#which is part of why they'd never take me lets be honest

[slaymitchabernathy]

Guilty as Charged

Soarynn Snow would never consider herself to be a rule-breaker.

Ever since she was a little girl, she’s always followed the rules, the directions, the instructions, the guidelines. She saw no point in deviating, not when it would only end in her having to fix her mistakes and work twice as hard.

It turns out that following the rules applies to the ones marriage as well. There are a lot of unspoken rules in marriage, what to do, what to say, how to act. Over the years she's gotten acquainted with them and has learned to live with them.

But the other day she broke one, and it wasn't an uspoken one. It was a very clear, very explicit rule, written in red, bold ink and underlined several times in case she tried to act like she didn't see it.

Even now she's walking on thin ice, waiting for the ball to drop, for her husband to call her out on it.

The days have gone by at a tortoruous pace and her neves have only grown bigger and bigger by each passing day. The worst part is, he hasn't mentioned it once, which is unusual for Coriolanus who loves to point out a fault the moment he notices it.

She quietly walks down the hallway towards the guest rooms, needing some more blankets when she hears his deep voice call out to her from his study as she passes by.

"Darling."

Maybe she didn't hear him.

"Soarynn, I know you heard me."

She bites her lip, she knew they'd talk about it eventually, but not now! Sheepishly, she turns on her heel, peering into his study with the deceny to look guilty, "Oh, were you calling me?"

He cocks his head, beckoning her into the room with the curl of his index and middle finger. Soarynn swallows, there's no turning back now. Being inside of her husband’s study is still strange even after all these years, it's so masculine, so dark, so him.

And he looks devilishly handsome right now sitting in his chair, legs spread, curls tussled, shirt slightly unbuttoned. "Mhm," he answers, not looking impressed by her little innocent act, "why don't you have a seat?" He points at the chair across from his desk which casues her to frown, she always sits on his lap, not a chair.

Why sit anywhere but Coriolanus Snow's lap if you don't have to?

It's pointless to argue so she nods, rounding the desk so she can take a seat. Soarynn smooths down her skirt, crossing her legs at the ankle like the proper lady she is and is known to be. Coriolanus clasps his hands in front of him, he doesn't look angry which is good, but he doesn't look thrilled which is bad.

He's right in the middle of uncharted territory.

Soarynn doesn't have a map.

"The bank statement came today," he announces, nodding at a single sheet of paper sitting on the desk. It’s creased from being folded into an envelope which makes her wish she was checking the mail everyday, she could have avoided this mess for a little longer if she intercepted the mail.

He would've found out eventually, Coriolanus always sniffs out the truth like a bloodhound. He despises liars which means she has to be honest with him, even if the truth hurts.

All she says is, "Oh."

A smirk grows across his lips, he's always loved making her nervous, getting her flustered and it's so easy with him. Coriolanus has always had this effect on her since their first date. He's just so charming, so suave, always knowing what to say to make her blush.

"Why don't you read it out loud for me?"

Soarynn sits up straighter in her chair, a good captain goes down with her ship, even if she's the reason it's sinking in the first place. "I'd rather not." His eyebrows shoot up, rarely does Soarynn ever push back on anything he says, there's no reason to. Coriolanus is far from unreasonable, and she knows he'd never do anything to intentionally hurt her.

"Alright then darling," he says with a sigh, reaching for the paper, "I'll read it for you."

Soarynn braces herself for the worst, for the lecture that's bound to come with this lesson. "Let's see, the water bill, the electric bill, bills from the veterinarian, bills from the doctor, bills from your hair salon, and oh, look at this one, an enormous bill from one of your favorite little department stores."

Soarynn gazes up at the ceiling, noting how their apartment is filled with intricate design choices including the carvings in the ceiling. Vines with roses look down on her, as if the entire Snow lineage is bearing witness to her ridicule.

"Soarynn."

She looks back across at him, "Yes?"

"Do you know how much you spent on the fourteenth?"

Soarynn bruhses her hair behind her ears, she really hadn't meant to go overboard, she never goes overboard! "I don't recall," she mumbles.

Coriolanus grunts, pulling open one of his desk drawers, pulling out that stupid little book where he writes down all their expenses. "Well, let me refresh your memory because I did some digging and made a few calls to you know, make sure someone hadn't stolen your banking card and gone on a shopping spree. And it looks like you spent six thousand over the budget. On clothes."

Oops.

"I thought it was five thousand," is all she has to say. He does not look impressed, "There's tax darling, there's always tax. And I know, I know that you probably never look at the price tags but I beg of you, start looking before you start swiping."

Soarynn truly hadn't meant to go this overboard, she's usually so good at staying within her shopping budget. Has she gotten very close to going over it? Yes, but no one's perfect!

"There was a sale!" She blurts out, leaning forward in her seat and he leans back in his, "There was a sale, and there were these shoes, so you know, I had to find an outfit to go with them," she contuines.

Coriolanus nods, "Of course you did darling."

"And then I saw this bag, oh the bag, I don't think I’ve showed it to you yet but you'll love it. Anyways, the bag was also on sale so I had to get it, then came the jewerly, and the sales woman was so helpful."

"The sales women robbed us," he states plainly, shaking his head, "the moment you walked into that store I'm sure her eyes lit up and she started picturing what she'd buy with the commission she was going to make off of you."

Soarynn twirls her hair around her finger, she can't help it if she shops at high-end stores that have exceptional service. He'd have a fit if he found out that his wife wasn't being properly taken care of.

"I didn't do it on purpose, you know I'd never spend your money so flippantly."

Coriolanus tosses that stupid book on his desk, Soarynn wishes it would catch on fire. "I know you wouldn't darling, and I also know that you'd never keep this from me or avoid telling me about it before I had to find out through the monthly bank statement."

These pesky bank statements will have to go.

"So, as a precautuion, I'm going to put a limit on your card, once you reach it, no more swiping."

Soarynn almost falls out of her chair.

"WHAT!?"

His face morphs from a calm look to a concerned look, "What, what do you mean a limit!? What if there's an emergency!? What if I get lost or need to buy something to keep me safe!?"

"New shoes don't count as an emergency," he points out, resting his forearms on the desk, "nor do handbags, or dresses, or even lingerie." She didn't think he'd go there but he did.

"But you love my lingerie," she mumbles, deciding that pouting might be the best route of action. Coriolanus softly chuckles, nodding his head, "I do love your lingerie darling," he agrees, "but the good thing about lingerie is that you can wear it more than once."

"Not when your husband rips it down the middle because he can't figure out the clasps," she fires back, earning her a sharp look. Soarynn slumps in her chair, she's lost this battle and her unlimited spending. All hope is lost.

"It's not like I'm cutting your spending budget in half," he points out, "it's still the same, the only difference is that once you reach it, you can't go over it. And if you need to buy something else, something that's actually important then all you have to do is ask."

Soarynn would rather die but she won’t say that.

A life with a limit, a budget is such a foreign concept to her. From the moment she met Coriolanus he's always given her everything she's wanted. If anything, this is his fault. He's spoiled her and now it's gone rotten.

"I thought we were rich."

Coriolanus rolls his eyes, it's pointless to bicker but he's always been good at humoring her. "We are rich, and I'd like to keep it that way, which means limits and budgets. Every family does this darling, every husband sits his wife down and tells her to slow down on the spending. Now I understand that this is partly my own doing, letting you spend to your hearts desire but you need to reel it back in."

Maybe she can go to the bank and talk to someone about lifting this limit. She is after all, Soarynn Snow and as Coriolanus Snow's wife, she's practically a celebrity.

From the moment he slipped that ring on her finger, doors literally opened for her. Everywhere she goes she's given the best service, champagne while shopping, someone to carry her bags to the car, complimentary caviar.

What did he expect?

Soarynn Snow doesn't do budgets.

"I could pawn my wedding ring," she tries getting her a snort. "Good luck with that," he tells her, "we both know that you'll spend what you make off of it before the sun sets."

Coriolanus is so fucking annoying when he's right.

Soarynn pushes herself to stand, now that the cats out of the bag so to speak, there's no reason for her to entertain him anymore. Unless he's willing to pay for the entertainment.

"You could always get a job," he offers which earns him a lethal glare from his wife. "I'd rather hang myself," she hisses, stomping out of his study with a worse mood than she came in here with.

"Thank you darling! I'm so glad we had this talk!"

Coriolanus Snow is going to be very sorry about this.

꧁ ꧂

The next three days are filled with nasty glares and short conversations.

Everything he says to her she answers with either: "Yes" or "No" which is saying a lot for a woman who normally likes to say a lot.

By the fourth day, Soarynn is summoned back to his study and this time, he looks pissed off. Good, she thinks, he deserves to feel bad about what he's done to her.

"You've been ingoring me, which is extremely childish and unattractive," he says matter-of-factly. Soarynn shrugs, two can play the game of pettiness, after all, it takes one to know one and it takes two to tango.

"Soarynn, you act like I cut your banking card into a million pieces."

She folds her arms across her chest, her feelings will not be diminished, and neither will her pink banking card. "You might as well have," she snaps, "no point in using it now."

"Ignoring me will not solve your problem."

Soarynn grins, she's well aware thay giving him the cold shoulder won't help her cause, but she's not even trying to get this limit lifted, no, she's in it for the fun of the game.

"I know," she says sweetly, "but it does make you angry, which is priceless."

The veins in his throat bulge and his nostrils flare. Coriolanus, although he would never admit it, has a very short temper and after almost ten years of being together, Soarynn knows exactly how to light it.

He needs physcial touch, craves it from her so whenever she witholds it from him, he damn near loses his mind.

"You do realize that you are the one in the wrong, correct? You went over our budget, our shared budget. Do you know how hard it is to go over that?"

Soarynn tilts her head because she hadn't even thought of it like that. He made it seem like it was all her fault, but once again, it takes two to tango.

"Let me see the bank statement again," she requests, ignoring how surprised he looks. Soarynn usually avoids that piece of paper at all costs since it tells him exactly how much she costs but now she's curious. He always brings up her spending but never mentions his.

And Coriolanus Snow has very expensive taste.

He rummages through his drawer and brandishes the sheet of paper, handing it over to her and Soarynn scans over all the numbers printed over the page. It's entirely overwhelming, so thank goodness Coriolanus handles their finances because she would never do this willingly.

But he's always been obsessed with money, always wanting more of it. He thrives on stuff like this.

At the top are the largest charges, the utility bills, the rent. Boring, boring, boring.

Then she sees where she went on her little shopping spree, money well spent in her opinion and right under that charge, is another one, for a men's department store.

Soarynn's eyes light up at the sight of it.

Looks like Coriolanus did a little shopping on his lunch break.

"Oh, oh I think you neglected to mention that you also went on a little shopping trip," she says, scanning over more charges, "in fact, you've gone on a lot of little trips. Trips to the bars, to resturaunts, goodness Coryo, you sure are expensive. Why don't you ever read your charges out loud when we go over the monthly expenses?"

When she looks up form the paper she's met with a most enticing sight. Coriolanus squirming in his seat, looking very uncomfortable at the moment. "Well, well I know where I've been, what I've spent, I keep tabs on myself," he gets out, scratching the back of his neck, "I don't want to bore you with the details."

"Well I find this information to be very intersting," she informs him, "it looks like we both have expensive taste!”

He pulls at the collar of his shirt, all these years he's droned on and on about the importance of spending money wisley and here he is, spending money unwisely.

"Why don't I lift that limit on your card?" He asks, offering her a smile, "I mean, I acted a bit rashly, don't you think?"

Ah, sweet, sweet victory.

Soarynn sets the paper back on his desk, it's served it's purpose.

"Yes, and I expect an apology, from the heart. Since you've wounded mine."

She's milking it at this point but it's not every day that Coriolanus Snow eats his own words and gets a taste of his own medicine. Coriolanus is a proud man, never backing down from a fight, unless it's with his wife. He's tried to argue with her in the past and it's never ended well for him.

"Come sit in my lap," he says first, reaching out to her. Soarynn smirks, he's desperate for physical affection after these three days of getting the silent treatment. He likes to act all big and bad until he needs cuddles at night before bedtime.

So she humors him, gracefully rising from her seat so she can sit in his lap. It's cute how quickly he grabs her by the waist, instantly pulling her down onto his lap, gronaing at the feeling of her on top of him again.

"Your heartfelt apology," she reminds him, resting a hand on his cheek. Coriolanus swallows, he looks good when he's on thin ice with her, wide-eyed and nervous. No wonder he likes the same look when it's on her.

"Right," his voice is scratchy, "darling, my darling girl, the love of my life. I am so, so sorry that I withheld this informaton from you and put a limit on your spending. You've always been so good about spending and the one time you weren't, I overreacted."

Soarynn nods, doing her best not to look entirely smug about this fantastic victory. She got him to apologize and lift her budget.

Stranger things have happened but still.

“I accept your apology,” she tells him with a haughty tone, “although I don’t appreciate you hiding your own spending habits from me. For now on, you’ll read aloud all of the charges, not just mine.”

Perhaps this will cause a shift in his excitement for going over their bank statement. It’s very inconvenient, no one wants to learn about how much money they’ve spent in a month but this will hopefully reel Coriolanus back in.

He replies without hesitation, eager to put this little mishap behind them and preferably, her under him to make up for lost time, “I agree entirely, it’s a two person job from now on.”

Soarynn smiles now that all is well and more importantly, her spending limit has been lifted. Truly, the past few days have been torturous for her, every swipe of her card has been chipping away at her soul.

