#which granted yes i am a bitter messi fan but after what they did to xavi it seems everyone is walking up to it

[dilfssi]

i try to avoid talking about my own personal feelings on barcelona as a club because i do hold the club very close to my heart for a lot of different reasons that doesn’t include the awful politics at play there, but it does amuse me that people are shocked that laporta is lying about the club’s financial situation and forcing players out because of it

[hanhan156]

Hanhan’s October writing challenge: Rammstein Halloween pt #8

I have no idea how I ended up making up a story about Richard and Paul being Sherlock and John from this prompt, but here we go!

I think the October challenge is going to be for me October-November challenge while - believe it or not - I happen to have another life besides writing as well and some days, I just don't have the energy to come up with any new stories. For me, it's most important to publish stuff I actually like even though it might take some more time than expected.

But yeah, enough rambling and let's go to the story. ^^ Enjoy!

The prompt: After hearing about an abandoned house in the neighborhood that was supposedly the scene of a gruesome crime years earlier, the character and a friend or two decide to explore the property.

-

#8: The best detectives of Berlin

“A 55-year-old woman has just been found dead from an abandoned house in the outskirts of Berlin. Police are investigating, but no signs of crime have been found yet…”

“Just some old hag who had forgotten to take her medicine. I’m bored already.”

Paul sighed and put the newspaper away. “Just to remind you that the ‘old hag’ is almost the same age as us.”

“Whatever.” Richard didn’t want to admit to himself that he was middle-aged already. In his mind, he wanted to stay in his twenties forever. He absolutely loved how much it annoyed his partner when he acted like a teenage diva on purpose - like now when he kept doing his favorite activities: throwing daggers at a portrait of Till Lindemann, the chief police officer he loved to hate, and smoking home-grown tobacco. Paul was constantly worried that the bitter smell would never vanish from their apartment.

Occasionally, the dagger hit the wall instead of the picture. “For heaven’s sake, Reesh! You know very well what Frau Schneider has said about ruining her apartment. What if we are kicked out?”

But Richard didn’t listen to his partner - as always, he kept doing what he wanted.

Luckily, Paul knew his cocky partner already so well that he had learned how to have his attention. Even though there was a slight risk to be stabbed by a dagger, he insolently sat on Richard’s lap and dumped his cigarette. “So, do you want to talk to me now?” he said and cupped his lover’s cheeks.

Richard hated how Paul always managed to dominate him. “What is it now, Paulchen?” he asked and tried his best to sound innocent.

“I think we should take a look in that house and figure out what has actually happened. I have a feeling that there is something fishy in this case.”

Richard raised an eyebrow. “To go to that ancient shack to prove that the old lady just went crazy and died of a drug overdose? No thanks.”

“Reesh, you are visibly bored to death. This is your chance to shine again. Admit that you love the attention.”

“I’m not bored! Couldn’t you see how busy I was before you interrupted me?”

Paul sighed. “I mean that you need a case to solve. Your brain is rotting here while you spend the whole day in your bathrobe, doing bizarre experiments in your microwave and throwing daggers at Lindemann’s face.” He took his partner’s hand in his own. “You’re like an animal in a cage. Please, let’s go together to investigate this, for the old times’ sake.”

Scheisse, now I know what this all is about… “That freaking Lindemann has asked for your help and you didn’t tell me anything.” He turned his head and mumbled: “His team is full of idiots, so no wonder they can never solve anything without me.”

“You should be flattered that they are at least still asking for your help even though you treat them like an ass!”

Richard looked at his partner’s begging eyes - he knew he had lost this battle already. Verdammt. “Okay, let’s fucking do it then, but I’m not doing it for the police, I’m doing it just for you.”

“Wunderbar!” Paul exclaimed and leaned forward to meet his partner’s lips.

The sweet kissing moment ended too soon when their landlady, Frau Schneider, broke in the flat. She always came without prior warning - in her opinion, it was her right to come and go as she wanted in her own house, even though there were tenants living there nowadays.

“Boys, come downstairs to have bratwurst and beer!” she shouted from the door and then, her gaze moved to the ruined wall. “Gott im Himmel, what have you done to my apartment again?”

