#which isn't like a specific interest of mine but he'd be reading about it to see if what humans understood of their children

[lightningant]

I saw your thing with Snape being aro/ace and I wanna hear more about that. Specifically the reasoning behind it and then with the dynamic of him and lily :3

My reasoning is that I am aro/ace and he's my little princess.

Okay, seriously. He's derided a lot for being an incel, but what he felt was most important about his history with her is that she was the most valuable person in the world; that she was the new life he was running to, that he'd get a good job with Voldemort so he could establish magic supremacy so people like Lily and himself could cast off their muggle upbringing and flourish. He wanted to share his new life with her.

If we look at the memories, what Snape selects to describe what their relationship:

His fumbled attempt to connect with Lily over his magic, hungry for her attention

Him mentoring her with what his mother taught him (again he is hungry for Lily's attention) and his inability to understand her love for Petunia [muggles].

The splinter of Petunia and Lily's relationship, and the grounds of the Snape-James rivalry and what about James grated on Lily

Lily sorted to a different house, completely breaking down their dynamic

The beginning of Lily and Snape's splinter; that he has become obsessed with the Marauders specifically because James is in love with her, and she is frustrated Snape isn't interested in what his own friends do. Snape prioritizes Lily not being taken away over what she has to say. See above; he doesn't understand the worth of muggles, just fantasizes about muggleborn and halfbloods like them getting to shuck their heritage and go on to greater things. Very Fuck You Got Mine philosophy.

Snape repeating his worst memory on purpose. It is humiliating but core to what happened; he is the one in the wrong, he reacted poorly, he is the cause of their parting.

And a memory of him grovelling to hammer it home. She catches him out on his Fuck You Got Mine attitude; that muggleborn who love their muggle families and indulge their muggle culture are just mudbloods, but he refuses to believe that about her, because Lily's so smart and talented and superior and destined to outgrow them. 😬

So the purpose of these memories is pretty clear, that she had been very consistent while Snape kept trying to introduce her to his fantasy of a better life that she (rightly!) didn't think very highly of. When he loses her, he goes back to live at Spinner's End, wallowing in the world he was trying to escape, because escape was no longer possible. The wizarding world no longer had anything to offer, because uplifting her was so core to how he understood it. He just didn't understand her.

I think Snape's paternalistic treatment of Lily and obsessive attitude towards James would result in more signs of desire; in fact, he is at his most ravenous for her when he is like, ten years old. After that, the one who reacts with attraction is Lily, because she's flustered by Snape being byronic and hormonal at her.

This is all to say I just think there's solid basis to read Snape's love for her as platonic, and that not undermining what he is trying to convey by selecting these memories. I'm not crazy.

Narrative-wise, as in, "what does Snape's love for Lily being platonic add to the character": I do think that this is often a cop-out to make him a more appetizing character and rescue him from incel allegations, which is kind of a bummer because... I mean, he's obsessed with James Potter's sexual fascination with Lily and is paternalistic towards her.

I think it would upset him he's not attracted to Lily.

I think he would be pretty conscious that he is a boy and he is fascinated and enraptured with a girl, and how ~obviously compatible they are~ (🙄), and that should mean they start a romance and become more intimate, but...that desire does not exist. He doesn't want to date Lily, he just wants to... [vague gesture] have her. There is no way to process his adoration of Lily; the only way to make her exclusive to himself is not something he actually wants, but that means she can't be exclusive to him, and so James Potter is free to take her in ways he can't.

I'm even willing to assume Lily was waiting for Snape to express sexual interest in her, because every word out of his mouth since the day they met has been worshiping her and talking mad shit about her suitors. And I can definitely see a lot of her dejection and hatred of him as that like, oh, so its okay to consort with mudbloods, but you could never touch one.

Which he can't really refute; what exactly is the end state of being so deeply devoted to someone platonically? Not dating, nor marriage, nor "like a sister to me" (which is just a way of saying you aren't going to date, and anyway isn't true because he's never seen her in a familial way), an eternally open, hanging question of a relationship without a knot to tie the ends together, dooming them to eventually unravel. He wants her to love him as much as she loves her future husband. That's not how things are meant to work.

And he's afraid of it, but resigned to it, and ends up just letting it unravel. He doesn't bother to understand or listen to Lily, or express what's radicalizing him (when she told him off for being friends with Mulciber, it seemed to be the first time it's ever come up), or share his vulnerabilities, because he's always viewed her as an opportunity to show how worldly and wise he is.

And as an adult, selecting those memories for Harry...He's keenly aware of that, and regrets how poorly he treated her, and yet for all the clarity he's gained... that frayed, open strand of their relationship is still drifting and unresolved.

Which is, of course, nothing like how Aberforth or Aurelius experiences aromanticism in herringverse. See what I mean about these specific headcanons being an ecosystem. They're all chewing on each other to power their own hangups. Beautiful.

[note: this can all also apply to a gay reading, but part of the terrifyingly ephemeral nature of this dynamic is that there is no new direction to head in. There is no new catharsis that explains this more-than-friendship. There is only the fact of his love, which he nonetheless bore for a lifetime.]

A bonus theory on Snape's unabashed haterism; he is not really interested in Harry because he's not interested in Lily's bloodline; she was always a future, and now that future doesn't exist, so James Potter gets to pass down his superb genes and superb pureblood privileges and superb legacy, while unremarkable inconsequential muggleborn Lily Evans dies as the wife of a pureblood bully and a scar on her son's brow.

[love-takes-work]

coworker apparently thinks Garnet is Harley Quinn

A very old funny interaction with clueless coworker (whose name is blacked out in the blue rectangles), in screencaps from my social media when it happened.

And just for context, this dude just could not talk his way out of a wet paper bag. I'm sure it's partially just awkwardness (which I have never minded at all), but a lot of it was this really gross disrespectful PROMPTING that he would do in all of his interactions with me. He'd say something with no context, something we'd never spoken about, and expect me to "catch on." (Examples: "So! Any news?" "About what?" "Well weren't we waiting for an ANSWER on that?" "On what?" [scoffing, snuffling, shaking his head exaggeratedly, sighing and walking away]. Or he'd drop a paper on my desk. I'd ask him what it was. He'd wordlessly POINT at it. I'd ask him again what it is. He'd pick it up, sighing aggressively, rattle it around, and say "YOU left this in the COPIER!!" I had not left it in the copier and it was not mine. He would then holler about how is HE supposed to know that and stomp away, and then someone else would come looking for their papers in the copier and they'd be confused why I had them.) He did NOT do this with my boss or most of the other people we worked with. Just me. I guess because I'm the office blonde and usually the only woman in the room.

Anyway, he was in the top 10 of annoying people I've worked with and here is an irritating story.

And then another one a long-ass time later:

Transcript:

Pic 1:

There's no way he's a real person. C'mon, life, quit foolin' around here.

[Redacted] came up to my desk and said he wanted to ask me a question, and then hesitantly hemmed and hawed his way through false starts that sounded like "I was wondering . . . um last night . . . I was thinking . . . there was this thing. . . . So, do you know Amy . . . Quinn?"

I do not know Amy Quinn.

He seemed surprised.

Then he begins explaining that she's in some movie and he thought I liked her.

Sorry, no.

Pic 2:

But then he elaborates. "Amy" is one of the characters in a movie he's just seen and he thought I was a fan of the character and wanted me to know that he liked the movie. And further elaboration made it clear that he . . . was actually talking about Harley Quinn.

(I haven't seen any movies with her in them, but yeah, I know who she is.)

I asked why he thought I had a connection with her and he was like "isn't that her on your cup?"

****Fuuuuuuuuuuck I am so offended****

[Image of Harley Quinn next to coffee mug featuring Garnet of Steven Universe. They do not at all resemble one another, but both wear bodysuits featuring a red leg and a black leg.]

Pic 3:

You gotta be kidding me!!

[redacted] just came over and told me he saw something that he'd been meaning to tell me regarding my cartoon stuff. He fumbled verbally repeating himself and then concluded he didn't remember what it was and would come back.

Then he came back with "I remembered!!" and explained to me that he gets comic book-related events bulletins in his email and a comic store I live nowhere near is having a signing with a comic book writer I've never heard of. He was baffled that I didn't recognize the name because he thought I was "into comics." When I told him I have very niche interests in comics, he elaborated that it was something he thought I was specifically into. Several trips round and round the blunder wheel yielded the information that it was a writer for Harley Quinn comics.

This shit again.

He thinks I like Harley Quinn even though I have never read or watched a single thing about this character. He believes Garnet is Harley Quinn and I can't get him to stop misunderstanding.

[itsdrawingmen]

Zen CANONICALLY DOESN'T LIKE MEN, he remembers that he thought it was DISGUSTING that a SPECIFIC MAN came to his house. It's not homophobic but expressed disgust at the idea of ​​a man being interested in him, look up the data in the game if you don't believe me. This isn't hate, I just don't like how they drastically misinterpret the characters. This is something Zen would NEVER do.

Well hello to you too!

Where to even start with this one? It's been years since I've gotten an ask like this.

I'll probably start with stating the obvious: the mysmes canon is all over the place. Half of it is utter trash and Cheritz's badly written wish-fulfilment self-fanfiction. Half of it is inconsistent and self-contradictory. Half of it is obvious fanservice in every direction. And by nature of a game like this, it's different for every route. The canon is a mess. And you can draw different conclusions from it depending on how you read it, and how you want to read it. I could pull screenshots for you where Zen gets all flustered because of Yoosung, says he'd be his type and even says shit like 'gender doesn't matter' (even though, even in my books, he would NOT fucking say that).

Second of all, Zen's disgust over any closeness with men is DRAMATICALLY overexaggerated. Like, it's taken to the extreme and constantly highlighted. I have never seen anyone behave like that when they're *actually* confident in what they say and what they are. Rather, it reads to me like masking and desperate coverups. And as absolute horror of allowing himself to be human. And also as trauma response. I don't think I'm misinterpreting him at all. All of the conclusions I made about him as a character are firmly rooted in text. I take his reactions and analyse them. And my interpretation is, well, this. There are definitely others to be made, but mine is this.

And third of all... you are free to interpret him however you wish. I'm not the authority on how to interpret Zen. I'm sitting in my corner of the internet spinning my stories. You can sit in your corner and spin yours. Power to you! This fandom has always liked yume more anyway. Which is, well, understandable, really.

Hope you're having a good one! And I have yoozens to write and more yoozens to draw 💖

[timetravell]

Twas the first day of school, here is a little recap:

We mainly went over all the new procedures. Theres one about phones and if they have to take it up 4 times in a row you have to pay a fine of 15 dollars. And the dress code regressed?? No teacher is enforcing it though. We still have the same tardy policy (10 tardies = ISS).

If this phone policy doesn't 'work' then we just- wont be allowed to bring our phones at all Which is a HUGE safety concern.

below is a recap of all my class periods <3

1st period: Colorguard

Nothing much happened here, again a lot of today was just a repeat of all procedures. There were a few band specific things, such as attendance, rehearsals, UDB, and stuff pertaining to the band hall itself. There is now a form so if need be, your istrument can be turned into the shop to get fixed!

We also cleaned out the guard locker room/area. All of the costumes from last year got put in one of the lower lockers. We somehow found stuff from seniors who left YEARS ago. And 3 year old water....in a jug still.. yikes.

2nd: Forensics!!!

Im actually so happy I got to be in this class. Im looking forward to a lot of things in it. Especially the labs and that one lecture about blood splatters. Our teacher is actually absent this first week, but thats because he's also the volleyball coach. (Our volleyball team is in Hawaii for nationals I believe)

We had three assignments. One of them was designing a locker (mine is super cute, it has a Marina poster), the second was a Syllabus scavenger hunt which isn't due until tomorrow but I wanted to get a jump on it so I finished it at home. The third was homework, which was just a student survey.

