#which I literally always am w this topic anyways. nothing but screaming into a vast empty void that’s supposed to be my big special family | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

soullessjack · 1 year ago

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every day I remember that this fandom simply does not care about autistic people and, much like every other fucking thing I experience as an autistic person, the concept of it being a collective found family becomes increasingly alien to me. love this place.

#we really just can’t win I fucking hate it here #like this is my special interest. this is my community. I’ve met so many people through it that ended up becoming lifelong friends #I’ve been here for almost ten years and it’s meant everything to me for ten years. it’s kept me going through so much shit.#it’s more than just a show and more than just a fandom and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever been apart of #and like I didn’t realize I was autistic until like late 2021. I didn’t even realize SPN was my special interest until then either #I didn’t realize JACK was my special interest. but knowing that he is autistic means so much to me #and its meant so much to other autistic ppl in the fandom. somebody at MomentoCon even mentioned it to Alex last weekend for fucks sake .#it’s real and it’s special and it’s important to us but #but no we can’t have that. make him a fucking baby. toss every interesting thing about his character into a fucking volcano #and relegate him to being a fucking prop for everybody else.#I don’t know how else to tell you this but you are literally infantilizing an autistic person. you are being ableist. intentionally or not.#and the way you all seem to just. idk. double down on your own ableism? or excuse it?#or literally ignore autistic ppl who try to point out how ableist and weird your behavior towards an autistic character is?#it’s a lot of things. it’s so many terrible things and terrible feelings. but above all it’s disheartening.#it hurts to know that even in this space where everyone is family and everyone belongs. I’m still on the outside looking in.#I’m still not /really/ a part of everything else. it’s a horrible feeling and I don’t wish anyone to ever go through with it #but maybe you fucking should. maybe then you’d realize what you’re doing. or maybe you won’t. maybe I’m screaming into the void again.#which I literally always am w this topic anyways. nothing but screaming into a vast empty void that’s supposed to be my big special family #but whatever I guess.#spn #supernatural #spn fandom #spn family #spn famdom #jack kline #autistic jack kline #tfw2.0 #destiel #sam and dean #castiel

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