#which is why persona 3 reloaded sounds so different

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Homestuck album with misused sample music

Remember Teal Seer from Homestuck? The music wasn't composed by the Homestuck fan that created it.

Teal Seer is actually sample music from 2007, from the album FANTASY TALES by Paul Lawler (a composer for Spyro: A Hero's Tale of all things).

It was shared in the programme "Myna" which is where it's believed Kera Jones got the track from.

Teal Seer isn't the only track in Colours and Mayhem with unlicensed stock music, it's also present in the track Jade Sylph, but is edited more heavily.

For further context, "Colours and Mayhem" is an album that a bunch of fans made submissions to in a contest with each other. The WhatPumpkin/Homestuck team at the time are the ones who selected these tracks as their final choices.

It makes sense that some younger fans submitted stock music, edited or unedited, thinking that they were making a cool sounding track, and that the homestuck team failed to see that it was stock music.

However, where things get legally tricky is that "Colours and Mayhem" has been on sale on Bandcamp for the past decade, and it's also present in the Homestuck comic through the Openbound videogame flash in act 6.

If the legal owners decide to take action against Homestuck, especially now they've been informed of this use, then it's possible Teal Seer and several other tracks will be removed from Homestuck and bandcamp entirely.

[hopeymchope]

My progressive reactions to the Persona 3 Reload news/announcements

ATLUS: Persona 3 Reload is real, and it's coming to XBox Series X! ME: Fuck YES! ONLINE RETAILER: It's also coming to PS4, PS5, PC, and Nintendo Switch. ME: ...okay I wish Switch was getting it but STILL GREAT NEWS!! ATLUS: But it's only going to include the content from the worst version of Persona 3. No FeMC or any of her social links/unique characters from P3P, no 'The Answer' from FES -- just vanilla Persona 3, now prettier. Now you can debate which of these THREE versions is the right one to play instead of just debating TWO! ME: .....what the fuck. WHY would you do that. I mean... god, I guess I'll still pick it up. But in the wake of five years of exploiting the fandom's love for FeMC and the fact that The Answer hasn't been available ever outside the PS2, why— ATLUS: And that's not all! ME: Wait no, stop, I'm still re-aligning my expectations, give me a sec- ATLUS: Obviously we were gonna have to replace Vic Mignogna as Junpei for the English voices, but what if we told you that we've replaced the ENTIRE VOICE CAST in English— ME: ok so wut the fuc ATLUS: —despite keeping the entire Japanese cast the same?!?! ME: WHAT?!?!?! WHY?!!!!!!!!!! ATLUS: That's right! The cast of voices you've known in Persona 3 FES, Persona 3 Portable, Persona 4 Arena, Persona 4 Arena Ultimax, Persona Q, and Persona 3: Dancing in Moonlight? They're FUCKING FIRED! Now, all the characters you know and love will suddenly sound TOTALLY DIFFERENT! ME: .....are you telling me... that I won't hear Karen Strassman's perfect robotic-yet-increasingly-emotional Aigis... ever again ME:

[talesfromthebacklog]

Tales From The Frontlog: Persona 3: Reload

10/10

It’s titles like Persona that make me go: “God damn, anime is so fucking cool.”

These are people who KNEW what they were doing when working on this remake. My only previous experience with Persona 3 was with Persona 3 Portable. And it shouldn’t be shocking that while good it didn’t have the same impact as Reload did. (Though I did still pick up P3P on Switch through Limited Run! As that was likely the cheapest we would ever see it.)

Reload completely blows P3P out of the park and has asserted itself as my favorite Persona game. (Persona 4 being my previous first favorite.). I completely destroyed this game and am sad the experience is over. (Had to get done quick so I could play Final Fantasy VII Rebirth on release!)

Persona 3: Reload is elegant, mature, wickedly stylish, and very sad. I love well written sad things. I’ve heard people call this title edgy, but that edge is what defines and makes this Persona so great. If not the best. You know what they say. The third time’s the charm! And Persona is an experience, for anyone who loves JRPGS, that people should have at least once.

Join me as I talk about Persona 3: Reload. A story of a teen named Makoto. Who just transferred to Tatsumi Port Island and awakened a powerful force by shooting himself in the head.

Persona 3 Reload is painfully stylish and cool. It’s gotten a lot of upgrades including a new voice cast. Which I think does a better job sounding more natural. Especially Bebe. The old crew did a phenominal job but I just like new performances better.

Also the amount of voice acting we got. Wow. Practically the whole thing has voice acting. Even all the social links. I think that might be a first, but don’t quote me on that.

Then there’s the art direction, which has been somewhat of a hot topic, but I like the new art assets better. The original artwork has an undeniable charm but the new stuff has this great polish.

Though I dare say the older art better lends to the “creepy” tone of the game. The traditionally beautiful anime faces do take away from that a little.

And this new look isn’t just the art assets and sprites, it goes as far as the menu.

I don’t say this often, but that’s hot. That menu is everything. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so strongly about a menu. I would fight a stranger in the parking lot if they told me this menu looked bad. It is so slick and sleek. It hurts because of how good this looks.

This? This gives me math folder vibes. I think this was why I was so much more drawn to Persona 4 in the first place.

Well. Not because of the menu. The menu is functional and doesn’t look awful by any stretch of the imagination. We all know that fully functional is a high bar for developers to reach nowadays.

But each Persona, from 1 - 5 and now to Reload, was a step into stronger art direction. Each Persona contributed something new artistically to get it to its current state of intense stylization. Persona 3 Reload is simply a culmination of all these steps forward. It makes me feel bad for not touching the main Shin Megani Tensei series at all. Because I don’t get to see the artistic history from it that could have contributed to Persona. I’m aware I’m missing out and need to correct that! Ha!

TLDR: Persona 3: Reload is so ✨PRETTY✨.

Then there’s the gameplay. Persona ranks among my favorite JRPGs because it has so much side stuff to do. Persona at its core is two different kinds of games. A life sim and a JRPG. If you get bored with one half you can go hang out in the other. Excellent. Brilliant. Love it. Persona is a great ADHD person game. It also gives the game a nice contrast between the light and dark elements. A narrative rest, so to speak. Also the difficulty modes. I’m not afraid to say I prefer normal mode. Some grinding is fine but I hate excessive grinding in games. I feel it overshadows the game. Though without some grind you just have a glorified visual novel. It’s all about balance and personal taste I suppose. But I’m of the belief that grinding doesn’t make a game hard. It makes it time consuming which makes it look like the game is hard. But this is not the same thing! Persona just… GETS that I don’t want to grind for that long.

I love JRPGs, but I tend to run hot and cold with them. I think a lot of them do really suffer from being too samey in their initial presentation. The style and identity the Persona series has is 100% what kept me playing after a friend lent me his Vita to play. He insisted upon it as he handed me Persona 4 Golden.

He was right. Persona was awesome. Persona 3 Reload makes me feel those same feelings when I had that initial introduction to the franchise. I do feel genuinely wowed by this title. Which I don’t feel often in gaming. My favorite part about it is it is set in the modern era. Swords and dragons are nice, but different time periods come with different ideologies, cultures, and challenges. Persona takes the “familiar” and uses that premise to flip your world upside down. And that each one goes with a different aesthetic.

God I hope they remake or rerelease 1 or 2. Or both.

Anyway.

Persona 3 additionally is just so… sad. Persona 4 has those sad moments too but I just feel those main and side stories hit harder in Persona 3. The ending is a sad gut punch. I love it. Like any great visual novel character interactions and story can make or break the experience. And Persona 3 only managed to sharpen those interactions with the newer voice acting and the retranslated script. The whole feel is a lot less awkward.

Then there’s the music. If you didn’t watch the intro I posted in the beginning, do yourself a favor and do so as you read please.

Oh? You’ve heard the song before? Are you saying you don’t want to listen to this jazzy and funky soundtrack again? Heresey I say!

Oh? You don’t want to scroll back up? No problem fam. I’m gonna post the full track here.

And the whole soundtrack is this good. This is just a taste. Ugh. It’s so good. It is both energizing and soothing. I ask you to listen purely because my words can’t do it justice.

I am recognizing what a mistake it was not to play the full console version and what a crime it is that they ported P3P over Persona 3 itself. It had an anime too, did it not? Like a movie or something?

Let’s not start with the FES mess. They’ve basically said it’s not being included even as DLC. I’m just going to play it separately, and by the good grace of god you don’t have to play the whole game over to play “The Answer” arc. (Which I’ll post an update on that when I do that. Someday.)

I can take or leave the female protagonist. I want a female protagonist, but in P3P she was always kind of an empty husk that you knew wasn’t the “real” main character. I don’t mind games where I play a character instead of myself. But I feel they could do a new unique perspective if they switched it up for Persona 6. Especially since they are nailing down some of the problematic elements of the series.

I’m aware that they’ve changed a lot from the original Persona 3 to Reload. But to be frank my memory has just never been that long lasting or great. I can genuinely come back to most games after a certain amount of time and it’s like playing it brand new over again. A blessing and a curse. But I can remember Tartarus being a bigger pain in the ass than it is now. Tartarus also seems notably more varied in design as you climb. I feel like I am having a distinctly better time than the first time. (I may have to play a brief stint in portable to see if this is true.)

Side note: The Dark Hour as a concept in itself is a topic I want to cover in its own post at some point. This isn’t unique to Reload which isn’t why I’m not talking about a lot of elements like this (Because remake reviews should be more about what is improved) but it was still a genius way to fit in an alternate world.

At the end of the day, and right before the dark hour, Persona 3: Reload had no excuse to fail. The bones of the beast itself were so good. As long as you left it to simmer and caramelize this remake always destined to be great. It takes elements and tricks that made later titles great and Atlus applied all their learned skills here.

It’s stuff the Persona, and SMT, community already loved. And for good reason. It was already a compelling experience and it’s one I’m really glad I came back to. Playing it this way really changed how I felt about the game as a whole. Even without the extra content I’m going to say this is THE WAY to play Persona 3 from here on out. We’ll see if I feel that way after playing Persona 3: FES. But don’t expect to see that critique any time soon.

[twilightknight17]

Today on Royal: Pain! :’D

He’s eating the map and I’m getting steadily more weirded out by all of this the longer it goes on.

I’m definitely worried now. Where the fuck is the Velvet Room. How is he powerful enough to override the Velvet Room?

So he wants me to see “his reality”. Which means going out and seeing how happy all of Akira’s friends are. And they are happy! ...but not happy enough that a few well-placed dialogue choices can’t start poking holes in the story they’ve been fed. Maruki’s not perfect at this. And honestly, he’s taken Akira’s friends, not given him anything. We went from everyone wanting to spend time with Akira to everyone having other things to do. Ryuji doesn’t even know why they’re friends. Thinking about how they met is what starts to crack his illusion.

While I was looking for my friends, I ran across this couch outside the furniture store in Kichijoji.

Examining it yields only this:

So now I gotta go back to Kichijoji after it frees me from the plot so I can see what’s up with this conspicuously Velvet blue couch.

(I will say, if I have one complaint about this part, is that it’s six days of the same thing. Wake up, locate Friend, see how they’re doing, return home, spend evening in bed contemplating whether this is a good thing because Friend is happy. You can’t do anything else, see how any of your other confidants are doing... What does Iwai’s ideal world look like? Takemi’s? Hifumi’s?)

I think out of everyone I feel the most bad for Morgana.

I mean, he spends half the game as it is worrying that he’s some sort of monster instead of a human. And now that he’s human and I’ve gone and jabbed a hole in his dream, he’s spending a week growing more and more afraid as he realizes that something isn’t right about himself. That’s just straight-up existential terror.

Goro didn’t really find a lot during his week of investigating. Mostly just that Maruki’s been doing cognitive psience stuff since college, and that Okumura and Wakaba are...actually alive.

Does that mean if we end the dream, we’re murdering them?

Not taking the Misericorde with me feels like a betrayal of my role as heir to the title of Trickster, but I can’t really turn down an extra thirty points of attack. X’‘‘D Especially since Goro and I are going into the Palace alone.

Other than the weird security cameras, this place really is beautiful. And apparently the music that I like so much is called “Gentle Madman”. Stop hitting all these fucking tropes I like, Maruki. It’s not fair.

Oh heck, wait, are we doing this now? This is an actual question? I assumed that was for the endgame. Well, if I’m here... The safe room was right downstairs...

