#whereas before i really got to stretch my creativity with the videos and now! i even try it for different series and sports
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jensonsbuttons · 17 days ago
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gonna watch turkey 2020 to feel something
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dragonindigo245 · 3 years ago
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Official post for my orange side theory
AND NO IT IS NOT WRATH OR ANGER
WARNING: Spoilers for Working Through Intrusive Thoughts. I'm not gonna bother adding the spoiler tag to this post because all the spoilers are going to be under the read more.
Also this post is long so be warned.
Back in early August of 2020 I came up with an orange side theory I have stuck with for a long time. I always found the orange side theory of wrath/anger to be odd, seeing as anger is an emotion not a personality trait, and therefore made an effort to try and discover what I can see the orange side being. In light of the fandoms response to the latest asides saying that orange being wrath is "now canon", I figured it was time to bring it back, along with new points and explanations.
What is the orange side exactly? The answer is simple. He might not be this exactly, but orange is naivety, irrationality, or the inability to see logic clearly.
This started when I made the connection to the dark sides being complete opposites to one another. For example, Janus and Patton are opposite ends of the moral spectrum, Roman and Remus are opposite ends of the creative spectrum, and Logan himself is on the functionality/rationality spectrum. The opposite end would be something like naivety or irrationality.
After that post, I made another a couple of months ago with 3 main points, the first being the opposite ends point. The other two points are just as important.
Point 2: It ties into the 3 monkeys theory
The recent episode confirmed the 3 monkeys theory, further solidifying this point. In case you live under a rock or are new to the Sanders Sides theories, the 3 monkeys theory is based on the whole "See no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil" thing. The dark sides all have powers relating to each of these.
Janus has the ability to mute the sides (speak no evil), Remus has the ability to muffle the sides (hear no evil), and Orange has the ability to... make... their eyes pretty? I'm sure that we will get an actual explanation on how he influenced Logan in the future lol. Regardless, orange is definitely see no evil.
Now you may be asking, Indigo, how does this tie into irrationality?
Do you know what irrationality is? The inability to SEE the world clearly or to SEE reason or logic. Irrationality blinds you to reason itself. It makes sense, seeing as emotions are illogical and orange clearly did something to push Logan to an outburst. When orange provided his influence, Logan's eyes glowed orange, indicating he lost the ability to see purely logically. While, yes, orange did this with anger as a vessel, irrationality takes many forms.
Point 3: Color symbolism
Something that is frequently overlooked when fanders make theories about the sides is that each side ties into their color scheme in some way. Roman being red ties into him functioning as Thomas' romantic side, Patton's light blue tying into his gentle nature and trustworthiness, etc.
Orange is a color that is tied to joy and youth. Being naïve to the world around you crumbling down will often make you happier. While some naivety is great and can make you happy, in large doses it is a threat to your well being.
Point 3.5: How is this connection accurate?
A great deal of the plot in this episode, especially the endcard, showcases this irrational blindness to all of the issues the sides are having with each other. Throughout the episode, Logan keeps having to sacrifice his plan to help Thomas and then once Nico calls Thomas, Thomas doesn't know how hard it hurts Logan to once again be brushed off. In the endcard, Patton and Roman tell Logan that this is more important, not realizing how rejected Logan feels.
This isn't just happening with Logan either. Patton and Virgil have had some rising tension as of late as well. This is showcased the most clearly in this video when Virgil snaps at Patton and says "Oh thank goodness. You're giving him permission." sarcastically. Patton takes this as "I didn't know you would give him permission" whereas Virgil was meaning "He doesn't need your permission to feel good about this". Furthermore, each of the light sides have argued with each other individually in different episodes except for Virgil and Patton.
With Janus recently being more accepted, Remus appearing and hurting everyone, and the tension each of the main sides have... it's all going to fall apart. Nobody but the dark sides seem to notice this tension, not even Thomas. Why? Because they are being naïve. The orange side is either keeping them blissfully unaware or the very fact they are unaware is giving the orange side power.
What is the new point you mentioned?
This video with the orange side really got my gears turning. I began making connections that otherwise I didn't have the ability to make, or never happened to think of. The fact my theory has managed to hold up in a heavy orange side lore video only solidifies my confidence in this.
Point 4: The dark sides revolve around the truth
This theory is a little more of a stretch but if I'm right, then this is all the evidence I really need to confirm that orange is irrationality.
Janus is essentially the ring leader of the dark sides. He keeps them hidden until Thomas wants to be aware of them, with the potential exception of Virgil who we don't know when he was revealed to Thomas. However, each dark side has something in common besides witty remarks. They all center around the truth.
Janus and Remus are easier to figure out, seeing as Janus is literally the embodiment of lies and Remus has multiple times where it is obvious he provides the unfortunate truth. Remus being the bringer of truth is showcased multiple times, which I will only bullet point because this post is more-so about orange than him.
His line of "I would never hide anything from you."
Janus bit in Forbidden Fruit that goes "No longer will you deceive yourself about the ugliness within you."
Logan admitting Remus can help Thomas in his own way
Virgil on the other hand is harder. Unlike the other two, Virgil represents a completely different angle of this "truth theme". Virgil represents the fear of both the truth and the unknown. Why would Janus even need to even repress the dark sides in the first place if Thomas wasn't afraid of the truth that they were apart of him? Why would Thomas had admitted he didn't want there to be more dark sides after he asks if there were more of them if it were not fear he had more unwanted parts of him and fear of not knowing what they were?
Virgil knows Thomas' fears. This would have made admitting he was a dark side such a hard feat. If he felt Thomas was chill with the dark sides, Virgil could have instantly told Thomas he was in fact one of them. In a way, this makes Virgil the perfect bridge between the light and dark sides. The dark sides provide Thomas with the truth he needs or wants, and the light sides figure out how to handle it.
Point 4.5: What does this have to do with orange?
Orange would keep Thomas from the truth. While, yes, this is the exact same thing Janus does, Orange would do it another way. Janus makes Thomas unaware of the truth he KNOWS. Unconsciously, Thomas still knows what Janus hides. This makes it entirely different from how naivety works. Naivety would keep him from ever learning the information in the first place.
Furthermore, we saw that orange is potentially connected to Janus in some way. The very last thing we see in Working Through Intrusive Thoughts is the flash from Janus' eyes, to oranges eyes. This could be a slight hint at Janus and Oranges functions not being so far apart.
Or the writers just thought it would look neat. That too.
Is Logan the orange side?
I can say with almost 100% certainty the answer is no. We saw before each sides introduction, they manifested themselves in the other sides.
Janus silenced Roman in Accepting Anxiety Part 2, Remus manifested in Roman by giving him random unwanted outbursts (like the naked Aunt Patty line that Roman said he didn't know where it came from in the Christmas episode), and therefore it follows orange is manifesting in his own way.
Furthermore, Logan is not the type of character to turn evil. He has outbursts and is being beaten down but he would never snap for good. If anything, we have seen from Putting Others First that he would only appear as needed if he felt ignored.
Logan is not one to let his emotions make irrational decisions for long, and he almost always goes to make up for his mistakes the moment they happen. He always has Thomas' best interests at heart and has witnessed Virgil realizing force is not the way to go about it.
It makes no sense for his character and there is no reason for it to happen narratively.
Please note that this post is simply a theory and I do not wish to start arguments about if I am right or not. If you are going to provide counterclaims, please do so respectfully and do not clog my notes with your own essay. Thank you!
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dailyniallnews · 5 years ago
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Niall Horan: 'I'm a showoff, but there's an introvert inside me too'
As he gears up to release his second solo album, Heartbreak Weather, One Direction's Mr Nice talks taking the reins on his solo career
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Niall Horan is trying on his third outfit choice of the day, dressed in a cuban-collared shirt and cream tailored trousers, he looks every bit the suave, gentlemanly cover star. His hair, which, for years, was bleached, marking him out as “the blond one” in One Direction, is now his natural shade of brown. Horan is effusively polite and incredibly easygoing: he's maintained his reputation as One Direction’s consummate nice guy for over a decade
Since late 2015, when One Direction went on hiatus, Horan’s been hard at work building a stellar solo career, with life turning from an endless whirlwind of record-breaking releases, arena tours and generally being one fifth of the biggest boyband of all-time, into something slightly more manageable and more mature. The fervent fanbase and the arena gigs remain, but the tightly managed schedule of a manufactured band has evolved into Horan taking control of his own diary, while working to hone a signature sound as a solo artist and having more input than ever before on how he’s presented to the world.
