#which im definitely not currently screaming into my hands about

[hyukalyptus]

or else what? —hueningkai x fem!reader | enemies to enemies with benefits(?). NSFW/MDNI!

cw. mean dom!kai, reader and kai are mean to each other, feat. soob and yj and their partners for a very short amount of time (not in smut part tho), camping, reader is a type A boss bitch kinda person, mentions of rain, kissing, hair pulling, mean names (slut, stupid, dumb, loser), pet names (baby), sex, light restraining, ruined orgasms, biting, nipple play, some dacryphilia, maybe a lil bit of publicness? (theyre at a campsite but implied no one else can hear anything), creampie, reader is embarrassed that she did stuff w kai and tells him, reader has a dog, reader is good at video games, chubby!reader implied, lmk if i missed anything! notes. im usually not one for mean stuff, im way more of a softie, so i tried something new but im quite nervous about it. oh! and this is based off a thought i posted the other week. lmk what ya think ;) smut under cut. wc. 4.1K

“Why are you being nice to him?” You snap at your dog who is currently greeting your friends at your front door. Normally, you wouldn’t mind, of course, but they have taken a particular liking for Kai. Apparently, you’re the only person in the world that hates him. Kai that is. The constant laughing, the sickeningly sweet optimism, and his sheer humility—it all screams fake to you.

You hate every little thing about him and he hates you right back. The way you disagree with everything he says just because, how you’re always pointing out when he’s wrong, how you seem to be depressingly pessimistic. You put up with each other for the sake of your friends—not everyone in every friend group has to get along, right? 

“Nice to see you too.”

“Someone separate them please?” Soobin asks. “I can’t deal with another argument right now.” He rubs his temple out of caution.

Everyone’s over for a game night—Soobin, his partner, River, as well as Yeonjun, and your best friend, Sage, who has been in an on-again-off-again relationship with him since they met. Right now, they’re off, but definitely still friendly. 

“How about some Smash Bros?”

“No,” you say to Kai. “Mario Kart.” 

“River and I have been talking about playing Smash Bros all day.”

“Not my problem.”

“How about we take a vote?” He suggests. You reluctantly agree, watching as you’re the only one that raises your hand to play Mario Kart before you glare at Sage, guilting them into voting for it too. Regardless of their vote, though, it’s still four against two. Kai sticks out his tongue at you just to rub it in your face. God, you hate it when he wins. 

“Maybe you should stop pouting,” Sage says, nudging your shoulder. “Beat him in the next round. You know you’re better than anyone here.” You take the opportunity to easily—and quickly—beat Kai in a one-on-one match. Now it’s his turn to pout while he grabs a snack. 

Luckily, everyone makes it through the night without any blood or tears shed but when the group’s annual camping trip comes up, the cold weather mixed with the prolonged close proximity to people leads to a grumpy Kai arguing with an even grumpier you. 

The reason behind the initial argument is long forgotten—you’re seemingly arguing over anything and everything from you stopping too often to take pictures to him taking sips from your water bottle, which he insists was an accident. Everyone’s keeping you two as far apart from each other as possible, with him leading the pack and you bringing up the rear. 

“It looks like it’s gonna rain soon,” River points out. “We should probably set up camp.” Everyone agrees, setting sights for the campsite. 

“What do you think about this spot over here, Sage?” You ask but are immediately answered with the guiltiest look from them, eyes glancing between you and Yeonjun. “Don’t tell me.” You roll your eyes for what feels like the millionth time that day. “You’re back together?” You ask quietly.

“Please don’t be mad,” they say. “It’s going really well this time.” 

“I didn’t bring another tent.” 

“Kai’s tent is huge,” Sage says, loud enough for Kai to hear, as if they’re making a suggestion to him. “Can she stay with you?” 

“I thought Yeonjun was sleeping in my tent.” 

“I was gonna stay in Sage’s,” Yeonjun responds, with an attempted wink. Everyone looks between each other, dodging each other’s eyes, no one wanting to give in. Everyone’s desperate to stay with their partners but you and Kai are desperate to not spend a single second alone together. Soobin and River won’t budge. Sage’s pleading eyes looking at you added to the pleading eyes Yeonjun sends Kai, you look at each other before he finally agrees—

“Fine,” Kai says, dropping the poles to the ground. “You gotta finish setting it up though. I’m gonna go get some water and refill the cooler with ice,” he says, leaving you with an impossible task. There’s a reason you didn’t bring your own tent.

Struggling with the tent for at least thirty minutes, it’s even less put together than when Kai turned the task over to you. The two couples have snuggled into their tents for the night and the drizzle is quickly turning into a downpour. Soaked, cold, and annoyed, Kai’s making his way back to you, anger etched all over his face when he doesn’t have a dry tent to walk into. 

“Do you not know how to put a tent up?”

“No, actually I don’t.”

“I could’ve set up three tents by now,” he says, but doesn’t have time to be much madder—he’s gotta get a roof over his own head. Without speaking, he takes over completely, getting it up in about ten minutes. It would’ve been quicker if he didn’t have to work in the rain. 

Settling in, you try to dry the parts of the interior that got wet from the rain, but it doesn’t help much. He peels off his now-soaked shirt and searches for a dry one. 

“Ah, that was my last t-shirt.”

“I’m sorry. I tried—”

“I don’t care,” he stops you, holding his hand up.

Falling silent, you change the subject, “What took you so long anyway?”

“I was talking to someone at the ice machine for a while,” he says matter-of-factly, holding up his laptop. “Wanna watch a movie before bed?” 

“No.” You lay your head on the stupid camping pillow hoping for some rest. But your plan is disrupted by the blaring trumpets of a movie intro. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Watching a movie.” 

“Turn it off.” 

“I didn’t ask for permission to watch it,” he points out. “I asked if you wanted to join me.”

“Isn’t it gonna bother the other campers?”

“Doubt they can hear it.”

Frustrated, you roll over and cover your ears. You thought you could sleep through anything, especially with the rain pouring outside, but you were wrong. Eventually, you give up, throwing your pillow down and slamming his laptop shut.

“What are you doing? You asshole—” he snaps, glaring at you. 

“Me? You’re the ass for not letting me sleep,” you fire back, narrowing your eyes. 

“I wasn’t supposed to have you in here anyway,” he mutters. 

“I’m not an asshole,” you say defensively.

“Yes, you are,” he spits. “You always have to have it your way.”

“I’m not having this argument with you,” you say, turning away and trying to block out his escalating anger. You pull the thin camping blanket over your head, desperate for some peace.

He huffs, clearly frustrated, but you ignore it. The sound of rain tapping against the tent becomes your only solace. Minutes pass in silence, each second stretching longer than the last. You can feel his restless energy beside you, the tension almost palpable.

“I can't believe you. You're so annoying,” he says. 

You simply lay there, trying to block out the muttering under his breath. The stickiness of the damp sleeping bags and the cold camping pillow are ridiculously uncomfortable.

Remembering the clean, dry blankets you have stored in the trunk of your car for emergencies and you get up to grab them silently, ignoring his insults. Returning with them, his eyes light up and he asks, “Where did you get those?”

“My car,” you answer nonchalantly, setting up your new bed. You try to salvage what you can of the sleeping bag to have some kind of barrier between the damp tent floor and your blanket, but it’s not perfect. Eventually settling on the makeshift bed, you can feel Kai staring at you through your closed eyelids. “Can I help you?” You ask without opening them.

“Aren’t you gonna share those with me?”

“Why would I?”

“You’re the one that got our other blankets and the tent all wet.” 

“Not my fault you didn’t bring back-up.”

He exasperates, clearly done with you and all your…what does he call it? Selfish nonsense? “I can’t believe I have to share a tent with you. And you get it all wet in here and won’t even share the dry blankets with me?” 

“You think I'm happy about this either?" Your arms flail before you go on one of your famous rants. “I don’t even like camping but I come along with Sage because they’re my best friend and I was looking forward to spending time alone with them to talk but because they decided to start fucking Yeonjun again I have to sleep in a tent with you, which you make me put together even though I don’t know how to put it together so its disgusting in here and you expect me to share my blankets with you? You’re never nice to me why the fuck would I share them with you? You’re always making me look like a bitch in front of everyone when I know you’re just—”

Kai suddenly yanks you by your elbow and says, “Would you please just shut up?” 

Seeing him this mad…you don’t know if he’s ever looked like this. Red in the face, eyebrows furrowed, not to mention he’s still shirtless since all his clothes are soaked. You look over his body—you’ve never seen him before—and you realize just how muscular he is. Broad-shouldered, defined pecs and ripples in his arms, particularly the one gripping you so harshly. 

You smirk at him before saying, “Make me." Looking over your face, he doesn’t know what comes over him. Maybe it's anger or frustration or the ambiance from the sound of rain against the tent and the small camping lamp, but he can’t help it. 

Crashing his lips into yours, you’re taken by surprise. You feel the power his plush lips give off, but only for a second before you push him off. 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“I don’t–I don’t know, I, uh…” He stutters, trying to find something—anything—to say, but no luck. Looking at each other, something clicks like we need to have each other now. 

You pull him to you by cupping his cheeks and crashing your lips into his quickly, eagerly, desperately. Hands in his hair, his on your hips, he squeezes your chubby thighs, wanting more, but—

“Woah, woah, woah, what’s happening? You and I are making out?” He asks, shock etched across his face as his eyebrows furrow. 

“Well, not anymore.” You look at him confused. “Did you forget you’re the one that kissed me first?”

“That was just so you’d shut up.”

“Don’t act like you don’t want me. I see you staring at my tits all the time.” You smirk at him and his eyes shift, admitting guilt. Realization hits you. “...Is that why you’re such an ass to me? Because you’re sexually frustrated whenever you’re around me? Do you…like me?”

“No,” he says defensively. “I hate you actually. You’re so annoying.” He rolls his eyes. “But the most annoying part about you is how much I wanna fuck you.” Your eyes widen, but a smile slowly spreads across his face before he asks, “Is that why you’re such an ass to me?” Leaning in closer, he examines your face, looking for any sign of weakness. “It is, isn’t it?” You shake your head. “Say it.” 

“Kai.”

“I wanna hear you say you want me.”

The quickest, most disingenuous, “I want you,” comes out of your mouth. Did you really just say that? It’s not like you haven’t noticed how handsome he’d gotten recently, but it’s also not like you’ve ever thought about doing anything. Before tonight, the thought of him even touching you made your skin crawl. But right now, you don’t think you’ve ever wanted anyone more. Reaching for him, you add, “Now shut up and fuck me.” 