Let me be selfish. Just for one moment. Please.

Please.

.....no, wait, this hurts.

This hurts a lot.

Because they deserve this. They all deserve this happiness. I’ve never heard Goro sound that genuinely happy as he did in this ending. But the only way to give them this is to leave them trapped under the will of a dictator. And they deserve better than that.

From the Den:

They’re looking at you. Judging you for the sin of the choice you made.

I find it interesting that while Akira and Goro are clearly looking at you with full knowledge of what you did, the game itself doesn’t seem particularly judgemental. I got the “view the ending” trophy and the option to save clear data, which to me implies that it’s...obviously the wrong choice, but a valid choice regardless. I never got the “Good” Ending in vanilla P5, so I don’t know if that offered the same level of legitimacy. This was treated as a real ending.

[reloading save data]

Of course we can’t accept this reality, why would he even think we would do that? X’‘D

Sumire is throwing a fit because she still wants to be Kasumi, and is getting ready to fight us. Shit. Still, she’s inexperienced, and both of us are strong enough to han--

Goro: I could deal with this, but I’m assuming you want her to leave here alive, right?

It’s sweet of you to take what I want into consideration, but yeah, I’d really rather not kill her, so just tone it dow-- Aaaaand he’s walking away and leaving me to fight her alone. Thanks, honey.

Shoutout to using the same strategy as the battle arena and just equipping something that repels physical. She took her own swords dance to the face and got knocked out.

......what the fuck are you doing? This just looks like torture.

I know for a fact that that’s not Nyarlathotep because I’m pretty sure I’d have had people beating down my door to point it out already. Because crucifixion pose by itself? Common imagery. Tentacles? ...coincidence, probably. But if this had been Nyar puppeteering Maruki or something? I’m one step away from being Super Duper Valid. I already feel pretty valid anyway.

HELLO, Persona 3! Nice(?) to see an out of control persona again. I wonder how close her persona was to reverting to a shadow? Sumire feels like more of a “dungeon�� sort of person. Since she’s suppressing something.

But...what was Maruki’s goal here? Beating us into submission? He’s just letting Sumire’s emotional torment go out of control; hell, he’s literally feeding into it with the Biyarkis. He’s using her to fight us, and that’s...disgusting, honestly. You want everyone to be happy, but you’re going to let her throw herself at us over and over? Really?

Why do I feel like all of this “I want you to understand, we can talk, you’ll see things my way”, all of this asking for consent, is bullshit? Does he really want us to see things his way? Or can he actually not alter our reality without consent?

Thank god for the cavalry because this battle was clearly impossible from the first round. I love that the other Thieves have no idea what the fuck is going on, but their leader is in danger so they’re gonna Fight.

I think there’s not. We don’t want to talk. Fuck off. And also stop swiping tropes I like. You’re not Rubicante; you’re not earning my respect by refusing to fight me when I’m tired.

Goro, I know you’re Done with everything, but that’s really not helping.

The Phantom Thieves are momentarily baffled, because it’s clear that we have to change Maruki’s heart, but they’re getting thrown off by the fact that he’s not “evil”. Yeah, he’s not. He has good intentions. But he’s doing bad things to accomplish those intentions. Doing bad things for good reasons is still bad.

...if he wasn’t like this... maybe it would be okay. If he could make everyone happy, erase their trauma, make the world better...without rewriting memories or being a brainwashing dictator... That might not be wrong. But he’s made it pretty clear that he’s on a power trip and doesn’t want dissent, which is no better than Yaldabaoth.

What we did to Futaba and what he’s doing are vastly different things.

...Morgana calls her “Lady Lavenza” and that’s really cute, actually. I’m realizing I portray Lavenza as more of a child than the game does, but I like both.

Oh so now we can press Morgana for what’s wrong. Learned from your prior mistakes, huh, ‘Kira? XD

.....I love her.

It’s extremely weird to have the whole squad interacting with the Velvet attendant and addressing her by name. That’s so strange in comparison to how it usually is. But these are strange times, and once again, it’s unnerving how much power Maruki has.

He’s strong enough that he’s suppressing the Velvet Room. That’s horrifying. I wonder if he knows they exist; I could see him considering them a threat to his ideal world. Normally I’d be sure that Igor and Lavenza could kick his ass if he tried anything, but... I genuinely don’t know anymore. Igor is still recovering from being imprisoned, and Lavenza is barely able to manifest to talk to us.

Meanwhile, Maruki is using a persona.

Normally I’d be fussed about him summoning in reality, but apparently reality is still half-fused with Mementos, which in the greater scope of Persona lore feels like something similar to what was happening in P1 and P2. The collective unconscious is very close to the surface. I’d be curious whether or not the kids could summon outside of the Palace with a bit of practice, but I’m sure the game won’t go into that.

...although, that doesn’t explain him being able to use his powers in reality before the beginning of the year. Mementos only started fusing with reality in December.

I’m looking directly at you, Atlus. You made a human villain stronger than what I imagined for the strongest persona-user?

......oh, Mona, I’ve got like 3 different notes documents for you to read about why that can be allowed. X’D

*cracks knuckles*  Not to take Goro’s side, but...we already killed one god, didn’t we?

But...this is our fault, and we have to fix it. I don’t completely understand how Maruki granting the Thieves’ wishes transferred the belief of the masses to him, but... This can’t go on. If Mementos completely fuses, this becomes permanent, and there will be no way out. Time to go.

I really do appreciate that Goro was invited as one of the Phantom Thieves. And Ryuji asked for his input on whether we’re going after Maruki.

...you all said it. He’s one of you now. No take-backs.

[idontneednofuckinhug]

My 2018 Top 15 albums of the year

2018 was a stupidly productive year in terms of music, the last time there was this much quantity and quality of great projects and artists was probably the early 2010s when a lot of the current crop of big names were only just making a name for themselves. As a wannabe music critic I figured I'd enjoy writing and sharing the albums I've enjoyed the most this year - when I started making the list I realized exactly how much dope projects there were this year and how hard would it be for me to rank anything outside of my top 5, as I knew that was my top 5 before I even started making the list, but everything else was a nightmare. A lot of great projects, from some notable artists at that, were left out and honestly people would probably throw shit at me for some of the inclusions in my list. It's a list with a lot of musical styles and with a mix of proven artists and artists only just starting to make a name for themselves. Without further ado, let's start this list - I'll keep it brief for every album, whilst still trying to give the exact reason why I loved it.

15. J. Cole - KOD Never in my life did I think I'd rate a J. Cole album as one of my favourites of the year, I always called him a corny, fake-woke nigga who I just couldn't enjoy, because of wack bars like "You can't outfart me". Well, I was proven wrong, this year the guy made a complete 180 in the rap industry and proved people like me wrong. The project included a lot of trap beats, something completely new for him and was kept very minimalistic in terms of lyrics, whilst still making a great point and making comments on social issues, especially on songs like ATM and Kevin's Heart, discussing the curse that is money and how hard it is to be faithful nowadays. Genre: Conscious trap/Conscious rap.

14. Kali Uchis - Isolation Although she's been around for a bit, Kali Uchis's music still sounds very raw and she's still trying to find her sound in my opinion - and that's what I love about her. Isolation isn't an album you can put a label on - from Spanish pop, to RnB, to neo soul and even some hip-hop and funk, this album has everything and it's beautiful. Kali shows off her sexiness, whilst at the same time she sings about still being young and unsure about where she's going in her life, and about some of the decisions she wished she didn't do. The album is beautiful from start to finish, and although there are some blips ( I honestly didn't like the song with Gorillaz too much), I absolutely loved the passion and energy in this project. Genre: Pop/Rap/Funk/Neo Soul/ RnB/ Folk?

13. Sylvan LaCue - Apologies in Advance Probably a bit forgotten by most people since it was released on the 12th of January and because Sylvan is still relatively underground, AA is a very deep and emotional project, complemented by very jazzy and mellow production. Sylvan made an amazing concept album, showcasing the emotions you'd feel in an AA(Anonymous Alcoholics meeting), even adding 12 interludes for each step you have to take in such a meeting. The album promotes opening up about your inner demons and self-love and honestly I can't get enough of it even a year later. Genre: Jazz rap

12. Sons of Kemet - Your Queen is a Reptile An album I only just found out about, but one of my favourite jazz projects of all time after listening to it tens of times in the last week. Sons of Kemet don't seem to wear any influences on this album and have a completely unique and avant-garde sound which reflects on the album as a whole. Some parts are very mellow and traditionally jazzy and out of nowhere the song just picks up speed and starts adding tradionally african sounds, creating the feeling that you're back in the 19th century, hearing the immigrants from Africa playing their instruments. Each song represents a strong black woman from history and the album has lyrics discussing black plight. Genre: Avant-garde jazz/ Experimental jazz

11. Earl Sweatshirt - Some Rap Songs It's been a really hard year for Earl. His dad died and he never managed to amend their relationship, which was the original plan for SRS. I was very used to the typical Earl sound from the early to mid 2010s, mellow beats with very dark lyrics, with him changing flows up and making the english language his bitch. Nope. This album showcased a completely new Earl, with beats you'd never think he'd use but when you listen to him, you still know it's Earl with his crazy rhyme patterns and disgusting wordplay. The album feels like an acid trip from start to finish and my favourite Odd Future member manages to open up about his inner demons once again, and once again doing it amazingly. Genre: Hip-hop

10. KIDS SEE GHOSTS - Kids see Ghosts Out of nowhere, Kanye and Kid Cudi dropped a collab project, part of Kanye's five-drop in May and June. I wasn't expecting much as Cudi had disappointed me with his last few projects and I didn't really feel Kanye's "ye" too much. I was wrong. This album was amazing. Two people struggling with mental illness and loving themselves came out with an album with a completely new concept to both of them, discussing self love and redeeming yourself, finding what you love again. The album has this inspired production, which sounds like nothing I've ever heard, best described as psychedelic hip-hop or even rock. Although only 10th on my list, you need to listen to this album, because it's absolutely remarkable. Genre: Psychedelic Hip-hop/ Psychedelic rock?

9. Playboi Carti - Die Lit A lesson in minimalism. People have been biting Carti's style the last couple of years, whilst at the same time he's been getting a lot of crap for his lack of lyricism and the simplicity in his music. Instead of listening to all of the haters, Playboi Carti came out with a project which I'd say nearly perfects his style and what he's so good at - he lets the production and beats shine, having very minimalist lyrics and employing a vibe and energy no other trapper could create. He also mocks the people hating on him on the album with lyrics such as "Bought my mom a house of that mumblin' shit", reminding everyone where he's exactly at. Genre: Trap

8. Rico Nasty - Nasty I swear people forgot about Rico Nasty this year, although she released one of the most energetic and aggressive trap projects and honestly, bodying anything Nicki or Cardi dropped, quality wise atleast. She completely embraces her "different" persona on this album, having songs titles like "Bitch I'm Nasty" and having lyrics such as "Goodness gracious, I might give a fuck on some occasion". The album is full of this angry energy, making you want to go and break a door, whilst at the same time having witty and even humorous lyrics which keep your attention. Keep an eye on this one. Genre: Trap

7. Anderson .Paak - Oxnard Honestly, not as good as Malibu or Venice for me, but considering how high it is in my list, I think you can figure out exactly how great Andy is. This album really rejuvenates the spirit of funky and soulful hip-hop, with Paak keeping his carefree persona. It's full of groovy energy which makes you want to just dance and let go, whilst at the same time having some very funny skits and powerful and even aggressive moments. Whilst in his previous projects he had a very laid-back vibe, in this one Anderson .Paak shows us he's made it, and pretty much throws the funk and blues in your face, making for a very energetic, but relaxing listen. Genre: Hip-hop/Jazz rap/RnB/Funk/Soul

6. SABA - CARE FOR ME A very emotional and deep project, the Chicago rapper finally got the attention he deserved with his 2nd album. The album is very detailed and melancholic, in it SABA discussing issues he has with himself, the lack of love he feels he receives and the need of warmth and someone beside him. The album has beautiful singy-song moments, including a song with BJ the Chicago kid, but whilst pretty, these moments are also very dark and disturbing, as SABA often slurs his speech in them. He also discusses some of his childhood memories on the project, showcasing the hardships of growing up in a city like Chicago and the roots of some of his deep trauma. Genre: Jazz rap/ Neo soul

