#which is an incredibly concerning statement to type lmao just realized that as i typed it
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staring into the middle distance w/ dread so hard
#damien.txt#little vent moment in the tags lol#i have a phone interview tomorrow and it got me sitting here like 😵💫#and by tomorrow i mean today. it's 3 a.m. send help <3#i've never done a phone interview before tbh. and phone calls make me fucking anxious anyways. so. fun.#it's soooo low stakes tho like i really shouldn't be pressed abt it. but im also incapable of not being pressed abt it. so.#ahahaha anyways. currently uh. suffering. bc. i keep trying to change my habits and it's not working!#i just want to be a vaguely functional human being. which is a low af bar but literally it feels like#i am jumping for it and not even getting close to reaching it#everytime im like 'oh maybe things are getting a little better' they immediately plummet and go badly again#and. fuck bro. i literally don't know what to do about this at this point. like it feels impossible to get out of#which is an incredibly concerning statement to type lmao just realized that as i typed it#don't worry! am not going to sewerslide. as the kids say#but truly the level of not really living i am doing atm is. surely something!#anyways. going to. try and sleep. but. the anxiety of it all might be a bit much. AHHHHHHHHH-
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