3rd: ELA

It was just, again, more policy updates and a little get to know you card. This class, thank god, wont be all on computer. We'll have some paper assignments. We haven't gotten our reading yet (which upsets me a teeny bit, but I'm sure we'll learn about it later in the week)

4th: AP World History

I'm actually so exited for this class its not even funny. I was genuinley upset when we didnt get our unit 0 packets and when I found out we werent getting our textbooks until Friday.

We did learn that the AP teachers are no longer allowed to split that 70% weighted major assignments to 40/30. Which absolutely sucks, and on top of that our first unit is stuff our state says we NEED to know to get said World History credit. Which means we wont even be tested on it come spring. Our district hates us.

I actually have a good teacher for this AP class, last year I had a very (idk how else to put it) 'White privlidged' teacher. AND AND I narrowly missed being stuck in a class with someone I despise. Made me so happy!

I also learned that 'The History of the Entire World I guess' is pretty accurate! So I can use that as a study resource for like- a short summary.

5th: Astronomy

SO SO SO excited for this class. And there is no math! None! (If they added math it would have to become an AP class). My teacher is so funny unironicly. He's very monotone and you would think he'd be a bore, but he's actually really funny in my opinion.

We actually will talk about why Astrology isnt real which I think will be really fun. I dont nessicarily believe astrology is real, I like the idea of it. But going indepts on why it isnt is going to be really interesting!

We also will get to learn how galaxies and solar systems form, which will be really helpfull for making my story, Abyss. Theres also gonna be night labs!! (if we go we get a free 100 on a test grade) And maybe some Day Labs if the school can get their hands on a solar telescope.

6th: Geometry

It's geometry. There wasnt really anything of note here. Just the fact that i somehow have a class full of kids who dont care abt the Highschool grades. (I have confirmed this, it isnt speculation) It's gonna be a loud period..

7th: Band (they split it up weird)

Again nothing of note. EXCEPT NOW I HAVE TO LEARN THE SHOW?? ON MY FLUTE?? WHAT??

Im in guard, i dont do 'band' until concert season. I cant work on my solo during this period OR my homework. Pissed me of factually because the original plan was as followed:

Used as a study hall

Practice choreography

Practice flute

But nope! They hate me! /j

8th: Musical Theatre!

So many new people! Its gonna be so much fun! I have a lot of friends in that class so im really excited!

I already know the song im gonna do for our first solo, just gotta get permission cuz its technicly not from a musical (Wont say im in love from hercules)

Anyways thats it!! Tmmr will most likely have some more stuff so follow if you want to see!

[nekusstuff]

Silco x Lest hcs

RAREPAIR TIME

I've been shipping this ever since the second season came out and Lest appeared on screen and I've seen literally no one else even mention these two together (which make sense, they haven't shared a singular second of screen time) but I'm here to explain my headcanons for them and why I ship them!

This started off with me giving Lest an entire made up background story and it evolved into Lest x Silco, this wiki will contain the background for Lest and then it'll eventually merge into talking about the ship.

It's very tragic and doomed so if you're into that type of thing, keep reading.

Ps. English isn't my first language, excuse anything that's worded weirdly

૮︵⭒‿᧔☪︎᧓‿⋆︵

Lest was born to two working Zaunites catching them both by surprise. They hadn't planned to have a child in that day and age, they didn't have the resources nor the time, but when they realized, it was too late. A baby Vastaya was born in the mines a few months later, what seemed to be a healthy little boy, as healthy as anyone under born under those conditions could be.

The child grew with mostly absent parents since they worked endless shifts to at least give their predecessor a decent life, economically at least. This lead to the child having to grow up way too fast and learn how to be independent from the start, he was homeschooled, education was never Zaun's priority, but he was a responsible student, he read every book he could get his hands on and specifically got an interest for anything related to medical things and health, which soon proved to be quite useful since his father fell ill when the child was freshly 18. He did all he could with his knowledge, trying to find new ways to heal someone, but he didn't have the resources.

The child inevitably had to find a job, not being keen on spending all day in the mines, he promised his mother that he'd find something else. And so he did.

Ever since he was a child, something didn't sit quite right with himself. He looked in the mirror but never recognized the person staring back. He always found himself playing around with his mother's makeup and clothes, never knew why that's what he liked but never really questioned it either. That was until a new vendor opened a small vending stall close to their home, the first time the child and his mother went there to check it out, the vendor instantly caught the child's attention, she had beautiful bright makeup and clothes that wrapped around her in the most elegant ways, it was definitely a contrast against the gloomy zaunite streets.

The months went by and the child wouldn't stop hearing rumors about this vendor which inevitably led to him being scared to approach her, but he still had to go buy groceries. He had heard about how she was some kind of witch, how she had been born like a man, and just general complaints about her straightforwardness. It was true that she wasn't the nicest of people, but every time she'd seen the little Vastaya around, her eyes softened, like she saw something in him, like how she'd constantly catch him staring at her, not as the other people around who only stared to judge and speak about how "horrendous" her looks were, but as a sign of curiosity, of admiration, of inspiration.

One day while the child was paying, she stopped before grabbing his money and instead leaned in to speak to him. She told him to not shut down those voices in the back of his mind that begged him to explore more about himself and then made him keep the money, telling him to buy something nice for himself with it instead. With ears flipped downward he slowly nodded and then scurried away.

He did as he was told, he bought himself a long purple fur scarf, had to haggle for it but he got it. As soon as he came back home he put it around his neck and head and then did his makeup as he usually did. With his hair covered like that, it gave the impression to be longer, and for once, the little Vastaya saw a glimpse of who she truly was.

Lest let her hair grow and started working at one of the brothels in town, taking advantage of the men that would pay top coin for a night with a lady like her. With that she was able to let her mother stop working and start taking care of her father full time, in the meantime, she also started investigating about shimmer. It was a new drug she had heard about around the brothel millions of times and rumor had it that it had some amazing healing properties if used correctly. Lest didn't waste time and started investigating as much as she could about it, hoping to somehow find a cure for her father but the resources were starting to lower with the whole Zaun revolution thing going on and she didn't have the equipment to properly do her tests.

[I can imagine Lest being a burlesque performer]

Sadly, she wasn't fast enough, her father passed away and her and her mother were left devastated. She couldn't waste time on tears though, she had to keep working for her mother, and this only impulsed her desire to research shimmer so she could save lives, the state and time she was living in pleaded for it.

Months went by and she managed to stir up some shimmer solution that would be able to treat wounds, it wasn't all that strong but it was something, men didn't only came by for pleasure anymore, they also came for medical help and Lest was delighted.

The Silco x Lest starts here

Word quickly spread and a certain someone appeared in her brothel's room one day. The man had big scaring around his, what seemed to be, blind eye, this man was Silco. He asked for her help to treat his eye and in exchange of a sum of money, she soon became his usual go to nurse. Now and then, Lest would be performing before her appointments with Silco, meaning sometimes she was late to those appointments but Silco would still show up and catch a part of the show, between this and the amount of time they both spent together started generating some feelings between the two that they couldn't even admit to themselves. Lest put the excuse that he was merely another client and she knew from experience, getting attached to a client never led to anything good. And Silco put up a similar excuse, that Lest was only being nice for the money, that exchange was everything that held then together.

And so, after some drunken nights where Lest convinced Silco to stop being such a stuck up for a day and have some fun, a cute situationship blossomed.

As Silco's power grew, so did his seriousness, his visits to the brothel ceased, both because he didn't want to be seen around a place like that and because he had gotten himself a nice place to operate. Lest was invited to join him, she could work as a spy for him given her hearing abilities and natural charm while still being Silco's doctor, and she agreed leaving the brothel aside, but Silco wasn't the only one whose demeanor had changed, the experiences she had lived with getting in trouble about shimmer and the brothel itself had taught him how to be more secretive, more centered in her work. She became more of a listener than a talker but her silver tongue never really disappeared, it was just that now it wasn't used to boost up the egos of the brothel's clientele but to get herself information she might need.

Working with Silco, who had become the main distributor of shimmer in Zaun was extremely helpful, she could continue her research, this time with way better materials. Although her relationship with Silco faltered, their personalities often crashed against each other making them have constant fights. Lest didn't know at which point Silco got like this and she hated it, mainly because it also made her notice how she herself had also changed overtime.

Eventually Silco brought Powder in. Lest had mixed feelings about her, mainly jealousy seeing how Silco went soft for her so quickly, but at the same time, every time she saw them interacting, she saw that awkward and sweet boy who came every night to get his eye checked. The nostalgia was more than she could bare and once Jinx got old enough to cure Silco's eye herself, Lest left without a word, knowing well she wasn't needed around anymore, they would take care of each other.

Silco wasn't happy about this, appearing to be furious about Lest's disappearance when in reality he was worried, terrified of not having her by his side, you never realize how much someone matters to you until you lose them as they say.

Lest was a smart woman, she knew how to get around, and she managed to pry herself into Piltover, her hearing abilities once more proving to be as useful as her healing ones. She started treating people in Piltover while listening in to more than she should to then sell any information she got, just like she did when she worked with Silco. Eventually she met Mel, she also worked for her for a while and they seemingly clicked well quickly, and we all know where that led ✨another situationship✨ that ended up with Lest rejecting Mel because of her own trust issues.

When Lest found out about Silco's death she was devastated, she had been thinking about reaching out again, never actually doing so out of pure fear of the other's reaction "it's been a long time, would he even recognize me?" "If he does he probably doesn't want me anywhere near him."

But just like with his father, she wasn't fast enough, not brave enough, and now she would never see him again.

After this, the events on S2 happen, so there's not much more to explain.

૮︵⭒‿᧔☪︎᧓‿⋆︵

They make me violently ill, I didn't want to make this post too long so I didn't go into much detail about Silco and Lest's relationship, just wanted to finally write this idea down cause it's been on my mind FOR SO LONG, procrastination is a bitch.

If I see people are actually interested in this delusion of mine I'll make a separate post with short headcanons, basically me yapping about certain scenarios I see them having and such.

And that was it! If you read all of this, thank you so much!!!! Makes me really happy that you actually took the time to read all that lolz,

See you around!

[bcbdrums]

Given the fact that we were talking about our perceptions of certain kinds of ships in regards to Stein and how they suit or do not suit his character, how do you feel about smut/the relationship dynamics within Stein x character smut fics?

All righty then...! Here comes a very long rambling of my headcanons about Stein, his two primary relationships, and his relationship with those deeper intimacies. This takes some turns before it gets to the main point but well, I love talking about this man. Extremely long post under the cut.

Also - there are two blogs I tag at the very end of this post - you two feel free to ignore all my ramblings, just know I praise you both at the end and I still re-read your Soul Eater stories VERY regularly.

I'm truthfully still trying to reorganize my thoughts on this specific topic because 1) I have listened to many a headcanon from others on the subject and I always try to give validity to their thoughts even when they differ from mine, and 2) I've also read tons of smut fic with Stein out of sheer desperation for...well, Stein fic. (Come on Stein fandom where you at? Write me some gen fic too, lol)

I have not read too many fics of him with Marie cuz those always contain manga spoilers so I'm skipping those for now until I finish reading (exactly halfway through!). So what I've read is mostly Stein/Spirit smuts and just a couple with Marie, and I want to say….almost zero?? I think zero of those fics (and boy I've read plenty) have "hit the spot" in terms of what I would want for a Stein smut. They're good stories, in some cases great stories, well-written and thoughtfully conceived, but they're not fitting my headcanons and interpretations of who I see onscreen (and who I see in the manga so far).

All that said now… Some of my own relevant headcanons for him, and then I'll get more into fic of others.

I go back and forth toying with the idea that Stein experimented with intimacy just a little as a teen. He's not immune to puberty and hormones; he's human whether he likes it or not, which isn't to say mind over matter doesn't work for him. (Clearly it does, in staving off madness among other things.) But he's a scientist. He's curious. And I can see him justifying an experiment or two in his teen years. But they would in fact be just that, experiments. It's still a big maybe. I can't say for certain he would, it's the sort of thing like…if all the dots line up just right, he'd attempt it. If not, he wouldn't. And it would only be with those two people: Marie and/or Spirit. He doesn't trust anyone else enough. (Yes, I'm on board with the popular fanon that Marie was one of his other weapon partners after Spirit.)

