#which is fine cuz like what if i have this phone for the next 5 years and i have a new fav color

[trvbblemaker]

getting a new phone today!!

[blackdollette]

Hey, "high with Clyde" anon here (and high again, funnily enough). Smut you say? I've had a thought circulating in my mind recently. Going shopping for new clothes with Jack Thurlow and trying stuff on for him to rate while he sits all pretty on that couch they have there (y'know, that one that they have specifically for guys doing the exact same thing?) while you model for him. And for whatever reason - maybe his responses have been rather lacklustre and you want his....ahem, "enthusiasm", or maybe just cuz you're devious like that - you decide you wanna rile him up a little bit. So! At the next store, you grab like, the sluttiest outfits available unbeknownst to him, and then model them all for him, feeling all smug that he's practically drooling at you

And when he finally reaches his breaking point, the next thing you know, you got your feet behind your ears and his hand over your mouth so you don't get caught. 🤤 Idk, do with that what you might. ^^

you've done it again, anon 🙌🏽

"i get dressed to ride for you, baby." | jack thurlow

burning desire. - lana del rey

✮⋆˙ [tags] @faesucksass @lustkillers @angelsanarchy @mayathepsychic1999 @josibunn @livingdead-materialgirl@romanroyapoligist @oliviah-25@si1nful-symph0ny @auggiethecreator @vanlisbon@livingdead-reilly @imoonkiss @lankysimp @nom-nommmm1 @xxbl00d-cl0txx @k1ll3rh0rr0r @wildathevrt @mommymilkers0526 @greenxgloss @wild-rose-35 @areuirish

female!reader x jack

word count: 1.8k

contents: public sex, unprotected p in v, missionary position, creampie

“you’ve got 5 minutes to try everything on, you hear me?” jack called out as he sat on the small leather couch outside of your dressing room, brows furrowed as he crossed his arms and slumped into the seat knowing full well you were going to take your precious time trying on every single outfit. so much for a "fun" shopping trip.

inside the small room, you had an assortment of clothes in front of you, ranging from long flowy gowns to dark blue baggy jeans and designer sweaters. a top-tier selection of clothes but none of which were to jack’s taste. but you decided to test your luck anyway.

minutes later, you stepped out and stood right in front of him, wearing your first dress. “how’s this one, jack?” his eyes were downcast, looking at something on his phone. you tapped him on the shoulder, only earning half of his attention. “hm? it looks nice, dolly.” you pouted, moving your hand to his chin to make him look at you. “but you didn’t even look at it.” he moved your hand away, looking you up and down with an unamused gaze. “i said it looks fine. now are you finally done so we can get out of here?” 

you rolled your eyes, walking back into the dressing room and slipping off the dress. you picked up a skintight black dress that was so long it dragged on the floor. surely this one would grab his attention, you thought to yourself as you paired it with a white, button-up sweater. you put on a pair of light-brown heels that were hidden by the fabric, stepping out once again and patting his cheek. 

“what about this? is this one better?” you gave him a little spin, giving him a full 360 degrees of your body in the tight dress. he gave a little smirk in response. “yeah if you wanna look like a nun, i guess. is this the last outfit? i don’t think i can listen to the music in here any longer.” you huffed, discouraged at how nonchalant he was. “yes, im done.” you muttered, walking back into the dressing room to get back into your normal clothes.

you walked out of the dressing room empty-handed, leaving everything behind since none seemed to give you the reaction you expected from him. he took your hand, dragging you out of the store and back into the main mall. “good riddance,” he muttered under his breath. “can we go home now, angel?” your eyes scanned the assortment of stores surrounding you until they landed on one that would surely sell clothes that would blow his socks off.

you shook your head. “not yet, i just wanna go to one more store. please, just one more place?” you begged, staring up at him as he groaned. “only one more. you head on inside, i’m going to grab a coffee. i’ll meet you in the dressing room.” with that, he released your hand and let you go your own way. 

you dashed into the store, immediately pleased by the outfits in the display window. you wasted no time picking up everything you saw, picturing the look on his face when he’d see the clothes on you. you walked into the dressing room, starting to change into one of the outfits as you heard his voice.

“you in here, doll?” he said as he sipped on his hot drink, waiting for a response. “i’m here, jack. just gimme a sec, okay?” he nodded, immediately realizing that you couldn’t see his answer. he sat down on the seat in front of your dressing room, sighing as he scrolled on his phone. “this damn girl…” he whispered to himself. then he was interrupted by the noise of you walking out, standing right in front of him.

you didn’t have to tap him to get his attention this time. his eyes were caught by the shiny black thigh-high leather boots you had on. then his eyes traveled up, first landing on your dangerously short pleated skirt and low-cut tube top that showed just enough cleavage to make his breath hitch (this is the outfit). you placed your hand on your hips, looking down at him as he swallowed hard, immediately putting his phone down and gripping the seat.

“now i’ve got your attention.” you remarked smugly. “you like this one, jack?” you took the words out of his mouth, his cheeks covered in a bright pink stain as his mouth gaped open. he cleared his throat, nodding nervously as a stupid little smile tugged at his lips. “y-yeah, this one’s nice, baby. give me a little spin, will ya?” your face lit up and you twirled, making the skirt lift up just a little as your heels clicked on the ground.

jack squirmed, shifting his position so he was sitting with his legs crossed, suppressing a painfully obvious boner. you grinned triumphantly, happy that you could break his cold, hard exterior. you walked back into the room, making that sad that you were going away but excited to see that next set of clothes you’d have on.

minutes passed and jack found himself impatiently tapping his foot as his mind ran wild with thoughts of you wearing such intimate clothes just for him. his hard cock was straining against the rough denim of his jeans, making him groan quietly as he placed a hand on top of his bulge to calm the throbbing sensation.

his foot began to bounce on the ground with anticipation, and soon enough he couldn’t take it anymore. he sprung up from his seat, pushing the curtain of your dressing room to the side and popping his head in. “are you done in here?” you jumped slightly, startled. but jack’s eyes became as wide as saucers as drool began to drip down his lips. 

you stood in front of the mirror, wearing a small tennis skirt with a plaid pattern on it, paired with a white silky shirt that was more revealing than your bra. and your cute little feet in those white knee-high socks didn’t help the matter either (the outfit). “jack! i’m not done in here yet!” 

he walked into the room, approaching you with a lust-filled haze as you backed into the wall behind you. he closed the curtain of the room, pinning you to the wall and pressing his body into yours, his boner pressing into your stomach. you gasped, the heat of blood starting to pool in your core as he grabbed your face and pulled you into a very sloppy kiss.

“goddamnit, woman… you just know exactly how to drive me crazy, don’t you?” he grabbed your ass, lifting you off the ground and making you wrap your legs around his waist, your clothed, throbbing clit now in contact with his pulsating bulge. you moaned into his mouth as he kissed you again, this time using his tongue to tease yours with his gentle flicks.

your hips began to grind on his, desperate for even the smallest amount of pleasure to still your nerves. jack groaned deeply, whipping out his cock and pumping it quickly. you glanced down, seeing that his girth had nearly doubled in size because of how swollen it had gotten. he rubbed his leaky tip on your silky panties, feeling your wetness through the thin fabric.

you let out a shaky moan, grabbing onto his muscled biceps as he set you down on the wooden bench that was meant for clothing. he pushed everything else off, leaving room for only you as he pushed your legs behind your head, the wet spot on your panties much more conspicuous in this position.

jack bit his lip as he grinned from ear to ear. “that’s my little model…” he trailed a teasing finger down your cleavage until he got all the way down to your dripping wet cunt. he replaced his finger with his cock, getting off from the feeling of your wet folds hungrily attempting to swallow him.

“guess we should get these out of the way, huh?” he slipped his cock underneath the thin string that covered your pussy, breaking it away with a light tug. your breath became shaky as the cold air hit your grooling cunt. jack spat on his thumb, rubbing messy circles onto your clit as he lined himself up with your hole.

the tip slipped in effortlessly, along with the first few inches. you moaned quietly, making jack clamp his hand over your mouth. “it would be a shame if we got caught in here, wouldn’t it?” with a low groan, he pushed in the remaining inches of his rod, making your eyes well. with his jeans down to his ankles, his hips began slapping into yours.

your eyes rolled to your back on your head as the perfect curve of his dick made him reach nothing but your cervix. you felt your drool bubbling all over his hand as deep, heavy breaths escaped from his parted lips. his large cock abused and stretched out your tiny hole, much to his pleasure.

his fingernails dug into the back of your thighs as his balls slapped your asshole with every deep thrust. your hands found his wrist and forearm, gripping the skin tightly as a white-hot knot began to tie in your stomach. jack’s orderly thrusts quickly lost their composure as your muffled moans made his core boil.

strings on precum connected him to you each time he pulled out. he flipped his hair out of his face, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed back curses that threatened to break free. “s-shit… that’s it, baby… takin’ my cock so well…” 

your back arched as you ground your hips against his, desperately chasing the orgasm that was just in your reach. your gushy folds hungrily ate up his cock, making him toss his head back. “use my dick, angel…just like that.” you brought your fingers to your clit, sobbing into his hand as you felt yourself cumming all over him. he grabbed your hips, fucking you at lightning speed as his balls sagged with cum. in a matter of seconds, he was filling up your tight, swollen pussy with loads upon loads of his hot seed.

he pulled out of you, watching as his cum cascaded out of your hole like a milky waterfall. you panted breathlessly, slowly regaining your composure as jack tucked his cock back into his pants before getting you all cleaned up as well.

you put on your clothes, looking at the mess you two had just made in a public residence. but before you knew it, jack was out of the dressing room, carrying all of the clothes you tried on. you walked behind him quickly. “where are you going?” jack smiled back at you. “to the cashier. i look forward to my little model putting on a show for me every night.” he dumped the pile of clothes onto the counter, the cum-stained skirt above everything else like a cherry on top.

author's note: thank you "high" anon for the request! istg I rlly didn't mean for it to get so long

[xx-alice-in-wonderland-xx]

Abby, Yara and Lev incorrect quilted cuz they are my children and I would die for them (with some other characters) xx

Abby: I really like Eminem.  Yara: I prefer skittles.  Abby: I’m talking about the rapper.  Lev: Why would you eat the wrapper?

Lev: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Abby way.  Yara: Isn't that the wrong way?  Lev: Yes, but it's faster.

Lev: It's locked. You got a lock pick?  Yara: Yeah-  Abby: *kicks in the door*

Abby: Okay, can we all stop saying stupid shit for a moment, please?!  Yara: Alright.  Lev: Hey, I-  Abby: SHUT UP!  Lev: I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED MY SENTENCE!!  Yara: It was bound to be stupid.

Lev: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-  Abby: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~  Lev: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-  Yara, recording: This is so cute.

*Squad is playing Among Us*  Yara: I believe Lev is innocent, I was with them the whole time. Abby, what were you doing?  Abby: Oh, I was just murdering… I mean, nothing!

Lev: Thanks for not telling Yara what happened.  Abby, dumbfounded: I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this.

Abby, to Yara: If Lev doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next pay check.  Lev, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!

Lev: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart?  Yara: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am!  Lev: Mean.

Lev: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…  Yara: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.  Lev: Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said…  Abby: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.

Abby: WHO ATE MY BREAD?!  Abby: I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-  Lev: I did?  Abby: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today Lev.  Abby: *walks away*  Lev:  Lev: She’s gone Owen.  Owen, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in his mouth: Thank you!

Lev: I have a plan.  Abby: I have the hospital and Mel on speed dial.

Lev, on the phone: Uh. . Hey, Mel, i uh, I’ve been stabbed.  ABBY: WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU?  Lev: Wait- You aren’t Mel. Sorry- I didn’t mean to call you-  Abby: NO, WHERE ARE YOU? IM COMING THERE. IM NOT GOING TO LEAVE YOU ALONE AFTER BEING STABBED.

Yara: I'm very disappointed in you, Lev.  Abby: C'mon, don't get mad at Lev!  Yara: Abby, stop telling Lev it's okay for them to punch you! They need to learn not to punch people!  Abby: But I'm not a person!  Lev: Which is why I punched her!

Abby: *walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone*  Yara: Hey, Abby, how was your day?  Abby: *picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Yara* Hell.  Lev, watching this unfold: *whispers* Who hurt you?

Abby: Where’s Lev?  Yara: Around.  Abby: Around?  Abby: You don’t have any idea, do you?  Lev, dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?

Abby: Hey, Lev. Why did the chicken cross the road?  Lev: To get to the other side?  Abby: You were supposed to say “I dunno, why?“  Lev: Uh... fine. I don’t know. Why did it cross the road?  Abby: To get to the idiot’s house.  Lev: ...Ok?  Yara: Hey, Lev. Knock knock.  Lev: No.  Yara: You were supposed to say “who’s there?”  Lev: Fine... let’s get this over with. Who’s there?  Yara: The chicken.  Lev: Abby: Yara: Lev:Listen here you little shits-

Yara: Yesterday, I overheard Lev saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Abby replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

Yara: Abby, just think about this! I’m your hottest friend.  Yara: No, that’s Owen… I’m your nicest friend.  Yara: No, thats Lev... I’m your friend!

Abby: I hate to to tell you this, but one of you was adopted.  Yara & Lev: Yara: Was it Lev?

*Lev is laying on the floor with their eyes closed*  Abby: Hey, are they sleeping or dead?  Yara, messing around: Hopefully dead, I hated them.  Abby, joining it: Yeah, me too.  Lev, sitting up: First of all, fuck you guys.

Lev: Abby, just think about this! I’m your hottest friend.  Lev: No, that’s Yara… I’m your nicest friend.  Lev: No, thats Owen... I’m your friend!

[ghostfrog28]

Y'all, Episode 6 may be my favorite episode, so far at least

holy shit, so much happened in this episode and I loved it so much! This is gonna be a long rant, so just warning ya!

The gang helping Thad study was such a nice part of the episode, I’m hoping Thad passes his exams and gets to be a doctor! Also, Lena teasing Ash about him talking like Denny’s and how they’ve been spending a lot of time together was really cute and funny. Can’t wait for their party night next episode!

The little conversation with Ash and Denny’s in the car was another one of their moments together that I just love seeing. Also, I’m wondering what the context was for Denny’s almost going into work with part of Ash’s uniform lol. And we got more from Brady which I loved to see! He’s one of my favorite side characters, and when Brady brought up that Denny’s is “always talking about” Ash, it’s like when you introduce a friend to your parents or siblings and they just flat out tell them you have a crush on them (Brady gives major older brother vibes) and I can just imagine Denny’s saying “Brady!” In the same whisper yell that Ash did to Lena lol

That phone call with the director lady was difficult to listen to. I was so happy that Ash got the part, but with everything happening? Who knows how that’s gonna work out! And Ash’s voice cracking while he was talking to Denny’s made me wanna cry 😢 Brady coming in with the big bro energy, asking if things are ok and him trusting Denny’s when she says that things are ‘fine’ was really sweet

Brady checking in again, love it. Poor Lin, girl was trying to sleep lol. Also, I like that she warned Denny’s that Lexi was there already because I can’t imagine what would happen if she just went up to the door and heard her in Ash’s room. I agree, she’s getting better but she does have some of her tactics that she’s still using, so I’m not completely over my hate for her, it’s getting there but not quite. Also:

Alexis: I deserve him, don’t I? Don’t I?

Sophie: you may think that, but he didn’t deserve what you did to him, neither did Thad.

5. Now we get to talk to him. Honestly, hearing some more of his pov of the relationship really put into perspective how bad it actually was. Like, Ash, babe, never telling your partner ‘no’ to something cannot end well for either person. Also, I like that we constantly are being his ‘therapist’ cuz honestly, he needs to talk about that emotion baggage he’s been dealing with.

6. the pancakes!! I loved this little callback to the first episode, I knew the moment Denny’s asked Brady to make something before she left to see Ash, that was what it was going to be! Also, the little play fight over both of them eating the food was really cute and funny!

7. THE CONFESSION! THE KISS!!! IT FINALLY HAPPENED AND I LOVED ALL OF IT! Him liking Denny’s since the beginning was so sweet, and all from a little gesture of Denny’s being nice, just because she wanted to! (Also, did they actually, do something or was it just kissing, cuz it sounded like there was a fade out but it could just be me hearing it weird) Them cuddling and watching the sunrise was so cute! I keep re listening to that part! Also, the phone call between Ash and Thad was adorable, just them giggling like a couple schoolgirls about a crush. In my mind, Sophie was just going “you guys are such dorks”

And, you already know I have more art for this!

This may be my favorite outfit and shirt design I’ve made so far, I loved this so much

But yeah, that’s all! Sorry this was a pretty long post and I was ranting for quite a bit, but I just love this series and these characters so much! The big art post is in the works, it’s getting there (slowly lol) but it’ll be worth it!

Can’t wait for what happens next!

bye!

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

Ok, so...

(rant below the cut)

I saw my therapist the week before last. During that appointment, she took a phone call like... while I was actively crying and talking about something. And ok, things happen, right? She apologized profusely but said she had to take the call and I was like of course, cuz I don't know her life. It could have been her husband or her kids or whatever. That's totally fine.

But then last week she cancelled on me day off like two hours before my appointment because she wasn't feeling well and told me to touch base next week to schedule. Totally get that. When you're sick, you're sick.

So I waited until Monday and then I emailed her, "Just checking in, hope you're feeling better." She responded that she was and asked if I wanted to meet at 2PM the next day (Tuesday, yesterday) and I said "Sure!" She said "See you tomorrow", I figure we're all set. I let my boss know, she knows I've been really stressed and I told her I needed to make that appointment work because it had already been two weeks and I needed to talk to my therapist, right?

So I take half a day off work yesterday, go home and log on five minutes before 2. It says she's not online yet, which happens. Sometimes she's taking a lunch, sometimes she's away from her computer, no big deal. So I wait.

At 2:15, I sent her an email saying, "Just checking in. Hope everything is ok."

At 2:30, I called her office. They didn't answer.

At 2:45, I called her office again and the receptionist said, "You're not on her schedule, I don't know what to tell you. She's probably in session."

At 3, I just kind of slowly closed everything down and gave up.

She emailed me back last night at 5:18 apologizing. I guess it didn't get put on her electronic calendar and she got sidetracked by a project and... like again, things happen. I get it.

But then she offers me Thursday at 3. I tell her I'm really not comfortable taking more time off work this week. So she offers me Tuesday at 3. My boss is going to be out of the office and I need to be here. So she offers me the 30th at 3. I already have an appointment that morning and I'm missing half a day to deal with that. So she offers me the 4th at 1. I tell her midday is really difficult for me, which is why we typically schedule late afternoon.

