#which i guess the work is the most important thing bc thats what im being paid for + the other uncertainties will fade

[phagodyke]

was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍

[dykedragons]

im sofuckgin tired u guys its unreal

[urf1lterr]

lovesick | pedro pascal [3]

"and on this night and in this light i think im falling, im falling for you."

next chapter: [4] previous chapter: [2] series masterlist

summary: in which a 1975-obsessed film student accidentally falls in love with an older man she can't have.

pairing: actor!pedro x intern!reader

genre: acting world!au, big age-gap!, strangers to friends- maybe lovers?? au | angst, mature, awkward, love- eventually

word count: 5.7k

status: in progress

author's note: in my head i have a certain way this story ends- but thats farrrr from this chapter. i couldn't stop laughing while writing this. i might have to rethink my ending bc i don't wanna make this series looooong. not edited.

Brutal banging on your bedroom door was not how you imagined to be awakened, especially when you were barely endearing maybe four hours of sleep.

Jolting up, you could feel your shoulders begin to ache as your severely tangled hair got stuck on the insides of your shirt. The shades in your room being shut, you had no sunlight whatsoever so you weren't sure what time it was.

Not like you needed to be anywhere important on a Wednesday- not until later anyway. Wednesday's were your arranged day off from school so you made sure to plan something productive to not feel more useless as you already were.

Typically, you were scheduled to work on these days- but we all know how that ended.

Thinking about your unemployment status aggravated you. The same day you were told you were going to be cut was actually your last despite being scheduled for the rest of that remaining week.

Oh how you wish you could say you didn't show up because of your stubbornness.

But frankly you had covid.

Not only did that job fire you, but they gave you a thoughtful farewell gift of a deadly virus to remember them goodbye.

Guess they took their storyline a little too seriously.

However, you did receive a few texts from your old coworkers wishing you well. At first, you wondered if Finn disclosed your personal medical information after you contacted him, but Jules admitted to doing so, swearing she only told Joon with the likelihood someone overheard and the rest was history.

Sadly, you barely talked to Pedro and Bella anymore.

The duo did reach out once they discovered you were sick and Bella would occasionally send you tiktoks at the most randomly times. But again, occasionally.

Pedro, on the other hand, never got back in touch after his 'feel better' text.

You weren't exactly distraught over it, it wasn't like you two made it your mission as friends to go out every day. But the thing was, you still did that when you worked together. Barely seeing him for a few seconds on some days in the past still meant you got to see him, but now you don't.

And strangely you miss him.

You always heard your coworkers discuss how considerate and down to Earth he was whenever they managed to work with him and you agreed. All the stories of him being one of the rarest, mindful human beings were true.

He was always the one spamming you with texts, but the only messages you received now were from your roommate, Joon, or the deals sent by your favorite food places.

But you weren't going to think too much of it. He's an adult, his days are always scheduled with new projects. You can't blame him for not making time for you.

Two weeks later here you were, using your extra free time to your advantage to stay up past midnight watching shows like Hell's Kitchen while eating ramen noodles.

The only con was you had the tendency to wake up late all the time.

Yanking the warm covers off your body, you slowly slip out of bed trying not to hit your desk by how poor your vision was at the moment. Opening your door, you give daggers to the other person behind it. "Is there a reason why you felt attempting to break my door was necessary?"

Jules sheepishly smiled, lightly rubbing the door in remorse before continuing. "I just wanted to remind you about our study date!"

"That's at 11."

"It's 10:32," she replied, pulling her phone out and showing you.

Gasping, you shut the door in her face before searching for clothes to wear. How could you possibly sleep in?

Actually, it was quite easy with American Horror Story having amazing plot twists. You decided to switch up your late night shows every now and then to spice things up.

But you were certain you turned on your alarm the night before. You must have slept through them. Damn, you were turning into Jules.

Quickly running to the bathroom to take a quick shower, you managed to finish the rest of your routine with ten minutes left to spare. You were certainly glad you could always count on the city's nonstop traffic as an excuse for your late arrivals.

Once you were able to catch a cab, which was a tremendous struggle considering your hand signals weren't clear enough to apprehend, Jules and you made it to a coffee shop a few streets away.

Being your designated place to study, you had to introduce Joon to it. He was practically the fifth member of the group, the third one being one of Jules' friend you frequently talked to and the fourth being the one you shared with Joon.

The best part about this cafe would have to be that it was two stories. You guess you could say you used the upstairs room conveniently when it came to debating, definitely not being afraid to raise your voice when your friends believed disagreeing with your opinions was acceptable.

"I didn't know a triple meant three shots of espresso," Joon pulled a disgusted face as Jules and you arrived to your familiar large booth. Sliding right next to him, you saw the coffee he was drinking was extremely dark. "I thought it meant three shots of creamer."

"For a guy who is phenomenally smart, you are phenomenally stupid," you heard your shared friend, Yoongi, comment after looking up from his notes.

The next hour consisted of the five of you centralizing your attention on your individual work before you decided you wanted to buy a coffee as your energy slowly drained away.

Walking down the stairs and placing a swift order, you stood to the side of the counter waiting as they prepared it. Scrolling through your phone to pass the short time, you felt someone near you.

"Hey, covid girl!" you heard a man exclaim, causing you to rush and shush him before the customers begin giving you the eye. "Long time no see."

"Don't expose me like that! I'm negative," you flush, tapping your fingers on your face to cool it down.

"Don't expose me," he clarifies, taking two steps back. "You're the one who's sick."

"Was," you groan, not standing for his teasing this morning. "Stop messing me with me, Nick. I am just a tired, broke college student who can't take anymore mocking in their life."

Nick chuckles, not denying that may be the case. He understands how you're feeling, he was once a student and knows how stressful it can be. Honestly, he can only imagine how tough it is now compared to when he last attended.

Inflation was no joke.

"I take it you're studying?" he eyes the large black frames on your head and the thick headphones around your neck. You only nod, making him laugh. "Very studious I see, it's a shame they let you go even after I told them not to. You could've done our taxes."

Pulling a forced smile, you just raise your right shoulder slightly not really wanting to talk about it much.

"Good thing I am very understanding," you joke.

"Hell, I wouldn't be," he curses, shaking his head briskly. "The least they could've done was offer another position while we left the country."

"When are you guys leaving anyway?'"

He looks up at the ceiling, trying hard to remember the exact date before clapping his hands. "The 3rd of next month."

"Three weeks from now? Are you ready for the cold and the snow?" you laugh as he shakes his head.

"Dealt with it growing up, don't wanna do it again," he groans before a barista calls out his name for his coffee. He excuses himself for a minute, grabbing the coffee along with a few napkins before walking back to you. "Have to get back to filming, they only gave me a half an hour break before we change scenes. Good look in university, kiddo. If you ever need anything you always have my number."

With that, he retreated back outside but not before sending you one final wave. You loathed the fact you missed them, but you had to get over it.

Grabbing your coffee once your name was called, you walked back up the stairs to find your friends staring at their own laptops as if they were going to breakdown in tears any second.

"When I tell you I would rather give up one of kidneys than learn about screenwriting," Jules weeps, pulling her hair in distress. "I just wanna tell people what to do, not write stories."

And that's how your whole study session went, one of you having your own malfunctions for the next few hours before the five of you agreed to end it.

"I am going to get a refill, meet you by the door?" Jules asked as you packed up your school belongings. You nodded, allowing her to walk downstairs with her friend as you stayed behind with the two other boys.

"I need to go to the bathroom," Joon called out as the three of you were making your way down the stairs. "I'll be out in a jiffy."

With that, Yoongi and you were stuck around a large crowd of customers trying to get their coffees in this 5 o'clock chilly evening. And one thing about these customers, they loved to push.

"If one more person hits my arm a brawl will unfold," Yoongi proclaims, making sure to raise his voice a bit to make his point come across. Which did nothing as he was granted another push in his arm in return.

Moving you head towards the exit, you made it clear to Yoongi that you two were better off just waiting outside unless you wanted to continue being compressed by total strangers whose been god knows where.

Feeling Yoongi's loss of touch from your shoulder, you sensed a group of friends rudely crossing between you both in order to make it to the front of the shop.

It amazed you how people had no manners in public places.

"Ah!" you shriek, feeling somebody aimlessly hit your body hard, knocking the wind out of you as you fell on your side.

That was until arms wrapped tightly under your upper arms, barely being able to stop your whole body from touching the ground as you felt you legs lay across the cold floor.

With the strong pair of arms effectively pulling you up, it caused you to slam your body against their unknown chest as the mob of customers didn't seem to die down any time soon.

Trying to find some stability, your eyes widened as your peripheral vision was met with a broad chest that you were too scared to figure discover who it belonged to.

This could either end with you meeting the love of you life or encountering a complete weirdo.

Moving your gaze upwards, you were met with familiar brown eyes that creased slightly as a gentle smile was released.

Okay, the second option was indeed your answer.

"Pedro? You fucking scared me!" you pushed him away, slapping his chest as he whined in response, clutching it in pain. "I was going to grab my pepper spray!"

"I see you're still satan," he glared as you crossed your arms. "No 'thank you for saving my severely mentally mad life from the mass of people who could've stamped over me'?"

Expressing an infuriated expression as he scared you, you begin to walk away from him but he quickly pulls you back into his arms and stares down at you. "Why are you leaving?"

"My friends are outside," you declare as he peers over the crowd to see who you were talking about.

He glances back down at you before pushing you straight by your waist, causing you to trust his guidance as he directed you backwards until you were against one of the walls to avoid being crushed again.

"Wait, my friends-"

"You wear glasses?" he slightly grasps the frames propped on your face, generating a strike from you. "What a dweeb you are."

"Isn't this a question you can ask through text?" you remark, causing him to purse his lips at how mediocre you were being.

"Oh come on, kid! I haven't seen you in weeks, it's my right to ask questions," he defends, giving you a staggering look as you sighed.

"And my glasses were the first thing that came to mind? Very clever."

"Would you rather me ask why we say 'cool' when it's not really cold?"

Studying his face in pure boredom, you set out to march past him but he pushes your shoulders back again, forcing you to stay put. "Sorry! Just trying to lighten the mood."

Scanning past him, you tried to locate your friends but to no luck they were absent. Glancing back up at him, you take a deep breath. "I really have to go before they leave me stranded a-."

