#which I really shouldnt because I KEEP WANTING TO SOB HOLY SHIT

[dawnbirdwhistle]

Mel Medarda, the 2nd Portrait (Arcane)

I wanted to draw her again from the front, and here we are :D

I didn't want to follow my reference too much, so I chose a more dramatic lighting this time - also one I haven't tried yet, so I hope it turned out well!

All I have to say, the simping is very real 😔💛💜 (and so is the brainrot OMG- like I still just wanna keep drawing them xd when I tested out some old art supplies to see whether they work or not, I made a quick doodle of Jinx and Ekko as well ahh)

I'm super happy with her this time tbh!

Exam season is still blooming, but I am doing okayish so far, so phew! I've also been drawing anatomy practices daily into my tiny sketchbook since that is something I am lacking in for now. Hopefully not long, though :D

I wish everyone a pleasant day going forward, and I hope I fed the Mel fans well enough~ 💜

[amethystgoldenwind]

"A Theatre Kid in All His Glory" - Original Meltdown "Phase 2" Scene

This will not make sense if you have not read Pass With Flying Purple Colors (which you totally should!). It's an X-Men Rottmnt crossover where Donnie goes to Xavier's School for Gifted Mutants. More info in summary & notes.

This is the original scene I wrote for Donnie's meltdown in chapter 5. It picks up after he flees the classroom. I had to tone it down due to it being too emotionally intense for the story. I dunno why I wrote it so bad. I wanted to make it hurt, and I did that a little too well. I was tense WRITING this, which has never happened to me before (and I have written some intense stuff without batting an eye). Then the next morning I added a detail to make it WORSE. Then I looked at it afterwards and went, "Holy shit, wow. MAYBE NOT."

I had some text effects(different fonts/sizes) that I tried to translate to tumblr, but there was only so much I could do.

HEED THE WARNINGS. This scene contains: a graphic depiction of an autistic meltdown, violent self-injurious behaviour, blood from said behaviours, self-hatred, internalised ableism, self-destructive thoughts, implied autistic burnout, perceived betrayal by an adult (what else is new for Donnie), swearing, self-hatred-- did I mention that? He really hates himself.

[Donnie] flees, nearly barreling into a witness lingering in the threshold. He keeps running— he can’t believe he did that— he should’ve listened— he should have left—

He yanks open his door and slams it behind him. 

In the darkness, he shatters.

His body slips out of his control, barely keeping enough awareness to stifle any screaming. His knees slams the floor and he bites his arms and claws himself and sobs and sobs and paces and bangs his head— 

he’s so fucking stupid 

he threw a—

book

at

a

teacher

violence

hes doomed

this shouldnt have happened

he had two goals

be the top of the school the best where he can matter and

dont

be

a

burden

but he

failed

his dream is dead shot down by a gun of his own design

he smashes his head into the wall and 

sobs

sobs

sobs

bashes

claws

bites

he misses home his brothers

nothing is right anymore

he needs

normal

nothing 

is

safe

he collapses against the wall and rocks.

i want to go home! i want to go home!

he screams his lungs raw into his knees

and cries and cries

bangs his fists against his head

he cant stop he cant stop

hell stop once the world stops spinning so fast his eyes cant follow his fingers burning when he tries to slow it

please please please… 

please… 

please…

Time leaks on without him. Eventually, his mind slows enough to put the busted, sparking controller back in his hands. He’s stagnant, slumped against the wall. His head throbs from the tears still soaking into his mask and the hitting he’d done. His arms ache and sting beyond the veil of adrenaline keeping him from feeling the full onslaught.

He struggles to breathe.

His mind flashes back to the classroom—

He whines and slashes his nails over his forearm—

He startles at the surge of pain. He stares down at his arms. Maimed. Punctures and ripped lines. Bleeding. No lie could cover what he’s done. His legs aren’t spared from scratch marks. His head hurts. He feels dizzy. He’ll need pain medication (he doesn’t deserve pain medication). 

He hasn’t done so much damage since—

Ever.