And she just responded, "I completely understand" and nothing else.

Am... like.. is she giving up? Is she done offering times now? I don't know what to do from here.

[theunsweetenedtruth]

On Your Mind (5)

Summary: The aftermath to the end of Nereyda and T'Challa.

Previous Part

Pairing: T'Challa x Nereyda (OC) Word Count: 2,897 Warnings: None A/N: Originally written in 2018

T'Challa sat in the council meeting, not hearing what was going on around him. His mind was on Nereyda; he couldn't understand where things went wrong. Ok. That wasn't true. He knew where things went wrong. But the fact that she wasn't in the palace, home with him, made him feel off. It was like missing a limb. Or his heart.

He perked up when Erik slipped in the double doors and hastened to end the meeting. "I will think about what you have presented here and will give my decision next meeting." The Elders saluted him and began to exit. Ramonda gave him a perplexed look as she left. He ignored her. She played a large role in Nereyda's departure. He wasn't sure what Ramonda had said to her but it didn't matter; Ramonda knew how he felt but it was clear to T'Challa that she was more concerned with what she thought the country should be under T'Challa's ruling, rather than the vision he had for his own rule.

When the doors shut behind the last of the council members and only Erik and him were left, T'Challa spoke. "What's the update?"

Erik took the seat next to him. "She looks okay, decorated the place, got plants and shit." T'Challa's face fell. She was moving on without him, of course she would. Soon, a brave soul would get over the aversion to her former status and she might love again. He wanted that for her but he couldn't imagine not being that person for her. His fists clenched at the thought of another man knowing Nereyda the way he did. Of another man holding her, making love to her, drawing out sighs and moans the way only T'Challa deserved to hear...

"I can tell she's miserable though." Erik's distracted voice broke through his anger.

"What? How?"

Erik held up a finger, typing on his phone. T'Challa grew impatient quickly—surely the reason why Erik was taking his sweet time was to get on his nerves. Finally he looked up from what must have been an intriguing message. "She has bags under her eyes, which means she hasn't been sleeping, her hair's looks like shit," Erik counted on his fingers. "Plus her fine ass friend been telling me what's going on with her. Says she hadn't left the house since you went there that one night."

T'Challa wasn't happy to hear Nereyda wasn't taking care of herself but he was pleased that she hadn't dropped and forgotten him like he'd feared. He frowned.

"I don't want you getting updates from Nina." He was pissed at her; if she would've minded her business, he could've explained what was happening to Nereyda first.

"Chill, T. She felt really bad after I told her what was really happening." Erik wore a Cheshire grin. "Had to do a little comforting if you know what I mean." T'Challa rolled his eyes. He was done with Erik. He rose from the throne and made his way to the door. "Aye. How long am I gonna have to keep doing this?"

T'Challa turning to his cousin slowly. "This is partly your fault N'Jadaka. If it was for yours and Nakia's scheming, I wouldn't be in this mess with Nereyda."

Erik jumped to his feet. "Nah cuz, don't put that shit on me and Nakia. If you would've been honest with your girl from jump, you wouldn't be in this mess."

T'Challa felt the truth of his words. "You're right. It's my own fault I lost the love of my life." He exited the throne room.

"So the plans for the outreach center are a go." Nakia and T'Challa were seated in his office going over the final plans for the outreach center. The first one would open in Oakland, California, an homage to T'Challa's uncle N'Jobu. This was the reason for his sacrifice.

Between him and Erik—and Nakia in her father's ear—T'Challa has been working hard over the years to bring the idea to the council. They had been thwarted at every turn, sometimes by the elders, other times by his own father. The consensus was that there was a possibility T'Challa wouldn't be fit to rule, citing both the presence of his dora in the palace, and his ideas to use Wakandan resources to help blacks all over the world. The council knew they couldn't control Erik; he was not a viable candidate for king and would make a bigger mess than T'Challa ever could. T'Challa received word that an elder's second in command had approached M'Baku about challenging T'Challa for the throne. Luckily, T'Challa and M'Baku has their own arrangement; M'Baku had no interest in being king but rather desired a voice for his people in Wakandan affairs. The council was looking for someone to challenge T'Challa though; he had to move smarter.

Bringing back Nakia to aid in the plan has quieted some of the discord enough that no one challenged him on challenge day, but T'Challa knew the council could make his life difficult if he didn't stay ahead of their schemes. The public proposal sealed the deal and Nereyda moving out—while not a part of his plan at all—helped to convince the council that he was taking his role as king seriously. When it came time to propose the outreach center, T'Challa had Erik, Shuri, Nakia, and Nakia's father at his back. He had secured M'Baku's vote with a seat on the council, another project he'd had to butter the elders up for.

After the presentation of plans for the outreach center, the history of the treatment of black worldwide and the need of the outreach center in Oakland, the council sat quietly. T'Challa could feel Erik shuffling in frustration. Nakia, to his right was unusually still. Shuri looked bored, ready to get back to her lab and begin planning her classes for the center.

"My king, I'm not so sure this is a good idea or the right time. Your father—"

"My father is no longer here. I am the king now." He glared down the room. "Elders, this is a formality. I have the majority votes already secured and I will be moving forward with the outreach center." T'Challa was upset. These people tried to control his life, expecting him to be a puppet to their machinations. "You have sat here in Wakanda, in your homes benefitting off of what it means to live in a truly free nation. America is not the land of the free for anyone who isn't rich, male, and white. We have the resources to change that, provide aid to the descendants of those we watched be stolen from their homes if you cannot see the need for this outreach center and others to come, I will gladly take your resignation as council member and begin looking for your replacements." He looked each council member in the eye, including Ramonda. He would not back down this time.

"Let's take a vote," M'Baku said cheerfully. And that was the end of that.

"T'Challa?" Nakia's voice broke through his thoughts.

"I'm sorry you asked something?" He tried to stay in the moment. It wouldn't do for him to get distracted when everything he's been working towards was within his grasp.

"I asked if it was alright for us to move forward with plans for the ball next week."

T'Challa modded. "Yes that will be fine. I assume you'll be bringing your young man." He tried to sound formal but amusement coated each word and he struggled to hold back a smile.

"My 'young man'? Who are you, my father?" Nakia joked. "Or my supposed betrothed?"

T'Challa waved her off. "I'm sure you'll be happy to be rid of all the duties being queen comes with." Ramonda, in her excitement over the proposal, had handed queen duties to a reluctant Nakia. She would be resuming them with the end of the "engagement".

Nakia shrugged. "It's not that bad but I'll be happy to have my freedom back. And Ife will be happy to have me to herself again."

T'Challa understood. To be a king or queen was to belong to the people, not always to yourself. While Nakia would've made a great queen, she would not have been happy or able to be her true self. He was glad she was able to escape, and as much as he loved her, was glad Nereyda had escaped that same pressure.

As if reading his mind, Nakia asked, "And your dora? How will she take to the queen duties?" Not for the first time, he thought of Nereyda as queen.

She would be...glorious. Giving, understanding, she would probably take up a platform, like other queens, but something with more substance, a problem that most well off Wakandans didn't think about. The people would love her because she would care for them and put their interests first. He was sure of it. But it wasn't a possibility.

"I don't think that will happen at this point. She's moving on with her life and I don't want to be selfish with her anymore." Nakia looked confused. "When I went by her place after the mission, she told me she just wanted to be mine." T'Challa sighed. "I don't want to put her in a place again where she can't be, where she has to be a secret again."

Nakia was thoughtful for a moment. "But who says you have to?" Her face was animated in that way it would be when she was ready for a lecture. "The way you commanded the council about the outreach center, you can do the same with your dora..."

"Nereyda"

"Yes. Nereyda."

T'Challa thought about it. Yes, he could. He realized there was a different weight to being King than being prince. Advocating for the outreach center was his first experience fight the council and he was sure it wouldn't be the last. But would Nereyda even want him after all this time?

"I'm not sure if she still wants to be with me in that way."

"You're the king, the Black Panther. You'll just have to convince her." Nakia's smile was wicked and T'Challa answered with one of his own. He knew exactly what he needed to do.

Nereyda returned to her apartment and huffed out a breath, leaning against the back of the door. After spending over two months in her apartment mourning the loss of her relationship, she decided to get on with her life. She's spent the last week looking into a home to purchase. While she was comfortable in her apartment, it wouldn't do for her goals.

She decided to move forward with her orphanage for young girls. It was something she found passion in, whenever she thought about how different her life could've been had she been given opportunities and education beyond what was offered at the dora House. Being with...him had given her experiences she never thought she'd get. She wanted to teach younger girls to do for themselves. It was okay to want to be taken care of but Nereyda was relishing in an independence shed never experienced. The young girls in her care would know that feeling, and then make their own decisions about men. Or women.

Finding a home to serve her needs was proving to be difficult though. Despite her initial thoughts, real estate agents in the city weren't adverse to working with her. She assumed it was out of pity for her, the ex-lover of the engaged king, but she didn't mind. The agents took a look at the emblem of Bast she was still wearing around her neck and fell over themselves to assist her. Nereyda held back laughter every time; people wouldn't speak to her as the king's dora, but as herself she was equal to them. If her current status worked in her favor, then it wouldn't be the last time she'd throw it in their faces.

She'd spent the day with her chosen agent, a young woman with a kind smile and tight violet curls. They looked at several buildings in her budget, mostly older homes on the edge of the city. They were livable but would need upgrades that Nereyda could take her time doing. She'd gotten into contact with the agency who dealt with newly orphaned children and told them of her plans. They were skeptical but told her she would be allowed to take in a few girls, provided the home she bought was up to standard. Nereyda was determined for this to work.

She still thought about T'Challa, everyday thought about her love for him and how much he had to have loved her. She knew he did love her; there was no way he could have faked that kind of love her showed her. The long nights spent talking, the love making, she put her all into it and he reciprocated with a passion she knew she never wanted to experience with anyone else. She missed him fiercely, felt a constant ache in her chest she tried to work through from being away from him. She wouldn't go back and live life as his mistress though. He would marry Nakia, have children with her. Nereyda didn't want to watch him experience things with Nakia while still calling Nereyda his and her never have those experiences with him. Erik visiting her all those weeks ago made her reevaluate. She wasn't angry at T'Challa, just sad he didn't believe in their love enough to try.

But she was determined to not play second fiddle in his life. Nereyda pushed off the door and went to her bedroom, stripping to her underwear as she went.

"AHHHH!" she screamed out at the appearance of a figure leaning against the headboard on her bed.

"Bitch what's the screaming for?" Nina sat nonchalantly filing her nails as if she hadn't nearly given Nereyda a heart attack.

"What the hell are you doing in my apartment? How did you get in here?"

Nina gave her a look. "Now don't ask silly questions." She gestured to a huge box Nereyda hadn't noticed at the end of bed. "I come bearing gifts."

Curiously, she made her way to the bed and the pretty matte black box with a silver satin bow on top. Lifting the lid, she saw the most gorgeous gold dress. Nereyda's heart beat faster. She knew only one person who would get her something like this and it wasn't Nina. She fingered the see through material reverently before pulling it from the box and holding it against her body.

Nina let out a low whistle. "Damn. I didn't know what was in it or else I would've kept the shit," she joked. Nereyda ignored her and looked in the box. There were gold strappy heels and a card. She laid the dress to the side, reaching for the note. Her hands trembled and she felt weak. She just acknowledged that she loved the man still and now Bast sent her this. The message on the heavy card stock was short:

Tonight, 8pm. Please.

There was no signature but Nereyda's suspicions were confirmed; it was T'Challa's handwriting. Tonight..."Isn't tonight the engagement ball?"

Nina looked up from her phone. "Engagement ball? Girl no. T'Challa and Nakia aren't engaged anymore. You must be living under a rock. It's all anyone can talk about."

Nereyda felt hope swell in her chest, and her body get hot. "Nina, please don't play games."

"I swear. It's not an engagement ball. It's a coronation ball. T'Challa never had one." Nereyda had avoided all news about the ball, expecting it to be a celebration for the happy couple. Things were beginning to make sense. How long had T'Challa and Nakia been broken up? Was that the reason why everyone was being so nice to her? She remembered a vague comment from her landlord about needing a thirty day notice before breaking her lease. Did everyone think T'Challa ended things because of her? Did he end things because of her? Looking at the note still in her grasp and the dress on her bed, Nereyda thought it was a possibility.

But she still had questions. "Where did you get this? When did you see T'Challa?" Nina looked guilty.

"I've been talking to Erik. He's the one who asked me to bring it. I honestly didn't know what was in it."

Nereyda believed her but she wasn't sure about meeting T'Challa at the ball. "I don't know Nina. I don't think I can go. I am just getting back to myself."

Nina rose from the bed and pulled Nereyda into a hug. Nereyda sunk into the larger woman's embrace, tears prickling her eyes. Nina pulled away after a few moments and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Bitch you're going to the ball." She rose a hand at the beginnings of Nereyda's protests. "Even if it's just to hear what he has to say. He owes you an explanation. You should show him what he's been missing while you get it."

Nereyda looked at her suspiciously. "What do you know?" She asked the other dora.

Nina presses her lips together. "I know that if you don't start getting dressed I'm gonna do it for you." She flipped back on the bed, conversation over.

Next Part

[lokiforever]

New teachers at school!!!!

Chapter 5

Jøss!! Jeg kan fortsatt ikke tro at jeg skriver en ekte fanfic! 😂❤️❤️❤️Anyways, nyt!

You guys had breakfast and talked.....

*After the breakfast *

Tom : So.... what are your plans for today?

Y/N : Nothing much, I'll just watch some movies, I guess.... What about you?

Tom : I have to some grading and after that maybe some dusting...

Y/N : I can help you with the grading! After all I'm your teaching assistant.

Tom : Oh, it's fine. Thank you so much!

Y/N : Come on, this is something I can do to help you though it's nothing compared to your help yesterday.

Tom : It was nothing out of the ordinary, dear. Plus, it's my responsibility as your friend and professor.

Y/N : It's truly a blessing to have you as my professor and friend.

Tom : I'm really honored.

Y/N : Now, I am going to garde the papers with you and you will not say no.

Tom : *chuckles * Ok, ok fine!

Tom lifts both of his hands up in mock surrender. You giggle.

Tom : Do you want to sit here in the living room or in my office for the grading?

Y/N : I'm good both ways. You choose.

Tom : Let's sit in the living room then. We sit in my office almost everyday although not in my home one but, you know an office is an office.

You both laughed.

Tom : I have an idea!! What about, I show you around the house first then we'll start grading.

Y/N : Hmmm.... Sounds amazing!

You say with a chuckle.

Tom : Mmhmm.

Beep Beep

Your phone rang.

Y/N : Please excuse me for a moment.

Tom : Sure, take your time!

"Heyyyy" you said. "Hiii!!! I just got home. I thought you were staying at home today?" said your best friend. "Yeah I was, but there was a slight change in plans.... I'm with Tom for the grading and all." " Oh.. so early?" " Now that's a completely different story I'll tell you about it in detail when I get back." you promised. " Ok and good luckkkk" Y/B/F/N said in a playful way. You could almost feel her wiggling her eyebrows. You both giggled. " Byeeeee have fuuunnn" " Byeeeee I'll be back by the evening" you told her. " That's great!!! I have something to tell you!" your best friend said cheerfully. " Can't wait!!! Byee" "Bye bye".

You went back to the living room.

Y/N : Sorry, it was Y/B/F/N.

Tom : It's completely fine. Now let's start, shall we?

Tom said ( start with the house tour not grading) . When you guys were halfway done you saw a library. No wonder, it was big as he loooooved reading. He also had a hidden home theater which you absolutely loved.

Y/N : Wow! A secret home theater, that's amazing, Tom!

Tom : Thank you so much, Y/N. Maybe you would like to watch a movie with me someday whether in the home theater or the actual one?

Wait a minute...........is he asking you out? Nah, maybe it's because of his sweet nature. He just wants to you to watch a movie with him cuz you're his friend....

Right???

Y/N : I would love to!

Tom : Awesome!! Next weekend?

Y/N : Ummm.... Yeah sure!

Tom : Done! Now you have to choose where..

Y/N : Here in your home theater...... Only If you're okay with it!

Tom : Ya sure, I'm good!

Y/N : Ok! I think we should start with the grading now..

Tom : Mmhmm, we should! Let's go!

After that you guys graded the sheets until you got tired and eventually dozed off on the couch.

Tom : I guess he deserves - * he turned his head to look at you, only to find out that you have already dozed off. He chuckled*

When you were 90% asleep you felt Tom standing up. After a minute you felt a blanket being draped over you. He is so cute!!!

After 25 - 30 minutes

Y/N : Stay away from me!!!!! Don't you dare touch me!!!

You wake up, screaming with panted breaths and a layer of sweat over your body. Tom came running towards you, he went to the kitchen to make lunch for you two..

Tom : Hey, hey calm down! Take a deep breath. It was just a nightmare, it's over.

You just nod as your breaths were too heavy to let you say anything. Tom stands up and gets you water.

Tom : Here have some water.

Y/N : Thank you...

You drink the water. After a minute you calm down.

Tom : Do you want to talk about it?

Y/N : It's my horrible nightmares again..

Tom : Again? Do you get those often?

Y/N : Almost

Tom : Well, if you want to talk about it, I'm here, but it's completely fine if you don't!

Y/N : Maybe some other day

Tom : As you wish!

Y/N : Let's continue this grading.

Tom : I already completed it!

Y/N : Really?! How long did I sleep?

Tom : 25 minutes?

Y/N : You completed the grading in 25 minutes?!!!

Tom : Nah, 20...

Y/N : You have a great speed!

Tom : hehe thanks, it's just experience and plus you already helped me do more than half of them barely five to ten sheets were left.

Y/N : Then too...

Tom : Anyways, I was planning on making lasagna for lunch, I hope you are ok with it..

Y/N : I love it, it's one of my favorites!!

Tom : That's amazing!!

Y/N : I'll help you!

Tom :It's fine, I can-

Y/N : I am coming to help you!

Tom : Ok;alright ;fine

You both giggled.

After that you guys started cooking......

Tom : Here taste it!

He gave you a spoonful. And guess what??? He fed you himself cuz you were cutting some veggies for the salad and both of your hands were engaged....

Y/N : Mmmm it's perfect!!!!

Tom : Eheheh

After a few more minutes a loose strand of your hair was coming on your face again and again and it was irritating you and as your hands were occupied, you couldn't really remove it so you just shook your head. Tom saw you struggling and removed it from your face.