“It was Richard,” Paul answered and got a piercing look from his partner.

The floor creaked ominously when Paul was running to keep up the pace of his partner who was visibly having the time of his life while investigating the eerie, wrecked house.

“So, have you found any clues yet?”

“What do you think? Of course, I have.”

Paul stopped at his place. “Would you mind to tell me about them, so I could know what is going on here.”

“Just look around you, they are obvious. Even a kid could see them.”

“Es tut mir leid, but just to remind you that not everybody has the superbrain of yours, so could you kindly explain to me.”

“I’ll tell you later, let’s keep investigating. The game is on.”

They made their way upstairs and Paul tried his best not to step on the shattered glass scattered everywhere. What in bloody hell has happened here? Poor lady…

In the living room, Richard rushed immediately next to a dark spot on the floor and pointed at it. “The corpse was lying here.” He crouched and put his nose in the spot.

“Seriously, do you really have to smell everything? There has been a dead person just a couple of days ago! Have some manners…”

“Of course you have to use all the senses you have!” Even though how much I love you, I just don’t get how simple-minded you really are sometimes…

And even worse was coming when Richard wiped the bloodstains of the spot with his bare hands and licked his fingers.

“Reesh, that’s enough! Have you ever happened to hear about blood-borne diseases like hepatitis, HIV…”

The detective turned to his partner and said with an impassive voice: “I know very well you are a doctor but that doesn’t make you any smarter, mein Liebling.”

“You dumbass, of course, I didn’t try to sound smart! I just don’t want you to get a fatal disease, for heaven’s sake.”

“Enough of this nonsense, let’s continue. We have a job to do.”

They stepped into the bathroom. Richard investigated the toilet seat, wiping something gross from it when his partner didn’t see.

“Reesh, you should take a look at this…” Paul said when he saw what was written - apparently, with somebody’s blood - inside the shower cubicle.

MEIN HERREN, EVEN THOUGH HOW CLEVER YOU THINK YOU ARE, I’M AFRAID YOU HAVE BEEN WRONG THIS WHOLE TIME. TAKE A SECOND LOOK AND YOU WILL BE GRANTED WITH SURPRISES…

-FOREVER YOURS, CFL-

“W-what on earth is that? And who the hell is CFL?” Does he have a secret, murderous lover somewhere who wants to avenge?

“I have no idea, but it’s fascinating indeed,” the detective managed to say before they both startled to death when they heard a loud rattle behind them. Paul took his pistol from the holster.

In no time, they saw what had made the noise: it had been a tall, slender man in a tuxedo, now blocking the bathroom door. “Ah, Guten Abend, Herren Kruspe und Landers!” The man with messy black hair had a gun in his hand and something - which looked like hand grenades - on his belt. “My warmest welcomes!” He stepped closer and took Richard’s hand, looking at him straight in the eyes. “I am a huge fan of your work Herr Kruspe and I’m glad to see you are back!”

Paul stuttered: “W-who are you and w-what d-do you want from us?” The pistol was trembling in his hand but he did his best to protect his partner. “Reesh, why is he acting like you two know each other?”

“Brilliant, just brilliant,” Richard said unexpectedly to the intruder and they grinned at each other like partners in crime.

“W-what the hell? This g-guy with a gun and grenades just broke in and you think it’s…brilliant?!”

Richard turned to his lover. “Yes! Finally some challenges. I can’t wait to hear what he wants from us.”

This is really just a game for him? “You can’t be fucking serious…”

The intruder got impatient and raised his gun, pointing at them both now. “Enough bullshit, let’s go back to business, shall we?” The grin on his face didn’t fade and Paul was sure he must be a lunatic. “We are playing with my rules now, so in case you want to stay alive, you must listen carefully and obey.”

