#whew. I SAID I'd get it done before the year was out. here we are folks!

[ash-rigby]

Sharp Fangs, Soft Thighs (Naga) [M/M] [Trans]

Featured Characters: Male, Indian human and a trans male naga.

Description: Ranjit finally convinces his naga partner Srikanth to bite and inject him with aphrodisiac venom, with the stipulation of the bites themselves being gentle. However, Srikanth perhaps goes a little overboard with how many there are.

Contains: Biting, Aphrodisiac Venom, Long Tongue, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Dual Cocks (Tdick), Mild Squirting, Multiple Orgasms, Excessive Cum, Mild Cumflation, Mild Breeding Kink.

Note For Trans Readers: Srikanth, the Naga in this story, is explicitly trans. His chest goes undescibed. The words “hole” and “slit” are used for his genitalia as well as “cocks” to describe his dual bottom growth. There’s a mild breeding kink element involving him, so if this would upset you in any way, then consider skipping this one. I have other stories with trans men that don't have this, so check out my masterlist to find them!

Completion Date: December 29th, 2024

Word Count: 4594

-

It was reasonable to fear the bite of a snake and utterly twisted to be aroused by the thought of one. Ranjit was well aware of that. And yet, as he sat on the floor with his back against Srikanth’s large, muscular, scaled body, he couldn’t help the shiver of excitement that ran through him.

One merely had to look at a Naga to know their special qualities. Their alluring coils and vibrant scales. But to be their lover afforded you a last, secret pleasure; very intimate knowledge of their secondary venom gland. A sharp, deep injection of potent aphrodisiac instead of their typically lethal toxin.

Srikanth had teased Ranjit with that for a long time, only occasionally grazing those fangs over his skin as they fucked. Sometimes he would press them hard into his flesh, quickening Ranjit’s breath and pulse before pulling away with an infuriatingly arousing laugh. Never taking the full plunge. Ranjit had assumed this was a game the Naga wanted to play, to whittle down his sanity until he got what he wanted; wanton begging to be bitten.

Doing so had not gone as expected—at all. As Ranjit straddled Srikanth, grinding his hips so his cock slid against the wet slit as he whined with need about his desire, his partner’s demeanor shifted to discomfort. Then those bright reptilian eyes brimmed with the first tears Ranjit had ever seen in them and his heart just about leapt out of his throat. Needless to say, they had stopped and later talked at length about what had happened.

Ranjit was Srikanth’s first human lover, following a number of more robust Nagas and creatures. For all his preening over his size, strength and evident deadliness, Srikanth had been left trembling at the thought of hurting him. Breaking bones within an ill-timed coil, losing himself in feral arousal and biting too deeply, drawing from the wrong gland. His shaking abated slightly at Ranjit’s touch, held by his arms and gently reassured.

“You’re not an animal,” Ranjit had told him, still shocked by the shattering of his lover’s front and pained by how little credit Srikanth afforded himself. “I trust you…but this doesn’t have to happen tonight...or ever if that’s what you want. We—we’ll talk about it properly.”

Ranjit readily resigned himself to the possibility that they would never do it; Srikanth’s comfort had to come first over his fantasies. But after a period of careful planning and negotiation, it was time. He found himself looking down into Srikanth’s eager, beautiful face as the Naga crawled forward, head situating between his spread thighs.

“Only if it is done as gently as I can manage”, had been the stipulation. “Nothing rough so long as my fangs are out”. 

Somehow, that idea only excited Ranjit more; a slow sink of fangs that would have him feeling their full length as they penetrated him. Intimate and lingering as the heat he craved entered his blood. Spreading. Claiming. Influencing. He trembled as Srikanth’s hands touched his legs.

Kisses littered his stomach, otherworldly green eyes finding his as he swallowed, his cock already twitching.

“You’re ready?” Srikanth murmured, lips brushing Ranjit’s skin like butterfly wings as he spoke. His fangs were thrillingly close. Arousing images of them entering deeply in a sudden frenzy filled Ranjit’s mind and his heart began to pound—it wouldn’t be like that, but fuck.

Just do it, he thought. Now. Bite.

“Yes. For so…so long.”

“Patience,” Srikanth said with a gentle smile. “Let’s…work you up to it.”

His mouth found Ranjit’s dick within moments. He kissed the head, chuckling at the instant pulse such a simple action elicited before teasing the slit. The long tongue then slid up the underside of his shaft, cradling and stroking all at once. It wrapped around him in a soft, wet clasp, the coil beginning to move slowly up and down in short passes. He moaned lowly as his cock throbbed itself to half-hardness.

It was incredible, but not enough. Ranjit typically took a while to find that coveted full, deliciously solid erection, but the anticipation for what was to come was making it all the more difficult. Srikanth’s tongue twisted and drooled all over him, every futile twitch of his cock filling him further with need.

Ranjit’s breath stuttered when Srikanth released him, locking their gazes silently. He watched his lover’s mouth open, twin fangs extending further and dripping with a clear but somewhat rosy-coloured fluid. Srikanth lowered them to Ranjit’s thigh, dragging them across sweat-beaded skin before pulling away and moving to do the same to the other leg.

Ranjit panted. He felt himself grow minutely harder just from the suggestion; he was mad for this. Srikanth continued to tease. Grazing, pressing in without piercing, nipping with his lips. Deny, deny, and deny again. A high-pitched, pathetic whimper escaped Ranjit for the first time in his adult life.

“Please…please…please, please, please,” he begged, half-erection weeping.

The tips of Srikanth’s fangs stilled against him. There was a careful, slowly building pressure. Fuck, yes. Ranjit sucked in a breath at the sharp sting and released it as a moan as he finally felt the pop of his skin breaking and the gentle but deep bite into his thigh.

The effect was instant; warmth pumping from the site and through Ranjit’s body like a rapidly descending fever. A sweet, floral scent that clung to the back of his throat came to him. His head swum, his heart starting to hammer against his ribcage. It was all he could hear for a moment. The heavy thumping in his ears; a pulse that swiftly worked its way into his cock. Heat pooled with greatest intensity there as he felt it swell, untouched, until it strained in the air.

Srikanth’s mouth, which had lingered against Ranjit’s thigh, retracted. He licked at the punctures, digging in as he lapped up the small amount of blood. Ranjit jolted and cried out—it felt as good as being fucked. Precum beaded at his tip and ran down his shaft.

Srikanth looked sidelong at it. Without a word, he caught the fluid with his tongue, tracing its path back to Ranjit’s flushed head. He closed his lips around it, holding his lover’s gaze intensely as he slowly took him into his throat.

Ranjit couldn’t stop the loud, desperate sounds from escaping him and his eyes rolled. It was almost embarrassing; he usually only moaned like that when he was about to cum. But every second of his inches being claimed was euphoric. He felt himself leaking just from that single plunge, bucking his hips to get the last bit of his cock deeply seated inside.

That sudden move made Srikanth grunt in surprise and it spurred him to begin bobbing his head. Ranjit groaned, his feet scrambling as he fought the need to fully writhe. He might have cried if any movement accidentally pulled him free of the wet heat engulfing him.

Srikanth was merciless, taking him fast and deep. He caressed and fondled Ranjit’s balls as he sucked. Moans vibrated his yielding throat each time he reached the hilt and buried his nose into coarse,musky hair.

The venom coursed through Ranjit, working to ignite him. He was hyper-aware of every pleasure center in his body whether it was receiving attention or not; even that sweet spot deep in his ass seemed to be lightly pulsating with every heavy throb of his cock. It had never been this hard before. Bulging hot between his trembling legs. He raised weak hands to Srikanth’s head.

“S-s-slow d-down,” he begged. “It’s alrea—dy s-so—ahhhh!”

He went disobeyed, chest heaving as he was ruined far too quickly under the venom’s influence. His head fell back as he loudly moaned, hips snapping up against Srikanth’s face as he came in rapid pumps. Srikanth swallowed around him and milked out his last drops before pulling away.

Ranjit panted, his face flushing with mortification.

“Fuck…s-sorry.”

He received a grin. “No worries…we’ll just have to go again.”

Ranjit felt Srikanth’s breath at his thigh. He wasn’t really about to—? Fangs dug into him once more, close to the first bite which still arousingly ached. A drawn-out moan sounded from him as a second rush flowed through his body. It mingled with the first—two clashing electrical storms amplifying one another—and went straight to his relentless erection.

“Th—that won’t help me la—last much…mmmm!”

He could feel his cock jolting in the air with immense, fervent pulses. It somehow felt like it had swollen thicker. The sensation of that alone had him quivering on the edge of a second orgasm. Looking down, he watched its wild twitching for a moment as Srikanth neared it once more; mouth open, tongue reaching. The ghost of a warm exhale left him gasping.

“I’m going to lose it,” he thought, his own heartbeat a hypnotic, frantic thump in his ears.

Ranjit felt dizzy, a tingling heat running out to his extremities and briefly numbing them before rushing to his groin. Precum spurted from him as it did, landing on Srikanth’s extended tongue as it approached and cradled his head. The fluid flowed in odd excess, dripping over the sides of the teasing muscle. It didn’t even move, holding still as half-lidded eyes regarded him. Ranjit whimpered; already feeling his balls tightening from the simple touch.

He grit his teeth. Don’t cum yet. Don’t cum, don’t cum, don’t cum, don’t cum, don’t—.

“AHHH—fuck!”

Stars burst in Ranjit’s eyes as Srikanth took him into his mouth again. For a moment, his awareness faded solely to the intense pleasure enveloping his cock and the wild pulse that had claimed him from its tip to his hole. Vision blank. Mind empty. Otherwise insensate. He was only his flushed, straining dick and the whole of him was being swallowed up. Sweltering. Wet.

Ranjit came back to the sound of his own whimpering moans as Srikanth resumed his brutal pace. He couldn’t take it. Couldn’t hold it in. It only took a few quick plunges before cum was pumping up through his thick shaft and down Srikanth’s throat.

The Naga pulled off of him, but Ranjit’s release didn’t let up. His nails dug into the fevered meat of his thighs as continual shocks of pleasure kept him intermittently spurting, his lower body quivering with each miniature orgasm. He could feel Srikanth watching, entranced by the sight of his lover’s swollen cock continuing to burst into the air. It eventually calmed; only on the spilling front. The hardness did not abate even a fraction, every throb broadcasting a mindless greed.

More, more, more, more.

Ranjit barely had a moment to catch his breath before he was feeling another bite.

Then a second.

He came with the third, untouched and wailing. There was so much venom rushing through him. It was like his brain was swimming in it, making him dizzy and blurring any thought that wasn’t about cumming again. A pleasure-induced drunkenness that came with all the right cravings.

Srikanth didn’t use his mouth again. Instead he slid up beside Ranjit and snaked an arm behind the small of his back. He took his other hand and ran his fingers, feather light, over Ranjit’s chest. His caresses paused at Ranjit’s navel, inches from his insatiable, pounding cock.

“P-please,” Ranjit begged, trembling. “T-touch…touch…tooouch.”

A deep chuckle rumbled through him.

“Lost our vocabulary, have we?” Srikanth asked. Ranjit choked on a moan as he felt deft fingers wrap around his shaft. “But not our manners. And that’s all that matters.”