After the photo shoot, I ask Horan whether he’s found it empowering, having so much more control as a solo artist. “Well, I’ve been doing it for ten years, so it’s about time I took the reins,” he says, in between mouthfuls of shortbread. “And it’s been great. Even down to the creative elements, I’ve found with the upcoming album that I’ve become a lot more creative, whether that’s writing my last video or designing the set for my tour.” He’s got so much more into the overall aesthetic, he explains, because he's had the time to: “The whole process has been more stretched out, whereas in the band, everything was going at once." It was, he explains, "Make an album, shoot a video, bang, bang, bang. And before you knew it it was all done.”
Clearly, it’s been rewarding. “Twenty-nineteen was my most fun year. I had a good balance of being in the studio, having enough time to think about what I was going to write and then spending time with my friends, going home to Ireland,” he says (Horan lives between South London and LA, and stays with his mother, in the house he bought for her, when he goes back to his hometown of Mullingar).
The product of that time and space is Heartbreak Weather, out on Friday 13 March, Horan’s second solo album. It follows his 2017 debut, Flicker, and brings the indie-pop element he showcased there together with big ballads (the heartfelt, piano-driven “Put A Little Love On Me” is a case in point) and upbeat jams (see the smooth, melodic vocals on “No Judgement”, which could sit quite comfortably next to Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber's “I Don't Care”). Where Flicker felt like a continuation of the One Direction oeuvre, if a little folkier, Heartbreak Weather, or at least the three songs we've heard, feels like more of a stylistic evolution, where Horan plays with disparate – but always commercially popular – sounds. He backs this up, saying all his favourite albums are those in which all the songs feel different.
Horan, who in 1D didn’t write “as much as I would have liked to, because I was too lazy”, is now very into songwriting. “Over the course of Flicker, I became a better writer,” he says. “Going on stage every night you get to see the looks on people’s faces, so I’m almost writing songs for a live show.” He tells me that Heartbreak Weather is a concept album, “like the storyline of a breakup” – a structure that affords him flexibility when it comes each song's tone. He says it follows a relationship from its very beginnings through to its ultimate failure. “So I’ve got the really sad ones that are very ‘poor me’, then there are what I like to call the egotistical ones, because there are nights when you go through a breakup when you just want to go out with your friends and wreck the place.” He adds, “The last song on the album has a chorus that says, ‘Take me back.’” The second single from the album, the upbeat, guitar-heavy “Nice To Met Ya”, about catching eyes with a girl in a bar, falls into the egotistical camp.
He cites influences including Fleetwood Mac and The Eagles, but says that, for this album, he also drew on early 2000s British indie rock, bands such as The Kooks and Arctic Monkeys. When it comes to their individual solo records, Horan is more closely aligned with Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles than Zayn Malik and Liam Payne, which he traces back to the band days. “All that R&B and hip-hop is what Zayn was always listening to, same as Liam. Louis’ got the North of England thing going on. Harry and I would have the most similar taste in music and most similar interests. We were both heavily influenced by 1970s English and American rock and would always be sharing bands with each other, showing each other songs.”
With the exception of Malik, all of One Direction are in the midst of releasing new music. Do they send tracks to one another for feedback? “It’s weird. We never do that. They all text when it comes out, but beforehand no. We’ll be chatting away, but we never say, ‘What do you think of this?'” I question whether this might be down to some sense of competition between them, but Horan says my suspicion is incorrect. “The complete opposite, actually, to the point where we don’t even tell each other we’re releasing, so we all end up bombarding the charts at the same time, which probably isn’t good for us individually. People keep saying to me, ‘Is that some sort of publicity stunt, that you’ve all had albums out at the same time?’ Literally, no. [It’s] because we’re all used to that same cycle. You bring out a song around September or October and then an album at the end of the year, then tour the year after. That’s what we did in the band.”
That the rest of 1D no longer speak to Zayn has been well-documented and Horan is pretty sanguine about the whole affair. “As long as I’ve known him, Zayn’s been the hardest man to stay in touch with. Then we had a falling out a few years ago and, to be honest, that’s just the dynamic: you have people you are friends with and people you are not.” The other four stay in touch, with Horan explaining that, “We don’t get to see each other as much as we’d like to, but we try. I talk to Louis a lot. It’s the lads with the kids that you try to keep in touch with especially, just to see how they are.”
As is always the way with boy bands, each of the former members has their own distinct personality “type” or role. Horan is the good boy, the pure-hearted angel who has somehow managed to steer clear of controversy, even when the others have been embroiled in negative stories. He says this isn’t a reputation he’s actively tried to cultivate. “I’m quite a happy-go-lucky guy. I just plod along. I’m really driven in what I want to do, but I just bounce around. I don’t let too much affect me. I always try to see the best in stuff.” Talk of Horan’s sunny disposition brings us onto the subject of mental health and the toll being so famous can often take. Payne and Styles have both spoken about going to therapy, while Malik has opened up about having anxiety and an eating disorder. It feels almost inevitable that the 1Ders would suffer, given the intense level of scrutiny they’ve experienced since auditioning for The X Factor a decade ago. Horan recalls, “During that 2014/15 stadium run, when it was at its craziest, people were hacking into security cameras at hotels,” and there’s been stalkers, shrines, sexualised fan fiction. But even with pressures such as these, Horan doesn’t think mental health problems are guaranteed. “It just depends how your brain is able to work it out, versus someone else’s," he says, pointing to the media’s role in amplifying the negative. “I know the boys have said they’ve struggled with different bits and pieces, but they also had a really good time.“When you’re doing an interview and you get asked about something like that, you might have walked past it and then you see it has a headline that reads, ‘He really struggled with being in the band. He hated it,’ but actually we had a brilliant time, it’s just some parts of it are suited more to some than others.” The former boy bander’s favourite memories of 1D trace back in 2013, when they were doing their first arena tour in the States. “The craic we had was unbelievable. Because we were so young, it was literally like being on a school trip, but we’d go on stage in the evening. It was such a good laugh.”A wealth of stories based on Horan's 2018 interview with German magazine Zeit Leo will tell you he has been diagnosed with OCD, but when I bring it up he sets the record straight. “I think that was half taken out of context. I said it in an interview one time and then suddenly the headlines were, ‘Niall struggles with mental health issue,’ where actually it was more like, ‘I’m just very organised; my house looks clean,’ I’m very Virgo in that sense.”This is, of course, the nature of internet culture, but it’s not hard to imagine why it would be intolerable to be on the receiving end. Social media has afforded Horan a positive, open relationship with his fans. “I have a good laugh with them on Twitter… I just try to level out the celebrity thing, bring it back down to zero, because that's how it should be,” he says. “Society has decided that we're above everyone else, when actually, if you give us a chance, we're just completely normal people that do a weird job." It’s feeling so exposed all the time that Horan finds hard to handle, which is why he’s weary of sometimes saying too much. “I’d like to share more,” he says. “And if a story wasn’t going to be made out of the smallest thing you say, I probably would... I don’t get scared about how long it’s going to hang around or anything like that, because I’m just not a prick, so there’s not bad stories about me. It’s just, on the surface, it feels a bit picky, like mice at a block of cheese.” This makes sense, as when we put out an open call for fan questions for Horan’s video, Tomlinson replied to our tweet with a joke about how Horan looked like he was on The Apprentice. Within hours, a news story had surfaced online about the exchange.A definite people-pleaser, he’s much happier talking about the positive aspects of the strange life he leads, but when I ask if Horan still finds it odd, after ten years, always being the centre of attention in every room, he opens up. We talk about today, how – as always with megastars – there are a ton of people on set, all looking at him while he’s having his photo taken, and how intense that must be. It’s one of the only times he admits to struggling with a facet of fame. “A few weeks ago, I was shooting a music video in Central London and the thought of people standing around looking at me, I literally felt like I was naked. I would say I am a showoff, but there’s an introvert inside me too… I hate when people sing happy birthday to me,” he says. “A surprise is my nightmare. Like, in the past, when a girlfriend was trying to surprise me, I’d be questioning it all the time, asking everyone around me.” It’s the first time during our interview that he’s said anything vaguely negative and he’s quick to follow it up with an apologetic, “I sound really narcissistic in all of this.” I tell him that, in fact, it makes him even more relatable. Alongside music, Horan is earnestly passionate about golf. He’s always been a keen player and in 2016 he started a management company called Modest Golf, in partnership with his current management. “The first chat I ever had with them about it was at a charity do of Liam's. It was Great Gatsby-themed, so I remember I was wearing a white tux,” he says. "We were chatting after having a few drinks and [decided to] chip in together. The first couple of years were really hard,” he says. “I had to get rid of that stigma that some famous fellow has just started a management company and thinks he’s going to run golf now. I could feel people being like, ‘That’s not going to work.’ But I got the right people in to help me with it. Picking the right players has been interesting and the last year has been amazing.” I ask him about an interview in Today’s Golfer, in which, pointing to how 90 per cent of his followers (61.4 million across Instagram and Twitter) are female, he said he’d “like to think that we can pull a couple of per cent of them into the game”. He tells me that championing women in the sport is a major priority, which makes sense; few people can claim to have first-hand experience of the influence of young women quite like a former boy bander. “Young women drive culture. You see their power everywhere. I’ve always said that if you can get women to play golf, then the sport will take off like never before. It’s like a sleeping giant.“It’s a much better sport than people think. It’s got that old man reputation, but if you actually play golf you’ll realise how much fun it is.” So, beyond golf, the upcoming album and his 2020 Nice To Meet Ya tour, what’s next for Horan? “I want to be releasing albums forever,” he says. "The way it is now, I want to keep doing it.” He’s very happy being less recognised than he once was, saying he can bowl around South London undetected, so long as he’s wearing a hat. For someone who experienced the dizzying height of fame at such a formative age, who has been in the public eye for ten years, Horan seems extraordinarily grounded, very self-aware and, ultimately, really very normal. “If people like me for my music, then see me on TV and think, ‘Oh, he’s a nice fella,’ then I’ll take that.” Heartbreak Weather is out on 13 March. niallhoran.com
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comicteaparty · 5 years ago
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April 25th-May 1st, 2020 Creator Babble Archive
The archive for the Creator Babble  chat that occurred from April 25th, 2020 to May 1st, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:
What is your warm-up routine before you write or draw something related to your story?
