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wwooyology · 3 days ago

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Blistering Heat | J.WY

「pairing」 : wooyoung x fem!reader 「word count」 : 3.7k

「synopsis」 : you started to notice changes in wooyoung's behavior, it was as if he was avoiding you entirely. he was going into a rut and kept trying to push you away, but you'd be dammed if you'd let him go through it alone.

「genre」 : hybrid!au, fox hybrid!wooyoung, human!reader, a small bit of fluff, smut (honestly just pure filth I'm ngl)

「warnings」 : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!, cussing, kissing, wooyoung goes into his rut (obvi.), clit play, unprotected sex, dom!wooyoung x sub!reader, big dick!wooyoung, rough and messy sex, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, squirting, messy makeout, petnames (baby, babydoll, sweetheart, pup...), biting/marking, licking, blood, slight degradation and praising, EXTREAM breeding, possessiveness, manhandling, dumbification, subspace mentioned, dirty talk, derogatory names (cocksleeve), knotting, creampie, slight cockwarming, reader does say no but only because of pleasure (everything is consensual!), hair pulling, choking, slight breath play, dacryphilia, begging, slight pain kink, forced orgasm, lmk if I missed anything!!

「notes」 : I may or may not have gone just a little stir-crazy with this one 🤓☝ I just started writing, and my fingers wouldn't stop... but here is an additional part for all of those who wanted another fic with fox hybrid!wooyoung!! I hope you enjoy lovelies!

You sat at the kitchen table with a warm cup of tea in your hands as you watched the doorway, a distant look in your eyes. Wooyoung had been acting weird for the past week. It started with him not wanting to be within a certain distance of you, to avoid you at all costs. He even stopped sleeping in the bedroom with you and would lock himself in the guest room without so much as a word. You had tried to talk to him and ask if there was anything wrong, but he would brush you off, saying he was fine.

It was some time after twelve that you saw him creep into the dining room, his fuzzy ears twitching as he looked around. As soon as his eyes met yours, he quickly averted his gaze, trying to push down the overwhelming heat that was building in his gut.

“There’s food on the stove.” You told him, trying to offer him a smile, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes.

“Thanks.” Wooyoung felt horrible that he was treating you like this but he’s never dealt with a rut when he was around another person, much less a human or someone he loved dearly. He was worried that he would scare you off.

You let out a deep sigh when he disappeared through the kitchen door. You wanted to understand what was going on, but he was making it hard when he wouldn’t even speak more than two words to you. Setting your now lukewarm tea down on the table, you pulled your phone from the pocket of your cardigan. You were determined to determine what was going on, whether or not he’d tell you.

Wooyoung slipped past you once more with a bottle of water in his hand, his gaze filled with guilt when you wouldn’t even look up at him. Swallowing thickly, he walked out of the dining room and made his way back to the guest room, where he would lock himself in for the next few days.

Opening your phone you went to the first person that you could think of that might have the answers you’re looking for. Hitting the green button you placed the phone against your ear, listening to the rings. After the third ring you heard the line connect before her voice flowed through the speaker.

“Hello?”

“Hey Leila, it’s y/n.” You greeted her with a smile; it had been a while since you’d heard her voice.

“Y/n! How are you?” Leila asked, a chirp in her voice as you heard her rustling from the other side of the phone.

“I’m… okay. I actually had a question.”

“Is everything okay? It’s not the hunters again, is it?” She asked a sense of urgency in her tone to which you quickly reassured her that it wasn’t the hunters, that they hadn’t shown their faces in a while.

“It’s actually Wooyoung.” You started to explain to her everything that had been happening for the last week, and by the time you were done, she had let out a short burst of giggles. Confused, your eyebrows scrunched together, “What’s so funny? I’m actually worried something might be wrong, and I want to help.”

“Babe… he’s starting his rut.” Her words left you stunned because why hadn’t that crossed your mind? But what stunned you even more were the new few words that left her lips, “If you really want to help, the best you can do is offer yourself to him.”

–

Later that night, after getting out of the shower, you walked into your room with your towel wrapped tightly around your body. Just as you were about to grab your shirt, you heard a loud bang from the other room. Panic filled your veins, and you completely forgot about your clothes and darted out of your room.

“Wooyoung, are you okay?” Your voice shook as you knocked rapidly on the guest bedroom door, but there was no response. Listening carefully, you could hear his labored breathing from the other side, which only caused you to worry even more. “Wooyoung, open the door.”

“Go away, y/n.” His voice was stern, but you could still hear the pain underneath. He had to have been fighting this off for a while now and it made you feel guilty that you didn’t notice before.

“I just wanna help Woo.” Your tone softened as you wrapped your fingers around the doorknob, but you knew right away it was locked when it wouldn’t budge.

“You can’t help me; just go back to– ugh!” He was cut off by a groan, and you acted quickly, rushing back to your room to grab the spare key before going back to the door.

“Stop being so stubborn, and let me help!” You scold the boy through the door as you knock, wanting to give him a chance to open it himself before you barged in. However, he didn’t give you a response, but you could hear his low growls. “You have three seconds to open this door before I open it myself.” You tried to sound authoritative, but there was still a slight tremor in your voice from the worry that was digging its claws into your spine.

You heard him grumble something from inside the room but couldn’t quite make it out. Giving him a few more moments, you started to insert the key into the keyhole.

“One.”

“Stop, y/n, I don’t want to hurt you.” You could hear the pain in his voice before the sound of another crash was heard, causing you to jump.

“You’re not going to hurt me, Woo. I trust you.” There was a softness in your tone that lured the fox to the door, his hand resting on the doorknob as he fought his inner turmoil. What if he really did hurt you? Would you forgive him? What if he scared you away? He didn’t think he would be able to live with himself if he did, but– “Please, Wooyoung.”

At the pleading tone in your voice, the last bit of his willpower faded away, and he unlocked the door before tearing it open.

A gasp fell from your lips when he appeared in front of you. His raven hair was a mess, and his ears sat flat on his head as if he were awaiting your lecture. His eyes were trained on your face, a small scowl resting upon his features, but despite all of that, you reached forward, cupping his cheek in your hand.

“God, you’re burning up.” Your voice was soft, your thumb brushing under the skin of his eye. Wooyoung closed his eyes, a low purr emitting from his throat from your touch. Until another sudden wave of heat rushed over his body, and he doubled over.

You cried out his name before rushing to his side, worried that this might just be something more than his rut. Yet when he raised his head, you almost had to step back from the borderline predatory gleam in his eyes. That was also when he noticed that you were in nothing but a plain white towel that barely reached mid-thigh.

Inhaling deeply, you moved closer to him as he rose back up, his eyes never leaving your form. With shaky hands, you reached down for his hand before bringing it up to your neck. Wooyoung’s pupils dilated as he felt your quickened pulse under his fingertips, almost salivating at the thought of biting into your skin. Marking you officially as his and his alone.

“I want to help Youngie.” The slight whine in your tone caused him to let out a low growl before his fingers wrapped around the delicate skin of your neck, pulling you closer to him. A choked whimper fell from your lips as you looked up at him, fingers lazily wrapping around his wrist but making no move to pull him away.

His eyes searched yours for any sign of hesitation, but all he saw was unbridled lust and need. Leaning his head down just far enough to let his nose bump against yours, he spoke in a low, growly tone.

“Are you sure? Once I start, I won’t be able to stop. No matter how much you beg.” His words send a shiver down your spine. The simple thought of him being so lost in his animalistic pleasure to the point where he’s completely ruining you made your core ache.

You bring your face just centimeters away from his, looking deep into his hooded eyes, “Ruin me then, Woo.”

Those words were the straw that broke the camel's back. His lips surged forward, crashing into yours at a bruising speed. He was moving so quickly that you could barely keep up with him, even as he released your neck.

“Woo…” You breathed out as he snatched the towel from your body, letting the cool air of the room nip at your bare skin. His lips trailed down your neck, leaving sloppy kisses in his wake. His nose pressed right against your jugular as he inhaled deeply, fingers tracing the curves of your body until he got to your hip.

“Fuck, you’re going to be the death of me, sweetheart.” He growled against your skin as he moved further down, cupping your bare heat in the palm of his hand. A small whimper fell from your lips as he parted your folds, tracing his fingertips along your slit before pressing down on your clit. “Oh, you’re already soaked, babydoll. Does the thought of me ravishing your body turn you on so much?”

“Woo– fuck! Please.” You begged the fox, staring up at him with needy eyes, causing his dick to twitch in his pants, the last bit of his sanity slowly melting away.

Without so much as a word, he lifted your body from the ground before walking over to the bed and throwing you down onto the soft mattress. As soon as your back hit the mattress, Wooyoung was all over you, slotted right between your thighs. His lips traced every curve of your body, licking, nipping, and marking any part of your skin he could reach until you were withering underneath him.

“Youngie.” You whined, fingers threading through his soft locks until you met with the base of his ears. A low growl seeped from his throat as you gently tugged on one of his ears.

“I need to be in you, babydoll. I need to fuck your slutty little cunt until you’re filled to the brim with my seed. Until I’ve bred you properly.” His words came out in a low tone as he bit at your collarbone, slightly harder than before, nearly drawing blood. The sweet sound of your whimper went straight to his cock that was straining against his sweats.

His words left your mind spiraling. The thought of being so full of just him had your aching cunt clenching around nothing. A soft moan fell from your mouth as you pulled him back up to your swollen lips, sealing them with his in a hungry kiss.

“Yours.” You breathed out, eyes half-lidded as he pulled away, “All yours, Woo, please.”

It was then that the last bit of his sanity flew right out the window, his instincts fully taking over as he quite literally ripped his clothes from his body. Your aching cunt quivered at the sight of his throbbing cock, standing proudly against his lower stomach.

“Gonna fuck you so good.” He growled as he took his cock into his hand, using his precum to slide up and down the length. “Everyone will know you’re mine. All mine.”

You barely had time to process what was happening as he grabbed your legs right behind your knees, pushing them up against your chest before you felt him probing at your entrance. A choked moan fell from your lips as he pushed into your needy cunt, his eyes watching as you swallowed his dick whole before he pulled back out.

“W-Woo–” You were cut off by a loud cry when he thrust back into you with an unimaginable force, nearly sending your mind into orbit.

“Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.” He repeated to word like a mantra as he fucked into your tight cunt, barely leaving you any room to breathe. He pressed down on your legs even more until you were damn near folded in half, the smooth tip of his cock pressing right against that spongy spot in your cunt with every thrust.

Tears were streaming down the sides of your face as you tried your best to keep up with his pace, fingers curled into the sheets. A broken mixture of curses and his name rolled off of your tongue, eyes rolling back as you become overtaken with pleasure.

“Your body was made just for me.” Wooyoung groaned, leaning down to capture your lips in a sloppy kiss, teeth clashing together as he continued to fuck into your tight hole. “Perfect for carrying my kits.”

You clenched around him as he spoke those dirty words against your lips, swallowing all of your pretty noises. His nails dug into your thighs until they broke the skin, a trail of crimson blood flowing down the side of your leg before dripping onto the sheets. The mixture of pain and pleasure suddenly had you toppling over the edge, your back arching off the bed as a loud moan tore through your throat.

A deep animalistic growl reverberated from Wooyoung’s chest as he fucked you through your high, but never slowing down. Stars danced across your vision as he seemed to pick up the pace, his thrust growing even more harsh.

“W-Wooyoung!” You nearly screamed when his lips latched onto your neck, teeth nipping at your skin. There was no way that you were going to come out of this without any bitemarks, but you weren’t really in the right state of mind to complain.

Your hands flew to his back as soon as he latched onto the junction of your neck, his canines sinking deep into your skin. A sharp cry fell from your lips at the stinging sensation before he withdrew his fang, licking over the wound. Your nails racked against the skin of his back, causing him to hiss, his hips stuttering just slightly but never losing rhythm.

When his low, throaty groans started to turn into high-pitched whimpers, you knew he was close, just needing a little more. Trailing your hand up his back, you ran your fingers through his hair before gently taking his ear into your palm.

“F-Fuck!” He moaned loudly in your ear as he came, shooting thick, hot streams of cum deep inside your walls, his pace slowing just a bit.

Your head fell back against the soft mattress, eyes fluttering shut as his lips continued to wander the skin of your neck and shoulder. You thought he would knot you like he always had before and would call it good, but when you felt him pull away without knotting, your eyes snapped open.

“You didn’t think I was done with you yet, did you?” His voice was deep as he cocked his head to the side, the blackness of his pupils nearly overtaking the whites of his eyes.

