#which I'd think would happen more if it solely meant 'I wasn't kidding about those tags! don't complain if you don't want to read that!'

[paradife-loft]

Hi! Thanks for responding to my DDDNE poll! Quick question for you, because you mentioned something I find interesting about option 5: what portrayal do you think DDDNE implies/indicates that CNTW doesn’t? Thanks for your contribution to Science!

Ooh, you're welcome!

So, I think the basic sense for me, is that Choose Not To Warn can come from so many potential angles, that while it indicates the likely presence of some(?) sort of archive-warning-relevant content in a fic, it doesn't indicate anything on its own as far as the tone of the fic, or the overall prevalence or importance of the potentially-upsetting material. Dead Dove is more targeted and specific, about the centrality of said material to the whole experience of reading the fic, and quite likely the degree of graphic detail about the situation that the writing is going to lean into. A fic listed as CNTW for (say) character death content, could just as well have said death occur at the end of the story with the moment itself not lingered on, as have it be up-front, rendered in detail intended to be visceral and disturbing. Whereas in general, I would only expect content closer to the second option if said character death was given a Dead Dove label.

At the same time, I personally don't tend to take the CNTW label on its own as saying anything about (even disturbing) fic content that isn't relevant to the specific archive warning categories. DDDNE though is a lot more open-ended as far as what it might entail. I suppose a fairly concise summary of the differences to me, is that CNTW (by virtue of its position among the other archive warnings) is a message about the literal, factual content of a fic, regardless of how that content comes into play; whereas DDDNE by itself conveys a message of prominently featuring or leaning into something fucked up, but doesn't say what specific type of fucked up situation is involved.

I hope that's helpful! The way people use various warnings and tags and such is quite interesting to me, so your poll was fun to see!

[lavender-butterfly-cookie]

I meant the isekai x self-aware fic with the team that you would never fight. I love it and want to see a part 2 of it. (sorry if I worded my previous ask incorrectly and confused you into thinking I was talking about another fic!)

OH- Butterfly- be more specific next time. I got around 3 different self-aware crk au's going on and you ought to specify which one you're referring to. I'm gonna mix them up if you don't T T Anyways, part two coming right up

Previous part

The ball's in your court pt2

While the battle between the heroes and Shadow Milk cookie raged on, Y/N cookie was just chilling with the kids and watching from the side eating popcorn (From where? nobody knows). The fight was pretty much still a 50/50 battle since neither team was taking enough damage for defeat. When did Shadow Milk cookie become THIS resilient??? Oh well, provided you got the healers doing their job and everyone else is holding up it would be fine.

Gingerbrave: So...

Strawberry cookie: The baker, hm?...

Wizard cookie: I thought you'd be bigger...

Y/N cookie: the feeling is mutual. And take as much time as you need to come to terms with it.

Strawberry cookie: And those cookies- the ones you brought to fight. Are... they the really like the ones we know? As in- the white lily cookie and dark cacao cookie. I don't know who the other two are.

Y/N cookie: Yes and no. Unlike the cookies of this universe, these ones are solely brought in to fight the enemy on my command. And if they crumble it's not a permanent death. They'll always come back provided I choose to use them for battle again. And even if I don't, they're on standby. Though I don't exactly think I'll need to put any of them on the bench with how well the battle is going.

Y/N cookie looks back at the fight, which hasn't calmed down in the slightest. But at least they were slowly getting the upper hand. The three other cookies looked at each other before looking at the baker.

Wizard cookie: So you're saying that anyone you choose to fight for you can and will appear?

Y/N cookie: Yeah, but that'll probably only be possible once I beat this boss or they lose.

Gingerbrave: Wow! This is so cool! It's like some awesome video game in real life!

Y/N cookie:... riiiiiiiiiiiight......

Strawberry cookie: I have a question.

Y/N cookie: Ask away.

Strawberry cookie: Earlier you said something about... Elder Faerie crumbling?... I-is that really gonna happen?

Y/N cookie: Uhh

Wizard cookie: Oh so I wasn't the only one who heard that.

Y/N cookie: Well-

Gingerbrave: Wait- he's gonna crumble?! When?!

Y/N cookie: Ok just calm down so I can speak, geez!

All three cookies go silent, looking up at Y/N cookie with visible concern as they sigh.

Y/N cookie: So originally, he supposed to die. I'm not gonna go into too much detail cuz that's way too many spoilers but yeah, he dies. I was admittedly hoping it wouldn't come to that since a whole lot of dialogue was changed, but I guess there odds of the story changing were pretty low.

Gingerbrave: W-when does it happen?! Maybe we can stop it?!

Y/N cookie: Considering how long the fight's been going I'd say right about-

Just then there was a yell of pain from the battle grounds, causing all the cookies to look at the source. Surprise surprise, Elder faerie was dying.

Y/N cookie: Now...

The four went to the scene. (skipping the whole using the guardians strength part because it's gonna take forever for me to finish this story if I don't.)