Another teen headcanon... I can also easily see a sort of angsty distraction possibility for him. When he loses Spirit to Kami, I can see him getting into a "romantic" relationship with Marie as sheer distraction, and even misguided retaliation. Spirit "cheated" on him with another meister and abandoned him, so why shouldn't he do the same with another weapon? Which sucks for Marie but well she's not healthy about relationships any more than Stein or Spirit are. But this is just another sort of maybe-thought; another situation where all the dots would have to line up just right for him to go for it. But I can see it, no question, just like the prior thought.

As for Stein as an adult, at the point we see him in the show… While I think relationally he and Spirit have the most interesting dynamic to explore, the one he shows more openness toward is Marie. It's clear that he cares for her. And he doesn't fully understand that either. Now I don't think he wants to get into bed with her, or marry her, or anything traditional to a romance. But I also don't think Marie is going anywhere. Thinking post-anime now…. Unless he gives her a sign that there is nothing between them, I think she's staying put. But sadly for her, I think there is something between them... Sadly because, Stein doesn't know what it is, and it's not "love" the way that Marie wants it. It's just something he's unfamiliar with. Meanwhile she's devoted to him, poor woman.

Now, end of the anime… Let's talk about this…. Marie helps him back to sanity with her healing wavelength. But…then he's just "okay"? No he isn't. Look at that man. His dark circles are darker, his eyes are more haunted. That man has been living off madness and cigarettes for weeks. When is the last time he ate anything? Showered? Legitimately got any sleep?? How he's even standing up let alone fighting Medusa is beyond me, and then he performs freaking major surgery and then waltzes into the death room afterward like he's fine. Because...that's who Stein is.

Stein will fight until he is incapable of fighting anymore, to serve those he loves. Yes I said loves. And it is agonizing how much he strives to show his love for others, and it's something he doesn't even realize he has within him. He thinks he can't understand love? It's because he feels it so deeply and passionately it's beyond definition. Part of this however I'm also certain is motivated from his deep desire for purpose as an adult. The manga shows that aspect of his character even more-so than the anime (in what I've read so far). That man is desperate for purpose and to belong somewhere, with someone. He can't escape his human nature even if he doesn't understand it, can't define it, and even though it drives him crazy all on its own…

So bringing this back to Marie… End of the anime. I don't think Marie is leaving. She's gonna stay, help nurse Stein back to health and sanity despite his pretending he's fine (or perhaps even sheer ignorance of his condition), and Stein…is gonna be confused the whole dang time about his feelings for Marie. He knows he feels something but he has no idea what it is or how to process it. But "love" in the romantic sense he doesn't possibly consider, because well...his conceptions of that sort of thing aren't based in anything healthy (see: Spirit's relationships).

So yeah… She's not leaving. He won't reject her attentions because he does care about her, just not in a way he understands and also not in the way she wants. And as she starts to realize that he has some kind of feeling for her, I think she'd turn up the romance and she'd make a move on him. OR…she'd play the extremely...long...patient game, and wait for him to make a move on her, when it's within his comfort zone. And let me be clear… This man still does not know what love is in this traditional sense, does not understand love. He knows what physical attraction and hormones are and darn him he can't shake those either, but as an adult he wouldn't act impulsively on them nor would he confuse them with love. Stein is the ultimate master of mind over matter. If he were to sleep with her, it would be a choice; a decision he makes consciously and deliberately. I see this within the realms of possibility. But if he chooses it himself, if he's the one who makes that decision simply out of his wanting to…it would be a long, long time that that woman is waiting for him. But I do think it possible. The question is simply, how long will she wait. And she's also the type to try to stir things up (see: her behavior toward Joe in the manga). So who knows when they may end up in bed together... These dots are more complicated to align than those of his teenage years. And if Marie made the move first...I think he'd accept it. Because, see again, his wanting to belong with someone, and he knows he feels something different with Marie.

As for Spirit, well... Stein sees that Spirit likes women. And Stein sees that Spirit can't commit. I think Stein "loves" Spirit more than he loves Marie. First love, young love... Spirit is the relationship of his life, even though that's yet another thing he cannot possibly understand. I think that while part of him, the mad obsessive part, and the curious part, does want to be close to Spirit in the intimate way…it's not out of a healthy desire or even typical motivations. It would come from a desire to possess, from his deeply human but inexplicable yearning to be closer to the one he loves even though it's not the right type of love for that type of intimacy. Not really sure Spirit would be all-in if Stein were to make the move... I think Spirit would take persuading. It's another circumstance where all the dots have to line up just right, and in this case probably more while caught up in madness than in sanity. Because as previously mentioned… In his right mind, Stein knows that Spirit likes women and more importantly that Spirit cannot commit. And he's ironically smart enough to know not to attempt a traditional human romance with someone who cannot commit. I don't think Stein would himself attempt intimacy with Spirit in his right mind at all, unless something happened to make him utterly desperate not to lose the man... Another instance of, all those dots have to connect.

But ugh, the angst. Spirit abandoned him after five years... Stein is not going to willingly subject himself to possible heartbreak again. Plus, he does not think Spirit has forgiven him for the "experiments." I think he thinks Spirit only hangs around him now as an adult as his handler, despite desperately wanting his friendship again. But I think he figures it's a lost cause so he just takes what is offered and never pursues more.

Okay but before I digress further into my endless thoughts about Stein's and Spirit's relationship (I'll do another post for that maybe), back to the point of your question.

I am really not one for labels, partially because I don't understand them but also because I think the spectrum is just so deep and too much defies definition. But if I were to label him, I guess I'd go with...gray ace with demi leanings…?

The man is driven only by curiosity, about anything and everything. But the level of intimacy we're talking about is more than he ever wants to trust anyone with. It's always gotta be on his terms, and more often than not…his terms would be unhealthy.

So let's talk about what shows up in fanfic, since that was what the original question was about. And once again, I like to lend validity to everyone's interpretation. Just because it isn't mine doesn't mean it's wrong or shouldn't exist. But you did ask about MY thoughts, so that's what I'm sharing here.

Once again, I've barely touched Stein/Marie fic because I'm avoiding manga spoilers. In the one or two I've seen, he comes across as not connecting emotionally in the typical way, but knowing that there is indeed something different about being with her. He knows she cares about him, and he cares in return. But it doesn't come across as anything intimate on his side of it. This isn't a characterization I particularly like, because Stein as an adult... As I said, I think he'd choose that intimacy if and when he wants it. In the stories, it comes across more as him just doing her a favor, just going along. It doesn't sit right. But like I said, that's only two stories. For other Stein/Marie, I reserve opinion for later.

Stein/Spirit... Okay. I've noticed a great many commonalities in the fics I've read. And this isn't a taste or preference thing; like I said I have devoured almost every smut fic just in desperation for any fanfic of them. Would prefer more gen fic less smut personally, but anyway.

Most fics have Stein in the dominant role, Spirit in the submissive role. I understand that interpretation but it's not how I see them. I see them as equals if they were to get into that type of intimacy. There is often a lot of bloodplay, frequently madness on Stein's part, major instances of non-con, pet play, BDSM, sometimes light cannibalism... It all suggests an impersonal and unhealthy relationship most of the time, which again...is not at all how I see them if they were to become a couple. Could such things come about? Unhealthily, possibly. But darn me and my desire for happy endings.

These two men are so broken, that if they were to become a healthy couple...I feel like it would be slow, cautious...extremely hesitant. There is extreme distrust on both sides, and also misconceptions about how the other feels. Which...I will save that analysis for later. Focusing back on smut fic.

I have seen only a few that touch on the give and take in a trusting relationship (all by the same author) that come closest to what I feel is accurate to the characters onscreen as I see them, but still the emphasis is too much on lust. It still isn't hitting the spot for me due to a lack of that relational development... Make no mistake, the stories are great, but I personally am hoping for something much deeper.

In my view, Stein just does not seek out physical intimacy in that way. I don't think he can fully escape the innate human need for touch, but in terms of a drive to get into bed with anyone... I think the occasional human desire for it crops up, and he easily ignores it/packs it away because it's not useful to him. It doesn't bother him. He doesn't think about it.

So this is where that...gray-ace, demi vibe comes into play for my view of him. Talking about Stein here as an adult and in control of himself, not consumed by madness... This is I supposed a bit of a summation of my thoughts.

If he did get into a relationship with anyone (and again I think his only choices are Spirit and Marie), it would not be based on the physical at all. I also don't think he would rush into any relationship. It would be a long process before he trusted the person enough to consider them a romantic partner. And really, we could get away from the word romance entirely... Life-partner is a better word, in Stein's case. If the person wanted physical intimacies, I think he would be responsive to that. The other person would be in the lead, but in no way dominating. It would have to be an equal trust thing or else Stein would nope out hard. Stein would gradually learn what it is he likes physically, and how to give his partner what they want. He can come to enjoy it because this is his life-partner, the one he belongs with, the one who needs him and is part of his purpose. But again...the physical is not something that drives him at all. Not in how I see him portrayed onscreen or in the manga.

So, overall, in my point of view nearly all smut fics miss the mark. Now...the stories I've seen where I think the physical intimacy is nailed don't even get to smut. Those are the stories by @asymmetryestablished (AO3 NothingSoDivine) and their characterizations of Stein and Spirit defy description in any words I have. The other author who nails it is @wispforever (same on AO3) and the closest to physical intimacy they get is dancing, but my gosh still the characterizations are utter perfection. I will be re-reading y'all's Stein/Spirit stories forever.

I hope I did in fact answer your question, but overall, I was delighted to just spill out so many of my thoughts about Stein even if in summary form. Yes this was a summary... Okay. I'm done. Thanks.

[wishing-stones]

I’ve written myself into a corner for an idea I’ve had for a while, but never seen nor managed to fully attempt. I seen stories of mage!readers, but never any of well, the mages. The ones that sealed away monsters, the seven. And I had the idea to add Baggs, but I’ve generally hit a brick wall because??? I’m not sure how’d he respond? I mean, typically someone as intriguing as a mage would catch his radar, but we’re talking the literal reason in most multiverses including his own, why monsters are trapped underground? Do you have any helpful suggestions or insights?

Weeeellll, this is difficult to answer completely because he's not mine, he just lives rent-free in my head and struts around like he owns the place, but I'll give it a shot here.

To start, this assumes that the mages from the war are still alive, which insinuates a couple things:

Either they're incredibly long-lived, or the war wasn't all that long ago. I default on the former, but it's your worldbuilding and it's up for you to decide

If the above isn't true, there's time travel or dimensional warping or something similar involved,

I have a couple of headcanons and scenarios I've thought about re: Baggs Meets a Mage (who isn't Ren/not in the R&R verse)

Mages don't look any different than humans most of the time (unless they follow my 'monster x human hybrid' rule, which means they sometimes have monstrous traits) so they can fly under the radar with monsters unless

They have the aforementioned monstrous traits (again, in line with my headcanons and continuity/multiverse theory for the UTMV)

Use magic in front of a monster

Outwardly look like a mage via clothing and/or weapon choices

Are in an encounter where they can be CHECKed

Baggs might treat a mage as he treats any other human. Cautious, observing their movements, trying to get a good, concise read of them to determine whether or not he has to do something about them, and proceeding from there. He can't Judge anymore so he has to leave it up to intuition, because he sure as shit isn't initiating an encounter, and startling a potentially dangerous human is a bad idea re: his magic. He doesn't usually open with it unless he's sure he'll be successful, or at the very least, it won't be as much of a fight to get them under.

If/when he figures out they're a mage, that's when he becomes a bigger problem for them. He hasn't had the chance to study a mage before. Are their souls stronger than standard human souls? How does mage magic hold up to monster magic? Similarities, differences, limitations, all of the things he knows about monster magic he will want to learn about mage magic. He'd definitely be interested in keeping them somewhere he could observe them, so chances are, they'd be down in the lower lab in some room or cell.