The air was knocked out of your lungs when he flipped your body effortlessly, laying you flat on your stomach. His hands were quick to find your hips, pulling them up until your back was arched the way he wanted.

“I still have so much more to give you, baby.” He chuckled darkly as he pressed his tip against your twitching hole, watching as you eagerly sucked him in. You buried your face into the sheets as he pushed into you with one sharp thrust, his tip pushing right against your cervix.

Tears stained the sheets underneath you as he relentlessly bullied his cock into your abused pussy, his hands tight on your hips. Muffled cries and moans were the only sounds that emitted from your body. Your cognitive function to form words flew right out the window.

“Such a good little cocksleeve,” He cooed, leaned down until his back was pressed against your chest, his lips finding the back of your shoulder. “Taking everything, I give you like a good girl.” The mixture of his derogatory names and praises made your body melt, and if it wasn’t for his hold, you would have surely fallen flat on the mattress.

“Y-Youngie!” You cried out, fat tears falling from your eyes as he continued his relentless pace until your whole body was shaking. “Cumming! ‘M cumming!” Your voice cracked as he fucked you through another orgasm, but once again, his ministrations never stopped, much less slowed down.

White spots started to cloud your mind when he stood up straight once again, using your hips as leverage to fuck into you. Choked sobs left your lips when your body fell into a state of overstimulation. Every nerve felt as if it were on fire.

Moving one hand from your hip, Wooyoung trailed it down the length of your spine before threading his fingers through your hair. With a harsh tug, he pulled your upper body off of the bed, eliciting a strangled moan from your parted lips.

“Look at you, babydoll, such a fucking mess on my cock. Is this what you wanted? Me to fuck you completely dumb? Until the only thought in your pretty little head was my cock? Hmm?” His harsh tone had you quivering in his hold, eyes squeezing shut as you felt another orgasm building up. Letting go of your hair, he grabbed your jaw harshly, turning your head until you were looking at him. “Answer me, pup.” He growled, lips brushing against yours as you whimpered in his hold.

“Y-Yes, I want you to fuck me stupid, Youngie.” You choked out before all the air was stolen from your lungs when his lips crashed into yours. His hand fell from your jaw down to your puffy clit causing your whole body to jolt. “No, no, no, stop Wooyoung! I feel weird.” You cried out as a different type of pressure built up in your lower gut, but he didn’t stop; if anything, your broken pleas only spurred him on.

White spots clouded your vision as that coil in your gut finally snapped, and your release gushed all over Wooyoung’s fingers and cock, even soaking the sheets below your body. It felt like your soul had been detached from your body as he continued to work you through your orgasm, coaxing more and more of your sweet release out of your body.

“Look at the mess you made, sweetheart,” His teasing tone rang in your ears as your head fell back on his shoulder, legs quivering underneath your weight. He moved his hand away from your throbbing clit, allowing you just a moment to breathe before that same hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing the soft flesh.

A choked sob tore through your parted lips as he pistoned his hips into yours mercilessly. Your brain felt like it was turning into mush from the overwhelming amount of pleasure. Wooyoung’s fingers tighten around your throat as he buries his face into the nape of your neck, inhaling your scent.

“You’re gonna look so pretty all swollen with my kits.” Wooyoung licked a stripe up the back of your neck, “such a perfect mommy.” He cooed as he nipped at your skin, feeling another orgasm of his own creeping up.

“W-Woo…” You whimpered in his hold, your head empty except for the thought of his cock buried deep in you until he was sure his seed would take.

“Gonna make sure everyone knows that you’re mine.” He growled before unexpectedly biting down on the nape of your neck as he came. The sudden infliction of pain pulled yet another orgasm from your spent body, your walls fluttering around his twitching cock, milking him for all he was worth.

Pulling away from your neck, he watched with proud eyes as his mark started to bleed, your sweet crimson blood coating his lips. Your mind was beginning to blank as you slowly came down from your high, only for that peace to quickly be ripped away from you when the fox hybrid pulled out of your cunt.

A small whine emitted from your body when he bent you over once again, pressing your face into the covers. Your jaw fell slack as he pushed his still rock-hard length back into your aching cunt, the mixture of yours and his cum making his movements more fluid.

“Oh, we’re not done yet, baby,” He chuckled darkly, pistoning his hips into yours. The brute force knocked all of the lungs from your body, and all you could do was lay there and take it. The only thought in your mind was Wooyoung’s cock and how painfully good it felt, nudging against your sweet spot.

Wooyoung didn’t stop until you filled to the brim before finally knotting you; the stretch had you cumming for the nth time that night. His arms wrapped around your body as he buried his face in your chest, inhaling your scent. A small pur reverberated from his chest as you ran your shaky fingers through his hair. The world finally felt like it was coming back to you as your body lay there, soaking in each other’s warmth as if you hadn’t been doing that for the past few hours.

“Thank you, baby,” His voice was low as he peppered kisses along the expanse of your chest before resting his chin right between your breasts. You hummed, still not fully trusting your voice, and he smirked before his fingers playfully crept up your side.

“W-Wooyoung!” You choked out his name at the ticklish feeling causing him to chuckle before groaning slightly when he felt that familiar heat bloom in his chest. Noticing the sudden change, you looked down at him in worry, your fingers curling around the nape of his neck. “How much longer will this last?”

Wooyoung took a moment to respond, trying to settle himself before he lost control. He then glanced back at you with worry and borderline guilt, “probably for the next week.”Your head fell back as your eyes fluttered shut, a small groan falling from your lips. This was going to be a long week, but you couldn’t complain. You did offer to help him after all, and by the looks of it, now that he had his hands on you, he wasn’t about to let go.

@wwooyology | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work

𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.

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ditzydoe444 · 3 days ago

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MDNI 18+

jason todd smut

rough dom and size difference jason todd!

after a long day of work he would often convince you to have his fat cock shoved up your tight cunt, often saying “sweet thing, i’ve been at work for a long time, mind if you help me relax a little?” and how could you say no? he was often covered in oil and grease from the garage, his hair slightly messed up. he worked hard to spoil you like a princess, so how could you decline such a simple offer?

so he would often have you on your knees whilst he fucked your face, tears streaming down your cheeks whilst saliva dribbled down, making a hot mess on both for your face and hands that grubbed his fat cock. “love this pretty little face,” he grunted, making you gag slightly, with his heavy balls slapping slightly. “gonna fuck this mouth like it’s your cunt, that’s alright with you sweet thing?” he groaned, as he fisted your hair into a pony tail, forcing you to take more.

the size difference between you two made him fuck you like a toy, getting all of his tension and anger out whilst you babbled being absolutely dumbed out by his fat cock. you couldn’t do anything, he was in control, his thrusts hard and deep into your mouth, the girth of him stretched your mouth out to the point where you were convinced your jaw was going to lock. you were so small on your knees, so pretty with his fat cock shoved in your small mouth that could barely accomodate it.

“so pretty,” he groaned, his head tilting back, whilst his other hand guides you. you moaned against his cock, the sound vibrating up towards him. “you’re so good to me, gonna reward you after this alright?”

you nodded in response, though sucking him off was enough for you. something about it was so much more filthy and disgusting that got you off. “fuck,” he grunted, his thrusts harsher now, making your eyes widen slightly, “‘m close sweet thing,” you were currently nothing but a babbling mess, your hot mouth making the filthiest noises with occasional gags.

he groaned when he filled your mouth with the hot sticky liquid, jason had a habit of still fucking your mouth after, something about having the white hot liquid coming out and dribbling down your chin, mixing with your saliva got him off. “such a good little toy, aren’t ya?” he cooed.

“letting me use that sweet mouth of yours to get me off,” his hand went to your cheek caressing it softly, before sliding into your hair tugging your mouth away from his cock. the movement was so quick and unexpected you were left a coughing and spluttering mess, saliva and cum dripped down, a string of saliva connecting to his cock.

though he wasted no time, immediately shoving you into position, the smaller size of you allowed him to put you in any position he wanted, like his own personal sex toy. you were on your back whilst he was in between your legs. he rubbed his fat cock against your wet folds, “i missed you too sweet thing,” he whispered slightly breathless. before putting just the tip, enough for you to whine and wiggle for more, though he was so big, even the tip stretched you out.

jason grabbed your hips firmly, his large hands squeezed the small roundness there, his hands so large they could encircle them. “patient,” he grumbled his eyes narrowing. but you didn’t listen, because you wanted nothing more but to be fucked, rough and hard. and the only way to get that was to get on his nerves.

you wiggled again, attempting to push his hands off your hips. jason, clearly wasn’t a fan, his hands gripped your hips tighter before shoving his fat cock in you. he didn’t even let you adjust like usual, drilling into you like an animal, a beast.

“don’t you even think about disobeyin’ me again,” he grunted, thrusting in you harder and harder. you couldn’t do anything but let out pathetic whines and moans, your body wiggling to get away, the sensation was too much. though you couldn’t help yourself by prospering yourself slightly on your elbows, allowing you to see the bulge of him near your tummy, he stretched you out beyond belief. his hands moved from your hips to your knees, shoving them up against your chest, which forced you to take him deeper than before.

you couldn’t even moan properly, the air basically knocked out of your lungs in the new position, making you breathless. “so fucking tight,” he groaned loudly, “perfect little hole for me.” you were close, so close, but something inside you knew that he wouldn’t let you come just let.

“close jay,” you whined, your tone slightly pleading. he shook his head, “not yet, don’t even think about it,” he warned. though you didn’t listen, you couldn’t, you saw the mean smile he gave before squeezing your lower stomach, deliberately pushing you to your limit. as a result it left you a squirting mess, the hot sticky mess going on his abs whilst he continued to rut into you like an animal.

“you fucking slut, did you even hear what i said? or were you too fucking dumb like a toy huh?” spoke harshly, one of his hand cupping your chin whilst the other hand gripped your hands together above your head. you didn’t answer, still riding out your orgasm. “answer me,” he spat harshly, his thrusts even harder, making the bed leg screech against the wooden floorboard.

“sorry,” you cried, feeling another orgasm coming. he shook his head tauntingly, “you about to have a second one huh? how easy are you sweet thing?” he whispered as he kissed your neck. “bet i can make you come by fucking these pretty things,” one of his hand gripped your tit harshly. “gonna come again,” you mumbled, you were a sweaty mess, your hair sticking to your face slightly, a few strands near or in your mouth, whilst the cum and saliva from sucking him off had thickened, due to the time past.

he wiped the mess on your chin, before shoving two fingers in your mouth, “give me your second one sweet thing,” he whispered making suck onto his fingers.

in a matter of seconds your second orgasm came, though jason had no intention to stop, bending you to his will as he continued to drill deep into you.

#jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd x reader #jason todd smut #jason todd #dc characters #ch: jason #dc smut #red hood x y/n #red hood x you #red hood x reader #red hood smut #red hood

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cheetabites · 1 day ago

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☆彡 age ain’t nothing but a number ˳༄꠶

characters: park gyeong seok (player 246), kang dae ho (player 388), and hwang in ho (player 001 / the frontman)

˳༄꠶ summary: headcannons i have regarding if you - their partner - were younger than them (fem intended! reader, and all legal babes 💋)

park gyeong seok (player 246)

★ he works as a portrait painter near an amusement park, he’s been approached by many younger woman. they usually directly express their interest in him by flirting but he usually brushes it off with a smile and a timid shake of his head. regarding this, i don’t think it would’ve been a problem if he’d gotten into a relationship with a younger woman; he is a the type of older man to get really shy about it though

★ despite the hierarchy in korea where juniors are supposed to automatically respect their elders, gyeong seok doesn’t really push it too much. he treats you as an equal with a bit of extra pampering - he does believe that since he’s the older one in the relationship, he should carry most of the responsibilities, whether that be household chores, bringing money home, or just caring for you and his daughter

★ he isn’t too sensitive to other’s opinions on your relationship, but there are some times where he worries about the age gap. it’s mostly out of worry for you though; i mean he’s nearing closer to finally turning forty and he has a young daughter. he just wants you to be happy. although if you talk it out with him and ease his worries, then i think thoughts like those will eventually dissipate

★ sex with him wouldn’t be any different even if you were younger, he’d still have the same kinks. although he would treat you more gently just to make sure he doesn’t “hurt” you

★ his daughter doesn’t mind the age gap either. you’re sweet, thoughtful and you make her dad happy. the only way she’d ever question the age difference would be from an external factor like whispers from other parents that she overhears or if one her classmates says something about it. if this does happen though, you and gyeong seok would obviously clear stuff up for her

kang dae ho (player 388)

