#which is so sad this was supposed to be messy and fun lmfao

[yellowis4happydraws]

Lil Adam West study for fun!

[ofmdee]

😵

been having some thinky thoughts today, and for a while, rly, abt my Feelings abt breathing underwater and i tried to type something up on twitter but that jsut was not letting me think my thoughts correctly

i love BU........... so goddamn much. it started out as nothing more than a silly idea abt little mermaid ed meeting stede and kind of ballooned into what ive built it up into today. it's so important to me... but it's making me a little miserable right now?

miserable because i dont want to work on it, but i WANT TO want to work on it, i want to tell this story and read the finished product, ive got so many ideas, but i just. cannot get myself to do the actual WORK of making sentences and then staging all the pics........... what used to be a fun little pastime now feels like a chore, an obligation, a compulsion almost. it sucks, but it sucks more NOT doing it, you know what i mean? idk.

i know ive built it up into this big THING to myself, like... idk, i do this so often, i have big ideas and love to plan and organize them and then i get going with such intensity until i abruptly fizzle out. i start things and dont finish them, and i guess i just rly dont want this to be another thing that gets thrown on my unfinished projects pile :/

i have the next 2 parts drafted, but every time i go back to poke at them and edit them i just get so disheartened because it's obvious that my heart wasn't really in writing them, and it's difficult to salvage a rough draft like that. part of me wants to just delete those parts entirely and say fuck it im taking an indefinite hiatus, and i will start fresh when this is fun again! which would probably be the best thing, actually, but... i am reluctant to do that, because i just dont have anything else to rly fill my time rn.

i havent been getting a lot of joy out of... anything, rly, for a long time now, im so bored and apathetic and even my normal go to things arent cutting it anymore. and idk if it's a depression thing or if im truly outgrowing some interests, but either way i know i need to get more Things in my life somehow, because writing and sims are my two biggest pastimes, and then i combined them, and then i got sick of both so ive got so little to go on! so i keep poking at the things that i used to love, hoping to find that spark again 😪 i love these little guys and their little world!!! and it makes me sad that im not actually having Fun with the PROCESS.

it doesn't help that i am constantly torn between man i wish more ppl read my fic!!! i work so hard on it!! and man i never want anyone to perceive me or my writing ever it's so amateur!! idk what i want and idk what i want to DO about it!!

so, idk!! idk where this is all going, lol, i just... wanted to try and organize these thoughts somehow.

trying to reason w myself that at the end of the day, i am writing a fanfiction. that's it. it's not that big of a deal, and yet it feels huge to me, somehow. I don't wanna let down the ppl who are reading it, and i dont wanna let myself down again, either.

BUT it's not supposed to make me feel miserable it is supposed to be fun i am lowkey crying rn because like urghghghgh why isnt it fun?!!?!

so. i think i gotta do some more thinking, because not making any kind of decision is making things worse! and idk, if all of this hasnt put u off of the idea of my fic, here is the series page lmfao i could use some encouragement i guess......

but i am going to seriously put more thought into an official hiatus, because i think i am getting Too preoccupied with it again and it's messing with me!!!

i actually had a decent time doing those kitty ed pics today, even tho they didn't do so hot, so maybe i am just gonna try to focus on that kind of thing, doing stuff that actually catches my attention, and also doing things without the intention of sharing them at all. allowing things to be messy. i get so caught up in the thought of someone else seeing my work that i paralyze myself trying to make it PERFECT.

i had a decent time doing that oneshot from ed's pov as well. so maybe i need to work on projects that are a bit smaller scale. i dont have to say goodbye to BU stuff forever, but i am just so ALL OR NOTHING that it feels like a way bigger decision than it actually is 😓

so i guess....... im gonna sleep on it for a while. think about it and try and come to a firm decision. because if i take a break, i need to REALLY take a break, which includes not thinking about it all the time and constantly beating myself up for not doing it 😅

idk, thank you if you read this far, here are a few kitty pics of ed for ur time:

[anonil88]

I guess I can liveblog me watching the premiere of Genera+ion and I'll be honest im only watching this because Justice is in it haha.

Genera+ion Ep.1 liveblog

This is rated TV-MA so watch at your own discretion.

Spoilers below as always

I'm glad this girl is wanting to call 911 which tbh she should of just called 911.

