#which ironically probably helped keep my blood pressure slightly higher

[iamnotyourbabe]

really mad i have to start manually tensing my abs again. oh well,

[acti-veg]

Cheap Vegan Essentials

With everything going on right now, I thought may be useful to repost an edited version of my list of cheap vegan groceries. Most of this is standard stuff but if you’re used to ready meals and faux meats but you can’t get them with the panic buying, this post may prove helpful to you. A lot of these have a really long shelf life as well, so they will be useful if you end up isolating. You may struggle to find some of these items with people clearing the shelves, but it will hopefully help to know what to keep a look out for. Just please avoid stockpiling. It is sensible to have these items in your cupboard but you should only buy what you need.

Rice: Rice is an extremely cheap and filling staple. A cup of rice contains roughly 45 grams of carbohydrates and 4-5 grams of protein. In an airtight container it lasts at least 6 months.

Beans: Beans are one of the most accessible protein sources and have been a staple around the world for thousands of years. Just one cup of soybeans, for example, contains a massive 28.62 grams of protein, while even standard baked beans contain around 14 grams. They also contain lysine, which is missing from most other plant sources.

Chickpeas: Chickpeas can be purchased very cheaply canned, and in large bags in bulk if you’re willing to prep them yourself. Each cup contains about 15 grams of protein, tonnes of fibre as well as magnesium and folate.

Lentils: Similar to chickpeas, lentils can be bought canned or in large bags. A cup of cooked lentils contains a massive 18 grams of protein, they also lower cholesterol, improve heart health and help stabilise blood sugar.

Oats: Oats are very cheap, can be bought in bulk and have great shelf life. They are high in protein, fibre, and B12; they are even thought to help lower blood pressure and cholesterol.

Cereals: Most cereals, especially supermarket’s own brand products are very cheap. Whole grain cereals like bran or oat based products are high in fiber, calcium and iron, and most are fortified with B vitamins.

Pasta: Pasta is another great product to always have on hand, it is one of the least expensive items in any supermarket, can be bought in bulk and has a very long shelf life. Depending on the type, pasta can be a good source of fibre and carbohydrates; it is a high energy food and is very filling.

Potatoes: Potatoes are one of the cheapest foods available in most supermarkets, at an average of just $0.56 per pound. They are versatile, filling and despite their reputation as unhealthy, they are an excellent source B6 and a good source of potassium, copper, vitamin C, manganese, phosphorus, niacin, dietary fiber, and pantothenic acid.

Sweet potatoes: Sweet potatoes are as versatile as white potatoes, are high in vitamins B6, C, D, iron, magnesium and potassium. They’re also a more balanced source of energy than white potatoes, as their natural sugars release slowly, avoiding blood-sugar spikes.

Noodles: Many varieties of noodles are vegan, they are very cheap and last a long time. Noodles are very filling and contain high levels of B vitamins, vitamin E, magnesium, iron, riboflavin, and calcium.

Nut butters: Depending on the type, nut butters can be purchased very cheaply. It has a surprisingly good shelf life, is an excellent source of heart healthy fats and is very high in protein.

Falafel: Falafel is usually cheap to buy pre-made but it is even cheaper when made at home just using chickpeas and spices. It is filling, can be used to make great vegan burgers and is a good source of protein, fat and soluble fibre.

Hummus: Though buying pre-prepared hummus is usually relatively cheap, it is far more cost effective to make your own in larger quantities, depending on the recipe you usually only need chickpeas, tahini and lemon.

Couscous: Couscous can be great in salad or as its own side dish, it is cheap to buy and is a convenient option since it is so easy to prepare. It is a good source of lean protein, dietary fibre and B vitamins.

Tofu: Tofu has an odd reputation for being expensive, quite probably among people who have never bought it. Tofu has been a Chinese staple for thousands of years, it is now widely available in supermarkets and is far cheaper than comparable animal products, averaging less than $2 per pound. It is filling and is high in both protein and calcium. If you find it expensive in your local supermarket, try a Chinese market or world foods store. It will keep for months if you freeze it.

Tempeh: Tempeh is similar to tofu in price and use, but has a different texture and slightly different nutritional properties. The fermentation process and its retention of the whole bean give it a higher content of protein, dietary fibre and vitamins compared to tofu, as well as firmer texture and a stronger flavour.

Seitan: Seitan is made with wheat gluten and is extremely high in protein, as well as being one of the cheapest sources of protein per dollar when made at home and is around the same price as low quality beef in stores. It has a steaky texture and is very filling.

Frozen fruit/vegetables: Large bags of mixed frozen vegetables can be bought extremely cheaply almost anywhere. Despite popular opinion to the contrary, frozen vegetables are almost as healthy as fresh produce since they are frozen while fresh and don’t endure the loss of nutrients associated with long travel and extended shelf time. Frozen fruit like mixed berries can be a cheap way to prepare smoothies or dessert.

Canned fruit/vegetables: Having a few cans of fruit or vegetables around is always a good idea, things like canned tomatoes or corn can be a side on their own, canned peaches or orange pieces are an instant dessert and canned tomatoes can be used to make sauces.

Bananas: Bananas are one of the cheapest fruits available and deserve a mention based on their nutritional value and their versatility. They can be used in desserts, as a healthy snack and can be used to make cheap vegan ice cream.

Citrus Fruits: Citrus fruits like lemon, orange and limes are cheap to buy in bunches, especially when in season and can be eaten as a healthy snack or used as a cheap way to add flavour to existing dishes.

Vegetable stock: Vegetable stock is good to have around for a variety of purposes; it will add flavour to any dish from gravies to soups and roast dinners. It is extremely cheap and relatively healthy if you go for a low sodium option. It is even cheaper if you make it yourself from leftovers or trimmings.

Olives: Olives are a healthy source of fat, they are thought to have anti-inflammatory properties and contribute to good health health, as well as being good sources of iron. They can be bought in large jars very cheaply and can be a healthy snack.

Olive Oil: Thought to be the healthiest oil to cook with, it is heart healthy and can be used to add flavour to a variety of dishes like pastas and salad.

Spinach: Spinach is often called a super-food in terms of nutritional content, it is is high in niacin and zinc, as well as protein, fiber, calcium, iron and a multitude of vitamins. You can also buy large bags of pre-prepared spinach very cheaply.

Kale: It has a different flavour and texture to spinach, but has similar uses. It is a great source of dietary fibre and is packed with nutrients, vitamins, folate and magnesium. Even a 500g bag should only set you back around $2.50.

Bread: Many new vegans assume bread is off limits, but many breads are vegan. Even speciality loafs are very cheap considering the amount of meals they can contribute towards, and they can be a good source of carbohydrates and protein. It will keep for 3-6 months if you freeze it.

Plant Milks: Plant milks have an undeserved reputation for being expensive, this is only in comparison to heavily subsidised dairy milks, though even then the price is comparable, in fact, some supermarket’s own brands are even cheaper. Plant milks are packed with calcium and are usually supplemented with vitamins B6 and B12.

Non-Dairy Spreads: Non-dairy spreads can be made form a variety of sources, from soy or olives to coconut oil. They tend to be comparable to dairy butter in terms of calcium, but without the unhealthy fats and cholesterol. They are usually priced similarly or cheaper than their dairy counterparts.

Peppers: Peppers tend to be very cheap to pick up in large bags, particularly bell peppers. They can be stretched over several meals, and can add flavour and texture to curries, stir fries and salads.

Nutritional Yeast: Seen as something of a speciality health food, nutritional yeast is actually very cheap, lasts a long time and is one of the best sources of vitamin B12. It has a nutty, cheesy taste, so you can use it in place of anything you’d usually sprinkle cheese on. It is also great in soups and when used to make “cheesy”, creamy sauces.

Flax seeds: Each tablespoon of ground flax seed contains about 1.8 grams of omega-3s. It is included in this list as they make a great egg substitute in baking, can be sprinkled on cereal, yogurt or oatmeal. It is cheap to buy, and even a small packet lasts a long time.

Dark chocolate: Dark chocolate is not only far healthier than milk chocolate, it is usually cheaper to buy in the same quantities and is far more filling. It is versatile for use in baking and desserts and is a healthy snack in small quantities.

Selected Produce: Fresh vegetables are not always expensive. Seasonal vegetables are usually cheap in most supermarkets, but some vegetables like carrots, turnips, onions, cabbage and cauliflower are inexpensive all year round, and can often be bought on offer or as “irregular” (but still perfectly edible) for even less.

Herbs and Spices: Having a range of spices on hand is always a good idea; things like cumin and garlic can add depth and flavour to simple meals and they last a very long time. Investing in a good spice rack and some curry powder will save you money in the long term.

Stay safe everyone, and please check in on your vulnerable friends, family members and neighbours. I am always around if you need any advice, resources, accessible recipes or just a bit of a chat to help with the stress. Take care of yourselves and each other.

[terracottaalchemist]

Merry Christmas @hexalianrebel-blackfeathers !!

I'm a little rusty with my writing but I hope you like it! Happy Squealing Santa

Special thanks to @ticklygiggles for organizing everything❤️

🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄🎁🎄

The Grand Highblood was a name that churned every sane troll's stomach. Ruthless, unpredictable, purple blood twisted inside him, cold, fueling a strength only rivaled by the Royal seadwellers. Signless could deal with the cruelty of the Empress, handle the attacks from his voilet oppressors, but not this. Nothing could have prepared him for this.

Signless tugged once again at the sharp, iron cuffs on his hands, thick and noisy in the silent cell. He had always known that one day his luck would run out, that he would finally be captured, but there was gratitude in his heart that the subjugglers left his friends and followers alone. So long as he kept quiet, he would be executed with the knowledge of where Dolarosa, Deciple, and Psiioniic were going safely tucked in his soul.

