#which i'm actually proud of and was super healing to write?

[ghost-proofbaby]

i say this as i proceed to finish editing something i wrote for pride month lol

hi just wanted to take a moment and say sorry i haven't been posting a ton of my writing this month. i took it off (writing wise) for my mental health and due to not feeling entirely comfortable on here right now. i solemnly swear come july i'll be back, and hopefully worse better than ever. <3

[theavianlady]

...tw? Tw.

TW: Gore, Blood, Injury, uh...Pain and Sadness-

@psychologicalwarclaire

Ha ha! Tis I! I was the anon!

(Cue dramatic exclamations of disbelief)

Ahem. Tis the anniversary of Spider's Web with Strings Attached, and I wanted to make something! Go and read the fic if you haven't already; it's incredible.

Lots of ramblings and other versions under the cut (if anyone wants to see any other parts with or without different lighting and stuff that I didn't include, just let me know; I'm happy to share).

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This is the first (almost) completely original thing I've drawn digitally! Poses are really hard for me, so I'm super proud of this. No tracing, only references!

...so. Many. References.

Except for the bricks, which I'm not counting, because bricks are scary. And the chains. I used a brush. Chains are scary too.

I started July 28th, and then spent almost 40 hours across various canvases planning, experimenting, and actually working on this. Not including research. It took me absolutely forever, but I regret nothing.

Except for the fact that I spent over 6 hours just shading bricks. I didn't even draw them! I took a pattern for the grooves from google and filled it with black, (rotated and edited for some variance in their cells), and then did the red lighting and some shadows you can't even really see. For 6 hours.

I tried to draw their spider brooches many times, but I could not get them to look right (especially from a side angle), so I gave up. Let's all just pretend they're there until I come back later. Eventually. Maybe. Oh, and Leo's chains. At the time of posting, I really just want to get this up and posted, so they're not shaded, but again, I might do it later.

I wanted to have this set when they're both in their separate cells, right after Viper was, uh...in the cell with Leo. So, Donnie is all stitched up and healing, while Leo is...not doing great (not certain about the timeline, because I'm paranoid about everything, so it's probably fine). But, I wanted to convey what happened to Donnie, so I drew that weird glowing spine thing to indicate some kind of mystic healing something. I don't even know.

It didn't turn out as well as I wanted it too, but I'm probably biased. Because there was so much gore on Leo's side, Donnie's looked boring. I couldn't figure out how to do the lighting. The values could be better. It could do with more time spent on the shadows. Etc, etc. I'm a perfectionist.

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Uh, in order of posting, behold!

1. Big version.

2. Big version without lighting (except on the bricks) or Japanese characters.

3. Close up of magic spine representation thing because I'm proud of it.

4. Close up of gore-covered-Leo because I'm also proud of that. I have never drawn such...messy gore before.

Fun fact, the group of layers all of that was on is called "Bad Stuff".

5. Close up of Donnie's shell stitches without the spine thing, because I worked hard on those. It was also pretty tricky, because I couldn't find any references for large stitched wounds. Only open ones. If anyone knows any good places for references like that, t'would be greatly appreciated.

Also, they don't usually stitch puncture wounds, because it could trap infection, but I feel like with something so large and deep as dragon teeth it would be necessary? So I tried to include those.

But also, would they just stitch the skin in such deep wounds? Is there still a gaping hole under the skin? Do they also stitch muscles with the dissolvable sutures or something? I'm like, going to go to med-school just so I can draw more accurate wounds and stitches and stuff.

6. Close up of Leo without the gore because he's pretty and I'm really proud of the plastron. And the right forearm armour piece. I couldn't get the other ones to look as nice, much to my dismay.

The Japanese characters write out to Omae wa hitoribocchi da, which translates to You are alone. I think. Google Translate says it's You are all alone, but translation services that I trust slightly more, like Reverso.net and ChatGPT (the most reliable of sources, I know) just say You are alone.

Omae is the equivalent of anata, for those familiar with Anata wa hitori janai. They both mean you, but omae is more...condescending, from what I can tell. Informal and rough, often used to express disdain or superiority.

Wa indicates that anata or omae are the subject of the sentence.

Hitori is present in both, meaning alone, though from what I can see, hitoribocchi is more...desolate and painful. It's a more emotional term for being alone.

Janai kind of means is not, or are not, while da is just like...closing the sentence. A firm, declarative ending particle.

I tried to paste the actual Japanese characters from different translation services (I am not fighting with using a keyboard from another language), but Tumblr wouldn't let me. Boo. So, you can all suffer with my English-Japanese. Also, don't trust anything I say. I'm learning Japanese on Duolingo, but I've only just started and it gets way more complicated. So, pretty much anything I just said could be wrong. I just did a lot of research.

If anyone does speak Japanese, and knows a better way to convey this, please tell me. I crave knowledge and accuracy.

I should get like, a personal human translator. No AI or program can truly understand a language like its people. Especially comparing Japanese and English. From what I've learned, there are a lot of words that could be translated many ways, depending on exact feel. It's complicated, and I'm scared to get farther into Duolingo's course.

===============================================================

I also just discovered yesterday that today is also the anniversary of the Rise Movie, so yay! Happy Anniversary to the movie that literally changed my life. And Curly, you're awesome. It's authors like you keeping this fandom alive, so thank you!

[angelmichelangelo]

hello!!! happy new year :D just wanted to say i really did adore the glass turtles fic (i left a long rambly comment abt it lol sorry if i'm just restating things rn) and it still sticks with me, even after a few months. i still think about it sometimes when doing mundane chores or something- it's a work that really, really resonated with me, and something i hold very dear to my heart, if that makes sense. the reason i read the fic was just because it was an 2k3 fic and i love Those Boys in particular but by the time i was a quarter way through with it i had to get up and pace around my room. it just induced a very physical, visceral reaction- in the best way possible. i think i'd never expected to see such a close representation and exploration of the childhood i had and (oversharing here, i think lmao) it was also something i pushed to the back of my mind until i read your fic. i love it's themes so much, i can't express it but fics and media in *general* struggle with the premise of this plot but you've written it wonderfully and it ended up being *my* farmhouse-retreat-therapy for a while. it also helped me look up what being a glass child meant and talk to others about it, and i dont think i would've done that without reading it. this is a bit silly, but raph and mikey are my favourite turtles and always have been, ive been obsessed with tmnt since early childhood and they're characters i hold practically in my heart- and seeing me and a person i love very very much in those turtles in this fic... aaagh. it was very comforting, as terminally online as that sounds T-TTT.

anyways!!! just saying all of this word vomit because i saw that you mentioned it was the only fic you got hate on was the glass turtles fic (which, fuck that commentor fr and kudos to the other user who replied to them) and i hope you understand how much that piece of writing is loved. so. just letting you know that one dude mightve completely misread its themes but also, that fic helped someone a thousand miles away reconcile with some of thier family.

i love all of your fics, including the brothers au! the themes and plots you deal with in glass turtles + that au is, again, done super well and are topics i'd like to write about too, especially addiction, which is shown in your main fic in a cathartically realistic way (still need to catch up and comment though. AAGH sorry!!) and all of your mikey-centric fics too, but "glass turtles" is a fic that i think i'll remember forever.

thank you for sharing your wonderful writing <3

oh wow. i don’t think i actually have big enough words to fully express how much this ask made me feel. i genuinely cannot thank you enough, from the bottom of my heart. thank you thank you thank you 💗

first of all before i start blubbering: happy new year to you, my friend! i hope 2025 is beautiful and healing and full of love in every way you need! sending so much love and good vibes your way for an amazing year ahead:)

now onto me just gushing about how much this ask made me feel HSJSHDH

glass turtles i think will always be my kind of magnum opus in a sense, not only is it a fic that im just proud of for finishing, but it’s a fic that kind of keeps giving whenever i get such amazing comments and messages such as these.