Page, Rambler Extraordinaire!
Honestly? I don’t have a formal warm-up, but I definitely like to have my fingers all warmed-up and ready for lots of typing! I really need to get in the mindspace for the particular image/idea being portrayed, though.
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
1) Seek out music that matches the energy of the page, 2) Draw some circles/spirals/hatchmarks to loosen up, 3) Pick the easiest thing on the page and finish it first to build momentum, 4) Repeat Ad Infinitum
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
-listen to music from my playlist -read some fanfics -watch YouTube videos from my subscription -get some tea -stretch/workout -wear my comfiest clothes
CalimonGraal(Fenauriverse)
i'm also another one that listens to music before doing story stuff. (sometimes either is a favorite song/song i'm obsessed with atm or one that matches the current scene)
Eilidh (Lady Changeling)
I usually reread my comic so far and listen to some music I associate with it to get me in the mindset and excited for it
eli [a winged tale]
I have a warm up character to go to! Usually I try for some gestures before getting right back to the panels. It gets the rustiness out of the way for me!
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
Ooh I love your warm ups, Eli!
eli [a winged tale]
Thank you! It’s easier for me to get into a routine when I have something fun to draw first (with zero expectations)
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I don't always need a warm up, but doing panel borders for HoK makes for an excellent warm up. It gets my brain switch gears to comic mode. Music is great, but I only turn it on for important moments (or illustrations outside of comic). There are certain moods that... recur in important moments in my story, and I have playlists for those. e.g. 'sad emotional intimacy'
eli [a winged tale]
I love how music influences our work! I would love to hear all your playlists if you have them easy to share
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
ooooh @eli [a winged tale] i like the motion in your warmups! They're very fluid and nice to look at @keii’ii (Heart of Keol) Keii, I agree with separating playlists for moods! I usually just group them all in my favourites and mentally search for them
DanitheCarutor
Gosh I'm one of the most boring people. Lol I don't have a routine, I don't need one since I'm always in comic mode. Like, all I ever draw is comic pages. I don't have a script or anything that requires writing, so no need for a warm-up for that. I just jump right into it.
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Sounds like you live on the edge which is the opposite of boring 8)
eli [a winged tale]
^
DanitheCarutor
I dunno, it would be cool to do warm-up drawing. That would sure help for gesture/color/anatomy practice. I just don't have the time, a page takes about 4 days to finish without outside distractions, so I have to get to work right away.
eli [a winged tale]
If you can jump right in, that’s great! For me otherwise I just stare at the inks and wish it would colour itself
DanitheCarutor
Ffff I'm like that with dynamic shots where the perspective points are off the page, and I have to tape scrap paper to it, and sometimes my ruler isn't long enough. Working in a traditional medium can be such a pain in the ass sometimes. Lol
This panel is a good example.
Top view perspective lines went way off the page, I hate it.
Anyways, that's my complaint for the day.
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
When I draw warm ups. This was of my 'for practice' comic art. I wanted to practice the vertical scroll storytelling. A lady gets her purse string cut, and the thief runs off. Whenever I want to figure out action scenes, I do little character interactions. It helps me learn more about certain character behavior(edited)
eli [a winged tale]
Nice! Practice comics are great!
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
yeah it's really good too!
it's also a great way to possibly have new stories/series
kinda like.....brainstorming, but applied
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
Thank you Eli, Shadow. I try to combine my knowledge of storyboarding, since vertical scroll sequences, are similar to that in some regards.(edited)
Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS
I.... Don't do warm up. I just... Start drawing(edited)
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
dang Holmea you living the risky life
that's brave
Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS
I am pretty sure of my skill. Should I warm up?? Could be super to start warm ups! I check my mail, find out how we are doing online with our comic and just begin to draw. I guess since I have done it professionally as a 2d animator, and there is not really time to warm up, that I have learned to just start
FeatherNotes(Krispy)
I do warm ups for everything! though what I define as warmups depend on each creator. For me, it begins with stretches and sketching, ill doodle things i need to get out of my head so i'm not distracted by those ideas- they usually involve studies, certain character interactions, or thumbing out pieces I want to tackle later! I may sure to draw everyday to flex that too, so its also important to be able to relax those creative muscles with some pre-work!
also! my warm ups vary with what medium i work in. if Im working in watercolours, i practice fine pencil work and get my lines as loose as possible. when it's comic (so mainly inking) i do what I described above with character studies and what not
kayotics
I’m really bad at remembering to do warm ups. I should.... actually do them more, but the time I have dedicated to drawing is usually pretty limited
Deo101 [Millennium]
Because I usually finish off whatever I had been working on the day before, warmups for me are kind of the process of starting a new piece. All the sketching and thumbing to get my next idea out work pretty well for warming me up, and then I feel ready to go by the time I'm needing to do things like lines. I also get music going that fits the mood of what I'm working on, like lots of people seem to do! I also need to remember to do stretches more :/ And I usually get myself some kind of drink, tea or something, to keep me company while I work ;)
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
Sounds like you are pretty busy, Kayotic. Yeah warm ups can be a good practice before diving into a big illustration
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Weirdly I don't think I've ever done warmups for illustrations. Only comic work!
Probably because illustrations, I just do them whenever I feel like it, so my brain is already ready (i.e. I don't start if my brain isn't ready)
whereas comic... I can't just wait for my brain to get ready. I need to keep updating it.
Page, Rambler Extraordinaire!
Pro-tip: if you decide to not do anything and procrastinate, you don't have to warm-up!
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
hmm, can't say i've really tried warming up for art before, but i've heard it can really help! What are you guys' art warm up routines?
Deo101 [Millennium]
For me it's just kinda mindless sketching til I hit what it is I wanna be doing
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Make panel borders (not really a routine though, at least I don't think it is)
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
When I do watercolor, I usually don't do warm ups unless I'm planning from thumb-> sketch ->color thumbs and figuring out local colors for watercolor then doing my watercolor flats from there
Deo101 [Millennium]
Instead of staring at a blank screen and waiting, making little circles or scribbles or drawing like. Some arms or something til, eventually, my brain thinks we're working and then it's like "ah yes! Here we go!"
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
but digitalllyyyyy I shoullddddddddd
my brain when looking at my comic: "aight time to do the thingy lmao"
Deo101 [Millennium]
If I've already got a sketch waiting to go I can jump right in though
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
idk, I should but my time is usually limited so I haven't done a warm up in a while lmao.
now I have the time, I probably would
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
ohh i see
like some quick sketches
i see how that can help- whenever i'm figure drawing or drawing people in a cafe or something my later ones are always better
how is making panel borders a warm up? don't you have to do that anyways?