★ to be honest, when he first met you he didn’t even think that you were younger than him. it was only when you clarified your age that he realized that he was older than you. he still pursued you despite it though, because you were both legal adults and he found himself captivated with you; he does tend to get with older women though, more often than he does with younger women

★ he’s another one that gets a bit shy about the fact that he’s dating a younger woman. you and his friends love to tease him about it too, just so you can hear him stutter as he tries to figure out a comeback; if one of his friends make a bad comment about your relationship though, he’ll post tf up. but make sure to drag him away, he’s not really good in physical fights

★ he’s more shy when he subs for you. something about you being younger than him yet having all this power over him makes him red in the face (and rock hard in his slacks)

★ i feel like he’d try to coddle you, but you’d hit him with the “i had you crying and begging for me last night, i can take care of myself.” he’d pout when you’d brushed off his advances, but would eventually get over it; he just loves you sm

★ with you, he honestly acts like a himbo. don’t get me wrong, he’s not unintelligent, but it’s like he’s so starstruck with your presence that it kinda short circuits his brain; it makes him all the more lovable though!

hwang in ho / 001 / the frontman

★ this man does not give one flying fuck that you’re younger than him. in fact, it boosts his ego that he was able to bag such a beautiful young baddie like you; just know you’re gonna be as spoiled as hell

★ he’s so detached from people’s opinions that he could not give less of a rats ass about their opinion on your relationship. if it does somehow tick him off though, then he’ll just put a bullet in them

★ if you’re his significant other, there isn’t much of an opportunity to return back to society. he doesn’t want to risk you interacting with other people - especially if you were a previous player; you disappeared without a trace and then suddenly returned to society? it would cause more problems than solutions. he makes sure to make it up to you in other ways though, he doesn’t want you to be unhappy

★ he tries to hide your relationship from the guards, but since you can’t leave he eventually just lets it be. there isn’t much to do at the facility / where the games are held so the guards are constantly exposed to you trailing after him wherever he goes, curious as ever - you often ask him random questions and he regularly indulges in you to keep you satiated. i can just picture you trampling around the halls doing whatever you want in the most fabulous outfit that he gifted you - obviously breaking the rules - and the guards just give eachother a look, kinda saying “damn, if we did that boss would fire - a bullet at - us.”

★ sex with him is relatively the same. but with a younger partner, i believe things like thigh riding and a daddy kink will appear sometime after you get intimate together

the end! I hope you enjoyed <3!

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minnietrys · 2 days ago

Note

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU DONT KNOW HOW I LOVE YOUR WRITINGS

YOUR SO GOODDDD

I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF you could write something where player 120 met fem! Reader in a bar and then they make out XD

I just want to read smuts about this woman

Pookie I got you. I started brainstorming when I saw this so I have multiple ideas for this so I just started writing and let it lead, I did end up giving them a past so hopefully you like it!

So with my further do I present:

Is it casual now?

◯ Cho Hyun-ju x Fem! Reader

△ Alt! Universe- You and Hyunju are kinda like friend with benefits but you to be more

▢ oral(f!receiving), fingering, pet names, rough, kinda made her a bit toxic…2k words

⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯

Okay so this is my first ever smut and I just gathered all the info and tips I learned from reading smut so hopefully it’s good and if it is expect more soon :p

⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯

‘Casual’ that’s what you and Hyunju were according to any of your friends that asked. But oh boy how that hurts you in every way.

Was everything she has done to you that casual? Was spending hot hours of the night together that casual to her? Was all the marks she left behind that casual? Was that sore morning feeling she left that casual?

Oh how that word casual was used so wrong in this situation.

But here you are doing nothing but staring at her from across the table. With a drink in your hand trying to wash away that stupid word from your head. Maybe even trying to enjoy the celebration as causal friends.

“Unnie? Are you okay?” youngmi words snap you out of your train of thought. “Oh yes, sorry youngmi. What happened?” You asked with a complete sorry tone.

“Ah nothing, but we were just about to cut the cake! Also you look out of it? Are you sure you’re still up to continue celebrating?” she asked with those adorable sincere doe eyes. To be honest you always seen youngmi as younger sister but didn’t really like that her and Hyunju were also close. It made you feel green inside.

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss the celebration of your 21st! It’s a once in a life time and the only day I can watch you get wasted for the first time” you laughed out while she gasped “are you sure it isn’t you who going to be getting wasted” youngmi said in a teasing tone.

“Ha ha ha your so funny, that only happened once” you said in a defensive tone with a pout but you notice someone staring at you from your peripheral vision. You felt your mouth go dry and your body tense up.

So you decide to look back at her but there she is staring at you a smirk looking you up and down like your some kinda of piece of candy. Did she just lick her lip, oh how you felt your legs start to shake.

“Uh excuse me youngmi, I have to the restroom.” You excuse yourself but not without feeling someone eyes follow you.

Once you finally reach the restroom all you could do was sigh. Maybe you were just a girl she banged but how she treats you makes you feel different.

Gripping the sink you take a deep breath and hear the door open. Looking up into the mirror you see her. She walking up to you, slowly pushing your hair that covered your neck to aside. You feel her breath on your neck making you release an airy moan.

“You know it’s not fair. You all over everyone else here but not daring to look at me.” She grips your hips pulling them back to met hers. “It’s quite rude actually. One day you’re in my bed and the next you ignore me, come on baby that no way to act.” She says in that pouting tone while she bites your ear in a teasing way.

Turning you to face her, your arms automatically move to around her neck waiting for her next action. But she just keeps moving her eyes from between your eyes and lips with that damn smirk that makes you weak to your knees.

Grabbing your chin she pulls you forward so your lips would met. A never ending battle with your mouths start. Tongue against tongue, tongue moving from in and out of your mouth, you felt like you were going wild.

Till she grips your neck to pull you away. You notice the string of saliva that connected your lips together. The hand around your neck gets your attention but is easily lost when she squeezed your neck making you whine while your eyes round back.

“Wow, you really know how to win a girl back with that face and noise don’t you” she laughs out with a smirk but not daring to move her hand not when she has you where she wants you.

“Mhm—please…” you manage to get out of your mouth. “Please? Huh you asking for something but I don’t know what you want. Your going have to use more words baby” oh how you hate when she does this, she knows what you want.

Gasping out “you..please…unnie” you start gripping her hair. “Aw the baby wants her unnie” Hyunju says in a teasing pout while she put her knee between your legs making you moan out and grip her harder.

“Okay here what I want you to do, your going to walk your pretty self to my car and wait patiently as I go tell the others we are heading out, if you don’t you won’t get anything from me got it.” She said sternly while looping a piece of your hair around her finger and staring at you like she ready to eat you.

Whining as she lets you go “ah come on, walk or I just go back and sit down but judging by the look on your face you won’t want that.” Ugh she just keeps pushing all the buttons that make you feel so weak.

Slowly walking away with a stumble from your shaking legs you make it to the door but not without turning once more to look at her with that begging expression. All she does is smirk in return and wave in a teasing way.

You’re not really sure how you did it but you managed to make it to her car, well with a few strange glances on the way. Getting into the passenger seat you fully take in what happened.

Shit I’ve fallen for it again… you thought as you threw your head back on the head rest. Why couldn’t you catch a break with this women were you really that stupid, yo— your thoughts get cut off when you heard the driver side open.

You felt a hand grip your chin forcing you to look at her, “come on, what can unnie do for you?” again with that hungry look in her eyes while she lets her thumb rub and play with your bottom lip. You couldn’t help it you started sucking on her thumb while trying your best to give her those ‘fuck me’ eyes.

Groaning she pulls her thumb out of your mouth and starts attacking your lips with hers. You pulled her in not getting enough of her taste it’s so addictive. Suddenly you feel one of her hands squeezing your breast over your top, you couldn’t help but like out a moan causing her tongue to dart straight into your mouth.

Pulling her away “Unnine..please f-fuck me..please” you let out with a crying while a few tears row down due to the need for pleasure. “You see baby that all you had to do, use your words” Hyunju says while wiping away the tears and gives you a small peck on your cheek.

“Now do me one huge favor and recline your seat back” she said with a sweet smile like what you guys weren’t about to do something freaky in her car.

Once doing so her hand suddenly gripped your thigh pulling your shut legs apart causing a moan to exit you due to the sudden action. “You look so pretty when you’re turning into a mess but you’re eternal when you’re a full mess” she whispered as she pushed your skirt up exposing the wet mess hiding under causing her to bite her lip.

You felt yourself tremble as she slowly started to trace the lines of your folds over your undies and pressing sweet kissing on your neck causing you to whine. But you started to push into her hand hard looking for the sweet friction “Ahah what did I say about being impatient baby..” she warns as she was taps at where you clit is located.

“I-I am sorry, I just need you so so so bad unnie please” you cry out trying to beg for her to fully touch you.

“Fine, since you asked so nicely but you better not start crying when you can’t handle it” she warned as she pushed you panties to the side and finally felt her thumb meet your clit making you let out a relived moan.

Your finally get that sweet sweet pressure you be looking for all night but the sudden feeling of two fingers entering you cause your legs to shut close.

“Hey I thought you were going to behave-” she growled out as she forced your legs back open with her other hand causing you get even more wetter. “Good now be a good girl and take what I give you” she said as she gave a rough thrust causing your hands to fly to hers, gripping it as if she going to tone down her thrust.

Moan after moan that’s what she pulling out of you and how that makes her movement go faster.

“Mhm! Unnnie…please—” cutting off your pleases she sticks her tongue in your mouth while gripping the back of your neck making her tongue travel more further. Continuing her abuse with her hand, she finally hits that sweet spot that makes you see star causing you to throw your head back. So she starts her recoloring her previous marks from nights before. She wants people to look at neck and just know your off limits, to know that your being taken care off.

“Hyunju!” You scream out as the hot knot in your stomach finally popped but that doesn’t matter Hyunju will continue her abuse til your done riding out that delicious high.

Sighing in delight Hyunju pulls her fingers out and makes you look at her as she stuff her soiled finger in her mouth causing you to moan.

“Mhmm~ quite a wonderful taste, now I am craving the taste but from the source” she smirks as you whimper and try to close you legs but she is already out of the driver side walking to the passenger side. Opening your door she push the button to make your seat go back as she just smiles.

She slot herself knee deep in the passenger seat while looking into your eyes she rubs and kisses your thighs. You couldn’t help but moan oh man is this casual now?

Opening your thighs she slowly leads her kisses to your folds. Groaning as she comes lips to clit she starts sucking causing your hands to grip her hair. “Ngh—unnie” you moan out causing her suck harder.

Pulling away she groan just getting a glance at your state “you really are eternal” she said was she licks your clit down to your slit. “Mh—please”that’s it, that’s all it took for her to enter you with her tongue groaning at the taste.

You start to squirm in pleasure, you just can’t get enough nor can handle it. But your put to sudden stop as she slaps the side of your thigh and grips your hip letting her nails press into your skin. All you could do was whine and shred those tear Hyunju loved so dearly.

A sudden loud moan leaves your mouth as her thumb starts circling around your clit adding more pleasure on top of what you’re already experiencing. You can feel the knot in your stomach start to twist with all the amount of pleasure so you start trying to push Hyunju head away.

“Unnie please I’m close—” you really tried to push her away but that woman won’t budge she kept her mouth where she wanted it whiling pushing in her nails even deeper into you.

“Wai—” you were cut off with your loudest moan of the night causing the knot to finally pop all over Hyunju. Gasping for air you start to calm down but that calmness is quickly gone with Hyunju rubbing her fingers over your slit.

“Mhm you did such a good job, and tasted so good” she said as she licked the leftover juices on you and her lips. “How about we head to my place?”

Oh you already know what she means…another ‘causal’ fuck with no strings attached. “Please” she mutters with that sad puppy look as she rubs up and down your leg so you just bit back that remark and nodded.

⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯

Ahh um let me know thought because I had to pause and rethink if I’m doing this right

#squid game x reader #squid game season 2 #squid game fanfic #squid game 2 #squid game #cho hyunju x reader #cho hyun ju x reader #cho hyun ju #cho hyunju #hyun ju #hyun ju x reader #hyunju #reader insert #fem reader #smut #squid game smut #Hyunju smut

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bombuni · 2 days ago

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contains: jongho watching you use a dildo lol

minors dni

“Jjoo-ngie…”

Your pathetic, desperate whines are music to Jongho’s ears. It fuels his ego to see you so broken and needy, tear-filled eyes begging for him from where you drag the plastic toy over your slit. It’s disgustingly adorable, he thinks, how cute you look with a cock between your legs.