Still shirtless from when he peeled off the wet fabric a few minutes ago, he tugs at the hem of your tank top. Slipping it off you, his eyebrows raise at your bare chest—full and needing to be squeezed, which he does immediately. Your nipples perky and hard from arousal and the cool air are simply begging to be sucked. His warm, welcoming and wet lips wrapped around one elicit a sound from you that you hope is covered by the rain outside. 

The others would never let you live it down if they heard you two fucking. 

Mouths all over—his on your nipples and your collarbone, yours on his mouth and his shoulders—it’s a whirlwind of kisses and pure lust. 

“I hate you,” you murmur, adding a nice hair tug for good measure. 

“I hate you too,” he responds. “So much.” The tent, damp from the rain and hot breath warms you up, skin slick with a sheen of sweat. Sleeping bags and blankets ruffle underneath your bodies as you rush to undress each other fully. “You’re so fucking stupid,” he says against your ear. “Don’t even know how to put up a tent. Need my help for everything?”

“You’ve never been any help to me,” you respond. “Plus, we wouldn’t have gotten rained on so much if you didn’t get lost leading everyone. Need your phone for everything? Can’t even handle one short hike? Good for nothing,” you spit. “Except…you’re kind of a good kisser.”

“Wish I could say the same about you.”

“Don’t lie,” you smirk. “I’m an incredible kisser.” He may roll his eyes but he heads straight back for more. “But you’re taking too long. Hurry up,” you say between kisses. Grazing his hand down your hip, he slides two fingers between your pussy lips and—

“You’re that wet for me and I’ve barely even touched you? Desperate slut.” You grab his cock, making him jerk forward, his mouth dropping open.

“You’re already that hard and I’ve barely even touched you? Horny loser.” Without warning, he lines himself up at your entrance and shoves his cock inside you, forcing a yelp from your throat.

Covering your mouth, he leans down, gracing his lips over your earlobe before whispering, “You never shut the fuck up, do you?” And he’s relentless. Fucking you fast and hard, whispering mean, dirty shit in your ear, shivers rolling down your spine at every syllable. “You don’t deserve to feel this good.”

“And you think you deserve this pussy?” You fire right back. Although, he does seem to be winning with the sheer amount of moaning coming from your mouth compared to his controlled sounds and expert movements. You try your best to compose yourself before saying, “A dumb fuck like you doesn’t deserve to even touch my skin.”

“Is that why you gasp when I pinch your nipples?” He asks. You narrow your eyes at him. But he definitely proves himself right. Rolling your nipple between his pointer finger and thumb, basking in the chills it gives you, clearly sending shocks of pleasure throughout your body. You reach to touch his broad chest but he stops you. “Nuh-uh. Hands to yourself,” he says, gripping your wrists harshly and pinning them to the ground. 

Suddenly, you’ve never wanted to touch someone more in your life. The way his skin glistens, muscles looking so strong, a bead of sweat drips between his pecs and you swear you clit twitches. Honestly, you’re in shock. What do you usually do with your hands? Since when has he been like this? An absolute slut? A mean slut at that. But you love it. 

Your hands stay at your side after he moves to squeeze your body again but you can’t help but reach up—you’re desperate to touch him. He halts, lifting his fingers off your tits. 

“Every time you try to touch me without permission, I’ll stop touching you,” he says. You surrender, putting your hands under your back. “Good girl.”

Fuck. That felt nice too. Being degraded is one thing, but getting rewarded for following directions? That’s delicious. Heat rushes to your ears. 

“Please—”

“Ah,” he places his pointer finger over your lips. “I told you to shut up, didn’t I?” You make a show of keeping your mouth closed. “You learn so fast, hm?” You smile—a genuine giddy smile. “So cute,” he whispers, placing a thumb on your clit, circling it gently. 

But when a weak little, “Fuck,” slips out of your mouth, he stops.

“Did I say you could speak?” You shake your head. Running a thumb across the apple of your cheek, he gives you a look somewhere between my pathetic little slut and you’re being such a good girl for me. 

Keeping your mouth shut, your body is in complete bliss, succumbing to the overwhelming pleasure his cock and hands are giving you. You’re positively drunk on his cock, letting him do whatever he wants to you—touch you here, lick and bite you there, kiss on this, suck on that—not only to be his good little slut, but because it feels fucking incredible. He knows what he’s doing, you’ll give him that. 

Then you feel it, your orgasm is slowly approaching, every move he makes pushes you closer and closer to the edge. And he knows it. The little whimpers you make, trying to hold back. The twitches your clit makes. The pulses of your pussy. 

“Aw,” he starts condescendingly. “Is my good little slut gonna come for me?” You nod rapidly, being sure to keep your mouth shut and movements under control. The last thing you want right now is a punishment. Or maybe it’s the thing you want most? The lines are too blurred to tell. “Say it.”

You can barely mumble it, but you manage to croak out, “You’re gonna make me come, Kai.”

“Good girl.” He doesn’t change a single thing. It creeps closer and closer until you can feel your body start to tip over. And then he does something…expected? Surprising? Honestly, you’re not so sure anymore. He stops, your orgasm so close to crashing over you, ruined by this son of a bitch. 

Tears form in your eyes. Was he really doing this to you? This annoying, stupid fucking jerk you’ve hated for years making you cry over his cock? 

“That’s for being such a goddamn nuisance since the day I met you.” 

What do you do now? Be a jerk to him? Overpower him and pin him down? Sit there like a hole needing to be fucked? You decide to go for the last option, hoping he’ll make you come as fast as he can. Although, truthfully, you feel like one swipe across your clit would make you finish you at this point. 

“Tell me you don’t deserve me.” You keep your mouth shut. Gently wrapping his fingers around your throat, you stare at his eyes. He chuckles like he’s proud of you before he says, “You may speak.” 

“I don’t deserve you.” He squeezes harder, almost like he’s saying that’s not enough. “I don’t deserve to feel this good. I don’t deserve your cock. I don’t deserve…anything.” 

“Good girl.” He loosens his grip around your throat. He’s done with his fun now. The ache in both of your bodies is getting unbearable and he’s determined to make you come first. Which he supposes he already did, despite ruining it for you. But he’s gotta get you back to that place before he gets there first.

Returning to the hard and fast pace of fucking you like he was a few minutes ago, his cock slams in and out and out of your pussy, ripples running down your thighs, ass, tits, everywhere. He stares in awe of your perfect tits bouncing in rhythm with his thrusts. 

Your mouth opens and closes like you want to say something, but if you speak without permission, he may stop. You decide to take a chance anyway. 

“Kai…” you squeak out through the rough movements. He responds with a sweet yet sinister smile that says you may speak. “You are gonna let me come, right?”

His eyebrows furrow, face full of pity. He asks, “You think I should?”

“You better or I’ll…” You trail off.

“You’ll what?” He stops moving, therefore earning a pathetic whine from you, trying to protest without words. “What are you gonna do to me?”

Now what’s a good punishment for him? Clearly, he’s used to being the one punishing his sexual partners—you wonder how his other subs have dealt with him being a jerk. You don’t want to overpower him like you thought you did. There’s something about being pinned down like this, letting him do whatever he wants, not having to move an inch. You’re such a powerful woman everywhere else—the type A personality type, which you admit can get overwhelmingly exhausting. 

Letting someone take full control over you like this—it’s relaxing. You wonder how much he’s enjoying himself but you notice the way his eyes flutter when you simply tighten your pussy around his cock, how he hasn’t stopped touching you since you finally let him, hell, he kissed you first. Of course he’s enjoying this. And bingo—you’ve got just enough control to get what you want. 

“I’ll never let you fuck me like this again.” 

Narrowing his eyes at you, it's like he knows that you caught him in the act of something. Cocking his head to the side, he asks, “We can’t let that happen, now can we?”

Somehow, the energy shifts to be even more desperate. Taking out years and years of frustration from hating each other while simultaneously wanting to have sex. Fucking as fast as your bodies will let you, the tent fills with the absolutely obscene noises coming from your mouths. The only reason you aren’t holding back is because the rain beating against the plastic tent and the occasional thunder thankfully covers most of it. 

When one of his thumbs finds your clit, you feel like you’re floating. The air falls out of your lungs, pleasure taking over your body as you relax into your orgasm. You’re drunk, high on his cock and the only thing you’re seeing are stars and that stupid smirk plastered across his face. It rips through your body like lightning, shooting out your toes and fingertips. 

“Talk to me,” he says breathlessly in your ear. But you can’t. You can only manage strangled noises to let him know you’re having an incredible orgasm. 

Coming down from your high, though, you finally say, “Fuck, that felt so good.” 

“Tell me how good.”

“You made me feel so…so fucking good, Kai,” you say, shaking your head, unsure of what else to tell him. Call it post-nut clarity, but why the hell were you having sex with him again? Honestly, who cares? He’s actually pretty hot and he’s damn good at this too. What happens after this? Enemies with benefits? Never mention it again? You make a note to come back to this with him later. But right now, you need to get to the matter at hand. “Why don’t you tell me how good I feel?”

“Oh baby, you feel so good,” he says. “Your pussy might be the only thing I like about you.” He chuckles, his mouth dropping open, undeniably close to his own orgasm. “Well, maybe your pussy and your tits.” Burying his face between them, he bites down on the plush, groaning against your skin. 

“I need you to come inside me, Kai. Please.” 

“Keep talking to me like that.”

And you do. Giving him praise, touching him in all the right places, putting on a show for him. With a few final thrusts, he groans, whispering something you don’t catch, but you feel it. Him coming inside you with a sexy groan, covering your chest in the sloppiest of kisses and bites. 

Catching his breath, he whispers breathlessly, “Damn. That was good.” Sliding out of you, an awkwardness catches up with the two of you. You push yourself up on your elbows, attempting to gather your thoughts. His eyes are still dark with desire as he looks at you with a satisfied smirk. 

“Listen,” you say, covering your chest with your blanket. “This can’t happen again.” His smile drops.

“What?”

“The fact that we did that,” you gesture between the two of you, “never leaves this tent, you hear me?” Cocking his head to the side, he nods awkwardly. “No one can find out about this. God, I’d be so embarrassed. Let’s just…get some sleep.” 

Did you forget about what he said?