Deo101 [Millennium]
Lines with intent! Doesn't matter what the purpose is, same kinda thing as drawing a bunch of straight lines in a row or practicing ellipses a bit
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
It's something I can do with my brain turned off. While I do it, it wakes up the comic-making part of my brain
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
oh ye
Deo101 [Millennium]
Which I'd encourage doing things like drawing a ton of ellipses or straight lines, it gets your hand into the groove so you can draw stuff right the first time
Do I do it often? No But I do encourage it
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
ah i see keii
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
So for me, the panel borders can function like a warmup without being a "ritual." Kinda like if you're... say... hiking, walking from your parking spot to the trailhead can be a warmup even if it's not a ritual and is necessary anyway
Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)
ooo that's an interesting way of putting it
... man I really should consider warm ups often. I have been touching my sketchbook less and less so lmao
I do find making small thumbs and coloring them in relaxing for me, not sure that count as a warm up but its something I like doing when planning out watercolor illustrations lol
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Relaxing/chilling/ "reward after a long day" arting is also an interesting topic, though not 100% suitable for this week's question...
I find it interesting how a lot of people seem to like, make cute ship doodles, whereas I uhhh
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
lineart is the easiest for me to do though. I don't have to think much about it
maybe i should like line a page as warm up?
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I'll drop some examples in art share in a bit
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
ooh please do(edited)
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
That sounds like a good idea! Worth trying
Feather J. Fern
I actually read in a artist self care comic "Draw Stronger: Self Care of Artist" that you are supposed to stretch and stuff before you art so your body is warmed up for long periods of sitting. Things i draw before getting into main art, the one line challenge where you draw something using one line, gesture drawing warm ups, and always becuase it's something I recently been doing, is drawing a thumbs up on a page that I can erase later or keep in a sketchbook as in like "Good job "(edited)
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
I don't have a warm-up routine before I sit down and draw / write comics. Besides making a cup of coffee before I dive right in. (edited)
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
I don't follow rules
snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)
i don't really have any warm up routines. it helps that 3d art is less physically demanding than drawing. during/after my work, i try to look away from the screen and relax my eyes every so often, but i can't think of anything i specifically do before working.
Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)
Another dive-right-inner here. I mean, I do loose pencil sketches before putting down lineart, but it's not like a separate warmup drawing before the real one, it's just the start of the real one.
If my brain isn't in "comics mode" and I need to get a page done...I find a nice secluded spot, sit down with the blank sketchbook, and stare at the empty paper until ideas start clicking into place. Unrelated sketches would be a distraction at that point -- same as checking twitter, just one more excuse for my brain to focus on something other than the page.
Used to do the seclusion in local restaurants( whether it's a nice place or just a plastic fast-food table), but obviously that hasn't been an option for a while :/
varethane
My warmup is working eight hours at an unrelated job l-lol
eli [a winged tale]
Haha aw that’s a mood
Miranda
Oh boy do I feel that
shadowhood (SunnyxRain)
oh that got real
0 notes
sailorrrvenus · 6 years ago
Text
Why I Ditched My Nikon Kit for Sony as a Wedding Photographer
Changing camera systems is not something to be taken lightly. As a die-hard Nikon fan since I first got into photography, I didn’t think I would ever consider switching away from them. And yet, here I am, sitting with no Nikon kit in sight having just shot my first wedding entirely on Sony kit and no regrets.
My entire career as a professional photographer has been forged with a Nikon. I knew my D750 inside out, knew how it would meter differently in different lights, when I had to adjust things, without even looking. It was comfortable to use and yet, as my way of working has changed, and my photography has grown, the camera hadn’t quite kept up.
What’s wrong with the D750
Well, nothing really. The D750 is a fantastic camera, and for the price it’s regularly available at (under a grand pre-owned), I still think it’s one of the best all-around DSLR cameras on the market for the money. Its dynamic range is incredible, the ISO performance is fantastic and it’s a monster when it comes to focus in low light situations.
And yet, as my shooting style has evolved certain aspects of it have frustrated me at times. The buffer is pretty dire, even with fast cards in it, shooting RAW to both cards the camera chokes after 10 shots. Now for weddings, this doesn’t matter for 90% of the day, but the 10% it does matter, it started to irk me.
Similarly, the max shutter speed of 1/4000th of a second. Not a problem, unless, like me, you like to shoot wide open. My most used aperture is f/2 and after this blazing hot summer we’ve had, I was having to push the aperture higher than I’d have liked to, in order to stop highlights being blown.
Shooting in Liveview on the D750 is another letdown — the AF is awful and slow, it hunts back and forth. It’s fine if you have the time to wait, but if you’re trying to catch a moment, you’ve got no chance.
Why not the D850?
So surely my obvious choice is to upgrade to the D850 right? Bigger buffer, using even faster cards, better Liveview, touch screen focus etc. That fixes all of my concerns right?
Well yes and no. It’s a bigger camera, physically, plus I don’t need 42 megapixels for a wedding. XQD cards are expensive, with not even the sole-manufacturer of them (Sony) adopting them. Making it an expensive upgrade path, especially as I like to shoot on two identical cameras.
Sure I’d get some of the benefits that I wanted, but it wouldn’t solve all of my issues. Liveview is better than the D750, but it’s nothing special.
Mirrorless is where all cameras will end up
I did a lot of research before I made the decision to change, I tried friends cameras, I checked all the boring things like ISO performance against my Nikons and most of all, I looked into the AF accuracy and speed, because that’s what’s key as a documentary wedding photographer, capturing moments the instant they happen!
Where mirrorless used to lag behind, it’s now not the case, with AF points covering the entire frame, dual phase and contrast detect pixels making Autofocus lightning fast and the addition of Eye-AF on the Sony’s is a game changer for me. It sounds so simple, it detects the closest eye to your focus point and tracks it. But just how accurate this is and how well it tracks around the frame has to be seen to be believed.
And let’s face it, the whole idea of a mirror having to physically move to take a photo, is just, well, behind the times in this digital age.
WYSIWYG shooting, What You See Is What You Get, is where the future is and is what makes mirrorless systems a pleasure to use. No more checking to see if any highlights are blown, you know whether they are or not *before* you hit the shutter button. Real-time exposure preview through both the viewfinder and the rear screen mean no more chimping, you know what you’ve got straight away.
A week of using the Sony a7 III and the DSLR seems dated.
So how is it vs the D750?
The D750 is a fantastic camera, and for the price it can be picked up for these days, I still have the opinion that it’s one of the best buys for an all-around DSLR in most parts of its performance.
And of course, it’s an absolute monster when it comes to low light performance. And that’s where the Sony misses in one way and wins big in the other.
It loses on low light AF. It’s just not as good as the D750 at locking focus when it gets dark, period. So you might want to think about an AF assist beam, a low power video light, or pre-focussing (which is what I do for dancing shots anyway).
But when it comes to ISO performance, the Sony smashes even the mighty Nikon. With native ISO going all the way up to 51200 (which is a horrible horrible mess, but still) at any ISO that you’re likely to use, the Sony wins. Sony has even managed to get even more dynamic range out of the A7 III than the D750, which was already an impressive camera in that regards.
The D750s ultra-deep grip is better in the hand, admittedly, or at least when holding it to your face, but with me not using the viewfinder, I find the Sony sits really nicely in my hand. Although a little front-heavy with fast Sony glass attached.
There’s no weight saving once the lenses are attached, so if you think a plus of switching to mirrorless is a reduction in weight, think again! Similarly, if your work is predominantly studio based and you use flash all of the time, you’re not going to get many of the advantages of that a mirrorless system would give you. They all vanish when you introduce flash and you’re metering for exposure anyway.
But when you’re working in natural light, zebra lines highlighting the parts of the image that will have blown, or focus peaking helping you manually focus combined with being able to see the exposure before you take the shot, are simply fantastic.
Shot on the Sony a7 III
What it’s like to use
The body is smaller, the grip is quite deep though and it feels comfortable in the hand. If you don’t use fast lenses, then you may get some decent weight saving out of the switch. But connecting up a 35mm f/1.4 Distagon or 85mm f/1.4 G Master is definitely not a light combination. Maybe a hundred grams lighter than my equivalent set up on the D750.
It feels nice in the hand though, the lens sits nicely on my hand, I think a bit of weight helps stabilize the camera a little. But if you’re thinking about switching just to save weight, and you’re planning on adding a fast aperture lens. Stop, step back, and think again. It won’t be lighter!
Shot on the Sony a7 III
The AF is incredibly fast, the D750 was no slouch, but the Sony impresses me again and again. Eye AF which I thought was going to be a bit of a gimmick. Is quite simply, incredible, it’s fast, accurate and tack sharp.
