#whereas Charlie also doesn’t like seeing people hurt but she’s much more part of hell than he is

[lichtbrenger]

Obsessed with the idea that lucifer has a very strange, tilted moral compass. Like he seems so squeamish about certain things. For example i can imagine him being terrible about seeing others in pain or hurt (how fragile sinners are, that’s scary!), which he thinks makes him an oddity among his people, thus proving hes better than the low life sinners who only want to hurt others and are worth very little. Do you see the spiral 😵‍💫

[apicturewithasmile]

LOST rewatch (season 1):

[follow the entire rewatch-tag here]

episodes 1 and 2 – Pilot:

Jack’s Angel Hair Pasta speech is making my eyes roll so far back up my head that it hurts

Kate speaks the first “we have to go back (for him)” around minute 39 of ep1

I forgot how incredibly sexy Naveen Andrews is

John Locke doesn’t speak his first line until minute 23 of ep2 when he explains Backgammon to Walt – his iconic Orange Smile scene and the Sitting In The Rain On The Beach scene actually both happen before he gets to speak

episode 3 – Tabula Rasa:

Oh, it’s the first “previously on LOST”

the sheer loathsomeness of that fucking US marshal… ugh

Michael: “I will get your dog back as soon as it stops raining.” – rain: *stops*

Wash Away playing in the final scene

that last shot that made John look like he was gonna be some mysterious villain character when actually he’s just the jungle philosopher who talks to the island

episode 4 – Walkabout:

yaaay, the first boar action

I can’t believe they waited until the airplane food was all eaten up before they thought about finding food on the island

that asshole from the office who’s bullying John makes me so angry

“don’t tell me what I can’t do” makes its first appearance at minute 21 and is quickly followed a mere minute later by the second appearance

totally forgot that John is actually the first one to see Smokey – and that early on in the show?!

Uuuuuuh first time we see ghost!Christian Shephard

Do we really think John killed that boar on his own or did Smokey help him?

episode 5 – White Rabbit:

there’s so many times they say “the others” before there’s even any sign of The Others™ I’m starting to wonder whether it’s intentional

the best thing about Jack-centric episodes is Christian Shephard (I got it hard for daddy Shephard okay!??!?!)

do Australians really sound like that or did they mainly cast American actors for the scenes that take place in Sydney?

aaaaand there they are, the Jears (Jack tears)

episode 6 – House of the Rising Sun:

god I love Sun and Jin, I hate how underrated all of their flashbacks are

bless the bad CGI bees

look! it’s Mother’s first appearance

episode 7 – The Moth:

ugh it’s a Charlie episode -.-‘

headcanon: Jacob made that cave collapse because he wanted to get rid of Charlie

John believing and being proud in Charlie makes this episode worthwhile for me

episode 8 – Confidence Man:

Kate is actually carrying a… bundle??? of bananas over her shoulder. What’s mote #jungle aesthetic?

John you manipulative bastard, I love you!!!! I can’t wait for Not Henry Gale to join you into an endless manipulation play-off

I honestly can’t remember whether or not Sawyer and Sayid will ever work out their issues in the later seasons and actually get a somewhat friendship?! I don’t remember any bro-scenes between them which is a shame tbh.

Boone: “She’s my sister!” – god how did I think it was totally reasonable to turn this into an incetuous romance?!

episode 9 – Solitary:

Yaaaaaaaaaasssss it’s Sayid’s first episode which also means: DANIELLE ROUSSEAU!!!

I am a big Shannon/Sayid shipper but I can really understand the folks who ship Kate with Sayid. It would have been soooo much better than the love triangle of hell.

And I hate that Sayid doesn’t speak Arabic in his flashbacks. I get, Naveen Andrews doesn’t speak it but… they made Daniel Dae Kim speak Korean even tho he couldn’t?!?! It’s a bit of inconsistency that annoys the crap out of me.

I’m moaning a lot considering this is my fav show… there’s just… a couple of things about season 1 that always been bothering me.

