#which is cool but also like. not necessary. i rant in the tags about shit. it's just me screaming into the void ya know?

[pa-pa-plasma]

sorry for sending you an ask about this but i saw your tags on the warrior cats post about neutering and i just wanted to let you know that they actually do take away the cats balls, they leave the sack but the balls are what gets removed. eventually the sack shrinks and like goes away because of the lack of nuts inside. so i guess bluestar did know what she was talking about in the end

this is. literally what i said. also, i've had neutered male cats with balls (or a sack as you put it, i am using informal words here) that you can see. which is. where i'm getting my information from. btw.

so. Bluestar still had to have looked at a lot of kittypet ass very closely to figure this out.

plus, gonna reiterate, we should also consider that this series just isn't very well written. in all seriousness, as a writer myself, Warriors is a badly written series that should have ended over a dozen books ago, with authors who make shit up & don't bother to communicate with each other about their new headcanons & characterizations. not shitting on it (i love Warriors) but we should remember that there's like a million orange female cats & calico/tortie male cats, Graystripe's parents are siblings, & nothing actually killed Firestar on his last life, he just dropped dead randomly for the drama.

it's fun to speculate, but also Bluestar was just saying that shit about the cutter cuz of Rusty needing a final push to leave his twolegs. it was entirely for plot reasons & the authors never actually did research to make anything in this series accurate.

[tinyboxxtink]

Weird Secret Friends *Chapter 3*

I fixed it!!!! Huzzah!!!

If you didn't see it earlier, it was crap-tastic on my phone.

I'm glad so far people love this. <3

Part 2

Part 4

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

-------------

When you returned everyone was laughing at chatting, except for Sonny who was drinking vodka and soda while on his phone. He looked up and saw you both returning, he jumped up to meet you.

“Hey, counselor. I hope Y/N wasn’t too hard on you,” He half laughed.

“Are you kidding me, Sonny?” You scoffed.

“She’s fine, Sonny,” He smirked. “I like a little fire in a woman,”

“Oh?” Sonny’s eyebrows suddenly raised, causing you to give Barba a look. He was blowing your cover!

“I mean, I expect it from Jersey girls anyway,” He flipped his compliment quickly.

“God…” You muttered, looking at the floor. Pick a side, counselor.

“Anyway, um,” Sonny cleared his throat, trying not to think about Rafael and you together. “So when do we do presents and cake? I’ve kind of got an early--”

“I’m sorry, what?” Rafael furrowed his brows at Sonny. “Did you-- Carisi did you really just say that?”

“Do you see a present table? Do you see a giant rat mascot running around?”

“...What? Did I say something--?” Sonny became flustered.

“What do you think this is, a fucking Chuck E Cheese?” He suddenly snapped, causing shocked looks from both you and Sonny.

“I’m sorry Barba, I--”

“Alright that’s it,” You stepped in between the two of them, glaring at Rafael.

“Excuse you?” Rafael crossed his arms.

“Y/N, knock it off,” Sonny hit you softly.

“You have been nothing but rude to my cousin since we got here, Mr. Barba,” You pointed a finger to his chest.

“He was just trying to be nice, getting you a gift out of the goodness of his heart, something you would know nothing about!” Maybe now you were overcompensating.

“Y/N!” Sonny said through gritted teeth.

“What?!” You turned to see everyone at the party staring at the three of you in shocked silence. “Oh…” Your voice turned soft, your face turned red.

“Well,” Rafael straightened his suit and tie, recovering from your little rant. “I guess I should be a gracious host and open it then, shouldn’t I?” He gave you a look.

“...Holy shit,” You heard one of the guests gasp. “That thing is over $1,000! My wife wouldn’t even get me that for Christmas,”

“NO!” Sonny objected rather loudly,. “I mean, that’s not necessary Barba. It’s just a little something, it’s fine,”

“No no, your cousin is right,” He shook his head as he walked over next to Sonny’s chair and retrieved the large gift bag and placed it on the table. Sonny bolted over, you trailed behind quickly.

“No, seriously Barba, don’t,” Sonny began to panic. You suddenly realized how this was going to look, maybe you shouldn’t have pushed.

“Carisi why are you being like--” Rafael was questioning him but was silenced mid-speech when he pulled out the briefcase. His eyes went wide, you swore you heard a few people audibly gasp, You looked around completely lost, finally noticing the absolute horror on Sonny’s face.

“....Is this a Louis Voutton Robusto 2 in Taiga leather, Carisi?” Rafael whispered, running his fingers over the fine leather.

“Oh my god,” You couldn't watch this. Sonny had such a big heart, too big of a heart. He tried so hard...why didn’t you step in sooner?

“Uh y-yeah, sure Barba whatever you want,”

“Carisi, can I speak with you a moment outside?” Rafael blinked rapidly, trying to wrap his head around what was happening right now.

“Do you guys need somewhere to make out?!” An obnoxious man laughed, making the other guests snicker.

“Oh shove it Buchanan,” Rita hit him. “Sonny’s just his puppy,”

“Oh god,” Sonny muttered under his breath as he followed Barba outside. He didn’t know which was worse for people to think right now.

“This is totally inappropriate, why would you even--” He threw his hands over his head. God it was one thing knowing Sonny had a thing for him, but for him to finally make a move like this-- in front of his peers? His colleagues? The audacity.

You wondered if you should follow them. You were the one to cause this mess, after all. Also you really didn’t like the looks you were getting from the rest of the party-goers. You quickly began to follow after them, you could hear Rafael yelling from a mile away.

“What the hell is WRONG with you, Carisi?!”

“I-I’m sorry, Barba I--”

“WHAT?!” Sonny’s eyes instantly went to you. “W-Why would you…? Why would you say that?”

“I’m sorry, counselor I just thought--”

“You just thought what, Carisi?” He growled. “That if you bought some ridiculously expensive gift I’d suddenly realized you were ‘the one’?”

“What?!” Sonny suddenly snapped. “What the-- what the fuck are you talking about, Barba?”

“Uh I don’t know Carisi, maybe the fact that you have feelings for me?”

“What?” Rafael suddenly realized either you were wrong, or he was sticking to denial. Either way, he was probably busted.

“I bought you that briefcase because I want you to like me as a COLLEAGUE, Barba. Do you know what kind of clout you get in our field by being friends with the ADA? And-- And nothing I do ever seems to be good enough, I was afraid you’d never...accept me, unless I…”

“Bribed me?” Rafael asked softly.

“I--I don’t know, I--”

“Well,” Sonny shrugged uncomfortably. “When you say it like that it sounds dirty,”

“Right,” Rafael rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“....But why, in the fuck--” Sonny crossed his arms now. “Would you ever accuse me of--- of that?!”

“Is it because you have feelings for me and you were hoping I felt the same way but it freaked you out when I made some ‘declaration of love’ in front of all of your work buddies?”

“WHAT?!” Rafael practically screamed. “Absolutely not--”

“I’m just gonna ask you one time, straight out,” Sonny approached Rafael, his stature over him becoming more obvious the closer he got to the ADA.

“Then why? Have I seriously given you an impression that I-- want your cannoli?” He tried to find an appropriate word. And he was genuinely asking, he had made damn sure not to act that way for so long, there was no way he had fucked that up.

“Uh...yes, yes you have,” Rafael tried to bluff. He had no idea how this situation had flipped, or if it was better for Sonny to think he had feelings for him, and not his baby cousin.

“That’s bullshit,” Sonny shook his head with a sarcastic laugh. “I have made damn sure--” He glanced at you again, he knew that look. That was the same look you had when you had broken his mom’s favorite vase and had blamed it on the dog.

“Damn sure what?” Rafael quickly tried to distract him.

“Damn sure you didn’t think that,” He answered hazily, thoughts filling his mind.

“Because you do,” Rafael tried to keep defensive.

“....This isn’t about me, this is about you,” Sonny’s eyes suddenly narrowed as he was quickly becoming aware of the glances you at Rafael were sharing.

“Ohh no I think it’s about--”

“WHY would you accuse me of trying to...seduce you?!” Sonny cut him off.

“Does that sound like something I would do, whether it was true or not?”

“So it IS--”

“DAMMIT, Rafael!” Sonny stomped his foot. He was getting bold now as the wheels started turning.

“What?” Rafael laughed like it was ridiculous, looking everywhere but Sonny’s eyes. “When would she even--”

“...Did my cousin say something to you?” His eyes were narrow, he was scowling between the two of you. Fuck. FUCK. Don’t panic. Keep your cool. Don’t move.

“When you followed her just now?” He crossed his arms again.

Whew. Well, thank God. At least that bullet was dodged.

"Was she? Because it seems like telling you was the worst thing she could do!!!" Sonny snapped.

“....She might have said something along those lines,” Rafael glanced at you with apologetic eyes as he threw you under the bus.

“Wha-- are you kidding me?!” You hissed at him, but Sonny was already fuming at you.

“Y/N!!! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He started to stomp over to you. “You can’t just throw your assumptions at people, because you think your ‘emotionally stunted’ cousin can’t deal with some confusing feelings he has,”

“Uh…”

“Ya can’t just SHOVE someone out of a closet!” He kept yelling, oblivious to the stares he was now getting. “Especially not to my boss!!!”

“Sonny, I--”

“See I knew it!” Rafael clapped his hands together, trying to rescue you after he threw you to the sharks. “I knew you had feelings for me, I didn’t need her to tell me,”

“FINE,” Sonny threw his hands up. “Fine, Rafael. You win, okay?” He struggled with tears forming in his throat. “Yeah, I’ve had some-- weird, feelings about you. For a while,”

You and Rafael just stared at him while he “came out” to an entire restaurant.

“And alright, maybe I went a little overboard with the gift, my bad,” He shrugged. "But that doesn't excuse Y/N for telling you her conspiracy theories!"

"Carisi…" Barba sighed. "She was just trying to help."

"Y'know what YN, would you mind finding somewhere else to crash tonight, i can't really look at you right now," he sighed as he turned and walked awkwardly out of the restaurant.

"Sonny I am so--" you tried to apologize.

"Well you heard the man," He grinned, totally unphased by what just happened.

"I'm sure he'll--" his face went from a soft smile into a horrified expression.

"Are you fucking kidding me Rafael?" You scoffed at him in disbelief.

"Well at least he doesn't suspect anything between us!" He pointed out.

"Yeah just that I'm a horrible outing twat," you rolled your eyes.

"Aw carino," He pulled you into a soft comforting kiss.

