#which doesnt work. just makes me be in so much pain i cant breath and cry

[ominousposting]

found out the reason i may be having a flare up. i walked 15,000 steps yesterday

[ienvieu]

physically feeling the jealousy invading my every senses

[fatal-blow]

hi! im wondering if you know how to relax your muscles, i can’t seem to do it by laying down and i don’t think they do it on their own. ive googled this a few times and it said breathe pretty much and that didn’t work out for me. you’re so cool and make me want to go into medicine thank you!

REALLY GOOD QUESTION because relaxation doesnt come naturally to everyone! just like basically everything else, though, its a skill, and you can build it up

so operating under the assumption that you, like me, have chronic tension, you might not even be sure what relaxation feels like. you might not even realize that you dont know what it feels like!!

so first thing id recommend are tense and release exercises. the one that i used (on an app i cant remember the name of) the instructor guides you through tensing and relaxing the body in sections, starting in the feet and working up the body. here, you want to focus on the differences between what tension feels like, and what release feels like. the entire exercise takes about 5 minutes, and depending on what you prefer you can find a video/audio or written instructions

the next thing to keep in mind when practicing relaxation is your posture. positions you normally find comfortable might only be comfortable because you are protecting a tense muscle. for example, folding the legs to the chest is often protective of tense muscle in the back of the thighs. if you try to use relaxation exercises while youre folded up, you might encounter pain or just not make progress because your body isnt in the right position for everything to relax properly.

the best posture for relaxation exercises would be lying flat on your back, legs straight. place your knees and ankles together best you can (if i relax like this, my feet turn outwards, so i like to tuck blankets/pillows against them to keep them straight) and keep your toes pointed upwards, feet at a 90 degree angle. your arms can be lying at your sides, or hands resting on the stomach. properly arranging your lower body is more important than arranging the upper body. overall, you want your posture to be symmetrical, so try not to favour one side over the other. its okay if your posture isnt perfect, it just needs to be better than it usually is.

optionally, if you sit a lot and/or get lower back pain, put a pillow underneath your butt. this will put your hips at a gentle stretch, which will aid low back pain, and help encourage your body, especially your legs, to sit more neutrally.

also optionally, you can try relaxation on a hard surface. it seems counterintuitive, but hard surfaces will sorta force you to even out your posture, because when your weight is distributed unevenly it will hurt. not for everyone, because sometimes your posture is so messed up and your muscles so tight that you just wont be able to get comfy. something to keep in mind though!

next, you need to make sure youre nice and warm. electric blanket, warm shower, heating pad, just make sure youre nice and toasty from head to toe. if you get cold feet and hands, try to get them all warmed up too. the cold will tense you up, so even in day to day life its good practice to keep warm!

additionally, painkillers, muscle relaxants, and topical creams can all be helpful. pain is another factor that will tense you up. even if you dont think youre in pain, it is worth your time to try pain medication before relaxation exercises. i wouldnt take it every time, because its good to compare with and without and use it as a measure of progress.

oh and breathing i guess. this is the one that everyone knows, but its the one that i, personally, found to be the least effective. still, though, slow, deep breaths are proven to relax the body. try to breathe with your stomach; when you breathe with your chest, this strains the scalene muscles in your neck. breathing with your stomach activates the diaphragm, which is much better suited for your deep breathing needs. this is good practice for everyday life, not just relaxation!

and finally, you can do relaxation exercises at any time of the day, but i like to do them right before bed. it might even help you sleep better, too.

thats what i got for how to do it, but dont be surprised if you feel like you dont get results the first few times you try it. it really does take practice! just listen to your body, and chase the sensations that make you feel better--this is the best time to do so, because when you are cozy and warm and in bed and ready to relax, you can safely explore what makes your body feel better without worrying about accidentally hurting yourself.

and this is what relaxation exercises are really about, when you have chronic pain/tension--you are creating an environment where you can feel out the state of your body, in a place and posture where you are theoretically at your most (physically) comfortable. when you return to it again and again over time, it builds a sturdy base from which you can start tracking how your body feels and how it changes over time. kinda like running a little experiment!

[coconox]

whb QoLs that i would like to see

boredom post lol, just dumping my thoughts into the void of what id like to see be added in whb but probably will never happen 🫠

1. separation of character and artifact banners

pretty self-explanatory. w the roster being huge and it only increasing from here there needs to be a distinction btwn characters and artifacts. im sure many ppl atp have gotten tired of the false hope they get when they get the gold glow from one of the kings at the beginning only to find out that its just one of his sig 💀💀

1.1 for patches w 2 l-rank debuts, have the selector work even before you hit pity

i get having the selector for if you reach hard pity, but its a bit greedy for it to apply only when you wasted so many seals (esp when f2ps dont get as much seals as they should). i would like the chance of knowing im guaranteed that char from the beginning even when i get the char early

1.2 if there exists an artifact banner, let there be a selector for which one you want to pull for

same logic as prev points. the rosters getting huge and ideally id like to have smth guaranteed for when i do my pulls

2. update characters' skill descriptions to be more specific

theres too many "[dmg/healing] is proportional to [some stat]." i want to see what that actual proportion is, like "dmg is proportional to x% of stat" where x is some number. or in skill menus theres "increase passive effect" like just tell me what youre specifically increasing in the passive !!!! i shouldnt need to actually lvl the passive to figure out whats changing, it should be stated from the get-go

3. have someone at the very least proofread the text

now i've seen my fair share of typos in games, hell, i literally play one where they couldnt even spell their own game name properly during the earlier yrs of its release lol *cough pgr cough*, but for the most part theyve resolved that issue and simple typos are easily spotted and fixed, but ive never seen there be this many typos or language switches mid-sentence. literally just 1 thorough proofread couldve easily solved most of these grammatical issues.

4. better optimization

im sorry but this is getting to like hoyo lvls of optimization w the fact that whb, which just hit half anni a month ago, is getting close to the amnt of storage an almost 3 yr old game has is wild to me (completely disregarding the fact that pgr has 3d models, l2d cgs, etc). imo, the amnt of storage whb holds should be around or even lower than what neural cloud has (which mind you, also has 3d models and l2d art 😭😭)

incoming very weird comparison but vanilla minecraft, a game that gets regularly updated, both on pc and pe take less than 1 gb

literally improving the optimization would make the game more accessible i.e. get more players to play since it wont take up a lot of storage !!! as someone who used to have 64gb or less on my phone, i could barely play any games on it bc nowadays they unnecessarily take up so much storage

5. add more daily/weekly tasks

keep the 9 daily requirements and 32 weekly requirements the same, just give more tasks for each so that we arent strictly set on doing specific ones. id like to see more stuff like "battle any stage x amnt of times" (emphasis on any, not a specific stage) or "interact w the lobby character at least once," just really anything that doesnt involve investing in a character or artifact. i feel like im wasting resources from lvling chars i dont wanna lvl, + we dont get enough tears per week to properly invest in so many characters at once.

giving more breathing room to hit the 9 and 32 achievements would put less stress on me cause then i'll know that if i cant complete one task, i can just do another and still be able to get all the rewards obtained for the week. im sure a fair share of ppl atp have missed out on getting all the weekly rewards bc they accidentally missed 1 daily task which is painful

5.1. get rid of the lvling artifacts weekly requirement and lvling characters requirement

briefly mentioned it prev but wanted to make its own section. its useless, especially when i ald have the artifacts that i need lvled up. its a dumb requirement that makes me waste mats and pulls just so i could lvl some artifacts properly.

6. get rid of the rng boxes and make them selectors

5.2 increase the daily/weekly rewards

dailies (w pancake shop): 9 tears, 7 key boxes (rng)

weeklies: 4 tears, 5 red keys, 2 yellow keys, 50 seals

i dont think i need to explain much here thats like scraping the bottom of a barrel for important mats/gacha currency

they suck. i do not want resources to be gacha too

7. make all shops cheaper

self-explanatory. everything is too expensive (esp in red gems shop) and therefore is borderline inaccessible unless if you hoard mats or 💳

7.1 add the ability to convert red gems to seals

red gems have very little use now ever since seals were introduced. id like them to have some important use if we keep getting a certain amnt of them every week. we can covert them to red/yellow keys, so by that logic we should also be able to convert them to seals too

8. get rid of uncommon/useless currencies

pretzels, artifact enhancement stones, and blue guilty gems are the 3 that come to mind. ik pretzels were originally supposed to be from the friends system, but that was removed a bit after launch and still hasnt showed up despite pb promising itd be launched around this time. aside from that the other 2 serve little to no use, as artifact stones dont lvl up the artifact all that much and blue gems died when seals became a thing

9. auto-clear for story stages

i mean that after getting a perfect clear on a stage, then have auto-clear be an option. since candy boxes are farmable through story, i end up falling asleep or getting bored of having to sit through fighting the same stage like 20+ times a day. this is honestly one of the more nit picky ones in this list lol, i just play the stages in the bg while i do other stuff but ideally id like to get stuff done asap

10. make lvling characters cheaper

we only get 13 tears a week from dailies + weeklies + pancake shop. assuming you start from scratch and want to get to char lvl70, it takes 3 weeks to get there without the help from other shops. thats almost a month for 1 character, it shouldnt take that long to invest in someone (it also shouldnt be that expensive 💀)

if we're getting such low numbers of essential materials per week, decrease the character lvl prices to reflect that. or alternatively, increase the number of mats we get per week to easily lvl characters