Srikanth started stroking, sliding his palm over the slick mess of saliva and precum. The sound of it was wet and absolutely filthy. Ranjit’s head dropped back onto the muscular, scaly body behind him and Srikanth readily began to kiss and mouth at his exposed neck. He swallowed against the amorous lips and tongue, breath hitching when he felt the graze of a fang; it brought on yet another orgasm. Thick cum audibly hit the floor and Srikanth didn’t pause for a second.

Ranjit’s cock remained full, hot, and needy. It continued its frenetic pulse in Srikanth’s hand, ready to burst again with just a few more strokes. The venom coursing through its every inch had reduced it to such an embarrassing state. So sensitive and easy. But his body’s complete loss of control was intoxicating, frivolous in its near-incessant releases. He gave an open-mouthed moan, back arching slightly as he came.

“Th-there’s so much,” he said, interrupted by a wobbly cry when the next three strokes were enough to set him off again. He shook, panting. “H-how do I keep—keep c-cumming like this? Over and over and—ahhh!”

Ranjit should have been milked dry by then. But his body just kept producing. He swore he could feel it happening as his balls had taken up a deep throb of their own, affixed in a constant risen position against his shaft. The venom’s potency had been expected. Not its ability to bend his natural functions to its lewd whims.

“For what other reason would we have this venom?” Srikanth purred in Ranjit’s ear. “But for breeding.”

Ranjit sucked in a breath, releasing it as a needy groan.

“It ensures the job. Gets. Done,” Srikanth continued, punctuating his words with swift pumps.

Another copious splatter of seed added itself to the mess on the ground. It almost seemed like a waste. Ranjit was consumed with the desire to bury himself and cum deep in Srikanth’s slit. To see it filled to leaking around him as he continuously pumped inside. That vision was the only thing his mind could focus on.

Ranjit lost count of how many times he came with Srikanth murmuring a litany of filthy words and praises between each wild, throbbing release. But then all too suddenly, the stroking stopped and the hand left him.

He whimpered, lips trembling. “Wh—no. Srikanth…please, I—.”

Ranjit felt long fingers wrap around his wrist, guiding it. His hand met something wet and hot that twitched as he made contact. In a near-daze, he lolled his head to look, finding his palm resting on Srikanth’s dripping slit.

“I’ve been doing a lot of the work here, jaanu,” Srikanth purred. “Why not return the favour for a little while?”

He was right, of course, but Ranjit couldn’t help but stare sidelong at the erection still standing eager and pulsing between his legs. There were splatters of cum everywhere, dripping off his thighs, calves, and feet. He ached to add more. There was a shift of Srikanth’s heavy lower half and Ranjit felt a scaly coil around his free hand’s arm, pinning it at his side.

“And you will leave your cock alone while you do,” Srikanth added lowly. The teasing smile was audible. “You can hold on for me, can’t you?”

Ranjit said nothing, more than a little distracted by the feeling of the gentle but deeply erotic pulses against his dampening hand. A shaking breath exited around the lump in his throat as he gave a jerky nod instead. He started stroking, briefly palming the slight mound before teasing a couple fingers over the slit. Part of him wanted to truly “return the favour” and take things tortuously slow. But he couldn’t help himself; he needed to feel his lover—even if it was with just his fingers. Srikanth gasped and moaned in his ear as he dug in deeper.

The slit opened up in response to the stroking, scales giving way to slick inner folds that twitched and parted for him. Ranjit had always loved the almost graceful motion of it. How it eagerly spread itself like that and how clearly he could see the hole. The ring gaped and quivered each time his fingertips neared it. Fluid began to leak out, warm and glistening. Ranjit could practically taste the arousal in the heady scent of it.

Srikanth’s breath stuttered as the twin nubs that were his cocks swelled out of their sheaths to their thick two inches, throbbing and dripping. Memories of rubbing his own dick against them surged in Ranjit’s mind; how he would wring a few orgasms from his lover doing so before plunging inside him. He swallowed a whimper at the phantom sensation of a clinging hole they spurred, feeling a number of heavy pulses run through his weeping length.

This venom had him nearly cumming just from a thought. If this is what losing his mind would feel like, he welcomed it.

Pausing his caresses of Srikanth’s folds, Ranjit turned his attention to his cocks. He ran his fingers over each in turn, running quick circles around the tips. They grew somehow harder, seemingly jolting into his touch. Srikanth was panting in between subdued groans and when his hips began to minutely thrust, Ranjit knew how to undo him. Taking both cocks into his hand, enveloping them in his fist, he began pumping.

“Mmm…just like that, jaanu,” Srikanth breathed. “More…faster.”

Ranjit obeyed, moving his hand in swift, short bursts. He looked at Srikanth, locking eyes as he pleasured him. It was beautiful; the pure bliss he saw there. Srikanth’s mouth was open, moans intermittently riding his quick breaths. The tight, wet heat had to feel incredible.

Again, Ranjit’s cock let its envy be known; throbbing, throbbing, throbbing. Pressure building. His eyes rolled as his tight, heavy-feeling balls shifted snugly against his shaft. Unconsciously, he tried to move his other hand to touch himself, stopped by the coil around his wrist pressing harder.

Srikanth briefly smirked through his pleasure. “Not yet…don’t you dare.”

Ranjit groaned, continuing to pump his fist. He felt Srikanth’s cocks pulsing harder as the Naga became more vocal, his cries less restrained. He tightened his grip just slightly, eliciting a gasp and a buck of his lover’s hips. Claws dug lightly into his hip as Srikanth curled forward, forcing Ranjit’s head against his collarbone. There he could faintly but clearly hear his lover’s quick heartbeat. Close…so close.

Ranjit gasped, feeling warmth travelling up through his length. No…it couldn’t be. Cum began to ooze from him without the satisfaction of an orgasm, the build-up finally becoming too much. His slit twitched, opened to the constant, slow stream that formed. It felt amazing, but it still wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough. His cock’s pulse kept thundering as true release hovered tantalizingly out of reach.

Srikanth’s breath suddenly seized, his torso shaking for a few seconds before release gripped him and a loud moan worked its way from his throat. His cocks gave hard, rhythmic throbs in their still-moving confines, the entirety of his slit visibly going wild with them. The hole rapidly winked and clenched around nothing—nothing yet.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop,” Srikanth chanted. Ranjit didn’t, not even letting up in pace. “Ahhh—don’t stop, don’t stop, I’m—I’m going to—going to—!”

His head snapped back and his hips jutted forward as several small but impressive spurts of clear fluid exited his intensely pulsating slit and into the air. The fountain drenched Ranjit’s thigh; some landing on his dick, mingling with the cum running down and off his aching, twitching balls. He stopped stroking Srikanth, laying there panting and too needy to stop the small, pathetic noises that escaped his parted lips.

“Ranjit.”

The sound of his name in his lover’s low, silky tone had Ranjit instantly looking into up into Srikanth’s face. Before he could give in to begging, a hand took his jaw and warm lips were on his. The kiss was far from chaste and Srikanth’s long tongue swiftly worked it’s way past Ranjit’s teeth and into his throat. The muscle undulated slowly and deeply. He could barely breathe. But all too suddenly, he felt a familiar sensation building inside him. He was really about to—.

Moans muffled by the probing tongue, Ranjit came; untouched, harder than he ever had in his life. His eyes rolled, tears running freely. Thick pumps of cum shot from him, seemingly endless, each just as euphoric as the last. Srikanth pulled out of his throat as they finally abated, lapping up a line of drool that had run down his chin. They stared at each other for a moment; silent, breaths heavy.

Ranjit should have been exhausted, but release had somehow bestowed a new vigor in him. His cock still stood.

“Srikanth…please…I need…I need to fu—ahhh.”

He was interrupted by a small aftershock, length throbbing as a last bit of cum dribbled from him.

Srikanth hummed thoughtfully, smiling at whatever look flashed across Ranjit’s face. “I believe we’ve both earned this. Come up here, jaanu.”

He shifted to lay fully flat on his back. Ranjit all but scrambled up onto of him. He straddled his lover and slid his cock to rest on Srikanth’s slit, the head situated between the twin appendages at its top. Despite his desperation, he sat still and relished in feeling them pulse together. A hand lighted on the top of his shaft, the thumb caressing and making him twitch.

Ranjit’s hips started moving almost of their own accord, a slow grind as his cock was pressed between Srikanth’s palm and slit. He raised his head and the expression he found himself regarded by, fondness positively dripping with lust, was all the spurring he needed. Before he could be told otherwise— told to wait a second longer—he pulled out from under his lover’s touch, lined his cock up to Srikanth’s hole, and slipped in with a gravelly moan.

He paused buried to the hilt, mouth open as he was temporarily paralyzed by the overwhelming relief of finally feeling Srikanth’s insides wrapped around him. That frantic beat began to build in his shaft and balls again; heat, leaking fluids, a somehow further swelling. There was a series of irregular, fluttering squeezes on his dick as Srikanth actually whimpered; a gorgeous, sweet sound rarely heard.

“How are you…so much bigger than usual?” he asked, sounding slightly delirious as he began to pant, eyes glazing over. “Throbbing so powerfully…I’ve never felt you so—I was a fool to put off envenoming you…a damn, damn fool. Move…fuck me…fuck me, fuck me!”

Ranjit braced his hands on Srikanth’s waist and began to thrust, impatience having him grunting and slamming within seconds. He felt like a wild animal, bouncing atop his lover, moaning loudly as he pumped out cum after only a handful of quick plunges. He didn’t stop, fucking into his own release; warm, thick and audible as it was stirred up by the pistoning of his cock.

Ranjit didn’t care how easy it was anymore. The desire to fill consumed him. He came again, pausing then to ensure it spilled deep and stayed there. His ass twitched with it and he couldn’t believe how good even that felt, the contractions radiating from his pulsing, overworked prostate.

He began to move again, slower only because he felt Srikanth’s hands on either side of his face. Srikanth’s gaze locked on him, drinking in the sight he made; dripping sweat, wet eyes, mouth gaping dumbly in pleasure.

Srikanth made a noise that was equal parts pleasure and laughter.

“I know your kind can’t impregnate mine,” he said, insides clenching as a sly smile briefly graced his features. “But…I do love to see you so desperate to try.”

He gasped as Ranjit moaned and sped up. His hands fell away from his lover’s face, hovering and twitching in the air beside them. Ranjit broke his frantic pace to give a few quick, deep snaps of his hips; balls slapping against soaked scales. They had Srikanth crying out and letting his hands quickly descend onto Ranjit’s backside, using the point of contact as leverage to simultaneously pull Ranjit to him and buck up into his thrusts as the wild fucking resumed.

Any coherent words were lost on both of them for a long while; devolved to unabashed moans, desperate keens, feral growls, occasionally a name cried like a prayer.

Srikanth’s claws dug into the meat of his lover’s ass and Ranjit came from the sensation of one of them piercing, a small trickle of blood along with the sting of sweat on the wound. Just like before, he couldn’t seem to stop cumming; every minute or so he would be overtaken by that sweet, deep throbbing and thick pumps of cum wrenching from him to paint Srikanth’s walls. Frequently, he felt his lover coming apart; pulsing, clenching, milking another flood from him.

In a moment of brief respite, Ranjit slowed and happened to spy Srikanth’s abdomen, swollen slightly from the sheer amount of seed. It shouldn’t have been as arousing to him as it was, but it had him thrusting like mad again until his legs finally began to ache. He collapsed onto Srikanth’s heaving chest; buried deep, the copious venom keeping him erect and wanting despite his body failing him.

