#which caught me off guard bc i wasnt prepared for that. so i was just like

[froqgy]

hmmm :-) my art has improved a lot..!

[yamagucji]

# — MATCHUP REQUEST

for. yemilnisu

submission. for my valentines special event

I matched you with...

Iwaizumi Hajime!

okok i really wanted to match you with kenma or tsukki but consider... hajime ✨

please spare me i just think he’s a great match

he’s absolutely smitten for you

wanna go on a road trip? he’s down. snorkeling? that too. wanna bake? hm... not his best suit but he’s willing to give it a shot if you’re there

take him to an amusement park and he’s sure to give you a good time

“hajime...” you spoke, bag full of prizes set down beside you. “you’re rolling up your sleeves again-”

you’re standing, quite dumbstruck, seeing iwai play another game after joking about wanting to get their limited edition plushie

he’s absolutely competitive (though he won’t say it), putting all his passion into whatever he’s doing

the thing iwa’s doing: playing to get you your 9th plushie

oh, might i add that he isn’t one to get scared easily?

he’d wanna go to the scariest rides

so if you’re up for such a dare, then whew make sure you have a lot of stamina and energy

but it looks more like you tugging him by his sleeves and him trying to catch up to you while there’s a whole sack of plushies on his back (because he refuses to let you carry it)

dates with iwa are always so adventurous because he’s someone who enjoys thrill and making the most of it

the two of you definitely go on a lot of trips and oikawa’s jealous bc he wishes he could go too </3

oikawa: oh you’re going to the beach? isn’t that a three hour trip from here? ah— i’ll just go ahead and prepare”

you, nervously sweating: well you see-

iwa: you’re not invited 😐

oikawa: 😟😔💔

GKFJJD JK HE BEEN KNEW HE WASNT INVITED HE JUST WANTED TO JOKE AROUND

anyway, back to the main couple

iwa’s definitely the type to pester you about sunscreen because he doesn’t want you to get sunburnt

“here,” he said, already taking out his own pair of sunscreen before you could. “take some of this”

ask him to put in on for you i dare you

the two of you will be incredibly tired after the day but iwa’s still there to drive you home

he’d be much more careful when it comes to driving, helping you get a bit of nap on the way

if you fall asleep, iwa would be willing to stop by the side of the highway for a second to adjust your seat and tuck you under a blanket

“comfortable?” you heard iwa’s voice beside you, his hands patting down the blanket over your figure. you only managed to let out a sleepy hum — to which he was content with

when the two of you are at home there’s definitely gonna be a fight between who gets to choose the movie you’ll watch 💔

iwa: hey, the new marvel movie just got released on tv. let’s go watch it

you, already shuffling over to the list of crime documentaries:

iwa: 👁👄👁

a second later, also iwa: people who are too weak for ketchup shouldn’t be watching scary shows

THE BANTER WITH HIM PLEASE, this man knows how to tease back — i mean he’s been with oikawa for so long

iwa’s pretty comfortable with teasing you behind closed doors, though he never has any ill intent of course

he just loves hearing you laugh🥺 but he won’t tell you though >:(

iwa loves your voice even more, and everytime he sees you reading he always has the urge to just —

“can you read to me?”

and you’re caught off guard in the couch, staring up at iwa who was sitting on the arm rest, arms crossed and face away from you

usually he’d just let you read in peace, sometimes patting your head whenever he had passed you, until this very moment

“...what?” you asked

he sighs, probably a bit embarrassed that he has to repeat himself. “could you —

“ah...” and iwa’s lightly rubbing the back of his neck, staring up at the ceiling in thought

“could you read to me? if that’s okay”

you’ve never heard his voice so gentle... so quiet

you’d nudge for him to join you on the coach and he’d be a little hesitant, clearly flustered judging by the blush on his face

in general, iwa can appear to be extremely rough and strong but he is most gentle with you

like the times when you’re painting, and there’s a smudge of color on your face. iwa will walk up to you and softly brush it off with his thumb

or when you’re baking something and you accidentally burnt your finger

he’s there the next second, blowing on your finger and kissing it better

whenever oikawa sees him with you, he’s always in disbelief because wow iwa’s never been this soft and completely smitten before

[bagilgulhaze]

Tw; suicide attempt, mental illness, suicide: I'm safe, everyone is safe, nothing happened currently or at any recent time. No danger, not about me.