The cost of leaving behind all his support that he’s too incompetent to live without.

He should’ve known that Professor Xavier wouldn’t actually want to help. He was stupid, so stupid, to think he would care enough to hear him out. The moment he starts digging his heels in, the moment he starts his tantrums, nobody wants anything to do with him (he doesn’t want anything to do with himself).

All of this over a seat that nobody truly assigned.

He’s crying again, weepy little tears that he shouldn’t be shedding but holding it back always hurts more and leads to more explosions.

he hates himself.

He caused an issue that didn’t need to be caused. All because— what, he’s a little homesick? He misses his family? Big fucking whoop because he bets every student does, and of course, he’s the only one crying about it and acting like it’s the end of the world. Dramatic. Always making his problems everyone else’s.

He hates himself.

He deserves to be expelled, and that’s what will happen to him. He attacked a teacher. He hasn’t attacked anyone in the context of a meltdown in years. He hasn’t lost so much control in so long.

He hates himself.

Over a seat. He could’ve easily sat at another chair. Professor Xavier and that kid were right— Donnie was wrong. He always does these things— blows minor shit out of proportions and screams and cries over mild inconveniences. He’s so sensitive and he wishes he fucking wasn’t. He ruins everything and makes it all worse.

He hates himself.

The whole school probably does, too, and he deserves it. He deserves whatever will come to him.

…He better start packing up. He was presented with a golden opportunity and he spat on it and buried it deep. Professor Xavier should’ve looked more into him. If he’d known about this side of Donnie, he never would’ve approached him, and it would’ve spared them all the trouble.

Donnie pulls out his bags and fights through a haze to gather his things. He has to pause to bandage his arms because he’s been staining the carpet. There’s a couple smears on the wall. He pours water on it and uses his hoodie to try and wipe it off. The wall comes clean. The carpet stains only dilute. He doesn’t let himself cry or drop to the ground for tantrum round two. He focuses on stuffing his suitcases. This is for the best. This is for the best. This is what needs to happen.

(his head is killing him and he’s teetering on crying again. he feels like he could throw up from the stress)

He catches himself standing still, staring at the wall, scratching his hands, far too many times.

He ends up collapsing in bed. He removes his tear-soaked mask and throws it to the ground. He grabs Raph’s gifted teddy and shoves his nose in it, holding onto the few remaining strands of his brother’s scent.

At least he’ll get to see them tonight. It’ll take a lot to convince them not to rain hell on the school, since they delusively believe that Donnie does no wrong. This was his fault alone. If he can’t handle the real world, it’s on him. He’s the one with the broken brain. Nobody else deserves to be punished by having to deal with him, even if it means he needs to rot away in a hole to protect the world from him.

This is what he gets.

[theveryinsignificantpotato]

Reunited

Good Omens! Crowley x reader

TW: I lil gore and I called Gabriel a Bitxh, I describe what I think falling from heaven in the GO universe would look like, so if you don’t want to read about flesh melting in Sulfur (Which boils at a temperature almost 700º above that of human skin ;) yeah, I do research and know weird things) you prolly shouldnt read for your own sake

I had wayyyy too much fun making this, I think you’ll like!

(Holy shit, this is 5 pages long in google docs 0-0)

—-

"You're done." Gabriel says, staring at me with cold eyes, he was only a few feet away, standing with his arms crossed

"I'm sorry?" I ask, looking up at him from whatever I was doing

"Head office has caught wind of your comments at the almighty, might I remind you of what happens when you ask things like that?" He says coldly 

"You're going to kick me out for one question?" I ask, my jaw dropping "Angels haven't fallen in forever, you have no idea what they will do to me! You can't do that!" I say, anger resonating through my vocal chords as I speak

"That isn't my problem. Come with me, you know what happens if you resist." He replies, turning on his heels and beginning to walk away

I sigh, tears welling in my eyes as I abandon what I was doing to follow the archangel, not wanting to invoke the wrath I would surely be met with if I didn't.