He isn't cruel, first and foremost, so he'd approach them and the situation as if they were a guest and kind of... subtly nudge them into compliance with his charisma rather than resorting to his magic-- it might color his data. He'd make bargains and deals, reward good behavior, and be about as much of an open book as he can be for information exchanges.

But he'll never tell about his ace-in-the-hole hypnosis magic. that's insurance.

A compliant and agreeable mage will find him pleasant company. If he deems them not a threat, accommodations and privileges get better and more relaxed. If he feels like he can trust them, he loosens the reins a little and lets them have a bit more freedom.

A combative and potentially dangerous mage will find him holding them at arm's length and treating them with cold, clinical professionalism. If he feels like he's in danger, he'll absolutely subdue them, and if his magic doesn't work as anticipated, he has sedatives. He doesn't play games with his safety, so if it's in question, they're going to be treated as a threat and he handles them as such.

Specifically, with a mage who was in the war;

He'd be very interested in firsthand accounts of what happened. How was the barrier put up? What kind of magic is it, how was it cast? Why would mages turn on monsters when they, too, can cast magic? Were they truly jealous, or was there something more behind the conflict? Half of his lines of questioning will be less about their magic and more about their history. He's heard a few firsthand accounts from the few remaining veterans of the war, but hearing it from a human mage is different. It gives him the other side of the story rather than the one-sided version from monster history.

Perhaps somewhat surprisingly, he wouldn't treat a mage who helped erect the barrier with any animosity if it wasn't directed at him first. He thinks having them stuck down here is its own poetic justice. Trapped in the very cage they helped create-- the irony does not escape him.

More than that, he has someone who knows how that magic works and might well be motivated to help remove said magic. He will play up this fact hard, leaving little tidbits in conversation about how long it's been, how they've all been struggling to escape and, oh... if only there was someone who could help. He's been trying so very hard, you know. He's oh so tired.

To sum up in a sort of tl;dr: He's reactive to how he's treated, and good behavior goes a long way with him. Hostility will be met with hostility in return, and he will subdue a threat by whatever means necessary, medical or magical. He's not cruel, so he won't resort to dubious means of gathering or extracting information, and his magic is his carefully guarded trump card. Words and charisma are just as good at getting information as prising it by force via hypnosis. He'll manipulate a mage into doing what he wants, doubly so if they helped make the barrier. Building a positive relationship with him via trust makes him much more pleasant to be around and he might even, eventually, step out of the realm of professionalism and into intrapersonal. A negative relationship gets a mage treated as a prisoner or subject, and he's cautious and cold in the extreme. But never cruel. This is not a man who does or even would resort to torture for anything. The very worst he'd do is gaslight. He is still a monster in a canon-adjacent-AU. His soul is made of love, compassion, and hope, as all monsters are. It is not and cannot be in his nature to cause undue suffering, and in the end, his highest motivators are to ensure the safety and eventual release of the underground, and to keep his brother happy. Almost everything he does is driven by those two things.

Got way long-winded lmfao but this is something I've thought a fair bit about, so you're lucky anon! (Most especially because I have a mage character who has a kind of interesting dynamic with him in the bits and pieces of drabbles and brainrot I've done with them.)

I hope this bit of character analysis helps you get out of your corner!

[yakuzacanons]

Hallo! First of all, thank you about headcanons, even though I found this blog just a few days ago, I already read mostly everything and they are wonderful!

And secondly: what do you think about the characters' love language? I get some ideas, but it's very interesting what you can write about it.

Thank you in advance, and have a nice day!

This is so sweet and YES love languages are very good. I'm just gonna be operating off the big 5 basic love languages: words of affirmation, gift giving, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch. I know there are probably other specific offshoots of these but I'm keeping it simple. Thanks for your patience and have a good one!

ALSO I am done with Yakuza 6 and am on Yakuza 7 so 6 related asks are officially ok. Ichiban coming soon, promise.

Kazuma Kiryu: Words of Affirmation

Kiryu isn't always the best conversationalist but he's a really good emotional support person. Great at hearing people out and even better at comforting or motivating them. In his most romantic of moments, he can be quite expressive, even if a little blunt.

Majima Goro: Quality Time

You'd think by the amount of weird and cutesy nicknames he gives everyone, especially his significant other and Kiryu, that he'd be a word of affirmation kind of guy but Majima actually just wants to spend the most amount of time possible with his boo. Spends the night as often as possible. Plus, spending quality time means he's got time to do all the other love languages and more.

Akiyama Shun: Gift Giving

Bless his silly stupid head but Akiyama is sorta no thoughts head empty. Less of a smooth talker and more just really lucky at saying the right thing. Great at planning gifts though, especially experiences like vacations, concerts, or festivals.

Saejima Taiga: Acts of Service

Out of all the boys, Saejima is the most traditionally manly man. Holding the door open, walking on the part of the sidewalk closest to the street, paying for the bill when on a nice date, etc. It's a total contrast to the brutish vibe people tend to get off of him but in reality Saejima is just REALLY nice and he figures there's no better way to say it than just showing it.

Tanimura Masayoshi: Gift Giving

In an ideal world, Tanimura would actually be a quality time type of guy but work gets in the way too much for that to be realistic. He compensates by getting you lots of gifts. Nothing too lavish but lots of small things, like your favorite snack while he was at the store because he thought of you or surprising you with a new CD by your favorite singer. For fancier gifts, they usually have lots of cultural significance than monetary value.

Ryuji Goda: Physical Touch

Even though Ryuji can afford to spoil you rotten with gifts, which he will do anyways, his love language is actually physical touch. The gifts are a nice gesture but its the physical intimacy that carries way more meaning to him personally. He won't go full PDA on you but he'll still hold your hand in public or have his arm around your shoulder. He always finds some way to gain physical closeness to you, even if it's not the most upfront or obnoxiously romantic way.

Nishikiyama Akira: Quality Time

He pretends his love language is gift giving because he wants to impress you but in reality he just wants some one-on-one time, just you and no one else. That becomes rather apparent once he realizes he doesn't have to try hard to seem cool in front of you. Secretly just a cozy little guy.

Mine Yoshitaka: Gift Giving

Total gift giver and not ashamed of it. Has a gift for everything. He's also pretty gentlemanly to acts of service sometimes end up going hand in hand with his gifts. In the bedroom though he's a words of affirmation type of guy. Probably the only one of the guys who distinctly changes his love language when having sex versus just spending time with his romantic partner.

Dojima Daigo: Words of Affirmation

Don't be mistaken, Daigo values quality time a lot but is often not available consistently to actually be with you due to how hectic his work is. Behind his somewhat quiet and hesitant demeanor is actually a man who just wants to sing you the praises you deserve and he will do his best to say so whenever he can.

Shinada Tatsuo: Physical Touch

Cuddle buddy supreme. Would smother you with hugs and kisses if he could. Loves laying his head on your shoulder or just snuggling up to you. In colder weather, he'll totally find excuses to be even closer to you, like holding your hand and putting both of your hands in his coat pocket before saying something dumb like "Now we can hold hands AND be warm!"

[veebeeward]

Beach Side

Tags/Warnings:

NBMer!MC x Human!Cove

Fluff

Word count:

1,096

Authors note:

A friend of mine requested a swapped version of the merman Cove fic and so I shall deliver!! I hope it meets peoples expectations and it's a good read! Constructive feedback is appreciated, Enjoy <3

Summary:

MC has known nothing but the ocean, sand and sky their whole life. Their favourite place to go was one beach in particular. The sea was beautiful, warm and the sun always shined so brightly during the summer and it had the best view of the stars. The best of all? Barely anyone was around! So they had the beach all to themselves! Or at least, they thought they did.

MC was enjoying the soft light of the moon as they admired the stars from the ocean's embrace. The view was beautiful, especially from the beach side. This one beach was their favourite. They could enjoy the feeling of the sand against their skin without worrying about anyone finding them there! Like their own private beach. It was a part of "Sunset Bird", a small town. They found this out about a week ago when they found a bucket with the logo on it. They knew learning to read would come in handy.

Just then, there was a sudden sound of moving grains of sand, like someone was stomping on it aggressively. MC immediately shot up at the new sound and dove back into the water. 

Once they thought it was okay to come back up, they peeked out of the water and saw.. a boy? He seemed upset. Angry and sad at the same time. They kept watching to see what he was doing, curious.

The boy kicked some sand before sitting down, hugging his knees to his chest. He looked interesting. His hair was a soft sea green and his sad, reddened eyes were a gleaming blue. Another thing that stood out was his pink cast. He'd been hurt. He looked to be about their age too.

The boy looked down at the sand, drawing something, probably nothing specifically, just moving his finger in circles to leave a dent in the sand. 

MC moved a little closer, trying to get a better look at him since he wasn't looking their way. Just then their eyes met. He seemed scared and jumped to his feet, taking a step back as he stared down at them. He was like a deer in headlights, as their mom would say.

Slowly, MC came up a little out of the water, giving up on the whole sneaky thing since they'd been caught. They offered a small smile as the silence was drowned out literally by the ocean's waves. The boy seemed to calm down a little, his eyes shining with a sort of sparkle they'd see when a kid got their presents for their birthday. This was a good sign! Hopefully.

He walked a little closer to where the water met the sand and knelt down, the tide brushing against his knees, he didn't seem to care. He waved a hand, a determined look on his glowing face. MC brightened up at that and shifted closer, waving a hand back. The kid lit up even more.

"Are you a mermaid? Is this your beach?" He asked, lowering his uninjured hand on the sand which was quickly swallowed by the water. He didn't want to get his other, injured hand wet. 

MC nodded, happy to answer his questions. "Mhm, but the beach isn't mine, you can't own a beach" they said with a small snicker, finding the idea silly. Little did they know. "What are you? A person?" They asked a question of their own, tilting their head as they did. 

"I'm human," he said with a nod. He still seemed to be getting over the initial shock of meeting an actual mermaid. "You're not an actor right?" "An actor?" 

"Some people act like mermaids. I've seen it. They pretend to trick kids, but I know they're fake." He frowned. He wasn't a fan of mermaid actors, that was clear. 

"I don't think I am?" They felt the diamond scales that traced their cheeks with a questioning expression. "I feel pretty real!" He laughed at that, clearly finding the situation funny, but relieved at the same time. 

"Can I..?" He held out his wrapped hand, making his intentions clear. MC nodded and leaned in closer so he could touch their cheek. His hand twitched back at the feeling off it at first, making them flinch a little before he slowly reached out again and properly felt it. His eyes sparkling with awe once again. "Woahhh.." 

He pulled his hand back a few seconds later, now convinced. "What's your name?" "I'm MC" they hummed sweetly. "What's your name?" 

"Cove.." the boy muttered quietly, like he was expecting them to say something. "Cove? Really? That's a nice name" he seemed surprised at that but didn't expand on his thought process at that moment. "Thanks."

Their eyes wandered to his cast and pointed it at. "What's wrong with your arm? Why is it pink?" "Oh.. I got into an accident. I had to get a cast" he responded, looking down at his cast as he lifted it up slightly. They reached out to run a hand over it, the fabric felt weird, but the colour was nice. "Cool"

"You think it's cool?" He said, confused. "Yeah, I think it is" "Oh, cool" he smiled, clearly happy about that. 

He looked so much more different then when he first showed up on the beach, they weren't going to point that out though, at least not yet. They wanted to wait, the right moment to ask about it would come up eventually.

"Cove!!" A voice rang out from afar, startling both of them. It sounded like a man, he sounded worried. Cove spun his head in the direction of the voice, which was coming closer. "My dad.." he said sadly. "Oh, you should go to him then" they said, unaware of the situation. "I don't want to, I want to stay here.." he seemed to root himself deeper into the sand when he said that. "How come? Do you not like him?" "I just don't want to go" he seemed upset all over again, what was wrong? "What if I never see you again? I want to stay here!" He exclaimed. "Cove?! Where are you!" The voice shouted again, much closer this time.

