#which considering the fact that i've been some degree of abnormal about it since the age of 13 tells you a lot about how this will go

[fairyblue-alchemist]

*look at your tags on the post you reblogged from me and giggles*

Love you Zuzu /p

I hope you’re having a good day <3

hehe i'm glad my tags made you giggle ♡♡♡ because hey wtf-

ilyt zephie ♡♡♡ /p i'm having a pretty nice day and i hope you're having a good one too ♡♡♡♡♡

[intersexfairy]

i have a question that i hope is not too vague to be answered.... if you have a trait that could be considered both within normal variation but also an intersex trait, and that is typically because in the intersex case it is because of an underlying medical reason and inner mechanism, would it not be possible for the case of it that does not have an underlying medical reason to be an intersex trait, mainly when you've had the weird reactions for it that's common from perisex people towards atypical sex traits and have been treated like you're bizarre for it (from medical professionals.....)? even if it technically is "within normal variation" with no medical component to it

(adding that i actually do not know which case it is for me yet and i already know i'm intersex for other reasons but this is just coming off like i have another intersex trait no matter which it is but its confusing since i have no clue if i have the actual medical reason behind it or if maybe just some of the medical professionals i've seen are just inexperienced)

**disclaimer: i am one intersex person. this is my view and other intersex people/communities may view this differently.**

this ask is a little confusing, and i can't really directly say yes or no without knowing what trait(s) you're talking about but... there are intersex people whose physical sex traits fit within the bounds of what's considered "normal," but still have an intersex variation. that intersex variation still impacts how their body functions - it's just to that, as far as appearance goes, it's to a much more subtle degree compared to someone who is visibly intersex (like me). but in someone without an intersex variation, traits within-bounds aren't intersex.. except for when they are. it's not a cut and dry line in the slightest.

i guess an example is me vs. my sister. i don't know if my sister also inherited the intersex variation, but odds are she did. and even though she passes as dyadic, she'd still be intersex. she's still struggled to fit within women's beauty norms, still experiences abnormal periods, will likely have fertility problems, still got (relatively) early puberty and maxed out at 4'11.. she's also hypermobile too (we may have CAH X Syndrome). although, of course, those are all things dyadic women can experience - it's just that if it's caused by an intersex variation, it adds an extra layer to the experience.

what marks intersex people is the fact our bodies (in appearance or function) don't conform to the sex binary and we have some kind of congenital factor that results in said sex variation (and often also reproductive disability). i know this is a medicalized view to some, but for me, it's more about embracing that intersexness is divergent on the axis of sex and ability - we're often not only oppressed for breaking the binary, but because our bodies do not function like dyadic, abled people's do. we face both queerphobia and ableism, due to a root cause (intersex variation/condition). we (as a group) don't have to disconnect ourselves from the "medical" side of our experiences to deserve rights (like, bodily autonomy and not being eugenics'd out of existence).

so yeah. maybe it's intersex, maybe it's not, but no matter what, your experiences are still important. intersex people aren't the only ones who struggle in regards to the binary (or the resulting discrimination and oppression that follows). i hope that, if you want it, you can figure out if you have an intersex variation. although, i will say that not every intersex variation has a diagnostic condition to back it... and sometimes intersex variation is as simple as the trait itself (like, clitoromegaly w/o a clear cause) which can make things even more confusing.

[absolutebl]

I've been a huge BL fan (series, fanfics, etc) for about a year but I'm still very new to this BL world and today I saw a post on soc media from some Trans activists with a caption "straight girls who fetishize gay guys are just as creepy as straight guys who fetishize lesbians". And then there were lots of comments like 'fujoshis, this is for you' or 'every yaoi fan girl ever' or 'every fandom ever' (I do know the meaning of yaoi and fujoshi). What do you think about that statement? Is it really that bad that we girls/women fangirl over fictional and sometimes real life gay couples? During my entire life I never realized that I'd be so much into BL (that's probably because I never really came across a lot of gay series/movies/stories/fanfics before when I was younger, only recently) and now ever since I became a huge fan I have seen that there are literally thousands of women who love it too. So is it really fetishizing?

Thank you

And btw I love your blog so much, one of my absolute favourite 💜💜

Aw hi hon!