Chester:

Hi Chester this is cute but that would have been a dress code violation. Well at least this is realistic because he is getting a dress code write up.

I dont know how high-schools do this now but they had a bin of alternative clothing aka old school merchandise and extra gym clothes for you to change in.

This is semi realistic to how kids would talk to teachers in high-school aka not knowing the concept of boundaries.

Chester and Jules Vaughn would get along if only to steal eachothers clothes.

Oh he plays sports and is popular.....

Yea my alma mater high-school would have been like heres another violation because Chester is just walking around on school grounds like this:

Nooooooo please not another student/teacher relationship brewing. I hope this ends up just with Chester having a crush that isn't reciprocated but he learns and grows from it. I thought teacher student relationships were messy and gross even when I was in high school with a teacher crush.

Oh he's sad and alone but is super popular.

Wait Nathan is really at this party and is real and they are going to meet.

Yea thats not something to joke about Chester, even if it was like some repressed just sad phrase that sparks concern in a lot of people.

Who was that girl?

Who is this girl?

Where's Nathan? Uh what is going on? This is weird. (The setup of this conversation and the writing of the coversation is just weird and feels like something that wouldn't happen.)

Greta:

Someone has a crush? Or maybe she just compares herself a lot to this other girl.

Ana seems so fun. Ay I love this kid lmfao he is playing video games in a wig.

Oh she is gay.

This is how arguments with teenagers sometimes go as an adult, you just stand there like huh while they blow off that hormonal anger.

Uhhhhh this girl is a homophobe with gay parents.

So these stories do move in tandem got it.

Her story is so short by comparison

Nathan

What the fuck kind of p**n is this damn kid watching? Hot dogs?

They are self censoring themselves in a arguments? Just dont cuss at your parents and then you won't have to yell because who the hecking first place told you etc. etc. This sterile ass family calendar, ew.

The sibling chemistry when these two are supposed to be buddy buddy siblings is so so dry. They don't even feel like siblings.

Hydroflask sksksks

Oh he was drawing on her arm the entire time what does it say.

They are bringing up the savior feminist person that every single generation has.. That person always brings stuff like this up in the wrong class like math.

So their relationship is sour already? Huh?

Oh there is a church in this school or is it just

A dick pic?

Uh why would she record that? That is fucking weird especially because she is his little sister and she was snooping. All of this because he took a pic of her?

What a bitch threatening to out him (Even as someone who was outted i really am tired of this storyline being told time and time again in regards to queerness. Also its usually always happening to very non femme white m_n), and she is really low key homophobic. No wonder she's friends with that other homophobe girl. Why does she care if he's gay.

What high-school student is listening to Jessie Ware at a house party?

This is why he was freaking out? Because he got a little cum in his eye. Weird as fuck.

OH thats his sisters boyfriend's cum, oof. But who sleeps with their siblings brother? Especially a sibling that they were super close with? Revenge? For what?

Does he like this girl too and that guy since he's apparently bi.

This writing of this show is again sigh.

Oh it was her house party, why the fuck would he write that on his friend fucking weird. Me and my friends wrote on eachothers arms in high-school but it was drawings of pigeons and gloomy bear sometimes song lyrics. He wrote property of.....that's weird as hell.

Who is she i wanna know more about her?

And its over.

Overall: for a pilot this is meh very very lackluster, which is a bad sign for a pilot. There is little that makes this show special to me from the first episode. Which special can come from a lot of things but this episode did not have that special thing. I am going to watch the other two uploaded episodes to get a better idea of the show. I do think this show is much more realistic than a lot of other teen dramas. In terms of the scenarios happening are more palatable and the moments of 2nd hand embarrassment are realistic. Those moments thats are supposed to be funny or give you a chuckle feel very dry. In general the writing is......

I do think people who are adverse to programs like Skins and Euphoria (which euphoria is realistic but has dramatics and is very in your face about heavy topics) will enjoy this. This reminds me of shows like Degrassi and Grand Army with a bit more "grit" and not as graphic as other teen shows. Warning there is still some mentions, alluding to, and depictions of sexual encounters and p**n. If anyone else watched or watches this show im interested in your thoughts.