it took me seven months to get that fic done, seven months where i had a lot of time to really reflect on my own feelings and experiences and i think i can safely say (without sounding like im blowing too much smoke up my ass lol) it does show, because to know that it resonates with other people who have gone through something similar, it helps me know that what i went through does actually matter, even if that’s shown through the form as something as silly as ninja turtles fanfiction, if it’s able to bring together people who have been struggling through the same thing, then it’s absolutely worth it to me.

i didn’t actually know about the term ‘glass child’ until i started writing the fic itself. and ive seen a few people either comment or message me to say they were unaware of the term also, and that in itself is pretty incredible because if my story is able to bring some sort of awareness to people then that just really blows my mind.

it’s always so daunting to me at least, posting fanfic. you have no idea if anyone will read it or care about something you’ve poured your heart and soul into. it can be a really weird thing, but i will forever be so so grateful for all the amazing feedback i have gotten from posting it. every time i either get a comment or i see the kudos numbers tick upwards or when i get such lovely, heartwarming messages from amazing people like yourself, it just honestly fills my heart with the most joy ever. i genuinely cannot be more thankful for everyone that has been so kind.

so posting a fic with some more “out there” themes is very scary sometimes. i even really hesitated on even publishing ‘brothers’ for the longest time because i believed that nobody would want to read something so far from the canon but again! so many kind wonderful people continue to prove me wrong with my doubts!

i’m so glad that a little bit of my brain baby was able to help you in some way. that’s more than i could ever ask for when i hit post on ao3 — thank you for sharing all of this with me, it just genuinely warms my heart to a degree i didn’t think possible :’) thank you again!!

and ough the 2003 boys. i don’t remember when i picked for them to be the centre turtles for this story but i just always adored their individual and collective relationships in the show. all of the versions of turtles work well as brothers but there was just something about these particular boys that scratched my brain and just felt so right :) im glad you enjoyed that aspect too, i don’t think i would have written them with any other version in mind :)

at the risk of just repeating myself by keep saying thank you (lmao) i’ll just cap this ramble off with saying how much i appreciate you for this ask as well as your support. it is so so felt and so welcomed and this is exactly why i love writing fic and being part of such an incredible fandom.

i don’t know if glass turtles is the last of where we will see this version of the boys but until then, im happy enough knowing it’s out there in the world, helping someone that may need it like you said. all of that seriously outshines one nasty hate comment by the force of like a million suns lol

treasuring this comment forever i think 🫶 thank you again so much, and have an amazing start to the new year !! take care my friend :)

[cozmic-ash]

Fanwork creators self rec! When you get this, reply with your five favorite fics/art/podfics/etc. that you've made, then pass on to others. Let’s spread the self-love 🌼(No pressure if you don't want to though!)Hope you have a good day! ✨

oh, I DO love talking about myself, though this is gonna be kinda weird bc I haven't made a lot of art that I actually like lately lol, and I'm not committed enough to go back super far in my timeline

in no particular order:

1) The extremely self-indulgent Jack/Maddie/Vlad comic I did last year, which was my second most popular post. I had sooo much fun doing it and made myself laugh a lot, idk, it was just such a joy to make and I'm glad other people like it too (I've LOVED reading through the tags on it)

this is my favorite 'panel', I think lol

2) The big memey sketchdump from last year that was my FIRST most popular post lol, OF WHICH this is my favorite doodle.

3) This one I haven't actually posted anywhere yet bc it's still VERY early and I'm not sure I'll ever finish, but I've been fucking around with making a comic out of one of my favorite Stardew oneshots, Practical Demonstration (which is VERY ummm......... citrusy, as one might have said in 2006) and I've actually been kinda sorta enjoying that, despite Art Block From Hell and the fact that I'm Not Good at backgrounds lol

4) idk, I've had a lot of fun doing all my Potion Permit shit! The fandom is small but very funny and friendly, and idk it's just been another thing that's been fun to indulge in while Art Block From Hell continues

5) and speaking of Potion Permit, I've been writing a chemist/matheo enemies-to-lovers longfic called flew like a moth to you (sunlight) that is SO self-indulgent, but I've actually really been liking how it's turning out! It's kinda silly to say, maybe? but I've been proud of my writing with this fic. I think I have an Okay ability to string words into nice-ish-sounding sentences 🥴👌

and since I posted pics for my art, here's one of my favorite bits of the fic's first chapter (also the 'summary' lol)

"Forty years. Raised in the thick of six generations’ worth of collective knowledge, lived tradition, so intimately familiar with medicine and healing that it’s like an additional sense, something woven into the very fibers of him, his entire life’s work -- all of it cast aside in favor of an upstart, fresh-faced chemist whose sole legacy of any significance to Moonbury is one of reckless endangerment and massive ecological collapse. He stares at Myer’s hands, clasped around his wife’s, his child’s. Doesn’t understand what sort of desperation would drive a man to this. Feels a sick twist in his gut at the inconceivability of ever doing the same."

OKAY THAT'S ALL, THANK YOU!!!!

I don't really send these to anyone but like. do it if you want? toot your own horn!!! or spread it to others ig, that works too 👍

[ohai-there]

I wanna write a FMA x Naruto crossover where it's Hokage Minato + ANBU Kakashi dimension travelling to FMA. The FMA lads are like... that's a whole ass child! wdym he's one of your best soldiers???

But my current fic absolutely takes priority :sobbing:

Kakashi, completely deferring to Minato to do anything, even speaking, because they're in a foreign land and Hokage always comes first: Minato-sensei is amazing! He killed a thousand Iwa-nin :D

Minato: of course I can't compete with Kakashi, he graduated at 5, you know hehe I'm so proud, I was only on the field at 10...

FMA: what the f u ck

Summons... work? Kind of? Kakashi tries to summon Pakkun but it drains both him and Pakkun and Pakkun can't actually go back to Narutoverse because there's no other summoners with the dog contract to anchor onto, so Minato's toads are the only option.

They can't reverse summon because the distance between the two dimensions is so crazy far that it would kill them both with chakra exhaustion, but Minato can send a message through the frogs like, "1. I'm not dead, 2. Shikaku's in charge until I come back, 3. Jiraiya's gotta come back to the village ASAP and stay and advise, 4. Don't listen to any other council (because he's still trying to sort it out), 5. if you need to make any difficult decisions: DON'T, either send me a message for me to reply or delay it until I'm back."

FMA: freaking out cos that's talking animals - chimeras???? but also not?????

The ninjas should absolutely not have any trouble in the FMAverse - both of them have feats which put them faster than light so they absolutely could just... slap a bullet away with a chakra enhanced palm.

Maybe Obito can climb through Kakashi's eye because he went on a complete and utter freak-out when he realises Kakashi's gone and it results in a fight where he's absolutely trying to kill Minato for taking Kakashi away and Kakashi fighting him because he's attacking Minato-sensei and it's a huge-ass mess because they're fighting in a way which is absolutely devastating compared to alchemists.

Obito is sprouting Mokuton everywhere and phasing through attacks and Kakashi is taking hits that would absolutely kill a regular person (because shinobi are crazy durable) and bringing out all the elements and Minato is teleporting around like it's nothing.

The fight ends with Minato putting a kunai to Kakashi's throat cos he figures out that Kakashi is the bottom line and it actually works to make Obito stop attacking.