"I can take you home," he instantly speaks up. "I know where you live remember."

Laughing, you disagree with his proposal. You arrived with Jules, you were leaving with her. But you were curious as to why he hasn't left you alone. It surely couldn't be just to chat about corny jokes-

Actually, you've had many of those conversions in the past.

"Is there a reason why you aren't letting me escape?" you blurt out, making him tilt his head suspiciously, trying to figure out what you were speculating.

His body language became edgy as he motioned his palm out in front of you. "I just so happened to drop by for some coffee and ended up being tackled by you," he confessed, making you scoff. "We haven't talked for some time, I wanted to check up and see how you were doing."

"I am as happy as a clam," you let out a radiant smile, making him squint his eyes and direct them to the side.

"English, please?" he pleaded.

"It means I am very happy," you respond, standing up straighter as he questioned you longer with his eyes as if he didn't believe a single word you were saying. "Everybody knows that expression."

"They really don't," he denies, giving you an awkward smile by your strange dialogue. "Anywho, I've been wanting to talk to you."

"Then why didn't you call?" you accidentally spit out, shutting your mouth as you grasped how bitter it came out.

He caught onto the sound of your tone, registering how unhappy you must've been for abandoning you friendship after strongly bonding for two months.

But he couldn't let you believe he did it on purpose, he had a reason. One that he was finally going to disclose after fighting battles until it was finally approved. "I was preoccupied with something else, I really am sorry," he apologized. "But I was going to reach out today."

Uncomfortably shrugging, you don't put too much thought into it. You didn't want him to assume you were upset, but you had a feeling he could sense it by how tense you were becoming.

"For what?"

He looked around before averting his eyes back to your own, grinning widely. "So I think there's a chance you'd be able to get your internship back."

Standing up straighter, you stared at him dumbfounded. What the hell was he talking about?

"How? They already terminated our useless contracts," you argue. "Why hassle making another one."

"Work for me," he ignores your sour tone, getting straight to the point.

This was why he didn't have time to communicate. Too busy trying to find ways to convince his own boss to keep you, it led to him being in a bad mood after failing each attempt.

He couldn't talk to you knowing his plan went wrong.

After the constant begging, whines, and even going out of his way to format a ridiculous petition as to why you should stay, which centers all interns because he didn't want to throw himself under the bus for you- the main producer eventually gave in.

"You want me to work for you here when you're leaving the country in a few weeks?" you narrow your eyes, confused as to how that was going to work out in the end.

"I was going to sneak you into my suitcase."

"What in the world are you rambling about?" you exhaled sharply.

Pedro grinned brightly as he held onto your shoulders again, "Come with us to Canada."

"No," you quickly answer, not even processing fully but you knew it could never happen.

There was no possible way you could ever go through with this. For one, you can't even leave the country. You parents were so strict they'll probably smuggle drugs in your luggage so you'll be gunned down and locked into the country.

Second, well there really isn't another reason- your parents were enough.

"Oh come on," he whined. "It'll be great! You'll gain so much experience like you've been wanting. Plus, you'd do more hands-on work with the film crew. Think of it as a student exchange program."

"That's literally not what a student exchange program is."

"Stop rejecting the idea. You go to school here, yeah? I assume you're taking classes online because you basically lived at the studio," he implied and you slowly nodded. "We can adjust your schedule to where you'd have time to work and focus on school."

Silently looking to the table nearby, you began digesting what he was going on about. It wasn't a bad idea, but it wasn't an easy one either. "My parents would never let me."

"Give me their number and I'll convince them," he persuades and you sway you head. You wanted to laugh in his face if he really believed he could make your parents agree.

"No," you fight back, watching him exhale loudly by how restrained you were being. "I k-"

"What would Matt Healy do?"

Immediately shutting your mouth, you freeze as he catches you off guard. He did not come to play and knew you well enough to use your weaknesses against you.

He knows Matt Healy would easily agree- that man was literally the devil's spawn.

And god, you just knew Matt would be disappointed in you if you didn't go.

Curse you and your infatuation over this short English man.

Luckily, your thoughts disappeared as you felt a tap on your arm. Looking up, you see Yoongi breathing heavily as Pedro eyes him, unsure if you knew him.

"There you are, I've been looking for you everywhere! My god the lecture your friend gave me about losing you-" he groaned, shivering. "-I was certain she was gonna file a police report."

Slowly averting his eyes to the older man beside you, Yoongi's face fills with curiosity. "Hey, aren't you that one guy from that Netflix show..." he stops, looking up as he tried hard remembering the name. "Narcos!"

Pedro's eyes shoot open as he tries to innocently stretch his body, purposely blocking your view of him, "No." Secretly waving his palm across his neck, he sends Yoongi daggers to keep quiet. Stiffly turning to you, he becomes flustered. "But don't watch that show."

Raising a brow, you decide to drop the random topic and focus your attention back to your friend until you heard another person shriek. The three of you searching to where it came from, you find Namjoon stumble between people, trying his hardest not to fall face first on the floor.

"A jiffy later and I'm back," Joon winks once he's released from the mass.

Pedro scrunches his face. "Jiffy?"

Joon breaks out into smiles once he notices who was with Yoongi and you. "Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Did you miss us that much?"

"I don't think it was you he missed," Yoongi muttered, making Pedro send him a questionable glance and Joon tilt his head, not sure what he meant.

Wanting to leave this now weirder conversation, you step forward and grab onto Yoongi's shoulder. "Let's go, I wanna breathe." Turning your attention back to Pedro, he swiftly moved his eyes from your hand to your own. "Text me if you need anything else."

"Only you," he sends you a cheeky smile making you blush by how nice he was being. Yoongi glanced at the two of you, dazed as what you two were implying.

Staring at him, you waited for him to say his farewells first so everybody could leave already. Waiting for one, you never received anything but his quiet stance and gaze stuck on you.

It felt strange not feeling the strength to walk away- not even the strength but the need to go anymore as you couldn't take your eyes off him. It also wasn't only you as he couldn't help but bear comfort from the sight of you.

It felt like the both of you were interacting to each other in your minds.

"Are you having a staring contest?" Joon questioned, making your your consciousness come back to life as you looked back at him. Pedro's gaze weakened, but they were still on you as yours was unfortunately long forgotten.

"No," you laughed, now gripping onto Yoongi harder. "But seriously, let's get out of here. See you whenever, Pedro."

Watching as you stayed close to your guy friends in hopes of being secured through the populated room, he sighed to himself. He was sure your friends might confess their own intuitions to you and perceive him as a creep.

The sad part was he knew why your particular friend would have his suspicions. He never knew his age would have that much of an effect, but he never hung out with people that young before unless it was for a project.

Shaking these thoughts away from his head, he chuckled to himself. He shouldn't care about what other people thought, the two of you never engaged in anything but friendly encounters.

He just despised his gut feeling as if he was doing something wrong. People are making him feel this way, that was guaranteed.

But he feels awful how he keeps trying to find ways to see you, too embarrassed to think about the things he done just to see you for not even a minute.

He's just never had a friend like you before. It was nice.

"I can't believe he's offering us a job like that!" Jules exclaimed as Joon and you nodded. Yoongi lived in the opposite direction so he made his departure a few minutes ago as well as her friend. "I can't go."

Widening your eyes, you stared at her. "What? Why?"

She laughs before pointing at herself. "You think I'll be able to properly manage school and work in another country? I barely did that these last two months- I'll just be partying it up at hockey games eating gravy with fries."

"You mean poutine," Joon corrected.

"Same thing," she rolled her eyes. "All I'm saying is, being home made me realize how much I love sleeping. I would rather give that up when I graduate and actually have a real adult job."

She did have a point, she really enjoyed her naps.

"I'll consider it," Joon spoke up, putting his hands inside his hoodie as the three of you continued walking. "Doesn't sound too bad, it'll look good on resumes."

Smiling, you nodded. You weren't sure why you even dared to be happy about this when you were the one wanting nothing to do with the idea not even a half an hour ago.

You just knew your lord was giving you a disapproving glare from the clouds.

Within the next 20 minutes, Joon went his separate way home as Jules and you arrived in front of your shared apartment. Rushing to the bathroom, your roommate excused herself for the next hour for her 'needed' relaxation.

In other words, a bubble bath.

Turning on the tv, you sat down on the couch swiping through boring news channels until you decided to switch to Netflix. You still had to make time for Evan Peters before the night ended.

Clicking on the current season you were on, Freak Show, you began thinking about how massive Evan Peter's hands were. How can his girlfriends survive.

The thought freaked you out, this really was a freak show.

Soon, the next episode began featuring Twisty the clown more and you were terrified by how huge he was. He could crush you with a flick of his fingers.

Knocks on your door alarmed you, making you slightly jump and look towards the bathroom. Your roommate's music was softly playing in the background meaning she probably couldn't hear the blows on the door.

Slowly standing up, you grab the bat you keep near the door, in case someone tries viciously murdering you in your doorway, and go on your tiptoes to see what kind of stranger needed to pay a visit in the middle of the night.

Well, it wasn't even 7 o'clock in the evening yet but you get the point.

Gasping at the sight presented through your little peep hole, you promptly unlock the handles before extending the large door wide. "And why exactly are you here? Miss me that much?" you tease.

Not receiving an answer, you scoff. "Are you really giving me the silent treatment? You're hurting my feelings."

When he didn't react to that either, you felt your face drop. Slowly striding towards him, you notice his head was low as he stared at his shoes. Placing your right palm softly on his left shoulder, you felt him glance up.

Did something happen during your short time apart? Was he in trouble?

Knowing it was really you in front of him, Pedro lunged his body onto yours before you could stop and think about what was happening. Colliding his lips upon yours, you felt your thoughts drift away as he steadily moved forward and made his way inside your warm apartment.

Stopping to swiftly shut the door, you had no time to take in a full breathe before his mouth found yours again. Clutching the back of his head, probably pulling his hair out, you groan as his nails claw your exposed waist, your shirt slowly inching up more and more as the seconds went up. Slipping his tongue inside you, you felt the way his nose hit yours as dominance took over.

He wanted to control all of you.

It wasn't until your legs began wobbling from the long standing when his hands lost your waist, instantly making contact with the back of your thighs, squeezing them, soon allowing them to suffocate his sides. Following his lead, you pull your lips back before diving them to the corner of his jaw as he groaned, walking to god knows where.