"I know what it's like but you should go back, he's your dad" they were concerned, Cove looked conflicted. "I'll come back tomorrow and we can talk again!" They smiled, clearly having no intention of not meeting again. "You promise?" He whispered, a slight amount of doubt in his tone. "I promise" they pulled their hand up and held out a pinky. Cove leaned forward and wrapped his own pinky around theirs. "Friends?" "Best friends" they said with a sense of certainty, so sure of what they were saying. 

"I should go now, and you should too, your dad is worried about you" they backed up a bit more into the water, Cove hesitated but nodded. With that, they ducked their head back under the water. 

They'd hang out tomorrow.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Here's an amusing thing. A friend of mine and I have procured a copy of the 2002 Fringe Cuts from BBC Radio 4 (full disclosure: my friend did the vast majority of the work in tracking it down, though I did contribute by spending about half an hour reading through old Radio Times listing until I found its exact date). We (he) procured it because Daniel Kitson's Comedy CV page claimed he was featured on BBC Fringe Cuts in 2001 and 2002. We already had 2001, which does, in fact contain Daniel Kitson. Decided to find 2002.

Having listened to the entire 43 minutes of BBC Fringe Cuts 2002, I can confirm that Daniel Kitson does not appear in it. Which is pretty funny, because it means he lied on his Comedy CV. Or more accurately, I assume, his agent lied on his Comedy CV, as there's no way he wrote that thing himself. I assume that page was written by the agent that he fired several years later, over a dispute because she told him that if you want a career in public performance, you will occasionally have to let people find out that you exist. Anyway, somebody lied on Daniel Kitson's Comedy CV, because it says: "He can also be heard on Radio 4, in shows such as Fringe Cuts (Edinburgh 2001,2002) and Loose Ends." I've heard the 2003 Loose Ends show and the 2001 Fringe Cuts, and he's definitely there. But not 2002.

Lying on your public CV, to make it sound like you've appeared on public radio more times than you really have, is an amusingly un-Kitson-like thing to do. However, that's not the amusing thing that I referenced at the start of this post. When I said "Here's an amusing thing", I meant the earliest recording I've ever heard of Flight of the Conchords:

This is from their Edinburgh Fringe debut in 2002, the big year that all the Chocolate Milk Gang members (well, mostly David O'Doherty, but some others too) talk about as initially bringing the CMG together, in awe at FOTC's brilliance. I assume I've probably heard a lot of the material from that show, as most of it would have been repurposed into their later work, but this Fringe Cuts clip is the only recording I've ever heard of them performing at that actual Fringe Festival.

I note that Marcus Brigstoke, who was compering (badly, God that guy's annoying), introduced them as Flight of Conchords. I assume that was Brigstoke's mistake and not because they only added "the" later on. I'm pretty sure.

Anyway, I'm sure that song is exactly the best thing they've ever done (it definitely isn't), but it's a pretty interesting historical artifact, I think. The Fringe Cuts show also featured Sarah Kendall doing a very early and very rough version of some material that I've heard cleaned up in ABC recordings years later, and Adam Hills, in what I believe was his Go You Big Red Fire Engine era, telling the same couple of stories that he'd continue to tell for 15 years. Those were the most interesting bits for me. The show also featured Miles Jupp being somewhat insufferable (and I quite like Miles Jupp, but I think he toned down the posh persona in later years and that was for the better - rather like Chris Addison that way), and some other people who were varying degrees of annoying. But it's definitely interesting as a piece of early 00s Edinburgh comedy history, which is my exact niche of interest.

Anyway, most of the radio show would not be of interest to anyone who doesn't happen to share my specific historic niche, but I thought some people might get a kick out of the early FOTC recording, so there it is.

[beardedjoel]

hiii julie

first of allllll, congratulations on 5k followers!!! if you ask me, you deserve them all and so so much more! you've seen me obsessing about smother enough to know it changed my soul and how much I love it and am thankful for your talent and generosity to share it with us ♡

and for my ask, is one I always had a bit of curiosity but also was kinda of afraid to ask...? i dont know why tho, but I would love a directors commentary on the hysteria chapter of smother. specifically the part where, well... Joel gets home and finds blossom and that psycho, and when he decided to show his guest how they have fun and all and made a point to let him think that blossom was really his daughter. I say that he "made a point" of it because of how he made the guy spell it out "you are fucking your daughter" and that left at that until it was done, even adding his own dubious commentaries about the nature of the relationship as he went. I know that it was his exact goal to confuse Bryan (i think that was his name?) and cause shock and all but I've been always curious about that moment since I've read it because to me it was the most complex and controversial thing Joel had done. I mean, he's done a lot of crazy things but this part just stood out to me cause of how much he seemed into the idea of his audience thinking he was really fucking his own daughter, how he seemed to enjoy it. and I just would like your comment on it, or any insight in Joel's state of mind at that moment, what he thought he was doing, how his mind processed and rationalized it all, anything really you might want to share about it!

finally, thank you so much for doing this ♡♡

oooh, this is a really interesting question! 💭

on the surface, i imagined that joel just wanted to emotionally torture this guy as much as he could squeeze out before killing him, and he saw the perfect opportunity the second bryant claimed blossom was his daughter. as we know smother joel isn't the most emotionally stable guy so he latched onto that pretty quickly, and i sort of pictured him in a rage and fear induced daze where he couldn't really see past his own actions. like caveman brain going: this man tried to take what is mine, i must show him what is mine and then layer in him wanting to basically freak bryant out by letting him believe the lie. i mean fucking her in front of him is already bad enough without him thinking it's his daughter, but i imagine that joel was very excited about this.

i think that joel processing all of that was part of some of the aftermath in the following chapter. i don't think he regrets it, but i also do feel he maybe thinks he shouldn't have put blossom through the extra stress of having to also be fucked in front of that man. but he'd never say that, unfortunately.

and honestly!! i just thought it was kind of hot in a sick and twisted way, which was how the idea wormed its way into my brain in the first place. i wanted to show some more depths of joel's sort of depravity, because i think he'd be kind of an audience guy in the right circumstances like this, and add in something quite taboo, which he very much has an affinity for, and it was kind of the perfect combo for him.

[jurakan]

can I have a fun fact in youtube deep dive format?

I, uh... don't know how to do that, friendo, because this is a Wendy's a blog not a video hosting site, but! I will try to give you something interesting. Today You Learned about the tygers of colonial Carolina!

[Alright, full disclosure: this is half a conspiracy theory of mine. I went down this rabbit hole after reading Wild New World by Dan Flores.]

In 1709, John Lawson published a book titled 'A New Voyage to Carolina' which is a detailed description of the people, flora, and fauna he found while exploring the Carolinas (I think mostly South Carolina? They weren't divided then, I think).

One thing he notes that I found interesting?

Tygers.

???

[whatcha talking about Johnny, we ain't got tygers here]

Listen to this from page 31:

As we were on our Road this Morning, our Indian shot at a Tyger, that cross'd the Way, he being a great Distance from us. I believe he did him no Harm, because he sat on his Breech afterwards, and look'd upon us.

Uh, okay... um... then on 119 we get this, when he's describing the different animals you can find in the area:

Tygers are never met withal in the Settlement; but are more to the Westward, and are not numerous on this Side the Chain of Mountains. I once saw one, that was larger than a Panther, and seem'd to be a very bold Creature. The Indians that hunt in those Quarters, say, they are seldom met withal. It seems to differ from the Tyger of Asia and Africa.

Alright, what makes this odd (other than that we don't have wild tigers in the Carolinas, if you don't count tailgating Clemson fans) is that the automatic guess you'd make is that he's talking about mountain lions/pumas. They don't live here now, but they did back before colonization. Except he specifically lists what we'd think of as mountain lions as 'panthers', and makes it clear that this animal, this 'tyger' isn't that.

So what are our possibilities here?

ONE: He saw an actual tiger.

...very unlikely. You'd think we'd know about this sort of thing, wouldn't you? If there were tigers in the Americas? Nah, let's dismiss this.

TWO: He made it up.

Well, look, Lawson did actually found towns in the Carolinas, so he has a vested interest in making people go there to live. If he tells you they've got cool animals to see/hunt, like tigers, well, that would definitely attract some colonists, wouldn't it? And they'd expand westward, as he points out that they're supposedly more common on the other side of the mountains (the Appalachians, presumably), and he'd get credit for that.

THREE: He's talking about a different big cat.

He does also mention the 'tygers' of Africa, except Africa doesn't have tigers, either. Either he's confused about that, or for him, 'tyger' just means 'big, colorful wild cat'. I remember that in telling Anansi stories, one author has his characters claim that 'Tyger' back in the day just meant 'big cat', and he uses 'Tiger' as the name of 'Osebo' (which I've seen other authors depict as a leopard). And while North America doesn't have tigers, it does have another really big, roaring cat...

Yes, the US does indeed have jaguars in the Southwest, though they are very rare there, as opposed to further south (and this Border Wall business is not helping conservation efforts). Historically, before they were hunted out by settlers, they did live in Texas and as far north as Colorado, and as far east as Louisiana. Heck, until the 60's it was still legal to shoot them in Arizona. Was it possible that Lawson's 'tyger' was a jaguar? He does say his indigenous correspondents told him that they were usually found west of the mountains, and rarely that far east--and the jaguar's historical range was west of the Appalachian, though pretty far from the Carolinas. And I admit that I have trouble imagining a jaguar wandering the wilds of the Carolinas (though that would be dope).

I don't know. I have no way of knowing. But Dan Flores is pretty insistent that jaguars used to be all over the place, and so he seems to subscribe to the theory that Lawson's 'tyger' was a jaguar that wandered into the Carolinas.

Hm.

A strange zoological mystery, to be sure.

In case you were wondering what happened to John Lawson, by the by, he was captured by the native Tuscarora in 1711 while exploring and tortured to death, shortly before the beginning of the Tuscarora War.

So now you know. I hope this was the 'deep dive' you were looking for.

[dwindlinghaze]

can i please get a 🩰 and 🪞 

male preference, marauders era, im 18, im in stem and im a libra, im really into romance novels but i also like sci fi and fantasy. I love rock(more specifically like 80s rock) a lot. I love wearing baggy shirts and cargo pants paired with high top vans, but my style is all over the place. My favorite movies are mostly action and comedy, I have been described as scary and intimidating by people who don’t know me but my friends say im nice and funny. I plan to do something in the law or psychology fields. 

hello ! tysm for participating in my 500 celebration

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩

🩰 : i ship you with james potter

╰┈➤ aries and libra are two compatible signs ! fire and air !!

╰┈➤ james would definitely get you random sci fi books after seeing their cool covers without reading the summary at the back. even if the story wasn't too interesting, you'd read the first few pages just to show appreciation of him being considerate.

"you told me you've read all your stacks so how about we go to the library together and borrow some more?" he offered. "that'd be perfect," you answered. in the library, he'd hand you hardcover novel solely because of how appealing its design was. he isn't someone that likes to read unless it's for school work. "james did you even read the summary?," you hit his shoulder in a joking manner. "i guess i do judge books by their covers," he sheepishly admitted after reading the back.

╰┈➤ singing and vibing with him to an 80s rock song is your daily routine. he likes listening to vinyl records instead of the radio because it felt more like in the 80s.

╰┈➤ baggy shirts are something that james would steal from you. the guy usually gives the girl his shirts but fuck gender roles ;)

"you're wearing my shirt?" you accused blatantly, pointing at him. "this is size is literally my size, i thought it was mine," shrugged the boy like he didn't do it on purpose. truth be told, you loved it when he wears your clothes (if he ask for permission first obviously)

╰┈➤ i feel like james loves action movies too so you both take turns in choosing which movie to watch together for the night.