Y/N : Thank you so much!

Tom : Ingen fare!!!

(Tom : No problem)

After all sweet little things you guys finally finished cooking.

Tom : La oss begynne å spise!!

( Tom : Let's start eating)

Y/N : Oh, you know Norwegian language as well?? That's amazing!

Tom : Thank you, dear

Y/N : Can I ask you a question...

Tom : Sure, go ahead!

Y/N : How many languages can you speak?

Tom : Ummm......9,but I'm still learning a few...

Y/N : What?!!! 9 languages!!!!????!!!!? I can speak a few but definitely not nine !!

Tom *chuckles *: Mmhmm!

Y/N : Don't you think that it's quite a lot for a single person?!

Tom : Yes.................Maybe

Y/N : 'Maybe' ?!

Tom starts laughing... Hard! Head tossed back with one hand on his stomach. He was looking soooooooo cute!!!!!!! You also started laughing.

( A/N : For the people who know me irl; they know that once I start laughing it's really hard to stop! 😂😂😂)

Tom : Oh Lord!! Hehehe. Let's start eating, the food is getting cold.

Y/N : Hmm..

You take a bite

Y/N : Mmmm it's sooo delicious!!!!! Tom you're such a good cook!!!!

Tom : Merci beaucoup! Je suis honoré

Y/N : Would you please like to translate it cuz you are the one who knows 9 languages not me!

Tom *chuckles*: Thank you so much! I'm honored!!!

Y/N : You're very welcome!

30 minutes after you and Tom finished eating...

Y/N : I guess I should get going now Y/B/F/N must be waiting for me...

Tom : Already??!

Y/N : I really had an amazing time but I have to go!!

Tom : Ok.....

Y/N : Byeee

Tom : Bye Bye and don't forget the movie!!

Y/N : How can I?!

You chuckle and so does Tom.

Tom : I'll drop you

Y/N : It's fine, I'll order a cab

Tom : Please, I insist!!

Y/N : Fine!

Then he drops you off, you guys say your final goodbyes and then he leaves.

*In your apartment *

Y/N :I'm home!!

Y/B/F/N : Oh, hey Y/N!

Y/N : Hiii!!!

You look around and find out that she was definitely searching for something to wear as all of the clothes in her wardrobe were dismantled.

Y/N : What in the nine realms are you doing?!!

Y/B/F/N : I can't find anything to wear!!

Y/N : Are you going somewhere?

Y/B/F/N : Yup for a movie!

Y/N : Alone?

Y/B/F/N: Nope!

Y/N : Then???

Y/B/F/N : With......

Y/N : Professor Jungkook?!!!!

Y/B/F/N:Exactly!!!!!

Y/N : He asked you out??!!!

*********************

🤞🏻��💚💚💚💚🤞🏻

[awesomeaddiewhovian]

I have been on sleeping medication for basically my entire life.

As a kid, I could never fall asleep OR stay asleep, so I was given melatonin. When that stopped working, I was given Benadryl. Eventually I was bounced around to a BUNCH of different prescription medications trying to find something that worked. At one point, I ran out of my medication. I was in high school and dealing with a lot of stuff and was pretty embarrassed to tell my parents that I forgot I needed a refill, so I just went without. This resulted in 5 straight days of consciousness which, for those of you who don't know, is bad.

Really. Really. REALLY bad.

That's when your brain starts dying or eating itself or whatever the fuck. That's when you hallucinate and start "falling asleep" mid-sentence, only to wake up screaming ten seconds later.

Because of this incident specifically, I never allowed myself to run out of my sleeping medication (which I refer to as "sleepers") again.

Then I started having anxiety about running out and not realizing. (Way to go, undiagnosed ADHD!) So I found a backup. A drink called NeuroSleep that can be bought at Walmart and is- essentially- the opposite of an energy drink. I double checked it with every doctor I was seeing and they all said it looked fine, so I had a backup.

Fast forward more than a decade, I still struggle with sleep, but in a different way. I can sleep VERY consistently because I've grown used to taking my meds every single night at a specific time. However, in the morning, my body doesn't want to get out of bed. I am awake in my mind, saying to myself over and over and over "get up, man! You'll be late to work! Get UP!" But my body will not listen.

Then I ran out of my sleepers. No big deal, I always have two full bottles of NeuroSleep just in case. This is PLENTY because like two or three chugs and I'm out like a light. So I take a few chugs, maybe a few more than 2 or 3 cuz I REALLY needed to sleep that night. And when I woke up the next morning, I woke up in a different world.

Having chugged this drink at the same time I take my medicine, 9:30pm, I was more than a little surprised to wake up without the use of my many MANY alarms. Instead, it was 7am and I woke gently. It was peaceful. The sun was barely rising and the sky was an incredible shade of lavender that I thought was lost to me. My mind was quiet for what felt like the first time in my life and my body moved when I told it to.

I distinctly remember having the thought sweep over me: "Oh. This is what it's meant to be." There was such a burning joy in my chest, but instead of searing my heart, it settled there comfortably. It helped me in a time that I didn't know if help could be found.

This isn't to say I don't have issues sleeping anymore. I am in the process of being tested for narcolepsy and have a CPAP machine to use every night. But still to this day I don't take any sleepers. Still to this day, though I don't often need it, I have two bottles of NeuroSleep in the back of the fridge. Still to this day, the picture of the purple sky is the background on my phone. And still to this day, I have never seen a world as beautiful as the one I see when I wake up gently and of my own volition.

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either

[jodilin65]

THURSDAY, MARCH 31, 1994 Tom’s finishing up dinner. He made us pork chops and tater tots.

Had a great talk with Dad today.

That’s about all that’s happening.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 30, 1994 Oh, this is just lovely. Next door, there’s a car in their driveway as well as a van on their front lawn. There’s a ball game going on now that includes other kids who don’t live there. They’re all dressed up, so hopefully they’re going somewhere. Maybe Lenore had her 5th kid or it’s cuz Easter’s coming, but I’m sure it’ll be a zoo till it gets really hot.

Why me? There are tons of elderly couples on this street, so why couldn’t they live next to me what with these houses so close? Why did God have to put Mormons next to me? What’s he trying to tell me? It’ll be years before we move, so how many kids will be there then? 10?

Well, for now I have the radio really loud, cuz if they aren’t going, it’ll be crazy there all day. Also, if they’re going to have company for a while, they’ll keep their dog outside 24/7.

I’m going to go out back and see if I hear anything out there.

Later…

I think I’ve finally figured out why I haven’t gotten any letters from Bob. He probably never had it written down and with him and can’t remember it. I called Kim today who said he made remarks about possibly sending it to the wrong place. While she was on the line, I called and got the PO Box number. Tomorrow I’ll mail out a letter to him. I enclosed an address label which I stuck on the letter as well as the envelope and also my phone number. Hope to hell he gets it and I get a reply.

Kim says there’s still some snow and they’re due for more. Ha, ha!!! Tammy says it’s 40° there and they’re firing up the woodstove. Ha, ha!!! Today it’s 85° and I’ve had the EC on all day.

Luckily, they shut up next door as quickly as they started. I have a good feeling that the hotter it gets, the less I’ll hear of them. They really are quiet 98% of the time. It’s just the old memories of the NHA that the ruckus triggers. If I began with the NHA all the way on up to this place and did a chart of the noise percentage, it’d look like this: NHA - 100% noisy, Vista Ventana - 80% noisy, Crystal Creek - 60% noisy, here - 15% noisy. If it weren’t for this fan, though, I’d be woken up 7 out of 10 times. This fan’s great, although it’d be hopeless in the NHA. Even hopeless in the Vista Ventana cuz the whole building shakes. The kids shook the building in the NHA and in the Vista Ventana, the butch rocked the place. Andy’s thunderous footsteps too.

Kim says she’ll be sending a letter soon. Cool, Book of Letters #7 needs it. Of course, I love getting letters, anyway.

Tom will be home very soon and soon, I’ll be hitting the sack.

Gotta go set the VCR.

Later…

OK, I set it for Unsolved Mysteries, Law & Order, and Now. It looks like for once Law & Order could be a new one. Unsolved is a repeat as usual, but they sometimes have updates on old cases. Now will always be new.

I left Tom a note asking him to please tape a movie for me on my old shitty VCR in his bedroom. The nice thing about it is, though, that if you record something on it, it’ll play fine on the living room VCR. If you play it back on the other one, it looks and sounds like it’s under water.

God, it’s warm in here. I’ve had the EC blaring up high all day and it reads 82° in the living room. It’s cooler in my room, though. That’s where there’s a lower, longer awning outside one of my windows where the sun faces west.

Damn. I forgot to call the Civic Plaza for more information about seeing the Judds, or whichever one’s going to be there. Tomorrow I will, as this won’t be happening till April 9th and 10th. It’s not a Phil Donoghue talk show, I guess, but a women’s expo.

TUESDAY, MARCH 29, 1994 Not much happened yesterday. I fell asleep at 5 PM, therefore, I couldn’t see the look on Tom’s face when he walked into his room. I straightened it all up.

I forgot to mention that I tried to call Jessie in W. Springfield. Both numbers I tried were wrong. I called information and there’s no Jessie or JS in the whole Springfield area. She either moved or has a phone in someone else’s name now.

I tried to call Cassandra, my old therapist in Deerfield. I got her machine and I left a message as well as my number.

Tom and I went out for almost two hours. I got my meds and 3 journals for $20.75. Now I have a total of 65!

Tom and I are out back now. Boy, is it hot!

No mail from Bob. Maybe he doesn’t have my address written down with him in jail and he can’t remember it correctly.

Andy told me that Michael Jackson joke yesterday and it was pretty funny. What do Michael Jackson and J.C. Penny have in common?

They both have little boy’s pants half off.

Another one goes: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

A Lickolotopus.

MONDAY, MARCH 28, 1994 Yesterday was lots of fun and I broke another “bed record.” For the first time yesterday, Tom and I were able to have full-scale penetration. It felt really nice, even though I could never cum by that alone with no stimulation. It really makes me feel more of a woman and less different, although, we’d both be fine if I never could’ve done it. Oral sex is my favorite and it always will be.

He’ll be getting up any time now and Andy’s off today. We may get together.

That’s all that’s been going on. Tom and I also have great talks and enjoy spending time together. It’s so amazing how this just keeps on getting better and better.

I have to call for my meds refill and that’s about the only thing I absolutely need to do today.

I basically give up, as far as getting any mail from Bob. I guess he’s a closed chapter in my life. For now, it feels that way.

Later…

Tom’s up now and he’s making us Hamburger Helper now. He’s quickly going to run to the store to pick me up cigarettes.

Doesn’t feel like it’s going to be cool out today. Earlier when I went to put the garbage out back it wasn’t too bad. Maybe I can get some color today. Then again, I’ll probably wait till I can swim. It’s too boring sunning and just sitting out there without being able to swim.

I have to go check the Hamburger Helper now, so I’ll write more later.

Later…

The Hamburger Helper was so good. Tom’s in the shower now and I’ll probably do some typing.

SUNDAY, MARCH 27, 1994 For the first time in my life, I’m letting someone read a whole entire journal. Yup, I’m letting Tom read the story in #61 (lesbian romance). He’ll die laughing, I’m sure.

Andy tried telling me I oughta publish some of my writing. Maybe do a short story for Echo magazine which is a gay magazine. Nope. Don’t think so. See, when I sit back and read whatever I wrote, I like it and understand it. However, I’m afraid others will just laugh. They haven’t yet, but I guess I’m just paranoid.

I went to bed at 3:30 PM and while I slept, Tom read it. Well, I guess he did. He said he was going to, but I can’t ask him now cuz he’s asleep.

If they’ve played their music across the street, I never heard anything. It’s been quiet since they played outdoors in the garage behind their house last Sun. That was probably a birthday party.

Evie and David sent an Easter card to “Jody” and Tom. How sweet, although no one ever spells my name right. Either way it’s spelled, I hate the fucking name, so who cares?

Andy left a message to call him cuz he has a great Michael Jackson joke. When I did try to call it was too late.

Got a postcard from my dad today which I copied into #57. Still nothing from Bob or Kim.

The weather was pretty shitty yesterday with rain. It was damp and yucky, but it cleared off. By Monday it’ll be back to the 80s.

SATURDAY, MARCH 26, 1994 So, what’s been going on here in Arizona? Oh, not much. In April I may meet Naomi Judd. She’s to be at the Civic Plaza with Phil Donoghue and some other actress whose name I can’t remember. It’ll probably be a long line, but I guess you get to talk to her briefly and get a picture taken with her and an autograph. I may check it out if she’s not here while I’m in Disneyland.

Still no mail from Bob or anyone else.

I spoke to Tammy who tried calling last night. It figures I’d miss her call. They’re expecting 2” of snow. Ha, Ha!

THURSDAY, MARCH 24, 1994 I just left a message on Andy’s machine. He called me last night at 1 AM, but I had the ringer off figuring no one was going to call so late. When the hell are they going to stop fucking up his schedule and put him on 2nd shift?

Anyway, I’m going to go now to watch more of the shows I taped, so bye for now.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 23, 1994 I’m still up and Tom’s in the shower now getting ready for work.

I just finished helping him with the bills. He writes out the checks, then copies the check number and the check amount onto a piece of paper. I put the bill and check in their envelopes, then stamp it, and stick his address label on it.

What else is going on right now? Oh, not much. Just bumming around till I fall asleep. I’m going to soon have coffee and have a cigarette. Just what I need, huh? When it comes to trying to quit smoking, I never fail to fail. I quit trying to quit. Whatever will be will be and I’ll be a smoker forever, regardless of wanting to or not.

Later…

Got up at 5:00 today. When Tom came home I surprised him with a spaghetti dinner. He loved it. I even surprised myself. For someone who can’t cook, it sure came out yummy. See, I am sort of old-fashioned and there is a little tradition in me, as modern as I am.

I still haven’t gotten any letters from Bob. If I don’t in a month, then I give up. To hell with ever hoping my parents will ever write me, either. It seems they only write once a year.

I taped my shows, but Unsolved Mysteries wasn’t on due to some special, and Law & Order was a repeat.

TUESDAY, MARCH 22, 1994 I typed a letter to my parents, and still no letter from Bob. Kim got hers, so is there that one in a million chance that someone’s working there that doesn’t like me and has intercepted his mail to me? I doubt it. I mean, Bob would write to me, and he even told Kim he sent a second letter to me right after they had their visit. Maybe he wrote it right after their last bi-weekly mail run. Tom says that’s how it is in the military. Someone will get mail only every other week, but when they do, they get 4 or 5 letters. I hope this is the case.

I typed Kim a letter and played some card games. What do I want to do now? I have no idea. I would like to write more, but I’ve run out of things to write about. Guess I’ll have to think of another writing project for times like this, huh?

Later…

Had enough TV for a while, so I think I’ll go listen to music. After, I’ll try conking out. Before I do, though, let me just say that I’m so proud of myself. I made the best chicken wings ever. This time I not only put margarine on it but also garlic salt. It made the meat part cook better and more tender. Also, the skin was nice and crispy.

Well, till later or tomorrow!

Later…

I think it’ll be a while before I conk out.

Been meaning to mention the weirdest, yet pretty cool thing. I swear I hear birds chirping during the middle of the night. It’s the strangest thing. I’ll have to ask Tom about it, as I wonder what kinds of birds could be doing this and why. They certainly don’t do this in Massachusetts or Connecticut, unless there’s sunlight.

I just upped and threw on the EC to bring fresh air in. I love how it brings in the smell of the orange blossoms. They don’t really smell of orange, though, otherwise I’d hate it, cuz I hate both the smell and the taste of orange. Now it’s great in here after only a few seconds. It freshens the air quicker and better than opening up the place on a very windy day. It also filters out pollen. I’ve been tight lately and this really helps cuz if I didn’t know better, I’d swear I was outside in the fresh air right now.

I just heard Tom cough. I wonder if he’s up. He’ll probably stay in bed till 6:00 or 7:00 anyway.

It’s getting chilly in here so I’ll shut off the EC soon. My breathing’s much better now.

So, am I going to get a letter from Bob today, or what? I sure hope so.

I hope Fran decides to try calling me back when I’m awake and not busy. Maybe I’ll hear about Bob’s picture. He’s getting a very nice picture of a Mexican girl. When Andy was here, he brought the picture to send to him. Someone left it behind at Denny’s. Just to keep track, here are my “notes” on her. I wouldn’t want to get her confused with Sabrina. Andy named her Connie Wells. She’s 28, lives alone across the street from me, is a secretary at a lawyer’s office, has no kids, is from Texas, has 3 sisters and 2 brothers, and moved here when she was 18. If I mentioned anything else in my letter about her to Fran, then I forgot. I just said that I told Connie all about him and she liked what she heard. With my luck, he’ll say he wants to write to her and really mean it this time. As stupid as he is, he’ll never buy it if I give a million reasons why she needs to get her mail here. I could try saying, if it comes up, that she just got involved with someone very very jealous of her even having a long-distance pen pal, but I doubt it’ll work. Maybe I oughta bring it up before he does in my next letter to him. This way it’ll sound less of a cover-up excuse if he asks for an address.

Damn, in 7 hours I’ve written 14 pages! I’ve been in my writing mood, so I remembered the little stuff to write about for now.

The lettuce is growing, but the carrots are taking their sweet time.

Later…

Tom and I went to Petsmart earlier. I got more pellets and the same plastic ball I had when I had the two mice. So far, he doesn’t like it like the mice did. He just sits there. I guess it’s a little too small for him.

I also got two journals.

When Tom went to the grocery store while I was asleep, he got some sticks of different colored clay. I’ll have to come up with some clever idea for them.

I also got a birthday card for Dad.

Fran left a message and I called him back. He wants to move out here. What else is new? I told him about Connie and he never did mention Bob’s picture.

MONDAY, MARCH 21, 1994 I awoke at 4:00 once again. Late last night, till 7:00 this morning, I sort of felt lousy. Due to the rain, which I’m not as used to anymore since that’s a rare occasion here, I felt shitty. I was very very tight.

Last night, though, I went to print out address labels for my parents and Kim, but the printer fouled up on me. Therefore, I handwrote 12 envelopes with 12 different labels they haven’t seen yet. I do believe I mentioned this, come to think and remember it.

Fran called today before I woke up. Tom answered his call, then he left a message. I tried calling him twice but he was busy, so he’s going to have to call me. Also, if he gets me, he does. If he doesn’t, he doesn’t.

