#sorry if the alternating typing quirks are confusing btw i rlly am shifting around between mika n neige here djghkdf

[marionettou]

Greetings! I apologize if this ask is sudden and invasive, do not feel presided to answer of you don't feel like it :D!

But, if I may ask, do you have any kin memories of Neige? May you share some? Thank you in advance!!

eh ?? omg wow i feel like i never get asks like these aaaa dont be sorry fer nothin , yer good !! i LOVE talkin abt this stuff (ㅅ´ ˘ `) ⋆˚࿔ LOTS of text under the cut dfkjhdgkjf

well i know fer sure i overblotted at some point. fer sure after vi did. it wasnt rlly a Conscious choice to overblot. it came on slowly n kinda ate me at my very lowest point. i didnt even notice rlly ;; (ᵕ—ᴗ—) had a lil bit to do with the fact that vi did genuinely hate me enough to wanna hurt me which i. knew. technically. i know vil did Actually manage to poison me but it wasnt to Kill me. it rlly did just put me into a deep sleep that made my heartbeat VERY very slow so i COULDVE died if he wanted me to.. not sure what happened 2 me after !! but it was just another smaller thing that wouldnt have bothered me otherwise if i wasnt already so upset. bein upset made it worse at the time cuz i was dealin with unrequited feelings n also feelin like i didnt rlly. have a right to feel that way in the first place ? that n gettin rlly rlly overwhelmed by the idea of losin ppl i care abt or failing to help them when theyre in trouble. these thoughts n concerns are also abt vi bc he overblotted n was suffering fr a long time. the idea that he couldve died rlly set me into a paranoid state that eventually lead to overblottin im pretty sure. id be losin someone i cared about the most. then i couldnt take care of anyone !! then i couldnt make anyone happy anymore. id try, but i dont think i could. a trait of mine that seems ta be prominent is a genuine phobia of death . . . (which is funny cuz my overblot form is if snow white was never woken up. perfectly preserved but smth is Wrong.) but im still learnin stuff abt that specific thing !! but it was all very. pmmm witches. if that makes sense. overblotting is a much more dramatic n serious thing than it is in canon. it takes a lot of work to get out of, even out of the overblotted form itself. it keeps u at a tipping point fer months n yer emotionally stunted n regressed along with it. i know my vi barely made it out of it n suffered big time after the fact. he was very. Not Himself. im sure i mustve taken care of him at some point but i cant quite remember. similarly to how oshisan was after exvalkyrie fell apart. (IF you enstars. <- assumption) i still don't know if i ever made it out myself !! i sure remember how it felt real well. it feels like fallin backwards in a chair but yer Stuck in that state while experiencing every lonely neglected feeling youve felt As u felt it in that moment all at once. n not just that !! in my case i was pretty much trapped in every calm or happy moment ive ever experienced. sounds nice but it stops bein nice when yer me n miss the past a lot. overblots bc of triggered phobia of loss + being alone. vi and i used to be very close childhood friends in my eyes !! vi absolutely never thought so (according to him), so i guess im a lil canon compliant that way. and ive always had a huge crush on him !! but i didnt know thats what it was until way later . . . ive always been obsessed with the idea of love n being loved so because vi was the kindest to me (and understood me the closest) i attached 2 him real bad cuz i wanted to be like him !! he was always very gentle and kind when he was younger. i was too , or i tried to be, but i always wanted to be the sort of person he was. i was and am obsessed with him n how wonderful he is.

also one thing i wanted/want more than anything is love n care !! i am OBSESSED with love. giving it , getting it , losing it , being hurt by it , its all important. its one of my most favorite things in the world !! it hurts a LOT sometimes but its basically what i live to experience n give to others !! ✧｡٩(ˊᗜˋ )و✧*｡every experience with it is precious. thats what i'll never start to dislike or hate vi over the way he feels abt me bc no matter what he's always thinking of me the most n thats a very special type of love ~ (ꈍᴗꈍ)♡ besides, i do kinda like bein thought of violently. not a lot of ppl think id look prettier coughin up blood n clutchin my throat.. yk ? ^^ vi is very important to me bc ive always wanted his love and attention the most.

also i !! love rook !! so much !! he seemed to enjoy admiring me at a distance . . . but sometimes i'd pamper him with a little attention like going out on short little dates together privately and id send him free exclusive merch and id send him supportive text messages or recipes sometimes. >w< i trusted him a lot but i usually just pretended i didnt notice him stalking me so he could do as he liked djgdhkjf i think he was probably the first to notice smth was wrong with me before the overblot thing,, not sure if we ended up closer yet !!

im sure my canon unique magic is gonna be exclusive to animal communication but for me bein able to commune with animals was just a passive skill !! my unique magic was shapeshifting !! ⋆˚࿔ only woodland creatures tho !! couldnt be just anything. but i do wonder if i had a secondary unique magic or a spell specific to being able to imbue things like food or my singing voice with love potion/magic sorts of properties . . . cuz that feels familiar Somewhere. not sure yet. sometimes memories arent 100% accurate or remembered as clearly as they end up bein later on with kins that dont have enough lore yet. so some of these experiences could change or become a better understood view of the way i felt or what i experienced which might mean i know more abt a situation than i *did* and feel a little differently about it. but this is how i remember things currently ! aside what I've written here im very canon compliant. ^^ thank ya so much fer yer question ~ i love questions n i love sourcemates so feel free to ask more anytime !! (๑'ᵕ'๑)⸝*