Minato's all, "as the Yondaime Hokage, I'm commanding you to stand down, Uchiha Obito." and Kakashi's standing there with Minato-sensei's kunai pressing hard enough to draw blood like, "Minato-sensei?" and Obito actually stops and just falls to his knees and says, "I think there's something wrong with me, help me please, Minato-sensei." And their return to their og world gets delayed because they have to figure out exactly to what extent the seal on Obito's heart is influencing him and how to remove it. FMA world needs to contend with the fact that it's not Just Kakashi that's like that, but it's legit the entire world that's pumping out children who kill and die.

When Obito starts losing himself to the rage Kakashi just holds him by the hand and in the smallest voice ever, just says, "don't be angry, Obito, please."

Kakashi & Obito being super traumatised and just holding hands, constantly...

It's a fix-it fic :) Obito, no longer under the influence of the seal returns to Konoha, cos of that, there's no Kyuubi attack and Minato continues on with being Hokage and butterfly effects Konoha into a better place.

I just wanna see my boys heal and also be absolute BEASTS in other dimensions...

[ironduke10]

tagged by: @irish-urn tagging: @awakening5 @northernnoir @lilunaire @blooming-gwens

number of stories posted to ao3 for 2024: 3 (2 of those being current WIPs) I'm low volume when it comes to this stuff.

word counted posted for last year: ~55K. Yeah that's light, but I have 3 kiddos to bus around after school to their various things and I get maybe an hour a day for myself.

fandoms i wrote for: Sony's Spider-Verse universe (currently comprised of the films Into The Spider-Verse, Across The Spider-Verse, and someday...2026??...Beyond The Spider-Verse)

pairings: Miles Morales and Gwen Stacy, aka Gwiles, aka Ghostflower, aka those two adorable dorks

stories with the most

KUDOS: THE Talk Between A Father And His Son (451) <- which is really weird because it's just this short little fluff thing on a dad teaching his son about the 5 love languages in a relationship BOOKMARKS (including private): Are You My Mother (146) COMMENT THREADS: Are You My Mother (69)

work i’m most proud of (and why): "Are You My Mother" which I wrote in tribute for my own mother who passed away when I was young (presumably much like Gwen's). In the movie ATSV, when I saw 5 seconds of silent staring between Gwen and Rio and later when Luna Lauren Velez (Rio's VA) explained the cultural significance of Bendicion/Que Dios Te Bendiga in an interview, I thought to myself...I bet I can do this.

share or describe a favorite review you received: I must state up front that my favorite reviews remains the ones from my 11 YO daughter (who is a creative writer herself), when I drive her to ballet or karate and she's going on and on about something I wrote she liked. That's parental nirvana right there. It makes the hours and hours of crafting a story all worth it.

But from an AO3 perspective, I have been blessed with many amazing and heartwarming comments. A lot of my favorites have to do with readers saying they like how I write the parents, or how they can see their parents in what I write, or they have healed because of the way I depicted parental love. All that is great! Because I'm a dad! So it's good to know I can write parents well. But the funniest review I ever got was from my most consistent commenter MasterInsaniac when he said:

"Somehow you have managed to balance the high romance that is Miles and Gwen along with the fact that they are both horny teenagers."

I laughed a lot after reading that.

a time when writing was really, really hard: The 3rd chapter (30K WC) of my Christmas fic (For Everything There Is A Season) was a slog. Man I was burnt out after writing that. It's not like I didn't know where I was going or had a mental block, but it just took so much time and energy to stick to the plan.

On my current WIP (Que Sera Sera) I swear Im 10/11ths done with Chapter 2, but there's this very last scene (not the ending) I'm currently tackling and it's the most pissed off I've ever been at a scene because the prose just isn't coming off in a way that I like. I really hope I stick the landing on that scene so I can publish.

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Due to what I do in real life for a profession, when I started doing this fanfic hobby thing, I took to outlining and planning early on. I like to know what I'm getting into when I'm trying to put digital pen to digital paper. However, though I do not like the actual act of writing very much at all, there are some times I admit where it gets random when I write and there are these "Ah-Ha" moments that are super cool to live through. Like a bolt of lightning comes into your head and your fingers just fly and know what to do on their own. That's a trip.

So. When I wrote about the post-BTSV dance for Miles and Gwen that everybody in the fandom is hoping that they get ("Requests and Promises"), I had planned all along to give Gwen some closure on her Peter's death and I had planned to end it somewhere on the dance floor. But then my fingers wrote into Gwen's mouth: "Miles I got another request for you," before my brain caught up and at first I said to myself - "what on earth is Gwen asking that for, I thought I was ending it now." Then my brain caught up and realized "Gwen's going to take Miles to Peter's gravestone. Ohhhhh." And then stream of consciousness pretty much took over from that point on and Gwen did the leading, not me. That was pretty neat to experience.

a favorite excerpt of your writing: Hmm this will be tough to nail down but I suppose it's this moment in "Are You My Mother" when Rio is laying it all on the line and unveiling her true intentions to Gwen in full (that is that she would love to be a sort of surrogate mother to Gwen). I channeled 3 different women in my life, to come up with this dialogue which just poured out of my head. One of those bolt of lightning moments.

“A mother’s love knows no history and has no bounds.  It is unconditional, mija.  It can’t be explained any more than that.  That is my love for you, Gwen.  It just exists.  That’s it.  And it’s not going to be scared away.”

how did you grow as a writer last year: Eh I don't like calling myself a "writer." I'm just a dad who is writing Spider-Verse fanfic at the behest of my daughter who absolutely loves these movies - specifically Gwen Stacy. I had a couple of commenters say that they can tell that I'm getting better, which is nice to hear.

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc.): I don't want to single out one person as I am lucky to be connected to many talented writers in my fandom on Discord, all of whom I ask for advice - and if they're on Tumblr they're pretty much all linked up top

anything from your real life show up in your writing last year: A very very tiny slice of it. I had a family - that we're really close to - unexpectedly move away from us last year and that was quite painful to go through for my wife and I. So in my Christmas fic, there's a moment where May and Ben move away from George (which was always going to happen), but that little life moment helped me describe George's feelings in a little better detail. Blink and you'll miss it.

any new wisdom you can share with other writers: This is not new wisdom, but I have seen sometimes other writers in a variety of fandoms doubt themselves and be embarrassed to publish. I'd say that you have to write for yourself first and foremost. You're your own #1 customer of the fic you generate. As long as you're happy rereading your stuff, who gives a flying rat's ass about what some negative commenter might say?

any projects you’re looking to starting (or finishing) this year: In 2025, Que Sera Sera is definitely getting finished. I'll crank out a few more Ganke Ghostflower drabbles. Then I'd like to tackle and hopefully complete a 5+1 concept I've had in my head. I always wanted to do a 5+1. Now I hope for my own sanity I can keep that fic on the shorter side...