[burningyetbeautifuldaydreams]

Host Of The Toast

Capitulo Dos

Warnings- Cursing/Swearing, a lot of facts about Crofters

Summary- Thankfully the crazy unknown voice isn’t an asshole and gives Logan some choice on how to run today’s episode and the show is actually a talk show for once

Authors Note- Welp this was uh, well I want to inform all the facts that were used was all taken from the official Crofter's website, yes that's an actual website and it's quite the treasure, it had information that I thought only logan, a die-hard lover of crofters will memorize. But the thing of Logan saying he wasn't a huge fan of pomegranate was just a personal headcanon. I am not a huge fan of pomegranate. I encourage you to check out the Crofter's Official website, (Not sponsored).

Logan sat patiently in his chair, glasses illuminating against the spotlight, a cup of sweet coffee in his hand,  his legs crossed comfortably, as he wore a purple necktie today. His signature shirt freshly cleaned with the scent of blueberries.

Welcome to Host of the Toast!

The speaker announces loudly, as the lights illuminated the stage to brighten the sight of Logan who had the same focused smile on his face, the dull brown eyes showed a sign of fear as his seat shifted toward where the audience would be. The paper that once said Game! is replaced by a whole script mentioning crofters a bit too many times, speaking of the delicious jelly (not sponsored) a whole box of it sat on his desk all neatly placed. The refreshing jelly that only belonged in Logan's belly gave Logan a certainty of no more madness, but hey were in episode two, we are not gonna stop the madness here.

With our host Logan who is alone today!!

for now.

"Greetings, I'm logan sanders, your host for the day and this show was thankfully made after our recent crofters' sponsorship." his eyes glimmered after taking a sip of his coffee, the new energy driving through his veins every sip, gives his dull robotic eyes a bit of emotion in them. Isn't our host so lively this morning, you can see him as bright as gold! Well, today I have decided to let the man run the show instead, just for today though. Logan sighs a breath of relief as he hears the unknown voice grant him free from the madness for now. Keyword, for now. He decides to cherish this moment with a spoon of crofters, a spoon meaning the whole entire thing.

"Well now, lets finally make this show a talk show," his eyes glimmered with an idea in his mind. One he used to do all the time with roman, in the mind palace after they discovered they both have some common ground. "Perhaps we shall talk about the greatest jelly in the world," his eyes brighten up again, as he takes another sip, still in the same position as before. I hope you guys are ready for a bore fest! the voice teased, as Logan scoffed, there is nothing boring about crofters.

As he took a spoon of crofters, his eyes lit up thrilled with excitable energy as the logical trait glanced at the pile of papers filled with writing, "how should I begin? perhaps with the smooth yet sweet texture, its a nice combination. Sweet and Thrilling, compared to the normal texture of jam, rugged and smooth. The small bitter aftertaste.." This was just the beginning.

Logan Sanders couldn't stop himself from speaking more about his one true love, crofters. The comment from the speaker didn't process through Logan's head as he began on talking about the process of how the jam was made. Oh was he in love with the jam? he is probably gay for crofters. What am I saying? He is totally gay for crofters. Yup, he is gay for crofters, as the man went high in depth on how the jelly was made.  

"The company carefully selects their fruit to make sure the jam has a splendid taste. One example of this is the Strawberry, there is a flattering variety. The Camarosa is a Medium-sized firmer berry with a strong and powerful aroma, Its dark pink hue contributes to its Jams color quite well. The taste is strongly sweet, which is one of the main reasons why the flavor is so wonderful. The Camarosa strawberry originated from Turkey. The Wild Blueberry is one of the only fruits grown in Canada as the others originate in Europe and one grows in Brazil"- the logical trait smiled eagerly, as his eyes sparkled energized by the crofters he just finished, grabbing another one, it was coincidentally Wild Blueberry-" The wild Blueberry only grows naturally where nature places them, so the Boreal forest and the climate of Quebec is the perfect place for these little berries to thrive. These little berries are filled with antioxidants as its flavor is sweet yet mild. A perfect balance of flavor if you ask me" The jam-loving man spun his black chair as he took a few more spoon fulls of Wild blueberry, as his eyes dazzled again, full of energy as if his worries vanished as he focused on one of his favorite things in the world. But if you look at it closely. his eyes still showed some worries, as he never moved out of his seat, not once at all while he talked. He must be suspicious that the narrator wasn't telling the truth, after last episode's traumatic experience. This is absolutely boring the narrator yawned.  Logan grabbed another crofter's jam.