Or I’ll never let you fuck my like this again. Using that as a threat if he didn’t let you come meant you wanted to do it again, no? Slowly putting on his boxers again, he agrees, turning away from you to try and get some sleep but, all of a sudden, there’s too much on his mind. 

[nerdysleepybunny]

Hallo! im new here so please let me know if i cross any boundries.'

anywho, I was wondering if i could request a platonic philza and/or techno comfort? ive had bad few days :(

Have a wonderful day/night!

I APOLOGIZE FOR GETTING TO THIS SO LATE!! I literally love dsmp asks even though the fandom is dying off, so this definitely isn’t crossing any boundaries! I hope you’re doing better. My dms are open if you ever need to chat! :D

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

Fandom(s): DreamSMP

Character(s): Philza, Technoblade (ft. Mumza & Chat)

Reader: Gender neutral (you/your)

Style: Hcs

TW: N/A

Summary: How Philza and Technoblade (separate) would comfort you!

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

Philza:

I feel like he’s the type to just know you aren’t doing well before you even say anything.

Like, you’re just sitting there in your feels, then suddenly?

BOOM CONCERNED DAD RIGHT IN YOUR FACE

“Are you okay, mate?”

“Do you need anything?”

“Here, let’s sit and have a chat.”

Literally shooing chat away so it’s just the two of you having quality time together.

Would sit down next to you on a couch, but probably wouldn’t initiate any touching. The most I see him doing is a shoulder pat or a hand rubbing your back.

Of course, he wouldn’t mind you leaning on him or embracing him! He just doesn’t want to touch you in case you want your space :)

If you want to talk about it he’s there to listen and offer wise old man advice (if you call him old while you’re upset, it’s the ONE time he won’t get defensive about it)

Like

He’s just talking giving you some advice about your problems, then he hears you snickering

“What’s so funny?”

“You sound so old right now, Phil.”

Usually he’d shout his usual “I’M NOT OLD/I’m only in my 30’s, mate…” (I’m pretty sure he’s canonically thousands of years old but shh let grandpa be delusional)

But now? He’d just chuckle and shake his head

“Whatever you say, mate.”

DON’T EXPECT HIM TO BE SOFT FOREVER, IT’S ONLY BECAUSE YOU’RE CURRENTLY SAD

After you’ve concluded your venting/told him that you don’t want to talk about it

You know what time it is…

DISTRACTIONS!!!

Pillow fort anyone? He’s giving pillow fort vibes.

He’s a dad, so obviously he’d just do all the work and build it for you. Again, only because you’re sad. Any other time he’d yell at you for not helping.

Speaking of sadness

Don’t let Phil’s wife see you sad…

OH NO YOU’RE SAD? NOW MUMZA IS SAD AND IS RUSHING TO COMFORT YOU

Mumza is the type to cry when she sees someone else crying, so now both of you are just sobbing together and Phil is there trying to comfort the two of you but is an overwhelmed old man and may end up crying himself

Uh… cry party?

Either you all end up making fun of each other for crying which results in you all laughing together, or you just cry till you get sleepy and pass out on the floor together.

What an interesting way to family bond.

Technoblade:

So you seek The Blade for comfort, the most monochrome and nonchalant man on the server. What a wonderful decision, reader! /lh (I’d do the exact same)

If you’re a Technoblade fan you’ve definitely heard the “it’s fine” audio.

Now I can either be wholesome and say he’d hold you close and whisper that everything will be okay to you

Or I can be silly and realistic and say that he’d pull out a phone and just play the audio with a blank face, but is laughing on the inside due to your “what the actual fuck” face.

Okay now for some actual comfort!

As we all know… Technoblade isn’t exactly good at comfort.

He kills orphans for a living, how do you think he’d react seeing someone crying like a child?

He’s standing looking at you with a look of “why is this creature screaming” and “wtf do I do”

“Uh… you good? You okay? You, uh… need a hug…?”

Very awkwardly holds his arms out for a hug, and if you accept, he even more awkwardly pats your back.

If you got his shirt wet with tears, he’d DEFINITELY comment about it

“Are you seriously ruining my shirt? How are my enemies supposed to think I have a good fashion sense now?!”

Goes into a rant about how he needs to look his best and how it’s a good strategy to beat his enemies in battle while you’re kinda just there… honestly are you even crying anymore?

You’ve stopped crying ages ago, and he’s still just talking

In conclusion, Technoblade is good at calming people down without even trying (I was literally having a breakdown and all I needed to do was listen to the silly pig man talk about Greek mythology. It must all be part of his master plan…)

Speaking of listening to his voice, here’s a scenario.

“Technoblade, can you read to me?”

“…what?”

“Read to me.”

“I’m not reading you a bedtime stor-“

“I wanted you to tell me about Greek mythology.”

“Fine. Come here.”

Long story short, he starts by reading you just one story. That one story turns into the entire history of the Greek gods and goddesses… yeah you pass out pretty quickly. But Technoblade isn’t one to stop mid-ramble. Once he notices you’re asleep, he’ll continue talking, just quieter. He’ll eventually get sleepy himself, and soon enough… you’re both asleep.

Works like a charm!

🩷☁️N E R D Y S L E E P Y B U N N Y☁️🩷

[willsimpforanyone]

HIHIHI!!! I'M SOSO HAPPY YOURE BACK :3 May I request a Leo x reader smut where he gets home from work frustrated n eats the reader out 'til they're overstimulated? THIS IS SO WEIRD IM SORRY 😣ANYWAY I LOVE YOU, ITS OKAY IF YOU DONT DO THIS ASK, M JUST REALLY HAPPY YOU'RE BACK !!!!! (can I be 💀anon, if that's open? :3)

of course you can be skull anon (i'm on my laptop so i can't use emojis lol) also sweetheart this is definitely not weird this is an excellent request lmao lets gooooo

minors dni, includes leo being a little mean and eating the reader out until they cry, one singular spank, reader has a pussy but everything else is gender neutral and of course, all characters are over 18

---------------------------------

If I think back, really I could have predicted this from the moment I woke up.

Leo was gone by the time I opened my eyes, a note on the bedside table alongside a flower folded from a paperclip. The note was a mess of errors, his dyslexia playing up is always a sign of stress.

The second sign would be the wildly out-of-character short text responses I recieved, queries about his day being met with monosyllabic answers. There was nothing I could do, so I'd sat down at my laptop to work from home for the day, a little worried about him but figuring he was a big boy, he'd survive a hard day.

The third and most obvious sign that today did not go well was the jangling of the keys in the lock, followed by rapid-fire Spanish swearing. I'd laughed, saving my work and abandoning my laptop on my desk to go save Leo from the door or vice versa, whatever the case may have been.

Bright smile on my face, I'd opened the door and hardly gotten the first syllable of 'what did the door do to you?' out my mouth before I was promptly cut off by his lips on mine. Nothing gentle, nothing patient, just frustration and irritation and a need for something, anything, to go right.

Which led to my current position. My thighs shake around his head as I hold myself over his face, his fingers digging in firmly to my flesh as he pulls me back down. "One more."

A pathetic, almost-sob lurches from my throat as his tongue laps harshly at my pussy. My fingers clench at the headboard, holding on for dear life as Leo sucks and licks and tongue-fucks me into nearing my third orgasm of the evening.

"I c-can't," I wail, gasping and moaning as he laughs darkly against my pussy. He lets go of my thigh only briefly to land a firm smack on my ass.

"You can, and you will," he growls, voice low and leaving no room for questioning his command. His lips close around my clit and suck, looking up at me through half-lidded, dark, fierce eyes as I choke on a scream. Giving up on the headboard, I fist my hands in Leo's curly hair, whole body trembling as I come against his mouth for the third time. He laps it up greedily, burying his tongue as deep as he can to coax every drop of my release from me.

My body almost gives up on me, tipping to the side as my jelly legs fail to continue to hold me up. Still riding high and almost drunk on pleasure, I hardly notice when Leo catches me smoothly, flipping us around so he's above me. His lower face shines, swollen, slick lips parted as he pants with a filthy grin.

"You think you've got another one in you?"

He doesn't give me a chance to respond, promptly wriggling down the bed to stuff his face back between my legs, moaning against my oversensitive pussy as he gets another taste. My limp, exhausted body responds to his encouragement, every nerve on fire as he swirls his tongue around my folds.

"T-Too much," I whimper, useless hands half-heartedly fisting the sheets at my sides. "Can't- Leo, fuck, please, gonna fuckin' break me-"

"One more," he whispers against me, looking up from between my thighs and reaching his hands to lace his fingers with mine. "Give me one more, babe, then we're done, I promise."

I whine in protest on behalf of my tired body, but I nod. Leo grins and dives back down, nose nudging my swollen clit as he presses softer, languid open-mouthed kisses against my cunt. It's so much, pleasure feeling like a wrecking ball as my heart pounds against my ribs, and tears spring hot to my eyes.

It takes barely a few minutes for Leo to draw one last orgasm from me, my whole being exhausted and milked dry as I grind shakily against his tongue. His fingers squeeze mine tightly, grounding and reassuring as he drinks down my release, sighing happily as he makes me come for the fourth time.

With one final kiss, soft and sweet, between my legs, Leo crawls up the bed to press his lips to my forehead. "Thank you, oh, you did so good for me, I'm so proud of you, honey..."

I cling to him weakly, sniffling slightly as my body quivers underneath him, but a small smile tugs at my lips as he litters kisses all over my face. His praise is constant, his earlier frustration vanished as he wraps me up in his arms and gently wipes the tears from my cheeks.

"Shh, I know, it was a lot, huh?" he coos, nuzzling his nose into my cheek. "Thank you so much, I needed that, needed to feel my baby falling apart for me... let's get you cleaned up, hm?"

In a little bit, I'll get him to talk; ask him how his day was, why he was so upset earlier. For now, I'm dazed and exhausted but happy, more than content to stay cuddled up in Leo's arms, whispered promises of a homecooked meal settling warm in my chest.

-------------------------

a bit of a shorter one but i very much hope you enjoyed!

[sturniolo04]

Holy Cow! Did you just ask me out C.S.

Fwb!Bf!Chris x Fwb!Gf!Fem!Reader

A/N: If you don't like the preadded name in my stories, you can either add your own name or not read it; it's up to you :)

Ever since you were a little kid the only thing you could remember aside from the fact your parents couldn't decide on a first name for you ultimately giving you two Anna Katherine so everyone just calls you A.K. but you always remembered how you and the triplets were attached to the hip considering you guys grew up together in Boston. You took an extreme liking to Chris just because you shared more things in common with your high-spirited energy and quite frankly you and Chris were always getting in trouble and Nick would always get you out of it being the oldest out of the three, you guys definitely owe him.