I waited until he had me at the edge, where all the others had fallen thousands upon thousands of years ago before saying anything, he was ready to send me off quietly, no ceremony or anything, just a quiet riddance of the angel hardly anyone liked - not since Raphael, anyway.

"You know, I never minded you so much, Y/n. Pity you have to go out like this." He says, looking at me with some form of pity

"You know Gabriel…" I begin sweetly, picking my head up to look at him "You're a real bitch." I finish, clenching my fist and straight up decking him as hard as I can in the nose before diving off the edge.

He screamed angrily and I looked back up at him, giving a small wave as I felt my body gain momentum.

I'm not sure I really processed my actions before going through with them, the demons weren't likely to just accept me outright, I would probably just be outcast, or killed or something. I couldn’t be sure of anything right now, not even sure if they would let me call myself a demon at all once I got to hell. All I know is that I’m falling right now, my body feels weightless and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. 

My wings unfurled as a natural response to falling only to be snapped backwards by the force of the wind, causing me to scream in pain as the bones cracked, feeling the white feathers peel from my wings. I fell for what seemed like hours, the pain in my wings continuing throughout the time, and I cried, sobs racking through my form as I left a trail of tears falling behind me. 

When I finally made it to hell my body hit what was the most painful landing imaginable, the scent of sulfur invaded my senses and I felt my angelic flesh begin to melt in the boiling liquid. It had to have been well over 800 degrees, and I was almost surprised that it didn’t just end my existence immediately upon coming into contact with my body. 

I screamed, I screamed as loud as I could before my head went under, and I felt the liquid flood my mouth and lungs, destroying my cells inside and out of my body as I thrashed around desperately. I don’t care at this point what demon hears me, all I want is for someone, anyone, to help me end this pain. 

Apparently someone did hear me because it wasn’t long before a hand grabbed my arm from under the liquid, pulling me onto the edge. I didn’t have the strength to move or even open my eyes when they finally had me out of it, my body heaved as I coughed up the liquid that had entered my lungs.

“I’m dying” I sob raspily when I finally catch my breath “He said I was being cast out, but he just wants me to die.” My body curls up on itself, pulling myself into the fetal position next to this demon.

“You aren’t dying.” He says, looking at his hand, which was badly damaged from reaching into the sulfur to pull me out “Your angelic cells are, the last of your powers are going to go into creating new cells for you- demonic ones. The worst of the process is over.” he explained

“So they’re taking everything from me…” I say dejectedly, not moving my body

He looks up slightly “Yup.” He replies, popping the ‘P’

We sit there in silence for a while, him staring out at the sulfur pool while I raspily try to catch my breath. After several moments in a painful silence I finally find the strength to sit up and open my eyes, he took my arm with his good hand to help ease me to a sitting position. The first thing I noticed about him was his hand, covered in what had to be third-degree burns almost up to his elbow. 

My angelic instincts kicked in upon seeing it, and I gently take his hand in both of my own, causing him to jump. “What are you doing?” he asks, staring at my hands

“You helped me, all I’m doing is returning the favor.” I say, directing whatever power I had left to healing his hand, and his skin quickly began to repair itself “There.” I say gently, releasing his hand from mine 

“It’s going to take you longer to heal now, you really can’t be going around doing things like that down here.” He reminds, and I can feel his gaze on me 

“I know,” I mumble, staring out at the yellow liquid that had taken away all of my angelic properties including my skin itself and sigh dejectedly “So you’re a demon, then?” I ask

“I am.”

“So what made you decide to help me? Aren’t you supposed to not care about anyone else? Chaotic Evil and all that?” I ask

He takes a moment to come up with a response “I… I don’t know. I was just sort of drawn to do it.” he finally says

I think over his response for a moment, deciding that he too felt extremely familiar, his voice above all else. It didn’t take me long after that to come to the realization that I haven’t seen this demon’s face even once in the amount of time we’ve been talking. I pivot my body so I’m facing him, and I freeze immediately when my eyes meet his face.