10.1 increase the character lvl cap to 100

40 tears for one level is not worth it, having the cap be 100 would make it feel like its worth it (not really tbh, its still real expensive when lvl70 provides more than enough to clear all content 💀)

10.2 add a resource stage for pies

getting pies only through shop (rng boxes btw) and events isnt enough to compensate for how much skill lvls cost. either decrease the skill lvl prices or increase the pie income to balance it out

11. have the ability to backread txt msgs before choosing a reply

self-explanatory. the game doesnt allow you to backread before choosing a reply which sucks :/

as someone who usually cant process txt after reading it once i kinda just sit at the replies like :/ girl i forgor what he just said and i cant go back and read so i'll just leave and re-enter the chatroom again ig

12. have the game automatically lock l-rank artifacts as soon as you get them

ik theres a lock feature, but you need to lock all artifacts manually. id rather the game lock l-rank artifacts for me once i get them so that i dont accidentally recycle them when cleaning out my inventory and then i manually unlock them later if i want to

13. give seals, keys, or just any sort of general gacha currency as compensation rewards

receiving only ap feels like a slap to the face, and seals/any other currency would only be given out if there was smth that was severely (and i mean very severely) hindering everyones gameplay. the ap given isnt even that much either which is like rubbing salt in the wound

14. decrease ap requirement in stages

considering stages can go up to 32ap as a req (given this is only seen in events, the usual hovers around 25 but my point still stands), you cant really do all that much if the cap hovers around 250 (give or take, i havent seen anyone w 300ap yet so 250 im considering is the avg rn for endgame players). w each stage at highest difficulty being 25-30+ap, we essentially only play like 10 stages max before needing to wait.

1 solution ppl would have in mind is to just buy the 300ap from red gems shop or buy more ap from selecting the ap counter directly to get more for the day, but i want smth thats more accessible. i shouldnt need to pay w some currency to get literally the bare necessity of being able to play this game.

i think keeping all stages at 15ap is perfect, hell, even 20 would also work since w 250ap you can get more than 10 runs in one session

15. make the battles less reliant on needing certain l-ranks

this is just smth ive noticed when testing out stages w other chars or just playing realm of seraphim lol, but theres a huge imbalance w l-ranks vs s and a+-ranks. theres also a huge imbalance when it comes to the classes too (i'll get to that in a bit)

take beel's camp for example, there is no one in beels camp that can essentially mimic or closely mimic what beel does kit-wise (dmg ik will be different cause lower ranking and all). imo, the go-to non-l-rank alternative for beel isnt even from his camp, its from belphegors !!!! (if you didnt catch on im talking abt andrealphus lol)

or take mammon for example, no one in his camp (as of making this post) deals dmg on ult, they only either shield themselves or take the hit for ppl on the team, which tends to do more harm than good.

element-wise, take juno for example. juno being an l-rank fire unit significantly changed how fire team worked, i.e., you can actually use that team to clear most story content now (minus water enemies lol). that should probably put into perspective of 1. how l-ranks are a bit too important in this game and 2. how unbalanced light as an element is compared to every other element

15.1 give us more tanks and healers

i need yall to see how crazy our current roster is

(dont mind the title of the table lol its from the spreadsheet, also for reference if ppl see this in the future this is pre-lucifer (victory))

why do we have so many close-rangers??? so many marksman????

we have such little supports (tanks + healers) that it makes me fully convinced the gameplay pb wants to achieve is full on dps and not yk a well-balanced team w dps AND support. dont get me wrong if players want to full on dps that is totally fine by me, the issue im having is that the devs appear to want a full on dps team, completely ignoring the idea of how to properly balance a game where they also introduce supports. of course there are marksman/close-rangers that can support i.e. buff the team (juno, dantalian, ronové, phenix, the list of examples goes on), but im specifically talking abt the classes in general. for the most part, marksman and close-rangers are usually dps while tanks and healers are usually support.

if youre gonna introduce supports in this game, 1. have more than just 1 tank unit for each non-light element, 2. make the healing be higher than 1% of a char's hp, 3. have an equal amnt of tanks and healers as close-rangers and marksman.

the fact that if you dont have mammon as your designated tank or lucifer as your designated healer, youre essentially screwed over is wild to me. their camps' s/a+-ranks should be able to hold just as well without their kings. satans camp is the perfect example of that. chars like minhyeok (who is quite literally mini satan kit-wise lmao), gabriel, leraye, nostalgia leraye, hell even ppyong (the a+-rank ver, not juno lol) are all perfect alternatives for if you dont have satan and that is amazing. we currently dont have that for supports and i genuinely hope thatll change in the future

—

this game is very, VERY far from being at least somewhat balanced in my eyes. i really do wish for the best w this game but man as someone who loves to dissect gameplay down to the numbers, seeing all this gets real frustrating for me from time to time.

anyw thats all for now– this was a bit of a rant more than anything lol

[cpunkwitch]

Hey, it's the anon that asked if chronic pain counted as a physical disability

I guess I just wanted to ask a few other things because you're like the first person who has actually answered my questions on this kind of stuff— I'm sorry if it becomes annoying or if my questions are stupid, I really struggle with research and stuff, so if this stuff is easily found on google or something then im sorry

I wanted to mainly ask what counts as debilitating? I mean my chronic pain tends to come in episodes that last a few minutes to a few hours (well the most noticeable of it, which is my ribs. But I do tend to havesort of aches in my joints, knees((are they joints?)), hip and some other places pretty commonly, and that usually lasts a few hours but I'm usually good at ignoring that), sometimes it can happen every day for a week and sometimes I can go weeks without experiencing or noticing any pain. I can still do things that most people do I think? Other than running or walking up hills, that usually takes away all my breath and makes the pain really bad (so bad I've had to lay on the floor for up to 10-20 minutes because I walked up too many hills). I don't know if that would count as debilitating

For further context, I am quite young and I don't have any diagnosis, I haven't seen a doctor over it because my parents don't believe my pain is real and often say it's growing pains (I don't think it is, since it started back when I was like 7-9, so before I started growing) so I don't really know much about this or my body really

Again sorry if this is a sort of stupid question, if you can't answer it or don't feel comfortable answering it that's perfectly fine ^_^ /gen

holding you gently (if touch is okay)

i dont think you understand anon im autistic all i do is research please please ask me to your hearts content! /silly

going bit by bit so its easier on my dyslexia, what counts as debilitating? subjective to the person but overall; debilitating means a condition or otherwise symptom of some kind causng a person to be weak, effects their usual functions or otherwise hindering, so for something to be disabling / debilitating and to count as such, it just means it hinders you in some way and generally makes you weaker in a "more suseptible to" way, such as chronic pain making it so you cant get out of bed i the morning, you cant lift heavy things like chairs etc.

it common for chronic pain and other chronic conditions to come in episodes my moms chronic migranes for example only happen about once a month. it still counts as chronic so long as its reoccuring and when it does occur if it hinders you in any way then it very much counts as debilitating and therefore a disablity.

the pain level doesnt have to be consistent nor does the time length, just that its reoccuring in some way.

knees are joints yes. when it comes to joint issues and pain its likely that form of chronic pain is caused by a type of arthritis, fibromyalgia and/or some other autoimunity that is known to cause that. not certain but i just felt like that might be worth noting.

my chronic pain causes me issues with walking just like that, people without this condition dont often struggle with losing energy nor feel pain after walks or runs, uphill or otherwise, unless they have something else goig on with their body. if it effects you lower body its no surprise your mobility in that area is effected in some way too. i got myself a cane to help me with this as i walk uphill to work often (at least its one reason it helps me)

that hinderance alone, effectig your stamina, counts as debilitating, it might now sound or feel as severe as what other people expirience but it counts

it sucks that people equate age to conditions and then dont believe young people like us when we have issues, but age has nothing to do with it, you can expirience anything like this at any age for a number of reasons. i was born with a defect i my spine we didnt find until i was 18-19 and id been i pain for well over a decade now.

you'll find its hard to get people to listen to you now, but once you know what to say, for example telling them how long that this has been going on and how it effects you, even what you suspect it night be and dont let them derail from exploring those possabilities, you can /get/ them to listen to you.

sucks hard that people wont listen in the first place, especially when they think they know everything. but youre the only one whos gonna know and understand your body best because only you can listen to it when it sends you signals like pain.

(i genuinely enjoy these kinds of asks i love getting to ramble)

[thedarksideofthesuns]

romance and shitttt

the idea of a lifelong partner, a spouse, a husband, a wife, a house, kids, domestic bliss and whatnot stresses me out and depresses me. i feel like wow, a spouse that will drive me away from my friends, my dreams and my independence. i love my friends my dreams and my independence. but the type of treatment i thought i liked within romantic relationships is very intimate, all the time, clingy stuff which really contradicts that.

in my previous relationship i was with someone i thought was perfect for me because he took care of all my needs. at first it was a sweet and fun relationship but due to this partner being so caring and attentive of me i grew codependent, and he grew codepdnent too i think. after breaking up i was devastated due to losing this familliarity and support system. but there was not much spark or whatever... he really really liked me and i thought i liked him but i dont think i truly did which is something i learnt when about 5/6 months after breaking up i started talking to someone else. this new person is not dependable, is unreliable and although he is kind and sweet he is not the most attentive person to go to with your problems. he is not a shoulder to cry on really and i always thought thats what romance is all about: a shoulder to cry on. and yet ive never had such fun with someone im romantically entagled with before. we are not in a relationship which is new to me but i like it because there is no musts and no expectations from either side. he cant expect impossible things from me as people often do, he cant make me feel inadequate and he never ever does. additionally i cant place expectations on him which makes everything chill and non personal. he doesnt do something? i dont take it personal because that just isnt what we have. i feel very at peace with this person in a sense that he just wouldnt be mad at me, he wouldnt nitpick my behaviour, he just wants to spend time with me whenever possible and share whatever we can share with no heavy expectations weighing us down.

and i have learnt a lot from this, first and foremost: patience! i was never patient with people before but now i feel patient and secure that everything is alright even with changes and even with time passing. I have learnt independence through this but also other things that happened in thee 10 months I have known him for- probably craziest 10 months of my life so far. I have learnt to be alone and keep busy and deal with my emotions without needing a romantic partner to complain to. i am closer with my friends and family and with myself because i finally changed my perception of what romantic partners are for!!!!! the media and also a lot of people make it seem like its your partners job to listen to you and heal you and constantly be there for you and yes of course that is true or whatever but thats not on your partner alone!!!!! romantic partners are for romance, for fun, for sex, for unspoken intimacy and understanding, for spoken understanding, for tension, for feelig good and beautiful and sexy and in love!!! not to take care of you. thinking back to whenever my ex boyfriend was incredibly caring of me i was very grateful and happy to have him, and i mourned that heavily when we broke up but i also ended up feeling helpless and small- enabled in my depression even!!!!

