#which isn't bad or anything but i feel like he'd be friends with sango before miroku since they seem to mesh better

[fuedalreesespieces]

one thing that always gets me whenever i read inuyasha modern au fics is that inuyasha is supposedly "the slacker" or the guy who doesn't try hard on anything academia related, and that always struck me as odd bc you're telling me inuyasha wouldn't be competing with, say, koga for rank 1? that he wouldn't study his ass off in the subjects he's actually interested in? that he wouldn't pour his everything into extracurriculars he cares about? he has his aloof moments in canon but ultimately he's a hard worker and i think that trait should be reflected in aus!

plus if we're thinking about the setting here, inuyasha's canon behavior is greatly influenced by his upbringing (and later lack thereof). putting him in an environment (modern au, lack of youkai discrimination) where his talents are cultivated instead of looked down upon would give us a very different character. it's always interesting to me whenever i see canon-typical inuyasha behavior in an au where his mom is alive because it suggests that his mistrust and gruff behavior are just part of his personality and not largely a result of childhood events. i feel like modern aus are an opportunity to see how he might have grown if not for the death of his mother + father & the consistent threat looming over him as a child. what would his personality be like then? how would his first meeting with kagome go considering that? his dynamics with his older brother? his goals? it's something that could be explored in a fic taking place in the feudal realm but it's kind of difficult to just subtract the discrimination aspect that comes with that setting...just things to think abt ig!

[mrfeenysmustache]

And I’m Home

An Inuyasha Songfic

Pairing: InuKag

Rating: T

Song: Arms by Christina Perry

Summary: A certain hanyou's internal musings on a certain miko's place in his life, and in his heart. One Shot. Fluff.

Can be found on AO3 here:

~*I never thought that You would be the one to hold my heart*~

Inuyasha walked ahead of the group as they trudged along under the warm sun in search of shards or Naraku or rumors of shards or Naraku. They'd been making steady progress all day, and though the temperature was on the warmer side, there was a nice breeze at their backs that kept them all in good spirits. Even Inuyasha felt himself start to relax, which was rare for the high-strung hanyou. Another breeze kicked up from behind them, carrying Kagome's sweet, soothing scent to his nose. He was alone at the front, so he closed his eyes and breathed in every last trace of that beloved scent, allowing it to settle deep within him and chase out any lingering tension. He felt something soft and fuzzy brush up against his cheek and instantly that tension was back.

‘Shit, I forgot Kirara was hitching a ride.' he thought in a panic. He glanced over to her where she sat on his shoulder, and he could read the amusement in her eyes plain as day. She purred at him and rubbed his cheek again, clearly communicating to him how humorous she found his actions.

"If you want to keep your free ride for the day, you'll shut it. Unless you'd like to go play with the runt some more, he seemed to be having a grand ol' time yankin' on your tails."

Kirara wrapped her tails around her body and hissed at him, then curled up against his neck and closed her eyes for a nap. Inuyasha chuckled at her and reached up scratch her between the ears.

"That's what I thought."

~*But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start*~

Inuyasha watched Kagome over the campfire. She was hunched over one of the stupid school books she insisted on dragging everywhere, using the fire to read the words on the pages. The warm, orange light of the flames danced across her skin and shimmered in the locks of her hair that had fallen over her shoulder. He was struck, not for the first time, by how beautiful, how vibrant and bright she was. These were thoughts he was only just now comfortable admitting to himself inside his own mind.

He'd wrestled with these feelings for months, trying to fight them down and deny them. He hoped that if he ignored them enough, if he tried hard enough to chase the little miko sitting before him away, then he could move on with his life like he knew she would do, once this was all over.

She was the most unusual person he'd ever known. From the minute they'd met, she'd gotten under his skin in a way no one else ever had. She had shown no fear or derision toward him, no disgust, she was not horrified by him. She had stomped her foot and raised her voice and challenged him, and the way she looked at him and spoke to him, to him, not at him, intrigued and incensed him. No matter how hard he pushed, she pushed back just as hard. She was from almost another world entirely, so different and untouchable, and so completely annoying in ways he didn't know a person could be. She was the last person he thought he'd end up feeling anything like this for, but there she was, and here he was, and he wasn't sure what to do with it.

Suddenly he found himself staring into her strange blue eyes, the firelight flickering in them and making them glow. He blinked himself out of his daze and she gave him one of her brilliant, blinding smiles before returning her attention to her books.