His feet were bound in frigid chains, sharp on the bones of his ankles. A small light shone overhead, enough to glint off the rusted bars, but not the concrete floor. He could see every exhale curl through the air in white smoke. So cold.

At the very least, Signless could hear every time the guard came within 20 meters of his cell from the sheer weight of his leather footsteps. His stomach gurgled for more of the grub paste he'd been given yesterday, but his tongue prickled preemptively with the phantom taste of bitter acid and bile. The guard stepped into view behind the row of bars, but there was no grub paste. Just keys as they jangled around the lock on the door, which opened with a piercing whine. The guard grunted, motioning with his hand to come closer, clutching a familiar black cloth.

Two guards, ahead and behind him, led Signless through the halls on two chain leashes. The blindfold was tied tightly to his face, forcing his focus to the tiles under his bare soles, the rough material of the unwashed trousers he was given, and the chains. As they climbed an oak staircase, the temperate rose to a more comfortable chill. Signless sighed, but chokes on a sudden, harsh tug backwards. They stopped. A hard knock rang against wood close to his head, but he couldn't move away if he tried. The door opened with a dull click and Signless was lead inside.

Living all his life as a renegade, Signless considered his senses to be rather sharp. But he was preoccupied with the chains on his wrists being pulled over his head so harshly that his heels barely brushed the floor. Far too preoccupied to hear the even more massive boots against the floor until they were far too close.

"That's enough, motherfucker."

That voice. Everyone knew that voice. Signless shifted his weight back, but the chain holding him up was taut and heavy. He hung there, swaying, like an oink beast carcass.

The blindfold was yanked down to his neck, colours and lights striking his mutated eyes. Signless blinked into focus, and took in the sheer sight that was The Grand Highblood. Doubling Signless' height, his wild hair framed his shoulders and wavy horns, adding even more height. Blood-curling, white paint stuck to his face, applied with careful detail to resemble the teeth of a deep-sea horror. With a sway in his step, The Grand Highblood began circling around his prized prisoner.

"You're real fuckin' short, aren't you?"

Signless turned to look at him, but kept his mouth shut. There is only one reason to keep a troll like himself alive, after all, even if it's only for the time being. He would not crack. He couldn't. A sharp slap cut across his cheek, the mark flushing an offensive red. Signless hadn't even see him move.

"Let's make one thing motherfucking clear," Grand Highblood spat. "When I ask you a question, you best give me an answer. Understand?"

Signless licked his lips, his jaw pulsing from the single, half-hazard strike. "Yes."

"Good." He pulled the blindfold back up with a single claw, this time allowing more light to seep through. There was a snap of fingers, a grunt of acknowledgment, and the rough scraping of wood on stone as some sort of furniture was dragged closer, just out of Signless' kicking range.

"Now then, let's not waste any more motherfucking god damn time." The three seconds of silence stretch between them, tensing like a rubber band until it snaps around the Grand Highblood's words. "Where are your apostles?"

Signless gripped back his displays of relief. His friends had not been found, nor will they be without his help. He was the only one on Alternia that knew where they were, and he swore to keep it that way, regardless of the cost.

"Maybe you didn't hear me." He circled again, but much slower, coming to a stop directly behind Signless. "Shit, I'm feeling downright merciful today, so I'll repeat myself one more motherfucking time. Where are your fucking apostles, mutant?"

Signless forced down a shiver, tugging gently at his wrists one more time. Not a chance.

"I was hoping you'd say that. Now I get to have me some motherfucking entertainment!"

Sharp, unkept nails skittered up his defenceless sides, forcing a surprised giggle from the preacher's lips. What on Alternia?

"Honk! Look how sensitive you are! Your skin is even weaker than that of a Rustie, already turning red. What a motherfucking miracle! It must be my hatching day all up in this bitch!"

Signless squirmed, feeling 1000 times more exposed than he did before. Every memory of being tickled absolutely senseless flashed through his eyes, each filled with more tears than the last. Psi had been his most common assaulter. On the bright side, no bodily harm would come to him this way. He just had to bear it until he finds a way to escape, and said escape won't be hindered by serious inquiries. A slight grin tugged at his lips as he clenched his jaw. A little tickling never killed anyone.

Without warning, two pairs of knuckles slotted themselves between his grub scars and dug furiously. Lightning shot through his nerves straight to his spine, his sense of touch heightened by the loss of vision. A guffaw tore out of Signless' throat before he could clamp his mouth shut, as he kicked off the floor to escape the sensations. It tickled so bad, so so bad. But he wouldn't dare laugh.

"Oho, a fighter! You can try that shit for now, but once you're all burnt out, you'll break easy. You're helpless."

Signless bit his lip harder, calves and shoulders quickly protesting all his movement. The knuckles dropped to his bottom ribs, continuing their ministrations. Finally, laughter broke free like water to a dam, harsh and powerful with the pressure. Shame burned his cheeks. Signless spun sideways to throw off the attacker's hands, but Grand Highblood quickly dragged him back into place. The millisecond of relief only allowed him to regret thinking this form of torture would be easy.

"Ha! You think you can escape, bitch? You're weak. I don't even know your worst spots yet."

"Hahahahahaha, oh fuhuhuck!" Nuckles turned to claws as they traveled up and down his sides, spidering quickly. Down to his hips, up, down, up, down, and up further to his lower ribs, still buzzing and flushed. Suddenly, each trip down was a promise to explore higher and higher, until both hands slid way too high to attack his armpits.

"AHAHA! No, nohoho fuck ohofff!" Signless squealed, thrashing as best he could but failing to lower his arms at all. He curled one knee up as high as he could, but it only threw him off balance as pain stabbed at his shoulders. He was truly, utterly, trapped.

The Grand Highblood chuckled darkly behind him. "Is it too much already? How motherfucking pathetic."

His fingers skittered across his torso and sides for what felt like hours and hours, until Signless' laughs became gasps and chokes, eyes falling in and out of focus. Whenever he got even slightly used to the sensation, Grand Highblood would just switch spots.

"HAHA....ahaAA.. p.. ehehaha .pleheheease!"

"You know how to make it stop, motherfucker. Where did they run off to?"

The temptation was there, as much as it pained him. The tickling was too much, he was going crazy. "I-ahaha! C-c-ahan't!"

A rough growl cut through the air, and the tickling stopped. The hands held his ribs roughly, but he finally caught his breathe in progressively deeper inhales. The relief was short lived, however, as two more footspets got closer. Probably more guards, but he still couldn't see for himself.

Seconds later, the tickling resumed threefold. Thirty fingers danced across his skin, in his armpits, ribs, and the rest were fluttering across his belly and squeezing his hips. He heard a girl chuckling at him, and a small "oh" from a young man.

Kids, 8 sweeps at most. With renewed energy, Signless' bucked hard, shaking his head side to side as he began kicking at whoever was in front of him. The first missed, but the second came into contact with a clothes torso. Instead of launching his assaulter back, his ankle was yanked forwards and caught between their body and arm. Stupid highblood strength!

Sharp nails teased his arch skillfully and he shrieked.

"Ooh, boss! Looks like I found a good one!" She said with more giggling.

"Good work, bitch. Keep it up," The Grandhighblood repied.

With one foot in the air, Signless' struggling turned into pathetic twitches and jolts. He scrunched his toes as hard as he could, but the girl simply pried them back and continued. When she reached under his toes, tears started forming in his eyes.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA- AAAAA NOHOHOHO!! nOT THEEEHEHERE!"

"Not where? Here? Are your toes reeeally bad? Is that a really /ticklish/ spot for you?" She teased.

Heat dripped down his neck in embarrassment, even his back began flushing.

"Oh, do you not like that word? Tickle? But you're so ticklish! Tickle tickle tickle, I bet it feels sooo baaaddd~"

"Aha, hahaha! Dohhohoon't!" He pleaded.

"Don't what?"

"Mock meehehe!"

He could feel the venom dripping from her voice. "Mock you? If you wish!"

"Enough, child." The Grand Highblood interrupted. "He needs to focus."

She didn't respond but she dropped his leg. His hypersensitive toes barely brushed the floor before she yanked his other from underneath him, raking her nails over his entire sole hard and fast.

At the same time, the quiet boy shifted his hands down to squeeze at Signless' defenceless thigh.

"NOOOOOHOHOHOA! HAHAHAHA!"

Grand highblood continued to switch from spiders to digs and jabs at his armpits, while the other two scratched and squeezed his shaking legs and feet. After only a few minutes, white flickers of light bloomed under Signless' eyelids, head spinning as it forced his every breath out in raw, desperate laughter. His lungs began to burn.

"no- hahahhaha, nnhaha..noho more..no mohohoore!"

"You can make this all go away, motherfucker. Just tell is where they are and we'll stop."

"haha....n..no.."

"We won't stop until you're fucking dead. But it's gonna be a looking time till this gets you. Weeks, maybe even months"

Signless shuddered, body limp from exhaustion as all three of them tickled both his sensitive sides without care for his pleading.

"Or, you could spare yourself all the trouble now...and we'll make sure your end is swift and painless. You're finished anyways, and we'll find your followers with or without your help. So why suffer?"

His eyes rolled around in his skull, head pointing with blood lacking oxygen. His laugher fell quiet ages ago, but as it became silent his senses began to fail.

"Where are those motherfuckers hiding?"

Body numb and buzzing all at once, Signless forced one last breath through his aching throat, before the sweep lull of unconsciousness took him.

