#which I am hype about cause usually it's difficult for me to keep track of the months if the weather is off

[wren-kitchens]

dude crochet is truly a craft that gives you so much hubris. like i was fully fully convinced I could crochet an entire hat (without a pattern btw. I just thought 'hey this looks like it might work' and decided to give it a go) within less than an hour. it's now 2am and needless to say I have not fully completed the hat i’m making up on the spot

[evolutionsvoid]

When one ventures away from civilization and into the wilderness, there is a ton of important things you must bring with you. I know many immediately think about what equipment you take and what tools you have at your disposal, but there are important things that you cannot stuff into a backpack. Yes, a sturdy hatchet or a trusty blade can do wonders, but they will be useless if you do not know when to draw them. For me, knowledge is one of the best tools to have at your side, especially when it comes to the lands you walk through and the flora and fauna you deal with. This is the kind of stuff that helps you find edible plants or figure out what beast has patrolled this area. It also is crucial for understanding your surroundings, and spotting the signs of a trap before you blunder straight into it. There are many ambush predators out there, and each have their own way of hiding and attacking. If you don't know what hunters dwell in the territories you are exploring, then you will be blind to their machinations until it is too late. Even then, it is not just the predators you must be wary of! Creatures of any diet can be territorial, the only difference between the meat eaters and plant munchers is what they do with your corpse afterwards. Being able to identify markings and tracks will help you avoid these conflicts, as the best battle is the one that never happens. I say this because I am thinking of the serene ponds and tempting water holes within the tropics. Peaceful looking places where travelers and explorers often choose to rest. Do not fall for these looks! Know what creatures call these waters home, and be sure to check for their presence before you go for a dip! I have heard quite a few tales about those who decided to rest in these cool waters, only to be later found floating dead within them. The Berberoka may not have the fearsome teeth and claws of crocodilians or basilisks, but they can be just as deadly to those who incite their wrath. The Berberoka are amphibious fish that are found in the freshwater pools and ponds of the tropics. Though they can dwell in any water source, they prefer to make their homes in places where it is still and has some depth. Swamps and bogs are acceptable, but nothing beats a nice weedy pond! They like a good amount of vegetation both in and out of the water, as those are the perfect places to hide or rest. Amphibious in nature, they spend most of their time in the water, but will venture onto dry land for certain things. Their myriad of fins are great for swimming, though they rarely need to move fast. They prefer a slow and steady drift through the water, propelled by the movements of their smaller fins. This lets them drift along while the rest of their body stays perfectly still, turning them into a floating piece of vegetation. Outside of the water, they use their serpentine tail to slither along, which is helped with their arms and lower fins. Able to breathe both air and water, they can hide in the shallows or within the tangles of weeds that line the shores. This makes it difficult to locate a Berberoka, as they could be in or out of the water, and there is no telling where they are lurking. Though I may have hyped them up as dangerous creatures, they are not vicious carnivores. Berberoka are omnivores that feed on algae and tiny critters that dwell in the water. Their long thin mouth is good for sucking up water, and internal structures sieve out any food pieces that are pulled in. This tiny orifice makes it difficult to eat anything bigger than a grape, but they do not let such limitations rob them of a meal. Sharp protrusions around their mouth can cut and slice, and they use them to core out plugs of fruit or flesh. However, these food stuffs must be soft for this to work, as they don't have the sharpest "teeth" nor a biting mouth. To help soften up their food, they will often drag it into the water and store it in one of their hiding holes. Every Berberoka has small food caches under the water, usually sticking them in flooded burrows or hiding them under rocks and logs. Letting their meal soak in the water will allow it to break down and soften, just enough that they can carve out squishy chunks or suck up the remaining slurry. This method goes for both plants and meat, which is why finding a corpse floating in their pond is no rare occurrence. Despite the appearance, they do not really hunt for food. A lot of carcasses they obtain either came from an inhabitant of the pond that died for other reasons, or from outsiders who walk straight into their territory. While they are not active predators, Berberoka are quite aggressive and territorial. They are quite protective of their ponds or water bodies, and will lash out at those they perceive as a threat. They seem to target larger creatures, those that may rob them of their food or may try to claim their territory for themselves. It doesn't matter if this is the intruder's intention or not, as the Berberoka tend to interpret anything as a challenge to their claim. Approach their waters? Then you must be after their food caches! Drop your pack by a tree? Clearly marking the territory as theirs! Falling asleep in the shade? They are already building a nest! The gall! With this short fuse, Berberoka attacks are quite common, especially in wild territories where no one has placed warning signs. Sources of water are crucial for any beast or explorer, so many tend to head straight for one once it is sighted. If you are not observant, you may walk right into a Berberoka nest and incite an attack. Though they possess a few pointy bits, that is not the weapons they use to defend their homes. 