[hellishjoel]

Dicovered your writing toward the end last week and was too busy being absolutely gagged all weekend by how fucking amazing it is to say anything but now that I can breathe again let me just say Holy. Shit. Holy. Fucking. Shittttttttttttthgkldahgneilk;nbkslbanfkslnvsd... I am fully deceased! I think you are the best writer on here maybe? I'm sorry I know I am being insane but I just have to say. Like Part 4 of Psycho was maybe the hottest dirtiest sweetest most adorable and perfect Joel fic I've ever read... EVER??? I ate that shit up (ALL of the parts) and I love those two like they made me melt, both in my heart and elsewhere. I'm so lucky to have found Table for Two right when the latest installment has been released. It reads so so so much like a sitcom/romance tv show in the best possible way. You need to be a tv writer... it feels like it is one of my favorite comfort shows. It has made me laugh SO SO SO MUCH (excuse me but how are you this fucking hilarious??? not chill) I think that reader/Frankie combo are my favorite of all your characters. They are toofunny and hot and endearing to not just steal my whole ass heart. I love them so much, can't wait for more and I am holding out for their happily ever after. Cherry Thrill is so fucking hot, I was panting at that shit and initially didn't think I'd have such a strong reaction to virgin!reader stuff (for no specific reason) but it actually is low key healing to read about such a thoughtful, caring, fucking hot experience and subsequent relationship. Little Black Dress... so hot. Delicate is amazing so far and has me in my feelings. And Cinnamon Girl... oh man... MY HEART. So LDR coded which is really up my alley, so HOT (I need to stop saying things are hot), I'm dying for more from those two. I hope it is not annoying that I'm saying "hope we get more!" for a lot of these because I know it's super rude and inconsiderate when readers do that BUT I sincerely do not mean it at all in a weird pressure-y way of like "give us more!!!!!!" I just mean that I am happy to have discovered any of it and am excited for more of whatever you write next. You have a really distinct voice. Your humor and style manages to carry through all of your writing, but you also are just a really versatile writer and have created such cool and different stories. I'm really impressed. I also feel inspired by it too, it makes me want to try to be more creative! I know I've acted like a fucking maniac in this message but I hope you feel the genuine adoration for you and your work! Thank you!

Hi anon, how do I say all of the emotions you just made me feel in one reply?

This little letter in my inbox is filled with so much love and excitement and horniness (respect) and from the bottom of my heart, I thank you so so much for not only taking the time to send this ask, but also to say thank you for reading damn near my entire masterlist? like WHAT?! You've read like all of my series and mentioned my one shots like this is insane! I'm really really honored that you liked my writing so much that you were willing to bounce around my brain a bit from one story to the next.

I'm just so happy to hear you've fallen in love with my little characters, and that you especially picked up on how Table for Two is written like a romcom/sit com vibe! that was exactly my goal going into this and why it's the series I'm most proud of! this is the first time I've said this on tumblr but we only have a few more chapters left of TFT so I'm glad you found it when you did and look forward to the last few bits!

I love love love love love you, thank you for sending this and I'm deeply sorry for taking so long to reply - I was genuinely at a loss of words for this much kindness. I really appreciate you and I'm lucky to have you as part of my community. stay you and keep reading <3

[cnwolf-brainrot]

🍬, ❤️, or 💥 for the fic ask game?

🍬 Do you write for multiple fandoms? If yes, what is your favorite fic of yours for each fandom?

Yes, I have written for multiple fandoms, but that also depends on what you define as a "fandom" because almost all of my stuff is Marvel adjacent lol X'D If you count Avengers, X-Men, Guardians of the Galaxy, etc as separate fandoms than I've written for a lot, but otherwise it's literally just been Marvel and a dash of TMNT. For the sake of a more fun answer I'm going to count those as separate!

Avengers/MCU: That's got to be the "Hurts to Heal, Helps to Hide" series!! I love the concept of the Healer!Clint AU and I like a lot of the ideas that are still to-be-written, it's been a fun AU to mess with! Guardians of the Galaxy: As much as I love "In The Walls", I think my favorite Guardians fic is "Like an Echo". It's a lot shorter, but I love the parallels in that story and I feel like it gave me a bit of catharsis in the face of the movies never showing us a post-Blip reunion for the Guardians. X-Men: As a surprise to no one, it's "Weapon by Name". I honestly think Weapon by Name is some of the best writing I've ever done, and it's length has allowed me to build up some super fun plot points that feel so gratifying to be tying together as we start coming closer to the end!! On top of that, the community that has sprouted up around this story is insane to me, one of the best experiences I've ever had online!! Daredevil: This is super specific but it's the "Ghosts" prompt from AU-gust 2022. This particular AU (Matt as a ghost that haunted Foggy's dorm room) has stuck in my head for some reason, and I'd really love to write a full-length story with it some day! TMNT: I've only posted two TMNT one shots, however I do have a few drafts lying around that I'd like to finish eventually! My favorite of those is one called "Splintered Sons", which is a TMNT 2003 foster care AU. It features human versions of the turtles, all of whom were put into the foster care system on the same night, though they all grew up in separate homes. Now they're all attending the same after-school dojo (all for their own reasons) and they slowly begin to realize that they were meant to be together all along... Ninjago: Same sort of thing here; I don't have any public Ninjago fics, but I have one in my drafts called "Deniable Darkness" that I would LOVE to finish up some day! It's a superhero/supervillain/vigilante AU focused around the brotherly relationship between Lloyd and Kai, with Kai being an ex-vigilante that is now working with the ninja/hero team while Lloyd is a young vigilante that is trying to take down his father, Garmadon. It's a super fun story, but one I haven't had the chance to sit down and finish.

A close follow-up to all of these of course is "Far too Young to be This Old", but I'm disqualifying that because it's a crossover fic (and because I'm not sure I can pick between that and Weapon by Name lol) <3

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

Ok, this is HARD. I honestly have a lot of lines that I'm pretty proud of, especially in the bigger fics. Off of the top of my head, I'm thinking of two:

"Without his visor every single thing that he looked at was preserved in bright, clean, shocking clarity. And every single thing he looked at was utterly destroyed." (Far too Young to be This Old)

"There you are, Kurt." (Weapon by Name)

I really liked that bit of description from Far too Young, and as for the Weapon by Name line I think it's been one of the most memorable lines from the fic so far and has so much emotional depth to it (and, hopefully soon, it will have even more...)

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

Give. Scott Summers. A decent character arc. In anything. '97 did right by him, but I'd love for the movies to give him an actual character arc. It would honestly fix a lot of the problems I had with the X-Men movies.

Or, for something more specific, I'd change Sean Cassidy's death. That was stupid, there was no emotional impact because the characters never reacted, holy cow I'm still furious at Marvel for that.

And of course I would expand on the whole "Nightcrawler was part of Weapon X" plotline from X2, but that's what Weapon by Name is for!! :D

[artaxlivs]

Self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🖤

I was super busy costuming my opera and didn't answer this when I got it. Then I got another one the other day so I figured I finally should. IDK which of my fandoms this Anon is from so I'm answering this one with my five Hawkeye favs and I'm answering the other with my five Steddie favs tmrw.

At Last - (E) Clint Barton/Bucky Barnes - it's the first in an eight part series called True Colors that I should have made a chapter fic but it was my first fic ever and I was afraid no one would read it so I made the first part able to stand alone. Canon adjacent soulmate fic where the snap made everyone see in grayscale and you can only see in color when you find your soulmate. I wrote it in Jan of 2022 so I'm just about to have my 2 year anniversary 😍

Something to Tweet About - (T) Clint Barton/Bucky Barnes - it's just a little guy (2400 words) but it's cute and I'm told the tweets and the twitter handles are adorable. Plus it features pizza as a love language which - for those of you who aren't Clint fans, is actually one of his languages of love (mine too)

The Happiest Place on Earth - (E) Clint Barton/Bucky Barnes - this is the most meta thing I've ever written. Bucky Barnes works as Disneyland as a character actor. He's 5'9 so he doesn't get to play the Winter Solider because Seb Stan plays him in the MCU and Seb is 6 feet tall. Instead, Bucky plays Hawkeye because Jeremy Renner is only 5'9. Some tall asshole named Clint Barton gets cast as Disneyland's Winter Soldier and Bucky hates him for it. Fuck Clint, seriously.