I know I'm barely active on tumblr but after forever of not venting on social media, there is just no where like tumblr and its illusion of anonymity to do so. Like. Hm. I know many suicidal people in my life, you kmow, almost all people I know are mentally ill to varying degrees, I am mentally ill. I'm fortunate enough to rarely if ever feel suicidal I felt hopeless and self destructive and trapped. At height of my depression I felt like i understand why people commit suicide: because they really cant care about anything, and I got how they could do it. But I didnt want to do it, or seriously consider it, I just understood how ppl living lifetime like that without being able to see themselves ever get better for even moments, just . Going through life like that not like me temporarily do it.

My suicidal friends get actually suicidal not just like me, but I never felt concerned...for their life. I felt concerned for their well being, deeply, concerned that they are in a place where they want to die, where it's something they think about at all and sometimes think about a lot. Concerned that they are doing so badly mentally that they are constantly fighting suicidal thoughts to stay alive, but I knew, that unless something drastic changed with their life/support system/mental state, at least i was never worried about suicide I was worried they're suicidal.

And then theres my roommate :( and they're more than just my roommate, they really grew to be like, my family? They're an older sibling like, in every way but blood to me at this point, and we joke about everythinnnggggggg like everything like from their growing up in extreme poverty to like any of our mental illnesses and like whatever but with much love and never actual sting - and part of that is the fact that I know they are depressed/suicidal, even if not actively you know but, it is there. They couldnt finish lots of milestones due to paralyzing depression that didnt allow them to leave the house or even speak for a decade. But - literally. which is crazy because they're one of the smartest most educated & intelligent people I know and they never even finished highschool. So what there is to do but joke you know 🤷‍♀️ life sucked, we're here now, still struggling but vaguely better and very alive, most of the time (to both lol), so we genuinely support each other but we also banter - " shut up I'm gonna kill you!!!" "You keep promising.."

But the thing is, that this isnt the first time where it really hits me how close they were to actually committing suicide you know, I knew they were more serious about suicide than most of my suicidal friends but, it just, really hit me you know. The first time they told me about a suicide attempt they were drunk and it was very brief, making another point and also talking about something else, and I.. was really shaken. They didnt notice at the time because again, they were drunk (?) And I mean i didnt mind them talking, it just really effected me. But this time it caught me off guard again... they casually said something about moving somewhere, and I was like omg you wanted to move there I didnt know, and they were like yeah bc (but there was a friend over so they said nvm later lol) and then...I casually asked why they wanted to move and. They were like yeah bc I was planning to commit suicide and (their actual plan, not down to detail of the suicide they never say that clearly but you know, the atmosphere which would allow and how they prepared to it). And it's never said dramatically, or with more than a sentence or two but it just suddenly become so real. Like. I can see. I can see them planning to do it and I dont know how and I dont wanna know how hut I know that in at least one point in their life they knew exactly how, and if ambulance (and then police came too) wasnt involved it would have happened.

And then I think about one of my best friends who lost his ex roommate last year, she committed suicide and it really shook our community bc she was a major figure here. And he was only roommates with her for short period of time, and they were close, not as close as me and Jac are though. And ...of course, it was devastating to him, he didnt think it would really happen you know? Who does? He knee she is struggling we are all struggling and then it happened and then it was final and then it was too late. And I keep. Keep thinking in those moments. What if it will happen to me, what if I'll be in his place one day in the future what if things will go so wrong, and I'll be the one who lost her ex roomate but it will be so much worse because I'll lose my sibling/family...

This time they werent really drunk so... they figured I'm actually concerned and were like oh no dont...dont look like that I'm fine , shouldnt have said anything aw maya dont make that face etc. And they are. They are fine right now, and I'm not gonna make big deal out of this and I didnt I just kinda. Made a face and made a small joke u know and was like you're screwed bc if u had any plans you shouldn't have become my roommate bc now ur disallowed of dying: ever

.em k kwkkzkwls xanywayyy I'm fine nothing happened really those t hi bugs happened in the past and they're not in that place now. Medication is different life situation is different they improved ..a lot you know mentally. I just. Yeah