"What's wrong?" You asked softly, afraid to turn around.

"How fucking DARE you say that, Barba. I'm not some fucking jealous teenager, although clearly that's your type,"

"Oh my god..." you heard Sonny's voice behind you. "Oh my God!"

You definitely didn't want to turn around now.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Sonny now stormed over to the two of you.

I can't fucking believe you Y/N! What the fuck is this? How did this happen?"

"Sonny I--" You tried to explain,

"And YOU--" He glared at Rafael. "You had the fucking audacity to sit there and start yelling at me for "inappropriate feelings'," he growled.

"Carisi…." Rafael put a hand up.

"What the fuck do you call seducing my baby cousin??" He snarled.

'Look Carisi I know you might be jealous, but--" Before Rafael could finish his sentence, Sonny's fist was hitting his face and he fell to the ground.

"Hey!" You exclaimed.

"This isn't about my feelings, jackass," he went to punch him again but you ran over and tried to pull him off Rafael as a crowd of spectators was forming.

"Which by the way, you have zero worry of those anymore, I'm not into perverts," he spat.

"Sonny!" You gasped. "...the hell is wrong with you?!"

"We're leaving," he instructed you.

"Like hell we are," you went to help Rafael up.

"Sonny, even if you were my dad, I'm a grown woman," you snapped. "You can't drag me out of here like a child,"

"YN," Sonny had that soft, scary, angry tone. "I practically raised you. I'm the closest thing you have to a dad. So when I say we're leaving, we're leaving."

"Either you come with me right now, or I'm disowning you," he threatened.

"Are you fucking kidding me Son?" You laughed at the absurdity of the threat.

"I'll stop paying for your classes at the community college," he threatened.

Well not only did he just threaten your academics but he embarrassed the hell out of you revealing you weren't even in a real college.

"So?" You stood your ground. "Go for it,"

"I'll stop paying your rent," He kept going.

"Well that's--" You started getting nervous.

"I'll stop payments on your car,"

"OKAY," You finally caved. You just wanted to stop revealing what a fucking sad sack you were having him pay for everything, just like a dad.

You looked at Rafael who was standing now, winding his bloody mouth with a handkerchief from a pocket in his suit.

"I'm sorry," you barely whispered with tears in your eyes and throat. The last thing You wanted to do was leave him there but as Sonny so blatantly pointed out, he basically owned you.

You gave him one last long kiss goodbye, to which Sonny made a disgusted scoff.

Rafael gave you a look of pleading, begging you to stay with him while he held onto your hand. You pulled your hand away from him and turned to Sunny

"Alright let's go Son," you said softly trying not to glance back at Rafael.

Sonny nodded triumphantly and walked out of the restaurant with you close behind, leaving Rafael alone.

[hornedandhornypandan]

Vent/Rant post about Witchtok idk

Tw: CSA/Grooming mention

((TLDR: Witchtok seemed fun at first but pretty soon showed a very ugly side of itself that puts kids in danger. Meanwhile 'experienced' witches are out there are putting dangerous misinformation about religious practices. +Also a personal rant about how this whole thing has put me off from talking about my own practices with Pan.))

I've been a somewhat active "tiktoker" for a few months. I only really posted videos of my artwork and whatnot to sort of gain some traction and sell commissions, which was great! I met a lot of really cool people, and made some really sweet friends within the small community of artists on tiktok... And then I found the Witchtok tag.

At first I was uniquely excited, it was really cool to see other witches actively show off how proud they were of their craft and their religious practices. I saw lots of pretty good advice, and for me at least, it was absolutely wonderful to see how different and unique each person experienced their craft. I feel stupid now in hindsight for thinking this, but I genuinely felt something with how fun and welcoming Witchtok seemed to be.

And then all of sudden it became a fucking train wreck. There are lots of things wrong with Witchtok: Cultural appropriation, online harassment, misinformation, people throwing around hexing accusations with no proof, etc etc. A lot of really dumb shit. At first I was able to ignore it, because surely people will be smart enough to do their own research and not trust some random person on tiktok about entire religions, right? And then I realized how dumb I was for thinking that. There are people on Witchtok touting themselves as being experienced witches who are experts in everything spiritual, and beginning practitioners are going to naturally look up to them as positions of authority to consult on matters that they might not even be in the position to be consultants of. So many of these people are actual children too, and its become a very scary situation with how out of control it has become. I think the breaking point for me was the issues surrounding that,,, "Medusa" tiktoker who began trying to groom minors for illicit photos. I just couldn't do it anymore with Witchtok, that was too much. It already hurt a lot to see so many experienced witches actively condemn and shame children for not knowing better, but that entire thing just proved to me that too many people within the Witchtok community DO NOT CARE about protecting or educating each other. They all just want to one up each other in this imaginary game of who's the most correct, meanwhile AN ONLINE CULT WAS LITERALLY BEGINNING TO FORM, I'M JUST,, AT A LOSS FOR WORDS.

There's so much to unpack, especially from my perspective as a Hellenic Pagan who's worshiping Pan. I'm going to get quite personal but it's been on my mind and I need to share it for my own sake. Up until recent events, I was beginning to consider participating in the Witchtok community because I really do enjoy sharing things about my path, especially my relationship with Pan. I love sharing the things that I learn, and I want to record all of it as I go, so that one day I can look back and see how far I've come in my journey. My time with Pan has not only helped me grow spiritually, but my overall outlook on the world around me has changed for the better. To illustrate better what I mean by this, I am a CSA survivor, and for most of my life, sex fulfilment and healthy love were things I fundamentally believed I didn't deserve. By the time I approached adulthood, I had already accepted that I would never be able to enjoy sex or feel the kind of love I wanted. Pan at this point has obviously proven me wrong. He helped work through my trauma, he taught me that sex can not only be safe but exciting, and he showed me that my body isn't something to be ashamed of. Needless to say, my relationship with a deity heavily associated with sex and fertility is OBVIOUSLY intimate.

So it really fucking hurts when I see my fellow pagan peers tell me that my relationship with Pan isn't real, and that my practices based on tradition that I spent MONTHS researching before I started is just me being a 'stupid baby witch.' Or worse when people tell me that I should FEAR my God, my God who has done nothing but treat me with kindness and love throughout my entire time with him. Or even worse, when people who think that because they read up on a little mythology, they can tell me my God is a r*pist, and that I'm wrong for having a close and friendly bond with him. It's almost laughable how so much of what Witchtok considers to be "the right way to worship deities" is exactly what Pan would've hated if I behaved the way they deem to be correct.

Pan would HATE it if I was never friendly and comfortable around him. He is known for having a unique sense of humor, why wouldn't his followers be able to do the same? Obviously there are boundaries, but any deity including Pan will set up said boundaries when necessary. He loves when his followers are silly and playful! He loves when we explore ourselves in ways that are happy and healthy, whether spiritually, sexually, or physically! He loves when we let ourselves loosen up and forget about our chains, even for just a moment! If I talked at all about my practices with him I can guarantee Witchtok would eat me alive. To be honest, I wouldn't put it past them if the collective opinion of Witchtok was that he's dead because it says so in myth.

In retrospect, I'm very glad I chose to stay away from Witchtok, not only would I not be welcome, but children are watching. I feel like not enough people are thinking of that, and that's terrifying. I can't imagine how guilty I'd feel if I put something out there that was misinformed, or even DANGEROUS, and kids were seeing it. I just couldn't bear it. As an artist I'll continue to post videos on tiktok exclusively about my art, but I can't in good conscience post anything there regarding my religious practices. Which honestly saddens me, so much of my practice involves me drawing and painting works involving what Pan looks like to me, and I would've loved to show off that artwork had it not been for the absolute shit show I've been exposed to.

So in conclusion, Witchtok is fuckin yikes man.

[sign-from-god-complex]

A Gift From Me To You - Epilogue

Chapter Summary: They were ridiculously domestic, and Patton wouldn’t have them any other way.

Warnings: There’s purely theoretical talk of suicide and major character death (of like, old age) that aren’t actually happening in the story.

A/N: And that’s all he wrote, folks! Thank you so much to all of y’all who’ve followed along with this story and left nice comments (and I do read every tag on all of my writing), it really means the world to me. I’ve put,,, A Lot of effort into this fic and I’m pretty proud of how it’s turned out, all things considered.

I truly hope you’ve all enjoyed it.

AO3 Link //  Link to Chapter One! //  And Two! // And Three! // And Four! // And Five! // And Six! // And Seven! // And Eight!

————————————————

Our final act opens on an apartment located in the centre of town.

It’s a cozy little apartment, collections of pillows and blankets gathered on couches and trinkets covering every surface—a result of the hoarding tendencies of a few of the occupants. The blinds of the outside windows were pulled open, letting the late morning sunlight stream into the living room and illuminating the slightly hectic scene before us.

Patton was curled up in the armchair, watching Roman rush to and fro as he frantically searched for his keys.

He’d basically been at that all morning, having been tricked into sleepy early morning cuddles with Virgil—the way the three of them often seemed to on days they had commitments—and falling behind in his morning routine. Patton wasn’t entirely sure whether it was a coincidence or whether their boyfriend knew they had to get up and be productive but on those days he just seemed considerably more alluring.

Said Virgil glanced up from his phone, disturbing Logan who was resting against his shoulder despite how small the movement was.

“Have you checked the fridge?”

Roman stopped in the middle of rifling through the cupboard near the front door, turning to give his boyfriend a disbelieving look. “The fridge?”

“I dunno,” Virgil shrugged, returning to disinterestedly scrolling through his phone, “That’s usually where my lost stuff ends up. I have a theory that one of us is sleepwalking and moving our shit.”

“Language, Virgil!” Patton chastised.

Virgil muttered through his apologies as Roman rushed into the kitchen. Patton just hoped they hadn’t left any knives out on the counter because at the speed Roman was moving there’s no telling what could happen—they didn’t want a repeat of last year’s Thanksgiving.

After just a moment a triumphant cry was heard, Roman running his way back into the room, his eyes bright. He stopped off at the couch, swooping down to plant a kiss on Virgil’s cheek and delighting at the way his boyfriend immediately began to blush, before looping back around to grab his bag from the hook by the door.

“They were in the fridge! Thank you, my emo nightmare!”

“Yeah, whatever. I wouldn’t even need to suggest it if our shh—” Virgil caught Patton’s mouth tighten out of the corner of his eye. “—hhhtuff didn’t end up in the fridge in the first place.”