Chris and Ak's relationship was always a little more than just friends or even best friends, everyone could sense this romantic relationship tension in highschool. It became really apparent to you both individually during sophomore year considering the busy schedule you both adopted which made you guys realize how much you two miss the presence of the other.

Which brings you to now, sitting at your house in LA that you share with your roommate in college, Sarah, who is currently on vacation for spring break. You and Chris had still keep your friendship close unfortunately you or chris never grew enough nerves to solve and address the very romantic tension that was still apparently present even after highschool.

"Anna K"

chris screams as you open the door to let him and his brothers in.

"oh my god Christopher"

you exclaim back hugging him seeing that had just gotten back to LA from tour.

"how was tour you goofball"

you ask chris as you and him made your way to your room sitting on your bed after you greeted matt and nick and after him ultimately telling you he needed to talk to you about something.

" it was so amazing i feel so blessed to even have the opportunity to do something like that and have such a huge impact on people's live"

he excitedly states as you subtly smile at your best friend hearing how happy he sounds at just explaining tour.

"i love that for you chris"

you beam replying to him.

"yeah but i wished you were there though with us"

he nonchalantly states resulting in a surprised look to take over your face.

"what you missed me"

you joke out pushing his shoulder playfully.

"i mean- yeah "

he trails off shyly as your face morphs in a softer expression

"i didnt realize how much i like when you are with me all the time I just I think I realized that I"

he breathes out.

"chris"

you softly breath out.

"i like you and i want you to be my girlfriend"

he rushes softly out as your jaw drops.

"chris i-i"

you stutter out with a loss of words as he scratches the back of his head embarrassed at your reaction.

"shit um i for-"

he nervously replies regretting his previous sentences.

"wait im sorry did you just ask me out"

you joke with him giggling not believing that chris your best friend just admitted he liked you and wanted to be your boyfriend.

" yes i did Ak, im being serious. I cant believe I did either honestly"

he huffs out chuckles mumbling the last part.

"yes chris i would love to for your to be my boyfriend"

you giggle out as you reach out and grab his shaky hand as he lets out a breath of air as he hangs he head down chuckling as you follow his movements with caring eyes.

"i was really nervous about all the way here"

he giggles out as you laugh along with him.

'really aw chris"

"yeah"

he breathes out

"well im glad you asked"

he reply as he nods his head.

"c'mere"

you say opening your arms and standing up to bring him in a hug as he nuzzles his head in your neck.

taglist

@mintsturniolo @wh0resstuff @dirtylittleheart333 @stayingstromboli @emely9274 @spicymuffins03

[five-hxrgreeves]

im dYIIIINGGGG with the adam warlock x quill sister! when he calls her 'little quill'??? with that accent of his??? so soft and husky??? im screaming at my phone dude aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i need part iii right freaking now!!!

PAIRING: adam warlock & fem! quill’s sister!reader

POWERS: adapted from D.C.'s Stargirl, although in this instance, the powers are a part of you and the staff just helps you use them.

WC: 1.9k (woo a shorter one this time!) 

SUMMARY: your first meeting with Adam wasn't one that indicated that you'd become friends anytime soon. Your second meeting. . . wasn't great either. But, somewhere along the line, you would develop a soft spot for the curious man-child.

WARNINGS: slight gotg three spoilers, badly written original fight scene, possibly ooc canon!guardians.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: OMG!!! This is my first-ever inbox message- thank you, anon! You made my day with this <3 I love Adam's/Will's accent; I definitely hope that we get to see (and hear) more of him in other Marvel movies. As requested, here's part three (even if it's technically part zero, lol.) I do take requests if anyone wants to send me stuff! (I just won't write smut, sorry!)

I hope you guys enjoy this part, although I'm not very confident about it since I'm terrible at writing fight scenes. It's hard enough for me to imagine original content (like the other two parts) but scenes where people move around a lot without the movie itself to rely on are very difficult for me because my mind doesn't think in pictures, but in words and I don't know how to describe fighting. I'm sorry if this isn't as good as the other parts. 😭

And on a side note, the 'no shit, Captain Sherlock' is another reference to space people messing up Terran lingo :)

Part 1 , Part 2

You were admittedly not in the best mood when you first (officially) met Adam. Peter and Mantis had left only days ago, leaving you to sort out your feelings alone. You were currently in the training room, fueling your sadness into anger at their abandonment. You often used your powers to aid you while you were fighting, but they weren’t much use during everyday life— unless you wanted to fly. Now, however, they were very useful.

Brilliant blasts of golden light shot out from the staff that your hands gripped tightly. While your powers could be used without aid, the staff helped you control them; Ego had made it for you when you’d become old enough to serve as his protector. Although you were disgusted with the weapon’s origins, you couldn’t help but agree that it made your fighting much more effective.

Each of your blasts hit the targets squarely in the middle as you turned deftly to conquer the row. A scowl was prominent on your face as you pictured each of your targets as Peter’s or Mantis’ face. (While you would never really want to hurt them, of course, the sting of their desertion fueled your thoughts.) You were listening to a playlist by the Rage Against the Machine— which you had chosen solely because of the band’s name as it mirrored your feelings. The music that was blasting in your ears was so loud that, if someone had been standing next to you, they could have heard the lyrics as if they were wearing your headphones themselves.

As you moved up and down the line of targets, you were unaware of the audience of three that had entered the room. Groot, Rocket and Adam stopped by the entrance to watch you unleash your fury against whatever enemy you were envisioning. The new leader of the Guardians gestured to you. “There. See? I told you she’s nice.”

Adam hesitated, clearly uncertain. “She looks mad.”

“I am Groot,” Groot agreed.

“Shut up,” Rocket retorted, glaring slightly at the tree who was supposed to be helping his case. “She won’t hurt goldie. You’ve already seen her bad side, haven’t you? This is nuthin’.”

The golden boy had to admit that Rocket was right; he remembered only too well his first encounter with you as you’d jumped in to help your friends fight off his unexpected attack.

--

He’d just defeated the stupid tree-like thing and as it scuttled away like a demented spider, the faint sound of a whistle pierced through the air. An arrow shot out of nowhere, harmlessly bouncing off his skin and only annoying him more than anything else. He looked around sharply, but there didn’t seem to be anyone brave enough to fight him in the vicinity. “Hey! Who threw that?”

He scoffed when there was no answer, stalking towards where he’d last seen his target. But before he could get very far, a force came out of nowhere— this time much stronger than an errant arrow. It knocked him off his feet like a bullet and together they were sent flying through the town, which elicited more cries of fear from the citizens.

He landed harshly against a building that got in the way and debris fell on top of him from the force of the collision. Adam grunted irritably; this was the second time during this fight that his enemy thought that throwing him into a building would be enough to deter his attack— didn’t they ever learn? He stood and shook the dust off his clothes before he strode back out to the street to face this new opponent. Except— it wasn’t the same blue person from before.

The golden boy stared at the other person with disbelief, the only thing that he could come up with was: “you’re a girl!”

She scoffed. “Yeah, no shit, Captain Sherlock.” She twirled the staff in her hands expertly between her fingers before she set the butt down on the ground. It glowed softly as it lit up with her power, her face set. “Let’s do this thing.”

Adam had no qualms about fighting a girl, so they charged at each other without hesitation. He thought she’d be as easy to take down as her teammates but when they collided, she merely used her staff as a shield against his attack. They paced across the open space as they exchanged blows, the girl using her staff offensively and defensively interchangeably. As she flipped neatly out of the way of one of his advances, he began to see how evenly matched they were.

“You are stalling,” he realized. “If you just hand over your friend, we would not have to fight.”

The girl paused, flicking some of her hair out of her eyes. “Oh. Well, in that case—”

She charged at him again, her staff catching on his uniform. She followed him into the air and her swift kick to his stomach sent him tumbling away from her. It was then that he realized that she could fly— just like him— and that was what had powered her initial attack. In the time it took for him to recover from the spin, a blast of golden light was sent his way. Because of his more durable skin, though, the light only felt like volts of electricity rather than something that could do actual damage. The most effective part of her power was the blast itself, which he had to fight through to get closer to her.

Now that he knew where her power came from, he made to attack her staff in order to knock it out of her hands. She seemed to sense his plan— Adam figured most people she fought went this route— and she countered this by trying to fly above him to push him towards the ground. He responded by grabbing the staff in her hands directly while she was mid-swing. The girl was tiring slightly, her breath becoming shorter as the fight went on and she was now on the defensive.

She tried to yank her staff loose from his hold but as evenly matched as they were, he was still stronger. The girl then attempted to shake him off by lighting the staff up with her power. If he hadn’t been such a strong opponent, the golden light would have burned through his hands. As it was, the little volts were barely something that he registered. While he could have easily swung the staff to send her flying off the end and into the ground, he held back the true show of his strength as she didn’t seem to be as resilient as the two blue people or the tree.

Instead, he tried once more for the diplomatic route: “you have fought valiantly for your little friend. If you surrender him to me now I will leave your village in peace.”

The girl’s eyes narrowed with fury as she continued to fight to free her weapon. “Go to hell!”

Adam sighed, having partially expected that response. “Very well. Have it your way, then.”

He smoothly jerked the staff from her grasp and carelessly tossed it to send the weapon spiraling towards the ground. He turned back towards the girl to finish her off as he had her teammates, but he paused. She seemed to hang, suspended, in the air as time appeared to freeze around her. Her eyes widened and, for the first time since he’d encountered her, a look of fear appeared on her face.

Then, she dropped like a stone.

They were very high off the ground by this point and the fall would likely kill a normal being. He wasn’t sure if she would survive, so his reflexes kicked in before he could really think about what he was doing.

By now, the shock had worn off and she fell through the air, she reached up to him as he was the only person who could help her. Adam put on a spurt of speed to try and catch her but she was falling faster than he had anticipated. The girl slammed into the ground and lay still just as he landed next to her. He told himself that saving her wasn’t his mission, and her incapacitation only made obtaining his goal easier. His mother’s orders echoed in his mind, so against his instinct he turned away from her in pursuit of the squirrel.

--

You felt a tap on your shoulder, startling you. You whirled around with your staff in a defensive position only to be met with the sight of your teammates. With a sigh, you pulled out one earbud but didn’t pause your music.