"..if that's what it takes, I will be their sufferer."

[banashee]

My first story from my @badthingshappenbingo​ card.

*+~

 Fixing the damage

 The pain is overwhelming and nauseating.

 Steve is faintly realizing that he is no longer trapped under the rubble of a collapsed building, but somewhere white and bright that smells of antiseptic - probably a hospital. He squeezes his eyes back shut, trying to breathe.

  It eases his mind, a little bit, just for a few seconds before the worry hits him once again. His mind is sluggish, but just now it comes back to him that he wasn't alone under the steel and stones.

 *+~

     The warehouse breaks down faster than anybody is even able to react - at the time, Steve is in there with Clint because the mission had lead them there while the rest of the team takes care of the threats outside. But suddenly, there is an explosion and the walls and ceilings around them crumble down. There is no time left to think, and Steve reacts lightning fast and instinctively - he throws himself right over Clint, shielding im with his own body in an attempt to keep the damage minimal. His own chances to survive this, to survive the injuries, is one hell of a lot higher than his very human teammates.  

     Both of them curse violently, and a moment later, the dust settles slowly.  

     Steve is right over Clint, propped up on his arms even though they are now in odd, unnatural angles. A heavy piece of rubble is pressing down on his back and he is bleeding, judging from the sudden wetness under his uniform and the stabbing pain that creeps through him. His ribs feel broken, too. Steve is in pain and shaking with it, but he keeps going, keeps himself up to protect them both from getting crushed.  

     Some of the blood drips down from his face, red droplets a stark contrast to his friends pale skin.  

     For the fraction of a second, there is panic on Clint’s face, then he visibly calms himself, breathing even as to not waste any air while they’re buried down here. They’re pressed close to each other, but there is a bit of room filled with precious air in between them - they’ll have to make the best of it until their team can get them out.  

     Loud voices over the comms let them know that they are onto it. They’ll get them out, but it sounds frantic in their ears. All they can do is trust them.  

     Steve is tired, and he really wants to close his eyes, but he can’t.  

             “Hey.” Clint’s voice sounds softly from underneath him, “Don’t pass out on me, Cap. Keep talking.”  

     “About what?” he manages, voice scratchy.  

     “Tell me a story. Complain about the turn of events or bitch about the patriarchy. Anything as long as you stay awake, Steve.”  

     And he must be trying, but he really doesn’t know what he is even saying - everything's a blur and he couldn’t tell which way is up or down.  

     If it’s been minutes or hours or even longer - Steve doesn’t know.  

 *+~

 In the fog of pain, Steve can make out voices.

 He recognizes his team, and it sounds like most if not all of them are there - immediate relief fills him, because it means they are alive. There is also the voice from somebody that his sluggish brain faintly recognizes as a doctor he might have met a few times before - SI, not SHIELD.

 She talks about broken bones and healing powers, about partially healed injuries that went back together wrong due to the time it took to get him out from under the building. She talks about having to re-break bones.

 Even in this state of mind, it sends an icy shower down his spine and Steve just knows what it means - and even if he didn’t, the passionate “Fuck!” that sounds very much like Tony tells him enough.

 There are no sedatives that work on him. He might pass out from pain if he’s lucky, but there is no single chemical in the world, as far as they know, that puts him under or is able to relief pain. His enchanted metabolism burns through everything way too quickly to even begin to work.

 Steve can feel his heartbeat speed up, and faintly he can make out the conversation next to his bed, because he forces himself to.

 “We’ll need your strongest ones. Since Dr. Banner is currently passed out it will have to be you, Thor. And you too, Mr. Stark. Please get on your suit.”

 He can hear how Tony swallows audibly and says, “Oh God. This is wrong, so, so wrong.”

 “There is no other way, I’m afraid.” Answers the doctor, and she does sound sympathetic. “The longer we wait now, the worse it will get. I don’t think any of you would want his injuries to heal wrong, it will only cause him more pain and problems, and eventually this will have to get done - better do it now than later.”

 There is a long beat of uncomfortable silence in the room, and then the bed dips down with the weight of another person, settling down by his head, and calloused hands gently touching him until Steve’s head is pillowed on somebody's lap.

 “Agent Barton, maybe you should go back to bed while-”

 “Make me. I dare you to fucking try it.” Clint bites back without letting the doctor even finish the sentence. It is obvious he won’t go anywhere and Steve is grateful for it - he automatically leans into the touch of the hand that’s running through his hair reassuringly.

 The next few minutes are agony.

 Steve can feel the pressure on his body, bones breaking under it with noises that will stay with him for a long time and leave the whole room with dread. Voices around him are talking, but he can’t make out the words - he is too busy trying to keep himself from screaming. If he had to guess, it is probably a mixture of calm instructions, reassurances and apologizes for causing him more pain.

 There are intervals where bones are broken again, then he gets a small pause where his bones are set into place and held with casts and bandages, right away as to avoid them starting to heal again before they’re straight again.

  Later, Steve will think back on this, unable to decide which would be worse - having to have partially healed bones re-broken to set them, or having to be the one to cause a friend pain in this way, even when it is to help them.

 If he was able to, he would hold onto Clint with the one hand that still works somewhat, but straining his arm hurts too much. So his fingers spasm for something to grip, and they are soon held by a warm hand, grip light as to not hurt him further, but firm enough to be reassuring, thumb softly rubbing over the side of his own hand.

 A sharp push on his ribs sends another wave of pain through his entire body. Air leaves his lungs, and he can hear, “Breathe, keep breathing.” next to his ear, and he tries to accommodate. Somehow, he manages to breathe again, gasping for air, really, but there are now tears pooling in the corners of his eyes and he finds himself unable to stop them and they soak into the soft fabric of the pants where his head still rests, now running free after the pressure finally stops and the doctor leaves the room, leaving Steve in the care of his friends.

 The whirring sounds of the Iron Man suit tell him that it gets taken off, quick footsteps running for the bathroom and shortly after, he can hear Tony retching and throw up into the toilet.

 Steve can feel his bed dip down once again, and he is faintly aware that Thor just sat down by his feet, gently placing one of his enormous hands on his uninjured calf in an comforting gesture, talking. His mind is clearing up, now that the worst is over, and he rasps out a “thank you.” which is met with a sad hum, and Thor says,

 “Please do not thank me for this - I am sorry to cause you more pain, my friend, even when it was only to help.” After a short pause he continues, “Rest now, we will keep you company.”

 Steve nods, but is unable to fall asleep, so he dozes a bit, Thor by the end of his bed and with Clint still running a hand through his hair. He’s tense and trying to hide it, but Steve can feel it now. He wants to ask him if he is okay, but before he can gather his thoughts and voice for this, the bathroom door opens again, and Tony emerges. He sits down next to Steve, apologizing a million times before he starts rambling. It’s oddly familiar and comforting, the quick string of words at least, and it makes him smile a bit.

 “Can you stay here for a bit?” He can then hear Clint ask, which is clearly directed at Tony, who gives an affirmative answer. Then the archer gets up from his spot, and then the bathroom door shuts quickly. They can still hear him throwing up - Steve feels sorry for his friends and their reaction to this, but he knows they won’t want to hear it.

 Clint’s spot is quickly taken by Tony. His touch feels different, not only because his hands are slightly smaller than Clint’s and his movements more restless than calm, but it is just as comforting to feel him close by. Steve still doesn’t allow himself to sleep yet.

 A few more minutes tick by, and he can hear his friends talk. Clint must have come back by now, because Thor says,

 “You should rest, you are still concussed.” which is met with half hearted protest but Tony interrupts him.

 “Thor is here, I’m here. My fucking suit is here. Knowing the others, they’ll be here soon as well. Lie down, sleep. We’ll keep watch.”

 And surprisingly enough, he does.

 Clint carefully stretches out next to Steve, because good luck getting him to leave him right now. Steve knows that he feels responsible for his injuries, because he’s been protecting him. It’s a talk they’ll have later, when the world is less fuzzy and less painful.

 For now, he’s happy to have a warm body next to him, carefully touching, and two other friends in the room with them to keep watch.

 Now, he finally allows himself to sleep, and when he wakes up next, he’s feeling a lot better already.

 When he looks around, the whole team is scattered across his room, either reading or silently talking or playing board games, but everyone is here.

 They’re all okay, and that’s all that counts.

*+~

 Bad Things Happen Bingo.

 Square: Setting a broken bone

[letterfromtrenwith]

Prescription Passion - Ch. 7

Carolight Hospital AU

Ch.7 - Dwight's day gets off to a bad start...and it's all downhill from there.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

~

HONKKKKK

Dwight jumped as the horn blared, turning to see a red Ferrari startlingly close behind him, but only because it seemed to be trying to drive over the pedestrian pathway in the car park to get to a space opposite. He half-leapt out of the way, and the car pulled in. A tall, dark-haired man in his 40s got out, locking the door with little more than an imperious glance back at Dwight. Under ordinary circumstances, Dwight might have objected to being nearly run over, but he was not only too astonished by the man’s behaviour, he was also in too good a mood.

Admittedly, he might have actually seen the car coming if he hadn’t been so distracted. He’d been in a bit of a dream for the last couple of days, since Caroline had waved off his taxi outside the restaurant. Like the smitten fool he was, he’d twisted around to watch her until the car turned a corner. She’d stood out in the twilight, golden hair bright against her simple red dress. It wasn’t until he got home that he’d realised she’d watched the car drive away in return.