So having learnt that what I want from romance is fun and joy, because i deserve fun and joy! I deserve someone who has done the work as i have! One of the main attractive qualities this person has is he has done the work. The first time we met we talked a lot and in one of our conversations in the same breath he admitted all the pain his parents have caused him, how it was not their fault because they have hd difficult lives, how he forgives them but also has boundaries in place to protect himself. i was droolingggg like the maturity GAGGED ME i was so impressed idk... i just love meeting people who have reflected and admitted and done the work.. whereas some others wont even admit they need help and keep boasting about engaging in self destructive behaviour. i want fun and joy, someone who knows, someone who has done the work!

So thinking about a long term partner because i do want that, i think i would just love to have something like that forever maybe. Of course later on in life something more commited since now I feel like I am young and having fun and whilst i think to be totally in love with this person i also love the lack of commitment, my independance and whatnot even if i am not particularly getting with other people. I think i just want a carefree fun and joyous connection where we have fun, go out, chill, giggle while fucking and understand each other with no shame in being seen.

thoughts?!?!!

[blackvail22]

the way i told her that smoking around me makes my pain worse and she said "sorry" n did it anyway and now my nose is throbbing, my eyes are burning, and my throat feels extremely dry (which is bad!)

and she also woke me up (knowing that i havent slept more than an hour at a time) and now i cant sleep because im in pain!!

hopefully my medicine kicks in and also makes me tired because ooo im so pissed rn!!!

doesnt help that i cant speak and have to type everything

also the fact she told me before i went into surgery she hopes i die so she doesnr have to deal w me anymore 💀

I JUST SAID THAT SHES MEAN TO ME ... SHE LITERALLY PROVED MY POINT

yes, ik she goes out of her way to take me to my appts n work n stuff but that doesnt change the fact she tells me she hopes i die, how much she hates me, etc....

there is no way in hell she feels other ppls pain because then she wouldnt be so disrespectful and make me feel how i feel and not care

im not even supposed to be near cigarette smoke to begin w

also my surgery was delayed an hour and she was pissed the entire time because i told her she was mean to me and how she just wanted to go smoke a cigarette n i told her she could and she wouldnt (literally refused) until it reached around an hour and 10 minutes. there was literally a time during that where she walked away for literally 10 seconds (all she did was walk out the room, go down the hallway, and then come back) and was like "oh you're still here?" in a disgusting tone and then sat in the chair farthest from me, pulled out her weed vape pen, inhaled for a bit and blew it in my face. and then she went to the chair next to me and did it again. (btw, it made me short of breath so i rlly appreciate her for that!! /s) oh and while she refused to go downstairs she kept doing little things that inconvenienced me... she moved the hospital remote away from me so if i needed a nurse i couldnt reach it (it was the side of me my iv was on), she kept hitting the handle that makes the bed go down whenbi told her i wanted to sit up (she would hit it for a second and it would make me jerk down and make me not comfortable anymore), she turned the air in my room to the coldest it can be, she mumbled to herself abt me (all i could make out was "....kill herself....that would be great"), and she also made a scene in the hospital !!

also im pretty sure her n that weed pen thing is why i reacted differently to my anesthesia (i kept falling sleep every 30 seconds)

oh n the fact i probably need another surgery????? thats gonna make me cry. i have to get a ct scan (again) and if i have to do it its so i dont get this disease when im older (why did i have to be made like this!!!)

[uzumak1s]

Its so sad when i want to find and love a good man but i cant even trust in my owm brothers anymore.

It pains me to no end. How can they think and say such cruel things? Without a care in the world.

I just want somebody whos kind and sweet and doesnt hate women as a whole. This underlying disdain for women and anything feminine and anyone in defense of women. This filth of a realization that even these men who were birthed from the most incredible woman who has faced unspeakable things in her lifetime and has sacrificed everything for them; that even they think to speak of women in such an ugly and saddening way.

I cant do it. Call me weak and a coward but i cannot sit down with someone and explain to them why they should care about other people and treat everyone with kindness. When did it become desirable to be a bad person? When did it happen; the moment when people lost all sense of community and manners and understanding and, rather, turned to arrogance and ignorance and hate.

It makes me sick and its too much sometimes. And i always have to remind myself: theyre my brothers and i really love them and theyre troubled and theyre going through a rough time and theyve made some unpleasant experiences in the past.

But its not always easy and i just want to cry and i just want them to magically see women in a kind light again and i just want them to see through my eyes too, or at least try to.

They dont see what theyre doing to those around them. They cant see what theyve made themselves turn into and they dont want to see what theyve also put me through.

Because i always appreciate them and what they do for me and i have understanding for their hardships and pains. Even when they dont talk about them.

So why is it that none of the things that have happened in the past years, none of the things which make it so hard to live with them, none of the work i have put in from a much younger age, none of the things ive had to understand, none of the ways in which i have tried to be perfect to make up for their struggles, none of their emotional unstableness, none of their aggression, none of my repression and reclusion in turn, none of my pain is met with understanding.

And that can be fine. But then they go ahead with their misogynistic mindsets and it makes me feel sick and panicked. Like theres no hope. And theres no love left in the world and maybe im too late and ive missed my chance.

Because i cant put up with that for the rest of my life. And i want forever. I want it so bad. I want that someones so bad and im waiting for them and when i see them i want to take a breath and turn around and ask them where they have been all my life.

Dear god. Tell me now if im a fool. Tell me now so i can rest assured.

Or dont tell me. Dont tell me because through all of that i still retain hope. A little sliver of it. And ill keep it close to my heart and try to remember it in times like this.

[abra-ka-dammit]

UPDATE 4:

bojji continues to improve at a shocking rate. he's very "bright" today and has been able to sustain his blood pressure without medical assistance again. the only thing is that his breathing is kind of rapid (though hes not having any trouble oxygenating) but the surgeon is guessing this is his compensating to breathe shallowly rather than move his ribcage more, where there IS tubes sticking in between a couple ribs on both sides into the space surrounding his lungs, which according to human patients with similar setups is not SUPER comfy even if their pain medications are effective, and since food regurgitating into that cavity was a (valid and in the end justified) concern they used a lil thicker tube than they would usually for Chunk Purposes so probably even more so. so she is gonna give him some local anesthetics and see if that solves his breathing, because if it does it will get us closer to concluding safely he no longer needs oxygen supplementation either. which gets him closer to not needing to be in the hospital anymore.

the only bad thing is she has informed me we appear to be hitting the end of my care credit's limit now. his astounding healing rate may be saving me several day's worth of stay, but not enough... I am looking at the secondary payment method they had recommended at first (something called scratch pay) but it appears to be income based which doesnt seem uhhhh promising for me. not that it doesnt make sense--obviously nobody wants me to borrow outside of my means or whatever. But if I stop now everything up until now has been for nothing. He is getting better and can recover if just given more time. if i have to end his stay, that sepsis is only going to come back with a vengeance growing off of what much-less bacteria remains to be removed, and he will die, painfully--or i'll be spending my new loan on putting him down while he's starting to feel better. i just....cant do that.

its fair to say my care credit limit ($9200) has now made itself a Stage One Goal Amount

so i'm finally gonna make an official donation post after I visit him today, as well as work on some potential gifts as incentive for donating (no promises there. but if i DO set smth up all previous donators who had donated $X+ will be messaged to offer it to them as well, so pls dont hesitate to donate ASAP.) Obviously theres no way in hell I'm managing to get almost $10k in ko-fi donations from tumblrites (and certainly do not expect it! im loathe to rely on others' generosity to begin with and the amount thats already come in is already well beyond the help i ever dreamed I'd scrap up) and I will be putting every cent i can spare of my own money into it as well, but literally any and all help is hella appreciated

ko-fi link for anyone who doesnt wanna scroll back up

Crying at the emergency vet at the asscrack of the morning after waking up to the sound of my baby boy choking down a long mesh-like ribbon that then broke off in his mouth when i tried to remove it

[haruichyo]

𝟏:𝟎𝟓𝐚𝐦

𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝

ran x reader

warnings: hurt/comfort, mental health talks, insecurities, reader is into girls as well.

wc: 1k

“ran, am i a bad person?”

the question startled ran to say the least, after three years dating you he did not expect that kind of question to come out of your mouth. it immediately worries him, he knows you’ve had issues with your insecurities and he never fails to give you all the reassurances you need, but this is not something he expected to be asked.

he furrows his eyebrows, eyes looking up from his work to yours. “where did this come from?” he asks you and tilts his head to the side in a questioning manner. you sigh, knowing this conversation will irritate him and you know he won’t be irritated at you but at the person that pushed these thoughts into your head.