5. Denzel Curry - TABOO/TA1300 Dark. Angry. Powerful. Beautiful. Scary. This album has everything. The rapper split the album into three parts, which although a very new concept, proved to be a genius one. The light part of the album, which he starts it off with, shows him working on his happiness and showing everyone that his life is good and he's achieving his dreams. The second part of the album, Grey, showcases him reflecting objectively on the people hating on him, the hardships and successes of his life and the reality of the industry. The album ends with the Dark part, in which Denzel shows all of his anger, metaphorically shouting at the listener about his drug issues, about the people trying to tell him what to do and wanting to even go as far as murder. Genre: Trap/Hip-hop

4. Jpegmafia - Veteran Daaaaamn Peggy. The nigga who gives no fucks about anyone's feelings got it right. Already receiving some attention for absurd songs like "I killed a cop, now I'm Horny" and "I'd vote 4 Dona Trump", Jpegmafia made an experimental hip-hop album, consisting of raw energy and aggresiveness in some parts, and mellow and thoughtful production in others. The album has absurd samples like ODB screaming, WWE's Edge's soundtrack and guns reloading. Peggy raps about topics from wanting a nigga to test him, wanting to hear Yes Julz moan, addressing the people telling him he sold out and and even saying he doesn't care that Neogaf is dead. It's a genius work of art exploring the twisted depths of an army veteran's mind. Genre: Experimental hip-hop

3. Noname - Room 25 One of the softest and most soulful hip-hop albums of recent times, Noname once again proves how genius her lyrics can be, whilst keeping a jazzy vibe. The album is full of small details, from the proudction to the poet's lines telling the story of her life, from the beautiful to the ugly. Although at some points you can call her rapping rambling, she does so in a very soft and feminine way, reeling you in to actually want to hear more of her story, instead of being annoyed she isn't stopping. Full of relaxing and mesmerizing hooks, this album really reminds of the good old-school jazz vibe, mixed with genius storytelling and lyrics and keeping a fresh and new vibe to it, very much reminding me of A Tribe Called Quest in some regards. Genre: Neo Soul/ Jazz-rap

2. Armand Hammer - Paraffin Honestly this was my album of the year until the last few weeks, when a certain other person decided to finally drop his project. Billy Woods and Elucid once again go into the dephts of being a working-class rapper, with very hard hitting production, which although minimalistic, projects a very scary and even tiring vibe a some points, portraying what it's like to live life in a regular way. Full meaningful lyrics, and having some some very memorable hooks like "You don't work, you don't eat", Paraffin is an artistic expression of how hard it is to be an artist, whilst being unable to make enough money off of your art. Genre: Experimental hip hop

My honorable mentions, which sadly didn't make the list but were amazing projects still: Jorja Smith - Lost & Found; Pusha T - Daytona; Amine - ONEPOINTFIVE; Hermit and the Recluse - Orpheus vs the Sirens; Rae Sremmund - SR3MM; Rejjie Snow - Dear Annie; Sheck Wes - MUDBOY

1. JID - DiCaprio 2 I've known JID was next up for a year and a half now. He proved it in his last album, he proved it in the XXL Freshman class and he proved it with DiCaprio 2. Having the swagger and a nasally voice of a young K-dot, whilst having his own style, an absurd ability to switch up and create flows on the go, wordplay and lyricism which could rival even Ab-Soul and one-liners that stick like glue, JID released arguably the best project this year, hitting a mark as much as projects like Section.80 for me personally. Full of amazing production, from aggressive and trappy beats, to boom-bap, to jazzy rap and even having moments in which he sings. The Atlanta rapper comletely murders every beat, outraps every feature, including guys like Joey Bada$$, J. Cole, Method Man and 6LACK and makes 2018 his own with a project which in my opinion, will age like fine wine and will be remembered as the moment a modern legend was born. Genre: Jazz-rap/Conscious rap/ Hip-hop

[xtremedespair3d]

Happy New Year 2019 - 2018 Review: My Worst Year Yet

The end is near...

The end of the year and almost the end of the decade, we’re going to be at least one year away to enter 2020.

This was a good year, but as the title implies, there were some severe downs, but before I talk about my really long story about my experience with 2018, let’s start this post with the good old top 10s, but this time, I’m finally going to start from 10 to 1 because I’ve been doing the other way around for years and that’s not how it works. Not everything will have comments because I almost have no idea on what to write in some entries and don’t want to make more repetitive and simplistic than some of the entries of each list are.

This is indeed my longest Tumblr post yet, so I hope you enjoy:

Top 10 Best Anime: This list was honestly really difficult to make compared to the others, mainly because I watch a lot of anime and can’t choose which ones I really liked the most except for the final top 3. I would have liked to extend the list to Top 20, but I want to be consistent with the other lists (Sure there are shorter lists but I don’t want to go over 10).

10.- Toji No Miko: I’m highly indifferent with this series overall, the characters, the universe, the world building, etc., at least this was successful enough to spawn a game and now a spin-off series for Winter 2019 (Looks like they could be shorts but who knows), not the biggest franchise in existence but it’s got potential.

Despite my mild interest, my jokes that this looked like Kancolle (Because it features one of the character designers) and Touken Ranbu (just sword wielding) had a baby will live on.

9.- Fate/Extra: Last Encore: Another controversial Fate “adaptation” in recent memory. Yes, I was surprised and yelled like crazy in confusion with the changes from the game on the first episode alone, but despite this series turning tables from the game but still following how things went linearly, it’s not worth the hate or anything.

Some people have called it confusing, which... parts of it were but Last Encore is not worth the hate. It’s not by any means bad, you have to understand that it’s its own thing and what not.

Fate/Extra is probably my only Fate/Type-Moon media I got into before even getting into their anime adaptations, which I’m happy for it.

 8.- Darling in the Franxx: Alright, call me out on this one, but it did nothing wrong!

When it first started, there were mixed feelings for its fan servicey start with naked Zero Two, in the middle of the series, everything seems like it was going fine and I liked where the story was going, but then there was the Bitchigo controversy, it’s probably not the series’ breaking point, but at that point it looks like the hate was carried until the end.

Why do people hate Franxx? As if people were expecting too much on how should the story be or anything.

Trigger and A-1 may or may not sound like an interesting combo, but it looked like it was more A-1 than Trigger. As a Trigger fan (I’m more into their originals, adaptations don’t work for me), I really hope people don’t hate Trigger forever for Franxx, but who’s actually to blame here?

 7.- Steins;Gate 0: This one is a little controversial to add considering there was a lot of hate on it, I don’t get why, if the first season is considered a masterpiece, how could Steins;Gate 0 fail to follow the formula? (I’m an animeonly fag, what do you expect?)

 6.- Zombieland Saga: This one gets a big seal of approval as a birthday gift of mine (it came out on October 4th), and one of the best originals too.

Really hoping for a second season. (Don’t care if it’ll be as shit as Rage of Bahamut: Virgin Soul)

5.- Cells at Work! / Hataraku Saibou: This one wasn’t on my Summer 2018 radar until I saw the first two episodes and I immediately loved it.

Seems like those Osmosis Jones/Ozzy & Drix jokes got to convince me to watch it. (I actually only grew up with the Osmosis Jones movie, I never saw Ozzy & Drix in my entire life ;_;)

4.- My Hero Academia season 3.

3.- Devilman Crybaby.

2.- Pop Team Epic.

1.- Today’s Menu for Emiya Family / Emiya-san Chi no Kyou no Gohan: Another one of Ufotable’s visually departive series (Meaning that they’re different from their usual productions (God Eater also comes into this territory but not as visually different than Himuro no Tenchi and Emiya-san. Sure, Ufotable had different and the common solid color visuals back in the 2000s but nowadays seeing Ufotable taking this direction is amazing).

Since it’s a cooking show, I would definitely love to copy the recipes as told in the show (wonder if they’re good enough to make the food actually taste good), and I also had this tradition with a mutual of mine of watching every episode when they came out monthly (it’s a monthly series).

Honorable mentions:

Yuru Camp

B: The Beginning

A.I.C.O Incarnation

Golden Kamuy

Aggretsuko

Castlevania season 2

Touken Ranbu Hanamaru season 2: Since Winter 2018 feels like a long time, I genuinely forget this existed. 😂

Violet Evergarden

Dagashi Kashi 2

Overlord II, III

The Ryuuou’s Work is Never Done! / Ryuuou no Oshigoto!: I haven’t seen this Day 1, but I binged it a few months later.

Citrus

Lupin the 3rd Part 5

Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card

FLCL Progressive, FLCL Alternative

Yuuna and the Haunted Hot Springs

Senran Kagura: Shinovi Master Tokyo Youma Hen

SSSS.GRIDMAN

Ace Attorney season 2

Skull-face Bookseller Honda-san / Gaikotsu Shotenin Honda-san

Goblin Slayer

Gakuen Basara

High Score Girl

Top 5 Worst Anime:

Caligula: I always didn’t like the game, haven’t played it myself, but looking at it, the art is unappealing, the characters, the universe, pretty much everything, not even Persona 1 writer Tadashi Satomi would make the game any favors. (That’s mostly on the game, anime may differ but I just don’t care at all.).

Grancrest Senki / Record of Grancrest War: As someone who’s not really into the fantasy genre, but let’s be real, this one’s probably the most boring fantasy anime I’ve ever watched in my life.

Parts of it, like the political drama, was great, but everything else? I felt like I didn’t care at all, well, not always super ignorant, I dunno, it’s just that I wasn’t the biggest fan of this show.

Persona 5: The Animation: This one may be the worst Persona adaptation yet, the pacing was all over the place, animations on the fight scenes are weak, a gratuitous ending to the base series leading up to the special for New Year’s.

What about the surprise the director teased a while before the series began?

P5A was bad, but it wasn’t offensively bad, I’m not mad at it for being bad.

The time when the OVA, Dark Sun has come out, apparently they decided to announce ANOTHER OVA for March 2019 to conclude the story... Seems like there’s no end.

I’ve also been waiting for the surprise the director teased for so long and I don’t think as of the writing of this will ever get paid off.

Junji Ito Collection: At first I was intrigued on how they would capture the Junji Ito horror, but weeks later, as I kept watching it, it was feeling a bit boring, like it feels slow. Then I heard that it’s one of the worst anime of 2018 so far, that’s... actually quite exaggerating, well, it’s bad but it’s not THAT bad.

Tokyo Ghoul:re: Pierrot once again ruined Tokyo Ghoul, no surprise, but maybe even worse. From the obvious rushed story to the lackluster fight scenes, even the first Tokyo Ghoul season had better animated fight scenes.

Top 10 Best Movies:

10.- The Shape of Water: Technically it was 2017 film but it came out in Mexico like in January 12th iirc, I thought it was a good film, I’d need to watch more Guillermo Del Toro films, particularly the Hellboy films now that the reboot is coming out next year. 7.5/10.

9.- The Cloverfield Paradox: Quite optimistic that there’s a new Cloverfield movie since the original (over 10 years) and 10 Cloverfield Lane (2 years ago), but it turns out that it’s quite a flawed movie, It did nothing wrong! 7.5/10.

8.- Aquaman: Definitely my favorite DC film yet (GTFO Wonder Woman with feminism and everyone complaining on the final fight scene with overuse of CG (if it hurt the film that badly, then the film is not worth a 93% on Rotten Tomatoes), I definitely loved the VFX on Atlantis and the final fight with Ocean Master. Speaking of Ocean Master, I love that they animated his helmet eyes a la Deadpool. 8/10 - Rank: A.

7.- Overlord: Whether this would have worked as a Cloverfield movie or not, I love me some World War II zombie film by JJ Abrams. (Speaking of non-Cloverfield film, I would have liked to watch A Quiet Place.) 8.5/10 - Rank: A.

6.- Mission Impossible: Fallout: My first interaction with the Mission Impossible franchise was with the first film when I was at the English school I used to study, I would have liked to watch Rogue Nation when it came out in 2015 but I haven’t developed my habit of absolute moviegoer until 2017, now that they announced Fallout and will have Henry Cavill (with his mustache, the main reason for the Justice League mustachegate), I would not hesitate to see it.

Even if I have only seen the first film, this is already the best Mission Impossible film yet, definitely felt the thrills for the action and it make me like Henry Cavill more, especially the fucking arm reload.