 "Up next on fruit, The Cacanska Bestrna Blackberries come from Serbia, where many wonderful fruits have grown for hundreds of years. In the Crofters website, it is described to have an out-of-the-world taste and they are proud to say they also allow families to continue living happily in the Rolling South Serbian mountains, but they also describe the taste to be Tartly sweet. Truly a new kind of taste certainly, but I had tried them before and they're taste was a thrill to taste, truly a great fruit for a jam." The man with glasses stopped his little ramble as he had finished yet another jam, his chair squeaked as he leaned to grab another jam, the Organic Black Currant jam with a vibrant green lid. The man opened the jar hearing a nice little pop as he licked his lips ready to eat this jam. "The Black Currant, coming from Poland, It is often mistaken for grapes yet their flavors are very distinct to one another, this fruit leans more to tartly sweet. Their taste is quite new, and I'm personally not a big fan but it is quite good. Black Currants are known to be quite healthy as they offer antioxidants, Anthocyanins, and they are an excellent source of fiber and Vitamin C." Logan spoke out firmly, his face was a little messy to be fair, he did just eat four crofters in a row, while he talked. Ah for being the logical trait, that wasn't really smart at all. He licked off the lips, feeling some crofters on his face, he grabs a white handkerchief with a light blue heart on it. He uses the handkerchief to wipe off the jam around his face. Now his face slightly clean, he goes to eat another jam this one being, Concord Grape.

"The Concord Grape, a classic fruit known by most people. This fruit originates in America, first developed in Concord, MA about 160 years ago, its popularity grew quickly. Over 400,000 tons are harvested every year, this fruit hits the flavor of the jam well, and is a great bright sweet flavor and it gives the jam its luscious purple color." Logan informed as he was still at half of the jam, preparing to speak more he hears some bouncy footsteps behind him, he averts his attention behind him. There stands a familiar friend of his, curly purple dyed hair as some of his brown roots are still there, as his black round glasses were almost identical to Logan, he wore a gray cat onesie given by the logical trait, even though it was afternoon.

"Hi, Lolo!" Patton giggled, swaying his arms around, his blue eyes glimmered with faked innocence. "Hey Patton," Logan sighed relieved that it wasn't a trick from the narrator it was just Patton. All sides can come into the show whenever they please it is a part of the mind palace after all.  "What brings you here?" He asked looking at the moral side, as he smiled warmingly at the logical trait, swaying his arms around and around. His presence definitely gave the area a warm and comfortable feeling. "I heard you were talking about Crofters, so I just wanted to stop by and I made your favorite" Patton sang as he revealed, a small basket of jelly stuffed cookies, all having a messy design of the famous Crofters bear. Logan made a quiet surprised gasp as the bag was shown to him,  his eyes practically light up as constellations glow on his cheeks. His excitement about this surprise has seemed to summon his dotted adorable freckles. They illuminated brightly as Patton giggled placing the small basket in Logan's pale hands, as his excitement showed greatly.

Soon the excited boy noticed he was out of his serious stance, he cleared his throat as his constellation freckles lost their bright light, "Thank you, Patton." He said firmly, trying to calm his excitement but his freckles still shone on his face. His dull eyes still had some sparkles but they slowly died. "No problemo," Patton giggled, his blue adorable eyes were wide as he was a little hesitant to ask, "Say, Can I hear some of your knowledge 'bout Crofters?" Logan looked a little surprised, at Patton's question but then smiled warmly. "Of Course," he said sincerely as Patton smiled eagerly, he wasn't sure what terms he had with Logan anymore, but he seemed to be kinder to usual.  

"Yay!" Patton giggled, skipping closer to Logan as he leaned his head on the chair Logan sat. He smiled warmly at Logan letting him know he's ready to listen. So then Logan smiled hesitantly back and started to talk more about his one true love, Crofters. Both looked happy around each other's company, as Patton listened patiently to Logan's rambles, even if he did a mistake or two on the facts, he just smiled and admired the logical trait.