Ranjit panted, hips weakly twitching as Srikanth’s heart pounded against his ear. There was a heavy shifting sound somewhere close by. Something warm coiled around his waist—the long, thinner end of Srikanth’s tail. He turned pliant, letting himself be moved as Srikanth began to essentially use him as a toy, lifting his lower half and pressing it down. It was slower, and the thickness of the coil meant Ranjit couldn’t be fully buried inside, but it was enough for them both.

Ranjit wrapped his arms around Srikanth’s torso, fixated now on his lover’s scent and how their heartbeats seemed to sync. It was sweeter. Gentler. Matching the apparent fading of the venom’s effects. He still came several more times; gasps stuttering out of his raw throat with each orgasm, feeling Srikanth shudder and squeeze alongside him on a couple. Hands caressed his hair and back, accompanied by breathless praises.

“Good…so good for me.”

Eventually, Ranjit’s cock softened and Srikanth ceased moving him. Exhaustion caught up with him then, leaving him heavy and limp as he lay listlessly atop his lover’s body. His flesh still thrummed, pleasure shimmering over every inch of him. But it was somewhat overwhelming, his suddenly too-bright vision blurring in and out; he hid his face in Srikanth’s chest. An unfortunate after-effect of the venom, maybe? He felt the tail start to loosen and he tightened his arms in protest, unable to voice it beyond pathetic whining.

A quiet chuckle vibrated through him.

“Very well…we’ll give you a moment to come back. Perhaps I gave you too much for your first time.” Srikanth said, carding his fingers through dark, sweat-damp strands. The coil returned, firm but grounding. “I’m sorry…despite your faith in me, I admit I lost myself.”

Ranjit shook his head, extracting one of his arms to rest a hand on Srikanth’s bicep and give as reassuring of a squeeze as he can manage.

A contented sigh. “It was alright, then?”

“Mhm.”

More than alright, was what Ranjit wanted to say. He had certainly made enough of a mess of Srikanth’s slit to convey that. But he had to settle for an affirmative hum, basking in the feeling of his spent cock being cradled in that warm, still lightly-twitching passage. Cum and slick leaked out around him; they wouldn’t be able to sleep like that. But he could take a moment.

Srikanth’s voice stayed a comforting murmur.

“...Thank you,  jaanu.”

End

Masterlist

[hegodamask]

Okay, trying not to post too much of my face on here these days but please can I talk about Denise Gough for a second because!! I just! I..! 💀

She 100% made my Celebration. I very rarely do things like this because I get so nervous about embarrassing myself. But she was just so lovely in the short time I met her.

Full embarrassing ramble under the cut:

So the photo-op was a super quick in-and-out, but when Denise saw me she leaned in and said "great hair" before we took ours. So that was like whew. Okay! This is fine. This is fine.

I personally think this is why I have a slightly crazed expression in the original uncovered photo.

But when I came back later for the signing, the whole thing was nearly ruined by the badly-managed queues in the autograph hall. I'm not a regular con-goer, but it felt like the Excel just didn't have enough space for an event as big as Celebration this time around.

My dumb-ass accidentally queued with the VIPs and when I realised I was in the wrong line, a bunch of us got moved to an overflow queue on the other side of Denise's booth. We were there for ages and for a moment we were like "have they forgotten about us over here??"

But it was so worth it in the end. She recognised me from the photo-op earlier and was like "it's the lovely hair!" at which point I died again. She signed my Andor print with the "get on with it" quote and explained about how she came up with that line. Meanwhile I'm thinking "Yes, I know. I've read and watched every Andor interview you've ever done ilysm 😭��"

Initially, I wasn't going to give her one of my stickers. I was worried she wouldn't get it (apart from @sarcasmismydefaultmode and a nice lady I met in line for the Villains panel, the few other people I tried to give my SWAG to seemed a bit...confused.) But others ahead of me in line were giving her stuff, so when she'd finished signing my poster I just went for it and said "can I give you a sticker?"

And she was like "of course, I love presents!" I gave her the Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss one and I think she found it funny. I think she said something about seeing a video online of Dedra's girlboss moments.

Then she was like "do you want a pin?"

and I was like "yes please??" 😳😳😳 while mentally freaking out the whole time.

And then she gets out the Andor pin set which I'd already bought, but shh I'm not gonna say no to a pin from Denise Gough, am I??? and gives me the Dedra pin. There was a kid watching us, whose Dad was next in line. She said she would give the kid one too, but joked that he probably didn't want one of Dedra.

I took my pin and my poster and said "thank you so much, bye!" in the highest voice ever.

Then she blew me a kiss as I walked away and I died for the fourth time. 💀

I've had some mixed feelings about Celebration this year, but this was the highest of high points. I wish I could've said a little more to her, but I was super nervous (plus feeling very hungry, tired and hot by that point in the day) but I'm really grateful for the brief interaction we had!

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Ruggie Bucchi New Year's Attire Personal Story: Part 2

"You can only try it here!"

(Part 1) Part 2 (Part 3)

[Main Street]

Vil: I'll have to teach this insolent potato a lesson, it seems.

Cater: Ack! Vil-kun, control yourself!!

Ruggie: Cater-san, why're you trying to stop them? Now's our chance!

Ruggie: While Sebek-kun and Vil-san are havin' a falling out, let's keep on shovelin' the snow and get ahead of them!!

Cater: Th-That'd be great if we could! But escaping from these two lobbing snowballs at each other is practically impossible!!

Cater/Ruggie: Ouch!/Ow!

Ruggie: Ack, a stray ball came flying...!

Cater: Was that really just a snowball just now!? I swear it just curved and came right at me!?

Ruggie: I don't wanna just get all beaten down like this. Maybe we should also strike back...

Ruggie: ―Oh.

Cater: Hm? Why'd you pick up your shovel all of a sudden? Weren't you going to attack...?

???: Nheeheehee... How young and full of vigor you all are so early in the morning.

Cater: Eh?

Vil/Sebek: That voice... Sam!/Sam-san!

Ruggie: Hey c'mon, you guys know you shouldn't slack off and have a snowball fight when you shoulda been shoveling, right? You gotta be like me and work properly.

Cater: Wait, you were totally about to jump into the fray! Ruggie-kun, you changed your tune so fast!!

Sebek: I had no intention of abandoning this task set to me, I swear... I'm afraid I acted shamelessly.

Vil: I also let my anger go to my head... I shouldn't have done so here. This is something for me to reflect on.

Sam: It's all right! As long as the shoveling is done before the shop opens, everything will be fine.

Sam: That being said, I'm going to need you guys at your best to sell our merchandise and engage in ＨＡＧＯＩＴＡ battles, so it'd be great if you guys could reserve your strength for that.

Sam: I'll be at the store, then.

Ruggie: Whew... I'm glad he didn't say anything like, "I'm gonna dock your pay!"

Ruggie: 'Kay, everyone, let's get back to shoveling this snow.

Cater: Yeah! Shoveling the snow～ Shoveling the snow～

Sebek: I cannot believe that I would lose my composure over something so minor as snow falling on me...

Sebek: How careless... The only way to vent this frustrating feeling is to shovel it all away.

Sebek: RRRAAAAARGH!!! MOVE IT, SNOW!!!

Ruggie: Sebek-kun's shoveling has gotten so intense he's more like a snow plow than anything.

Vil: ...

Ruggie: Vil-san, you've been quite for a little while now... Didja get all tired from that fight with Sebek-kun?

Vil: As if. I wouldn't even consider that level of movement a warm-up.

Vil: A thought cross my mind when Sam said "ＨＡＧＯＩＴＡ battle."

Vil: You recall how our sales took a dip temporarily due to our non-stop winning streak?

Vil: Our customers all returned, thankfully, after we switched up how we would win against them. However...

Ruggie: Yeah, I guess he'd have a few thoughts about that as the owner of the store, even though it was only a short period of time.

Ruggie: Ah! You're not thinking...

Ruggie: If I can make up for the sales we lost, I'd be more than sure to definitely get my special bonus...!?

Vil: Yours? I'll be the one to win it. ...Although, speaking as someone currently employed here, I don't think it wouldn't be too terrible to think about how to help the shop.

Ruggie: True... What about if we give some other perk if they spend more than 5,000 Madol, rather than just challenging us to a battle?

Vil: That's not a bad idea. However, is there even anything that we'd be able to prepare at a moment's notice?

Ruggie: If it's gotta be something that's not gonna cost any money... What if we folded up some warthogs out of leftover wrapping paper?

Vil: I can't imagine the students at this school would be interested in that, let alone small children.

Ruggie: You're right, I just thought I'd throw it out there.

Ruggie: Hmm, isn't there anything that won't take too much time or money to set up...?

Ruggie: Ah! What about the chance to take a selfie with you, Vil-san?

Vil: Are you seriously trying to insinuate that taking a selfie with me would only be worth 5,000 Madol?

Ruggie: Nah, of course not, but maybe it could be more like a friend discount!

Vil: Rejected.

Ruggie: Tch. Then...

???: ―Aaaaaahh!!

Ruggie: !! What was the scream just now!? Hey, Cater-san's missing!

Cater: S-Someone help me～

Vil: There's a voice coming from that snowbank beside the tree...

Ruggie: That's probably definitely Cater-san under all that snow, isn't it.

Ruggie: Doesn't look like he can get out of there on his own, we should help him.

Vil: You're just causing more work for us, seriously.

Ruggie: You okay, Cater-san?

Cater: Thanks, you two, for getting me out from under all that snow～

Cater: Right when I was shoveling the snow by the tree, a huge pile of snow fell on top of me, I thought I was a goner.

Cater: Even though I saw the same thing happening to Sebek-kun just a little bit ago... I guess I wasn't being careful enough.

Ruggie: That was way more snow than what fell earlier. Took forever to dig you out of there...

Ruggie: AH!!!

Vil: What is it, Ruggie?

Ruggie: I had a great idea that'll help boost the New Year's Sale, and make our job easier.

(Part 1) Part 2 (Part 3)

[kyogre-blue]

White Clouds done for the first time. It took almost exactly 30 hours, whew.

I slowed down a bit toward the end because I started talking to every student in my class after Jeralt's death. They don't generally have much interesting to say, but I've hit the majority of available B ranks, so they've grown on me.

So, first, about this specific section. The escalation pace felt a bit fast though not necessarily in a bad way. It's just that the rest of the year had drip fed relevant info at such a comparatively slow rate that the last few month felt kinda crazy. Crazy villagers! Students turning into monsters! Jeralt dies! Byleth almost dies and merges with Sothis! Edelgard is the Flame Emperor and invading now! Bam, timeskip.

I think there is something to be said about this kind of pre-war period to help build up the characters and relationships before we get to the juicy part, but 30 hours of doing what I'd consider a fairly average amount of stuff is kind of a lot to hit what would be the inciting incident of older FE games. The calendar did not help with the pacing issues for sure.

Aside from that, I think we've gotten all the Byleth-related lore we're gonna get for a good while, and I spent a fair amount of time trying to ponder out what Rhea thinks is going on and what she wants to happen to Byleth. She talks about Byleth regaining their lost memories, which makes it seem like she considers them to be amnesiac Sothis, but she also refers to them as a vessel that will become one with the power within them, thus resurrecting Sothis...? It's really unclear what she thinks of the current Byleth, what she thinks will happen concretely, and how this would affect Byleth as an individual.