╰┈➤ james can vouch about how funny of a person you are without trying too hard, laughters just come naturally when you're around. his friends that didn't know you quietly well (yet) definitely think otherwise. sirius view you as someone that's better off left alone because you intimidated him for a reason he does not know, but once they got to know you, they'd agree with james a million times.

[dark-ethereal-visions]

Book Excerpt: Testament

From the time I was a teenager, I was fascinated with the history of witchcraft in England and its emergence in the early colonies of the future United States. Like many people, my interest in this topic began with learning about the Salem Witch Trials in the early 1690s. Around the same time, I took an interest in learning about the practice of witchcraft itself. I taught myself about traditional witchcraft, Gardnerian wicca, and Italian hereditary witchcraft. I was especially fascinated with the lore of Aradia, known to Italians as the Queen of the Witches. I read books from such well-known authors as Raymond Buckland, Raven Silverwolf, Raven Grimassi, Charles Leland, and many others.

Eventually, I began to wonder if other British colonies in North America suffered a similar witchcraft hysteria. I found that New York, previously known as New Amsterdam, also had a brief witch problem. Similar to Salem, this witch hysteria was motivated by politics and land grabs. There’s very little information regarding the specific details of New York witchcraft cases. I used what details I could find to help me write this book as close to reality as possible. For the rest, I used my imagination.

In this excerpt, Singent Straubb shares the experience of his first day on the job as an apprentice magistrate. In my opinion, this is the most important section of the entire book since it shares Singent’s first impressions of his employer, Magistrate Jacob de Heart, and his fellow co-workers, Blackburn and Sterling.

Journal of Singent Straubb

3d day of August, 1665

     It is late in the evening, very late to judge by the fact that mine is the only illuminated window on the street, and I have only just returned home. I would very much like to retire and put this day to an end, but I must record the events of the day now whilst the details are still fresh in my mind. Where ever shall I begin? I suppose it's best to relate the day in its entirety and, once that has all been recorded, I shall better be able to express my feelings, those emotions swimming around in my head that would keep me from unconsciousness even if I were to retire right at this very moment. Speaking of sleep, I slumbered very little last night and I suppose that's just the way of it for anyone about to realize their dream with the next sunrise; I was awake and out of bed long before my father. Hoping to make an exceptionally good first impression, I bathed thoroughly with a sponge and some lye before dressing in my best Sunday suit. I remember thinking to myself as I prepared for the day that my first week's pay must be spent on new clothes and better toiletries. An officer of the courts should certainly be far more presentable than the average citizen. He should be a physical manifestation of the highest principles of law, or so I'd imagined in my dreamy mind.

     By the time father was up and preparing for his own day, I was ready and anxious to head out the door to begin my very first day of apprenticeship. It was all he could do to get me to sit down at the breakfast table for a mere five minutes, but I did concede, not wishing to disrespect him so soon after he'd agreed to allow me to pursue this dream of mine. As soon as he placed the fresh milk, steaming eggs, and toasted bread in front of me, my empty belly reminded me that I'd neglected one of the most important morning duties in my excitement. As I ate the prepared meal with enthusiasm, he spoke softly, kindly to me.

     “Son, you are about to go out into the world to make your mark as a man and nothing could fill me with more pride.”

     I glanced up at him briefly before I gulped down half of the glass of milk. He must have read my thoughts in my expression because he continued:

     “Perhaps this isn't the profession I would have chosen for you, but I am proud of you, nonetheless.”

     “Thank you, father.”

     His benevolent smile, which has very rarely made an appearance in our household since mother's passing, graced his moustache-shrouded lips. “I have every confidence that you will become the fine hard-working and upstanding gentleman that your mother and I have dreamt you would be.”

     “I will strive to never disappoint you or to tarnish mother's memory.”

     He smiled once more. As that smile faded, he produced his pocket watch and presented it for me to view as he said in mock alarm, “Now go! You mustn't be late on your very first day!”

     I was the first to arrive at the courthouse, yet it wasn't long before I was greeted by those same men that had detained my father this past Sunday. They looked mismatched in their fine suits here as I had a better opportunity to see them than I had had outside of the church. The more outspoken of the men introduced himself as Mr. Blackburn. He was easily a foot shorter than his associate, Mr. Sterling, and bigger, bulkier than both Mr. Sterling and myself put together. He wasn't fat though. Far from it. He was solid muscle from head to toe and so fit, in fact, that when he walked, no part of him jiggled with the flabby flesh of obesity. He was bald, which I think added to the menacing, overbearing appearance of the man.

     His pale eyes, more the color of a stormy sky than that of a clear ocean, pierced through me in such a way that an icy shiver ran up my spine. His bulbous nose was crooked with crude knots spread along the ridge; it had clearly been broken more than once throughout his life. Also worth noting is the condition of his overgrown hands, which I'd had ample opportunity to observe during our handshake. His hands were harsh. I don't think there is a gentle bone in the man's entire body and, if not for his brutish demeanor, I am certain most would think him little more than a clumsy oaf. The skin was rough as one might expect of a man that had spent a lifetime engaged in hard labor. The knuckles on each hand were red as though the skin had been battered with repeated abuse and they were as scarred as they were discolored. Tiny yet noticeable nicks, scrapes, and abrasions marred his fists in such a way that he could only have obtained such scars from a lifetime spent in a boxing ring or in street brawls.

     In some ways, Mr. Sterling was as different from Mr. Blackburn as night from day, yet he seemed just as menacing and as brutal in his own way. He was more than six feet tall, standing, as I've already mentioned, a foot taller than Blackburn. It was nearly impossible to estimate his true height because his lanky body was slouched and, when he was viewed from either side, it seemed that his prominent spine was permanently curved. I remember noticing this, disturbed by just how visible that column of bony ridges appeared beneath a thin layer of skin and clothing. I thought to myself that such a condition was sure to cause problems as he aged into his later years. Lacking the muscle mass of Blackburn, he was as slim as he was tall. His sleek, black hair was trimmed short and I found his emerald eyes to be most misleading as they lent to the impression of a warm, gentle heart even though they were set in that unwavering stoical face. His nose had clearly never been broken, judging by the manner in which the perfectly straight bridge sloped downward. It seemed as though that sloped nose overhung past his thin lips, though I'm sure that was just an illusion created by the dwarfed angle at which I looked up at him. Multiple scars mapped his face from forehead to chin and the depth and length of each marking suggested that they had been left there by sharp blades of knives or swords. The wounds had obviously healed without the benefit of proper medical treatment as the skin had folded over itself and had left more pronounced scars than what should have been formed. Another clue that Sterling was no stranger to knives came when he reached forward to shake my hand. Chance, in the guise of a temperate breeze, blew his jacket open as he extended his right arm in camaraderie, revealing a sheathed bowie knife secured to his leather belt. It was only then, when he'd observed the recognition of the weapon in my own eyes, that those unwaveringly stern lips formed a smile.

     These were not nice men and, to be perfectly honest, keeping their company stirred within me feelings of uneasiness, disquietude. I was only too happy to agree when they, at length, suggested escorting me to the magistrate's office.

     I felt, as we entered the courthouse, that I was finally going to meet a true legal professional and, better still, I was going to take my rightful place at his side. One can imagine, then, the dismay I felt upon walking  into Magistrate de Heart's office and finding him in a state of disarray...to be very polite about it. The office, as one might expect of a newly erected and recently occupied government building, was sparsely decorated with only a single portrait of His Majesty, Charles II, adorning the cream colored walls. In the center of the room sat a massive desk, hand-carved  of oak and heavily varnished. Behind that desk, the magistrate sat in a plush, leather chair, which looked more like a throne than a chair suited to a government employee. Papers were scattered across his desk to his left and to his right, but, directly in front of him, there sat a silver serving tray with a half-eaten pig sprawled across its breadth.

     As we entered the office following a brief knock, the man behind the desk was passionately devouring one of the sow's legs, his full lips dribbling with grease and slobbering over the meat just as he might slobber over a lover's lips. The sounds of him suckling at his feast, pulling the grease down his greedy gullet, and the noise of his moist lips smacking together as he chewed echoed throughout the chamber. In between bites, he waved an arm toward one of the three vacant seats facing him and motioned for me to join him. As I drew closer, I could see the sweat beading upon his brow; his hairline was so far receded that he may as well have been bald. Although he wore a makeshift paper bib, his black robe was stained with pig grease where the bib could not protect him. Blackburn and Sterling had remained stationed at the door as though they had been assigned to guard the magistrate. Jacob de Heart picked up and dropped the serving tray, urging the men forward with a chubby, grease-soaked hand.

     “Get this slop out of here!”

    Sterling removed the tray as Blackburn used a fresh rag to help the magistrate clean himself.

    “Forgive me, but I had not had the chance to breakfast this morning, thanks in no small measure to my bothersome wife.”

     “I understand, Magistrate.”

     “You are my new apprentice. Are you not?”

     “Yes, sir,” I replied with the utmost zeal. “Singent Straubb, with two B's.”

      “Well, Singent Straubb with two B's, how much do you know of this court and your position herein?”

     “My father, upon informing me of the position, had very little information for me. I do know, through my own researches, that the Court of Assizes is here established only recently and that its purpose is as ecclesiastical as it is legal.”

     “Come again?”

     “Oh...Well, sir, it's my understanding that this court's function is to investigate and try instances of witchcraft and heresy. Is that not so?”

     Magistrate de Heart nodded. “It is. As well, English law, under which we must operate, demands that the accused be tried by two magistrates. The truth of the matter, Straubb, is that His Majesty couldn't be bothered with the day to day workings of these colonies. He is aware, as are we all, that, for the most part, a great many of the colonists are tax evaders, criminals...undesirables. He does, however, expect English law to be strictly enforced.”

     Magistrate de Heart glanced up at Blackburn and Sterling ever so briefly as he'd uttered those last two words. I took the exchange to mean there had been disciplinary problems with the men in recent history.

     “It is this contradiction that has led His Majesty to insist upon these trials without having provided for the necessary regulations. As it is becoming more troublesome to find established magistrates willing to come to these abhorrent colonies, I have taken it upon myself to retain an apprentice magistrate. That is you, boy.”

     “I understand. I am most eager to begin.”

     "What know you of English law?”

     “Everything!”

     “Everything?” The magistrate's robust laughter was so deafening in the small chamber that it was nearly impossible to hear Blackburn and Sterling chuckling from behind.

     “What I mean to say, sir, is that I have been studying the law since I was a small boy. I am familiar with most principles and procedures.”

     “And the witchcraft laws? Are you equally familiar with them?”

     “No, sir. I must confess that I am not.”

     “I would be very much surprised if you were as there are none.”

     “Sir?”

     “Don't misunderstand me, boy. There are regulations for the establishment of this tribunal, but much of what we do will be governed by the actions of the Dutch in their recent trials.”

     “I see.”

     “And do you still feel up to this task?”

     “I do, sir.”

     “Time will tell, boy.” The magistrate arose from his chair with no small measure of struggle and the chair itself creaked and groaned with relief upon being unburdened of his massive weight. Drawing the handkerchief from his pocket, he wiped the remaining pig grease from his lips and jowls. “We have a guest awaiting our attention.”

     “A guest, Magistrate?”

     I arose as well, turning in time to see this 50-something year old minister of justice glance at his fellows, both of whom had maintained their positions at the door. The magistrate's grin at these two men left me with an uneasy feeling for what reason I could not fathom. Though I momentarily felt foolish for being so suspicious of my employer, the ensuing chuckles of Blackburn and Sterling once again set the hairs upon my neck prickling afresh. I tried reminding myself that I knew nothing of these men -for good or for ill- and that they all were, as a matter of fact, officers of a most high court. Yet, I still could not shake the wariness I felt in their presence. I told myself that it would be quite foolhardy to act or even to speak upon these suspicions, but, as I am generally a good judge of character, I had determined to observe these men with a cautious eye until my suspicions were either confirmed or disproved. My thoughts were interrupted when the magistrate spoke to me upon leading our party from the office.

     “Our guest, Straubb, is a neger slave by the name of Tiekka, accused of heresy and of the practice of voodoo.”