'Feh,' he thought to himself in disgust. He needed to get himself together. This was not the time or place for such sappy shit, not with Naraku out there. He jumped up into a nearby tree, settled on one of the sturdier branches near the middle, leaned against the trunk, and closed his eyes.

~*I believe that it's easier for you to let me go*~

Realizing that she might have some similar feelings toward him scared him more than just about anything. Now, he might not be as well versed in these types of things as some pervert like Miroku was, but he wasn't as stupid as everyone seemed to think he was. This time he wished he was. Believing that his feelings were one sided, futile, never to go anywhere was safe enough as long as no one else realized it. No one can use a hanyou's feelings against him if they don't know what they are. Especially when those feelings are of the more romantic nature. It was foolish and pointless, nothing could come of it. Feelings between a miko and a hanyou? He had seen how well that had gone the first time he'd tried it.

So as much as it pained him, as good as it made him feel to know that she may look on him with love in spite of his status as a hanyou, he had to keep his distance. She would come to her senses soon enough, she was a smart girl.

~*How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around*~

Inuyasha understood that Kagome needed space after one of his controversial Kikyo visits, so he wasn't surprised when she requested to ride on Kirara instead of with him the next morning. He knew they upset her, and he knew she tried her best to understand. He wasn't sure she ever really could. He owed Kikyo a lot. It was because of him that she was dead, after all. If he'd been smarter, faster, stronger, trusted her more... he glanced over at Kagome, riding behind Sango and Kirara, and felt an increasingly familiar doubt encroaching on those thoughts again.

~*I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown*~

Since they'd gotten closer, he'd had more and more trouble convincing himself that he was the only one to blame for what had happened between he and Kikyo all those years ago. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing. He was sure if he asked Kikyo, she would assure him that it wasn't a good thing. He had begun to suspect that his guilt was the only thing tying him too her. He'd also begun to suspect that she had known that all along. Thinking such things about Kikyo was not normal for him. It made him feel grouchy and uncomfortable, so he did the only thing he knew how to do. He increased his efforts to push Kagome away. One of these days it would work. And if he kept telling himself that, maybe he'd start to believe it, too.

~*I hope that you see right through my walls*~

"Inuyasha, if you want to come with me, you only have to say so. You know you're always welcome."

He stopped and gaped at her, wondering how she always saw through his blustering to what he was really trying to say. He snapped his jaw shut and spun away from her, crossing his arms over his chest.

“FEH! Like I'd want to go stay in your loud, stinky time, wench. I just don't trust that you'll come back on time is all." He felt her fingers close around one of his ears, and his eyes popped open and a blush settled on his cheeks. She giggled as she rubbed the fuzz on the back of his ear before he could shake her hand off. He glared at her, but she simply beamed up at him before continuing her trek to the well.

"Whatever you say Inuyasha, but the offer still stands. You know Mama loves you!"

He watched her walk halfway down the path before huffing and following along behind her.

"Alright wench, I'll come. But only to make sure you don't get distracted from coming back on time like you always do!"

"Of course Inuyasha! What other reason could you possibly have for coming?"

He wasn't sure he liked the way she'd said that, and he pointedly ignored the victorious grin on her face. He simply jumped in the well after her.

~*I'll never let a love get so close*~

Kagome's head rested on his shoulder as she gazed up at the stars. He tried to relax and not be so tense, but he still wasn't used to someone, anyone being so comfortable with him, being so okay with being this close to him. Kagome did this a lot. She would take his hand, rest her head in his shoulder, ride on his back, hug him, link her arm with his... touch his ears. And she did it all with no fear, no shame, no hesitancy. Like she was doing now.

"Isn't it beautiful Inuyasha?"

When he didn't answer, she nudged him with her elbow. He jumped, and her giggle at the startled look on his face tickled his ears.

"Uh... what wench?"

"I said, isn't it beautiful?"

"I guess. Just a bunch of stars."

"There's nothing 'just' about the stars Inuyasha. They're amazing!"

"If you say so."

"Well I do!"

"Bossy wench." He nudged her back, and she giggled again, a light, tinkling sound that settled in his soul and made him feel warm.

*~The world is coming down on me And I can't find a reason to be loved*~

Walking through villages was always a sure fire way to put him in a bad mood. He tried his best to tune out the whispers of the villagers, their derogatory comments and suspicions about him. Most of the time he was able to ignore them. Sometimes he was not.

