#which explains. perhaps. why i felt exactly the same way i did when i was So Sick....

[crimeronan]

so an update on me being suicidal for the past like two days. i did just start my period,

[lainsshop]

Being His First Soul ૭୧

Pairing: Alastor x First Soul ! Reader

Tags: i don’t even know tbh..

A/N: I honestly tried to make this as canon as possibly but I think I failed cause I don’t know but! Please enjoy this, I accept any feedback! And if you have more ideas I’ll make sure to put him here!🫶

How you met. To be honest, there’s so many scenarios of how you two met, maybe you both knew each other when you were alive or maybe you both played a bet, perhaps you were a hopeless sinner who just got there around the same time where he manifested..?

But one thing is for sure is that you two made a deal when you first interacted, you were just that dumb to know his real intentions, darling!

Since you’ve been with him for quite some time, he expects you to be on your best behavior all the time! Which is to never question him or anything like that, yes, you can curse and stuff like that but never try to cross him or there’ll be consequences.

Maybe there was ONE time where you did and it didn’t end up pretty- “I expected better from you, reader-“ He would absolutely use your real name to show you that he isn’t joking or anything like- he’s 100% serious with you.

This mf is the definition of manipulation! He wouldn’t exactly physically hurt you but emotionally..? Maybe, just perhaps. He only does it to show you where your place is, nothing more.

His protection. I feel like he would grow fond of you over the years since well- you’re his first soul, you’re basically around him all the fucking time!

He needs help with something? Summons you. He needs someone to help him on this charity thing? Summons you. He needs someone to help him with his broadcast? Summons you. It’s always you who summons first cause he knows you will do it no matter what, you either learned that from the hard way or easy way.

I feel like you would be friends with Husk and Niffty. Well- it was easy to make a friendship with Niffty but with Husk? Nah, that took a lot of time, that mf was hard to crack but he eventually did, only a bit, just a tiny bit though.

Speaking of friends, you of course met Rosie and Mimzy, you either hate or like Mimzy, I don’t know but you absolutely adored Rosie, she was like a breath of fresh air for you, she was like Alastor but in a better way, you know?

You knowing his intentions. This is hard to explain kinda cause I feel like you would know his real intentions by now like you can read him like a book, you know? Since you’ve been together for so long so I think you can read him with ease.

Playful banter. You’re either going along with it or being annoyed by it and Alastor enjoys that! He loves your reactions to his banter or comments that make you have an entertaining reaction.

Why do I feel like you have this instinct when something happens to Alastor? Like when he made that deal with someone you felt it or when he got hurt from fighting with Adam you also felt that, is like you’re connected with him but not in that way, you know what I mean?

Even if you’ve been together for so long, you honestly still haven’t seen his vulnerable side like yes, maybe you’ve seen him lose his composure and curse at someone cause they pissed him off but nothing more, you could’ve sworn that he didn’t curse or anything like that so imagine you’re expression when he did like damn😭

© LAINSSHOP 2024

[hollowwrites]

The Room of Reconciliation

Ominis x MC

Summary - Tensions had been high between the Slytherin Trio shortly after the Undercroft Catastrophe.

Warnings - Angst into Comfort, Evelyn mom mentioned right at the beginning (Fluff if you’re sick of it but I’m continuing to add my boi into every square inch of that game (someone mentioned this to me ages ago I’m so sorry I lost who it was))

Word Count - 2928

~

She’d overreacted. She knew that.

Crying because a boy had shouted at her. Grow Up, Evelyn.

Make your mother proud.

Of course, that was the reason she was in such a foul mood that day in the first place. And why she was so easily brought to tears.

The day Ominis had shouted at her for entering the Undercroft was her mother’s birthday. A sensitive day that had started off terribly in it own right.

She’d fell up the stairs leading out of the Common Room. Missed Breakfast. Gotten into trouble because of Garreth, again. And spent most of her day without her wand after forgetting it in her bedside table. Getting used to carrying the thing around hadn’t quite become second nature yet.

So when Sebastian approached her in the late afternoon, a cheeky smile and a twinkle in his eye, she didn’t think twice to follow him. And when he mentioned, repeatedly, that it was Ominis’ place, something Ominis had shown him…it hadn’t occurred to her to refuse, and perhaps ask Ominis for his permission beforehand.

She simply followed.

And she had a blast.

Sebastian was right, there was something about that spell that was addictive. Cathartic.

It wasn’t until Ominis’ sharp authoritative tone cut through her reverie that she snapped. And the whole day just became too much.

And she hadn’t spoken to him since.

It had been a week.

Pretty impressive considering they shared a Common Room, multiple classes and a best friend.

It wasn’t like she actively ignored him. More that she felt an intense guilt every time she looked at him. Everytime his milky eyes settled over her, she just saw…betrayal.

Especially with Professor Weasley showing her the Room of Requirement the very next day. She didn’t even need the Undercroft. She hadn’t used it once. Whether that made her presence there in the first place any better she didn’t know.

But spending no time in the Undercroft, hours holed away in Room of Requirement and daily task and chores occupying any time available after that, Evelyn had become…lonely.

Sebastian had become a little…manic. Shortly after the Undercroft incident, Sebastian invited Evelyn to visit his family. Whether it was to cheer Anne up by meeting someone new, or cheer Evelyn up by taking her mind off Ominis, she wasn’t sure.

Either way it hadn’t worked.

Sebastian’s home life just made her feel…empty. The confrontation with Solomon had left her both angry and yet incredibly sad. Anne was stuck amongst this in immense pain. Sebastian felt helpless and Solomon was clearly an unfit guardian for two teenagers he neither wanted nor seemingly cared about.

She couldn’t exactly blame Sebastian for his behaviour. But she had to admit, the far off unfocused gaze and sudden downturn of his lips was jarring. Just the week before, he asked her to learn unsanctioned spells and blast braziers until they were both rosy cheeked and giggling.

Now she could barely get a chuckle out of him.

In the space of a week, she’d lost her closest friends in this new mysterious world. If she didn’t have Imelda and her constant abrasive form of affection, Evelyn very well may have lost it. As it stood she just became a husk, trudging from class to class, trail to trail, chore to chore. Barely taking in her environment as she did.

Which explains how she come crashing into Ominis after leaving the Charms Classroom.

Because he had become the same.

His wand even alerted him to the presence coming from the classroom. It notified him of their trajectory all the way until it came fumbling into him.

He just ignored it.

Because he didn’t care.

Anne was gone, he was losing Sebastian and he’d pushed Evelyn away. He, too, was a husk.

“Watch where you’re-” Ominis snapped, his wand falling to the floor with a clatter. His instant aggression and plastered on sneer faltered when he heard the tiny exhale forced from her chest and the unmistakable scent of Roses. “…Evelyn”

“…Ominis…” she breathed. A moment of stunned silence fell over them before she blinked herself back to reality. His wand rolled towards her, bumping against her shoe as she knelt to retrieve it.

Surely it was the least she could do.

She extended her hands towards him, his wand still blinking somehow as Ominis reached to take it back.

“Thank you…” he said softly, his eyes holding a deep sadness behind them and she wondered why. But, as he so aptly pointed out, they weren’t friends, so she didn’t have the right to ask what was wrong

“You’re Welcome…” She replied sheepishly with an equally pained expression.

An awkward, heart-achingly long silence stretched before them as she stared at the ground. His feet were a much safer location to stare than the piercing judgemental wells of his eyes. Neither made any move to leave, though neither said anything either. Both of them choosing to wallow in this sickening pit of longing and despair.

No sense in attempting to hide away from the negativity. It only bled into their everyday life, both becoming a shell of their former selves. Though many hadn’t seen this side of Evelyn, the cold hard faced figure. They’d only seen her chipper almost gleeful persona as she flitted around. And why wouldn’t she be happy? She’d discovered magic and all the wonders that that held. She’d made friends she didn’t even know existed a few months ago.

And yet…

With this bump in the road, everything she had pushed deep down came bubbling to the surface like one of Garreth’s failed concoctions.

Mr Osrics death, Ranrok, Rookwood, Goblin Rebellions, Annes Curse…

Now she wore them on her sleeve, a near constant frown etched into her features.

Though Ominis’ was a regular occurrence. Whether it was Sebastian winding him up or his family making themselves known, he’d earned a reputation for being stoic and unfeeling.

In actuality, Ominis felt things probably more than most. He was just better at hiding it.

They both were��

The sounds of Evelyn running and crying from him had eaten away at him over the last week. And he found himself now in an uncomfortable position of admitting fault and asking for forgiveness.

“I’m sorry” They said in unison, causing them both to laugh softly and the tension to shatter into a thousand glorious little pieces.

“Please…allow me to go first” Ominis said with a gentle smile and hands raised in surrender. He mulled the words over in his mind before he spoke. “…You shouldn’t have to apologise. At all. It was Sebastian I was angry at and you, unfortunately, just happened to be in my line of sight…” he chuckled softly, almost to himself “…so to speak”

“But…”

“No. I shan’t hear it. I said-” a deep regretful sigh left his chest “…I said some, frankly, horrible things to you. And my pride got in the way of apologising”

His posture was always bad. But there was something about the slouch of his shoulders, the hunch of his back, that looked like he was trying to shrink away from everything. Like he was readying for her to reject him entirely.

“Still though…That place was special to you and now it’s…less so. Because of me…” the mournful tone of her voice was immediately recognisable to Ominis.

Though he wasn’t certain of what she looked like, he had a rough idea from what Sebastian had told him and what was silhouetted from his wand. He could imagine her upturned brows, the sad tug of her lips. Then he remembered her little sobs as she ran from the Undercroft and he could almost see the tears breaching her lashes.

“Nonsense…” he whispered, tormented by his own mental image of her “…it’s not any less special because you know of it. In fact…”

Careful, now

“I was planning on showing you the Undercroft myself. I was simply…frustrated Sebastian got there before me” the lopsided way he smiled was endearing and she found herself smiling dreamily up at him, despite his inability to actually see it.

“Really?”

“Yes. I wanted to show you because you’re my friend, not just Sebastians” As he took back the words he cut her so deeply with before, he felt the sting of them on his tongue.

“I must say…that is a relief to hear. I was afraid I’d…never mind. I’m just sorry any of this happened” she said quickly, hoping to get the words out before he cut her off, explaining that she needn’t apologise.

“I’m sorry I spoke to you in the manner I did. It was rude and childish. And I certainly should’ve have threatened you with expulsion…” Ominis shook his head as though he was retroactively disappointed in his own actions.

“No, it’s fine. I understand where you were coming from. I’m-“

“If you apologise again I will speak to Professor Black about having you removed from the premises…” his lopsided smile morphed to a smirk, pulled wide across his cheeks. He chuckled when he heard her close her mouth, the distinct little huff she exhaled from her nose clear to him as she pouted.

She often did this. A little quirk he’d known many people do when they showed dissatisfaction but hers was…unique. The huff sounded almost like a laugh, a humourless and pouty thing that bought endless joy when he teased her.

“How about you stop apologising and we try to move on? If you would like to, of course” He offered a hand outstretched to her. He wasn’t even really sure why. Just that a part of him wanted to feel her again, and this was the most natural way he could think of.

That’s when her cool fingertips grazed across his palm and shook his hand in the daintiest of hand shakes he had ever experienced.

Difficult to imagine this was the same girl who had effortlessly defended Hogsmeade against a troll. And a myriad of other pointless and dangerous tasks appointed to her.

“I’d like that…” her gentle pleasing tone sang out from below him.

The moment she agreed, his whole demeanour shifted. He stood a little straighter, shoulders more square and yet somehow he looked more…relaxed.

“I’d like that too” he said more relieved than she thought he would be.

“I do have a way to make it up to you though” she offered as her finger slipped from his grasp, moving over to weave her fingers amongst his. She tugged on his hand but he remained stationary. His fingers did indeed weave with hers but he stood steadfast as a curious smile tugged at his lips.

“You don’t have to make anything up to me” he borderline whispered. His voice was always soft but this was new. Gentle in a way he’d never shown previously.

“Please? It would make me feel better besides…it offers you an avenue away from Sebastian”

Upon hearing those words Ominis’ brow raised with boyish curiosity.

He loved Sebastian, he really did…

But

The near constant questioning of his families knick knacks, hidden knowledge and…gods he wished he’d never mentioned that damned Scriptorium. Just the mere utterance of Salazar Slytherin had Sebastian foaming at the mouth and every single conversation thereafter had been consumed by it. No longer did they indulge in casual chatter. No more quidditch theories. No more fiction recommendations. No more Sebastian.

And with sharing a dorm, the Undercroft and most classes…Ominis had been left with little peace.

“Oh? I suppose I can hear you out…” Ominis asked with just the slightest edge of guilt. “…How were you planning on making this up to me?”

Evelyn grinned upon seeing the usual teasing smirk pull across his lips.

“It’s easier if I show you…” she said tugging on his arm playfully once again, only this time…he relented, taking a few steps forward with a roll of his eyes.

“Lead the way…”

~

Thankfully, they stumbled into each other not far from their destination. Though she did have to convince him she wasn’t leading him to his death and planned on pushing him off the Astrology Tower. He laughed softly at her faux outrage, offering her arm to guide him up the few stairs leading towards that infamous ogre tapestry.

They stood for a moment in awkward silence.

Not because it was awkward between them, but because the door to the Room of Requirement did not show itself. She worried for a moment that the sentient room knew she was trying to show someone and it refused or that perhaps their needs were different and it didn’t know how to differentiate between the two.

“It’s here…” she muttered desperately, releasing his arm and beginning to pace up and down the little empty hallway.

The sounds of a rather lively Astrology class rang down the wooden staircase ahead of them and Ominis shook his head with a small laugh.

He had a near exact copy of Hogwarts’ complicated and winding hallways in his mind. There was nothing here. Just an old dusty tapestry and the Astrology Tower.

The smell of musk and the distant sounds of that rambunctious class of third years was evidence of that. Until…

A slight rubble and crackle of stone turned his attention toward the blank wall ahead of them. He placed his hand against the stone, cautiously. The grinding of stone against stone didn’t sound the safest and yet it moved harmlessly under his palm, twisting and transfiguring to a warm wood and cool metal.

Of course

“You found the Room of Requirement?” Ominis grinned, turning his head towards the buzzing and ecstatic Evelyn behind him.