He’d found you exactly like this when he got home from work, wrecked and sweaty from hours of trying to replicate his touch on yourself. You’d cried and begged for him to finally relieve you and he almost gave in right then and there, but Jongho’s a man with a will made of steel. He’d only taken the purple, flimsy thing from your hands and pushed it gently back into your leaking hole. His mouth had watered at the sight of your mouth dropping open, as if just his presence had now changed everything for you. Your cute pleading eyes set his goal in mind: to enjoy the sight of your desperation. See how far he can get you before his urges take over.

“Just keep fucking yourself, sweetheart. Or is that too much for your tiny brain to understand? Do you need Jjong to do it for you?”

He swallows a moan when you unabashedly shout for him to take over, how sure you are that Jongho will take care of everything for you. He feels his hand twitch.

Your pussy is still wet as if he’d been playing with it for hours, and your chest is filled with waves of emotions, all surrounding the one man who’s eyes remain on you. You’re annoyed with how satisfied he is watching you be pathetic, embarrassed at how desperate you’re acting, but all of that is simply overshadowed by the straight flood of desire in you. Your mind only screams Jongho, Jongho, Jongho.

Your tiny hands shake in frustration with every push you give into yourself, “‘S so- I c-can’t! Jjongie, I can’t, p-please just-“

You’re so cute. So, so cute, and his cock jumps when a tear slips down your cheek. He sighs and moves slowly towards you, like you’re a nuisance, like his gut isn’t on fire right now and his mind is clouded with need. He finally reaches you, leaning down towards you and setting both arms besides your head, trapping you. The sound of your squelching pussy is still heard, and his tummy swirls with your adorably love sick grin.

The way your entire body relaxes once his hand reaches towards your clit makes him giggle, “So cute. You just wanted my attention, didn’t you? You want me to make you cum?”

“Please, Jjongie want it so bad-“

God, how he loves when you beg. He loves how embarrassed you get when he teases you outside of sex, how he’ll remind you of how much of a slut you are for him when you’re being a brat. He loves how you submit yourself to him, how much you enjoy being his plaything. It comforts him to know you trust him this much. But it’s also just really fucking hot how wet you get.

His pointer fingers rub at your clit, gliding easily in circle motions with the help of your slick, “Pretty, pretty girl…”

Jongho’s quiet praises push you off the edge, your entire body writhing as the pleasure takes control of you and makes you twitch in ecstasy. He mumbles more encouraging words that you don’t really hear, but the sound of his voice is just enough to push you through.

There’s a soft, timid thumb caressing your hip when you come to, “Couldn’t wait for me to come home?”

bom note: we are so back. i had to for my freakribos. anyways what r ur thoughts on mutual masturbation san or typical stuck-porn scenario san?

#ateez #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #ateez fic #ateez oneshot #ateez scenarios #ateez smut #choi jongho #choi jongho ateez #ateez jongho #jongho x reader #jongho imagines #jongho fluff #jongho smut

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rodolfoparras · 8 hours ago

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18+ MDNI 18+

Thinking about playfully wrestling with your boyfriend while he makes mindless comments about your strength “oh you’re so strong, don’t think I’d be able to escape even if I wanted,” he says in wonder, eyes practically shining as he squeezes your biceps, “you ought to be careful never know when I can break” he says jokingly while doing a half hearted attempt to try and escape your embrace.

Slowly but surely you start getting more and more rough with him: squeezing and pressing down onto spots, not enough to hurt but enough to make him uncomfortable. “You know what? You’re right. I don’t think you’d be able to get away if someone like me were to attack you.” The relaxed look on his face swiftly turns into one of concern and you can see the way he slowly attempts to back away from you.

But it’s to no avail, he’s trapped in your embrace, with you steadily inching closer to his face, a big sharp grin painted on your own face. “I mean what are you supposed to do? Can’t even push them away,” you say referring to his futile attempts at trying to push you away from him. “Guess you’d just have to stay and take whatever they’re willing to give you,” you continue, proving your point when you easily spread his legs wide and ground your cock up against his ass, all while he can’t do anything but helplessly watch as you twist and turn his body as if he were a ragdoll “Bet there’s plenty of things they would love to do to a pretty boy like you. Don’t you think?”

“Oh god- don’t -dont say that,” he gasps out, head falling into the crook of your neck as if he’s horrified. But you can feel his fully hard cock from where your hand is resting against his thighs , can hear the muffled whines and whimpers as he grinds himself up against you, can see it on him how he he’s torn between pushing you away and completely stopping this little game or pulling you closer to him to see how far you’ll take this.

What a sick little thing you got at your hands.

“How about this?” You say, hand yanking ahold of his hair to bring his ear closer to you “You try to run and we’ll see if I can catch you. Does that sound alright?”

This time you don’t get a verbal response. Instead you can see it on his face what he’s trying to say: and what happens if you catch me?

The silence is swiftly broken with a soft thud as you release your hold on him.”Run, quick,”

He doesn’t waste a second scrambling up the stairs, practically tripping over his feet as he turns corners. He looks and sounds absolute terrified and you can’t help but love that, cock growing harder as you follow him up.

With each step you take you can hear his rapid breaths getting louder and louder , can feel his own thudding steps as you walk down the narrow hallway, can practically smell him - not some cheap cologne nor any deodorant but rather a mix of sickly sweet vanilla and sugar- something that’s just so him - something you’d want to sink your teeth in and drain completely. You follow that very scent all the way to your shared bedroom.

And there he stands, looking like a deer caught in the headlights, or rather like a animal that’s bleeding out on the side of the road, with his cock still painfully hard and with a suspicious dark spot on his sweatpants.

“Oh sweetheart,” you coo, voice dripping with faux concern, while slowly walking up to him like he was an injured animal of some sort. “Why do you look so scared hmm? You know I won’t actually hurt you,” you continue, watching in amusement as he swiftly backs up til his back is flushed with the bedroom wall.

You’re quick to press yourself flush against his chest, once again trapping him in your embrace.“Come on. You wound me. I really wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. You know that,” You say eyes once again flicking up to the wet spot on his pants “Look, got yourself all worked up and for what?” You ask, as you cup the wet bulge over his pants.

“Stop - ah don’t” he cries out, sounding and looking absolutely horrified as he tries to push your hand away but once again it’s to no avail and he has to stand there as you freely grope him. However it doesn’t take much before he’s bucking up into your touch, head lolling back against the wall as whines and whimpers freely pour past his tongue “fuck- so good mph,”

“See sweetheart, I just want to take care of you, wouldn’t dream of hurting you,”you say with a soft smile as you continue to rub him through his pants. The man only furiously nods, begs and please of more more more, continuously rolling off of his tongue as he practically humps the palm of your hand.

“Unless you want me to, that is,” suddenly you’re flipping him around, hand rough as ever as you shove him up against the wall before slotting your leg between his thighs.

The poor thing squeaks in suprise, tears freely spilling from his eyes ,as incoherent words start pouring from his mouth.

“Come on now sweetheart,” you groan out , hand once again yanking at his hair and successfully pulling a hiss from him “you know that need you to use your words. Now tell em what you want yeah?”

Once again he’s fumbling over his words, too overwhelmed with emotions to form a coherent sentence. However you won’t take that for answer, hand once again yanking at his hair till he finally responds to you.

“Want- ah want you to touch me sir ah- please do anything touch me- hah fuck me - hurt me just anything please please-“

“Well who am I to say no when you ask so nicely?”

#top male reader #dom male reader #dom reader #male reader #yandere x male reader #yandere x reader #sub male character #bottom male character #this is just a drbal they don’t even freak #jjk x reader #cod x reader #arcane x reader #GOJO x reader #geto x reader #toji x reader #ghost x reader #viktor x reader #jayce x reader

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zara-renata · 2 days ago

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So I had one holiday prompt that I couldn't include in the big holiday prompt fic I posted last week, and I also have been receiving some really sweet and cute ideas that weren't exactly requests, but the ideas were so nice that I wanted to write something for them. I've gathered them into one story that I hope isn't disappointing. I had intended to do separate, cute little drabbles, but I had a bad day the other day and somehow uh, really dark angst happened, and then I used the ideas people sent for the comfort half of the fic? So please forgive me for just... taking it as dark as you can go before including the sweet, cute ideas that people requested. I hope you like the result anyway, although please read the content warnings. Several of the people who sent requests/ideas apologized for doing so, as if sending the ideas was 'too much', but you don't have to apologize for sending asks. My requests are open, and I like seeing everyone's ideas even if I don't end up being able to write for them, or if I tweak them a little to make them work for the story that comes out of my brain despite my best laid plans to stick to an outline.

The river | ao3 | masterlist

It's Christmas Eve, you're at the end of your rope after an absolutely awful year, and you decide to end it all after pushing everyone in your life away. Sylus pulls you from the brink and convinces you to keep going.

Sylus x fem reader, Sylus x mc, hurt/comfort, angst, grief, banter, fluff. CW: attempted suicide, depressed thoughts, NSFW, Sylus penetrating reader (this is not sex ed, do not follow these idiots' example, no discussion of condom or birth control, this is fantasy and we're not going to worry about that in the fic)

Ask #1 You asked to keep sending silly little ideas for you to write so I thought I'd give my own request! After Caleb and Gran (supposedly) die it's pretty much canon that MC refuses help from their friends and isolates themself in certain ways. I always imagine MC sometimes sees Sylus as "the only one they have left" since he is the only one who goes out of his way to check up on MC. But MC kinda grows to resent this and has a moment when their drunk/really going through it and basically ask Sylus why he doesn't leave them be so they can just rot away in peace. Sorry if this is too lengthy or I'm overstepping! Brain worms are getting to me

Ask #2 Okay, so random thoughts here, but do you know that superstition that’s like, “the places where you have moles on your body show where your lover kissed you in a past life”? But like… can you imagine what it would be like if MC had a mole in the exact spot where Sylus bit her during Abyssal Mark (cus I have one there lol) and then that superstition randomly gets brought up, only for MC to show him that mole and Sylus is just s h o o k??? N e way that’s my random thoughts lol (sorry if this is a lot 💀)

Ask #3 I love the way you write the MC and I find myself relating to them at least 99% of the time. Sometimes I just imagine them giving Sylus one of those "Do you like me? Circle yes or no!" Love letters to Sylus because they are terrified of rejection -> i wrote the MC in this story really, really depressed, so if this didn't hit the spot for you in terms of fear of rejection, let me know, and I can include your prompt in another story idea I had before this one that's a lot lighter and sweeter before I got hit by the angst truck that this fic turned out to be. just let me know!

Ask #4 the last holiday prompt! -> idk if anyone sent it yet but from the xmas prompt list, i would love to see what you do with number 8 -> I'm so sorry that this is what I did with it, I hope you like it anyway😭

Thank you everyone who has sent me ideas! If you've sent me a request and I haven't answered it yet, it's because I'm still intending to do something with it.

Here you are. Again.

At the end of a long day. A long week. A long year.

A long rope.

It’s the dark, this time of year.

Maybe.

You’re restless. You’ve passed through the Deepspace Hunters Association doors for the last time this year. Empty days of leave stretch before you.

Normally, it would still be light out, leaving this early. But not now, this deep into the year—it’s already full night, as you leave work early.

The bright lights of the building pour over your upturned face as you look back, just once. You don’t know what for. You’ve successfully severed most of the ties you had built before.

Before everything.

Tara, Xavier. After Caleb, Josephine—they reached out, over and over, and you bit their outstretched hands with your sharp, sharp teeth.

You snapped enough times that they keep their distance, now.

They’re still kind.

Tara still comes, sits on your desk, shares tidbits of gossip during the workday. But she no longer invites you along to karaoke, to after-work drinks with other coworkers.

You and Xav work in sync, as you eliminate wanderers. He walks you to your door at the end of the day. But he no longer offers to lend you books. No longer invites you to the bookstore, or to try new restaurants.

You watch his broad back as he walks away from you, down your apartment building’s hallway. He feels as far away as a star in the velvet night sky.

It’s not their fault. You did this.

You wanted this.

You turn away from the warm light beaming from the Association as you leave early, the Christmas lights glittering in the windows, the holiday party you’re skipping still in full swing in the open, sleek company restaurant area on the ground floor. A division-wide shindig, to celebrate the end of the year, the holidays.

The night is cold. Fairy lights, nets of bright pinpricks in the dark night, cover the trees lining the sidewalk. Decorative light displays stretch across the busy road at periodic intervals, over the canals that parallel the streets, the gondolas and tour-boats festive under their own lights, red ribbons flapping in the cold winter wind.