“answer me first and i’ll tell you, please ran,” your voice breaks and ran feels his heart drop, getting up from his place in a hurry jogging towards you to bring you into his arms. “hey hey hey- what the fuck? of course not,” he says quickly, his heart beating out of his chest out of concern. “you’re literally the kindest, you treat me like a fucking king baby, no one compares to you, at all,”

“you’re so gentle, you give me so much love and more than i deserve considering what i do as a living,” his hand strokes your hair gently, pulling you slowly so you rest your head on his chest. “ah, i’m sorry i just-” you start before getting cut off by him. “no apologies, what did we say about this?” he grins and flicks your forehead, making you wince in pain.

you sniff before taking a deep breath, calming yourself down as you feel your boyfriend grab your hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb gently.

your ex’s words kept on repeating in your head, and you couldn’t help it because she’s also your best friend so it stung even worse. you know that ran didn’t like her, has always expressed his dislike for her but couldn’t do anything about it because you’re really close and she’s harmless. or that’s what he thought at least.

“now tell me, what happened princess? what brought that up?” you snap out of your thoughts hearing your boyfriend’s voice, a pout forming on your lips as he eyes your expressions carefully.

“i had a fight with (ex name), told me that your line of work is making my paranoia worse, and that being with you was never a good idea-” “she doesnt fucking know me to begin with, who the fuck is she to throw out bullshit like this?” ran cuts you off again, annoyance taking over his emotions, a mark of irritation appearing on his forehead already and you haven’t even gotten to the worst part.

“obviously i got annoyed so i called her so i can understand what the fuck’s her problem,” you continue, your eyes focusing intently on ran’s, noticing his feelings being evident with his expressions. “and she was like i’m just worried and i thought no, that’s just bullshit there has to be more to it,” ran nods, his thumb pausing his strokes on the back of your hand to focus with you. “then she dropped the bomb of ‘i really like you and i guess i haven’t made that clear enough, and i’m worried’ which obviously pissed me off even more”

“i knew this motherfucker was planning something, i swear the next time i see her-” he mutters. “no listen thats not it,” you continue, your eyes tearing up once again as you recall her words. “she told me i’m too unstable to be with you to begin with, and that you deserve better than to have someone like me that has issues.” your tears start falling freely once again, the words stinging, unable to look at your boyfriend in the eyes.

“and that fucked me up you know, telling your best friend that their boyfriend deserves better than them because of shit they cant control, it’s so fucked up,” you sob and ran can’t take this anymore, his blood was boiling and he was so fucking ready to get up and deal with this fuck by himself.

“i guess she was trying to be the whole i’m better date me instead i can fix you or some shit but jesus fucking christ,”

it hurt, someone so close to you hitting you right on your insecurities that you have expressed to them multiple times. you’ve always told her that you never felt enough for ran and that he’s way too good for you, and you’ve expressed those to your boyfriend as well and he never hesitated to reassure you every single time.

he loves you, he is so in love with you he would die to prove it. he would do anything for you and your satisfaction. he knows the risk of having you by his side specially as a bonten executive, he has his own insecurities himself. he had thoughts of you leaving him because you realized that you’re putting yourself in danger by being with him and to be honest, he thinks it’s fair, but it still hurts, and he doesn’t want you to leave him as selfish as that sounds.

“it’s okay baby, i’m right here, i’m never leaving,” he says in a gentle voice in contrast to the anger inside him. he genuinely feels like he’s going to explode. “i’m never leaving you for anyone else, you’re the only one for me, you’re the one i deserve and that’s it, do you understand?” you nod, a hand coming to wipe your tears away before you feel his hands gripping at your shoulders sternly as he shakes his head. “look at me and answer me, do you understand?” he asks once again, your puffed eyes meeting his and you watch them soften. “i do, i understand,” you chuckle and get reminded of how much love this man holds for you.

“i love you ran, i really really do.” you let out before engulfing him into your arms, leaving almost no space between you both. “i love you too angel, it’s always you, no one else,” you grin and squeeze him even tighter just to hear his complaints about him not being able to breathe apparently.

“c’mon, let’s go to bed, we need some rest after all of that dont you think so, pretty?”

[violetnotez]

Haaaaiiii! I don't know if you've done this before, but can you do a headcanon with Midoriya, Bakugou, Todoroki, and Kaminari (separately) dating a slim thicc reader who's waaaaay to kind to everyone for her own good? Sorry if that was specific lol. It just suits my life.

HC: Slim Thicc + Overly Nice Reader | BNHA

Music Genre: Pop | BNHA

Characters: Midoriya, Bakugo, Todoroki

Warnings: cursing, suggestive content

Music Collection | Tip Jar | Requests!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

Shop Owner Note: The fuq how did you describe me in four words lmaoooo-I really liked this idea alot!!!!! Also I only did Bakugo, Izuku and Shoto caus emy brain got fried, so hope thats okay!

Midoriya

THIS GIF ISNT APART OF THE HC AT ALL I JUST FOUND IT AND NOW IM FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAYYYY😳😳

Midoriya most definitely drink his respect women juice

He was raised by his mother after all

BUT

doesnt mean the boy cant be a little perverted-

He just loves your body!!!!!

How can he NOT love everything about it, from the way your school tights slightly squeeze your thighs to the point where he feel like he cant breath

Or when you wear his shirts and its tighter around the chest and flowy around you waist

Mmmmmm lets not forget your hero suit- this man would probably kiss the shoes of the person who made your suit

Cause DAMN they really made it as tight as possible and he just loves it sm

Lets be real this dude has probably popped a boner by accident just thinking about your hero suit 😶

ANYWAYS 💀💀💀💀

He is very much respectful about you and keeps his raging hormones horniness to himself

He is ALWAYS making sure you feel comfortable in your relationship, whether its from holding hands to cuddling, he will always make sure you give your consent

Now, when it comes to your kindness, this is something Midoriya probably loves the most about you

But he does find it really concerning when he notices you say “yes” to everything somebody asks you to do for them

And running yourself down, not looking as energetic as yourself

He is very observant, so he notices little things that signal you are little overwhelmed 

Like your clothes arent as perfectly ironed as they used to be, you seem to be forgetting your own things while remembering to bring everybody else’s, your smile seems strained, and you just look stressed

He is so incredibly empathetic- it pains him to his s/o look so distraught 

It does anger him a bit that these people can so easily take advantage of you, and not even care that you arent feeling your best because of what they asked of you

But he swallows down the anger, offering to help you with whatever you need at your dorm room

He tries to make it as stress free as he possibly can, bringing your favorite snacks and playlist of music to calm your mind

But at some point hed give you a very gentle talk,,,,

He knows you havent been feeling too great, whether you deny it or not, and he wants you to know that its perfectly okay to not say “yes” to every person

He knows you mean well and you want to help everyone out of the generosity of your heart, and he loves that about you

But you as a person are important, and you come first over anyone

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Bakugo

Like Midoriya, just LOVES your body

Like cmon, how can he NOT

Dude is a ass+boob man change ma mind 

At first he deifnitely denies it-

Him??? Stare at your ass??? Pshh he was looking at the oven baka, if anything your ass was blocking his view-

You would know you caught him red handed cause he face would get redder than Momo’s hero suit and he would actually stutter—-

Which would make him extrmeely annoyed and he’d be cussing a storm+be in a grumpy mood for an hour or two

But once you two get more comfortable in your relationship-

NO HOLDING BACK

He will have use every opportunity to just be meannnn

And by mean

I mean turn slapping your ass into some sick game

Like if you dont yelp and cuss him out whats the point?

Once he slapped you so hard he legit left his big ass hand print on your butt cheek and you were about to slap his smug ass back....

But off a 50ft building  🙃

Also a big softie too

Like when you to cuddle he loves cuddling into your chest 🥺🥺

To him it’s just so comfyyyyyyyyyy

Honestly, Bakugo can’t understand at all how you can be so nice to people

It confuses him???? But he finds it really....nice???

Like half the stuff you do for people Bakugo wouldn’t ever dream of doing

He knows he’d either give that person an intimidating, dirty look or just laugh at them, cause yeah right he’d waste his time with their stupid problems

Ouchhhhhhhh

But you are totally different than him-you had a lot more patience and sympathy than he had, always coming to everyone’s rescue it seemed like

He finds it attractive and to him, it confuses the hell out of him how he does

But what bothers him is how much time you spend away from him

He won’t ever admit it, but he feels lonely when you’re not around

And what’s even worse-is by the time you do hang out with him, your too tired to even properly pay attention to him after running around and doing everything for everyone else

Bakugo the Attention Whore

One day this dude would have enough, as he’s been getting the bad end of the stick for a good couple of weeks——

He just barges into were ever your at, and doesn’t give to shits what so everrrrr

Bakugo has one mission in mind: getting his s/o back

Wouldn’t acknowledge anyone but you, grabbing your wrist and yanking you out of the room even if your protesting with him

“The hell are you doing Bakugo, let go-“

“No 😠”

“Pleaseeeeeee I was in the middle of working on something-“

“I said NO 😠😠😠”

Angry Pomeranian Activated

Once stop dragging you until he locks you in his room, forcing you to hear him out

He HATES being emotional or open, but at that, he starts spilling his guts through gritted teeth and choppy sentences,,

Saying that you waste too much time in thise “extras”, that they don’t deserve as much time as you give them, and that you have more “important” things than do all their work for them

*cough cough him being the more important thing

But hoenstly, you feel a little bad for him,,,,,

So you compromise with him and promise you’ll spend more time on him

He’s pretty happy with that,

but now he takes it one step further to make sure you deifnitely have enough time to hang out with him

If he’s around when someone asks you for help, he’ll cut them off and lie straight theough his teeth, saying you two have a “date” and squeezing you close to him with an iron grip

“Wait-Bakugo-we didnt have a date planned-“

“Tsch, now we do-“

Shoto Todoroki

I have said this timeeee and timeeee againnnn

But Shoto really is the definition of innocence

So really, it wouldn’t ever dawn on him on how killer his s/o’s body is

He’s just kinda like....yeah I know they have a butt and chest? Doesn’t everyone?😶

This poor Boi someone help him

It only really sets it after a few months of being together that he’s actually really, really in love with your body

Like how did he never notice how good you look in leggings?