Full silent mode is great if a little weird to begin with, and you have to understand the technical limitations. In certain artificial lighting, it will create banding across the image. You might be able to avoid it by shooting in multiples of 1/50th (1/60th in the USA) due to the frequency lights flicker. But if you notice it, you’re better off disabling silent mode under those lighting conditions. Similarly, it can’t be used for particularly fast moving subjects, or they will appear to stretch across the screen. This isn’t an issue with the Sony, it’s just a technical limitation of how electronic shutters work vs mechanical shutters. So you have to learn when you can use silent, and when you can’t.
Shot on the Sony a7 III
I’m the first to admit, I’m not a fan of Electronic View Finders. The one on the A7 III is good, the EVF in both the A7R III and A9 is better. But I still don’t really like them. Don’t ask me why, I just don’t, I think it’s to do with my eye being so close to a screen, I just don’t like it. Whereas others rave about it. So it’s definitely down to personal tastes.
So is it a problem? No, because that’s the other thing with mirrorless that has changed how I shoot… I don’t use the viewfinder. Not only does it eat up batteries faster (due to internal heat generation), but also, I just find shooting in LiveView better. It’s freeing, it allows me to get the camera into angles I’d otherwise struggle, creating new creative opportunities. There’s a mode for bright sunlight, which works great, probably increases battery drain a bit, so I turn it off when not needed.
And the big thing for me, as a social photographer. I’m not hiding my face behind a camera, I’m able to engage with my clients while shooting. Making them feel more comfortable, which creates better connections, which makes for better photos. And that is what we all want.
Shot on the Sony a7 III
How was it at the wedding?
So I switched kit a week before a wedding, and I will admit, on the run up to it. I was thinking “Is this sensible? Am I going to be used to using these by Saturday? Will I deliver the same quality that my clients expect?”.
Any worries were completely unfounded, once set up how I wanted them to be, they’re a dream to use. So easy! Focus points covering the whole screen and being able to tap the screen to select them is a dream, the AF was quick and accurate all day long, it even surpassed my expectations late on for the dancing.
The silent shutter meant I could shoot even more discretely for most of the day (I had to turn it off in the barn to avoid banding) and the expanded buffer vs my D750 meant I never had to worry about the camera choking. Combined with the fact that I could see the exposure before pressing the button it was a dream.
Shot on the Sony a7 III
Let’s put this into perspective…
I’d had the cameras for a week. And this was the most confident I’d ever felt shooting a wedding.
Shot on the Sony a7 III
So you’d recommend I switch to Sony then?
No. Well, maybe.
It depends, doesn’t it? If you shoot predominantly studio work, then you lose some of the benefits straight away. No WYSIWYG for you, obviously. And you don’t need it. Super fast AF, well, you don’t need that either for the most part as you know the distance, you can prefocus.
Social and lifestyle photography? Maybe. I’m not going to say Yes, because it’s a very personal decision and what feels right for me might not feel right for you. But I think it’s worth checking them out certainly.
Shot on the Sony a7 III
Some of the more dreamy portrait work? Maybe not… The A7 III has a very weak low-pass optical filter (or Anti-aliasing filter). A low-pass filter softens the image, mainly to prevent moiré but also because sometimes a slightly softer image is just more pleasing to the eye. As it is the A7 III delivers incredibly sharp images and for some styles of photography, that might actually be too sharp.
Ultimately, it’s not a camera for everyone. Kit doesn’t make you a better photographer, or somehow able to better frame an image in your head. But for me, it’s made it easier to translate the image in my head, into an image to deliver to a client.
Shot on the Sony a7 III
Specific advantages of the Sony
Bullet points time!
Silent shooting – brilliant, just brilliant, especially for couples shoots when you’re potentially invading their personal space a little. It’s a bit less intrusive without a rapid clicking of a shutter!
A HUGE buffer – I get 50 images in a row at 10fps before the camera even starts to choke!
Real-time exposure preview with zebra stripes on the blown highlights – nail that exposure every time!
Eye-Af (this is seriously insane)
Focus points covering the whole viewfinder
Focus Peaking so manual focus is easy
Brilliant battery life – I shot the whole wedding with 1 battery in each camera!
Shot on the Sony a7 III
Shot on the Sony a7 III
Shot on the Sony a7 III
Your thoughts?
Whether you agree with me, disagree, are considering the switch or have tried to switch and found you hate mirrorless! I’d love to know why! Please drop your thoughts below.
About the author: Andy Dane is an award-winning wedding photographer, lifestyle blogger, husband, and father based in Norwich, UK. The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author. You can find more of Dane’s work on his website, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. This article was also published here.
source https://petapixel.com/2019/03/15/why-i-ditched-my-nikon-kit-for-sony-as-a-wedding-photographer/
0 notes
pauldeckerus · 6 years ago
Text
Why I Ditched My Nikon Kit for Sony as a Wedding Photographer
Changing camera systems is not something to be taken lightly. As a die-hard Nikon fan since I first got into photography, I didn’t think I would ever consider switching away from them. And yet, here I am, sitting with no Nikon kit in sight having just shot my first wedding entirely on Sony kit and no regrets.
My entire career as a professional photographer has been forged with a Nikon. I knew my D750 inside out, knew how it would meter differently in different lights, when I had to adjust things, without even looking. It was comfortable to use and yet, as my way of working has changed, and my photography has grown, the camera hadn’t quite kept up.
What’s wrong with the D750
Well, nothing really. The D750 is a fantastic camera, and for the price it’s regularly available at (under a grand pre-owned), I still think it’s one of the best all-around DSLR cameras on the market for the money. Its dynamic range is incredible, the ISO performance is fantastic and it’s a monster when it comes to focus in low light situations.
And yet, as my shooting style has evolved certain aspects of it have frustrated me at times. The buffer is pretty dire, even with fast cards in it, shooting RAW to both cards the camera chokes after 10 shots. Now for weddings, this doesn’t matter for 90% of the day, but the 10% it does matter, it started to irk me.
Similarly, the max shutter speed of 1/4000th of a second. Not a problem, unless, like me, you like to shoot wide open. My most used aperture is f/2 and after this blazing hot summer we’ve had, I was having to push the aperture higher than I’d have liked to, in order to stop highlights being blown.
Shooting in Liveview on the D750 is another letdown — the AF is awful and slow, it hunts back and forth. It’s fine if you have the time to wait, but if you’re trying to catch a moment, you’ve got no chance.
Why not the D850?
So surely my obvious choice is to upgrade to the D850 right? Bigger buffer, using even faster cards, better Liveview, touch screen focus etc. That fixes all of my concerns right?
Well yes and no. It’s a bigger camera, physically, plus I don’t need 42 megapixels for a wedding. XQD cards are expensive, with not even the sole-manufacturer of them (Sony) adopting them. Making it an expensive upgrade path, especially as I like to shoot on two identical cameras.
Sure I’d get some of the benefits that I wanted, but it wouldn’t solve all of my issues. Liveview is better than the D750, but it’s nothing special.
Mirrorless is where all cameras will end up
I did a lot of research before I made the decision to change, I tried friends cameras, I checked all the boring things like ISO performance against my Nikons and most of all, I looked into the AF accuracy and speed, because that’s what’s key as a documentary wedding photographer, capturing moments the instant they happen!
Where mirrorless used to lag behind, it’s now not the case, with AF points covering the entire frame, dual phase and contrast detect pixels making Autofocus lightning fast and the addition of Eye-AF on the Sony’s is a game changer for me. It sounds so simple, it detects the closest eye to your focus point and tracks it. But just how accurate this is and how well it tracks around the frame has to be seen to be believed.
And let’s face it, the whole idea of a mirror having to physically move to take a photo, is just, well, behind the times in this digital age.
WYSIWYG shooting, What You See Is What You Get, is where the future is and is what makes mirrorless systems a pleasure to use. No more checking to see if any highlights are blown, you know whether they are or not *before* you hit the shutter button. Real-time exposure preview through both the viewfinder and the rear screen mean no more chimping, you know what you’ve got straight away.
A week of using the Sony a7 III and the DSLR seems dated.
So how is it vs the D750?
The D750 is a fantastic camera, and for the price it can be picked up for these days, I still have the opinion that it’s one of the best buys for an all-around DSLR in most parts of its performance.
And of course, it’s an absolute monster when it comes to low light performance. And that’s where the Sony misses in one way and wins big in the other.
It loses on low light AF. It’s just not as good as the D750 at locking focus when it gets dark, period. So you might want to think about an AF assist beam, a low power video light, or pre-focussing (which is what I do for dancing shots anyway).
