#which i'm still lolling over him putting out full logs of the ones she's cropped

[skegulium]

commenting on twitter drama on tumblr, but i gotta say -

people really need to start separating out personal grievances from actually predatory/toxic behavior, because it's fascinating watching people try to drag out 'oh this dude was busy and not crazy enthusiastic about being on our podcast' as something to tack on to other drama to say that he's just as bad as this stalker said he is. insane. absolutely stupid insanity!

and i see this a lot in just... a lot of situations, even if it's not weird callout posts but in small friend groups, the scenario of 'this person was weird/made a bad impression once, so therefore they're a bad person overall' is all too common. like i've got people i don't want to interact with because of their shit ass impressions, not because they did anything actually cancellable, but because they were such insurmountable dickwads that i never want to see them or their associates. i can name like 5 of them right now.

but to try to use it as a base to cancel someone?? mannn. get something more substantive. everyone's a dick sometimes. i've been a dick. you've been a dick. someone has a shit perception of who we are as people and will never want to interact with us again, and that's fine. none of that is as bad as being a sex pest, or a pedo, or a nazi or a terf. if you're going to make grandiose statements about a dude, at least make it worth our time.