Y/N cookie: Can't you heal him or something, Mystic flour cookie?

Mystic flour cookie: No.

Y/N cookie: Why not-

Mystic flour cookie: I'm not about to interfere with a canon event.

Y/N cookie: Ah- fair.

Burning Spice cookie: And so the old fool dies. And yet, I still feel nothing.

Y/N cookie: Wait is that a ref-

White Lily cookie: WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO NOCHALANT ABOUT THIS?! I JUST BECAME A GUARDIAN FOR TREES SAKE!

Moonflower Faerie: You'll get over it.

White Lily cookie: Wait- really?

Moonflower faerie: No- that's gonna haunt you for weeks to come, trust me.

White Lily cookie: oh-

Dark Cacao cookie (Dragon lord): Now, let us make haste and seal that wretched beast once and for all.

Y/N cookie: He's gonna be back in- like, Beast yeast episode 7

Burning spice + Mystic flour: What?-

Y/N cookie: Nothing- let's just go!

[sadkachow]

(cw: brief mentions of internalized arophobia)

now that i've actually realized i'm arospec, i'm starting to notice just how obvious it was. like, i've suspected it a few times in my life, but each time i was like "nooo, i can't POSSIBLY be aromantic". and, um. yeah, so that was a lie.

so, here's a:

list of things that probably should've made me realize/accept i was arospec before i actually did:

only ever had "crushes" on people that either would have made social sense for me to, i just thought were really cool and wanted to be friends with, or people who either confessed or me first or who other people assumed i had a crush on. i legit just went through a list of these with my friends, and literally everyone single one of the people on it was one or more of these three things. speaking of that is:

only ever had a "crush" on literally six people. six. this doesn't count what was assumed to be "crushes" on fictional characters, but even that i'm??? not really sure if i ever did??? plus, the first crush i can remember having wasn't until i was like 9, which would've been around the time that kids at school started getting more into having "crushes"

always got frustrated when i wasn't believed about not having a crush on someone.

that Uncomfy feeling in my tummy the few times when i actually got into a "relationship" with someone and literally anything "romantic" happened ever. seriously i would be trying to be all "romantic" and stuff, and i'd be like "huh, what is this weird all-consuming nausea i am experiencing? why do i feel absolutely awful being perceived to be in a relationship or acting romantic?? i'm sure it's nothing!!!"

my confusion at dating culture. @theeviltwinduh can attest to the rambles/rants i've been on about how weird i find dating culture, specifically the fact that people just. meet people for the sole effort of getting into relationships.

my inability to actually express what crushes felt like and my confusion about what it meant to have one. furthermore, my confusion about what actually qualified as romantic and what separated those feelings from other ones. (i still don't really get this one. i just??? what makes something romantic??? how do people Know??? why are certain behaviors perceived as only for romantic relationships and no one else??? what makes those things inherently romantic, other than just that society deems them so???)

finding characters and people attractive, but never actually really imagining myself in a relationship with them. or if i ever did, it was just kinda like a friendship.

really really liking the idea of qprs for a reason i could not explain. and also being confused about the differences between qprs and romance bc idk what romance is supposed to feel like.

liking the concept of "being in a relationship" but literally any time that concept is brought up as an actually possibility just having fight or flight instincts kicking in (mainly just flight)

when imagining my future and trying to imagine a partner, just kinda seeing some sort of formless blob. or not imagining one at all. or just imagining like a really good friend type thing.

literally ID-ing as aro at one point but being like "nooo i can't possibly be aro!!! i've "totally" had crushes on people before!!!"

that's really all i can think of right now, but i'm sure there's definitely more!

[mamamittens]

I was thinking about the Hallmark-y fic idea I had for Nikia and the boys and I'm honestly not sure how I'd condense it to a reasonable sized fic.

Not that that's really stopped me from writing lengthy fics for my ship, mind you.

Got like, two versions of that fucky abo verse end smut scene (I know what I am, shut up) and I'm still waffling on the precise details. Especially since I keep coming up with additional details for it.

But! I'm not here to talk about that!

I'm actually here to talk about one of the devil fruit ideas I had that would compete for Nikia's official... Thing.

So right now she's got the... Size changing fruit solely so I can finagle around the issue of her giant wings and do some comedy with her shrinking or abruptly turning into a massive woman. Lotta fun to be had there.

If it wasn't that though, I've always liked the Cheshire cat. It's just who I am. So that's a possibility, though I am still partial to that sheep devil fruit I made a while back and gave to a daughter of... Akoiji? The ice dude? Big fan of someone who just wants to nap.

Now there's a new devil fruit!

I wanted to play around with the idea of a not-something fruit. Like how the Gum Gum wasn't actually that, not a paramecia either, but a Zoan.

This is like that.