However, all this discussion only takes place AFTER Solon, so Sothis and Byleth have already merged. Byleth not only came out on top (albeit presumably based on Sothis's decision that it be so), but the first thing post timeskip text scroll is Sothis talking to you again, so it seems like the merger aspect might not even be the end of the subsumed personality.

The main point being, Byleth is not really in danger from anything except Rhea potentially reacting badly if we reveal that Sothis is gone. And since her actual aims are so unclear, it's hard to feel any particular concern or unease at that point. As a budding Rhea apologist, I wish we could had had more elaboration on this storyline.

As for White Clouds as a whole...

The pacing really is a mess. And while playing through once can be considered a reasonable experience, I do not enjoy the idea of doing it every single branch, especially with how little variation there seems to be. Up until Remire or so, what would even be different except the supports? And since you can recruit anyway.... Not great, to put it mildly.

It's unfortunate, because I think the calendar and monastery base could be have provided very good worldbuilding and immersion, but they just did not have enough put into them, whether because the developers did not understand how to use them, did not focus on this aspect enough, or did not have the time/budget to realize their vision. The calendar is very poorly laid out and too bare aside from repetitive grinding in the middle of the month, the explorable areas do not change according to seasons, making the calendar feel tacked on, etc. Just a lot of presentational shortcomings.

Liveblogging notes:

Kinda forgor what happened since Jeralt bit it because I took a few days break.

Well, regardless of the mission I forgot, I do recall Kronya got offed by her own ally, which was funny but kind of useless? I didn't really feel anything.

And then Solon had Byleth "swallowed by the mystical darkness of a forbidden spell." I guess if you can't deal with a problem (the protagonist), just yeet them into the void.

Lysithea shows no particular reaction to Solon, and neither does Flayn. I guess they're speaking generic lines here, which can go to practically any team member who is still alive to say them.

Everyone quite underreacts to the situation tbh. Claude's canned animations are very funny to see here.

Sothis speculates that Byleth was emotionless because of her. Presumably because she was still asleep until the start of the game, so Byleth, who is connected to her, was not entirely "awake" either?

It's kind of funny that Sothis calls herself a progenitor god but also the one who watches over Fodlan and all its creatures. But this world explicitly has more than just Fodlan. There's Almyra and other lands as well... Usually, the FE games are on separated continents specifically to avoid these questions.

The stuff Sothis says about needing to relinquish her power to you because she doesn't have a body... doesn't she directly possess Byleth in Hopes?

Sothis's soul with join with Byleth's, which I guess means Byleth does have their own soul.

The visuals somehow... feel so dated, it's weird.

Solon seems to not have realized that Byleth IS Sothis before this.

Seteth snuck a peak at Jeralt's diary too?? man, no privacy or respect for the dead. Interesting that Seteth has been so unsettled by Rhea's shenanigans that he's gone behind her back to investigate.

Rhea seems to think Sothis will revive through you for reals?

The monastery was built over the Holy Tomb, where Sothis sleeps... so they left her sleeping a ways from Zanado, where they lived, which is interesting.

This entire scene is hilarious if you know everyone's identities. Rhea is spouting pure nonsense about Seiros while being Seiros, and Seteth who knows all this and is in full doubt mode still has to go along with it.

Claude just directly eavesdrops on your meeting with Rhea? lmao

According to Cyril, Almyra is all plains and sky. Also has a city.

Ignatz just casually goes "let's go to Almyra after the war :D" Which is... Uh. Interesting that this doesn't present any travel concerns, but also what war

Imperial Army invades the Holy Tomb, wanting to take the Crest Stones there... But whose crest stones are they? I think dragons can traditionally create more than one dragonstone, but I'm not sure how crest stones function. I'm asking because it's unclear how many dragons there actually were. We have murals with the 10-something that have specific crests (who do not otherwise belong to any unified group, btw), but those crest stones would largely be accounted for, so were there other dragons too?

Also, not entirely sure what Rhea was expecting to happen. It doesn't seem like she directly expects you to get replaced by Sothis? My best guess is she expects Sothis to awaken (memories intact) and speak to you, but she doesn't know amnesia Sothis was already awake and is now gone...?

Suddenly, Edelgard

Edelgard's big invasion speech is hilariously propaganda. Ah yeah, Seteth and Rhea sure do want rule the world. Seteth is a grumpy but well meaning man, and Rhea has consistently cared about misuse of Relics/Crest Stones and Byleth and.... basically nothing else.

Also, this is not a subtle game. They want you to know Tomas is sus? Boy, they will make sure you know it. So Edelgard going "they divided the Kingdom and the Alliance from the Empire" "they live in extravagance by exploiting the masses"... NONE of this has ever been even slightly supported. There's nothing particularly extravagant about the monastery, and we have never even heard of people paying tithe. And while the Kingdom and Alliance history was mentioned somewhere, the Church was never brought up in association.

No one among the Deer students has anything to say about Edelgard's speech, just concern about this being a war. There's not even a hint that anyone thinks she's right lol

Seteth directly says that Edelgard is out to conquer the continent. His first thought after confirmation of the invasion is to have the surrounding villages evacuate.

OK, Rhea thinks Byleth's "lost memories" are beginning to return and that they've guessed "the truth of who they are." She says she has acted as "the proxy" for "Byleth." But to Seteth, she describes Byleth as a "vessel" and in time, the vessel will become one with the power within, at which point the progenitor god will return to this world. It's not entirely clear what she thinks of Byleth as an individual. She asks Seteth to "help our friend and in doing so, help her." So Byleth is a friend, but... they mention stuff like Flayn owing her life to Byleth and that Byleth may prove to be "their brethren"... Really hard to parse what they think is going to happen, specifically.

But since Sothis has already merged with Byleth and Byleth is obviously fine, there's not really anything to fear from this. It can't really read as ominous when the merging has already happened lol Edelgard supposedly spent the entire year gathering her forces at the monastery, speaking them in disguised as merchants and pilgrims.

Funny how all the Empire students are chilling at the monastery, telling us how their fathers and such are supporting Edelgard. Good thing we're too nice to take them hostage or something.

Sitri 1139 - 1159, Jeralt ?? - 1180. I guess we're in 1181 now...? Hang on, it's the 3rd month. Holy Tomb was 2nd month. Sothis merger would have been first month. So Jeralt death was 12th month of previous year, right?

It's cute how Claude says he'll always be on Byleth's side. Tbh I think the story would benefit from being able to highlight his ride or die side more. But since Byleth has very little direction in their own story, it ends up being more about Claude's ambitions.

Who the heck are Randolph and Ladislava

This music is very cool tho

The monastery walls are hella tall? Wow

I'm not sure what to make of this angle of Rhea leaving the monastery and the Church to Byleth.

Rhea just body slams the invading army.

The masked black beasts are creepy. Masks are a control mechanism, I suppose.

Byleth gets bodied by Thales lol. Where did this pit even come from

And that's that! The Unification of Fodlan has begun.

[lightrises]

"Only in allowing her to pass..." — Hornet, The Radiance, and the means by which Hallownest turned its victims against each other

A quick note: I read Hollow Knight as an anti-colonialist text. As such I'll be touching on topics related to colonialism as it's depicted in the world of the game, and said analysis will reflect both a sympathetic take on The Radiance and a critique of The Pale King that won't pull its punches. If this sounds up your alley, hello and thank you for the read! Let us be sad about these bugs together.

———

So!! A while back I realized something about pre-canon that felt rather... "curious" is one way to put it, I think. To wit: for all the effort and scheming and determination The Pale King poured into trying to get rid of The Radiance, neither of his plans involved directly killing her.

Was that his long game? Well, sure, that seems clear enough. His tack changed from luring the moths away from their god and creator to a more literal form of incarceration once the infection became a factor, but at its core the end goal never really changed—The Pale King very sincerely wished to destroy Radiance via obsolescence. The Seer lends us foreshadowing to confirm as much:

[Image descriptions: Two screenshots from Hollow Knight, showing the Seer and Ghost in the Seer's alcove at the Resting Grounds. Across both screenshots, the Seer tells Ghost the following: "None of us can live forever, and so we ask those who survive to remember us. Hold something in your mind and it lives on with you, but forget it and you seal it away forever. That is the only death that matters." End description.]

(Which, by the way and given the context, talk about an extremely unsubtle allusion to cultural genocide huh!!! Whew.)

In any case, we're left with a whole bunch of machinations which build up to... well, two very roundabout attempts at committing deicide. That's kind of weird, all things considered! Why not just do the deed in one fell swoop and get it over with?

This could be for any number of reasons. Maybe the king was devoid of the means to instantly kill another higher being. Maybe his personal sense of scruples stopped him short of signing off on MURDER murder (although, y'know, the aforementioned genocide + eternal imprisonment = still cool and copasectic apparently!). Maybe the long drawn-out cruelty was the point. Maybe the idea of playing fuckign 4D chess with the circumstances was too delicious for him to pass up—that man did love to tinker and stick his claws where they sure as hell didn't belong—or maybe it was a little bit of All The Things. Who knows!!

But interrogating The Pale King's methodology on this count isn't what I'm here for, at least not really. The main reason I raise this question at all is that in her own way, Hornet did too.

"I'd urge you to take that harder path... "

See, going by The Pale King's actions and what The White Lady explicitly says, they both foresaw two outcomes wrt the infection: it can be allowed to spread, or it can be contained. At Teacher's Archives, Quirrel acknowledges the fact that Ghost is expected to do... something about this, but he doesn't elaborate on what HE thinks that's supposed to be apart from the obvious "Gotta bust into Black Egg Temple first". Hornet is the one person who presents to us—to Ghost—what's framed as a third option: confront and destroy the infection at its source.

And she doesn't bring it up like it's just another tactic for Ghost to consider, prim and indifferent to what they would do. She nudges them towards it, actively, up to the point where she throws herself into the fray against Hollow at a juncture that's uniquely dangerous to her and her alone just to make that option feasible.

Even when she's couching it in disclaimers that this is still Ghost's decision to make (and let's be fair, she's extremely not wrong about that lol), no one can pretend Hornet is unbiased. It's obvious in that buttoned-down Hornet kind of way that she is way the hell done with the increasingly tenuous stalemate that's kept Hallownest's desiccated corpse from collapsing in on itself. Personally it's hard for me not to read some Toriel Undertale-esque "My father was too entrenched in his own foolishness to pursue any course of action that would have DEFINITIVELY ended this" shade into her stance here, regardless of whether that's strictly true in canon.

And that bit—Hornet's hopes for an end to Hallownest's stasis, moreover her grim calculation of what needs to be done to get there—that's the bit I find super interesting but likewise tragic and depressing as shit, on multiple levels. In no small part because a) canon itself gestures towards Hornet feeling conflicted about the very plan she's pushing, and moreover b) she has at least two (2) damn good reasons to feel that way.

So, what do I mean by that? Let's look here first:

[Image description: A screenshot from Hollow Knight, of Hornet and Ghost inside the Temple of the Black Egg, standing in front of the unsealed egg itself. Hornet has been struck by the Dream Nail and her dialogue is displayed as follows: "... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?" End description.]

As the curtain is about to drop on things one way or another, Hornet thinks,

... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?