It was only Monday, so he wasn’t sure if that was too soon to ask her out on another date – or rather, ask her out on a date for the first time, since she’d done the inviting last time. Dwight wasn’t used to being asked out by women, and definitely not ones as beautiful and fascinating as Caroline. He hadn’t been lying when he’d told her that relationships weren’t exactly his strong suit – he’d only had one truly serious one, and that had ended…

“Are you all right?” He was startled out of his thoughts by George’s voice. He’d made it into the hospital lobby, following the man who’d nearly knocked him down. “I saw your near miss out there.”

“Oh, er, yeah, I’m fine. Just got a bit of a fright.” He glanced after the driver, but he’d disappeared down one of the corridors which splintered off from the reception. “Do you know who that was?”

“Oh, yes.” George pursed his lips, disapproving. “Francis Bassett – he’s one of the hospital directors. Not a doctor. Some sort of pen-pusher. It’s not the first time he’s nearly caused an accident in that midlife-crisis-mobile of his. Arrogant bastard. And I work with surgeons, so I know from arrogant.”

Dwight laughed. He knew the type – both from his previous work in the NHS, and his time with MSF. Charity higher-ups were often the same, treating the organisations they were in charge of like their own personal fiefdoms, believing they could do what they wanted because they were ‘helping people’, despite the fact that they rarely went near a patient or anyone in need. Primarily because most of them weren’t doctors, or anything at all, so far as Dwight had ever been able to tell.

“So, are you on your way in or out?”

“In. I’ve just dropped Valentine off at nursery.”

“Elizabeth not with you?”

“She came in earlier. They had a bit of a rush on.” George smiled. “If you’re hoping to avoid her, she’ll probably be finished by about 3.”

“Avoid her?” Dwight frowned. “Why would I want to avoid her?”

“Because you’ll get the third degree about your date with Caroline on Saturday night.”

“How did – “

“Oh, she got that out of Caroline days ago.” Obviously sensing that Dwight was slightly taken aback, George’s expression softened. “Elizabeth’s not trying to interfere, she’s just pleased for Caroline, that’s all. Caroline didn’t really know anyone when she came here, and her Uncle is an old friend of Elizabeth’s dad. They’re close. She’s Ursula’s godmother.”

“Oh, I see.” It made sense. He couldn’t really imagine Elizabeth as the busybody type, and he felt badly for thinking otherwise, no matter how briefly. Caroline had certainly given him the impression that she was good friends with the obstetrician. He elected to change the subject. “She’s very cute, by the way. Ursula, I mean. People couldn’t tear themselves away at your party.”

“Yes, she is.” George smiled fondly. They’d begun to walk into the main body of the hospital, towards the staff wing. Dwight still had a short while before he needed to sign in for his shift. “She’s got us both wrapped around her little finger. Valentine was the same.”

“How did you and Elizabeth end up working in the same hospital, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“No, not at all. We met here, actually. I did the first part of my registration in Bath, but came down here to finish. First week on the job, I got called in for an epidural and…there she was.” He smiled, remembering. “Took me six months to work up the courage to ask her out. Wish I hadn’t wasted all that time, to be honest. What’s the point in waiting when you know what you want? Well, this is me. Got a budget meeting. I’ll see you later.”

With that George disappeared in the direction of the administrative offices. Dwight stood a minute watching the double doors slowly swing to stop. He had a feeling that George’s comment about not waiting hadn’t been solely referring to himself and Elizabeth.

~

Dwight stretched, hearing a popping noise from somewhere in the vicinity of his shoulder. He would go and have a sit down, he thought. It hadn’t exactly been busy today, just a steady flow of one patient after another. Nothing especially serious, thank God, although a man with chest pains had been admitted for further observation, but there had barely been a pause.  

As he was signing off a patient form, the phone rang on the desk and Rosina answered. She listened intently to whatever the person on the other end was saying, and the way her mouth set into a grim line gave Dwight a deep sense of foreboding. He was proven right when she hung up.

“There’s been a scaffolding collapse on a building site. At least 20 casualties. First ones should be arriving in the next 10 minutes. Don’t know how many are coming here yet.”

“All right.” Dwight took a deep breath, steeling himself. He’d dealt with mass-casualty incidents before and he’d had significant training. As the senior physician in the department today, he needed to take charge. He could do this. “Activate the MCI procedures. Call in everyone nearby, and see if other departments can spare any qualified personnel.”

Rosina gave a sharp nod and picked up the phone again – she’d be paging just about every doctor in the hospital with the emergency notification. Dwight headed off to round up every spare staff member he could find in the A&E, hurrying them to clear as many beds as they could – getting all the patients who were to be admitted or discharged processed as quickly as possible in the time left, which wasn’t much.

The estimate hadn’t been far off – about fifteen minutes after the phone call, they were alerted that the ambulances had begun to arrive. Just two to begin with, but there would be more, he knew. Thankfully, the extra staff had also started to appear. Mostly nurses, but a few doctors, as well – Dwight saw Hugh Armitage and Malcolm McNeil, and some others whose names he still didn’t know. With another deep breath, he strode out to the ambulance bay doors.

Everything after that seemed to happen both too quickly and in slow motion. The injuries were just what would be expected from a building collapse, but that made them no less distressing. Crush injuries, broken limbs, head traumas – and not all members of the building crew. Debris had fallen onto pedestrians on the street.

It seemed the first reports had underestimate the number of casualties – some had gone to the Royal Cornwall and a few with relatively minor injuries had been taken further afield – but over the course of the next few hours at least 20 patients arrived, although Dwight struggled to keep count, even though he was nominally in charge of co-ordination. There were more pressing issues to attend to – like the young builder with a metal rod through his torso, or the other who had fallen almost thirty feet, or the little girl whose leg had been crushed by a scaffolding pole. After some struggle to stabilise the men, both were whisked away for emergency surgery. Hugh stepped in to take charge of the girl, also hurrying her away to theatre.

Dwight ended up calling time of death on two patients in a row – one who had been struck on the head by a falling plank of wood, and another, an older man whose heart simply gave out with the shock of his injuries. At the edge of his awareness, he heard at least two other TODs being called – the second he recognised as being in George’s voice.

Shortly after that George appeared at his side to tend to another worker with fall injuries – he was still conscious somehow, and in severe pain. Ironically, that was a good sign under the circumstances, indicating against paralysis. The patient was also very distressed, by everything that had happened, and by being strapped onto the spinal board, his head held still by the cervical collar.

“What’s – what’s going on? Ah Jesus! It hurts so much.”

“Shhhh, it’s all right. What’s your name?” Dwight did his best to keep his voice soothing.

“Danny – ah – oh God.”

“All right, Danny, just try to breathe slowly.” As he did his best to assess the young man’s – he couldn’t be more than 20 – condition, Dwight saw George prepare a syringe, inserting into Danny’s drip and injecting the contents, eyes on the monitors at all times. Relatively quickly, his vitals stabilised a little, blood pressure and heart rate decreasing closer to a normal rate, the opioid acting quickly. His injuries were still severe, however. Dwight was certain both his legs were broken, and quite probably his pelvis; he was struggling to breath in a way which suggested the possibility of a collapsed lung.

“He needs an x-ray, and a CT scan.” Dwight said.

“We still need to get his BP down.” George rummaged in the cabinet, extracting another syringe. A dose of ACE inhibitors did enough, and Danny could be admitted for further treatment.

By the time everything began to tail off, Dwight had no idea what time of day it was. Once the last casualty from the collapse had been wheeled away into the main body of the hospital, he slumped against the nurses’ desk, all of the energy and adrenaline draining out of him. Nearby, a nurse was cleaning blood from the floor. There were still a few patients receiving treatment – some not from the collapse, but they were being treated by reserve staff who had been called in to take over.

Although he’d called TOD on three patients all told, he’d paid little attention to the actual passage of time, his mind on other things. Blearily, he squinted at the large clock about the desk. It was half past eight at night, about seven hours since they’d got the call. With some difficulty he made it out into the corridor, sitting down with his back against the wall. It was blessedly cool; drawing up his knees, he dropped his forehead onto his folded arms.

He felt as if a weight was settling on his shoulders, and – uninvited – his brain began to conjure up memories. Sparse wooden shacks used as hospital wards, blood permanently ingrained in the floor planks;  little malnourished bodies on pathetic excuses for hospital beds; bombed out buildings; remains pulled out of homes crushed by mudslides; a knock on the door in the middle of the night, blue lights flickering through the glass…

“Dwight? Dwight? Are you okay?” Lost in his unwelcome thoughts, Dwight was startled. He looked up to find Rosina crouched next to him. She gently put her hand on his shoulder. “That was…pretty awful.”

“Yeah..” He scrubbed a hand over his face, and it came away wet. Oh Lord, he’d been crying. He blinked a few times, and saw that Rosina’s eyes were also red-rimmed. She was relatively recently qualified, this was almost certainly the most severe situation she’d ever been in. “You – er – you did really well back there.”

“I tried. You were amazing. You were so calm.” She smiled a little, still rubbing his shoulder gently. Unexpectedly, she leant forward and pressed her forehead against his for a moment before quickly standing up, wiping her own eyes and disappearing back into the ward. Dwight glanced in the other direction, just in time to see Caroline turn and walk away through the doors. 