Too bad August Walker died, but I couldn’t help to say “Superman died again but permanently.” Now I’m definitely looking forward for more Mission Impossible films. 9.5/10 - Rank: S+.

5.- My Hero Academia: Two Heroes: Since MHA is so popular, even in Mexico, there was always bound to be quite the mouthful fanboys in my theater, may be the most annoying experience yet but I wasn’t really annoyed as much as the next entries.

Just a heads up, the loud crowd in my cinema don’t really ruin my experience on seeing the movie. 9/10 - Rank: S.

4.- Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple: Our second anime movie experience and the one time we get to see an anime film on the afternoon because with My Hero Academia and Fate/Stay Night: Heaven’s Feel have been on the night.

The best thing about Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple is that it came out exactly on my sister’s birthday, August 25th.

My sister hasn’t seen Bungou Stray Dogs but she didn’t mind and accepted my request to go see it together, and I couldn’t be happier to see it on her birthday.

Not much to add on the loud crowd but the loudest ones were a bunch of fujos fangirling out at this Dazai x Chuuya scene and this part where the Shibusawa fight from the end of the film ended, someone sneezed, another guy replied “bless you” loudly and everyone else laughed. Didn’t ruin my experience, but come on... 9/10 - Rank: S.

3.- Fate/Stay Night: Heaven’s Feel I. Presage Flower: Like The Shape of Water, Heaven’s Feel I was a 2017 film and came out in Mexico in January 2018, but that aside, it was the first film I’ve ever seen in a cinema and seeing anime visuals and animation (especially Ufotable’s) was pure eye candy and it was a dream come true.

This kickstarted our (my older sister and I) hobby of seeing anime movies to the cinema with the previous entriesI (sorry but we won’t allow our mom to watch anime with us, we’d rather have the annoying people in the cinema than hearing her whine about every bloody scene she sees). 9.5/10 - Rank: S+.

The second film, Lost Butterfly, was supposed to come out, but it got delayed until January 12th, damn, so close, so I think I had a perfect chance to watch the first film this year because at the time I didn’t trust much the disributor, Konnichiwa Festival, for bringing anime films I’d like to see the most, or anything from series like My Hero Academia and Bungou Stray Dogs (They also brought A Silent Voice and Your Name).

(For some reason I’ve always been typing “Passage Flower” instead of “Presage Flower”, in what universe have I made that up?)

The fact that the second film comes out on January 12th is almost exactly like about the same time the first film came out on Mexican cinema on the 19th, that’s quite an amazing (or disturbing) coincidence.

2.- Ready Player One: I’ve been optimistic about this movie and heard a couple of good things about the book and its concept, but it was full of controversial hate, but... why?! IT DID NOTHING WRONG! The film did well, whether you’re a bookfag or not, but even some bookfags didn’t like how the film turned out, but who cares? It was still fun. 9.5/10 - Rank: S+.

1.- The Incredibles 2: I’m happy The Incredibles 2 is finally here, continuing the cliffhanger from the first film and everything, my life is complete. 10/10 - Rank: S++.

Top 6 Best Marvel Movies: I always tend to make my normal movie lists a bit Marvel heavy, because they’re all so good, so I decided to make a separate list of their own.

5.- Black Panther: It’s probably a bit more popular than Avengers: Infinity War for its cultural impact and everything, but it was still a good movie, to say the least (I’m probably the more big team-up type than standalone). 8.5/10 - Rank: A.

4.- Ant-Man and the Wasp: It’s still worth watching, but I feel like it’s the least relevant MCU movie of the year, except the quantum realm stuff and... the post-credits scene. My sister and I lowkey laughed our asses off that Hank, Janet and Hope vanished from the snap. 8.5/10 - Rank: A.

3.- Deadpool 2: Worthy sequel, and pretty weird for Fox to release a PG-13 version, Once Upon a Deadpool, just when people were skeptical that Disney with the Fox purchase would PG-13′d Deadpool when Fox themselves are the ones doing it first, but for a good reason...

(I made this image myself)

Well, that too but most importantly... THE X-MEN AND THE FANTASTIC FOUR IN THE MCU!

Speaking of Once Upon a Deadpool, it will come out on Mexico on January 1st but I’ll go see it on the weekend. Anyways, the score for DP2 is: 8.5/10 - Rank: A.

2.- Venom: The best movie birthday gift I’ve gotten, AND IT’S NOT TRASH, OKAY?! I’ve seen plenty of fan arts and they make up for the fact the film is trash, and it also represents people just simply like shipping Eddie Brock and Venom. 9.5/10 - Rank: S+. (Want to fight me about the score?)

1-B.- Avengers: Infinity War:  YES! Infinity War is everything I wanted! I love the film to death, and I’d really love to own the Blu-Ray like I do with Civil War. Too bad THERE HAS TO BE SOME PEOPLE WHO DISLIKED THE FILM!

Some people complained about the plot structure for being hard to follow, some for the CG, and some simply because they were like “ehhh, I didn’t like it.”, BUT..... RRRRRRRGGGGGGGNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHH!!! 👀💢 

IT’S A BIG MOVIE, THE ENDING MAY HAVE BEEN SHOCKING BUT IT WAS MEME-TASTIC AND EVERYTHING, IT’S SILLY FOR HATE TO EXIST ESPECIALLY WHETHER FROM CASUAL MARVEL VIEWERS AND SUCH.

THE PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T LIKE THE FILM, THEY DESERVE TO BE SNAPPED BY THANOS. QUE SE VAYAN A LA CHIN--

Alright, enough rambling, I loved the movie, I was definitely shocked by the ending (It’s not a bad ending that would ruin the film, don’t even dare to say that, please), but it’s a good set up for Avengers: Endgame. 9.5/10 - Rank: S+.

But... I gotta admit that it was my #1-A movie of the year, but there’s one movie that absolutely dethroned Infinity War...

1-A.- Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse: This film... THIS FILM, THOUGH, this is legit the best Spider-Man movie ever, with really awesome animation style, reminiscent of a comic book, the best easter eggs and everything.

Also, at the Stan Lee parts, from his cameo to his quote and a thanks to him and Steve Ditko, I legit cried at thiose parts for a small bit. I don’t even want to think about it. 😭

Some random notes before even seeing the film include buying a lot of the promotional items from my cinema (pictured)...

Out of all these items, I got...

...This cup when my older sister and I went to see My Hero Academia: Two Heroes on November 30th.

I did not hesitate to buy a keychain, let alone TWO (one for me and another one for my sister), there was a different keychain, the one with just Miles but I prefer the Spider symbol because I love symbols.

This popcorn bucket. I had a Spider-Man 3 plastic bucket, but it seems like I can’t find it somewhere in my house, sadly. But at least we needed a new bucket.

Along with the bucket, I also bought this cup (which I forgot about to take a photo of it and took it at home as you can see here).

So I got two of the three cups pictured way above, I also wanted to buy one of the wristbands but my family wouldn’t let me and it was too much to buy, they even told me I wouldn’t even wear them all the time. Oh well, at least I’m satisfied with the keychains, the cups and the bucket.

Happy to hear that there’s a female spin-off in the works, so my body is definitely ready to see more of the Spider-Verse with animation this beautiful. 100/10 - Rank: S++. Sorry Avengers: Infinity War but GTFO, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse has easily won my heart and it’s my #1 movie, not just for this list, it’s my definitive #1 movie of 2018!  👑 (Yes, I know I put The Incredibles 2 on the other list, consider it as #1-C)

Since it came out on Mexico on December 25th, it’s the best Christmas gift I’ve ever had in my entire life. (next to my new Huawei Mate 10 Lite, I needed a new phone really bad)

There’s an all-female spin-off in the works, so my body is definitely ready to watch more Spider-Verse related films with this beautiful animation (if there could be a different visual style than Spider-Verse, I’m probably fine with it, but it seems unlikely to happen (please don’t, the visual style from Spider-Verse looks damn fresh to change))

I’m still in awe from what I just saw...

I really need the Blu-Ray to come out faster like Venom did two months after it came out theatrically so I can own it and watch it a billion times! PRONTO!!!

(Also, to any critics or haters, get the fuck out of my sight, please)

Top 10 Best Movies (Definitive): I may have mixed things up by making two separate lists, one for Marvel and another one for movie, so I had to make a PROPER list of my movies of the year to avoid inconsistency.

10.- The Shape of Water

9.- The Cloverfield Paradox

8.- Overlord

7.- Mission Impossible: Fallout

6.- Aquaman

5.- Fate/Stay Night: Heaven’s Feel I. Presage Flower

4.- Ready Player One

3.- The Incredibles 2

2.- Avengers: Infinity War

1.- Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Top 10 Best Games:

NOTE: I honestly don’t like making the best/worst games lists because it’s all based on “experience” and there are so many games released every year and I don’t have the money to buy every single one, and most important of all, I have neither a PS4 and a Switch, nor a powerful PC. I still make this list anyways because I like acknowledging some of the games I’m the most interested for their existence, I still wish I can play them, but they’re there. Enjoy the following entries:

11.- Fate/Extella Link.

10.- Valkyria Chronicles 4.

9.- BlazBlue Cross Tag Battle.

8.- Soul Calibur VI: I’m not really much into Soul Calibur but VI has picked my interest mainly because of the character customization and every tweet I’ve seen of it, and 2B.

7.- Persona 3: Dancing in Moonlight / Persona 5: Dancing in Starlight: At first I wasn’t really fond on the idea of Persona dancing games since Persona 4: Dancing All Night, but when both P3D and P5D were announced, I redeemed myself on the concept.

6.- Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

5.- Girls’ Frontline (English and Japanese versions): My only disadvantage with the EN version is the censorship and that really bothers me so bad. I hate the topic of censorship in general. Too bad I haven’t been playing a lot of it lately, and I feel bad for it, haven’t even picked it up back with my new phone... But I can still appreciate the cosplays and fan arts.

4.- Dragalia Lost: I played it for like a week but I stopped because I ran out of space in my phone. This is my biggest problem with Nintendo mobile games, they’re always constantly asking for mobile data and they’re space consuming. It has potential to become Cygames’ next big franchise, though.

3.- Deltarune: Haven’t played Undertale myself and this was an excuse to get myself into it, even if it’s some sort of an alternate universe or whatever the many people who played it just experienced. And the game is free to play, so there’s nothing about money to worry about.

2.- Persona Q2: New Cinema Labyrinth.

1.- Spider-Man PS4.

Yes, I included two gacha games. What? You don’t think gacha games are “games” and instead they’re just money making machines? I can tell you’re making fun of my decision, and it’s true, but they have rights to be games whether you decide to spend your money or not. I don’t have much time to rant about gacha games and stuff, so let’s move on.

Honorable mention:

Detroit: Become Human: Call me out on this one because I gotta talk about this game.

Sure, David Cage may be a divisive developer among the gaming community but there’s something about Detroit that I’m hearing praise from the media and other YouTubers and then there are my “friends” who definitely hate him and his games.

This is one of those cases where I really can’t even bother to choose a side. (but I’d definitely be one of those who do like Detroit, I mean, the fan arts of Connor and his actor himself can make up for it, besides, I still got my copy of Heavy Rain)

Worst Games of the Year:

I mentioned that I don’t have the consoles to play most games, there are games that are so bad even to look at that are exceptions for me to play:

4.- Radical Heights

3.- Fallout 76

2.- The Quiet Man

1.- Metal Gear Survive

Everything mentioned this list are 0/10 - Rank: E-.

Artists Of The Year:

Ogata Tei: Finding this artist was like fate. I first found Ogata on Pixiv with this illustration on December 2017, and at first it was like any other artist I follow, I have to check their gallery and if it’s good enough, they deserve a follow, but when they started doing the Childhood Friend series (pictured below), I feel like my life has changed.

For safety reasons, I tend use Chapter 0 as a better way to show everyone the start of the Childhood Friend series without using the very first tweet, because... I don’t know what to make out of it, it’s not too graphic, but take a look for yourself. It is chapter 0 after all.)

The moment the reservations of the doujinshi went live in June, I did not hesitate to ask my older sister to buy it for me and finally received it on December 6th (technically it should have been on the 5th because the mailman came home but my mom wasn’t there to sign the package, but we do not talk about that part of that day ever again. The reason why is that the mailman thought I looked too young to get and sign a package (I hate my genes)... That is until Ogata decided to open reservations for the sequel the moment I got the doujin ), it was a long wait but it was worth it... That is until Ogata decided to open reservations for the sequel for C95 the moment I got the doujin, worst timing ever.