The way he said it was slightly accusing, but not in a malicious way, just in a way that indicated that he was tired of having to defrost his belongings every morning.

“Talk to Dr Picani about it at your next appointment,” Logan mumbled. He stretched against Virgil’s side, stifling a yawn. “The onset of sleepwalking could have a psychological basis if it’s not something any of us had previously experienced.”

It was one of Logan’s regulated days off—implemented to ensure that he didn’t overwork himself—so he’d apparently decided to protest by working through the entire evening instead. The three of them had already berated him for that earlier this morning. Now, they were simply trying to convince him to take a nap, though Patton imagined it was hard to stay asleep with Roman buzzing about like a suburban housewife before a dinner party.

“Oh!” Roman exclaimed, “Speaking of Dr Picani, I should head off soon or I’m going to be late. Do any of you need anything while I’m there?”

Logan blinked sleepily and Patton had to fight to not coo at how cute his boyfriend was when he was half-awake. “I… believe I may have left my coat at my last appointment, would you be able to-”

“No problem, specs.”

“Excellent.” Logan evidently decided to take that as the end of his portion of the conversation, as he dropped his head into Virgil’s lap, humming softly as Virgil instinctively went to run a hand through it.

“How about you, Virge?” Roman asked, rocking back and forth on his heels slightly.

“Nah, I’m good. Though—” Virgil looked up from his phone to properly address his boyfriend—“I’ve invited Remy over tonight so if you can pick up some snacks on your way home that’d be cool.”

Roman rolled his eyes with far more intensity than was probably necessary. “Ugh! That asshole?”

“Funny,” Virgil smirked, giving Roman a knowing look, “I distinctly remember someone calling them a "cool dude" the first time we met.”

“Well, that was before I got to know them!”

Virgil studied him for a second, eyes narrowed yet amused. “…You’re still salty that we kicked your ass at Mario Kart, aren’t you?”

A grin broke out on Virgil’s face at the immediate protests from Roman and Logan in the form of both spluttering and a long-winded rant which seemed to only contain a lot of useless excuses—a favourite of Logan’s. It was… ridiculously domestic, and Patton would not have had it any other way.

They still didn’t really understand how or why their soulmarks had developed—Logan had done a lot of research, including discussions with university professors and “soulmark experts” but to no avail, they just hadn’t been able to get a definitive answer. Patton, however, had his own theory.

Things had needed to happen this way and the universe had simply recognised that.

Love is a journey, something you learn to give throughout your life, especially when you’re set to undergo as many challenges as the four of them had. Patton isn’t sure how he feels about fate but he knows in his heart that things would have been… different if they had developed their soulmarks when they were supposed to.

And he was right.

Logan had needed to wait. He’d needed time to develop feelings before his soulmark appeared, needed it to be clear he was the one in control of his own destiny.

There were a billion ways Logan’s story could have ended, but the worst were the ones where he died cold and alone, regretting with every inch of his decaying form that he hadn’t spent more time caring for others. The pursuit of knowledge was all well and good, but it’s little comfort when relaxing into the cold embrace of death.

He would wish for someone to be there with him—someone with a soft, warm smile and compassionate words, someone with large and excitable gestures, ready to tell him a story to soothe his mind, someone soft and quiet, eyes filled with tears and silent acceptance. He would lay there wishing for people who would make him feel loved and fulfilled until he felt finally nothing at all.

There’s no way to know for sure that what he had been given was the best outcome, but there was also no way to know that it wasn’t.

Roman had also needed to wait.

He’d needed to learn that he was a person, first and foremost. He was not one half of a whole, he was a unique individual who may be made better by being in a partnership, but had an intrinsic worth of his own—he may not have quite reached that point by the time he’d met his soulmates, but he’d made a start, and it was enough.

Had Roman developed a soulmark when he was a child the way he “should have” he would have spent his whole relationship basing his self-worth on the love he received from his partners. Fights would have been a nightmare for him, making him feel worthless and unlovable. He would have stormed out a million times, he would have sobbed to himself to sleep, unable to confront the others about the way his heart broke with each criticism and how deep his depression and insecurities actually ran.

In some universes that was all Roman could handle. And they never recovered.

Patton had needed to wait. He’d needed a chance to develop the optimistic outlook that he had, a unique perspective comprised of years of contemplation and familial love.

Not having a soulmark had given him something that had not only altered his view of the world but those around him's too. Patton’s intense empathy and care for others was an integral part of his character, it did not vary too much throughout his different stories, but his success rate did.

Patton had saved people’s lives. Whether this was something he was aware of remained to be seen, however, it was unfortunately not always the case. Sometimes Patton failed—even in the universe that played out, Patton had failed—but his outlook gave him a weapon. It gave him a fighting chance at convincing people to stay, to convince them that they are more than a soulbond—they are a human being.

Sometimes he gave too much of himself away, but he here had the others to keep him grounded and safe.

And lastly, Virgil had needed to wait. Much like Roman, he'd needed a chance to develop a sense of self-worth, but instead of separate from those who may be close to him, separate from societal norms.

Virgil grew up knowing what soulmates were supposed to be like. He grew up knowing the responsibility and the expectations that came with it, hearing all those beautiful love stories of people dying for their soulmates, thinking that’s what you were supposed to do. But now he knew better.

Due to not having a soulmark, Virgil had been removed from the situation. None of those expectations had been placed on him, and he’d come to learn that although rejection is terrifying and people can be cruel, he was allowed to want things for himself. He was allowed to establish boundaries and he was not at the whim of anybody but himself.

Gaining a soulmark when he was a child would have caused Virgil to push himself far beyond what he was ever comfortable with. And Roman—desperately seeking any kind of attention—would have taken and taken and taken without knowing how much it was weighing on Virgil, without ever recognising how drained and miserable his boyfriend had become.

He would’ve found it hard to be happy in his relationship and he would hate himself for feeling that way because they’re his soulmates. He’s supposed to give them everything he has! Even if he’s feeling like he’s running out of things to give.

But none of that happened.

All the ways the events of this story could have played out were not how they played out. The universe knew they had to wait… and so they'd waited.

Their soulmark, though not representing a significant moment in their lives the way they often did, was far from chosen at random—Asters represent love and patience, and after all, the four of them had certainly gained that.

Patton may not know the specifics, but he knew in his heart that the way things had gone resulted in the best possible outcome for all of them. The story may be unconventional, sure, but it was theirs. And he was so incredibly grateful that he got to be a part of it.

“Patton?”

The sound of his name broke Patton free from his thoughts. He jerked his head up from where his gaze had been trailing slow swirls on the carpet, a soft, “Hmm?” pulled from his throat almost instinctively.

Roman was looking at him, head tilted and mild concern painting his features, as Patton belatedly realised he’d been asked a question. Darn.

“I asked if you needed anything while I was with…” Roman trailed off, eyes flickering over his boyfriend’s face as if searching for something. “Are you alright?”

Both of the others were also looking over now, though Logan’s eyes were half closed as he was still partly in the clutches of sleep. Virgil had even placed his phone down, his expression clearly worried, and Patton couldn’t fight the impulse to just soothe their unease.

“Oh! Um, of course, I am!” he answered quickly, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Virgil threw him a disapproving look. Virgil was—Patton might say unfortunately, but he knows he that he shouldn’t—very good at seeing through his lies, so bottling things up wasn’t really an option anymore. Of course, he knows it’s good for his mental health in the long run, but it certainly doesn’t make things easy for him.

“Patton…”

He winced. “Right, right, not hiding my feelings, I know. It’s just-”

He could feel tears building up behind his eyes, threatening to spill out, and Roman strode quickly across the living room floor to kneel in front of him. Taking Patton’s hands gently into his own, Roman pressed a kiss to his palm, pulling them close to his chest and Patton had to bite at his lip to stop from bursting into tears immediately.

“Sweetheart, what is it?” His voice was sweet and understanding and Patton was so full of love for them all that it was overwhelming. “Is something wrong?”

“No! It’s just…” Patton inhaled shakily, eyes scanning over to Virgil and Logan sitting on the couch. Logan had clearly decided this was something worth sitting up for, though he was still leaning against Virgil, who was leaning back into him in turn.

It was sweet just how cuddly Logan got when he was sleepy. Previously, Patton had only had the pleasure of knowing Roman’s level of affection—which was A Lot, All the Time, Yes Please and Thank You—but now he knew Logan’s gentle guiding touches, Virgil’s absentminded petting, the way that sleep made both of them incredibly clingy.

He knew the way Virgil would seek him out after a long day to lie with his head in Patton’s lap, listening to Patton babble on and on to keep his mind off of things. He knew the way Logan would melt if Patton wrapped his arms around him when Logan was working at his desk, all the stress and tension disappearing in the warmth of his touch. He knew how Roman would swirl patterns into his skin as they laid in bed, trying to drift off, never quite settling until all three of them had finally curled up beside him.

He dropped his eyes down to Roman’s chest where his hands were still held, shaking his head slightly in disbelief because this is something he gets to have.

Gods, he was so lucky.

“...You’re all so perfect, you know that?” He looked to meet their slightly stunned expressions, his eyes crinkling at the corners as more tears gathered. “And I love you so, so much.”

The admission prompted a soft, quiet smile to appear on Roman’s face—it was a smile reserved solely for the three of them and it made Patton’s chest lift as tears began to fall. Roman reached out, wiping them away as they made their appearances, pressing lightly against his skin.

“Jeez, Pat, you make it sound like you’re dying,” Virgil joked, but the fond look in his eyes gave him away—he was a sap at heart, even if he’d never admit it.

Patton laughed wetly. “No, no, I’m not dying. ‘m just happy.”

“Well, we love you too, sweetheart.”

Roman leant up to press a kiss to his cheek and Patton felt himself flush slightly at the contact—casual affection was the way to his heart and they all knew it. He did love big displays—it was very sweet when his boyfriends (usually Roman) went to all that effort—but the soft, little everyday things definitely meant a lot to him.

“Of course, we do.” Logan shifted around on the couch, barely stifling a yawn.

Virgil wrapped his arm around Logan’s shoulders, softening as his boyfriend burrowed further into him before gesturing for Patton to move towards them. “Come ‘ere, babe. We demand cuddles.”

Patton giggled, retrieving his hands from Roman and pulling himself up out of the chair. They were all well aware that he could never turn down cuddles. He flopped himself down next to them, seeing the way Logan immediately adjusted to the change, managing somehow to commandeer Patton’s arm and chest as well as Virgil’s in some sort of twisted up human pretzel of a cuddle pile.