You figured out where once you shrieked as your back made contact with your couch, his palms widening your legs in a hurry before situating himself on top of you. Surprisingly, the difference of weight wasn't an issue as he clinged harder against you, moving his hand behind your neck to pull it down, making sure to make you feel the pain of the slight hair tugging.

"What are y-" you softly choke, voice coming out in whimpers as he ignored you. Latching his lips to the top of your chin, he stuck his tongue out, dragging it gradually down your neck as your back arched, needing to feel closer to him if that was even possible. Your wish was his command as he hastily pressed himself against you, making you groan in surprise.

Making his way lower, he passes your neck down to your chest while his hands found their to your collarbone, smoothly rubbing the area up and down before clutching onto it harshly as he continue down his path. Something about the way his soft fingertips applying pressure near your neck as his lips kept kissing the rest of your body had you in wonders. You couldn't believe this was happening.

It wasn't until you felt his mouth near your exposed waist that made you completely lose it. You had long forgotten that Jules was in the room next door when you gasped, feeling his teeth swipe against your skin. "Shhh," he whispered against your lips as a way to silence you. "Don't want to let your friend know I'm here now, do we?"

You could only stammer shaky sounds as he planted a few more deep kisses, slowly pulling away and feeling the wetness of both your mouths descend down. He gave you one last dark gaze before returning his mouth on yours, loving the feeling of the dampness between your faces.

His mouth opening wider, he began intensively tasting you, swiping his tongue around your lips as you tried to keep up with his eagerness. Not giving you much time to catch his pace, you could feel how wet he was making you.

No, he was literally drowning your face.

Pulling back, you squint your eyes and take a few seconds to adjust to the poor lighting in your living room. You were met with dark, green eyes.

Lady Gaga.

Shrieking, you grab the black, green-eyed demon on top of you and throw her off, causing her to let out a loud hiss with the immediate sounds of footsteps following afterwards.

"Lady Gaga!" you hear Jules squeal in her pink robe, wrapping the nauseating cat in her arms before turning to you, giving you a look of rage. "Did you throw her?!"

"She licked me!"

Jules scoffed harshly before hurling a nearby pillow at you, allowing it to hit your face in full force before stomping back to her door and violently slamming it shut.

You fucking hated that cat.

Laying back against the couch, you rubbed your red face in humiliation. Not only did you have an intense dream about Pedro but you're pretty sure you just had a full on make-out session with a cat.

Groaning, you couldn't believe what was happening to you. Why would you dream about him-

No- why would you have one doing not so child friendly activities?!

You just know you'll never be able to face him with a straight face, too embarrassed to even be near him now without thinking about this moment.

It wasn't even like you thought about him in that way- you didn't.

Maybe your time of the month was approaching or you were in desperate need of a date because there's no way any normal human being would fantasize over some older man that way.

Okay, maybe it was possible.

But that was definitely not you...even though you just did. Although, you did see the comparison between him and Lady Gaga.

They looked kind of alike- right? Same whiskers.

One thing that was certain was you were never going to tell anybody about this. If people believed for one second you had feelings for him, which you don't, you'll never hear the end of it.

He was not your type nor close to your age. It would never happen.

Sighing, you close your eyes and silently send out a prayer to not engage in another session with the demonic cat. Maybe sleep will make you think clearly once awoken and abolish all these wild concepts floating through your head.

But once you were actually awoken, your mind still wasn't clear- or maybe it was because the pounding on your door ultimately pulled you from your slumber.

Stretching your arms, you scratch the top of your head as you try to open your eyes but it was no use, you were way too tired to fully engage with anybody right now.

Completely avoiding looking through the peep hole, which was a red flag on your part, you swing the door open to find a man who looked like Pedro standing on the other side of it.

Groaning aloud, you slap yourself as he takes this by surprised, not sure why you just did that.

How are you having another dream about him? Was this the bad luck needed after scoring tickets to your favorite band? Is this some kind of sick revenge someone has against you?

Pointing at Lady Gaga, who was dressed up as Pedro, you rudely spit out the words needed to be said. "You are just a cat. Nothing happened between us."

With that, you step back inside, ignoring Lady Gaga's attempts of trying to gain your attention by waving their arms in front of you. Making your way to your room, you see Jules walk out of hers.

"Who was that at the door?" she questions, hearing another round of knocks appear.

You tiredly wave your hand in nonsense, denying that thought. "It was Lady Gaga, go back to bed."

Jules sends you a bewildered look as you enter your bedroom and face-plant on your cozy bed, allowing sleep to reel you back in. Turning her head, she looks at Lady Gaga who was sitting casually by her bedroom door.

"She is turning fucking nuts," she whispers to herself before swiftly opening the door to reveal a very confused Pedro. "What's up?"

Pedro's concerned face takes over his actions as he jumps to his eager questions. "Is y/n okay? She thought I was a cat."

Jules shrugs, rubbing her eyes with her palm. "Who knows, I think she's getting over her coffee hangover."

Pedro carefully nods, still skeptical as to what happened to you. What did you mean nothing happened between you two? Did something happen that he wasn't aware of?

Were you hiding something from him?

Gracelessly gesturing his leave, Pedro walked quickly down the hall as Jules stood there for a moment too tired to comprehend why he paid the apartment a visit this early in the morning. The sun was barely out, why did he come?

After shutting the door and taking a seat on the couch, she laid back and stared at the ceiling. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but for some reason a strange intellect emerged out of nowhere.

She shrugged it off, instantaneously knocking out, too exhausted to conquer her suspicions.

+

taglist: @thesapphirequeen @floralsightings @wrathofcats

[crguang]

Okay sat, I might’ve forgotten to my anon mark at the end of my last message aand I’ve reread part 4 like 5 times, but still, 

what the fuck, literally was thinking abt it in all my classes. And I will be yapping, as I guessed.

First of all, fuck Kafka really wish I was tbh she is so annoying, like just assuming r isn’t that upset, like they’re just having a little argument when r is grappling w the fact that they fell for a criminal, and literally killed their coworkers and a ton of other people, she is pissing me off. Also the stuff abt Kafka and her nihilism…giving me some thoughts. Btw have himeko and Kafka encountered each other in this, or has Himeko just heard abt her? And shes so nice, calling r everyday and being so understanding…

I can’t imagine what Kafka did when she found out she got blocked. Her going to text u and then realizing she’s blocked…kafka pausing when she sees that r blocked her. Kafka waiting to get unblocked as she orders gifts for u, who keeps checking her phone for messages from u as she sends more gifts, reminiscing abt when your first met in the store, silver wolf and blade noticing how Kafka seems to be waiting for smth, Kafka who decides to text you on an encrypted number to see how you’re doing, Kafka who sees that she isn’t forgiven and orders so many fucking flowers bc she didn’t know ur favorite. Ugh I can imagine her bringing all of them into r’s house, god she’s pathetic, I need to kiss her so bad so she shuts the fuck up.

anyway I may or may not have started writing a Kafka fic 👀 tbh I don’t rlly read romance novels so idk how the typical academic rivals thing usually works, trope wise. For some reason I keep fixating on her fucking nails. Like to me, she has them manicured all fancy, but Im fairly certain shorter not manicured nails are better for fingering. On her violin ofc, obviously. I played cello middle and high school, and I kept them long, bc I liked scratching people don’t ask I was a strange kid, but I feel like she’d keep them short bc she’s rlly serious abt it. Also Kafka is so dislikable, her ego is so big, and she’s always calm, like if she didn’t look like she was trying and still top of the class it’d piss me off too 😭

Also in the wardence event rn, I haven’t played it bc I’ve been sleeping or smth like that, but silver wolf shows up 😭 like ik it makes the most sense, since she has holograms but Kafka showed up as a hologram once ok 😭 but what silver said is like “i heard u we’re joining the wardence, and two whose names I won’t mention insisted I go check on you. Why couldn’t they do it themselves.” Ugh Kafka is so obvious it’s actually gonna kill me. And yes wtf couldn’t Kafka have showed up, she’s worth like 11 billion, so ik she can’t show up all the but cmon. 

-🌠

hehfjfjgjfjfj posting a new chapter and having ppl go “man fuck kafka” is funny as hell because honestly, yeah, fuck her😭 i think it was important for me to portray how her personality can be irritating in certain contexts and how being with her really wouldn’t be bliss all the time cause she doesn’t deal with emotions much, and that includes others’. she’s not totally detached from them which is why she does try but it’s very clumsy. it’ll be elaborated on in the next part but in her mind she really has picked the best outcome here and even if she was acting in her own interest, she was protecting R, she’s just an information hoarder. being on the opposite side means you dont know wtf is going on in her head and cant explain her behavior as anything else but “she doesn’t give a shit about me”. it’s an interesting situation to write that’s for sure but im glad that her efforts, though genuine, make yall feel irritated bc thats the point hehe

what i wrote about kafka’s nihilism was not entirely true, and i did it on purpose because R doesn’t know her. i do think that nihilism/finality creates a certain distance between her and accountability. when you tell yourself that this outcome was always a possibility, that it could have happened anyway, the choice you make is no longer fully yours which means that the consequences aren’t fully on your shoulders as well. i think that makes it easier for the stellaron hunters to do what they do, that and the goal they’re working towards that is supposedly the best outcome for humanity. but kafka is anything but passive. she is not “subjected” to things, she has an active role in her future and the ones of the millions of people that it touches within the constraints of destiny. i think with nihilism it’s easy to fall into a state of learned helplessness, where you suffer through the things happening to you because “nothing matters” and “it was going to happen anyway”, but kafka is not like that at all. “if destiny doesn’t propel me forward, i’ll be the one to push destiny”— this is what she does, so describing her as a drop in the ocean isnt entirely accurate because she’s making waves. R will learn that

himeko and kafka have crossed paths canonically before the trailblazer so it’s the same in this. i like that himeko has an opinion of kafka that has been cemented through their brief meetings over the time. in that one “keeping up with star rail” where kafka’s kit is presented, hime has a lot of shit to say about her 😭 all bad. she’s also aware that kafka plays mind games in it so really for her to hear “kafka manipulated me” was like “fork found in kitchen” there’s no surprise there. one of my favorite qualities in hime is her understanding and ability to understand multiple perspectives at once, it develops her already deep empathy and its just very admirable. shes a very soft character, i love her