To be honest, this series is the only thing that makes me happy, ever, everything else I love is always being ruined by assholes and their heartbreaking traumatizing opposing opinions. Thankfully there’s no hate in this.

This series is very dear to me, I really hope it keeps going because I occasionally get scared for the series to end and I’d be forever sad if it does (I’ll eventually move on but my heart won’t change).

Maybe the saddest thing about the series is that I’m the only one who makes fan arts and a Custom Cast/Custom Order Maid 3D2 recreation of the Childhood Friend character. It’s a good thing that I show my pride for the character and all, but it’s only me and I can’t be the only one with that pride, I’d love to see other people do shit, even some of the artists I follow that are friends with Ogata.

Souryu: Not the first thing (have seen a bit of his pictures on Pixiv before), but I was brought to this artist more with this web series I also love to death. (NSFW)

I’m also happy to see his manga, Machimaho, has an English release now.

Sakiyamama: The list was originally going to be just Ogata but I wanted to include Sakiyamama because not only his recent bunny pictures (as of the writing of this post) are really really good, he’s actually a really fun person to talk with and he’s gained my respect more than I already have. MAX!

(Would Sakiyamama be a good candidate to make a cover for my novel? Maybe, maybe not...)

Song Of The Year:

Casey Edwards - Devil Trigger: Even for a 2019 game like Devil May Cry 5, Devil Trigger just rocks. Now, when DMC5 comes out, we all can’t wait to pull our devil trigger.

The following part is my really long review of 2018, if you don’t care about what happened to my life in the year and my personal problems, you can skip to the very end until you find the following sentence: “You’ve reached the end of my long review of my 2018 experience.“

Now, let’s talk about why did I consider 2018 the worst year yet. Everything continues with the same problems as last year and some new ones that are even worse. This year was full of disappointments and few ups which either matter or get ruined.

Starting with what’s essentially the most horrifying experience I’ve ever been in my life and it’s all got to do with my older sister. First off, on February, we were hanging out with my aunt on a shopping mall, we were eating ice cream and for some reason, my sister and my mom were arguing and something made my older sister rage quit the plaza we were. We slowly followed her where she was going, later we returned to our house, my sister later came back home and everything went normal.

Then, comes the worst of her moments yet, two months later, everything was going fine on home, until I heard my mom calling me and I started hearing my sister’s very creepy yelling, my mom was holding her on the floor and she ordered me to call my aunt and ran to go buy medicines, my aunt came home to hold my sister down with my mom to give her the pills I had to bought, etc. A lot has happened in that afternoon. Even my mom has called the cops.

A few hours have passed, the cops came home just for a talk about the situation, and I guess that’s about all I witnessed because I didn’t do nor payed attention much on there other than shaking a cop’s hand.

I really wish I shouldn’t discuss about this on a wide public like the internet considering that my mom told me I shouldn’t tell this to anyone... “ANYONE”. Not even my BFF classmate on WhatsApp (at the time when I was at school), not even on Twitter nor Discord, which I talked about what was happening at the very moment and that made me feel like a genuine social media addict, tweeting and telling my (not-so) friends on Discord as if social media has become my life journal or something.

As for what I told on my classmate, I told him afterwards that I shouldn’t have told him about what happened with my older sister when my mom told me not to tell about this to anyone, at least he kept the secret.

Speaking of school, the situation that we went through, my mom decided I wouldn’t go to school for a week.

I think at the moment the cops came to our home, I heard that my sister has depression, and with that, my sister eventually started going to the psychologist.

Then on October 15th, it happened again, except that my mom straight up sent me to my aunt’s house to sleep there for tonight because my sister was going crazy again, hopefully I didn’t get to witness her meltdown... Except the next day, early in the morning, when I arrived home on taxi, I saw my sister’s right arm with blood and a few hours later, her arm is full of scars, ouch. (Her arm is probably healed by now because I don’t see the scars lately).

Aside with all of my sister’s creepy anthics, I’ve had a few share of problems, mainly at school.

The problem is that I harmed two girl classmates in different occassions, I know I wouldn’t hurt women and I normally wouldn’t be the type to hurt women, but Mexican schoolgirls are just the worst. One instance was that I was being yelled at because I wasn’t into the teamwork enough and hadn’t done anything and I just went all out, I was gonna choke and even bite her neck off. The other one was where I was gonna slap a chubby one but I slapped another girl next to her unintentionally and we were arguing about it.

After a while I forgot about it but now I dare to bring these school memories again...

Anyways, I think that’s the end of the stories of my older sister’s madness, even I get flashbacks of those moments and I everytime I typed everything down, my head always twitched, and done with my brief stories about my problems at school.

You may have already gotten sympathy for what I’ve been through, but it seems like I’m about to ruin the moment.

Now, let’s move on with my problem with personal opinions, again. Yes, I know you may be sick of me talking about this topic over and over, but trust me, I’ve been given enough tips and some of the same ones, so let me give one last rant so I can get my last laugh on my friends, this may be like a rewritten version of this post I made last year (make sure to read it before reading this, if you like), but this one features recent events and a better conclusion. Time to end this by going all out. Enjoy.

My 2018 in a nutshell.

Where do I begin? This entire year was still through my usual problems with my obsession with personal opinions, but I can’t tell if it’s equally bad or worse than what I went through with 2017. I think it’s the latter because it all comes with the “Franxxgate” (That’s how I dub the hate around Darling in the Franxx as a whole) and it’s probably one of my few breaking points this year.

Pretty much every anime “gate”, from the Apocryphagate from 2017, to 2018′s Franxxgate and even FLCLgate from a group of friends lead by a certain person with a P on their name I interact with (while there’s the opposing side of the fandom where Toonami-fags still love watching FLCL), completely breaks me. (Everything needs a “-gate”, okay?)

With that being said, in late September, I jumped to the conclusion that anime in general has become my most sensitive topic yet, and I wish I wouldn’t talk about anime with anyone, and I also declared to fuck anime as a whole. I mean, let’s be real, what’s even the real point for anime adaptations to exist? For the money? (I’m using this excuse to every industry or even art itself), Most adaptations don’t even work, and they don’t get fans or something.

If you’re really THAT badly disappointed by these shows or anything else in general, the first thing that comes to your mind is deleting them, right? but before you do that, you should at least consider what would you do to rewrite those shows, like, how would you make them good? If you’re a heartless cunt without any soft spot for the creators and intentions (unless they really make some outrageous shit), then delete is indeed your only option.

I’ve always seen these sorts of situations as “Aw, the performances and the music (and occasionally the well written characters) are so good but the overall story SUCKS.”

Also, if I answer what do you like and you come up with “good”, don’t come up with such bullshit at my face, it’s impossible for anything to be “good”, define “good”. I don’t want subjective answers, try to give something more detailed.

Anime aside, let me talk about how people criticize in general, based on experience.

I just never understood how there are people who are fans of something but dare to say some flaws despite saying that they like it, that it’s great, etc. That’s fucking ironic and downright stupid!

For example, there’s a guy who likes, uh... Game X, but they find like a couple of problems, but they still think they like it and what not, fucking ironic.

(I probably would like to use Persona 5 as a proper example instead of “Game X”, but it’s too much of an offensive example for me to use, to be honest...)

I saw this tweet that says “It’s okay to criticize things you love.”, and while it’s true, and there are times I criticize things I love, for example, the MCU for lack of crossovers between the TV shows and the movies (probably my biggest problem would be the Marvel Netflix shows, they still reference the Avengers, I see no relevance for their existence), but most of the time, I never give a fuck about the flaws from everything I love.

One of my friends replied me that it is and proceeds to talk about his “tough love” for Dragon’s Dogma. Keyword: Tough love, this is one of those words I’ve honestly haven’t heard in a long time, but applying it here is not something I asked for, I just don’t have tough love for everything, I’ve mostly never been the type to spot flaws and criticize them, I’m the type of person who blindly praises or hates anything, without having to explain in detail what I like or hate (occasionally), I’m never going to be a critic like you, I’ve always been a blind fanboy and will continue to be, whether you like it or not.

Speaking of critics, I never liked people who are still being critics, they could bring fair points but at the same time what they say it’s always clichéd, they throw words like “predictable”, “clichéd” and stuff like that.First of all, I can’t even tell what’s predictable, well, there are times that I know what’s going to happen next, but I actually have fun guessing rather than criticizing, it’s actually good for me, same goes for clichéd, I have no idea what are people even talking about when they say “clichéd”. Sure, people may use tired tropes, whether for seriousness or satirical purposes, it all depends on the execution, for the better or for worse. If you’re looking for some form of art that’s not predicatble, that’s not clichéd and everything, it’s impossible to find one because every single creator makes the same mistake of making their series with, you guessed it, tired tropes. Hell, I may even do the same mistake too, because why the fuck not? Whether for seriousness or for satirical purposes.

(I always have the guilty pleassure for everyone to hate me mainly because I’m a blind fanboy and accuse everyone and calling them supremacists or something. I saw this Comicbookcast2 video a long time ago titled “FUCK BLIND FANBOYS” or something. The video has been deleted, and when I saw it, it was offensive for me, but I actually want to watch it again. Sorry for being political at the supremacy part, but that’s how I always feel. Speaking of supremacy, despite my anger at everyone’s opinions, I’m never right and don’t have the power to change their minds, fucking weak-ass knucklehead me.)

The point is, there’s a game/show/movie that you’ve been excited for it for so long, and in general it turned out to be a really great product, you try it yourself, you think that it’s really good but then you come out and explain that there are some severe flaws and everything else to criticize either some aspects or the entire product, do the flaws really ruin your hype? Does it ruin how you wanted it to be? Pathetic.

Okay okay, I know I know, I get that nothing is “perfect”, I get that a lot, but if you want to be like a true fan about a particular product or even a franchise, without all of the ranking from best to worst and vice versa type, don’t give a shit about their flaws, just ignore them, just enjoy everything that’s going on, that’s my definition of a true fan. That’s my motto I’ve been following for a long time. But alas, this definition of “fan” is dead, and the meaning has never been this way.

Well, there are times that I even say the same things, I can detect some flaws too, but most of the time, there are things that I care about in my life that I tend to ignore their flaws all the time. I can’t criticize, I can’t hate some aspects, I almost just don’t know how to do these things.

There are times that people tell their opinions as if they’re facts. There’s that same dude who told me about tough love, he started that sentence with “It is.”, he also told me those same words a few times. But still, I don’t fucking care if something is trash, I don’t care if even if it’s your opinion or if it’s an actual fact, don’t try to brainwash me or even anyone with your bullshit!

It’s like people don’t know how to enjoy things anymore, well, it’s always been this way but I’ve never been this deep with this level of hypocrisy, cynicism and intransigence. With people not appreciating art sometimes, I can even go far to think that Art is Dead. (I’d write a blog post about it but I mainly would love to write a book about it and point out every single types of criticisms I can gather from experience and memory)

This isn’t about toxicity, SJWs or anything, some of them must be intellectual people who think they’re “right” on what’s bad, it’s bad.

My biggest problem is that I ALWAYS happen to start a topic and let everyone bring their worst opinions possible, I always takes opinions by heart and I always go compusively defensive about everything and try to justify what happened while having a “Oh, I get how the creators feel about this, I feel connected” kind of mindset or something.

I just happened to be sensitive about everything, even the slightest negative word, once I hear words like “okay”, “bland”, and everything else, I lose brain cells, always.

Even WORSE is that I′m friends with some people with the worst opinions possible. (Probably would like to call them out here, publicly on Tumblr, but nah, whoever reads, I’ll tell them.). Talking with these people has been my largest waste of time I’ve ever had. I’m sick of talking to you, you disappoint me.

Everything I’m saying is pretty much beyond autism, bipolar or multiple personality disorder material, I’m genuinely like some criticism censorship madman, please, accept it.

Everyone always told me “it’s just their opinion” and everything but it’s the same thing when I got bullied, everyone always told me “Just ignore them.” and ignorance was never in my motto, I just want everyone to stop. I also get told a lot that I need to tolerate and respect them, I kind of do that but at the same time I always get headaches, like my brain is always going to explode, I’m always trying to resist the pain like this. (This video also depicts my procrastination on writing my novel). Even if I were to ignore their opinions, their words are stuck in my head and can’t stop thinking about them, it’s like I’m a magnet, like I’m traumatized by your words.