When aggravated, a Berberoka will slink into the shallows. They will quietly hide themselves in the reeds and algae, watching the offender with a constant glare. They will carefully watch their movements, keeping track of their infractions and assessing if they are a threat. Unless the victim is aware that this pond belongs to a Berberoka and undertakes the proper precautions, they will most likely be seen as a threat. When they deem the intruder guilty, they will start to fill their body with water. With powerful muscles and flexible sacs, the Berberoka can swallow an insane amount of water in no time! Their bodies will be filled to bursting with fluid in seconds, and all that water will be unleashed upon the invader. When their target has come to rest or is near the water, the Berberoka will launch out of its hiding place and blast them with a torrent. Their thin mouths make for a tight beam of water, creating a powerful force that can bruise and even cut through exposed flesh! It doesn't help that this spray is aimed towards the face, where it can damage your eyes and blind you! These blasts of water quickly disorient the victim, causing them to stumble and fall. Even if the intruder is trying to escape, they will not let up on their assault. They will keep spraying their target until they scamper off into the wilderness or fall into the water. Those that wind up in the pond will be grabbed by the Berberoka and pulled under. Using their arms and tail, they will bind their victim and seek to drown them. Those that have enough strength to keep their heads up will have their faces blasted with more water until they succumb. Even those pinned on dry land are not safe, as they will continue to hose you down until your lungs are filled. In Berberoka territory, a drowned man on dry land is not an impossibility. After they successfully take down their intruder, they shall store their body in the water so it may get soggy enough for them to eat. No point letting food go to waste! These attacks make the Berberoka seem extremely violent and angry, but that is not always the case. We have this image because that is what the creature is doing when we are around. When left alone, the Berberoka seem much more serene and calm. They lazily drift through the water, and actually take pride in maintaining their pond! If one is stealthy and silent enough, you may be able to witness a Berberoka tend to their territory. They will fuss with the weeds and shoreline plants, often bending and wrapping them to create tangles and makeshift shelter. Rocks along the shore may be moved about and organized, though we don't know what their system is. Sunken stumps and branches will be put in different spots, like someone rearranging furniture. Some suggest that they do this to attract potential mates, or perhaps these actions help their ponds flourish. Since they mainly eat algae and tiny bits in the water, the Berberoka may shape their pond to better suit these food sources. I can believe this, as Berberoka territory is so rich with algae and the such that they tend to attract Lily Dryads! When I first heard this, I feared the worst! Those poor little things hardly think about danger and tend to be oblivious to their surroundings. Surely one of them slithering into Berberoka territory is doomed! Well, it turns out that the Berberoka don't mind Lily Dryads. For whatever reason, they are perfectly fine with a swarm of them hanging out in their ponds. They hardly even seem to notice them, to be honest! During my observations of one pond, I found that the resident Berberoka treated them like every other piece of vegetation, even when they moved or started talking! No one is really sure why the Lilies are spared of such extreme aggression, but some theories have popped up. One idea is that the Lily Dryads are small enough that the Berberoka doesn't see them as a threat. They tolerate smaller creatures, so perhaps a Lily Dryad fits the bill. Another theory is that the anatomy of a Lily Dryad has enough similarities to the Berberoka that it has some familiarity to them and thinks they are one of its own. The problem with that one is the fact that these creatures hardly interact with the Lilies, so I can't imagine that it thinks they are its young. Whatever the reason, Lily Dryads are allowed into their ponds and they find quite the haven there! Anything that would dare try to harm the Lilies would have to get through the angry home owner first! Speaking of the Lily Dryad mystery, I know some folk are wondering the obvious thing. "If you want to know why the Berberoka tolerates them, why don't you just ask them?" These are the questions of people who have never had to talk to a Lily Dryad before. Due to their laid back nature, they really don't pay attention to things and they aren't exactly the sharpest thorn on the branch. Conversations with them is like trying to have a scholarly debate with a sapling or child. They don't follow what you are saying and they would rather talk about whatever comes to their mind at that moment. I foolishly tried this questioning once, and the results were useless despite the aggravating amount of time it took to get them. I was able to convince a few Lilies to leave the pond and meet me a safe distance away from the territorial Berberoka. I asked them what they knew about the creature and they said "they seem nice!" I asked what else they knew, and it was "they are pretty nice!" I pointed out the fact that their "kind" neighbor was responsible for drowning at least four people in the past few months, which garnered a "they're quite nice once you get to know them!" To save my readers the misery and repetition, I will just say things didn't get much deeper than that. Due to their aggression and violent attacks, Berberoka are feared and reviled. Any person that lives within their range has heard the cautionary tales a hundred times. Those who disappear in the swamps are often believed to have been killed by one of these beasts, and many local children are wary of these still waters. Warning signs are quite common around these water bodies, especially those close to town. If a Berberoka gets too close to a local water source, the townsfolk will be forced to slay it. Using spears and shields decorated to look like large faces, a group will surround the pond and slowly approach. Eventually the Berberoka will come out spitting, and everyone will hide behind their shields. Seeing the false faces, it will direct its stream towards these instead of the actual warriors. While it is focused on one target, the others will slowly creep closer. It change its attack to those who are closest, but eventually someone will get into range and stab it. They aim for the inflated water sacs, looking to rupture them and take out the watery cannon. Once this happens, the rest can charge in and finish it off. While there are some sad instances where slaying a Berberoka is necessary, a lot of suffering can be avoided if people know how to identify Berberoka territory. One should pause and take a minute to study a water body before rushing in, checking to see if it is inhabited. One sign can be found in the reeds. The Berberoka wrap them together and shape them into a swirled den. Look for unnatural piles of rocks, which these creatures may build while they are tending to their pond. If you see a bunch of lily pads, they may actually be Lily Dryads. If you have the patience, you may be able to get their attention and ask them if one of these creatures is around. Just don't call it a "Berberoka" when you ask, as they have no clue what that is. If you find any muddy patches away from the shores, look to see the trail of a serpentine tail and the furrows of their lower fins. If you see a bunch of these signs, don't approach. Find somewhere else to rest or refresh. If you desperately need water, then try to find an access point that is protected. Trees, rocks, anything that can stop a beam of water long enough for you to grab what you need and run. Cover your face and wear as much protection as you can. If you approach, do so with a hunched posture and keep yourself low to the ground. A submissive stance can buy you some time, but don't stick around for too long! Another trick you can use to locate a Berberoka was one I learned from the locals. They make these wadded up balls of dried mud and crushed up crab shells. When they want to check if a pond is safe, they will chuck one of these things in and wait. The water melts away the dried dirt and releases these powdered crab bits. Apparently the Berberoka absolutely hates this and is whipped into an agitated state when it catches the scent. They thrash and splash in the water, churning up the area where the ball was thrown. In a few moments, it will settle down and return to its stealthy state, but this outburst is enough for locals to spot them and head the other way. Looking into it, I found that the scent of certain freshwater crustaceans agitate the Berberoka, as these species are known to feed on their eggs. Lobbing in this scent bomb sets them off and they immediately look to eliminate this fake threat. It is a fascinating solution and one that I have used a couple of times during my expeditions there. However, do be sure to keep these crab balls in a sealed container when you are at camp. While the Berberoka hates the smell of these critters, other beasts are quite fond of it and you may wake up to find a hungry customer in your tent!     Chlora Myron Dryad Natural Historian ------------------------------------------------------------ I don't recall how I came to learn of this mythical creature, but I liked the concept once I did! These guys weren't intended for Mermay, but I found they fit the theme, so here they are!