     “May I know the details of this case?”

     “Here.” He handed me a stack of neatly arranged papers, each page filled with the writings of a female hand to be judged by the bubbly beatific cursive known to be most common amongst women. “The statement of Tiekka's employer and only friend in all of this great colony.”

To buy your copy of Testament today, follow these links:

Paperback

Kindle

Nook

[latefrequencies]

tfw you realize a character you’re writing about would, under the circumstances in which you have them, absolutely develop a niche interest that you share

[sumire-bride]

SUMIRE AND SHUU (DEMO) ROUTE, Shiro's story part 1.

[Btw! This storyline takes place in the future in the bad ending, meaning it's all angst and all that other fun stuff, this doesn't include interactions with Sumire or Shuu (unless flashbacks) but mainly just shows how Shiro's life is in this particular ending and how he has his ending in the bad ending which will include 6 or 8 parts! Will try my best to post these weekly Please enjoy :) ]

Monologue

——I was told that the girl that was demonstrated in that big painting on wall of my home loved stories.

Fairy tails, true stories, but specifically love stories true or not.

She was so infatuated by the idea of love while denying it for she had her "happiness" who was her father.

He told me she loved ones with depressing endings.. But with a twist. sad sad sad stories love stories.

I wonder if.. That's why I'm here.

I felt her running.. I felt her panic.. I felt her pain.. I heard her read that story.. What story was it..?

I can smell her next door. I can smell her in the garden. the halls..

she won't leave me alone.. Her image haunts me..

She's everywhere no matter where I go——

𖧷ɤ———ɤ𖧷

SCENE STARTS IN SHIRO'S AND HINOTE'S ROOM

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

HINOTE- Ahh... Shiro-kun.. Can you turn that off please.. I can't move..

SHIRO- Zzz..

HINOTE- Shiro-kun..? Ugh..

*RUSTLE RUSTLE*

*Hinote turns off the alarm*

HINOTE- You sure are the heavy sleeper.. Who even set this alarm..? Didn't the two us fall asleep right as we got here..?

(..I doubt Shiro-kun would set the alarm, I don't think he'd bother. It's as if he sleeps in a sound proof room.)

(I should just let him sleep, maybe I'll search around the place—)

REIJI- Ahem.. You boys are still asleep..? I set for a reason you know.

HINOTE- EEKK..!!

SHIRO- Zzz.. Zz..

REIJI- Hm.. There isn't a need a scream, it's only me.

HINOTE- Uwah.. (This is Shiro-kuns uncle right..? How long has he been standing there..?! When did he even enter the room..!?)

Uhm.. Excuse me sir.. But what are you doing in here..?

REIJI- You two didn't think you'd be living here without any school did you..? Honestly you younger boys these days,

They recently opened up a middle schooler part for the younger years in our school, it's become so much more disrupted..

So it's only natural I put you boys in there isn't it..?

HINOTE- Ah..! School..! That's awsome. But.. It's so late, doesn't school happen in the morning..?

REIJI- For you humans yes, but for us vampire's we do night school, If you have a problem with it then don't make it mine.

HINOTE- I-I don't have a problem with it at all..! I don't get out much anyways,

(It's not like this'll kill me.. Plus Shiro-kun will be there! This is gonna be a blast)

REIJI- Good to know, I'll be expecting you in the car in 5 minuets then.

...

I know your out there, Ayato..

*CREEEAAAKK*

AYATO- Tch..! Damn it,

REIJI- What are you even doing out there..? You don't find interest in these type of things now get to that car

AYATO- Don't tell me what to do..! Ore-sama will do whatever he wants..!

More importantly, that ones still sleeping,

Pfft.. Isn't that ever familiar.

REIJI- Ah.. That's right, I completely forgot about his presence for a sec.. Though that smell he holds it's a surprise I forgot he was there.

You. Wake him up

HINOTE- Huh..? Oh..! Shiro-kun..!

Ah.. I can try.

AYATO- Whadda mean 'you'll try' just wake em up, it's not hard.

Watch and learn.

Oi..! Hiro..!

HINOTE- His name is actually Shiro..

And just what a moment..! Shiro isn't exactly a morning person..! In fact he doesn't like being woken up at all..—

AYATO- Shaad up..

Oi..! Get up..!

*Ayato shakes Shiro*

SHIRO- ..Nnn...

*he swats Ayato's hand away*

AYATO- Did he just..

Oi what makes you think you can hit ore-sama hah..!?

HINOTE- L-let's calm down for a sec I can wake him—

AYATO- I might just go grab some water and pour it on ya..!

Get up..!!

SHIRO- Tch.. Pain in the ass...

..Nnn...

AYATO- Who are you calling a pain in the ass..?!

*Ayato shakes him more*

SHIRO- Guh..

Don't touch me...!!

HINOTE- Gahh..!

*PUNCH*

*scene changes inside car*

AYATO- Tch..

HINOTE- Mm..

REIJI- ...

SHIRO- Zz.. Pwah.. Nn..

LAITO- Pfftt.. Fufu.. Hahaha..! Oh no poor Ayato, your face looks like a little cookie.. A raisin cookie to be more exact.

KANATO- Isn't that funny teddy..? Ayato getting beat up but a little boy..

AYATO- All of you be quiet..! I didn't get beat up.

You damn brat, punching and ruining the great ore-sama's face..

HINOTE- We-well I did tell you to leave it up to me..

Shiro isn't a morning person, the last time someone tried to wake him up from a nap in the church and his cold hard glare was enough to scare anyone away, when they didn't leave he.. well.. The other priest didn't have hair for months because he caused a.. tiny fire.

SHIRO- [He seems to be struggling to stay awake]

SUBARU- Hmph.. Pathetic.

AYATO- who’re you calling pathetic..?! Shut your trap..!

Hmph.. what’s up with all of you teasing me so dang much..? Assholes..

HINOTE- aha.. ha.. ah…

Shiro-kun, come on stay awake.

SHIRO- Zzz.. Tch..

Quit bugging me… god.. annoying as ever..

HINOTE- It’s not annoying if I don’t want anymore trouble for you.

As your bodyguard it’s my job.

SHIRO- Bodyguard… you sure think highly of yourself…

You can’t protect me here… you’ll only die.. I’m not in the mindset to see blood…

(he can’t even protect himself let alone me)

Pwah… I’m so tired…

HINOTE- Ah..! Shiro-kun..! Come on stay awake.

REIJI- it seems as though we’re here.

AYATO- Damn.. already..?

*the car door opens, they step outside*

*scene switches to entrance*

HINOTE- Uwah.. uwahh..!! Shiro-kun Shiro-kun..! Look look..! Look how big this school is..!

SHIRO- It’s just a school.. this looks no different then what I go to everyday, it’s just slightly bigger..

Cool your jets Rapunzel.

REIJI- Ah..

*FLASHBACK*

SUMIRE- ..Shuu-sama Shuu-sama…! Look look…! I found a pedal from this flower…! Look how pretty it is…!

SHUU- Flower pedal..? That’s all it is nothing more then one leaf, your so weird.

Cool your jets Rapunzel.

SUMIRE- ..But… I do not own any jets Shuu-sama…

*FLASHBACK ENDS*

REIJI- …

SHIRO- …

(..that guy seems like he has it out for me or something… If he had a problem with his brothers it better not have to be to fix them.. I deal with her crazy family already..)

(All of this is so annoying..)

REIJI- The middle school floor is beneath the high schoolers, I'm sure you'll find your way to the classroom you both are in easy.

Don't be any trouble, unless you both desire a punishment I wouldn't recommend it. I'm talking to you.. Shiro. Those parents of yours enjoyed getting into lots of it.

SHIRO- Ah.. (Yup.. My parents problems my problems, the sequel.. Ahh..)

LAITO- Bye bye dear nephew~ Don't make any trouble kay I know how you younger boys are fufu.

AYATO- I'm gonna getch you back for hitting me in the face..!

KANATO- Teddy.. Class is boring.. Let's find a nice spot to sit in okay..? Teddy.

SUBARU- Hmph..

*They walk off*

HINOTE- Uh.. Your family seems.. nice.. A little noisy but they seem fun.

Have they always been like this..?

SHIRO- I wouldn't know. This is the first time I'm meeting them..

HINOTE- You've never them..? I see, do you not know many of your family..?

SHIRO- My moms side, but I know absolutely nothing about my dads.

I don't like these people. Their weird..

HINOTE- Shouldn't you like all your family..? Because, family is family right..?

SHIRO- I hate all my family members, all are so annoying and a pain in the ass. I don't have to like anybody if I don't want to.. "Family is family" is such a ass saying, mine is completely nuts.

And what would you know about it..? Aren't you a orphan..? You don't know what it's like to have family good or bad so shut your mouth on what I should like.

Let's go..

HINOTE- Oh.. Yeah.. Let's go..

*Scene is in outside classroom*

HINOTE- ...

SHIRO- ...

(maybe I went a bit too far back there.. I was saying what was true, I always do that so why do I feel this weird feeling..?)

(Ah man.. I hate it here..) Pwah.. (..I'm tired. Night school is gonna be a pain in the ass)

HINOTE- Is this the door..? The class I mean.

SHIRO- I would think so. Go on, open the door. I can't be bothered to.

HINOTE- This is kinda exciting.. I've never been inside a real classroom like this before.

*FWOOSSHHH*

HINOTE- Eh..

STUDENT- ..?..

SHIRO- ...

HINOTE- Shiro-kun.. I can't do it... I wanna go back too many people are in here..--

SHIRO- Come on body guard let's go..

HINOTE- Ahaa...!!

TEACHER- Ah.. New students I see, hmm.. that's quite unusual to have a human student.. Oh dear..

What's your names might I ask..?

HINOTE- A-ah.. Hinote Haruto..!

TEACHER- I see, what a strong name mr. Haruto. I do have you on my list starting from yesterday.

And what about this one..?

SHIRO- ...

TEACHER- Ahem.. Your last name.

HINOTE- Ah.. S-sorry he isn't a massive talker, his name is Shiro Kanashi.

TEACHER- Hmm.. Kanashi.. I don't have a Shiro Kanashi on my paper, I do however have a Shiro Sakamaki on here though, Maybe a mix up perhaps..?

But I can't help but feel honoured to have a Sakamaki family member in my classroom..!

SHIRO- Uh.. (Sakamaki..? What the hell..? I don't ever use that last name nor do is it even written down on a paper..)

TEACHER- There's seats over in the back you two can sit in, actually I don't care where your sitting. Honestly what a mistake putting middle schoolers with high schoolers.. Barely anyone shows up. The younger ones that is. Haah.. Middle schoolers...

Over there.

*Shiro and Hinote begin to walk to their desks all while being stared at by a few other students*

FEMALE STUDENT 1- Uwahh.. Hey their kinda cute..

FEMALE STUDENT 2- Ehh.. No way... the blonde one though, not even cute, he's hello pretty do you think he'd go on a date with me..?

That browned haired one is eh.. I don't like his moles... There gross..

FEMALE STUDENT 1- I think think there sexy..~

HINOTE- Eh...

SHIRO- ... (I hate women...)

MALE STUDENT 1- Greaat... Another set of pretty boys for the girls to fond over.. How annoying...

MALE STUDENT 2- Is he even naturally blonde..? Looks like he's got roots or something.. And I bet those moles on that other guys face are drawn on

HINOTE- There not--

*SNATCH*

HINOTE- Mnpff...!!

SHIRO- Shut.up. Don't be a pain and start shit please...

*TIMESKIP*

*DING--DONG--DING--DONG*

HINOTE- Phew... So this is what actual school is like... Uwahh... It's so tiring.. Is this the reason you are such a grouch when you come to the church after you're done school..?

SHIRO- No. It's cuz I have some little Malagasy with moles following me around everywhere.

Or should say mole rat..

HINOTE- Mole rat..?! Malagasy..!? What is it with you and creating nicknames for me..!?