Soarynn can’t help it if she likes nice, shiny, expensive things.

“I just can’t believe you didn’t think I’d catch on to your spending,” she teases with a giggle when his cheeks turn pink, “I mean honestly Coryo, it was bound to catch up to you eventually.”

Coriolanus shrugs, probably glad to be rid of his little secret. It’s a little embarrassing how long it took for her to notice his lapse of mentioning his purchases but never late than never she supposed.

“What you didn’t know didn’t hurt you darling,” he points out, kissing her cheek. Soarynn closes her eyes at the sensation of his lips on her, while her spending has been limited, so have their moment together and it’s nice to be back to normal again.

“You’re so sneaky, you really do need to always have full control don’t you?” She asks in an amused tone. Coriolanus has always craved control since the day she met him, always needing to dictate every situation which includes their budget.

Coriolanus doesn’t even look ashamed, in fact, he looks proud and picks up the folded bank statement so they can both read all the charges and he grins at her.

“Guilty as charged.”

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

| taglist: @lovelylove268 @strawberriicakes @kickmybark @wonderlandbound111 @matcha-muses @melodyoflovee @thevoicesinmyprettylittlehead @erensrealgf @cervvsq @snowgirl12 |

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

if i were a companion i'd just roll with it. stop wondering if theres a plan bc there isnt. and if i am gonna die then that plan isnt like, the deciding factor in whether i would have probably. just have fun. im not here to question things im here to have a good time. complete trust in the doctor. exercise in mindfulness. just roll with it

[ckret2]

Chapter 54 of everybody being really eager to kill their prisoner human Bill Cipher for good: the gang's trying a new way to create fuel for the one weapon guaranteed to destroy Bill.

It goes so great.

As Ford drove to Northwest Manor, Dipper skimmed through the introduction to Flatworld, where Edward Bishop Bishop was pretending that his book had been dictated to him by a sentient square; but he couldn't focus on it. He sighed, shut the book, and stared out the passenger window at the passing trees.

"Something on your mind?" Ford asked.

"I'm thinking about the Axolotl's poem again. The one about Bill."

"Ah. Still trying to remember the rest?"

"Kinda. Mabel and I are working on it together," Dipper said. "But it's not that. I've just been wondering... what if the poem is... you know, part of a prophecy about Bill or something? Mabel remembered another line of the poem—'A different form, a different time.' What if the Axolotl was telling us why Bill's back as a human? Maybe we need him here—to, to use his powers to fight off a bigger threat or something. Do you think that's possible?" He held back another question: what happens if we kill him before then?

Ford frowned thoughtfully. "I've been thinking about the Axolotl as well," he said. "About the worlds I visited that called it a god of criminals, tyrants, and luck. That sounds to me like the exact kind of being that would be Bill's ally. And it's odd how resistant Bill was to telling us anything about the Axolotl, when it simply passed over town for a few seconds and then moved on. Why the secrecy? How does Bill think it benefits him for us not to know about it?" Ford shook his head. "I think you're on to something, Dipper—I think whatever the Axolotl told you is important. The question is: important for whom?"

Dipper's stomach turned. The Axolotl had radiated such kindness; it was hard for Dipper to believe it could be up to anything evil with Bill. But then—Dipper clutched at Flatworld with the damning biography on the back—but then, how many people had Bill himself fooled with the benevolent teacher act?

Dipper understood now why "Don't Trust Bill" had so quickly turned into "Trust No One." Even when you knew that there was only one real enemy—even when you knew that most people out there were still reasonably honest and friendly—you could never tell just how far Bill's shadow stretched. "I guess that's true. We can't really know."

"We can't know yet. But it is worth trying to figure out," Ford said. "I wish I could tell you where to start looking for answers. For now... we'll just have to consider anything possible."

Ford was right. But all the same, every time Dipper paranoidly asked himself What if Grunkle Ford is right, what if the Axolotl really is on Bill's side, a second, even more paranoid, even more worried voice asked, But what if he isn't?

####

When they arrived, Fiddleford was already in his lab, hard at work on the miniature particle accelerator they'd come to see him about.

"The paradox what was powering it started yowling" Fiddleford said. "So obviously it ain't a paradox no more."

Ford grimaced. "That does lay to rest whether the cat is alive or dead."

"Sure does," Fiddleford said, sighing. "So I let the cat outside and I'm rebuilding the whole contraption to run on a more robust paradox. I hope you've got better news for me, Stanford."

"We hope so too. I think Dipper might have the solution to our fuel generation problem."

They briefly explained Dipper's unfortunate puppet incident last summer—Fiddleford had to take a break in the middle to grab a cup of coffee, "To steady my nerves,"—its ongoing effects on his sleep, and the new developments of the last few days, culminating in Dipper learning how to project his soul out of his body—

—which, Ford now realized, he probably should have expected Fiddleford to take poorly.

"Sweet sasparilla!" Fiddleford kicked over his chair while jumping onto the nearest table. "You're dead?!"

"What?" Dipper said. "No, I—"

"You're like a ghost possessing a zombie!"

Dipper thought that over. "Whoa..."

But, even though Fiddleford thought the whole affair went against the rightful order of the world, he agreed that it was a sound idea and worth trying. "It's lucky that my tater tot and I hunted out all the ghosts in this place during our spring cleaning," he said, opening a cabinet. He retrieved what looked like a pair of vacuums redesigned to be worn like backpacks with an assortment of random electronics dangling from wires. He held up a set of goggles and headphones hanging off one of the vacuums. "I invented these doohickeys that'll let you see and hear ghosts! They'll let us keep in contact with Dipper while he's out of his body." He set the vacuums on a table near the miniature particle accelerator and said, "First, though—Stanford, I need you to help me rebuild this machine."

"Of course." Ford turned away from the vacuum he'd been inspecting to look at the miniature particle accelerator.

Dipper said, "Wait, there are other ghosts in this mansion?"

"Yep!"

"I hunted one at the Northwests' big party last year," Dipper said. "How many more ghosts are in here?"

"We've caught, oh... thirty or forty so far."

"Seriously? That's amazing." Dipper was already thinking about the amazing Ghost Harassers episode this place could have been. Maybe even a miniseries.

"Aw, it weren't that hard. If you leave the TV on, they like to flock around it to watch. All you've gotta do is hide in the corner until a whole big bunch of 'em are gathered 'round—and then ya get them!"

"Oh," Dipper said. "Huh. I just tricked one into getting trapped in a silver mirror."

"Well, that's right impressive too. I never woulda thunk of that," Fiddleford said. "Me and Tate have been sucking them into cooling pouches in these here vacuums and then sticking the pouches in a chest freezer down in the dungeon! Maybe I oughta line the freezer with silver."

"This place has a dungeon?" Dipper asked.

Before Fiddleford could respond, Ford asked, "Which parts are we replacing?" He was inspecting the miniature particle accelerator.

"All of them!"

Ford gave Fiddleford a surprised look. "All of them?"

"Yep! Every last one!"

"Is the design changing that much?"

"Nope! It's staying exactly the same!"

"Then... why can't we just use the same machine we already have?"

"We will be using the same machine!" Fiddleford smiled mischievously. "Or will we?"

"Ah! I see! The particle accelerator of Theseus," Ford said. "Very clever."

"And kinder on the local stray cats, I reckon."

Dipper offered his assistance, but the work involved too much welding and buzzsawing for him to try untrained, so he was directed to sit a safe distance away with the first aid kit. At least it gave him a chance to read some more. He had to shove aside a couple flashlights and the glue grenade to reach where the slim book had slid to the bottom of his backpack during their walk from the car.

He skimmed over some of the worldbuilding looking for the story before he realized the story was the wordbuilding and looped back. It was a lot bleaker than he expected, even after Mabel's warning. Rigid class system, oppressive government, all kinds of horrifying shape prejudices... Frustrating dream visits to the ignorant line people in the first dimension who didn't believe in the second dimension, and to the self-absorbed King Zero in the point-sized zeroth dimension who thought a whole universe was contained inside him... A just as frustrating visit from a sphere who simply couldn't explain the third dimension in a way the square protagonist could understand, which was even more annoying since the square had just seen how the first dimension couldn't comprehend the second for the same reasons, so why couldn't he accept the possibility of a third dimension he couldn't imagine? Dipper got that it was supposed to be a metaphor to help three-dimensional readers understand that not being able to visualize a fourth dimension didn't mean it was impossible; but still. Come on, man. Don't be stupid.

On the other hand, at least now Dipper had a framework to understand the concept of higher dimensions and probably a leg up on next year's geometry. Would high school geometry cover four-dimensional space?

After a couple of hours of work and a break for lunch, the miniature particle accelerator was rebuilt and ready for another attempt to generate fuel. Fiddleford pulled on one of his ghost vacuums like a backpack, put on the set of connected headphones and goggles, and settled his glasses on over the goggles. "Y'all ready?"

"Ready," Ford said. He was seated at the accelerator's monitors, holding the jug that would contain any NowUSeeitNowUDontium they generated, and wearing the other vacuum—with the goggles over his glasses, and he was a bit worried about how Fiddleford had positioned his.

"Ready," Dipper said, a tad less certainly. What if he couldn't do it today? What if he'd never actually been able to do it last night and the whole thing really had been a dream?

But Fiddleford flipped the accelerator's power on, stepped back, and said, "All right! Do your thing!"

"Okay." Dipper stared straight at the machine, and—eugh—thought about degloving his body from his soul, peeling out of his skin fingers first.

This was only the second time he'd left his body deliberately. He'd observed in the past that the mindscape was strangely gray and still compared to the real world—but he'd never realized just how stark and swift the change was, like all the color and warmth had been abruptly sucked from reality. He shivered.

Ford inhaled sharply. Fiddleford stumbled back against the nearest table and yelped, "Flipping flapjacks!"

"You can both still see me?" Dipper said. "Can you hear me, too?"

"Loud and clear," Ford said.

"Like the voices of the dead." Fiddleford shuddered. "Welp, let's get this over with. I don't like all this ghost business. It ain't natural."

Ford gave him an amused look. "Since when have you ever been concerned about what's 'natural'? Didn't the engineering club vote you 'most likely to build a robot that flies in the face of God'?"

"You hush! There's nothing unnatural about iron, electromagnetism, and flamethrowers."

Dipper studied his body's face, its eyes pointed blankly toward the particle accelerator. "Well, I'm looking at the experiment, but I'm definitely not thinking about it. I think that's half of the paradox?"

"That's right," Fiddleford said. "Now, you just—float yerself on over to the other side of the accelerator, and think about it without looking at it."

"Right." Dipper positioned himself directly across the accelerator from his body, shut his eyes, and tried to think experimental thoughts. He didn't know much about Dontium besides what Ford had written about it in Journal 3—that it was inert when you were looking at it and radioactive when you weren't—so, if the miniature particle accelerator generated any, would he get blasted with radiation? Or was his body staring at the accelerator enough to keep it inert? But no—it was supposed to fill up the jug Ford was holding, right? Ford was observing it. Dipper tried to imagine what must be happening inside the accelerator; how did it work, would particles spontaneously generate in the tubes? Maybe they circled around until they fell into the hose to the jug...

He heard Ford gasp. "Fiddleford, look at this— Don't listen to me Dipper, just keep—keep thinking whatever you were thinking!"

"Is it working?"

"It was! Don't let us distract you."

Dipper tried to ignore the sound of Fiddleford running over to Ford, and started humming to drown out their hushed conversation. That was good, right? It meant the experiment was working. Keep thinking about that—experiment. Experiment. Expeeeriment. ... He wondered if trying to do the experiment by putting himself and Tyrone on either side of the accelerator would have worked, or if it had to be Dipper's soul and his body—

"Hot diggety!" Fiddleford shouted. "We've reached critical mass!"

"What does that mean, is it bad?" Dipper opened one eye a crack, trying to squint enough that he couldn't see the particle accelerator. "Is it gonna explode?"

Ford explained, "It means we've generated enough Dontium that it can sustain its own existence. Now, even if you get distracted, what we've already generated will remain. It can only go up from here."

"Wow," Dipper said. "That only took, what, a couple of minutes?"

"Less than that! During our last attempt, we tried for hours without reaching critical mass," Ford said. "Your idea was right on the money. Excellent work, Dipper."

Dipper grinned. After all that anxiety, it was almost a letdown how easy it was, but the coolness factor made up for it. He could just imagine the conversations the first week of high school: What did I do over summer break? Oh, nothing much. Just synthesized a new element. To fuel a weapon custom-designed to kill an immortal chaos god. And did I mention I was a ghost at the time? It didn't quite top last summer's adventures, but...

Then something went wrong.

There was a noise halfway between the electric buzz of a tesla coil and the rip of Velcro being torn apart. A stench like burning hair filled the air. A line of shifting colorful light began worming its way out of the center of the particle accelerator and up into the air.

"Oh no. Ohhh no!" Fiddleford grabbed his head. "The micro-rips! The threadbare fabric of reality! Our experiment put too much of a strain on it! We tore straight through!" One foot bounced agitatedly, "Ohhh, I knew I shoulda run some calculations before substituting in Dipper for you and Stanley."

Dipper gasped as the line of light began to agonizingly stretch open wider. Reality began seeping over its edges and dripping through into the kaleidoscopic miasma beyond. It developed a second horizontal rip across its middle as reality stretched beyond endurance in multiple directions. "What—is that?" He was afraid he knew.

"A dimensional rift," Fiddleford said.

"The Nightmare Realm," said Ford.