Or how soft and comfortable your chest is?

And why does he want you to squeeze him with your thighs? 😳

Hormones are ragingggggg

And also veryyyyyyyy protective over you

Shoto is very observant and quiet in social situations, usually opting to check out his surroundings instead of trying to be sociable

So he’ll catch from time to time classmates commenting on you and your figure, and it never sits very well with him

At first when these incidences happened he was very conflicted, not understanding this intense jealousy and need to protect you

But after a while of contemplating his feelings, he understood it was because he was protective of you

And ohohoohohoh

This man is PROTECTIVE

He does little things you would never reallly notice until you actually do

Like when he takes you home after hanging out or a date, he lingers a little longer outside your door to make sure you’re inside safely

Or when you’re walking together he will make sure your walking inside the street and away from the cars

Also has a tendency to grab your waist or your hand when a group of men come your way

He just gets paranoid okay 🥺🥺🥺

And because he’s so protective, he doesn’t practically like that you’re being taken advantage of sometimes because of your kindness

Especially when it comes to other men

On a few occasions Shoto has spotted you in a sticky situation with a guy who was being a little too close for comfort

It would make you uncomfortable of course, you had a boyfriend you already loved a lot-

but you felt kind of bad just being a total bitch to this guy who desperately wanted a chance

So you’d just awkwardly laugh and smile with their stupid pick up lines, trying your best to be polite but also show you weren’t interested

But Shoto at this point has radar for when your in trouble, and just pops out of nowhere 💀

He’s not the type to flaunt his relationship by impulsively kissing you or anything like that, but he’ll show it in subtle ways

Like calling you “dear” or wrapping his arm around your waist

Honestly, the look of pure relief and comfort in your face shows more than Shoto could have ever done,,,

And that Shoto was deifnitely someone that was more than just a “guy fiend” and soemthing like that

Also Shoto would give them a look that could kill and that instantly scares the shit out anyone lmao

These dudes faces would deflate like balloons real quick, cause at this point everyone knows who Shoto Todoroki is

And how the hell can they compete with that

Instant “oh shit my bad” type energy

After those incidents, Shoto locks down way harder

He practically has you glued to his side, and he doesn’t let go

Like at all

Get used to it cause for the rest of the day Shoto is gonna be following you around like some body guard 💀

© Violetnote 2020

None of these characters or shows are my own, only the storylines and narratives I create are mine. Copying, stealing, plagiarizing, rewording, or using my storylines in other media, claiming to be your own, or reposting without my consent is not allowed.

[daaziscoolbesties]

minecraft endermen are really weird. theyre unnatural and make me feel off.

when i was a small child like seven years ago i would always play minecraft on creative mode and i made an ugly ass enderman "farm" made out of bricks. i had an enderman spawn egg and id just spam it and the enderman couldnt get out (so i thought). anyways having them in this enclosure was probably so i could feel "powerful" over them because to date theyre still the only mob in minecraft that makes me anxious. even above skeletons(which i used to have a horrible fear of (the real life ones not mc ones)) and spiders (which i still have a horrible fear of (again the real life ones not mc)). anyways the endermen just ended up completely teleporting out of the farm and i checked on my world the next day and they were all gone and i didnt appreciate it (this was the same world where my brother blew up my pets but thats a different story).

anyways back to endermen. besides the fact that i just didnt like dying and i did like building ugly structures, one of the main reasons i didnt play survival much for a while, or if i did id put it on peaceful, was because of the enderman. every time i passed one my heart would drop and if i happened to look it in the eye on accident my throat would feel like its closing up and idk why. if it sounds like im bullshitting you or not remembering correctly i swear im not because it still happens actually.

i play survival a ton more now simply because i enjoy it more, it feels like theres actually a goal to achieve, but i never really make efforts toward said goal(ya know, beating the dragon). none of my worlds are really created with the intention of beating the dragon, and therefore i dont have to worry about endermen. if i happen to be outside my house and theres one there, no worries i just wait for it to go away. it may spook me for a sec but im fine.

but recently me and my sister started a world with the sole purpose of beating the dragon. we may have cheated a little (like putting on keep inventory cause honestly we both suck at pvp and have died so many times) but its okay cause thats it. we still have to fight endermen to get pearls for the end portal. and so we were hanging out in the nether and made a little two block tall hidey hole and id stand by the front and taunt endermen to get them to come close so i could kill them without them being able to get to me and it worked really well actually. except for the fact that to get them to come near i had to get them to aggro onto me and to do that i have to look them in the eye and you know where this is going. and so i was like "it has been so long since i looked an enderman in the eye surely i cant still be scared of them" and i turn to my sister like "<sister> you stay in the hole ill get us some pearls"

so i go out and taunt the dudes and guess what bitch got the pit in their stomach from these fuckers!! thats right bestie and my throat started to close up and i started talking to my sister again but i could tell me voice was off from it and i dont know why it happens but it pisses me off. like theyre not even scary looking theyre just a bit odd. and i continue to do this and kill the endermen and it just. doesnt. stop. my throat keeps closing up and im not "in pain" or anything just inconvenienced like what the fuck dude its a bunch of fucking pixels. i dont know its weird.

and now this part is gonna sound super fuckin stupid but ever since i started watching dsmp i immediately got attached to ranboo (cc! and c!) and knowing that c!ranboo was half enderman made me really think "hm endermen arent that bad. granted i havent interacted with one in a while but still not that bad. perhaps my favorite hostile mob" because you know people get attached to characters and think dumb things. and then again ranboo's character straight up existing and also this one specific headcanon i saw that was like "endermen use telepathy to talk so when a player looks at them all their thoughts get projected into them and it hurts their brain :((" makes me feel kinda bad for aggro-ing them and killing them again even though its literally just some pixels dude. my brain is not kind to me about this stuff and its really dumb.

i dont know what about the endermen staring back at me sets off the sort of fight-or-flight that makes me unable to breathe for a second but its something. its not the fact that their jaws basically unhinge when theyre mad because the throat closing up sensation happens before that. it happens when i look at an enderman and it looks back up at me and holds my gaze. i dont know. i dont know why im worked up(even slightly) over a video game. theyre still my favorite hostile mob i think (not just because of ranboo honestly the other hostile mobs just kinda suck).

and also i like the idea of how humanoid they are. not human. humanoid. they have the basic aspects of a minecraft human- square, head, torso, legs, arms, eyes. most mc skins dont even have mouths anyways just eyes. but the endermen have these features differently than us. their eyes are unnatural, legs and arms too long, body all one color, one that can blend in, and you can only see its purple eyes staring you down from a distance. theyre basically just cryptids.

despite skeletons and even zombies looking closer to the player than the endermen, they still seem the most human-like of all of the mobs. they arent aggressive unless provoked. they dont like eye contact(socially awkward). they like picking up stuff and moving it around. theyre curious (i cant explain this one they just are, okay?). even the sounds they make are just phrases like "hey" "hello" "whats up" distorted and in reverse.

i want to know more about them.

i want to know where they came from.

why theyre found in every dimension.

why they sound like us.

i want explanations, i want to know why they scare us.

i want to know if they know.

if they know that we're like them in some way.

that some of us dont mean harm, but for others thats all they want to do to the endermen.

i saw a post once that said "what taught humans to be wary of things that look human, but arent?" i believe the phenomenon is called uncanny valley. what if in the minecraft universe, the thing that taught us that was endermen. or rather, the thing that taught the endermen that was us? because again, the endermen pose no threat to us unless theyre provoked. by one of us. the endermen try to communicate with us- "⊑⟒⊬" "⍙⊑⏃⏁⌇ ⎍⌿?"- but we kill them without reason. thats why they dont like eye contact, its been ingrained in them through evolution that eye contact with a human/player will end in death, and they dont want it to be theirs, so they attack first.

we- or rather, the first minecrafters, maybe (in the lore(?)) people before the game, taught the endermen to fear us. i mean we literally kill them, use their remains to enter their home dimension, and then kill their leader/mother. they do their best to stop us, but we can respawn and they cant. and then, some people even go as far as to make farms, having them all spawn in one place, crowded, cant teleport out- their only defense mechanism gone- and then are slaughtered for their pearls. and due to the mass of these farms there will be chests upon chests full of pearls that no one's using, i saw someone the other day ask what people do with them and someone straight up said they just burn them like god what a waste.