Now, looking at that last bit it's easy to go "Oh no, Hornet's worried that Ghost won't survive killing The Radiance!" And I do think that's part of it: Hornet is, categorically, not her father. By endgame it's clear she's not content to view her Void-borne siblings as tools to be used then disposed of. She's also well aware that as a healthy autonomous Vessel amongst the countless dead, Ghost is the only person left alive who has a fighting chance against The Radiance. Knowing someone is the only qualified candidate for the job doesn't make encouraging them to embrace a probable death sentence any less of a bitter pill to swallow, though. And odds are on that this sentiment extends to Hollow too, who IS going to die no matter what happens here. To put it bluntly, it's more than reasonable to conclude that Hornet hates the absolute fuck out of this.

But I don't think that's all there is to it either. Remember what I said earlier about The Pale King's bids for genocide? Well, it's not like the man deigned to limit his efforts to just the moth tribe.

"We do not choose our mothers... "

On top of everything else—an infected Hallownest being all she's ever known, the fact that she only exists because of the infection, the list goes on—Hornet has spent her life wedged into a position that's been uncomfortable and terminally unglamorous at best: she is both a daughter of her father's kingdom and of Deepnest.

Deepnest, which like the moths and many others was here long before the wyrm and his lady wife swanned onto the scene and the God Become Bug laid claim to everything the Light touched plus a considerable amount of change. THAT Deepnest, which has fought claw and thread to retain its sovereignty against same-said settler king, and for which Herrah not only surrendered her life but also agreed to bed her worst enemy, all in hopes of securing a viable future for her people (put a pin in that last part by the way, I'll come back to it soon).

Two Worlds, One Family (Ft. An Indigenous Woman Trying Her Damndest To Work With What She's Got Versus An Imperialist Who Only Signed Up For This Because He Needed The Political Favor THAT Badly, So It's The Height Of Dysfunctional Actually). Fun times!!!!

The baggage this entails for Hornet is gnarly enough without implications made by The White Lady and the pre-canon timeline of events and even Team Cherry's dev notes that the king may well have looked at baby Hornet, gone "YOINK", then ensured she spent the lion's share of her childhood reared within the pearly auspices of his Pale Court*. That would be rather advantageous for Him Specifically after all, the potential to mold a born foe into a future ally and even have her trained in combat under the same tutelage as her doomed sibling. And far be it from him to stop a grown Hornet—his own flesh and blood too!—from making Deepnest her forever home if she so pleased. He totally wouldn't be reneging on his "fair bargain made" by doing this one simple thing until Hornet came of age, not t e c h nic c a l l y.

If that is indeed the case, there's a non-zero chance Hornet's formative years were a hot mess of cultural alienation and being a good deal more privy than most to just how much of a bastard her father could be. There's an equally non-zero chance that at some point she stood or sat within earshot as The Pale King finally, finally dropped all pretense and euphemism to name the Light for precisely what (for who) it was.

See, in conjunction with the question that started this whole dang train of thought I've been asking this one too: Does Hornet know? When she speaks of confronting "the heart of [the] infection" does she know she's talking about not just a literal person but someone very specific? The Radiance, who god though she may be shares skin in the game alongside Hornet as a native woman screwed over by the same settler king, likewise deprived of her kin and saddled with a life gone horrendously pear-shaped?

I'll assume for the sake of exploring the possibility and because I think it's a likely one anyway that yes, Hornet does know. She knows, and despite everything can't help empathizing. She might even look at Radiance and see bits and pieces both reflected and slightly inversed in her own mother: Radiance was forced to the sidelines while her people—her children, the brood she was meant to lead and care for—died out under The Pale King's rule, and it's no stretch to assume she's at least as upset about that as she has been about everything else; Herrah too took drastic measures for her people's sake, trying to head off annihilation by relegating herself to the sidelines in an act that was as much calculated risk as an attempt to find wiggle room and leverage in the face of a nasty proposition.

A calculated risk that, if things continue as they are, might well amount to nothing as the rest of Deepnest gets eaten alive by the infection. It survived The Pale King's advances for so so long, only to fall here. Herrah's sacrifice would be for naught; the other tribes—themselves the king's victims—would keep succumbing to the infection too.

And this is where things fall apart.

"... or the circumstance into which we are born."

Let's be clear: I think Hornet is wise enough to know what's what here, that all the carnage and suffering falls on her father's head for starting this slow-motion trainwreck in the first place. Hallownest wasn't always Hallownest. This domain was Radiance's home first, along with many others. It was the worm-turned-king who rolled up on the scene unsolicited and decided this was a ""'problem""" that had to be """solved""".

But the fact of the matter is that he's gone and The Radiance is here, raging, seemingly inconsolable. Above and beyond being Deepnest's rightful heir, Hornet isn't in a position to countenance more splash damage even if the grief and fury fueling it makes perfect sense. She can understand without ever bringing herself to love Radiance, and she can bend her knee to practicality even if she hates the everloving shit out of it because the fact that it "has" to end this way isn't fair.

This lends itself to one last awful conclusion: that Hornet has probably considered and (rightly or wrongly) discarded the possibility that Radiance can be saved, at least not without dragging more collateral along for the ride. If even her mother and every other enemy to the king seemed to dismiss talking Radiance down as an option way back when... well. Why should Hornet hope for any better after things have escalated so far?

Again, it's practical. A practical net good is what Hornet strives for. And again, it fucking sucks.

For extra tragedy points, this makes Hornet's extended crypticness around Ghost followed by her last minute casting about for a reason to tell them "Wait, don't; not just yet" that she never voices even more of a gut punch. She can't bring herself to burden Ghost with the context that haunts her so, least of all when it might weaken their resolve to go through with what (she thinks) needs doing.

It's the "same song, different verse" which led to the mantis tribe and Deepnest being pitted against each other: Hallownest rigged the game so that two women who could have been powerful allies—who have a mutual vested interest in driving out settler rule—wound up poised as enemies instead. And how awful is that? The king for all his being extremely fucking dead still gets the last laugh, because outside of a miracle the game never manifests Hornet can salvage what her mother started and look forward to a future where Deepnest pulls itself back from the brink if and only if The Radiance dies.

Resolution comes at the price of a completed genocide. Add two more dead siblings to the unconscionable pile thereof, while we're at it. That's what it boils down to whether or not Hornet can bear to articulate it as such, and there's no grace or even a properly bittersweet ending to wring from this clusterfuck. And that is rough.

———

* This has been better explained elsewhere, but a quick rundown: The White Lady tells Ghost that Hornet and Herrah "were permitted little time together." On its surface this can be taken to mean that Hornet was still very young when Herrah was shipped off to Eternal Dreamland—except this doesn't jive with the fact that we meet Hornet as an adult. If the stasis kicked in once the Dreamers went to their rest, which in turn halted the aging process for every living bug in Hallownest, AND before all this Hornet experienced little by the way of quality time with her birth mother... I think you can see where I'm going with this.

To top it off we've got Team Cherry weighing in ominously from their dev notes on Herrah: "As part of the agreement for her alliance and her role as a dreamer, King gave her a child (Hornet). Was she allowed to keep this child or was she taken away?" This isn't confirmation by itself of course, but given additional canon details (see above): Can I get a "yikes" in the chat fellas.

[caranfindel]

Walker 1.17

Here we are at episode 17. No recap but plenty of random comments. And some blurry caps.

Oh no. A debate. And I'm watching on the app so I can't skip it. Oh, the horror.

Doesn't seem like Cordell would be tasked with driving either of these candidates. Don't they have someone who has a connection to neither of them?

Trey's mom is such a contrast to Micki's mom. That's going to be an interesting wedding reception.

If Trey’s mom isn't staying with them, why didn't she leave her suitcase in the car? (Oh, maybe she took a cab.)

Richard Speight! \o/ Can we thank him for the pretty tonight?

This seems like a Significant Moment when Micki gets her gun out of that chest. (Spoiler alert: it's not.)

Whew! Thank goodness for the bomb threat. I almost had to sit through the debate.

I think the most important thing in this episode is going to be Jared's curls peeking out under his cowboy hat. It must have been awfully humid in Austin that week.

I mean. Come on.

Cow! (Too obscure?)

Wolverines! (Too obscure?)

Remember what I said about not needing bad Photoshopped photos?

Why did they use pictures of Jared as a 30-year-old? I know there are teen photos out there.

Ah, we've answered the question of what time of year this is supposed to be. Thank you, Walker.

That's two mentions of Rebecca Ferguson. Foreshadowing or red herring?

You know, my kid’s high school doesn't give out yearbooks at the end of the school year any more. You have to come back and get it in the spring. I don't like it.

Is this chick Ruby, or was the other chick Ruby? Anyway, she is up to no good. Parents out of town indeed!

Some of this music sounds just like the music they made fun of on Supernatural. Like, the Dr. Sexy MD music.

Why doesn't Micki just kick Travis's gun away. (Was Stella's thug boyfriend named Travis? I can't ever remember.) Also, this Travis reminds me of Ash.

So, what's the difference between police and Rangers? Are rangers like sheriffs and deputies, or state highway patrol, or what?

Hmmm, Geri really started paying attention when Cordell said he was going to talk to the guy who falsely confessed to killing his wife. Almost like she has a vested interest in this or something.

This Ruby chick is really up to no good.

Why is this reporter being dumped at the Walker ranch?

Oooh, Stan is the bad guy! Despite his white hat! Don't hit the reporter, Stan! It's pretty much guaranteed to get you bad press! Oh no. Oh no no no. Right before the election, accidentally killing a reporter? Bad look, friend. I guess it's pretty convenient that the reporter didn't drive himself, though, because there would be a car to get rid of.

Well, I thought this deathbed confession was going to involve Geri, not Stan!

But seriously, these curls.

Stan washing his hands. Out, out, damned spot! I hope you thought to delete that reporter's recording.

Oh, you saw Grandpa taking a pill? Look, Stan, old people take pills. It could have been ibuprofen for all you know.

Enough with Becca Ferguson already!

Shouldn't these guys be doing some last-minute electioneering? Pressing the flesh?

Anyway. I’ve been a little snarky about most of this episode, but then we get to this last bit. And friends, it gently caresses my buttons and whispers sweet nothings into their ear and then pushes them. Hard.

First, is Stan literally going to try to kill Cordell on the road? And claim it was an accident? Oh, no, wait, that ain't Stan.

This rollover seen from the inside is actually pretty good, especially since it ends with hurt Jared. Thank you, Richard Speight. You know how to make our boy look good.

Hello my name is caranfindel and I have a problem.

Karli is right, Stella, your dad is fucking hot!

Now he’s being forced to dig a hole. Are they going to bury him with the reporter? How long would it take one man to dig this hole? Have y'all not heard of a shallow grave? (I know, everything's bigger in Texas.)

Hello, Bigger.

You know, if anyone ever held a gun to my head and made me dig my own grave, I'd just lie down and say "shoot me now." But Cordell is obviously the kind of guy who’s going to stay alive and come up with a way out of this.

Then Cordell does this amazing thing where, when the guy holding the gun is distracted, he hits him with the shovel, grabs his gun, shoots the other guy, and then grabs the first guy, pulls him close, and shoots him point blank. It's glorious. Unfortunately, it's impossible to get a cap, and I can't find gifs on Tumblr.

I tried, though.

He's also fucking hot holding a gun on his former buddy. And luckily our friend @jaredwalkertexasranger did capture this in gif form.