At about 5:00 this afternoon Tom and I went to JB’s for dinner. It was good.

Just as we were leaving, they were playing, or so I thought, across the street. Very loud. It was still going on at 7:30 when we got in, so I called. His mother answered and the weird thing was that where she was was quiet. I guess the house behind her was playing in their garage, as there was a party. That was cool, and she sounded nice. When I hung up I put my music on and turned it off at 8:45 and it was quiet. That was easy enough to deal with.

So afterward, I watched TV, typed letters, played my computer card game, and ate more. I tried to do some scanning, but I couldn’t get it to work to save my life.

I hope I get Bob’s letter today. Kim called yesterday and she had just gotten a letter from him. We both never got that first one he wrote us both a few weeks ago. Guess we never will get it. Kim said he wrote and sent me a letter the same day he sent hers.

Later…

Between April 17th and 22nd, we’ll be going to Disneyland for 1-2 nights. However, somewhere in July or August, we’ve decided that Vegas would be a great place to be married.

It’s weird, yet fine with me, that I don’t look as white as these pages. Why? Who knows. I haven’t exactly been out in the sun these days.

I also forgot to mention something else for about a week now. According to the DES book, yes we possess higher chances of fertility and miscarriages, but they also made it sound like it’s very far from impossible. Still don’t know if I’ll want to try in ‘96, but we’ll see, as it’s still quite a while from now. Also, Tom and I are less convinced that my ear has anything to do with the DES and surer that I do ovulate. The book, along with the doctor, mentioned thinner, runnier discharges mid-cycle. Well, I most certainly have that.

I’ve got a few things I want to mend and hem on my new sewing machine. Let’s see, what do I want to do? A pair of panties, my white shorts, and I know there’s more. Oh yes, the pockets of my cut-off jeans.

Later…

Fell asleep at 5:30 this morning. Got up at noon, then fell back asleep an hour later till 5:00.

When Tom got home he tried to scan my journals and even he’s having trouble with it, so something’s wrong.

I may have mentioned a while back that they’re eliminating Tom’s job at AMEX, so he put in for another job at another department. If he gets it, he’ll work 8-hour shifts for 5 days a week.

Anyway, our trip to Disneyland may have to be pushed ahead or back a little, but we are going.

Tomorrow at 10:00 he has an appointment with the mortgage company about that $65,000 loan.

I’m recording the Oscar Awards now, but for the most part, it’ll be boring.

SUNDAY, MARCH 20, 1994 Earlier Tom and I were talking about possible dates to be married. I said that in a way I wish it were now 1995, then we could go for April 9th, the day we met. So, eventually, he came up with an idea. He asked me, “When was the first time we went in the middle?”

I thought at first he meant when he got in there, finally. Well, he meant orally, as sex is sex, and sex comes in all ways and forms of variety. I looked back and he “got it in there” on January 12th, but the oral part was either July 28th, 29th or 30th. I think it was the 30th.

What type of wedding we’ll have and where is still a mystery. We both agree on one thing, though. Neither of us wants a huge wedding. Andy said he’s definitely going to be there, which is great. He went on and on about how great Tom and I are together and jokingly asked to be the bridesmaid and dress up as either Stevie or Madonna.

I finally got my last order of address labels and I really like them a lot. I already filled out the order form for labels for Tammy and Bill for their anniversary, even though that’s not until May 25th. I’m ordering them cat labels. I should’ve gotten those, rather than the gold-trimmed ones for myself. Anyway, I went ahead and ordered a set of these cat labels for myself. In August for my parent’s anniversary, I’ll order them a set of who knows what style and design.

My dad’s birthday is only about 15 days away. What shall I send him? Just a card as usual? How old is he going to be? I think he’ll be 63.

Tom’s mom gave me a bag of magazines. He was at his parent’s house while I was asleep. They really were of no use to me, but it was nice of her. There were two animal posters that I put up on the bulletin board. Also, two subscription forms I used for Nervous and Scott. There was a poster of a tarantula and that’ll go to Nervous.

The neatest thing she gave Tom to give to me were pastel chalk-like things. I did a fairly decent picture of a table with a bowl of fruit and a vase of flowers. Behind the table is a chair. Behind the table and chair is a big huge window with curtains. Outside the window, I drew mountains and the sky.

Later…

I just tried to print out address labels for Kim and my parents, but I fucked up somehow. So, I addressed them by hand which I also don’t mind doing. I used all different colors. There are about 12 address labels that Kim and my parents haven’t seen yet, so I gave them each one. Their next 12 letters will have different address labels.

I watched part of a movie I taped last night. So far, so good. Now I think I’ll listen to music for a while.

SATURDAY, MARCH 19, 1994 Boy, was I tired. I slept nearly 11 hours and didn’t get up until 4 PM today.

Last night was fun. Andy came over and did his laundry at 7:30. Tom didn’t get in till 9:00 and I was worried. He worked overtime. We were all laughing and joking and telling old and funny stories.

Still no letter from Bob. This makes me feel like someone’s intercepting his mail.

Tom’s working on the back room right now, and I’m kind of bored.

THURSDAY, MARCH 17, 1994 I just called Gina who remembered my voice and name after a couple of months. I asked if she could play One for One. I don’t know who does it, but I know Linda did it in the early 70s. I love the guitar in this guy’s version.

So anyway, here’s the news about Bob. Kim called me to tell me she saw Bob. He’s been transferred yet a third time. From Franklin County to Walpole, and now to MCI Concord in the Boston area. Who knows what MCI stands for? Must be Massachusetts Corrections Institute or something.

As she saw, and to no surprise, Bob looks terrible. Who wouldn’t in jail? He does have an appeal going through, but if it works, it’ll take quite some time. Hey, what else is new? But he said that even his lawyer swore up and down that he’d get off. He can’t get calls, but he can make them as long as they’re collect. He can also write and get letters. If I write to him, they don’t read the letter, but they do open the envelope, naturally, to be sure nothing’s in the envelope that’s not supposed to be. Kim said she sent us both letters a couple of weeks ago, but it’s going to take time. They only pick up mail from there every other week. Hopefully, I’ll get his letter within a few days, but he’ll get my letters faster than I’ll get his. Kim said that he’ll still get the letter I just sent to Walpole. Also, in his letter, there’ll be more information as well as his booking number.

If there’s any news that’s good that eases our fears, it’s that his one cellmate’s his age. Also, there’s been no abuse from the guards or any other inmate. True to what Tom said, he’s bored with tons of free time.

Is Gina going to fucking play my request, or what? She’s done this before and so far she’s played 3 other requests and they didn’t seem to come before mine. Fuck her then, if she doesn’t play it. I’ll request it from another DJ if I have to.

I’m going to go watch TV now and soon hit the sack.

Later…

Well, Gina did play my request, but I sure did not expect to hear me singing first. No wonder she asked me to sing a little of it. I thought it a little strange that she wouldn’t know the song, therefore, I had to sing some of it.

Tom got home a little while ago. Now he’s eating.

They’re playing now across the street and I can very barely hear it! I’m leaving him a thank you note tomorrow.

Later…

I just finished typing up the last letter of the day. Got a few letters going out. To my parents, Kim, Fran and Andy’s nasty customer.

Tom and I talked more about getting married. We’re still not sure of a month, date, or where. We discussed the pros and cons of getting married here, as well as in Vegas.

I’m surer that I want to marry Tom more than he’s sure I’m sure. I think he’s just jumping the gun, though, worrying about too many what-ifs, even though that’s perfectly understandable. I went through all my what-ifs too. Like, what if we get divorced like almost everyone else does? But, life’s about taking chances. His basic concern is that he’s positive about two things that he swears will happen and how I’ll feel about them and deal with them. He swears I’ll fall in love with a woman and it’ll be mutual. He’s not so much afraid I’ll leave him, but will it make me wish I weren’t married to him? I said I’d tell them it’s too late and that I’m taken. He says these words may be hard to stick by, but this can happen to him as well as anyone else. If this happens I’ll deal with it as best I can. Yes, I know I swore I’d never have a relationship or move here, but no woman’s going to love me. Not one I’d love back. As gay as I always have been and always will be, this isn’t meant to be. If it were in my cards to be with a woman, then I would’ve been. The relationship was, after all, meant to be, but not with a woman. Otherwise, Tom would be a woman. Anyway, it’s human nature to be attracted to multiple people, although Tom’s 100% sure I’m going to fall in love. Tom said this happened to him with his first wife and he had to go through the “Hey, I’m already committed” stage. I guess it was the type of love where he didn’t want to leave his wife, nor did he want to sleep with this other woman. I guess it’s just Murphy’s Law.

The other thing he swears will happen is that I’ll no longer get SS checks eventually and will make the same, if not more than he does, and that’s all wonderful with him, but what he fears is me wanting to venture back out on my own with the dough.

I’d only leave him if he turned out to be a no-good jerk. However, if I made not a penny or a million bucks, what’s that got to do with us? That won’t change my love for him. I want to share any victories I have or money I make with him. Not alone. I just want us to do our best, take one day at a time and hope it is forever.

Now, what the hell was that? I just heard some knocking sound, but I can’t tell where it’s coming from. Oh well, I’m going to go and watch TV.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16, 1994 Wow! Have I been having a fan-fucking-tastic day or what?! I may be interrupted by a call from Andy, but for now, I’ll get as far as I can. First of all, when I got up today at 11:00, I finished something I began last night. On 20 pieces of computer paper, I’ve done different abstract designs with the watercolor paints. Yup, it’s getting easier and I’m getting used to it little by little. I did do a cactus and a palm tree, but I mainly did designs like rainbows and similar stuff like that. Where did I put it when I finished? In the boarded-up window in the living room. Before the garage was built, you could look out at the window to W. Weldon. It looks so good there along with my collector’s plates.

Andy was going to come over here and do his laundry, but instead, he fell asleep with a headache, so maybe Friday. They’re remodeling the laundry room where he lives.

Tom sprayed out the room that’s part of the garage where the dryer is and gave me a spare key.

Got yet another set of address labels today and two more to go. They all should be here by Saturday.

The city came, free of charge, to paint the block wall that someone painted on. I haven’t seen it yet, though.

I have yet to get to the great news and the funny news, but I will soon.

Later…

Well, Andy’s been on the phone now for a while, so I’ll just wait till I hear from him. He wants me to read him the weird letter he wanted me to type to a very snotty customer.

I called and talked to Dad today. He sounded great and Ma was out playing bingo.

I also called Tammy who was really pissed and is having more problems with Lisa’s ex-friend Stacey. I guess Stacey beat up Lisa at school or tried to. Lisa’s afraid and has to be escorted to classes. Bill called telling the principal that he’d better guarantee her safety…or else! Tammy said she wishes she could get her hands on this 11-year-old and that she wished I could call her. I did and said what she told me to say - that Stacey better keep her hands to herself or else she won’t have any hands or mouth. I told Tammy, too, that if trouble persists, she can give me their address and I’ll send catalogs and whatever to them in NPN envelopes. I can also send them weird letters and when they see the Phoenix postmark, they’ll be thoroughly confused trying to figure out who hates them all the way from Phoenix.

It hit 87º here and that wonderful news is still yet to come!

Later…

Andy’s got company, I just remembered, so I read him the letter on his VM.

Tom should be home soon, but first I think he’s stopping off for some groceries.

OK, here’s my good news. Just as I was finishing up painting, I had the doors open, when there was a big boom for the second time. Luckily it wasn’t nearly as loud this time around. Then, fire trucks and cruisers went heading down towards that same alley from Claredon St. People came out to see what was up. Same with the heavy metalling teen across the street and 3 of his buddies. He asked if I knew anything, then we got to talking. Once we hit the music subject, I told him my honest feelings about it. He then said they practice every Thursday and gave me his number, saying that if it ever got too loud to call.

Great! And he did sound sincere enough, although I will still just wait and see.

I also had a nice chat with Lenore next door. Yup, they’re Mormons. She’s going to drop kid #5 anytime now, and they home-teach their kids. That explains why they’re always home. These people must have bucks to support so many kids, and how they all fit into a 3-bedroom house, beats me. She says she hates the heat here and plans to spend the whole summer in Idaho where she’s from. Dean will fly to her every so often. I asked her if she ever heard my music and she said no and asked if I could hear their piano. Nope, but even if I did, that wouldn’t bother me.

How do they fit a piano in such a small house?

TUESDAY, MARCH 15, 1994 Oh no, here I go again thinking of a kid. Where are these goddamn urges coming from? Especially when I know damn good and well it’d be the worst thing for me. For several reasons. Oh well, all I can do is fight it and ignore it. A baby isn’t in my cards. Not even if I weren’t sterile.

I didn’t get up today till 11:15, so I’ll probably be up till 3:00 or 4:00 just vegging.

Later…

There was a catfight outside a little while ago, but in the meantime, Tom and I had the best talk ever about us getting married and having a kid. Now I feel like I can easily deal with daily thoughts to have one, even though they’re not daily. They’re about 5-10 days out of the month. We’re going to discuss a date tomorrow, but we’re both so sure. I never thought I could want it to be forever and have that person want that, too. I never think about or worry if it’ll end in a year, or 5 or 10. All I know is one day at a time and how I feel right now. We’re also both trying to keep an open mind to any possibilities such as having a kid or whatever. We won’t say I won’t and we won’t say I will have a kid, but 1996 is the year we’ll think about it seriously. We’re not against those who have kids before, during or after marriage, but whether I do or don’t, 1996 is a good year to decide, although I still have mixed emotions about it and probably always will. Plus, there’s still a 90-something percent chance that I may be sterile.

Well, it’s off to bed now.

Later…

Got up at 11:00 today, then Tom and I went to the library. We didn’t look for the article, cuz the more we thought about it, the more we figure they won’t have it. Greenfield’s not a huge enough paper.

We did get a DES book. I only scanned through it quickly, but it looks like DES-related cancers aren’t as bad as I thought. However, sterility is most certain. If not, a miscarriage is. In a way, even though I’m sure a kid’s not in my cards, this is a bummer, cuz it’s taking away my options and freedom of choice for 1996.

After the library, he got a haircut which looks very nice. I went into Ross’s clothing store while he was getting his hair cut. For a total of $23, I got a melon-colored denim vest and a short sleeve sundress. At the hair salon, I got a bottle of that detangler.

From there Tom and I went to a buffet. The food would’ve been good if it weren’t cold. After eating we came home.

Later…

Tom called the mortgage company and he set up an appointment for Tuesday.

Right now he’s watching a video of Wendy’s vacation back in New Jersey and New York.

I took Piggy out back for a while and we sat in the swing. Now I think I’ll go sit out back for a while.

MONDAY, MARCH 14, 1994 I was just talking with Andy and we were discussing ways to keep out of trouble, yet still have some fun.

We just left Ellie a message whom we’ll want to see some night. Also, I wouldn’t be too surprised if Rosemarie was still there and I’d like to leave a note on her car. I wonder if Mark and Robert are still there, but this I highly doubt. I’m sure Scott moved a long time ago, too. People who make so many enemies so fast tend to move a lot.

I just had an idea. A good one, too. It’s been about the summer of ‘92 since I’ve copied conversations from tapes in here in script form. I can take Tom’s microcassette recorder, record some stuff, then put it in here. This thing can also rewind and fast forward while the play button is down. The old little portable cassette player I used to use for this is in the computer room and it’d be a pain to bring it in here.

Later…

Before I do some script form convos, and before Tom comes home, let me update the day’s events. Actually, it begins shortly after I last wrote.

I must’ve had massive gas, cuz my stomach was throbbing. It was pretty weird and a bit scary too. It all began when I sat down to watch TV. First I could feel it, then I looked down and my lower right side of my stomach was literally throbbing and pulsing. I was very nauseous too, and at one point almost certain I was going to puke, but luckily I didn’t have to. Is it something I ate? My meds? PMS? Tension cuz of the assholes across the street? Plus, I know it isn’t going to let up for another two months. Once these people start, they don’t stop. Next Thursday - Sunday afternoon they’ll be up to the usual shit.

Am I going to drop to my knees again and beg God to stop it? Nah, he isn’t done letting me listen to other people’s noise. Every weekend, I’ll just have to feel like and be reminded of apartment living. It’s almost like something up there’s taunting me with it. The more I want peace and quiet the more noise it throws at me. Not a peep, though, from next door. There’s no way they could’ve been home last weekend. No way at all.

Kim called with Bob’s address. Guess it is Cedar Junction prison in Walpole, bordering Boston. She’s going to try to see him at the end of the week. Tomorrow I’ll be sending off a letter and she’ll be doing the same. I sure hope he gets it.

Andy had a weird encounter with a customer at work, but I’ll write about it after I have a cigarette.

Later…

OK, so about Andy’s customer. He overheard a man and a woman talking. The woman said, “So, how was your visit with Jodi?”

The man said, “This is the second time and this time we talked a lot more. She really opened up and seemed so much happier.”

Andy said he had no gray hair. Also, we only saw each other once, but it sure was weird. He said he almost asked the man if his name was Larry.

SUNDAY, MARCH 13, 1994 Last night I fell asleep at 1:30 and awoke with upper stomach pains at 5:00. I’ve never really had upper stomach pains before and Tom said it could’ve been heartburn. I don’t know, but at least I’m better now. I fell back asleep at around 7:00 and got up just after 11:00.

Yesterday I began to be aware of my period on its way, so I’ll be dealing with that really soon.

Later Tom and I will be going grocery shopping. I’m not really looking forward to that, and today it’ll be mobbed.

It’s nice out today, but very breezy. I like that, though.

Even though I have an Abba CD on now, it’s quiet outside. I don’t think they’re home next door.

Last night I made Tom a tape of Sting and Meat Loaf with the new tapes. One of them, anyway.

Later…

I’ve got some very good news. Andy’s going to be starting 2nd shift real soon! He’s going to be calling back real soon. He’s packing now, as he’s going to Vegas for two days, the lucky fem.

Earlier Tom went grocery shopping and he got some watercolors. They’re a far cry different than a pencil or a marker, but I’m practicing. I touched up a so-so Gloria drawing and made it pretty nice. Nicer than I’d expected. I also typed letters to my parents and Kim.

That’s all for now.

SATURDAY, MARCH 12, 1994 Well, I’m still up, despite the fact that I don’t think I will be for too much longer. I turned down the idea of typing letters. I’ve got lots to tell everyone, too.

Come to think of it, I’ve gotten no calls from Fran or messages left by him.