I actually kinda tackle this, tangentially, in this post:

Will BL Get More Honestly Queer?

It's a pro normalization stance with pro straight allies feels.

So is straight women loving BL really fetishization?

From a kink perspective, no it's not fetishization. As a kinkster I have to say I don't like that term being coopted and used as a slur, either. That's just non-kinksters using kink as the lowest order punching bag for them to abuse (puns intended).

Technically for kinksters, 

a fetish is a sexual act or element that is REQUIRED by the person who has said fetish to get off.

Oxford says:

a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.

Oh but there's that word we all love "abnormal." 

Sigh.

Still, by either definition, my answer to "So is it really fetishizing?" is... no it's not. Because that's not what fetish means.

But this is how I feel about it as a queer kinkster and others are entitled to their own opinions. (So long as they don't present said opinion as fact, I suppose.)

Like everything else on Twitter, (and that smacks of a Twit-izm, so you didn't say twitter but I'm assuming) reduction has oversimplified the statement out of all inherent meaningful discourse or quality of thought.

Frankly i find outrage culture completely exhausting. I can't barely work up the enthusiasm to brush my damn teeth, getting upset up over pop culture that gives people pleasure, especially pleasing women who have precious little joy in their lives, just seems sad to me.

On the flip side:

It is interesting to consider, as a straight woman (or a lesbian, or a person not really attracted to men, or as a person not attracted to sex/relationships), why you are drawn to BL? Why you find this kind of narrative attractive, sexy, warming, comforting and NOT the straight ones? I do think self reflection can be quite interesting. Especially around desire.

But then again, as a queer kinkster, the nature of my own desires has resulted in a certain amount of self reflection my whole damn life.

Okay now... weird comparison but here we go. 

Wouldn’t publicly admitting to liking BL be a little like a straight woman experiencing a kind of coming out? I mean if admitting to loving BL gets you bullied, criticized, and abused? Like hello, welcome to the party. Guess who has a lifetime of knowledge about admitting to liking and/or being sexually turned on by a thing and then shamed for it, the queers and the kinksters! 

Finally, I think the original 1:1 has an issue with conflation. (Having just played about with conflation myself, my bad.) 

Still, the men/lesbian = women/BL cases cannot be compared because the power held by (and invested in) male sexuality, gaze, and straight sexual desire and its ability to objectify women (and companion impact on social power in society) is materially different from female and feminine desires and its social power.

As a result the original statement is, by default, pitting feminist issues against queer activism. I don't like anything that puts a fissure between queer and feminist, because I believe queer/trans rights are feminist issues. (I've talked about this before but I can't find that post and I'm tired...) 

Anydinglebury, read that linked post above, it's a lot more coherent than I am currently being.

Suffice it to say that what motivates me is cohesion and support, sharing affection and delight, as well as education and understanding - not being divisive or encouraging outrage or shock or us/them mentalities.

But that's what drove me to Tumblr instead of other platforms. Sure this is the original hellhole, but that hellhole is well lubed (sorry not sorry) and it's also a greyspace that seems to capable of containing multitudes (still not sorry) in a way other hellscapes can't (or won’t).

Besides, the people that do not like me or disagree with me here, well they just block my dumb arse. So much easier that way.

(source) 

[taeyungie]

I'm studying psychology in pl (a very specific specialisation but it's psychology nonetheless), and, well, it all depends on the university and even the faculty you want to choose. What's important and I think universal (please someone correct me if I'm wrong, it applies to pl and uk for sure) is that psychology degree does not really give you the qualification to be a therapist, you have to go through another 4 years of schooling to get them (and pay for it A LOT of money lol) so if that's why you consider psychology, have that in mind! And it's not only psychotherapy, you'd need extra schools and certifications for many jobs even if you have your degree.

Psychology is a really broad subject, from 'classic' abnormal psychology to psychology of sports, creative processes etc so it's not like you can't do anything with the degree alone - we need psychologists in many many spaces! But, because of how broad it is, it might seem that some aspects of psychology are not covered deeply enough which means that if you get particularly interested in a topic and start thinking about it as what you'd like to do in life, you'll have to put a lot of your own work in studying and research.