OH MY GOD IT’S CREEPY ETHAN!!!

Danielle looks so fucking good and so does Sayid fnfsdkgnjkngjdfh my bi senses are tingling.

episode 10 – Raised By Another:

Claire’s nightmare is super fucking disturbing

Her ex is literally the most annoying fuckboy and I have absolutely forgotten about him for a good reason. What an asshole.

Kate’s been wearing the same green short for at least the past 3 episodes… which… I get because clothing is limited on the island but it reminds me of the Simpsons’ wardrobe

The fact Creepy Ethan™ is there after Claire wakes up the second time saying she’s been attacked should have been the biggest #clue.

Hurley getting the flight manifest from Sawyer by just… talking to him… my aesthetic!

The “Ethan is creepy”-reveal is soooooo well done gjfsngkngdg

episode 11 – All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues:

More Terry O’Quinn close ups please!!!

I love that John is “of course Kate is coming along” and just hands her a knife whereas Jack is always like “no, don’t come along, this is #dangerous” – like… by now we should all know there’s no stopping Kate!

John predicting the rain is one of my fav scenes.

Wooooow they discovered the hatch THAT early in the season?!??!

episode 12 – Whatever The Case May Be:

Sawyer really shouldn’t go swimming in sweet water with his wounded arm.

I love Rose :’)

okay this episode was kinda underwhelming but that might be because I remembered what was in the case

episode 13 – Hearts and Minds:

I do not remember this episode title AT ALL so I have no idea what to expect

Aaaaaah I think it’s the Shannon and Boone incest episode which explains why I have forgotten about it – one of the most unnecessary plots in the history of LOST ever

How is Boone still friends with Locke after this whole bondage mess? Nevermind, John could do anything to me and I’d still follow him to the end of the world.

“PEE ON IT!”

episode 14 – Special:

I hate that Michael’s ex took his son away from him. She shouldn���t have put him in that position. I hate her.

What is it with Michael and car accidents?

and now she’s clearing her bad conscience with money. I HATE HER!

And now Charlie’s reading Claire’s diary – I hate him, too!

Aaaand here comes the bad CGI polar bear

Every time John Locke smiles an angel gets its wings.

Claire is already back?!?!?!?

episode 15 – Homecoming:

Wait…. Is this already when they kill Creepy Ethan? If so then I really liked this episode. Probably the only moment I truly liked Charlie.

The Scott/Steve-joke never gets old.

I love that Sawyer organised a gun for Kate. If I absolutely had to ship any combination of the love triangle of hell it’d be Kate and Sawyer… but only because Juliet isn’t in the picture yet.

episode 16 – Outlaws:

Oh it’s the Sawyer versus boar episode, I love that one!

Sayid you sassy fucker, I love you!!!

I love that they made the “I never…” scene so long.

“You’re not alone – don’t pretend to be!” is exactly what I needed to hear right now, thanks Sayid!

episode 17 - …In Translation:

How are Sun and Jin both so incredibly beautiful? Newsflash: I’m bisexual!

Hurley, my lovely empathetic sunshine!

Is it just me or is Michael’s first raft bigger than the second version?

John back at it again with the jungle philosophy.

“WE ARE NOT THE ONLY PEOPLE AN THIS ISLAND AND WE ALL KNOW IT!!!!” you go John, tell them!!!

Aaaah Jin’s father aka the only good father in the entire show!

episode 18 – Numbers:

FINALLY!!!

John building the cradle with Claire for the baby is breaking my heart. Jungle grandpa Locke <3

I’d love for the monster to have been a “pissed off giraffe”

DANIELLE IS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL

episode 19 – Deus Ex Machina:

Awwww I forgot that John worked in a toy shop – that’s so cute

Damn he looks so much better without hair than he does with it

Anthony fucking Cooper you disgusting weasel of a human being

I just remembered that the “Deus” that’s in the “Machina” is Desmond Hume, my Scottish puppy – can’t wait for him to be there doing his thing

God that moment with the light is sooooo good! That’s when I was #hooked the first time I watched the show.