The last frayed thread holding reality together snapped apart, and the rift tore open wide, fully exposing the Earth to the roaring roiling chaos beyond. 

They screamed.

"Hello?" A giant set of dentures with stubby arms and legs leaned through the rift. "Oh hey! Aren't you the guys that killed Bill?"

They screamed again.

"Is screaming how humans say hi?" the monster asked. "I'm Teeth. Aaah!" He turned toward Ford. "Hey! Fingers! Lookin' less electrocuted than the last time I saw you—"

Ford socked Teeth in the incisor, knocking him back through the rift. "Back, you! You and your 'friends' are not welcome in this dimension!"

"Ow. What the heck, man."

Fiddleford shouted, "Don't stop observing the Dontium!" He bounded across the room on all four to scoop up the milk jug and stare at it. 

Ford nearly toppled through the rift, and had to grab onto the miniature particle accelerator as the heaviest nearby object to anchor himself. The rift sucked on reality like a vacuum, and the longer it was open the more powerful it grew.

Over the roar of the rift, Dipper yelled "What do we do?!"

"We have to seal it! Before it sucks all of Gravity Falls into the Nightmare Realm!"

"How?!"

Last summer, the instant Bill had no longer been around to maintain the dimensional rift, it had also sucked reality into it, starting with everything that properly belonged in the Nightmare Realm; but then it had also quickly sealed itself back shut. On the other hand, this rift was just opening wider and wider. Maybe it wasn't like the rift Bill had used to enter Gravity Falls, then? Maybe it was structured more like the wormholes that had been left behind after Weirdmageddon—

"I've got it!" Ford picked up Dipper's body—trying not to shudder at how lifeless it felt—and unzipped his backpack. "Is the alien adhesive grenade still in here?"

"It should be! Let me see." Dipper floated over to peer into his backpack.

The rift was already strong enough to drag at Ford's clothing. The lightest objects in the room lifted into the air and were sucked through. Papers. Pencils. Coffee mugs. Dipper's soul.

He screamed. "GRUNKLE FORD!"

"Dipper!" Ford grabbed for Dipper's ankle, but his hand passed right through. Ford's blood ran cold as Dipper tumbled head over heels into the Nightmare Realm.

"Look at that," Teeth said, watching Dipper soar by. "Dinner delivery."

There was no difference between the mindscape and reality in the Nightmare Realm, if Ford followed Dipper  through he'd be able to get a grip on Dipper there. But how would he carry Dipper back to Earth without him melting through Ford's grasp the moment they were through the rift? Didn't matter, grab Dipper first, then figure it out—

Fiddleford shoved the jug of Dontium in Ford's hands as he ran past. "Watch over this!"

"What—!"

Fiddleford jumped into the Nightmare Realm, the end of a long extension cord tied around his waist. He stretched out the hose of his ghost vacuum and flipped a switch, and with a yelp Dipper's soul was sucked inside. Ford gasped in relief.

Trying to keep as much of his attention on the potentially-radioactive jug as possible, Ford reeled Fiddleford back in, shoved the jug in his hands, and dug into Dipper's backpack again until he found the alien adhesive grenade. He pulled the pin and chucked it through the rift. "Duck!"

He shielded Dipper's body and Fiddleford shielded the Dontium jug as the grenade exploded. Even so, the force of it blew aside everything within ten feet of the rift and sent both of them sprawling. When Ford glanced back over his shoulder, the adhesive had gummed up the opening of the rift like a popped glowing magenta bubblegum bubble; and as he watched, it sucked the opening shut. In a few seconds the air was still and quiet, and the only sign the rift had ever existed was an immense, jagged vertical line in the air around which the light refracted wrong.

Fiddleford gingerly got back to his knees, then pulled off his glasses and pushed up his goggles. One of the lenses had been crushed, and the glasses' frame was bent beyond repair.

Ford heaved a long, heavy sigh. "A bit too familiar, wasn't it?"

Fiddleford blinked at him. "Wasn't what?"

"The—reeling you in from the Nightmare Realm?" Ford said. At Fiddleford's blank look, Ford said, "The portal test?"

"Oh." Fiddleford scratched his head. "I... still don't remember it too clearly."

"Ah. Yes. Of course." Ford's stomach churned with guilt as he looked away from Fiddleford. Over thirty years late was too late to apologize, wasn't it? (Over the past year he'd wondered, again and again; and again and again he'd decided that it was.) "Thank you for saving—" He gasped, "Dipper!"

"Oh, right!" Fiddleford took off his vacuum, dropped it on the floor, and unzipped its bag. The ghosts of a Northwest in a buckskin coat and a confused-looking hippie escaped into the air. "Hey," Fiddleford barked. "You get back here!" He raised the vacuum's hose and flipped its switch. He caught the hippie, but as soon as she was sucked in she flew out the unzipped bag and off to freedom again. Fiddleford lowered the hose and shook a fist at the retreating spirits. "I'll get you ectoplasmic varmints, just you wait!"

Ford knelt on the floor and held the bag open wider. Dipper floated out, arms crossed tight and shivering. "So... so cold... and dark... and really, really dusty."

"Let's get you back where you belong."

Ford held up Dipper's body as he lay back down in it. He could see the moment color flooded back into Dipper's cheeks and his eyes focused again. Dipper groaned.

Ford said, "You're never doing that again."

"I am never doing that again," Dipper said.

"We can't do that again," Fiddleford said. "The fabric of reality in this town is too unstable to handle another paradoxical physics experiment that powerful! We'd rip open another rift to the Nightmare Realm!"

"And we just tossed away all of our remaining alien adhesive," Ford sighed. It left Gravity Falls vulnerable if any more rips formed. Sometime soon he'd have to go back to the alien crash site and see if there was any more adhesive he could scrounge up; but even if he did, they couldn't risk wasting more of it like this.

"But did we get what we needed?" Dipper asked.

Fiddleford held up the milk jug of Dontium and shook it. It had a strange shifting color, wavering between cyan and orange depending on the lighting. "Looks like we got about three-fourths of a gallon," Fiddleford said.

"It's only enough to fully power one shot," Ford said. "But... one shot is all it'll take to destroy Bill." His stomach flipped nervously as he said it. He'd been anxious every other time he'd prepared to kill Bill, but that had always been because he'd been preparing to battle for the fate of the universe with a godlike monster who could easily kill him or worse. For the first time, he was preparing to execute a defenseless prisoner, and he didn't know whether it would make the universe any safer.

For half the summer he'd hoped Bill was harmless. Now he wished he had proof that Bill wasn't, so that he could lay his conscience to rest.

Dipper looked as uncomfortable as Ford felt; but when he caught Ford's gaze, he hardened his expression and nodded. Ford nodded back.

"WOOHOO!" Fiddleford leaped his full height straight up, making Ford and Dipper start. "We done it! YAHOO!" He waved his hat around ecstatically, doing a little jig in place. "YIPPEE! HIP HIP HURRrr—hey, how come you fellers ain't celebrating?"

Ford didn't know how to explain without making Fiddleford worry he was at risk of falling under Bill's spell again. "We'll celebrate when he's dead."

####

"Who was at the door?" 8 Ball shouted. When he didn't get a response, he paused his game. "Teeth?"

Teeth waddled into the game room. His face was completely plastered shut with some kind of glowing purple glue.

Pyronica cracked up and Paci-Fire chuckled darkly. 8 Ball sighed, "What'd you get into, you idiot?"

Teeth waved his hands emphatically.

"All right, okay." 8 Ball stood and stretched. "Does anyone have the number of that lamp guy Bill used to hook up with?"

Half an hour later, having lured over Lava Lamp Guy with the false promise of ping pong pool and illicit liquids, they cornered him in a bathroom, with Zanthar sitting in the tub restraining him while Paci-Fire struggled to hold his face still.

"Please!" Lava Lamp Guy screamed. "Let me go! I'll do anything you want! My neurologist said I can't take much more of this!"

"Cease your complaints," Paci-Fire said, as 8 Ball took off Lava Lamp Guy's bowler. "You shall not dissuade us. We do this because we have no choice in the matter."

"Why not?!"

"Because none of us feel like making the trip to a dimension with a drugstore."

8 Ball stuck a soup ladle into the open top of Lava Lamp Guy's head and fished around until he got a scoop of the red goo floating around in the thinner orange liquid. Lava Lamp Guy howled in agony. Zanthar heaved a weary sigh.

8 Ball carried the ladle over to where Teeth was sitting on the toilet lid kicking his feet. "Here you go, bud."

Teeth clapped his hands, grabbed an oversized toothbrush, and held it out for 8 Ball to pour the goop on. He scrubbed his teeth until the goop dissolved the adhesive. "Whew!" He stretched his jaw a few times, then jumped to his feet. "Thanks! I was worried I was gonna miss karaoke night." He looked in the sink mirror to scrub off the remaining scraps of adhesive.

8 Ball put Lava Lamp Guy's hat back on. Lava Lamp Guy groaned, "I think I forgot my third husband."

"You've only been married twice," Hectorgon lied.

"Oh." Confused, Lava Lamp Guy said, "Alright."

Teeth muttered, "Blech, divorce memories." He grabbed a bottle of mouthwash to clear out the taste.

"So what happened?" Kryptos asked. He was hovering in the doorway beside Pyronica.

"I'unno. I think the Dimension 46ers were messing around with their portal or something? They opened up a portal here."

"What? Uh-uh," Pyronica said. "It had to be some other dimension. We just invaded them, why would they open the portal again?"

"No no, that sounds like humans to me," Kryptos said. "If one of them pushes a button and immediately dies, the guy standing next to him will go, 'I wonder if it does that every time.' I've seen them do it."

"It was definitely them, I saw that local contractor Bill recruited for the portal who went nuts. Fingers or whoever."

8 Ball groaned. "You mean the guy that invaded the Quadrangle and tried to kill everybody?"

"Yeah. That guy. He told me I wasn't welcome on Earth and chucked a glue bomb in my face. I was like, well alright, buddy, I'm not the one who opened up a portal in your house, you could have just stayed home instead of ruining my day," Teeth said. "I didn't really say that to him. I thought it."

"So now the humans are invading us." Pyronica threw her hands in the air. "Great! This is just terrific! Bill teaches them how to make their own portals, they follow us home, and now we're about to have a pest problem that knows how to use tools! How long is it until this whole place is crawling with humans?! I'm going househunting, how many rooms should I look for? 8 Ball?"

"I'm in."

"Teeth?"

Teeth sighed, but said, "Yeah. The neighborhood's going downhill. Especially if we're gonna have a pest problem."

"Big Z?"

Zanthar gave a thumbs up.

Pyronica looked at Paci-Fire. He averted his gaze. Pyronica said, "Paci?"

Sullenly, he said, "We should ask Keyhole's opinion as well."

She laughed in disbelief. Nobody cared about Keyhole's opinion, he went with whatever everyone else went with. Appealing to Keyhole was just a delaying tactic. "Fine, sure. We'll get Keyhole's opinion."

"I'm not going," Hectorgon said, crossing his arms.

Relieved, Kryptos said, "Yeah. Me neither."

"You don't have to," Pyronica snapped. "You two and Morph can wait for Bill to come back from the dead as long as you want. But the rest of us are leaving."

Kryptos tilted toward the hall, gesturing for Hectorgon to follow him away from the others. "How long do you think we can hold this place without the outerplanars?" The Quadrangle was all that remained of Bill's turf. Without Bill's energy boosting them, none of the shapes were particularly powerful. They'd always depended upon the other Henchmaniacs to guard Bill's stronghold, the heavy-hitters like Zanthar and Pyronica. Even Bill preferred to let them fight his battles when he could; Bill's energy was much vaster, but less renewable.

Hectorgon grimaced uncertainly. "We've gotta think of something fast."

####

Dipper stared at the jug in his lap, ensuring it didn't turn radioactive before they got home. Bill practically seemed to have a radar for Ford—and on top of that, could see through walls—but as far as he cared Dipper may as well have not even existed; so they'd decided that Ford would go in the main door to ensure Bill's attention was turned away while Dipper went through the gift shop and took the elevator down to Ford's study. Ford had told Dipper where to find a lead locker that would keep the Dontium contained until Ford could use it to refuel the Quantum Destabilizer; all he had to do was put it in and stare through the crack until he'd slammed the door shut.

And once they'd decided on that, the drive home had fallen deathly silent.

As the Mystery Shack appeared through the trees, Dipper asked, "We're doing the right thing, right?" His voice was quiet. "I hate him, but—we owe him our lives. And there's that prophecy..."

"Lives can't be owed," Ford said. "Yesterday he may have saved us, but tomorrow he would still destroy our world in a heartbeat. We can be grateful to be alive—but we can't let that stop us."

"So, we're doing the right thing?"

Ford was silent for much longer than Dipper would have liked. "I hope so."

####

(We're moving toward some important stuff!! Hope y'all enjoyed and I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this week's chapter!)

[ladykailitha]

A Love Connection Part 1

In a very special engagement (as in a don't normally post 5 days a week), I introduce "A Love Connection"!

If the premise looks familiar the original idea is from here, where a couple of people in the notes or tags said they'd love to try it. And after a year, I figured I'd try my own hand at the idea.

This will update on Tuesdays at 10am and 10pm EST. With hopefully eight chapters.

Summary: Steve has tried everything under the sun to find someone to truly connect with, so he gives up after a particularly horrible date. Then Chrissy introduces him to her favorite game show "Love Connection". When Chrissy and Robin apply for him, they don't think they'll except him, but he does. His suitors are Billy Hargrove, Tommy Hagan, and Eddie Munson. Will Steve crash and burn again or will his connection be there waiting for him?