“What?” you asked shortly.

“Don’t you take that tone with me, Little Quill. I’m ya superior now,” Rocket replied, unaffected by your attitude. “I wanted you to meet golden boy here.”

You gave Adam a once-over, ignoring how the sight of his. . . attractive features made your stomach curl pleasantly. “Yeah. We’ve met.”

The boy in question shifted uncomfortably, feeling once again ashamed of his previous actions. Before he could say anything, Rocket spoke again, adjusting the straps of his jumpsuit as he did so: “well, I ain’t great with humie ages, but I figured ya’d be about the same. I thought it might boost team morale to see ya two hangin’ out together or whatever humies your age do.”

While your first response was to dismiss the whole endeavor— you didn’t want to get close to someone else just to have them leave you, too— but a small, traitorous part of your mind whispered: he saved your brother. Another part chimed in: he’s not bad to look at.

“Fine,” you grumbled. “He can stay, but he better not get in my way. I’m not stopping my training because of him.”

“That’s the spirit, Little Quill,” your captain said, choosing to not acknowledge your reluctance. “I’ll leave ‘im in your hands. Let’s go, Groot.”

As you shoved the earbud back in your ear, you could faintly hear Adam’s protest: “wait! You’re not leaving me here, are you?”

While Rocket’s reply was drowned out by your music, the boy’s words hit you unexpectedly; it sounded just like your response to Peter’s and Mantis’ disinclination to stay with the Guardians. Some of your anger faded as you glanced at the boy who stood awkwardly in your periphery. Despite all of his strength and power, Adam looked a bit like a lost puppy and his expression made your features soften against your will. Fine. Whatever. It wouldn’t kill you to be nice.

You took out an earbud again. “Well, don’t just stand there. I know you can fight, so let’s see you use those skills.”

At the reminder of your first encounter, he sent you a guilty look. As he stepped up next to you, he said quietly, “I’m sorry about that, by the way. For almost killing you.”

You patted him on the arm companionably. “Hey, no hard feelings. You’re not the first and you certainly won’t be the last, so just add your name to the list.”

All of the Guardians had forgiven him with surprising readiness and it seemed like you were no different— only, you were. His gaze stayed on the spot where your hand had touched him. There was a lingering warmth as if your hand was still there, the sensation sending tingles (not unlike the ones that he felt during your blasts of power) through him.

Taglist:

@repostingmyfavs , @trashpenguin

[dinogoofymutated]

NSFW!Gladiator/AFAB!reader

Tmi warning but I'm about to start my period and I've been loosing my mind over fictional men. It's like ovulating but WORSE. Mostly over Cable, but @lina-lovebug sent in an ask about gladiator from episode 6 and although I'm definitely going to write it I got distracted while doing research on him and this kinda happened!!! Speaking of which, in your ask you said you were starving for content for him so I figured I go ahead and tag you :) sorry if NSFW isn't your thing.

Anyway, Big, serious men with no humor are making me absolutely feral this week IM NAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSRE UGHHHH For those who don't remember gladiator is, He's the hot purple dude that punched the shit out of the bird lady lol

TWs: MDNI!!! Pnv sex. Name calling. Not degradation tho. Too many positions, too much stamina. Purple alien man doesn't know how to process his feelings for you™

Imagine annoying gladiator with your every being. You just can't help it. Most of the time the stoic man just ignores you outright, never smiling nor even acknowledging you, period.

To be honest, he didn't like how talkative you were. You were always running your mouth about something or other, and when you weren't, you were teasing him. Holding simple and insignificant "victories" over his head due to your origin as a mutated human terran.

On your side, you just wanted him to acknowledge you. You figured he wouldn't be able to ignore you forever. Whatever strange relationship the two of you had, the one thing that seemed to affect him the most was your mutant abilities - or specifically, the parts of your abilities that effect your stamina.

When you realized you had a stamina bar that very much rivaled gladiators own, your teasing had started to take a turn towards something a little more lustful.

You just never expected Gladiator to take you up on your offer to have a friendly little "stamina competition."

You've lost count of how many positions the two of you have gone through. Both of you are panting, sweaty- sticky. Really sticky. Who knows how much time is passed, but neither of you are willing to quit now. Gladiator currently has your knees over his shoulders, pounding into your slick cunt steadily. His hands are holding onto your hips in a tight grip, pulling you onto him each time he bottoms out.

"You are... infuriating. Annoying. Agh- Hah-... Greedy. I've pushed you to the brink, and still, you want more." Kallark says above you, his voice still surprisingly steady in between his moans of pleasure. Your own throat is sore from taunting him in between your own moans and screams of delight.

"I-fuck! I can go as long as you go, pretty boy." You say, smirking at him. Gladiator Scowls at you, face flushed, sweat beading down his forehead. You doubt you look much better, the both of you pushing each other to the farthest limits of your stamina. You let out an embarrassing shriek as Kallark leans forward, bending you in half as he presses your thighs to your chest, hitting the deepest spots inside of you. Kallark's usually steady thrusting begins to become a little more frantic as he starts to reach his umpteenth peak of the day. -but his thrusts become unsteady. Inconsistent. You're finally starting to tire him out, you think.

"Aww, look at that- ah... You're beginning to slip, Kallark." You taunt him. His hand reaches up to cup your face harshly, his grip slightly tighter than normal. He turns your head to face him as his heated gaze pierces your own.

"Would you- please, stop talking."

By the time the two of you are finally out of breath, you swear that At least an entire 24 hour period has gone by. Hell, maybe even longer. You and gladiator are sprawled out side by side. Your eyes are closed, fading in and out of consciousness as you try (and fail) to collect yourself. You feel weight shift next to you as Kallark rolls onto his side. He's full on against you now, a hand settling on your chest to feel the quick beats of your human heart. It's strange. Not like him. You open your eyes, finding yourself lost in the sight of Kallark. He's looking at you with a mix of fond emotions, and for the first time, it's almost like his brain has stalled. Like a computer stuck in between the loading screen.

"Kallark?” You whisper. He doesn't respond. Doesn't even blink.

“You okay there, big guy?" You try again, biting your lip. Kallark's gaze catches the motion, then trailing down to the bruises he's left in your neck- “hickeys” is what he remembers you calling them. He can feel his heart do something strange, and he chooses to look back up at your face instead. Your flushed cheeks. Kiss-swollen lips. Messy hair. He feels a familiar heat as his body reacts to such a lustful sight.

"Vixen. Temptress. I know not what you've done to me. " Kallark finally says, thumb gently pulling your bottom lip away from the pinch of your teeth. You raise an eyebrow at him, not mockingly, just confused. He then reaches up to brush the hair from your face, an action fueled by a much more gentle warmth in his chest.

"...I don't believe you know what you've done, either." He whispers. You can't help but smile at him, especially as you reach up to caress his cheek and he leans into the contact with a sigh.

"Well… we have plenty of time to figure that out together."

[tojisun]

https://www.tumblr.com/tojisun/739286806700376064/as-a-strange-little-dude-who-collects-bones-im or hear me out…Soap with a little true crime/ conspiracy theory gf! He’d totally get behind the deep dives trying to find the truth!

AHHHHHH YEA I SEE IT I SEE THE VISION!!

shes a goth girl into true crimes/conspiracies!! (esp after how he and bimbo!reader have this conspiracy talk sesh happening?? he’s definitely falling for a true crime/conspiracy theory gf!!)

giggling imagining johnny and his gf (you) hiding from each other their… interest (borderline obsession tbh) because they’re both afraid of being judged. so you know, they’d watch these movies that kinda deal with conspiracies or the main character is being targeted by a serial killer and they’re vibrating on their seats, both holding back from exploding in jittered excitement because they wanna be the chill partner, ykyk?

well, one day, johnny forgot to wheel away his whiteboard of conspiracies (currently, he’s trying to prove that pigeons are govt spies) and you come home to see this board with detailed analyses and accounts; dates are underlined with a red marker, while a blue marker was used to write the names of people who have been “silenced” after “exposing” the “truth” about pigeons. it’s lacking a red string that connects one case to another, but that’s only because johnny was using washytape — the designs are, ironically, birds.

johnny’s in the kitchen, preparing dinner, when he remembers what he forgot; he skids to the living room, hoping to salvage a piece of his dignity, only to see you standing in front of the board, your mouth agape.

“i can explain,” he starts, cringing to himself at hearing just how more suspicious that sounded. “i-”

“oh my god, jock,” you say, breathless in your own excitement. “oh. my. god. jock!”

“what?” johnny asks, confusion now triumphing over his mortification because if you’re still using his nickname, then that must mean things are okay, right?

“wait here!” you scream before turning to run to your room. you flung your bag to the carpet where it sags like a sad potato sack. johnny picks it up and hides it in the closet.

he waits like promised, fiddling with his thumbs while shooting looks between where you’ve ran off to and the board. he rereads some anecdotes, his mind running on overdrive, before snapping his head up at hearing the sound of your feet padding back towards him.

you have about three leather-bound notebooks clutched in your embrace, two of which look worn, while the other it still quite crisp. his nose wrinkles in confusion but johnny decides to wait it out, trusting you to take over.

you fall to the carpet, crowding the coffee table, before urging him to sit beside you. johnny does, his legs knocking against each other as he crouches down and shuffles to move closer to you. he watches as you lay out your notebooks, hands gentle as you begin to flip through the pages.

johnny still feels so lost as to what’s going on.

“mo luaidh?” he asks.

you hum in question, still focused on finding a specific page, he guesses.

“what’re you lookin’ for?”

“oh, just- ah! here!” then you’re thrusting your notebook to him.

johnny takes it with care, his eyes flitting through the pages — “to what end is it satirical? what if, amidst the jokes, the government began to use it in actuality? what if they began to capitalize on it? what if we had given them an excuse to hide behind? had we served them a cover on a silver platter? how do we trust that they’re not conniving enough to truly take advantage of this? ‘birds aren’t real’ but to what extent?”

“what-” johnny’s voice peters. “holy shit?”

he whirls to look up at you. “is this-”

“yes!” you say, giggling. “i thought it was just me!”

johnny drops your notebook back on the table to pluck you from where you sat and plop you on his lap. you laugh when he begins to pepper kisses across your face, exaggerated smooching-noises ringing between you two.

(his office gains another whiteboard.)