And I just remembered: that’s John saving Desmond’s life there and Desmond saving John’s life and rgkdabgdlkgndg

episode 20 – Do No Harm:

Jack doesn’t deserve this wonderful wife…. And I really don’t like the whole “fixing things” trope that surrounds his character.

Oh riiiiiight, Claire’s having the baby while Boone dies. I totally forgot about that. I love it!

Sun is soooo strong in this episode, I love her!

Jack: “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!” – I think this is the first time someone other than John said it.

god it’s so fucking tragic with everyone looking at the baby while Shannon gets told the news her brother died. it’s too much for my tiny heart

episode 21 – The Greater Good:

John it ain’t really helping that you still drowned in Boone’s blood, my guy, my buddy, my pal.

Sayid saying “I know when I’m being lied to.” is kinda foreshadowing the whole Henry Gale affaire because he was the only one who wouldn’t take any of Ben’s shit for even a second.

Sayid: “You’ve never fired a gun before!” – Shannon: *fires gun*

episode 22 – Born To Run:

judging by the title of this it’s gonna be a Kate episode

ah yes…. The horrible blond wig. I mean…. How bad must a wig be to see it’s a wig from behind?!??!?!

episodes 23-25 – Exodus:

jhbdfajksfg it’s Ana Lucia, bless her, my lovely angry smol child

it was absolutely not necessary to show Sawyer with his shirt off but I ain’t complaining

anyways… when will I ever have enough time and money to go to Hawaii?

That Walt/Shannon/Vincent-moment breaks my heart big time.

The Black Rock being an old ass ship was one of the biggest plot twists the first time I watched.

The parts of Arzt flesh raining down on our guys was really more realism than needed

IT’S SMOKEY!!!! Yaaaasssss!

Has there ever been a better finale for the first season of a show ever?

[bazwillendinflames]

The Last Ones Standing

Co-written with @gleek-runner so go give Angy love too!

-

The past few days had been quite tough for April. Well, hard and exceptional, but lately she wasn’t so sure whether living an unique life was worthy of such a heavy price. Especially after the events of their little ‘space detention’ April missed her normal and perhaps dull life more than anything. The entire group had been torn apart by the truth. Ram still wouldn’t pick up her calls. She didn’t even know if they were still together. He had said he would be 'playing the field’ but all April had seen him do was act passive-aggressively towards anyone who spoke to him.

It all seemed like some kind of karma. They had become friends after a crazy, unexpected prom and now they had been torn apart by another even crazier, unexpected circumstance. Yet perhaps that was just her fate or maybe that was just the world. Nothing good ever lasted.

The thoughts were a constant torture to her. The that thoughts had burrowed themselves inside her mind had cost her many sleepness nights. (Or maybe it was the Shadow King not letting her sleep and causing her heart ache). However, now she was finally being normal again. Well, at least she was facing a normal situation.

Charlie was the only one of their small group who still spoke to her. It was a small relief to have one person who could still be considered a friend.

Charlie always looked exhausted, like he was surviving off three hour naps. He must have suffered the most, April couldn’t help thinking, he found out his boyfriend was afraid of him, that his friends thought he was stupid (which he wasn’t) and that miss Quill was somehow free in the space of one day. It was almost a miracle he was still surviving, in more ways than one.

So she shouldn’t really be the one complaining. She had only lost Ram -which didn’t sound exactly right because Ram wasn’t a random thing to have lost, he was special and April’s heart was broken as a result - whereas Charlie had lost everything. Again. She tried to block these bad thoughts from her mind and tried to smile. Maybe if she smiled bright enough, Charlie would believe that everything was alright. Maybe she would believe that too.

“Hey,” he greeted as sat across from her. It was a mean thought but Charlie looked worse up close. His hair was a mess and he had purple rings under his eyes. April was glad she had suggested meeting up for coffee, Charlie looked like he needed at least ten.