"but izzy, players make mob farms all the time and not just for endermen!!!1!!11! why are the endermen ones so bad why are you only talking about those1!1!1!!!1" 1) because i can, 2) this is an endermen-themed post, and 3) i dont like the other mobs. and of course im not actually mad at the players who like beating the game and making endermen farms and such, i mean thats what it is its all just a game just a bunch of code, 0's and 1's, so why does it matter why bother writing a whole post on it?

because when you look paste the game, when you read in between those ones and zeroes and discover this non-intentional lore, it can make things so much more,, interesting. this is fanfic material. hell, its probably fanart material too. its all for the content to see what the community can create i guess. or maybe i just really like talking about endermen and this has been on my mind for two days now and once i started typing i couldnt stop.

but yeah, thats my final thoughts.

we, humans, experience uncanny valley about the endermen.

but the endermen experience uncanny valley about the players.

[merlions]

from what I can tell, the info about whether it affects top surgery falls into three main categories - namely, it MAY make you ineligible for two types of top surgery if you wear it too long and too frequently but not all types; or some surgeons actually prefer working with the tissue post-binder-use-changes; or it does not affect it at all.

All of those are under the umbrella of "either way, it shouldn't affect your tissue significantly if you use it only for the recommended duration/frequency". (Also, this is important for reasons of spine/rib/lung health.)

You can pay attention - even taking pictures for comparison - to track whether it's having noticeable effects on the tissue and adjust your use accordingly.

Also worthwhile to remember that lots and lots of people who bind can and do get top surgery, so it's definitely possible even if a bit more complicated - in any collection I've ever seen of photos pre-and post-op, there are always at least a couple where you can see some people with visually noticeable changes in breast tissue quality due to binding, and those surgeries seem to have gone just fine.

Any negative effects on bone and soft tissue health can be mitigated by certain things - coughing deeply a few times a day to avoid pain and weakness and fluid accumulation, strengthening torso muscles, etc.

(The coughing thing is actually exactly the same practice as when you pull or break a rib, since both decrease available/safe mobility of your ribcage. I remember when I pulled a rib muscle and this was something I had to do. I got a good sense of when I would need to cough so it's not something you need to be super anxious about forgetting to do imo. And it wasn't frequently enough that it was a huge impediment to my day, even though it caused my pulled rib significant pain to do - if you are finding it feels necessary to deep cough frequently enough that it's impeding your day, you can reduce usage time, talk to a doctor, and/or do things to help like doing exercise while not binding that elevates your respiration rate and depth, like running or fast walking or biking etc).

I personally can't bind because I have ehlers-danlos syndrome and my connective tissue is too weak to withstand the pressure, causing me discomfort to where I cant even wear bras really - but even I could build up the necessary muscle to avoid the problems given proper work and PT. **for everything, it is very, very much more about listening to your body and making adjustments accordingly than it is about any hard and fast rule.**

This is especially pertinent to whether you have pain. A binder should cause feelings of pressure, but they are not SUPPOSED to cause pain. You can always loosen a binder until it doesn't cause pain, and it will still exert enough pressure to make a noticeable difference. Honestly, I tend to notice people seem to have pain only when their binder actually just doesnt fit them correctly.

Any binder you buy should be adjustable, fit your particular measurements well, and have enough stretchy material to allow you to breathe normally (I think the rule of thumb is like at least 50% elastic? I would do research before you buy one but there are super easy to find guidelines on stuff like that).

Also, you can look for one with a good return policy, which I find is common with something where comfort and fit are so important. Different binders have different fits and it's worth trying more if your first binder causes you any pain or discomfort.

Also worthwhile to note that basically all soft tissue is malleable, stretchy, and like all cells in your body, eventually will regenerate given time off. So if you speak to a surgeon who says your breast tissue has been modified to the point where it will affect your chances of [successful] surgery, they should be able to work with you on figuring out a time period you may have to go without binding and check back in to see the level of tissue softness/stretchiness regeneration.

Ok sorry for this huge info dump but I have a huge love of medical info and research, and think anyone who's worrying about binding should have access to as much info as possible so I went a little overboard hahaha. But please feel free to shoot me an ask or message if you have any questions!

hmmmhm generally dont do this but like- is getting a binder worth it???? Like, the restrictions, potential pain or medical problems???? esp if you wanna get surgery later on??? because i. really. want to get one. but ive echochambered myself into a bunch of “this is why binders are bad for you” articles and now im very unsure-

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader

felix x reader | part six of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; pregnancy, slight relation to sex, birth

↬ notes; this took so long lmfao i just had it sitting but i’m finishing up seungmin rnnn 🤓 i’ve been doing requests whew i just have EVERYTHING coming at once

u guys r really surprised 

u two had been in a relationship for four years now so this was inevitable as u two were putting off the pressure of marriage for awhile now

“woah, i’m gonna be a dad!! does this mean u have to call me daddy now?”

0_0

u r s e n s i t i v e

felix first notices this when he gives u a kiss in the morning n ur crying like two seconds after

:((

“why are you crying??!”

“you just leave so early and i miss you!!”

felix skips the day, not rly caring he just wants to cuddle u 🥺

speaking of cuddling u two r so cuddly together now

u guys just cant get enough of each other

ur at practice less often just bc of media and he thinks the house is safer for u

so the boys come over a ton more to the dorm just bc they wanna see u and spend time with u

he is so cute, whenever he sees you he’ll instantly be on his knees to kiss your baby bump and leave u with a light kiss on ur lips

u guys go to ur scan at the beginning of the second trimester

its hush hush and ofc felix has u with the best doctor hes heard of 

his hands are clammy asf, hes smiling and so dazed while he stares at the ultrasound

“look at that!! baby a and baby b!!”

felix is like, 

“oh im gonna pass out”

now he gets these corny ass JOKES like

“wow lix has really GOOD swimmers!!!”

“felix knows his way around the bedroom!!!!!!!!”

poor baby jeongin :( they are POLLUTING HIS MIND

he doesnt but this boy is scared shitless now, two babies?? thats a lot to handle

he likes to shop, a lot. 

for some reason everything is dog themed, puppies on everything and he’ll come home with bags of baby stuff everyday

lix is just so in love with your body

sweaters, t-shirts, hoodies, anything he owns, he 100% wants you to wear it

he might be a little excited at the thought of u in his clothes, it was usual but now u pregnant, he was a little MORE excited

abnormally this guy worships your body 100% 

he loves how easily you can just unravel, to the point of tears and have u begging for him to stop

ok lemme not ill start writing shit type smut anyways chile yes lix loves u A LOT in and out of the bedroom

mmm he’ll always be brainstorming names

aeygo for the babies 🥺

tons of kisses he has plenty to go around

he acquires a new skill called cooking 😣

ur his new favorite taste tester

he’ll read books for them both

tons of research on expecting twins and what to do

“hey, okay.. so i bought a pregnancy pillow, and like, i wanna use it?”

felix has this smirk, holding the huge pillow that is supposed to be a maternity one, but he much prefers himself using it as a regular pillow

he actually goes public with this, knowing that the fans adored u after being his girlfriend for so long nd u soon became a favorite for them

some shit like ‘stays meet your new members’ 😣

this guy has a knack for painting, his newest canvas is your large baby bump, doodling little flowers n hearts or animals on it, sometimes painting characters on it or whatever it may be

u two have this rly cute vlive together which consists of him painting ur baby bump, plenty of fun while he asked stays to tell him what to draw on ur bump :v

“ooh!! a ladybug!!”

he posts the finished project in nice high quality on their official instagram, showing off the many things he had painted

the dreaded bed rest comes into play

u are now nearing seven months, which meant that u should be experiencing labor or maybe labor pains soon

he takes his paternal leave, now indulging in ice-cream and gummy bears with u, rather than working out and drinking nasty smoothies

guess who has that sympathy weight 

(jk he just uses it as an excuse so he can just give up on his diet)

sleep all day

sleep all night

u two are honestly so tired for WHATEVER reason

lix is there to be a cuddle bug, pulling ur back close to his body, ur legs entwined and his hand on top of ur own that was on ur bump

its rly cute just try and picture it for a moment

u guys r trying everything to hurry and get to the end of this seemingly forever pregnancy

he’ll def buy two yoga balls instead of just one for u and he’ll bounce on them with u

who cares ab trying to hurry up y’all are having so much fun regardless of the fact u have to pee every ten minutes

u both forget the thought of it and just go with the flow

making a deal to go with the names for whomever u claimed aka baby a or baby b

i see ur guys timing to be during the summer so its miserable in ur house

its hot n stuffy

u two r just lounging n u both have popsicles, then ur just like

“oh! oh.”

it was a steady gush of fluid between ur legs and that was when the nervousness set in

u two just look at each-other in shock

“oh! we’re having a baby- um.. wow!”

he is abnormally good at keeping calm, helping u keep ur breathing steady and getting everything together 

felix is a pro.

u guys r kinda chilling in the parking lot just quiet and sort of nervous that the next time ur walking out of there you both will have not one, but two babies

“i don’t know if i’m ready yet.”

felix groans, grabbing ur hand

“ur right, ur more than ready. look at us!! parents of two in at least the next twenty-four hours!!” 

his hands r around u in a second to help u up and there to help u walk in

u two honestly decide to play games on ur phone to kill time

felix crawls into ur bed, seeing as how u looked extremely lonely, letting his arms and legs wrap around u n he’s just playing with ur hair

its honestly adorable

u two are really tired for whatever reason, falling asleep like this before u would be consumed in the late nights of being parents

these nurses wake u both up and are just like

“let’s see if we’re ready to meet ur babies!!”

felix is kinda scared but nonetheless he’ll grab ur hand and hold onto it with a smile

10cm woo!

if he wasn’t hyping u up before he is hyping u up right now

ur somewhat laughing and crying while in pain

yall r so weird

felix is there to wipe ur face with the wet cloth, or to give u a sip of water, rly whatever u need he is on it

poor baby just wants to be of help

“here’s baby a! it’s a girl!”

u two have at least a moment with her, taking in her small appearance, felix holding her out for u to see

abruptly cut off by baby b needing to make an appearance

“i don’t wanna do this again.”