This is also going to affect my life as an author, sometimes I’d definitely consider taking feedback on plot points, characters and writing mistakes, but when I get comments like either my works or what I’m doing in the future flat out suck, things could get complicated.

I could rant about how “creative freedom” is dead, from trying really hard at complex narrative and “original” ideas to even sexual content, by always being ruined by negativity and I almost don’t believe criticism can’t help but it’ll be for another post, if I actually can depending on my mood.

Suddenly, on September 18th, I found a video talking about the personal opinions by SrPelo, not only it was really hilarious, it actually depicts pretty much everything that’s wrong with me.

(There are English and Spanish versions of this video, but I recommend the Spanish version, it’s funnier. There are English captions, though.)

But has the video taught me anything? Kind of, I got some of the points but eventually I’m still defensive.

Going back to the topic of fanboy-ism (Not fandom, it’s a specific thing), what happened to the passionate people and their rage when I say something like “I’m not into Franchise X.”, “I don’t care about it.” or anything? Why won’t YOU be mad at me when I say such things or some worse shit? Actually, that doesn’t matter, because that’s into toxic territory, you do have a sense of “I don’t have a problem with people enjoying what they like.” instead of “Why do you have to enjoy it? Don’t.”, at least you do have some mental stability unlike me.

Okay, this has been really convoluted, I ran out of ideas and it feels like it’s getting nowhere that I lost you, so let me jump to the conclusions:

PLOT TWIST! PLOT TWIST!

It’s time to confess that nothing in life convinces me anymore, there’s a lot of things I see and when I finish, I always say “I liked it”/”it was good”, but in reality, I feel nothing, NOTHING. I can’t simply say “It was okay” nor even “I didn’t like it.”, I just feel neutral about everything, I’m indifferent and shit.

When I see new things I might get into, I experience it, some say that it’s bad and stuff like that, I’m always neutral in the end yet unnecessarily defensive, well, I am defensive for their existence in “art”. I’m just someone who always defends art by thinking that every creator put their efforts into. (Of course, it doesn’t mean “every single” creator in existence, there are some who are absolute assholes.)

There are things that seem new to me, sometimes I got high hopes to like them when I experience them but at the same time I’m kind of neutral about it, I probably don’t have that much high hopes to become part of my life compared to my existing interests, if there’s something really interesting from something I really care about my life but some may be getting hate from it, I get really triggered. I don’t get disappointed in most things, sometimes I can’t really tell if I actually like them or hate them.

There are also things that normally aren’t part of my life, or stuff I don’t care but may intrigue me someday or in a different Earth, yet I’m gratuitously defensive on their place in art.

What have I been gaining from all of this? Power for being right myself and be capable of shut your mouths off. But, like I stated, it’s not like I could brainwash everyone with my own words based on experience of offending people sometimes.

I’ve had this sort of existential crisis for 2 years and I don’t think I’m ever gonna stop, no matter how many times people tell me to stop.

Before I go detailed with my resolution, let me say this: Either people should say something that don’t (indirectly) piss me off or should I not take their words by heart ever again.

(Crowd yelling at me for what I just said)

Okay, it’s a little weird but it’s true.

I’ll make a list of my worst features that you still may or may not interact with me ever again at a later time too, if I feel like it, but in conclusion, let me say this:

I’m a self-centered person who refuses to listen to anyone’s opinions on certain things (or pretty much everything) and refuses to accept the reality, the facts, and has a distrust agenda (or I claim to say that because I still trust some people), doesn’t have identity of his own and relies on others, doesn’t feel bias and can’t share the same logic, thought-process or even common sense (?) than you have. I just want to have my own opinions, my beliefs and everything but I’m feeling like I’m surrounded by opposites.

But even if I hear a different group with one unanimous opinions and another one with an opposing unanimous opinions, I can’t choose sides nor I would like to do so. And I’ve never been on your side nor would like to be in it. (This goes back to my brief discussion on Detroit: Become Human).

Let me tell you something: When you have a conversation with a friend you respect the most but comes up with opposing opinions, that they don’t like aspects of them, etc., your first instinct would be respectfully disagree and talk it out, but that aside... do you know how it feels like?! I’ve been through that pain a lot! And not a single time I could learn to get a grip on such conversations!... At least the one thing I can do is boycotting conversations where opinions and criticims get out of hand for my views.

Let me give you a life lesson: You should have a digree of distrust, everytime you ask one person that they should try X and they give their own opinion, you don’t need to buy it 100%. You have to learn to investigate things yourself, and when you see the general reception for the X you’re seeing, you should be unsure and should check X out yourself. When you hear different sources saying different things, you shouldn’t trust any of them and investigate yourself, that’s the basics of my life experience.

I may sound like I’m manipulative, like I want people to be exactly like me or that I want to meet new people like me, basically forming a legion with similar mindset or something, I can confirm and deny on wanting to achieve such goal. It’s really strange that I can say yes and no to something I don’t really think about.

The thing is, I’m just loyal to art, attached to everything, well, not 100%, there are things that do look like trash trash, when there are things look good but people say they’re trash, I’ll never forgive them, depending on their attitude based on experience, I’m never gonna forgive anyone.

Also, (this next part may go into artist (as in illustrator) territory, but still), let me tell you this: I HATE criticizing artists! I’m not the type of person to mock or downright criticize anything they do! Well, I do have rights to express mixed feelings about some things they post online which I don’t feel convinced from a previous picture I was heavily invested or something, but I can’t say those mixed feelings in front of their faces and I should reconsider! I have absolute pride for artists no matter what they do. And if you dare to make fun of them, comically or not, you can shove it.

I’m not always supportive of “every” single creator out there, there are some who are scumbags or corporate bullshit.

I’m also optimistic, unlike you. Not at everything, but there are things that sound intersting, but too bad there has to be some haters. I know I’d have to adjust my eyes to take a proper look but there has to be some sort of potential somewhere.

You think you’re critics? On a Gordon Ramsay/Master Chef kind of scale? I’ll tell you what, try to put on a creator’s shoes, or try to imagine a different Earth where you’re an artist (illustrator, writer, etc.), even if you tend to criticize others, and when you create something, I won’t hesitate to Gordon Ramsay you’re ass off.

Whenever you bring negative comments from something good, I always, ALWAYS, want to counter your opinions very offensively like this, but sadly I can’t, but I think it’s fine because I am scared of getting blocked or banned from a Discord sever. (Discord has ruined my life lol)

But alas, with all of the bias people show, mainly negative from something I find interesting, seeing this happening everyday and telling right at my face, I happened to become a broken person now, no thanks to you, yes, as ridiculous as it sounds, even indirectly.

I’ve had this thing with personal opinions and trying to bear them up my ass. I’m just tired, I’m sick of everything. Either everyone needs to stop or better, I should stop because I’m always the one to start causing trouble by a disagreement.

One way I would like to stop what’s happening to me is to break up with the people I talk with (mainly Discord severs because they’re the worst), or even better,  retire from the internet for good, but I don’t think I’d have the ability to do that. Perhaps the only way is just to have some more mental stability myself, to learn to actually calm myself.

People have even told me to take a break from the internet but I just can’t, there’s lots of good things I don’t want to miss.

Here’s my final strike to end this long rant to relieve my 2 year long stress once and for all (hopefully):

You all must be good at parties.

At last, that’s the end of my life experiences, sorry to make you read through that pain that was my emotional ride you wouldn’t even care because, while it starts creepy at first, later it just fell apart with my obsession with opinions, let’s move on to some other negatives from 2018 in general and let’s go with the ups.

There’s no shortage of celebrity deaths and yet it managed to be worse than 2016, the one death that got me hard was Stan Lee. That instantly made 2018 much worse than it already is.

Without Stan Lee, there’s not gonna be any more Marvel movie cameos and I wished I could meet him in person one day, now my dream is dead.

Stefan Karl, Stephen Hillenburg, even the youngest musicians, many more.

With Stan Lee and Stephen Hillenburg both passed away in November, it reminded me of Roberto Gómez Bolaños, better known as Chespirito, which he passed away in November 28th 2014, that made me think that November is a cursed month.

This shit is really sad.

Now that we’re done talking with the negative, let’s talk about the positives, sorry it took so long with the negative, but here we are to change the mood.

The best thing that has happened in my life that I can think of is that I get to travel for the first time, I traveled to Irapuato, Guanajuato to meet my uncles (relatives to my dad), and the place itself was great. We stayed with my uncles’ for a week, the week of E3.

When we first arrived, the weather was cold, even at summer, there was a really nice shopping mall and it had a restaurant with genuine ramen we ate, everything was great.

The worst part of the trip, and by sleeping at my uncles’ house was that my body was always itchy and I couldn’t stop scratching and always put mosquito repellent.

Another best moment of my life, well, it may sound dickish that I did it, but I didn’t get to go to study to a new school after I ended preparatory school. Mainly because I wasn’t entirely sure what to study, I needed a break from my underwhelming experience at the prepa and because my mom wouldn’t pay us, my older sister and I, both schools for like hundreds of thousands of pesos.

Next year I’m gonna start studying plastic arts, maybe I’d like to learn more about drawing than my current skills, I just want to improve but at the same time, to be honest, I don’t really feel motivated to study art at all, mainly because I want to focus on outlining and writing my novel for real.

There are minor complaints I had this year and it’s got something to do with the TV side. Right at the end of watching every show from Agents of SHIELD to Westworld, I’ve been a little burnt out on watching TV shows, so after Legion and Westworld ended, I wasn’t feeling like watching TV anymore, not even the Marvel Netflix shows (let’s be real, they’re all super boring anyways, they even put me to sleep; but I feel bad for some of them being cancelled, though.).

Despite my lost interest on watching TV now, I’m still going to watch Agents of SHIELD and The Blacklist when their seasons 6 come out.

You’ve reached the end of my long review of my 2018 experience.

FINALLY!

Let’s finally talk about my resolutions and we can end this year once and for all!

Some of the resolutions are like last year’s and some may be new but I hope, I REALLY HOPE, to achieve them, and after that, we can finally talk about what I’m looking forward the most in 2019!

Resolutions: I may have fulfilled like at least one of the resolutions I made last year, well... half of it, and it’s going to the gym, because, I really need to get in shape before I turn 20. I’m not fat, it’s just I got the belly. I gave up on the swimming part because I wasn’t interested and motivated, especially at this weather right now.

Anyways, that gym talk aside, I really haven’t fulfilled my resolutions at all, the worst offender being my resolution of writing my novel because I had a year long writer’s block (yep, that long). As for the “try not to be a jerk”, from what you read from my long rant, I hope that should be the last time.

Let me rephrase my resolutions and then add some new ones, I really hope I could have the mental energy and the will to fulfill them all.

If I can’t fulfill at least one, most or even all of the resolutions, I’m pretty much fucked.

Write my novel for real: I’ve been wanting to write my novel this entire year but I’ve made little to no progress at all, I was struggling on finding a way on what kind of story I would make, but my bigger problems were that I was focusing on wanting to make a pen name for myself use that to start my social media accounts and everything, I did it but I felt like I wasted it. I may give up on the pen name idea and use my real name, unless my family or anyone else would find a perfect pen name for me and hold off until I get my novel written halfway.

I also need money ready, have a PayPal and a Patreon, the money to pay for stuff like cover artist, domains for my website, ec. I’m still waiting to get my hands on a credit card so I could make money because I haven’t gotten any.

I didn’t enter to a new school right now so I could have had the time to write my novel, but I just wasted that opportunity.

I also got this fear that I may run into identity problems or something, when it comes to my edgy shitposter self and my author self, I don’t want to run in the same problem James Gunn did, I want to become separate entities (that sounds like some sort of multiple personality disorder like I lowkey have (not really)).

Even worse is that I had at least one person who I’ve been talking and talking about my dream project, the characters, headcanon-ing(?) random events and everything for YEARS. I also had different people who I talked about the project, but not as much as that one person who I’ve been doing it for a long time. I would ask the people I explained about my project and everything for a while to forget about it, but it seems like it’s such a harsh request, maybe keep everything I said a secret would be better. Speaking of which, that’s why I tend to be secretive about what I want to do and everything lately, this goes full circle to the previous paragraph about identity. The one person also went far commissioning art of my characters, while I was honored for that, I feel like it’s a little too soon... Well, if it’s like a normal artist commissioning OCs and stuff like that, it’s fine, but the problem is that I’m making OCs with the sole purpose of them existing into a real novel and everything, and it could be dangerous.