~

Look, to say Steve’s love life was a disaster would be unfair. That would be underselling it. It was a fucking catastrophe. He had gone to bars, joined hobby groups, used all the apps, even Grindr; though that was mostly for hookups, which sucked. But that was the nature of the beast if he was honest.

And the beast had completely devoured him. All his dates were either only interested the casual, cheated on him, or wanted one-night stands. Which Steve absolutely did not want. He wanted connection. Intimacy.

“I absolutely give up,” he whined to Robin, after the last date tried to slip out in the middle of the night, knocked over their lamp into their goldfish bowl, killing the goldfish, then he tried to hide the evidence by dumping it down the garbage disposal and turning it on! Lied about it, then stole their last beer as “compensation for his trauma’ and told Steve to never call him again.

“Look, Ryan wasn’t the best guy,” Robin replied with a grimace. “He liked Oasis and Tool unironically. Always a red flag.”

Steve snorted. Robin was a music snob most days, but she wasn’t wrong about that. Ryan and he had been dancing around and with each other for weeks before they finally got so hot and heavy that they went back to Steve’s for sex.

“It’s not fair,” he huffed. “You went to that bar and you a hottie girlfriend and I went to that bar and fucked a fish killer! I loved Garfield! He lived for five years before that bastard mercilessly murdered him. That’s long than my last ten relationships combined!”

Robin winced. “Ooh... I’m going to have to call Chrissy and let her know we can’t go back to that gay bar again.”

“Oh he’s so dead now!” Steve ranted. “Not only is he fish killer, he has driven us from our favorite bar!”

“Let me order us some take out,” Robin said standing up, “then I’ll call Chrissy over and we’ll all cry over Ciarán Hinds and Amanda Root falling in love.”

Steve sniffed away a couple of tears and nodded. “Then can we have a funeral for Garfield?”

Robin tilted her head and smiled sadly. “Of course we can. It’s a Sunday so none of us have work. We can watch as many weepy romance movies as you want, okay?”

“Okay,” Steve croaked. She gave him a big hug and kissed his cheek. He watched her wander into the kitchen to see what leftovers they had in the fridge so they could order from somewhere else. He loved her so much.

~

Sometime in the afternoon when they were more than a little tipsy, Chrissy commandeered the remote and turned on her favorite game show.

“Love Connection”

“Noooo...” Steve whined, burying his head into a throw pillow. It was Garfield shaped. It was what inspired the naming of the valiant fish. “This is the last thing I want to see. It’s so fake. No one gets together on these things. It’s so cheesy.”

“Exactly!” Chrissy crowed. “That’s why it’s perfect, we get to make fun of them!”

Steve thought that the only good part of the show was the second half. The first half was split into three different rounds. The first round was each suitor answer the one question, for a total of fifteen and then the catch would rank them, best got three points, second two, and third only one.

Then in the second round there were a set of rapid fire either or questions that the catch would yell out and the suitors would write down their answers. If their answer matched the catch’s they would get a tally. Whoever had the most tallies would win five points. Then three points to second place and one to the last place.

Then in the final round, each suitor would be asked separate questions and the catch would rate their answer one through three and that’s how many points they would get. Then at the end of the round all the points would be tallied up and the two highest would move on to the next round.

To the part that Steve actually liked. The first question always asked was “what would you do for a first date?” And the suitors got to take the catch out for the date and then afterward for drinks, the two dates would ask the catch some of the questions he asked them. Then the catch would pick the one they connected to the best.

It was all the stupid questions that bothered Steve. That was the fun part of dating, having these conversations and learning about them as you go. But then maybe that’s what Steve’s problem was, is that the people he dated didn’t care about these types of conversations.

“Why would you say you hate sports,” Steve huffed, waving his hand at the screen, “when the guy is a major soccer fan? Like did she think that she was going to put a stop to him enjoying it after starting dating?”

“Ooh yeah,” Chrissy agreed. “Just pick a different catch.”

Robin turned to her and tilted her head. “Do they get to chose their catch? I thought it was all random.”

Chrissy paused the show and pulled out her phone and the Wikipedia article. “Okay, it says here that people can apply to be suitors,” she waved at the row of women in the three booths. “Or catches.” She indicated the guy with her hand. “If they’re chosen to be a suitor then they are given a list of catches, headshot included. Then they rank vote them, so if four people pick Henry, then one will be on their second rank vote. And that part is randomized. According to them, anyway.”

Steve snorted. He highly doubted anything was randomized or voted on. They went for the biggest drama and everyone knew it.

“How long has this show been going on?” he huffed. “Like please tell it’s new and shiny and that’s why people like it.”

Robin snorted and shook her head. “Sorry, babe. But this is season twelve.”

“Oohh...” Chrissy said. “We need to show him the season six finale. That was hella juicy!”

So despite Steve’s protests, Chrissy pulled it up on her streaming services even though they hadn’t even finished the episode they were on.

When the credits rolled, Steve stared at the screen in utter shock. “What the honest fuck was that?”

Two of the three guys got into an all out brawl when the one guy had scored the lowest and felt that the second place suitor cheated. Not first place, second. Both guys were arrested and hauled off the set.

“It came out later Sven was right,” Robin said. “Elliot cheated. His cousin was an ex of the catch so he went in knowing a lot about Stella. The things he got wrong were things that had changed since she was dating his cousin.”

Chrissy nodded. “That’s why the have partitions up between the suitors now and why they have vigorous screening now. The show was almost canceled.”

“So why wasn’t it?” Steve asked honestly. “That was a shit show, if I was Stella I would have sued them into oblivion.”

Robin squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. “She did, but they settled out of court.”

“Basically,” Chrissy said, pouring them more wine and handing the first glass to Steve, “she wanted them to completely overhaul the system. She didn’t want it off the air, she wanted it safer for future participants.”

“The more the fool them,” Steve huffed. He took a long sip of his wine. “All right, fine. Let’s start at the beginning.”

Robin and Chrissy cheered and they all huddled up together on the sofa to watch this absolute train wreck of a show.

They were about half way through the third season and twice as drunk when Steve slurred, “Why are there no gay peemles in this? It’s a trav–trad–tramajesty.”

“Travesty!” Robin slurred back, her language skills always being the last to go when she’s three sheets to the wind. “And you are absolutely right! This is homophobic!”

Chrissy nodded solemnly and pulled out her phone. “I’mma show them...” she muttered with her tongue sticking out. “At loveconnectionUSA Need more gays, hashtag loveconnection hashtag need more gays.”

It wasn’t long after that that the three of them passed out on the sofa, empty bottles all around them and a message on the screen asking if they’re still watching.

~

There was a loud beeping noise and it absolutely was hurting his head. He reached over to where his phone was usually plugged in on his nightstand, but his hand went straight through it. He waved his arm all over the place but still his nightstand eluded him.

He peaked open one eye but his vision was obscured by a mass of blonde hair. He tried to push it out of the way but it kept falling back into his face. Finally he pushed Robin off him and onto the floor with a thud.

“Hey!” she yelped.

Steve peered over the edge of the sofa with a look of confusion. “Why are you on the floor?” he muttered over the still beeping of his alarm.

“Stop!” he mumbled and somehow, blissfully it did.

“I’m on the floor because you pushed me there,” Robin huffed, getting to her feet. She did a sniff test and grimaced when she completely failed. “God... how much did we drink yesterday?”

Chrissy struggled to sit up and blinked at her girlfriend groggily. “Not enough if I feel like this.”

Steve rolled over and looked at them both in confusion, then the events of Saturday and all day Sunday came flooding back in.

“Oh fuck...” he muttered, sitting up himself and rubbing his face. One eye was blurry from where his contact had shifted in the night. He wasn’t even sure why he had them on. Probably from sheer force of habit.

He got up and stumbled toward the bathroom where he emptied his stomach of all its boozy contents. He really didn’t remember them eating after breakfast, only a steady stream of harder and harder liquor.

While his was puking his guts out, Chrissy and Robin stole the shower. Thankfully only taking the time they needed to get the gross feeling of being hungover off their skin.

Then Steve closed his eyes as they exited the shower and snuck into Robin’s room to get ready for work. They all worked at Hawkins Middle School, where Steve was a history teacher who coached swimming and basketball. Chrissy was a health teacher and advisor for cheerleading. And Robin was the language teacher. The principal snatched her up because she could teach French, Spanish, and Italian, with her only needing to hire a German teacher.

Steve got his shower and then opted for glasses instead of his contacts, not trusting his shaky hands not poke out his eye or some shit.

They all were mostly human once they got coffee, painkillers, and cereal in them, the three of them, no doubt looking like escaped extras from a zombie flick. They moved as one, gathering up their stuff and shuffling out to Steve’s car. Chrissy sat in the back, Robin riding shotgun.

Chrissy opened her phone to check to see if she had any messages. “Holy shit!”

~

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Look I'd be sorry about the cliffhanger, but you're only waiting 12 hours for it, soooo...

Have fun!

Tag List: TEN SLOTS OPEN

1-@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

[watchingblsnowandforever]

Hello!!

The crack post saga continues... =D

Warning: long, long post 😊😅

To be very honest though, for today's ep I will be getting serious more than usual, because it was quite significant in the flow of the plot, and also had moments of communication (this emotional constipation is what makes me yearn for Cherry Magic ah) that need to be studied a little closely.

HOWEVER, there will most definitely be crack because this group of friends is (unapologetically) batshit crazy and my brain refuses to not make comments at the most inappropriate times.

Peem: NO ONE SAW ME CUDDLING MY CRUSH TO SLEEP RIGHT?!

The sheer panic in his movements, oh my gods. It should not be as hilarious as it is 😭😂

To be very honest though, I would've panicked a bit in his place too, with friends like those, they'd never let him live it down

Peem is so cute 😭

Nothing to see here, just a guy getting shy over how his prince charming hom-ed him, and they kissed through his hand and cuddled all night hehe

Phum: here he comes again :) *eye twitch*

Peem's expression, how he's still holding his hands as if he has the cup, Kluen's disbelief, and Phum's smug af face-

I'm wheezing 😭🤣

Kluen, I'm kinda starting to like you, but no.

You don't stand half a chance against them and their situationship.

Hope you find another boyfriend to fall in love at first sight with (and leave my boys alone please, they don't need any more complications) <3

Oh, Fang knows too. Of course he does, that's his little brother right there

We all know how protective of his brother he is, there's no way he'd let anybody else take care of him... unless, he knew Phum liked that person

les voila

Poor Tan, his theerak just ignoring him T-T

*looks between them* yeah, pretty much the same pic 👀

And here it is. The root of all his fears.

See, in this camp, almost all of them are paired up in the sense that they usually stick to that person. Even Beer has MIck. But then comes wild card Kluen, who's hogging all of Peem's attention as much as he can and that leaves Phum. Alone.

I will be getting back to this running motif of Phum being alone and how it changes through the ep in later scenes as well

Also, after they went back, both Mick and Beer asked if he really was okay, which made me smile, because maybe, Phum isn't as alone as he thinks himself to be. There are people who care for him, who are concerned, who'll support him, and of course, he always has Fang, his beloved phi

My poor babie Tan 🥺🥺

Also, notice how the shot is taken in such a way that they're the only ones in the frame, and are also standing within one specific part of the wall? (Ignore Kluen's head and hands please). It reflects how they're in their own world with each other, especially Tan

The nosy peeps gang strikes again!

Jokes aside, the synchronised strides, the background music together set the perfect levels of suspense and comedy

Peem, smug: yes! that emotionally constipated dumbass is finally getting out of De Nile

Pun: wait... is my plan actually working? Ah, of course it is

Toey: head empty, no thoughts, but... DOES P'Q ACTUALLY LIKE ME OMG I'LL DIE

Oh gods, FINALLY. I wish them a happily ever after. Sadhu 😌🙏🏼

Pun forgetting all about being quiet when Toey finally confesses is so on character 😭👍🏼

Also... what's even the point of being quiet? Q and Chain have been friends with these idiots since high school, of course they know they're peeking

Toey: *shooketh*

Gays in thai bl and staring off into the distance 😭

This scene was so, so beautiful and also quite important for both Q and Toey

Q knew what was up, more or less, but his confusion stemmed from his knowledge of Toey

Would Toey really go to these lengths? For him?

"Why? Are you the only one who can tease me?" <- Q says this to tell Toey that he might have been angry, but now he understands that Toey didn't really have any bad intentions

Hugs always get bonus points from me, and this was pretty up there

Pun hiding behind Chain is so on point

His friends: you're an idiot so we had no choice but to intervene 😭😭

Matt's (JJ) comedic timing is >>>>>>

Toey and Matt's friendship is also given weight in the series, and I'm happier for it.

Also revenge is sweet ehehe *coughs*

Moving on.

If there's no live singing dedicated to your One True Love, is it even Thai BL??

We Are making generous use of MSP songs 😭👍🏼

This scene.