You think about how they never recovered a body.

Only Josephine’s ashes fill an urn, sitting in a cold niche of a quiet columbarium. Caleb’s urn is empty.

You start walking, fast, along the busy sidewalk. People are out shopping, scurrying to tie up last minute errands before the city shuts down for the holiday tomorrow.

You want to unzip your coat. Unzip your uniform. Unzip your skin, your ribcage. Leave all these pieces of yourself behind, for others to puzzle over. To sweep up with the rest of the refuse left over from festive party goers on the street. You want to dissipate in the cold winter air like your breath with each cursed inhale, exhale.

You settle for beginning to jog to the metro station, your feet carrying you faster, faster, your boots heavy on the sidewalk. You see it lit in the distance, but you can’t stand the thought of being underground right now. Buried alive, with all the other people. You sprint past it.

You’re graceful enough to duck and weave, not disturb anyone else, until the crowds thin.

You’re running, running, the city is streaming past, like the tears from your eyes. Wet from the cold, because you haven’t cried since waking up, your ears deafening, Caleb’s silver chain glittering in the firelight on the walk up to your grandmother’s burning house.

Tears won’t bring a body back.

You don’t know how much longer you can stand this.

The days, one after another. Alarm, moving through the dark to get to work. Moving through the dark to get back to your apartment at the end of the day.

The pain—your only constant, now. The only thing you expect, have to look forward to, day after blurred day.

An echoing emptiness, like an urn without ashes. An emptiness that feels so full that your skin could burst with it.

You think about your apartment. The festive city outside its windows. The half-opened bottle of wine in the fridge, the only thing in it.

You veer from your neighborhood. Keep running. You’re sweating under your winter coat, your heavy Hunter uniform. It doesn’t matter.

You run, and run, and run, until you run out of streets, sidewalk.

Just the river, wide and black. There is a bridge, soaring over the water, in the distance. Its lights reflected in the water, along with the urban nightscape. Stars above, stars below.

You could drown in them.

You look at the bridge.

You could drown in it all.

There’s no one left, after all.

Who will miss you?

You slow. Stop.

Your breath is heavy in the quiet air. Fairy lights sparkle here, too. Pretty swooping light displays top each lamppost along the river path.

You would have gone to identify the body, as you did with Gran. She didn’t look like herself. Not even a sleeping version of herself. They did their best, reconstructing her face. But it wasn’t the stitches, the bruising. It was that she simply wasn’t there anymore. Like a stranger’s body on display. An empty house after the residents have been forced to flee in a night of unimaginable violence.

But running your hands through her hair, one last time. It soothed something in you. Enough that you could breathe in the cold mortuary air. Could nod. Could watch as they covered her again. As they escorted you out into the bustling hospital hallways, to stand under cold fluorescent lights. To stare vacantly at the wall, until you felt a strange, familiar feeling. You looked up, saw Zayne watching you, at the end of the long hallway. You stared at him, memorizing his beautiful face. His dark hair. His severe, cold loveliness. You let yourself look one last time, and he let you. Through the people filling the hallway, each walking with purpose, they were a blur and he was across the world, across time, a part of your past that should never have reappeared in your present. It hurt too much, to look at his beautiful, distant face. He left you behind, once. He should have stayed gone. You can’t stand to experience the loss again, the loss you felt every time he listened to your heart, expressionless, a stranger with a beautiful, familiar face from your past, a past in which Caleb was still alive.

You looked at Zayne one last time, across a bustling hallway in a place full of life, of death, and he let you. You then turned, headed to the reception desk. You switched doctors, hospitals.

You blocked his number, so you’ll never know if he sent you a text, tried to call and ask why, after. He let you walk out. Which is as it should be.

You wanted this.

The water churns under the whipping wind, the fast current. It looks so cold. Cold enough to numb. Cold enough to finally put out the fire that’s been burning in you, ever since you woke up, your ears deafening, Caleb’s necklace shimmering in the flames.

You think of running your hands through his hair. Something the fire robbed you of—it would have been your first time, your last time. He would pat your head. Call you pipsqueak. Ignore your protests to not mess up your hair, to not treat you like a little kid. But he would always duck out of the way anytime you tried to return the favor, tease him, tousle his hair. His pretty brunette hair that always looked so soft. Now you’ll never know how soft it really was.

You look at the water. You look at the bridge. The car headlights meteors streaking along their guardrail-gated orbit.

You think about going home. Waking up tomorrow, Christmas Day. The silence. You think about going back to work. Killing wanderer after wanderer. Wondering which one will be the one to finally kill you.

The days blur. The constant emptiness echoing inside your apartment, inside your ribcage.

You look at the water. You look at the bridge. You imagine running your hands through Caleb’s hair for the first, the last time. A tender goodbye you’ll never have, because they never found his body.

There’s no one left to miss you.

Your phone vibrates in your pocket. You fish it out.

Rafayel no longer calls, or texts you words. He just sends photos, every once in a while. Mundane details of everyday life, rendered extraordinary through his artist’s eye. Paintings he’s working on. A foreign landscape. Leaves glistening with dew. The moon, waxing full.

You haven’t answered in months. You look at each one, tuck your phone back in your pocket.

You look back at the water. Think about taking a photo of the reflected stars, the thin crescent moon in the black waves, think of sending him one last response. But even you’re not that cruel. You don’t want him to realize later, that he was the last one to say anything to you.

You don’t open his text. You block his number. Tuck the phone back into your pocket.

You start to walk toward the bridge. As you walk, you keep your eyes on the path, its edges. Decorative, smooth stones line the walkway along the river embankment. You pick them up, here and there, as you walk. Slip them into your coat pockets.

Eventually you run out of room in your coat pockets, add more to your pants pockets.

You turn your eyes back to the bridge, looming now.

You think of your empty fridge. Josephine’s empty face. An empty urn.

You’re ready to scoop out what’s left of you, leave it behind on the sidewalk, smoldering as the cold night finally smothers the endless fire, the only thing left inside you. Maybe it will warm someone else, in passing. A last good deed, from you to someone in the world.

A metal staircase, leading up, up, into the black sky, mirroring the dark river, your heavy boots echoing. The cars are loud. If you close your eyes, they could be the rushing waves of an ocean, instead of a river of traffic, above a river of water.

You keep your eyes open. You’re not going to pretend that you’re not doing what you’re doing, now. You’re not at the ocean, its pure salt air drifting through your hair, now whipping around your face. You’re on a busy, exhaust- and oil-stained commuter bridge on the night before Christmas, having cut your ties with everyone you have always known never wanted or needed you in the first place. What’s the difference if a wanderer kills you tomorrow, or if something kills you today? Just empty time, blurry days, photo frames without pictures.

The guardrail isn’t so high as one would guess. It’s an easy step up. An easy step over. You stand, looking back over the city where you were raised. The city that contains all the past versions of yourself, from the moment you were pulled screaming into life from a mother whose face you’ll never know, through to now, an empty shell of a person. If your fellow hunters could see inside you, they’d mistake you for a wanderer and put you down, like the scientists who experimented on you, your own grandmother, did years ago.

Since learning that Gran was one of the people who fucked with your heart, you have often resented that she and her colleagues weren’t successful in finishing the job years ago, when they had the chance.

But now you wonder, standing over a dark, freezing river that reflects what’s inside you now, maybe they did finish it. You just didn’t realize it. Not till tonight, as you look down in the mirror of the rushing water, far below.

Even now, the tears won’t come.

What use are tears, when they can’t bring a body back. When they can’t wash it clean. When they can’t lovingly touch it, one last time, soft strands of hair under your fingers.

Your tears, your heart, your suffering, your existence—useless, for the entirety of a life you can only half remember.

You wonder if it’s the dark, tonight. Why tonight, and not yesterday? Why not six months ago?

Because it took that long to sever the ties binding you here?

Now you are assured, no one will miss you. It will take days before anyone even notices your absence because of your holiday leave.

You hope that they’ll assume it was a wanderer. Bad luck. Wrong time, wrong place. A modest little plaque on the wall of heroes, even though you know you’re no hero.

In the end, it doesn’t matter why it’s tonight, and not any other night.

No need to be dramatic, pretending there’s meaning in the meaningless.

You put your hands on the guardrail, the metal colder than your freezing hands. You lift a heavy booted foot. Take a deep breath.

It’s so cold. It will be over before you know it. You’ve read that from this height, it’s the impact, and not the drowning.

You’ve always had dreams of flying.

You lift your other foot, arms thrown wide for balance, just for a moment. The world feels so big, here at the end. The stars above, the stars below, the doubled crescent moon. You’re ready to drown in it all.

You only have one hope.

I don’t want to be reborn.

You breathe, empty your mind of Tara’s earnest smile, Xavier’s soft laughter, Zayne’s steady hands, Rafayel’s flashing violet eyes. Josephine’s empty face. Caleb’s soft, untouchable hair.

You let yourself fall.

You’re flying. Your heart is soaring. Your heart is seizing. The relief, the terror, mingle. You can’t scream, even if you wanted to.

You’re flying and it’s everything you ever dreamt, until it’s not.

Your body jerks, abruptly. Your hair whips down, lashes your face. You grunt with the impact against… nothing. You’re suspended over the water, drifting in the air. The wind tugs at your stone-weighted coat.

You twist away from the water, craning your neck to look up, up, back at the bridge.

You have withstood the uselessness of tears for almost a year now. But now, you want to cry so badly the pain of the need steals your breath.

You knew he was cruel. You knew he was merciless. You knew that he hated you. You just didn’t realize how much, until now.

You hang suspended over a dark, rushing river, wrapped in scarlet and ink tendrils, looking up into the sneering face of the one person you refused to think about as you made your final decision tonight, at the end of your desolate, half-remembered life.

His evol begins to lift you, away from the merciful impact, the numbing water. You, your past, your heart, the memories and despair and stones filling your pockets seem weightless, wrapped in his power.

His usual mask of bored indifference is gone. He is finally showing you his true face, what he must always feel when he looks at you—fury and disgust.

He says nothing, as he pulls you from the depths, back into the world. As he sets you gently back on your heavy feet on the sidewalk in front of him. His evol evaporates, winter breath in the wind.

He looks at your face with his wine-dark eyes. Looks at the water. Flicks his gaze back to your face.

You will not cry in front of this man. This man who hates you so much he won’t even let you seek the peace of death. Death, which has always been too good for you, but not for the people you loved the most.

You clench your jaw as the fire re-ignites in your chest. The flames you had tried so hard to scoop out, to leave behind.

You don’t want to feel this much anymore.

If you speak, you know you’ll cry. You can’t stand it.

Maybe, with enough repetition, he’ll get bored. He gets bored so easily, after all.

You turn, try to launch yourself over the guardrail again.

This time, it’s not his evol, but his arms that wrap around you, pull you back from the fall.

You struggle, throwing your elbows, kicking, throwing your head back, hoping to catch his perfect nose, break it under the hardness of your stupid, useless skull.

He says nothing, just holds you tighter, wraps one arm around your waist, the other over your chest, his big hand cradling the side of your face, pressing your head back into his own chest, as he hunches over you, an immovable wall of warmth. As you fight to break free of his hold, you are wrapped in his scent—cloves, gun oil.

Sylus.

Eventually, you tire yourself out—despite all of your strength, it is no match for his. He holds you against himself easily, as you pant, lungs burning with the effort, the sweat warm once again under your Hunter’s uniform. You become aware of a whimpering, the keening of a wounded animal.

It’s coming from your throat. Your eyes burn. You go limp in his arms.

“That’s it,” he murmurs. A voice like warm liquor in your veins. You think he’ll let you go. You prepare, hoping you can get to the guardrail again. Maybe this time he won't be so fast. But instead of releasing you, getting away from you as fast as he can, the arm around your waist moves up, cradling your upper back. He scoops his other arm under your legs, holds you against himself like you’re a delicate princess, if you were anyone else. But because it’s you, he’s probably just holding you like a useless sack of shit that would be too annoying to drop. He begins to walk, his stride steady, brisk.

He looks down into your face. “I bought a dress for you. Silk. A design like stars over a flowing river. That’s the only river you’re allowed in tonight, kitten.”

You stare at him. His breath puffs white in the cold air. The face of disgusted fury is replaced by his usual bored mask.

Why is he doing this to you? He wanted to kill you, just a few months ago. Why not let you do the job for him?

He is the only person in your life who didn’t take the hint. Who kept showing up, after you made it clear that you didn’t want their presence anymore. That you couldn’t handle the ties, because ties become nooses, snapping your neck when the other person leaves you behind.