[survivemiddleearth]

Rites of Passage

-

Crow- Bruh. I thought we were going to be friends/allies in this game but then I hear you were telling the entire tribe how I was not to be trusted and as much as you mock me for my lack of a social game, it sure saved me there! But still love ya and hope things have gotten better, and hey, maybe you were smart for targeting me from the start :P

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmc21V-zBq0 

Roxy- runaway with me noww  oh its come away with me fuck

Dylan- king of first boot

Well mine was short lol. but I think Crow has played an amazing game and def deserves this dub :)

Crow- Although I personally trusted you, you were just unfortunately the outsider from the start and with having proof of Drew/Zach sparing me, I didn't want to risk reaching my neck out for you and getting labeled as trying to play both sides. You were robbed though, it was just because our tribe was so garbage at comps...

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2WWrupMBAE 

Roxy- We didn’t meet in this game

Dylan- king of second boot

-

Crow- Legendary flop! You were hilarious and completely messy and if there's any way to bond with me, it's that. Unfortunately flops are always targeted for some reason pre-merge (maybe cuz they wreck their tribe average??? no shade, but) but I would have KILLED for your commentary from post-merge onwards cuz I felt completely alone being the only one constantly hogging the spotlight :/

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfHHv7yOYX0

Roxy- skinny legend

Dylan- you would have killed the lip syncing comp but these losers flipped the vote

Aah, what a fun time I had during this game (from the little I remember). I still would like to say it was a wonderful tribal, 8-0? wow so great. COuldn’t do it without people hating me <3 jkjk. Anyways! It was fun while it lasted and hopefully was fun for everyone that was in it too.

Crow-  Okay, truth be told, I really thought you were like the social queen of your tribe but when tribal came around and people said your name, I felt powerless, as the only person from Pikachu, to try and sway it, and especially when you seemed okay with it. Thank you for having a graceful exit, not many people can do that nowadays....

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CID-sYQNCew 

Roxy- http://sketchtoy.com/68755176 

Dylan- queen of having crazy fast internet. accepted her defeat which was iconic 

This game seemed very fun and I loved the opportunity to play, I wish I didn’t get so busy so I could’ve backstabbed Roxy like I planned. Ah well. Congrats on getting so far I hope the game was fun for you all!

Crow- I know I'm a big reason why you were cut just shy of merge but it was more of a move to solidify Sammy/Johnny (and supposed to be Eric...) and break apart the potential trio I saw in you, Roxy, and Dennis (I mean, now I'm sitting next to both of them in f4 so can't say I regret it :P ) You were a very intelligent, brash guy and I hope you know that your placement was not indicative of your game. Hope the novel turns out well!

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1tAYmMjLdY 

Roxy- MY AUSSIE BUDDY UGH/ I wonder how this game wouldve gone with you here. You were fun to talk to and play  with and i loved chatting about the shows we both loved together/

Dylan- king of being blindsided. second season where I watched you get blindsided from a different tribe. 

-

Crow- Thank god you didn't try in this game. I didn't even want to get into the ring with you again and go for Round 3. Thanks for making this one easy :P

Dennis-  You freaking stole my tom bombadil to just be inactive -.-

Roxy- L

Dylan-  making it to merge without doing anything ? queen

That damn bitch Beyoncé got me again huh. I swore I wouldn't let her after last time but she always has to have the last word. Thank god she's been outed as a satanic black witch!!! Thank you to the brave former drummer for walking in the light and exposing her depravity. I will expect my reparations settlement money in the mail.

Crow- Okay I literally feel so bad like comforting you in that round but know that I was completely blindsided by it myself so I really hope that wasn't misunderstood as me trying to make sure you were blindsided asghsgsho but thanks for taking the bullet then! Love a good shiel- bodyguard.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdCslA8xs98

Roxy-  nnnn I remember when I saw you in merge I was hyper excited to play with you. I never really allied with you or met you in games so finally getting to play with you finally a familiar face from your tribe was refereshing and welcoming. I told you to f2 me or im quitting lmfao. That lasted long ... rdfc Your vote off was a mess of flipping multiple names thrown and idols. I feel like we drifted during the day or 2 leading up to the tribal and we didn't really talk game that round which was sad. I really wanted to have you as a clsoe allly that game but it ended up the way it did since I saw jg as a closer ally.