[pikachu78109]

After Thoughts on Pokémon SwSh ((SPOILER HEAVY! TREAD CAREFULLY))

Okay, wow. So, I played and finished the main story in two days (I had so much free time after college classes) and I managed to power through the game in no time at all. Right now, I am doing post game, but I’ll save that for another time. For now, I want to address my overall thoughts on the main story and some of the pros and cons that this Gen has brought. Spoiler heavy content incoming!

Pros

1) The region is f*cking gorgeous!

When the Pokémon team really puts their mind to it, they create Galar to look really beautiful. From past generations, most of the town weren’t really towns, they looked like villages. And though the cities looked big like in Gen 5, 6, and 7, Gen 8 really pushed itself with its graphics and made the design of the towns and cities looks massive and eye catching. The colors pop and the things that stand out really stood out, such as MotoStoke, Wyndon, Hulbury, and Hammerlocke. These games are just so gorgeous to look at!

2) The Wild Area

Grinding as never been as fun when you’re in the Wild Area. Not only can you Dynamax your Pokémon when approaching as Power Spot, you can encounter rare Pokémon and Camp and do some serious training before the next Gym Match. I used this area a lot when playing through this game, and I have collected so many Berries and items and even battled some Pokémon to level up my team. This area has a functional use and something worth mentioning because I found this area to be extremely helpful whenever I need a bit of grinding. There are a few Trainers, heck there’s even a nursery if you want to drop off a couple of your Pokémon there, and they do sometimes give you items in exchange for Watt power. It depends on how much though, but you could get some rare items from them, if possible. Overall, a really great addition!

3) A Good Cast of Characters

Galar has so many characters and the majority of them are pretty good! While there are a few that I felt could’ve been stronger or competent even, most of the characters have different personalities and each one displays vast characteristics that make them stand out. Marnie, Bede, and Hop were great rivals and each one had a personal goal and under went character growth (Bede especially) as the story continued. Other characters like Sonia were present in the story and offered more to the plot, like telling about the legends in Galar or assisting you on your way. Leon was a character who was present most of the time and was a great Champion. Most of the Gym Leaders were unique in their own way (some more than others) and gave Gym Missions that could either frustrate you or not. It’s definitely not like Gen 7 where the cast gets involved one way or another, but in Gen 8, the cast never felt forgettable and had something to offer.

4) The Soundtrack Is Good

If I can pull a Trugreen 7 here, the music in this generation was pretty good. It brought a lot of life to the region and gave it atmospheric energy. My favorites include the Slumbering Weald, the Gym Leader theme, Chairman Rose’s theme, and Hop’s Battle theme to name a few. The Wild Area gets hit with a blast of bagpipes, giving it a distinct identity apart from the routes, cities, and towns. When the OST for this game comes out on iTunes, I’m definitely going to download some of these tracks!

5) Very Immersive

The attention to detail on the games bring out the immersion was pretty good. There’s definitely some humanity to the main character and there are a few things that accompany that. The Pokémon Camp mechanic was a great way to play with your Pokémon, make curry, and even invite other players to join your Camp. Not only that, but you could visit any nearby Pokémon Camps and interact with the Trainer’s Pokémon if you so wished. There’s a lot of upgrades to the character customization where you have a lot of options to choose from, from clothes to hair, so you could give your player character some identity that’s unique to you or look like you. The Power Up Spots found in the Wild Area invites players to join in a battle against a Dynamaxed Pokémon, so the use of teamwork and connecting with other players helps bring out more usage to the Dynamax mechanic. The region can get pretty easy to get sucked into and it shows.

Cons

So, now that I covered some of my personal favorite pros, I will now discuss some my personal cons that I have with this game. Keep in mind that these cons are of my personal opinion and maybe you might disagree, which is perfectly fine! Anyway, here they are!

1) The Story was Lackluster

As a new game on the Switch, the build to the story was something that I was looking forward to. I mean, there have been leaks about the story that were more like rumors, but they sounded really interesting and it got me hyped for the games. After playing through the story, it wasn’t much. The story, for the most part, was hardly a story. You’re just going around Galar, competing in the Gym Challenge and stopping whatever obstacles that come your way, such as Team Yell. Plot wise, there’s nothing. And when I mean ‘nothing’, I mean that the plot didn’t attribute to anything spectacular. The ending to the story felt very anti-climatic with the whole Eternatus situation and could’ve been handled better with the proper timing or with a better build up. Eternatus does not get mention much throughout the entire story and we are led to assume that Eternatus is the cause of The Darkest Day. That detail felt super unclear to me and I couldn’t tell what the f*ck was going on until the very last half of the game. I will get into more of that later, but for now all I can say is that I liked the leaked rumors more than the actual story we were given.

2) Chairman Rose Is A Weak Antagonist

Why? WHY?! As much as I like his battle theme, Chairman Rose is such a dumb antagonist! Listen, I know that villains in Pokémon can either be weak or great, but it all boils down to their motivation. Their motivations have to at least make some sort of sense, even if it is mediocre or half assed. Chairman Rose’s motive is all based around semi good intentions that can be similar to Lusamine’s from USUM. However, Chairman Rose doesn’t seem entirely aware of what he is doing and jumps into whatever scheme that he thinks might work and help all of Galar. Instead, his plans come off as lazy and last minute. We don’t get any occurrences to his antagonistic intentions because we are devoted to our Gym Challenge while Rose hides behind the shadows. To his credit, he would have to be the most sane antagonist in all of Pokémon and does turn himself in afterwards, so clearly he knew that he f-ed up. That being said, he would have to be the weakest Pokémon villain in my book and I would’ve preferred his secretary Oleana to be the villain instead.

2) Oleana Should Have Been the Main Antagonist

Like I said, Oleana should have been the main antagonist in these games. From the get go, she gave off so many red flags for being a character with less than good intentions but was actually a supposed Admin instead. I mean, she gives off so many bad vibes that I almost believed that she was the antagonist, not Rose. This was just a missed opportunity to me, because in the final stretch of the games, you get a bunch of Macro Officers who supposedly started a fan club surrounding Oleana. Like, wtf?! If you’re lackeys are going to making a fan club dedicated to you, then that has to say something. Oleana has always been a character that just had a cold expression on her face, but she’s left in a position that should’ve been rectified. Once again, this was a missed opportunity.