“Found is a strong word…” she said, the joy in her voice unmistakeable “…Professor Weasley instructed me to look here and it presented itself to me”

She took his hand, the one not pressed curiously to the wall and gently guided him inside the Room.

Ominis felt a strange shift in the atmosphere as he stepped past the threshold. Neither out in the open, nor indoors. The air felt…artificial. Stagnant. Generated in some way. Not entirely unpleasant.

A welcoming warmth wrapped around him as Evelyn brought him into a larger room. Not huge. Roughly the same size as the dorms but all for her. For them.

She bought him around the Room, narrating along as she did.

“There’s a fireplace and settees. Bookcases. This here leads to where I’ve been practising spells and potions and…well…everything. But this…”

She gently turned him and guided him to another room. Smaller and cooler.

“…I left this for you.”

Ominis stepped away from her and into ‘His’ room. His wand alerted him to the snug way the walls tapered in around them, the narrow walkway around a huge plush bed that took up almost the entire room.

He had been struggling to sleep…

“I found it shortly after Sebastian showed me the Undercroft. I felt so guilty, I’ve been coming here instead. Only I know about it…in this form at least”

“It’s perfect…” Ominis finally spoke, running his hand along the bed runner with a gentle smile and a voice filled with gratitude and relief.

He fought everything inside him telling him to pull her into a warm embrace. They didn’t have that kind of relationship, as much as he wanted to. As much as he craved her touch. He settled for something little, reaching out to her arm, squeezing affectionately before letting his fingers drop to hers. And she reciprocated, her own lazily linking with his.

“We can share this space…” she whispered “…we could arrange it so we have our own time to ourselves. Maybe putting a tie on the door handle if we don’t want to be disturbed…” she laughed softly, earning a playful rise of Ominis’ brows.

“…I’d like that. Thank you”

“It’s okay…” she shrugged, Ominis’ fingers tightening somewhat as her arm accidentally pulled her from his grasp “…I took away your safe haven, it’s only fair I replace it”

Ominis sighed sharply, turning and holding Evelyn by her cheeks.

“You did not take away anything…” he said with a strange authority, like how a father might scold a child when they aren’t listening “…I acted like a brute. You did nothing wrong”

He felt her lean into his hand slightly and her cheek puff out as she smiled sheepishly.

And…

Was that a mole he could feel beneath his palm?

He could…see her!

He dropped his hands from her face, blinking rapidly to rid images of her from his head.

If he dwelled on them for too long he would want to see her completely. And he told himself not to get that close to too many people.

Gods, he hated himself for making that rule!

Oh, actually, I don’t need to know what anyone looks like. If I’ve known them for two years then they are worthy of my time but before that…no.

Stupid angsty little child…

“I’ll leave you to it then…” Evelyn chirped before she turned to leave his domain.

She didn’t get far before his cold hand wrapped around her wrist.

“Before you go…I wanted to say…” he paused momentarily, his lips parted as the words got stuck in his throat. His hesitation turned to nerves as he felt her turn to him completely. Her full attention, on him “…Evelyn, with everything going on; Sebastian, our disagreement, you disappearing to Merlin’s knows where…I just wanted to say I missed you”

A beat of silence hung in the air as Evelyn smiled and stopped herself from jumping into his arms.

“I missed you too…”

Masterlist

[alexusonfire]

Warmth of Your Doorways - Chapter Nine

Jane Murdstone x dressmaker!Reader

In collaboration with @daydream-cement and beta'd by our baby @tunarunes 🧡

Summary: Jane learns what it means to forgive.

Jane remained outside a cafe all afternoon. She nestled herself in a corner near the front window to wait for your nightly walk home from work. Unfortunately for her, this was another day in which you stayed late into the evening - resulting in her having to wait near the mouth of an alleyway when the establishment closed. Regardless of this, Jane Murdstone would not be deterred.

You finished up your work, eyes growing heavy through your last few stitches. You took your time in cleaning up your station and locking up the shop - the thought of your empty home keeping you moving at half the pace in which you normally would be working.

The walk home felt uneventful, but there was an uneasiness to it - almost as if you were being watched. You made your way up the stairs and the uneasiness being quelled by the feeling of your home nearby.

As you made your way inside, you quickly made yourself comfortable by shedding your outer skirts and corset. You draped them over a chair and left them behind to fix yourself something small for dinner, going about your business absentmindedly while softly humming to yourself as you cooked.

Little did you know that Jane was positioned outside your front door, wrestling with her anxieties about knocking and making her presence known. She was terrified that she would be met with rejection and vile words - the same that she had subjected you to not that long ago. With the clench of her fist, Jane raised a shaky hand and pushed herself to gently knock at your door - the possible reward of earning you back ultimately outweighing the potential rejection.

At first there was no sign of movement, the wooden store staring back at her, mocking her. She strained to hear any sounds of life, music, puttering, footsteps. The windows were barely lit, though surely you'd had time by now to turn a light on or two.

So she waited. Knocked softly again. Waited.

When the door finally creaked open, Jane felt an immediate rush of relief fill her. There you stood, pretty as ever, hair half piled up. Jane noted you looked a wee bit run down, and if your hours tonight were indicative of your usual work schedule, she couldn't fault you.

She also noted how you did not move, so still Jane had to focus briefly on your chest to see that you were indeed breathing.

"... Jane?"

It was so quiet, so broken that it took all of Jane's remaining strength to stay upright. The tears now flowing down your cheeks matched hers, and she tentatively took a step towards you.

"Yes, little violet. I'm here."

You sobbed and flung yourself into Jane, nearly toppling the two of you over. Aware of potential onlookers, Jane quickly pulled you indoors, shutting the door behind her with her foot as you clung to her. Though her chest was filled to the brim with apologies and explanations, she allowed herself a moment to simply comfort you, gently smoothing down your hair as her tears stained it.

"Jane… Jane, you're here… why… how?"

Wobbled and unsure, Jane attempted to tell you how Marjory had bought her tickets, to come find you, fight for you. The mention of Marjory seemed to stir something in you, as you pushed back from Jane and now held her an arms distance away. Jane felt her resolve crumble slightly as anger lit your pupils, and she braced herself for what she knew was coming; what she knew she deserved.

"And is that why you're here? To fight for me? After… after everything you did? Everything you said?"

Jane cringed and wrapped her hand around yours, hoping to keep you from drifting too far.

"Please, let me explain-"

"Explain?! Explain what exactly? Never in my life have I been called such nasty things, or been so thoroughly disrespected… and I… I thought you loved me Jane, I… I love you-"

You knew you were yelling, knew that perhaps your neighbors could be privy to your rage, but staring at the woman who had hurt you so badly…

Damn them all. And damn her too if her excuses weren't good enough.

Even if she looked as weary as you felt. Even if the guilt and pain were written clear as day on her features, rolling down her cheeks to meet her throat.

Damn her, damn her, damn her-

"I love you too, little violet. I swear it."

Spoken with such hushed sincerity, perhaps you could believe it.

"Please. Please just- let me explain. Let me speak. Let me… show you. Prove to you. That I am worth the love you hold for me."

Every atom in your body screamed for her, as they had since the moment you met her; her pleas echoed in your marrow, and you felt some of the anger melt away when you noted how hollow her cheeks had become.

"Fine. But do not think you can simply… walk back in here and everything will go back to normal. I can't- I couldn't handle this pain a second time. You need to mean it, Jane."

You hadn't thrown her out on the doorstep, and truly that's what she'd been expecting. She nodded, and even dared offer you a small smile.

She would do this, that she knew for certain. She'd spend the rest of her life proving her love to you, if that's what it took.

"You can start by telling me why you ever pushed me away to begin with."

Jane’s mouth gaped for a moment. She didn’t know where to begin. How could she explain a lifetime of pain and violence in a way that also allowed her to take ownership of her mistakes?

With a gentle tug of your hands, Jane drew you to sit on the edge of the bed next to her. There was a nervousness about Jane as she worked up the courage to open up about her trauma. Her dedication to winning you back pushed the words from her mouth. “Since my father died... my brother became the head of the house. When we were young, he learned of my... love of the fairer sex. This was something I was... ahem... routinely punished for...”

While this hadn’t fully explained Jane’s behavior, her words tugged at your heartstrings.

“I slowly became more callous... more of the shrew others told you I was. So much of that changed when I came to live with Marjory. I was so much happier, and so much more myself. And then you came along...” Jane paused briefly when she thought of how you changed her life irrevocably, a shy smile causing her to turn her gaze into her lap. “Edward came back... He found out we were together. He threatened to tell people... to ruin your career. I knew it was wrong to turn you away. It was wrong to hurt you the way I did...”

“I never meant any of it. I-I was scared... I was set to be married three days ago... and I would have. I fell into such despair when you left. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t journal... I just sat there thinking of that night you came to me in the rain.”

You sat in a stunned silence, overwhelmed by the story she had told you. All of the insults. All of the ways she hurt you could be attributed to her fear of her brother. So much of you wanted to remain angry. You wanted to scream and call her a coward, but as you observed her typically proud and rigid stature, you saw Jane wasn’t her normal self.

The dress she wore hung looser around her body. Her face displayed an uncommon exhaustion and ghostliness. It was then you saw the true extent of Jane’s heartbreak.

“What do you want from me now?” Your question wasn’t aimed to wound Jane, but you needed to know more about her intent on being there in your home. As much as it pained you, you wondered if this was all a sick joke.

“I want to love you... I want to apologize for all that I’ve put you through.”

“I... I forgive you...” Your response immediately made the ravenette perk up, but the way you finished your sentence made her face fall with a sad understanding. “But... I need more time to trust you again, Janey...”

"Of course dearest. Might I, at the risk of toeing over the line, ask to stay the night? I'm afraid in my haste I've forgotten to book a proper room. I can… I can stay on the couch-"

You shook your head, the thought of the statuesque woman cramped in your living area almost comical, and tentatively took Jane's hand. Neither of you commented how much you had missed the feeling as you led her towards the spare room, fetching an extra blanket to help keep out the night chill. There was an awkward tinge to the air as you bade her goodnight, the yearn on her face palpable, and for a brief moment, you thought she might ask you to stay.

You wished she had.

--

Sleep did not come easy, if at all, and after tossing and turning for what seemed like hours, you finally sighed and tossed the covers aside, padding quietly towards where Jane slept.

You stood in the doorway for a few moments, simply watching her. She looked ethereal in the moonlight, her long black hair spilling over the pillow beside her. It made your heart ache every time you looked at her, and in the peaceful thrum of the night, you allowed yourself to be drawn to her. Carefully, you pulled back the blanket and slipped beside Jane, your breath catching when her perfume hit your nostrils. You'd been so overwhelmed earlier you hadn't noticed it; now however, it consumed you. You brushed her hair off the pillow and lay fully next to her, hardly daring to breathe.

It was the best you'd slept in weeks.

Jane had awoken to your presence not long after you slipped into unconsciousness. Through half lidded eyes, she thought she was experiencing the same recurring dream she had since you left. A dream where you crawled into bed and she held you throughout the night, only to wake heartbroken when it had all been a figment of her imagination. As she always did, Jane embraced the fiction and looped an arm around you - not caring of the heartache to come. Only if she knew that for the first time in weeks, her wildest dreams were a reality.

--

Waking up was slow, easy. The first rays of sunlight were spilling into the room, and you felt warm… almost too warm. Your brow furrowed as you shifted slightly, the smells and sheets not at all familiar. Cracking your eyes open, you peered around you, your heart stuttering when you met Jane's piercing blue gaze.

".... good morning, sweeting."

You couldn't help the sleepy smile- you'd missed her so much. Missed waking up to her like this. Rather than let the moment pass, you simply curled under her chin and wrapped your arm around her, breathing her in for a few moments.

"Good morning Janey. Did- did you sleep well?"

Jane nodded, and dared to gently run her fingertips up and down your spine. You felt that familiar twang pull in your chest; you'd missed this too much, and it all came rushing back as to why.

"We should eat something. I have to be off to work soon."

Jane had noticed the way you'd stiffened in her arms, but stayed silent as she watched you rise for the day. You left for your room without so much as a glance back at her, and it made her throat feel tight.

She could do this. She would do this.

Breakfast was manageable, that awkward tinge back in the air as you moved around each other seamlessly, cooking eggs and laying plates and cutlery. Any attempt at small talk felt… odd. Stifled. For now quiet seemed best, and Jane opted to tidy the kitchen while you finished readying yourself for work. She met you at the front door, a small bag with lunch for you in her outstretched hand.

"I hope you have a good day today."

"Thank you. Will, um… will you still be here when I return this evening?"

You looked so small and unsure of yourself Jane wanted to scoop you in her arms and never let you go.

"If you'd like me to be."

Your shoulders relaxed, and you took the lunch from Jane, butterflies skittering in your chest as your hands brushed.

"I would."

Jane smiled, a real smile, and opened the door for you. Some long-lost remark of her gentlemanly nature was at the tip of your tongue, but playful banter still seemed too… raw. Much like everything else at the moment. You simply squeezed her hand on your way out, and wondered what it would once again be like to come home to Jane.

--

@weemssapphic @bitch-we-have-a-hulk @yourlocaldisneyvillain @renravens @thegoddamnfeels @dvrkhcld @blessmysouljessisonaroll @opheliauniverse @ahsfan05 @ness029 @carnivorousflowers @willowshadenox @mysaviorfalsegod @myzzjolanda @bigolgay @pluied-ete @h-doodles @pro-weems-places @kimiinou @vigelvictoria @pigeonbrewster @saturnnnnl @azu-zu

[askvashthetyphoon]

A Precious Gift

 A Nai(Knives) x Fem! reader fic I made while high on mochas and pork buns lol

!!TW!! mentions of Pregnancy+ alien anatomy shit lol At the beginning it was purely professional.

You were one of the few plant researchers who could ‘understand’ the readings from the plants. Though nowhere near as effective as Vash at ‘healing’, you were usually able to bring them from the edge of panic and meltdown to some kind of homeostasis( at least, until Nai could get there). It was because of this that, during one of Nai’s raids of a human vessel, he took you in. Disposing of the others.

You’d never been happy with how the plants were treated, not from the beginning. But when Nai filled you in on the scope of the horrors, you couldn’t help but fill him in on what you knew of human history; exactly how, and why, the planet had been destroyed. You, like William Conrad, did your best to help Nai in his ongoing research and received your life as a reward.