Mmmmm...

Is this the first time we’ve seen Cordell kill anybody? I didn’t watch the first few eps so I could have missed it.

And what do we think he is going to do with Stan once he gets him in the car? Drive him off to an even more secluded location and put a bullet in his brain? Nah. If he was going to do that, he could have done it right here at this convenient hole. I think he's taking him in, no matter what he said.

Also, Geri is still involved, right?

[chaotichuman0090]

"His safest place" | Kayden Vescovi x Josephine Everhart

A/n: YESSS it's finally here!!!! My first fic! 🥳🥳 Well it was done a while ago (after a lot of planning), but I'm posting it now because I finally have some spare time and space lmao.😅

That being said, I didn't expect it to be so long (no pun intended). I should've probably split it in two parts but eh...

It's been a nice experience. Might do it again sometimes. I'd also prescribe a dose of Kayden to everyone here. I mean, just take a look at him.... *whew* 🥵

Oh, by the way, tell me if you catch any mistakes or weird typos, please. (english is my second language so I might get things wrong sometime).

This is set a few months after the end of the book.

Pairing: Kayden Vescovi - MC (Josephine Everhart) | The Royal Masquerade |

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Vonberry is the name I gave to my dear bear cub, bless him! 🧡

Words: 3370

Warnings: N*FW content (basically the whole second part, no pressure; almost smut at the end of the first part too. Almost because... I just thought it would be too much for a first attempt)

Tagging: @walkerswhiskeygirl @masquerade-reimagined @kayann9

P.s. Thank you guys for your support!! I appreciate it and it helped a lot! Sorry to keep you waiting though..

I can't wait to hear what you think of this. Big hugs!

If you'd like to be tagged in future let me know!

Okay. Enjoy!!!

Annalisa paced the outside of Josephine's house, growing slightly unpatient, yet still feeling overjoyed at the thought of seeing her sister after so long.

It was well past noon when she arrived after a whole day journey. It didn't took much for her to take matter into her own hands and went to see how she's doing.

And today was a day she was looking forward to.

She scowled at herself and leaned her back against the railing and examined the little garden in front of her. Last time she had seen her sister was after King Fabian's coronation.

When she finally felt like she had enough of wating she decided to go inside, leaving the door open on her way in.

The sweet, delicious smell of fresh baked goods instantly reaches her nose as she quickly moved closer, she heard the faint sound of Josephine's voice and stops into the doorway without announcing herself yet.

"Vonberry, I told you before, you are not allowed in when I'm baking, you little... oh.." Josephine looked behind and stopped abruptly. It was safe to say she was taken aback by the person in front of her.

"Annalisa?"

She didn't have enough time to react as her sister enveloped her in a big hug that reminded them both of all the moments they've spent together at the Everhart estate.

"What... what are you doing here?" She stammered on her words, her eyes glossy and full of emotions accompanied by a big smile on her face.

"Well, forgive me for wanting to see how my dear sister is doing." Annalisa remarked quickly, puling back from the hug."I only hope you missed me just as much."

"You know what I mean." Josephine said, looking fondly at her.

"I suppose you've been quite busy."she said, looking around the messy room, with a grin on her face. There was flour and pastries of all kinds spread on the counter.

"I think I had spent all morning here."Josephine let out a long breath, the corner of her mouth curled upwards.

"Did you came all the way here alone?"She asked her sister, surprised.

"I did not came here on a fancy carriage with two white horses and dozens of sevrants anyway, if that's what you're asking." Annalisa stated with a lightly amused tone, expresing how giddy she felt about their reunion.

"I always knew you had an odd sense of humor". Josephine's eyes glimmered, matching the smirk in the corner of her mouth.

Their sweet joyful laugh echoed through the halls, in the whole house. Josephine decided to finish her task later, before joining her sister at the table, proceed on serving a cup of tea and carried on with the conversation.

"So, tell me, how did you adapt to your new life? And Kayden?" The question gained Annalisa a funny look and a quiet snort. To her disbelief she continued ..."He better treat you well or so help me-"

"Of course he does. He's... a dream come true" Josephine responded quickly, reminiscing about their wonderful, precious memories together, with a soft smile plastered on her face the whole time.

" I know, sister. I was merely joking." An easy smile replacing her previous frown.

"Anyone can see it on his face. He loves you with all his being. He would give his life only for you to be happy. It's a strong love. It's unbreakable." Annalisa said while looking her in the eyes.

"Speaking of which," Josephine spoke after a small pause. "I presume things are going well with Percival." She looked up, raising a brow, a teasing smile on her lips.

"Oh, you know how self-restraint he can be sometimes," Annalisa declared nonchalantly, "But we balance each other, since I'm an excellent lover, so to speak." She remarked with a grin, nodding proudly to herself.

A brief utterly childlike laugh escaped Josephine's lips, dissolving soon into a fit of laughter and her sister followed her soon.

"You're a breath of fresh air, Annalisa!" She said with a shake of her head.

The truth was she couldn't wait to spend the rest of the day in the company of her dear sister, catching up after long time away.

After Annalisa left, Josephine began preparing diner for her and Kayden, deciding on a delicious roasted chicken over a bed of fresh, hearty vegetables.

Everything was done by the time Kayden arrived home and she carefully put the meal on a tray with legs, picking out a few baked rolls as well, and took them to the table.

Needless to say the food tasted delicious as usuall, the rich aroma of the dish making her mouth water.

They ate in comfortable silence, listening to the wind gusting through the tree branches outside.

He watched her pick a small piece of meat off with her fingers and pop it into her mouth, chewing slowly.

A sweet smile reached her lips as she looked up at him, watching his hand that is holding the wine glass while picking at the food in his plate.

"I can tell your mind is full of busy thoughts without reading it. How can I help?" Josephine asked with evident concern, placing her hand on top of his.

Kayden looked down at their hands and mumbled something inchoerent, then cleared his throat.

He gave a quick shrug as a response while keeping his eyes on the table, looking lost in thoughts.

Slowly, he stood, and rounded the table to her, offering his hand. After a few moments she took it and he helped her stand but didn't go anywhere.

"Dance with me?" The question left his lips hesitantly, almost like he tried to restain his desire.

She agreed, allowing him to twirl her around, soon developing into a mix of passion and heavy, graceful footsteps without the steady drum of music.

They moved together, her arched back over a bridge of emotions, relishing the way their breath quicken with each step, feet guiding them across the floor, spinning, dibs, slow sways and more.

They danced for a while, the candlelight flickering shadows across the room. Nither of them said anything, feeling content with the silence.

Kayden was holing her, but not the way he held her the first time they danced, months ago, or even after that. He didn't hold her like she was his saving grace, his light in a world of darkness. Instead he held her softly and sweetly like they've been lovers for years. Like she was his safest place.

Josephine held him back that way, as she imagined a wife would hold her husband, lovingly, wrapping her arms tighter around him, closing her eyes and leaning in to rest her head on his chest.

Kayden welcomed her embrace, holding her tighter as well.

Their pace slowed and they stayed in one place , moving as only seemed natural.

"I love how we're always in perfect sync". Josephine said with a small smile playing on her lips.

Kayden did not reply to her straight away, instead he debates on a way to express his next words.

"With all the time I spent working these past few days," he continued carefully "I neglected you."

"Forgive me." Kayden's voice sounded tense and concerned for a moment; he looked deeply into her eyes, before kissing the top of her head.

"You need a break you know" Josephine gave a quiet sigh then raised on her tip toes to give him a delicate kiss filled with desire and devotedness, her hands sliding from his jaw to his hair, lips not breaking apart as their emotions took hold on them.

"I am taking a break now and... plainly wishing you would join me in our room later." His breathless, husky voice was close to her ear now, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

"Careful, Kayden. I might just keep you there for good." Josephine went on, waiting for a reaction from him. Kayden just raised an eyebrow at her and smiled subtly.

"Or perhaps I have planed to spend my night with a new book." She teased , exchanging a smile with him.

"I don't believe that even for a moment." He murmured in a deep and low voice, his warm breath close to her forehead.

The two of them were aware of the unconditional love they held for each other. They whisperd it with each glance of their eyes and each brush or their lips.

Kayden was open now. He told her many things, stories of his life when he was a child, growing up at the Vescovi estate, as his father son, still unsuitable for that also. He told her how that place became devoid of any significance, of life, as he grew older and more resentful by it every day.

Josephine understood that he'd been spurred on by whispers of untold secrets and the unmistakable feeling of guilt and inadequacy resting on his shoulders for too long.

It brought her back to the realization that he was still haunted by old pains. Things that happened in the past that he'll never get over. She couldn't bear to watch that pain flood his eyes, not again. It would not be the reason it came back again.

But she knew well that whatever was holding him back before, would not hold him back from now on. In a whole chaotic and nosy world, they managed to find each other. She swore to cherish every moment she has by his side.This world has already lost its magic for some, that she knew.

Spine tingling sansations, carrying so much emotion that she believed they'd had both gotten enough, still they find themselves observing the backside of his palm reaching out to the surface of her neck, under her ear before leaning forward to place a few more kisses and soft bites. Truthfully, she was unable to find the right words, her whole body burning with passion as she felt a flooding urge in other hidden places, that Kayden was well aware of.

"You've had a long day too. What is absolutely necessary right now is a... foot massage." His tone making it plain he meant more than he said."I believe that would be rather satisfying."

That sounded more like a promise, she thought.

She hummed in agreement, followed by a short laugh, her head hiden in the crock of his neck.

"I'm glad you find me amusing" Kayden quipped instantly. Not waiting for another response, he lowered her in a graceful dip, her long hair now swaying close to the floor.

Josephine can only stare up into those impossibly beautiful brown eyes, watching with bated breath as they morph into her own, seeing their entire future layed out.

Kayden pulls her back with him squeezing her hands gently before releasing them and took a step back. His eyes lingered on her with anticipation of his next words.

He was tall, ethereal, intimidating and formidable to her.

"Take off your dress!" said Kayden, his voice soft but demanding, nodding to her simple thin red dress that she had on.

Josephine starts to strip the material off her skin, taking her time, while silently enjoying his half-lidded eyes still gazing hungrily over her. Upon seeing the way he was looking at her sent shivers down her spine.

Soon after she's done and left only in her undergarments, Kayden moves closer to her and brushed the hair from her face, sweeping all of it over one shoulder before gripping it in a strong fist like he can't hold back anymore.

He crashed his lips down on hers, his hands burried withing the strands of hair, urging her towards him. His other hand pressed at the small of her back and drew her closer, just as he angled his head to kiss her deeper, mingling their scents along with their lips.

Josephine felt like she was losing not only her footage but also her mind. She griped onto his broad shoulders, trying to get even closer, if that was possible.

He hummed something against her that got drowned in a kiss, but whatever he wanted to say was not important, she gathered as his lips moved down to her neck, tracing the pulse pounding against her skin with his tongue. A soft moan found its way out of her parted lips as Kayden firmly gripped her waist, trailing kisses down the exposed skin along the way, making her back arch up.

He took a moment to let her breath and, with a quick movement, tossed his shirt to the side,while she starts undoing the buttons of his trousers, letting them drop to the floor.

They stumbled carelessly around, heading for the bed, Kayden letting them both fall onto the soft matress. Their limbs were entangled together, under the warm quilts of the bed, hidden from sight; it was a special moment which only they were witness to.