The apology. It is at this point that they're leaving all the past pain, grief and anger in the past

Q makes sure to tell Toey that yes, he may have loved Milk Frappe Boy, but now, in the present, all his love was for Toey, his lovable annoying mentee

This apology is not only to Toey, or Milk Frappe Boy, but to himself as well, because by causing pain to a person he loves twice, he'd caused himself pain too

The perfect sweet and romantic moment, but also with a teeny bit of teasing, because that's who they are

No joke, I gasped and nearly stopped breathing when he said this

Peem's reply, his soft but kind of hurt voice were just so painful to hear

But it's also this moment that Peem gives Phum a reality check – if he really didn't want to, he wouldn't be doing any of this, and Phum had no business trying to control his life

The conversation outside with Q was significant, but also a diluted reflection of Peem's earlier (in ep. 7) talk with Q

Even a few episodes earlier, Q would have gone ballistic on Phum for treating his bestie like this, but now, he asks Peem how he feels for Phum, tries to understand exactly what their relationship is

It was at this point that he knew, he fucked up

Beer is a godsent. I love him <3

I think Toey says "I asked hia Tan to blow it up for me."

Also, Tiw and his rubber duck floater from MSP anyone? 👀

And, we are back to square one where Phum is left alone again

As I'd said before, this a repeating motif throughout the series, but especially the last two episodes

This is how it has always been in Phum's life: he has been left behind. He does have Fang, but now even Fang has a boyfriend. And while this does not affect his brother's affection towards him in anyway, it does introduce a new strand of lonliness for Phum because 1. no matter what, he loves his brother a lot, and knows how much he loves Tan, so he definitely will try to stay out of their way at least sometimes and 2. he wants a boyfriend too. Further, he wants Peem, but there's a push and pull there, and after what he said, in his mind he had pretty much ruined his chances with his crush

This is the moment Phum starts to hope that maybe, just maybe, his feelings aren't as unrequited as he'd thought.

On the other hand, Peem is the one afraid here. What if the deal is all that's holding them together? What if without it, Phum will have no reason to be as close to him?

Peem, baby, for one, your groups are already merged, and secondly, this guy is head over heels for you, no way he'd stop following you like a lost puppy

(Apparently, it's not Peem's turn with the communal braincell this week 😭)

Here, Phum is technically alone, but he's surrounded with friends, and he's smiling

He isn't left behind here, for once, he's sitting there by choice (to shamelessly ogle his crush, but shh we don't talk about that) with the comforting knowledge that when/if he jumps in, he won't be left out, Kluen be damned

Once the floodgates of affection have been opened to Q, there's no going back <3

(Also, notice how Tan is already asleep on Fang's shoulder? 👀)

FINALLY

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT SINCE PEEM KICKED PHUM'S BALLS

Jokes apart, this moment is so, so beautiful. The kiss, the soft question "are you ready for my answer now?" (maybe Peem isn't, but hell if he denies this man his kissies).

Everything leading up to this point is also so very delightful

Phum helping them out in the cafe, despite probably having never worked a day in his life, discovering how Peem still kept the roses and finally, finally, the completed painting. This sight, above all, is what convinces Phum that Peem might have feelings for him after all; because which fool would lie about not having completed something that would free them from being a slave to someone? A fool in love, that's who

ALSO,

if they don't get together and have the fluffiest moments in the next ep, I swear to god, hands will be thrown *grumbles* they're already making me wait a whole damn week

Anyways, that's all for this week, see you next ep! (I cannot promise I won't be jumping around and screaming, but then again, this is supposed to be a crack post so-)

And if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊

Here, have a bubble tea and a sandwich 🧋🥪

[If you'd like, here are my previous posts: Ep 8 and Ep 9.]

[idyllic-affections]

hmm thinking about the recent trend with sibling xiao recs, what about if he has zhongli babysit one day? just some kind fatherly zhongli for the soul…

fatherly inclinations.

summary. zhongli takes on a fatherly role over xiao's younger sibling figure.

trigger & content warnings. brief references to implied violence.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. zhongli & reader, (implied) xiao & younger sibling!reader. 0.6k words. they/them pronouns used for reader.

author's thoughts. the way i had to literally dig this request out of my inbox..... it was all the way at the bottom....... the triple digits are getting closer every day LMAO but anyway. just know that if you have sent in a request, i promise you it does cross my mind every once in a while. anyways fatherly zhongli is very good for the soul!!!!! it is important to get your daily recommended dose of kind dad-like old man zhongli <3333

i believe zhongli has a number of fatherly traits to him, whether he realizes it or not... but of course, i also think he is aware of it.

he is—or more accurately, was—rex lapis, after all. surely it wasn't uncommon for him to be seen as a fatherly figure? the people of liyue looked up to him as one when he was a god, so it isn't like it's a new experience for him or anything.

he's used to it, but that doesn't mean he feels any less endeared by people who deem him as such! it happens often, but he never ceases to feel a parental warmth when it does happen. perhaps it has something to do with his more... dragon-like instincts.

whatever the case may be, he isn't at all bothered by being seen in such a familial way. in fact, he's quite fond of it.

so, inevitably, he would naturally take on that kind of role over his own beloved son's yaksha's younger sibling figure.

...though, as good of a father figure as he is, i think he would be a little bit of a boring person for those not interested in his lengthy history rambles.

but assuming xiao's sibling is interested, for the sake of this post—

he's happy to tell them about anything they'd like to know. if they have questions about liyue's history or about the times when the other yakshas were alive, he's completely alright with telling them his tales... excluding the more violent and grotesque details, of course.

(something tells me he wouldn't want to ruin their image of him, but... he's sure they know part of the truth. they don't say anything about it, so neither does he.)

i think zhongli has a handful of funny stories about xiao, which he totally tells the yaksha's little sibling about. he doesn't mean to embarrass the poor thing! it's more of a wistful, fond nostalgia thing for the ex-archon. now, cloud retainer or madame ping on the other hand...

well. their stories would certainly come with the intention of being teasing, but zhongli is not either of those people. he does it because he's just very fond of those times.

if they're interested in doing something or spending their time somewhere, zhongli will just borrow mora from childe to make it happen LMAO

he'll also take them out to eat with that mora and let them get whatever they'd like <3 it's not like it would put a huge dent in childe's savings, anyway, so it's fine.

(to be honest, childe would probably be especially happy to share if he knew zhongli was using it to spoil a kid. he's just that kind of guy, you know? it shouldn't come as a surprise, given that he has little siblings of his own.)

AND AND AND consider zhongli telling them about liyue's native plants and flowers... he'll explain their symbolisms, how those meanings have evolved over time, what conditions they need to grow properly, etc etc. if they made him a flower crown, he would proudly wear it btw.

he likes sharing information, you know? it's something of a love language.

he's seen so much. he knows so much.

why should he withhold that information, those thousands of years of wisdom, from the people he loves? the way he sees it, maybe one day the information he shares will be of use.

[name] may not be his child biologically or legally, but he sees them as one of his own all the same, just as he did the yakshas and just as he does to the one who remains.

and, you know, if they happen to fall asleep at the end of the day on his shoulder, i don't think he would mind. he'd just lean over, gently kiss them on the temple, adjust their posture so that they don't wake up sore, and kindly murmur with all the tenderness to be expected of a man such as himself, "sleep well, little one."

perhaps xiao comes to find them and take them home, or perhaps zhongli takes them.back to wangshu inn himself.

whatever the case may be, they will be returned home safely.

nothing will get to them with zhongli around.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[whateverisbeautiful]

I was curious about how you think a reunion will go with the group if we ever get one. I don't think Rick and Daryl's reunion should go that smoothly. Especially given the state of their relationship when Rick disappeared. I also wonder about Maggie and Michonne. Some fans like to bring up Negan but I hope the Grimes family never sees him again.

Thanks for asking about this. This one is interesting because there are a lot of in-show and behind-the-scenes factors that could impact which route the reunions take. I wrote out a few of my opinions on it below and somehow I still surprise myself that my thoughts are never super brief lol. ⬇️💗

If the reunion is just a single scene then I think the writers will want it to be positive vibes only and won't allow for them to address a lot of the unresolved history between the characters. I think Rick and Daryl's reunion will likely be smooth both because tptb would want to reinforce the fans' love for the brotherhood but also because Rick will feel like Daryl did something invaluable by watching over his kids while he and Michonne were away.

Knowing that his kids were able to be taken care of by a family member they love would mean a lot to Rick and probably make him feel more forgiving for how things played out between him and Daryl before he left. Especially if he gets the sense from Michonne that Daryl was one of the few people there for her after he was gone, that also would make Rick feel like they can put opposition aside because Daryl was there for his family.

I'm not saying the past should all be swept to the side tho or that Rick isn't the type that would want to address some things because especially watching him in season 9 before he left, he wasn't against calling things out. But I could see the franchise choosing to have a more kumbaya feel for the reunion if all they have is minimal screen time with the characters.

However, if at all they get a bit more screen time to reconnect then it would be nice and realistic to see some honest conversations about how they left off. Especially with Maggie.

Now the Maggie reunion with Rick and Michonne is one I could see being a bit more rocky. Because with Daryl, he and Rick got to at least hash some things out in that pit before Rick's departure and Daryl and Michonne were close and on good terms before she went to bring Rick home. (Honestly, Daryl and Michonne felt like closer confidantes than Rick and Daryl imo, since Rick and Daryl always read more like brothers than best friends to me, but that's a whole other conversation lol. Like pretty much all of season 8 and early season 9 Rick and Daryl's relationship was not in a good state. That's also why I'd be interested in seeing Michonne reunite with Daryl just as much as Rick since they always had a really solid loving friendship). But Maggie seemed to end on not the best of terms with both Rick and Michonne.

Like I could picture that when Rick was taken and having all that time alone to reflect, he probably felt like Maggie must really have strong issues with him if she decided she had to orchestrate a whole plan behind his back.

And then Maggie and Michonne also didn't seem to reconcile after Rick's departure to the point that when Maggie left she didn't let Michonne know. I'd be so curious what Michonne knows about that bridge day. If no one ever told her exactly how those events and schemes played out that day, I could see that being hurtful to now find out that part of why she had to go without her husband for years was because their friends were crafting plans behind their backs, especially when Rick was headed home himself and then got derailed when Daryl offered to take him home instead.

But it's also been a lot of years, and I think Rick and Michonne understand that growth can occur and so they won't hate or chastise people for what happened. I think they'd both be more focused on starting fresh and building a life with their kids. But some apologies from Daryl and Maggie would still be nice. Especially considering Maggie realized Rick and Michonne had it right that Negan being locked up was actually a fitting punishment and was killing him worse than actually killing him would have. Accountability is rare among certain characters, especially when the ones they've hurt are Rick and Michonne, but it still would feel necessary to include it if the story is given more than one scene for a reunion.

And as for Negan, I very much agree with you, anon. I personally have no desire for any of the Grimes family to be seen with Negan again. I've seen that some feel Rick has to see that Negan got 'redeemed,' but that wasn't even what Rick was aiming for. He kept Negan alive to honor Carl's vision but Negan wasn't thrown in a cell to one day get out and become a valued member of society. Rick intended for him to rot in that cell as a consequence of his many deplorable actions. So I could almost see it stinging a bit for Rick to see that Negan got to build a life all while Rick was taken from his life because his friends wanted to kill Negan and then didn't even end up going through with it.

I think Rick would be perfectly happy with him and his family never crossing paths with Negan again because Negan is important to some viewers but he is not on Rick's radar like that. Everyone Rick most needed to reunite with he already reunited with in TOWL. So if they do reunions with the rest of the group it could be interesting but also, like many have voiced before, team family sorta stopped feeling like a tight-knit family after a certain point. Not even in a condemning way because it happens, but they all started to do their own thing and build their own lives. I can think of a few characters that even left or pulled away while Rick was still around and was already content with not seeing him much or ever again.

And so I'm just glad that we already got to see Rick and Michonne reunite with each other and their kids since that's they're heart and these four are the ones who will be most involved in each other's everyday life now.

[aingeal98]

Hi, loved your recent Stephanie Brown post regarding the violence, the rage and general ruthless scrappiness that to me is an essential part of her character.

It also however has always begged a question in my mind I'd be curious to see your take on.

Namely, how do you think Stephanie's willingness to potentially kill or let someone die fits into a Stephcass relationship?

Cos, its easy to see how it works with basically any other character, but their relationship is so distinctly unique and Cass's stance on the subject quite iron-clad.

Not in the sense she won't help a murderer try to change, but in terms of not tolerating anyone dying under any circumstances.

That its hard to see how they'd grapple wither with the fact Stephanie would be willing, or more notably if it actually happened. Obviously context counts for a lot, but yeah, just generally curious.

Ooh good question. I think that overall Cass will never stop believing in Steph despite her willingness to kill. She saw that anger during Steph's Robin run when she threatened to kill Penguin but she also saw Steph step in to comfort a crying child when Cass could not on the exact same mission. Steph was also honest with her about where that anger comes from and why it still exists. So I feel like even if Steph did fall to morally greyer moments than Cass could accept, Cass would be firm in her belief that it doesn't define Steph the way Cass's kill defines her. Steph can change, Steph can be better etc. Even if Steph did kill a villain (in self defence) I could actually see adult Cass defending her? Not the act itself obviously but what it means for Steph as a person. Because obviously Steph would have a bunch of conflicted feelings and the bat's judgement wouldn't help with that, and Cass would be able to pick up on that and given where they are in current canon I can see her trying to shut everyone else out so she can get through to Steph and guide her onto a path where this doesn't happen again. Cass could never look at her fully the same but that doesn't mean Cass would love her any less. They would both be very very sad the whole time though and feel like they're failing each other even if they never verbally acknowledge it.

That said I can definitely see tension between them if they fail to save some scumbag's life and Cass is devastated but Steph is just... Flippant about it. Like oh no the pedo rapist got shot. Sucks but at least it wasn't anyone else. And Cass would be furious, likely saying something insensitive and accusatory as a response, which would raise Steph's hackles in return and get her from "Yeah we tried but there was nothing we could do." to "Actually I'm glad he's dead fuck him and fuck you for being an asshole about it."