Deep down, for curiosity’s sake, I wonder what is really going on in Nervous’s life. Is he still with Crystal? If so, how’s it going? I wonder who else he knows and what else he’s doing. That is, aside from working at the leather shop. I’ll never really ever know, now will I?

More so, I wonder how Bob’s coping with being in prison. Thank God he didn’t get in trouble while I was there. I sure needed him when Kim wasn’t around.

Tuesday we’re going to the library to look for Bob’s article in the Greenfield newspaper and perhaps pick up a book on DES.

Later…

I got up a couple of hours ago and I watched last Wednesday night’s show I forgot I had to finish.

It’s beautiful out now and so far it’s been very shockingly quiet. I don’t even know if they’re home next door.

Tom’s working now on the back room and I’m bored.

Later…

Tom and I finally planted our carrots and lettuce. In the back of this book, I wrote up a chart. This way we have the dates of when we plant things and what’s in each row.

It looks as if it might storm out there.

Next door’s been quiet, and if they’re doing their shit across the street, I don’t know about it. I have the radio on in my room and the living room, which also has speakers in the back room.

Oh, how could I forget! I’m 99 pounds and I don’t think I’ve been there for a few months.

Also, when I woke up I thought I was pre-cramping, but it was really gas. My tits don’t hurt, my stomach doesn’t hurt, and lastly, I’m not too bloated. I wish it could be like this every month.

Later…

Tom’s now watching the end of a movie I already saw on HBO. When he’s done, we’re going to fool around.

Yuck! I think I now feel some pre-cramps.

It rained a little out, so the garden oughta love that.

Later…

Tom and I just did a lot of work on the back room and it looks so much better.

I just cranked the music up as I’m sure that any time now they’re going to blast off. I’m not in the mood to be reminded of apartment living.

Got a message from Tammy. Going to go copy it in now.

FRIDAY, MARCH 11, 1994 I know it’s been a few days since I last wrote. Well, I’m sorry to have to say this but this journal’s going to be ending on a sour note. I do have some good news, and the bad news is nothing compared to my bad days back East, but it’s still bad enough. I have a few major subjects, then some little stuff to write. I’ll save the better stuff for last.

Did I, or did I not say my luck would run out with the assholes across the street? Well, it did. They played last night for nearly an hour and a half. I had been in a great mood too, and my mood was totally shot to hell. Tom says it’s too soon to worry, but I know it’s the same old cycle. They’ll do this 1-3 times a week now for months. Like 5-6 months before they back off for another 2 months if they ever do again. I refuse to deal with it all over again. I must think and act fast. Andy’s got to know someone who can do something. I can’t and I won’t deal with this shit all over again. Now the tension’s on once again. Only several months of peace can cure that, but I won’t get that peace unless I take serious action.

Now, I have one more, not-too-cool piece of news. Well, as for the cigarettes, well, we’re together till death do us part. I’ll just have to go young, but there’s no way I can ever get off them. Tom still says I will quit, and he’s been right about everything, so far, but I don’t see it.

Speaking of seeing things - I’m pretty good at picking winning horses. I’ll have to continue trying to develop it.

Cigarette break now.

Later…

OK, now on with the better news, among news in general. The kitchen’s more than half done. We tore down the paneling and Tom’s now repainting it off-white. Boy, does it look a lot better! Brighter and so much more cheerful.

I miscounted the days till my next period, thinking I was due on the 13th. I’m due on the 16th, but the great news is that I still feel no signs of it. I’m bloated, but my boobs aren’t sore and I have no pre-cramping.

Tom introduced me to another super neat thing on the computer. This thing that’ll either repeat back what you type or that’ll have a conversation with you. I taped one of our talks on a microcassette recorder of Tom’s. The bummer of it is, is that it doesn’t say what I type. Only its response.

Tom got out some of his musical instruments as he was rearranging the back room. A trombone, a trumpet, and a flute. I played a little trumpet for the first time in my life. You kind of have to spit into it to sound off the notes. It was hard, but I managed to sound off a few notes. The flute was easier and miraculously I was able to remember where certain notes are after so many years for one who didn’t play for long. Also, now that I have good pitch, I could tell what the notes were that I randomly keyed and played.

Last night, Tom and I sang some songs of Linda’s. He played the chords on the keyboard while I sang.

He also got a programming language thing that will save so much time on the business so we don’t have to stall in another 3 months.

Later…

There’s not much more to do with the kitchen and soon we’re going to work on the back room. Tom’s making himself something to eat, then we’re going to work on it.

Later…

Tom’s now hosing off a low/wide table that was here when he moved in. He’s going to put some of his books and equipment on it till we build wall shelves in the cubby hole at the far end of the back room. I’m going to be using a taller bookshelf that’s also of solid wood. The little wooden bookcase will replace the plastic ones my CDs and CD player are now on. I hate the plastic ones cuz they sag.

I called Kim last night and asked her if she’d found any information on Bob and where he is. Sure enough, just as I told Kim, Minnie never sent Kim the article about Bob in the Greenfield paper. Kim says she has the weekend off and will then try to find stuff out. Tom says it’s a matter of public record, which is true. Kim can find out at the courthouse where he is. Also, we may be able to see the article from our library here. That’d be nice. I’ll let Kim know of all this the next time I write her, but she probably will figure it out on her own.

Well, now I’m going to go see what Tom’s up to and if I’m needed.

Later…

Tom and I sure got lots and lots of work done in the back room. We’re on break now. He’s watching basketball and I’m lying on my bed.

We ordered dinner from My Mother’s. He got a pizza and I ordered a prime rib dinner, but it will probably be a while before it gets here.

Right now I want to change my sheets before it gets much later.

Later…

Boy, that was yummy! Plus, they screwed up in our favor. His pizza and my prime rib totaled about $19, but they charged us only $11. I’m so full now and I’m trying to burp it up as best I can. Perfect timing, though, cuz at 9 PM I need to take my meds.

After I finish this journal and begin the next one, I’ll probably listen to music.

Later…

OK, well, here I am on the last page! I just went back and put the color changer through all the pages I did today. Counting this page I’ve done 16 pages. Now it’s time for the one with all the cool stamps from all over the world. Journal #60! I really thought it’d be the year 2000 and something when I’d hit journal #60. Especially when I first began in 1987. I hate #50 just 4 months ago.

Later…

Tom’s going to bed in a few minutes and I am too, in a little while.

Tomorrow it’ll be another 80º day and Sunday it’ll be somewhere in the neighborhood of 85º.

Earlier I saw Marlee Matlin in Hear No Evil. I missed the first half-hour, but what I did see was good. It was also the first time I saw her topless.

Just when I thought my hair might quit growing for a while, it’s even longer. Just about touching the crack of my ass.

No concerts from across the street, thank God, but I still won’t hold my breath. Tomorrow and Sunday will be next door’s turn, although I’m not shocked I didn’t hear more of them last weekend.

I’ve got lots of new pens that won’t be drying up anytime soon, so I’m going to do each day a different color.

I asked Tom when he thought Bob would be able to write letters. He said maybe in a couple of weeks. I sure hope so.

TUESDAY, MARCH 8, 1994 Cool! I’m only 5 days away from my period and feel no signs of it. No pre-cramping, no sore tits, but I am a little bloated. Aren’t I always? Actually, though, I’m not as bloated as I normally am only 5 days away.

I wish it were almost time for me to go to the ACS class. I’m really looking forward to it and I want it to work sooo badly.

I think I’ll go watch the 2½-hour shows I taped.

Later…

I’m watching Geraldo now and next is Charlie’s Angels.

Tom’s leaving soon to go get paint for the kitchen. He’s also getting a sander.

Everyone has their hang-ups. I just hate to watch TV with someone else. I like to watch TV alone. That’s when I want my space like when I listen to music. But Tom won’t let me watch TV alone. He could be in the computer room, then only intend to come into the kitchen, but instead, he stops and watches whatever I have on. If I want to keep him in the living room forever, all I’d have to do is keep the TV on. Well, I did want him to see how I could do all of program 2 on one of my workout videos. So, I put it in the VCR and did it knowing he’d sit right there through the entire thing.

He said he hates talk shows. Well, he loves them now, cuz that’s what he’s watching.

Later…

Tom came back an hour ago with all kinds of things to do the kitchen with. He even got new kitchen faucets.

He’s about to make us bacon and eggs, then we’re going to go plant the lettuce and carrot seeds.

I wish it were time for me to go to my class now.

Still no mail from Kim today. I don’t know what’s taking her so long to send the article and find more info. I’ll send her a letter soon.

I got another collector’s plate under the name of Ann W. Had to be from Andy or Fran. It’s black Labradors and it’s nice. Now I have a total of 6.

Later…

Well, in 2 hours and 15 minutes, we’ll be leaving for the class. I hope for the best.

In the meantime, we dug up patches of dirt, shook the dirt out, and took the grass out of the area where we’ll be planting seeds.

I really miss Andy. I hope to hell he gets a night job somewhere soon. Second shift would be perfect for him and I know he’d want that much more than third.

He’s now on the phone talking to his friend Eileen. Me? I’m just bored as hell till I leave. Think I’ll go make myself some coffee now.

MONDAY, MARCH 7, 1994 I meant to write yesterday, and yes, I do have lots to update on. Today’s surely different from those hot days we’ve been having. It’s raining and thundering. I like the change, though, whereas back east, that’s all it ever does and you pray for a day without rain, let alone cold and snow.

This weekend was fairly quiet. No music and no steady hour-after-hour ball bouncing, although I did hear it a little. When I went to put my mail out, I saw their ball laying in their driveway. Part of me wanted to take it and ditch it somewhere, but I didn’t want to be seen. Plus, I’m sure they’d just turn around and get a new ball. Still, it’d be nice if some kid came by and took it.

I hope it rains this weekend and then I’ll have had enough of it for a while. I do look forward to the monsoon season, though. It’s awesome. Also, as it gets hotter and hotter, fewer people will be out.

Tom’s working now, but tomorrow he’s on vacation till next Monday. We expect to be very busy, but I’ll tell you what we do as we do whatever we do. Last Saturday we finally began to take down that ugly old paneling. Soon we’ll paint the whole kitchen an off-white.

I can’t remember all the things we did Saturday, but things have been OK. All except for the fact that my camera’s broken. I was so bummed out, too, as I took some really cool pictures.

Yesterday I skated for nearly 3 hours and I loved it. I skated around the pool and on the patio. It was so much fun and I felt very relaxed and confident. I really am an OK skater. I certainly wouldn’t dare do a triple axle with no coach, but I can spin and jump enough to have fun with it. Tom and I want to get rollerblades so we can go on the streets. This way I can do more and I can go fast. The two pairs of skates I have aren’t good for the streets. One little pebble can send me flying all the way to the Grand Canyon.

Well, Tom and I talked about my little consultation tomorrow and I canceled it. I hate going to the doctor and if I ever have surgery again, it’ll be to hear out of two ears or if it’s something necessary to save my life. Tom really thinks it would depress me and he’s probably right cuz then we’d never know for sure what’s in store for the future, even though we think we already have a pretty good idea. I never thought I could or would have a great relationship and be able to handle it, so who knows? I even mentioned it to my mom and even she said it was a big deal and gave me the impression that I should forget about it.

I feel like I’m forgetting something, but if I remember it, I’ll write it in.

No mail from Kim today, so I wonder what the delay is.

I hosed down the pig’s cage yesterday. It sure was nice just to take it a few feet outside the back door, rather than 4 flights up and down or in the bathtub.

The sun’s out now.

SATURDAY, MARCH 5, 1994 For the third night in a row, I got up at 1:00. The next couple of days I’d better sleep later. Tuesday I have a very long and very busy day. Tom will probably be up by 8:00 and then we’ll begin working on the kitchen. It’ll be a major task, but hopefully fun.

Well, I must first go and get myself a bite to eat as I am hungry.

Later…

I definitely have to cut down on being in the sun for a while. Yesterday I noticed small traces of the beginnings of sun poisoning on my stomach. How am I ever going to get a serious tan without getting sun poisoning? If I were to spend another day or two outside I’d definitely have it over my whole body, and it itches like hell.

Since I ran out of my shampoo I’ve been using Tom’s Head & Shoulders, and yuck! It reeks like shit. When he lays with me in bed, he leaves that stench behind on my pillow. Masculinity stinks, as much as I love this guy. He’s the only guy I’ve ever met, though, that doesn’t have BO. Thank God for that much.

I’ll have to ask him if he heard the heavy metallers playing last night since I was asleep. I’ve got the radio all set to go today as I’m sure they’ll be out front playing ball all fucking day today.

Today, we’re going to take down that old-fashioned, ugly, disgusting wall paneling. Tom’s going to fix part of the ceiling, too, and soon enough we’ll repaint the kitchen. The counter, sink and cabinets will be redone one of these days, too.

Later…

I’m bored now. I wish I were just waking up. There’s nothing I can really do till Tom gets up. I also have to really push myself to stay up as long as I can. The birds just woke up. I hear them chirping away now.

Andy left a message laughing over the same thing I was laughing about on his machine. It’s sooo gorgeous here, while they have 3’ of snow back east!

Well, I’m off to go brush my teeth now and put on a little makeup.

Wonderful. Here goes that beast next door.

Later…

It must’ve been someone else’s dog I heard, cuz after I last wrote, I didn’t hear anything.

Tom got up around 7:00 and we went grocery shopping. There, I got 3 pens. Pink, purple and blue.

After we got home, we started pulling off the paneling. While he went to get my meds, I yanked the nails out of the wall behind the pieces we already got out. He’s doing the ceiling repair now. I’ve got the fan on exhaust blowing out dust and crap like that as well as a Fleetwood Mac CD, so when the kids next door go out to do their thing, it should muffle it.

I hope I get mail today.

It’s going to be another hot one out there and I’m not going to hang out much today. If the pool was warmer, that’d be different, but without going out and opening the doors, I got my fresh air. The bedroom and bathroom don’t get much fresh air, so I can’t wait till the EC is set up. This way I can air it out daily for a little while, at least, till the EC is on all the time.

Later…

Tom’s taking a break and eating hot dogs I just made for him. Soon, he’s going to a friend’s house to fix their computer.

FRIDAY, MARCH 4, 1994 Got a letter from Alex yesterday. He’s back in Deadfield at the same address. Then, why’d he move to Illinois? Must’ve taken a long vacation there. Maybe today I’ll get another letter from Kim. Maybe this time it’ll have more information. Like an address and that article. Alex typed the letter he sent this time around, which was great. I had asked him to type if he could and if he had a typewriter cuz his handwriting is incredibly sloppy. Most deaf people type well cuz they’ve plenty of practice due to using the TTY system so much.

Later…

I really hate that when I’m very much in the mood to write but have nothing to say. I need a fun everyday project to keep me busy. I’m getting bored with just the stuff I already do. I’m just not in the mood to type letters right now. Besides, I’m going to wait till my new order of envelopes arrives. They’ll get here in a day or two. I’m not in the mood to veg in front of the TV now. Plus, nothing’s on. I don’t feel like editing, but I am hungry. I’ll go zap another piece of pizza.

Later I’ll work out and hang out outside as it’ll be 83º.

Later…

Today’s just as gorgeous as I said it’d be. I got even more color. The only thing not too peaceful was the dog next door. At least it didn’t keep going and going, though. The kids next door are out front. Why do they always go to the front? I’ve only heard them out back once or twice. This is good for when I’m out back, but when I’m in the house I’m at the front of the house most of the time.

I just checked and they’re gone now, thankfully. I think they got company. Some blue truck is now parked in front. This weekend, I’m sure I’ll have to listen to them play ball. The guy (Dean) just left in their red van. I just thank God the dog doesn’t go on and on like when they first got here. That our place isn’t attached to theirs. That the music people across the street have shut up and that the dog across the street is gone. I pray to God constantly not to let my luck run out. This is my time now for peace and quiet after so many years of being so affected by other people’s noise. I live in a house now. It’s my right just as well as anyone else’s right.

I just checked again. Those kids apparently were only out a second.

The scars from the NHA, Vista Ventana and Crystal Creek will be with me for years to come, if not always. At least it’s getting better. The longer I see this place fairly quiet most of the time, the more my tensions and memories will fade.

No one’s ever going to wake me up again. And if they do, I’ll be sure to give them a wake-up call in the middle of the night. I can promise this for sure.

I hope the mailman brings me a letter from Kim today. That is because my parents won’t write until next year, Fran and Bob never will, and Alex will write again in May or June.

Boy, do I ever need something to eat now. I think I’ll heat up the last piece of pizza. Tom got a few things from the store early this morning before work.

We’ve got huge plans for tomorrow, but I’ll get into that later.

Later…

I’m going to do a little bit of writing, so as to keep myself awake a little longer.

About an hour ago - boy did I have a big scare. I was watching TV when all of a sudden – boom! I asked myself…was that a gun? A firecracker? It even popped the mailbox open. I called 911, then eventually I looked out front. I saw nothing and the dispatcher said a transformer could’ve blown.

After we hung up, people outside were talking about it and two guys driving by in a car asked me if I knew anything. Then a female cop that looked like a lesbian came to the door. She was a better-looking version of Linda the cab driver back in Springfield. She wasn’t the ugliest, but no one I’d ever sleep with. She was nice, though. She at first asked if I knew any drug dealers around cuz maybe a drug lab blew up, but it turns out that someone blew up the dumpster in the alley behind the houses across the street. Boy, if we lived over there, or they blew up ours in our alley while I was out back there, I’d most certainly be deaf.

No mail for today.

Tomorrow we’re going to start working on the kitchen, but I’ll put off writing about that one till tomorrow.

THURSDAY, MARCH 3, 1994 I got up at 1 AM and Andy left a message saying he wants his messages taped. He got the same message I got. US West says that this Sunday from midnight - 9 AM, the VM will be shut down so we can’t get our messages and no one can leave us messages, either. I wonder what the hell they are doing this time? They better not fuck up the system, though, or bump off the stutter dial tone that tells us we have messages.

Now, I’m going to go and continue watching my shows. I’m so fucking hungry too, but there’s hardly any food.

Later…

Well, I managed to scrounge up a hamburger and I had a bowl of cereal. Later I’ll make pork chops.

I taped Andy’s messages, called in my refills and scheduled an appointment for a consultation on a hysterectomy.

Boy, do I feel mixed emotions. When I hung up I felt a sense of depression and fear, but I know I’m doing the right thing. The thought of being held up in the hospital is scary, though, and I don’t want to burden Tom. I hope those scary stories of depression aren’t true, but everyone’s different. It won’t hurt to at least get information. I think it’ll be a worthy investment for the years to come. I can’t keep dealing with PMS and periods. Well, I could, but I sure don’t want to. Also, I can be able to go from 100% sure I can’t and won’t have kids to 200% sure. I hope it’ll curb my sexual appetite, too.