When he showed up where you were, in a ‘coincidental’ meeting on the street, on a jog, you would turn, move in the other direction. He would match your stride, doggedly pestering you with questions, asking you about your evening or weekend plans, telling you silly stories from the N109 Zone, Luke and Kieran’s latest antics. Sometimes he’d just walk in contemplative silence, thumbs hooked through his belt loops, or jog quietly next to you, never losing his breath, never complaining about the pace.

When you would routinely see him at various restaurants you were headed to in order to pick up takeout, you’d leave your food, immediately turning and hurrying away. When the same food was delivered to your door half an hour later, you’d refuse to answer, letting the confused and irritated delivery man leave. A half hour after that, the same man would be back, yell through the door that he had instructions to leave the food even if no one answered, and then he’d make good on his promise. You were faced with the choice of either letting the food go to waste, or eating it guiltily at your kitchen island.

No matter how many times you told the delivery person of the almost daily packages you received with no return address that you didn’t want to accept delivery, they would always insist that their instructions were to deliver regardless of recipient response. You were welcome to bin the items after receipt, but if you didn’t accept, the packages would just pile so high outside of your door that you couldn’t reach your apartment anymore.

You would accept, and then donate whatever exquisite item was inside to women’s shelters, children’s homes, university museums, soup kitchens, fundraiser auctions. No matter how clear it was that you wouldn’t accept anything from him, Sylus never stopped sending you gifts.

When you were sick, he’d show up personally, barge into your apartment when you were too tired to look at the doorbell camera before answering, a duffel bag gripped in his big hand filled with fever reducing medicine, homemade soup from his home chef, painkillers, hot water bottles, cooling pads, muscle pads, vitamins. He’d lounge on your couch, manspreading, insisting that he wouldn’t leave until he saw you swallow the pills and drink a gigantic glass of water.

He’d wait until you lay back down on your messy bed, until you fell asleep. He’d be gone when you woke again, but your apartment would be clean and your fridge and freezer would be stuffed full of healthy pre-prepared food.

You were half-convinced he was just buttering, fattening his prey before getting bored and mercifully ending its life.

Tonight, you are now fully convinced.

“Did your tongue freeze in your mouth?” he asks, descending the stairs you had just walked up, thinking it was your last time ascending them. “Do you need mouth-to-mouth to warm it up again?”

You scowl at him, at how appealing the idea of Sylus’s tongue in your mouth is, even now. You hate yourself, your traitorous body for being drawn to him, even now. “What’s the point of talking, when you never listen?” you grind out, your throat sore. You hadn’t realized how much your animal wailing had wrecked your throat. At least the tears are no longer so close to the surface that they’re threatening to spill.

“I listen to every word out of your beautiful mouth,” he counters serenely, with that same inexplicable kindness that makes your heart hurt. So at odds with how you know he must really feel about you. “I just listen to more than your mouth in order to hear what you’re really saying.”

“What?” You stare at his beautiful face, the way the lamplight illuminates its sharp features for a brief moment, before the night swallows it again as he moves between lampposts on his way… somewhere. Back the way you just came from.

He spares you a glance. “Your mouth says one thing, while the rest of you is screaming something else.”

You feel the blood draining from your face. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

One corner of his beautiful mouth lifts. “Don’t play dumb, kitten. You’re too smart for it to be convincing.”

You were just falling into the river. You were just about to be free. How did you get here again? In this man’s arms, his smug, roguish smile filling you with the unease of being seen.

“I mean, it wouldn’t kill you to be a little more honest about the fact that you want people to fight for you, right?”

You begin to struggle again, shame lancing through you, making your body unbearable to be in. You know it’s weak, to have wanted so desperately that the people you were carving from your life would see what you were doing and stop you, place their hands over yours holding the cleaver, gently push it down, down, until it dropped from your grasp—how desperately you wanted them to step into your space, hold you tightly, just like this man who sees right through you is holding you now. You wanted Tara to keep inviting you out with your ridiculous colleagues, to sing your heart out at shitty karaoke clubs, to forcibly drag you to sleepovers and arcade nights. You wanted Xavier to push himself into your apartment, try to bake something horrible in your oven, sheepishly offer to go to the bakery with you instead when the fire alarm inevitably went off. You wanted Zayne to walk through the crowd to reach you at the other end of the hallway after you identified Josephine’s body, to ask to take your hand, to ask how you were doing, even though you knew you wouldn’t have been able to answer. You wanted Rafayel to keep inventing excuses for you to visit his studio, to keep insisting that he needed you to accompany him to expositions and fancy lunches as his bodyguard.

But none of them did in the end, and that’s okay. You kept pushing them away, because your terror of their leaving was apparently bigger than your need for their presence in your life, and at least if they were already gone, as they inevitably would be, you’d finally be free.

But the last person you would want to see this utterly humiliating need inside you, exposing you like this, is the one looking down at you right now with deceptively soft, all-seeing eyes.

You know the feeling, this need, of pulling away and pulling away and then being heartbroken when people finally let you is weak, and pathetic.

You may experience weak and pathetic feelings, but you’re not weak or pathetic. Not at your core. You were prepared to do what was necessary, to save yourself from the pain of your emptiness, the fire raging inside your chest. You weren’t asking anything of anyone. You were doing it all on your own.

Not a burden.

Never a fucking burden.

You clench your teeth, buck in Sylus’s arms.

He just holds you tightly, a straightjacket for the insanity that you’re feeling, the insanity of this man, out of all the people in your life, stripping you of your masks, flaying you so that all of your most tender, shameful parts are exposed to both him and yourself.

“Stop that. You’re just going to tire yourself further, when I need you tonight.”

Of course. The quid pro quo. He helped you with the auction, the Aether Core. Now you owe him. He doesn’t give a fuck if you live or die—he just can’t let one of his assets destroy itself before it fulfills his purpose.

You go limp in his arms. Turn your head away from him.

He continues his train of thought. “No, it wouldn’t kill you to tell the truth to your friends, so you decided to take matters into your own hands, huh? Telling the people in your life that you actually need them wouldn’t kill you, so why bother, right, when you can just jump off of a fucking bridge?” His voice sounds like the night you met him. Controlled anger. Disgust. Accusation.

Then there’s something wrong with her.

You thought you had killed everything inside of you already. The yearning for human connection. The kindness of a friend. Family holding you in their arms. You thought you had scooped out most of it, even as some of it rekindled when he pulled you back from the fall.

But the way you’re hurting now, at the memory of his hate, the reminder that the people you love won’t fight for you even if it would be fighting against you, and that this man, for all of his false generosity, never cared for you from the beginning, that his gifts and his visits were all what you knew them to be, all along—a bored predator toying with its prey before using it and consuming it.

You let your thoughts drift back to the bridge, push your pain away. Feed it to the fire. When he’s done with you, maybe you won’t even have to jump.

“Just shut up, Sylus. I’ll help you with your problem tonight. Just promise me you’ll toss me over yourself, when you’re done with me,” you tell the night, because you still can’t bring yourself to look at him.

He stops walking. The wind is so cold against your face. You wish he’d snap your neck, right now. You’re so fucking tired.

“Look at me.” His voice is low. Menacing.

You watch the water. Wonder how long it would take if you just walked out into it, without jumping. Just walk in with your stone-weighted coat and let the cold paralyze you, the current pull you under.

“Look at me, my heart,” he whispers. The change in his tone, his bizarre endearment, has you turning your head, looking up into his face. “That is one promise I can never make you.” He looks like he’s in pain. You don’t know why. He leans down, rests his forehead against yours, hunching his big shoulders, lifting your body in his arms so he can meet you. His breath is warm against your lips. “Please don’t talk to me like that.”

You want to snort. It’s rich, coming from him—the same man who is telling you not to tell him to shut up, after all the things he said to you as he starved you, strangled you.

“Please don’t tell me to kill you. To hurt you. That hurts me.”

You stare up into his face. See the sincerity in his eyes. The wind whips your hair. He wasn’t upset that you told him to shut up, but that you asked him to kill you? “What does it matter? Aren’t you going to, in the end?”

“Why would I stop you tonight, if I wanted you to die?”

Of course he won’t answer outright. When has Sylus Qin ever answered a direct question?

“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. Why bother stopping me, unless you just need to use me and then be done with me? I can’t be that irreplaceable. Just get someone else to put on the dress, and let me get on with my fucking life. Someone who you can train to say just the right things, at just the right time, who’ll look good in whatever fancy shit you want to put her in. There’s gotta be easier idiots than me to serve your purpose.”

He closes his eyes, breathes in the cold night air. When he opens them, you have to look away. You can’t handle whatever is in them. “I know I hurt you, when we first met. That I said cruel things to you. I’m sorry.”

You laugh, even as your heart wrenches at this strange apology. Of course he doesn’t explain what offended him so much about your existence at the beginning. Why he treated you exactly how you deserved. Probably just whatever he saw when he used his Aether Core on you. He saw the echoing chambers of your empty, fucked up heart and was enraged that it was you, and not someone worthy, who would absorb the Aether Core. “There’s never been any need to varnish the truth, Sylus. You almost choked me to death the day we met. You should have fucking finished what you started,” you sneer. “Why does no one ever finish what they start?” You think of Josephine, her researcher cronies. Think of Caleb, his promise to return, the last text he ever sent you. Your fucking parents, who you will never know.

You don’t expect an answer.

And yet, you’re surprised when Sylus wordlessly releases his hold on you. Lets you slip from his arms, sets you back on your feet. You settle in your heavy boots, the weight of your coat, the stones in your pockets, grounding you to the earth.

The lamplight shines in his silver-sheened, wind-tousled hair. His cheeks are red from the cold.

Of course. Of course.

No tool is irreplaceable.

You’re not irreplaceable.

You finally said the right thing, to push him away.

This is it. This is it. This is it.

Your mind returns to the bridge. Your hand is holding the cleaver, dripping with the blood from the last unwelcome tether to your life.

You try to memorize his face, just as you did Zayne’s, but for some reason looking at Sylus’s face hurts you so much more despite having known him for so little time. Just a sigh, in the timeline of your life. The warm glow of his irises. The softness of his lower lip. The pride in his shoulders, his nose.

Maybe you didn’t want to think of him before jumping because you had fallen in love with him, despite the fact that any affection he offered was counterfeit—the steady way he breathed next to you on a jog, the way he spread out on your couch, his dry humor, his intelligence, his piercing gaze, his kindness that was actually more cruel than if he had just tossed you out and never bothered to look for you again after the auction.

You knew it was fake. You knew it was calculated. You knew that the reality was, because he had told you from the very beginning—

Don’t tell me that you like me. Is this all so you can get my attention?

Clearly you’ve read too many fairytales.

And yet you had believed, in the bright moments of receiving his kind attention, in the fairytale. Just for a heartbeat. A raindrop, splattering on the ground.

You thought that you couldn’t bear to see what it looks like when Sylus finally tires of you pushing him away, and stops reaching out, as everyone else has.

But with just a few words, you’ve finally managed to do it. He set the burden of you down, and now he’ll walk away, replace you with some other beautiful, breathing tool.

You learn in this moment that you actually can bear it. You can bear anything, as long as you know that very soon, you won’t have to bear anything at all.

“You wanted the truth?” you say, suddenly, the relief flooding through you that the worst has happened, that you’re now actually free. You think of the fabric of the dress, liquid stars over a night river, and wonder whose body it will caress, with Sylus’s big hand on her waist, his gentle fingers drifting across her collarbone, his forehead pressed against hers, for whatever ruse he needs to run tonight, on Christmas Eve.

He grows still. Watches you carefully, as if searching your face for a trick. You look back at him steadily, scooping everything inside you out, letting it splatter onto the sidewalk, here along this dark riverbank.

“Will you give it to me?” he finally asks.

“As a parting thank you gift, for cutting me loose.” You nod. Take a shuddering breath of the frigid air. “Here is me telling you the truth: you should treat the woman who ends up wearing the dress you got with more gentleness than you did me at the beginning. You could have the world eating out of the palm of your hand, if you skip the cruelty at the beginning and just treat people the way you treated me in the last few months. She’ll do anything for you, I think, if you do. Because somehow you made me love you, despite our beginning. I could bear to cut everyone else loose but you.” You laugh, and the sound is like icicles snapping, shattering on the ground. “Thank you for doing it for me, instead. It’s probably the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

You smile at him.

You don’t know why you’re surprised that he just frowns deeply, brow furrowing.