3) The Champion Battle Could’ve Been Better

As much as I adore Leon, the Champion battle against him didn’t feel as challenging as I hoped it would be. Instead, it almost felt like Gen 6 all over again with me almost knocking out his team completely with little to no effort involved. And he’s supposed to be the ‘undefeated’ Champ in Galar! Shouldn’t he be challenging? Shouldn’t he give me a hard time by providing moves that could put my team in a bind? There’s not much I can say about this other than the fact that this battle could’ve been better. I don’t know about other players, but from this experience, the Champion battle didn’t feel, well, Champion enough.

Final Thoughts

Okay, final thoughts. Obviously, I do have a lot more to say about Pokémon SWSH, but I didn’t want this post to become a lengthy essay. There were definitely some step ups and it’s clear to see where the steps were made to creating this game. Despite the controversy surrounding this Gen, I hope that this generation gets recognized beyond that. There are good things about this game that I pointed out, but there were also some things that felt rushed or didn’t make much sense.

I can’t say that I regret buying these games, because I am glad that I went to Galar and experienced many things from that region. Still, the things that stood out poorly really did show, which is a bummer because these were missed opportunities that could’ve made the games a lot stronger. I don’t think that Gen 8 is a bad game (heck I place that title onto USUM) but it’s definitely in a mixed bag with me.

If I were to rate this game on a scale of 1-10, I would give a 6/10, mainly because of weak story but accompanied with beautiful visuals and a decent cast of characters. The game does have some replay value but I believe that I might restart my game and play through everything all over again. That’s how I usually roll.

Recommending this game to other players would be difficult given the reputation this game has, but as a Switch game, it does an okay job. I just hope that the next games will have more effort and something to look forward to without any unnecessary drama to blacklist it. I can only dream.

[amoderngorgon]

RP Habits

Name: Lena Characters: Celia Gorgon, Jasmine Al-Saleh, Ashley Armbruster, Vincenzo “Vinny” Santorini, Llewellyn “Louie” Mallard, Arthur Pendragon Triggers: outer space/gore. also fat shaming I think. Or just weight things. Idk I think that’s a thing now but i’m not sure how to define. Fave Disney Movie(s): Hercules, The Incredibles, The Lion King, The Little Mermaid, Moana Fave Movie(s): The Winter Soldier, The Return of the King, Les Miserables, Titanic, Dirty Dancing, Gone with the Wind, John Mulaney’s comedy things lol Favourite Book(s): The Outsiders, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Eragon books, Harry Potter, Sarah Dessen books,  Favourite TV shows (s): The Flash, Jessica Jones, The Dragon Prince, Avatar the Last Airbender, She-Ra, SNL?, Kim Possible,  Fave Video Games: Kingdom Hearts, The Sims,  Favourite Bands/Artists: Bastille, The Civil Wars, Sleeping at Last, The Beatles, Britney Spears, QUEEN, ABBA, Sia

Best way to communicate with me: discord 100 percent. I just, i keep tabs for all the muses open at various times but I just don’t check for those messages on the blogs usually. Discord just works better for me as I have the app too and I can keep track that way.

When you approach me to plot, please… come at me with some idea of which characters you want to bring together. Maybe a little bit of a plot idea. It doesn’t have to be much! I love the collaborating part. I just don’t want to be the only one trying to work something out you know? Also appreciate that I might have a difficult time saying no.

For me, I always have that instinct to want to just be nice and agree to most things and all because that’s just...polite or whatever. And I also want you guys to be aware that like...if you’re all jazzed up I’m not always very good at going !!! or being all hyped all the time. Sometimes I just need a bit more of a mellow vibe. It does not mean I’m not interested in the plot or anything. I’m just pretty introverted and sometimes the intense OMG LENA SOGJSGS just makes me want to retreat a little. Not all the time, and if you’re not sure just ask me. it’s okay. you can be like “hey Lena, high energy cool today or nah?” idk. that might be nice. 

When I approach you to plot, please… tell me if you don’t like what I’m throwing at you. Or if you don’t feel you have time for it now. The most frustrating feeling is pitching something and it seems like it’s good but then we never end up threading the thing or it just gets pushed to the back burner. Or it’s just uninteresting to you. Idk maybe it is. Just...be honest with me?

My RP Pet Peeves: 

Being inflexible about plots or changes. I think sometimes there are changes or things you don’t anticipate when you first plot something out. So being patient with me and willing to work things out if something might not click the way it could have before.

Shipping for shipping’s sake. Everyone knows by now probably that I do love me some romance. I appreciate ships. I think shipping is great. But I also don’t like shoving two characters together just cause. For me it always needs to have a story, and I always need to see if the two actually get along. Chemistry and all that yeah? Not sure if this is a pet peeve or a general thing but I thought it could go here.

I feel like I have other things but my brain isn’t thinking of them now so maybe I’ll add later.

One thing you should know about me before we RP is: I did indie rping for quite a while, and it kind of ingrained this idea in my head that I should never reply right away. That people just kind of...hate that? And so often I might take a little longer to reply to something than I have to because I worry that someone will feel I’m rushing a thread when really I’m excited. It kind of sucks cause like I’ll get really pumped about a thread and what’s going on, but then be afraid to just focus on that and reply to it a few times in a row. So like, if you don’t mind stuff being replied to soon after being posted? Please tell me. I can’t know for sure if you’d actually like that or if it would annoy you. 

Also, like quite a few people I think I do have anxiety, and I do worry about whether or not you like my plots or if I come off too strong or not at all. Sometimes I take a little longer to reply because of what’s said above but also because of my studies. I am in my MA program and that is a good deal of work. I don’t know that I’d reply instantly, and sometimes seeing instant replies gives me a momentary feeling of stress? I can’t really explain that at all. But I hope you’ll be patient with me and ask me how I’m feeling about it. I think mostly everyone’s been good about that, but it definitely helps when you ask.