I really enjoy what I'm studying (with some exceptions lol,) I found a niche in which I feel comfortable and with which I'm absolutely fascinated (and I hope to write my thesis on it but that's, well, uncertain 💀) I think psychology is an extremely interesting corner of the scientific world, but you have to be ready to put a lot of your own effort in it, be aware that studying psychology is not a therapy or an opportunity to self-diagnose (I'm saying it just in case! I've seen far to many people do that, and it's dangerous, and, unfortunately, very easy to fall into,) that you might be disappointed by some things (like I was after reading Butcher's chapter of 'Abnormal psychology' about sexual orientations and disorders,) and that it can be very triggering and heavy to process if you tend to be affected by possibly triggering materials or topics.

Hope I helped a little bit, I'll be happy to answer any of your questions if you have some! Have a lovely day ❤

oh that is awesome anonie! i'm so glad you reached out to me! with the way you described the educational system, the courses, getting the degree and additional schooling after uni sounds exactly like the one in my country!! of course i did my research before even considering it, and i think i'm aware of most of the difficulties that it would bring, but honestly... which uni course is easy, attending university isn't easy no matter what we choose KANSJSKS 💀 and psychology is something i have been fascinated by for years, i know it's not strictly humanist oriented subject which is perfect for me, because for example - i wouldn't be able to handle studying philosophy in which i'm just as interested in, i was always good at humanistic subjects but i also always have always been leaning towards scientist subjects too, but i can't go study physics or engineering because i'm too dumb 💀💀 so i thought that psychology how would be perfect. also with the way that after getting a degree there's many ways it can go, many things i can do, because personally i don't think i'd be fit to become a therapist (i don't hate the idea, it just don't think i'd be able to handle being a psychotherapist) i do not worry too much about addictional courses after studying at uni for half of the decade already LOL (but time will show which way i wanna go, i'm still not sure of pretty much anything).

But since I'm very lost and not sure what to study, I thought that maybe it'd be better to just study something that I'm actually interested in and will be enjoying learning about, you know? I am fully aware that the course isn't easy, there's a lot of work, a lot of reading, a lot of studying, heavy topics and a lot of time that has to be put into gaining knowledge, but so is everywhere else, i will be exposed to the stress and overwhelming amounts of work no matter w which course I'll take, so again - it's something i'm interested in anyway, so it should be easier for me to absorb the knowledge, at least that's how it is for me when studying anything that i like. But I'm glad you also brought to the surface the fact that some people who choose to study psychology go for it and hope for it to be their therapy session... And it's very important thing for me too, because as a person not stable mentally myslef, I am fully aware how important that is to not mix our own state with things we might be hearing or learning about during classes, because of that fact i was often finding myslef wondering "is that a good idea? will i be able to handle all that? studying psychology while not being mentally stable myslef?" but i think it's wrong to think so, and i shouldn't put myslef down like that, because it's not psychology in practicular that i'm afraid of, it's more the fact that i'm afraid if i will be able to handle studying at university at all, no matter what course i would take, but i also know that i tend to doubt myslef a lot all the time, so i think i shouldn't really listen what my doubts have to say hahah.

Just like you said it'd make it dangerous for me and make it extremely difficult trying to pass the grade while wondering about my own diagnosis, i know it's not about that, and I am able to separate the two, otherwise i think it'd be difficult not to fail the classes LMAO SKNSJSKS Also, with the way I was planning to go on therapy myslef, I know that things i would be learning at school don't have to, and probably won't be related to my own issues at all, it's not what it's all about. I think I can say I have a very strong mentality and I do not get easily triggered, i have a good control over my own mind especially when i'm surrounded by people, so that also makes it easier, but still I know that we're only humans and everything can happen, but that's also normal. but yeah, i think that's it, i don't have any more questions for now hahah and your words actually cleared my mind a little bit!! so thank you sooooo much for writing all that, we both ranted a little LMAO 💀💓 thank you for taking your time to message me, i appreciate that so much, and i will keep thinking about it, it's still not my final decision, I'm just collecting knowledge hehe thank you so much again, and i hope you have an amazing day too!! please stay healthy and don't overwork yourself 💓 good luck with your thesis too!! 💓💓