He stares at me in confusion, slits going down his ever-golden iris’ in a snake-like manner that was unfamiliar to me. He looked so familiar yet so not, (I suppose several thousand years will do that to someone) his red hair being the thing that was the most striking - I only ever knew one angel with that pretty Copper hair of his… “Raphael…?” I ask quietly, reaching out to his face.

He frowns “They don’t call me that anymore.”

“What do I call you, then?”

“Crowley.” He mumbles, taking a minute to look into my eyes, he seems to be trying to come up with who I am through all the third-degree burns 

“Crowley” I repeat with a smile, my first smile since falling, “Tell me you know who I am, Crowley, please.”

His eyes look over my features, taking in as much detail from my healed flesh as he could, and after a moment he seemed to remember, his jaw dropped and he leaned back slightly “y-y/n?” he asks with wide eyes

My smile grows wider and I nod happily 

A wide grin grows on his features as he continues staring at me “I never thought I’d see you again!” He cheers, leaning back towards me to wrap me in his arms happily

Thankfully, at this point most of my torso had been restored, so it didn’t hurt too badly, even when I returned it tightly, wrapping my arms around his shoulders to keep him close to me. “I didn’t think so either, but I am so glad…” I trail off, leaning back from his embrace

He releases me from his grip, giving me a small frown “But you’re fallen now, what happened?” he asks

I shrug “Gabriel said I made comments at the almighty, but all I really did was ask a question- I don’t even remember what it was.” I explain

He frowns “Damn, they haven’t dropped any of you angels down here in forever, I didn’t think they would be so tetchy.” he comments, earning a nod from me "you're the only one, right?"

I nod once more in reply "it was quiet, but I'm sure Gabriel has told everyone about it by now." I reply

He raised a brow "he's never been one to boast, don't tell me that's changed."

I shake my head "I mean that because I may or may not have called him a bitch and punched him before I fell, he'll have to explain the broken nose to his colleagues." I say, earning a loud laugh from Crowley

"You haven't really changed, have you? You've wanted to punch him since day one." He stands up and offers me a hand “I think we should get a drink.”

I take it with a smile, now the majority of my skin has returned from the neck down, with the exception of my wings, and I can do things without excruciating pain. "I believe you're right." I say with a smile, allowing him to pull me to my feet "But Raph- I mean Crowley, I've never been on Earth before, won't my lack of skin and torn up wings draw attention?" I ask worriedly

He smiles at me “Humans are almost always oblivious, don’t worry so much” He replies, snapping his fingers

A second later I find myself sitting next to him in a really nice Bentley car, Queen playing softly over the radio as he began driving. I was startled by the transition, but I quickly relaxed, “Where are we going?” I ask, frowning

“My flat, it’s safer to talk there.” He replies

“You have a flat on Earth? Does hell know about that?” I ask, and he only shrugs in response

“They don’t really care too much, most of the demons probably won’t even notice you in all honesty. If you stick with me I’ll show you how everything works, alright?” He asks

I nod “Alright. Thank you, Crowley.” 

He nods and spares me a glance “You’re skin is growing back, I can almost recognize you.” He says with a slight smile

I gently bring a hand up to my face, finding that the flesh surrounding my mouth and upper jawline had returned almost fully, and I can’t help but smile a little.

-

Crowley kept to his word, for the next few years he would teach me how to navigate hell, to keep my head low, and what demons I should avoid. He was very kind to me, and honestly even getting the chance to see him again is all I could ask for. 

I knew him long before he fell, we were best friends, practically inseparable. We crafted the stars together while talking and sharing ideas in almost all moments of the beginning, I had even began to catch feelings for him. The only reason I didn’t fall with him is because Lucifer didn’t like me all that much, so I didn’t hang out with those who became the early demons. 