Roman had stood up as Patton had and appeared as if he were about to join them, but was stopped abruptly by Logan’s muffled voice.

“Roman. Appointment.”

Roman’s eyes widened, inhaling sharply in alarm. “Ah, shoot. I’m definitely going to be late. What’s the time?”

Virgil, having decided to give himself up to the cuddling, only muttered something incoherently, so Patton grabbed his own phone out of his pocket, trying his best not to jostle the half-asleep Logan.

“Oh!” Patton lit up as his screen turned on, displaying the time. “11:11! Make a wish!”

Two-thirds of the cuddle pile groaned, with interspersed muttering from Logan about how wishes were illogical and how 11:11 is a no more significant time than any other. For just a moment, though, the apartment fell silent, and Patton knew despite their protests they were wishing still.

And then it passed, Roman startling them out of the quiet with a goodbye, a chaste forehead kiss for each of them—though he couldn’t quite reach Logan’s forehead in the position he was in and had to settle for the top of his head instead—and a slam of the door.

Patton grabbed the remote to switch on the TV, trying to find something to occupy himself until he had to start lunch. Virgil eventually picked his phone back up, sending memes to Roman for him to see after his appointment just in case things got too emotional. Logan, surrounded by the warmth of his boyfriends, finally managed to fall asleep for a short duration, though he was abruptly awoken 20 minutes later by Remy’s arrival.

Patton was always adamant that if you say your wish aloud it won’t come true. As such, the four of them had no way of knowing that at that moment each of them had wished for the same thing—the one thing that they could think to want for.

Logan, vulnerable for the first time in his life, relishing in the way it felt to open up knowing you’re only going to receive love and care in return, knowing that he was safe.

Virgil, comfortable and accepted and far happier than he’d ever thought he could be, aware that finally he’d found his place—somewhere he didn’t have to worry.

Roman, experiencing the security of having people who adored him, making an effort to understand just how wonderful he truly was and how many good things he deserved.

Patton surrounded by all the love he’d ever wanted, feeling bright and hopeful for the rest of their lives together, feeling like he was finally living up to all those expectations he’d put on himself.

All of them, with their eyes shut and their hearts full, had wished only for this happiness to last.

So the universe smiled and gave them all one last gift.

————————————————

Tag list <333 : @bunny222 @jadedfantasies231 @221b-quote @reinefandoms @i-really-dig-the-purple @bionic-egypt @not-so-innocent-bi-sander @mistress-jinx09 @soijusthavetoask @marshmallow-the-panda @the-writersblock @theunoriginaldaisy @therubyjailcell @sandersfandersblog @hghrules @that-smol-tired-gay @sanders-sides-stuff @inan-sanders @frogdog145 @follow-pheonix-inside @forestwulf @coloursintheblur @cosmic-melodies

General tag list: @mutechild @super-magical-wizard @shadowsfromthesun

[oflgtfol]

got tagged by @yoursjuli thanks for the tag !! i love these things lol >:3

Are you named after someone?

yes and i fucking hate it. it’s a fictional character though and i can’t say who because that’s personal information i dont wanna give but god i FUCKING hate it so much. I MEAN its not really like my mom was like “i want you to be named after this fictional character uwu” it was more like she saw said fictional character when she was a kid, fell in love with the name, and sought to name her first daughter the same name so. im basically named after the character. my middle name is from my grandpa just ~the girl version~ though so that’s better.

Last time I cried?

UHM. maybe i’ve cried since then but the last time i can really remember is the night of my high school graduation, june 29th (LOL i have the exact date GOFIDHOS) and i was just kinda reflecting on everything that happened during high school and even just all 12 years of grade school and coming to terms with the fact that it was all ending and i was moving on with my life. mourning the loss of the few good things school has given me, yknow?

Do I use sarcasm?

not often! i mostly only do it with my parents, especially my dad cause we all poke fun at him so it’s acceptable. whenever i do it at my mom she throws a tantrum though so :)

First thing I notice about a person?

im not very aware of things. uhm. either their voice or their hair i guess, depends on whether or not im able to look at them directly. once i look at their face though i kinda focus on their nose for some reason idk. noses are very distinct and unique facial features and theyre my main way of identifying people and recognizing faces, but i wouldnt say theyre the first thing i notice

What’s your eye color?

medium-darkish brown. i think somewhere between t30 and t40 i think.

Scary movies or Happy Endings?

happy endings . i cant handle scary movies cause most of them rely on jump scares and i honestly physically cannot handle jump scares, i get chest pains after like 3, and it’s just SHOCK not genuine fright i hate it -_- genuine horror is cool conceptually but even then it’s not my cup of tea. i just prefer light hearted stories a lot more. even if the story itself is dark, so long as theres a happy ending it’s good :^)

Special Talent?

DONT HAVE ANY TALENTS BUT i do have a bunch of weird things i can do with my body! i have voluntary nystagmus which is probably the most impressive of the weird things i can do, it means i can vibrate my eyes on command. it freaks people out a LOT. i cant do it for longer than 5 seconds without seriously fucking somethign up though lol, i did it for 7 seconds once and my vision went white for like 30 seconds and left them aching for a few hours lol

Birthplace?

lawn guyland babey!!

Hobbies?

my default is always “reading, writing, drawing” but i dont do much of any of those anymore. uhm. i play a lot of video “games” lately but it’s mostly just One Game, minecraft lmfao. and i guess listening to music but its weird to me how people say thats a hobby when its only ever something you do when doing something else? i also enjoy just. talking. via incomprehensible tumblr posts ranting about the stupidest shit only i care about

Pets?

my dog, lola !!

Do/Have you played any sports?

NO LOL im so not athletic. ALTHOUGH if you count dance i guess i did that from when i was 3 till i was 9

Height?

5′6″ >:(

Favourite subject in school?

science baby! specifically earth science. literally my favorite class ever. history is also really cool

Dream job?

IDK. I’D LIKE TO WORK FOR NASA BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT AREA OF ASTRONOMY/ASTROPHYSICS IM GONNA SPECIALIZE IN SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SPECIFIC JOB. BUT I WANNA WORK FOR NASA PREFERABLY AS SOME SORT OF RESEARCHER. i think i’d like to dabble in some science writing too like i think it’d be cool to write about stuff going on in the field but i’d like to make it accessible for people outside of academia? i really enjoy ranting about stuff obviously and i tend to give way too much context + in depth explanations when not necessary so i think i could maybe put that to use in explaining things that normal people wouldn’t know about already, AKA areas where a lot of context IS necessary

EDIT: I FORGOT TO TAG PEOPLE. SORRY. im tagging @all-alone-in-a-daydream  @sinistarrrs and @qotice i guess but no obligation to do it if you dont want to !

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 050: Hunting Down Villains

Previously on BnHA: Deku and Gran Torino had a fierce fucking fight, during which Deku successfully utilized One for All LIKE A MAN, bouncing all over the damn place and increasing his body’s strength and speed. It was very badass, and he even managed to graze Torino’s cheek, although he was tired out afterward. Over at the Villain Bar, Stain rassled with Tomura and lightly stabbed him a bit to test his mettle, and apparently he was impressed enough to hold off on killing him for now. Then he headed back to Hosu, presumably to fuck up Iida’s shit ffffff.

Today on BnHA: Deku and Gran Torino hop on a bullet train trip to do some training in the city. Iida’s field training mentor Manual warns him not to try anything stupid like hunting down the guy who maimed his brother. Stain and Tomura arrive in Hosu. Tomura is annoyed and craving some mayhem, so he goes and summons THREE FUCKING NOUMUS to go wreck some shit. Deku and Gran’s train is attacked by one and Gran flies off to fight it. Iida spots Stain about to kill a dude in an alley and ignores everything Manual said and goes to confront him, announcing that he’s the hero who’s come to take down Stain in his brother’s stead: Ingenium.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 123 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

apparently we’re already on day 3 of the internship! we’re also just about a quarter of the way through the whole series now which is also cool!

this chapter is titled “Kill ‘Em Dead” so. that promises to be fun

looks like Deku has gotten his ass kicked again. but he wants to keep going!

“time for phase two... the actual internship!” oh yeah, that. I was wondering if he was ever going to actually do something hero-related. he hasn’t gotten much in the way of practical day-to-day experience thus far

off they go to hunt down some villains

bad villains, really bad villains, talkative villains, mysterious villains, fabulous villains, lame villains, surprise villains, tragic villains... there are a lot

Deku doesn’t think his heart is ready for this. even though he already fought like three of the worst ones out there

even Gran points that out, and says this won’t even come close to how bad that was. well, good

(ETA: this just goes to show that YOU CAN’T SEE THE FUCKING FUTURE, GRAN TORINO)

apparently there isn’t enough crime in this quiet neighborhood, so they’re taking a taxi and then the bullet train

there’s a whole map explaining where they are in Japan, and I’m ashamed that I don’t know enough about the geography of Japan for it to mean much to me. I do know that Shibuya, where they’re headed, is basically the Times Square of Tokyo, though

apparently they’ll be passing through Hosu on their way, which gets Deku thinking about Iida again

he’s thinking to himself that maybe he’ll get in touch with him later, so clearly something terrible is about to happen

“meanwhile in Hosu City” oh lord. bracing myself

the guy Iida’s interning with is apologizing that things aren’t more exciting. but Iida says it’s better that way

because this guy was not, in fact, born yesterday, he finally asks Iida if he’s after the Hero Killer. since it’s pretty obvious that this kid, who recently tied for third place in the sports festival and is the younger brother of a bigshot like Ingenium, probably had a few more exciting prospects than his little agency

he’s telling Iida not to be motivated by personal grudges. I’m sure Iida will take all this to heart and drop the whole thing immediately

actually that’s interesting to hear that they don’t have authority to make arrests. basically they just capture the bad guys and then let the cops and the courts deal with it from there

(ETA: although the way this rule is applied at the end of this arc is frankly mind-boggling to me. it should have been “thank you, children, for apprehending this serial killer who’s been terrorizing the country, and for saving Apache Chief’s life. we’re incredibly grateful to you and so very sorry that we fucked up so badly our own selves so as to make your actions necessary to begin with.” but nooooo, they get chewed out for having the fucking gall to take action in a life or death situation. and they’re told their actions can’t ever be made public or else they’d have to be punished since they broke! the! rules!! oh gosh. really the cops just didn’t want to deal with this on top of everything else and this was the laziest way they could sweep it under the rug.

sorry for that impromptu rant lol.)