Dylan- literally actually the most robbed person in this entire game. you were missed

This game was pretty fun. All of the people I was close to voting me out and losing on a twist was pretty shitty. I’d just never do these challenges ever again. :P

Crow- You're honestly just a mess. P.S. My beard is now gone because of you.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRh_vgS2dFE

Roxy- hahah hi hi johnny. “Daddy”. You are always a great blast to play with even though we have yet to truly get somewhere together. ALthough in hos we were close it was just a diverging of end game interests that tore us apart. I remember the jokes we made about applying for this org. I had no idea when I was applying that I would make it this far and when I applied for you as a joke haha. My biggest regret is not telling you about the vote and what was going down. Our relationship this game was sort of foggy but it was great while it lsted. 

Dylan- voted for me but you’re so lovable 

-

Crow- We were never on a pre-merge tribe together, then you made the big-ass move to blindside Drew at the first vote (without telling me, which no hard feelings) so when it came down to our mini-tribe's tribal, I felt like it was too little too late for both of us to try and make something happen together? I'd say we just fell on opposite sides rather than being enemies. But I hope you've been watching because I know you're an analytical guy who's obsessed with Survivor so I would love to hear your input as a juror.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YShWLjj1TO0 

Roxy- UGH SO ROBBED!!! We had so much potential to play a fun game together but the unmerge robbed us of that T_T im glad we got to play together for one round at least

Dylan-  you and I have a lot in common, we both put our trust in the wrong person.

Hey y’all! This was game was fun and fresh and I did better than last time so I definitely achieved my goal! There really wasn’t anything shady going on until the night I left and I’m sure that was aired out so I have nothing to spill. Tbh I was just bored and wanted to be messy and have fun. It was a fun last night! I had a great time playing with everyone and good luck to the final 4!

Crow- Truth be told, I really didn't see myself voting you out so soon. I thought we were working together, sorta, but it always felt like you had better allies? Which I don't fault you for, I know I was not the most critical ally, for like, anyone in this game, but that's purely the reason I decided to vote you out over Eric. I might regret it though since Eric pretty much shunned me from there on out and I know you would've really appreciated me saving you.....but it is what it is. (also you didn't swipe on my tinder so im kinda insulted but dats fine!)

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM 

Roxy- Hey zach!! You seem like a really sweet person. We didn’t really hit if off and we never clicked together. WE had different allies and diff groups so us allyining was never really an option. I recon its just how the game unfolded and you were loyal to your allies while i was to mine and i respect you for that despite the mess of how you left. 

Dylan- why didn’t you give me the legacy idol. I’m kidding I would’ve misused it 

I really didn’t know what I was getting into here, and I REALLY liked it!! Who knew performing arbitrary semi-public tasks with complete strangers could be so much fun? I wish each of you the best, in the game and out of it. May Manwë smile upon those who walk the world; may Mandos rule with steady hand those who rest in his hall.

Crow- Literally, you were the only one I was just like, hey, he's probably not going to lie to me. And so it's ironic that we also never talked game other than the casual vote here and then....you were a very interesting person though so I wish I hadn't got caught up in the game as much and really tried to connect with you as a person, and for that, I take the blame.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE-1RPDqJAY 

Roxy- Ford!! When I first saw you in the scvanger hunt I asked "are you single ?" nnn you seem like a cool dude and you were fun to play with despite the fact we never really talkde game and we werent really aligned this game/ I still promised you to be honest to you and I think i pulled through on that. It was amazing fun to play with you and i hope you luck in yoru studies.

Dylan- you were amazing sweetie as a newbie you made it so far omg 

Hey guys! Like I said before I quit, I have no regrets about the game and how I played it. If I stuck around the community I would have loved to be friends with all of you! Best of luck to you all and may the best player win!

Crow- Hope everything is okay in your real life and I hope you were never offended by anything I did or said. I completely understand your game decisions and you don't ever need to apologize for them. You were a chaotic mess, but genuine and real, so you have my respect. You also proved what I've always thought you were (even back in Great Lakes) as a really go-getter type of player.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrcMMyNeJJs 

Roxy- rip gl with life

Dylan- I loved how we found middle ground during the F7. 

hiii yes i don’t have much to say. i had a blast and made some amazing friends and just goofed off a lot. No hard feelings, you are all icons...I’m rooting for one of you but i wish you all good luck!