“it’s alright, shh. we’re going to have two babies, two perfect ones. we have one little girl, let’s get ready for the next one, yeah? our two babies, you’re doing so good.”

they take away ur little girl while felix does what he already did beforehand

“here’s your second one!! we have a pair of sisters!”

u and felix are so overjoyed at this news, literally sobbing, u two r a mess

both r brought over to u, felix taking in the fact he’s a father of two girls, such small girls

ur both smiley while u kiss them n cuddle them, getting the nurse to take a picture of u two

ur obviously tired, felix emotionally worn out but having the brightest smiles on ur faces while u hold onto ur pair of newborn girls

he’s so proud, he’s the definition of a proud father

lix is holding onto one and he comes over to you, the other one cooing

“that’s it, my three girls.”

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[mondstadtbreeze]

Under the Windtree

Word count: 2.5k

Genre: Hurt/comfort

Aether returns to Mondstadt only to find that Venti hasn't been seen in a few days. He can't shake the feeling that something isn't right.

~

Aether and Paimon come back to Mondstadt after a long time of traveling the country between Mond and Liyue to collect ingredients, artifacts and looking for more clues of the whereabouts of Lumine.

Everyone is happy to see them and he's immediately roped into helping out here and there, despite being tired.

Paimon eventually tells him to stop because she knows he's exhausted and he goes to stay at the Angel's Share.

He was really hoping to see Venti before retiring for the night, but the bard is difficult to get a hold of on the best days, since he doesn't have actual residence in Mondstadt.

He wishes Charles a good night and goes to end the day after a good meal.

~

Aether wakes up the next morning with Paimon gone, probably to get breakfast somewhere and gets ready for the day, happy for the access to a good bath with warm water after weeks.

He finds Paimon at the counter talking Charles' ear off who seems happy to entertain her and Aether sits down with them.

They talk and Aether finds out after asking (he tries to sound casual when he asks, but Charles looks at him a bit too knowing) that Venti hasn't really been seen by anyone around for about 3 days now, which is somewhat rare, but it happens.

Aether cant help but feel worried despite Charles being calm about it but he, better than anyone, knows Venti can take care of himself.

He doesnt look for him.

He goes talk to jean to see if she needs help and to lighten the load he knows she has on her shoulders and then sneaks off with Kaeya to take a break in which they see who can catch a slime faster.

Aether wins and Kaeya promises to smuggle him a drink later.

Kaeya pulls him into a half hug-half headlock and ruffles his hair, dodging Paimon who playfully swats at his head to 'defend' Aether, before they go off to continue their jobs.

Aether finishes some commissions and sinple tasks asked by the citizens until Paimon tells him to go sit for a while.

Venti still hasn't shown his face and Aether is getting anxious now.

He knows the bard is often busy with his own mischief and isn't always around but whenever Aether goes back to Mondstadt he's been there at least a day and most of the time immediately sought him out, as if he knew he was in town.

Which, as the archon of wind, is very likely.

So why hasn't he visited yet?

Was he on a trip?

Did Aether do something wrong the last time he was here?

The thought of that sits like a stone in Aether's stomach, adding to the heavy weight of his anxiety.

He can't sit around and wait.

Something tells him to go look for Venti instead of waiting.

"You really are like a mother hen sometimes, you know?", Paimon says when he asks her to come along.

"Paimon would love to come but...."

They look at the food that's still on the plate.

"Paimon is tired from getting up early and being busy all day."

"I can carry you."

Paimon puffs her cheeks and huffs.

"No way! Paimon isn't a little kid OR a pet! Noone carries Paimon around! Why don't we go look for him tomorrow? He's probably with that dragon anyways. Paimon will come if we wait until tomorrow."

She looks at him a little pleading and Aether can see a hint of concern bleed through.

"You should sleep, too, Aether."

He knows he should.

Aether sighs.

"I'm sorry Paimon, I need to check on him. Something feels... off."

Paimon pouts but nods.

"Paimon will save you a snack for when you come back."

Aether is out of the city faster than he planned to, worry and the growing knot in his stomach bite at his heels and drive him forward.

He decides to go to Starsnatch Cliff first to see if his friend is there but realizes quickly that it was pointless.

He does his best to avoid fights and obstacles on his way back to Windrise.

If Venti isn't there he'll look at Dvalin's Lair and then return to Mond.

He is already making a plan on how to get to Dvalin the fastest when he reaches the statue at Windrise.

He immediately knows that something is wrong.

Looking over the area it seems the same, nothing unusual, not even slimes or hilichurls.

But as soon as Aether steps up to the roots, his foot touching it's tip, the anxiety he'd had the entire time turns into cold, clawing fear.

His throat closes up and he gasps in shock of the sensation as it washes over him.

Aether stumbles back and has to lean against the statue, hold on to it, to keep himself upright.

He knows they aren't his own emotions, has experienced this once or twice before when connecting to statues of the Seven and somehow that knowledge makes it worse, because it means Venti is terrified.

He has to find him, quickly.

Aether fights to push the feelings into the back of his mind and concentrates on the foreign feeling of wind rushing through his body as he leans closer to the statue, closing his eyes.

He can feel it flowing through him, around him, into the statue and back out and-

An image flashes up in his mind, blurry.

He sees the blue sky vaguely and a lot of strings and roots that obscure it. He can also see the river.

Aether let's go immediately and rushes around the tree to where the water would be visible, heart pounding.

He doesn't find Venti right away, mostly because the fear doesn't ebb off but becomes stronger the more he searches.

When he realizes why, he stops moving.

"Venti!", he calls.

No answer, but the fear spikes.

Aether has to blink, to get the tears out of his eyes from the intense feeling.

"Venti, it's Aether!"

He keeps searching and shortly after this he feels the fear lift a little and can think more clearly again.

"...ther.."

Aether freezes and turns to where the voice came from.

Carefully he approaches a spot overgrown with roots and bushes.

Venti is practically invisible behind it, with his green clothing.

He's pushed himself into a hollow at the tree's trunk behind them, like a miniature cavern. Aether can't see a lot with the gloomy lighting but Venti looks like he's slumped against the bark.

"Hey... Traveler", he greets and the faint glow of his braids and half lidded eyes shows just enough for Aether to realize there is blood on his face.

His heart almost stops.

He tries to get closer, but the roots make it impossible for him to reach, almost as if they'd grown there just to protect anyone from getting to Venti.

How did he even climb in there?

"Venti, what happened?", he asks softly, copying the soft tone the bard had used before. Venti looks at him as if he only heard half of it.

"Wait no, don't answer that. I'm here to help, can you move?"

Aether doesn't wait for an answer and instead starts pushing roots aside with more force.

Venti watches him the entire time, sometimes blinking rapidly as if to stay awake, so Aether continues to mumble what he's doing for Venti to concentrate on.

Finally, he reaches out but Venti shakes his head.

"Don't think I should move... right now."

"I can't get a look at you or help you in here", Aether explains and grabs for him anyways.

Before the bard can do anything against it, Aether has shoved his arms under his legs and behind his back and lifts him out of the hole.

He almost drops him when Venti screams in pain.

"Down! Aether!", he yelps right after, but Aether carries him further.

When he puts him down, it's in a spot he can prop Venti's back up against a large rock.

The bard is still holding onto him, fingers clawed into Aether's shirt, but let's go tohold his sode when he moves too sudden.

And then Aether finally catches sight of what happened.

He gasps in horror when his hands come away from Venti's stomach stained in red.

There is old blood plastering his shirt to his body and new that now seeps further into spots that used to be white.

Aether realizes that, whatever this wound came from, he just opened it up again.

But there is no time for blaming himself now.

"Venti. Venti look at me."

The bard is staring at his stomach, breathing heavily, and Aether has to practically force his head up to get his attention.

"Can you understand what I'm saying?"

Venti blinks. He looks tired.

He nods.

"Good. How long have you been here?"

"A day... maybe", is the quiet answer and Venti seems to struggle with even just that.

Aether's mind is racing.

A day with a wound like this would've killed any normal human.

Which Venti is not.

Should he leave him here? For the tree to heal him?

Venti answers the question before he can ask it.

"Isn't working. Not... healing."

He moans in pain when he tries breathing in deeply and then... doubles over, coughing and gasping for air.

Aether yells his name, doing his best to hold him upright, so he doesn't hit his head.

Venti coughs one more time, wheezing painfully, before he slumps against Aether.

He stops moving.

The blood in Aether's veins freezes.

"Venti! Venti, wake up!"

He doesn't think he's ever felt this cold.

Venti isn't responding and his breathing is too shallow.

The fear Aether feels is his very own this time.

He does his best to swallow around the panic, checking Venti's pulse and, upon finding it, lifts him up again.

Venti is so much lighter than he looks and Aether has to hold back a sob, when he feels the blood run down his hand.

Before he knows it, he's running.

He knows he shouldn't move someone with a wound like this, but he doesn't have any other choice to help him.