Not sure what it'd be called, but it's basically a reference to Hestia and the hearth. Totally embodying the hearth fire. As a fire meant to represent an idea more than actual fire, I don't think she could actually be burned like Ace was? While not an aggressive fire, she'd be capable of defense of her 'home' burning "all that don't belong in her home". And/or possibly something about burning only those guilty of something. Which means if someone doesn't have any guilt, they'd pass by harmlessly. But someone aware of their total bastardness would likely not have a good time.

Able to fit any 'hearth' space, or more literally in any fire, she'd like to take naps there. Possibly even through someone cooking breakfast. Had a very amused thought of Nikia sleeping in her fireplace and Thatch comes by (first time, totally unaware) and he starts making breakfast after failing to light the stove. Only to wake her up because he keeps tapping the frying pan on her head. Or ass. Or something. And she just waves a fiery hand out at him like

"...mmmmnm--stoooop it. 'anna 'eep. Go 'way."

Thatch screams, convinced the place is haunted but she's just more annoyed he's disturbed her perfect napping spot.

Bonding with Ace in a bonfire because they're the only ones who can understand how comfy it is, logs be damned.

Her power is stronger when she has a "home". Which includes people. And she's capable of sucking the warmth from people she doesn't like with just eye contact. Very harrowing to suddenly feel unwelcomed and unloved in the world.

Amazing fucking hugs. No one wants to let go and she goes by Disney rules (the kid/whoever lets go first is the rule for all characters, basically). Which is obviously abused a bit, but she doesn't mind. Very emotion based fruit and she enjoys the feelings of love and safety the other radiates in return. Even the most sour bastard would be hard pressed to hate it.

Downsides, she's very affected by cold water specifically. Like, she is instantly convinced she has to leave, no matter the context or where she is, it's instinct. Sets things on fire accidentally but has total control after it catches so she usually puts it out. Anything cooked over her is like, 100% better instantly. Has a real "Mom's cooking no one could ever beat" feel to it for no damn reason. Can't control her shrinking to fit the fire she's standing in, so while she can control a fire, the actual strength and size is out of her control. So no explosions for her. Actually, she tends to set a fire at her feet and then become somewhat intangible. Is brutally affected if she's inside a fire when it's put out but reluctant to leave. If it happens hard and fast enough for a small fire, she may be stuck at a certain size until she warms back up.

So not... Super effective in battle unless we're talking psychological warfare for all these father/motherless ass bitches with baggage no airline could cart around without Fuck About Money.

Great emotional support though! Even funnier if I keep her as a sniper still. For no reason I can adequately describe mind you

[cagenewman]

Given the family that his wife had grown up in, and watching some of his friends being dealt hands that he was more than sure that they didn't deserve, Cage had always been grateful to have been given the lot in life that he had, to have loving parents -- if not for a long time, than for long enough to leave a never-ending impression of what it was like to love your children, in the case of his mother -- considered it his sole purpose in life, to pass that feeling down to his own son, make him feel just as loved and safe and secure in his life. Which made him protective of his boys, his daughter, his wife, but even still, he knew that no one had meant for anyone else to get hurt, that it had never really been a goal of theirs, even if bad decisions had been made along the way. "Take your time," he said honestly. "I think it's better if you do." Clearly, there was a lot that they had left unpacked and unsaid; Cage about his reasons for divorce, Tamara coming to terms with her feelings for Theodore. He knew that if a friendship were to happen, those things had to be digested, had to be out in the open. But other things… Clearing his throat softly, he nodded, leaning back in the booth. "Thank you," he said after a moment. "It's -- I'd just rather keep it between me and Cordelia," he admitted softly, the unspoken ask of letting it be theirs alone lingering between them. Pregnancy, babies, they were terrifying thoughts for him, and ones that he had only recently been able to start to wrap his head around with the help of Archer being in his life, with the support of his family. He'd get there eventually.

Snorting softly when Tamara pointed out that Colton had gotten his height from his mother, that he wasn't that tall, he raised a brow, "he does get it from his birth mother's side, but I'm also not the shortest "cock in the flock," thank you," he replied with a bit of laugh, lifting his hands to use air quotes. He had never really been insecure about his height, but had to admit that watching his son shoot up so fast had sent him through a tail spin, just because of the constant reminder that he was getting older, that he was growing every single day. And although Cage would have loved for his son to be an exact mini-me replica, he cherished their differences all the same, be it in personality or looks or what they were in to. Colton was Colton, there was no denying that. "He's smart. He catches on to things that you wouldn't think that a kid would," but it had its pros, too; they had never had secrets, it had always strengthened their father-son relationship, through all the ups and downs. Glancing up as the waitress approached the table with refills, he smiled quickly in thanks, reaching for the glass and busying himself with taking a sip as he thought over what she was saying about his opinion, knowing that it was a slippery slope for any ex-anything to find themselves on. "No," he said after a moment, shaking his head. "I don't want to give an opinion on what my ex-wife does with her romantic life, anymore than I'm sure you don't want to give one on mine. And if you do, I don't want to hear it -- I don't mean that personally, I just mean... what would that do? Is it going to change anything for you, if I say 'oh, I love that for you' or 'hm, I have my reservations'?"

