#which i know is silly to be sad about a vtuber leaving

[sandersinabox]

Guh feeling so down

[mrmcwigglyman]

A letter to E-Sekai

Rare semi-serious post because E-Sekai's first anniversary is tomorrow.

Hopefully this breaches Tumblr containment because I don't use any other social media.

When E-Sekai first debuted, I was at a really bad time in my life. For context, I went to college in late August, and for two months, I was slowly destroying my mental health because I wanted to stay, but couldn't handle it. I continued to sink deeper and deeper into depression until my mom came to take me home in late October. During the first months of my return, I was so dejected that I didn't want to do anything. I wasted all my time doing unproductive things on the computer, relying on it for comfort. My parents intervened and restricted access to my computer. Without my computer for comfort, I turned to watching VTubers on my phone, to the point of staying up all night trying to distract myself from the sadness of having to leave college. It was really unhealthy and non-sustainable, but I couldn't get myself to do anything else.

Almost exactly one month later, I found a debut compilation for Idol-EN's first generation, called E-Sekai. I was immediately interested, so I found their channels and subscribed to all of them. I especially liked Rin, for various reasons which I'll get to later, but I enjoyed watching everyone. Their streams got me to come out of my shell online. Before E-Sekai, I didn't use the YouTube account on my phone for chatting or commenting at all, because I didn't have a channel linked to it, but E-Sekai convinced me to make a channel so I could chat. One of the things about small to medium-sized VTuber agencies is that the streamers are more likely to see your comment as an individual. Whenever I got someone to laugh with one of my jokes, it made my day. E-Sekai made me want to be creative again. They got me through the grueling late nights of working at my coat check job. And they helped me try to get out of my depression. I actually know and interact with people on the Idol discord, and I discovered a lot more VTuber agencies because Idol gave me confidence to chat in many other VTubers' chats.

My life is still not perfect. I'm really anxious about any sort of change to my routine, such as getting a normal job, and I need to get better at taking care of myself. But E-Sekai and Idol in general still brings a lot of happiness to my life.

I want to take the rest of this post to say how each individual member of E-Sekai contributed to my life, and the group as a whole. I'm not good at writing these kinds of things, and I'm probably missing a bunch of what makes them all so fun to watch, but I hope this captures them well enough.

Yuko: The scream from her debut was ear-piercingly beautiful. Her hyperactive personality leads to incredibly fun moments. I'm still amazed by how much she loves her boo bros. She's the perfect blend of lewd, wholesome, and silly. In one of her karaoke streams, she got me to listen to the entirety of "A Little Piece of Heaven", which is my least favorite A7X song. Keep being the most neurodivergent in E-Sekai, Yuko! Wanau :boobropout:

Juna: The eel's art and Live2D streams were super comfy, but also very cursed. I celebrated New Year's along with her, and I still have the art she made for it somewhere. Juna's streams got me through the early parts of my coat check shifts. I love all the inside jokes the fameely has, such as "good riddance", "LIVID", banning Yogurt, and Golden Shower. And speaking of the fameely, they're the friendliest people in the Discord server, and I love to talk to them. Juna actually responded to my comments a lot, which boosted my confidence a lot. Also, one of my favorite moments was during the Seiso Stream when I tried to catch her off guard by asking her to pronounce "Featherstonhaugh." Always remember that it rhymes with "hand saw." Stay LIVID, Juna, and thanks for all the completely sane streams so far.

Rin: Rin is the one that I instantly identified with. She loves making silly powerpoints. She has a very particular taste in video games that I can never find anywhere else. Even before she mentioned she was ace, I could tell she was ace-coded. She has an incredibly broken sense of humor. The first (and currently only) VTuber merch I've ever bought was the skrunkly plush. And I don't really believe in fate, but I had to admit that there was one coincidence that was very convincing. While watching her debut slides, when she was introducing some of her plushies, I learned that I have a very personal connection to the name of one of her plushies. Her streams are incredibly creative and fun. Her powerpoint streams and skit streams are the funniest content I've seen in a long time. Her reactions to things that wouldn't normally be funny makes them funny, which is part of the reason I love the shovelware series so much. I can tell she works so hard behind the scenes to make all those things happen. Even though after the Shortsening her chat is sometimes unbearable to look at, I'm glad that she is a lot of people's first VTuber. I'm proud to call Rin my kami-oshi. Fun fact: The B emoji in my YouTube username, although I've used it before Idol, was specifically chosen for Rin, except now that the emoji is banned in her chat, I can't actually send my membership milestone chats because according to YouTube logic, my username counts as part of the superchat?? I'll probably change it to a small capital B instead someday. Anyway, Rin, I'm glad to be a member of the Princedom, and I'm so happy that you are able to reach so many people. Also, congrats for keeping up the Rin facts for a YEAR! *metal_pipe.mp3* *outro music*

Pochi: Pochi is an absolute gamer. The fact that she doesn't rage very often leads to some very comfy streams, even in frustrating games. She also does some cool themed zatsus, like the pet peeves stream. I enjoy her Minecraft streams a lot, and I actually got back into modded Minecraft because of her. Her redebut was so good and so creative, and I just think her "hello, I am puppy" t-shirt is hilarious. I often leave her streams on in the background because she is just so comfy. Keep doing what you're doing, Pochi! Wäf wäf!

Fuyo: One early series of streams that I enjoyed was Fuyo's Bioshock playthrough. Normally I don't like those kinds of games, but it was actually really interesting. I also remember watching her VTuber cosplay stream while waiting for a doctors appointment that I showed up an hour early for. I still don't know she got away with some of the games she played in the first week after debut. When I was waking up late because I was staying up late, Fuyo streams were what helped me wake up and get out of bed. Also I think I left the Nyan Cat stream on while I slept, which may or may not have been detrimental to my musical health. I look forward to the future, and I hope you are, too, Fuyo. Thank you for giving back my physical wallet, even if you kept the stuff inside.

I'm awful at wording things, but I really wanna thank E-Sekai for helping me out of a deep hole in my life. I know this is probably not gonna get more notes than my fucking Papa Louie Veggie Dog post, but on the offchance this reaches one or all of you... idk I'm all out of words, but I'm looking forward to another year of E-Sekai antics.

I also want to thank the rest of Idol for being just as awesome!