AND YESSSSS SHE DEFINITELY REACTED LIKE THAT TO BEING BLOCKED HDJFJFKKG she stared at her phone like “oh. they’re really mad” and decided to give them a few days to cool off which is why she sent the first gift and after that she’d be wondering whether to text you or not for like a week; would open her phone, type in your number, pause for ten seconds then go “they’re probably still upset” and send another gift. silver wolf would be like “damn youre on your phone as often as i am. whats wrong with you” and firefly’s eventually the one telling her to go there herself to apologize and not wtv tf shes doing which is why kafka finally texts 😭 shes funny asf. the sheer ridiculousness of ordering hundreds of flowers and taking over half an hour to place them inside your apartment (that she technically broke into) to surprise you is so patheticcccc i would have swooned a bit im sorry. like omg youre pathetic get out of my house but also kiss me before you go… “forget it i’ll just get all of them” can she die 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

aaaaa im glad you have time to write the academic rivals au!! typically people have the rivals work together in some sort of assigned group project to force them to interact together but you can go about it differently, like one of them’s practicing for a big piece and the other gets to the practice room too late but but the others are taken and they have to practice the same thing anyway so might as well. or the mc is struggling and kafka happens to pass by and give her some (snarky) pointers which turns into her showing her how its done and the mc actually learning from her (which would make me homicidal). they could also just happen to meet outside of the school context and start developing a new relationship that way. do what feels right!! and yeah, kafka’s nonchalance makes it seem like shes effortlessly good when in reality she takes that shit seriously and practices often😭 it’d still piss me off tho idc

silver wolf showed up in the other event and its just so ridiculous how they always have her everywhere man😭 like fine she’s always keeping up with new games coming out and shit but would it kill them to show kafka once im gonna tear my hair out, we even got to text firefly during the wardance like im gonna screammmm. but kafka and her sending SW to check ip on the tb is so stupid they care so bad😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 typical of kafka not to show or text herself i need to strangle her. the lufou hates her tho so it’s WHATEVER.

[filmnoirsbian]

I have a question and lmk if its out of line or if you dont wanna answer it thats fine, but basically im a professional artist in the field of fine arts, and as such i have over time learned what makes art "good". I can like or not like it, but usually, im at least able to come up with a defendable opinion on why it is contextually bad art or good art, or rather, whether or not a given artist is 'good' at what they do. With poetry tho, while i (like everyone i think) journal recreationally, i really have trouble identifying whether either my own poems or other peoples are good. Like. This came to mind esp after your rupi kaur post, bc ur right, i dont like her, but i cannot for the life of me articulatw WHY i think its bad. Anyway tldr i guess how can you tell? What are some markers of good vs bad poetry ? (Especially technically speaking) i think these 2 things are similar bc with art too a lot of ppl will be like "ohhh its all relative" but like there are actual markers ofskill and well executed intent, and for fine arts i tend to know them (stuff like influence/filiation, taking into acct the viewers experience, intentionality of creative choices.....) but with poetry as a field i just like. Dont have that technical knowledge to talk about my feelings about a poem like i do with art ans i was wondering if u could help

This is a very complicated debate that has been ongoing since the birth of art and literature. I think it can be difficult for some people to allow that a piece of art (in this case, this includes poetry) can be technically well-crafted while not effecting them emotionally, and that a piece of art can effect them emotionally while being not technically well-crafted. A words app poem that you see which is filled with typos and accidental grammatical errors but which touches on a topic deeply important to you can make you cry while still needing work in its technical aspects, and that doesn't make it either good or bad as an objective work of art. Likewise, there are plenty of poems I've read which were deftly crafted by talented poets but were ultimately forgettable to me because they did not strike an emotional chord. Their lack of emotional resonance also does not make them good or bad. I think that because art has such a capacity for emotional resonance, it's easy to accept that as the most important criteria for what makes art "good," but I personally don't think that's fair. But to me, good poetry is honest--not autobiographical, but written with intent, some understanding of wordcraft as a medium, and meant to evoke a genuine understanding within the reader. Rupi Kaur is sort of a punching bag at this point, often from people who don't actually write poetry which I'll admit I find frustrating, because most criticism of her works is shallow and dependent on the idea that a poem must make you feel something to be good. That isn't a good basis for art criticism, because what makes you feel something is never guaranteed to make anyone else feel. But to me, what makes Kaur's poetry "bad" (not my preferred term, I'd describe it more as shallow or juvenile) is the lack of honesty. Her work is purposefully scrubbed of any distinction so it can be as widely applicable as possible, and in doing so, her poems become no more genuine or meaningful than the mass-printed fortunes in fortune cookies. And, worst of all, there is no technicality behind her wordcraft to make up for the lack of thematic complexity. Both style and substance are rendered as plain and inoffensive as possible. When an artist creates something, they are putting something of themselves into their work, so the art becomes a contract between the artist and audience. The artist is trusting the audience to genuinely engage with their work, and the audience is trusting that the artist has shared something genuine. Good or bad comes later; that it is something the artist created themselves with intent is the first step. But when art is made only with mass consumption in mind, it becomes stripped down to only the bare ingredients of art; it is art on paper, by definition, but it is not art by intent. It's a tree with no limbs, no leaves, no creatures making a home in it. It's not much better than a telephone pole.

When I judge a poem as good or bad, I look first for complexity, either in narrative or structure. This doesn't mean a poem must be a long-winded sonnet to be good; some of my favorite poems are haikus, and in fact haiku is my favorite poetic form. This is because often I find haikus carry multiple meanings, the poet packing in as much story as they can in such small luggage. Most of all, I just wish would-be critics would use their words; "Rupi Kaur's poetry is bad because it's boring" is not good criticism. Your definition of boring is not someone else's. "Rupi Kaur's poetry is rendered shallow and meaningless by the attention-consumption economy it was bred in and has no intelligent wordplay or articulation to constitute a poem that is at least engaging for the mind to read" is a bit more comprehensive.

[ja3yun]

Maybe I’m naive or maybe it’s the brain rot… but am I being completely delusional in thinking that tumblr is almost 99.999% a fan site that artists (especially kpop idols) do not engage with and probably don’t even have much regard for? Like this is a space for the chronically online. Most people don’t use any of their own personal information/faces/identifiers bc this is not a real place; it’s a black hole. That’s not to say that your work here is insignificant (it’s helped me a lot to escape from everyday anxiety and stress so thank you 🙏) but it's not like you or any other adult writer are writing these stories and then spamming them on Weverse or any other platform where the members are active.

I guess my point is that we the adults that engage in 18+ enhablr are minding our business and keeping the fantasies in fantasy land and then going to work in the real world. Like we do not know Enha for real. Some people apparently don't have jobs or lives, so they send hate to people online and act like they are personally offended on behalf of adult men they don't know and never will. It's giving desperate fan that thinks going to the airport to get an interaction is more sane than staying at home, kicking your feet, and giggling at imagining meeting and knowing the boys in real life (95% of the time as non-idols anyways which is another degree of separation).

I'm sorry for ranting. I'm just a huge believer that fanfic is a very safe and respectful way of engaging in fandom because we leave the real people out of it. We're not screaming inappropriate things and sexually harassing the boys to their faces, which happens way too often. We're engaging in community fan-to-fan which to me strengthens the fandom. There are things we talk about as Engenes that will never make it back to boys and thats okay. What makes fandom fun is not always the direct connection to the artist, it's the community we build because of them.

I hope you and the other amazing writers on this site know how important you are ❤️ thanks for taking your time to write and engage 💐

anon this is so!! you get it exactly. i think a lot of us post here because why tf would enha know this place exists? and its a safe place really bc if you want smut, you come here or go to ao3.

i think hate to writers is so petty bc it is the one form of media you can easily avoid? like to see smut you need to seek it out yknow? i never write in the general tags or post inappropriately, so for people to find my blog must mean they are looking for smthn 💀

hate comes w any platform, esp to creators of any kind so i kinda knew what i was signing up for. some of it kinda makes me go??? like im not making the boys out to be horrible or bullies like i try and write them as nice as i can so some of the hate saying i 'tarnish' their name is so false lmao

thank you anon, i'm sure every writer here appreciates the kind words and also, just the fact that you understand is enough for us

ilysm <33

[odysseys-blood]

ive been having fun looking through the cards on the intimacy page and seeing what all i can understand/intepret from them and i just wanna ramble a bit about each so thats going under the cut (currently i have owyn, delos, xiel, mishe and heigl so just them until i get the others. also a little bit spoilery ofc)

no particular order so starting w/ mishe

his has the most obvious pieces i think. cityscape with a clock tower when he was raised in one after being taken in by his grandfather. books on shelves surrounding him because thats how he preferred to live etc etc. i think the stars in the inner circle could represent the sky that he loved to watch at the top of the tower during the evenings dotted with stars with everything still and calm. * i think what im most interested in is the outer ring (w/ the zodiac symbols) bc it looks a little like a magic circle and might be a nod to where he was originally from also hes got a very calm and neutral pose but i dont think theres much to glean from that

even with how much time has passed and heigl knowing his wife is dead and gone it still looks like hes waiting for her. which is funny considering her name which i have been ao sad about for days. If you didnt know, her name was Laica (which im sure is supposed to be said like laika. yknow the dog that was sent to space on a one way trip) and she left one day (on their anniversary no less) and didnt come home. but hes still there and he looks like hes thinking hard, probably about all the time he missed spending with her in favor of work. theres ofc also the gravestones at the bottom and the candles for a vigil. also did a quick look because i noticed the roses in his hand and scattered around the edges, and 3 (in his hand) can mean "i love you" and 8 (around the borders) can be a symbol of appreciation. also the roses in the border look like theyre on textile and from his backstory laica seemed to enjoy sewing and knitting.