That was never a doubt in her mind. Cage was his father’s son, and the same could be said for Colton. Generation after generation, that remained constant. The amount of love that existed within the Newman family knew no bounds, and she’d cherished that for the time that she, too, held that last name. Being apart of that had helped her relationship with her own parents, and she would forever be grateful for those revelations. "Right. Sorry." Tam breathed a light bout of laughter, offering an apologetic smile in response. "Like I said then, I wanted to hate you. It would have made it a hell of a lot easier, not caring." her shoulders rolled at that, but it wasn't something she could do. "I don't think it will take too long." at least, she hoped it wouldn't, for her sake as well as his own. It wasn't too much of a surprise that they were speaking of another child. It’s what a lot of couples wanted — what she had wanted — to share dna with the person they loved. Someone who was a combination of all the best aspects of both parties. That didn’t mean it didn’t sting; of course it did. Anyone in her position would likely react the same, but she could see that it wasn't easy for him to admit. “That’s… great. Really. If that’s something you want to explore, then I’ll support you in that in any way I can.” Not that he needed it, or likely wanted it, but the sentiment was there regardless. Not that she was saying she'd be first in line to assist them medically, that wasn't her specialty, nor a particularly ideal scenario for Cage, Cordelia, or even herself. They weren't there yet, not even remotely.

"Okay." Tamara moved her head in a gentle nod. This was good, though. Despite the topic, despite the discomfort, it was good. They were both prepared to respect the others boundaries. "I thought he'd had a growth spurt since I saw him last." she mused fondly, though debatably it would have been a task to judge from where she had stood in comparison. "Something he clearly got from his birth mom, because let's face it, you're not the tallest cock in the flock." Tamara couldn't help the playful dig, bemusement making an appearance for a moment at her choice of words. "Thank you." her attitude shifted again, returning to a more sincere and genuine tone. "He's always been pretty switched on, honestly." she noted, thinking back to Colton's younger years, how observant he had always been even at four years of age. How he had welcomed her wholeheartedly into their lives after Cage had introduced her to him, having never known the presence of a mother before. "I know it's not ideal, but I can't help it. I mean, of course i'm going to do what is best for me at the end of the day, but that doesn't mean I don't care about your opinion on it." especially when you threw two particular Browning siblings into the mix.

[book-o-scams]

'Sorry Wrong Ed' Alternate Ending Storyboard Sequence

Check out Al Kang's Ed, Edd n Eddy portfolio!

Al Kang worked on the show during seasons 3-4 and had roles on the storyboard and prop teams apparently. (IMDb says he was credited as Al Choi at the time, but it also says he worked on season 1 episodes, which doesn't line up with the timeline he mentioned.. anyway.)

I discovered his portfolio a few months ago after seeing fandom discussion of the alternate 'Sorry Wrong Ed' ending. I was pleasantly surprised to find a few other treats as well! But yes, I even sorta liked what I learned about 'Sorry Wrong Ed' in the process... (I threw in a little analysis comparing the two endings at the bottom)

I noticed Al seemed to mix up the order on these, so I thought I'd try my best to figure out the right order. This was the most confusing one for me to try and figure out the order of since almost all 8 pages were out of order. I think I finally figured out what's going on in the original ending.

So this alternate ending starts at an unknown point with Eddy flat on the ground, presumably injured, picking himself back up. At this point in the final cut of the episode, Eddy has just been squashed by a tree, but this seems more like a different injury, and he's not even retaining his injuries from the truck scene... The scenes with Jonny and Plank from the final cut of the episode seem to not exist at all here, Jonny and Plank don't appear in this sequence.

Anyway, Eddy picks himself up in the middle of an on-going scene, sees Jimmy drop a coin in a jar for Ed, who has inexplicably turned the cursed phone into a scam on his own. Edd is glaring at the off-screen kids, who have somehow learned about this phone and are excited to kill Eddy with it.

Eddy: "Jimmy! No!"

Jimmy answers the phone: "Hello?"

Ed: "HA HA HA"

Edd: "You people don't seriously believe--"

Then we sync up with gags that did happen in the ending of Sorry Wrong Ed, with context that makes its tone a little more sadistic than random. Jimmy's paid phonecall drops the sandbox on Eddy.

This page has the most skeletal dialogue...

Kev: "Yes." (I think he's meant to be fist pumping because Eddy got hurt, more of a "Yes!")

Jimmy: "BAD LUCK EDDY PHONE." (this dialogue must have been a placeholder)

Edd: "HA HA" (sarcastic ha-ha or did Al mean to write "Ed" for this?)

Jimmy seems to offer the phone to Edd.

We sync up again with Edd's denial from the final cut of this episode, except now it actually makes sense that he's so one-track-minded, because there are people actively arguing with him and keeping him disengaged from the victim.