—

i went fuckin bonkers again aeojdajef forgive me!!!

ikik the pigeon conspiracy is mostly a parody atp but its just. funny hehaeejr

[thebad-lydrawn-sanses]

May... may we get info on the super au? 👉👈

"Monsters", in local dialect, can refer to any being that wields magic and/or is made of magic

SOULs are a culmination of magic, not self

tw/cw (trigger warnings/content warnings)

long post

medical system neglect/trauma

eating disorder (kind of)

food difficulties

knives

violence/murder/death (all implied/mentioned)

body horror, sort of

Killer

first to join the gang

hand arthritis because you're not allowed to enjoy your remaining arm (but you get an arthritis glove so)

mask

transhumeral (above elbow)

knee disarticulation

only character who gets a prosthetic

weird soul shape is the power

very stable

very unstable

Cross

second to join the gang

hood

mask

hasn't lost any limbs (yet)

knife summoning

"scarf"

saw Dream ACCIDENTALLY crush a metal beam with one hand and now screams at the top of his lungs anytime Dream gets close to grabbing him

Dust

third to join the gang

motorcycle-esc helmet

and they were roommates

literally

the economy is in shambles

Doctor: well actually we can't give you prosthetics unless we do a procedure to ensure you're actually missing your arms

Dust: ...but i was born without arms

Doctor: the procedure costs over a thousand dollars and i don't have the authority to diagnose you if you don't do the procedure

Dust: what

Doctor: im sorry

when the medical system is useless you have to improvise

bad for teeth probably

adjustable length grabber tool

whoopee cushion probably

villain outfit

scarf

ankle length

got blue to cut off the arms of a morphsuit and sew the holes up

GASTER BLASTER

Random Civilian: WTF

glowy eye

has a lot of magic to burn

Horror

fourth to join the gang

villain outfit fits him when he grows to a specific height

hasn't lost any limbs

motorcycle-esc helmet

least scared of Dream (because he can run away fast enough)

sharp teefers

Dream

was originally meant to be a manipulative government-working hero who's fake personality reflected canon Dream's while the real personality reflected canon Nightmare's

psychologically broken from spending 500 years in a statue

the constant hunger pains don't help

huge lidless eyes and permasmile tend to disconcert people (uncanny valley)

head is always slightly tilted to alleviate neck pain (making it worse in the long run)

little-no fine motor control

anything in his hands will be held with every ounce of strength he has (which is a lot)

Swap

was sweet and relatively innocent when he started working as a hero (and was a bit squeamish about even hitting villains a bit too hard)

naturally black hair, dyes it constantly to match outfit

prone to trembling violently when angry

blurred for violence

Karen: <- interrupting Blue while he's trying to do his job

originally tried to replace screams with laughter to trick his brain into not panicking during high-stress moments and now ends up laughing hysterically when startled/scared

Villain 42: boo

Past Blue: hahaa! you missed!

Villain 42: boo

Current Blue: AHAHAHA

Villain 42: hey man wtf

Current Blue: i don't know why i did that

Villain 42: it's ok

sledgehammer

mental stability is stretched thin from constantly supervising a murderous human-eating being with the psychological state of a severely traumatised child and a paint-eating psychopath with severe memory issues

Ink

travels the aus where he's human and technically doesn't actually belong to the super au

dislikes water (makes him start dissolving)

likes this au because he doesn't have to hide his supernatural abilities

Ink: wh.. where are my vials

keeps mixing up the definitions of hero and vigilante because it's different from au to au

supposed to have a tragic backstory but he's always forgetting it

legally diagnosed with traumatic brain injury and ASPD despite never taking the tests

[leclerced]

landoscar x reader with endometriosis

she wakes up crhing with cramps so bad she can’t breathe or move and they immediately wake up because they can feel her whining and trying to get comfortable (moving is only making it worse) and they start freaking out and she feels like she is gonna scream and they just wanna help and take care of her so lando holds her and let’s her scream if she needs to and rests a hand right on that little spot above her uterus like a heating pad and oscar goes to get her medicine and food and a real heating pad (he is genuinely surprised their flat doesn’t have one considering 2 of them are professional athletes and 1 is a woman)

(if you could answer this asap because im currently frozen in bed with endo cramps and i had to call my mom so she can come to my place and get medicine out of my cabinets since i can’t walk)

-🪼🪼🪼

jelly baby im so sorry )): wish i could come to ur aide my dear

lando would give the best tummy rubs and be so gentle. he’s definitely the warm bf so his hands feel amazing and he’d probably talk to distract her, or pepper kisses all over her face and tell her he’s sorry she’s in pain. she’d muffle the screams into his chest and he wants to cry bc no one should ever be in that much pain, much less his darling girl. very relieved when oscar finally gets back and is like, “oh thank god you’re back. what took so long ??? give me the things now.” and they’re rushing to unpack a heating pad and give her meds and water to take them with.

oscar would def pour beans or rice into a sock and microwave it so she has something to help while he runs to the store!! it’s a trick he learned from his mom growing up. he buys like six heating pads because they have so many different ones in different sizes, and they’ll get used so he doesn’t feel bad about overconsumption. gets so so many snacks in case she has any cravings and lots of hydrating drinks. gets a few pairs of fluffy socks and a new fluffy throw. buys like four different pain meds bc he doesn’t know which is the strongest and goes down the bath aisle and buys bath bombs and epsom salts because a hot bath might help too, if they’re able to get her to the bathroom without causing her too much pain.

[vee-beeee]

gamer droids

HELLO

im literally SO SORRY i have not been posting that much, ive been playing an unbelievable amount of splatoon and doing school LOL

BUT IM BACK

and playing games gave me an idea so here it is

Enjoy!

Connor, Nines, and Sixty x (Fem)reader

warnings: FLUFFYYY, domestic, being cute and stuff, crack, not too long just a little slice

Premise: you play animal crossing with the boys watching you and its CUTE

╰┈➤---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a super long day.

And you just wanted to go home.

And play animal crossing on your old switch.

You were sitting in the car, leg jumping up and down, staring out the front window watching cars whiz by. Nines was driving, Sixty and Connor quietly talking in the back about a case they had. Icy blue eyes glanced at you, and quickly saw your jittery demeaner. The android leaned in his chair a bit, LED flashing a quick yellow before he reached out to gently place a large hand on your moving leg. You immediately stopped bouncing and looked at Nines, who peeled his eyes off the road to give you a slight smile.

You returned it.

The rest drive went on, and you all got home safely. Connor (of course) got out of the car to open your door for you, and Sixty chuckled as he watched, calling Connor a try hard. To which Connor gave him the dirtiest look he could muster in response, and pushed past him while taking hold of your hand to lead you to the house.

"Finally!" you sighed out as soon as the door to your apartment was opened, and you ran and fell face first into your guys' shared couch, letting your legs plank straight off the side.

Nines brushed past you, not before patting your legs, and headed to the bedroom, while you made fake snoring sounds into the couch. You felt someone come up to you and suddenly

SIT on top of you

You screamed and laughed into the couch, attempting to lightly punch the figure who sat on you, (and failing too because of the awkward angle your arms were at) and the heavy weight started giggling to himself. Luckily, the mystery man leaned in such a way that you still got air through the cushions. You appreciated it, but he was still hefty.

"Oh Sixty, you'll suffocate the poor girl." Nines voice was muffled from how far your face was shoved into the couch, and before you could register anything the figure (now known to be Sixty) was roughly shoved off of you. You rolled onto the floor, dramatically sucking in loads of air while Nines and Connor's faces smiled from above.

"You're not dying I hope?" Connor asked and leaned down to help you sit up, and you leaned an itsy bit forward to kiss his cheek. He smiled softly at you, and you started to return it, before seeing a blurry figure on the floor behind him.

You put your head on his shoulder to see Sixty in the family guy death pose and you burst into laughter, hugging Connor while the poor android asked you what was funny, and you definitely saw Sixty's frame shaking with giggles.

After that little show, you got dressed in some comfy clothes in your room, hearing the androids chastise Sixty for almost killing you (sorta). You just rolled your eyes, laughing slightly, before your gaze fell on a little item by your bed stand.

You beamed and headed to your switch, picking the game system up before turning around to head back to the living room. Just as you entered the hallway, you froze up.

Had you ever showed your boys your old animal crossing island?

You saw Nines head turn and pause to look questioningly at your still body, but you were already running forward to stand in front of the lot, who were currently standing in the middle of the living room. They instantly quieted when they saw your excited expression, and you were met by 3 confused faces.

"Have I ever shown you guys my animal crossing island?" you breathed out, rocking from one foot to the other and biting your lip, awaiting their answer.

"That looks old" Sixty tilted his head towards your switch, LED flashing yellow, aaaaand you took that for a no.

(A couple minutes of getting settled in and loading screens later)

You were able to connect the switch to the TV, all thanks to the boys. It was handy having boyfriends that could literally look up something in their heads and then instantly know how to do it. They connected your switch to the big screen, and you got out your old controller.

This was going to be fun.

"Okay so this is my house, and that's my little character" you pointed in the general area of the screen, before twirling your little girl on the TV in a circle to show off her outfit.

Connor made a small hum, while Nines complimented you "She's very.. adorable. Looks like a miniature you." You turned and beamed his way, looking at him from behind Sixty's head. His lips twitched in a sorta smile but his eyes were full of adoration, and you refocused your attention on the screen.

Before you could say anything more, a villigar walked on screen and started watering the flowers in front of your house.

"Oh that's Goldie, she's my little dog villager." Nines chuckled while Conner noted how cute she was watering your flowers for you.

"What to you do in this game?" Sixty asked, never taking his eyes off the screen, seemingly scanning every part of it.

"You take care of villagers, decorate your island, buy and sell stuff, there's a stock market-" you started counting things down off your fingers, and Sixty's quiet laughter interrupted you "There's a stock market?" you turned to him and nodded your head, explaining the turnips while he looked amused at how serious you got.

The rest of the day was spent with you playing animal crossing, showing the boys absolutely everything, and the boys being totally enamored by it.

Nines was focused on your decorating skills, complimenting your style and how you accessorized different houses and your island. Connor loved your villagers, and found all your dog ones the cutest. Sixty just enjoyed watching you more than the game itself, and how excited you were about your little animal game.

Eventually the boys wanted to try, and they each created a character for themselves and choose to place their houses next to yours. You giggled as they argued which plot of land they would get, and you just laid back to watch.

You leaned your head on Connors chest, and he wrapped an arm around you while continuing to argue with Sixty on where he would put his house.