Crow- Okay I love you as a person, but like, you also betrayed me for no reason so I'm a little confused as to why or how we stand now, but just know that whatever your reasons for doing so, it doesn't change how I see you as a person. And even through my bitterness in the betrayal, I will admit, you didn't deserve to go out like that.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSvFpBOe8eY 

Roxy- Sammy!! Weve had a very varied ride in our org careers and this game was no exception/ I feel like timezones really got to us this time round and early on our games diverged when I tried to save stephen and you tried to save Eric.  During merge and then unmerge i think you bonded more with jay and that tribe so we never really played as allies. Howveer i think the way you left did not give you justice. Jay letting you get idoled out after you were one of the few who stuck with her and then her quitting just because people were voting her out. You did NOT deserve that. And I was honestly  mad at jay for doing you dirty. 

Dylan- cirie who ? Jay shoulda used that idol on you you were the second most robbed queen 

-

Crow- Well, I had your back. I knew of multiple of your misdeeds in previous rounds and I think you knew that? But game-wise we were very compatible in playing styles (not similar, but definitely compatible - you were the strategic one, I was the......other...one) so although your exit was less than glorious for me, I do hope you find comfort in your gameplay and know that you were really impactful on the game, for better or worse.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXzDu071RdQ 

Roxy- nnnnnn she snapt

Dylan- there’s not enough space to describe anything but the takeaway is that I hope you know that like I actually genuinely care about your well being 

We just want to say a sincere thank you to everyone who came to have fun and played to their fullest extent. Jo and I have worked on this game for months and like we’ve said all along: the goal for this was for everyone to have fun in the chaos and the world of LOTR and Survivor combined. There’s a lot of drama and toxicity in the org community and in the world right now and if this game provided you with any sort of reprieve from either that’s all we could ever hope for. We hope you had a great time, we know we did, and we want to reiterate again: thank you all for bringing this game to life and for participating. Good luck to our final 4!

Love, 

Olivia and Joanna <3

[ts-hvv4]

EPISODE FIVE: “YOU HEAR THAT NOISE? ITS THE SOUND OF AN UPRISING” - Chris

BARRY MANILOW IS DISGUSTED WITH THIS CHOICE OF CHALLENGE @nicole @owen @monty @andrew

Kage has just been voted out and I have a lot of thoughts in my head when LO AND BEHOLD Ned messages me saying how Jake talked about Armonia sticking together, also wanting Olivia safe, and Andreas/Dennis/me picked off. I dunno if it is true or not but I have to laugh.  Malik and Ned were supposedly on the bottom of the tribe, but I suspect now these two wanna flip and such. Now this is further complicated by me not knowing where Sarah, Matt, Nicklas, and Lukas stand and I fear that if/when we merge, there is intention on getting a person like me out. Nevertheless, I need to do as much talking as I can with people

Ned just came to me telling me, that at Ancient Thera Jake told him, they bamboozled my og tribe and want to stick together and stay "OG Armonia strong" and want Ned to save Olivia... Oh boy. I feel really really good about Ned telling me this, I guess that means that Olivia so far is the person to go, IF we lose the challenge and I somehow need to find out a way to warn the others, even though that could blow up my game come merge aswell. But first off, thank you ned <3

You hear the noise? It's the sound of an uprising! I am so about to start chanting some Les Misérables up in here. Like I can be a pretty calm person but when it comes to adversity, I don't whine and cry about it, I act about it to bring a change for myself and right now I feel I need a change or else I am screwed. So alas, it's time to rally the troops