Well. That’s okay. You never expected him to be pleased to see your face, smiling or not.

“Good luck, Sylus.”

You turn, begin to walk back the way you came, for the second time tonight. Your thoughts are already at the bridge. You’ve been falling for months now. Soon you’ll finally hit the crystal water and shatter.

You hope you won’t be reborn.

“You said you love me.” His deep, low voice is carried by the wind.

You stop, turn your head. “Stupid, huh?” you ask, wondering if he wants to pour salt into the wound you just willingly exposed to him.

“Why would you love someone who treated you the way I did?”

You turn fully, face him across the night, one last time. “You’re so fucking funny. I’ve always appreciated men who can make me laugh.” You shrug. “And I’m a pathetic fool. You pretended to be kind, and I lapped it up like the thirsty dog I am.”

He tilts his head, takes a step towards you. “That’s all?”

You take a step back. You don’t need him and his pretty face, his delicious scent any closer to torment you.

You offer him more truth. “Of course not.”

“What else?”

You sigh. “What does it matter? We’ll never see each other again.”

He shakes his head. “Indulge me.”

So salt, it is. You press your fingers into the most tender part of yourself, peel yourself wide open. “Your cleverness. How sweet you can be when you want something—strangely pliant, for such a big, powerful man. The self confidence you have. I could say, do anything and you did so well pretending to never be embarrassed of me. You made me believe, very briefly, that you really wanted to be with me, do anything, go anywhere, just because I was there. It’s quite impressive, really. I can see why you’re so good at business. You’re competent. You’re beautiful to look at.” You pause, shake your head in turn. “But you already know all that. You know why you’re loveable. You made me feel cherished in a way that no one ever has, even as I was pushing you away. But honestly, those are just parts of you. They don’t fully cover what it is about you that makes my heart ache when I look at you. I love you because you’re you. Even hearing your name makes my heart race. Seeing your shoes in my foyer, because they were on your feet. The curve of your wrist, because it belongs to you. I know it’s pathetic, and stupid.” You shrug again. “Can’t help it, though.”

He stares at you.

You prod him. “Is that enough?”

“How can you ask if that’s enough, when it’s everything?”

You look at him in confusion. “Huh?”

He takes a step towards you, frowning. “Are you only telling me all this because you think I’ve finally given up and allowed you to push me away, because I set you back on your feet?”

You take a step back, as he takes another step forward.“What do you mean ‘I think’ you’ve given up?” You squint at him.

“Did you only tell me all this because you’re going straight back to the bridge to try again?”

You take another step back at the intensity of his face, his question. “What does it matter? You don’t have to worry about what happens to me after this.”

He takes two steps. “You tell me you love everything about me, and then you plan to fuck off and leave me alone again?”

Okay, this was a mistake. You don’t know why he’s mad, but he’s mad again. “I’m sorry.”

You don’t know what else to say. You’ve been sorry your whole life. This is yet another miscalculation. You should have just left. What did you think would happen if you told him how you feel? That he’d be happy about your pathetic heart bleeding pitifully for him?

He strides over to you, his long legs outpacing your own. “If you’re sorry, don’t fucking do it.”

“What?”

He looks down into your face, so close you can smell him again, you can see the fine lines around his eyes as he frowns. “If you’re really sorry for loving me, for ever meeting me—which are the only things you have to be sorry for, then make it up to me by staying. Don’t leave me. Don’t push me away anymore. Just stay, and love me.”

You huff. “Are you really that desperate for help tonight?”

He lifts his hands, places his palms on your cheeks, his long fingers dipping into your hair. “No, I’m desperate for you tonight. It’s Christmas—I don’t give a shit about the holidays, but I know you do. I want to spend it with you. You made me watch you jump off of a goddamned bridge. What would have happened if I hadn’t already been on my way to you?” He sounds so upset. You’ve never seen him like this. The fear is naked on his lovely face.

“What the fuck are you talking about? What does it matter? You said you could get someone else for the dress, for tonight.” You’re so confused. Why is he acting like this?

“I didn’t say any of that. You suggested that I replace you with someone else, I set you on the ground to make sure you were looking at my face, that you were listening to my words when I told you that you’re irreplaceable. That no one else will do. That after watching you almost die, I can’t continue being cautious and trying not to frighten you away anymore.”

“You… what?”

“You love me. Right? You weren’t lying?” he looks uncertain, like he can’t quite believe it.

You can’t bring yourself to lie. The truth is out. You’re witnessing the fallout. There’s no point in backpedaling. “Yeah.”

He nods, once, decisively. “Okay. That’s enough.”

You sigh in relief. Maybe he’ll let you go, finally, finally.

He checks his chunky watch, the platinum flashing in the lamplight. “There’s still time.”

“Time for what?”

“For my plans tonight. Come.” He closes the distance, sweeps you into his arms again, cradles your body against him like something fragile.

“What plans? Listen—” you start to argue.

“No. Now it’s my turn to speak, and for you to listen.” he squeezes you tightly. “Today was the last day you spend alone. If you can’t live for yourself, then you can live for me, until you remember why you want to live for yourself again. No matter what you say, or what you do to get rid of me, it’s not going to work.”

You can’t even process what is happening. “What are you—?” you begin, but he cuts you off again.

His voice is strained, rough. “You love me. So you have to take responsibility. You have to stay.”

You don’t know what to say.

I’m desperate for you tonight.

You can’t believe this. He hates you. He has hated you from the beginning. He was so kind to you because he wanted to use you for something he never bothered explaining to you. He needs you for your resonance, your amplification of his powers.

You’re irreplaceable. No one else will do.

Because of your resonance?

I don’t give a shit about the holidays, but I know you do.

He carries you along the wind-swept riverbank, through the frigid night. Stars above, stars below.

You made me watch you jump off a goddamned bridge.

You didn’t think anyone was left to care.

You were so careful, severing ties like arteries, so that you wouldn’t leave the world with more pain than you found it. It was already bleeding so much.

You just were so tired of bleeding with it.

As if sensing the turn of your thoughts, Sylus carries you to the edge of the river’ embankment, where the concrete falls away, drops into the water.

He sets you down again, but doesn’t let you go. His big hands slide down the outside of your coat, dip into your pockets.

He pulls out a smooth stone. Turns it in his hands.

“I’ll never understand how someone so light can weigh so heavily in me,” he murmurs, almost to himself. “But you’re a weight I’ll carry for as long as you let me.”

His ember eyes flick back to yours. He hands you the stone.

“This is your conviction that the world won’t miss you, if you’re gone. You will hold it in your hand, one last time. And then you will throw it in the water.” He wraps your cold fingers around the stone. Somehow, his fingers are still warm.

You grasp it, look up into his face. You see yourself in them. It hurts, to be seen so clearly. You’re so ashamed. “How did you know?”

He closes his eyes, shakes his head a little. Opens them. “I looked into your soul, the day we met. I know you’re too soft-hearted in this life to kill yourself if you thought it would hurt someone else. You don’t carry that spite, anymore.”

In this life.

Anymore.

You can’t bring yourself to ask him what he means. You only know that once again, Sylus Qin has seen inside you, has seen you, in a way no one else ever has.

“But I don’t think anyone would miss me. I made sure of it.”

He huffs. “You’re a fool, if you actually believe that. The people you’ve pushed away still love you. But if you can’t believe that yet, then you can’t pretend to yourself that you’re disposable anymore, if for no other reason than I’m standing here now, telling you that I would miss you.”

You think of Tara, sitting on your desk, nudging a steaming latte she got for you on her way to work toward you, asking if you’ve heard the latest about Simone and Andrew.

You think of Xavier, walking you to your door at the end of a nasty wanderer encounter, reaching out, brushing a bit of mud off your cheek, then smearing it across his own cheek. See, we match now.

You think of Zayne, waiting across a busy hallway, patient, letting you choose to approach him, and respecting you by letting you walk away.

You think of Raf, the beauty he shares with you with every photo, the funny strings of emoji that don’t demand an answer.

“How do you know, that they would miss me?” you ask Sylus quietly.

“I’ve been watching you for a long time, sweetie. Do you think I haven’t seen your friends’ faces when you walk away from them?”

You clutch the stone in your hand. “I don’t think I can change my thoughts, my conviction, just like that.”

“You love me, so you have to try. Throw it. Every time you try to drag it back up, I’ll remind you that you threw it away, and you can let it stay at the bottom of the river.” He reaches up, caresses your cheek with his fingertips.

You want to cry. You want to cry, because you’re so afraid. If you let yourself believe that people love you, you have to stay, for them. You have to feel, every day, the weight of grief, of existence, the pain of being alive, of being inside yourself, your body. The hollowness will return, even with your friends, even with Sylus filling most of it.

It’s like he can read your thoughts as his eyes devour your face, as his fingers tuck a lock of hair behind your ear. “I won’t let you pretend, anymore. You love me, and I will not survive if you aren’t here with me. So you have to stay. We don’t have to accept that life is a curse. We can fight back. Make it something better.”

“I’m scared,” you say.

His eyes are so tender, as he watches your mouth form your biggest truth, set it free in the night. “I will protect you, until you can protect yourself again. There’s nothing to be afraid of, if we’re together.”

You want to believe him. Your heart beats painfully behind your ribs. The moon is a sharp crescent in the sky.

But you’re a weight I’ll carry for as long as you let me.

“You’ll really stay?”

He finally smiles, a faint Sylus smile that feels like a grin. “I told you. Today was the last day you’ll ever be alone. You can’t get rid of me now, no matter what you do, or say.”

You turn, holding the stone in your cold hands. You think of all the lies you’ve been telling yourself, about your friends, your place in their lives, because you were so tired of living with an unnameable grief, one you carried inside you long before Caleb and Josephine died, but whose loss compounded, made unbearable the original sorrow.

And I will not survive if you aren’t here with me.

You don’t know why he feels this way. Does he love you too? He hasn’t said so. Can he even love you, in the way you love him?

Does it matter?

It’s enough, that he says he’ll stay. That he wants you to stay alive. That he’ll help remind you, when the whispers drift back in your mind, telling you that you’re just a burden, that no one actually loves you, would miss you when you’re gone. When the hollowness echoes so loudly it’s all you can hear.

You lean back, lift the stone, throw it as hard as you can, as far as you can, into the rushing river.

You don’t hear its splash over the wind.

You turn back to Sylus.

He dips into your pocket again. Pulls out another stone. “Your guilt, for having lived. For having been born.”

You take it from him. Let your mind drift. Feel along the contours of your memories, the jagged, missing pieces, all the way back to when it fades to black. You throw the stone.

You don’t see it sink to the riverbed.

He dips into your pocket again. “Your shame, for needing others. For being human, and imperfect. For not being able to do it all alone. For wanting to be loved.”

You take the stone. “Is it really okay?” you ask, helplessly. There’s no point pretending everything he is saying isn’t true. “To want these things, when I haven’t earned them?”

He steps closer to you. Places his hands on your shoulders, draws you in. “There is no okay, or not okay. There is no crime and punishment, no transgression, no sin. How can it be shameful, to want what you were born to want? Why does love have to be earned, instead of just given?”

You lean into him, press your face into his chest, his thick wool coat soft against your skin.

“I don’t know.”

He reaches into your pocket, places a stone in your other hand. “One for your shame, one for the idea that love must be earned. Throw them.”

You lean back again, and it’s already too far away from him. But you throw each stone, and they disappear under the cold water.

“That’s enough, for now. We’ll take the rest home.” He draws you back into his arms. Lifts you without effort, stone-filled pockets and all. The weight of all of you. “When you have thoughts of shame, of guilt, of not being loved, we’ll come back. You’ll throw them again. Until they’re all gone. We’ll gather other stones, when other feelings make life unbearable. I’ll come with you, as many times as you need.”

Sylus carries you along the path back to the road that snakes along the river. His motorcycle gleams under a bright lamppost.

He settles a helmet on your head, checks to make sure it’s secure. Puts his own on. You sit behind him, cling to him. Rest your head against his broad back, close your eyes. The motorcycle is loud, and he drives it carefully through the busy, holiday bustling streets, until he reaches your apartment building. He holds your hand as he leads you through the front doors, as he stands quietly beside you in the elevator, his red, warm eyes never leaving your face in the elevator mirrors. He leads you to your front door, waits patiently while you unlock it with your cold finger.

In the hallway, he kneels at your feet, unlaces your tall boots while you look down at him, the soft fall of his silver hair, his big, nimble fingers working the laces.