-

More than six thousand years since I last saw them and I suppose I had forgotten how much I truly missed y/n, they were always bright and fun and after a few years of time with her as a demon I wouldn’t want to go back to not having her around. She has been staying with me at my flat for most of her time here, and we spend a lot of time together between dinners with Aziraphale (Whom I learned was actually one of their few friends in heaven, the greeting between the two of them was quite adorable, especially when y/n’s face lit up happily upon seeing him and she ran to give him a bear hug) and drives in the bentley. Driving with her will forever be my favorite thing, she’s gotten attached to the old CDs in the bentley (and we all know what happens to those ;)) so I’ll often find myself being suckered into going on a drive to nowhere in particular just so we will end up singing along with Freddie Mercury really loudly and horribly. It’s now my favorite thing ever. She might be my favorite thing ever.

Now Armageddon is approaching and I can't help but fear that it's going to be over for both of us. We’re doing all we can, y/n, Aziraphale, and I, but sometimes I worry that it won’t be enough. I won’t be able to be with her in hell like I do on Earth… and yes, I mean _be with her_ be with her. 

Aziraphale suggested I kiss her, or at the very least tell her - but I’m not sure…

-

We were in the flat when it finally happened, watching some movie with Crowley on the couch and I dared lay my head on his shoulder. Armeggedon was only just short of seven years away and I wanted to make sure I had the chance to get as close to Crowley as I could just in case we didn’t make it out. I couldn’t help the relieved sigh that escaped my lips when he smiled, looping his arm around me and lacing his fingers through my hair as I cuddled up closer to him.

As the movie progressed we seemed to get closer and closer, beginning with his head resting on mine, sharing a throw blanket between us, and him shifting his or my weight as an excuse to pull me nearer to him, and by the end of the movie I felt like I was practically in his lap - not that I minded it so much. 

When the credits began to roll, he snapped his fingers to turn the TV off, and I found myself not wanting to move from him, “Can we just sit here for a while?” I ask, nuzzling my face into the crook of his neck 

“I was going to ask you that.” He replies with a quiet chuckle, leaning down to rest his nose on the side of my face, giving me gentle eskimo kisses on my cheek, “Look at me, y/n.” he requests

“I can see you.” I reply with a giggle, turning my head towards his so we end up nose-to-nose, and I can feel his breath hit my skin gently. It doesn’t take long before he finally tilts his head to the side so he can catch my lips with his, and I can’t help but smile as I close my eyes and kiss kim back. Thousands of years I have wanted this, from long before he fell I have dreamed of this moment, I had thought all hope was lost when he did, and against all odds, here I am finally. I sit up in his lap to get a better angle, draping my legs gently over his and wrapping my arms around his neck. I feel his arms wrap around my waist to hold me as close as he can before pulling away to rest his forehead on mine.

“I need to tell you something.” he says in a whisper, his golden serpent eyes staring deep into my e/c ones

I return his gaze, “Tell me everything, Crow.” I say softly

“I love you, y/n. I’m not supposed to, but I really love you,” he says softly, and I can see the honest adoration in his eyes as he speaks

I smile wide “I love you too,” I say happily “Crowley I have loved you almost literally forever.” I peck his lips one more time, pulling my blanket around both of our shoulders' 

He grinned and hugged me close, feeling genuinely happy for the first time in a long while.

[swearronchanel]

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER 6.07

AHHH OMG, I was out all day & Actually MISSED the NEW episode like wtfff?!!? it was TOrture!! & I literally had to delete twitter and Tumblr off my phone because the devil himself would’ve tempted me lmfao😭 I love spoilers but not when everyone has seen the episode but me! it’s okay though I had some rum chata to distract me lol, which is just rum and horchata which is the Hispanic version of Horlicks so, At least I was in the CtM Spirit 🙃

Anyway I’m finally getting to watch it so here we go ..

shit I’m so nervous and I haven’t pressed play

why is my heart beating so fast omg

i usually skip the intro but I’m legit not ready

PHYLLIS !! 💕

damn Vanessa already hinting at what’s to come

Baby Susan so precious omg!!

No lie one of the prettiest babies I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen lots of ugly babies and lots of cute babies, I’m qualified to judge.