how did last round even happen LMFAO... so skrt skrt lets rewind ladies! we lose the challenge because certain judges don’t have TASTE. and it was a mess cus we were all sure we would win so we didn’t talk for 3 days LMFAO. i was nervous cus my old tribe was in the minority, but i am close with Nicklas. I kept telling him and the others that i don’t really trust Trent and would gladly vote him out, however Nicklas told me before that there was some mistrust with Kage. So I pushed that to him, saying i would feel better with Kage going now, and that i’d vote trent the next time we lose. He said he would consider it but was very weary. ...then a couple hours later sarah decides she wants Kage out? I was confused, and Sharifa was freaking tf out. Oh also Sharifa told me she has the idol, fun FACT. But near tribal Sarah made a chat of me her nicklas matt sharifa and kurt to discuss a vote. We agreed on Kage, and somehow... he went home LOL. So, I guess I’m feeling a bit more secure. But in terms of the overall game, i am worried because apparently the other tribe thinks i’m inactive (um i give the energy i receive and matt and kage sucked ass at talking to me so i wasn’t going to bother having a dry conversation) so i wonder if people won’t take me seriously in this game ! boo. whatever. anyways i’m at the ancient thera and i better get an idol period 

I’m just a fat little bitch who loves berries

DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING? SINGING A SONGS OF ANGRY MEN? IT IS THE MUSIC OF THE PEOPLE WHO WILL NOT BE SLAVES AGAIN. WITH THE BEATING OF YOUR HEART ECHOES THE BEATING OF THE DRUMS, THERE IS A LIFE ABOUT TO START WHEN TOMORROW COMES!

im so glad we won immunity, i need a damn BREAK. but now i’m nervous that Ned is going to get voted out because he’s basically inactive lmao. but i hope he survives. sarah approached me last night and asked if i found my “Dani” in the game (aka my loyal ride or die) and i said no and she said good because she wants to work with me. she then asks if i’m good with sharifa and kurt and i say yes and she says that she “adores” them. hm idk what to think! i asked who she was close w on her old tribe, and of course she says “i like them all equally :)” -.- if we happen to lose again, i think i would want matt or lukas out the most because i don’t know how much i actually trust them, but i think we might be stuck voting trent if they really want us to pay them back for the kage vote. i just need another tribe swap!!!!!!!!

Too much pressure

Chris found the idol!!!!!! I am so happy for him, and for the trio of me/dennis/chris. I now know where half the idols in this game are ....... this is INCREDIBLE!! Olivia continues to not speak game with me at all, and Keegan isn't much better. Given the new tea that Ned spilled about Olivia and Jake, we are for sure targeting Olivia. The vote should be 3-2-2 right now, with Dennis, Malik, and Ned voting Olivia. Then Chris and I are voting Keegan, with Olivia and Keegan throwing their votes on either Chris or I. With the idol, even if we have any funny business at tribal like votes, etc - then we should be good..... i pray haha

We lost the challenge which is unfortunate but not surprisingly. This tribe is just full of challenge flops. Scrambling for tribal has been... minimal to say the least. DENNIS is saying he’ll vote for anyone as long as he survives the round. CHRIS is saying he hopes tribal lines aren’t still in play but is willing to do what he has to survive. And ANDREAS is just kind of floating there not scrambling too hard. The TINKY CLAN is currently deciding who to vote between ANDREAS and CHRIS since we want DENNIS around for challenges. Ultimately it doesn’t really matter which of the three get votes off as long as they don’t have idols and we manage to make it through unscathed. The McBITCHES still need to reunite. On that note, major props to the OG AMMONIA tribe for getting KAGE voted out.

OLIVIA and I are hatching a plan to maybe have MALIK idoled out of the game. As it turns out, OLIVIA and NED are both getting annoyed with how MALIK is playing the game and don’t really want to continue working with him. And that’s fair. I think MALIK is a great person but as a player. Yikes. He sure is messy. Right now we’re deciding whether we want to tell DENNIS straight up to vote for MALIK, hoping he passes the word to CHRIS and ANDREAS, or if we should hang back and just not really let them in on the current plan to vote out ANDREAS. We could just straight up vote out MALIK but that seems like a bad option at the moment. Might lead to a 3-3 tie next tribal and possibly rocks, which would be terrible.

I am BEYOND tired of Olivia slandering me, talking down on me, and trying to come for me not once but TWICE this game. I knew the Matt thing had to have been true because Chris told me and Chris isn’t a liar, he never lies to me. I didn’t know about Matt, but Olivia apparently confirmed it TO ANDREAS. Seriously, what is this girls issue with me? She’s been at me, saying all this shit about me but acting so nice and cool to me to my face. I felt like I’ve legit done nothing to her, and I’ve even apologized more than once just in case I did anything. But now you wanna come for me. Hopefully tonight this bullshit will end, with it in my favor of you going home, because I am so sick of her and her antics. I’m using this to vent so I don’t blast off at her whether I or her leave this tribal. Gotta be careful sis.