[dain-tea-bones]

Try These 7 Teas That Help Repair Damaged Bones

This winter has brought record cold temperatures reaching all the way down to South Florida, so I’ve been drinking (and enjoying!) plenty of warming teas.For today’s post, I’ve hand-picked my favorite teas that are both delicious and bone-healthy. They have many overall health benefits, too – some are excellent for cardiovascular health, for example.And these teas can also be enjoyed cold, so they’re perfect to cool you down on a hot summer day.Let’s get started!Non-Herbal Teas: Fluoride AlertThe term “tea” can denote any plant matter steeped in water, although “infusion” is often used for herbal teas so as not to confuse them with drinks made from the tea plant, Camellia sinensis.The familiar green, oolong, and black teas are made from leaves of the camellia sinensis plant. This shrub-like plant readily absorbs fluoride from the soil, which then ends up in the leaves. When the tea leaves are steeped, fluoride is released into the hot water. The smaller the pieces of leaf, the more fluoride ends up in your tea.Loose leaf tea has slightly less fluoride than tea in teabags. Decaffeinated green and black teas actually show higher fluoride content in general than regular caffeinated tea. Instant iced tea mixes also contain fluoride, probably due to the low-quality tea used in such mixes (the lower the tea quality, the higher the fluoride content).Savers already know that fluoride is deleterious to bones. And that high levels of fluoride can lead to skeletal fluorosis, a painful condition that causes bones to harden and become denser, but brittle and more prone to fracture. Joints, cartilage, and ligaments can also be impaired by fluoride ingestion.Does that mean you should never drink these teas? Of course not. Green tea, for example, is one of the highest sources of bone-building polyphenols. Just make sure you drink them in moderation and preferably organic.Bone-Building, Health-Enhancing TeasNow let’s take a close look at the teas.White TeaMade from the young buds of camellia senensis, white tea has the least fluoride of any type of tea from this plant. This is because the buds are very young, and the fluoride has not had time to get deposited in the leaves yet.White tea contains significant levels of antioxidants, which are a powerful weapon in your fight against osteoporosis. Antioxidants prevent oxidative damage to bone, thus staving off the effects of aging and helping rejuvenate bone.White tea is also associated with lower blood pressure and cancer prevention. Its cancer-fighting properties are antioxidant-related – white tea contains flavonoids called catechins, a class of antioxidants that inhibits the growth and development of cancer cells.Additionally, white tea has anti-bacterial and anti-viral effects, once again due to its high antioxidant levels.Hibiscus TeaRuby-red hibiscus is one of my favorite herbal teas. All parts of the plant can be used to make tea, but it’s the red flower infusion that most of us know best.The flowers contain the bone-healthy benefits of this herb – antioxidants called flavonoids and anthocyanins abound in the flower petals, and these are crucial elements for building youthful bone. Flavonoids are very anti-inflammatory, and anthocyanins have been shown to facilitate communication between cells. Intercellular communication is vital for proper bone turnover.Research has shown the powerful blood pressure-lowering effects of hibiscus. In a study published in the Journal of Human Hypertension, researchers conclude that the consumption of two cups a day of hibiscus tea“…had positive effects on BP in type II diabetic patients with mild hypertension. This study supports the results of similar studies in which antihypertensive effects have been shown for ST.” 1Because of its ability to relax smooth muscle tissue, hibiscus also has a reputation as a digestive aid.RooibosThis “red tea” from South Africa is rich in antioxidants, but what makes this tea especially bone-healthy are the minerals it contains. In fact, rooibos tea has several Foundation Supplements:MagnesiumCalciumManganeseZincIt also contains iron, and because of its low tannin content, rooibos won’t inhibit iron absorption. Rooibos also has a particularly potent antioxidant called Chysoeriol. This antioxidant works against an enzyme that causes cardiovascular disease, and improves circulation.Rooibos also helps keep skin looking young and clear, thanks to its phenylpyretic acid content.Savers might recognize one of the flavonoids in rooibos: quercetin. This antioxidant reduces cortisol levels in the body, thus protecting your bones from the damaging effects of chronic stress. Quercetin also balances blood pressure and improves cardiovascular health, and its antihistamine properties improve respiratory health.ChamomileThe daisy-like flowers of chamomile are a well-known sleep aid and promoter of relaxation and calm. There is a reason why chamomile has this reputation, and it ties in with why it’s good for your bones.Chamomile contains apigenin, a flavonoid that effectively relieves stress and has a sedative effect. This same flavonoid keeps cortisol levels in check, too, protecting bones from the damaging effects of this stress hormone.Chamomile also boasts another antioxidant flavonoid called luteolin, which has multiple healthful effects. Luteolin reduces fever and calms muscles spasms, and even reduces blood pressure.Another benefit of chamomile is its immune-boosting properties, making it especially appropriate during cold and flu season.Please note that if you are allergic to ragweed or daisies, or if you are taking blood-thinners of any sort (including aspirin), please check with your doctor before taking chamomile tea.Green TeaIn moderation, green tea can be a part of a bone-healthy diet. If you want to avoid the fluoride altogether and just reap the healthful benefits, you can get a green tea extract that has had the fluoride removed.It’s certainly worth adding green tea or its extract to your bone-building diet. A 2009 study found that 3 components in green tea – epigallocatechin (EGC), gallocatechin (GC), and gallocatechin gallate (GCG) – have an effect on osteoblasts. EGC in particular promoted bone growth by boosting a key enzyme, and by inhibiting osteoclasts (the cells that tear down bone).2Green tea also promotes cardiovascular health, staves off dementia, and reduces the pain and inflammation of rheumatoid arthritis.DandelionI have often lamented dandelion’s reputation as a pesky weed. They are not only fragrant and beautiful flowers; they have much to offer with regards to bone health.Herbalists suggest dandelion for detoxifying the liver, an important aspect of bone rejuvenation and maintenance. Tea made from the roots and leaves contains Foundation Supplements Vitamin C and D, magnesium, and zinc. Potassium is another important alkalizing mineral found in dandelion tea.Dandelion tea reduces inflammation and offers bone-restoring antioxidants.A word of caution: like chamomile, dandelion contains blood-thinning compounds called coumarins. If you are taking Warfarin or any anti-coagulant drugs, or if you have ragweed allergies, make sure you check with your doctor before drinking dandelion tea.Milk ThistleMilk thistle has a long history of use as a liver tonic. The powerful liver-cleansing effects of milk thistle are likely due to the presence of 3 flavonoids: silibinin, silidianin, and silicristin. Together they are called sylmarin, which protects and repairs liver cells as well as reducing liver inflammation.Sylmarin also keeps glutathione levels up (glutathione is the Master Antioxidant). All this is great news for your bones, which rely on a properly-functioning liver to remove bone-damaging toxins.

[notas-de-un-chico-suicida]

Healthy Eating Tips Which You Must Follow

"Eat Healthy, Stay Healthy" - this is a common saying and it's quite unlikely if you haven't heard it in your life. Each one of us needs to remain healthy. To keep a healthy life, we want healthy diet also. But healthy eating style doesn't necessarily indicate a boring diet. 

To the contrary, you can add a excellent variety on your healthy diet and revel in its delicious flavor. Practically, there isn't any secret about healthy eating. This is supposed to be a perfect mix of variety, balance and regulation. 

Additionally, you want to promote healthy lifestyle concerning maintaining few helpful strategies such as not smoking, minimal amount of alcohol intake, and stress control. In this guide, we'll investigate few great healthy eating tips that may keep you healthy without compromising your taste-buds. 

Add fish foods at least twice a week Typically fish is a'must-have' addition in healthy eating tips. It's a excellent source of omega-3 fatty acids, minerals and vitamins. If you choose at least two fish meals per week, it offers you a excellent health benefits like lowering high blood pressure, cardiac problems, and lowering cholesterol level. 

Omega-3 fatty acids can't be produced by our own body. Omega-3 fatty acids are useful in decreasing cardiac issues, reducing high blood pressure, lowering the risk of arthritis, regulating abnormal heart rhythms, and promoting healthy brain function. 

Add diverse lean red meat foods several times a week While contemplating healthy eating tips, a particular emphasis has to be given on lean red meat foods. You might have this meal many times a week. If you're a vegetarian, you should have legume or nuts every day in your diet. 

If you don't have it or its choices in your daily diet, it means you're lacking the essential supply of zinc and iron. These are the critical minerals that may keep your mind healthy and active. Add fruits and veggies in daily diet Fruits and vegetables are great source of dietary fiber. 

We want dietary fiber in our everyday diet. It helps us not becoming constipated. Furthermore, it has other health benefits like lowering cholesterol level, regulating glucose level and lowering the risk of cardiac issues. Avoid eating in heavy volume This is one of those important healthy eating tips you probably shouldn't avoid. 

Different scientific studies confirm that in the event that you take your meals in regular segments instead of having it in bulk at a specified time, it promotes healthy metabolism. That means, if you provide low quantity of foods in different amounts of time each day, you truly help you metabolic system to work better.

Consequently, it lowers the probability of accumulated fat from the human body and lets you stay fat-free and healthy. Drink plenty Quantity of water 'Water is life' and maybe there's absolutely not any one on the surface of earth who can deny the actuality. 

Each one knows the health benefits of water. Almost 2/3rds portion of our body is composed of water. Our blood includes 83% water, our muscles comprise 75% water, our mind contains 74% bone and water includes 22% water. Literally, the benefits we get from drinking water are innumerable. 

Water is important to absorb vitamins and nutrients in the blood flow. Additionally, it promotes the detoxification process by carrying out the physiological wastages in the body. Aside from that, it will help to keep skin glowing and healthy. 

You should drink 5-6 liters of water every day to keep your system clean and healthy. Exercise, Exercise and More Exercise Though not directly belongs to the area of healthy eating tips, but if you would like to keep a life in a healthy manner, doing regular exercise has no other choices. You want to follow a daily schedule for exercise together with healthy diets to keep yourself healthy and steady.

Best Healthy Diet Tips You Should Be Adopting

There are a number of healthy diet ideas that will enable you to live a healthier lifestyle and eat a healthy diet. If you are attempting to eat healthily and keep healthy, you should take these healthy diet suggestions as great advice which ought to be incorporated into your everyday lifestyle. 