Edd: "There must be a cargo plane overfilled with playground supplies..."

Sarah interrupts him.

RING RING

Sarah: "Oh, that's for me."

Eddy at this point holds Ed responsible, as he should, and starts running to stop Ed or Sarah. Ed offers no explanation for his betrayal.

Eddy: "Ed! What are you doing!?"

Sarah: "Hello?"

Sarah's paid phonecall summons the hippos, the most random moment in the final cut of the episode. Note how both of these slapstick gags were storyboarded on the same generic background, seems like the lane or an empty lot, but clearly a different location than Eddy's front yard from the aired ending.

And that's all we have to go off of!

I'll put my updated opinions below the cut, but suffice it to say, I like the episode a little better now! Knowing what the ending was going to be and trying to figure out the choices that led to the ending we got, I feel more appreciative that it didn't end up a lost episode or something and less annoyed that it was 11 minutes of one joke.

I know I have a reputation for not finding slapstick funny and disliking this episode, but violence was never my only issue. Lots of episodes have lackluster slapstick that I just let wash over me. My point that never gets as much focus is that this episode never felt FINISHED to begin with. It's just a slapstick vacuum with no ending and no point, and it used to be frustrating to me not knowing for sure if my hunch was right or not that it felt like the episode just wasn't working and they had to cobble it together from the scenes that almost worked.

I am surprised to say I like the episode more now that I know that is pretty close to the truth. Judging from this peek into the episode's development, this episode seems to have reached Danny Antonucci's and/or Wootie's (the episode's lead board artist) limit for being mean-spirited with the characters without a reason. I'll still probably avoid rewatching it, but knowing the episode has no ending specifically because it's been trimmed to bare bones is somehow reassuring.

The most obvious flaw to this original ending is the lack of motivation for Ed's or the kids' actions. The kids presumably still weren't in the rest of the episode, so there's really no reason for them to be here other than reiterating the same idea from 'Your Ed Here' and 'The Good Ole Ed' that the neighborhood kids are always looking for a reason to gang up on Eddy, something that isn't really true of those characters in earlier seasons.

I think I can imagine how, on paper (in the writers' outline), this episode sounded funnier. Trying to imagine this ending as part of the whole episode, I think the script's idea of the final joke is that Ed is not satisfied with ending the tests at the point where they tried to return the phone to Rolf. I think Ed converts the curse-testing process to a scam at that point, building off of how Ed already wasn't processing Eddy's safety in anything so far, and is probably more focused on proving to Edd that curses are real (as Ed was previously in league with Evil Tim). The addition of Ed running his own tests and the kids arguing Eddy's point against Edd's while Eddy's busy, does sound more like a complete manic cartoon boiling point than the way the finished episode just petered out with Edd as the sole antagonist. But unfortunately, in visual execution, suddenly piling in so many aggressive characters and so much random violence at once, would only really result in it petering out at a higher volume.

Meanwhile Edd's characterization is made much more structurally sound in the original ending. He's annoyed FOR Eddy's sake, and the only reason he's not actively helping Eddy is because like 3 other characters were supposed to be arguing with him while this was happening. It seems extremely apparent to me that the cuts made to this ending were for the sake of mitigating Ed's reputation in the fandom, as well as the kids', and I think it's really unfortunate that Edd's characterization was the cost for salvaging everyone else's. I'm glad I already considered his behavior in 'Sorry Wrong Ed' non-canon, because now it feels like the reason the aired ending is so out-of-character is just because Edd is basically arguing with the ghost of the original scene. I formally forgive 'Sorry Wrong Ed'. Production turnarounds are tough and AKA did their best to not turn this into another forgotten 'Special Ed' episode that simply wasn't working.

I think ditching the original ending was ultimately the right call. It was not an exemplary episode, but I can admit it's less out of place to have a pure "vacuum of violence" story than it would've been to essentially give the kids a supernatural revenge plot like this. That would've been really weird to have to accept-- Eddy definitely wouldn't want to be friends with anyone at the end of the movie if THIS was their past. Changing it to an unaware Jonny and a questionably aware Plank being responsible, indeed, was a vibe that landed much more like standard EEnE fare. It was weird enough that the kids all saw Santa in JJJ, can you imagine if they all knew curses were real AND participated in attacking a neighbor with one??

If there was a silver lining for me the first time I saw this episode, it was that none of the kids were directly involved in Eddy's suffering. It made the questionable reality of the cursed device slightly more acceptable that only the Eds and Rolf know about the curse. If this ending had happened, I would've reacted the same, but I would've rejected its continuity even more than I do now, because it would just feel like they animated one of the DC Comics (where the kids can blow the Eds up with fireworks at the end or the Eds can randomly be crushed under an avalanche of anvils)-- the art could end up gorgeous but the characterizations don't exactly land as real human beings, the balance this show strives for typically.