I really hope the core group of five actually have my back. I definitely feel they do, but I’m just so paranoid after the news recently about it. I really am so nervous because no vote has gone the exact way it’s supposed to so far, but I hope that is five are good and we all stay. If an idol takes me out I’ll be so sad. I love those guys! Ned, Dennis, Andreas and Chris! ❤️🔥 Teen Titans!

Today has pretty much been INSANE. I owned having the idol to Andreas/Dennis and hopefully they believe me when I say I just found it, Olivia/Keegan finally lived for Matt and Sarah's warning that they wanted Malik out, and so now, this is hopefully going to be a 3-2-2 vote of all Armonia, which will probably cause confusion with the other tribepeeps hopefully! Meanwhile, Ned/Malik want to work with us, Malik trusts me even more, and tbh I feel so good. It all is beginning to feel like it is coming all together!

[bigbrothermonopoly]

EPISODE 6:

HOH: JESS

EVICTED: CHRIS 6-3

JESS:

BRIEN:

BRIEN:

BRIEN:

CHRIS:

Please on everything let the nominations stay the same 😂. This is the perfect scenario to backdoor someone. I’ll be pissed if I don’t get taken out by Andrew. If I die and get evicted , I want the satisfaction of being defeated by my enemy, not someone who works for them. The ban hammer is coming though, once we get on an HoH , it’s time to play 

KORI:

So let's see, Gwen now knows about Emma's advantage. Apparently Brien told her, I'm mildly worried she doesn't believe me when I told her I didn't know that Emma had the advantage though I stupidly said I knew she had a SINGLE light blue... so it was a sort of truth because that was true awhile ago. That's a storyline waiting to blowup in my face later I'll bet. I'm glad Jess won HoH because I feel like my odds of staying pretty much certain this week. ADDITIONALLY, I LOVE the current nomset, especially if Brien is the one that goes. But naturally fate will intervene and someone will win Veto shaking things up. I mean I didn't expect Eve to go, and look what happened. I'm trying to be optimistic since I don't think I'm bombing this... TOO hard. I just keep worrying I might make a social misstep (Assuming I haven't already). There's just so much constantly happening and honestly it IS tiresome playing this middle role. I think it'll eventually bite me in the ass. Gwen told me about Dem's tea apparently being about me according to Chris. I tried probing Chris to see if he'd tell me that Dem was slandering me, I was just talking about how much I trust our group. (To be frank, I think I laid it on too thick.) He didn't give though. I think it's a good gauge to see if people want Dem to go. We'll have to see if others beyond Gwen come forward with this info. In the meanwhile I made $50! I missed the last couple 1 to a mistake which Gwen got. The other I'm not sure since I simply wasn't online. If I can make back another $100 I'll meet the amount I'm "supposed" to have after having bought the utilities. I still don't think I'll ever have enough to "make a move" in this game, but maybe I can prevent someone else's. A railroad purchase isn't too crazy if I can get things and people to line up properly. I feel like my ideal 3 at THIS moment is Myself, Emma, and Jess. While my ideal next 3 boots are Brien, Dem, and one of Andrew and Chris.

GWEN:

I feel like Chris is lying to me about something, but I don't know what. I definitely trust Kori 100%. The information that I share with him does not get out. The only thing that I haven't shared is that Chris and I literally go on call every night and like fall asleep. I'm debating whether to tell him...I feel like if I wait too long, he might not trust me. But if Chris tells him, I might break Kori's trust. I might tell him tomorrow. We will see. I would say that on a game/strategic level, but Chris definitely more on a personal level. But like Chris COULD be totally playing me. I wouldn't put it past him. But luckily, I have my guard up and I'm totally aware that this could be a possibility. I really hope Brien goes home. He's toooo snakey. I'm still not totally sure who shared the info about the alliance with Dem...but time will tell. I have the Cloud 9 power. Chris, Austin, and I put our resources together to get it. I can use it on me or on them, but I can't transfer it. Obviously, I told Kori about it as it was going down. Lol. But I trust Kori not to throw me under the bus. I WANT to trust Chris. I'm trying to feed his ego in case that is the case. OMG Chriss you are such a great Will Kirby OMG teach me your ways. Like I haven't had people fooled before. But in all seriousness, I hope that Chris and I can continue to be friends once the game is over. BUT IN THIS GAME I WILL DO WHAT I NEED TO DO TO PROTECT MYSELF. Oh also, I'm getting closer with Kristine. I like her. I wish I was closer with Jess and William. I feel like Jess doesn't quite trust me, which is sad. We shall see.