_________________________________________

It was well past midnight when Josephine woke up suddenly, sensing the coolness of the room that was illuminated only by the starlight and the bright moon through the tiny window, casting them in blue shadows. She turned around in bed and sat still, rubbing her eyes and blinking slowly and just laid there wondering what cound have interrupted her sleep this early but did not ponder over it too much.

Shortly after, she found herself musing on the unforgettable events from last night, blood rushing to her cheeks at the thought. Looking over at Kayden who was still sleeping soundlessly next to her, his lower body covered by the blanket and his arm draped over her side of bed.

She had a crooked, sleepy grin on her face and brought her hand up to his face, touching his lower lip with the tip of her finger.

She was looking at him in awe, taking in the smoothness of his features illuminated by the moonlight. Kayden. Her Kayden.

After a few moments of deliberation she moved carefully, not to disturbe him, and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips.

Gently touching his cheek, she ever so slightly brushed her lips against his jaw. Of course he was too deep in his sleep to notice but it made her heart dance.

She then began nipping at his ear lobe, softly, with just a right hint of passion, then worked her way back, trailing lingering kisses from his stubbled jaw to his neck, down to his defined collarbone.

Josephine's hands travel from his chest down to the taut muscles of his stomach, sliping lower, caressing him through the material of his briefs and he harden further beneath her touch.

She could feel his arousal where she was straddling him as she pressed down on his hips, and it sent a bolt of heat straight to her core. She drew a slow, careful breath and her hands tightened around his shoulders.

A grunt slipped out of his parted lips, the sound matching the dark look in his now open eyes. He always found appealing that lascivious yet lovely look on her.

He lifted his hips, pressing his hardness against her and Josephine sighed and instinctively rolled her hips against him in return. Kayden hissed against her lips and his hands moved down, holding her tightly to him as he repeated the action.

Kayden kept his eyes closed momentarily and he took a deep breath, and then his eyes opened. Holding her gaze he rolled her on her back in a swift movement and pinned her beneath him before grabbing her face and slammed his lips to her.

This kiss was almost explosive, with the way they’d been teasing each other all day, and she moaned when Kayden nibbled on her lower lip before he dragged his mouth down her neck to the sensitive spot there. She practically melted against him, and she felt him smile against her as he tugged at her skin with his teeth, then lavished the spot with his lips and tongue.

Shifting his body and lowering his head, he circles her nipple with his tongue before tugging gently with his teeth, heaving her instantly whimper softly and arching into him.

"Ohh, don't stop." She gasped, panting for breath, her heart hammering in her chest, not daring to look away.

"Oh, I assure you, we're not finished yet." Kayden said, a mischievous smile tugging at his lips as he does so. He gave her that smoldering, piercing gaze that made her swallow hard and made a shiver run down her spine.

She knows that he's playing with her, making her wait when she can hardly bare it.

"I need you... please." her voice broke in a throaty whisper, and hearing that was all it took for him to stop and look at her one more time before his touch stirred every nerve in her body and brain.

She drew a sharp breath as he entered her in one, long, steady push; pulling all the way out, before he slid inside her again until he filled her completely.The muscles of her thighs tremble and then relax as his thumb massaged high on her inner thigh while his mouth worked its magic. 

Kayden quickly wraps a hand around her wrists and pins them above her head as he thrusts his hips into her, picking up his pace. Instantly she noticed that his eyes held a row intensity, never looking away from her.

Josephine savored the feeling of him inside her, moving only to lock her legs around his waist and pull him deeper.

Repositioning a hand between them, his fingers moved with purpose, using firm movements that weren’t too hard; slow enough to draw things out, but fast enough to keep building her pleasure.

He felt her tighten around him as he continued to thrust deeper into her, the action setting off another shattering moan from her.

A deep groan escaped his lips as the tension inside him coiled tightly and his thrusts becoming more erratic every passing second.

His hips now jolted hers, spearing her with each thrust until she was reduced to shuddering gasps.

"Kayden!" She gasped, barely able to get his name out, her toes curling and back arching into him as pleasure radiated throughout her body.

Kayden followed her shortly and, after a few more deep strokes, his body went rigid, shuttering in pleasure as he found its release, breath hitching and fingers digging into her flash.

Right after that, he collapsed on top of her with a heavy sigh, burying his head in her chest, still moving shallowly into her spent body, while she tenderly ranks her fingers through his hair, crooning at him.

He took a few moments to breath, then rissing up slowly, his strong arms supporting him above her, he kissed her swollen lips twice and paused and gave her a look that Josephine could only describe as love.

"What is it, love? Are you well?" She asked but he knew she was just teasing now from the evident gleam in her eyes.

"Trust me, I am. I'm just... taking you in." He whispered, not being able to retain the intimate tone in his voice.

"But I think I'll spare you the details." He chuckled when her face flamed up a little, being aware that she caught on the hint.

After what seemed like ages he moved himself from atop her, settling on his side and tugged the sheets around their bodies before wrapping her tightly up against his chest while pressing himself in closer somehow, to her, despite already leaving no space between them.

Josephine could sense the corners of Kayden's lips lifting up to a small smile before silence fell between them. She let herself get confortable in his soothing arms, in the quietness of their house, savoring the blissful afterglow, as every bone in her body relaxed and her covered chest slowly rose and fell, gentle breaths escaping her mouth.

The world can wait, Josephine thought. As far as she's concerned this man in her bed is the only world that matters, and she intends to give him just as much love and care, if not more so, as he gifts her.

[imaginetrahs]

4. Is this a date or what?

Solana

This morning I woke up around nine o'clock and stayed in bed for a while. Oscar wasn't coming until 12:30 and currently it's only 10.

I got out bed with a heavy sigh, and walked to my closet looking for an outfit. I wanted to look good but not like I'm trying too hard. However, I don't want to look like I didn't try. I decided on a cropped thin strapped tank top with ripped jeans and a light flannel shirt. I looked in the mirror and paused thinking about the weather. I checked my phone and it said 85 degrees. I went to change my outfit, but took a picture first. I ended up trying on three different outfits, took pictures of them, and then sent them to the group chat before hopping in the shower.

Real Hot Girl Shit 🤪

Hot Girl Lana

Which one 😭

Read 10:15

Hot Girl Brae

The first one is really cute but so is the third one 😗

Sent 10:18

Hot Girl Ziy

Where are you going 🤔

Sent 10:20

Hot Girl Lana

Out with Oscar 😬

Read 10:50

Hot Girl Brae

Hot Girl Ziy

Hot Girl Brae

Hot Girl Lana

Ok it is not that serious 🙄

Read 10:58

Hot Girl Ziy

Actually it is

Read 11:05

Go with fit 3 bitch

Read 11:05

Hot Girl Lana

Thanks 😊

Read 11:08

I promise to tell y'all everything later

Read 11:10

After punching the air a few times I got dressed and put some mousse on my braids to lay down any flyaways. I didn't do any special makeup just my eyebrows, some lashes and some lip gloss. I walked out of my room to see Jamal sitting at the table eating cereal.

"Where are you going? Did you put sunscreen on because last time you didn't you got burned and then you cried and had me rub aloe all over you and I don't want to do that again." He got up to put his bowl in the sick and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Yes Jamal, damn." I walked around him to the fridge to grab a water.

"Where are you going?" He continued watching me from the counter.

"Out." I sat on the couch and turned the tv on. Reruns of love and hip hop were on so I decided to just watched that until it was time to go.

"Where?" I sighed and threw my head back on the couch.

"What is this? And interrogation?" I tossed the remote on the coffee table in front of me. "You're not my dad! You always tryna hear something."

Jamal gave me a straight face and I couldn't help but bust out laughing. He did this to himself asking all these damn questions.

"Chill out J." I giggled to myself. "I'm a big girl, I can handle myself."

He rolled his eyes and walked down the hall to his room. I stayed on the couch watching tv for the next hour. I was hungry but decided not eat because I'm pretty sure I'll eat with Oscar.

~

12:30 came and went, Oscar still wasn't here. I waited until 1 o'clock to text him, it's only been thirty minutes but Oscar is very punctual it's sickening. I checked my phone again and seen that my message was left on read.

I twisted my face up and locked my phone. I sunk into the couch thinking that maybe he's busy right now and him leaving me on read is his way of telling me he's still coming.

Unfortunately that wasn't the case, I've sat here for another two hours. I laid down on the couch still watching tv, upset. I heard Jamal come out of his room and into the living room.

"I thought you were going out." He came and sat on my back.

"Yeah me too." I groaned out from under him. "Do you wanna go out? Like to eat or something?"

"Really?" His whole face lit up at my question.

"Yeah," I giggled at him, "why wouldn't I be serious?"

He shrugged his shoulders and got up to put his shoes on. I squint my eyes not believing him then got up myself to put my sandals on.

Before leaving I made Jamal take a picture with me for Snapchat. I captioned it with a red heart and posted it. I grabbed my keys from the key hook and left with Jamal behind me. I waited in the car while he locked the front door and pulled out when he got in the passenger seat.

"Where to brother?" I glanced at him but still kept my eyes on the road. Safety first.

"Let's go to the state fair." I stopped at a red light and looked at him surprised.

"Are you sure because last time you told mom and dad you were going to sue them for child endangerment." I laughed and pulled off to get on the freeway.

"I'm a new man now. I'm stronger," he flexed his arms to show his nonexistent muscles, "I'm taller."

"Right." I nodded at him slowly. "We'll see how much of a 'new man' you are when it's time to get on rides."

For the rest of the drive we sung most of the songs that came on Spotify together. Moments like these are my favorite because as we get older we started to drift apart doing our own thing.

About 45 minutes later we parked and hopped out to get to the ticket booth. It was almost 4 o'clock and the park didn't close until 8 so we had some time. For Christmas last year we were gifted membership passes so we didn't have to pay as much and I'm so thankful for our rich family members.

Looking around the park we tried to decide what we wanted to do first. I haven't eaten yet and I was super hungry, like hungry hungry. I looked around for the food truck that I wanted. They served these really, really good buffalo chicken calzones and then I would just get a bucket of fries from another truck and fried Oreos from another. Be honest, who comes to fairs to ride rides because I don't, I come to eat.

Jamal and I sat at one of the free tables and he watched me eat with a disgusted face.

"You know none of that is good for you and with the pace you're eating at, you're bound to choke." He stopped talking abruptly. "I'm not CPR certified." He whispered to himself.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh come on J, chill out. It's like I have to constantly tell you this. Enjoy and indulge in this while you can because once we go back to school it's back to eating prison food."

"I'm pretty sure school food is better than prison food." I huffed and stopped eating.

"That's not the point." I wiped my mouth with the napkins I grabbed. "My point is, enjoy yourself. You're too uptight to be only 14, that's not good. It gives you grey hair early."

"Fine." He sighed and went to reach for my food but I moved it out of his reach.

"What are you doing? All of these vendors and food trucks, and you want my food?" I looked at him like he had two heads. "Go get your own, loser."

~

We've been at the fair for almost four hours and we've ate and played more games than we can count. So far we've won a huge unicorn, big enough for me to sit on, a huge pillow pet and just a bunch of small and medium sized stuffed animals. Since we weren't ready to go yet, I put all of the prizes in a storage locker until we left.