[operationrainfall]

Title Creature in the Well Developer Flight School Studio Publisher Flight School Studio Release Date September 6th, 2019 Genre Action, Pinball, Puzzle Platform PC, Nintendo Switch, Xbox One Age Rating E for Everyone – Mild Language, Mild Fantasy Violence Official Website

It’s no exaggeration that Creature in the Well was on my radar from the first time I saw it in a Nintendo Direct. I’m easily drawn to unique art, and Creature in the Well had a quasi cel-shaded style that really got my attention. Since then, I’ve demoed it at two separate events, and my interest only grew. So of course I decided to review the game on the site. The question was, could my initial hype live up to the actual experience? Or was I dragged kicking and screaming into a pit of despair?

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Creature in the Well starts in the desert, with blinding sands blanketing a barren land. Suddenly a Bot-C engineer awakens from the sands, the last of his robotic kin. Driven by a hardwired need to fulfill an objective, but lacking recent memories, he heads through the tempest of sand and finds his way to mysterious ruins. You’re pretty much left to discover where to go, and eventually come upon some structures all centered about a gaping hole into a mountain. Years of gaming taught me to keep progressing the narrative, so I went into the hole.

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Though the Bot-C you control never really vocalizes anything, it becomes clear what your goal is. Your goal is to re-power the machine that was supposed to keep the weather in check, which mysteriously stopped working properly. As you navigate your first of several dungeons, you find the cause: the titular Creature. For some reason, the Creature is dead set against the machine working again, and will do whatever it can to stop you. This usually means laying traps to stop you, as well as trying to fight you at certain points. What’s interesting is that your Bot-C is essentially unkillable, so long as you have enough energy. But if that energy is drained by sufficient damage, the Creature will literally drag your lifeless body out of the pit and toss you aside like unwanted garbage. Sure you will survive with a fraction of a spark, but you’ll have to make your way back and try again.

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This is the essential loop to Creature in the Well. Open up a dungeon, investigate it while puzzling your way through rooms, charging your energy meter as you go, then getting defeated and returning. All of the dungeons in the game are accessed from a main HUB room, and once you’ve powered the right node, you can travel wherever you’d like. Just keep in mind that every essential system is protected by the Creature, and each time you face him you will have to survive multiple rounds of combat to progress. Which is both easier and harder than it sounds.

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In a weird way, there’s no actual combat in the game. Instead, you control the Bot-C and use his striking and charging tools to collect and launch energy balls. Striking tools can range from metal pipes to frying pans, while charging tools are a bit more esoteric, such as a magnet or dual blades. This is where the pinball mechanic comes into play, and you’d better get accustomed to it fast, cause it’s everywhere. Each room in every dungeon is a puzzle of sorts, where your goal is to charge all the bumpers sufficiently to unlock a node that will reward you with a huge amount of energy. I should clarify; the energy you gain here is separate from your health meter. You use accumulated energy to unlock gates that bar your way forward. The good thing is, not every room’s puzzle has to be solved to progress. The bad news is, not doing so properly means you get less energy and wind up a bit frustrated. At least if you’re a completionist like I usually am.

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So if you only solve puzzles by hitting balls against bumpers in the game, how do you get hurt? Easy. There are more than just bumpers, and tons of traps. Some examples are laser beams that you have to hit right before they unleash a full blast, or guns that pop up and fire at you if you hit the wrong device. My least favorite are tall pylons that, when hit, explode in a large radius, forcing you to run quick or you’ll lose a huge chunk of your health. While I’m glad these many devices are all in the game, since it would be too simple without them, they can also be frustrating. The primary reason for this is something I hate talking about: math.

Since Creature in the Well is all about pinball, it stands to reason geometry is a big factor. Depending on how you aim before you strike the balls, they may fly at wild angles. In my experience, sometimes they bounced in a way that made sense, and other times they didn’t. A good example is one of the boss fights against the Creature. When I hit one vertical bumper, my energy balls would ricochet at 45 degree angles, yet when I hit another, they would bounce back and forth horizontally. I don’t know if this was my own fault, but it made things very frustrating, especially when it happened while fighting against the Creature.

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Speaking of frustration, here’s another. You can only heal at set areas in the game, usually spaced pretty far apart. You heal by walking into a pool and letting your health meter fill up slowly. That’s fine, but why can’t I heal anywhere else? I wish there was some incremental healing that could occur, especially during boss fights, which started to wear me down about halfway through the game. It wouldn’t be an issue if the fights against the Creature weren’t multi phase, but they all are. And suffice to say, the arenas you face him in are all pretty cramped. Also, like any monster, he’s a jerk, and will do his darndest to use his many traps to wipe you out ruthlessly and quickly.

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Now to be fair, you do have a few things at your disposal to even the odds. First, you’ll come across the discarded corpses of your Bot-C brethren as you wander, and you can pillage their Cores. You can trade these in (a fact that took me several hours to discover) to get improved capability to gather more balls at once. That helps, though I personally would have preferred if my energy balls just charged things faster when upgraded. You’ll also come across a wide variety of tools to aid you, many with different characteristics. Take the dual blades I mentioned earlier. While using them to charge, you can actually see a line which indicates approximately where your balls will travel when you strike them. That’s helpful, but you still need to figure out the right time to use each tool. I loved my magnet, for example, until I realized its ability to gather balls towards me sometimes would trigger traps nearby, as well as warping the path of their movement. It’s also annoying that most of the striking tools don’t indicate what they do differently, so I had to figure it out as I went.

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Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot I liked about Creature in the Well. The atmosphere is unique, as is the combat. Not many games grab me this quickly. The puzzles are also very clever, when I could figure them out. But for every smart decision made in the game, there seemed to be another to counter it. While I’m all for smart puzzles, I’m not a fan of time limits. Many puzzles need to be solved in a certain amount of time, and if you don’t, they reset. And I’m talking about a few seconds here. Also, while I love the whole charging balls to draw them in then striking them aspect, it was hurt by the random angles. This mechanic was also affected by something very simple: the color of the energy balls. In tense situations, I would completely lose track of some of my white energy balls, and usually that would result in them hitting the wrong thing and punishing me. Or take your dash move. It’s technically there to help you avoid damage, but I found it rarely did its job. That’s in part probably cause it has no invincibility frame, and also because your boost of speed is minor. More than once I would try to dash out of harm’s way only to get hit. But perhaps my biggest complaint is how grindy the game gets. The pattern of the game is fine, but it needs more variety. Things got very samey the longer I played, just finding ways to be harder without necessarily being more creative.