Later…

I almost chickened out several times and called to cancel my appointment, so I’m just trying not to think about it for now.

I am absolutely looking forward to checking out those quit-smoking sessions next week. I can’t wait.

I’m also looking forward to hanging in the sun out back in about an hour. It’s boring, though.

Tom warned me that I should stop blasting my music, but that’s the only way I really enjoy it and can get into it. Turning it down seems as impossible as my growing another foot taller. He says my hearing sucks. Nah, I don’t think so. It’s just so-so, but yes, it does suck when there’s background noise, like in a restaurant.

Oh! I’ve been meaning to write this in but I keep forgetting. God answered another prayer for me. For a couple of months now, the dog across the street has been gone. Yeah! I love it! It’s so much quieter and more peaceful when I’m in the living room with no TV or music on and especially when I’ve got the door open. The dog next door is so much quieter, the kids aren’t out very often, gone is the dog across the street and gone is the heavy metal band! Thank you, God! You did hear my prayers, after all. Now, please help me quit smoking for good.

I’m out back by the side of the pool now and yes, it’s going to be a warm one. It already feels warm and it’s still early. Where’s the cloudiness they predicted, though? I like it when it’s cloudy so the sun doesn’t kill my eyes.

Later…

Well, I did get some color and this is the warmest day so far this year that I remember of. If I stayed out much longer I’d definitely fry. Tom’s right. I have to do it little by little.

Damn! I just noticed my $300 check here that Tom forgot. He was to cash it at lunch.

So, anyway, I have the door open and the fans on to circulate the air. It’s sooooooooo beautiful. And Tammy’s freezing with 3’ of snow. Ha, ha, ha!!

What other little tidbits of news can I tell? Let’s see… I showered and did my hair. I need more shampoo. My legs are a little hairy, but I don’t feel like solving that problem now.

I watched parts of some talk shows and Charlie’s Angels.

The sink’s clogged up once again.

I hope the mailman isn’t too long in coming and that I get a letter from Kim with more information. Getting one from Bob is just wishful thinking and dreaming, I suppose.

Just took an Ibuprofen for a slight headache. Luckily that stuff is cheap and doesn’t cause any side effects to have to deal with.

I worked out a little and I should do more.

I’m 10 days away from my next period, so now is when I’m going to start to bloat out.

I haven’t done any wall art lately, but I will sooner or later. All the things I do have their phases. I have to think of new ideas and add more variety to the flowers. Being just your average artist, though, that’s not always such an easy thing.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2, 1994 Tom’s in the shower now and soon he’ll be gone for work.

Yesterday was a beautiful day and I laid out and got some color.

When I got up at 10:00 last night I watched the Grammy Awards I taped. Gloria won for her album Mi Tierra and she looked good. Her hair’s growing back, but when I saw her on Larry King she looked great. I loved how she had her hair straighter and it made her look younger, too.

When I woke up my stomach was fine, thankfully. It sure is weird though, how I get that for a few days every now and then.

I typed up 5 letters, too. To my parents, Tammy and the girls.

Almost an hour ago, Tom and I went to Circle K. We got something to eat and drink and I got cigarettes.

Speaking of cigarettes, well, it’s hard to keep a positive outlook when you’ve tried several methods of quitting and they all failed. However, I’m going to call the American Cancer Society and see what they say.

I’m also going to call my doctor’s office to see if there’s any way I can get a hysterectomy. I want to at least get information. I know it’s not elective surgery, as Tom said, but I’ve seen several news documents on women who had it done when they never needed it. Doctors will do anything to make a buck. I know this firsthand. I know some women have claimed to have horrible side effects, and Tom’s sister does too, but every woman’s different. I just don’t think it’s fair for me to have periods when I’ll never have a kid, even if I weren’t sterile.

It’s going to be another gorgeous day, so, I can’t wait to go out.

Later…

I have excellent news. First of all, it looks like I can probably get a hysterectomy done and paid for. I called my doctor’s office and they said I could either go there or to my GYN (guess that would be Dr. Kolnick) for a consultation. I guess the state would cover it cuz it’s considered sterilization. I’ll talk to Tom and perhaps we can check it out. Maybe after April, cuz this is when he thinks we can go to Disneyland.

Now here’s the best news of the day. I called the American Cancer Society and every other month they have 4 quit-smoking classes free of charge! They begin at 6:30 and run for 1-1½ hours. The next 4 classes are on the 8th, 10th, 15th and 17th and I’m really looking forward to giving it a shot.

Hey, it’s noon Eastern time now, so I want to go try calling that girl Minnie. Hope she and everyone else is thrilled at the fact that they’re in for yet another killer snowstorm! Hee hee!

Later…

It sure is beautiful out and I did lay out some, but it’s just so boring. Especially with not being able to swim. The only thing I miss about apartments is that their pools and Jacuzzis are heated year-round. I did get a little more color, so I won’t bitch about that.

I tried calling Minnie, but there was no answer. I’ll go try again.

Just got another letter from Kim. There was no article in it and this letter also sounds as if she had yet to find out about Bob.

I finally got in touch with Minnie, but she didn’t tell me anything I don’t already know. She couldn’t give me his address.

Later…

I just watched this talk show all about teenage girls in gangs. How sad, sick and disgusting.

I set the VCR to record A Current Affair, Unsolved Mysteries, Law & Order and Now. I really paid close attention as I was programming it, so if it doesn’t come out, I won’t be to blame.

Andy’s off tomorrow, so we’ll probably gab on the phone with one another at some point.

I’m pretty bushed now, so I’m going to hit the sack.

TUESDAY, MARCH 1, 1994 Tom’s address labels did come yesterday and he really likes them.

I got up at 8 PM and he’d been home for an hour. He made us Hamburger Helper. Then he watched Star Trek and I took a bath. Then he licked my pussy and we did laundry. At 11 PM he went to bed.

I idiotically taped the wrong fucking channel. I went to record a movie on channel 12 but got fucking Murphy Brown and some other bullshit on channel 10 instead.

I took some graph paper Tom gave me and made two envelopes. One to Kim and one to Fran. I colored in the squares. I typed Kim a letter and tomorrow I’ll probably get a letter from her.

I updated my checkbook. This month I’ll be getting $446 with SSI and SS combined. I got Tom’s $300 check ready. Also, I wrote a check for $10.79 for my monthly sewing machine payment, $34 for 100 stamped envelopes, and $22.80 for 3 new styles of labels. They’re very hard to describe, so when I do get them, I’ll stick them in here. Or the next book, more likely. Cuz they won’t arrive till the middle of this month and by then I very well oughta be in journal #60!

Now I need some coffee.

Later…

I just spent the last hour or so making up 5 more envelopes with really cool patterns. I did one for my parents, Tammy, Lisa, Becky and Sarah.

My stomach’s driving me absolutely nuts now.

Anyway, Tom got up at 8:00 and then he did the bills. He wrote out the checks and I stuck them in their envelopes, stuck the stamps on and his address labels.

He made us some bacon and he had French toast.

Well, I’ve figured out in my mind the 4 different fonts I’ll use for Tammy and the girls. I’ll use Bodacious for Tammy, Harquil for Lisa, postscript for Becky, and Rounders for Sarah.

[the-firebird69]

There's a vicious argument going on if it's Dan or Jeff whose speed racer and they're at it and fighting and it's going to be a race tonight between Jeff and Trump and it's going to be the Bradley GT original equipment and they're both trying to get there looks like an engines and chassis and suspension up to par and tires and rims can be open open class and they're going nuts trying to figure out which tires and rooms to use and our son says lightweight and and enough performance to hold the track you don't have to overdo the width and low profile simple it says oh yeah so he's going to town getting it ready and he knows what you mean if you get a hold of the track there's no point in getting something very very wide we need it pretty wide on that track they're going to be going possibly like $120 around the bend so he's looking at what to use and lightweight cuz it's not that much stress and then he goes oh that's pretty cool but there is stress so you're going he's going to go ahead and do it and it'll probably be a little bit faster but Trump's got experience in this nasty and his dad his son wants him to beat him it's going on now they're going to race down the street and our son and daughter say the beauty is that nobody will hear the race and they won't hear about until after cuz it's not real loud and sure you can have a rematch after you soup it up and soup up the engine but you can't change the suspension only what was original and that was VW beetle and they have new stuff they're putting it on which is fine cuz it's old and s***** and the tires and rooms can be anything you can find that works and they said we want to do the second race the third race is the GT2 no the third race would be a modified motor that would fit they're going to limit it to they said to V6 and they said okay so that actually makes it straightened out for the other races but he said it before he's writing up the rules now and that store in Freya this is going to be awesome so we're looking at the racetrack and they have a race scheduled for tonight so the race has to be earlier or later and the race is for like 9:00 p.m. it goes like midnight is awful already cuz people can't get there and really there's a curfew at 9:00 so most people can't so they're going to go talk to the raceway and our son I mean my husband is saying damn it it's my husband is saying probably like 5:00 p.m. even though it's a real short race and we said like 10 laps or something and they're saying 20 laps is pretty short it's a quarter mile so it's only 5 MI it still takes time if you start the race exactly at 5:00 people have to get there at like 4:00 and filtering in and get everything ready and set up and screened and then after 5:00 it's the race last only like 20 minutes but then have your break it down everybody's out of there at 6:30 7:00 and they have places to go so they're thinking about that and we're going to post right now so they have this to look at

Hera Zues

They know it takes them only a few minutes but a lot of people have to come and go and get it ready and break it down before the next race and at 5:00 it'll just barely be there and the racing officials wanted to be at 4:00 p.m. and they're actually on the phone with Mac and Mac has agreed and so get ready for 4:00 p.m. everybody

Thor Freya and really keep in mind it's just Jeff and Trump and One race and it's an exhibition race and they might start up another GT race tomorrow with everybody in it and it's a testing out of the race it's a good idea and it's much better if it starts here and we'll see what the clones are up to right now they're trying to get over there

Thor Freya

This is great it opens up the whole thing

Olympus

Wow I'm getting all sorts of support and for this exhibition race and they're kind of friendly but they don't like each other time but they're competitive and sometimes to a flaw but really this is going to show them what the clones are up to and they say they see tons of it now they're messing with them trying to get the parts they're messing with each other trying to get them to fight I got to tell you this is an intense idea and what he said was that the club took his award as a Cub scout and he did it was a trophy and he'd have many of them but he was so upset that he didn't race again so we don't want him doing that and these people think he's not racing when he's pounding them to Oblivion for not letting him do anything it doesn't matter if he tried to race again he says he pushed me out again and what can I do they said my car is too heavy so we looked and we saw them fudging with it and he saw the messing with it too so one day we found out Peter audette was selling drugs he always does stuff like that and he's messing with the scale people came back and says this doesn't even weigh half an hour he has no I weigh it right here in the looking it says 1 oz and then a little scale and a few people showed him this is what the hell is wrong with it and the calibration is way off he says someone tampered with it and he started getting really mad he's telling people who it was and they said when he came in here it looks like Dave messed it up and it was when BG got hurt and BG says it was worth it and tons of people start getting mad at him and he started to pull some rank no he said to pull tricks he got messed up but I remember that he's an a****** and he's been saying he's getting their stuff the whole time so we're going after him pretty hard cuz of his mouth

Mac

We're seeing this race coming to reality it is the most powerful thing I've ever seen him do here but no it's not true but really this is intense this is great we're going to have a lot of fun and it's going to straighten out a lot of stuff and people are taking us things and bothering him it's horrible and their faces in the race is going to be different because they'll see that they missed it and so Matt wants to go you just know what we're talking about yet yeah he will get it there's a lot of questions if we're missing the roof can we can we still racist know you have to have a roof and you should be able to replicate it just go to Trump's plastic company and Jeff was smiling when he said it so we get it there's a bunch of girls who want to sign up for tomorrow and the guys are saying no and your car has to be finished finally. Well we didn't want you driving it and now it's going on there's another fight and Hera said that last line.

Little momentous occasion and he says it's kind of hilarious but fun and you can actually ride the e-bike to the racetrack if anybody has any clue you know if I see like a few of these going out there on a trailer or driving out I might try and figure out if there's a race and suddenly they are dropping their jaw and say no way we start to get this. It's such a small thing you're doing but with these guys who are close it's huge they think that you're going to be a huge problem

Olympus

[glenncoco4]

You Can Count On Me (Ch.19)

A/N: So when I first came up with the idea of this story I had huge plans. As I continued to write it became harder and harder to come up with chapters I’m proud of on top of all the other story ideas I had. With great sadness, I have to say the next chapter will be the last of this story. Thanks for sticking with me and I hope you’ll read my others. One I’m currently working on is a little spicey which I’m very excited about. Anyway, thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoy these last two chapters of this version of our favorite OTP.

••••

As the pair walk down the sidewalk, ice cream cones in hand Kensi can’t help the bubble of laughter that leaves her lips, thinking back to her fiancé’s encounter with the old white lady at the ice cream shop and is brought back to another incident from high school. “Remember when Old Lady Thomas threw a box of Raisin Bran at you cuz she thought you were trying to steal her groceries? ”

“How could I forget? I still have the imprint of the box on my arm.”

“You gotta admit she had great aim for an 80-year-old with cataracts.”

“A look into your future.”

Biting back a smile, her fingers find his bicep, pinching him for his remark. She’s just about to say something when the shrill of her phone fills the air around them. Reaching in her pocket to retrieve the device, she sends her fiancé a curious glance. “Unknown number.” The brunette accepts the call, bringing the phone to her ear.“Hello?”

“Hey, Kensi.”

“Ja-Jack?”

Hearing the name leave his partner’s lips, the blonde’s brow furrows. Without thought his fingers curl into a tight fist, crushing the ice cream cone in his hand.

“I was hoping you’d answer.”

Closing her eyes, she takes a deep calming breath. Life has been throwing things at them left and right these past couple of weeks so she’s not sure why she’s surprised to hear from her ex-fiancé for the first time in 5 years. “What do you want?”

“To apologize.”

“Why? Why now?“

“Not over the phone. Can you meet me at Burton Chace Park?”

“Jack.”

“I promise, Kensi, that’s all I want.”

Meeting her partner’s eyes, she nervously bites her lip. This is her chance to finally get the answers she’s always been looking for. “Fine. We’ll be there in 20.”

Ending the call without another word, she lets out a sigh. “Looks like we’re going on a little field trip.”

“You sure about this?” He’s not trying to discourage her from getting the answers she needs, but he knows how fresh the wound Jack left still is.

“Not really, no. But knowing my back up’s there will help.”

“I’ll bring the muscle.” He flexes his bicep, alleviating the tension in her body. This man may have hurt the person he loves most in the world and he may want to bash his head in but if it means she gets the closure she deserves he’ll be cordial…maybe.

••••

Walking across the open grass area of the park, she tries to calm her nerves. It didn’t hit her until they were almost here that she was gonna see him again, the man that broke her heart. The man she was gonna marry. Even though the last few months of their relationship were nothing short of chaos and turmoil she still loved him at one point in her life, maybe not like she loves Marty, but she still loved him. 

At the sound of footsteps coming towards him, the former marine looks up and meets the special agent’s eyes, and immediately jumps off the bench, walking towards her with a small smile across his face. “Hey, Kensi. Glad you came.”

She gives him a straight smile, feeling the tension rise throughout her body. Maybe this was a bad idea. Then she feels him press a reassuring hand on the small of her back. Her solstice. 

The former marine was so focused on Kensi that he didn’t notice the blonde walking up next to her until there was a burning sensation running through his body. He meets Marty’s eyes and immediately sees the anger bubbling in his cerulean blues. “He-hey, Marty?”

“Jack.”

“How’ve you been?”

Kensi rolls her eyes and feels the anger begin to bubble up inside her.  “Get to it, Jack. I didn’t come here for small talk.”

Nodding his head, he lets out a calming breath. “There’s a lot I want to apologize for. The way I treated you, especially when you were so good to me.”

Marty meets his best friend’s eyes feeling the need that she’s gotta do this on her own but he’s here if she needs him. “I’ll give you two a minute.”

She gives him a grateful smile before watching him walk off. He’s always there. 

“So you two?”

She gives him a pointed look, definitely not playing this game. 

“Sorry. None of my business.”

When she doesn’t say anything, he nods, knowing he’s only got a few minutes of her time. “I’ve been sober for about 2 years now and in those 2 years, I’ve realized how much I hurt you. You were there for me no matter what and I treated you like shit.”

“You were an assshole.”

He smirks, still the same spitfire she was 5 years ago. “I was a dick.”

She huffs a laugh cuz he’s right, he was the biggest dick.

“I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for trying to help me get better. Thank you for not giving up on me even when I gave up on myself. I was such a fucking mess but you were always there. You did everything you could for me. And please don’t blame yourself. There’s nothing more you could’ve done to help me.”

She didn’t know she needed to hear the words but as soon as they leave his mouth something inside her heals. And seeing the sincerity in his eyes tells her that he truly meant the words he said. She doesn't want to hold onto this anymore. Her best friend is going to be her husband…they’re continuing their life together, but as a couple now. This anger has no place in her life. “Thank you for saying that.”

He takes a quick look at Deeks who’s staring daggers at him. “He hates me.”

She can’t help the grin that spreads to her lips as she meets her fiancé’s eyes only he’s fixated on the man standing next to her. “Not gonna lie to you. He does.”

“I’m happy for you guys. You deserved so much better than me which is what you have now. There’s not a doubt in my mind he’s the man you deserve.”

Eyes still trained on her partner, she nods in agreement. He’s everything. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

Turning her attention back to him, it occurs to her she never got the answer to one of his reasons for leaving. “When you said Marty was in love with me and I clearly with him…what did you…I mean how did you know?”

“If I’m being truthful with myself, it was the first time you introduced us.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You went off to the bathroom and he gave me ‘the talk.’”

“The talk?”

“Yeah, like what big brothers do to guys dating their little sister only it wasn’t.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, he said the normal kind of stuff like, ‘hurt her and they won’t find the body,’ but there was this protectiveness I’ve never known in my life shining in his eyes. That and when you got a strike and started celebrating with each other, I saw the look you two shared and knew that if I wanted our relationship to work and not be jealous I had to lie to myself. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t…until one day I knew I just had to stop.”

“We were pretty oblivious back then.”

“That’s a bit of an understatement.”