You were attracted to him, though. Being around him was enough. Had you ever seen such a beautiful creature? The way the light from the screens were caught in a thousand rings of diamond blue? The way his hair so softly danced from the slight pressure of the underground vents, soft and feather-light?

And he knew it too, you could tell. The slight change of his downturned eyes; tightening just slightly in amusement. The catlike twitch of the corner of his mouth; almost a grin, but he’d never let a full one escape, of course. The way he’s let one of those deadly knife-ropes ‘accidentally’ brush against your shoulder, your thigh, as he went to grab something from around you. One evening about four or so months ago, everything had changed.

You’d shared a drink with him; some of the fancier stuff left behind on one of the SEED ships. It wasn’t as if Conrad would join you- he was far too melancholy for that. And drinking with Nai was better than drinking alone. It was sort of amusing to watch his reactions; he, apparently, could get drunk just like any other human.

“You want me.” He said, quietly, after a moment of content, drunken silence between the two of you after finishing off a few bottles together. You looked down into the red wine in utter embarrassment and swallowed another mouthful thickly.

“It’s understandable.” Nai paused, twirling the drink in a slow and almost contemplative way. His eyes were unusually dark tonight; a deep sapphire. Perhaps an effect of the wine. “We have those same disgusting, carnal needs as humans. I don’t indulge in them often except for with others of my kind. But…” He lifted his eyes and you felt your stomach drop. There was a buzzing, purring in the air. So thick, and electric, that you could almost see the energy.

“Tonight I will make an exception. Come.” You felt those long tentacles, a thousand, thousand knives, gently caressing your back as he stood and offered a hand to you. The metal was cold at the tips but warmer the closer to his torso. And his hand was surprisingly warm, and soft. Almost human.

Almost.

You followed.

And learned quite a bit about the anatomy of the ‘male’ plants that night. And many nights thereafter. Between the legs, Nai was female. Which was quite the adventure for the both of you, since he’d never been introduced to fingers, toys, or any other forms of pleasure.  

However, he was certainly male in every other aspect. His strange knife-tentacles, when aroused, actually turned into something completely different. Roots. They were soft, gentle, white as snow. And with beautiful blue flowers that bloomed only after he’d finished deep inside of you. Sometimes he’d slide them in the more traditional way. Other times, they’d slip directly under your skin, somehow attaching right to your womb. Afterword, they’d be able to slide away, leaving only soft stickiness. No scars, no nothing. When you asked about it later, Nai explained sleepily about how the roots didn’t follow traditional rules of this world. That they were attached to the Higher Plane, just like Vash’s. And could sort of… do what they want. Slipping through things like walls and glass and bending the laws of physics at will. If you were really good, he’d treat you to the wings as well. Not the knife-wings that he used when fighting, but the sweet, feathered wonders that seemed infinitely huge when compared to your tiny body. But he didn’t treat you to those very often.

Between endometriosis and irregular periods, your reproductive system had been screwed up since birth, so you weren’t too worried about pregnancy. But it was strange. The more time you spent with him, the less your symptoms flared up, and the more regular your cycles became. It almost felt like he was healing you from the inside out. Not that that was possible.

At first he was a horrible, selfish lover. Only concerned with his own pleasure and leaving you frustrated and wanting every time you were together. But after a while you noticed quiet changes. Beginning to ask you what you liked. What made you feel good. Paying attention to your various noises and reactions (or lack thereof). Soon, he began to understand that it was far, far better when both parties got what they wanted, and adjusted your romps accordingly. At this point, it was about twice a week. Maybe more if it’d been a particularly frustrating week for the both of you.

But something in him was softening, slightly. Often, almost unconsciously, his knives would be around you when you worked together. One of two, sometimes even three strands, gently supporting your back. Guiding you down various hallways and away from potential dangers. They were always so clean; reflecting everything around them, and cool to the touch. He seemed to like it when you ran your hands gently over the edges, so lightly as to not cut yourself. He began to linger after your romps, clinging to your arm or leg and giving you a gaze you’d never seen before as he pulled you back into bed. You found yourself spending the night at his place, showering, and getting up early together for work more and more often.

Then, it started. You started feeling sick. Not horrible’ just a general overall shittiness. Tired no matter the amount of coffee. Nauseated. You ignored it at first, dedicated to your work. Nai noticed too and seemed both annoyed and concerned, growling and huffing at you to get your human disease under control since it was affecting the quality of your work. Yet, you could tell he was perplexed. Generally speaking, you  were very healthy.

The plants began to react differently too. Cooing and clicking and purring softly when you went into their rooms. It was very strange, and made your hair stand on end.

After the disease lingered on far longer than necessary, a thought came to your mind. After work, you  tracked back in your calendar when your shift was over, counting. Three months. Three months with no period! How had you not noticed? Your stomach dropped and you felt your gorge rising, having to cover your mouth to avoid throwing up your pathetically small breakfast.

Panicked, you pilfered one of the blood tests you used on the plants to determine pregnancy. A human pregnancy test wouldn’t work; the hormones were too different. No human growth hormones to detect.

It was positive.

If it was just a plant, Nai would destroy it. You knew that in the deepest core of your being. But… your hand lingered over the spot.

You didn’t want it gone. It was Nai’s. Somewhere you’d… fallen in love with him. The gentleness. The part of him that was still kind and loving, the part of him that only you ever got to see. The way his eyes opened so softly in the morning and he gave you that silly grin. The way his body curled around yours in the middle of the night, squeezing. As if making sure you were still there. His little pet names: you were his rabbit, his doe, his sweet little dove.

Getting rid of something that was a part of him, that was his, seemed like a terrible sin.

Your only choice was to run.

You booked the tickets, packed a small bag. Your heart was racing. Maybe, you’ll get lucky. Maybe Nai would be out on one of his errands this morning.

No such luck.

“You’re late.” He murmured, tapping his watch with one of his knives cooly as you tiptoed through the room. Using one of the tentacles to lift a clipboard from one of the side rooms, sliding it into your hands without meeting your gaze.

“Um. Actually. I have to take care of an errand in August.” You managed, setting the clipboard down gently. Trying your best to stay calm, collected. But you could feel your heart racing, your legs trembling. And apparently, he could too. His eyes flicked upwards, the knives glittering as they lifted curiously, slowly, behind him. So graceful. The soft ‘shhh’ sound of metal drifting against metal.

He sighed, and they shimmered in the light. Suddenly, they were both in front of you, and behind you, totally blocking your path. He was so fast; he didn’t usually use his speed anymore with you since he knew it frightened you.

“Nai-”You moved your bag in front of your belly. You weren’t showing yet, but. His eyes followed, head tilting as he walked over to you, almost gliding. Him being so close was overwhelming. The soft scent of lemon and the sharper undertones of metal. You were overwhelmed. You wanted so desperately to tell him, for him to comfort you, to hold him.

“You’re hiding something from me dove.” He murmured and you felt the little cage get tighter around you. His hand on your shoulder, so light. You flinched and he seemed offended, a low growl coming from somewhere in his belly. He leaned into you, and you felt his warm breath as he was… smelling your skin? “Nai? What’re you-?” “I know this smell.” He murmured into your ear. And his hand was on you, lightning quick. Between your bag and your body. Cupping very gently, the spot that you’d been trying to cover. It was warmer than the rest of your body and almost hard. You gasped. He hadn’t given you any time to react.

“Hold still.” He ordered and his voice was pure ice. There was no arguing with him. Only compliance. And you whispered soft no’s, pleaded, all the while cradled in layers of his knives and in his arms as his markings began to snake up his body.

Then, something happened that both of you didn’t expect.

A soft light began to glow between the two of you. From you.

Well- from underneath his fingers. Seeming to respond to Nai’s distress and anger.

Nai quieted almost instantly, something that you’d never seen him do once he began to get riled. His thumb gently rubbing along that light in wonder and his expression softening into something like awe. A few of his tentacles arching, gently caressing that area as well. So careful that you weren’t sure if they’d actually made contact or not.

“An Independent.” He whispered, looking up at you for a moment. More boy than man for just a second, eyes an impossible blue and full of wonder. A miracle for the both of you. Something he’d been trying so hard to achieve.

It was then that your legs gave out. Most likely from stress, and anxiety. Luckily Nai always had limbs to spare. He caught you easily and curled you up to his massive chest, pressing his head to yours and making some small noise of concern. You felt his arms so strong and thick underneath you. And about six or eight of those knife-limbs hovering behind you as well; ready to catch you if you somehow managed to tumble out.

Not that you had any plans. Mostly, you were just exhausted. You grabbed onto his strange skintight garment and buried your face as he rubbed your back. “I apologize. For frightening you.” He muttered, so quietly, so that only you could hear it. You relaxed completely as he carried you around, at times even slipping in and out of the sleep that had eluded you for weeks.

Waking up when you felt him finally stop, shutting the door behind him with his heel.

“Hm? Aren’t you leaving?”

One thing you knew about him: Nai was always busy. Other than occasionally playing the piano he wasn’t exactly the type to sit around watching tv. He slid you into the bed(with blue and white sheets, of course) and sat next to you. Placing a hand over yours and squeezing.

“I’m not.” He met your gaze and you saw another emotion you’d never seen before; guilt. And concern. And self-anger. He swallowed, the knife-limbs swirling and writhing in the air behind him, showing his conflicted feelings. He’d known something was off with you. And you’d been dealing with this alone. Alone!! Carrying his child inside you! Something no other useless human had ever been able to do.

You could feel his low, angry growls; they vibrated the bed slightly.

His eyes narrowed with determination and one of those knives very gently traced along your jawline. So affectionate and gentle and racked with a slight tremor. He was so upset, more so than you’d ever seen him.

“Nai, its okay. It’s okay.” You murmured, taking the leaf-shaped metal and kissing it softly.

“No.” He said, and squeezed your hand once more. Looking into your eyes and saying with determination, “Teach me. How to care for you properly.”

[milomarigold]

Skinny Dipping Shenanigans pt1

Gender Neutral | Suggestive | Baxter Ward x MC

Part 1 | Part 2 

(Art by MELLodrawmatic on Twitter)

                                                   🌲 🌲 🌲

You couldn't believe you were going back to the Rocky Mountains. The fancy mountain lodge you'd stayed in 5 years ago coming into view after a worthwhile scenic drive. Fir, pine and aspen trees as far as the eye could see! What was most surprising is that the same neighbor from so long ago was accompanying you, Mr. Baxter Ward. You turned away from the green forest beyond the car window and towards him.

Did he always look so handsome driving? One hand on the steering wheel at 6 o'clock, his right arm resting on the door ledge. A steady gaze on the road ahead he knew by heart. Warm summer light making him glow and an easy tranquil grin. From your thorough observations, you also noticed gray.

Ever since you two had started dating, you couldn't help but notice this small detail that'd made a younger Baxter so restless. Baxter's hair wasn't naturally black, it was more of a gray. He'd started dying it meticulously when he was 14, bothered that it wasn't exactly black. An "imperfection" he couldn't afford others to notice. So, it surprised you that it seemed he hadn't noticed his natural color resurfacing. It was only about an inch of gray, but that was still more than you'd ever seen from the ever careful Baxter Ward.

Or perhaps he had noticed, but he longer saw it as such a flaw. Perhaps, he felt more secure in showing you this vulnerable side of himself? You hoped so, you thought, smiling secretly to yourself.

"See something you like?" Hm, or perhaps it wasn't so secret. Baxter smirked roguishly at your reaction.

You attempted to recover however, "I can't help it, you look so handsome while you drive!" You said honestly and beamed a smile of your own.

Your bluntness had him chuckling. "Well, I wish I could indulge you longer, but I wouldn't know how to explain to the front desk why we were late for check-in."

"It was a matter of great importance!" You joked and reached for your seat belt once Baxter had stopped the car. He shook his head at your antics but had the softest look in his eyes. The two of you retrieved your luggage and made your way to the log hotel.

You may have been here before, but the familiar grandeur still managed to impress you as the hefty door closed behind you. The inviting hearth of the fireplace, the elegant red rug, stone walls and rustic furniture was still the same with only a few refreshing renovations.

The check-in went smoothly. You both settled into your room/s and ordered room service for dinner. The food was so divine you couldn't resist sending Liz a picture. Baxter came out in frame and you asked him to hold out a piece sign. He did. To which she responded, "Look at you living the high life, with your gentleman suitor!" She also sent you a picture of her having dinner with college friends. You smiled and showed your suitor.

The sky had darked significantly by the time you both finished dinner. So, your food comas suggested you head to bed. The drive had tired you out more than you thought, so you could imagine how tuckered Baxter must be. "Good night," Baxter held the back of your head and pressed a kiss to your forehead, "sleep tight." You were sure you would.

The next day, the two of you walked into the small town for a late breakfast. Afterwards, you both explored the shopping area. While looking at trinkets and souvenirs, you got some gifts for Cove, Terry, and Miranda. "Are you getting something for Xavier?" You looked over his shoulder as he compared several pins.

"Perhaps." he settled on a 4 pack of pastel pins with pictures of the rocky mountains "Yes, these will do." Although he was doing something nice for a friend, his tone resembled a villain picking a poison for their nemesis. Oh, Baxter...

Souvenirs in hand the two of you made your way out and stumbled upon a street performer with a sizable crowd. The Great Who Dini was performing a magic show! You held Baxter's hand and excitedly led him to the front of the crowd. You both watched as he shook his hat, but nothing came out. It was empty, or so the audience thought! The Great Who Dini reached in and pulled out a flurry of petals! You marveled as the petals fluttered around you. Baxter chuckled and clapped along with the crowd, "How delightful!"

The magician bowed with a flourish of his purple cape and a twist of his mustache. You were distracted from the show, however, when you felt your lover remove a petal from your head. Tilting his head to the side with a placid smile. A thought came to you, "You know, The Great Who Dini kinda reminds me of you."

"Because I'm mysterious?" He played with a flip of his wrist.

"Nope, because you're both dramatic!" you quipped with finger guns.

He gaped, a slender hand lifting to his heart as if he'd been shot. Alas, all it did was prove your point.

After the performance, you both made your way towards the lodge. Along the way, was a fork in the road with a sign pointing in different directions. One pointed towards the lake. "If you're not too tired, would you like to take a detour? The lake looks wonderful as the sun sets."