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On the visual and sound side of things, I really have no complaints. The aesthetic style of Creature in the Well is stunning and attention grabbing. It made me want to learn all the secrets of this world, often found in terminals throughout the dungeons. The Creature was equal parts mysterious and menacing, never completely showing its face, appearing like some sort of mechanical, skeletal cat with fierce intelligence. Even though many of the dungeons looked very similar, clever use of shade and color kept things different. Though the music isn’t some compelling ballad, it does a good job of grounding the unique flavor of the game, and the sound effects were punchy and dynamic. This is a world where each secret is just waiting to be unearthed, and tragedy and heartbreak are constant companions.

Sadly, I wasn’t able to completely beat Creature in the Well. I gave it an old college try, clocking in 5+ hours, but when I got stuck in two separate dungeons due to incredibly difficult Creature fights, I eventually gave up. Which is unfortunate, because there’s a lot of things I really admire about Creature in the Well, especially considering it only costs $14.99. I’d say as a first effort from Flight School, this is a great success. If they can just improve on the flow of their next game while tweaking the difficulty to better accommodate players, then I’ll be very happy. As it is, I hope I can eventually beat the Creature and discover the secrets of this fascinating world.

[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”3″]

Review Copy Provided by Publisher

REVIEW: Creature in the Well Title Creature in the Well

[maxfreedmanwrites-blog]

My Favorite Songs of the First Half of 2017, RANKED

This year, I decided, you know what, fuck it? I’m gonna indulge myself. I like talking about music, writing about music, and just generally being able to turn the “oh my god this SONG” in my head into actual coherent prose. This is super informal though, I’m not trying to impress The Journalism Gods™, just doing this for me mostly.  And I’m also really curious how different my end-of-year list will look from this midyear list (and by extension, how my end-of-year list will compare to my end-of-decade list). Also we might all be blown to bits by the end of this year so I just wanted to do this for once okay????

ANYWAY I’m rolling out albums tomorrow, but here’s my songs of the year so far. I’m starting you off with an alphabetical honorable mention section of 10 songs, and then I ranked my top 10 songs. For the honorable mentions, I gave a four word description so that, if you haven’t heard the song, you know whether you might dig it. Then it’s full on WORDS for the ranked top 10. Oh, and did I mention each section has a corresponding Spotify playlist? BOOM

Honorable Mentions

Presented as Artist – Album (Label), and * = I work with this artist; ^ = I previously worked with this artist

Arca – “Desafio” (XL) (weird, beautiful electronic ballad)

Balun – “Teletransporte” (Good Child Music) (entrancing, ambient pop journey)

Blanck Mass – “Silent Treatment” (Sacred Bones) (hell on the dancefloor)

Blessed – “Headache” (Coin Toss Records/Kingfisher Bluez) (art punk with math)

Chelsea Wolfe – “16 Psyche” (Sargent House) (metal, but goth rock)

Fufanu – “Liability” * (One Little Indian) (post-punk in the club)

Leyya – “Zoo” ^ (Las Vegas Records) (sassy, smack-talking deep cut)

Shame – “Tasteless” (Fnord Comms (however, this band just signed to Dead Oceans)) (classic post-punk done modern)

Yoke Lore – “Only You” (Independent Label Alliance) * (late morning sunshine inspiration)

Zola Jesus – “Exhumed” (Sacred Bones) (overwhelming, symphonic electronic drama)

Honorable Mentions playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/126489514/playlist/2AzLWfVloJH07fnmV0QeOE

Ranked Top 10

Playlist at the very bottom

10) Big Thief – “Shark Smile” (Saddle Creek)

You’ll see in my albums list tomorrow that I’ve opted to exclude Capacity, Big Thief’s newest album, from consideration just because it’s so new that I can’t really hold it up to things I’ve been enjoying for much longer, even though it’s pretty fuckin’ goddamn great. I don’t have that dilemma with songs, since they’re much shorter, but either way, “Shark Smile” has been around for at least a month longer than the album, and it hasn’t entirely left my head since I first heard it. Last year, Big Thief’s Masterpiece was #9 on my albums of the year list, and Capacity sees the band moving further inward, far less pop-oriented, as vocalist/songwriter/guitarist Adrianne Lenker explores her formative traumas; “Shark Smile” sounds like Lenker negotiating the space between the sound she wanted to achieve with each album, and it’s overwhelming and amazing. It’s a searing, painfully detailed recollection of a pretty gnarly car accident, its intensity building over the song’s course just as one’s adrenaline might accelerate while they’re in a car going over the guardrail. This is the exact scenario Lenker describes at the song’s peak, when her snarl and the band’s racket come bursting from their seams, overtaking me so strongly I usually play this song three times before moving forward with the rest of the album. “Humans,” from Masterpiece, was in my Top 5 songs last year, and this shit makes that song seem like child’s play.

9) Gabriel Garzón-Montano – “The Game” (Stones Throw)

You could look like a piece of ham growing mold between two pieces of American cheese—which isn’t even real cheese!!—and still be sexy as hell if you were the person behind “The Game.” Jardín, Gabriel Garzón-Montano’s newest album, is rife with nu-soul influence, and “The Game” is its most addicting example of how Garzón-Montano toys with the genre’s pervasive sexuality. It starts by asking its central character why he’s comparing himself to some other guy (some real lame-o, it seems), then tells him he could just roll up with swagger out the ass and have no problems anymore. Musically, it’s a soundtrack to someone running into a casual, heavily seated jazz bar and weaving his way through scores of women—this is very straight music, honestly—hoping to magically recruit one to a sensual dance and follow that with a Miguel-style Coffee In The Morning. I wonder if snarling “now walk like a tangerine” on loop in the club could find me the love of my life…probably not, but that’s because I’m not an architect of lively, jittery soul anthems like this fuckin’ guy.