ok from here i have a bit less to say/its a lot less concrete continuing:

owyn's looks the most peaceful to me tbh. out of all of the ones ive seen hes the only one thats smiling and seemingly content. what i will point out though are two things: one being the eagle, which im wondering is just a bird he might know or if its the one that was the messenger between helsinf and whoever it was that was warning him about people pursuing beastmen like owyn, and the other being the flowers in the border. unlike with heigl's theyre kind og hidden behind the border designs which feels to me like it represents his past with experimentation (and from what i can tell it was probably experiments eith the vialis curse). i wonder if he still thinks about it at all

i think the first thing i noticed is just how. empty delos' feels. like its still just as elaborate as the others so i dont mean that it LOOKS empty..but it FEELS like it is. despite how confidently he appears for the most part in the actual story here it looks like hes trying to hide. he doesn't want to be seen and i think its a mix of not wanting to take on his father's duty as the zarketh yet (mix of not feeling worthy of the role as well as feeling that if he takes it then its the same as writing off his father as dead which u see in the current event) plus feeling shame for not being the protector he swore he would be even if nothing that happened to his family is his fault. because at the end of the day he was supposed to be there for them no ifs ands or buts. and while the ocean is an important part of zarcove and a symbol of it i think you could also take it for the feeling of him drowning in his own insecurities and grief and lonliness

i forgot who i saw point it out or if it was on here or twit ill look late but i really didnt notice at first that he isnt smiling. i guess bc it looks so close to his actual sprite and he has a small smile there but it rly is a blink-and-you-miss-it detail i like. honestly to me his feels a bit empty like delos' just instead that "emptiness" is filled w/ a pretty background that screams opulence but like. it means little to him because thats just what he was expected to inherit. honestly while it has a church look to it (which i wouldnt understand much rn how that would fit in anyways i havent unlocked his last room) it does also remind me of a bird cage a little and i wonder if the floating pages have anything to do with all of the books and general entertainment he just couldn't have while growing up

[magnoliamyrrh]

I really hate how trauma effected my art. Ive seen many trauma survivors make beautiful art about survival and growth and other really beautiful stuff while i can only make really gross stuff about destruction and hopelessness. I dont like it. Every time i tried to make lighthearted things it didnt feel sincere.

I saw a movie about a disabled person who had an accepting environment and parents who loved him and everyone who heart him learnt from it and became kind to him and he grew up happily. It was around the time my story was really shapping up and i was even starting to be proud of it. But after watching that movie i felt so gross. That story actually gave hope to people but the only thing people will get from my stories is a small echo of my trauma. My brain is too clpuded by pain in order to create anything else. It makes me feel like a bad person. Did you ever go trough something like this?

heyo dear <3 yea i really do get what youre saying. my best friend some weeks ago was saying i need to put my art and writing and ideas out there and it send me down this same spiral, and its still something im struggling w tbh.. it makes me feel like maybe ive got nothing to add but my hopelessness, dispair, endless entrapment and contemplation of pain and sadness and doomfullness and trauma to this world... at least, most of it seems to be that, or it seems at best a fixation on trying to find some sort of grim, melancholic beauty in the rot. and whats the point, when theres already so much of that in the world..? and its made me feel like a bad person too, bc it just further reminds me im not that "ideal" trauma survivor

but. ive been trying to look at it other ways too. i think theres value in your writing and art if it comes from sincerity, and i think theres value in art which is depressing and doomful if its real and from the soul about it

i think it can provide a comfort for people who are much like you and i, at least, i always found that sort of art did.... if anything, while everyonce in awhile i appreciate a movie like the one youre speaking of, theres also many (most times) when even if i find it sweet, i find it.... harder to connect to, harder to resonate with, harder to care about. its nice and all, but i guess i tend to gravitate twoards art which makes my pain feel understood, seen, like someone else out there gets it, feels it too... and i think there really is just as much importance in that sort of art being out there as there is in that more positive side of it i guess ....... kinda like how i find comfort in even you sending this message, you know? you didnt write me some sort of hopeful thing, and yet, its both nice and sad just knowing someone has had these same thoughts and feelings running through their head and struggles w this too

... and.. maybe it doesnt seem like it to you at times, but i think in the first place writing a story, working on it putting it out there is in and of itself able to give ppl hope. bc its making something out of your pain and trauma, using it in some way, channeling it; hell, managing to get stuff out there despite feeling bad and traumatized - thats something

... and really on top of that, havent so many of the great pieces of literature of this world Been that anyway? doom, melancholy, lements, depression feeling haunted trauma endless problems endless tragedy with seeminly no resolution a general feeling of doom and dispair, clearly heavily influenced by these authors own shit.... and yet, they are read by so many people so many times, for both their artistic quality sure, but their relatabilty and realness too, their rawness, so that we can sit with something which understands. if you feel like your story and your writing is all doom and dispair you wouldn't be the first one for sure; plenty of great writers kept that going for decades

...

you cant and shouldnt force art, it should come from the soul. if right now this is how it is bc youre not feelijg or doing better, then it is how it is and it still has value.... and maybe one day, and i really hope so and wish so for you, you'll be better, yea? you will feel more healed, more hopeful, more at peace, in less pain, less tired deep down. and maybe then, your art will change and reflect what you will be feeling inside moreso, you will be making more of that art which feels more hopeful abt things... but until then, i rly think its still worthwhile and meaningful to keep working on what you've been working on <3 its what ive been trying to tell myself too

[mach1ne-g1rl]

Saw your most recent post on dhmis and tma and I've got opinions to say I believe Computers is an Eye episode because Colin's whole deal is stealing personal info and being smart but its not my strongest I see Jobs as a buried because while it doesn't involve much claustrophobia its more about harmful workplaces and overworking which ties in with the buried in a symbolic sense. I will argue so strongly Death is an End episode. The End is LITERALLY the fear of death smh. While I can see the argument its a Stranger because of Stain Edwards the theme of death is so strong that it isn't that relevant. I see Family as both Stranger and Corruption, Stranger because the whole episode feels very uncanny with the design of the family and set being a "real" place. It's also Corruption because the episode is about toxic family relations. I still cannot believe how you thought Friendship was originally a Vast episode. While I can see why you would assign it Lonely it's clearly a Corruption, it's literally about toxic friendships. Also bugs. Tbh i don't know what to assign to Transport my closest guess is Vast but my argument isn't very strong Electricity is a hard one, I don't think i can assign it to one entity. I think Electracey is a Extinction avatar because she's a robot and the "everything in the home will be plugged in and part of the electric family" line. I could see Charged Yellow being either Eye, Stranger or Extinction. Eye because he's want to find the truth and also green eyes, Stranger because Yellow gets replaced, and Extinction because he gets replaced using specifically technology. The power outage is probably Dark because darkness. Lesley is a Web avatar, I will fight you on this. She's controlling them, she's the literal puppet master. You said that Lesley isn't the main one pulling the string making her less Web aligned but I would argue that makes her MORE web aligned because she's knows she's not fully in control. I interpret becoming a web avatar as not only being manipulative, but accepting your lack of free will. As Annabelle said in 147, "let it never be said that I do not dance the steps I am assigned." Sorry this is long and probably sounds a little rude i just have very strong opinions on tma and dhmis have a lovely day

COmputer being eye was also on my first post but i removed it bc i didnt think it was part of the big Fear factor ? but the way you phrased it does make it work

jobs being buried makes sense too !! my main reason for it being spiral is just Duck calling everything out and then Also going weird ? and then going back to "this is all wrong" very strongly (also the episode is reminiscent of Sculptor's Tool to me with only duck pointing out how this is Odd)

death SHOULD be end ur right , i just didnt think anyone in dhmis seemed very scared of the Death there ? so i thought it wasnt very important but Yeah when you mention it its definitely end ty (Or desolation bc it also feels like . theyre more focused on the grief of losing someone n not the Fear of Death ? if that makes sense=? but i dont rly get the End and Desolation anyway so)

CORRUPTION FOR FAMILY IS SO RIGHT i think i considered corruption for it at one point but i second guessed myself enough to remove it again . and stranger never reallly seemed correct to me but it was the closest and i had no one to discuss with so i ran with it:sob:

IM SORRYY LSITEN OK i hadnt listened to tma in full when i made the first list. i just read the entities wiki page and heard season 5 ..!!!! honestly idk if i agree with corruption bc , while thats probably the deeper meaning of the episode (toxic friends) warren always seemed like just an autistic asshole to me so i never saw the whole . toxic thing ? and he never really actually seemed friends with any of them ?? yea taking advantage of their kindness but i wouldnt call it a toxic relationship bc there never Was a Relationship to me (probably factually wrong n im being ignorant here but its my list and blehh :P im biased towards warren) and im probably just forgetting something bc i havent rewatched it in a while but are there bugs besides warren (are worms bugs)?

transport i assigned Web bc red guy being like . aware of the whole They're Trapped There thing and trying to escape and Lonely bc they're trying to get to other people/ civilization/ community but are just . stuck ? and in some episodes the lonely just takes ppl to endless places that they cant leave (cul-de-sac is the only one i remember) and it just (again) reminded me of that

ELECTRICITY /SHOULLD/ be more than 1 or 2 very true but i just Really hate assigning more than 2 to these idk why ive set that rule for myself but it just feels wrong, disorderly and i dont like it . but yes i can see electracey being extinction (tbh i feel like teachers being avatars/ assinging them patrons/fears could be a whole other list itself) Charged Yellow being stranger i disagree. yes hes replaced but it feels more like . if s1 jon got replaced by s5 jon ? does that make sense ? I HAD DARK For this episode too bc the power outage but it didnt feel like a big fear factor here ? and i just didnt think it was significant enough (the dumb self-imposed rule) Lesley IS web coded i completely forgot annabelle for a second when i made this :sob: ive had too much michael on my mind and i thought being trapped wasnt enough of a theme here ? not like it was in Transport or like Dreams but yea it definitely should be Web

IM GLAD this is long i like hearing other ppls thoughts and input on this silly stuff (it did sound a little rude at times but dw i get it) I think at the end of the day the way we judge these is just Very different? Unless you disagree, i dont think the web series is this "up for debate" as the tv show is bc it just has . Less. There's maybe 3 lines at the start, then the teacher comes in and starts singing about what they embody, then the horrors and the end (only the last 3 episodes rly made me question which Power would be associated with them bc it kinda follows a plot so they could all a little be taken as web and lonely with red guy?) Theres just so many more ways the TV show can be interpreted. These could be judged on the Teacher, the Lesson, the thing that scares the characters, the thing that scares the Audience, symbolism/manifestations, etc. (i think i just went with whatever seemed the most relevant to me / what scared the characters ? but i was also being pretty inconsistent there lmao) i feel like there would probably have to be multiple lists or just one BIG list of everything that could count as one of the entities ? or maybe im blowing this out of proportion and its really simple for you, and only i struggled with this :,) either way it was fun ! and i think thats all that matters maybe the real dhmis tma entities assigning list were the friends we made along the way aww

[notproofread]

so i finished a court of wings an ruin pt.2

let us talk about the men... even though i don't really want to talk about them. for the most part they really disappointed me lol

Tamlin

tamlin is.... trying to be better (at least in the beginning) i guess but there will be no way that he will actually heal & get to move on if not only feyre but lucien as well betray him, use him, destroy him & his court

I was very much interested to see where the story leads him though I had no actual hopes for him to get a redemption arc (which he deserves, I stand by that point argue with the wall)

then he was not trying to do better anymore but now I think he is fully leaning into the villain role which FINALLY gives him the edge that has been missing

because now i see and feel that he has turned his back to prythian because he has really lost EVERYTHING that had importance to him (feyre, lucien, his court, ...). now we can make a good villain out of him, you know?