But when it comes to ISO performance, the Sony smashes even the mighty Nikon. With native ISO going all the way up to 51200 (which is a horrible horrible mess, but still) at any ISO that you’re likely to use, the Sony wins. Sony has even managed to get even more dynamic range out of the A7 III than the D750, which was already an impressive camera in that regards.
The D750s ultra-deep grip is better in the hand, admittedly, or at least when holding it to your face, but with me not using the viewfinder, I find the Sony sits really nicely in my hand. Although a little front-heavy with fast Sony glass attached.
There’s no weight saving once the lenses are attached, so if you think a plus of switching to mirrorless is a reduction in weight, think again! Similarly, if your work is predominantly studio based and you use flash all of the time, you’re not going to get many of the advantages of that a mirrorless system would give you. They all vanish when you introduce flash and you’re metering for exposure anyway.
But when you’re working in natural light, zebra lines highlighting the parts of the image that will have blown, or focus peaking helping you manually focus combined with being able to see the exposure before you take the shot, are simply fantastic.
Shot on the Sony a7 III
What it’s like to use
The body is smaller, the grip is quite deep though and it feels comfortable in the hand. If you don’t use fast lenses, then you may get some decent weight saving out of the switch. But connecting up a 35mm f/1.4 Distagon or 85mm f/1.4 G Master is definitely not a light combination. Maybe a hundred grams lighter than my equivalent set up on the D750.
It feels nice in the hand though, the lens sits nicely on my hand, I think a bit of weight helps stabilize the camera a little. But if you’re thinking about switching just to save weight, and you’re planning on adding a fast aperture lens. Stop, step back, and think again. It won’t be lighter!
Shot on the Sony a7 III
The AF is incredibly fast, the D750 was no slouch, but the Sony impresses me again and again. Eye AF which I thought was going to be a bit of a gimmick. Is quite simply, incredible, it’s fast, accurate and tack sharp.
Full silent mode is great if a little weird to begin with, and you have to understand the technical limitations. In certain artificial lighting, it will create banding across the image. You might be able to avoid it by shooting in multiples of 1/50th (1/60th in the USA) due to the frequency lights flicker. But if you notice it, you’re better off disabling silent mode under those lighting conditions. Similarly, it can’t be used for particularly fast moving subjects, or they will appear to stretch across the screen. This isn’t an issue with the Sony, it’s just a technical limitation of how electronic shutters work vs mechanical shutters. So you have to learn when you can use silent, and when you can’t.
Shot on the Sony a7 III
I’m the first to admit, I’m not a fan of Electronic View Finders. The one on the A7 III is good, the EVF in both the A7R III and A9 is better. But I still don’t really like them. Don’t ask me why, I just don’t, I think it’s to do with my eye being so close to a screen, I just don’t like it. Whereas others rave about it. So it’s definitely down to personal tastes.
So is it a problem? No, because that’s the other thing with mirrorless that has changed how I shoot… I don’t use the viewfinder. Not only does it eat up batteries faster (due to internal heat generation), but also, I just find shooting in LiveView better. It’s freeing, it allows me to get the camera into angles I’d otherwise struggle, creating new creative opportunities. There’s a mode for bright sunlight, which works great, probably increases battery drain a bit, so I turn it off when not needed.
And the big thing for me, as a social photographer. I’m not hiding my face behind a camera, I’m able to engage with my clients while shooting. Making them feel more comfortable, which creates better connections, which makes for better photos. And that is what we all want.
Shot on the Sony a7 III
How was it at the wedding?
So I switched kit a week before a wedding, and I will admit, on the run up to it. I was thinking “Is this sensible? Am I going to be used to using these by Saturday? Will I deliver the same quality that my clients expect?”.
Any worries were completely unfounded, once set up how I wanted them to be, they’re a dream to use. So easy! Focus points covering the whole screen and being able to tap the screen to select them is a dream, the AF was quick and accurate all day long, it even surpassed my expectations late on for the dancing.
The silent shutter meant I could shoot even more discretely for most of the day (I had to turn it off in the barn to avoid banding) and the expanded buffer vs my D750 meant I never had to worry about the camera choking. Combined with the fact that I could see the exposure before pressing the button it was a dream.
Shot on the Sony a7 III
Let’s put this into perspective…
I’d had the cameras for a week. And this was the most confident I’d ever felt shooting a wedding.
Shot on the Sony a7 III
So you’d recommend I switch to Sony then?
No. Well, maybe.
It depends, doesn’t it? If you shoot predominantly studio work, then you lose some of the benefits straight away. No WYSIWYG for you, obviously. And you don’t need it. Super fast AF, well, you don’t need that either for the most part as you know the distance, you can prefocus.
Social and lifestyle photography? Maybe. I’m not going to say Yes, because it’s a very personal decision and what feels right for me might not feel right for you. But I think it’s worth checking them out certainly.
Shot on the Sony a7 III
Some of the more dreamy portrait work? Maybe not… The A7 III has a very weak low-pass optical filter (or Anti-aliasing filter). A low-pass filter softens the image, mainly to prevent moiré but also because sometimes a slightly softer image is just more pleasing to the eye. As it is the A7 III delivers incredibly sharp images and for some styles of photography, that might actually be too sharp.
Ultimately, it’s not a camera for everyone. Kit doesn’t make you a better photographer, or somehow able to better frame an image in your head. But for me, it’s made it easier to translate the image in my head, into an image to deliver to a client.
Shot on the Sony a7 III
Specific advantages of the Sony
Bullet points time!
Silent shooting – brilliant, just brilliant, especially for couples shoots when you’re potentially invading their personal space a little. It’s a bit less intrusive without a rapid clicking of a shutter!
A HUGE buffer – I get 50 images in a row at 10fps before the camera even starts to choke!
Real-time exposure preview with zebra stripes on the blown highlights – nail that exposure every time!
Eye-Af (this is seriously insane)
Focus points covering the whole viewfinder
Focus Peaking so manual focus is easy
Brilliant battery life – I shot the whole wedding with 1 battery in each camera!
Shot on the Sony a7 III
Shot on the Sony a7 III
Shot on the Sony a7 III
Your thoughts?
Whether you agree with me, disagree, are considering the switch or have tried to switch and found you hate mirrorless! I’d love to know why! Please drop your thoughts below.
About the author: Andy Dane is an award-winning wedding photographer, lifestyle blogger, husband, and father based in Norwich, UK. The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author. You can find more of Dane’s work on his website, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. This article was also published here.
from Photography News https://petapixel.com/2019/03/15/why-i-ditched-my-nikon-kit-for-sony-as-a-wedding-photographer/
0 notes
foursprout-blog · 7 years ago
Text
I Fell In Love Abroad And Honestly? It Completely Sucked.
New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/i-fell-in-love-abroad-and-honestly-it-completely-sucked/
I Fell In Love Abroad And Honestly? It Completely Sucked.
John Sting / Unsplash
When I first decided I was getting my master’s in the United Kingdom, I was ready to go into it with zero attachments. But that’s always when they get you, isn’t it? When your guard is down and you have no plans to commit to anyone or anything, but someone handsome and blue-eyed and strong, with an infuriatingly bright mind, falls into your lap. That’s how it works for everyone right? Now maybe it’s clickbait if I say it sucked when it was truly magnificent for about 99% of the time we were together, which was almost the entire year I spent in the UK. But that one percent of suck broke me open and I poured heartache and sad for what felt like an eternity. Let’s start from the beginning.
I had a friend crush on a girl I thought was super cool, and when she invited me to her place for tea after class I was ecstatic. I’m an enthusiastic and unbearably outgoing American in a colder British society, and even though Bristol had a lively, young scene, I was not their definition of cool. I had a few worldly quirks going for me, like the fact that I was well-traveled, I had this gargantuan curly hair that you couldn’t ignore, and I could not be squished into the “idiot” box lots of Brits love to put around Americans. I was getting a master’s at an esteemed university and if you asked me where Ukraine was or my thoughts on the tannins in a cab sav I had an answer. Now those don’t designate intelligence, but it was enough to keep the “stupid American” commentary at bay. Regardless, I was just happy to be invited out by someone I was intrigued by. I stepped into her flat and met her roommates, and one of them caught my eye. He was tall and well-muscled, he was a really talented musician who was getting his Ph.D. in an environmental field, and his master’s/undergraduate degrees aligned with my interests in politics, international relations, and gender equality. He spoke confidently about obscure political philosophers and ruffled his dirty blonde, fluffy hair, and he would make these silly expressions with his big, blue eyes. I’m not one for the classic look, if I had a type he wouldn’t be it, but I couldn’t help but think that we would have really good…dinner. He looked like he appreciated a good falafel.