You didn't have an objection to that in fact, especially when there was an ice cream vendor along that path! Baxter paid for both of you. It was delightful to see Baxter choose another comical treat, this time he'd picked one that resembled a blue hedgehog.

Baxter sold it short when he said the lake looked wonderful. It was such a marvel you almost dropped your ice cream! Shades of orange, purple and pink reflected off the glittering water. Best of your boyfriend was in the picture, in more ways than one. That's right, it was the perfect picture opportunity!! You put your arm around his shoulder and prompted him towards your camera. You both smiled lightheartedly. Click!

"It's perfect." He said smiling boyishly at the picture. Then you both took a seat on the dock's edge to finish what remained of your frozen desserts. You gently leaned against him and he did the same. It really was perfect. A comfortable silence followed, until Baxter said something that surprised you. "Seeing the water really makes me want to take a dip."

"The elusive Baxter Ward swimming in a body of water?? Unheard of!"

"It's the uncertain depths of the ocean that frightens me, at least here I can see the bottom." Baxter justified amused. He was right, the pebbles glittered beneath the water.

"I'm just teasing, I'd never actually fault you for being afraid of the ocean. I'm actually proud of you for giving it a chance." You added sincerely, giving his side a hug.

Baxter turned towards you, with an easy gaze, "Thank you,. Honestly, I don't think I would've tried it without you."

It was then that you noticed the ice cream on the corner of his lips. Sensibly, you used your thumb to gently swipe it and try the treat yourself. Nom. "Mm, cherry?"

Baxter watched you, eyes wide. A touch of pink on his marshmallow cheeks. Then his confidence kicked back in, "Yes excellent guess, but there's a second flavor. Care to find out what it is?" You look down at the bit of ice cream that remained on the popsicle stick, and surveyed as he swiftly took it into his mouth. Canine easily dragging the cool treat in. Did he mean to drag the popsicle stick out slowly? Absolutely.

You blushed. However, you liked to think of yourself as a bit of a detective and you couldn't leave this mystery unsolved. You leaned closer, "Yeah, I do." He grinned, eyes lidded and met you halfway. Behaving while you trailed your hand along his jaw and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. He leaned into it eagerly. You noticed his cologne as you kissed him. It was floral, you loved it and lightly bit at his bottom lip. He gladly gave you permission to deepen the kiss. Now what could the second flavor be? He tasted tarte, but sweet.

While you put your detective skills to work, the sneaky dark haired man snaked his arms around your waist. He pulled you against his chest securely. You let out a content noise, wrapping one arm on his shoulders and a hand on his nape. This was a tough mystery, who knew how long the investigation would have to go?

You couldn't help tugging playfully at his hair. Baxter started to groan softly and gently pull at your shirt. Ah, you had it! The second flavor was raspberry! You should let him know you figured it out. Suddenly, you felt yourself moving, Baxter was pulling you onto his lap. Letting him guide your body, you confirmed his lap was better than any chair you’ve ever sat on. His dancer legs could never disappoint. You’d let him know you’d figured out the second flavor later.

Pulling back to take a breath, you started trailing kisses along his jawline. Humming happily he tilted his head back for you. Leaving another smooch behind his ear, you were one kiss away from his iconic beauty mark. His hand traveled down to your thigh- when a strange light flashed across your vision. Strange.

"Hey! You crazy kids, didn't ya read the sign??" The two of you parted startled by the sudden voice calling out to you. An old forest ranger stood holding a menacing flashlight. "No shenanigans allowed!!!"

The two of you looked at each other confused, before Baxter asked the ranger "Pardon? Oh...I see" Both of them directed you to a sign a little bit away that indeed read ‘No Shenanigans!’ in bold red paint. You couldn't believe your eyes and let out a snort of air.

"What?? Do you think this is funny?" Asked the ranger aghast. "Do you know how many juveniles come round here, lighting up fireworks, smoochin’, and causin’ havoc?! Begone, it's past open hours anyways!" It was hard to take the old ranger seriously when he was wearing spectacles and trousers many sizes too big, but neither of you could bear to tell him ‘no' either.

Fixing his hair into place, Baxter cooled "Do excuse us, we hadn’t noticed the time. We didn’t mean to cause trouble. Especially at such a well cared for area such as this. You must be very dedicated to keep the place so gorgeous.” He got to his feet and offered you a hand.

Your lover knew how to charm his way around an older crowd. The old ranger stood taller, flattered "That's right, gotta do my job! People be crazy round these parts, skinny dipping and the such."

"Oh don't worry we wouldn't dare do something so audacious." Baxter assured, straightening his button down shirt.

Your head tilted to the side surprised and asked “People skinny dip around here?” your boyfriend fixed your top to its proper place as well.

The ranger answered, "Yes, that's right! You wouldn’t believe the gall of some youths!” one hand pushed his giant spectacles up his round nose.

Baxter picked up your things and took your hand into his, “We'd wouldn't dare make your job harder, keeping the forest safe is no easy task. That said, we should get going, it's almost our curfew." You knew he was joking, but the ranger didn’t catch that. You both waved innocently goodbye at the ranger who cracked a smile and waved back, “Goodnight, y'all get back safe! …maybe those youngins ain't so bad.” He grumbled, and you left the lake, heading back to the lodge.

When you were far enough away Baxter started holding back snickers, fox eyes glittering in the moonlight. You had to ask "Baxter?"

"Darling, we wouldn't dare skinny dip right?" He flashed a wolfish grin at you. Oh you loved it when he was mischievous! You smirked, encouraging him to continue. "And get caught~" He finished.

"Baxter Alexander Ward, you little devil!!" You gawked nudging his shoulder playfully. Both your laughter rang like bells into the night sky. When you settled, just about reaching the lodge you gave him your answer "Well partner in crime, we better start planning our great escapade."

Your dramatic man looked at you, dead impressed! He hadn't actually expected you to want to go skinny dipping. With a swipe of his dark bangs, he leveled you with a look you'd only ever seen in movies when the villain is planning something evil. "Let us start some shenanigans."

To be continued…

[youreallyshouldtalkmore]

Why is the Question

A.N: Illusions to Malleus Dorm Uniform card, so if you haven't read that vignette, this story may not make sense. I loved that vignette; this is my TWST OC Mia with Malleus after the fact.

Twisted Wonderland Masterlist  

—————————————————-

There was no other word for it. 

Malleus was pouting as far as Mia was concerned. He barely said two words since the Gargoyle Research Society meeting started. Which didn’t bother her any, as sometimes they would sit in companionable silence and observe the gargoyles together. At Ramshackle dorm, tea would often accompany them.

There was no tea today. 

But the key word was companionable silence. 

This wasn’t companionable, as Malleus’ brain was obviously not on the beauty of the Ramshackle gargoyles this evening. 

It wasn’t hard to figure out why Malleus’ attention was elsewhere. 

By now, all of Night Raven College knew about the stunt that the Diasomnia Housewarden had pulled during the previous Housewarden meeting. How could they not when most of the Dorm Leaders had returned to their dorms in a rage? 

Mia simply continued to sketch in her sketchbook. She had already asked if he was alright, and he reassured her before returning inward. She thought, perhaps, he found it a private matter to deal with. 

That’s fine, he knew where to find her. 

Eventually, Malleus heaved a sigh and murmured, “No matter how many times I try to go over it in my mind, I simply cannot understand what went wrong.” 

Mia decided to take this cue since he voiced it outloud and spoke lightly, “Oh, anything I can help with?” 

Malleus blinked and started. Slowly he turned and looked at her as if seeing her for the first time. 

Mia continued her sketching. 

“Ah, Child of Man!! Yes, you are a child of man. Perhaps you would assist me in a matter?” 

Mia only chuckled, “You don’t have to be so formal, what’s up?” 

Malleus started, “Well, you see, it’s like this….” 

Ten minutes later, after Malleus explained the event in great detail, including everyone’s reaction, he was stunned to see a twitch of Mia’s lips. Much like Lilia, she could no longer hold it back and burst out laughing, slamming her sketchbook close. 

Malleus felt a flash of annoyance at this. 

Exactly what was so funny about this?! Was he being made a fool of? 

Mia waved her hand, “I’m sorry! I promise, I’m not laughing at you but hearing a 1st hand account of the event, I mean…” 

“Yes, yes. Very amusing, child of man.” 

Mia managed to contain her mirth, although her eyes still danced. Perhaps it was wise to settle down a little. She could tell that Malleus was beginning to lose his patience the longer he looked at her. She did not want an angry fae on her hands. 

“Malleus, I….” pause. 

“....” 

“.....” 

Sigh. “There is so much to unpack, I can’t do it in the next five minutes.” 

“I have the time.” 

“Yeah, not right now. Listen, let me think about this a little more. This is gonna require a Powerpoint presentation with graphs and everything.” 

Malleus blinked, “Does it really warrant that?” Just how big was this matter that he couldn’t seem to get a grasp of? 

Mia giggled, “Oh, yeah…..”

“Then can you, at least, explain why do you keep laughing? What exactly is so humorous?” 

Mia took pity on Malleus who looked so earnest, “Personally, I find it quite charming.” 

Malleus’ eyebrow shot up, “Charming?” 

“It’s charming and sad at the same time. I have to say, you get an A+ for effort. Using what knowledge you had, you came up with some kind of solution. Didn’t work, but you took some initiative. That should be applauded.” 

Malleus pouted, “Would that others saw it that way….” 

“Ah, well, I do have an edge over them.” Mia shrugged. 

Malleus looked at Mia and raised an eyebrow when she didn’t elaborate any further. 

Mia glanced away once, “Well, I’d like to think I know you a shade bit better than the others. I know that it came from a good place in your heart, and you didn’t mean to hurt, insult or scare them.  Just you and the other’s wires got crossed. However, if I didn’t know you as much as I do, I would probably be insulted as well. ” 

Malleus heaved a sigh, “You as well? This is troubling indeed. This has made me even more aware of the differences between fae and human, but I do want to make some kind of effort. I’m just not sure where to go from here.” 

“Well, for starters, you need to go to the next meeting.” 

Malleus folded his arms, “I cannot if I’m not invited.” 

Mia growled, “You got an invitation the moment you became dorm leader. Even if they are angry, no one will find you rude if you show up. You have just as much right as a dorm leader to be there as them. They don’t like it, their problem. That’s #1. And #2 when you get there the first thing you should do is apologize.” 

Malleus whipped his head towards Mia, with wide eyes. 

Before he could protest, Mia spoke up, “It’s really to just smooth things over. I know you feel you don’t have anything to apologize for, and you don’t understand, but that doesn’t matter. They felt insulted, therefore you are apologizing for insulting them even amidst your good intentions. And Malleus, don’t be condescending about it. That will only make them angrier.” 

Malleus heaved another sigh, “It seems human etiquette is so intricate. I fear I am bound to mess this up, no matter what I say or attempt to do.” 

“Don’t worry about it! We can practice if you like.” 

Malleus smiled at her, “I’d be much obliged.” 

“.....After I try to make sense of this faux paux you have committed….” 

Although Mia was shaking her head at him, Malleus could still see the mirth in her eyes. Perhaps if this child of man didn't think he was that much of a lost cause, perhaps he could see this through. 

“I will look forward to your teaching then.” 

Two days later, Mia had invited Malleus into Ramshackle Dorm. Malleus was surprised to see a huge paper sitting on an easel. True, to her word, Mia tried her hardest to explain why everyone was angry.  Although Malleus didn’t quite get it, he learned that understanding that he offended was much more valuable than the why. 

In fact, Mia quickly shut down his constant question of why. 

“Just as fae has things that are a fact for them, so too, do humans. You don’t have to understand why, you just need to learn and memorize a loose script and accept it as fact. The way you understand is to learn and accept the boundaries. And if you don’t know, ask someone. Between Lilia, Sebek and Silver surely you can get some kind of answer. If not, come ask me. And if I don’t know, ask one of the teachers or Headmage. I’m sure between all of that, we can find some kind of actionable answer.” 

It seemed he had a long way to go, but perhaps if he could start by learning from this child of man, who seemed willing to take time out of her day to teach him. 

Ah, he would have to properly show her his gratitude for this evening. 

[sizzleissues]

alyanette (859 words)

(hey hey its a fun Alya has a crush on Marinette one-shot)

Alya loved being Marinette’s friend, above all else that’s what she’d prioritise. 

It started on her first day in Paris when she saw her. Alya knew in that moment exactly how her life had been up till that point and exactly how she expected it to go from there. Because that was her up until she moved. A shell resigned to her fate until someone could cast a lifeline.

Marinette stood with her back to her, taking the abuse of some blonde chick she’ll eventually learn the name of and her body was just so defeated. Her shoulders slumped, her head bowed and she just took it. Took, took, took, everything thrown at her and blamed herself for not being able to take more. 

Jumping forward to defend her wasn’t even a question in her mind. Alya happily stepped into the firing line and she’d do it again if given the choice. 

If she feared Marinette had become hollowed after living a half-life, those worries were quickly assuaged. The girl had a fountain of strength she didn’t even know she had, offering her half a slightly squished macaroon and sealing their friendship. Everyday Marinette’s ability to be kind no matter the person astounded her. 

She deserved to be angry. She deserved to rage like Alya had years before but she didn’t. It wasn’t until years later when she asked Marinette about it that she explained. 

“Anger scares the bad and good away. You have to use it sparingly.”

That felt so goddamn wise for a sixteen year old to say. Marinette would always be slightly out of everyone's league even if she felt the total opposite. 

“He’s so sweet, I want to put him in my pocket and pat his head.” Marinette cooed in Adrien’s direction, watching the boys order their coffees. Alya’s sigh turned to a dry laugh as her friend continued heart eyeing the retired model.

Sometimes she hated that she was Marinette’s friend.

Her friend and nothing else. 

“You have to tell him that then.”

“I can’t just say that. It’d be weird.”

“Girl, people have been weirder.”

Marinette sighed and brought her hands to her mouth to try to blow some warmth in them. Winter had snuck up on all of them. 

“Here, let me.” Alya took her hands and sandwiched them between her own, gently rubbing them until her friend’s fingers no longer felt like ice. Marinette stayed silent, watching through heavy lashes. 

“I don’t like him like that anymore.”