....

.......

..........

.............

make up your mind tamlin god fucking damn it, im getting tired of your back and forth DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE WOLRD BURN OR DO YOU NOT YOU ARE WORSE THAN ME AND I AM A SUN LIBRA MOON GEMINI

also sorry but how tf did he survive until the end my mans should have died or been killed on so many occasions bruh

Lucien

see this is what I was hoping for after the first and second book, lucien is so cool & such an interesting character especially considering his (still kinda unexplored) backstory

•so WHY is his ONLY character trait now elain??? please there is so much more to him, give me literally anything else

the descriptions of him fitting into the surroundings of the autumn court are so amazing though I am literally in love

i think its cool how he gets to work with the people at the night court and i hope he gets to work more with azriel and maybe rhys especially with things about autumn and spring court

also loved to see his inner feelings regarding elain and jasminda!! that was such a nice detail to show that he is falling (hard) for elain but still feels guilt about his first love (still annoying though)

... great, written off to go find a human queen... guess thats one way to get rid of a character... could've just killed him if you didn't need him bye

Rhysand

rhysand ... why fuck first talk later? war is coming my dude you can get your dick wet later, after you have heard news and planned accordingly???? Im disappointed 100% ew

but nooooo, instead we get this weird horny political talk... am I supposed to enjoy this?

apart from that he was kinda boring

unfiltered thoughts after he "died": i CANT BELIVE CAN NOT BELIEVE that he died AND THEN WAS RESURRECTED THE SAME WAY FEYRE WAS bro that was the most unnecessary scene i have ever read why make me go through all that tension (again bc it happened with feyre before) just to make him come back to life this is so shit i don't know wether to laugh or cry

but tbh i didnt believe for 1 second that he was actually dead, im sorry but there was no way SJM would have the balls to kill of Rhys lol

Tarquin

unrelated but I miss Tarquin he was cool I have a crush on him <3

he is way too good for the other high lords, i'd rather read about him

Cassian

eh... boring at best, annoying at his worst.

bro what the hell why are you so fucking obsessed with nesta YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HER and clearly she is trying to avoid you take a hint (no that is not romantic its creepy and annoying)

like "no means no" also applies to fae or other magical beings leave her A L O N E

he was so cool in the first book but this time it also feels like his only remaining character trait is nesta (giving very much lucien and i hate it) and maybe a bit of fighting/training stuff

Azriel

stays true to his character (at least in the beginning...)

if feyre is going to butt into his love life more I am going to riot, leave the man alone!

only one who actually pays actual attention to elain (yes, not even lucien does this as well as az) & figures her powers out first

also love how he is obv in love with mor but is neither making this his only character trait (looking @ you cassian & lucien) nor doing everything for her. he is NOT changing but staying true to his self i hope this stays the same

......

..........

...............

ah nevermind he just tried to suffocate eris... honestly though I get the like pride & protect my family stuff but arent all of them a bit too easily riled up? all high lords & courts are assholes after all, you guys included. you should know this by now

slay for saving elain

Jurian

now what is this?

wha- why does SJM want to give everyone a redemption so bad (except for tamlin ofc we been knew)

am i really supposed to believe that Jurian has reached clarity after witnessing everything through Amarantha? it was so such a good concept, having a human turn insane and helping those he despised

and (even if its a bad example) would have showed that humans and fae CAN work together after all

all men do is lie. only tarquin slays. bye.

[untilteddocument]

[Image description: A set of Tumblr tags. They read:

"#I think the current design of social media has a lot to do with it personally #the fact of the matter is that more extremely derivative content that confronts fewer challenging themes circulates easier #and a lot of creators are trying to make a buck so if thats the only stuff that gets decent exposure then its the obvious choice #also potentially poorly designed and poorly funded educational systems also factor in bc literary analysis IS a learned skill #and if you're just chasing whatever triggers a strong gut emotional reaction w/o investigating why then once again #romance is an easy grab #this i think also explains the 'fandom ghosts' / 'ship molds' of characters being cast as the same pairing #even against their canon characterization and narrative arcs and thematic associations #you get drawn to a certain dynamic you feel strongly when you see it you want to see it again and you havent analyzed the source so #you dont notice the disparities you just focus on the emotional high of enjoying some romance. you share it. #people who dont know the source can understand it easily and like it too so it gets further reach. so on and so on #boy im talkative in the tags today lol anyways thats just my vague theory i am not a sociologist #and i hope i dont sound like im casting ppl deep in fandom as inherently stupid what i mean to convey is that its a system #supported by the structure of the platform its on to draw you in with easy dopamine which everyone wants anyways #and a lot of people just werent given the chance to pick up the tools for understanding what could be wrong with this #that said if youre stubbornly resisting learning to apply a critical literary lens to anything thats on you lol. grow up #long post"

End description]

--------------------------

Adding my own thoughts here.

So, this is an old post, obviously, but it gave voice to something I hadn't and still haven't been able to stop thinking about.

I think the above bunch of tags has the right of most of it, but I recently saw a post screenshot from @gallusrostromegalus where they note that a lot of fandom is for works that are a specific mix of fun to watch/read and incomplete/loose enough (I'm hesitant to use "bad" as the qualifier because while it's broadly true, it's not all that exact) that people see spaces they can colonize, so to speak, and it got me thinking. Maybe in addition to cheap dopamine and the problems with education systems, that theory kind of contributes, in that engaging with stuff like the MCU or Naruto gives fans one specific approach which doesn't work with something like Squid Game but it's the only tool they have any familiarity with.

Now, I do want to emphasize that I'm not saying there's no room for contextless shipfics and AUs. I'd be a fucking hypocrite if I stood up at the devil's sacrament and denounced shipfics as some sign of the Fall of Rome or whatever given the fan content I tend to consume. It's...

...hm.

I guess the way I'd put it is that art is, at core, an attempt at conversation between the artist and the audience, but while this does mean that the audience has agency, it also means that both sides have to be at least having the same conversation.

Does this mean that the audience has no room for its own input? No, 'course not. That's what Death of the Author means. It means what the author meant to say isn't as important as what they said.

It also means, however, that if a work, for example, says "power doesn't corrupt; power isolates, and isolation corrupts" and the only thing the audience has to say back is that they want the gangly white men to fuck nasty, then there's not much of a conversation happening.

also everyone treating squid game like the latest fandom of the week and making aus and trendy videos and shipping and all that is absolutely missing the point. beyond salvation

[qqtahng]

im going to put some octo2 thoughts here now that i’ve had time to digest it. there will be spoilers

overall i think i liked octo2 as a game more than 1. im sad they (understandably) changed some (kinda broken) mechanics from the first game (sp steal/share on thief and tomahawk nerf..............), but we got some great qol updates, like no more purple chests and the hunter’s monster system got LEAGUES better. all the jobs got more powerful overall despite them nerfing some aspects (i dunno if like a 1.5/1.5 turn kill on galdera was possible in the first game....... insane), the new parts were so fun to use (vengeful blade!!!!!!! arcanist as a whole!!! aaa!!!)

the music and art too oh my goddd. i didnt think it could get better but somehow it DID and i just. its amazing, aesthetically, on all fronts. yasunori nishiki could tell me to kms rn and i would. gladly. for all the work he put into the ost. just, chefs kiss. i dunno what else to say.

love love love the new travelers tho. they’re all very colorful and whlie i do like some more than others (hi tem, hi castti) i cant say i actively dislike any of them. thats not much different from the first game.

the writing was overall more enjoyable than 1 too imo, tho i dont get why they had the split route thing when they had progression recommendations for them anyway and it ended up being like... not much of a choice. the crossed paths were really nice. it would’ve been a Lot of work but i wish we had one for every combination of traveler rip. throne and tems was so good tho, definitely my fave of the bunch.

that aside im not gonna lie, i did not vibe w hikari partitio or agnea’s stories very much.

hikari’s story i think just did not fit the 5 chapter format very well. it felt really rushed to me and like it didnt have much depth to it. it was serviceable but didnt feel exciting to me.

paritio’s was... idk it felt a little repetitive?? hes a funny guy i like him but i think his goals were just a little too mundane and also global to be very interesting. like compare “i wanna get rid of poverty” to “im on a journey to unravel the mystery of who i once was”. like one of those is more intriguing and believable :/

agnea’s just felt way too low stakes compared to everyone else’s. i did see someone point out that the game might’ve felt a little too dark without it, which is... fair?? i guess?? the first game was also pretty dark it just took a little while longer to see compared to like, half the cast having a murder happen in their ch1. anyway, my girl just did not have an interesting story arc. it was all “i wanna be FAMOUS” without very many trials and tribulations tbh. not enough character struggle for me personally.

the final chapter was interesting. it was really cool to see everyone band together narratively to fight vide. mechanically, i also thought vide’s fight was cool as shit. all 8 on the field at once!! wow!! i do think the first game tied everyone in to the Big Bad better tho. bc like, wtf are u doing making fucking *npcs* the relevant ones from agnea and partitio’s stories?? like even in the first game the traveler’s that had weak ties to galdera’s revival were still like... idk it was still *them* and it was formative to their characters?? we have a reason to like graham via alfyn, and a reason as to why hes important via tressa, arguably 2 of the most indirect ties to galdera in 1 imo--graham also inspired alf to save others, and his journal eventually helped tressa learn the value of things that arent contemporarily accepted as treasure. idk i also felt like ori’s personality switch was so last minute. same for tanzy’s backstory tho the tragedy as to why she would follow through makes more sense. neither of them really had any impact on their respective traveler’s character either. like they didnt do anything to change their goals or personality. very weak.

i also dont know wtf was up w that alfred hornburg thing. like hello??? wtf are YOU doing here sir, u have gone and messed up my placing of the game in the series timeline/universe

but yeah. that last little bit of negativity aside, octo2 kinda just does what the first one did but better in most aspects. great game would recommend if u played the first. if the first didnt vibe w u, maybe would rec if u didnt vibe w the first bc the second is less frustrating mechanically.