I got lots of ambitious goals and ideas and I can’t really explain everything, I’d love to handle everything by myself, I can find my own innovative ways to market my novel and everything.

One thing I can say about what I want with my novel is pretty simple:

I need my stories to exist: Commissioned fan arts of my characters aside, I want my stories to exist for real, I just can’t leave my dream universe to collect cellular dust and simply use my imagination, occasionally draw those ideas, etc.

Money: No surprise, that’s quite an obvious thing to do, but depends on how much royalties do I get with Amazon or I simply make my money with PayPal and/or Patreon.

...Did I say Amazon? That’s right, I’m planning to self-publish my novel with Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing.

Wanting my novels to becomea franchise: Okay, this is a little too much, and there’s a weird pattern I noticed that if you say “This is going to be the next X franchise” or “I want this to be huge!” or something like that, you’re bound to fail, and if you say “I don’t think I might make it” or similar statements that you wouldn’t be successful or anything, you’re bound to succeed. I know I’m escalating things up but it’s what I want the most, but I don’t want it to be adapted into Hollywood and that kind of shit, I want it to be adapted into a video game series, which I originally planned to make this into a game series, but since I would never figure out how would I study game design or anything, I gave up on the idea and chose something easier, writing a novel.

I wasn’t kidding that I have ambitious goals and ideas...

I don’t have a lot of motivation to write my novel, the only thing I’m motivated to write are Tumblr posts...

I’m always like “Gotta write” and I just can’t. There’s something about trying to structure sentences something that always throws me off, it’s just hard.

I haven’t been in the mood to continue trying to outlining the plot and the characters, I’m waiting for the right time to continue, and that time would be starting 2019.

I don’t want any more excuses and I need to find a way to motivate myself to write, I need to write for real, I don’t need to worry about writing garbage words or anything, I just need to write. X_X

Anyways, moving on to the next resolution.

Change my behavior (for the better or for the worse): After I made you read through my psychosis (If you read all the way through the end, good job. If you skipped it, why would you do that? It’s important), it probably should be time for me to change because even I get tired of the way I’m acting right now.

What do I mean to change for the better or for the worse? In one hand, I do want to act like a good person, I need to be more understood in a few cases and try to be more honest, but that honesty sometimes could be rude. As you can see, sometimes I could rude, I tend to make insulting comments and sometimes I delete them because I’m scared that I might end up being blocked and/or banned, even if I intended to make jokes. Basically I’m not gonna delete my comments, as rude as they may be, I really hope anyone won’t take them very seriously.

If I can’t manage to be more respectful towards others’ opinions and be a good person through the entirety of 2019, you pretty much know that I’m quite an angry, trigger-happy person like I’ve already been this year. Or maybe I can be kind of a tsundere, right! I sometimes even I was a bit of a tsundere this year! :3

Despite my good behavior and actions, I’m still going to have my trust no one motto. Sure, I can still understand some people’s opinions, but sometimes I can’t 100% take them. Sometimes you just gotta find things out by yourself when you hear different sources with different opinions, that’s the basics.

(God, talking about basics make me sound like I’m Genjou Kakouton from Ikki Tousen)

I dunno why but I’m already imagining that my behavior change would feel more like personality disorder (why am I so obsessed with personality disorders?), anyways, I really hope I could definitely change the way I am and everything, hopefully.

(Be nice with me or else we’re done, okay?)

Draw very often: I’ve pretty much given up on drawing at this point, and I’m even going to enter art school soon and, to be honest, I don’t feel like I’m really interested in art school at all.

On one hand, I do want to learn to draw better, but on the other hand, I really don’t feel like going to school right now... even I don’t know why my head feels like it doesn’t want to do shit.

I just lost patience in drawing, I really struggle on how should I do the roughs and my inking always go wrong. Don’t even get me started on digital art, that one’s my absolute worst nightmare. Layers, brushes, brush sizes, everything about digital art drives me crazy now.

Drawing has always been my favorite hobby, it’s not like I got a slump, I can randomly do sketches of my OCs or even my favorite characters, the problem is the willing to draw.

I’m 19 years old and I expect to draw better right away...

I was originally going to make an Infinity Stone variant New Year drawings, with each stone representing a character from their colors, I realized that I wasn’t going to have the patience to do everything right.

Besides writing my novel, I would like to draw very often so I could improve. I’m more on the traditional side, so learning about digital might be a pain in the ass but it should be worth it. Well, maybe I don’t need to draw literally every single day because I could get carpal tunnel, but that’s the point of learning to improve your drawing, by doing so everyday.

Anticipations: My favorite part of every New Year is talking about what I look forward the most. For the most part, I’ve seen plenty that will come out next year, but maybe not everything will come in 2019, so delays would eventually happen, but in the mean time, we can acknowledge some upcoming things.

Anticipated anime: When new anime seasons come closer, my anticipated anime will always differ, depending on what announcements I see, they’ve always gotta be in the same year or next year (2019), but alas, here are some of the biggest titles I have in mind:

(Note that some of the titles mentioned here are from Winter 2019, so close and I already addressed some of them on my previous post, but I feel like rewriting what I said here in case if you don’t want to read it all)

One Punch Man season 2: This one I’m genuinely cautiously optimistic, or perhaps I’m 50/50, I don’t have the highest hopes to be good (at least visually), but I’m strangely happy to know if it’s going to look like crap because I want to see it burn and everything (I’m a little insane), I’m never going to forgive the studio change shit move.

On December 21st, the first trailer has finally dropped, and even with the little animation shown, but the main thing that matters to me is how it looks, and it looks... not really what I expected but it could be a mixed bag.

On one hand, it still looks a bit like the first season, which I’m happy, on the other hand, they added filters and the character designs (especially King’s) look a little off, even if it’s supposed to have the same character designer from the first season, but I thought the designs may differ from animation or something.

I saw a comment that OPM S2 appears to be made by the Prison School staff, while I’m not entirely sure if it’s true but I figured since Prison School is made by JC Staff, no wonder why OPM has similar visual filters or something.

(Can’t properly upload GIFs to Tumblr and the GIF button sucks)

Madhouse’s animation style will always hold a special place in my heart, and as I previously stated, it still looks okay, may change when it comes out. Can’t give a seal of approval yet, but there’s potential.

Mob Psycho 100 II: Unlike One Punch Man, I’m glad Mob Psycho 100 is handled at better hands and I’m happy season 2 is happening. I still wish OPM S2 could have been aired on Winter 2019 with Mob Psycho 100 S2 to have a ONE combo but OPM S2 being on Spring when MP100 ends is the closest I could get (I’m never going to stop repeating this, because it’s true)

Enough OPM talk, looking forward to MP100, I’m still wondering if it’ll go two-cour a la My Hero Academia to adapt every chapter until the very end or it’s still one-cour and wait until a third season gets greenlit and then it’ll adapt the final chapters.

Kemono Friends 2: Like One Punch Man season 2, I extremely don’t have the highest hopes for Kemono Friends 2 at all, especially after you know what happened.

Whenever people see something Kemono Friends related, they can’t help but always, and I mean, always spam “No Tatsuki No Tanoshii” or a difference sentence but with the theme of “bring Tatsuki back” or something, from the two trailers and even some things that are not intended to spread the hate. (Seriously, why would you do that? It’s just the artist, Mine Yoshizaki, drawing, why even go with the “No Tatsuki No Tanoshii” mood into something innocent as this?)

Speaking of the trailers, the second one is the worst that has come out, besides from the thousands of dislikes, to no one’s surprise, the worst offender has got to be the new human character, Kyururu, immediately leading me to believe that Kaban-chan got retconned... That is until I got an anonymous message that she wasn’t retconned, she was referenced at some points or something, based on screenings of what I assume to be the first episode, don’t know any more of the screening stuff, but let’s wait until the first or later episodes to see if it’s true.

Perhaps Kemono Friends 2 could be a prequel? One of my friends told me it could be a soft reboot after I showed them the message, but it doesn’t seem likely. And the fact that it’s another prequel would cause any sort of problems. For one, there’s already a prequel, which is the Welcome to Japari Park anime series (not to be confused with the manga of the same name because it’s completely different...?), it may not show much but there’s Mirai and Caracal, unless it could be a sequel to Japari Park after what happened to Mirai or something, who knows.

Despite all the negative press that it’s getting, I’ve been seeing a lot of comments that express excitement, which I don’t mind, actually. I’ve also seen comments that the animation looks better than the first season’s, while it may be true, but it’s a bit disrespectful for Tatsuki.

Once it comes out, let’s see how it’ll go.

(Wow, there’s S2 after S2...)

Kemurikusa: After Tatsuki got fired from the Kemono Friends franchise, I wonder what would his future be, and it appears that he started making shorts and posting them by multiple parts on his Twitter, which is fine, but what about any full fledged anime series? Well, that actually happened, and it happens to be a remake of one of his old web series.

I don’t remember when have I scrolled through Tatsuki’s old CG movie portofolio, but I’m sure it was definitely when the initial teasers for Kemurikusa (or simply known as “Tatsuki’s next anime” series at the time) on Comiket were revealed.

I’m still wondering if this is an all-new reboot, a prequel or a sequel of the original web series, but the answer lies until I see it.

Kimetsu no Yaiba: I’m so looking forward to this one, Ufotable’s next big TV anime project, and it happens to be a Shonen Jump series, which makes things much more surreal than Katsugeki: Touken Ranbu.

Yeah, I’m pretty much a big Ufotable fan right now. (though the only disadvantage being Girls’ Work nowhere in sight)

My Hero Academia season 4: I’m surprised to hear that it’s going to come out on the Fall season compared to the usual Spring release. And I was immediately begging for it to come on my birthday but I realized that My Hero Academia is a Saturday show and the first Saturday of October is the 5th, which is sad for me.

Azur Lane anime: As much as I love the game, I’m definitely excited for the anime, I even went so far to make a predictions post, but at the same time, since I rambled that adaptations are worthless of existence if you’d prefer the source material way better, I’m scared that it may turn out mediocre (maybe as or not as much as the Kancolle anime (which I dunno why I started developing mixed feelings since I liked it when I saw it back in 2015 ;_;))

It may or may not be a 2019 release, depending as time goes on and see if there are any new trailers or any announcements over the course of the year.

When the anime comes out and it becomes subject of a disappointment, I feel like it could be kind of an understatement, either from people who don’t play the game or the ones who do, I dunno, I’m relying on my beliefs on how it’s going to do for the moment, it’s a strange situation where I would like it at first but I get mixed feelings eventually.

Fate/Grand Order Babylonia TV series / Fate/Grand Order Camelot movie: Sometimes I forget which of the two FGO anime projects are a TV series and a movie. Anyways, I’m looking forward to these, but I feel like no one is accepting these Fate adaptations lately and it’s making me angry and sad.

As to why are Babylonia and Camelot the most popular chapters in FGO, I asked on a Discord server I frequently interact with, and they said that the previous chapters are bad and forgettable, I was like really speechless and turns me off, I mean, real talk: Why does FGO got a bunch of chapters and you either like none of them or the entire fan base agrees that every chapter before Babylonia and Camelot are... bad?! You can’t do that, they’re... there! If so, what’s even the point of these chapters to exist?!

Alright, that’s enough rant and I ran out of ideas.

Anyways, I’m more curious on the Camelot movies because if they’re released theatrically, I really wonder if they would come out internationally too, especially in Mexico. I really wonder if there are plenty of people who play FGO like my sister and I, either the Japanese version, the North American version (which seems unlikely because it’s region locked). I’m also curious about the releases since it’s a two parter, if it’ll be yearly release, it’s fine, but if it’s like the K Seven Stories films which come out months and months, I’ll definitely run out of money (not much than the game (if I had any money for the game)), but if it’ll be TV films, that’s much better.

To be honest, I can’t really see the appeal as to why are Babylonia and Camelot good in terms of writing because I haven’t looked up on translations and I don’t play the NA version at all... I hate Camelot so much because it was so god damn hard, Babylonia not so much iirc. And I’m lazy to look up said translations or even watch videos of the NA version.