“Hm?” Alya hadn’t been paying attention. Her thoughts were more centred around the lasting tingle in her fingertips as Marinette withdrew her hands, hiding them away in her lap.

“I don’t love Adrien anymore. He’s just a generally sweet person. Like a dog or bumblebee.”

Alya froze.

“You don’t love him? Is this one of your ‘I can’t love him’ things all over again?”

“It isn’t. I’m a grown woman, I can realise my feelings were just puppy love and nostalgia.”

Alya should have seen it coming. Why hadn’t she seen it coming?

“So that’s it? When did this happen?”

“I realised some other things…” She let her words trailed off as the boys returned, Adrien sliding in next to Marinette. Nino passed her her double espresso which she gratefully took so she would have something to do while her brain failed to process the last thirty seconds. Almost as proof Marinette hadn’t been lying, she started up a conversation with Adrien — not even stopping to take a breath.

Alya played through the last few months in her mind, realising that Marinette had not so much as stuttered or blushed in Adrien’s direction in quite a while. Perhaps the fact it had become such a staple of her friend’s behaviour and the months of college seemed to muddle together into a stressful soup that she hadn’t noticed the change. In the same way she sometimes blinked and remembered she was no longer sharing the room with a small Marinette that needed her help but a strong Marinette who’d learned to fight her own battles long ago. Her friend had changed, she was the one stumbling behind to realise it.

Questioning the change became a top priority — once they are alone again.

“Did you order a double espresso? Don’t you enjoy happiness?” Marinette teased, suddenly looking at her and surprising her out of her thoughts.

“Let me have my depressed businessman drink.” 

“Sure thing, reporter.” Marinette tipped an invisible hat to her and then turned back to Adrien, engrossing herself in their conversation again. Alya noted, with a sting of jealousy, the way he leaned into her. How she brightened and talked animatedly, her hands flying in every direction. She believed her when she said there were no feelings there anymore but she wasn’t quite sure about Adrien. He was suspicious. 

“Are you okay?” Nino asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“You’ve been giving Adrien the stink eye for the last five minutes. Don’t worry, he hasn’t noticed.”

She hadn’t noticed the time pass. What was happening to her? She learned Marinette was no longer on the Adrien train and suddenly everything was out of order. 

“Really? I didn’t mean to.”

Nino’s laugh afterwards contained a knowing she didn’t quite catch.

-

Found this in my wips and tidied it up a bit. The idea of this if it continued was love square but Alyanette. So they get the miraculous in college. Alya crushes on Marinette and Marinette crushes on Chat Noire. This oneshot takes place after they get their miraculous and Marinette moves on from Adrien (who is trans fem but she doesn't know it yet [;) because of her lesbian realization with Chat Noire. (Yes, Adrien was her comphet 'crush' but also she definitely sniffed out the trans egg on them >_<)

I have too many wips but this one is definitely staying in the bank for later once I finish Prince and Baker and two other things. And I write Ladrien pirates and akumanette and a bunch of drawing stuff (plans to animatics, commissions and portfolio work!!) . Basically its there but I have too many ideas to get through first!! lmao

[therisingdarkness]