------------------------------------------

END

Welp this was uh, well I want to inform all the facts that were used was all taken from the official Crofter's website, yes that's an actual website and it's quite the treasure, it had information that I thought only logan, a die-hard lover of crofters will memorize. But the thing of Logan saying he wasn't a huge fan of pomegranate was just a personal headcanon. I am not a huge fan of pomegranate. I encourage you to check out the Crofter's Official website, (Not sponsored).

[gameruler]

Ok but Shadowhunters Harry potter au where:

The Lightwoods are a fine lineage of pure Gryffindors, and then it's the first day of class comes and Alec and Jace are so excited to go and be roommates and try for the quidditch team (Alecs is not THAT big of sports fan, but Jace is so he will give it a try) and they stand proudly when their names are called and it all comes down when the hat touches Alecs hair and not even gull 2 minutes after screams “SLYTHERIN”.

And the poor kids is devastated and sad and confuse, and it doesn’t help that JACE went to Gryffindor.  Alec tries to take deep breaths and calm down but he can barely see in front of him, thinking about how disappointed his parents will be. Jace tries to calm him down later, saying it will be alright, that is not that big of a deal. But it is and it doesn’t get alright. As a matter of fact, it gets worse when on the very next year Isabelle runs up to the very same hat and Alec can only close his eyes, his breath stuck in his throat, as in less than half of a minute it screams the title of the red and gold house.

BONUS FOR THE EXTRA PAIN: When the boys come back for the winter holidays, Alec finds his room to be almost completely blank. Sure his books are still there, and the very few art pieces he used to have hanging on his wall are still there but every single thing with the colours of Gryffindor is gone, including a painting of a golden lion he used to have above his bed. His room had been decorated with the colours of the house since he was young. Alec knew he would have to take them down when he got home and it would be sad but coming back to nothing was even more painful. His hearts shatters when Izzy tells him their mother went on a major freak out when she found out, tearing apart the boys decor and throwing it away. 

It’s not all bad, Alec has to admit to himself after a while. Here, where he is not constantly being watched with disapproval eyes, the guilt is not so bad. And it is pleasant to have housemates that share his same approval on rules, the importance of future, selective loyalty and tradition. Jace and Izzy would roll their eyes at him most times he started talking about any of those toppings really, but here he found people willing to listen to him. He finds friendship in a boy, one year older than him. Magnus is his name. Alec likes him, he knows a lot, is very well read and has travelled a good part of the world. One day during third year Alec asks him why is he not a Ravenclaw, Magnus tells him it is a very interesting house, with many good assets, “and their common room? Lovely!” he says and Alec rolls his eyes but Magnus just continues “So yes, Ravenclaw is pretty good...But as you may know, I’ve always liked being the best. And my dear Slytherin is the house that grants me that.” Alec nods as he hears and chuckled a little when Magnus winks at him when mentioning the word best. “Besides...If I was in Ravenclaw I wouldn’t have the pleasure to share the common room with you Alexander, my dearest” Alec blushes and looks away. He tells Magnus to shut up, his tone fake light but later when he hangs out with Jace after dinner his mind keeps turning around the different but similar words used by Magnus to classify their house and him. 