Should I start calling you sleeping beauty..?

SHIRO- Call me that I'll slit your throat.

HINOTE- Ekk... Okay... A little violent don't you think...

Ah.. Hey Shiro-kun, since it's our break, can we walk around for a bit..--

FEMALE STUDENT 1- So your names Shiro huh..? Wow what a nice name..!

SHIRO- Tch...

FEMALE STUDENT 1- He's playing hard to get how cute..! Hey hey do you have cell phone, a phone number perhaps..? Or maybe you like social media, a guy like you, you're probably a model..!

FEMALE STUDENT 2- Hey come on, don't hog him, you'll give me your number to right..? Here let me give you mine.

FEMALE STUDENT 1- Buzz off..! You said you liked the other one..!

FEMALE STUDENT 2- I said I liked his moles, I don't think he's any good other than that.

HINOTE- Ah..

SHIRO- ... (I ask for one peaceful moment in my life. One peaceful god damn moment..)

FEMALE STUDENT 3- I would like your number to..! Are you doing anything after school..? I would totally love to hang out with you.

FEMALE STUDENT 4- Oooh.. Look at his eyes, there like jades..! Such a beautiful green shade..!

*The girls seem to be shadowing over Shiro's desk, making it hard for Hinote to say a thing to Shiro*

HINOTE- Oh.. (That's understandable I suppose.. I guess if I were a girl I'd probably wanna talk to him to...)

(I can talk to him all I want later)

*TIMESKIP*

*SCENE IS IN HALLWAY*

FEMALE STUDENT 1- What's your favourite food..? I can buy you something from the vending machine. Or a drink..?

SHIRO- I don't like vending machine stuff.

HINOTE- Shiro-kun, I bought some drinks..! There your favourite--

FEMALE STUDENT 2- Then lets go to the cafe, they've got lots of good stuff..!

*SCENE CHANGES TO CLASSROOM*

HINOTE- Shiro-kun, you having trouble..? You haven't touched any of these questions here I'll help you with it.

SHIRO- Whatever--

FEMALE STUDENT 3- I'm really in math..! Here I'll help you.

*SCENE CHANGES TO BALCONY*

HINOTE- I was totally wrong.. I didn't get to talk to Shiro-kun at all..

(Well.. to be honest, it's not like he wants to talk to me often anyways..)

*FLASHBACK*

*Flashback is set in a garden*

YOUNGER HINOTE- Ah..! Shiro-kun..! Have you come to look at the roses to..!? We can look at them together..!

YOUNGER SHIRO- I'm going back inside..

YOUNGER HINOTE- Uwahh..!

*FLASHBACK ENDS*

HINOTE- Gaah.. Thinking back on our childhood I realize how annoying I must of been..

Stupid Hinote..!

KANATO- Please quiet down you're upsetting teddy..

HINOTE- Ekk..!

AYATO- The hysteric has a point, why're ya always screaming and screeching like some little girl..?

HINOTE- Pardon..?!

LAITO- Come now, there's nothing wrong with a boy being so jumpy.

If anything It's quite laughable seeing this frail boy jump at the slightest things. It feels like I haven't had a good laugh since...

Fufu, Ran-chan died. Ahh, did she ever give me stomach holding laughs with the idiotic crap she'd spud, it truly sent me into a fit of laughter.

HINOTE- Ran..chan...? (Ran-chan..? Dead..? I'm way too confused right now... And just how do these people keep popping out from..!)

Who is this Ran-chan you speak off..?

LAITO- Hmm..? Oh isn't that laughable as well, has he not told you yet..? Here I was thinking you two were really close.

HINOTE- Told me.. what..?

AYATO- Maan.. Just thinking about that day gives me some real headache, I have a fucking scar on my arm from all the scratching she did.

KANATO- Hey teddy.. Don't you remember her face..? It was funny right..? I have it imprinted in my mind.. You to right..?

HINOTE- ..?... (Could they perhaps be talking about the stuff Shiro-kun told me..? About his parents..?)

LAITO- Ufu, I'll tell you a little gist of the past kay..?~

Ran-chan is the nickname I have for Shiro's mother, to me she was so cute and innocent like a little orchid flower,

She got crushed like one to, Shiro's father was our kind older brother who challenged Reiji to dule for some odd reason, then he died and lost right in front of her eyes, right as he learned she was pregnant with as you know as Shiro,

Poor Ran-chan. She gave birth on her own in her bedroom, then gave birth and mean old Reiji came in annnd..

HINOTE- What did.. Mr. Reiji do..? I mean.. I know his parents passed on and all already.. He never really gave me the full story..

LAITO- So curious, I'll tell you more I suppose.

He took Shiro right out of her hands and then.. Killed her.

HINOTE- ..!!... K-killed her..? Even though she just gave birth..?! And not only that..! But killed the father of her child right in front of her eyes

LAITO- Sniff sniff.. Such a sad ending, I find kinda funny though

HINOTE- Funny..?! How on earth is that funny to you..?! Isn't Shiro your nephew, you shouldn't find your nephews parents death funny..!

AYATO- Woah.. Hit a nerve there, I don't really feel too much empathy towards the kid. I mean it's kinda sad but what's the point in feeling sorry..?

KANATO- I in general don't feel a thing for him, I hate children.. Noisy bratty and little greedy idiots.

HINOTE- Ah.. You all nothing for him..? Even though he has to deal with so much.. He thinks he's a monster..!

AYATO- Is that our problem..? Hey if you're gonna start whining and shit go whine to your boyfriend.

HINOTE- Hmph..! I think I will..! All of you are heartless..! Heartless people..!

*Hinote runs off*

*SLAM*

AYATO- ...

Is anyone gonna talk about the fact he didn't say anything about the boyfriend part..?

*SCENE IS IN OUTSIDE SCHOOL ENTRANCE*

HINOTE- Ahh.. I couldn't find him anywhere... You'd think I would based on all those girls humping his leg like some group of tiny loud dogs..

Hmph.. (still though.. Hearing the actual story gives me chills.. and the fact that his uncles just so heartless..!)

*Loud chattering can be heard*

HINOTE- Hmm..? (what's that..)

Uwah..! Sh-shiro-kun..!

SHIRO- ... (I have never had such a urge to hit a women before.. much less a group of women..)

(get them off of me..!!)

FEMALE STUDENT 1- Are you sure you don't want to hangout later..? I'm 100% free.

SHIRO- I don't.. Now get out of my sight.. please.

FEMALE STUDENT 2- Hmm.. So mean.. Haah.. Fine fine, I'll go to karaoke by myself then.

FEMALE STUDENT 1- Byee~

*The girls leave*

SHIRO- ..Haah.. Haah...

HINOTE- Uh.. Shiro-kun..? Are you okay..-

SHIRO- Shut up.. For one minute.. You talk too much..

HINOTE- Too.. much..? I see... I'll be.. quiet. I'm sorry..

...

*SCENE CHANGES TO HALLWAY*

SHIRO- ... (So annoying.. Women are by far the worst.. The girls here are even more god awful.)

Haah.. (my parents cursed me with my appearance.. and their family problems.. how annoying is all of this.. I just wanna go to my room an lay down and sleep.. sleep for the rest of my life...)

Hm..? Uh..

(This room.. It's the one next to me Hinote's. I don't know why.. But this smell to this room is.. So oddly familiar yet I can't put my thumb on it.. It's so.. the smell burns my noise... Just who and what happened in this room..? And why do I feel attachment to it..?)

(It's the same with the room next to it.. That one isn't half as bad but.. It's as if I knew the people who had these rooms..)

(Should I open this door..?)

--OPEN DOOR (if this where a game regardless he would open the door)

--DON'T OPEN THE DOOR

*Shiro opens the door*

*CREEEEEKK*

SHIRO- ..!!... (This smell..!)

*SCENE CHANGES TO INSIDE BEDROOM*

SHIRO- ... (This room is so.. clean yet this.. strong smell is.. Argh.. What a pain in the ass..)

???- I figured you'd go into this room at some point, although I didn't expect so soon.

SHIRO- ..!... Ah.. (It's that guy..)

Hey.. What's this room..? There's this smell about it.. I can't put my tongue on it though.. You're the elder here answer my questions.

REIJI- Hmph.. How expected of that dead-beats child to be the type to want the answers right away instead of finding out himself.

SHIRO- Dead-beat..? Listen, I just want answers.. The whole place is weird and filled with a group of weirdo's along with it.

REIJI- I suppose I'll enlighten you. Just a bit.

Although I do have a question, just what does this smell you speak about make you think of..? A person, a thing..? You've never lived here so..

SHIRO- That's not what I'm asking.. (man this guy is annoying.. I hate people like him)

I don't know.. Just.. I feel like I've known someone who had this room before. I don't.. It's just weird.. A part of me feels like I've been in this room before..

REIJI- Really now, hoh you are right about two things. I truly wonder who was it you knew.. I just can't remember, haha. Come now don't pull that face. It's truly disgusting. Your face just screams that deadbeat.

SHIRO- Just get to the point. I'm not talking to you to mess around.

REIJI- Haah.. Children are handfuls.. "I want I want"..

The very room your standing in right now.. Is the room which your own mother slept in, cried and many other of her hobbies in here, including dying in here while giving birth to you

SHIRO- ..!!...

REIJI- Pfft.. what's with the face, I do have to say it's quite a funny one. I wonder what type of face you'd pull if I told you the room that's also next to yours is your fathers.

*Shiro looks away.*

REIJI- Gn.. Hahaha.. Happy now..? You got what you asked for so why do you seem so upset..? Do you wanna more..?

Your begged me, oh how she begged me to let her hold you for just a minute longer, I remember how she fell to the floor. the last words she said to me was

"Shiro" what a sad weak and pathetic women she was--

*Shiro runs out*

REIJI- ...

My my, I think I'm gonna have plenty fun with this. I wonder what he'd be saying right now..

*SCENE CHANGES TO SHIRO'S AND HINOTE'S ROOM*

SLAM

SHIRO- Haah.. Haah.. Haah..

(So that's what that smell was.. That strong and awful smell.. Does the world just hate me..? Did he do this on purpose..? Why.. Why..?!)

HINOTE- Shiro-kun..? Are you okay..?

SHIRO- Ah..

Yeah.. Mind your own business..

HINOTE- Are you sure..? You came in here pretty loudly.

SHIRO- I'm.. I'm fine.. You're going to bed right..? Then do that..

HINOTE- ...

I heard.. What you and your uncle said in the room.. That those two room we're between, are your parents.. I learned.. The whole story today.. Hey..

*Hinote holds Shiro's shoulder*

HINOTE- I want to let you know.. I'm gonna make nothing happens to you, I'll make sure of it, even if I have to face some scary vampires, if it means you can be happy and your safe, then I'll do it.

I.. Don't want to see you in pain like this..

SHIRO- ...

My mom.. Her name meant "violet"... I was told she was as pretty as one.. In my home, my uncle put a massive photo of her.. I felt so sick looking at it.. So sick I had to take a few minuets just to walk into that entrance...

My mother was.. A truly beautiful women..

My dad.. I have no idea what he looks like besides he has blonde hair and his name...

HINOTE- What.. was your parents name..?

SHIRO- It was.. Sumire.. And Shuu...

HINOTE- I see.. Your parents have nice names.. Hey, let's not dwell on this right now, I'm sure you've had a long day. Get some rest.

*Hinote holds Shiro's hand leading him to his bed. Shiro places his head on Hinote's lap*

SHIRO- Hey.. Hinote...

HINOTE- Mhm.. What is it..?

SHIRO- I'm.. Sorry about the things I said today...

HINOTE- Uh.. Haha.. It's alright... There's no reason to say sorry. Just sleep okay..?

SHIRO- Mhm... (Yeah.. Sleep... Maybe I won't wake tomorrow.. Live in a endless dream..)

(I want to never wake up again)

--TO BE CONTINUED--

SHIRO'S STORY AFTER STORY -- SHIRO'S STORY 2