[galaxyhanart]

You have given me brain rot. I love it

So I was thinking about the Cabinet man and I thought about how the other ninja would be. There is a huge part of the team missing. One of the more physical issues are the golden weapons and the golden ninja, stuff along those lines. Like, Nya could hold the nunchucks but she couldn’t use them. Lloyd could use them but he’s never been trained in lightning. Also, issue with lloyds training. Whomst gonna teach him lighting? Wu? Maybe but it won’t be good. The golden power, another issue. How that gonna exist without a quarter of it’s base ingredients. If the ninja get this far, we can assume work arounds but still, no lightning, no prophecy. Another thing, the Bounty. Jay was the one to build the damn thing first. He got this hunk a pirate wood to fly. Yes, Nya is an engineer but we can assume she can’t jury-rig a fully functional engine out of scrap metal and parts and shove it into a boat and make it work like jay can. Yes she built her suit, but thats different. Thats good hardware and a lab and schematics planned out before hand. The bounty was a semi secret project done in the desert and (judging Jay’s character) was planned on the fly. So no bounty *Smashes skateboard* yet, they probably wait till the need arrises for a flying anything before doing anything. The big thing for me is the team dynamic and how drastically different that would be. The ninja would be so much more closed off and serious and self sacrificial than they are in the show. Jay is such a balancing figure on the team, he’s the one with the most normal reactions to things, he’s the one bringing more levity to darker situations. He brings out the most joy in the bad situations. He’s so important to keep the team balanced. More so, when I look at jay’s relationships, especially early on, I think he was the catalyst for the team becoming friends. When I look at Jay, I can see someone who is easy to make friends with. He’s got tons of hobbies so you’re bound to share at least one and he’s also awkward which would help others see that “im not the only awkward one!!” And help relax people. He’s the one I could see others being friends with first. And this leads into how the others interact with each other. Without Jay, Zane would be more insecure about himself and his differences because Jay wouldn’t be there to help him navigate them. Jay is the one helping Zane with his sense of humour in the beginning. He’s the one who makes the nindroid name to help zane feel still connected. Jay is the one who shows Zane his robotic features can be used beyond protecting, in stupid fun ways, like his pirate voice. He does the pirate voice thing as a prank in possession and Zane uses it in seabound. Zane lets himself be stupid because Jay taught him too.Cole and Kai would be more closed off and serious. Kai would still be acting responsible because he never really got a chance to be a kid. Cole never would have gotten past the protector role he took on. Both would be too lone wolf to really try to make friends. Jay was the one to show both Cole and Kai how to act stupid and have fun. Jay isn’t afraid to fight either of them, whether it be with words or fists so he riles them up and makes them act childish. He breaks down the “im too good for emotions other than brooding” and lets them act their age and be stupid. Nya, without Jay, would never let herself rest until things were perfect. He’s the one who showed her things can be imperfect and still be good. He’s the one who (and you’ll never guess what this point is) showed her she can be stupid, that you can have fun and do dumb things and they’ll still be good. Lloyd would feel like he’s failing everyone around him bc he feels he’s too immature and he can’t fix it. Jay showed him he can be immature and it’s not a failing. If jay can act like a kid than lloyd can act like a kid, no matter how old you are. Yes lots of the things I said were indirectly communicated but it’s still communicated. This turned into a character and relationship study but you get my point. This au is fascinating and I crave more.

HOOO BOY THIS IS SO LONG BUT I LOVE IT

Yeah there'd be a lot of changes to the show and to the characters! I honestly haven't figured out TOO much about how missing an element of creation will impact things, simply because that'd require me to rewrite the entire show up to that point and that's 11 whole seasons so i actually did something to help jay be a bit more involved sooner than he would be!

Changing up the order of the seasons! Basically Prime Empire becomes season 6 and Skybound becomes season 12

Sadly that means Cole isn't a ghost in Skybound which makes me sad bc I love ghost Cole in Skybound but alas sacrifices must be made.

But back to the point about characterizations, the team would definitely lack some of the humor that they do in the show. They're still very close, even without Jay, but they do feel like a piece of the group is missing, even if they can't explain it. They lighten up a lot once Jay joins the group.

Although, JAY is a much different character, too. He's INCREDIBLY lonely and has even worse abandonment issues than he already does in canon. He still plays it off through jokes and stuff, but instead of being bullied for being a junkyard boy he's betrayed and abandoned by his only friend over his powers. It hits even harder AFTER the season ends, because now Jay has to learn about his destiny and his life outside the game. He has to cope with a bunch of different issues now.

I'll figure out the rest of how to fix the prophecy and lloyd's powers. at some point. because rn i'm not sure LMAO

[imustbenuts]

im uh. just going to come in and add 1 thing to all of the points above:

Ylisse, Chrom and Emmeryn are... allegories for modern japan after the shit they pulled in ww2. BOTH ylisse and modern japan are

formerly warmongering counties turned 180* to peaceful

have to wrestle with the sins of their forefathers

are interested in breaking the cycle of hate stemming from said war

does not agree with their prev generations' mongering activities

also: intervening in another countries' politics would make them no different from their former generations' imperialistic or even genocidal conduct

another thing. soldiers are acceptable casualties in war bc technically thats how war works??

and when robin sunk those ships by flinging a flaming ship into them, it's... it's a reference to the Battle of The Red Cliffs, one of the most famous event in Romance of The Three Kingdom. which is a piece of literature thats tremendously important to east asia literature/history. Robin is being referenced to as the genius strategist Zhuge Liang/Kongming here.

so i guess. what im trying to say is

did… did you just fucking american/western white wash a character and country that's an allegory for modern japan????????

I feel Chrom fans are the worst, they often directly put down other protagonists like Lucina, Marth and Dimitri, whilst ignoring or whitewashing Chrom's canonical issues including:

Never apologizing for his father's crusade against Plegia and attempted religious genocide of the Grimleal, to the point he acts like Ylisse was the "real" victim and that neither Plegia nor the Grimleal has no right being upset at Ylisse.

Chrom makes sure to only recruit the white Plegians and never shows disapproval of prejudice against the Grimleal even when its shown by his own retainer, Frederick.

Making the already ravaged Plegia pay for everything after the war, than abandoning the country letting another tyrant take over. He even admits 2 years after Gangrel's father, he never found out what happened to Gangrel or whom succeeded him which is grotesquely negligent for a King.

When Robin kills one thousand transport ships filled "stem to stern" with Walhart's troops, Chrom is ecstatic rather than showing any respect to this huge loss of human life. Necessary or not, human life should be respected. Its made worse as its clarified THe valm empire forces citizens to become soldiers, including Virion's Rosseane and Say'ri's Chonsin.

In the Japanese version, Chrom canonically hangs around a homophobe (Old Hubba) and kills an effeminate gay man/possible transwoman (Excellus), indicating homophobic and transphobic views.

The fact that he's always remorseful when he faces women also indicates that he has has sexist beliefs too. It doesn't help that every woman Chrom fights is shown as brainwashed by a wicked man (Aversa) or just trapped by love (Pheros), because no women could oppose the towering paragon of Machismo that is Chrom.

Chrom ultimately allies with unrepentant Walhart whom shared his father's desire to invade Plegia and commit religious genocide, further showcasing he learnt positively nothing from his father's actions.

Chrom tells Aversa "One person's life means nothing in the shadow of millions" when she tries to avenge Validar due to being brainwashed, as no woman could ever willingly care about men, our hero Chrom hates, only for Chrom hypocritically try to prevent Robin from sacrificing themselves to kill Grima, willing to sacrifice the world for Robin.

Yet despite all this, Chrom is lauded as a great king and lovable Himbo, all whilst characters like:

Marth get called a crybaby or "generic Disney Prince" that is only popular because he's from the first game and nostalgic losers from Japan can't get enough of him.

Lucina is said to be to be popular only because she's a a waifu that people "want to fuck".

Dimitri is treated as "White Man" or a "Fascist" whom "murders women", when he showed more concern and humanity towards Duscur than Chrom ever did to Plegia as well as treating both sexes equally and not hanging around heteronormative crusaders (Hubba again).

And yes, this is character hate towards Chrom, he's massively overrated by the fandom and gets passes for what other characters would be crucified for.

.