And I think that's all I wanted to say! In the end, I found myself liking 'Sorry Wrong Ed' slightly more than I used to, all thanks to this glimpse into how the animation production system morphs the outcome of a cartoon. Thanks so much to Al Kang, for sharing your art and this insight into the industry! I don't know whether he did both the gesture drawings and the revised art, but judging from his other boards I think the cleaned up art is his, and I liked seeing the poses that almost were!

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at Civic Auditorium Arena in Omaha, NE, USA - September 13, 1980

(x)

(x)

Fan Stories

“I don't know if anyone has ever been able to appreciate a rock concert as much as I did when I saw Queen at age 7. I knew the order the songs were supposed to be in, the way the stage was supposed to look, and what the band was supposed to do. And everything happened perfectly. Except for that damn mustache. Late summer 1980, I was pestering my mom to take me into town to get candy. She said, "Do you really want to get candy, or would you rather get tickets to see Queen?" I stopped in my tracks and started being the nicest boy you could imagine. I thought maybe she was kidding, but knew she wouldn't kid me about something like that. I guess my dad had already OKd it too. Like Axl Rose once said about Queen: "They meant everything to me." We drove all the way to Omaha to get tickets: they were $9 in advance, or $11 the day of the show if still available (though now I'm not sure how they weren't sold out immediately). I'm still not quite sure why Queen was playing smaller arenas at that point, since I think they had already begun playing stadiums. Finally, September 13 arrived. I was in 2nd grade. Ads had been all over the radio for this concert. One of my baby-sitters and two of her friends rode up with us also, and they went off on their own when we got there. The show was one of those infamous "general admission" things, so our seats depended solely on how early we arrived. I think we got to the arena at about 9 am... almost a full 12 hours before the show actually started (much longer in 7-year-old hours). A single word, "QUEEN", was boldly displayed on the marquee above the many doors where small lines were beginning to form. Excited bands of people were running/gathering everywhere. Queen was one of the biggest five bands in the world at that time: "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" was on the charts, The Game had just been released, and "Another One Bites the Dust" was soon-to-be released as a single. We picked one of the lines and got ready for what was indeed halfway dangerous: the growing mob of people ready to run in when the doors would open. This was a big issue of the time, as it was the year before that 11 people were crushed to death at the turnstiles of a Who concert. (An episode of the TV show W.K.R.P. in Cincinnati even focused on this.) People were starting to press onto the transparent doors trying to look inside, when suddenly there was the sound of tires screeching from the street: a white limousine honked twice and sped around the corner toward the other side of the arena, and was gone within seconds. The "big kids" screamed and ran after it; I was too small to do this, but we got better places in line! When everyone came back, they said they actually saw Freddie and John get out of it and be scuffled into the building before getting attacked by the mob of people. In the meantime, others around us were starting to talk to my mom. Two of them were a man and a lady who were apparently on date, and they ended up even staying by and sitting by us through the show. Some other people also offered to kind of stay around my mom and I to make sure I'd be safe on the way in. A couple of times, a big fat drunk guy yelled out, "Who's your favorite group?" and of course everyone yelled "Queen!"

Now people were beginning to bang on the doors of the entrance. I think the doors finally opened at around 11 am. When they did, we and other people from several sides of the arena moved in, towards those coming in from other doors on opposite sides: within seconds, everyone had funneled from outside to stopping cold in the lobby, having basically run into each other. This is exactly where everyone stayed for the next two hours. A human shield of several people were intact around my mom and I preventing my being crushed... and all I could see for two hours were a bunch of butts! Once in awhile someone would try and lift me up to see all the people. From the distance, the drunk guy again repeated the "Who's your favorite band?" line a couple of times, realizing that more people could hear him now that he was indoors and echoing, and everyone gave the appropriate response. By the fifth time, only the drunk people were responding to him, and by the tenth time people were laughing and moaning. Every so often, some loud music would come out of the arena like a band was tuning-up, but it wasn't Queen music so everyone figured it was just the opening act. At 1 pm, the turnstiles were finally opened. I was kind of keeping my guard around me as everyone pressed forward, and everything was moving faster the closer we got, but by surveying the area I thought I'd be safe. I had my ticket in my hand. The guy from the couple was going to try and enter first, then me, and then my mom. When I got to the turnstiles, my mom and the guy grabbed my arms on both sides and completely hoisted me over. A surprised old man tore my ticket while I was in mid-air. Suddenly, we were standing relatively calmly inside: the difficult part was over, and we were at least safe from here on out. People were still running everywhere and screaming, but the hallways were pretty big so it wasn't too dangerous as long as we stayed toward the edge. Most people were still outside, since we were somewhat early. An older 12-year-old tore around the corner, then his '70s-style tennis shoes screeched against the floor and he fell down for a second as he decided to which way to go. We knew we were sort of on a mission to walk fast toward a balcony and just get seats instead of wandering around indecisively like others. We went straight up toward the second level balcony, as others ran the opposite way down to the main floor. My mom and I and the people we'd befriended walked right next to the wall, and I pressed against it while just a few feet away scattered groups of people would sometimes run by full-speed. I would have wanted to be on the main floor, but my mom had previously explained to me how, unless we were in the balcony, we would have to actually stand through the whole show (there weren't any chairs on the main floor) and would hardly be able to see anything. Plus, along with the horror stories of people running in at the beginning of a rock concert, I had also heard how people supposedly got crushed to death against the stage... so sitting in the balcony was just fine with me. We got two seats in the front of the second balcony, just by the railing to the balcony below. We were on the right side of the arena, about halfway back, so we couldn't complain. Now, I knew this was the beginning of the biggest wait: sitting in the same spot from 1 in the afternoon to about 9 at night.