The Case of the Missing Purple Sweatshirts - (T) Clint Barton/Bucky Barnes - Someone's stealing all of Clint's sweatshirts and when he mentions they have a mystery to solve like the Scooby Doo Gang, he finds out that Steve, Nat and Bucky don't know who Scooby Doo is. So he throws a slumber party. It's fluffy and sweet and it makes me want to snuggle Bucky.

What If Clint Fell - (E) Steve Rogers/Clint Barton - This one is an AU where Clint was born way earlier and he meets Steve and Bucky in the war. And it's Clint who falls from the train, not Bucky. This is a very rare pair but there's a lot of emotional/trauma healing in this fic and I'm super proud of it. It's a series called A Bird By Any Other Name. Part two has Natasha and part three - when I eventually write it, will have Wanda and Pietro.

[bundracky]

Summer Recap: August - September 2024 ♡

Happy October, Vampunnies!

I can't believe it's already autumn, it feels like the year is flying by! Before I fully indulge in the new season, I wanted finish up the last of my summer recap posts~

Today I'll be writing about my trip to San Diego, OMORI, NIKKE, and Chiikawa pop-ups, outdoor movies, and meeting my Hololive oshi Nerissa Ravencroft?! This is also a pretty long one, so read more under the cut!

One of my goals this summer was to work on my tan, as I lowkey was looking sickly after the insane rainy season we had earlier this winter and spring. So I decided to plan another visit to the beach, this time a two-day trip to San Diego, a city on the Pacific coast!

From where I am, it's about a 2-3 hour drive depending on traffic. My hotel check in time was in the evening, so I wanted to spend the day going around! After my drive, I knew I was going to start getting hungry, so the first thing on my itinerary was visiting Mitsuwa to buy some food to eat at the beach. My toxic trait is always having to do gacha whenever I end up in a Japanese market, and so I bought some Blue Archive wafer cards and a Sonny Angel Hipper! I'm really happy because all my pulls ended up so cute~ In that plaza, I found a cute cafe called Flour Atelier, and got a lavender matcha latte (surprise) and some macarons ♡

My hotel was by the Crystal Pier, so I decided to spend my day there! My sister was with me during this trip, and she wanted to check out the Brandy Melville before we went on the actual beach. I ended up buying a cute tote bag. After shopping, we went down to the beach! It was a particularly hot day, so jumping into the cold water of the Pacific healed my soul. After playing in the water, I ate my yummy rice bowl from Mitsuwa and took a nap in the sun~

After heading to the hotel and getting checked in, I ended up going to a Thai restaurant for dinner. I had salmon with mango and rice, and it was so good. I was pretty proud of myself because I realized I have worked my way up to 2 out of 4 on Thai spice levels! (I used to be a 0 once upon a time...)

The next day, I went out to La Jolla! And of course, I had to go look at the seals and sea lions. There were so many! Apparently, the reason why this famous for them is because they go here to rest on the shores. I wish I brought my bathing suit with me that day since there was a cute little cove area you could swim by! Definitely next time~

For brunch I visited a super cute cafe called Sugar and Scribe. I had their "Blueberry Love" pancakes and a lemon lavender mimosa~ It was super good, and I'd love to visit there again!

And as my last activity out here, I visited the Museum of Contemporary Art San Diego. I'm not as familiar with contemporary art, especially when a lot of them are more localized to their community. However I always enjoy learning about new things, and seeing how museums curate their collections. Plus there were actually a few artists I did recognize! There were a lot of interesting pieces here, and I'll attach some of my favorites to the post.

One of the fun things about summer is alllll the pop-ups!

In Anaheim, there was an OMORI x Requiem Cafe pop-up. Which I was pretty excited for as I actually just started getting into OMORI after playing it on stream this month. My favorite characters are Hero and Mari, so I decided to get their themed drinks, as well as the Sweetheart Sundae! Everything was super tasty, and while you enjoyed your drinks you could take in the ambiance of the cafe's fantasy decor and OMORI bgm~ They had pretty cute exclusive merch too, so I got Hero and Mari's keychains, and a pink tote bag with the collab art.

Another pop-up I attended was the NIKKE x Animate LA collab at the Del Amo Shopping Center in Torrance. There were so many cute cut-outs and they had huge advertisements for the NIKKE x Evangelion collaboration. I mostly went to purchase some of the NIKKE Exhibition items they imported from Japan!

There were a couple activities to do for freebies as well! For the opening weekend, they had cute cosplayers host a quiz game for prizes. The question they asked me was literally "Name a Nikke who has a bunny suit!" Of course I answered so quickly with Alice~ Now, for reference, the prizes were also gacha because you had to pull from a jar and you would get an A, B, or C prize. So far this whole time, people were either getting A or B prizes, which were can badges and desk mats respectively. But if you don't know, my NIKKE luck is kind of insane, so I was the only one who pulled a C prize-- an acrylic stand!! Which was my preference as I love acrylic stands hehe. I got one of Rapi and I cherish it a lot since I have so many good memories attached to it.

After the NIKKE pop-up, I also visited the Mitsuwa in that mall to once again do more Blue Archive wafer pulls and buy lunch. I didn't realize how close this mall was to Redondo Beach until recently, so my friends and I decided to check it out. It's a quieter beach compared to the more touristy ones, so it was a great place to chill. Before going home, I found a super cute and pink cafe with jelly bunnies! Very Alice core~

The last pop-up I attended this summer was the Chiikawa x Miniso Pop-up at the Irvine Spectrum! It was heaven on earth (literally just a huge store of just Chiikawa stuff). I actually proxied the Chiikawa crossbody from this collab from Japan since I didn't know it was coming to SoCal at the time. So I really only had my eyes on one thing when I went for myself: Giant Chiikawa plushie!!! It's literally the biggest plushie I own, and is currently taking up so much space in my room, but it was so, so worth it. I've also attached a photo of him at Barnes and Noble at the mall because it was hilarious carrying him around that day.

Also, I feel the need to mention this somewhere in this post, Sunright Tea Studio was having a collab with Ace Attorney Investigations! I tried Edgeworth's Oolong Oolong Milk Tea and got a cute sticker too! It was a pretty basic drink, but still good. In a way, I think it suits him haha!

Another fun summer activity I got to enjoy was watching outdoor movies! I found out the Huntington Library was having a cute summer movie night event every month, so I came by to watch Tangled in August and Jurassic Park in September! Grab a picnic blanket and some snacks and enjoy these movies in the garden lawn!

Tangled is my favorite Disney movie, it's just such a comfort to me. I think for this day I spent some time in the gardens just to chill and then picked up some snacks for the movie at Hmart. I also visited Lacey Park while waiting for the Huntington to open up for the evening. It was a really cute community park!

As for Jurassic Park night, I invited some friends to come along with me and it was really fun! I haven't seen this movie since I was a kid, and it's kind of crazy how well this movie aged? Like the animatronic work was amazing! I think this day I visited Erewhon and got a smoothie, as well as a bag of Ludivine Macarons-- of which by the way, I would love to visit Ludivine in Los Angeles in the future...!

And now for the final topic of my summer recap series!

So, I wasn't planning on going to Anime Impulse OC this year... but hololive was like, yes you are! They announced a lottery to meet either Callie, Ina, or a member of Advent. Nerissa is like, my kamioshi of all vtubers ever. I was pretty casual about liking vtubers before, but after hearing Nerissa's singing during Advent's debut well... I had to stan, y'know?

Now, I did not win initially. I wasn't surprised at all since the chances were so low. There are many dedicated Hololive fans, including people willing to fly in from out of state or even Japan for this. However, literally two days before the con, I was eating dinner, and suddenly got an email notification saying one of the winners couldn't make it, and I won the second draw!