Iida says he appreciates the warning. like I said,this gives me a ton of confidence that he’ll just go ahead and let this go

he is staring off into the sunset and clenching his fist

this kid got bitten by the vengeance bug real bad

now we’re back on top of that water tower where Kurogiri first met up with Stain

for whatever reason, Tomura has decided to tag along

“sacrifices” oh lord

Stain says the title of “hero” should be reserved for only the truly great, and that too many of them are just in it for the money and are undeserving

(ETA: Stain’s Annoying Rant Counter: 4)

now he’s jumping off, presumably to go kill some more of those money-grubbing heroes

as soon as he’s out of earshot Tomura immediately starts dissing him

(ETA: it’s amazing how much I sympathize with Tomura in this arc)

but Kuro says the other cities Stain has appeared in have actually seen drops in their crime rate, and that it seems to tie in with “an increase in hero awareness”

Tomura’s like, great, isn’t that the exact opposite of what we, the evil villains, are shooting for

and he wants Kuro to bring out Noumu so they can go on their own rampage

wtf. Noumu who’s supposed to be in police custody right now?

yeep

oh my god, fuck you and your s-less plurals you stupid misleading sneaky Japanese language

so these guys just have Noumus by the barrel, just lying in wait ready to be used at a moment’s notice, then??

THREE FUCKING NOUMUS

one of the Noumus has FOUR FUCKING EYES because WHY NOT

so basically these guys are their fucking Sentinels

back to Deku and Gran on the train!

it’s going to be nighttime by the time they make it to Shibuya. awesome. Gran is happy because there should be more crime to put a stop to now

oh my god Deku is waiting for Iida to reply to his text. omg. I’m having a “millennial reads a gen z manga for the first time” moment once again

FIRST OF ALL, I didn’t post the panel right before this, but basically Gran is like, “ON YOUR PHONE AGAIN?! KIDS THESE DAYS,” and OH MY GOD. GRAN IS LITERALLY NINETY PERCENT OF ALL BABY BOOMERS I’VE EVER MET

SECOND, DEKU HAS HIS READ RECEIPTS ON BECAUSE HE DOESN’T TRUST HIS FLAKY CELLULAR NETWORK

THIRD, HE HAS A PICTURE OF ALL MIGHT AS HIS OWN TEXT AVATAR, I AM FUCKING DONE. FOREVER!!

also, Iida read that shit and didn’t say a damn thing. that’s some shady fucking shit, Iida. up to no good

(ETA: I would also like to take this opportunity to complain about this translation, because in this version Deku has abbreviated the word “you” as “u” and ARE YOU KIDDING ME Deku would never)

oh shit they’re making an emergency stop

IS IT VILLAINS, IS THE TRAIN BEING ATTACKED

...okay yeah, I would say that is a yes.

yep. same

oh SHIT, it’s the Noumus. of fucking course they got those guys rather than Stain

so Deku immediately recognizes the familiar exposed-brains-and-vacant-expressions aesthetic, but before he can do anything, Gran shouts at him to stay put. and now he’s springing off into action

fucking shit. even All Might was only just barely able to beat the last Noumu, and that was with him using his full power and then some

oh shit the train hasn’t stopped yet!

shiiiiit

DAMMIT GRAN YOU SAID THIS WOULDN’T BE AS BAD AS LAST TIME

so now Deku, looking out at the city which is aflame, realizes that they’re still in Hosu, and...

and now we’re cutting back to Iida and his pal. and his pal is telling him to get a move on and that they need to head toward the scene, but all of Iida’s attention seems to have become focused on this random dark alley nearby, and now he’s taking off in that direction

(ETA: what a fucking coincidence though that Stain just happens to be in the alley right next to them though. like, come on)

and it’s Stain... he’s looking towards the explosions? presumably? and complaining to himself that “that idiot” is being too flashy

so the explosions were what was drawing the attention of Iida’s hero pal, but Iida himself probably saw this guy. and just ran over without thinking

I mean, Stain’s clearly about to end this guy though

the poor hero dude apparently can’t move. just like Kurogiri in the last chapter

and Iida’s appearing in the frame behind Stain now

oh godddd

!!

GHKHHKHFKH

LOOK AT THAT. GLASSES CAME FLYING RIGHT OFF. WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY EARLIER

now Stain is asking Iida who he is. does Stain not watch the U.A. Sports Festival broadcast along with the rest of the country

wow he’s telling Iida to leave

I left out “honorable villain” from my previous list of villain types, but this guy increasingly seems to fall under that category

(ETA: nope, already had him covered under “talkative villain”)

hoh boy Iida has his rage face on

but while he’s busy being dramatic, Stain cuts him off and points his katana right in his fucking face omg

he says he can tell from his eyes that he’s out for revenge. OH CAN YOU. YOU DON’T SAY. THOSE EYES, REALLY? THEY’RE SO FRIENDLY THOUGH

“watch your mouth or your age won’t be enough to save you”

I didn’t mention this before because I was too caught up in everything, but Stain must be the first ever person in history to look at Iida fucking Tenya and immediately think, “child”

maybe it’s the lack of glasses. if Iida still had his glasses on he’d have immediately been pegged as forty and would now be fucking dead

now Iida’s pissed off all over again because Stain doesn’t consider him a threat

look at this fucking monologue

IS HE GONNA TAKE HIS BRO’S NAME AFTER ALL OMG

HE TOOK HIS BRO’S NAME

and Stain is all “oh really? time to die then”

and the chapter ends

why are heroes so brave and stupid

BONUS:

oh cool, I think this is Iida’s hero pal and I was wondering what his name was

“Manual” omg. like manual as in training manual? instruction manual?

“favorite things: equilibrium.” favorite color: beige. favorite food: oatmeal. favorite musician: phil collins

I actually love him now and I hope we get to see him more and that he somehow manages not to become collateral damage during this arc

[howling--fantods]

Ah this RPS thing… I don't think there's anything wrong with having little "headcanons" as long one can tell fiction from reality. And I don't think there's anything wrong with fan fictions/arts since they're fictional and creativity shouldn't be censored. But of course not everyone is comfortable with this kind of content, so warnings/tags are necessary to make sure people who don't want to see them do not come across them by accident. (1/2)

So it’s definitely not okay to straight up ask the person involved about it since that would be shoving it under their nose. So yeah… That’s my take on this matter… Sorry for spamming your asks… Have a lovely weekend! X (2/2)

for the most part i totally agree with you, i think most of it is harmless and isn’t meant to ever reach the people involved and is just fans having a little fun. the problem with gramon is that it is RELENTLESS and people constantly bug graham about it bc he is uncomfortable and the fans don’t want that to be true. even in the post from last night the person asked graham directly, he said it made him feel uncomfortable and shitty, and the person still came to the conclusion that he was wrong. and he always is fielding questions about it, he keeps saying, “no you don’t understand, it wasn’t like that, we were like brothers” and people won’t take that as an answer bc in the 90s they made out and stuff, WHILE HE WAS SHITFACED. it is so inconsiderate in context, he is a recovering alcoholic and ppl keep showing him this shit that happened when he was using, jumping to conclusions about things even when he says flat out that it wasn’t like that.

i think it is completely inconsiderate of both graham and damon’s current relationships, especially graham’s bc he is so obviously not okay with it. there are ppl who will say every song graham wrote was about damon, which is simply untrue, i can honestly only think of one that might be. graham has this whole life away from blur, he has worked so hard for it, he and essy have such a lovely little family, and yet the fans don’t want to celebrate that as much bc it isn’t damon? he is so much happier now! i also think that something really sad about fandom culture that a relationship is only seen as meaningful if it is sexual. damon and graham DO have a really lovely friendship and it doesn’t have to have been sexual for that to be true. there are a lot of things about their friendship that is about pure love that is just as sweet and meaningful seen platonically, perhaps even more so! there is so much to celebrate about gramon even without the sexual component.

i don’t think graham is going on AO3 to check or anything and i know a lot of people who write fics that are actually quite lovely (even the sexual ones) and dont want graham EVER to find them bc they know it upsets him. i think that these fans are trying their best to be considerate and that writing fics is just a fun thing that is meant to be harmless. they always write warnings and are clear about the it being pure fiction. but continuing to insist that what he says isn’t accurate isn’t cool. and fanart is fine too but if you are gonna send it directly to graham then don’t make it reflect the parts of the relationship he has said are untrue. i don’t believe censoring ppl is okay but constantly harassing someone about something they have explicitly said is untrue and makes him uncomfortable is not.

ahhhhhhhhhh sorry for the rant!! thanks for your input and i do agree with you for the most part, the fans just really need to chill about gramon and stop bugging graham about it. i hope you have a lovely weekend too!!

[gyeommine]

MONSTA X as Best Friends

this is one of my lil’ au’s that i whipped up whilst i was away with no internet. i need to write more mx stuff(: i tried anyway - i hope y’all like it.