“Courage and resilience will matter most of all” 😭😭ahh omg

My spirit animal and campion Phyllis deserves nothing but the best I’m not ready to see her hurt

SHELAGH GETTING EXAMINED 😭😭💕💕 MY HEART IS BURSTING & her belly is so big omg!

CRYING SHE STILL CANT BELIEVE ITS HAPPENING ME EITHER BBY 😭 like holy shit I’m still not over it.

But I’m going to binge series 6 with my mother when I’m home Saturday and can’t wait for her to watch because she wanted to see shelagh have a baby & also she doesn’t know what tf has happened 😭😭😂 it’s been a crazy series! She will be s h o o k

“I know I’m just not a very relaxed sort of person” SAME but BBY RELAX 😭💕

LOL I WOULDNT HAVE READ IT EITHER

That was a cute moment with Babs and Shelagh!! But still wish it was w/ Trixie though 🙁 also it didn’t seem like a “heart to heart”? was it supposed to or was I expecting too much

Aw Rhoda 💔

what a ignorant ass teacher though, I’ll  FIGHT HER REAL QUICK

BOY OR GIRL??? I REALLY WANT TO KNOW UGH WHAT IS BABY TURNER??!

ugh Shelagh and Patrick’s faces 😫 I hope they don’t feel guilty for having a baby

But also why does shelagh have to keep wearing the same things lol, I feel cheated of all the cute maternity looks she could’ve served instead

“Having to explain” poor Mrs Antoine UGH THAT MAKES ME SO ANGRY, THERE’S NOTHING TO BE EXPLAINED   I’m mixed, Hispanic and white not black and white but still my dad is tan & we’ve been places where people have given my parents the dirtiest looks and have heard a nasty comment or two & it BOILS MY BLOOD

Omg the Antoine boys are precious

TRIXIE 😍😍 my bby looks good!

PHYLLIS IN TROUSERS HELL YES

UM VALARIE CAN U NOT BE RACIST

I swear if she says anything more I’ll lose my shit

“No one can really choose who they fall in love with” BLESS U DEELS

Bless Phyllis for making sure those cubs don’t grow up to be as ignorant as their parents

“I surmise the puller of teeth is intended to admire it” SISTER MJ IS A GEM

LOL SISTER J WANTS HIM TO COME THROUGH

SISTER WINIFRED WITH ANOTHER PRICELESS FACE IM DEAD

A bassoon? Lmaoo what the actual fuck Tim

Oh it’s for girls ofc LOL give him a girlfriend already, I’d get such a kick out of it. & Patrick could make another dad joke and say like take a lesson from me I legit beat God over a woman’s heart

The Mullucks fam 😭

Patrick with Susan omg aww

Trixie looking like a b a b e I’m dead 😍

“You’ll look like you’re trying to hard” DELIA HAHA OMG SHE GETS LIKE ONE MIN OF SCREEN TIME BUT SHE ALWAYS HAS GOOD LINES

I need Trixie’s everything, no joke. HOW

But I’m dying my hair blonder this week don’t play

Ah my bby shelagh again 😍💕

I feel so sorry for Patrick like this wasn’t your fault

LMAO SISTER WINIFRED CANT CONCENTRATE IN COMPLINE  SHE IS ANNOYINGLY PRECIOUS

She’s scared to take her driving test aw 😂😂 same like I have my permit but I’m scared to fail the actual driving test

“Oh I have a soft spot for the Antoines” PHYLLIS TIENE UN GRAN COROZON 😭

Omg Mr and Mrs Antoine are so cute too, dios te bendiga 😰

Christopher being a flake wtf no me gusta

Sister W is in on the drama like Sister B was, am I right??