[oliviamillss]

reading dreams chart

im only going to use up to orb 3, for stronger accuracy lmao

**if you can’t be bothered to read it all, theres a summary paragraph at the bottom**

sun:

sun in 7th: strong emphasis on relationships. tends to copy others lingo/habits. extroverted. probably ‘needs’ others. only really shows his true self around his close friends/family/partners. 

sun at 19 degrees: a libra degree. (emphasis on this bc libra rules 7h), makes him a very charming, likeable, particularly popular guy.

sun opposite ascendant: inner conflict, probably doesn’t feel like people see him for his true self, may struggle showing true self. may feel misunderstood. may need approval/validation a lot.

sun square mars: hints to daddy issues. may struggle with a lot of built up anger and frustration, but it seems like he takes it out very positively, as you can see he is competitive, so i think he lets it out through gaming. probably very energetic, motivated.

sun square saturn: high expectations for himself. probably the type of person to think ‘i’m only good enough if i do this’. probably very hard on himself. also probably very insecure of himself, but doesn’t show it. another sun square masculine planet, more hinting to daddy issues.

moon:

moon in 7th: probably relies on close friends/family/partners a lot. loves to help people, esp people he’s close with (kinda mr beast vibes). probably very like ‘oh shit, he’s sad, i need to do everything within my power to cheer him up’ if that makes sense lmao

moon in virgo: looking after people!!! esp with the sun square saturn,, high expectations. probably a very much perfectionist, which also explains why he is competitive. may ‘always need to be right’. but virgo moons are actually so lovely omfg

moon at 9 degrees: sagittarius degree, likes to help people by optimism, and giving things to the person that they would want (im aware that sounds obvious lmao). probably feels a sense of achievement when cheers them up.

moon square pluto: probably hard time dealing with and growing from negative things that have happened, possibly struggles with letting things go. possibly self destructive (why did that one heatwaves part come to mind), possible trust issues + anxiety, probably very particular about who he lets close into his life, maybe quite protective. 

mercury:

mercury in 6th: likes to help people, probably not disappointed if he spends his time working with someone, may struggle with anxiety/depression. a quick learner, probably overthink every word because it wast the ‘perfect’ thing to say. 

mercury in leo: funny asf, and out there, also thinks his ideas/things to respond and say are the best, with the 6h and 7h placements, he is open to listen to others, but in the end he only really wants his one lmfao, good with conversation.

mercury at 1 degree: aries degree, another fire placement which emphasises the loud, out there kinda vibes.

mercury trine mc: career and reputation are strongly linked with what he says. (this is obv bc hes famous lmao). he’s smart, particularly with technology and its linked to his career. *im aware this sounds like im just describing him, this is exact so thats why its overly accurate*

mercury opposite neptune: daydreamer, probably has a lot of thoughts and ideas in his head, but they just dont come across right. probably zones out, may struggle with focusing. but very creative, has big and creative ideas. i havent mentioned it before but its come up too many times now, but he has a lot of placements, when manifested badly, creates a good manipulator

mercury square jupiter: optimistic, possibly thinks his ideas are the best (we’ve covered that before), can be really overly talkative or just nothing at all. (i rlly dont know much about this placement)

venus:

venus in 7th: he will have a beautiful relationship with his future partner. charming asfff, probably a good flirt. tends to love love. needs to be liked, sort of a pleaser. 

venus in virgo: the type of person to remember everything about the people he cares about. loves to help the people he cares about. probably sees the people he truly loves as ‘perfect’, which may end up being really bad if they’re toxic. 

venus in retrograde: struggles feeling loved, possibly feels like he doesn’t deserve love. probably the type to be like ‘how could you ever love me?’

venus square mc: attract people who take care of him. either has self-esteem issues, or is quite a dependant person. creative. may struggle finding people who support his career, or may have to change a few things about himself to be liked by others. 

venus trine jupiter: very likeable, and he’s veryyy lucky. he’s funny, and a generous person, probably very giving to his close friends and family. charismatic asfff, likely he will marry someone foreign. 

mars:

mars in 9th: more things hinting to attract(ing/ed to) foreigners. loves experiencing things with people he cares about. likes to learn more and more, possibly stubborn, makes sure his opinions are known.

mars in scorpio: that boy needs privacy in his life, doesn’t like being predictable. probably an overthinker. we’ve already known this but he’s definitely a top. probably could get anyone he wants, seductive asfff. also pretty spiteful.

mars at 17 degrees: leo degree, fame bitchesss

mars square ascendant: hates to lose, competitive. people may be intimidated by him at first, can’t really hide anger, pretty stubborn.

mars opposite saturn: really hard on himself. wants to be the best of the best, leader. stands up for himself. another placement hinting to daddy issues. harsh about his work, and himself in general, perfectionist. 

mars square uranus: anger may change a lot, a lot of energy, probably struggles to focus, doesn’t like to be the one who is being controlled/has restrictions. probably struggles with authority. outbursts of anger.

jupiter

jupiter in 3rd house: loves writing, and is actually pretty good at it. knows how to talk to people, how to persuade them, and how to manipulate them. good liar, knows how to sell his wants across, how to get what he wants.

jupiter at 4 degrees: cancer degree, cancer rules his 6h. he uses his luck/money to help others.

jupiter square neptune: big dreams, desire to escape the world as it is.

saturn:

saturn in 3rd: afraid of/ is often misunderstood. struggles to open up?, maybe he wasn’t listened to much growing up. hard on himself academically, feels like he isn’t smart enough. hard time expressing himself. maybe feels like noone really cares for what he has to say?

saturn at 16 degrees: cancer degree. idk what else to say abt it lmaoo

saturn square ascendant: quite serious, maybe struggle with the way he looks? possibly quite overwhelmed about his life,, feels like he has too much to do at times. fear of rejectionnn

saturn square uranus: maybe he doesn’t like change, tradition v change clashing. authority troubles. probably needs freedom, but feels unstable without what he’s used to. rebelling against norms. 

uranus: 

uranus in 12th: probably very curious about unexplainable things, maybe quite into conspiracy theories. two complete ends of the spectrum: fear change/need it, unpredictable things happen/ everythings the same. 

uranus at 14 degrees: taurus. taurus ruling 2nd, i guess it shows change in dream’s wealth.

uranus opposite north node (and conj south node): with exceptions, doesn’t like conflict. he is fine with joke conflict, but the second there’s an actual argument he tries to be the ‘peacemaker’ guy. technology is major in his life. also quite nervous about his career/future. 

neptune:

neptune in 12th: awful sleep schedule. overworking himself, never relaxing. vivid dreams. once again, this has come up loads and i just haven’t mentioned it: intuitive asf, george is the same. whether either are aware of it or not, they are super intuitive.

neptune at 2 degrees: taurus degree.

neptune sextile mc: creative, also likes helping others, empathy to the public. has big dreams career wise. 

pluto:

pluto in 10th: determined person, gets a lot of hate, but also a lot of love. trust issues, persuasion/manipulative abilities. leader leader leader. another hint to daddy issues, maybe privacy invading, maybe overprotective. don’t want to be controlled.

north node:

north node in 6th: overwork himself. but i think we can interpret this as his life goal to be working to help people. literally mr beast. just work hard, and give a lot away. humble.

chiron:

chiron in 9th: possible restriction from either his or his communities beliefs/religions. maybe he’s afraid of leaving where he is right now (sapnap moving to orlando, whenever its brought up its always george coming to orlando)

lilith:

lilith in sagittarius: need for truth. dislikes restrictions. hides emotions, uses humour to avoid them/ make people think they’re okay when they’re not. stubborn asf. 

lilith in 10th: tend to be sexualised/ reputations for being sexual. another placement hinting to daddy issues. really wants to be at the top, the most powerful. likes using his dominance/ power to seduce. motivateddd.

lilith conjunct pluto (exact omfg): typical ‘mystery’ guy. probably the mystery/scorpio vibes he pulls off attracts/ seduces people. the most dominant partner ever. sex is probably so intense and overwhelming

moon square lilith: possible mummy issues. his need for sex can change quick asf, from one end of the scale to another. struggles to open up. 

 i ought to mention!!

there’s a theory that the degree of your venus sign is the birthday of someone who is v important in your life. what’s dreams you may ask? 1. and when are george and sapnap’s birthdays? the 1st. they’re soulmates, your honour.

summary!!!

basically, dream has so much care and love for his friends and family, and probably relies on them a lot. he only shows his true self around them, and he (at least thinks) people don’t really understand him in the way his friends and family do. he is a social person, who’s very likeable and charming. he lovesss helping people, doing everything in his power to cheer others up, he remembers details about the people he loves. he is such a perfectionist, needing to succeed and win and everything, and is very competitive. he probably doesn’t think he’s ‘worthy’ if he’s bad at something. he sets very high expectations for himself. he is very hard on himself. if he wants to, he knows how to manipulate people. he has so so many placements for an amazing manipulator. he may struggle to express himself or open up, and may be hard on himself academically. maybe he doesn’t feel ‘listened to’. a lot of emotions like anger and sex drive may change rapidly for him. he over works himself a lot. a major theme in his life is tradition vs change. he is probably afraid of change, or finds it uncomfortable, or he may have some sort of attachment to traditional values/things, no matter how much he wants to change. he is also a peacemaker. he was born to be loved or hated, kinda like marmite but if the balance was more equal. he doesn’t like restrictions. he uses humour to hide his emotions.

im also thinking of doing a synastry reading between george and dream but idk yet lol

hope you guys enjoyed, this took ages lmao<3

[fullonfandomindulgence]

unfortunately in my heart of hearts i think if one had stronger anatomy skills hed do more fanservice. i em very sorry for this thought. but... cmon. you feel me

i always kinda liked the (few) traditional fanservice situations in the one-illustrated stuff bc it removed any visual titillation for the reader. the narrative seemed to be trying to communicate that those moments were kinda gross and embarrassing, as they would be in real life for the women and girls being leered at.

but the murata adaptation of one punch man, my god. i mean i appreciate the bits where the men are sexualized too, but cmon. not exactly the same diversity of fits and bodytypes. that one frikken ninja character whos all swathed in these badass loose robes and then she gets slashed at and all her clothes fall off.

and really looking at the tatsumaki vs saitama fight in the original one punch man, when her skirt's going all over the place you coulda just made her bottoms black. just not defined them against the rest of her outfit, which is already just a big black shape. it probably woulda looked cooler. but instead theyre white in like this uncritical perpetuation of the trope, no one in-story comments or seems to notice, just the idea that we can see her underwear is supposed to be the titillating thing i guess, despite that being out of tone with the rest of the scene.

i love that the kids in mob psycho are allowed to be kids without the art leering at them, but i have the uneasy feeling that there might be more leering if one had the technical chops for it. and thats kind of a silly thing to think about, like thats not whats on the page, and more than that one so rarely puts characters in situations for fanservice to even happen. like the utter lack of anything happening between tome and origo in the reigen manga is so so good. generally ones stories are almost sexless. but still, every once in a while, that uneasy feeling comes back up. idk! idk.

tbh i dont watch a lot of anime, i know this shit is small potatoes compared to the dreck that gets put out by some people, probably the whole mob psycho crew deserves credit for not falling into those common tropes. but think its important to allow discussion of this stuff. i fukken love mob psycho and i have a lot of respect for one as an artist but that doesnt mean i think hes a perfect smol creacher or that the work is beyond criticism. i mean fucking puri puri prisoner??? fucking disgusting, just the most regressive-ass stereotype, miss me so hard with that shit. and darkshine? the dude in claw with the lips??

thats a harsh note to end on but it needs be said. anyway. would love to hear other ppls takes on this, idk, im just Really Into mob psycho, and i like engaging with it even in ways that dont cast the work in positive lights. does any of what im saying even make sense? who am i to say. but cmon! you feel me??