(gif credits to the original owners)

Shownu:

(boiii look at u w that bandana !)

biggest dad friend you'll ever have in your life

makes sure you're fed

gives you lifts whenever you need one

also makes sure you never have to walk on your own.-will fight a mean s/o who he may have had a bitter disliking to anyway bc it's you

basically is super protective of u

he is always v sleepy tho, esp if you're just chilling at your place.but you forgive him bc he's an overworked dad of 6

he is super down to earth and most chill human being in your lifehe is also super dependable, and is always there when you need him

he also gives the best hugs – they're rare but bOI are they worth it

is always awkward about you seeing him at shows or watching shows he's on bc he doesn't feel like he's a big idol, he's just your best friend

but you force him to tell you when he's doing anything so you can shout the loudest

most easily mistaken for your boyfriend

is a lil' bit dense at times, and is least likely to laugh @ your jokes

doesn't get sarcasm either

he's also clumsy

but apologetic, extremely apologetic

he can be a lil' blunt and straight forward at times but he's never as bad as the 'shownubot' he is v sensitive to your emotions, and is super caring

you also see the cute side of shownu

him beaming at small animals, when he talks about his fave food or his parents

again, far from the showminator everyone sees on variety shows

buuuuuuut he's v difficult to read, thanks to that beautiful but often blank face he has 

you also get really flustered when he juST strips??? boicouldunotwearepalswthpls 

you look at him awkwardly but he'll either not get it or be like “what? We are friends?”

and you remember your best friend is the most endearingly dad-like human in the world and nobody can change that

Wonho:

(a d o r a b l e)

I am convinced he will just giggle 24/7

ray of sunshine hoseok will just make you so energised and happy when he's in the same room as you

which makes you fiercely protective of him

you get to see his cute, bubbly side all of the time and it's literally a goddamn blessing

you guys just eat together

you'll deliberately plan on going to different restaurants or food places just so you can sample everything

but his eyes will always light up when you say “Ramen?”

like dad!sonhyunwoo, he is fairly shy about the stuff he does and is v bashful when you compliment his idol stuff

he'll shrug it off like its nothing and you'll be like “??? ur one of the most talented people ever you can literally fite me”

wonho and you could literally make anything fun, so hanging out w each other is never ever dull like, you'll create random dumb shit to do that only kids would think of and it would be great

but he's a really sensitive and sweet friend

he just gets you, and will immediately be on the same page as you w whatever you are feeling

he is so supportive and cares about you to the moon and back

it's bloody adorable literally treasure this man 

like he will literally stay up to ridiculous hours in the morning to listen to you rant or console you 

(my heart is melting whilst writing this send help)

but as we found out in the monsta x ray finale, boy needs that support since he spends all of his energy worrying about his pals and like how he gets you, you completely understand him it's weird, neither of you understand how you're in so in tune w one another 

but it's great honestly a++ friendship

Minhyuk:

(y’all don’t even understand how much of a look the red hair was wOW)

most of the time he just ??? you can't explain him ???

he is one of the loudest, and goofiest people you know

when you guys go out together, ppl are stunned bc he's super handsome

but you know that he's not this super cool, standoffish model-type – he's an idiot

he sends you pictures of cute animals all the time

or he tags you in them on every social media possible

and you guys watch a lot of disney

w a perfect aladdin duet where minhyuk is jasmin (ofc)

lil' dumb things like that brighten your day

he just has a knack for cheering you up

and he just radiates kindness – he's just a sweetheart

but when you guys are together, the sheer amount of noise you guys make is incredible

you guys are literally tied at the hip

you do everything together, a lot of spontaneous stuff too

lots of random sleepovers where you stay up way too late

you hang out so much, that the rest of the mx are just used to having you around

like an 8th member tbh

it gets to a point where you guys miss each other like crazy when his schedule is packed

and the guys tease that you might as well go out

but it's fine, you've both talked and thought about it (midnight chats is all I can say)

but you both know that you're more like siblings

and that's chill

like wonho, he just gets you

he knows when your sad, and exactly what to do

he'll have some takeout on speed dial and a shoulder to cry on

he's actually one of the most attentive people

and sometimes it makes you sad when people just assume he's a shallow idol

but you're just happy to have him in your life.

Kihyun:

(his lil’ smile i swEAr)

he's so sassy w you

he's literally like a middle aged mum

yes, so he's often ruthless but he gives the best advice

someone treating you like shit? cut them out

it makes him incredibly reliable

he's always got your back and is ready to stand up for you 

you guys wingman for each other too 

you pretend to be in a relationship to fend off unwanted ppl in clubs 

people think he's adorable but you know he's cut throat – and you love it

 yet, there are instances where you catch him cooing at a baby or a dog

despite appearances, he would literally drop everything for you 

he's loyal 

if something has happened to you, he's right there if you're crying and listening intently

he genuinely wants to give you the best advice possible 

he does love you, he just has v sarcastic ways of showing it

“i mean, if you were the last person on earth sure” 

and you roll your eyes and just continue 

probably will ask you weird questions at 3am 

doesn't get that you not responding means stop so he keeps going

he has a ripe selection of mugshots of you and will utilize them 

he's probably protective in a lowkey way, like he tries not to show it

he'll walk you home w the excuse “nothing else to do”

“for a sec, I almost thought u were showing affection!” and he'll scoff 

you nod in mock acknowledgement but ofc you think it's really sweet beneath the unending sass you will tease him with predebut mx and it's rich 

you always tell him you bias shownu just to irritate him

“he's not even that cute” he'll mutter bitterly

doesn't mean you won't have a funny picture of kihyun as your lock screen for months

Hyungwon:

(look at this dumb dork w his dumb ass smiley cute face what a dumb human)

one of your memeist friends

sends u dumb shit even if he's sat right next to you

also your laziest friend

if you guys arrange a time to meet, you always mentally add an extra 15 minutes

bc he's always late

he's also extremely sarcastic

even if it's just through an eye roll, he's a piece of shit

he's also a lil' awkward

you first met him through the rest of the guys, and he barely spoke

you just spotted a literal model on his phone in the corner

but as you were round there more, he let himself go

and came to know the lanky piece of shit u now tolerate

very much a love-hate friendship

from afar, it looks like you guys have no boundaries and you will say anything 

but both of you just toss it aside w “character building” and you laugh sometimes he's sweet and it surprises you (like w the kids ep in monsta x-ray omg) 

like he'll buy some food for a homeless man, or pull a funny face at a kid on the bus 

and you tease him about it again, just character building;)

he's silently supportive

he's not great at the words and talking bit, but he's happy to just sit and listen

or he will instantly know what to do, and just order some food before you say anything

so you know ppl are wrong when they say he's just a lazy and standoffish idol

but he's extremely good looking and you had to learn to avoid stares when you guys go out together

he probably has a gift he bought you abroad from 2 years ago

says he'll give it to you, but still forgets

you really hope it's not candy that went off months ago

as much as you love your best friend, you don't want mouldy sweets

Jooheon:

(cutest cutie that ever cutied)

funniest

whether he's making you laugh or you're laughing at him - he's funny

you guys were definitely childhood friends

and everyone loves him

your close family always talks about him, asks about him

he's like a brother you never had (as cheesy as that is)

most friends drift apart, especially w his idol career

but - you guys are the definition of inseparable

you met bc someone was picking on you at nursery and baby jooheon intervened

and since then, you guys have never been a part

he is v protective

even little things like accompanying you home when it's late

any partner he has to meet just to make sure they're good enough for you

you sometimes have to tell him you're okay on your own

and he'll apologise, that he's just looking out for you

he doesn't mind you ringing him at early hours when something's on your mind

and the same with you

when you guys hang out, it's simple

going out for a drive and just watching the sun go down

you'll blast your favourite music and enjoy each other's company

cheesycheesycheesy

it's like something out of a movie

he'll sometimes even treat you – like take you out to dinner or something

to say thanks for being such a good friend all this time

you tell him he's cheesy, that it's not necessary

but he just blushes a little and says it's no big deal

he's the boy you'll mum will nudge and say “oh isn't he lovely”

you'll roll your eyes and say“he's just my best friend”

but you've thought about it, trust me he's definitely thought about it

who knows, all I can say is that it could happen

I.M

( i fell in love w changkyun while writing this i am such a sap )

you guys are like the chillest pair of best friends known

that's probably bc lil' changkyun is definitely more the introvert

he would much rather retreat to his studio to unwind than go out

which you're all for

you guys sit for hours in his mini studio

you listen to his stuff, and you just beam as he talks about his passion

it just fills you w joy when your best friend is so talented and you get to hear it

you do have to bring him out of his shell a little

bc this dorky, funny side comes out that has you cackling

you guys get food together mainly

and he loves it when you cook

you also feel it your duty to take care of this smol

feed him, look after him bc he's still your lil' maknae although nobody thinks he is

but it's not patronising, he's completely chill w it

the guys joke that  he had/has a major crush on you

sometimes you question it, but he's like a younger brother to you

so you just throw something at minhyuk and jooheon to end the teasing

although changkyun always gets a tad shy when they mention it ??

there's never any arguments bc you guys are so alike

you have the same music taste, like the same foods, have the same opinions, watch the same tv shows and movies

it's really weird, but neither of you are complaining

makes life 10x easier !

he always feels super bad that he can't see you more

(which is v fucking cute fite me)

so he tries to plan these elaborate well thought out days for when he gets back

but he gets really bumbly and shy about it

bc it feels like a date but it isn't but he kinda hopes it is

so you guys always opt for a night long catch up w pizza

and you don't mind bc you're happy to see your fave human

i can assure you, so is he;)

hoped you guys enjooooyed! idk, this kind of helped me suss out their characters in my head a bit more - which is nice !! ty for reading <3

[synonym-for-life]

RULES

Always post the rules

Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

Write 11 questions of your own

Tag 11 people (or however many you want)

I am going to go Harry Potter the Rule Breaker on this and not tag anyone and also not write questions because I feel like everyone already did it/or was tagged and also because I’m at work

My answers are under the cut. Beware this is a looooong post (3 x 11 answers) and, as usual, I ramble a lot.

Tagged by the ever wonderful @dictacontrion

If you could have one billion dollars or the not (or only incidentally) profitable superpower of your choosing, which would you choose and why?  Ugh, this is a tough question. Just imagine all the good that you can do with a billion dollars! But I really think I would go with superpowers because even if they’d be useless it would feel a bit like magic, or like having a bit of magic in you and what Harry Potter fan does not wish to be magical at least a tiny bit?

What article of clothing makes you feel most awesome? First of all, what makes me feel the most awesome is a cool pair of shoes. But, that wasn’t the question so I gotta go with a newly acquired long black high slit skirt that I first wore yesterday and I felt bangin hot.

How did you get into your most recent fandom? Tbh my only fandom is the HP fandom, more accurately the drarry fandom and that’s it? Is that sad? Or does it just make me loyal? It honestly happened by mistake. I was looking through a HP forum in my native language and discovered a link to a page that had hp fics. I stumbled upon some drarry ones, was absolutely appalled by how people could put these two together because omg they hate each other, but then I continued reading them and it made more and more sense with every word I read and I've been a shipper ever since (it’s probs been more than a decade now).

What’s your least favorite/most hated book, and why?  The Sorrows of Young Werther by Goethe. I don’t like whiny people and Werther is the whiniest of them all. Just the extreme self-pity pervading those pages made me want to throw the book out of the window. Admittedly, I haven’t read it since teenage years, so I feel like I should give it another try to see if I’ll understand it differently. But let me just describe the scene that was probably a deal breaker: Lotte, the girl Werther has a crush on, or rather a strange obsession fueled by his idealistic image of her, is giving hungry children bread - so you see you have this girl doing what she wants, maybe considers her duty, being kind - and this useless dude is just staring at her instead of helping her and then proceeds to fall to his knees and cry into her lap sighing something like: ‘Lotte, oh Lotte, so kind, so precious, bla bla bla’ being all creepy and obsessed and useless and self-pitying at once. (pls don’t kill me if that’s not exactly how this scene goes, that’s how I remember it and I’m pretty sure it goes along these lines. It’s been years since I read it. I don’t like to hate on things but god I hated this book when I was forced to read it in school.)