LMAO HER RUN

Prosthetics are so wild, my abuelo has a prosthetic leg and I was so interested when he first got it. But also I’m going to hell for being evil because I joke around way too much when he’s extra senile

“People call my kids hair frizzy, but I think it’s beautiful” MY HEART😭💔 literally my mom was the same with me. Defensive over my curls - even tho my hair is frizzy sometimes😭

The song though, took me a second to process but that’s my bby shelagh’s song ?? Ummm wut

lol sister Winifred hella late, let me guess this will make her want to drive?

this prosthetic place is so great wow omg

damn it Bernie

PHYLLIS LOVES THIS FAMILY AND I LOVE THEM ALL OMG 😭😭

GET THE RUM ! or I will lol

ah never mind

LOL SISTER W AGAIN & PHYLLIS SHAKING HER HEAD

the question is, does/has sister Winifred drink/drank ? she seems like a light weight

fuck is this when it’s gonna happen

I’M NOT READY DAMN IT

damn Bernie..

UGH MY HEART IS RACING IM SO ANXIOUS AND SCARED AHJXKWLXM

HOLY SHIT OMGGGG

THAT WAS SO HARD AHH OMGG

IM FUCKING SCREAMING

Phyllis is in shock o h m y g o d

I can’t process this either

OMG I CANT DEAL

PHYLLIS IS SOBBING, IM SOBBING WTFFFF OMGG 😭😰😰😰💔💔💔

MY FUCKING HEART

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO OMG

AW SISTER W ASWELL UGH WTF I SHOULDNT FEEL SO MUCH

LMAO OMG THANK U FOR COMIC RELIF

TIM SUCKS LMAO stick to the damn piano boy

PATRICK AND SHELAGH GIGGLING OMG MY HEART IS OKAY NOW 😭😭💕💕

SHELAGH AND PATRICK BEING SO CUTE IM CRYING

DAMN THALIDOMIDE

DAMN THAT CAR UGH  

DAMN IT ALL

LOW FUCKING BLOW BERNIE THAT WAS NOT HER FAULT

BABS TRYING TO COMFORT PHYLLIS  IM CRYING AGAIN

SHE IS SO HURT, I AM SO HURT, IM A BLOODY MESS OF TEARS. IM SOBER AND SAD NOW & THERE’S MASCARA In MY CONTACT LENS & MY 3yr OLD GREMLIN LITTLE COUSIN IS KICKING ME (lol he’s laying next to me)

AND CARRIE CRYING NOW OMGGG NO LENNY WONT DIE STOP

“That lovely gp of yours” lol does everyone have a crush on Dr Turner but me? Lol don’t come @ me pls I’m sorry I know people love him 😭😭 Im here for Christopher and Tom But He is handsome, just in an older man way Lmaoo guess it’s cause he could be my dad 😂 lol he’s older than my dad

I’d take him as a sugar daddy real quick though. I need my tuition paid and he is so sweet😏 😭😂

So it was a scarf, hmm I thought trixie was gonna find like stockings or something

“Not Hermès but something very like it” lol how does Trixie know what Hermès feels like on a nurses salary?

Valarie is on my nerves & she’s had like 2 mins of screen time Lmaoo I’ve liked her until this episode. I hope they don’t ruin her for me

“But I’m a member of the institute of advanced motorists”  UGH PHYLLIS IS A GEM WHO DOES NOT DESERVE THIS !! SHE IS THERE FOR EVERYONE ALWAYS, SHE ALWAYS DOES GOOD WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN TO HER?

Aw Sister Winifred

Oh Rhoda 💔💔she’s such a great mother

MY HEART, THEY WERE WALKING AWAY FROM BEING TEASED

BLAME THE RACISTS, IT IS ALWAYS A VALID BLAME

YES PHYLLIS IS A GOOD WOMAN! 😭😭

Tom trying to comfort Phyllis😭😭

“You’re fond of your meat, and our views on God and His existence are divergent to say the least, but we both follow vocations…. so if you caused harm to someone else, even inadvertently would it not make you question what everything in your life has come to stand for?” I’m c r y i n g

“I, a rational woman, have no one to question but myself” 😭💔

IM REALLY HURT

“Sometimes cheering people on the sidelines doesn’t help”

my bby killing it 😍

Why you being a flake Christopher? go ahead man tell her about your kid

BRUH YOU DONT TELL HER LIKE THAT LMAO

he’s divorced ah, thought it was out of wedlock. I don’t care though haha

NO DRINKS FOR TRIXIE, TELL HIM BBY.. in your own time of course 💕

BABY SUSAN SO PRECIOUS

Fred brought her car ugh And Phyllis is still so hurt as am I 💔

This lady is so sweet! I hope she and Rhoda become friends right now

DID SHE TAKE DISTIVAL TOO?

lol wait where are the Turners I miss them??