At the fourth year, Jace gets a girlfriend, a girl he has been flirting with for a while now to which Alec had to hear and be grossed out about for a good 2 years. She is a Gryffindor, like him. And a pureblood, like him. Perfect marriage. Perfect friendship. Jace goes on and on about how amazing she is, how happy he is, how funny she is, he has never laughed this much before and Alec takes a deep breath and watches him. So now, he not only barely sees Jace at school (and feels terribly anguished about spending time with him at home because is a constant comparison between them by their parents) the little time they do have to spent together, Jace is sticking his tongue inside that Fray girl. Things go down the day of the first game of the year. Alec didn’t join the quidditch team that year. He wasn’t particularly interested in that anymore, he wouldn’t get to play with Jace (worse, he would have to play against him) and it wouldn’t really impress his parents (probably would just get them mad). But it comes time to choose his seat and Alec has always chosen to sit at the gryffindor side,with Izzy, to watch Jace play. He would even sit with (ugh) Clary. But then he has feeling pretty on edge lately and angry at every single gryffindor. Everything has been too much lately, Jace ditching him for a girl, a new best friend, a gryffindor girl, his parents never approbing him when he used the golden child, Izzy being uncaring about rules and making fun of him when he was talking about some news that had came on the ministry of magic, just everything. So when it comes time to choose his seat and Izzy waves at him with Clary by her side he takes a deep breath and before he can accept it (because well, he was angry but he didn’t had other option. Watch it alone from the Slytherin stands? no thanks) Magnus calls him. Alec turns confused, he had never heard Magnus say one thing about quidditch since they met. “Raphael is playing. I’m a supportive friend” Magnus justifies. Raphael was a kid on Alecs year that Magnus had pretty much adopted, similar to what he did to Alec, but Magnus definitely doesn't touches Raphael with as much malicious on his eyes as he did with Alec. So Alec looks at Izzy, waves at his confused sister, and leaves with Magnus into the silver and green crowd.

Alec and Magnus get together at the winter holidays of fifth year. Alec stays at Hogwarts because things at home were just a bit tad unbearable for him. Magnus stays too. They get drunk on slughorns special liquor that Magnus had stolen (Slughorn new of course, but he pretended he didn’t because well, Magnus was an extraordinaire student, he deserved) and Alec curses his family and hides the two tears that fall and Magnus kisses his cheeks and whispers “The lightwoods might be “willing to die for the cause” stupidly brave” his breath tingles Alecs cheek and neck “but they are quite stupid if they don’t value the preciosity that you are my dearest” Alec turns and look into Magnus deep eyes and the older boy licks his lips. They kiss and its messy and amazing. So amazing. Alec thinks this is the best Christmas he had in a long long time.

On the sixth year, everybody stays for the winter holidays. Jace and Izzy take a stand to defend Alec after a nasty comment their mother made about not recognizing him anymore when she found out about his relationship. (“Dating a slytherin? How could you possibly even think about marrying one of them?” “I AM ONE OF THEM!” He screamed with tears and anger and frustration on his eyes “Well...At least you won’t be able to reproduce another one of that kind”). Clary stays to be with Jace (Alec and her had grown together, he didn’t really hate her now, sometimes he could even see why Jace loved her so much, not that he would ever admit that out loud) and her best friend stays too. A kid from Ravenclaw, named Simon. Apparently, he was almost a Gryffindor, but started rambling on why he should be a Gryffindor and making up the song lyrics to justify his reason and the hat told him to shut up and threw him into Ravenclaw “where his nerd artistic heart belongs” according to Clary. Magnus drags Raphael too and he and Simon seem to hate each other guts, something related to Simon annoying habits on the library that made difficult for Raphael to study. When they all finish eating and go to bed, Raphael says he has to come back because he forgot something. Alec and Magnus look at each other and pretend they didn’t see Simon telling Clary goodbye and hanging out with apparently no reason. 

7th year ends and Alec is happy with what he has achieved in his Slytherin life. He plans on moving in with Jace to a nice apartment complex. He was planning on moving out for a while now and Jace laughs and asks him if he really taught that he was actually going to move alone. Of course Jace was going with him. Magnus lives a couple blocks away, he becomes a potioneer. Izzy still lives at home,of course, but spends as much time as she can with them during holidays, and has already plans to move in with Clary as soon as she graduates. All four of them become aurores. Simon moves in with Raphael and live nearby, the slytherin man works for the ministry of magic and Simon works on a bookshop and still has a band on his halftime.

Alec still has his brother. He hasn’t left him even though they were from different houses. Magnus makes him feel safe and loved and Alec loves him back,so much. Izzy reminds him to breath and look around every so often and enjoy the little things. Clary makes good sunday pancakes and helps Alecs roomate unwind when he is to stressed and annoying. Raphael and him have deep conversations about politics and the mans bitter remarks make him laugh often, he is also thankful Raphael has the ability to make Simon shut up often. Alec decides that he is happy. A slytherin life is not so bad to be lived after all.