8) Dream Wife – “Somebody” (Lucky Number Music)

“I am not my body/I’m somebody.” This song came out two months after the Women’s March, yet its chorus could’ve been the basis for so many of the hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of signs boldly donned across the world’s major cities. This line is preceded by vocalist Rakel Mjöll’s sarcastic reciting of some dude who doesn’t believe in rape culture’s bullshit justification for some scumbag’s actions—“You were a cute girl standing back stage/it was bound/to happen”—one of the most memorable and clearly audible lyrics to grace rock music recently, perhaps intentionally so because the point of view it’s shitting on is so despicable. Of course, even the most pointed social commentary in music is still music, so it helps that the gently overdriven guitars here are just as natural to latch onto as Mjöll’s chameleonic voice. Dream Wife don’t have to reinvent rock to make it enjoyable; mining its longstanding strengths and not beating around the bush on a frustratingly omnipresent social issue in music do that just fine.

7) Lorde – “Green Light” (Republic)

Melodrama is nearly as good as the hype says, but it’s also a June release (see Big Thief above), and I also don’t always make it past the first track 'cause godDAMN this song is impossible to dislike. “Green Light” is like if the overproduced bullshit “gracing” the airwaves on Top 40 radio had a conscience, seriously great songwriting, and a semi-intentionally clunky lyric or two to give it character (‘she thinks you love the beach/you’re such a damn liar” should’ve been the basis of more memes this year). The chorus is accessible as fuck, and by that I mean, teenage girls, pop critics, electronic fans, and straight up alternative listeners should have no trouble finding catharsis in how that enticing piano bop from the pre-chorus goes full-steam big party singalong in the chorus. Can’t you imagine this song just lighting up diverse folks occupying the same karaoke bar? Don’t you just want to get out of your seat and start dancing every time this song comes on? It’s as graceful and innately thrilling as big-bucks pop gets; even someone as pretentious and picky as myself is absolutely helpless when I hear it.

6) Perfume Genius – “Wreath” (Matador)

“Wreath” trembles throughout its entire, far too short run. There’s a constant shaking, the semblance of a heart beating its very fastest, in these incredibly fascinating synths that are equal parts bony and glitzy. This song is as celebratory as it is uneasy (a pretty apt description for No Shape at large), riveting in its experimental sounds and dramatic vocal delivery. As though Mike Hadreas’ descriptions of sunsets and sunrises demarcating new days weren’t unusually harrowing, the way his voice transforms from a relatively gentle bellow into an all-consuming howl is nothing short of arresting. Does it sound like he gradually shifts from singing the word “grave” to the word “death” in the song’s outro, or is that just me? This is seriously rattling shit, the kind of transformative experience that’ll take you out-of-body for a hot moment before you dive right back into it, because there’s no playing this song just once.

5) Palm – “Walkie Talkie” (Carpark)

Palm’s gotten its finite yet rabid fanbase from its deconstruction and subsequent repair of rock norms. There is no verse-chorus-verse, no common time, no mere sequence of eighth notes with Palm; instead, there are incredibly brainy runs of guitar-drum polyrhythms, passages where the only thing more difficult to trace than the beat is the reason you keep even trying to trace the beat when you know how futile that is. Also, there are flares of dissonant, fanged noise rushing at you from every conceivable angle. 

“Walkie Talkie” is one of Palm’s most compelling runs to date, a portrait of an art-rock band continuing to focus equally on art and rock. Whereas so many new releases depart in some manner, subtle or otherwise, from their predecessors, “Walkie Talkie” doesn’t too fundamentally fuck with Palm’s established domain of janky, demanding noise rock. It’s just another incredibly strong entry into the Palm canon, and since this band has spent its existence doing something that so few other artists are doing, that’s really all we can ask for. And I’m pretty sure the phrase “trading basics,” which is the title of their stellar 2015 album, pops up a couple times on this song, and I don’t remember hearing it ever said on the album. So sometimes sticking with what made you amazing in the first place is the right move.

4) Run the Jewels – “Thursday in the Danger Room (ft. Kamasi Washington)” (self-released)

Literally nobody came to RTJ3 to cry. Everyone who loved RTJ2’s potent mix of absolute bangers and still-necessary, eternally relevant political commentary—it’s honestly so frustrating that, even though we’re having such good conversations and Black Lives Matter has gained serious political weight (and used it amazingly), Philando Castile’s murderer was nevertheless just recently entirely acquitted—came to RTJ3 expecting the same. And they got no less of the commentary, but generally, the album is less bombastic. Not that these are ballads or anything, but holy fuck is “Thursday in the Danger Room” beautifully close to that. (Also, before we go any further, yes this song/album were technically released in 2016 but FUCK IT (also more on this in my albums list tomorrow))

I remember seeing El-P tweet that he and Killer Mike almost left this song off the album since it’s so goddamn personal. El’s verse about watching a friend slowly die—heavily implied to be a battle against something like cancer or another fatal disease—ends with some seriously tear-jerking shit, and then these two have the audacity to throw in a chorus with not just Kamasi Washington’s most solemn sax run to date, but these actual lyrics oh my god:

And I guess I'd say I'll see you soon

But the truth is that I see you now

Still talk to you like you're around

And I guess I say you left too soon

But the truth is that you never left

'Cause I never let myself forget

And then there’s Mike’s verse about a friend he lost to a mugging, and how he tried to help this friend’s family through the emotional and financial turmoil in the fallout. If somehow RTJ2’s tales of police brutality weren’t thoroughly humanizing—“Early” is especially moving—this song right here will slap the shit out of your tear ducts and really get you going. This song is as devastating as it is gorgeous, and I can’t really think of another hip-hop song with the capacity to make me tear up like this one.

3) Kelly Lee Owens – “Anxi (ft. Jenny Hval)” (Smalltown Supersound)

To be perfectly clear: the best song on Kelly Lee Owens is “CBM,” which stands a good shot at making my Top 30 or so Songs of the Decade, but since “CBM” first appeared on last year’s unreal, near-perfect Oleic EP, it doesn’t count for this list. “Anxi” is pretty fucking stellar, though, so I’m actually glad I didn’t have to decide between the two. When I chatted with Kelly Lee Owens for FLOOD Magazine earlier this year, I mentioned to her that she and featured vocalist Jenny Hval have startingly similar voices, and before I could even ask her if that’s something she gets a lot, she went off on how even she remains fascinated by how much the two sound alike. As blasphemous as this is to say, Jenny sounds even more natural on this beat—the year’s best electronic beat, in my opinion—than KLO herself might. “Anxi” is two immensely talented experimentalists bringing out the best in each other.