Totally relaxing.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading!!

I feeeeeeel like this is a little out of character at some parts but im tryingggg LOL

I know its like, super in the future but lets pretend switches are still compatible with TV's and also still exist

Sorry for any errors in spelling!

[canonically47]

"hey geo did you see the-" YES I DID SEE THE NEW DCAS TRAILER AND YES I WILL TALK ABOUT IT THANK YOU SO MUCH RANDOM ASKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys i am soooooooo normal about seeing james fiore and ellie again i feel so normal guys i am not gnawing at the bars of my enclosure at all i feel normal and not unnormal at all SO NORMALLLLLLLLLL

MY FUCKING. FAVS. (granted lake is just ok in my books but STILL HER!!!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!) LOOK AT THEM. LOOK AT MY EVIL LITTLE SISTER. LOOK AT MY EVIL WIFE. LOOK AT THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALEC AND FIORE ARE WORKING TOGETHER I AM CRYING SOBBING THROWING UP LOOK AT THEMEMEMMEMEMEMEME

shut the FUCK up about jake OKAY YKNOW WHAT im tired of making it about jake. LOOK at miriam and tom catching up (and obviously talking about that twink) LOOOOOOK AT THEMMMM

also!!!! WHA

me when connor finally puts riya in her place (i've been waiting on this since episode one)

james and yul reunion was NOT on my bingo card but oh my god james should just do that poison thing all over again i cannot wait

hey guys not to make this about jake but LOOK AT HIM HE'S SCREAMING YAY jake dies this episode guys real not clickbait /j

anyways my theories are:

krystal threatens to kick out the current contestants if they don't help their respective pair, which makes sense when you get yul and james who should hate each other from what i remember

yul at some point messes someone up (hence "LOSER" in the beginning of the video) - possibly jake & ashley since "ARE YOU OKAY JAKE" and "you bitch" are played besides yul's clip, but that could mean anything that's just my idea

guys i don't think fiore is gonna make it. i am fiore truthing so hard but she looks pissed off at connor and i think he's going to mess it up for her oh my god connor when i catch you connor

none of the finalists make it because duh. miriam, ellie and... sobbing loudly... james......... probably do not come back

...and neither does ashley because she was JUST kicked out and jake fucking sucks from what we can see and they're definitely partnered up because nobody else would stand jake

my money is on lake and if anybody else but her or fiore (or my favs: ellie, miriam, james) comes back then this whole show is rigged and i will never watch it ever again (watch fucking HUNTER or something win i would THROW HANDS)

yknow what scratch that. itd be hilarious if connor of all people won and he just came back and fucked riya over and proceeded to make it to finale. please don't let that happen but it would be funny i think..

anyways rare geo is excited for DCAS moment i am so ready for june 6th :3 :3 :3

oh yeah and derek is alive!! they remembered he exists!!!! wow!!!!!!!!! he looks much happier to see trevor than usually so maybe this or episode 12 is when the confession happens. would love to finally see it and i hope they dont mess them up!!

[otakubimbo]

DOUBLE DATE

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x f!Reader

Warnings: MDNI, Smut, Exhibitionism, Fingering, Profanity, Established Relationship, Not a single OUNCE of fluff DID NOT PROOFREAD & may have been a bit tipsy

summary: Nanami invites you and your bf Gojo out on a double date to meet his girlfriend. Everything should go fine, right?

Day 1: Exhibitionism

GOJO NSFW WEEK 2K23

A/N: this is mild&late but i couldn't get into my account on my computer yesterday :/ but it was uploaded to ao3 yesterday so techinically im still on time

There was no way that Nanami or his date couldn’t tell that Gojo was finger fucking you under the table. You knew it was going to be a bad idea to go on this double date, an even worse idea when your lovely boyfriend Gojo set out a dress for you to wear for the night. A dress that left little to nothing to the imagination. The dress fit like it was made for you and knowing Gojo it probably was. Your measurements had been burned into his brain from his own hands on your body.

So now here you were, in a dress that barley passed your cunt getting finger fucked in a restraunt. This wasn’t the first time he’s pulled this shit either, but he is impressed by your current restraint. If he couldn’t feel for himself how your tight cunt was pulsating around his fingers, he wouldn’t have even known you were about to cum. Your face and body language were cool, calm, and collected but internally you were screaming. Screams of definite pleasure.

“So, how long have you all known each other?” The, from what you can tell so far, lovely woman Nanami wanted you to meet asked. You couldn’t really remember much about anything she’s said though because immediately when y’all sat down Gojos hand went straight up your dress.

You were doing your damn hardest thought to focus on her words and not sweat out your edges. It took forever for you to slick down your edges into this cute low puff you had going on. You were not going to let Satoru and his fingers ruin it, at least not yet.

“In high school” Your reply was cut short by a quick pinch that was placed on your clit, which you cry to cough your way through. You chug the rest of your wine pretending to clear your throat. A low chuckle comes from Gojo, and you step on his foot. “Sorry, I had a bit of a tickle in my throat. If you’ll excuse me right quick.” You politely excused yourself, knowing that you’re definitely leaving a trail of arousal behind you, but you couldn’t take it any longer.

When you’re finally in the bathroom, you can let yourself go for a second.

“fuck fuck fuck fuck” your breathes came out ragged.

Your panties were soaked, and you were leaking everywhere. Luckily, you had wipes in your purse. Always prepared. You calm your core down with some steady breathing and the lack of stimulation. After you’ve cleaned yourself, you get ready to leave but the door swings back towards you. Blocking your entrance is the villain himself, Satoru. He looks between your legs and sees that they are dry and pouts.

“Why would you clean up your mess when that’s my job” He stalks towards you, grabbing you by the back of your legs sitting you on the sink. There was not ever point of resisting him.

“Satoru” You plead knowing what’s going to happen next. “Nanami and his date are waiting. I’m sure.”

He moves himself to settle right between your legs, mouth licking your ear.

“I’ll be quick, I promise. You’ve almost gotten me there anyways.” He presses his bulge right against your core. You wanted him, badly.

“What if someone comes in” You gasp as his mouth makes his way along your neck.

“They won’t. Infinity up.” He says into your shoulder as he nips and sucks.

“Fuck. Fine” You relent. Before you can register his pants are dropped and he’s preparing to enter you.

“Just make sure you cum” He smirks at you before thrusting in, which brings an unholy sound from you.

“Fuck ‘Toru” you grasp at his back as he pounds roughly into you. His tip kisses your most sensitive parts.

“You knew I picked that dress out for a reason.” He grunts inside of you. “And you wore it knowing I was going to fuck you in this restaurant.”

You can’t help but clench around him because of course he was right. You moan his name loudly; he was hitting all the right spots. The build up in your core was about to explode but you knew he wasn’t even close, and you wanted him to cum with you.

“You really are the honored one, baby. The way you’re going to make me cum” You moan into his ear and the noise he makes in response is feral. He runts into you faster and harder, spurred on by your praise.

“Fuck, yeah, I am. And I alone will fill you up.” His hand is at your throat as he says this, pained expression on his face which you know means he’s going to cum. That makes you cum almost as his words finish. Your back arches and your cunt suck him in even more than what should be possible. The erotic noises coming from your mouth, doubled with the way your cunt was milking him had him spilling into you soon after your own release.

You’re both breathing entirely too hard as he slowly slides out of you. His dick still connected to you as he exists by your combined juices.

“And now we can go finish dinner.” He smirks at you as he puts his wet dick back into his pants. Leaving you with just a kiss on the forehead, still on the sink exiting the bathroom. You go about cleaning yourself up, again, as you prepare to go back to the table. Fixing yourself up in the mirror before you leave but as you go to open the door again another disturbance, Nanamis date. The expression she held made you think she may have heard you and Gojos encounter.

“Oh uhm, my bad excuse me” You blush trying to move out of her way.

“Actually, I was coming to make sure you were okay because Gojo took so long to come back with” She said avoiding eye contact with you. That bastard.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. Just heading back now.” You knew even with your darker complexion there was no way you weren’t red. You move past her to exit the bathroom.

“I can just hope Nanami is only half as good.” She whispered behind you, which just made you squeeze your eyes closed in embarrassment. Because yes, his infinity was up but that didn’t make it soundproof.

“But don’t worry, I won’t tell. Your secret rendezvous is safe with me. “ She nudges you in a friendly manner.

“Thanks” is all you could get out because what a first impression on your double date.

[desceros]

SAM. SAM. SAM.

okay, let me be calm. woo-sah. ahem. i don't cry a lot. it's less a factor of "tch, i'm a rough and tough guy, emotions are for losers" and more the fact that i... just don't really cry too much anymore, and i'm not too sure why. in any case, the only things that really get to me nowadays are certain movies, TV shows, and highly stressful situations. i can count on one hand the amount of times something i've read has gotten me to tear up

...and now, the latest chapter has been added to that list. it wasn't even anything sad, not exactly. just... Viola-Chan's talk with Todd and Mikey. as someone who semi-recently went through a break-up (a bit over a year ago; we'd been dating for 5 years), while it was not at all the same situation, iiiiit definitely still stabbed me right through the chest a little too close to my heart. like, the whole thing with Donnie and Vi has been extra "oof, ouch, owie" for me for a while because of that, but now, it's just been emphasized - but i LOVE IT, don't get me wrong! it hurts in a good way! i need a Todd in my life, honestly

and Mikey, omfg - i literally dropped my phone to punch the air with joy when he hugged Vi, i was SO happy for her (us?). all the family talk... good god. she (we) deserve(s) every piece of goodness the world has to offer

now. about that ending. completely blindsided me. blew me onto my ass. tore me asunder. i really... REALLY did NOT see that coming. like, at ALL. i knewwwww Alopex was gonna come back, we all knew it, but i had an entirely different theory that i am now shoving right back down my throat. Vi can never go for too long without suffering, can she? you are a sick and twisted person (and i love it)

side note: fuck yeah, new Stardew update! i'm gonna play it with a couple of my friends tomorrow since they're all busy today, and i'm sooooo excited about everything i'm hearing so far. hope you have fun too! :D

sounds like you had a nice catharsis, which is exactly the mood for this chapter! and yeah, we all need a todd and a mikey. i feel like that lemonade would fix me. and yeah, viola-chan's always got something going on. that's what makes a fic fun! :D

im having a lot of fun on turtle time farm, hehehe. i started with the new farm layout where you get two chickens in the beginning, and i named them donnie and leo. there is currently an intense battle to see who gives me the most gold star large eggs. im screaming

[aestheticburnedbacon]

Could you write a Camilo x male reader fanfiction preferably fluff where y/n is a friend of mirabel who is the same age as Camilo and is described to be really warm and sweet with blue eyes and pink hair and the story follows their relation ship

Girl yes!! Thank you for being one of my early requests like you do you queen/king/thing!! Also y/n is a bit shy in this🥰

TW: Male reader, encanto

"Hey y/n would you like to come to mi casa this afternoon, mi familia's cooking empanadas and they really want to meet you anyway!" Mirabel asked. Currently y/n and mirabel were walking to y/n's house after shopping at the plaza. "I don't know, im lowkey a bit nervous to meet your familia... I mean they all have powers so wouldn't I stand out?.." Y/n asked, he was an outgoing person sure, but anyone would be nervous to meet the madrigal family. Especially considering they are the only thing keeping this town together. "Girl i've lived there my whole life without powers and the only thing that's ever happened to me is being shit talked in front of my own eyes by my abuela, im sure you'll be ok." Mirabel said, without a trace of depression. "Um, ok sure if you really want me to..." Y/n said, getting ready to meet the madrigals.