It is possible to integrate these gradually and you'll be accustomed to it no time! First is that you need to always fill your food cabinets and refrigerators with healthy food. After all, if you do not have healthy food ingredients to cook, and everything you need stocked up on is processed foods, how do you cook healthy meals? 

Another of my healthy diet tips is that you ought to keep every of your foods balanced. Plan your meals in advance. This can allow you to manage your eating habits much easier, and can help you avoid preparing unhealthy foods in the title of"I do not know what to cook now", or"I have run out of ideas". 

Healthy diet advice isn't hard to find everywhere, but any great advice should stress how to get nutrients from whatever foods you're eating too. This is quite important as there's not any use eating all the right foods, but losing all of the nutrients you need from them! 

The best way to cook and process your meals is important and crucial for their nutrient-retention. The typical home loses a high proportion of the nutrition in their foods, just by the way they cook and prepare it alone! When integrating healthy diet suggestions into your daily way of life, it's vital to understand how nutrients are lost in meals cooking, and prep. 

This way you can avoid the worst offenders and retain all-important nutrition on your foods. In actuality, even without changing the foods you eat yet, but only getting maximum nutrition from the foods alone will provide you more energy, help your body to work far better, help your bowel movements to be more routine, help you to focus better, keep you healthier, and also help you lose weight! Yes, just like that. 

Then add slightly tweaking your diet and food choices into it, you get a complete winner! Not crash diets that don't work. Not diets that work for a couple of weeks, and then take you back to square one when you crave the foods you liked to eat. 

This is because with the perfect cooking techniques and food preparation methods will let you cook mainly with no added fats and oils (now, that is crucial!) , cook foods in their natural juices , and cook on lower heat settings. Fish oils are an exceptional addition to your diet and contain essential fats which are excellent for the mind, concentration and standard co-ordination. 

When you cook fish, be careful not to cook all of the nutrients. Do not fry on high heat particularly, so you don't harm the omega-3 material that you demand. Excess saturated fat is thought to increase the risk of cardiovascular disease by increasing LDL cholesterol ("bad") levels. They therefore should be limited in your diet. 

They raise the risk of cardiovascular disease and obesity. If your cholesterol levels are already higher than normal, you want to take even extra steps to bring it back to normal through diet. It will not happen overnight, because your cholesterol level wasn't built up overnight. It will normalise with time however as long you're watching your diet and reducing on foods which are high in cholesterol, saturated fats and trans fats. 

Drink loads of water on a daily basis. Adding a little exercise also will work your heart and help to reduce your cholesterol and ailments risk. Diet is key however - you should take these healthy cooking and healthy diet tips and customs, as exercise won't work by itself.

[kaiunkaiku]

It’s. An. Actual. Fic. Can you believe that?

@glassyartist and I talked about a Code:Breaker sickfic a while ago, and by “a while” I literally mean a fucking year, and I actually managed to finish something. 

This is set in the “couple of days” between chapters 88 and 89 because that’s literally the only possibility if I want Toki in the mansion and his arms out of the casts.

I don’t even know what to put in the warnings because who is actually going to read a fic of a series they’ve never even heard of? Illness, passing out, possible OOCness and I can’t believe I actually just wrote “OOCness” in 2017, and, as usual, me attempting to write dialogue.

“Toki-kun?” comes the question. “Are you sure you're alright?” Again. Toki grits his teeth and takes a deep breath to calm his nerves. He’s not going to blow up now, not going to snap at Sakura even though this is probably the fifth time she’s asking the exact same question. He’s exhausted and aching all over, but that's not something the others need to know. His head feels like there's a band around it, tightening as the minutes tick by. The cool surface of the table he’s currently leaning on is somewhat of a saving grace - he's quite sure he would be puking his guts up by now, if it wasn't for that.

Not like it isn't going to happen in the next few hours, but for now he tries to fight it. So he keeps his forehead to the table and mumbles a hopefully irritated-sounding, “Still sure" that probably comes out way more pitiful than he intended. He can feel Sakura’s eyes staring at him from the other side of the table, just as he can feel Yuuki’s gaze on him from the corner of the room. It’s silent, save for the quiet whirring of the fan rotating on the table between him and Sakura and Yuuki’s occasional mumble of the weird Nyanmaru song. Toki himself is begging for the sweet release of unconsciousness, or preferably death, to get away from the general god-awful feeling of malaise.

Toki doesn’t think he’s slept in the past week. Actually, he probably hasn’t slept in the past few years, but that he can put on the account of his manipulative ass of a father and the fact that he has to protect his sister from the prime minister of Japan.

Right now, he’s feeling those sleepless nights way heavier than what he’s used to. He knows the feeling of feeling physically ill upon waking up from two and a half hours of sleep, and this is not it. He thinks he might have a fever, but he doesn’t want Sakura fussing over him. Just the thought of someone touching him right now makes his skin prickle and hurt. Every breath he takes sends a wave of nausea through his body and aggravates his head even further and his skin feels a tad too tight. His head feels like it's full of rocks, or maybe blocks of iron and something is trying to pull them out. He feels sick.

The monotonous whirring and the cool flow of air eventually lull him to sleep. It’s dreamless and dark, and when he wakes up to Prince’s cold hand on his forehead he feels even worse than before. A quick glance at the clock on the wall tells him he’s slept for maybe two hours, but now there’s also a stabbing pain in his head in addition to the nauseating pressure.

Rui’s eyes are close and intense, carefully studying Toki’s face. There's a slightly startled look to them, as if she wasn't expecting him to wake up, but she doesn't pull back until after a few seconds.

Toki doesn’t really have energy to react, so he closes his eyes again and channels the last remnants of his dwindling focus to ward off the pain rather than snap at Prince.

Rui doesn’t move, though. Her presence stays beside Toki, radiating heat and authority. Because even though Toki is reluctant to admit that anyone has authority over him, he also recognizes that Rui holds authority over everything and everyone she lays her eyes upon.

The one single exception would be his father.

It’s clear that Rui isn’t just going to leave him alone. Toki also knows that he isn’t going to give in and actually admit aloud how horrible he actually feels. It’s a game he doesn’t really have any energy to play, this battle of the wills he knows he’s going to lose, but he clenches his fists and does anyway.

The clock tick-tock-ticks on the wall, the sound amplified in the otherwise silent room, and neither of them does anything. Rui’s presence doesn’t move, and Toki keeps his eyes closed and head on the table.

Eventually, to Toki’s surprise, it’s Rui who gives in. First she shifts, one leg moving from the previous cross-legged position to in front of her, and sets her wrist on her knee. Toki cracks an eye open, just barely but enough to see what she’s doing.

There’s another moment of silence, during which Rui leans back and cranes her neck, and Toki tenses in anticipation. He knows he’s going to lose this.

“Toki,” Rui finally starts, her voice too loud in the quiet space. It stabs at Toki’s head, straight through his ears and eyes directly into his brain and it takes all the self-control he has not to show how much a two-syllable word just made him want to die of pain. Instead, he makes a noncommittal grunt that could probably be interpreted as “yeah?” or something similar.

“How long have you been sick?” she continues.

“I’m not,” he mumbles, the response automatic to such a question. Rui’s expression reveals she doesn’t believe him for a second.

She goes for a different tactic than Toki anticipated. Instead of arguing with him and insisting on it, she looks him in the eyes and, very slowly, drawls, “Really.”

Then she practically jumps up, the motion looking way too easy for Toki. The act of clenching his fists requires too much energy. He’s slightly terrified at what Prince has in mind, now, because he was fully expecting an argument along the lines of am not and are too.

He’s almost hoping she would leave him alone, but no. He’s not that lucky, because the second he decides that it’s safe to close his eyes again, Rui cracks her back and opens her mouth.

“Get up,” she tells him, and it’s that moment when Toki knows he’s royally screwed. He’s exhausted, he’s in pain and he’s fairly sure his knees will betray him the second he even attempts standing up. He’s fairly sure his stomach will do the same thing and the end result will be him on the floor throwing his guts up.

Somewhere at the back of his head there’s a small voice of hope, though. Maybe, just maybe he could make it to his room. If he manages to actually get up from the floor where he’s been sitting for the past few hours and walk down the hallway, he’ll be in his room without people trying to fuss over him, actually lying down and under a blanket.

That is, in the case that Prince actually lets him leave just like that.

That is, in the case he actually manages to get up.

He tries, anyway. His arms are already screaming in pain even though he knows he’s taken his painkillers today, and the simple act of bracing his hands on the edge of the table and putting weight on his arms is almost enough to send his stomach up his throat. The pain from them explodes near his elbows and travels right down to his fingertips and up to his shoulders and neck, and he has to take a second to draw a deep breath or two.

Rui observes him all the while, not offering her help or saying anything. However, the second time he almost crashes right into the table, she does move a little closer. On the third try he gets his knees under him.

His hands are shaking against the wood. His arms are shaking, his shoulders, legs, everything is shaking and he’s suddenly freezing, a cold wave washing over him and paralyzing his lungs on its way.

The next thing he knows, there’s a hand on his left shoulder, blue hair at the edge of his vision that’s now blurring quite worryingly, jumbled-up words in his ear barely audible through the sudden rush of blood that drowns out everything else. Numb, his arms feel numb, he can't feel his fingers, the awful tingling sensation spreads all over his body and Prince’s voice in his ears grows louder and-

He’s going to pass out. Here, now, in the middle of the ratty kitchen of the Shibuya Mansion with Hachiouji Rui gripping his shoulder and no one having any idea what exactly is happening or why.