I didn't have much time to prepare for this con, so I just brought my trusty Maison de Fleur boston bag and decorated it with the few Nerissa goods I could decorate it with. Anime Impulse is a pretty chill con, which I appreciate. I've been going to the LA one for a few years now, but this was my first time going to AIOC! Despite being a smaller con, they've been growing a lot these past few years.

I did go around getting some freebies from some gacha games I didn't know but had cute stuff, perused Artist Alley, and bought some cute Korean deco stickers from the K-Pop section of the con. Hoyoverse also ran an official Honkai: Star Rail merch booth, from which I got the ticket themed Acheron keychain~

Also, I just want to make a quick shoutout to one of the shops I often collaborate with: Sora Gumi! They were vending that day and kindly gifted me some official Wuthering Waves goods. Male Rover is one of the coolest MC designs, ever. I don't talk about it much, but I'm obsessed with him (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) Anyway, the staff working there is really cool, please show them support at their stores either at Little Tokyo and The Source OC! (You can also buy official game, anime, etc. goods from them online at Nekotwo, and use my code "daiyastone" for a % off your order!)

And finally, Meet & Greet time! I actually had practiced what I wanted to say a few times, but when you're standing in line waiting for your turn, it's a little nerve wracking!! The fellow Jail Birds in line were really nice and we all hyped each other up! Nerissa was so kind and sweet, it was easier talking to her than I thought it would be. I actually wrote down how the conversation went, so you can read it if you'd like! I was 100% rizzed by her in this three-minute window...

This was such a wonderful experience and I'm so grateful for the opportunity! Also, I just want to say a big thank you to my bestie for helping me afford purchasing my tickets!! T^T

And that was my summer! Honestly I didn't even get to writing about everything because there's just so much, and I'm already just trying to recap since it's literally October... I still can't believe it.

Well, thank you for reading if you got this far! I hope you enjoyed reading about my summer adventures! From here on out posts will be more focused on specific topics and travels, so I hope you continue to checking out my posts in the future! Until next time!

[bubblegum-blackwood]

Tagged by @desertfangs (thank you!): When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Bath Bombs - E, Daniel/Marius, 4660 words. What no who said I was projecting on Daniel in this fic haha. Exploring Daniel's monsterfucker side with some bonus Marius Dom drop! I'm super proud of how this one turned out, I really enjoyed writing it.

Teacher's Pet - E, Marius/Armand, 19867 words. College AU I wrote out of spite and ended up having so much fun with that I'm planning on making another three or so fics in the universe, featuring some good old Daddy Marius and Lestat, Louis, and Armand being in a band together. Daniel will appear in the sequel but I'm not far enough along to post it yet, it'll probably happen some time after the Vamptember craze dies down and I stop obsessively coming up with new WIPs to fit prompts for fandom events 😅

In You I Taste God - M, Lestat/Armand, 1356 words. Inspired by "Adore" by The Smashing Pumpkins, this is Armand and Lestat talking about Armand's suicide attempt and what he saw in Lestat's blood on the chapel floor. I would highly recommend the song if you haven't listened to it, it gives me major L/A vibes and I just enjoy The Smashing Pumpkins, and yes I did listen to that one song on loop for the entire time it took me to write this fic.

Surrender the Night (chapter seven of my Marius/Armand prompt collection Dark and Stormy Fairy Tale) - E, 3425 words. You can never go wrong with, in @fofoqueirah's words, some good old nostalgic whipping. Also Daniel's there too. 🖤 I like all of Dark and Stormy Fairy Tale (Wolf Song and Trust Fall especially), but this is my favourite out of all of them.

Bring Me to Life - G, Loustat, 7452 words. The first fic I ever wrote for VC, in which the ending of IWTV actually happens and Louis comes back for Lestat to heal themselves together. It's fun, it's sweet, and I incorporate some Evanescence lyrics into it!

Honourable mention to Fruit Gushers, my Mael/Marius hate-fuck fic (with some surprise Daniel/Marius and Daniel/Armand there at the end), for being my weird little brainrot obsession fic just like everything else I've done with Mael. It was stupidly fun to write.

Tagging: @fofoqueirah @darkangel1791 @hekateinhell @shittyravencarcosa @faerywhimsy

[araminthe]

Sunday 25 of August

Just me sharing some kinda random thoughts, good luck reading all that;

Writing takes time so I kinda took a break to have more time to work on myself.

So, those past few days have been great.

The key is really to get back up everytime you fail. There's nothing else that will help but being persistent in your efforts.

Anyway, 2 days ago I watched a video on YouTube that inspired me a lot. It was a girl that filmed herself throughout her teenage years and she put all those short videos into a long chronological one.

I felt nostalgic, it brought back this feeling of sweet childhood and the simplacity of life.

I deeply believe that by evolving, we humans have lost something essential; I couldn't describe it with simple words, but it's the fact that not being connected to the rest of the world makes you feel more alive in the moment.

Being able to enjoy the mundane everyday life. Getting to enjoy all the small things around; like time spent with family, friends, sharing a meal, getting interested in what's around, creating, enjoying hobbies, being proud of every small thing we did. Just being happy. I believe that this simplicity is partially the key to happiness, and we forgot it with the rise of social media, and this infinite content.

We're way too connected to a digital life to be able to enjoy our real one.

Anyway, that's just an opinion I formed with my personal observations and experiences.

What I wanted to say is that after watching this video (btw it's called "documented my teenage years" by Lili Saori), it brought out many feeling things from deep within my soul. It made me envy this simple happiness and joy I was able to have in the past.

So, I just decided to keep going in my process of self-growth. I also decided to disconnect a bit more from the digital world to enjoy more the present moment and my family.

I feel like it worked.

Those last few days, I did go out with my family, and I felt more joy those days than I used to, like a peace of mind. The more adequate way to describe it is that, It feels like since I'm curing myself from my addictions (like from phones and excessive dopamine) I gained back the ability to taste and feel the peacefulness and sweetness of life.

Which is why I've been feeling kinda euphorical those past few days.

I've also worked on my faith and I feel like God is helping me accomplish all of that. I always forget it, but everytime I go back to my faith and try to strengthen, I start to feel peaceful and fulfilled again, and everything else I try to do starts becoming easier to.

-

Well enough for my thoughts.

Now what I actually did is that is that I studied and practiced my faith more.

I did no work concerning my driving license, I didn't feel like it so it was kinda a resting period to first heal the essential; which is my soul.

It wasn't at all perfect because I fell back into very bad sleeping and eating habits.

But you know, failing is a part of the process.

There are things I've been trying to improve on for such a long time, since we're so impatient we tend to change the change immediately, but it's a process so it comes slowly, with failures and successes.

After this reflecting time, I kinda had this clarity of mind where I figured out lots of things.

So suddenly I woke up after 4h30 of sleep, feeling super energized, after trying for an hour I couldn't go back to sleep so I just decided to work. I worked for 2h, and I feel very proud because I had lost my capacity to focus and work like that for a very long time.

Short form content had very badly messed me up. It's even the reason I failed almost all of my exams of this year, even though it's my first year of uni. Which is why I have to redo to year.

I was completely unable to study even though I used to be such a good student through all my school years, it made me feel so miserable. I don't want to go trough that again.

And school starts in 2 weeks again and I am scared of the same thing happening to me again, wanting to work but being unable to.

But I will do my best and swear to not let myself down again.

Anyway, I worked a lot, then slept again for 3 hours, and I woke up feeling very good.

I spent lot of time with family and felt kinda high on life.

Everything made me happy.

Talking to my parents, with my siblings, etc..