This way there is at least a chance of reaching Barbara before... before...

Aether concentrates on the wind around him and sprints.

Barbara is just about to leave the church when there is a ruckus from outside and the doors burst open, splintering in their hinges at the same time as Aether yells "HELP! I NEED HELP!"

She's at his side within a second and flinches in shock when she recognizes who Aether is carrying and what state the bard is in.

There is blood all over both of them and the look Aether throws her is one of feral desperation.

Barbara gets to work.

~

Venti had stopped breathing right when Aether had reached the steps of the Church of Favonius.

Aether still feels the dread and panic sit in his throat, which is why he hasn't taken his eyes off of the bard since Barbara told him to lay him down in the churches backroom.

A few hours ago, Venti had woken up, feverish and in pain, repeatedly mumbling what Aether believed to be the word "Himmel", before slipping back into a fitful sleep, brows furrowed and face screwed up in pain.

Eventually Aether starts switching between carding a hand through Venti's dark hair and running a finger along his brows and forehead as if to ease the creases out of it.

It works for a while.

Venti wakes up feeling like he got stomped on by a geo vishap.

His vision is blurry, everything hurts and he's still tired.

What keeps him from going back to sleep, however, is the body next to him.

When Venti looks down, he finds himself face to face with Aether.

He's snoring lightly, eyes moving behind closed lids.

A few lose hair strands hang into his face.

When Venti moves a little, Aether hums and then buries his face in the crook of Venti's neck.

He holds his breath and when he moves again, he realizes that Aether's hand is on his hip, holding him losely to his body.

Venti lets out the air he's holding in a stutter, doing his best not to disturb the other.

His heart is thumping loudly against his ribcage, fluttering every time Aether's breath hits his skin.

He almost forgets his own pain.

Almost.

He groans loudly when he tries to turn and suddenly Barbara is right next to him.

"You should move him if it hurts you", she says quietly without greeting but Venti shakes his head softly.

"I'm fine. Promise!"

Barbara smiles gently as she puts her hand on his forehead, nods a little and holds a straw towards him.

He drinks and makes a face at whatever medicine she's just given him.

She gives him another glass with straw and only water and he drinks it greedily.

"You were hurt pretty badly. Who attacked you?"

"Noone who will ever hurt anyone again", Venti replies cryptically and Barbara nods, although a little disapproving.

Then she nods to Aether.

"You were lucky he found you on time. You weren't breathing when he got here."

Venti swallows.

Not breathing? That was close.

"O...oh. Guess I'll have to thank him for that."

"You better. A lot of us would be in trouble without him. It's no surprise that he'd end up helping you out eventually as well."

Venti giggles softly.

If she only knew just how MUCH he owed Aether for.

Speaking of...

"What is he doing here still?"

"He insisted on staying. He was very distraught when he arrived and only calmed down when he was able to see you were breathing again."

She clicks her tongue disapprovingly when she add: "Ripped the church doors out of their hinges when he arrived."

Venti gapes at her.

"That's... kind of h-"

Barbara puts her hand over his mouth faster than he can finish and tries to look upset.

"I will not have this kind of conversation in our Lord Barbatos' church. What if he hears! Such frivolous words, bard."

Venti chuckles.

"Oh, I'm sure he'd agree with me."

"Blasphemy!", she hisses playfully and he laughs lightly and sticks his tongue out.

"You seem to be recovering well. I'll leave you to sleep some more. Kick the honorary knight out of bed if he hurts you."

She pauses shortly.

"I'm glad you're better, Venti. Don't go off alone next time."

With that she leaves.

Venti lets out a shuddering breath as he relaxes.

Aether mumbles something against his neck and Venti shudders under the sensation.

He experimentally runs his fingers over Aether's spine.

The other hums in his sleep.

Venti swallows his nerves.

He could let himself indulge in this.

This one time.

He closes his eyes and, as far as he can, curls closer into Aether, who's quiet snoring and slow breathing lulls him into a soft daze.

He turns his head to bury his nose in Aether's hair, feeling nothing but comfort and safety, before he fell back asleep.

[mesukohi]

Embers

Isuka x Portgas D. Ace

Summary:

A familiar face visits Ace a few hours prior his execution

Abandon all your hope, ye who enter here is scribbled on the dusty brick walls that surrounded a certain flame commander. Goosebumps raises in response to the cold air that swiftly caresses skin, a touch from the reaper himself, meaning to guide him into river Styx to what could be the heaven or the underworld. He had already forgotten the concept of time, the absence of sunlight making the difference of day and night blurry to those who are unfortunate enough to end up in impel down. The shackles made of sea stone continued to suffocate his wrist, cutting away the demon blood that circulated his weakened body.

He has no regrets, that's for sure.

Even though that shadows of death is near, he will wholeheartedly welcome it with open arms. As long as luffy is safe. As long as pops is safe. That is all that matters.

The sounds of footsteps nearing his cell snapped the freckled man from his thoughts. A warden he barely know hits the metal bars to alert him that a visitor has arrived to see him. He wasn't expecting one in all honesty, but if this visitor is able to reach impel down in such a short notice, perhaps the unknown guest is someone who has name and power in regards to the government.

And he was right.

There, in front of his cell is a woman with fiery hair he was too familiar with. Her once short locks has now reached her hips, gloved hand hiding the burnt scars that he used to kiss. Her eyes glowed sienna against the harsh lighting, and on her shoulders was the coat of justice that the navies wore with pride. She was not a mere ensign anymore by the way those medals hung against her crisp uniform but still, he knows, that she remained that kind and loving woman he met years ago.

"Isuka" he breathes, parched throat rasping her name instead.

"Its nice to see you again, Firefist" the redhead greets, arms crossing indignantly. "I never thought the day would come that I won't be happy to see you locked up in a cell"

"Fiesty as ever" he chuckled "Did you just visit me so that you could tell that joke?"

"No, not really" she stepped closer, eyes adjusting to meet the the prisoner's lonely gaze "I'm here to visit an old friend"

"We're not just friends, Isu" Ace cleared, the corner of his lips stretching to form a bitter smile.

"Call me Captain Isuka now, that nickname doesnt matter anymore" she answered, voice firm.

"You used to love it when I called you that"

"Damn it Ace, just stop!" the navy exclaimed, lone boot stomping against the ground. "All of that is in the past now. We made our choices! We took different paths that are polar opposites and there's nothing we can do to change it!" Tears began to form on the corner of her eyes, the naval biting her lips to prevent the waterworks from falling "This is not the time and place... I don't even know if there will be one. For once in your life, can you please let me say goodbye in peace?"

"I won't die Isu" Ace assured lovingly, "As long as my brothers can remember me, as long as you hold me in your memory I wont"

"But I don't want you to be a memory" Isuka broke "I want you alive. I want to see your bounty raise, I want to see the changes of your smiles in your damn wanted posters. I want you to live!"

"But it's too late now is it?" he retorted, brown irises gleaming sadly "I made my choice Isu. This is the life I wanted. The best thing you could do is keep pops and luffy safe"

"But what about me?! Did you even took the time to think what I wanted?! Why are you always so stubborn, Ace!" she snapped, gloved hands gripping the metal bars that separated her and her beloved "Your ears were always closed. You never listen to anybody! Now look at you! I can't even hold you. I cant even touch you let alone kiss you goodbye!"

Slowly, her knees fell to the ground, pained sobs echoing against the cold brick walls.

"You should've listened to me and became a warlord. That way, at least we have the slightest chance to be together"

"I... can't. I won't" the pirate answered, head held down guiltily "Even if you ask me now, my answer will be the same. That position is not for me, you know that more than anyone"

"And I respect that but still..." she inhales deeply, harvesting enough courage to quell the fire on her chest "I suppose I just have to suck it up and accept that this is not our time" she began, watery eyes meeting his "Maybe in another world we were meant to be happy. But not here. Not in this one. We were meant to meet each other but we are not fated to be together. And it hurts Ace! Its ripping me apart"

"I know" he answered, the flood on his cheeks starting "And it hurts me to see you suffer. This is my fault. Just forget about me and move on. You deserve to be happy"

"Don't ask me to move on as if that's an easy feat!" she yelled back, snot dripping from her nose "Do you think I have moved on already when we left each other years ago? For fuck's sake Ace, I never did! I won't be standing in front of you right now if I've already forgotten you. You are hard to forget! The happiness we shared before is tattooed in my mind and it surfaces no matter how much i suppress it!"

Footsteps echoed abruptly, indicating that the guard from before has returned to fetch the visitor. The redhead raises her hand, asking for a few more minutes in which the warden grumbled "two" before standing prostate on the side. Isuka darts back at the guilt ridden prisoner, memorizing the face that will soon depart the living world.

"I will not be in marineford Ace" she admitted, taking a step back from his cell "I'm not going to stand there and watch you die. Im not going to fight the people you hold on your heart dearly. I'll be home waiting until this nightmare ends"

She turned on her heels, preparing to leave.

"I am thankful to have met you. I am thankful that you loved me. I am thankful of the fond memories that you have given me. I know I shouldn't be saying this but... I do hope that your father will be able to save you. Goodbye, Firefist"

"Isu, wait!" he calls, making the navy captain stop on her tracks "Do you... Do you still love me?" he asked exasperatedly.

She gives him a gentle smile, eyes filled with a lonely light as she spoke.

"I never stopped loving you, Ace. And I will continue to love you no matter where you are"

There are eight more hours until Portgas D. Ace's execution. And right now, he realizes that he has one regret.