#whereas the others kinda just make me hack up a lung first before i feel better

[3-aem]

Ima burn the whole country an go to every state border thing and take a huge shit right in the middle of the highway an then a huge shit at every city hall cus why they hell can they give you an inhaler ima bouta put you on my insurance to get you one cus FUCK

I got a lot of asks re my inhaler issue and I'm kind of in the process of dying and crying tn so I'm not going to get to reply to everyone but this is so fucking hilarious to me I'm actually sobbing and wheezing and coughing it hurts but I've read this 50 Times

Thank you for brightening the night 💜💜

[sanddancingwithanxiety]

20.6.20

Not rly a training journal as such but just an update

Rly happy with where the two of us are at atm. Justin has had us working on patterns and I think he and I are both finding that that works for us. Me cos I just ride laps and have a tendency to go “oh! he’s being good. fak. what now?” and arthur cos he gets bored and tunes out. So keeping us busy through lots of figures one way then back the other and kinda drilling them a bit and making them harder each time, just making me quicker. And I always avoid things like that bc I have a bad tendency to only do something if he feels prepped and ready to do it WELL. My biggest problem is being like ‘oh I can’t do a shoulder in now cos it’ll be rubbish’ and then I forget that DOING the shoulder in will fix it. Like the exercises exist for a reason bro. 

So anyway we have been keeping busier and it’s been great for us, like we are able to just use our lesson time so much more effectively now? Unfortunately it has meant my rides on my own have a big difference in quality to my lessons which is sad lol. It was a nice confidence boost in that period last year where my rides on my own were actually BETTER than in my lesson (mostly cos the lunge made him firmer on the contact when he was more regularly sucking back). So, sigh, bit sad but it makes sense I should be better in my lessons lol. 

He had a holiday down at @transequeerstrian‘s last week and has come back from that nice and happy. Just 5 days of trails and hacks for some cross training. And the first day I’ve ridden him away from home since... pretty much that time I took him to Vicki’s when I was still agisting at Justin’s. Then we had a couple of training days in the first couple of years of me owning him. But I realised this was actually my first time ever riding him off property without Justin there lol. I was going to take him on a trail ride myself but he was still a bit unsettled that day, so we made the decision before I hopped on to not trail him, but then literally as soon as I tied him up he was calm af and like oh ja I know this routine. Then he was rly good on the lunge and to ride. Not as calm as at home but honestly if I’ve learned anything by now it’s that I ride him a shit tonne better when he’s spicy bc it’s like GIVE HIM A JOB OR ELSE HE WILL SHY AT STUFF whereas at home if I feel super safe I will just dawdle and we’ll do laps. Basically my problem is just laps and doing nothing lol. But I was rly happy that I was able to just move him around and Chris didn’t need to like tell me where he was going all the time cos I could just .. move my horse around. Hooray I can steer my FEI pony. But could definitely tell I’d gotten better cos it had been so long since we’d ridden together. Which is in contrast to me the week before WAAAH I THINK I’VE GOTTEN WORSE THIS YEAR NOT BETTER. lol.

Anyway I’m so happy with where we are rn that I’ve asked if for the rest of Winter, unless he’s super tense/there’s stuff going on next door, on my Saturday lessons I just hop straight on to get an extra 10 mins of riding time into my week. I do need practise at warming him up myself effectively and just more hours in the saddle (cos Winter our schedule is like: 3 rides w Justin, 2 lessons w Justin where he rides the first 10 mins, 1 ride on my own where I lunge first, then Summer is 2 rides, 2 lessons, then I ride him 2x on my own). 

The canter is still an issue. We are getting all the transitions now and also doing walk to canter transitions. The left canter is fairly collected and under control - we’re able to do travers to shoulder in and back and forth on the circle now, but the right isn’t great. My main thing is I just lose him and he drops out, then I’m too wishy washy and let him just trot fast for a circle til I bring him back, instead of being like OI you’re staying with me and going back in NOW. So we need to work on my OI skills lol. I need to get him to the point where it’s just ‘now that you’re in canter, you’re staying in until I tell you otherwise’. 

I had a sat on Louis last week down at Chris’ and was very jealous of him staying in canter with approximately 0 help from me (cos i’m busy going how tf do i move my body to this smol canter) and also that we went back to trot and i didn’t proceed to get YEETED lol. So that gave me homework.