NOW, WHEN THEY COME OUT, DON’T YOU DARE TRASH TALK ABOUT IT, PLEASE DON’T BE FATE/APOCRYPHA 2.0 TO BRING IN THE HATE OR ELSE...

(Source)

Anticipated games: Even if I still haven’t owned a PS4 and a Switch, I’m stll looking forward to the games, nonetheless, though I’m sad that there’s plenty of games that came out for years and I’ll never get to play them all, especially since we’re getting into next-gen console territory. Anyways, here are the biggest games I’m looking forward:

Devil May Cry 5: I’m happy to see there’s finally a new Devil May Cry game after 10 years since DMC4 came out. I only played DMC1 and DMC3. With the reveal at E3, the song Devil Trigger is the second best thing to come out of it (the first being the reveal itself) because I couldn’t stop listening to it for like a week and occasionally a couple of days, etc.

Every gameplay footage I’ve seen of the game and it’s looking damn fresh. I’m also happy to hear that DMC5 is taken place after DMC2 in the timeline, that’s one of the things from the DMC lore I always wanted because I didn’t want prequel after prequel.

Seems like my sister is really thirsty to get a PS4 to play DMC5 (because she was the first one to get into DMC after all, and when she asked me to play DMC1 for a little bit, I played the rest of it (and she never got to play DMC1 again and DMC3, unless she gets to play the HD Collection)).

Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes: I genuinely have mixed feelings for Travis Strikes Again. In one hand, I’m happy there’s finally a new No More Heroes game after a long time, but in the other hand, it’s not No More Heroes 3, like I always wanted, which that’s part of my disappointments with this game.

The more I look at it, the more I started to feel like I’m not really fond of the direction Travis Strikes Again is taking, particularly the one element I like the least is all of the indie game stuff. The game doesn’t even look good too, for a game made in Unreal Engine 4, looks like crap.

The biggest thing that completely hurt me is that Robin Atkin Downes is NOT reprising his role as Travis. He tweeted about it on September 2nd, 2017, a while after the game was revealed. Although, based on newer footage, it seems like Travis does sound like Robin Atkin Downes, if my ears can’t deceive me, but I can’t jump into conclusions 100%.

Suda has also stated that there will be No More Heroes 3 if Travis Strikes Again is successful, but given the timing of the release, January 18th, that’s a week before big titles like Kingdom Hearts 3 comes out, even if it’s a week, Travis Strikes Again probably won’t succeed in sales, if it indeed happens, there will be no No More Heroes 3, seems like my hopes and dreams are shattered. Travis Strikes Again will have similar problems to The World Ends With You: Final Remix, which sold poorly and a sequel is now unlikely.

I think I started to hate how developers always bring these “We’ll make a sequel if our product does well.” excuses, they don’t know if their product may turn bad critically and financially.

Despite my skepticisms with how the game looks and everything behind it overall, I’m ironically still rooting for Travis Strikes Again, I still want the game to succeed somehow and to live up my No More Hero spirit. I want it to either make or break a good comeback for a series I love the most.

But gameplay aside, my main priority is the story, it may or may not answer a few things about what happened to Travis and Santa Destroy in 8 (or 9 as it’s released in January 2019) years since No More Heroes 2, I JUST WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING. I may have high expectations from said things, that aside, even if the story is crap (or rather the whole game) is crap, it seems like Travis Strikes Again could be my biggest dealbreaker ever, if I’ll be 100% sure about that. (Like how Danganronpa V3 brought one of the worst plot twists yet, I’m not 100% sure if I should be disappointed or just deal with it despite having mixed feelings).

I can’t hate Travis Strikes Again, I can’t feel disappointed on it, I want to like it and everything on it, etc. (Since I’m an indecisive person, I can’t even decide which feelings should I choose?)

While I don’t own a Switch (yet), I may watch some playthroughs if I can, but this is something I’d really love to play the game myself, I wouldn’t mind reading spoilers, but at the same time, I’m conflicted on what to do.

Anyways, it’d better be successful or fail, if it fails, say no more to No More Heroes 3, my hopes and dreams for a real NMH3 will be forever shattered and lose faith in Suda51 for good, and I poured tears of joy (I legit cried) from the Travis Strikes Again announcement from the Switch reveal in January 2017 in vain.

...That is until December 20th, I was watching the Famitsu presentation but my mom turned off the internet 30 minutes later, but when I woke up that morning, literally the first thing I saw on Twitter was a tweet by Grasshopper where they tweeted that... ROBIN ATKIN DOWNES IS RETURNING AS TRAVIS AFTER ALL! Then I saw the Gematsu post about the season pass and HOLY SHIT, SHINOBU AND BAD GIRL!

I’m happy that they both got revealed (and their returning voices, double yay), but I’m more surprised on Bad Girl because ISN’T SHE DEAD, THOUGH?! Ahem, yeah, isn’t she supposed to be dead or there may be some sort of simulation from the Death Drive, I dunno, but hey, at least Badman (which he’s voiced by Steve Blum, which is nice) can get to have a reunion with his daughter... kind of.

There’s also this new character as one of the stage bosses, Brian Buster Jr., I don’t think I would find anything to add to the character (haven’t seen him much at all), and I’m not much familiar with the actor, Greg Ellis, but I checked his portofolio and I am somewhat familiar with his works now.

With all that said, my faith in Travis Strikes Again has restored, but I need to see how would Henry and Sylvia look like after all this years and my life will be completed.

Oh, but when his translator announced that Travis won’t be in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate LIVE, THAT I won’t ever forgive! ¡Pero qué vergüenza que se sirvan de este tipo de trampas!

(This is worse than the FFXV anniversary stream which it was basically a funeral for the DLCs)

Code Vein: I was so looking forward to this one this year, but months before the game came out in the September release date, it got delayed until nexr year, I don’t know why but if they got some stuff to improve, let them take their time. Besides, I already got God Eater 3, anyways.

Azur Lane: Crosswave: If the anime wasn’t enough, there’s also a PS4 game of Azur Lane already. Seems like AL really has escalated quickly.

It’s developed by Felistella and Compile Heart, which the latter is known as the makers of the Neptunia franchise. It’s a love it or hate it kind of situation with their games, though I’ve seen more hate on the Neptunia series from one person (sorry for calling you out if you’re reading this) than... Erin Fitzgerald’s Noire, but that won’t stop me from trying to play Azur Lane: Crosswave.

However, some of the games from their portofolio may be mediocre at best, I may expect AL: Crosswave to also be somewhat mediocre or maybe even New Gundam Breaker level garbage (okay, my expectations are outlandish), but I still hope it’ll turn out to be a good game.

I definitely like what I’m seeing so far, especially the character models because it feels nice to see the shipfus brought to 3D.

They also teased that there are two original characters, they haven’t revealed them yet, and when they do, I’m sure they’ll look great, they may be exclusive to the game, but that won’t stop me for wanting them to appear in the base game. (It’s a similar situation on how I want Charlamagne from Fate/Extella Link to appear in FGO eventually)

Unlike the anime, this one is indeed planned to release sometime in 2019, though a delay may eventually happen, but we can still count it as a 2019 release for now.

By the way, both Granblue Fantasy and Azur Lane are getting console games when Fate/Grand Order hasn’t gotten one yet. ;_;

Anticipated movies: When it comes to anticipated movies, my top picks are always Marvel movies, because why the fuck not? As in for anime movies, my top pick would be Fate/Stay Night: Heaven’s Feel (the FGO Camelot movie too but if it would be a theatrical release, which matters for me the most), but there may be other non-Marvel, non-DC movies

Avengers: Endgame: At last I’ve been waiting for trailer AND the title for the long called Avengers 4. Really hoping for Endgame to top Infinity War.

Spider-Man: Far From Home: Still waiting to see the trailer right now, but it seems like it would create problems of spoiling Avengers: Endgame or something, for the moment, the synopsis and the trailer description from CCXP are enough for me to get hyped for the film...

...Give me the god damn trailer, Sony, Marvel, whoever (certainly not Disney).

Between Avengers: Endgame and Spider-Man: Far From Home, I’m debating on which one of these films are gonna be my #1 film, it’s the same problem I faced on the last minute before seeing Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, I was like “which one should be my #1? Infinity War or Spider-Verse?” and it turned out to be Spider-Verse, no surprise.

Captain Marvel: This one I feel like I’m the least hyped for Captain Marvel compared to Avengers: Endgame and Spider-Man: Far From Home, but I’m still gonna see it, anyways, I just want to see what happens to Carol Danvers to not be around in the first Iron Man movie and The Avengers.

Dark Phoenix: I wonder if this could be the last X-Men movie made by Fox because of the Disney-Fox deal, depending on the success.

I’m also surprised that they dropped the “X-Men” on the title, but it’s still being used internationally (including Latin America).

Not that I think X-Men: Apocalypse was bad, but I do acknowledge that it was bad, I hope Dark Phoenix could be better than Apocalypse.

New Mutants: It still baffles me how would Fox drop the first trailer of New Mutants ages ago and then delay the film for a full year.

I heard they would capitalize on IT’s success and I feel like it would be copying someone’s success and it could fail very badly. I still want New Mutants to be succesful, somehow.

Speaking of IT...

IT Chapter 2: Just want to say definitely looking forward to Chapter 2.

Joker origin movie: It’s a movie coming out on my birthday! This time, coming out EXACTLY on the 4th, instead of the 5th like Venom. I’m really interested to see how will Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker would be like, he certainly looks way better than the Jared Leto Joker.

Also, I thought the one DC movie coming out in 2019 was Wonder Woman 1984 but then I realized it’s coming in 2020, so in 2019, I got the Joker movie and I also forgot this one was coming out too...

Shazam!: There isn’t much I would talk about Shazam, though, just that gonna see it, I don’t have much thoughts on the film itself. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Star Wars Episode 9: After The Last Jedi and Solo, I really hope Star Wars could win fans back, sure, they did part of it with the revival of the Clone Wars series, but the hate still lies around the movies.

The Last Jedi sure caused a lot of backlash, maybe everyone has been relying on fan theories way too much to be disappointed on how the film turned out, even if it’s not that, then who knows how the backlash came from. Solo, sure, kicking Phil Lord & Chris Miller was a dick move from Disney (but firing James Gunn was the ultimate dick move), but the final film turned out decent enough, sadly it’s a financial failure, though (like I care about financial successes or anything).

This is one of those cases why I hate fandoms so much, contrary to what critics believe that TLJ is a great film, with high scores and everything, and then everyone else just call it an ultimate disaster.

I’m not that passionate with Star Wars to believe if I like TLJ or I hate it (I’m sure there’s an Earth where I do hate TLJ when I’ve been a life long Star Wars fan), despite having a bit of history with Star Wars (with the cartoons and even got a Lego; I’ve never seen the films ;_;), I’m indifferent with the franchise, but I’m on a mission that I’m going to watch the new films starting with The Force Awakens, I’m just liking the newer films without having to pay attention to the entire lore and everything (don’t worry, I do watch videos about easter eggs and references). I’m not the type of person to hate TLJ.

There hasn’t been much Episode 9 news lately, but by the time being in 2019, there will be trailers and everything.

Glass: Split was probably like my very first M. Night Shyamalan film, or maybe I’ve seen parts of The Last Airbender but in the form of promos or something, I can’t remember but Split was definitely my first Shyamalan film.

I really loved Split, and I heard that it was a sequel to Unbreakable, which I got to see it recently, which now I’m ready to watch this interesting trilogy.

Despite having a rough year, having a lot of issues, being an asshole, and everything else, I still had a lot of fun. I also made a lot of new friends from Discord, sometimes they can be tolerable, other times can not, not just my friends, anyone else too, but that’s just me.

I really hope to achieve new things, obtain new interests and habits, I’m going to do everything leading up to become 20 years old. Though, I’m still expecting a genetical change like I’ve always been and nothing happened, but I’m sure I’ll kickstart a new life starting at 20.

Let the new year begin, 2019, also known as the year set in Akira, Blade Runner, The Running Man and other few movies taken place in 2019, but the previously mentioned are the biggest ones. We still don’t have the technology that’s straight out of the future, but it’s getting close.

Thank you for the support, I love you all and let’s have a great 2019 together.

Twitter: @HKomaeda.

Discord: XtremeDespair3D#8157.