The girl and I, let’s call her Rachel, actually did not get along much. She had a condescension in the way she carried herself that was intolerable, and I was too bubbly for her taste. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but few can deny I’m a good friend who has people’s best interests at heart. I’m not bitter, I think. I found my collection of friends and slowly but surely that blue-eyed boy found his way into my contacts, and even though I was committed to not being committed, we went on a few dates. He took me to obscure concerts with his musician friends, he drank a little more than I did and got goofy, and I considered breaking it off gently on the third or fourth date. But his sense of humor got me. It helped that he was attractive and smart, it also helped that he had a creative mind, but when he made me laugh I was like putty in his hands. He had me.
I went on a long trip with some friends and before I left I almost told him I loved him. I bit my tongue. I refused to say it first and I didn’t even know if it was how I felt. So I waited. And when I got back, he picked me up from the station, laid in bed with me for a bit and picked a little fight with me. I feel like he did it due to the incomprehensibility of his own emotions. As I turned my back and started dusting off my metaphorical boxing gloves, he choked up and said: “I think I love you.” I softened immediately. I’m sure he could see it in the way my shoulders relaxed, my head lifted, and my hands fell to my side. I stretched my neck and slowly turned, and I said: “I love you too.” The next 10 months were a whirlwind of emotion and travel, like when we almost missed our flight in Portugal or almost broke up in Madrid, or when I met his entire extended family in Dover and we drank and fought and laughed all night. One time he called me homely and I was incredibly offended until we looked it up and found out that in the UK it meant “cozy” and in the US it meant “unkempt” and we both laughed off the brewing fight; that night we realized there were cultural differences that found their way into our relationship. I cried about my essays to him and he biked over and gave me kisses and I cooked all sorts of experimental vegan meals for him and he brought up all sorts of philosophical questions for us to debate. We fought so hard over our thoughts on a Nicki Minaj video once we both almost ended it then and there. Wine was definitely involved. We were passionate and we were wild and we were really in love. Not even the sheer power of Anaconda could break that.
The day we broke up was less than a week before my dissertation was due. I fell to pieces. I had suggested it. It was my idea and I refused to back down because I still believe it needed to happen. But it felt like grief. Like a loved one had died. I couldn’t tell my friends because they all had the same dissertation due in a matter of days. But my life started ripping at the seams right then. There was no way my dissertation would be done in time when I could not leave my bed. My sheets were soaked through with tears. There was no food in my place but I wasn’t eating anyway. I was disheveled and the only time I got up was to take a hot shower where I just sat on the floor and sobbed. Soap was haphazardly used. My kitchen sink was disturbing. I needed to move the day after my dissertation but nowhere would take an American with a foreign bank for only a month of rent. I had no way to move in a city where most don’t use cars and my money was dwindling. I went to the university doctor for a melatonin prescription so I could maybe sleep, maybe stop having late-night panic attacks about the state of my life, and I sobbed so immediately and so heartrendingly that he suggested a medically-determined extension on my dissertation.
From that day on it all fell into place. I spilled to my friends at our dissertation hand-in brunch that I had nowhere to live and my life was in shambles and I had an extension and I had kept it from them and with the celebratory champagne still in their hands they all figured it out for me on the spot. Two of them offered me their places over the upcoming month, and the rest filled in the blanks. Blue-eyed boy asked his awesome mom to help me move, and I realized that I was going to be okay. I loved him so much still, and he would message me when he got drunk or emotional and tell me the same. It seemed almost foolish to be apart when he wasn’t going to see me for years after the month ended.
So we didn’t get back together but we sort of did. It was a unique situation because if I ever did want to see him, I’d have to traverse the world to get to do it after I left, so we tried to make the last month good and happy even if we weren’t actually still dating. I turned in my dissertation and I was so proud of it I burst into happy tears after handing it in. He was proud of me too. We tried a new café together, took walks together, and on the last night before I left, we had dinner and talked and exchanged gifts. His made me angry because it was some academic book about ideology whereas I gave him this heartfelt letter saying goodbye, a notebook where I had written down how I felt about him throughout the last year, and an artsy map of Bristol with all the significant places to us marked on it. But it outlined our personalities well. I cried for days, even weeks when I left.
I still cry if I think about it too much. But the experience, the growth, and the sisterhood I realized through that one percent of suck was all I’ll ever need to know that everything is going to be okay. That’s how you have no regrets in this world, you learn from the suck and it becomes a building block for your character. I still love him, I always will, but I also know now that I can do anything, and I love that more.
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foursprouthappiness-blog · 7 years ago
Text
I Fell In Love Abroad And Honestly? It Completely Sucked.
New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/i-fell-in-love-abroad-and-honestly-it-completely-sucked/
I Fell In Love Abroad And Honestly? It Completely Sucked.
John Sting / Unsplash
When I first decided I was getting my master’s in the United Kingdom, I was ready to go into it with zero attachments. But that’s always when they get you, isn’t it? When your guard is down and you have no plans to commit to anyone or anything, but someone handsome and blue-eyed and strong, with an infuriatingly bright mind, falls into your lap. That’s how it works for everyone right? Now maybe it’s clickbait if I say it sucked when it was truly magnificent for about 99% of the time we were together, which was almost the entire year I spent in the UK. But that one percent of suck broke me open and I poured heartache and sad for what felt like an eternity. Let’s start from the beginning.
I had a friend crush on a girl I thought was super cool, and when she invited me to her place for tea after class I was ecstatic. I’m an enthusiastic and unbearably outgoing American in a colder British society, and even though Bristol had a lively, young scene, I was not their definition of cool. I had a few worldly quirks going for me, like the fact that I was well-traveled, I had this gargantuan curly hair that you couldn’t ignore, and I could not be squished into the “idiot” box lots of Brits love to put around Americans. I was getting a master’s at an esteemed university and if you asked me where Ukraine was or my thoughts on the tannins in a cab sav I had an answer. Now those don’t designate intelligence, but it was enough to keep the “stupid American” commentary at bay. Regardless, I was just happy to be invited out by someone I was intrigued by. I stepped into her flat and met her roommates, and one of them caught my eye. He was tall and well-muscled, he was a really talented musician who was getting his Ph.D. in an environmental field, and his master’s/undergraduate degrees aligned with my interests in politics, international relations, and gender equality. He spoke confidently about obscure political philosophers and ruffled his dirty blonde, fluffy hair, and he would make these silly expressions with his big, blue eyes. I’m not one for the classic look, if I had a type he wouldn’t be it, but I couldn’t help but think that we would have really good…dinner. He looked like he appreciated a good falafel.
The girl and I, let’s call her Rachel, actually did not get along much. She had a condescension in the way she carried herself that was intolerable, and I was too bubbly for her taste. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but few can deny I’m a good friend who has people’s best interests at heart. I’m not bitter, I think. I found my collection of friends and slowly but surely that blue-eyed boy found his way into my contacts, and even though I was committed to not being committed, we went on a few dates. He took me to obscure concerts with his musician friends, he drank a little more than I did and got goofy, and I considered breaking it off gently on the third or fourth date. But his sense of humor got me. It helped that he was attractive and smart, it also helped that he had a creative mind, but when he made me laugh I was like putty in his hands. He had me.
I went on a long trip with some friends and before I left I almost told him I loved him. I bit my tongue. I refused to say it first and I didn’t even know if it was how I felt. So I waited. And when I got back, he picked me up from the station, laid in bed with me for a bit and picked a little fight with me. I feel like he did it due to the incomprehensibility of his own emotions. As I turned my back and started dusting off my metaphorical boxing gloves, he choked up and said: “I think I love you.” I softened immediately. I’m sure he could see it in the way my shoulders relaxed, my head lifted, and my hands fell to my side. I stretched my neck and slowly turned, and I said: “I love you too.” The next 10 months were a whirlwind of emotion and travel, like when we almost missed our flight in Portugal or almost broke up in Madrid, or when I met his entire extended family in Dover and we drank and fought and laughed all night. One time he called me homely and I was incredibly offended until we looked it up and found out that in the UK it meant “cozy” and in the US it meant “unkempt” and we both laughed off the brewing fight; that night we realized there were cultural differences that found their way into our relationship. I cried about my essays to him and he biked over and gave me kisses and I cooked all sorts of experimental vegan meals for him and he brought up all sorts of philosophical questions for us to debate. We fought so hard over our thoughts on a Nicki Minaj video once we both almost ended it then and there. Wine was definitely involved. We were passionate and we were wild and we were really in love. Not even the sheer power of Anaconda could break that.