If we're talking batgirl Steph and black bat Cass I think they're both at the stage where they're not willing to let this come between them, even if they both get their feelings hurt they'll apologise and talk it out within a week. Neither will fully accept the other as completely right but I think they'd be surprised to find that it doesn't diminish their respect for each other as much as they feared it would.

Unless, of course, during the argument, Cass gets so disgusted by Steph's lack of guilt over the death that she says those three little words:

"Batman was right."

Because in THAT case... Yeah this argument isn't getting resolved with in a week. It'll take a lot of stewing in their hurt feelings, dredging up past traumas and arguments, and probably outside intervention from at least one or two other batfam members. I have faith they'll work it out in the end! They'll just need a bit of help with the communication and apologies because if left alone they'd 100% make it worse.

Ultimately I think what it comes down to is that after Steph's first resurrection, their bond is so tight that neither of them are willing to give up on it no matter how it hurts, which is rare for both of them honestly! Anger and pride can cause them to get nasty but it's not going to break them permenantly because they tried that and it was horrible and they both kind of have ptsd about it at this point.

Thanks for the ask!

[earthmixsclowderofcats]

In my opinion, ZNN are the most omegaverse coded couple. I noticed that many people who don't know them and see them for the first time comment "perfect alpha and omega". And Nunew has joked about getting pregnant in the past. So I'm voting for ZNN omegaverse. But let's be honest, I don't think they would do that lol. They both seem to be determined to advance in music (Nunew has already come really far and Zee is getting started) and they both have a fully booked schedule with many other jobs. On top of that, I feel like omegaverse is still seen as a joke so a serious artist like Nunew probably wouldn't do it. I'd LOVE to be wrong though, I would totally watch it.

I mean... I have already positied by theories.

I am totally supportive in that tbh. I've gotten that vibe since the first time I watched Cutie Pie and I realized that the story would be almost perfect to adapt to that sort of universe. It would make the arranged marriage plotline make a bit more sense tbh. It would also make the subplot about how Kuea and Diao are so worried about being "bad" make more sense. I know it's a cultural difference, but I just don't think playing the drums and knowing karate makes them bad boys, lol. But as omegaverse is an excellent setting to explore traditional and untraditional gender dynamics, the whole "bad boy/bad omega" thing would really hit. (Like, any afab person knows the sort of "sit still. Look pretty. Don't make trouble" kind of energy we grew up with)

And I saw 👀 those jokes Nunew made. Love when they're horny little freaks on main. Love that energy for them and for us.

Speaking with other fans I have the feeling like zeenunew are shifting into the next stage in their careers. Nunew really is focusing on his music and Zee has been very entrepreneurial. I feel that while Cutie Pie was what gave them more widespread recognition their brand is more or less their image as a couple. They do so many events and are self proclaimed workaholics.

So I don't think they'd do an omegaverse show but never say never, those two would work really well for it. And obviously I'm not the only one.

But.

🙈

I was actually thinking about MaxNat.

Wherein I accidentally make a case for giving Maxnat an omegaverse show. 🔻🔻

They're the type of queer couple people either think are cute and charming or "problematic and stereotypical," which also happens to display classic omegaverse tropes and dynamics.

Max is big. Nat is tiny.

Max is older. Nat is younger. (Which has caused them a lot more grief than other pairings with age gaps, interestingly.)

Max is more dominant. Nat is more submissive.

I see a lot of complaints about how Nat/Diao is infantilized (another word I'm putting up on the shelf. Just because an adult man acts cute does not mean he's acting like a baby or being treated as such).

Which, again. Like. You do you, you don't have to vibe with everything but it feels awful judge-y and police-y to me, especially given how stable and happy they seem as a shipped pair.

Like, as cool as Pit Babe was for putting an alpha4alpha couple out there, especially as the first omegaverse outing. I feel like these two are the traditional blueprint, which is why the trope would be controversial lmao.

The term daddybaby gets used a lot in the bl fandom, but they're the most truly daddybaby pair I've been made aware of personally. And it's not just the whole "smol and toll" thing. It's not just the age difference.

Their entire working relationship has always been about learning from one another and taking care of one another. Max has said that he promised Nat's parents to be his guardian, to take care of him. Max has also said that he used to not be very mature, but that being paired with Nat made him grow as a person.

(I would say that these two, along with zeenunew, are examples of positive, healthy age gap relationships. It is clear that all parties respect one another. It's clear that the age difference is definitely an important part of the relationship, but not the cause for the relationship. There's no weird power dynamics. As Max said that Nat helped him to mature, I also often see it mentioned that he and Nunew add more energy to Max and zee's life. They "keep them young" in a sense. And I think that's an example of a couple using their differences to even each other out rather than try to trample over one another. Which is usually the culprit of toxic age gap relationships. The older partner is looking for someone easier to control. )

He quickly grew into a caretaker role that is more traditionally seen in the "daddybaby" dynamic which easily carries over to the alpha/omega dynamic.

There is no doubt about the fact that Nat is spoiled. Even the author of Cutie Pie has said so.

Of course their ages factor into this dynamic link but are not the sole factors whatsoever. I think it's more their personalities, and the way they've grown with, and into one another. There is a sort of trust and intimacy (I mean, there are multiple examples of them picking food out of each other's teeth) that you see with these two. (That often gets credited as being the reason why they have some of the best NC scenes in the business, and also why, sometimes, being a branded pair is good!)

Nat is possessive

As is Max

And clearly I'm not the only one who sees the energy, given the increasing regularity with which I see such comments.

These are not the only examples of course, just the ones I had saved to my phone already.

...

I'm ngl I entirely forgot where I was going with this but my crack theory is basically just *look at them.* Respectfully, you cannot look at this energy and say they wouldn't make a textbook perfect example of an alpha/omega couple and i triple dog dare Domundi to do it.

[radiocrypt-id]

You know, I thought Ylfa was tragic and sad like all the Neverafter characters are in their own way, but I think I'm wrong.

Hear me out.

Ylfa's story diverges from the canon of Little Red Riding Hood when the Woodsman doesn't come by. But he doesn't just not come by that day, he doesn't come by for weeks. Unheard of. He visits all the time, brings wood and forage for the Grandmother, she'd freeze to death at night if he doesn't come by, it's part of his job or just a dude being kind to an elderly woman, enjoying the sweets or soup she makes him as thanks. But he doesn't come by. For weeks he doesn't stop by. And we don't know why, maybe he was hurt or sick, but we know he wasn't dead because the Second Story Ylfa goes and kills the woodsman. Can't kill what's dead. So he's alive, presumably doing fine and healthy, but he doesn't come by. The one person in the story that's supposed to protect Little Red and presumably the village people from wolves just doesn't do that. The one Ylfa is told will always protect her if she finds trouble doesn't protect her.

She waits for weeks for a man that never comes. A hero that won't save her because he's too busy doing something else. And while she waits, the Wolf waits with her. He doesn't chastise her, doesn't provoke and antagonize her, doesn't jeer or make fun of her for waiting for someone he knows isn't coming. He kindly waits in silence, watching over her in that tiny cottage. He's honest when she asks what happened to her grandmother, tells her gently but firmly it was the old womans time to die, but not Ylfas. Death looks this little girl in the face and gently tells her it's not her time to die, even as she yells at him that the woodsmand will come and cut him open, he's gentle and kind with her. When she demands he kills her already, since no one is going to save her from him, he refuses. Death refuses to take Ylfa, even as she waits for it, even as she demands it take her, Death will not do it. What's more, he tells her how to save herself, offers her his own strength, provides a way for her to be her own hero in this story. Hunger and despair eventually drives her to obey, and later she is horrified of what she's done.

Ylfa then runs home, sobbing, terrified, crying out for her mother, her siblings, her grandmother, anyone at all to help her. She's drenched in Wolfs blood, body trying to transform against her will. And what does she find at her home when she gets there? Besides a rightfully terrified mother and siblings hiding in the dark home? Because we know, in the story, that the wolf can take someones shape and trick people into coming close so he can eat them too, of course they'd be afraid of Ylfa, their presumably dead Little Red Riding Hood, showing up drenched in blood begging to come inside and dragging jagged claws along the windows and door. How are they to know it's really her? No one ever survives the Wolf. No one. Let alone one sweet little girl or her elderly grandmother. So what does her terrified family do? they try to kill the Wolf.

What's worse than all that? What's worse than them being understandably afraid of the Wolf at their door? The fact that they didn't have a funeral for their beloved Little Red. That they didn't acknowledge her death at all. They removed her place from the table, didn't make her a place of rest, didn't go looking for her or her grandmother. Little Red didn't come home, they assumed she died and they moved on immediately.

Something terrible and traumatic happened to Ylfa, something that effected her for the rest of her life, something that completely altered her. She searched for someone to save her, but no one would. She reached out for help and understanding from her family that supposedly loved her and they forgot her, attacked her, ran away from her in fear and disgust. Something changed Ylfa forever, and everyone she ever loved left her behind for it. Everyone, except Death. Death which did this to her, which whispered her name, gently caressed her soul, and refused to claim her. Death that told her she would be all the stronger for it, that being monstrous isn't evil or bad. That she can use his gifts, his curse, to defy him, fight him, maybe even stop him.

"I'm the Big Bad Wolf," Death says calmly, his hot breath warming her as he speaks.

"I'm Big and Bad now too, though," Ylfa whispers back, lips still trembling and face damp with tears.

"Then you just may be able to stop me, Ylfa," Death smiles, eyes crinkling at the edges "I encourage you to try."

Death wanted Ylfa to live. When everyone was fine with her dying, or preferred she be dead to what she became, Death wished for her to live. When even Ylfa has wanted to die or stay dead, Death lead her home to life, comforted her, encouraged her, forgave her for wanting to die before her time. Death was so kind and gentle with this sweet little girl, so honest in his answers, so soothing to her grief. He empathized with her confusion and pain, told her it was normal to feel the way she does, not just for the loss of her grandmother, or the abandonment of her family, but for what she's become. Because Ylfa is grieving herself as well. What she had been, what she could have grown up to be had the Wolf not come. Ylfa mourns for herself as much as she mourns her Grandmother.

He promised to take her one day, but only when it was her time, not a second before or after. In that way, she would never die alone, because Death would be there with her. The Wolf would always be with her now, forever and always. He would never find her monstrous or evil, he would never run from her in fear, never curl a lip at her in disgust. And Death, too, would never be alone as a result. Some of him is always with Ylfa, in some way.

I think some of us need this specific kind of comfort. Some of us need Death to look us in the face and say "No, not yet little one, try again, you can do it... Here, let me help you."

Some of us need someone, even Death, too look at how monstrous we've become because of what's happened to us, or how we were made, and be kind, and gentle, and meet us with such patient love as to refuse to let us go, even when we want to let go, even when everyone else has.

Ylfa met Death, and he wanted her to live. Death was dying, and Ylfa saved him.

Death met Death, and together they decided to Live.

[im-ovulating]

Hiiiii I've said it bef9re and I will say it again because let's be honest YOU'RE WRITING IS AMAZING!!!! I absolutely adore your creativity!! I was wondering if I can request something?

Once again it's for alec volturi (shocking I know😂😂) yandere/possessive alec x vampire reader. You can choose how they meet but basically he kidnaps her and she fights for a long time just entirely resists him physically and verbally like constantly talks back. Until eventually after many escape attempts (failed because jane or felix or demitri brings her back evrytime) she gives in and starts to love him. He collars her as a sign of his possessive ownership and she is submissive to him and with him but aggressive ig to everyone else( sorry idk how to word that last part) if it's too much or you're not comfortable I understand❤❤

(A/n: Got me smiling and shit-😂)

(Just in case anyone either never read the books or doesn't remember it from the books but, since vampires are the same temperature, they feel warm to each other)

(Here's a pdf of the book; page 436, 7th line down for any doubters lmao)

Word Count: 1,464

Summary: In which Alec takes a bit too much interest in his mate

Warnings: Kidnapping, Stockholm Syndrome, Collaring

Age Rating: Pg 13

Tactile Power Transferal- the ability to take another vampire's power with a touch and transfer it to whom the user pleases.

Very useful

Unfortunately for you, that's what Aro thought too

Double jeopardy because you found out your mate was a member of the elite guard

You would have been mostly fine with it had he not gotten possessive as much and as quick as he did

It got to the point of not being able to leave the castle unless under order of the kings

Naturally, you fought the imprisonment, but you were never successful

Which leads us to your current predicament:

"Put me down!" You yell, fists pounding the executioner's back.

Not that it affected Felix in any way.

You had managed to escape once more, but was quickly tracked down by Demetri. Once you were cornered, the larger of the two had unceremoniously tossed you over his shoulder so the trip back was -albite just a fraction- easier.

"You do realize that if you stopped running, you wouldn't have to be carried back all the time?" The tracker quips.

"Shut up you damned, bloodhound..." you growl.

He scoffs. "Ouch. That'd actually hurt if it was scent that I track."

You settle for glaring at him, not wanting to deal with him any longer.

-

"From now on, there will be guards stationed outside your chambers; they will be posted outside the door and windows." Aro states with a finality that you can't bring yourself to argue.

Caius chimes in as you lower your gaze to the floor. "How many times do you think we will put up with your traitorous actions? The only reason you're still alive after running away all these times is because of who your mate is. Don't mistake it for leniency. And don't think our patience isn't thinning. Keep this behavior up and you will see first hand why we are known as such fierce rulers."