She takes another glance towards her partner and feels the panic start to roll in seeing the deer in headlights look on his face. Following his line of sight, she’s immediately filled with rage. Her hand tightening into a fist at her side. 

“What’s wrong?” The former marine doesn’t miss the sudden change in the atmosphere. 

What’s wrong? What’s wrong? There’s so much going wrong yet she can’t find the words to voice it. “Um…it’s um.”

Then he’s there, walking off balance towards the pair and throwing his arm around the former marine’s shoulders. “Hey, Jackie.”

“Gordon, how long  you last this time?” Jack asks the older man, letting out a frustrated sigh.

Ignoring Jack’s question, Gordon’s attention turns to Kensi. “Who’s the pretty lady? You look familiar.”

“Kens, this is Gordon.”

The mischievous smile that the older man sends her way makes her skin crawl. “I know who he is.” She says it through gritted teeth, reaching for the gun in her waistband.

Gordon’s brow furrows. His attention suddenly zeroing in on Marty as he runs toward them, suddenly sobering him up.  

“YOU SON OF A BITCH. GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HER.”

“Marty, my boy!”

“FUCK OFF.”

Clearly, this reunion is gonna go exactly how he hoped, eyeing the three he quickly calculates his moves, and just as the shaggy blonde is about to reach them, he pulls out the knife in his pocket, jumping over to Kensi grabbing her, pressing the knife against her throat. 

“Let go of her.” If he wasn’t seeing red before he is now. 

“Not a chance.”

The best friends turned lovers share a look, communicating their plan without words. Marty continues to say things to his father, distracting him and before Gordon can process what’s happening Kensi has him in a wrist lock, knocking the knife out of his grip and throwing him over her shoulder onto the ground. 

Jack’s eyes go wide as he watches the scene play out before him. Kensi twists the man’s arms behind his back, catches the handcuffs her partner tosses her, and with his help tugs the drunk bastard’s arm. “Up on your feet, jackass.”

“Is she this feisty in the sack?”

Without a second thought, the blonde turns to face his nightmare and rams his fist into the man’s stomach, knocking the breath out of him. “You’re lucky I’m a better man than you are otherwise I’d put a bullet in your head right here and now.”

The pair escort him to the Caddy, Marty taking over and shoving him in the back seat before slamming the door shut. 

He’s rattled she knows that. Grabbing his hand, she pulls him to the back of the car, taking a stance in front of him. “Baby, look at me.” 

Doing as he’s told, he feels his hatred and anger wash away. The warmth and understanding shining in her mismatched orbs calming him in a way that only she can. She takes a deep breath and releases it signaling for him to do the same. He joins her on the second one and can feel the rest of the tension release from his body.

“That was a little more anticlimactic than I was expecting.”

“What are you talking about? My shit of a father approached you while talking to your ex whom you haven’t seen or spoken to in 5 years and held a knife to your throat until you flipped his sorry ass on his back.”

“I’m not gonna lie, it was pretty fun.”

He can’t fight the smirk playing on his lips, pulling her into his embrace, her arms immediately wrapping around his waist as he places a kiss to the top of her head, breathing in the scent that is so uniquely her. “You’re always saving me.”

“Just like you always save me.”

“We’re adorable.”

“Aren’t we though.”

Taking this moment for themselves they let the fact that this thing that’s been hanging over them is finally done. And then the footsteps approaching them brings the pair back to something else hanging over them. “Ugh, I forgot about the other asshole.”

 “Be nice. He apologized.”

The partners pull apart just as the former marine reaches them. A little bit of shock and fear written on his face. “I’d offer to help but it looks like you two have it under control.”

Marty huffs a laugh, unamused. 

“Look, Marty. I know I was an asshole.”

“You were a dick.”

“I know. I’m sorry. It doesn’t mean much but I am. You were there for her when I wasn’t. You were always there for her and I’m grateful for that because she deserves someone like you.”

Dammit. Why is he starting to like this guy again? “You getting the help you need?”

“Yeah, I’m taking it one day at a time but I’m getting better every day.”

Shocking all three of them, Marty offers his hand to the brunette. “As much as I hated you, if she’s forgiven you then so have I.”

Jack raises a brow skeptically before a smile crosses his features and shakes the blonde’s hand.

“Thank you both.”

Kensi, sends him a small smile before he turns, walking back towards the rec center. “Take care of yourself.”

Marty lets out a deep sigh, releasing some residual tension from his body. “Ugh, that was so hard.”

“That’s what she said.” She can’t help herself, he’s rubbed off on her in so many ways. 

There’s a beat of silence as they soak in the fact that it’s over. It’s finally over. 

Putting her Badass Blye persona back in place, she squeezes his hand, a little spark in her eye. “Come on. Let’s take this piece of shit to the boat shed so we can go home and have sex.”

He’s a bit flabbergasted by her words, shaking his head in laughter. He watches her head to the driver's side of the Caddy. “Girl, I’m gonna marry you someday.”

[imexperiencinggrowthgetoverit]

Im finally watching The Owl House instead of just seeing spoilers on Tumblr so Im gonna live-post my reactions cuz Holy shit do I have some things to say right now-

1. Camila sounds nothing like I imagined

2. LUZ DONT THROW BOOKS AWAY WHAT THE FUCK

3. Eda sounds nothing like I thought????

4. Luz… baby… you didn’t see the door with a giant eye and- ya know what- not worth it

5. Why is Eda not sus about a human? I am definitely missing something

6. Is Alex Hirsch the voice for the guard?

7. Why hand come off?????

8. Luz is self aware. This is good.

9. HOOTY??????? THE FUCK????

10. Luz! Don’t just grab people and creatures!

11. Wait- have I been mispronouncing Luz’ name? I thought it was Luhz not Looz

12. Eda! Blackmail and manipulation isn’t cool!

13. by the way both Earth and Boiling Isles conforming places are so disgusting like the fuck

14. Luz I love you and im concerned by your lax reaction to this new world

15. the warden is disgusting

16. h- thats not how physics work??? how are the doors opening???

17. Eda you’re great for protecting the child first

18. Luz is so cool for rebellion tho

Done! I think Im gonna rewatch each episode again when I don’t pay attention enough so I can write these. Hard to remember my questions if I pay attention too hard but ya know I wanna express how I feel too

1. wait these people are overreacting sometimes. the snakes and spiders? yeah absolutely valid to run. The sausages and eyelids???? Y’all overreacting. I mean the wasted food sucks but like its obviously just sausages guys. The eyelid thing is just something at least one kid does every year and its gross but not scream and run worthy. These people are so rude. At least the principal and Camila are concerned about Luz cuz of her seemingly not recognizing what is and isnt real vs just being dicks about her hobbies. It could be much worse in that way. Also Camila worrying about Luz’ lack of friends is good, too. Some kids do fine alone, but most really do need a support system other than family.

(ugh why is the next line down here thats so annoying)

2. Boiling Isles is like- lawless??? Clearly the warden gets away with his crazy arrests (kinda like Warden from Danny Phantom) cuz he’s just a dick. Like how is the guy selling person-eating icecream allowed but a fanfic writer isnt???? Like this is all clearly a reference to queerness cuz like fanfic doesn’t bother anyone else unless you see it out whilst that icecream could absolutely hurt some random civilian. The shit queer people used to and still get in trouble for with no valid reason- this also could be referencing race as well cuz it is disgusting how many POC are arrested or hurt due to plain racism rather than justice by law.

3. oh my godex I have been saying Luz’ name wrong! I thought it was Luhz! Is it Looz cuz its short for Lucida? Also the fact Eda thinks she’s clever for a human makes me worry everyone in Boiling Isles will think Luz is dumb just because of her species which is hella speciest and yeah im worried

4. ): giraffes are cool. Eda why

5. I kinda hate Hooty not gonna lie. Also ??? Eda why you leave your stuff outside ???

6. I just realized that the Conformitorium may actually be a proper prison that just has too many lax laws. Also how tf did does Luz open and close the door????

7. Luz’ willingness to just trust Eda is concerning. Also the BK crown is funny. Eda is a softie

8. oh the doors are opened normally itd just hurt ouch. Is the scene of them falling done by that Baxter dude cuz its kinda smooth af

9. I really hope Luz’ speech means something to kids and teens. It feels cringely bad to me but im also literally 20 so its not meant for me

10. Luz… you cant just offer up your services for ANYTHING! Standards! Boundaries! Her age is showing here. (what is her age? is she like 12?)

11. That photo thing is absolutely real. Some people think its a dramatic movie thing but Ive done it genuinely. Who had the sleeping bag? Eda or Luz? Also love her phone case. Cannot imagine sleeping without a blanket.

Properly done this time! I think I’ll watch the next one once through then ask questions though cuz this took far too long. Ill remember the questions eventually.

[n-anon]

I posted 10,322 times in 2022

271 posts created (3%)

10,051 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@theoneandonlyyeti

@lirulua

@cosm-ixx

@oasisofgalaxies

@hyenaskill

I tagged 1,953 of my posts in 2022

#suspeesh - 290 posts

#n speaks - 233 posts

#important - 171 posts

#boost - 148 posts

#mood - 121 posts

#jacksepticeye - 116 posts

#antisepticeye - 95 posts

#bill cipher - 95 posts

#iswm spoilers - 71 posts

#anonymous - 68 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#please ignore my comments im so sorry right below you in the main tag on my phone someone posted sm*t and i was trying to comment on that-

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

A JSE Code Guide.

Due to recent events being @turquoisemagpie saying ‘watch out for symbols’ and look closely at next month in a recent reblog of their own post, I thought it imperative and important to give you a guide to which codes Jack has used in the past. (this is no guarantee to actually come back to these but at least I have them out there for you people.)

(I personally use https://www.dcode.fr/en for this, but other people use other decoding websites and that’s fine.)

First code I’m going to mention is ASCII85/Base85 (the one with symbols funnily enough) he’s used this twice, once in FNAF VR (H#Ih8@;^1'Df9E"G@>a) that translated to ‘Youcantlookaway’ 

See the full post

344 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

#4

Anti took over Cloak cuz he’s Extra™ like that. What a bastard (Affectionate and Derogatory)

375 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

#3

“I don’t know what happened. I was in the woods....” 

“and then I wasn’t.”

See the full post

417 notes - Posted October 5, 2022

#2

EYOOOO?

504 notes - Posted May 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Anomaly Found: Chase Brody Livestream Notes

-We were hacking into IRIS

-Inspired by Overnightwatch and the zoom commands

-was supposed to last 7 days, was lowered to 3 but then 2 hours went and passed so he sped it up.

-lots of technical difficulties with automod and stuff

-the crashes were unintentional but they were meant to look like they happened in universe

-THE LORRREEEEE

-Jack runs the IRIS twt account

-13 on trending on YouTube heck yeah!!!!!

-$120,000 on working on the game and hiring people for the live action and things

-IRIS is supposed to be a cold sterile environment and is supposed to feel uncomfortable

-Mark was Assistant Director

-Character playing Arin was supposed to be someone else but the person wasn't available so they got Arin

-Mark And Jack friendship wholesome times we love to see it

-HyperRPG did most of the legwork and ran the stream and made the game

-turtle easter egg was by Soph and is named Gerald :D

-This isn't the big huge one

-He has plans for a HUGE thing with lore, and at least 4 more are on the way and will trickle out as time goes on. He has plans for years of content

-Movie, TV show, Comics, everything. ANIMATION?

-No current plans for Choose your own adventure type content. Everythings on the table though.

-Jacks Chase impression is so impressive it's like he plays the character :)

-Takes place immediately after CHASE

-More and More make-up was added to make him look tired.

-Deja vu? No answers to how Chase knows this place. In this world there's a scientific explanation as to why Deja Vu happens but Jack won't tell us.

-ALTR is an acronym and stands for something.

-Arins character is supposed to be cold first to show how closed off IRIS is

-IRIS patch kept falling off

-IRIS can detect he's lying with the WTCHR

-'Very Big Brother is Watching' from Magpie

-the test is based on many actual psychological tests from various sources

See the full post

604 notes - Posted November 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[milliumizoomi]

Tiktok Challenge: Take it

Pairings: Midoriya x POC Fem! Reader, Bakugou x POC Fem! Reader, Kirishima x POC Fem! Reader

All characters aged up!

For those who don’t know the dance, here.

A/n: I literally just saw this on tiktok and went Y E S💀

Midoriya

So lemme give y’all he run down.. my manz was OUT

Like on the street when this happened

He was out with the boys of class 1-A

They was just chilling having a nice time yk

While you were with the girls of class 1-A at home

Basically y’all had a girls and boys day

The boys had gone to a movie and then a restaurant to go eat.

They had already ordered so they was just waiting

Things get hot from here luv👀

They were all on they phones and signing autographs

Cuz ppl recognized them

Then all of a sudden Kaminari literally SCREAMED out

“MIDORIYA! YO YOU HAVE GOT TO SEE THIS!” Kaminari yelled sticking the phone in Midoriya’s face

“Alright! Just calm down Kaminari you’re drawing attention!” Midoriya answered.

“Damn loud mouth” Bakugou chimed in too. “Nerd lemme see what that dumbass was so hyped for anyways.” He said again.

“Alright Kacchan but I haven’t seen it either-“

“Just shut up and watchhhh!” Kaminari urged.

They all just rolled their eyes and soon enough all the boys, including Kaminari, crowed around the phone.

And when I tell you their jaws dropped to the FLOOR

It was on tiktok was of you ofc and you were with the other girls doing the dance

Mind y’all, y’all were wearing the little pajamas the he absolutely loves on you, which were these.

So when y’all was lifting up your legs and y’all thang was thanging, nobody could move

They were stuck, especially Midoriya

His eyes was just following you. Your braids were swings and your skin was glowing.

And luv best not forget that your nails were done.

You and Mina did the dance together and when I tell you it was just ass and thighs EVERYWHERE.

And then the others girls hyping y’all up in tha back.

They was clapping ‘nd making people know wassup

And not to mention the comments, they were thirsty asl.

You had guys and girls in your comments talking bout some “ma I’m tryna treat you right” and “damn girl you gotta man👀”

Dudes literally said power off like not one even fidgeted

Next thing yk you at home with the girls getting all these texts from the Midoriya

He saying “Angel.. My love.. I saw you dancing on Tiktok with the girls.. I’m not sure what you think you doing yk all that’s for me”

GIRL YOU WERE SHOOKKKK

Like is this the same man who be stuttering over his words 24/7??

Talking to you like this??

Chile..in the next couple minutes, the girls were outta the house while Midoriya hauled ass to the room with you over his shoulder.

Bakugou

So boom (no pun intended💀🤚🏽)

My man was working

Just in his office, doing some paperwork at his agency then later he was supposed to go on patrol

He was just minding his business, just doing his job

That was until the bakusquad started FaceTiming him none stop

Like ignored the call ATLEAST 5 times but they would not give up

He eventually just got fed up with the constant calls and answered the phone

“What the hell do you want?! Do you realize I’m working?!” Bakugou yelled at them, rolling his eyes.

“Dude you are NOT gonna be working when we show you this video..!” SERO said having a nervous grin

“Hah? What video?! You called me for a stupid ass video?!” Bakugou called out.

“Trust me Bakugou.. you’re gonna find it far from stupid” Mina chimes in, scratching her head

“Y-“ Bakugou started.

“No shush, I’m gonna send it to the chat now” Kaminari said

“.. Did dunce face just shush me?!” Bakugou said.

“We’ll talk about that later..! Now watchhhh” Kirishima said.

“Whatever” Bakugou said as he rolled eyes and went to the chat.

He clicked on the video and when I tell you he literally CHOKED

His brain? Factory Resarted

Who do you think you are shaking your ass like that all up in the camera

And it made it no better that you were doing this in one his custom made hoodie after the shirt he had in high school.

The bakusquad was laughing at Bakugou cuz manz looked like he was DROOLING

“Ight ima talk to y’all later I got an important phone call to make..” Bakugou said and hung up and called your ass IMMEDIATELY

You was just chilling when you got the call and when I tell you this man told you ALL the things he was finna do to you when he got home

Girl the hairs in your head was shaking

Your braids? They were shivering and that don’t happen much

Miss maam when he got home..

Let’s just say he had your black behind walking like your legs were broken the next day

Kirishima

The poor man was in a interview

ON LIVE TELEVISION

And you gon’ do him like this???

He was in the middle of answering the interviewer’s questions when his phone just started buzzing nonstop

He wanted to look but once again.. ✨live television✨

He had to ignore them until the commercial break but he was glad that nobody could hear it buzzing

After the break came on he hurried to look at his phone quickly

Now to side track I just KNOW this man follow you on tiktok I just know it.

And your notification was on his phone but he ain’t see it and went straight to where Kaminari and Mina were spamming his messages

One of Kaminari’s said

“IDK IF YOU GOT THE NOTIFICATION BUT YOU NEED TO GO ON Y/N’S TIKTOK RN”

Kirishima was L O S T

He read the rest of Kaminari’s messages the went to Mina’s where she was basically saying the same thing

Mina was saying “KIRIII YOUR GIRL GETTING IT ON TIKTOK AND SHE LOOKING FINE TOOO”

Now he was like “hmmm I gotta see this now”

So he closed out of his messages and went on tikitok and when he opened it immediately yours was the first to pop up and it had thousands of likes

He froze at the sight of you.

There you were, in the female version of his hero costume.

Shaking your thicc behind self all up in the screen

Even when you was barely moving everything was jiggling

Manz had to cover his phone and hurry to put it in his pocket when the commercial break was over

He was literally SWEATING while his mini ‘shima was abt to make an appearance in this interview if these ppl ain’t hurry up

He could not focus at all

He was fidgeting all over the place and all he could think of was you in a recreation of his hero costume

He looked EVERYWHERE but at the interviewer so he wouldn’t crack

Best believe when that interview was over than man moved like the he was running for his life

Manz was GONE in the blink of an eye

Them interviewers while so confused when Kirishima was screaming thank you at them while he bolted out the door.

Meanwhile you just finished making some other tiktoks to post later

Mind you, you had already changed out of your costume

When all of a sudden, in a matter of minutes, the door just busted open with Kirishima huffin’ and puffin’ at the door.

Manz was look mad ASF

Girl u almost pitched right tf over

You went to swinging cuz the door was right behind you and you almost hit him until he grabbed your hand mid swing

When you looked up and realized it was him chile ya whole body relaxed

“DAMMIT! Eiji you scared the crap outta me! Don’t do that!” You screamed

“Be quiet brat..” Kirishima growled.