I read this really introspective piece by @eclec-tech that was based on some amazing art by @cloned-eyes and I was inspired to write a lil angsty blurb. It's not long and it's not much, but I needed to get it out there. I hope it's a short, sweet read for everyone who gives it a shot. I wish I could have written more but the brain worms won't let me work in peace.

~~~

Echo stared at his hand.

Ugly, black stitching attached fingers to palm and wrist to arm, the skin discolored and mismatched from the chemicals pumping through his veins to keep him ‘alive’. Or unalive. He didn’t know what to call this state of existence any longer. It wasn’t living, not in any way it was meant to be.

Surviving, maybe. Every breath drawn labored in his lungs before finally escaping. Every beat of his heart felt like the stutter of a torn drum. His stomach growled and ached from pangs of hunger, his lips dry and chapped, cracking at the corners. His eyes ached because he did not often allow himself to sleep. It was too dangerous and he did not want to be caught unawares. 

His existence, if he could call it such, was made up of a never ending stream of aches and pains and discomfort. He didn’t know anything else, had forgotten the time before when he had felt anything other….

Except….

His friend.

Could he refer to them as such? Was it allowed? Would they look at him with the same warmth and understanding that came before? Would they touch his cheek as tenderly if they knew that he thought of them, often, and dreamed of their face when he finally succumbed to exhaustion?

Today he had initiated the first touch. The tears in their eyes and the waver in their voice…reaching for their hand in a show of support had seemed like the natural thing to do, though he couldn’t exactly recall why. He…he wasn’t sure of much when it came to the fragmented memories of his past, but he was sure there hadn’t been much opportunity for candid touches. Not like that, anyway.

But his friend…they hadn’t flinched at the chill of his skin against theirs. His dry, stiff skin, mismatched fingers—(How many of them were his? How many more belonged to the brothers he had lost? How many of his kin had Wat Tambor butchered to piece him back together?)—closed around their smaller hand and squeezed with a gentility he had to force, but they hadn’t shied away from his touch.

Their expression and reciprocation had inspired a warmth flickering to life within, but now he couldn’t help but lose himself to his thoughts.

Did they know?

Could they understand?

His hand…his arm…too much of him had needed replacing. Tambor had explained very little to him at the time, but his evil genius craved the satisfaction of recognition. 

“It took four of your brothers to make you whole again,” Tambor hummed as he inserted cable after cable into the ports implanted in his skull. It hurt—it hurt, but he had no voice, not yet, nothing with which to cry out. He opened his mouth anyway, a silent scream trapped in his lungs and arching his back as he strained against the heavy manacles trapping him on the examination table.

“Stop squirming. You’ll tear your stitches. Again. Perhaps I should have left you in stasis while I worked…ah, but to see the nerves come alive again, the muscles twitching…no, it’s better this way.”

Four of his brothers…he couldn’t remember their names. He saw their faces in his, but sometimes it didn’t feel right. He hated his likeness and avoided it at all costs. The last time he had accidentally caught a glimpse of himself was in the distorted reflection from a stream he had stopped to drink from, nearly a year ago. 

Thick sutures ran diagonally across his face and from the corners of his mouth down beneath his chin. He could feel them wrapping around his temples and the back of his head, intersecting and branching off, like spiderweb cracks spreading across a sheet of glass. He didn’t want to think about whose jaw was attached to his face, didn’t want to think about the way the circle of flesh surrounding his left eye was a slightly different shade. 

He didn’t know how much of him was…him.

And he didn’t want his friend to question it, though he suspected they soon would. They had asked him so many questions…and he had answered all of them, as truthfully as he knew how because the kindness they had shown him deserved no less than his honesty in return.

But…if they asked him about this….

He curled his fingers toward his palm, squeezing his hand into a fist so tight his nails dug into the worn flesh of his palm. He didn’t bleed, but he felt the biting pain that came from cutting so deep into his skin and breathed a sigh of relief, quickly followed by crushing guilt.

The hand was not his own, nor were the fingers. He felt it deep in his bones, though he couldn’t articulate why. Hurting himself always felt like…a disservice to his brothers, the parts they had sacrificed, perhaps unknowingly—of course, they were dead, stupid, they had to be—shouldn’t be abused further than they already were.

He had already lost his other arm to the mobs that came before his escape into the deeper woods. Deep scars wound up the stump of his bicep from where he had hacked away at his arm with the sharp edge of a rock, pulling and twisting like an animal caught in a trap until the stitching tore free and the muscle pulled back to reveal the glistening white of bone. It had broken easily after that and he had fled, abandoning the remains of his limb in the shackle that had held him.

He could not afford to injure his body further—there was no one else who could fix him. 

…and he couldn’t stomach the guilt that came with every fresh wound, suspecting what he did. 

Echo glanced over at the basket his friend had left with him. In addition to the usual selection of dried meats, fruits, and cheese, there was also a still warm loaf of freshly baked bread and a thin, folded blanket—not much in the way of protection against the harsh winter months, but for the impending cool of autumn, it was more than enough. His stomach growled, louder this time as he looked over the generous selection of food, and he knew it was pointless to put off eating for longer than he already had.

Guilt did not fill an empty stomach.

[kellanved-ammanas]

TF2 Drabbles: TentaSpyDad - An Octopus

Summary: you say "monster AUs" and the word "TentaSpyDad" is beamed into my head. Scout probably takes more after his mother, perfectly human, so finding out his father is... That. would be a shock (but also explain some things, in hindsight)

~

Just when Scout had thought he’d rooted out all of Spy’s secrets – all the ones that were relevant to him anyway as there was likely no one other than Spy himself who knew all his secrets – he was confronted with another one. He’d heard of mermaids who could leave the water to walk on ostensibly human legs for a time before needing to go back to the water. Presumably this was the same sort of magic but instead of a mermaid Spy was…

“An octopus, you’re a fucking octopus. How the hell are you a freaking octopus of all things?”

Spy floating in the private pool he’d apparently had in his room this whole time, his arms crossed on the edge of it frowned up at him. “I’m not an octopus or a squid before you accuse me of that next. The proper term is ‘cecaelia’. And no, before you ask, we’re not related to mermaids. We’re entirely separate species who just happen to share similar traits.”

That had been what Scout had been planning to ask next even if it was the least important of all the questions brought up by this revelation. With it out of the way came a more important one. “How are you my dad and a cecaelia or whatever at the same time? Like, as far as I know, I’m perfectly human. I don’t got a even a single tentacle on me.” Disappointingly because now that he knew tentacles were an option, he’d have loved to have some.

“I’m not sure. I didn’t think I could reproduce with humans even whilst in my human form. Which was why I was less careful than I should’ve been.”

With the initial shock worn off, Scout carefully lowered himself to sit by the pool to get a closer look Spy. The water was clear enough to easily make out the swirl of tentacles that made up his lower body, seemingly starting at the waist. His torso still looked perfectly human. “Are you sure you’re really my dad then?”

“Yes. I believe your mother on that and when you were a baby, I did a DNA test to make sure. You are without a doubt my offspring.” How he felt about that was as hard to tell as ever. Even though he’d taken off the mask before sliding into the pool to reveal his true form to Scout, his expression was still purposefully guarded.

Scout had only known Spy was had dad for maybe a month now and had mostly come to terms with it until this. This was a whole other thing on top of that, making it weirder. Though finding out Spy was a slimy creature from the sea with even more secrets than one would suspect wasn’t too surprising. Speaking of that though… “Why would you tell me about this? I mean you seemed to have no intention of ever telling me you were my dad on your own. So why reveal this so easily?”

Spy took a breath to answer but hesitated as he averted his gaze before finally speak in a voice barely above a whisper. “Because… I want to be more honest with you. And you asked me why I left, this is why. Your mother doesn’t know. I tried for a while but… she would’ve found out eventually if I had stayed and I wasn’t sure how she would take the fact I’d essentially lied to. My kind aren’t exactly well known among humans and not particularly well liked by those who do know. I was worried about what would happen when she found out, both about what might happen to me as well as to you so… I left.”

“Meaning you didn’t leave ‘cause of me?” That’s what Scout had always assumed, that his father had left because he didn’t want anything to do with him. Even after finding out Spy was his dad, he’d felt that way. Spy didn’t seem the type to enjoy being around children so even if he was okay with Scout now, that might not have always been the case.

“Yes. It wasn’t because of you but because I’m a liar. But now you know the truth so do with that what you will.”

Perhaps Scout should thank him for the honesty but considering how long it had taken, he didn’t particularly feel like it. Instead he stood and brushed himself. “All right. I guess I got some more stuff to think about then.” And perhaps some experiments in the water to see if he could get himself to grow a tentacle or two. “See you around, Dad.”

[odder-oddish]

Without Expectation

AKA, the phrase "ace Ace" made me laugh so I made a story about it. A short fic about a newly established relationship with a 2/1 ratio of comfort to anxiety.

Ace's relationship with Felix was like walking on a tightrope. Lean to much either way, and go tumbling down.

More specifically, Ace's physical relationship with Felix was like a tightrope act. In every other way, things were steady, under control. Since that early morning three months ago, when Ace had finally gotten his act together and had a real, adult conversation with Felix, the two had become more comfortable in each other's presence. They shared a living space at the camp, checked in on each other but gave space when needed, and established expectations and boundaries like normal, functioning adults. Felix had needed some time to adjust before they told their friends about the new step in their relationship and Ace had granted it. Ace had some concerns about what that meant for the trials, and they talked about it. In all ways but one, things were perfect.

Which lead to Ace's predicament. He should really be more mature about this, and tell Felix, but it wasn't something he'd told anyone before and despite his bravado and proclaimed self-confidence, Ace was nervous about sharing. Every time they held hands, cuddled, kissed, the puddle of anxiety in Ace's gut grew.

They really needed to talk about it. Ace shouldn't have to steady himself every time Felix held him. He liked things the way they were, and that was the problem, wasn't it. He liked it exactly the way it was.

In the four years Ace spent in the realm before Felix arrived, and the year after before they got together, Ace learned just how damn cold the Entity's realm could be. Not just in temperature, but in bone-chilling loneliness. Dying, or nearly dying, day after day was miserable, numbing. A psychiatrist's wet dream, but living hell for those experiencing it. Ace had been lonely in his life before, knew the feeling of being touch-starved, but out here? It had felt a million times worse.

So when Felix first laid his head on Ace's shoulder, the fuzzy feeling hit Ace like a train. Or perhaps a hatchet. Having someone else to comfort and stay with was a feeling of warmth he hadn't felt in years, and Ace would be damned if he'd let it go now. Curling up with Felix made the good days better and the bad ones sting a little less. And when Felix had first kissed him, at the end of a trial no less? Ace couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so happy, even before the Entity took him.

So yeah, losing this closeness, this feeling, the only physical connection he had with someone out here would be disastrous. If the Entity fed off of hope, losing his relationship with Felix now would leave Ace dried up and empty. He couldn't bear the thought, which was partially why he hadn't said anything yet.

But at the same time, Ace worries about what's supposed to come next. He's not an expert in long-term relationships, but he knows that at some point, there are certain expectations that follow in regards to, well, physical intimacy.

Ok, sex. Ace is a grown man, he can say the damn word. But that doesn't make it any less a touchy subject. At some point, the subject's going to come up. Felix probably will drag his heels, but that's just his style. Ace should be the one bringing it up; he certainly acts like it around camp with his dirty sense of humor and overall demeanor. Most likely, Felix would start to wonder why Ace hadn't propositioned him yet, leading to the same conversation Ace was dreading. He'd ask if he was doing something wrong, and Ace would have to explain that it was his own fault. He just didn't want sex.

Ace had always known he didn't have interest in sex the way most people did. He remembered what time in Vegas, he'd gone to a night club with a couple buddies, and they'd started pointing out which of the other patrons they'd most like to have a night with. While most of them were laughing and leering, Ace just looked around the room, feeling bored. It all just felt, bland.

For awhile he wondered if he just wasn't attracted to anyone. But while he failed in the relationship department, he wasn't spared the unrequited crushes and romantic interests that most people developed. When he stayed in a town for more than a few months, he'd build connections, develop feelings, but never act on them. Not until Felix, that is.

Now, he doesn't know what to do. He really likes Felix, but he really, really doesn't want sex. Sooner or later the question will come up and he's afraid that Felix will be disappointed, or worse, feel guilty for making Ace uncomfortable. Which he's not even doing.

It really doesn't help that Ace is a very touchy person. Whenever he's stressed or too keyed-up from excitement around camp, his favorite way to calm down is to cuddle up with Felix. He's gotten laughs and groans around camp for excessive PDA but who can blame him? It makes him happy, and it helps that his partner is mind-numbingly attractive.

These thoughts have all been on mind as of late, AKA, the last fifteen minutes, because Felix is currently on top of him, kissing him, and Ace is equally elated and terrified. It's his own fault, really. Felix came back from another trial, wearing the olive green variant of his classic suit, a color Ace privately prefers to the navy, and Ace hadn't hesitated flop down on the scavenged mattress they shared and pull Felix down on top of him. Felix had teased Ace's eagerness, so Ace had shut him up with a kiss.

And here they were. Curled up with each other, enjoying the gentle contact. The kisses were soft, chaste, anything but demanding. Ace's hands idly roamed Felix's back. Felix had one hand on Ace's side and the other just beneath his collarbone.

This was perfect, the center of the tightrope. If they could stay just like this forever, Ace wouldn't mind spending the rest of his life in the Entity's realm. It's the prospect of more that terrifies him. And he can't tell if the hand on his side wants to drift lower or if the way Felix shifts on top of him means he expects something or if he just feels restless. Ace really should ask, but what if he does, and Felix backs off? Takes it as a sign Ace hasn't been enjoying every moment of closeness they've shared? Besides, the worry in the back of his head is nothing compared to the warmth spreading through his chest. He's happy like this, so he'll keep his mouth shut as long as he has to.

Which lasts all of another five minutes.

Because when Felix pulls away, rises up to his knees, and shrugs off his jacket, all the while looking down at Ace with a gentle smile, Ace panics. He slides back, knocking Felix off of him and sprawling onto the mattress, and sits up.

Felix swears loudly in German, and Ace realizes why. Because he'd been in the process of taking off his jacket, the sleeves trapped his arms behind is back. When Ace knocked him off, he'd landed roughly on his arm, bending it in an unnatural direction. "What was that?"

"Shit, Felix. I'm sorry," said Ace. He helped Felix back into a sitting position and pulled the jacket the rest of the way off. "I just didn't know what you were doing and I guess I panicked."

Felix was still wincing in pain, but now he also looked confused. "I just, ouch, I just wanted to change out of this suit."

"Oh. Yeah that makes sense. I get it." Ace began to ramble, embarrassment quickly setting in. "I guess I didn't really give you a chance, jumping you as soon as you got back. Guess I just wasn't thinking."

Felix nodded along, not really listening as he rubbed his sore arm. Then, he slid his vest and shirt off, wincing as he did. He went over to the trunk he kept his extra clothes in and fished out a soft, light blue t-shirt with a koi fish design. Then, he traded his dress pants for the silver pajama pants that Ace had stolen on more than one occasion.

"We should probably talk about what happened," said Felix.

"Yeah, I messed up. I'm sorry," said Ace. Even though he really wanted to go back to cuddling, Felix was right. He sat on the edge of the mattress and Felix joined him.

"I'm not upset with you, Ace. I'm worried about you. You seemed, scared. Scared of me." There's a pained look on Felix's face. He looks as if he's about to cry. It's a gut wrenching sight, seeing Felix look at him as though he'd done something wrong.

"No, I just got in my own head. This is all my fault," Ace said. He couldn't help but lean into Felix, pressing their sides together. "I thought you were coming on to me and wasn't prepared." Wasn't prepared. What a terrible way to describe it. Ace would never be prepared, what was wrong with him.

Felix nodded, but didn't seem convinced. He was quiet for a long time, staring at the dirt beneath him. "But, you seemed scared. Did you think that, I was going to-" he swallows and takes a deep breath. Ace know what's coming before Felix says it, and his heart breaks. "That I was going to force you to do something."

"No! No, it was nothing like that, I swear. I know you'd never try anything like that. I just, it's hard for me to talk about."

Felix relaxes as Ace speaks. He rests a comforting hand on Ace's knee. "Will you try? I don't want to cause you any worry."

"You don't cause any. It's just me, overthinking everything." Ace took a deep breath and covered Felix's hand with his own. "I'm asexual."

He's not really sure what to expect. He certainly isn't expecting Felix to flip his hand around so he can hold Ace's and smile. "Oh, is that all?" Ace's mouth hangs open in shock and Felix quickly amends his statement. "All that was on your mind?"

"Yeah. I mean, that and I didn't want to disappoint you. I mean, I don't know how important sex is to you, but I just didn't want to make you upset or anything."

"It's not important to me at all."

Another major surprise. "Really. You do relationships without caring about sex, like at all?"

Felix shrugs. "Maybe not always." He barks out a laugh. "But Ace, we spend hours a day covered in blood, live outside in a shared space with twenty other people without a sliver of privacy, and last night, I found two rats chewing the mattress. I'm not sure what kind of sex you envisioned me wanting, but here? Absolutely not."

Ace is laughing too. He remembers when Felix first arrived, absolutely appalled by the prospect of living outside 24/7. He was disgusted by all things nature, from the dirt stains on his clothes to the small bugs that roamed everywhere. Now, he'd adapted like the rest, but now that Ace thought about it, there was a big difference between dealing with the outdoors out of necessity and choosing to have sex in a habitat shared with all sorts of critters.

"Yeah, that makes perfect sense," he admitted, stretching out his legs. Felix is quiet again, but this time it's an easy, comfortable silence.

"If you don't mind me asking, how come you didn't tell me, when we had that conversation about expectations a month ago?" he asked finally.

"Because I was afraid I'd lose this," said Ace, leaning more firmly against Felix to make his point. "I didn't realize how lonely I was until you. I like the others, but just, having someone to hold makes a big difference." Ew. That sounds really mushy, even for him.