"Take her back to her room." He commands Felix.

So starts your walk of shame back to captivity.

As much as you hate him for repeatedly placing you back in your cage, you appreciate that he only walks quietly behind you through the halls.

Finally reaching your room, you see that the guards are already positioned. You step in, locking the door behind you.

"You'd be a lot happier here if you stopped fighting."

"I'm not in the mood for you, Alec." You can't bring yourself to care that he's seemingly made himself at home in your room. Too mentally exhausted from constantly pushing against an immovable force.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you know you'll never escape. That it would be so much easier to just give in. Maybe you should. It's not like you have any other options.

'You could always expose yourself. They'd have to kill you then...' No. You ignore the tiny voice. You're not that desperate -not yet any way.

In a flash, Alec has you pinned to the wall by the neck.

His face is twisted into a gnarly sneer.

"You think you have a choice?" He lets out a crude laugh. "You will 'be in the mood for me' whenever I so much as snap my fingers, do you understand me?"

He emphasizes his question by applying more pressure. You can feel the beginning of cracks snake their way around your neck as he waits for your response.

You know it's not just a bluff. He's ripped a limb off before when you spat every curse you knew at him. Turns out the process of limbs reattaching themselves isn't a fun one.

"Do. You. Understand?" He presses further.

"Yes." you whimper as the pain increases, skin splintering like wood left to dry rot.

Just as soon as it started, he lets you go. You let out an unneeded yet shaky breath. He's never threatened death, even if it would only be temporary.

Shit.

There really is no saving yourself.

'All it takes is one step into the sun,' the voice reminds.

'Though, if you really don't want that, there is another way...' The voice is right, but that would mean going against everything you've been fighting for.

'You don't really have much of a choice anymore,' it reminds.

Maybe you're right...

-

Over the next few months, you had stopped trying to run. You had fought every nerve in your body that jumped when Alec was near. Started to force yourself to initiate physicality and affection. Even though you felt like you were burning with every touch and pet name, you pushed through it so that maybe, just maybe, you could trick yourself into thinking you actually loved him.

You don't know when pretending turned in to being genuine. All you know is that one day you were feigning being happy to see him and the next, you were practically bouncing in place as you waited for him to get back from his guard duties.

Only going through the motions of a kiss turned into eagerly pressing kisses to his face and neck, making your way to his lips when you'd been separated for weeks.

You'd fallen and you'd fallen hard. It should scare you, but you can't bring yourself to care when you were no longer mentally and physically in pain. Not when you stopped being guarded 24/7, not when Alec seemed so happy about your new attitude; constantly bringing you beautifully crafted pieces of jewelry or carefully arranged bouquets of your favorite flowers. Not when he would whisper the loveliest things to you in the dead of night as he held you against his chest.

The kings were also pleased with your turn of attitude, though the same couldn't be said for a specific pair within the guard. Let's just say you still hold a grudge against the two that repeatedly humiliated you; carrying you around the castle over their shoulders -or worse, one time they had you held between them: one holding you under the arms while the other held your ankles like you were a fucking jump rope.

So, no, you wouldn't be amicable towards those two any time soon.

You break from your thoughts when your mate enters your, now shared, bedroom with a small box in hand.

"What's this?" You question when he sits next to you, handing the parcel over.

You gently pull the ribbon and take the lid off to reveal a beautifully woven choker. It's a black satin, sewn with a deep red lace. In the middle is a little bow with silver 'A' charm.

"Just a little something to show who you belong to," Alec answers.

You glance to him and back the collar. "It's beautiful." You run you finger lightly along the red lace. "Put it on me?"

"Of course," he holds his hand out for the box. You hand it to him amd turn to the side.

You feel his warm hand glide across the back of your neck, moving your hair out of the way. Alec brings the collar across your front and easily clasps it in the back, fixing your tresses to their original position.

You turn back to him as he takes hold of your jaw, pulling you into a searing kiss.

"You're mine," he murmurs into the kiss.

Your hands slide into his hair as you mumble an agreement.

Before you can blink, your back is on the mattress and Alec is hovering above you. He trails his kisses down to your jaw and to your neck, slowly kissing his way to the neck of your top.

You can't help the stuttered breath that leaves you when he nips at your collarbone.

Looking down at him, a whisper of his name leaves your lips. "Alec..."

His eyes are near black when he looks up at you. You can't help but pull him back to your lips, teeth clashing as you both lose your sense. Not that you can be bothered to care; all you can focus on is 'Alec, Alec, Alec' playing like a mantra in your mind. His taste, his smell, his feel. He's invading all your senses and you couldn't be more content.

Alec loops a finger under the choker, pulling you to be impossibly closer. He breaks away only long enough to ask: "Let me show you who you belong to?"

"Please," your legs wrap around his hips in a futile attempt to pull him even closer.

An almost sadistic smirk appears on his face as he dives back to your lips. He hikes one of your legs higher so he can press his hips to yours and-

Oh.

Oh, it's going to be a long night.

Not that you can find it in yourself to mind...

[dyns33]

The stupid genius

A little Nathan Bateman x female reader

Y/N should have known.

Truth be told, she had had doubts at first, when Nathan started cooking for her, and asking her questions about her day, actually listening to her answers even if he could see everything on his cameras, and kissing her with tenderness, and taking her to bed only to concentrate on her pleasure.

This was not normal, because Nathan Bateman was a selfish genius who understood nothing about human relationships and social rules.

But Y/N loved him despite all his flaws. He had managed to seduce her by showing some vulnerable sides, in addition to his intelligence and his humor, so she had thought that he was doing this for her, to show her that he loved her too, after all this time together.

So she let her guard down, and enjoyed every moment.

Then, one evening, because he had hardly slept in three days, she went to look for Nathan in his office to ask him to rest a bit.

She then saw what he was working on lately.

Nathan had never hidden from Y/N that he wanted to create the perfect AI. She was undoubtedly the only person alive aware of his project, which was a great honor and a demonstration of trust, aided by the confidentiality contract she had signed.

The part he was working on now was very important : the ability of the A to have emotions, or at least to act as if it had emotions.

It was not a big deal. What Y/N didn't really like was discovering photos and videos of her on Nathan's screens, all the moments they had spent together for several weeks.

"… Can you explain this to me ?"

"Hmm ?" was Nathan's response, who didn't even seem to notice that she had entered. "What ?"

"What are you doing ?"

"You're not stupid, you see what I'm doing. I use a database to code the emotional responses of my creations."

"But why not movies? Why not someone else ?"

"Movies aren't real life, babe. I want real emotions. It has to be fluid, honest, and it's better for the same AI if it's the same person. I wanted answers specific to certain situations, so it was easier."

“… Fuck you, babe.” Y/N spat as she walked out.

Nathan didn't follow her. He didn't seem to understand why she was angry, and he probably thought it wouldn't last, like most of the arguments they'd had in the past.

Each time, he joined her in the bedroom, or the next morning. He took her in his arms, kissed her neck, without really apologizing, but making her understand that he didn't like her being mad at him, and she forgave him.

Not this time.

When he hugged her in the kitchen, asking her what she wanted to do today, Y/N didn’t move. She had no expression, acting like some kind of robot, responding that she didn't know. She didn't want anything.

Especially not with him.

This surprised him. Nathan Bateman wasn't used to being resisted. But he just shrugged as he finished his coffee to get ready for his morning boxing session, before going to his lab, thinking that she would be calmer afterwards.

"You're really acting like a child." he said during lunch, seeing that nothing had changed. “It’s children who sulk.”

“You sulk all the time.”

"That's not true. I get annoyed by the mediocrity and stupidity of others, which exhaust me mentally. The problem is that you're not stupid, otherwise you wouldn't be here, so I'm even more annoyed by your behavior.”

“You really don’t see what you did wrong.”

It was not a question. Of course Nathan didn't see what he had done wrong. He never did anything wrong.

It was already a great honor that she lived with him, slept with him, knew his plan, so Y/N should be flattered that he pretended to be nice to her so that she serves as a model for his great work.

There was absolutely nothing offensive.

“Alright, I’ll stop sulking.” Y/N declared, keeping her expression perfectly neutral.

“I hope so, it’s really not fun.”

He didn't seem to notice right away that she hadn't stopped sulking. She agreed to go for a walk with him, she let him kiss her, she answered his questions, but she did all this without showing the slightest emotion.

He finally seemed to realize it while they were in bed, and she was letting him do whatever he wanted.

"You're alright ?" he asked, and Y/N felt like there was concern in his voice, even if it sounded absurd.

"Yes. Good. Just tired."

“We can stop if you want.”

"I'm fine."

Without realizing it, but turning her head so he wouldn't see her, Y/N cried until he was done, and she stared at the ceiling for the rest of the night, thinking that maybe it was time for her to go.

She wasn't the first to mention the helicopter.

“If you want to leave, you just have to ask me.”

Nathan didn't turn towards her, his gaze turned towards the mountains. He didn't even give her time to close the living room door before saying this sentence.

"… Where did you get this idea ?"

"Don't act stupid. I already told you I didn't like it."

"I'm not sure what you like or don't like lately. You want me to leave ?"

This made him move, and Y/N saw something strange in Nathan’s eyes. Something she had never seen before, or ever so slightly, when he was drunk, or when he thought she couldn't see him because the lights were off.

Emotions.

Fear. Sadness. Suffering.

“Of course I don’t want you to leave.” he said with an equally strange voice. "As I don't want you to cry when I touch you. I want you to slap me and tell me to stop."

“You told me to stop acting like a child.”

“That's not the point !”

“Not the point ?!” Y/N said angrily as she approached, which seemed to scare him. "You pretended to be interested in me for your work ! You played the perfect boyfriend only to study my micro expressions and reproduce them on your machines. Do you think that makes me happy ? To know that you don't care ? It hurts you that I'm crying because of you ? But that's what I feel when you touch me now, when I see you, when I listen to you, because I know that I don't care ! I'm not important to you !”

She promised herself to stay calm. She had promised herself to continue playing the robot, telling him that she was leaving him, and that she wanted him to delete all the images he had of her.

But it was too hard, because despite all his faults, she loved the bastard, and she hated that he pretended to be sad that she was sad. He even dared to make the decision to leave for her.

"… I didn't pretend." he whispered, and he had never looked so vulnerable.

"Oh, shut up Nathan. You said it, I'm not stupid."

"Maybe I am, a bit, if you really mean everything you just said. I care about you. I love you. That's why I wanted you to be the model, and not anyone else. It allowed me to spend time with you, to make you happy, and yes to work too. One stone, two birds. I didn't understand why that upset you. I guess I missed an essential fact…"

“That you’re an ass.”

“Yes, that.”

This day was really strange, even stranger than when he started being nice. Nathan stopped looking at her, as if he no longer wanted her to see him like that, so human, and he started looking at the mountain again while scratching his skull.

It was almost perfect. However, there was one little thing missing.

“You didn’t say you were sorry.”

"I'm not sorry."

Y/N stared at him for a long time, thinking about the helicopter again. It was still tempting, despite the beautiful speech she had just heard.

"I mean…" he added, looking embarrassed. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, of course. I'm not sorry that I did it, I had good reasons, but I didn't mean to hurt you, and if you don't want me to do it again, I won't do it again.”

“What if I still want to leave ?”

“I would be heartbroken, masturbate to your videos, and cry like a kid in my bed for several months.”

“I thought you never acted like a kid.”

“I said I’m not sulking, it’s different.”

Nathan Bateman was such a jerk. But Y/N already knew that when she met him, and when she fell in love with him, and it was arguably the most romantic statement he had ever made, and was capable of making.

Rolling her eyes, she finished approaching him, taking him in her arms and kissing his neck. He got the message, returning her embrace without saying anything, kissing her forehead.

The argument was over.

"You didn't say if I can continue to use your…"

"No."

"All right." he sighed, with a small smile, not letting go of her to finish his coffee, do his boxing session and lock himself in his lab.

[nyxrev]

Neo Disciplinary Agents

*chills*

She got jacked arms under her suit, no doubt…crazy spider-leg hair, she has full control over every thread of organization members… what were they prior? Ex-mercenary? They emit prison guard… or executioner vibes…

You simply don't fxck around. You will not find out, you will simply be gone, gone like a speck of dust.

Let's talk about neo org structure, (ex?)-criminals, cult leaders, big-shot bourgeoisie… 99% guaranteed to each have their own purposes, grand delusion of world conquest, & their nefarious deeds:

Loot, tax evasion, human experiment & underground market etc.

Such an exemplary bunch, what could possibly go wrong?

Allow me to tell you a story:

Once, X worked at an establishment* with decent pay but manager bullied them so they left for another sect. across the block, who promised them better pay & fair treatment. Except when they arrived, to their dismay, other staff were jealous saboteurs, back-stabbers, rumour mills who did all they could to drag others under no matter how low they stoop.It was even implicitly encouraged.Boss did not want X bc of age, manager later also did not want X bc of “ability” despite prior promises, but they do not get dirt on their own hands, so they “borrow other's knife to k!ll” so to speak,which is why some staff turn on X as if they get paid… they do, though reward may not be money.

X decided to quit when they found out just how shady they operated:

identity fraud & faked marriage for immigration, debt entrapment, money laundry, tax evasion, exploit staff by tip confiscation, gambles are on the tables & obligatory, prostitute to the top, join cult for promotion

Their method:

financial & social entrapment, back scenes manipulation,subtle coercion

At the end X went back to prior org …at least they had rigid management who know how to run an operation on the table… all hands visible.