"You ready to go yet?" I looked at Jamal and he looked like he was ready to pass out, truth be told me too. We've been walking around for hours, bumping into people and vice versa, quite frankly I'm tired of it.

"Yeah, you?" He looked back at me and I nodded back at him.

"Let's get a funnel cake before we go?" We both stood up and walked to find the booth that sold funnel cakes. Eventually we found it and stood in line waiting for the few people in front of us.

From the corner of my eye I could see Jamal fidgeting like he wanted to say something. I could feel him glancing at me but not saying anything so I thought I should say something first.

"What is it J?" I turned to him a little, it was enough to let him know he had my full attention.

"What — I don't — what?" He stuttered out.

I pursed my lips and rocked on the heels of my feet waiting for him to tell me. "I don't believe you. So just tell me or rather, I don't know, ask me like a normal person."

He took a minute and finally asked me. "Who were you going out with today?"

I stared at him in disbelief, "that's what you wanted to ask me?" I snorted out a laugh. "I thought you were gonna ask for money 'cause you're in trouble or something. Jeez, J."

He huffed and moved up ordering the funnel cakes for us. I had a feeling he already knew the answer so I didn't bother answering it.

"Are you gonna answer me?" He handed me my cake and we started walking to the front of the fair to grab our things and leave.

"No." I led some guys willing to carry all of the prizes to my car. "I'm pretty sure you already know the answer so...you tell me." I put one hand on my hip while the other held the rest of my cake.

Once the guys were done I tipped them and got in the car. We had a long drive back home because of traffic and it's dark out and people don't know how to fucking drive.

"How did that even happen? Why him of all people?"

To be honest I don't even know myself. Yeah I had a crush on him and yeah he's attractive, very attractive whew. But, the lifestyle he lives is very dangerous, he's older than me, which isn't really a problem I'm eighteen, and he's not really someone my dad would want me to bring home.

"I don't know." I pulled onto the freeway. "It's a long story I guess."

"We got time."

~

We finally arrived home after I spilled my guts about my feelings for Oscar. Surprisingly Jamal didn't say anything about how I felt, because we all know he always has something smart to say.

"I know you're older and you're supposed to look out for me but, you're my only sibling," he took my hand in his, "and I just want you to be safe."

I nodded and squeezed his hand. "Of course. Always."

He nodded back at me and got out the car making his way into the house. My parents were home, I could see their bedroom light on.

I sat in the car for a little while longer not ready to get out yet. My phone went off in the cup holder telling me I had a text message. I looked at it and seen a picture from Braelyn. In the picture it was Oscar, who looked way too high to function, and a girl sitting on his lap. The picture was screenshot from Instagram and it was captioned "Mine 🤪".

I couldn't help but laugh, out of both humor and stupidity. I text back the group chat, "Lmfaooooooo. Bet.", and got out of the car and went inside. I'd get the stuffed animals tomorrow or something, right now I just want to go lay down.

"Hey babygirl." My dad hugged me as I walked in the house. "Jamal told me y'all went to fair. That was nice of you."

"Yeah I thought we should hang before school starts." I kicked my sandals off at the door and grabbed a water from the kitchen. "I'm gonna go to bed, I'm tired.

"Ok, I love you." I repeated it back and went to my room. Today has been a long day.

~

I changed my clothes and then got in bed. I put on Netflix for background noise and check my socials. There wasn't anything special but I watched Jamal's snap and noticed he posted a few pictures of us from the fair.

One picture stood out the most though. It was a picture of me playing the basketball game, I was mid shot with a big smile on my face. It was about 6:30 when it was taken because the sky was a pink-ish orange color and I looked like I was literally glowing. I screenshot it and posted it to my story and locked my phone.

I got another text and seen it was from Oscar. I rolled my eyes and opened it to leave him on read and went back to watching tv. I didn't have time for the tomfoolery, if he didn't want to hang today that's all he had to say instead he stood me up.

"Can I watch tv with you?" I looked up and seen Jamal standing at the door with a disgusted look on his face. "Mom and Dad are...busy and your room is the farthest."

I chuckled and made a space for him on the bed. He climbed in and we watched tv for the next 2 ½ hours. When Jamal got up to leave to his room I laid my head on his shoulder.

"You're my favorite brother."

"I'm you're only brother, Solana."

[daesungindistress]

Hi, Not a Seungri defender as such, but I've also not "cancelled" him yet. I've personally been following the investigation and evidence closely (like to the point of checking Korean sources). I don't know if it what I say matters to you, but I wanted to reassure you that a lot of the VIPs who are OT5 rn, aren't supporting blindly (although there's a few). In my research, I've found most accusations are unbacked media claims. However, if solid evidence should show. I'd change my opinion on it.

*to clarify what I mean by evidence. A lot of the accusations media claim Ri has done or is being investigated for are false. The assumption he was in the MOLKA has so far been disproven. The prostitution claims don’t meet up with other evidence (women out right deny it) And the two burning sun videos, both the woman dragged out and the woman supposedly drugged, have both stated these are but true. I’m not one to believe things blindly but all he women involved have denied all accusation (rn).

I understand that you want to wait for stronger evidence that might convince you to “cancel” him altogether, and that’s fine, but this far into the investigation much of the fandom has seen enough to decide that Seungri’s role in Big Bang has come to an end. The way I look at it, that is the spirit behind OT4 vs OT5. It doesn’t have to be about hating Seungri specifically, it’s more about Big Bang’s longevity… and at this time it’s tough to envision a Big Bang that can live on with Seungri in it. On that subject, I have to stop there because I’m currently in the process of writing another post about this, and I don’t want to use up all my thoughts on it here… or have to resort to repeating myself there.

As for the rest, I agree that Seungri probably isn’t guilty of everything he’s been accused of. But it’s likely he’s guilty of some things. Some of which may never be proven in court because, remember, he told his friends to change phones before turning them in to the police – which they did. It’s recently been reported that Seungri himself submitted a new phone too. He’s currently being investigated for that, this destruction of evidence, so we’ll see if it goes anywhere. By the way, this info was gathered by police during questioning of Seungri’s friends (CJH, JJY, etc).

This is an extremely important point to me. Because if he did tell his friends to ditch their old phones, and took the same measures himself, then that’s practically an admission of guilt, albeit an indirect one. Guilt for what, you ask? We may never know. He made sure we wouldn’t. He pledged to cooperate sincerely with the investigation, but… that doesn’t sound like cooperating sincerely to me. It’s exceedingly weird to me that people aren’t talking about this more.

As for the prostitution claims, yes, some women interviewed have denied. I mean… of course they’re going to deny it, prostitution is illegal in South Korea and confessing would land them in trouble. And yet, it is also possible that they’re being truthful and they are not, in fact, prostitutes. I’m willing to believe that. Keep in mind, however, that there have been multiple chats released that appear to be alluding to prostitution mediation / acting as a liaison in various locations, and the investigation is still ongoing. Police have said recently that they believe they’ve obtained some credible testimony and feel they’re making progress on those allegations, so again, yes or no, we’ll just have to wait and see. Seungri claims that many of those chats are being taken out of context. For some of them, I can accept that. For others… that rosy tint is fading fast.

The Burning Sun video of the woman being dragged is irrelevant, I think. Just a misunderstanding. Last I heard, that video showed her being forcibly removed from the club for causing a disturbance; the woman herself wrote the club a letter of apology and paid for damages. It is true, however, that women have been assaulted and secretly filmed inside the club Burning Sun; not sure about CCTV footage, but police caught two employees who were doing it, using a VIP bathroom and filming it on their phones. IIRC at least one of them is in custody. And many more women are speaking out now – specifically, about how they tried to report problems related to the club but were ignored or silenced by the local police (Gangnam district). It’s quite clear at this point that Burning Sun itself was a hotbed of illegal activity. Many arrests have been made on charges of drug use, and a few for drug distribution.

I’m not actually very interested in discussing Seungri’s role in Burning Sun, as I’m not convinced yet that he had much to do with the seedy goings-on there. Even the prostitution stuff I’m still pretty ‘meh’ about for reasons I don’t feel like going into right now. Gambling = whatever, his drug tests were clean, embezzlement… yeah that’s not great, he’ll probably just pay a fine. Tax evasion, again, sucks, probably another fine. Police collusion… jury’s still out on that one, but it definitely doesn’t reflect well on him, that he’s being questioned about it at all. Remember his comment: “Korean law is shit, that’s why I love it.” Dude. Dumb thing to say when you’re a highly-regarded celebrity who people look up and admire. And now it’s out there for the whole world to see.

Whew. And we haven’t even touched on the main source of fans’ outrage: m o l k a

It’s true that Seungri wasn’t in the majority of JJY’s molka chats and was instead in a chat reserved mostly for business. However, he was sent at least one molka video, and he did see it, because he responded to it. I’m not too fussed by his reply (”Who’s that? Oh, Oo-hyung lol”)… it comes off as more dismissive to me than anything – uninterested, mostly. Unfortunately for him, many are interpreting it as amusement. At the very least, he was aware of JJY’s molka/spycam fetish, because in his Chosun Ilbo interview he said, “Of course I tried to stop him. When I met him in person I tried to stop him and said, ‘Don’t do stuff like that, you’ll get in really big trouble.’” There’s no question anymore whether he did or did not know about his friend’s dirty habits / crimes against women. The most concerning thing, to me, is that he didn’t seem to care enough to cut ties with him because of it. If he had made a visible effort to distance himself, I think people might be more forgiving.

Also strange is his total failure to mention the women affected in any of his apologies. He’s taken the time to apologize to his former agency YG, his bandmates (seen translated as “teammates”), his fans, the Korean public, and even Mr. Kim following his assault by police at Burning Sun… but never once the women. Why? What does that say about him? I’m not sure, but I don’t think I like it.

In the end, here’s what it all boils down to, for me: whatever the extent of his involvement, it’s pretty obvious at this point that he’s not some innocent lamb being led to slaughter. Seungri let this relationship drag on for years and stuck with it, this shady bunch. This wasn’t just a one-time thing, a simple mistake anyone might make. Worse, he was warned by his hyungs many times – on camera, even, in front of fans, in front of TV audiences. They begged him not to mess up while they were away and Big Bang was dependent on him. They trusted him with the name BIGBANG. Will they, or anyone else for that matter, be willing to trust him with it again?

I hate to say it, but it looks like Seungri chose these people over Big Bang. He chose Jung Joonyoung, Choi Jonghoon, Yoo Insuk, and others over Kwon Jiyong, Choi Seunghyun, Dong Youngbae, and Kang Daesung. Forget the warnings, OT4 teased, complained, and scolded him often enough about not spending time with them outside of band-related activities. Well, I guess now we know why. He had other friends, other loyalties, other priorities. Even as recently as late February of this year, when the first KKT chats were dropped (the Arena prostitution chat), Seungri’s first concern was contacting his friends to make sure they’d be safe in the event of a “mandatory police investigation”. I don’t think he’s this horrible person that so many are making him out to be, no, but this is not behavior befitting a member of a world-renowned boyband with a tremendous following of adoring female fans. It’s a coveted position of great power and great responsibility – to his fans, to his bandmates, to himself. But with his burgeoning interest in business, I guess Seungri felt he had better, more important things and people to attend to.

And then on March 11, 2019, he saw the writing on the wall and left Big Bang.

I’m sad to lose him. But I think, in a way, we lost him a long time ago. We just didn’t know it yet.