Black spots flood his vision, blocking the blue of Rui’s hair, and he gives in to the pull of nothingness.

An airy whimper leaves Toki’s lips and the boy goes limp. Rui manages to catch him before his head hits the table, fast reflexes reacting before she’s even aware of her arms moving.

She realizes she’s still shouting Toki’s name when she hears a rush of footsteps from the hallway. Yuuki’s red hair appears first and Ogami isn’t far behind, both looking like they’re prepared to fight, but the sight in front of them stops them short. Ogami’s posture deflates quickly and he freezes at the door, but Yuuki moves towards the centre of the room. He stops a few steps away.

“What’s wrong with Fourth?” he asks, crouching down and crossing his arms on his knees. Ogami takes a few tentative steps closer, too.

Careful with the deadweight in her arms, Rui gently lowers Toki’s body to the floor. She barely spares a glance at the boys, instead focusing on the fact that Toki’s skin feels warm, way, way too warm, while his hands feel like they’re freezing. She’s about to move to lift his feet higher when Toki groans.

A blue eye cracks open, quickly followed by a brown one and the hazy look on Toki’s face indicates that he has no idea what’s going on. He’s pale, the dark circles under his eyes contrasting his ghostly complexion further, and there’s a fine sheen of sweat on his forehead.

Ogami steps quietly closer and crouches down much like Yuuki, though he lets his other knee rest on the floor. There’s no irritation in Toki’s eyes, no unspoken out of my personal space or what the fuck are you doing, and the lethargy is quite worrying.

However, the second Ogami’s hand moves toward Toki’s face, there’s a hand around his wrist and sudden defiance on Toki’s face. There’s a flash of pain, too, and Ogami glances at Toki’s hand to find it shaking.

“Hands off,” Toki growls, voice rough and tight, and Ogami retreats his hand the second Toki lets go of it. He’s not going to start a fight now, not when Toki doesn’t stand a chance, not when he’s sick and still injured, so he doesn’t shoot back even though he usually would. He doesn’t move away, though - Toki can glare at him all he wants, but the feverish glow in his eyes dulls the effect considerably. Ogami glances at Rui instead.

It comes as no surprise that Rui has better luck in regards of checking Toki’s fever. The frown on her face tells everything that needs to be known, but she still orders Yuuki to go find a thermometer.

Toki’s dull eyes follow the movement in the room slowly. His breathing sounds labored, wrong for a trained assassin, and the tremor in his hands tells tales of things Ogami would rather not think about.

Then there’s a twitch.

All the color, what little of it was left, drains from Toki’s face. There’s a quiet, distressed sound that Ogami is pretty sure just came out of Toki’s throat even though he’s never heard the other boy making any sound akin to that even in his Lost form, not when both of his arms were in casts and slings and he could barely move his fingers, not when he was Lost and couldn’t use his arms.

Heterochromic eyes grow wide and Ogami realizes.

He has Toki turned on his side in mere seconds, time not allowing him to watch how he does it even though he’s sure everything hurts Toki’s arms. He’s not a second too early, and at least Toki is not lying on his right side (the shoulder, the goddamn shoulder).

Toki gags and his limbs instinctively move closer to his torso, knees coming closer to his chest and arms, still shaking, curling around his stomach. Rui is moving, her hands pulling strands of blond hair away from Toki’s face, and Ogami moves back. It’s not like he can do anything, now - he’s just glad Prince knows how human contact works. Or any of this, really.

Rui murmurs something Ogami doesn’t quite catch, her voice low and soothing. Toki coughs and then gags again, and Prince continues talking to him.

Even she, however, isn’t allowed to touch more than necessary. She tries to place her hand between Toki’s shoulder blades, but the flinch she gets in response makes her reel back. It’s not an outright “don’t touch” like what Ogami received for even trying, but it’s enough of an indication of discomfort for Rui to let it go.

Toki heaves and retches, and somewhere in there is a horrible whimper, and Rui isn’t sure if it’s because of the nausea or the pain.

Because Toki is definitely in pain.

She doesn’t have time to finish that train of thought, though, because the next thing she knows the contents of Toki’s stomach are spilling on the floor and his body convulses. And screw it, she decides - Toki is getting a supportive hand on his back whether he wants it or not.

Toki’s entire body is shaking from exertion, exhaustion, pain, something, and all Rui can do is rub his back and try to talk him through it as he hacks up another bout of sick. She’s pretty sure there are tears in his eyes, though they are squeezed shut.

There’s a soft noise as Yuuki enters the room again, and Rui hopes he has the thermometer she asked for, but right now it’s not really important. What’s important right now is that Toki doesn’t choke on his own vomit, because that would be a very lame way for a Code:Breaker to go, and that he hopefully won’t pass out again.

Time passes, though she doesn’t know how much of it, and finally Toki seems to calm down, if only enough to take a decent breath instead of the shallow wheezing. He’s still shaking badly, and Rui doesn’t really expect him to stop anytime soon. Sweat is beading at his hairline and his whole body is tense, fingers curling inwards but not exactly forming a fist.

When she’s sure Toki isn’t going to throw up anymore, Rui finally rolls him on his back. It’s a good thing Rei had reacted fast, but she still doesn’t like the fact that Toki was lying on his arm like that. He can claim that his arms are fine as many times as he wants, but they’re still bandaged and it’s still a lie. It’s been just days since the casts were removed.

“Rei,” she calls without really looking at his direction. Ogami’s head perks up. “Help me get Toki to his room.” Toki makes a disgruntled noise that turns into a cough, and this time Rui lifts him into a sitting position, rather than rolls him back on his side. “Now’s the time to swallow your pride,” she tells him. Of course she gets that Rei helping Toki is not the most ideal situation for either of them, but Yuuki is a good deal shorter than him.

It’s rare to see Rei so careful with something, Rui thinks when Ogami moves to the other side of Toki. Especially with his long-standing rival she doesn’t think she’s ever seen such display of tenderness. Maybe he feels a bit guilty about the stab-wound in Toki’s shoulder, though she would have never imagined him having actual human emotions.

Maybe it’s Sakura’s influence, Rui muses.

Getting up from the floor is difficult, to say the least. Toki’s knees give out before they’re even standing, and he goes alarmingly gray with the motion. Trying to spare Toki’s arms is another difficult task, and in the end Ogami hoists him up and carries him bridal-style to his room. Toki doesn’t protest beyond the surprised, hoarse yelp when his feet are suddenly lifted up.

He’s lighter than Ogami remembers. Not light like Yuuki and his skinny, 15-year-old body, but still lighter than Ogami remembers him being the last time they fought, and that was only a few weeks ago. It’s not like he’s worried, not really, because he doesn’t particularly care about Toki besides the fact that he’s annoying, but the uncomfortable tug in his chest is still there.

Maneuvering his way through the narrow hallways isn’t easy, even with Prince’s help, and neither is lowering Toki onto his futon once they finally reach his room. If Toki was in a better condition, Ogami would seriously consider just dropping him unceremoniously on the floor and walking away.

If Toki was in a better condition, he wouldn’t be carrying him in the first place.

Yuuki trails after them, his bare feet shuffling close behind and the thermometer still in his hands. He settles in a corner of Toki’s room, drawing his knees close to his chest in a manner that tells he’ll probably be upside down in minutes.

After the quick check-up Rui performs on Toki’s arms, as well as a brief look at his ribs, she finally retrieves the thermometer and promptly sticks it under Toki’s armpit. She sends Ogami to gather a bowl of water and a clean rag of some sort, and sits down next to Toki.

He’s not shaking anymore, but he’s not doing anything else, either. His eyes are open and his head is turned to Rui’s direction, but they’re unfocused and dazed.

Ogami is back before the thermometer beeps, which is slightly concerning.

When it finally does, Yuuki nearly jumps at his place in the corner, and Toki flinches. Rui frowns at the high number of 39.2 degrees Celsius and sets the damp cloth Rei brought on Toki’s forehead.

She doesn’t realize Rei has brought something else, too, until he starts wrapping ice packs in towels and setting them on Toki’s arms. She allows herself a little smile at the scene - Rei has difficulties showing his feelings, but he does really care.

As the darkness outside begins to set in, Rui gently shoos Ogami and Yuuki out of the room. Toki has fallen asleep, but she wants to watch over him a little longer. His brow is furrowed in what she assumes is pain, or perhaps fever dreams, and she doesn’t feel comfortable leaving him alone just yet. The three-year difference in their ages seems much bigger right now than it usually does - Toki looks so very young without his cocky grin or the revenge in his eyes. Not as young as his Lost form, of course, because his Lost form is a child, but right now seventeen seems like an awfully young age.

“Get better, Fourth,” Yuuki mumbles from the door, half-asleep, before Ogami quietly closes it.

[magiclaud]

As Time Goes By - USUK

Arthur had sworn he would never drink again.

It hadn’t been too difficult, indeed, as his job as an accountant required an amount of focus he could only hold sober. Thus, there was Peter. From the moment his son was born, Arthur just knew he wouldn’t be able to keep on with his habits anymore, especially as he was in an already difficult position to start with. Not that he was discontent with the idea of stopping such a shameful addiction, nonetheless. But tonight, after the series of incidents that cause such a pitiful scene, Arthur didn’t find any kind of strength in denying himself a bottle of rum.

Arthur drank the whole liquor, mostly just for the sake of it. It wasn’t as good as he remembered, and it burned his throat. Besides, the omega was sure the shots were giving him a horrendous breath. Arthur couldn’t care less about that, but it still seemed worth mentioning.

