) but he’s still a Junior since he has to retake a year, meaning we don't know / have any Seniors.

Regardless of our lack of Seniors though, the thing is that the 4th year is wholly “studied abroad” aside from the cultural festival that's held in February where the Students return

Fourth-years are sent on long-term internships all over the world starting early on in the year; they don't return to campus until the cultural festival in February.

which means that

Cater

Idia

Leona

Lilia

Malleus

Rook

Trey

Vil

would be gone if we’d ever get an actual time progression but I doubt that this is going to happen for a variety of reasons, one being that we still need Malleus to be around so that he can overblot like everybody else.

What would be interesting to know though is whether Ortho would stay at NRC or go with Idia once he’d do his internship somewhere since Ortho isn't an actual Student and simply got accepted alongside Idia (we ignore the happenings of Chapter 6 for now I'm in denial of whats happening).

The next thing I wanted to figure out on a whim was who's classmates with whom since we (Yuu) are in the same class as Ace and Deuce and Azul mentions being in the same Class as Jamil

I didn't add Yuu in the list but their class would be " 1-A ; Student No.9"

And the answer is

[ 1-A ] Ace, Deuce, Yuu

[ 1-B ] Epel, Jack

[ 1-D ] Sebek

[ 2-A ] Kalim, Silver

[ 2-B ] Ruggie

[ 2-C ] Azul, Jamil

[ 2-D ] Floyd

[ 2-E ] Jade, Riddle

[ 3-A ] Leona, Rook

[ 3-B ] Cater, Idia

[ 3-C ] Vil

[ 3-D ] Malleus

[ 3-E ] Lilia, Trey

The last thing I did out of sheer curiosity since Vil's the birthday boi for today (and because "why not") is a birthday list

With this said, good day (or night) and thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[ryo-parking-lot]

Some random sheesh about teaching

"Don't act cool" - Nishikido-san

To be honest I took this by heart when I started teaching (and even way before Shige mentioned that lovely senpai of his) and have given up my lovely career in logistics (the truth is I am next in line to be supervisor). Ever since my first year (of teaching) up until today I never tried to act cool (well during the first few months I did but it did not end up the way I envisioned it to be XD)

However I look at it, you can never please everybody right? I mean some students do set up expectations, and when they seem to think their instructor is not at par with their 'standards', they end up challenging them... like seriously one time a college student, being arrogant as he is, went up to me (still in class), and told me "teach well!" in which his classmates were taken aback with such attitude... Since there is a law that instructors are not suppose to embarrass a student, I took it in, smiled, and planned well for my come back.

The next day, when he reprimanded me again, I told him "okay dear, please come up in front and teach us"

Surprisingly, this arrogant dude smiled and shook his head like some kind of dickhead... making him realize "dude, this is one deym hard job so deal with it!"

I've been challenged a lot by a handful of students from the past. My way of teaching, as I see it too, is quite unorthodox - others would put it as "unbecoming of a teacher."

"You do not meet their standards... hence they disrespect you.." a post grad classmate once told me. Am like, respect begets respect right? Do you really need to earn it or you have to show it first? Back then I got confused... like in order to be respected, show that value to others and everything follows... right?

Well, in all fairness just so I can still be professional, I do not hang out with my students. I may act sweet and friendly in class but I'm quite different outside the classroom.

If one would ask me why my methods are 'unorthodox', it stems back to me being a student. I realized that my teachers are no fun and that I do not look forward to my classes (except PE where I can play with my classmates!). Aside from that, their hard exterior prevents me from asking questions. Hence, when I was a college student, I developed an exterior of an armadillo and ask questions that needs to be clarified or recite when questions are asked - I kind of made a come back for that little girl from the past, I guess haha!

But then again, I came to realize, if teachers are welcoming enough to support the least, lost, and last, then who knows we can create a bright future for them which in turn can help develop our society. Isn't it amazing? I was wondering, if my teachers were like that back then, I might have pursued my original goal of becoming a nurse unlike now, I took teaching as my safety net - which up until now I cannot accept and in which I ironically seem to perform well too.

Now going back to these dudes who challenge their teachers, I think the best thing that you guys can do is switch schools - choose the school that is a member of the big league. Deym for sure your standards will be met (and would even go beyond that) because I do not really care about your puny little mindset of meeting your measurements if I see that majority of your classmates are left behind.

And one thing, if you got frustrations at home, do us a favor - STOP MAKING US YOUR STRESS RELIVERS! Like seriously... as much as we wanted to help you, let it be known that we are humans too...

We're only human...