The main parts of the stage I liked (from viewing the pictures in my Live Killers album) were intact: the steps were lined with lights under Roger's drums, and middle of the main stage had a small plank stage that stuck out for Freddie to walk on, where the crowd could touch him but not too easily. Most of the instruments, and all of Roger's drum set, were covered in giant sheets of plastic. I'd never seen such big speakers; I had a flashback when I saw the black and white photo to the right because that's what they looked like with the house lights up. Throughout the afternoon, the lights in the arena would go out, then come back on... like we were being teased. Finally when it was about time for the opening band, the lights went off longer than usual and the band took the stage. The opening band was someone we had never heard of, and my mom and I both can't even remember who it was now (two people have e-mailed me saying it was a band called "Dakota"). I don't think they had any hits, and then apparently disappeared soon after. The crowd tolerated the first two or three songs. Then, every song ended with "Just one more song!" much to the audience's vocal dismay. I went on a trip to the bathroom, and they were still playing when I came back. Then they left. Ten minutes later, they came back and said "Just one more song!" and I think they played three. People were yelling, "We want Queen!" People were getting harsh to the point it was just uncomfortable even seeing the band on the stage. Everyone cheered when they left. The lights came back on. Another two hours. Just seeing them walk across the stage would have been enough for me, so at that age I really couldn't comprehend being in their presence for a whole two-hour concert. This wait was easier though because every second we knew the show could start. Seeing Queen still seemed like it was too good to be true, like some act of God would occur just before the show to prevent it. Then, the lights went out. There's no feeling like the wait in total darkness just before a Queen concert. It was 10 minutes of black and the loudest screaming I'd ever heard. I remember it was "scary" and so I think Brian might have also been playing the weeping guitar sound like the beginning of the We Will Rock You concert video. It was a good scary feeling though, like going up the first hill of a roller coaster. After several minutes of intense darkness and the crowd screaming, when I felt like my ears didn't have room for any more sound to enter (though I loved it), the even louder sound of thunder clapped across the arena with an incredibly blinding light. I could see everyone on the main floor have to turn completely around in unison toward the back of the arena because the lights were so bright. I kept trying to glance at the stage to see what was happening, but it was too bright to see anything... plus, in between the flashes, it was too dark to see anything. It was sort of an unnerving state, being totally blinded in that big of a place with that many people, and coming to the realizaton that it would be unthinkable to actually move around and that we were basically helpless. I was holding my mom's hand. Queen had the whole crowd paralyzed in their tracks before the show even began.

I'm not sure if the lights all rose up like in the We Will Rock You video or not (since we couldn't see), or if they were already raised because of the opening band. Eventually the thunder and noise turned to music. Finally, through my wincing, Freddie Mercury was suddenly in front of my own little eyes on the front extended stage in all the smoke. I'd never even seen a celebrity in person before, much less my idol at the time. I didn't think they would open with the fast version of "We Will Rock You" for some reason, since that's at the beginning of the Live Killers album and I thought they would want to do something different, but was surprised that they opened with a non-Queen song: "Jailhouse Rock". The stage looked similar to that in the We Will Rock You concert video, with the smaller panels of lights replacing the single giant panel from previous tours; however, I'm certain there was at least another entire, higher level of moving lights (not only from seeing them at the concert, but also looking at the pictures for years afterwards). The lights in the We Will Rock You video seem extremely cut-back. Instead of one row of panels of lights across the back of the stage, the panels were all over the place and the ones above the band moved straight up and down on poles and tilted back and forth. There were also little men somehow sitting amongst the panels who manually operated at least a dozen spotlights, and more guys doing this from a small section hanging down from the ceiling at the middle of the arena. Since the spotlights were directed from the top of the arena, there wasn't a big bulky spotlight booth in the middle of the main floor taking up space, and the audio booth was placed along the right side of the arena (down not to far from us) so it wasn't in anyone's way. In the darkness between a lot of the songs, flashlights darted around the stage... we couldn't figure out if it was the band or engineers setting things up. Thankfully, no one came out on stage before the show to announce the band (I've always thought this is really cheesy). Freddie had on those red leather pants with the blue knee-pads... and, unfortunately, that ugly mustache! "What do you think about my new mustache?" Freddie asked. (Mixed applause.) "Some people don't like it, but I just say 'fu** 'em.'" (Crowd goes wild.). Freddie drank some water, then tossed the rest out onto the crowd along with his cup. He tossed his tambourine out later, and I couldn't imagine what it would actually be like to touch it. Freddie also had that long silver microphone stand that he always danced around with in the videos. He was running all over the place; one second he was on the plank at our side of the arena, the next at the other side. The three high school girls who rode up with us were excited because when he went to the end of one of the planks he ended up level and close to them in the balcony (but upset because, had one not been on crutches, they would have stayed on the main floor where Freddie tossed his tambourine!). Once or twice I remember looking into the middle of the arena and some kind of explosion occurred in mid-air (apparently launched from the lighting duct at the top of the arena). There weren't that many lighters in the audience, but instead everyone was using those green glow-sticks that come out around Halloween (I think these were new at the time). The audience kept throwing their green glow sticks up on the stage until at times it was covered, and more than once Brian kicked off some back into the audience (and I think he might have been getting upset but I'm not sure!).