Because I'm usually so distant with them.

I love them but never show it. Like I have no emotional connection to them. But I do.

I'm just not a big feeler. But anyway, it's nice to feel truly happy again after such a long time of despair.

Being happy and having small moments of joy in between your struglles is not the same.

And after that, I also worked a whole lot again on my driving license.

I almost spent half my day on that.

I thing in 2 or 3 days, I will be able to take the exam and finally go to the practical step.

For the moment I'm taking the theoretical test and I have to learn all the rules and advices for learning, there were more than I hundred lessons I swear.

It makes me so excited to think that I will finally get to drive a car, (even though it's for learning for the moment.)

Well, that kinda was a long monoligue.

But writing has this healing effect on me.

The inside of my head is so unorganised, writing slows down this thought process and makes it more clear and organized.

It's a form of self-help.

Anyway.

If you read this, well done, that surely was not an easy or entertaining task, but I appreciate the time you've given to it.

Wish everyone the best.

Keep going. Efforts are accumulated and failing is part of the process. Just get back up and do not lose sight of your goals.

Nothing's impossible, just give it time and you will see your results.

Sending love, bye ! 👋 🩷

[dragonmuse]

20 Questions for Fanfci writers

I was tagged by @thetragicallynerdy ! Thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

278. Please remember I've been writing for 20+ years and I did port everything over when I left LJ.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

4,491,070, but that is artificially inflated from the 800k repost of Leda Verse in one file, so it's actually 3.6 million give or take.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now just OFMD, but uh...many. So many.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. How (thanks to Gabriel) Dean and Castiel (accidentally) raised each other (and Sam). Supernatural. Dean/Castiel. Sam/Gabriel. I wrote this 11 years ago. It's a juggernaut.

2. A Mountain I'm Willing to Die On. Zootopia. Judy Hopps/Nick Wilde. I have no defense, I was compelled as soon as I saw the movie.

3. (Redacted because fuck J.K. Rowling, but I refuse to take down work and pretend that I was never in the fandom. The story comes with a very clear disclaimer that I do not support or agree with her in any way.)

4. Jonathan to his David. MCU. Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes. The one were Steve has a tiny penis and Bucky is into it.

5. All the First Times. MCU. Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes. One of those stories where Bucky heals in the Avengers Tower.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

YES! Because I love to stay thank you and it helps build community! <3 Love you all.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Treacherous Waters. The Hobbit. Fili/Kili. I got many shrieking comments on this one, including 'I actually curled around my computer making distressed sounds of horror' Very proud of myself for that one.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That's pretty subjective. A lot of my fics end pretty happily with personal growth, found family, and parties.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So far I've mostly managed to avoid being picked up on that radar. I've gotten stray comments, but it's rarely hate. I think it's mostly because I've never quite gotten popular enough to draw that kind of attention. I know the more attention a fic has gotten, the more likely I am to start to get odd comments or asks. I'm also not very active on Twitter which I think helps.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Rarely! I used to subscribe to the theory that if you don't put in smut, no one will read your work, but as birthday present to myself five or six year ago, I just stopped writing it as an experiment and while my hits went down, not nearly as much as you'd think. Now I only write if the mood really strikes me and am much happier for it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Yep! I don't think it was crazy, but I wrote a short Avengers/Mad Max one that I'm pretty proud of: Fresh Eden

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not stolen. I did have them put on Goodreads without permission which was a weird moment in fandom a few years back. I mean it's possible someone's stolen something and I haven't found out yet, I guess. My book has been pirated though.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Thanks to all the translators out there, you do incredible work for your community.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A few times! Nothing super recent though there's WIP out there.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I don't have one. I'm a consummate multishipper. I will say my most consistent ship over the years is Brian/Bender of The Breakfast Club. I will always go back to that well.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

The SMAU I was working on in OFMD. It was a really fun experiment and I don't really have that much left to go, but the amount of work to make it was extensive.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. I really love writing how people talk to each other and I think a lot about tone and vocabulary and styles.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plotting. I tend to go by the seat of my pants.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I will generally just note when someone has switched languages. I don't have any confidence in auto translators and unless it's an established canon nickname or endearment, I try to avoid it. I admire multilingual authors so much!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Buffy! I was fifteen and it was a Willow/Spike fic. That was...almost twenty five years ago.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

The answer changes, and for a long time it was this Sam/Gabriel fic where I put my whole philosophy major ass into it. But these days, it's definitively Leda House and the Kraken Verse. How could it not be?

---

Thanks so much for the tag, this was a lot of fun!! Neat to look back, too.

I'm gonna tag (but only if you feel like it friends!) @internerdionality @museaway @napneeders

If you didn't get tagged but see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!!

[dreambunnynotes]

daily reflection: nov. 17th ❤︎

whoops, i didn't post my to-do lists or check-ins this week, but that is okay! my usual instinct is to give up and restart when i don't do something perfectly, but the whole point of documenting my self-improvement journey is to break the habits that don't serve me. i'm in the early stages of trying out this blog and it's okay to make mistakes, and i'm going to avoid the perfectionist loop by posting what i wrote up for the 17th of november! 🥰 it was a really successful day for my mental health and so i want to document it. here is what i wrote a few days ago:

accomplishments:

today i primarily focused on my social health, and i absolutely killed it!! it's actually making me tear up writing this reflection. i am currently dipping my toes into meeting new people, rekindling old friendships, and loving myself enough to show up as myself, which is my absolute biggest hurdle in my self-love journey due to my own trauma and life experiences. wonderfully, the successes i have had so far in trying to be myself and pushing through my fear and shame have been SO rewarding, which only encourages me to keep going and reminds me that it is safe to try! one of my most wonderful manifestations right now is manifesting my dream friend group where i feel loved and also have FUN, since i have had very low standards for friendships in the past. i kept receiving the message of "being true to myself" this week, and i set the intention that i was going to try to be my bestest, silliest, most authentically neurodivergent self no matter how hard it was. so many beautiful things have happened since setting that intention, and here are the results from just yesterday:

i hung out with my sister for an hour or two (which doesn't take energy for me, she is my best friend and the person i wish to base all of my future friendships off of!! c':) and even though i was nervous and apprehensive, we went to hang out with her theatre friends before their show that evening. i decided to try being authentically me despite the fear of being judged, and not only were they super lovely and fun, they also laughed at my jokes and made me feel very valued for being there! i felt really grateful to have that experience, and grateful to myself for giving it a try.

i hung out with my friend "ac" at their house for a bit while we got ready for a show, and it was really nice to see them again! i had been feeling a bit bummed about our friendship lately because they had been treating me in a way that felt pretty triggering, but i reconnected with the law of assumption and realized that it was because i expected them to show up that way, which helped me heal my relationship with them a little.

we went to pre-game at their partners house, though i wasn't drinking. i met several new people, and they were all so sweet and nice! instead of feeling lonely that i was a new person being introduced to a very longstanding friend group, i chose to ask those at the house party questions about their friend lore (lol) and was my sweet and silly self. i found myself laughing along to things i didn't find funny and not really enjoying myself, which ended up being helpful; instead of listening to the internal voice that often says "you'll never find your friends," i was able to witness the voice and reply with, "you're trying new things, and you're learning about your preferences; how beautiful is that!" i was really proud of myself for this witnessing and not-shaming, and i did end up having quite a few wonderful conversations after that. i was able to see that the situation was not black and white, and that there can be multiple perspectives per experience!

i had a negative interaction with someone i knew there that made me feel embarrassed because of the way they responded to me. instead of internalizing it, i remembered that real friends wouldn't make me feel that way, which was another win for connecting with my authentic self despite the fear!