Describe a fanwork you’d love to read/see/watch, but don’t want to create yourself, please? I would love a HP series that would go exactly like the books, scene by scene, exactly how it’s written. Otherwise, I would love to read some new Drarry fics featuring old magic and magical properties. Oh, and perhaps more Aurors on a mission abroad fics featuring magic particular to those areas they are in. Just more magical diversity, I guess?

What would be the lineup of your ideal music festival? I will pass this one because I don’t really go to festivals :/

You’re given the power to unilaterally create one law or policy in one country - what is it? Tax the arms and weapons industry until they would go bankrupt, which would cause the world to stop finding excuses to go to war just to fuel that corrupt industry. Also tax rich people so hard like you couldn’t believe.

If you had to commit to living in one place for the rest of your life, what would it be? I am one of the lucky bastards that can say: at home, where I was born. I could live there forever.<3

Thinking about your life a year from now, what’s one thing that you hope will be different? That I will be able to write more and faster and have more free time in general (I have been feeling as if I’m forcibly squeezing time for my family and friends into my tight schedule and I don’t like that. Work is not the most important thing there is to me, but it felt like I was focusing only on that this year :/ )

What’s one thing that you hope will be the same? I feel like my and my family’s health is pretty neat now so yeah...that.

What’s the last thing that made you laugh? Ok, something that made me laugh really hard for days was a thing that happened at work a few weeks ago. This wonderfully dressed man in his 30s comes in. Pants, suit, shirt, classy, elegant, handsome businessman. I work in retail (among other things), most precisely in a shoe shop. It was crowded when he started trying on shoes, so I was running around bringing shoes out to people. Then the crowd leaves. We are left alone and I notice his (most probably very expensive) pants have ripped down the seam of his behind. Like all the way. Like completely ripped to the point that I can now see his black boxers and the top of his thighs. I don’t know what to do. What if he knows? What if he’s just some weirdo in reality and doesn’t care? What if he already came in like that? Tears well up in my eyes, I start smirking, trying to contain my laughter while debating how to tell him. I have to turn away a couple of times. Then he notices. He is sitting down looking at his crotch and just whispers ‘’I ripped my pants.’’ And I can’t take it anymore. I start laughing. Hard. So here’s this dude half embarrassed, half amused and very very shocked and I’m laughing at him. And I can’t stop. You know the hysterical kind of laughter that bubbles out from you when you’re nervous, that’s how I was wheezing at him. Luckily, he too saw the humour in the situation and started laughing along and we ended up kind of bonding over this special moment. He was very chill about it too. He bought the shoes and left still chuckling while clutching a big shopping bag to his butt.

Tagged by the ever fantastic @devinesis

1. What’s something in this world that you just don’t understand and wish you could? I answered this once already (in an ask) and I said: people who don’t like animals. I really don’t get it. Besides that though, I don’t know how it can happen that you’ve been writing and saying a certain word in a certain way for your entire life, but then suddenly in your 20s or even later you figure out you’ve been writing/saying it wrong all this time and nobody ever corrected you??? Like wha?

2. What show or movie does everyone love and tell you to watch but you just hate no matter how many times you try? The Lord of the Rings *runs to hide under the bed* I just...I just always fall asleep *she whispers with a tremor in her voice*

3. The first book you ever really loved? (If it’s HP, cool, but you have to say something else, too. LOL) The first, first book? A tale about a cat that lives in a cat village that has cat waiters, cat butchers and cat criminals. I’m sure it doesn’t come as a surprise that I love cats? (written for children around 5y.o. btw)

4. If you were going to be in a relationship (platonic or sexual) for the rest of your life with a character from the Harry Potter universe, who would you choose? Shit. How dare you do this to me? Wth? WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT? a very good one but strangely distressing one Platonic: I want to be Dumbledore’s friend, I think we’d get along. Plus that would be the most interesting friendship ever. I also want to be friends with the twins and hang out with them all the time. That would be so much fun. Sexual: uhh no one? Idk. If I had to choose someone I think I’d be sexually compatible with, I’d probably choose Ginny or, strangely enough, I feel like me and Remus would match quite well hah

5. Your most hated book you were ever assigned to read in school? The Sorrows o Young Werther. Refer to the answer number 4 above for a true rant. Sorry, all Goethe lovers. I also really didn’t like Catcher in the Rye even though most people really dig it. I think it was, again, the whining aspect that bothered me the most.

6. If you had a personal uniform like a cartoon character, what would it be?I really don’t know?? I’m pretty sure I’d have a crop top though. I also imagine lots of leather straps and strings everywhere for some reason.

7. Where is your “happy place”? It tends to change, but anywhere in nature does it. But my happy places are mostly where my most loved people are at that moment so wherever my family or friends are and I’m with them it’s a happy place.

8. Favorite form of exercise? Lifting weights. Most specifically bench press. I really like deadlifts and biceps curls too though ... i already told you i've got too much ‘bro’ influence in my life

9. If you had a crush when you were, like, 12–14—looking back, is it embarrassing, or do you nod at your younger self in approval? It is embarrassing but not because who they were/what they looked like, but because how I acted towards them. I was really dumb.

10. What, for you, are the most hated and most enjoyable tasks of adulthood? I don’t particularly like to work, you see, but I do love being independent, so that’s kind of necessary. xD But the most hated task has got to be making my own phone calls. Yikes. I like to drive though? Does that count as a task?

11. What small-talk question do you most hate answering from strangers at a party? If it’s like a dancing party /club thing, I hate all of them because I came to dance and I cannot dance if I have to talk :D If it’s a mingling sort of thingy it depends on the intent. If someone is just trying to get into my pants or just, in general, doesn’t really care about anything I tell them, then even the most original questions won't work. If I feel like the person cares and the intent is good, then I don’t mind small talk!

Tagged by the ever amazing @serpensthesia

1. Not a question but post a picture of whatever you want.

(yes I took this photo)

Bonus: my cat in a pot.

2. What is something not enough people understand and you want to explain to me right now? Not many people understand that you can be a very outgoing, loud, happy, talkative, bubbly person, but still need enormous amounts of time for yourself. I don’t know whether that means you’re actually an introvert and I don’t care, but I need people to understand that I like being alone.

3. What is your favorite thing that you have ever studied (doesn’t have to be in school, or even studied formally)? Just reading up on quantum mechanics (with my limited knowledge of physics) has been mindblowing. and @serpensthesia I know I owe you an explanation about that already god i’m horrible i WILL explain but it will be long and probs essay-length :’D

4. You are suddenly allowed to keep one real, wild animal as a pet and it’s not going to kill you or hurt you, it’s just going to be sweet and awesome… what animal do you choose? I want a blast-ended skrewt a black panther. Second in line is a niffler sloth. Third in line is a dragon  giraffe.

5. Least favorite activity that you have grown to begrudgingly accept as necessary (and maybe even a little fun)? Writing to do lists/schedule in my planner. I have to mentally drag myself across an endless mental hallway to even begin, but I get such satisfaction out of it in the end. I like to pretend I have my life together.

6. Give past-you a cryptic message - no context, just the message: I don’t even know how to do cryptic. I would just say to myself: Rebel against yourself as much as you rebel against others, you are the final revolution in which you must not fail.

7. Who is your problematic fave and why do you love them so much? I don’t believe in problematic faves tbh...

8. You are trapped on a desert island. There is no escape. No one is coming to save you. You are going to die. What 3 things do you bring with you so that you can die happy? Hmm, a notebook, a pen, and a photo album of my most loved people, so that I will look at them when I’m dying and remember how much I love them and how happy I am that I have lived among them.

9. What 3 dumb as hell things make you stupidly, infectiously happy? I...fine...Jesus memes, ok. They are funny as hell.& Wearing a tiara.& Lying on the floor/ground and rolling around/pretending I’m a starfish. Works on asphalt too, alas hair gets dirtier like that. Only advisable when you can be ugly in peace for the whole day. i just realized i sound absolutely fucking mental jfc i SWEAR i am public friendly

10. What do you create? Awkward silences.

I don’t really, I just think I’m funny. I occasionally try to wring words out from my fingertips by tapping repeatedly on the keyboard and call it writing. I haven’t yet mastered it, but it’s been fun!

11. You’ve gone down the YouTube k-hole and have been binge watching nonsense for the past 2 hours. Where did you start? The last time this happened, I watched this video: Slav King, that my cousin sent me. It’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time, though it is a bit culture specific. But then...oh god, then I just continued clicking on these weird videos until I was in the part of the youtube where half the comments were in different Slavic languages, but you know that you still manage to understand a bit if you speak at least one of them, and like these videos were full of strange horrible-for-your ears music and awkward white people trying to dance while being all cool. Not to mention everyone kept calling each other tovarishch and comrade in the comments and I kept reading and reading the comments barely understanding anything until I realised in a daze what I’ve been doing for the last 2 hours and I just closed my laptop and stared at the wall for about 10 minutes before I regained any sense of self.

Now, if anyone actually read all of this, props to you. Also, tell me if you agree/disagree with me on any of these things. I love a good discussion!

[ryanonwrasslin-blog]

The Wrestling Optimist - March 30, 2017 - Wrestlemania Preview!!! Part 1

Welcome to my weekly, mostly optimistic, look at the wonderful world of professional wrestling. This came about because I’m working my hardest to stop being such a miserable smark, and this column is my best effort at both keeping myself honest and funneling out the various thoughts I have on wrestling. For the most part, this will be a WWE-themed piece every week, and it’s still evolving, but for now I think I’ve found a solid format. I urge you to join me in being a happier wrestling fan, whatever that may mean to you!

Theme of the Week

Mania is upon us! And the crowd goes mild! Rather than do a typical review of the shows this week, I’m going to focus my efforts on Wrestlemania for two reasons. 1) The go-home shows don’t have a whole lot to offer (Raw in particular), and even the good stuff is tied so heavily into Mania that it works better to just write one big piece. 2) I mean, it’s Mania. Why would I look backward? This is one of the more exciting times of the year, and certainly the most high-profile. I have a lot of thoughts about this year’s card, so let’s just dive right in, shall we?