“Hey,” she replied and sat across him. Charlie looked at her as if he was expecting her to say something. She really should, if only she knew how to have a normal talk with an alien after they almost died and had every bond that connected them broken. She could probably try some small talk, anything that would make her feel more normal. “So, how have you been coping?”

“Terrible. Quill has fallen into a coma and is yet to wake up, my boyfriend moved out and everyone I once cared about is still dead.” April had forgotten how brutally honest Charlie was. He didn’t hold back, which was often funny but in this case was heartbreaking. “Do you want a drink?”

“Um, yeah,” April answered, slightly taken aback. One second Charlie was on about what a terrible mess their life had become and the other he was asking her if she wanted coffee. Typical of him. Although, this really wasn’t the time to think about Charlie’s tedency to jump from one subject to another and overall being more straightforward than others.

“Great,” Charlie replied. He joined the queue for drinks leaving April some time to process what he had said.

Miss Quill was unconscious. That was slightly worrying but it did explain why he hadn’t been hurt by her yet. He was still upset about Rhodia, which was unsurprising. It was the news about Matteusz that was the most surprising. They always seemed to have the kind of close bond that none of them came close to. It didn’t seem like Matteusz to just leave Charlie. It seemed like even he had his limit.

That thought alone made her understand just how serious things had been. How unfixable. Matteusz would never leave Charlie, let alone be afraid of him, it just seemed impossible. He always looked at Charlie with nothing but adoration and as if he was afraid of he was to going to leave. Just the fact that something so beautiful and strong was now nothing more but shattered pieces terrified her. She could only imagine how Charlie felt.

There she was, wanting to feel normal again by going out and have a normal talk while Charlie didn’t have that luxury. She, at least, could go back to a normal home with her Mum. The only normal thing Charlie had was Matteusz and now even he was gone.

“Here,” Charlie said, sliding one of the coffees towards her. He pulled the lid off his own and poured in four packets of sugar. (He had a major sweet tooth.)

“Thanks.” April took a tiny sip. “Charlie, if Quill’s unconscious and Matteusz left-” his faux-smile dropped, “-who is looking after you?”

“I do. I mean I try.” Charlie smiled and took a large sip from his sugary coffee.“Taking care of myself isn’t really hard, even before Quill was unconscious I had to be the one taking care of myself. Her job was to keep me unharmed from any physical pain.” Charlie’s words made her smile apologetically. She couldn’t imagine how hard taking care of both himself and miss Quill would be.

“If you want any help with something,” she began “you can ask me. I would love to help as much as I can.”

“That’s nice.” Charlie frowned. “I’m more worried about Quill. I hope she wakes up before her babies try to eat her.”

April almost choked on her drink. “Sorry, what?”

“Baby Quills eat their mother before birth, that way they gain strength, it’s the mothers’ last gift to them. Everybody knows it,” Charlie explained, while April still stared at him in shock.

“So miss Quill might die?”

“I don’t know. She’s not in-” Charlie looked suddenly guilty, “anyway I need to talk to the Doctor but I don’t have his phone number. Quill does.”

“What happened to her?”

“I don’t know. She wasn’t even gone that long. Even if it felt like we were trapped there for a lifetime.”

“It really was the detention from hell.”

“Yeah, it was,” Charlie laughed dryly. “Although, I fear that the real hell hasn’t began yet.”

“No matter what comes our way, we’ll get through it together.”

“Just you and me?” Charlie asked. “Because I’m not sure if the others still want to help.”

“I have faith in them. They might still be angry but-” April wasn’t so certain if saying they were still friends was a good idea. She wasn’t sure it was true.

“But nothing. They hate me. Even Matteusz can’t stand talking to me. And I thought he was the only person who really cared about me.”

“He does care.” April tried to comfort him. “Matteusz loves you. Plus what happened in detention doesn’t really matter.”

“It was the truth.”

“A bad truth,” April argued. “What we confessed that day was the ugly parts of their truth, not the entire thing.”

Charlie looked at her with eyes eager to believe her. He did want to believe her. More than anything. “So what you said about not loving Ram was true?”