Later on at the casa:

Y/n straightened his back (unlike his sexuality) and knocked on la casa's door. He was then greeted by not mirabel, but her older sister Isabella. "Omg hola, you must be mirabel's quirky little friend y/n?" Isabella asked. Y/n tried to keep his confidence up, he was talking to the girl that could make her own plants, if he messed up he would kill himself on the spot. "Y-yes! It's a pleasure to meet you Isabella!" Y/n said, cringing at his stuttering. "No need to be nervous! Our familia is so excited to meet you!" Isabella said, signaling him to come inside. "T-that's nice to hear..." Was all y/n could splurt out before dashing inside.

Y/n tried to look around for his friend Mirabel, but all he could see was the madrigal family smiling, waving and talking to him. He couldn't handle all the attention so he politely asked if there was a baño nearby. Julieta, Mirabel's mother, pointed him to down the hallway. So he awkwardly excused himself to the baño.

He was on his way when he noticed someone coming down the stairs. It was mirabel! Finally. Y/n smiled and called out for her, in which she waved back. But what y/n didn't know is that he was NOT looking in front of him. He was about to run into a wall, but thankfully casa came in clutch and pushed him backwards with tiles. It was a bit too hard though, because he ended up crashing into someone who was trying to talk to him behind him. He fell into the arms of none other than Camilo Madrigal. His hands were on y/n's waist as y/n sat in his lap, both of them in an awkward position on the floor. "O-oh my gosh i am so so so so sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going and!-" Y/n was cut off with a cute chuckle coming from Camilo. "Woah woah relax mi amigo! It's all good, calm down!" Camilo said patting y/n's shoulder. "Are you y/n? Mirabel's friend?" Camilo asked as y/n nodded silently. Y/n turned around to see his face and immediately blushed from how close they were to each others lips. Camilo and y/n stopped talking and stared into each others eyes. But before they could do anything else, they were cut off by Mirabel screaming.

"Y/N?!?!? CAMILO??! WHAT ARE YOU BOYS DOING???" Mirabel was definitely not expecting this. "I-its not what it looks like! I bumped into him by accident and we got into this awkward position!" Y/n said getting up, Camilo getting up too. "Well whatever your excuse is, just hurry up and let's go to the table!" Mirabel said dragging y/n to the dining room, leaving camilo awkwardly waving at y/n goodbye as they both blushed.

Everyone sat at the dinner table and y/n noticed camilo taking the seat opposite him, where they both awkwardly blushed and smiled at each other. Mirabel noticed this, and flung her napkin to y/n's face to get him back on track. "So y/n, what do you think of our casa? It's pretty cool isn't it?" Luisa asked, trying to start a conversation. "Yes it's very beautiful, but it's also way bigger on the inside than i expected!" Y/n responded, taking a bite into his empanada. It was delicious. "Oh my Ms. Julieta, this food is amazing!" Y/n said, biting viciously into his food. "Gracias Y/n, all the best for Mirabel's friend!" She said, happy that y/n was enjoying her food. Abuela then spoke up. "So Y/n, is there something going on between you and mirabel?" Abuela asked, making Mirabel, Y/n and Camilo spit their food out. "Ay watch it! I just cleaned the table cloth!" Pepa yelled, smacking Camilo across the back of his head as he wiped his mouth. "N-no abuela! Not at all! Y/n's just a friend! In fact he's ga-" Y/n stomped on Mirabel's foot before she could continue, making Mirabel yelp in pain. Y/n didn't need the madrigals knowing he was a fruitpop, especially Camilo. He didn't know why, but Y/n just couldn't let Camilo find out. Camilo probably took the hint though, as he stared at y/n confused. Before anyone could talk, y/n got a call from his backpack, which casita threw over to him so he could answer. "Who is it?" Mirabel whispered as everyone slowly started talking to each other. "It's my mum, give me a second." Y/n said answering the phone. After a few minutes he hung up with a sad expression.

"Sorry everyone, but my mother needs help at home, so i will unfortunately be leaving early. Thank you for having me!" Y/n said getting up and leaving as everyone waved goodbye. As he was about to leave, someone grabbed his hand. Camilo, who was blushing. "H-hey um.. I know we didn't talk much this evening but.. if you ever wanna hang out around the casa without my loser of a cousin mirabel, i could always show you around. Even a personal secret tour of my room!" Camilo said proudly, making y/n smile to himself on how cute Camilo was trying to impress people. "Of course Camilo! Until then." Y/n said waving him goodbye. Unlike last time, Y/n wasn't so nervous about going to the casa anymore.

[electricbluebutterflies]

building a new piece of furniture from a flat pack together - for kabby omg the possibilities Im a scream

Modern AU, PG-ish, also on ao3.

On the bright side, they did not get banned from Ikea. Marcus is taking what he can get here.

He’s still figuring out this whole domesticity thing, especially the part where it came with a future step-daughter who actually does know how to ask for help on occasion (definitely a recessive genetic trait) and who, for some bizarre reason, has decided the right time to do that involves assembling a dining room set.

Which means, for some other unexplained reason because the women of that family don’t actually communicate, Marcus is currently trying to read instructions that seem to have come in every language but English while his fiancé makes judgmental comments about her twenty-year-old daughter’s taste in décor and said daughter is off attempting to get food or possibly seeing one of her partners, honestly that part wasn’t exactly clear and it’s generally better not to know and-

He's done worse things with a Saturday afternoon, but it’s getting hard to remember them.

The thing is, Marcus isn’t exactly the build-it-yourself type. Home repairs are, in his experience, something you pay other people to do if it’s anything that can’t be duct-taped. However, his attempts at explaining this tendency to both of the women currently taking advantage of him went unheard and-

“Do you want help?”

“Depends. You know a bit of Spanish, right?”

“Mostly what I hear at work, so not in the useful way, but… lemme look.”

With that, Abby grabs the set of instructions from his hands and-

“There are pictures, dumbass. How hard is that?”

“There are also three different sizes of screws.”

“Do you want me to do it?”

“Yes.”

He’s supposed to be proving himself. He’s supposed to be making clear that he’ll be a good addition to the family, not causing more problems, not-

“You weren’t kidding,” she murmurs, and okay there are actually four different packs of screws and-

“Your kid seemed so convinced, I couldn’t exactly tell her no.”

“My kid had an engineer as a primary parent until she was sixteen,” Abby mutters. “She’s going to have an adjustment period here.”

Ah yes, what every person trying to enter an established family dynamic wants is to be reminded of where they don’t match up to the deceased person they’re basically replacing, but-

“So we’re not telling her that you did most of it?”

“Not until or unless something breaks.”

“That likely?”

“Unlike you, I do at least know how to use a power drill, so…”

Marcus isn’t sure about this on an ethical level, and those chairs didn’t seem stable when Clarke picked them out either, but-

“Sounds fine.”

[nerves-nebula]

Wow yeah you sound autistic to me. Like, all that missing there is ✨the hell that is sensory issues ✨ (but I think u mentioned that PRIOR?)

,,,, on that topic I'm truama dumping in ur inbox again cuz it's cathartic.

I will never forget when my mom started trying to get me diagnosed and I had to hear my dad yell and scream and throw tantrums like a literal toddler that "MY KID IS NOT A FUCKING RETARD!!!" Definitely did great things for my selfesteem/sarcastic <currently diagnosed autistic and ADHD and rumoured bpd based off medication interactions. And maybe DID but I'm ignoring this bitchs in my head <3

I DO HAVE A LOTTA SENSORY ISSUES HAHA. and emotional shutdowns! its always hard to tell which is a PTSD thing and which is a neurodivergence thing as far as me being jumpy/twitchy around loud noises goes, but i don't think PTSD makes the sound of brooms sweeping concrete make me wanna collapse into a ball.

if I leave my house without earbuds I'll fucking explode and die. the sounds there are BAD and I'll get BORED and antsy and twitchy without my own controlled noises.

I know i have hyperfixations cause I've had a few really BAD ones that ended up hurting me. Like, senior year of high school I was so obsessed with the joker and batman that I hurt my hands scrolling comics/tumblr for art about them for HOURS. and i could NOT STOP. and i was supposed to be making PAINTINGS for COLLEGE APPLICATIONS so my hands really shouldn't have been getting FUCKEd at that time.

im not sure if im in a hyperfixation about the turtles rn or like, a healthy interest. I think it's petered out to a healthy interest but i am almost constantly thinking about them hah. maybe ive just gotten better at controlling myself so i dont hurt myself while fixating tho.

AS for your trauma: THAT sUCKS ASS. me and my siblings have ruminated and joked about being autistic for years, but our parents would NEVER get us tested. My mom basically said my grades were too good so why would i need to get tested for adhd/autism. and my dad is Nigerian so good luck trying to talk to him about mental health stuff !!

i tried to bring up my obvious sensory and emotional issues to my mom and she was like "you're not autistic you're just sensitive" and left me standing there like "but.. being sensitive the ways i am are literally perfectly in line with autism.."

sidenote: i'm so much happier now that I let myself stim whenever i feel like it. i stim sooo much these days and it's FANTASTIC, I never knew how much I was hurting myself by not letting myself do it.

tell the bitches in ur head that ur ignoring i said hi :D !