A knock on the door disturbed his broken peace. Arthur tilted his head up, eyes full of hope while stumbling across the dinner room until opening the front door, a shaky smile on his face.

However, what stood on the porch of his house didn’t ease Arthur’s mind. Not one bit.

Instead, his smile froze in both incredulity and embarrassment. Arthur tightened his knuckles until he swore they became white, in a copying manner. On the other side of the door, the sight of a blond, blue-eyed alpha Arthur had once known too well was leaning against the porch wall.

Arthur blinked. It had been so long since he last saw that scenery. Probably a couple of years, though he wasn’t quite sure. Normally, regarding Peter’s matters, they would speak on the phone, and Peter was old enough to get the bus and go to his father’s house at the highlighted weekends.

«Well,» Arthur thought bitterly, «it used to be that way, at least». Even though, he didn’t know how the arrangements would be made from now on, or even if there were any arrangements to make at all. Peter was an alpha now, and so he had a larger spectrum of rights on that kind of topic Arthur wouldn’t even dare to dream about. Especially, as they lived in such a small town in the countryside.

As Alfred didn’t attempt to start a conversation, Arthur simply guided him into the house, gesturing the alpha to close the door behind him. Once they were inside and fully warm, Arthur stared at Alfred, determined on demanding an explanation of some sort.

“What are you doing here?” the words came softer than he expected them to, and Arthur tilted his eyes, avoiding the larger man’s gaze.

Alfred giggled nervously.

“Thank you for letting me in,” Alfred said, with an unsure smile on his face. “The house is lovely; you did a great job with the decoration. Oh, and don’t make me talk about the flowers in the garden—”

“Alfred,” if one thing, Arthur hated being bothered. Besides, Alfred appeared to have interrupted his night for no logical reason. Arthur needed to rest, and he knew that surely wouldn’t be happening with his ex-husband under the same roof as him. Alfred seemed to have deciphered his expression, as the American sighed in sorrow.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Arthur snapped. Maybe the alcohol did have an effect on him, after all. After some seconds, Arthur sighed, softening again. Dear Lord, was he tired. “It’s not your fault. And I don’t need your pity,” he said, pride conquering his persona for an instant. Arthur cursed himself then, as he felt warm tears fall from his eyes. He sighed and felt swallowed in embarrassment. As if the sight couldn’t be more pathetic.

Alfred bit his lip, probably having a debate with himself about what should he do next. At the end, Alfred spoke, with a soft voice, almost as he was afraid to scare the omega off.

“Arthur, listen to me, all right? Peter’s a teen, he’s supposed to put up a fight every now and then. We all did stupid things when we were young. But that doesn’t mean he was serious about anything at all,” Alfred licked his lips. Arthur wanted to laugh at him. There he was, the Mighty Alfred, always wanting to help people. Always trying to be the hero, to save the damsel in distress. It really was ironic, if one put it that way. “Besides, you’ve been his age, too. You know how kids at high school can be when they see something that’s not the usual. There’s social pressure and all that crap,” he paused for a second, running his calloused fingers through his hair of honey. “Hear me on this: Peter didn’t know what he was saying.”

“So? If he truly wanted to come back, Peter would come himself. I understand what you’re saying, Alfred, but Peter is mature to deal with his choices. And he chose you,” the venomous words fell from Arthur’s mouth. “Do you think I have not suffered, too? Everyone in town staring at me, everywhere I went, wondering just how bad of a mate I had been for prince charming to dump me,” Arthur bit his inner cheek until he felt the blood start to emerge. “And yet, I stayed. You had your perfect job and your perfect life here, and Peter had his friends, and I couldn’t bear my son to stay so far away from his father.

So I resigned myself because I love him. And you, too, for a long time,” Arthur took a deep breath, and shrugged his shoulders, as if it wasn’t an embarrassing confession anyhow. “But what does it matter? What does it matter when your own son says he’s unhappy because he must live with you, a disastrous omega no one can possibly want as a mate, and decides to go with his father, the golden boy of town, the hero everyone adores; and his beautiful, kind, and pure omega? Wasn’t all this time Peter’s wish to be part of the happy, idealistic family model the school has taught over and over as the only path to achieve true happiness? That wasn’t some kind of teenager impulsive desires, Alfred. That was merely the truth. Do you know what he told me before he left? ‘I’m sure you just tricked daddy into being your mate. No wonder he abandoned you. I would’ve left, too, I hadn’t been a child.’” Arthur couldn’t stop himself from sobbing this time. “No matter if it was you who left me, or if we both had a commitment, oh no. It’s my fault. Why? Because I’m an omega. The omegas are created to be protected by alphas. To be flawless and sensitive, and submissive. And if you, alphas, wrong me, it’s still my fault. After all, I should know my place. A good omega must know how to put their partner’s satisfaction before their pride. Or before themselves, as a matter of fact,” Arthur laughed that time, though his chest hurt. “It would be easy to believe that was just some kind of misunderstanding, Alfred, but it’s impossible to lie to oneself in a matter of that sort. I can’t force my children to love me. And I certainly can’t force others to understand my reasons, my circumstances. So please, please, leave. I’ll survive, I’ll get over it. As if I’m the first single omega to be rejected for a reason like that,” he teased, although they both knew it hadn’t been a joke at all.

Alfred remained silent, even after Arthur ended his speech. Arthur figured the alpha hadn’t expected such a degree of bitterness by Arthur’s part. On the other hand, Arthur felt slightly better. Even though the Englishman lived as a hermit, he did enjoy to talk to others from time to time. And now, after having shared his feelings, Arthur felt as if he had removed a great weight from his shoulders.

Nevertheless, Alfred had to leave now. There was absolutely nothing else he could do that would help Arthur heal faster, the alpha had to know that. And, as much of a stooge Alfred had been in the past, the man wasn’t a sadist.

Alfred took a step closer to the omega.

“I… I don’t know what to say,” he confessed. “I’m sorry, Arthur. I’m so—”

“Shush, have you not been listening? I said I don’t want your pity,” Arthur dismissed the alpha’s apology. “If you may, tell Peter my intentions were always the best for him. I hope he’s happy now,” Arthur murmured to himself. Then, he looked at Alfred’s figure. “I wish you the best, too. Please, send my regards to Sunny, would you?” Arthur hadn’t even met Alfred’s wife, although he had a pretty vivid image of the omega. Arthur wondered briefly if she would cook better than him.

«Stupid, of course she would. Everyone cooks better than you», he thought.

Alfred left a few minutes later. He told Arthur he would always be welcome in their home, and that, if Arthur ever wanted to talk, the alpha would listen. They even hugged before Alfred left, but it was a static, rigid gesture.

In the end, Alfred told Arthur he’d wished everything wouldn’t have to be that way. Arthur didn’t question it, and instead agreed in silence.

When he was alone again, Arthur cried. He sat on the floor, hugging his knees, and sobbed until Arthur was sure his face was as red as a rose.

Arthur felt disgusted. He wondered why’d he turn out to be an omega, and how would’ve change his life if he had been an alpha instead. Certainly, Arthur’s salary would be higher, the omega thought sourly. And betas and omegas wouldn’t dare to mock him. Alphas, maybe, but who cared? That would’ve been an improvement on the current situation he was living.

But he wasn’t an alpha. Arthur would never be an alpha. He had carried an alpha son, which usually was a pride to families, but said son had despised Arthur. He had mated, true, but said mate had abandoned him for someone else, to whom he was married now.

In addition, now that Alfred wouldn’t have to pay for Peter’s maintenance, Arthur would surely have to say goodbye to his house. He knew that, if asked, the alpha would offer to keep paying, but Arthur’s situation was already so despicable he wouldn’t dare to make it worse for his own dignity.

So Arthur cried more, wondering when did everything start to twist. He wondered, as Alfred had said, why did everything had to be that way, and then arrived to the conclusion the problem wasn’t on others, but on himself. Arthur had been the strange one, the different one. And the world didn’t appreciate people being different. Sure, occasionally they would blabber about the importance of being oneself, but they’d often only refer to the spectrum that was socially acceptable.

His attention span soon focused on one of the metal bars that consisted the curtain pole of the dinner room. Arthur stared at it, with an almost child-like curiosity, as realization invaded him.

With dizziness keeping him from thinking properly, Arthur tried to remember where he had left the belt he’d often use when the company he worked on demanded a formal attire.

And so, he walked through the house, like an animal searching for water. Like a flower searching for the last rays of sunshine.

And then, Arthur saw the stars.

He recoiled, shame running through his spine, while staring fully on those bright entities that had witnessed his desires in a laconic manner. The stars started to leave a hypnotic effect on Arthur, who seemed to have sobered up.

He couldn’t do it. Arthur was miserable, indeed, but he had born the same way every other villager in town. They all had the same right to living, so interrupting his existence because of them appeared to be a rather abominable death.

Instead, he went to his room, leaving the scene with a smile on his face. Arthur wasn’t happy but, somehow, his emerging nervousness gave him a feeling of comfort, just aware of the myriad of possibilities life had yet to offer him.

When lying on his bed, Arthur caressed his cheek, as a mechanism of reassurance. The tears were starting to dry. He hugged the closest pillow. The nest was fluffy and warm, making him feel as in some kind of palace, away from all those unfavorable events.

Arthur wasn’t one to run away. He knew it, and he wasn’t planning on doing it so. Arthur would, finally, start to cherish life, while stop caring about what he, omega or not, was supposed to do in eyes of others.

And, if no one would love him because of that, it wouldn’t matter, thought the broken omega; he’d just have to start loving himself. And, as difficult as that task appeared to be, Arthur just knew that’d be an effort he was willing to take.

[adasexton1993]

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