Sound familiar?

… … …

Not to dismiss the benefit of doubt but when you fill your ranks & esp. the executive echelon with egoistic characters of dubious backgrounds & even more obscured intentions… what would you expect happen?

Already on first encounter somebody expressed vehement protest. Truly smart opposition don't show their fangs until it's too late for you. Ex-criminals who look ready to pick a fight anytime? You rly think they would change for good? Mayyybe… but words are cheap talk, watch what they do. Cult leaders… never good news. Immediate boost of followers for your organization? Sure. Long-term goals? Hmm… Well, what can the bourgeoisie do? Anything they want & their money can buy. Easy funds? For now. You think they will just fund you for free? It's a world of Give & Take, & who knows better how to seize* than an elite capitalist. An iconic idol can't be bad, we get loyal popularity!Except she's wired to the organization's server, which seems convenient,for communication? Or maybe… mind control? She already experiences “glitches”…seems like a cyborg power boost clearly has draw -backs.How long can the power boost of borg op. last? What happens when it's worn out? We all know hardware needs maintenance & upgrades. About the disciplinary agents? Also borgs …But they look uncanny, like they'd be unfazed under any circumstances, like they know…things.Idk about the ex-mercenary part… they thoroughly creep me out.

Hey at least the young leader seems honest & competent? Keyword: young* Can we expect a circus of hooligans to obey a 16 yr-old boy? …How much control does he actually have over them? I don't doubt his competency, I doubt the members' extent of will for cooperation.

(no no I'm just paranoid~) oh but…

For example,

Suiryu is obligated to work for neo now to pay for the suit he damaged, debt entrapment at work.

[sedregina]

Is Vermiglio (2024) hiding one more twist? [major spoilers]

I really loved Italy's awards submission for 2024, Vermiglio - directed by Maura Delpero.

The film isn't lacking surprising twists, but there could be one more in the final part of the film that many viewers, and basically every foreign viewer I saw reviews from, might have missed.

There's actually a widespread theory among Italian viewers that Lucia's journey to Sicily is all a dream, like a fever dream she needs to get through to finally overcome her grief and accept her daughter.

This is supported by the fact that the Sicilian scenes feel a bit weird and unrealistic compared to the extreme historical realism of the scenes in Vermiglio (the village), and have even been criticized by some reviewers for feeling "out of place".

I haven't dug much into cast and director interviews to see if anyone has confirmed or even talked about this, but from a quick search I couldn't find any official confirmation. If there is one, please point it to me.

What are the pieces of evidence supporting the dream theory?

1. First, the last time we see Lucia before we see her on the boat to Sicily, she's in bed as she closes her eyes to sleep. This could be an indication that what follows is a dream.

2. In Sicily, Lucia finally gets Pietro's letters from the priest and it feels too much like a dream come true: Pietro's letters are exactly what she had been missing and waiting for for so long. But why would the priest have these letters? Unless, this is a dream where everything is possible.

I think it's also likely those are her own letters that she sent to Pietro by addressing them to the priest and that didn't reach Pietro in time as he was already dead– to be honest it's not very clear. If this is the case, Lucia taking the letters back in the dream might represent her coming to terms with the harsh reality of never getting a reply back from Pietro.

3. While some Sicilian can be heard spoken by the local children and Pietro's wife, the priest and the wife talk to Lucia in perfect Italian, without a hint of the local language, which is possible of course but would have been a rare exception at the time in that small Sicilian town.

The wife immediately addresses Lucia in Italian: how does she know she's not a local and would not understand Sicilian? I don't think they'd be getting a lot of outsiders back then.

The film went to great lengths to have everyone speak either the local language (mostly) or Italian (sometimes) in Vermiglio depending on the specific context, and gets a full score in sociolinguistics until now, but suddenly it's very inaccurate with languages?

4. This is what mainly made me go "what the heck?" during the entire Sicilian sequence when I still thought it was really happening: there is no way Lucia, a young woman from a remote village in the far north who isn't even used to speaking Italian, would have traveled to Sicily alone in the post-War chaos. It's just unrealistic. She's not an educated city girl, and she has never left her village before. And would her strict father have let her go?

If a male relative had gone with her, maybe, but traversing Italy all alone like that in 1945? They made a big deal of letters not traveling due to the post-war disruption, and mentioned Pietro having to go home with a special Red Cross transport, but Lucia is suddenly able to go to a remote Sicilian town and back so easily?

She also doesn't have any luggage and she's always wearing the same clothes– on the boat, in Sicily, and when she gets back to the village. Pretty weird and dream-like.

5. And finally, the most telling hints: in the credits, Pietro's wife is credited as "woman in the Sicilian dream":

I have also found some articles that say things like "for the scene of Lucia's dream, they used this location..." that read like they're based on a press release from the production, pointing to the dream interpretation as the official one:

To conclude, I wouldn't say the dream theory is 100% correct as we don't have any full confirmation (that I know of), but in my opinion it would be the perfect way to explain the out-of-placeness of the Sicilian segment, and the hints are clearly there.

[theprettynosferatu]

State of the Blog, August 2024

Friends, kinksters, secret crushes:

Thank you for coming. Well, the blog is starting to get moving again after my 4 month absence, and I hope to keep up production! I already wrote a new story and I'm working on a second!

Patr¿on:

Which means the Patr¿on people are getting the library fed a bit! I mean, it's already quite massive, but I'm so glad to be creating once more.

And for the people that stuck by me during my hiatus: THANK YOU. You truly don't know what it means to me. You saved my bacon more than once.

To be honest, I'm not promoting the patr¿on again yet here aside from tags on images. I don't feel comfortable doing so just yet. I'm still finding my balance again, juggling real life work and kink work. This is why I haven't opened commissions either, but I'm hoping to soon.

Also, let me offer an explanation and a little bit of a secret. My content was a bit... spicy there- so if you sign up, wait for me to dm you (it usually takes me less than 24 hours) on how to access the library.

As for the secret... I have never, ever revoked access after a patr¿n stopped subscribing. I'm not goddamn Netflix. As far as I'm concerned, any support for me is a donation. Those than can do it more or for longer are greatly appreciated and kinda make up for those that fall on hard times: but I hope you do it because you care about my work and kink, not because you fear losing access to the library, because you won't.

I'm building kink socialism over here!

AI Sucks Ass and Not in A Fun Way and I'm a Hypocrite.

Let's address this elephant in the room. You have surely noticed I'm using AI for captions. I hate it. I hate that I haven't found a better way yet.

The reason is this: as I've explained before, long ago in the before-times, I just used pics of people that were available online. Mainly sex workers. I didn't think much of it, as I saw captioning as inherently transformative. Well, that bit of a legal leaf ignored something rather big: what the sex workers wanted. And it took sex workers on my own discord having a serious chat to make me change my stubborn mind. There is a consent issue: what if I use a pic of someone and transform it into a sort of maledom, misogyny kink pic? They never consented to being the face of that kink! Maybe they hate it!

I have worked together with swers to make captions they'd feel fine with and promote their work as well as mine. The problem there is the ravenous appetite of the algorithm, which demands more and more content. Sex workers are people, and chatting with me, deciding to trust me, working together is something I truly cherish. It's also a very slow process. Sex work is hard and takes up a lot of time!

And so we land on the current day. I try to make the blog more text-based these days but captions are a part of the content and have been since the beginning. Does it suck? Yes. absolutely. I mean, some of the pics turn out pretty cool, but it's just... icky to use it. It has been trained on scrubbed data from all over, without compensation. It is a bad thing.

But it might be the less-bad option. God, I hate "lesser of two evils" shit and the point may come when I don't feel comfortable doing captions at all, aside from a few ones starring followers who want to be captioned.

We'll see how I feel after a while.

For now, I'm just happy to be back here, with all of you. I hope I can provide some kinky entertainment.

And again, thank you all for sticking around. You're the reason I'm still here, every one of you. Stay safe, stay proud.

[kinkandkreep]

More Random Doramai Thoughts (continuation of the previous blurb)

Thinkin' 'bout the darkest possible ending for the Doramai college ABO blurb I posted the other day.

CW: noncon, drugging, kidnapping, mention of murder, mention of s**cide

Let's say that the newly obsessed Mikey has never truly experienced deep affection or attraction to anyone before, and for even more added spice, let's chalk this up to his Dark Impulses, which in this au he was born with as a result of some fumbling on the part of his father. (I'll let you decide what exactly that entails. I've got some ideas so if anyone would like me to share, I can do that as well.)

Anyway, when Manjiro finally realizes the depth of the emotion he feels of Ken, he doesn't immediately know how to process it, and so he lets his instincts lead.

And instinct says to claim the Alpha.

By any means necessary.

Mikey is cognizant of the fact that Ken is a catch, technical status as a "loser" aside.

He's strong, he's very good looking, he's decently intelligent, especially where it matters, and he's dependable.

That's more than can be said for a whole lot of guys, Manjiro would know.

So, he knows it won't be long before someone else realizes this and tries to snatch his Alpha away from him.

And Mikey's not normally one to believe, but he can't help but think that the fact that no one has taken Ken yet has to have been fate. He was being saved especially for him, and Mikey has also never been one to let an opportunity go to waste.

He does try at first, to pursue Ken normally.

He does the typical Omega things: dresses more feminine and daintily, acts more demure and reserved, uses scent enhancers.

All that is well and good, but it doesn't net him the results he was expecting.

Other Alphas fall all over themselves to get to him once he makes these changes, but his intended couldn't seem to care less.

Manjiro makes repeated attempts to approach and express his feelings to Ken, but each time he's either disregarded or outright shot down.

And the worst part about it is, Ken's never cruel in his rejection, just very straightforward and honest.

It drives Mikey insane.

Why doesn't Ken want him?

They'd be perfect together, can't he see?

Their pups would be perfect; good looking, strong, just like their parents.

Mikey wracks his brain trying to come up with a solution.

Until one day, after months of trying and failing to "court" Ken...

He catches him hugged up with some other Omega.

The Omega is very pretty, and Mikey recognizes him as Seishu Inui, a rather quiet guy, someone who never really caught Mikey's eye outside of his looks.

He and Ken are currently engaged in a heated lip lock some distance away from Mikey, and before the smaller blonde Omega realizes what he's doing, he's marched over to where the couple is, eyes ablaze with anger.

"How fucking dare you?!"

Ken and Seishu separate, looking as confused and annoyed as they feel.

Once he recognizes who it is, Ken sighs.

"Mikey, what are you doing here?"

Ignoring the question, Mikey continues.

"So this is why you've been rejecting me? Because of him?"

Seishu's brows furrow, but he doesn't speak.

With another sigh, Ken answers. "Yes and no. I rejected you initially because I simply am not interested in pursuing anything deeper with you. Seishu and I only just recently started dating, not that it's any of your business."

Mikey is taken aback, and he can feel tears wanting to well up in his eyes. But he refuses to cry in front of this asshole and his little bitch, so instead he takes a step back, before quickly turning on his heel and briskly walking away.

He keeps moving until he makes it home, and once he's safely inside his room, back against the door, he bursts into tears, sliding to the floor and wrapping his arms around his knees, into which he's buried his face.

‘But I was doing everything right. I changed so much for him. I love him! Truly, truly love him.’

At this point, Manjiro has begun to feel something...strange begin to flood as heat across his body.

He suddenly feels hungry, but not for food, and not even for sex.

This feeling is dark and possessive, almost entirely foreign to Mikey, as he’s never cared for anyone like this before.

Lifting his head, his expression has flattened, his eyes dull.

"I love him, and he is mine. I will not allow anyone or anything to come between us."

Fast forward, Manjiro decides the easiest and most familiar course of action to separate Ken and Seishu is to ruin Seishu's reputation around the school and run him out of town, but when that proves less than fruitful, he, influenced by his desperation and Dark Impulses, resorts to killing him.

To avoid suspicion, he leads the, admittedly minimal, evidence trail back to a Beta named Hajime Kokonoi, who everyone knew had a serious crush on Seishu.

When word gets around that the students and investigators suspect him, the pressure, in combination with his deep sorrow over the fact that the love of his life is dead, drives Hajime to take his own life.

Mikey didn't predict that it would work out that way, but it thankfully makes Seishu's murder look like an open and shut case.

For all except one person.

Draken knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that Mikey is the one who killed Seishu, but he knows it would be next to impossible to convince anyone else of that, especially now that the case has officially been closed.

At this point, Mikey, in his delusional mind, is certain that now Ken will come to him willingly, but when he's proven wrong, things escalate even further.

Long story short, Manjiro ends up drugging and kidnapping Ken, then waiting until he wakes to go on his whole spiel about why they're perfect for each other, and how he never wanted to hurt Ken, or anyone for that matter, but that Ken forced his hand.

When he realizes how unreceptive Ken is being, Mikey decides to show him how good he could make him feel, deliriously hoping that it'll cause him to fall in love in return.

While Ken is bound and gagged, Manjiro takes his time "pleasuring" him, riding his cock and rambling the entire time about how beautiful their children will be, how perfect their shared home, how everything's going to work out fine if Ken would just get with the program.

I like to think that it takes a while, but eventually a frustrated and somewhat exhausted Mikey finally gets an orgasm or two out of Ken, who doesn't cry, but becomes unresponsive as a result of what's happened to him.

There's several ways this could go, so I'll leave it up to y'alls imagination for now, but if anyone would like me to continue or even potentially make this a full story, don't hesitate to let me know.

Thanks for readin'! Ari out! ✌🏾