“Feelings are complicated.”

“Like fear?”

“I haven’t been dating Ram as long as you and Matteusz have been dating. We’re still in the early days. He falls fast and Rachel hasn’t been dead that long. He’s still grieving her.” April couldn’t help feeling guilty. “The truth I said was true. But it was also scared.”

“So, you don’t love him?”

“No,” April admitted. It seemed harsh, so she added more, “not yet at least. It’s different for you.”

“Different truths, same consequences. We have both lost our boyfriends.”

“I guess that’s true.” April smiled bitterly, a faint sadness visible in her face. “The only difference is that you’ll get back together with Matteusz.”

“April-”

“Trust me on this,” she whispered. “We won’t be sad forever. You won’t be sad forever.”

“That’s very optimistic.”

“I choose to see the glass half full.”

“It feels like I will,” Charlie said quietly. “It feels like I’ll never stop being sad.”

“Don’t say that,” April protested. Part of her (the glass half empty part) agreed with him. If Charlie was depressed there was only so much that could be done. But if she could defeat the evils of the world with a smile, she would.

“It’s not fair.”

“I know, but life isn’t fair.” Of course April knew that better than anybody. From a very young age she was forced to learn about the unfairness of life.“Life has both good things and bad.”

“Seems like I’m constantly on the bad side of life.”

“Not for long, Charlie. Not for long.”

“Can you promise that? Can you guarantee that I’ll be happy for the rest of my life?”

“No one can promise that.”

“I wish I had just skipped the detention.”

“Me too,” April said and took another small sip from her coffee. It was starting to get cold.

“At least we have each other. One friend is an improvement from Rhodia.”

“The people we love will find a way to forgive us,” April said. It sounded dangerously like a promise. Her mum had said the same thing to her about Ram.

“We can only hope.”

[fellowshipofteamfreewillassemble]

Rant Time

Okay, so I’m going to rant about Supernatural now, and if I lose followers, so be it. This will also contain spoilers from the most recent episode, so if you haven’t seen it and you have plans to see it, I would stop reading now.

I’m relatively new to the fandom, I only started watching a few years ago, back when season 10 was on live. I caught up on all nine season on Netflix within a month (I know I have no life) so that I could begin watching the show live. 

I love the show, but I feel like it’s lost the fire that used to drive it. Looking back on all the seasons, I feel like it actually started losing a bit of the fire after season 5, when they originally planned to end it, and little by little it’s just been dying each season. 

I miss Castiel, the way he used to be. I miss his original trenchcoat, I miss his original tie, I miss the angels being in Heaven and having their wings, and I miss the BA Cas that we met at the beginning. 

I know this is a fairly unpopular opinion, but I am sick and tired of the angels and demons. I miss the way the first five seasons were. Yes, angels and demons played a big part in those seasons, but it’s all just become rather dull and repetitive. 

I can see why the writers have continued, but honestly to me, it kinda feels like they’re just going because the fandom is getting bigger and even more popular than it already was, and yes, that is something to be proud of. But honestly, once Kripke left, I feel like the writing started going downhill. 

Season 6? Okay, yeah, it was pretty good. Soulless Sam? Interesting. Didn’t like Cas keeping secrets from the boys, didn’t like him going crazy and thinking he was God, but all in all, not bad, especially considering they weren’t originally going to keep going after 5, so I can understand why that writing might have felt a little forced. 

Season 7? Leviathans? Okay, that’s pretty cool to have a monster be the driving force behind a season. Not bad. But you killed Bobby. No bueno :( Yes, I know he’s come back for a few episodes here and there, but he was honestly their father, and they killed him. Do Sam and Dean really have to go through this heartache of losing a father-figure all over again?

Season 8? Eh, not my favorite, but it did introduce us to Kevin, whom I loved. I also thought to shut the gates of Hell was an interesting idea, but noooooo. They squashed that idea and kept them open. I understand that without the gates being open, a lot of these different plot points wouldn’t work, but *shrug* maybe they should have stopped at 8?