“.. and the words ‘Nonnatus house this is not a midwife speaking’ are most unlikely to reassure the caller” SISTER MJ!

YES SHE DID OMG. I need them to be best friends omg 💔😭

“Nothing was said, nothing was done” 💔💔

PHYLLIS LOOKING AT THE CAR

SISTER MJ IS GOING WITH HER MY HEART OMG

my heart my heart

aw the mullucks'😭 ofc IT WASNT YOUR FAULT!

SISTER MJ IS A GEM 💕😭 & PHYLLIS IS JUMPING BACK IN

TWO GEMS 😭💕 but also if this was the birth they meant that sister MJ was involved in ill be lowkey sad, but we shall see next week if she’s randomly with Shelagh when she delivers

Trixie serving more looks 😍

Aw my bby 💔does she tell him about her alcoholism at the end of this ?

Also what are we guessing about Valarie rn?? she has a secret? tragic backstory to be unlocked? what ? She gay?

Aw the mulluks’s again! All so sweet💕 & YES LYDIA BE FRIENDS

ugh Christopher looks good af😍 and that car yes

YES TRIXIE 😍 my girl looking good as well

SHE TOLD HIM 😭 IM CRYING IM SO PROUD 😭😭💕💕WHY DO I FEEL SO PROUD FOR A FICTIONAL CHARACTER??! I love her

Oh shit Patsy’s dad is dead. I assumed that was coming

Phyllis reassuring Delia awww

PHYLLIS BACK AT THE CUBS 😭 MY CHAMPION AND SPIRIT ANIMAL BOUNCING BACK

Lenny’s speech omg brb crying

The support group for thalidomide victims omg my heart

I was cryin before and now I’m crying more for this Irish lady

Omg side side side note there was this cute old interracial couple that seem like my parents in 20yrs in JFK yesterday that were so precious and sweet and we’re talking to me the whole time waiting at the gate & then there was this sweet Irish couple who were confused about the time difference and I helped them out and then when we landed they helped me out looking for my bag so now I have much more faith in humanity because usually the people in NYC airports are angry new yorkers who don’t care lol like me (jk)

“There’s no rule of life so simple or so true ..” 😭😢💔💖

Thank u Vanessa I’m so emotional, show me next week 

Bonus: next week

OMG PHYLLIS HUGGING SHELAGH OMGGG. I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED TO SEE THIS

PHYLLIS BETTER DELIVER THE BABY I KNOW I WANTED TRIXIE BUT IT DOESNT SEEN LIKELY AND SO INEED PHYLLIS (sister J too ofc?! She was barely in this past episode)

MY BBY SHELAGH’S TUMMY IS SO BIG IN HER UNIFORM OMG SHE’S SO PRECIOUS I LOVE HER I MISSED HER THIS PAST EPISODE

BUT OH MY GOD BABY TURNER IS COMING HOLY SHIT THIS IS HAPPENING THIS IS NOT A DRILL

HERE COMES THE PILL READY OR NOT #LETSGETIT1962

Lol oh shoot I didn’t take mine yesterday or today brb

AW DELIA

WHAT IS SIGNIFICANT ABOUT BABS SLEEPING I NEED TO KNOW

Lol idk why but even though I like Tom and Babs their relationship just doesn’t do anything for me😂😂 like I don’t give a shit? They’re cute but idk it doesn’t cut it. Like they’re just there and I’m like “aw ok”

OMG I CANT WAIT WHAT WILL HAPPEN ?! I NEED ANSWERS

I will die next week. For real.