i made a new friend who i had never met before which was so, so beautiful! we talked about vocal stims and musical theatre karaoke lmao it was so great, i felt really accepted by them and it was just such a treat to hang out and laugh with them! it's so nice to meet new people you instantly feel connected to, and, again, was proof that by being my purest self, i will meet the people i connect with.

at the venue, i put on my massive ear-protectors because i am very overstimulated by sound, and it was just so comforting to know that none of my friends there in the big friend group were judging me. it was safe to do what i had to do; in fact, it was celebrated!

anyway, i'm feeling really positively about my social experiences today. it was the biggest part of my day and i feel proud of myself for overcoming my biggest fears. it's so funny to me that my body reacts to seeing a friend the same way it would react if i was being attacked by a lion; the nervous system is a funny thing, but i'm glad it wants to keep me safe!

other accomplishments:

i didn't cancel work even though i really, really wanted to. i showed up and did my job, which shows that i can trust myself to get things done when i need to!

improvements to make:

i need to set clear goals so that my days are easier to navigate, because without clarity i wander pretty aimlessly with the time i have. i will improve this by getting specific about my dreams and desires, and planning my days accordingly!

woo! kind of a long and rambly post today, but it's alright, it's important for me to document. hope everyone is doing wonderfully and taking care of themselves the best they can!

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

This is kind of a weird question, but do you have any tips for meeting Marv Wolfman? I remember you saying you've met him at a con in the past. I'm going to a con in the fall where he's scheduled to appear and I'm so nervous!! How did meeting him go for you?

Oh gosh, I'm not an expert on the man or anything! But he was so cool to meet! I'm excited for you!

I was super overwhelmed by the convention and also very nervous about meeting him (kinda starstruck by the time I got to his table). But he seemed understanding. I met him in cosplay of 80's Raven and he complimented it, specifically said he liked that I got the fingers on the gloves right because he felt it was very important with her healing for her to be able to touch, he didn't mention the missing rings (which I had tried to create and was embarrassed about not having), and he was happy to talk about the comics he'd written. (I wish I didn't have such social anxiety back then and had actually had a better conversation with him!)

I honestly think he spoke more words than me, genuinely half the words I got out was the word "awesome". And he seemed genuinely happy to be there.

Also, I forgot to ask for a picture at the table but I found him right before a panel he was in and asked for a picture then, and he seemed happy to do so. He was very respectful and didn't get uncomfortably close. And I think when my phone rang (aloud) during the panel and I rushed off (again, in Raven cosplay), he was the one that made a joke about the Teen Titan going to save the day.

It was overall a very positive experience, and if he ever comes to Ohio again, I'd like to meet him again! And maybe pick his brain a bit. He was happy to sign things (I became the proud owner of an autographed copy of Tales of the New Teen Titans #2!), he didn't charge for it, and he was selling scripts and issues and a few other things at his table.

If you're like me and you get tongue-tied, a trick I've learned is to come prepared already knowing what you want to say, bring notes so you don't forget, or if there's a lot or you're bad at verbalizing your thoughts, write a physical letter to give!

[yellowocaballero]

ok so im not very far into trigun (which. you convinced me to read/watch) but ive seen you talk about vash as a christ/messiah figure which. means im kinda obsessed with how you described his impact on the world in no name on the bullet (christ healing the lame, christ feeding the thousand... christ delivering his people from evil.) did you have any specific biblical references you kept in mind while writing?

i also think its super interesting how the fic seems to focus more heavily on healing as opposed to how (what ive seen of) trigun is a lot more gunman focused - is part of that influenced by how knives is a pacifist in a "cold turkey" way, or a choice on your part? i think it makes an interesting dichotomy, christ the gunman and satan the physician

I've gone my entire life without recommending Trigun to anybody, because I always felt it was too weird and ultra-violent and love-it-or-hate-it to actually ask people to watch it. Look at me now. Getting at least 3+ people into it. Boo boo the fool. Also I'm sorry that this response is so long skull emoji.

I'm ex-Catholic so you have asked the right question lol. Vash is very inspired by the Old Testament God. I have a strong mental image of him obsessing over the Noah's Arc story in his cute children's Bible. Sodom and Gomorrah is brought up again much later, in an extremely important way. Garden of Eden and Paradise, as the show does. The Plagues where every firstborn son dies. These is all imagery that Vash specifically evokes on purpose. Vash...uses the Bible to understand his own experiences and feelings and desires (that's the most neutral way to phrase it), but like a lot of people he uses the Bible/God partly as justification for his actions. God destroys cities for being sinful, and Vash is the closest thing to God this planet has, so he's entitled lol. God Complex McGee up in here.

And Vash's cult has no Jesus, because there is no forgiveness for humanity, and no way for them to be saved. Which is how you know that Vash's Jesus-ey actions as described in the story are very deceitful on a lot of different levels. Kind of like regular Vash lmfao - as I said earlier, he's VERY much also a messiah deconstruction. Vash is a pacifist partly because he needs it - he needs to be believed that people can be saved, that the world can be good, that nobody has to die, because otherwise the world is nothing but an endless parade of misery and death and his own suffering. It's about saving his own soul, and the memory of Rem.

For me, on a writing level: Cain and Abel, obviously. 'My brother's keeper'-ass mofo lmfao. It's more themes for me, though - redemption, salvation, forgiveness, original sin, sin in general, guilt, fate. Knives is pretty obsessed with all of these topics. I make fun of him for it. None of it's healthy. But Knives embodies a few other Christian ideals that I don't make fun of him for, such as the importance of good works and good actions, and dedicating his life towards helping others without the desire for a reward. There's also some subtle 'shepherd and his sheep' stuff going on later.

Re: the gunfights: can you IMAGINE Knives carrying a gun. He is WAY too proud of his own #biologicalsuperiority and #ultimatelifeform and #impenetrabledefense (literally Shadow AND Gaara-ass mofo) to rely on cheap human trinkets like guns lol.

The plot has more action than my usual (yay! - that was what I was working for lol), but it's based off the skeleton of the Stampede plot, which is genuinely a lot more space opera than Western and as such its action looks different. Turns out that when you remove the Gung Ho Guns from a story, there are a LOT LESS gunfights, lmfao (I don't know what kind of errands Vash sends the GHG out on, I am afraid to find out). So partly there's less gunfights because a) Stamp plots don't require too many gunfights, and b) without a Gunman (TM) there's no reason for the group to use guns to solve their problems if at all possible.

It's also just that, basically, Vash's plots are partly man vs self and partly man vs other. When a character is level 99, the tension of the fight scene isn't if they'll win the fight - it's if they'll win the fight under their self-imposed conditions. In Vash's case, the Q in every gunfight is 'can Vash win the fight and save people without compromising his principles?'. For Knives, he is so ridiculously OP that it's impossible to write a fight scene with genuine tension, and he doesn't care nearly as deeply about casualties. So the most engaging plotlines for Knives are entirely man vs self, which tends to shake out into a lot of trolley problems lol. That's the answer to your Q from a writing perspective.

So it's mostly a choice for plot/writing reasons. But YUP the dichotomy is SUPER JUICY, and the fun part of the story is reading the Ultimate Killing Machine be forced to do literally anything else than Ultimate Kill - to do the only thing he wasn't meant to do. Because doing what he was meant to do reduces him to a biblical figure instead of a person - it makes him just a devil, who's never exercised the free will God gave him, and as such can't be called sentient. It's not what Rem would want. And it's a very juicy juxtaposition to somebody who interprets his own meaning in life as a Christ figure as a divine compulsion to brutally murder orphan.