Felix must have appreciated the sentiment, because he pulls Ace into a strong, warm hug and holds him there for awhile. "You think you were touch-starved then?"

"For a long time probably." His voice is muffled as he speaks into Felix's shoulder. "I mean, back in my old life, didn't exactly have anything like this. People don't exactly go out to bars and say, hey, wanna go to my place and cuddle all night with our pants on?"

That makes Felix laugh again. It's such a comforting sound, hearing his partner at ease despite the difficult conversation. "No, I don't suppose they do. But just to be clear, tonight aside, have I made you uncomfortable with anything?"

"Nah, I think it was more that you didn't know what was bothering me and I was scared to talk about it. But I'd give away my flashlight collection before I'd put a stop to what we have."

"That's a bold statement."

"Well I happen to feel quite strongly about it." He pauses. "But I was really scared that if I told you, you'd stop wanting to touch me because you'd be nervous about doing something wrong."

"I can assure you, I won't. You get all pouty when I don't cuddle you."

Ace immediately pulls away. "Hey! I so do not."

Felix doesn't respond, just reaches up to cup Ace's cheek and kiss him. He looks smug. The confidence looks good on him. Ace is just about to suggest that they go back to lying down and picking up where they left off when there's a tapping sound on a tree behind them. He turns to see Dwight standing behind them, fist against a nearby tree.

"Dude, there's no door. Why are you knocking?" asked Ace. His voice was hoarse as he spoke.

"Sorry, I just didn't want to interrupt."

"Well, you have, so what's up?"

"We were wondering if you wanted to come play poker," said Dwight.

Ace looked at the younger man, then back at Felix, who still hadn't moved his hand away from his face. He broke the contact to pull his jacket closer to him and fish the deck of cards out of his pocket, tossing them to Dwight. "Knock yourselves out."

Dwight and Felix looked equally stunned. Ace had rarely turned down a game. "Are you sure you don't want to?" asked Felix.

"Well, yeah, but I don't want to leave you," said Ace. To his surprise, Felix stood up before offering him a hand.

"Come on, then. I'll join the game too."

Beaming, Ace took the hand and let Felix pull him to his feet. They followed Dwight back to the campfire and sat down on an open log.

"Dwight, why don't you deal first," said Ace, refusing to let go of Felix's hand to take the cards.

The game began, and Ace was soon distracted by the cards in front of him, strategizing on how best to play each hand. But he found he wasn't taking the game as seriously as usual, letting other survivors bluffs get past him and folding more readily in favor of leaning against Felix. After a few hands, Felix slipped his free arm around Ace's waist, and Ace absolutely did not squeak, thank you very much.

He'd never thought he'd find a stable relationship, not before the Entity and certainly not after. Especially with someone so understanding, kind, and gentle (and also really, really hot.) But here he was with Felix, defying all the odds. A warm sensation bubbled up in his stomach again, but this time, there was no fear, no anxiety. Just love.

Tbh, I don't know that I see Ace as actually being.... ace. But this made for a really cute fic that I enjoyed writing, and I hope y'all enjoyed reading. :)

[warlordfelwinter]

exercise/exorcise

all the post lightfall oc chats with @chasing-kitsune keep making me think about delphi's fireteam. fireteam duck duck goose is canon. to me.

mirei takes delphi out for some hunter style therapy

guardian ocs, gen, post lightfall, ~1100

++

“Delphi, eyes up.” 

Delphi looked up just in time to duck under the gun that had been thrown at him. He watched Hawkmoon clatter onto the floor behind him and then looked at Mirei. The hunter leaned in his doorway, cleaning under a nail with her knife, looking for all the world like she hadn’t just tried to take his head off with his own gun. 

“What?” he asked, voice coming out a little sharper than he intended. He wasn’t exactly pleased to see Mirei, though it was no fault of hers. He wasn’t really pleased to see anyone anymore. Artemis had accused him of turning into Osiris, which was clearly meant as an insult. 

“Pick that up, we’re going on patrol,” Mirei said, nodding toward Hawkmoon. 

“Why?” 

She sheathed her knife and crossed her arms, staring at him for a long moment. He could see thoughts working behind her gaze, innumerable things she was thinking about saying. In the end she shrugged. 

“You need to kill something.” 

Delphi stared at her for a moment, trying to think of some way to argue. Mirei would leave him alone, if he asked. But it was unlike her to come get him like this. Usually her requests for him to come back to the fireteam were lighthearted, joking about dragging him into Crucible or something. There was something in her eyes this time that made him pause. She almost looked concerned, but not in the same way that everyone else was looking at him lately. 

In the end he just stalked over and snatched Hawkmoon off the floor. 

“Fine.” 

**

“Did Artemis let you into my vault?” 

With a crack, Mirei freed her trophy from the head of a dead Hobgoblin. One of quite a few in their immediate surroundings. She held up the broken eye with a grin, tossing it into the air once and catching it before her Ghost squirreled it away. She sheathed her knife and sat down next to Delphi on the ledge. 

“Yes,” she said, in response to his question. “Because she agreed with me that you needed to kill something.” 

“Did she…” 

Artemis made no reply. 

Mirei gestured at the piles of broken and tangled metal in the snow field below them. Some burnished and steaming, some impaled on solidified stasis, some still crackling with arc, some with limbs simply ripped off. “I barely did any of that,” she said. 

Delphi tapped Hawkmoon in his hand. “You’re worried about me,” he guessed. 

“Nah,” she said, dropping back into the snow. 

“Everyone else is,” he said. He looked out over the snow field. They were sheltered on their ledge from the howling wind that stirred up snow as it swept across the landscape. Delphi’s Light hummed, burning hotter to keep him warm in the frigid air. 

He thought back to the first time he had come to Europa, his first tentative steps into the Darkness. It felt strange to think about now, when he could wield Darkness just as easily as Light. Just as easily. Even now. His Light felt strange now, but it still came when he called, still leapt to his fingertips just as swiftly, still burned through his enemies just as powerfully. 

“They all talk as if it’s dead,” he said. “And they look at me like they pity me.” 

That was the worst. The pity in the Vanguard’s eyes as they tried to explain to him what they’d seen the Witness do. What he’d felt standing beneath the Veil. They all looked at him like he was going to fall apart any moment. Even Crow. Even his sister. He didn’t want pity. He wanted revenge. 

Delphi lifted Hawkmoon, aiming down the sights. It was thrumming with Light, eager to be released. As his finger started to squeeze the trigger, that burning need for vengeance took him back. Perhaps it was Artemis that pushed the memory forward, and for just a moment he saw Uldren. 

Delphi smiled, humorlessly, and pulled the trigger. The last shot in the cylinder rang out, chased by Light, that bird-like call echoing out into the emptiness of the Asterion Abyss. He lowered the gun and dropped back into the snow next to Mirei. 

“Do you feel better?” Mirei asked, after a while. 

Delphi thought about that. It had felt good to exercise some of his pent up anger on the Vex. But as the feeling ebbed, he was still angry. It was grief. That was what Artemis kept telling him. But it felt like fury. And beneath it he just felt… lost. Empty. Silent. 

“No,” he said. 

“Do you want to find more Vex?” 

“No.” 

“Do you want to go home?” 

“... No.” 

“Do you want to lay here and slowly get covered in snow and freeze to death, never to decompose and to be discovered in a million years perfectly preserved?” 

Delphi smiled, despite himself. “Yes.” 

Mirei snorted. “All right. Carinae, clear my schedule.” 

Delphi looked at her, narrowing his eyes slightly. “You are worried about me, aren’t you?” 

“No,” Mirei said, returning the look. “Because I know you and I know you’ll be fine eventually. Once you put the Witness down like you did Uldren, and then we’ll all just have to pray it doesn’t come back as your new boyfriend.” 

Another bark of laughter escaped Delphi, surprising him again. 

“How do you know?” 

“We’ve been a fireteam since the Red War,” she said. “I know you.” 

Delphi looked back at the sky, feeling strange. The cold of the snow was starting to seep up through his robes and he focused on that instead, trying not to think about how quiet it was. The wind howled and underneath it he could hear every shift of armor and snow as he breathed, as Mirei breathed. And yet it was still so silent. 

“How is Lox, anyway?” he asked, looking for a subject change. He knew Mirei kept an eye on their wayward third, whether she would admit it or not. 

“Keeping herself busy,” she said. “Giving Spider a run for his money, I think.” 

Delphi huffed, the soft laugh puffing out into the air and crystallizing, quickly pulled away by the wind. 

“Maybe we should go visit her,” he suggested after a moment. 

“You think?” 

“Yeah.” He shouldn’t. He should go back to the Tower. Go back to Neomuna. Help find a way to follow the Witness. But his voice was never loud in a room with Osiris or Ikora or Eris or Mara. So many understood paracausality and all that came with it better than him. He was a mouthpiece and he’d been cut loose. 

“The Vanguard can spare my help,” he said, looking at Mirei. “I want to break something.” 

[cherubchoirs]

Can Revived V1 feel emotions? If so how does it feel at first? Is it the same when it feels others emotions?

it can!! v1 has always had the capacity for deeply complex emotions, but it tended not to dwell on things because it never really saw the point in doing so - v1 is primarily a being that engages with its senses and with its physical world, so unless expressing the emotion would immediately affect something, it rarely engaged with them for too long. however, once it's resurrected, it finds itself thinking much longer on existential emotions, its incorporated angelic side given to much more philosophical thought. it's odd for v1, finding itself lost in thought far more than it ever has been as it contemplates more difficult emotions that it often neglected as a machine. in fact, it loses a lot of time at first because it fails to realize when it disengages from the world and gives all of its resources over to thinking over its feelings, why it's feeling them, and where they stem from. v1 was never a daydreamer in the slightest, so it's a bit confusing for it as well frustrating in a way, but it eventually readjusts to have a better balance - it becomes far more open to the full spectrum of its emotion than it once was but it learns to experience them without getting caught in loops lasting hours examining them.

feeling other's emotions is INCREDIBLY off-putting to it though and represents one of its biggest struggles in adjusting to its new existence. v1 wasn't made to have empathy and it only experienced it minimally before this - it developed understanding of gabriel's emotions and slowly learned to recognize them to be sympathetic, it could share in his pain, but actually conceptualizing his experience simply wasn't in its nature. additionally, this was largely confined to gabriel and perhaps, though even then more limited, to the few friends it may have made. so. having to now experience others' emotions in a very real way felt invasive and alien at the start, overloading it to the point that v1 likely did everything it could to isolate itself. it takes gabriel a bit of time to figure out what's going on, with v1 even distancing itself from him considering how intense his emotions are directly after its resurrection. it honestly believes itself to be severely malfunctioning, emotions regularly overwhelming it until it finds itself examining this intensity to conclude all of it is coming from external sources. those emotions are not its emotions, they are instead put onto it and it then experiences them as if they are its own. this leads to a particularly long thought session, which it's only broken out of by gabriel and leads into it clumsily attempting to explain what it's just discovered. but gabriel knows now, understands what it's saying even if it can't find easy words to describe it because he knows it doesn't have those words.

and again, after it spills out those largely garbled thoughts, gabriel apologizes to it. he knows he put a lot on it by doing this, and he knows he didn't fully think through the complications that would come out of it even if he was successful. he relates to it very much though, with his transition into a fallen angel being anything but smooth, and he promises to do as much as v1 had for him in that time. v1, on the other hand, is just relieved that he knows exactly what it's talking about and can offer it an explanation lol like i mentioned before, v1 is highly adaptable and by nature is used to handling wild changes to its functioning after spending what must have been years in development...but it's nice to finally have someone that doesn't expect it to make all those adjustments on its own. gabriel will be there to assist it and adjust accordingly with it, and that really quells a majority of any of the anxiety it might have held as a result of its resurrection

[not-quite-there-myself]

STUDY BUDDIES !

A small scenario collection in which Master Attendant stresses over their studies... Worriedly, a Food Soul close to them offers their assistance.

Feat. Raindrop Cake, Brownie, & Beer.

A/N: Trying a new format style—please enjoy ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ~☆ can you tell I love writing for favourites?

Reblogs are greatly appreciated!

Raindrop Cake

He's not quite sure why he'd come knocking on your door. Perhaps it was your loud groaning that brought him to you, or perhaps it was the decreasing amount of breaks you took outside. Whatever the case, Raindrop Cake knocked. Once, then twice.

You spoke through the door, telling him to come in. Raindrop hesitated before turning the knob.

You turned to see the pink haired Food Soul, sitting in his wheelchair at the door. "Am I bothering you?" Raindrop Cake asked, unsure. You shook your head.

You walked over and opened the door wider. Letting him in, you asked Raindrop Cake what was wrong. "...I would ask you the same thing, Master Attendant," Raindrop replied. You closed the door, slow, and with a sigh. You hesitated slightly, telling him that the reason behind your miserable state is rather silly.

"I'm not so sure I can agree with that." Raindrop Cake frowned. "Something silly shouldn't stress you out so much." You supposed he could be right, but was it so wrong to think that maybe you should be worrying for a better reason? No matter how hard you studied, you felt so unprepared, like all the work you did was for nothing. Your expression worsened at the thought.

Raindrop Cake was patient when you eventually told him about your studies. He listened as you ranted and rambled as much as your heart desired. Afterwards, he said, "That sounds like a lot." It's true, because it was. At least, that's what it felt like.

"How about you teach me?" He said.

You perked up at his suggestion; you asked what he meant by that. Raindrop Cake seemed to fiddle with his hands for a moment, trying to figure out how to put his thoughts into words. "Someone told me once that when you want to get better at learning something, teaching someone else can help you understand it better," he explained. "It was just an idea, you don't actually have to do that if you don't want to."

Whether you've heard about that technique before or not, you thought it was an excellent idea. You decided to take him up on that offer, asking him if he was sure about it. Raindrop Cake looked surprised. "If it helps you, I... I wouldn't mind being taught by you."

If he was being honest, he didn't think you'd find his suggestion all that helpful. But now, whenever the two of you had the time, you began teaching Raindrop Cake all about whatever it was you were studying. Any notes you'd made previously were also helpful: as Raindrop Cake read over your notes, you explained what exactly was on the paper in more detail. There would sometimes be a back and forth discussion. You did stumble sometimes, but with Raindrop Cake to help learn along with you, you were able to better your already existing knowledge.

To your surprise, Raindrop Cake was quite good at asking questions for you to answer. Sometimes there were days where he took the initiative, taking you by surprise.

"Master Attendant, could you teach me about this?" Raindrop Cake had one of your note papers in his hand. You quickly recognized it and explained the material the best way you could. You had gotten more confident about the things you studied. Noticing this, Raindrop Cake seemed to smile at your answer.

Brownie

Your head slammed onto your desk, catching the attention of a certain dark haired butler. He practically jumped at the sound, his blue eyes quickly spotting your slumped over figure. Taken aback, he asked, "Master Attendant, are you alright?!"

When you told him "no," he was all over you. Not overbearingly so, but the amount of questions he asked right out of the gate was a little... a lot. You told him you were just upset because of your studies, telling him about your frustration: how difficult you found it to be and how dumb you felt for not knowing it as well as you felt you should.

It comes as a surprise to you when he could, admittedly, relate to the feeling of inadequacy. As a butler, Brownie strives to assist his master to the best of his ability. Having said that, there are times where he still has trouble knowing exactly how to help certain situations, what the best remedies are, how to deal with a few instances. There is a mist of uncertainty, a worry that he might not be doing the best he could be.

"May I see what it is you're studying?" Brownie asked. You obliged and showed him your material, any textbooks or handwritten notes would do. You pulled up another chair for him so he could sit down as he skimmed through.

With a myriad of skills and talents at his disposal, Brownie is also well organized and diligent. If you asked, he could probably figure out a system or schedule for you to follow. But instead, you asked him if he could help alongside you, one on one. "Like a sort of studying partner?" He asked, to which you replied with a nod. Brownie looked through the material some more before nodding himself. "Alright, I can do that."

The thought of being study buddies with Brownie made you feel relieved.

"Rest assured, Master Attendant. Even if things don't work out on the first try, I still have a few ideas that might be able to help you. It all depends on the kind of style you study best in. And, ah, I will try to be the best 'study buddy' to you, as you put it." You smiled, giggling with a hand over your mouth. Brownie tilted his head at that. "Is something funny, Master Attendant?"

You shook your head; you refrained from telling Brownie that the way he said "study buddy" was only funny to you because it came out of his mouth, which was so serious in contrast to the silliness of what he said. Seeing as you had no further comments, Brownie began to organize himself accordingly. "In that case, are you ready to start?"

Beer

It had been raining all week and the work never seemed to lessen, nevermind stop. You normally didn't mind the rain, but as the days passed you began to feel more weary. Your energy had also begun to slip as if being washed away by the rain.

It didn't take long for Beer to take notice of your weariness. Whether you liked it or not, it wasn't exactly something you could hide. And so he began to pester you about it like there was no tomorrow. You had insisted Beer that you were fine for what had to be more than the tenth time that hour.

"You can tell me you've never felt better, Master. Please just let me help you out!" Seeing you pout, he added, "I promise whatever you're stressing about isn't stupid."

He was right, it wasn't stupid. Studying for tests is a very normal thing. Doing homework is a very normal thing. It wasn't stupid. But you felt stupid, and you didn't want to trouble anyone further.

You had done drills upon drills of memorization, spent hours upon hours reading, rereading, writing, and thinking... Stars above, just the thinking seemed to make your head spin. You practically did every trick in the book on how to be a good student, even going so far as to test yourself out loud.

You were sure your studying sessions had to be an annoyance to somebody, because there was no way no one overheard you after just how loud your stressed state seemed to make you vocalize. You honestly hoped that wasn't the reason Beer decided to pester you now.

You eventually confessed your feelings of frustration, no longer running away from Beer's badgering. You explained what you were studying for, what made you so stressed, and maybe a little more. He had stopped, surprised at first, but happy to listen as you kept talking.

Beer put a hand on your shoulder, sitting you down. "And you say you've done everything you can, but you're still feeling unprepared?" You nodded. He sat down beside you. "It sounds to me like you're scaring yourself, Attendant."

You looked up at him, your expression unsure.