GWEN:

Chris, Chris, Chris...you silly silly boy. I'm ONTO YOU. And you don't even realize you did it to yourself. You are sooooo lucky to be up next to a showmance right now. I might have to play this charade for one or two more rounds. I just need to try to get you out without you knowing I did it so you don't blow up my game. And get you to give me your money. (DEVIL EMOJI).

GWEN:

As I wait 8 more minutes until I can search for an idol in another ORG...I figured I would elaborate on my last DR. Chris, Chris, Chris. First of all, your talk with Dem today was complete BS. And you didn't give me a straight answer when I asked what was happening. You think you are soooo clever manipulating everyone a la Dr. Will. Not on my watch MR. You may have charmed me for a while, but I am onto you and I am coming for you. And for someone who doesn't want to be found on the internet, it was pretttttty lazy of you to post a picture of you with your work badge with your last name showing Mr. Chris. Easy Facebook search and what do I find? Mr. Chris has a girlfriend of at least a year. How does she feel about you staying up on call with me almost every night for a week? Sounds like either you don't tell her (which I would be pissed about) OR you think I'm just a tool to use in this game. Well, watch me hammer you out of here and give me your money in the process. I don't know how yet. But I will. Don't you worry. Until then, I'm just your sweet, innocent, naive Gwen. "OMG Chris how do you do it you are sooooooo good. OMG Chris get on call with me tonight. OMG Chris." Please. You may be lucky and not go this week, but guess what? I have someone that I actually trust 100% in Kori and between the two of us, we will cook up a plan. He will be finding out about your shenanigans tomorrow. Have fun in VL/Jury House. Byeeeee.

WILLIAM:

Ummmmmmmmmmm.... Alot happened in the last few days... 1.) Everyone found out about an alliance of 6. 2.) Dem lost his shit, both making everyone mad and showing that he is emotional but also exposed many more people. 3.) Kristine said the Brien started the whole alliance and decided to leave me out, and 4.) Chris (Who is on the block...) TOLD ME HE MADE THE ALLIANCE AND CHOOSE TO LEAVE ME OUT... Like do you want me to vote to keep you???

BRIEN:

BRIEN:

https://youtu.be/y5F4dQL_CKk

AUSTIN:

I believe I fucked myself. I decided to team up with Chris and Gwen so we could get a full property set. The plan was that I ended up with the set but I got stuck giving it to Gwen. I trust her but I don’t trust Chris. I need him to go so there is a better chance of Gwen using the power on me. Also he decided to throw me under the bus multiple times so I don’t trust him one bit. On the contrary, I’m in an alliance with Andrew, Jess, and Mackenzie and I feel very safe with them. 

KORI:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgDcG250h60&feature=youtu.be

JESS:

Holy fucking shit. I knew my HOH reign would be messy but I didn't expect it to be as messy as it is probably going to be. A lot of people are cracking. There are sooooo many god damn cracks. Which was kind of the goal. I knew there was a high chance of there being some strong connections between people and people usually crumble under pressure. I know with me as HOH there is A LOT OF UNCERTAINTY between people so people are going to crack. So after nominations Brien had come up to me basically insinuating that he said screenshots to prove my word was shit which is fine because my word is DEF shit to people I don't trust aka: Brien. But the way he went about this conversation kind of had me dying lmfao. He basically was saying how my word was shit but then 5 minutes later.... outed an entire side of the house? IT JUST DOESN'T ADD UP SIS. BUT points were def made. He basically outed a majority alliance which had fucking two people I thought I trusted? Honestly though, I knew I couldn't trust Kori. The guy literally had the personality of a wet Kleenex, Emma is going to float to the end and probably win because she's harmless, Chris is a snake, and Kristine is charismatic. The End.