“Eiji what are you- AYE! BOY IF YOU DONT PUT ME DOWN!” You screamed when he threw you over his shoulder.

“I saw your Tiktok babe.. you looked so hot dressed up like me.. but you were shaking what’s mines.. you know better..” He said lowly.

You was trying your best to break free but my man had the grip of steel on you

You knew you wasn’t going nowhere soon

And chileeee...

The next few days after that, walking was a difficult task.

©Property of Miashimaa. Please don’t rectify, repost or modify without my permission.

Taglist: @uniquabackyardigans @haikyu-whore @kiribis-confesion-page (Open, but please specify which taglist you want to be added to)

[kentos-filmcamera]

10 times, 1 occasion - Inumaki Toge

5. Misunderstanding

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Even with your victory at the last event of the exchange and your stellar participation in it, you were angry. Not angry, confused. Toge had not spoken to you all morning. He either said his usual words to Maki and Panda or texted them. With you, however, every time he was about to talk to you, he regretted it and turned away. Have you done something? Said something? You spent yesterday and the day before that so well. He never once looked concerned or had given you the cold shoulder. Frustrated, you took off your personalized dirty jersey, only leaving you in the navy protective tight shirt underneath, and cleaned your pants from the orange dirt of the baseball field while walking away behind Maki, Inumaki, and Panda, and in front of Yuuji, Megumi and Nobara. You were almost given an out, but you slid in to secure the second base.

“Calm down” Fushiguro held your wrist down, stopping your aggressive movements. “You guys go ahead,” He told Nobara and Yuuji, who were both staring at you with light concern. When they didn’t move, he ushered them away with his hand.

“I’m fine” You persisted, trying to remove your hand from his grip. He stared you down with severity, as you stared back sternly, trying to take your hand away.

Coming from a community up in a mountain, both Jujutsu schools were far away. However, sorcerers in your family were unable to train you by their amount of occupation on the field or just because they were in retirement. Or dead. So, you were sent to Tokyo every summer to train. You and Megumi were raised in the jujutsu world side by side, so there was an unspoken, true trust between the two of you. You cared for him, he cared for you equally. You knew he was pretty reserved about his feelings, so it wasn’t like he was your personal therapist, or likewise. He noticed right away you were angry and came quickly to your aid when Toge didn’t. Nobara was pretty… observant, to put it kindly, of other people’s businesses. She realized right away when you walked into the common room how Toge looked away when you sat in front of him. Or when everyone’s phone vibrated on the bench except for yours. Or when you hit the ball perfectly for a homerun and Momo didn’t get a chance to catch it as it hit her in the head on its way down, he didn’t cheer for you to catch second base like the others did. Considering the mental shutdown he saw Toge having, Megumi decided it was best to approach you, as you became more visibly upset with each altercation.

“You’re upset” He deadpanned, and all the tension from your body disappeared as you slumped, your head looking directly at the floor. With a sigh, Megumi released your wrist.

“I don’t know what I did, he just won’t even look at me, I’m so scared... '' You sighed, looking up and throwing your arms out in frustration. Fushiguro’s lips tensed even further into a line, a bit sad to see you so frustrated. “Does he not like me anymore? Is it the scarring? Does it make me uglier? I-I-” You started spiraling, pacing around impatiently. Once again, he held you down, your panicked face meeting his neutral expression.

“I think he’s scared,” Fushiguro said plain and simple. Your face contorted from panic to confusion in a few quick seconds. “But you have to talk to him about it”

“If he wants to…” You sighed and shrugged. You gave him a sad smile “Thank you, ‘Gumi-kun”

“You’re welcome, senpai” He nodded solemnly.

“How about a hug?” You stretched out your arms like a child. His face dropped in disgust and began to walk away. “Oh c’mon! Give me the honor of receiving a hug from you, Fushiguro '' You jogged after him. He only picked up his pace, running towards the dorms. “C’mere, Fushiguro-kun!” You ran after him and he started to run faster.

“No!” He shouted back to you, but you could see the smile trying to creep from behind his eyes. Gojo was sitting on the stoop outside the first year’s dorm. Watching you chase after each other in circles, he laughed loudly, snapping a video and a picture, where you had tears on the brim of your eyes from laughing and a huge smile, with Megumi next to you a few steps ahead, with half a toothless smile that was more than enough for you.

Toge looked outside the window to hear all the clamoring, to find you on the floor squeezing Megumi to death in a half hug, half headlock, laughing like there was no tomorrow. His heart skipped a beat but his face turned sour as he squeezed the chest of his top. He closed the window and laid on his bed, collar down, facing the ceiling quietly. His phone soon vibrated in his pocket.

[ Maki Zen’in: tf is wrong with you? ]

[ Inumaki Toge: wym? ]

[ Maki Zen’in: why are you ignoring them? ]

Toge sat up, tense. The truth is, he didn’t know. He could have all his internal conflicts while still talking to you. But he was scared. You had never defined labels, so maybe you didn’t like him that much for you to consider your boyfriend. He was scared. Very scared. Scared that you had an awkward conversation that would end it all, scared you didn’t like him that much and had to say it to his face.

[ Inumaki Toge: i’m scared ]

[ Maki Zen’in: ? ]

[ Inumaki Toge: kugisaki said i was their partner. ]

[ i just, i don’t know if i am. ]

[ i don’t know if they like me in that way. i’m scared to lose them ]

[ Maki Zen’in: god, you’re an idiot ]

[ just talk to them soon, okay? ]

[ Inumaki Toge: mkay ]

He yawned and stretched, but when he looked outside, you were nowhere to be found. He plopped back into bed, and when he realized it, he had fallen asleep. He panicked and looked around for his phone, realizing it was a bit past 5 PM. He jumped off his bed and crossed to the women’s dorm room block, standing in front of your door. He waited there for a few seconds. Seconds turned into minutes. But he couldn’t bring himself to knock or open the door.

“Toge?” He heard a quiet voice coming from down the hallway. You stood there, wearing sweatpants and a large shirt. You looked distraught at his presence.

“Kelp” He greeted as equally quiet before taking out his phone.

[ Inumaki Toge: can we please talk ? ]

“Sure” You nodded and approached him, opening the door for your room “After you”

The two of you sat silently on the bed for more than a few minutes, not a word in place, basking under the golden beam of light the sun produced at that hour. That was until you decided to speak “Why do you hate me?” You mumbled.

His eyes widened as he shook his head and his hands, saying no incessantly without any words at all. He stammered, trying to contain his words and finding a way to explain as quickly as possible before the water brimming your eyes fell down your cheeks. His eyes landed on a small whiteboard and a neon green marker you had in the corner, and while standing up, he started to write. His handwriting was adorable, with perfectly round letters, balanced curves, and straight lines. ‘ I don’t hate you '

“Then why have you been ignoring me all day?! I don’t know what I did, if I did anything at all, and it hurts!” You exclaimed, standing up to face him. His heart skipped a beat in all the wrong ways. He hurt you?

‘ I’m scared ’ He wrote and you sighed, just like Megumi said. But still, you didn’t understand. Your mouth pushed further into a line, which then started to tremble. “Why?”

Once again, he wished to speak to you and say everything that went a hundred miles per hour, but couldn’t. He just couldn’t. Then, he realized Maki was right; he was an idiot. The biggest idiot in the whole wide world. It was a stupid reason to neglect you like that. To make you so concerned, you were softly crying.

‘ Do you like me? ’ He wrote instead of giving you a clear answer. Your expression turned sour as you laughed “I thought I made it clear enough. I like you. So, so much. It’s okay if you don’t”

“Okaka” He shook his head before he started writing. ‘ I’ve always liked you. I just thought you didn’t. Nobara said I was your partner, and I panicked, cuz I thought you didn’t want to be ’ You stayed still but cracked a broken smile. He erased the message quickly and wrote an ‘ I’m sorry :( ‘

“You’re very silly, Inumaki-kun” You laughed very lightly, a tear escaping your eye. “I was really scared to lose you… again” A few more tears squeezed out of your eyes. Parting from your friends was hard, but having someone like Toge, who always looked out for you, ripped away was hard. Really hard. You cursed the damn mountain you lived on for not having any signal. You didn’t know anything about anyone, might as well think they’re all dead.

He just sighed “Tuna mayo” He comforted you simply, letting the board down on your bed before carefully wiping your tears away with his thumb. After you gazed into each other’s eyes for a second, the message was clear; you were never going to lose him again. Toge pulled you in for a hug. I love you.

[stcveskent]

with you ; steve rogers

warnings: fluff + swearing, mentions of panic attack and some old memories of harrasments (touches)

Pairings: steve rogers x reader

request on wattpad <3

----------

"Good morning!" Your favorite voice spoke and you turned to greet it with a huge smile on your face. It was Steve's voice.

"Good Morning Steve, how are you?" you asked as he wraps you in a warm hug which you wanted it to last forever.

"i'm great by the way, and you look gorgeous by the way!" He says and you blush, and he smiles back at you, you and him are way too stubborn to accept the fact that both of you are in love with each other.

"and you look good too, like always." You said and now it was his time to blush, you chuckled and he laughed hugging you again.

"and if you both don't kiss then i'm gonna die!!!" Tony annoyingly says looking at both of you, which results in you both pulling away and looking at him.

"what're you doing here? Weren't you supposed to be at work, when i asked you for the run?" Steve asked and Tony looks like he's been caught, which he was.

"I'll be back you two, i have some work with Nat, and Steve make sure to give a good lecture to Tony for lying!" You said and he chuckled while Tony rolled his eyes.

"Oh that i will!" He says and you smile at him, as you walk upstairs to the office where Nat called you.

You walked in and looked at Nat, who was annoyed with all the paperwork in front of her, and by that look, you knew she needed coffee, so that's what you did, brought coffee for both of you.

"Good Morning!" You said and she rolled her eyes.

"Bad Morning, Y/n, i hate this!" She said and you handed her the coffee.

"not anymore." You said and she nods

"Right, cuz you got coffee, finally!" She says and you nod. You both get to work for hours, until Steve called you on your phone.

"Sorry, i have to take this, its Steve." You said and she shoots a smirk to you, and you playfully roll your eyes.

"Hey!"

"Hey Y/n, what're you doing?"

"I was just working with Nat, and what about you?"

"Well, i am waiting for you to say Yes, so we both could go and have lunch together, and that would be tacos." He said and you smile

"Alright, we'll have lunch together."

"Come downstairs now! Its your lunch time!" He said and you smiled at how much he took care of you. You when got into work, keep forgetting to eat but he's there for you to always remind you.

"Alright, i'm coming." You said and end the conversation.

"so steve hmm?" Nat says and you roll your eyes.

"We're just friends, Nat." You said and she scoffs

"Oh sure, i'm gonna take that, you blush when you talk to him, Y/n you're so in love!!." Sarcasm evident in that reply.

"Fine i do love him,But he doesn't!" You confessed and looked down.

"we'll talk about that later, y/n, your date is waiting!" She joked

"He's not my date and Alright, see you after lunch." You said and walkwd downstairs.

Just right then, Tony calls Nat.

"What do you want?" Nat answers the call and Tony laughs.

"Y/n and Steve really need to get together, it's important!!"

"Yes okay, and what do you want me to do?"

"I'm throwing a party, push them onto eachother!!"

"I think i can do better than pushing them."

"I know, just do whatever to get them, together!!"

"Okay Tony, see you then."

———

"Hey dan." You picked up the call infront of Steve, and he looked at you with a confused look.

"Hey Y/n, how are you?"

"I'm great, so where have you been, its been so long." You said, a smile over your face as you talked to your old friend.

"everything's fine, i am in New York for a few days, thought of seeing you, but you seem to be busy.."

"Oh no, we can meet, i'll tell you when i'm free."

"Right, fine!" He said as you end the conversation.

"Who was it?" Steve asked , while he eats , and you look up to him, a small smile, he never asks who it was when you got a call from anyone.

"what?" He asked and you shook your head.

"Its Daniel, my old friend, you haven't met him."

"I guess so. What did he want?"

"Wants to see me..oh wait, Tony just sent a text." You said as you looked at your phone and he looks at yours.

"Me too!" He reads the text as you do, Tony's throwing a party, he groans and smirks

"oh gosh, he's doing it again!" He says

"Well, seems like he just wants to spend some time being happy, he deserves it though." You said and he nods.

"Right!" He says and you both continue with lunch. An idea popped up, you knew you couldn't see Daniel, in between few days, so you decided to take him to Tony's party with you, and you texted him the address to which he agreed.

-----

finally the day comes, when you see Daniel, after four years, he looks kinda different, but happy.

"Hey!" You said and he hugs you.

"You look so gorgeous!" He compliments you and you blush, your dress was a beautiful, emerald green, satin dress.

"Thank you, and you look great too!" You said and he nods as both of you walked to Tony's Party, Talking about old times when you guys met him, and he tells you how he feels living in Italy, now.

You walk in with him, no one noticed it until you saw Nat.

"Hey" Nat comes in and hugs you and hug her back.

"You look so good today, damn!"

"Thank you so much! You look so pretty too, babe!" You said and she smiled, her eyes, are on Daniel, and back on you, as a question of who's this?

"Oh! Sorry! This is Daniel, my old friend, and Daniel, this is Natasha, my very good and best friend." You introduce them and they shake hands ofcourse.

"Nice to meet you! Steve was waiting for you..thought you might want to see him." she said

"Yes, ofcourse i'll see him in a while." You said and she nods, going next to Tony and whispered him what she just witnessed, and you were in your conversation with Daniel back again.

"We should drink." He says and you nod, before you two go get Drinks, and Steve noticed you, a feeling of jealousy taking over him, and then he looks at you, that smile, that beauty. You're always beautiful to him, but today you look extra beautiful and happy, with someone else. He clenched his jaw, and his friends sitting next to him, Bucky, Sam and Sharon, giggling over his reaction

"Oh damn! Did i just witness Steve Rogers, who is seeing the love of his life with someone else and is jealous ?" Sharon laughs and he shoot her a glare.

"seriously, I don't know how are you my friends, i could do so much better!" He said and they laughed.

"They're just friends, bud." Bucky reassures.

"Yea sure, look at him, he's being so weird with Y/n." Sam says and Steve looks at him.

"What? Y/n never wears shit like that, but with him..cap, I think you should go get her." Sam says.

"Guys chill!!! but steve go get her." Sharon says and he nods, and then he sees how touchy Daniel has become.

"Guys, give me a minute!" He says and leaves towards you.

"Daniel, i-you should leave." You said as he keeps a hand on your waist.

"What if I don't want to leave." He says coming closer, and you push him away, and Steve came towards you.

"Stop it y/n! You know i love you alot, just come here once.." he said

"Stay away! I don't like you at all! Do not touch me without my permission!" You said and he scoffs

"Do you remember prom...when you let him touch you, but not me—"

"Sto-stop!!!" You said and Steve came and looked at you, your eyes filled with tears.. and then takes his way with him.

"Hey! You better walk off, or i have to do it my way!"

"And what is your way?" He asks as Steve pushes him.

"You try to come near her one more time, you'll

Be going home on a wheelchair!"

"And who are you? Is she your whore?" Just then you ran away, and cried while Steve tried to stop you, but Daniel punched him which he stops and kicks him in the stomach, just there he falls on the ground.

"Bucky! Sam! Sharon, take your way with him, I need to go to Y/n." He says and they follow him, and he runs upstairs to you.

You in your room, cries remembering that one day, where your anxiety started.

"Y/n.." his soft voice calls you.

"Steve." You reply and he comes in, and looks at you, your eyes messed with some mascara. He comes and sits next to you, and you wipe your tears.

"hey, look at me.." he says and you look at him, still crying, and he kisses your forehead, a feeling of comfort radiates from him. Your eyes closed as you feel his warmth, which is trying to calm you down.

"shh, don't cry, you wanna tell me what happened?" He says and you nod, and he comes closer to you, and holds your hand, and you look away.

"The same thing happened on Prom , the school's popular kid showed interest in me and tried to touch me, but I pushed him away, t-they all made my fun for not liking it, I spent years recovering from it, and when i could live a normal life, it happened again." You said and burst into tears and Steve hugs you and you bury your head in his shoulder.

"Shh, Y/n, i know, i can understand, i'm so sorry honey, i'm here, I'll protect you I promise." He says and you keep hugging him, and he presses small kisses on your head.

"god! i'm so sorry, that i always bring you up in my matters, i should stop, and let you have some fun." You say pulling away.

"No y/n, i'll always choose to be next to you, I don't like anything, if there isn't you." He says, cupping your face, and you smile, after a long time that night.

"Just never lose this." He says , slightly running his fingers over your lips, which are curled in a smile.

"How about you go take a shower till i set series you might want to watch?"

"Friends?" You asked and he nods with a huge grin.

"alright! I'll be back in 5 minutes."

"Alright! Go relax." He said and you walked to your bathroom. You took a shower, relaxing yourself, but you were already relaxed because Steve made you feel so good.

After a good 5 minutes, you get changed into a baggy shirt along with some leggings.

"You are very punctual." Steve says and you smile, slowly slowly, you two get comfortable on the same couch , you laying on top of him as he strokes your hair.

The scene where Monica tries to propose Chandler is on screen, while you silently watch, a smile over both of your faces.

"You know, they're my favorite!!" You said

"I know, they're mine too!" He says, as you meet his eyes, a small smile over both of your faces.

You cup his face, and he pressed a kiss on your palm, but something told you to go for it, and then you did. You pressed your lips on his.

He was shocked at first, but immediately kissed you back, slowly and softly, and you both felt the sparks, after pulling away you and him pant slowly , and you both of you giggled softly.

"You didn't know i wanted this for so long!" He said, holding you in his arms , and kissing your head

"Me too, i-i love you." You replied and in that moment you saw him so happy, that he kissed you again, and with so much love, you couldn't describe how it felt.

"I love you too!" He said smiling, and just then, you heard bucky, along with Sam and Sharon.

"Hey Steve! That dick is out! How's Y/n?" He asked and he held you in his arms as you answered the question.

"Y/n's fine, now when she got Steve." You said and he pressed a kiss on your forehead.

squeels of excitement were heard, as soon as you said that, from them.

"Does that mean you two are together?! Oh my fucking good! Tony's gonna die!! Let's go guys, its time to spread the news!!" You heard bucky say that and both of you laughed at how much excited they were for you.

Now that you got Steve, by yourside, everything seems so good, you knew that every step which would be hard to take, he'd hold you hand through that, and you would do the same for him. You both got each other, which was all that mattered at the end.

--------

Hope this was good

please send in yo requests , i love to write them ❤️