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royale

The AMBAR or the ‘Dre, however you want to abbreviate it, has become a fun staple of Mania and an easy way to get everyone on the card. I also like that it’s building a nice legacy of winners with Cesaro, Big Show, and Baron Corbin the three winners to-date. We already have around 30 people confirmed for this event, and I imagine there will be a fun surprise or two, though no one of serious consequence. 

To me, barring an enormous surprise, there are only two possible entrants that could win this thing. And honestly, there’s really only one:

Braun should win and almost certainly will win, and given how little booking there has been for most of these guys, I imagine he’ll do most of the eliminating. But the other, very slim possibility?

Sami Zayn

If it wasn’t WWE, I’d say there was a huge payoff and pop waiting to happen with Sami shockingly eliminating Braun at the end to win. It wouldn’t hurt Braun if you make him look dominant during the match, but it could be a really big moment for Sami. But this is WWE, so...

The Pick: Braun Strowman eliminates half the entrants himself, we end up with a final three of Braun, Big Show, and Sami because WWE couldn’t give a fuck about Smackdown (this is going to be a theme). Braun eliminates both and starts on a path to a world title in 2017.

Austin Aries vs. Neville for the Cruiserweight Championship

I’m going to get to this with the Smackdown Women’s match, but I struggle with the Pre-Show designation for matches that are supposed to matter. I see the argument that it gives them significantly more time and a chance to do something memorable. But I really can’t get past the appearance that being on the Pre-Show makes these matches appear lesser.

In this particular case, though, I’m fine with the Cruiserweight match being on the pre-show. It’s a new division, and this is a nice building block, and this is a match that people should be really into because of how good these two are in the ring.

The Pick: Neville retains after a really strong, energetic match because Neville should hold this belt for like 6-plus months, look incredible throughout, and really build the division’s prestige up. And Aries is a great character that can take the loss.

Smackdown Women’s Championship Six-Pack

Okay, now I’m going to get upset. This match has no goddamn business being on the pre-show, and WWE is shitty as hell for putting it there while they continue to hype up the Women’s Revolution or what the fuck ever they call it. Hell, the same night it was announced this was on the pre-show, Stephanie McMahon had the nerve to retweet a story about the evolved state of women in the WWE. The whole women’s division’s handling this year is garbage, because the dirty little secret is that there were several great storylines in the women’s division they could have built for Mania matches in place of some of the garbage we’ll see on the main card, but instead they decided to pile them all into two matches, with only one on the main card.

I’m going to avoid too much fantasy booking here, though, so I’ll just say that the Smackdown women have been treated as second class by WWE since the beginning of the brand split, and for no goddamn reason at all. You can’t just expect the division to become important on its own, you have to occasionally give them the rub. Becky and Alexa have been doing great work since the brand split, Mickie has been a breath of fresh air and honestly might be the best female worker on the main roster (give me her over Bayley 1000x over), and Naomi was primed for a big pop at Mania. Having that match at night in Orlando and having Naomi’s entrance in a dark stadium would have been HYPED. To be frank, they utterly blew it, and I honestly can’t forgive it.

I couldn’t believe how mad I was when I heard the official word. I’d been bracing myself for it, but goddamn I was still furious when I saw the announcement. It sucks, and shows that WWE, for all their catchphrases, is still full of shit when it comes to truly supporting women’s wrestling.

/end rant

The Pick: I honestly don’t know. On the main card I would have picked Naomi for sure. But here, I think I’ll pick Becky to win, but mostly just because Becky is my personal soft spot for all things wrestling. I’d pick her to pin Braun Strowman if the opportunity came.

Ladder Match for the Raw Tag Team Championships

While I’m fresh off of the SDL women’s rant, here’s another one to bitch about. Why are six dudes with ground-based offense in a ladder match? What, is Sheamus gonna jump off the first rung and brogue kick someone? This is a waste of what’s usually a fun match.

Of course, it doesn’t help that WWE has lost all interest in booking coherent tag divisions on the main roster. I honestly had to think for a moment to remember which team held the belts and I watch the show every week.

Why couldn’t we have given this to the SDL women and have Alexa hit a Twisted Bliss off a ladder, or get a Mick Kick knock someone off the second rung, or Naomi do something bonkers-ass good from the top of the thing?

The Pick: Ugh, I guess Enzo and Cass. This likely will lead the show, and Cesaro will probably do some cool offense because he’s f-ing Cesaro, but the rest of the match will be a letdown. Unless, of course, it turns into a certain Broken ladder match, in which case I’ll retract all complaints.

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

I’ve talked myself into this match so long as it ends with an AJ win and so long as the “Shane Spot” is cool but doesn’t damned near kill poor AJ. I won’t require it, but I do hope we get a long stretch of AJ just beating the shit out of Shane and dominating the match.

Hell, you can even use it to get to a Shane Spot. Have AJ beat Shane so bad he gets overconfident and leaves himself vulnerable to a Shane comeback that leads to Shane, like, climbing to the moon and jumping.

The Pick: AJ, obviously. Shane misses his big jump, AJ throws him through something dangerous, like a Wrestlemania sign, and the ref stops the match.

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho for the US Championship

Easily the best told story in all of the Mania card. I’m excited for this match and I hope they’re smart enough to give it the necessary time. No one needs Shane/ AJ, Taker/ Reigns, or Trips/ Rollins to go 20+ minutes. Give this thing at least 15 in the ring and I fully expect it will turn out as the best match on the card by a lot.

The Pick: Owens wins in an all-time classic, and god willing, starts defending the US Title almost every Monday night.

Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin for the Intercontinental Championship

When they were fighting with construction equipment backstage, I was excited for this match. I thought for certain that we’d be getting some ridiculous, fun, hardcore-style match that would see them fight backstage and let Ambrose do some of the bonkers stuff he wanted to do with Lesnar last year.

But since then, WWE has farted around with this feud and it now seems like it’s just a regular singles match. What a drag. Ambrose is best when he’s either in a blood feud or when he’s fighting outside of the ring. This feels like neither, and I’m worried this match might not be very good.

The Pick: Corbin wins for sure. WWE clearly likes the guy and wants to get him closer to the main event.

Triple H vs. Seth Rollins in an unsanctioned match

If it’s really unsanctioned, we shouldn’t be getting some over the top Trips entrance, right? Right? Oh, yeah, never mind. In all seriousness, Trips’ entrances at Mania are always among the high points of any show. I can’t even imagine what’s coming this year.

The real question this year is what happens with this unspoken faction that’s emerged with Trips, SmoJo, and KO. And seeing as how Samoa Joe isn’t booked anywhere else, there’s like a 99% chance he shows up in a big way here, right? But how does Rollins answer that? No matter how great you want Seth to look, you can’t expect him to beat SmoJo and Trips both. Are we in for a surprise on Seth’s side? I honestly can’t figure this one out, but I’m intrigued to see what they do.

The Pick: Seth wins, right? There’s no way Trips would put himself over. I think? I guess? Alright, yeah, if this faction is going somewhere, he might. Still, I’ll stick with Seth with some surprise help.

John Cena and Nikki Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse

Man, I’ve done the full pendulum with this one. At first, I was cringing when rumors were leaking out about this. And then Miz and Maryse did the work of a lifetime getting me excited by repeatedly wrecking Cena’s shit on the mic, culminating with Total Bellas Bullshit. But then, Cena’s return-fire promo on Smackdown Live last week smirked away all consequences of the feud and left me certain that this only ends one way.

The Pick: LOL Cena Wins. And probably not just win. I fear Cena is gonna show weakness for like a minute total, Nikki is gonna fuck Maryse’s shit up (even though Maryse was a pretty decent wrestler once upon a time) and these two are gonna win in the most insufferable way.

Elimination Match for the Raw Women’s Championship

Man, I’m nervous about this one, and about the Raw Women in general. This title has been inconsistent and overbooked since Summerslam and I’m worried this is going to be the culmination of that. Bayley has been, quite frankly, a botchy, nervous mess since her call-up and I don’t know that Wrestlemania is going to do anything to calm those nerves. Meanwhile, I’d guess we’re less than a week away from Sasha nailing a backstabber on Bayley and getting that heel turn, but in the meantime, Sasha’s been weird about this Bayley thing.

Nia has been fine in limited moments, but I don’t know what to think of her in a Mania match. It’s really going to come down to how much Charlotte and Sasha’s instincts can carry this thing. I worry this will end up being a letdown.

The Pick: Bayley retains if only so that we can get the Sasha heel turn.

Roman Reigns vs. The Undertaker

Ughhhhh. I just do not care about this one. Ideally, Reigns will pose and snarl over ‘Taker’s wrecked body, soaking in the boos from the crowd and flipping them the finger. Anything other than that, anything that keeps Reigns as a tweener or whatever the fuck alignment he is now, is going to suck.

The Pick: I guess Reigns, right? It’s hard to believe, and it’s honestly not going to do much for him, but Reigns ain’t losing, right?

Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt for the WWE Championship

That this isn’t the main event is lame. Lesnar and Goldie don’t give a fuck about WWE and in two years, I’d wager neither one will still be in the company. Orton has enough star power to merit a main event and that could do wonders for Wyatt’s stature.

Alas, we just have to know that it should be the main event. Though their prior encounter wasn’t much to get excited about, I have high hopes for this. They likely held back in their prior match given that they knew an alignment switch was coming.

As for the result, I’m torn. Wyatt just got the belt and could really use a longer reign to solidify himself. But Orton is Orton, and WWE has to like the thought of him anchoring Smackdown even if I’m nervous as hell about what they’ll do with him once this Wyatt business is concluded.

The Pick: Fuck it, I’m picking Wyatt. He needs a Mania win.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE Universal Championship

I remain surprised that the WWE fans haven’t started shitting on this in the build to Mania. At this point, it probably won’t happen, though if the match stretches on for too long, it’s a distinct possibility.

But WWE is smart. This match won’t get even eight minutes, I predict, and half of that will be spent either glaring at each other or waiting for their competitor to get back to their feet.

The Pick: Lesnar ducks an early spear and the tide turns quickly against Goldberg. Maybe he gets a few clubbing shots in, but Lesnar wins in very strong fashion. And here’s hoping Lesnar doesn’t disappear until Summerslam afterward.

That’s it for this week. Here’s hoping Mania is at least tolerable! And hey, if nothing else, Raw and Smackdown should be fucking LIT next week. Until then...