Season 9? Okay, dealing with the ramifications of angels being cast out, which was eh, interesting, but now they’re not the all-powerful beings they once were. It’s commonplace to run into an angel in the show now, whereas before, it was only a few that we knew, which made it seem more awe-inspiring. Plus, you killed Kevin. Way. To. Go. Why? Why was Kevin killed? That made no sense. 

Season 10? Oooh, Dean’s a demon, that could be coo-oh wait. It’s over. He’s not a demon anymore. Oh, and Chuck is still alive, so there’s that. Dean and Crowley are besties. That’s weird. Oh look, they found a book that can help remove the mark from Dean’s arm, which they do, but they also kill Death. I mean, that provides some interesting theories on whether Death could actually be killed or not, but oh no! Something terrible is released. PLUS YOU KILLED CHARLIE, THAT TOOK IT WAY TOO FAR. WHY DID SHE HAVE TO DIE? There was literally no reason for her to die, other than to release Dean’s inner deanmon, but I feel like that could have been released in other ways besides killing an amazing character :/

Season 11? I dunno, I just feel really uncomfortable with the whole “let’s play around with God and his angels, and make Lucifer kinda seem like he could be a good guy, he was just misunderstood.” And then, while I’m glad no one had to die at the end, Amara’s whole “I just wanted you to love me like you loved your creations” felt like a bit of a copout. Anticlimactic. But hey, it left off on a killer cliffhanger, what with Sam being captured and Mary being brought back. I thought it was an interesting way to end. 

Now we’re at season 12. It started off, and it showed a lot of promise. Sam was captured by the BMoL, there was whump and torture, protective Dean and Mary, yeah. Plus, they promised there would be more monster hunting, which I have sorely missed. And while there has been more monster hunting, I think what I miss the most was the atmosphere of the first few seasons. I have a lot to say on the matter of season 12, so if you’re still reading and you don’t hate me yet, I definitely have more to say on the matter. 

I understand why they brought Mary back, and not some of the other characters. Sam and Dean got to know the other characters fairly well before they were killed, and while I would have loved to see Ellen, Jo, Charlie, Kevin, Bobby, or any of the others brought back as well, I understand why they chose Mary. The boys needed a mother, and Amara had seen the pictures of the Winchester family, so she knew about Mary. She didn’t know about the others. But! As soon as Mary gets here, she runs off, which I also kind of understand, but really? You’re dead for that long and you don’t want to see or interact with your sons at all? And then you go and join forces with the BMoL, who tortured one of your sons. Where is the logic in that? 

Also, Mary and Ketch???? GROOOOOOSSSSSS! No no no no no no no no do not like at all. Plus, I liked Mick. He stood up for what he believed in finally, and he was killed for it. And no preamble, just BAM and he was gone. Seriously?? Ugh. 

And like I’ve said before, I feel very uncomfortable with the whole “Lucifer” plotline. Yes, my religious beliefs have a huge part to play in that. So sue me. I don’t like that the Devil is being personified as someone the fandom really loves. Plus, I hate the fact that he now has a kid. I do not like that at all. 

I just feel like the writers are writing more angst for no reason; there doesn’t need to be this much angst. Plus, being in the fandom now kinda scares me a little. Do NOT call me a fake fan if I don’t ship Destiel. That’s not what the show is about, and I don’t ship it. If you do, fine. I’m not going to try and change your mind, but don’t you DARE tell me that I’m wrong because I don’t ship it. I hardly ship any relationships in any show, unless it’s canon, and them I usually like “Aw, that’s cute.” The only people I ship are Jack and Diane, and Bozer and Riley, and both of them happen to be from MacGyver. 

I have a lot more to say on the subject, but for the sake of people reading this, I’m just going to end it here. If you read all the way to the end, thanks for listening to my long rant, and I’m sorry if I offended you. This is not meant to be a post to attack anyone, but I’m simply stating my opinion about the show. It honestly kinda hurts me to say all of this, because the show has meant so much to me.