#which i wont comment on whether or not it was appropriate bc thats not really my place

[yuridovewing]

Not physically disabled so feel free to correct me on anything here, but it is insane how open the Erins are about using the c slur. Not even just as a derogatory term (which it is) it's just casually used in narration by the good guys to refer to disabled characters. Pretty consistently too. No one gets angry or points out that its derogatory or anything (except for the disabled character in question which usually gets dismissed as "oh they're just angry ignore them") Like I don't think it being a lesser known slur is an excuse because it's been classified as such since the 70s and these are grown adults who should know better.

Just another example that these books are not safe for disabled kids to read.

[samarecharm]

Ryuji learns immediately that Akira is a little food goblin and in the worst way possible 😭 He eats literally anything, he doesnt attempt to ‘chef up’ anything he cooks. He draws the line at expired food but the food he makes for himself looks so fucking sad (ryujis words) that it might as well be garbage. And its not that Akira Wont cook or is averse to Learning how to cook, hes just. Busy. And he really doesnt balk at what most would consider bad tasting food. But ryuji does!!! He DOES balk!!!! He balks alot in fact! So while he knows he himself is not the Best cook in the world, he IS someone raised by his momma, and he will use everything she taught him to make food that Akira will ACTUALLY like and not just tolerate.

So he takes Akira food shopping in the market, picks out vegetables and spices and meats that Akira admits (embarrassed) he has never touched in his life. He tells Akira what to look for in markets, whats normally in season, what the appropriate prices are, what different cuts of meat are meant for, and Akira follows him like a toddler following their mother, looking at the displays listening intently. Hes a smart kid. Scary smart. And he picks and chooses whats worth investing into, whether Ryuji realizes it or not. So Akira listens and absorbs whatever Ryuji is telling him, bc Ryuji matters to him.

Ryuji has him on prep work duty. He shows Akira the easy way to chop and cube vegetables. Remembers halfway through that Akira is actually wicked scary with a blade; shows him a video of a professional cutting celery at lightning speed and is SO excited to see Akira replicate it near perfectly. Hes like a machine; chopping with such laser precision and Akira cannot help but feel a little bit warm when Ryuji openly compliments him

Ryuji is so loud and brash everywhere but the kitchen. Hes focused in a way Akira has never seen him be; listing off instructions and tips, carefully adding ingredients and measuring things by eye. While making the stew, he blanks on the amount of seasoning he should be adding, and before Akira can try to help him rubberduck, Ryuji video calls his mom. And Akira almost panics bc what if she was asleep? Or what if shes working??? But she picks up after two rings, wearing a nightgown and smiling huge and wide into the camera. Ryuji waves at her, and then moves the phone a bit to get Akira into frame. He does a very chill, not at all panicked and anxious wave and she smiles at him too.

Ryuji shows her the pot stewing and she comments on the coloring and texture of it. She pokes fun at him (‘oo did you go to a fancy market? Those beef cuts looks very nice’) to which ryuji waves her off, used to her teasing.

‘Have that young man try to season it; this is a team effort!’ And so Ryuji props the phone up so that she can see him and Akira by the stove top as she guides them. A sprinkle of this seasoning from top to bottom, yes perfect, and a pinch of that seasoning- ehh a little more than that- okay perfect, and add a ton of that seasoning in front of you- more. More. Ryuji I said a Ton, tell him i said a Ton- oh right he can hear me I SAID ADD A TON- okay thats it i think, if it comes out too salty, scoop some out and replace it with more stock or some water.

And from then on Ryuji just chats with his mom while Akira watches from his side of the counter; Ryuji mentions the nice lake that he wants to try fishing at, and some nice natural paths to run on in the mornings, and she tells him about her shift and the movie she saw the other day with some friends. Its very nice. It comes so easy to them; Akira cant remember the last time he got to hear his mom just chat about her life with him. Kinda hurts, but not really. Not when hes got Sojiro calling him, telling him about his day while Akira tinkers about at his desk. Its basically the same thing; even better when Akira thinks about it.

And then he thinks some more. And into the realization that Ryuji is here with him in his house cooking and relaxing and chatting with his mom. The tv is on in the livingroom buzzing at a volume thats barely audible. The setting sun is peaking through the curtains. His mom makes a snide comment about her coworker that makes Ryuji laugh a bit under his breath, and Akira is like. Painfully aware of how nice this feels. Warm and easy. It feels a bit silly to even say it but it feels domestic; it feels like home. And hes always been here, always lived here, but it didnt feel like Home as much as it did in this moment, with Ryuji idly chatting with his mom as he tended to the pot on the stove. He wants to capture this moment and keep it tucked away somewhere. And later on, when hes staring at the ceiling, head swimming as he tries to fall asleep, he’ll think ‘no. I dont want to just have this moment. I want more moments like this. I want to live in these moments again and again and again.’ Hes greedy like that, he thinks. He wants and wants and wants; wants so bad it makes his chest ache.

The stew comes out good. A bit salty, which Ryuji remedies by adding a bit more stock to the pot after theyve had their servings. Akiras face is a mix of childlike delight and contentment, eyes bright in that sweet and adorable way that has Ryujis face turning pink, suddenly a bit shy. Being complimented about his cooking is a different kind of nice hes not used to. Akira does a little happy bop with his head, the same bop he’ll do when he eats sweets with Ann.

“This is Really good-‘

“Oi! Please chew everything first before talking.”

Akira thinks its an act of love. In the same way art from Yusuke is an act of love, and the way Hangout Nights with Ann is an act of love; this is Ryujis. I want you to eat well. I want you to be well. Because I care about you. Ryuji cares so much. To come and stay with him. To cook with him, to live with him, even if for a moment. ‘My place…is right at your side.’ ‘Whaddya mean? Youre there.’ Like it keeps Akira up at night sometimes thinking of how much hes loved. It feels so foreign to him, yet natural all at once. Waking up to the rest of the breakfast Ryuji left for him after cooking. Ryuji listening to him ramble about some tech shit Akira knows only he truly cares about (Ryuji pays attention and tries to follow which is more than Akira can ask for). Like its a bit overwhelming but its nice. Its warm and loving and its nice.

Ryuji finds himself napping against Akiras taller frame on the couch, the movie they picked out failing to keep him entertained enough, and Akira thinks Ryuji feels the same way; its warm and loving and nice.