“Anxi” starts out innocuously enough, with a beat so subtle and murky only Kelly Lee Owens could’ve crafted it. It’s pretty amazing that KLO’s already such a distinct beatmaker this early on in her career, and having Jenny’s voice here—both in singing and spoken word form—makes the beat all the more alluring. Anyone in tune with KLO’s soundalikes—namely, IDM and especially Aphex Twin—might gauge that more is to come, so the handful of chugs that come after Hval wraps up her main appearance aren’t surprising. But that bass-heavy groove that comes in about 10 seconds later? That shit slaps, even though it’s more restrained than about 99% of electronic music. It’s a great example of KLO’s charm: her beats are really, really tightly tethered, yet they’re as body-shaking and freak-out-worthy as something by, say, Grimes or Caribou. “Anxi” is methodical, ominous, and just a fucking banger, even though it’s incredibly quiet. For lack of a better word, it’s magical.

2) (Sandy) Alex G – “Brick” (Domino)

“Brick” is a shitty song, and I mean that as high praise. It’s really just Alex G having a temper tantrum; its lyrics detailing the final stages of a relationship are clunky as shit, and there are moments where it’s just him screaming against a drum machine, and also the guitars are so muddy and loud they’re indistinct, and also these are the exact things I love about it. It verges on being bad by way of just being immature and petulant, but honestly in this era when we all want to punch everything in the face and everything is infuriating, who am I to judge? Instead, when “Brick” comes on, I give in to my visceral, unpretentious senses and go out smashing windows, toppling over newspaper stands, knocking pedestrians to the sidewalk, and lighting shit on fire.

Not actually, but that’s what “Brick” makes me want to do, and I love songs that can make me do that without sounding gross. As I described before, “Brick” should sound gross, overdone, tawdry, and all that, but it somehow finds a perfect balance of aggression and homespun emotion to be an endlessly replayable song. Honestly, I didn’t even know what its lyrics were before I looked them up; I was enthralled enough having a punching bag song, the sort of anthem that can sympathize with me on my bad days, remind me that the world at large sucks on my good days, and drown out the hysteria of the subways on any ordinary day. I’m not really much of a mosh pit guy, but “Brick” brings out the animal in me and makes me want to run headfirst into a crowd of angry showgoers and punch some faces. Everyone’s got some anger in them, and this song brings out the minimal amount that lies in me.

Also, this is essentially a hardcore punk song on Rocket, a country-lite album?! Yooooooooooooo

1) Priests – “JJ” (Sister Polygon)

“JJ” is like “Shut Up Kiss Me” but punk. I just had to say that because it’s me writing this, regardless of any true analogy there might be. But there kind of is one. (Also, yeah this song came out in late October 2016, but it’s the best song on Nothing Feels Natural, which came out in January, don’t @ me).

My eternal “Shut Up Kiss Me” obsession comes from many places: its tongue-in-cheek pop tropes; its catchy-as-hell guitars; its fiery, thrilling vocals; its joke-filled lyricism that can also be taken at face value as wholly serious; its incessant replayability. “JJ” has all this, but in an entirely different context. It’s a post-punk song with surf rock elements infused throughout, and its structure affords some novelties even though it’s mostly familiar terrain; still though, after long enough, the way Katie Alice Greer snarls “When I met you/you were just a bad attituuuuuude!/You dated a model/one time she stuck her finger in a light socket” feels more like an in-joke than a send-up of some bad ex’s even worse ex. “You were just a rich kid/low-life in a very big jacket in a very big way” precedes a diss about the entirely commonplace cigarettes this guy—let’s call him JJ—smokes, and then Katie disses her own cigarette habits before moping, with more than a hint of satirical self-pity, “You thought I was disgusting/You thought I was disgusting.” Of course, this can also be taken as an entirely serious remark, one relating her own self-image issues to this ex’s abusive words. When Katie tells us that “all the jock frat boys” called JJ a “hipster fag,” she’s simultaneously mocking him, mocking herself for dating him, and lambasting the frat culture that allows homophobic slurs to be so commonplace in the first place. As the song moves into its final chant of “Who ever deserved anything, anyway?/what a stupid concept,” it’s just as easy to imagine an angsty teenager shouting this as a friendship ends as it is to envision Katie seriously lamenting the fact that she actually held JJ to any sort of high standards. So yeah, that whole “what’s a joke, and what’s serious?” thing is on full display here.

And then, of course, there’s the music. As tongue-in-cheek pop tropes go, they’re a bit fewer and farther between here than on “Shut Up Kiss Me,” but the assertiveness that Katie presents on what’s a relatively standard structure song fits that mold. G.L. Jaguar’s catchy-as-hell guitars and Katie’s fiery, thrilling vocals and especially the incessant replayability are real as fuck, though. The guitar line that opens the song and later commands its second verse is stupidly catchy, and even when the six-string takes a bit of a backseat, its faint melancholy is pervasive; when guitars introduce the interlude following the second verse, they’re pure firebrand. Katie’s voice throughout is loaded with vibrato and drama, at times veering on parody—“I wrote a bunch of songs for you” sounds like she’s teasing JJ rather than castigating him—and it’s also a stellar fucking performance. Here’s someone who can belt, sing straight from the gut, and mutter introspectively as she sees fit. And you know what’s really great? Everything happening here goes down in under three minutes, so of course you’re gonna hit replay. I’m gonna be listening to this song constantly through the end of the decade, when I expect it’ll crack my Top 10 Songs of the Decade list. “Shut Up Kiss Me” will still be #1, but god I’m happy to have a punk version.

If you think the “Shut Up Kiss Me” comparison is a huge stretch (it definitely is, let’s be real), I have an argument in your favor. I still don’t hear the pianos on “Shut Up Kiss Me” that Angel Olsen details on Song Exploder, even though I’ve listened to that goddamn song like 500 times. Pianos on “JJ”? Everywhere, baby. And they really make all the difference.

Ranked Top 10 playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/126489514/playlist/4gt4kP3aZ5bEJoJNvn6zGH