The sound of his friend's laughter behind him brought him out of his dark introspection. They could never hear what the villagers were saying with their human ears, and he would never tell them.

Before he could spiral too far into more dark thoughts about being alone, Kagome gasped and ran forward. She grabbed him by the arm and tugged him forward. He followed her the short distance to the edge of the village, then up the small hill just on the outskirts. She stopped when she reached the top and pointed out toward the unbroken view of the sunset they now had.

"Oh Inuyasha. Isn't it beautiful?!"

She wrapped her fingers around his upper arm and leaned her head against his shoulder. He looked down at her, took in her soft smile as she gazed out over the setting sun, heard her soft, content sigh. He laid his own head down on top of hers.

"Yeah. Beautiful."

~*I never wanna leave you But I can't make you bleed if I'm alone*~

Inuyasha watched over Kagome as she dipped her feet in the cool water of a nearby stream. She lifted her feet out and wiggled her toes, and he fought not to growl at the red, blistered skin covering them. She glanced back at him and her brow furrowed, no doubt concerned by the look on his face that betrayed all of his guilt and worry. She cleared her throat to grab his attention, and then smiled reassuringly at him, patting the grass beside her.

"Why don't you stick your feet in, Inuyasha? The water feels lovely!"

He said nothing, just continued to glare at the distorted image of her feet through the trickling stream water.

"Oh don't be such a grump. They're fine, see?" She lifted her feet and wiggled her toes again, smiling brightly in an effort to convince him. She dropped her feet back down and the water splashed around them.

“Mama took me straight to the healers in my time, and I was given very effective herbs to treat them. I've been taking very good care of them, and Kaede has been helping me change the bandages everyday. You should be proud!"

He looked up at her then, unable to hide the pained look in his eyes and she gasped. As usual, she knew what he was saying without him even needing to say it. He would always be thankful for that little power of hers.

“Inuyasha, this is not your fault. I wanted to stand with you in that oni's stomach. Whether you wanted me there or not. I told you I'd always be by your side, didn't I? I'm happiest when I'm with you. Even if that means burning my feet in an oni's gut juice, so drop it."

He felt a reluctant smile stretch across his face, and her own answering smile practically sparkled. She lifted one of her feet and flicked the water droplets on it at him. One landed on his nose, and he crossed his eyes to see it. He growled low in his chest, and his smile became predatory.

"You'll pay for that wench."

She stood up and squealed before dashing off down the edge of the stream. Inuyasha leapt after her, and Kagome giggled as she avoided his grasp. Her shriek as he tossed her in the stream was heard all the way back in the village.

~*And I've never opened up, I've never truly loved 'till you put your arms around me*~

Saying goodbye to Kikyo proved to be both harder and easier than he'd thought it would be. Harder, because she wasn't simply finding peace on her own. Naraku had gotten his hands on her again, and he hadn't been able to save her from him. Again.

Easier because of the young woman who was with him now. He'd learned a lot about himself because of her. Most importantly, was that he was not the monster most believed him to be. And he was not at fault for what had transpired fifty years ago with Kikyo. It was her love and belief in him that had allowed him to see and accept that. It was then that he was able to move on, and actually hope for a life and future that didn't find him completely alone... or in hell.

Watching her now, as she spared him a sweet smile while listening to Shippo explain his latest crayon drawing, he allowed himself the hope that maybe a certain someone else might be a part of that future.

~*You put your arms around me and I'm home*~

Pulling Kagome out of that well after being without her for three long years was a moment Inuyasha would never forget. Ever. The sight and smell of her, the feel of her in his arms burst back into vivid reality, so sharp and tangible and right there so suddenly that his head spun. He had not forgotten one single detail about her, but he found that his memories, no matter how complete, paled in comparison.

“Inuyasha, were you waiting for me?"

'Yes.' He wanted to say. 'Always.' There were a hundred other heartfelt things he wanted to say, so many sweet words that she deserved to hear. But this was him after all, so when he opened his mouth, what came out wasn't exactly what you would call poetry.

“You idiot, what have you been up too?"

Well. He'd certainly been less eloquent before. He'd work on it.

When Sango and Miroku reached the end of the well path, he couldn't find it in himself to be embarrassed that Kagome lingered in his arms, and he took all of Miroku's good natured teasing over the course of the rest of the day with a smile. Having her with him again, being surrounded by her scent and her light and her presence, he had never felt so at peace, so content.

So at home.

~*You put your arms around me and I'm home*~