The day we broke up was less than a week before my dissertation was due. I fell to pieces. I had suggested it. It was my idea and I refused to back down because I still believe it needed to happen. But it felt like grief. Like a loved one had died. I couldn’t tell my friends because they all had the same dissertation due in a matter of days. But my life started ripping at the seams right then. There was no way my dissertation would be done in time when I could not leave my bed. My sheets were soaked through with tears. There was no food in my place but I wasn’t eating anyway. I was disheveled and the only time I got up was to take a hot shower where I just sat on the floor and sobbed. Soap was haphazardly used. My kitchen sink was disturbing. I needed to move the day after my dissertation but nowhere would take an American with a foreign bank for only a month of rent. I had no way to move in a city where most don’t use cars and my money was dwindling. I went to the university doctor for a melatonin prescription so I could maybe sleep, maybe stop having late-night panic attacks about the state of my life, and I sobbed so immediately and so heartrendingly that he suggested a medically-determined extension on my dissertation.
From that day on it all fell into place. I spilled to my friends at our dissertation hand-in brunch that I had nowhere to live and my life was in shambles and I had an extension and I had kept it from them and with the celebratory champagne still in their hands they all figured it out for me on the spot. Two of them offered me their places over the upcoming month, and the rest filled in the blanks. Blue-eyed boy asked his awesome mom to help me move, and I realized that I was going to be okay. I loved him so much still, and he would message me when he got drunk or emotional and tell me the same. It seemed almost foolish to be apart when he wasn’t going to see me for years after the month ended.
So we didn’t get back together but we sort of did. It was a unique situation because if I ever did want to see him, I’d have to traverse the world to get to do it after I left, so we tried to make the last month good and happy even if we weren’t actually still dating. I turned in my dissertation and I was so proud of it I burst into happy tears after handing it in. He was proud of me too. We tried a new café together, took walks together, and on the last night before I left, we had dinner and talked and exchanged gifts. His made me angry because it was some academic book about ideology whereas I gave him this heartfelt letter saying goodbye, a notebook where I had written down how I felt about him throughout the last year, and an artsy map of Bristol with all the significant places to us marked on it. But it outlined our personalities well. I cried for days, even weeks when I left.
I still cry if I think about it too much. But the experience, the growth, and the sisterhood I realized through that one percent of suck was all I’ll ever need to know that everything is going to be okay. That’s how you have no regrets in this world, you learn from the suck and it becomes a building block for your character. I still love him, I always will, but I also know now that I can do anything, and I love that more.
0 notes
theseventhhex · 8 years ago
Text
Pretty Vicious Interview
Pretty Vicious
Merthyr Tydfil four piece Pretty Vicious have been hunkered down in the studio over the past few months, writing and recording their debut album due on Virgin EMI. Alongside their biggest UK tour to date and having played a host of summer festivals, the band has made huge strides and gained recognition from many leading media outlets. 2017 looks certain to be a year that will propel the boys to new heights, as the band’s forward-thinking style echoes with beguiling appeal… We talk to drummer Elliot Jones about embracing patience, Pearl Jam and the Pittsburgh Steelers…
TSH: Last year was more of a behind the scenes type of year for Pretty Vicious - lots of recording and working with different producers. Are you gearing up for a more extensive 2017?
Elliot: Ah man, we’re all really excited about 2017. Last year, we spent a good third of the year recording our debut album. We’ve got so much material ready for the record and now everything is in place. Right now, we’re simply getting ready for release dates, mixing and mastering - all the stuff that we have no control over. It’s pretty much a waiting game now, but we’re so close to where we want to be.
TSH: Has the patience factor lead to a more unified band viewpoint?
Elliot: Oh, yeah, for sure. We’ve definitely embraced the patience, especially bearing in mind that we started at such a young age. I think the recent time off has helped us mature as a band too. To have time on the sidelines can be a good thing.
TSH: With each member bringing something unique to the creative process, would you say bounce off each other with ideas?
Elliot: Yeah, totally. We just enjoy each other’s company so much and that normally means we’re able to create new music pretty seamlessly. Obviously, certain days we are more switched on than others. I guess the song dictates the mood for things to come across in a satisfying manner. No matter how intense the process might get or however calm it is, the main thing is we always require the song to be solid.
TSH: How would you summarise the narrative on the debut record?
Elliot: I think the material on our new record is definitely a step away from previous themes we’ve covered. You can’t really escape the world’s weird vibe right now and that makes its way into our songwriting, for sure. I guess the general viewpoint of this debut is about youth, and that’s simply because we wrote it from the viewpoint of being very young individuals. I like that our songs are simply a true reflection of who we are at a given time.
TSH: Talk us through bringing ‘Blister’ together…
Elliot: ‘Blister’ came about from a jam, we were literally in our unit and we decided to jam out a garage type song in the vein of ‘Are You Ready for Me’, but with a bit more of a ballsy feel. We played that track for like a day straight and then went away and worked at it individually. We soon came back to it, and after a week we had fully-formed song.
TSH: Each song requires its own timeframe for completion, as was the case with ‘Cave Song’ and ‘Are You Ready for Me’…
Elliot: Yeah, exactly. ‘Are You Ready for Me’ took four months to get fully formed whilst ‘Cave Song’ came together in one day. We never give up with our musical ideas and always stick with it. I think the spines of the tunes are always there. I guess we tend to deliberate further on making a song more cohesive and having more of a kick to it.
TSH: Does ‘Black and Blue’ signify a darker undertone?
Elliot: ‘Black and Blue’ was written from Brad’s perspective and the meaning of the song is quite dark. The song is about a bad relationship with family and it’s written in a very extreme form surrounding this idea. The topic of the song is Brad arguing with his family. I guess it’s different to the other songs because it’s kind of giving a message that one can interpret how they want, whereas our other songs have maybe clearer messages.
TSH: What defines Pretty Vicious’ live offerings?
Elliot: Personally, what matters most to me, and I‘m sure the rest of the band would agree with me, is to vibe off of the energy of the crowd. It also makes sense to play the room well too. Obviously you need to sound great, but essentially it’s all about having a connection with your audience and getting a good vibe. I mean you could be perfect in many ways, but if the crowd are bored, then what’s the point. Engaging the crowd is so vital.
TSH: Are you itching to get back in the touring cycle, after months out?
Elliot: I cannot wait! You know, since we signed, this is the longest stretch of not playing shows that we’ve had. I feel like I’m getting withdrawal symptoms, ha!
TSH: What’s been the biggest hurdle you’ve faced as a band to date?
Elliot: Honestly, it’s probably the fact that we started so young and didn’t know what we were doing. At first, we were simply lead, and we were following. I mean we’d only played four gigs before we actually got signed. The early six months of our career, during which we played Isle of Wight and Glastonbury, was us guys just winging it. I guess we overcame the hurdle of improving so much a year after playing the festivals I just mentioned. We had no idea that we had it in us to get so good and so united.
TSH: And you’ve mentioned Merthyr keeps you grounded…
Elliot: Yeah, we live normal lives when we get back to Merthyr and that’s what I love about the place, there’s no pressure. I guess being a band from Manchester or London would perhaps mean that the band is the only thing that matters, but being situated in Merthyr, it’s so low key. No one really knows us or cares (in a good way, of course) and it’s a very casual atmosphere out here. We each live like normal teens do in our town, which is reflected in our songwriting too.
TSH: Are Pearl Jam amongst some of your favourites bands of all time?
Elliot: Yeah, they’re one of my favourite bands and I watch them on YouTube a lot. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen the video of them live at Pinkpop in 1992… Eddie Vedder is so talented and a proper legend. I especially like their album ‘Vs’, that one was a masterpiece.
TSH: Also, sports keep you occupied during your downtime?
Elliot: I love football, but I also love the NFL. I’m a Pittsburgh Steelers fan. Maybe they can win it this year; after all, they have such an amazing offence, with players like Antonio Brown and Levion Bell.
TSH: As you look ahead, what’s you biggest drive with Pretty Vicious?
Elliot: For us, it’s just all about giving the fans what they want. We’re obviously looking to get as big as we can too. I mean if you’re in a band and you don’t strive to be as big as you can, then you’re either lying or you shouldn’t be in a band. But, yeah, we feel confident and happy about the year ahead. I can’t wait for our fans to hear the record and I look forward to meeting some of them on the road.
Pretty Vicious - “Blister”
Blister - Single
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