Beer gave you a smile, something that seemed playful yet reassuring. "From what I hear, you've gone and tried and done everything you possibly could have- well, maybe except for one thing." He noticed a spark flash in your eyes, but you held your tongue and let him continue. "All I'm saying is that maybe you should be giving yourself more credit... and maybe some more breaks too, hehe."

"...To backtrack on what I said earlier though, it seems like you want to know what else you could've done, right?" It was true. Even with all this reassurance, you still wanted to exhaust all your study options. He seemed to know that just as well as you.

Living for so many years, Beer had become knowledgeable in many aspects of human culture. Along with his love for recording information in ballads and poems, he learned various ways of doing things—ways of studying was no exception.

"Why don't we try studying together?" He suggested. "You've done everything in your power to study alone, but what about trying to work with a friend?"

So that's how you got here: sitting with Beer, books and pencils and papers scattered everywhere on your desk. After forcing you to take a long deserved break, you reviewed everything you needed to know. With Beer alongside you, he encouragingly gave you pointers on things you could improve, as well as praising your determination and knowledge.

"See? You're doing so well already! With my help, I'm sure you'll have this solidified in no time!"

When you're satisfied, he suggested the two of you go and get something to drink. You've worked hard, and that deserves some reward, wouldn't you agree?

________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ Please do not copy, repost, or translate, thank you !

[nav-i-nav]

My thoughts regarding Sunny and Basil’s relationship

The brainrots are strong, and this one’s long, so bear with me, okay?

So the game is insistent on one thing: Sunny and Basil are best friends. But due to the lack of context in the real world and the unreliable interactions we have on Headspace (let’s be honest, a lot of Headspace was probably based on Sunny’s POV, therefore lacking some credibility) we don’t really know why.

This post is to explain why I think that is; it's the conclusion I came to and the one I like, but of course, everyone is entitled to their own ideas!

TL;DR: To Basil, Sunny is someone he can trust and he can rely on to listen to him. To Sunny, Basil is an interesting person, someone he can learn new things about.

To me, Basil sees Sunny as his best friend simply because he sees himself in him. Basil is a shy person by nature, clearly shown by the fact he didn’t approach the rest of them but was rather introduced by Aubrey. We know his parents have been absent from his life for a long time, and we don’t know much about his life before he meets everyone. I believe Basil never had a lot of social interaction ever since he was little, and therefore is quite concerned he might do something wrong which will make people abandon him, just like his parents did.

So, how does this relate to him and the way he sees Sunny?

In Basil’s eyes, Sunny is the most similar to him in a way. They don’t talk often, waiting for others to start the conversation. Perhaps Basil felt most safe with him, seeing how passive Sunny is. And that allowed him to open up. That’s why Basil trusts him, why he ends up venting to Sunny, and why he considers him to be his best friend. We see it in Headspace.

“And these… These are white tulips. Tulips aren’t very flashy plants. They’re not too big or small, not too elaborate or flamboyant.”

“If I could put it in another way… I guess I would say that… they’re comfortable. Simple, modest, and perfect. Just like Sunny.”

Comfortable. Basil feels comfortable with Sunny. To him (or at least according to the tulip’s description), that’s what Sunny means to him. Basil struggles with trusting others, we see this multiple times throughout the game, like when he hesitates to ask for help to get his photo album back. Basil trusts Sunny and feels heard whenever he talks about his feelings to him.

This isn’t the first time Sunny is referred to as a good listener. Aubrey also states Sunny used to hear her troubles when they were younger. The same might be true for Kel, though I doubt it considering Kel’s tendency to push aside his own troubles (something I also wish to discuss). So this isn’t what made Basil like and form a bond with Sunny. Then, what is?

The answer, in my opinion, is the fact Sunny listens. Aubrey and Kel take on more dominant roles, the same with Mari. Hero is a good choice to go to, but I don’t think Basil would have the same trust he has in Sunny for Hero. Not because he distrusts him or anything, it could be something as simple as an age gap. If Basil went to them to vent, they would probably try to give him advice on how to solve it or distract him. Basil doesn’t want that, he wants to be listened to.

There is a big difference between hearing someone and listening. And Basil feels Sunny does exactly that.

Sunny is a passive person, he wouldn’t interrupt Basil just to give him advice. Basil probably didn’t have anyone else for a long time besides his grandma, and even then thanks to their difference in age there’s a lot his grandma wouldn’t be able to understand. Sunny solves that problem. Basil feels someone is finally listening to him for the first time in years. And he is grateful. He feels Sunny is the only one who genuinely listens, so he’s his best friend.

On the other hand, Sunny is the opposite. He doesn’t share his thoughts (in a verbal way at least), and he doesn’t express his emotions as much as the others do. Why? There could be various reasons. For example (and based on personal experiences), he could think his emotions would put Mari under more stress than she already is, therefore he hides them so as not to be an inconvenience to her. He could simply not be comfortable talking about it. He could think his emotions would be brushed off, much like Kel’s parents do with him.

This doesn’t mean he isn’t sensitive. In fact, I believe Sunny is probably the most emotional of the group. I base this off Omori, which is ironic considering he was created as a way to repress his feelings. Omori, besides the bosses and Basil in the Boss Rush, is the only character with three emotion phases. Of course, this can be acknowledged as a simple way to foreshadow his role as the “final boss” of the game during the true ending.

I like to think differently, though. Headspace isn’t the real world. He can freely express himself in a world that doesn’t exist. Perhaps he feels regret he waited too long to show he was upset about the recital, and doesn’t want to make the same mistake.

In any case, in the real world, Sunny doesn’t express his emotions as much as he does in Headspace. People find him hard to read, but Basil could be an exception. He is known to be good at reading others, we can see this thanks to a picture he took at the tree house.

“They're so easy to read. They can't hide anything on their faces!”

Sunny is no exception to this. We can see this in the flavor text from the photo album.

“Sometimes I feel like I'm bothering him, but he never seems to mind.”

“It took forever, but looks like he's enjoying himself.”

“Me and Sunny have been hanging out a lot, but I'm sure he still misses her a lot.”

In all of these pictures, Sunny has the same neutral expression. Yet Basil can tell, or at least guess how he feels. The only other person who could be able to do this is Mari. This is because of everyone in the group, Sunny is the closest to them.

There is a particular photo that really interests me.

“(3/10): Me showing Sunny a book I've been reading. Mari stole my camera and took this when I wasn't paying attention. I should really keep better track of my things.”

Notice Sunny’s expression. Besides the pictures taken on his birthday, this is the only other time he’s this expressive. And what makes it so interesting is that neither Sunny nor Basil were aware of the picture being taken. They’re just being themselves, not forcing a smile or anything.

I like to believe Sunny thinks of Basil as someone he can learn from. To me, Sunny is an extremely curious person, this is reflected by Daddy Lonlengs’ dialogue.

“The Dreamer grew weary of his room and created a door that led to many different worlds.”

“Slips and falls. Tumbles and drops… The Dreamer’s curiosity and clumsy exploration eventually led him to a certain world.”

Sunny is curious by nature, constantly looking for a way to satisfy it. This is why he is so creative, his imagination allowing him to create Headspace. Basil has different preferences, he knows about plants, he likes to read and it is stated that Basil likes art. To Sunny, he must be a knowledgeable person.

Therefore Sunny feels drawn towards Basil. He enjoys his company because he learns new things. He cares about what Basil says because to him it’s new information. We can assume the segment in-game where we learn of each flower Basil relates his friends to was based on a real-world conversation he had with the others. We know Sunny read the book Basil showed him thanks to the photo album.

Sunny cares about what Basil has to say because he finds it interesting. Therefore, Sunny finds Basil interesting. When he listens to Basil, he cares, yet he also treats it as a way to learn about him. He’s observant, which is why he remembers things so well. He may not be talkative, but he processes everything around him, watching constantly and memorizing.

I feel Sunny doesn’t know how to handle well his emotions. And Basil, being similar to him in the fact they’re both introverted and quiet, probably gave him a model to follow. Someone to learn from. We can see this with their follow-up moves in the Boss Rush. Basil directly affects Omori’s emotions, both of them becoming sad, angry, or happy after the chosen follow-up. Note the only other character to ever influence Omori this way without using a skill or toy is Kel. (Again, something I want to touch on another post)

By seeing Basil, Sunny started showing more emotion more and more. If Basil was happy about something, he was too. Perhaps he started feeling more comfortable sharing how he felt with Basil, precisely because he trusted him in turn. Yet Sunny is still reserved. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t trust Basil, but he’d rather not bring his problems up.

Why? Maybe because of the same reason he never brought up just how frustrated he was with the recital. Perhaps hearing Basil talk about his worries discouraged Sunny from talking about his own because he felt telling his friend about them would only make him more stressed. Yet he still trusts him, he’s still openly emotional with Basil, and he still likes his company.

This is true both before and after Mari’s death.

When Mari died, Basil trusted Sunny. He knew his friend could never do anything as horrible as killing someone, especially when that someone is his sister. He trusted all of this was just a horrible accident, that something made Sunny act like this. But that was the truth and Basil refused to see it, afraid he would lose the only person who truly listened to him, once again being left alone.

On the other hand, Sunny was in the middle of a panic attack, he was confused and scared, still processing the shock of what he did. He didn’t know what to do, so he trusted Basil. Because Basil knows what to do, he has a plan, he’s telling him everything is going to be okay. And why wouldn’t Sunny trust him? Basil is his friend.

Even after four years, this is the core of their relationship.

Basil still believes Sunny will come for him, that he won’t leave him alone just like everyone else did. He waits every day, suffering in silence because no one will understand his pain the way Sunny does.

Sunny isn’t any different. Because despite locking himself up and denying the truth, Basil knows. Basil will always remember the truth. Whether it is in a dream or the real world, even if Sunny no longer sees him as a friend but as a stranger, one fact remains the same.

That Basil witnessed the fight at the stairs, he saw Mari fall, and he tied the noose around her neck.

Of course, Mari’s passing won’t erase the memories they have of each other. It is even stated at the beginning of the game.

“These are all of our memories together… They’re a little sad now… But we should be happy that they happened at all…”

But trauma isn’t overcome so easily. And so, we reach the confrontation between the two of them.

Basil cares about Sunny. He is his best friend after all. But he’s also hurt. He feels betrayed because after waiting all this time, when Sunny comes back, it’s to say goodbye; this time forever.

If he had a hard time trusting people before, this only made it worse. Basil doesn’t have a lot of confidence in himself and after being abandoned by his friends, and being on the receiving end of harassment definitely took a toll on him.

Although subtle, we know Basil feels insecure about his relationship with the others, often wondering if he’s a burden or if he’s bothering them.

“I thought my friends forgot, but they all surprised me with a strawberry cake.”

“Sometimes I feel like I'm bothering him, but he never seems to mind.”

“Hehe... I hope they don't mind the photo.”

It’s hard for Basil to trust people, even himself. He’s afraid of his friends leaving him, forgetting him. He doesn’t want them to be mad at him. And all these thoughts only increase after Mari’s death. His paranoia gets so bad he can’t think straight. He’s stressed and fears something is going to literally eat him. Any trust he had in others is lost, as his thoughts become irrational due to paranoia. He refuses to accept the truth.

But Sunny is a direct trigger. And vice versa. They keep trying to forget, to move on (in their own separate ways), but they still yearn for the other. Despite all the resets Headspace has gone through, Sunny refuses to let go of Basil. Despite the paranoia and fear Basil experiences when remembering the truth, he still wishes to be by his friend's side.

They both need the other, yet they also wish to run away from them.

These conflicting desires eventually result in a confrontation. Basil misses Sunny, he makes that clear. But he’s also afraid of him to some extent. He won’t accept the truth, yet in his delusion, he sees Sunny as Something which directly causes him to injure his right eye.

At the same time, Sunny becomes stressed out. He’s afraid of Basil because in his eyes he represents the truth he wanted to bury for so long. He wishes to help his friend, but he’s overwhelmed by his own paranoia and guilt.

Both wish to try and ignore the facts one last time, eventually resulting in all their feelings coming out in the worst way possible.

And once again, even after everything, the fact they both care for the other remains.

And they both finally embrace the truth. Basil, by acknowledging Sunny’s mistake. And Sunny is finally able to see Basil for who he is: a friend, not rather than a threat to him. They’ve accepted it, and they can finally move on and try to forgive themselves.

[deprivedreality]

𝗨𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗗 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗣 ; 𝗧𝗦𝗔𝗞𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗠 chp four

Neytiri felt a special connection towards the girl she was tending to, she couldn't phantom why but she just did. From the very moment she layed eyes on her, she felt a spark emit inside her soul as if there was something inside her head that told her the girl was no stranger. Perhaps now she was right now, but she got a feeling that something would happen in the near future.

Her husband didn't exactly explain how he had found the girl nor how it got to the point that he was willing to let a stranger rest among his fortress, but Neytiri asked no question and performed her way of treatment. She had her kids with her by her side all while she attended to the girl.

Mostly it was eldest who had helped the most, while the rest of her kids helped their father.

"You were near being in Eywa's grasp, you are lucky." Neytiri mumbled to her. She watched as Na'vieh squirmed from the contact she had received from her touch, she worried that she was too vulnerable to even have a conversation and seeing her crippled on a makeshift bed didn't help much into thinking she could leave her alone.

But Na'vieh, much to Neytiri's surprise, answered back in a rather troubled manner. Though she could not blame her for it, but she listened.

"I think it's the opposite." Na'vieh told her blatantly, and it made the older woman pause. It was the first time she had talked to her after a night long of nursing her. "It would've been lucky if she just upped her decision and took me with her. But I'm not gonna complain."

Neytiri was a bit shocked from such an answer, kind of finding her way of speaking her mind to be funny yet reckless. It was as if Eywa was a person from the way she speaks. Nevertheless, she nodded her head in agreement with Na'vieh, which surprisingly made the girl express a light smile.

"I believe Eywa let you live through this for a reason." Neytiri said, finishing the treatment she had given her. Although, instead of hearing a 'thank you' from her, Na'vieh didn't let anything block her away from asking her the same question everyone in the Sully family wondered about.

"How do you know me?" Na'vieh asked, her tone was serious and it genuinely made Neytiri feel helpless. "Neytiri, I need to know. Have we met before?"

"No." All while avoiding her eyes, Neytiri answered her and continued to explain herself. "We've never met before. But I must be honest, I was warned by Eywa about your appearance in my life."

"Really? How long ago? Do you also speak to the mother?"

"I do not know when exactly, but it was more than a couple of days ago. When... my family and I... left our home."

For a moment, Na'vieh felt conflicted by her explanation and remained quiet. She looked away from Neytiri and sunk herself in her own thoughts. For her, the woman's answer seemed lacking in some way and it didn't really satisfied her. Until Neytiri spoke again, but this time she was looking elsewhere and not into her eyes.

"I am a tsakarem just like you." Softly, Neytiri said. "The differences is that unlike you, I cannot speak with Eywa personally. But I am eligible enough to interpret her wills and wishes. Which led to me knowing who you are, and why you are here, Navieh."

"I do not see into you, Neytiri Soli. I don't understand, but I'll pretend that I do." Neytiri still didn't look at her, meyhaps she didn't know how to answer her. So Na'vieh asked a question once more to avoid developing an awkward atmosphere. "So Eywa told you about me then? Why do you think she did that?"

It took a moment for Na'vieh to realize that she was looking at her son, Neteyam, who sat just beside her husband. She raised an eyebrow at this act, but later ignored it. She waited patiently for an answer.

"I do not know." Neytiri replied in all honesty, then she looked back at Na'vieh with a smile as if both of them knew each other already. "But it must be because you are more than what you seem to be, Na'vieh. And my family needs your help. Perhaps you will help us, that is why I think Eywa had sent you to us."

Silence occupied the conversation for a moment, and none of the two tsakarems spoke.

Na'vieh pursed her lips and dumbfoundedly looked at Neytiri like she was crazy, she silently gave the older woman a look. For some reason, Na'vieh was offended by her answer.

"So... you think Eywa purposely made your son impale me just to have me helping you, and your fugitive family who's on the run because of being hunted down by demon aliens?" She nonchalantly said with a taunting expression that caused Neytiri to suddenly grow anxious. The girl was starting to creep her out.

The longer she received a look of provocation, the more Neytiri sweated and acted flimsy and helpless. "No— no, that isn't what I meant. I didn't mean to— That's wrong... Ah, you misinterpreted it, what I mean is that... Uhm."

Na'vieh didn't mean to scare her that much, so she laughed lightly from the way Neytiri was acting. She was reminded by how often she made the Metkayina folks just as helpless with her way of casual speaking, and it seems she had yet again did the same sly move she would do.

She simpered and couldn't control herself from giggling, covering her mouth as she threw her head away from being in Neytiri's sight.

"I didn't mean to throw the blame on your son, please don't be worried." She laughed, her eyes even disappearing because of her smile that reached both her cheeks.

Neytiri adored this girl, it showed from the way she was touched by her personality. She calmed after hearing her crack up, promptly also making her express a small smile.

This caught the whole family's attention, as well as the other kids who were at the side, watching the way Na'vieh laugh for the first time. Even Jake and Neteyam looked astonished, they wondered how and what could Neytiri possibly did to make her laugh.

Loak watched his mom smile at another person and he felt his mind go blank for a moment. "Bro, look at mom." He smacked the shoulder of his sister and pointed at both Na'vieh and Neytiri.

Kiri, who just saw it also went blank. "Tuk, look at mom." In return, she lightly smacked the youngest's shoulder and told her to look at their mom laughing with another girl.

Tuk, who also saw it couldn't contain her shock and launched forward to her mother so suddenly, hoping to know why she was getting along too well with the stranger her dad bought in.

Unintended Worship, click here to teleport to the next chapter :P

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