There were numerous parts of the show I knew had to be there... and they all were. The first was the "scary" sound effects and section of "Get Down, Make Love", where Queen showed off their lights. (At that age, I thought the erotic sound effects were simply supposed to represent the monster breaking-in on the cover of News of the World). Smoke shrouded the band, as the panels of lights took over and moved around to the audience's ooohs and aaahs. My mom and I were trying to figure out what was on Roger's bass drum, since it didn't look like an album cover; it turned out to be the white "face" design, also in the We Will Rock You video. Back then, concerts didn't have big video screens, so we just had to use the binoculars that we'd brought. Some spotlights were gathering on Freddie and Brian as they went to sit on two stools toward the right of the stage, and my mom got excited because we knew "Love of My Life" was coming. Freddie announced, "This is our first time in Omaha... " as the song started, and got the crowd to sing along like on the Live Killers album. Meanwhile, I had become a source of info for those around who wanted to know what the songs were; every time a new song would start, people would ask me what it was! I really don't know if anyone has ever actually been able to appreciate a concert as much as I did that night: I was only 7, but had every album except the first two, and knew every song they played except maybe two or three. But what's interesting is how fans often wish they could experience how a "classic" band was 20 years prior... and this is strangely how I felt I was experiencing the show, because at my age it seemed like Queen had been around 20 years. There were parts of the show, including the stage design, that were "legendary" to me, but were only 2-3 years old in reality. Now, 20 years later, they're legendary to everyone else. Periodically, the guy next to me changed the tape in his "hidden" tape recorder. We knew the show was close to the end when "Bohemian Rhapsody" began. Everyone clapped to the pre-recorded opera section, and as the Live Killers liner notes say: "The audience and the lights take care of the rest." The crowd went nuts when Roger hit the famous gong at the end.

I think there were two or three more songs, and then everything went black for about 10 minutes. Could it be that they were actually not going to play the standard "We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions/God Save the Queen" closing? The house lights may have even come on for awhile, then went back off. A few people were starting to leave, and I kept telling my mom that they had to end the concert that way, because that's the only way a Queen concert ends... but then even I was having doubts. Finally, the yellow lights around the gong all turned on, pointing directly on Roger, who started the drums of "We Will Rock You" and everyone stomped their feet and clapped. Of course "We Are the Champions" was next, and Freddie shook some of the hands flailing in front of the stage while singing it. I remember there was one hand jumping up and down that never got shook! Freddie bent his neck way back when he sang "... of the world!" at the very end like I knew he was supposed to from videos on TV, and we hoped for another song but knew that was probably going to be it. A grand finale of Queen's famous pyrotechnics began shooting everywhere from the stage, the lights were all moving around, and everyone was jumping all over in the aisles. Soon the pre-recorded Night at the Opera version of "God Save the Queen" did begin playing...but, nobody really sang to it since this is America and no one knows the words! At this point, I tried to make sure I was truly fathoming what it was like to actually see the band members in front of me since they'd be gone soon. Freddie was still dancing around and danced out a little door behind the drums, and the rest of the band followed one-by-one, with John being last as he waved to everybody one last time. The lights flickered and moved some more to the rest of the song, slowly going dark along with the rest of the arena, with the final rise of the crowd's applause. Perfect. Except for that damn mustache. We walked down what seemed like endless spiraling stairs on the way out...extremely slowly this time. My ears had that weird "ringing" feeling like everyone said I'd have, but that I'd never experienced before. Spotlights were panning the sky outside. We said goodbye to the couple we'd been with during the show. A guy in his late 20s started talking to us on the long way out; he laughed and told me how he'd also had to argue with his mom who said Queen would never come to Omaha. My mom asked him if he thought I'd even remember the whole thing since I was so little. He looked down at me, saw my grin from ear-to-ear, and said, "He'll never forget this."” - Jim