He then removes his own boots. His coat. He’s wearing a garishly bright Christmas sweater, with prancing reindeer. He hangs his coat on a peg in the wall. He turns, slowly unzips yours. Eyes flicking between the zipper and your face. He gently lifts it from your body, again like it’s weightless, even though it’s still filled with stones. He pulls it from your arms, hangs it next to his.

He pulls you further into your place.

The first thing you notice is the warmth. It’s so warm, like someone came in while you were gone and turned on the heating.

The next thing you notice is the Christmas tree. The one you didn’t get this year, because the thought of the holidays without Caleb and your grandmother was unbearable.

Beautifully, tastefully decorated. Silver and gold, twinkling lights. Its pine scent fills your place.

Sylus moves to a record player on one of the cabinets along your living room wall. A record player that wasn’t here before you went to work today. He fiddles with the arm, and suddenly Joni Mitchell’s River fills your house.

It’s coming on Christmas

They’re cutting down trees

They're putting up reindeer

And singing songs of joy and peace

Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on

He walks back to you. “Is this okay?”

I wish I had a river so long

I would teach my feet to fly

Whoa I wish I had a river I could skate away on

The music flows around you, paralyzing you. You stare into his face, into the warm glow of his eyes. How could you have missed this? The way he’s looking at you now? Through all the long months since the auction?

He tried hard to help me

You know, he put me at ease

And he loved me so naughty

Made me weak in the knees

Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on

The words wash over you, through you. The scent of pine warms you, memories without form filling you with the sense of home, safety, love.

I made my baby cry

I'm so hard to handle

I'm selfish and I'm sad

Now I've gone and lost the best baby

That I ever had

Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on

He takes your hands in his, thumbs across your skin. “Is it too much?”

You think of how cold it was, standing on the guardrail of the bridge.

You were running toward the bridge, while Sylus was filling your home with warmth.

What would have happened if I hadn’t already been on my way to you?

You think of him spreading out on your couch, as a fever raged through your body. You think of your freezer, filled with food. You think of the takeout boxes, still steaming, sitting in front of your closed door.

You think of him hanging delicate ornaments on a fragrant tree.

I made my baby cry

You shake your head, the enormity of what almost happened filling you. The enormity of the choice you made, that you enacted, until Sylus pulled you back from the rushing dark.

You start to shake.

“Kitten?”

“It’s not too much,” you say, teeth chattering. “It’s wonderful. Thank you.”

He stares down at you, seems to make a decision. “Shower. Now.”

You nod, moving away from him, but he follows.

Inside your small bathroom, he takes up the entire space. He peels off your hunter’s uniform, tosses it beyond the open bathroom door. His gaze flicks from your undershirt, your underwear, to your face. “Do you want me to leave?”

You think of the dark water, an impact that never came. Sylus plugging in the record player, choosing a record with one of your favorite Christmas songs on it. Placing it delicately on the turntable.

“No. You promised you’d never leave me alone again.”

He smiles a little. “I mean, leave the bathroom.”

“No. You promised you’d never leave me alone again,” you repeat.

He stares into your eyes. Nods. Lifts your undershirt. He reaches behind you, unhooks your bra with the same agility that he unlaced your boots. He lifts it from your body, watches you as he lifts it to his nose, inhales.

You shiver.

He tosses the bra behind him. Kneels. Pulls your underwear from your hips, down your legs. You step out of them. He stands again.

He leans over, his ridiculous, festive sweater soft against your cheek, as he reaches past you to turn on the shower faucet. As he messes with the knobs until steam begins to fill the small space. He nudges you forward, past the sliding glass door and into the small shower cabin, letting the hot water pour over you. You turn, watch him through the clear glass. He picks up your underwear, watches you as he lifts it to his nose, inhales as he did with your bra. His eyes close for a moment, and then open. He tucks the little slip of fabric into his pants pocket, sits on the closed toilet, rests his elbows on his knees, and continues to watch you.

You let the hot water flow over your tired, cold body. You stare at Sylus’s face, let it fill your vision, blot out the rushing river, the impact that never came, the idea of everything you would have missed, if he hadn’t pulled you out. Everything you would have missed, in such a short amount of time. What else would you miss, if he hadn’t caught you? If he could give you so much within an hour, how much would you have missed in a day? In a week?

What have you been fighting, this whole time?

Just yourself.

You think of the stones at the bottom of the riverbed, instead of your body. Your conviction that you’re not loved, your guilt, your shame, instead of you.

You stare at the man who handed you each one, and told you to get rid of them, instead of yourself. The man sitting in your tiny bathroom, filling it with his big body, his even bigger presence, staring at you, staring at him.

You stop shaking.

Reach for the body wash, lather your hands. Run your hands along your body, under your armpits. He frowns, eyes on your hands. You palm your breasts, dip between your legs.

He lowers his head, eyes still on your hands, rests his full lips on his long steepled fingers.

You finish lathering your body, let the water wash it away. He’s too far away, even this close, on the other side of the glass.

As you turn off the water, he stands, lifts one of your towels from the rack. Holds it out for you. You step into it, him, let him wrap it around you. He turns you both, so that you’re looking in the bathroom mirror, which is mostly fogged.

“Better?” he asks.

You nod, soaking in his warmth at your back, the steam of the bathroom.

You have a question, a question you can’t bring yourself to say out loud yet.

You reach out with one hand. Trace a finger through the fogged mirror.

Sylus watches you, resting his chin on your shoulder.

Letters, a question.

Do you like me? Circle yes or no

Sylus smiles again, lifts an eyebrow. He reaches out, takes your hand in his. He circles no with your finger.

You frown, heart sinking, but Sylus just whispers, “Patience, kitten,” and flattens your palm across like. Guides your finger again, just above the erased like, drags it through the moisture in an elegant script.

love

He then gently sets your hand down. Lifts his own, circles with one long finger, yes.

He watches your reaction in the mirror.

You had no idea.

This whole time, you had no idea, even though he was showing you, with every ‘chance’ encounter, his pestering you with questions about work, life, his silly stories about the N109 Zone. His packages at your door. Fever medication, a big glass of water shoved into your hands.

You think of the rushing water, what almost happened. What you almost missed.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you let me believe you still hated me?”

He looks down at you now, away from your reflection in the mirror. His eyes trail your face, down your curved neck. He palms the back of your neck, his thumb drifting along the side, over a mole there.

“Have you heard of the myth that where we have moles is where someone kissed us in a past life?”

Even if so much has changed between you in just the last few hours, you’re reassured that Sylus Qin still can’t answer a straightforward question with a straightforward answer.

You shake your head. “No, I had never heard of that.”

Sylus smiles, and it looks a little sad. He leans down, presses the softest of kisses against your skin, the mole there. “Like most human legends, it’s a pretty lie. Not quite true.”

You laugh. “I could have guessed as much.” You tilt your neck, enjoying the press of his warm lips on your skin for the first time.

He opens his mouth, runs his teeth over where he just kissed you. Bites, gently.

You shiver again. Press your neck into, instead of away from his teeth.

He bites harder.

You gasp.

“I was afraid I’d frighten you with the enormity of my feelings for you, when in your mind, we’d only just met,” he murmurs against your neck, his saliva, the indentation of his teeth hot on your skin.

He bites again, presses himself into your ass through the towel. You realize he’s hard.

You forget about the last part of his sentence. Had you not only just met?

You lift your hands, let the towel unfurl from around your body, let it drop to the floor.

You almost died tonight.

What have you been fighting this whole time?

Just yourself.

He tried hard to help me

You know, he put me at ease

You turn in his arms. He’s breathing hard, cheeks pink.

“You love me?”

He closes his eyes. Opens them. Shakes his head. “Love isn’t intense enough.”

“Adore me?” You lift your arms, wrap them around his neck. Pull his face closer to your own.

He shakes his head again. “Still not enough.”

“You won’t survive without me?” You lift on your toes, his soft sweater almost unbearable against your sensitive nipples.

He nods. “You’re getting closer. Can’t breathe without you. When I saw you jump…” He swallows, thickly. “You might as well have pulled me down with you, beloved. If it ever gets to be too much again, take me with you. I’ll never leave you alone again. Promise me the same,” he demands, big, calloused hands running up your naked sides, the fabric of his dark jeans rough against your body, where your thighs meet, as he helplessly nudges against you again with his hips, his hard dick behind his zipper.

I'm so hard to handle

I'm selfish and I'm sad

“I wouldn’t have known, unless you told me,” you breathe against his lips. “Promise that you’ll tell me how you’re feeling from now on, and I’ll promise to take you with me if I can’t leave the stones in the riverbed, even with you here.”

His voice is deep, rough like the fabric of his pants against your sensitive skin. “Deal.” He closes the distance, presses his soft lips to yours. Licks into your mouth.

And he loved me so naughty

Made me weak in the knees

His hands drift down your sides as his tongue dips into your throat, as he swallows your noises of pleasure, just from kissing him, his hands on you. He grips your ass, urges your legs around his waist. He carries you out of the tiny, steaming bathroom, manages not to knock you against the doorway, or into any furniture on the way to your bedroom, even as he continues to kiss you, as your hands in his soft hair probably block his peripheral view. He lays you down on your bed, the puff of your duvet. It’s so warm in your place that you’re not even shivering. You watch as he pulls his cheerful sweater and undershirt over his head, tosses them to the floor. As he unzips himself, hastily yanks down his pants and boxers, his socks. He blankets you with his big body.

You wrap your arms around him, pull him tightly to you, arch your breasts into his chest. He leans down, runs his nose along your cheek, inhales the scent of your hair at your temple. You just feel each other, for a long stretch of time. His soft chest hair against your skin, the silken skin of his dick between your thighs where he just leisurely rubs himself against you, as your palms run down the muscles of his back, the line of his spine. You’ve refused to think of him like this, ever since he wrapped his hand around your throat. You couldn’t bear his beauty, through all the long months that followed. You fled, every time your heart raced at the flash of silver as he approached you, met you where you were, over and over and over.

But now he says he has loved you, through it all. That he’ll never leave you alone again.

You let yourself feel him, under your hands, under your tongue, as you lick into his ear, feel him shiver. As you squeeze your thighs together, offering him a tight, snug space for him to keep pleasuring himself, as you feel your own wetness begin to coat your inner thighs, his cock, the longer you feel him on top of you, inhale the scent of his skin, the ever-present gun oil, the cloves, his clean sweat underneath it all.

After a lifetime, or only a few minutes, he leans down, says softly into your ear. “I want you. Tell me you want me too.”

“Can’t you tell?” you ask, bucking a little, squeezing him with your legs again.

He makes a low, pleasured sound in his throat. “I want to hear you say it. You’ve gone through a lot tonight. I need to know you actually want this. That you’re not just—” his breath hitches, as you move your hips again, as his dick slips between your wet, soft places. “That you’re not too tired to say otherwise, not thinking straight.”

“Use your Aether Core on me. Then you’ll know that my body is telling you what my mouth would, if I said the words.” You smile at him, teasing.

I wish I had a river so long

I would teach my feet to fly

You had wanted to fly. You had settled for flying for a brief moment, before shattering.

But Sylus is offering you constant flight, under, over, along his crow’s wings.

You think of the rushing water. The tide of cars behind you, the wind whipping your hair. You almost missed this. You don’t want to waste any more time.

He lowers his forehead to yours, breathes, speaks against your saliva-slick lips with his own. “I don’t want to use my Aether Core on you. I want the words in your mouth, in your heart. I want your free will, your freely given consent. I almost lost you because I tried to force you, at the beginning. You believed I hated you, this whole time. Don’t ask me to force you again, my heart.”

You understand. You accept his request, his demand. “I want you, Sylus.”

He exhales, shifts above you, slips his wet cock between your legs, slides into your body with gentle, firm, graceful waves of his hips.

You whine, the feeling of fullness layering into the pleasure of the warmth of his skin, the taste of his tongue. For once, the feelings inside you threatening to burst out of your skin are so good, instead of painful, so pleasurable, that you can barely stand it.

He kisses you, his velvet tongue big, heavy in your mouth. You suck, whine again as he lifts a hand, palms your breast, begins to thrust into you.

You are filled with him. His warmth. The size of him.

You widen your legs, wrap them around his thick ass. Urge him with your own body to move faster, to fuck you harder. He gives you everything you want. Just the pressure of his body against yours has you coming, the release bright, sudden—you shake with it.

Your pleasure seems to trigger his. He grunts, roots into you, buries his teeth in your neck, bites where he bit you before, over the mole on your neck. The sting makes you clench, and he whimpers, groans, comes with a jerk of his hips.

He slows, still filling you, still pleasuring you, as he lifts his head to look into your eyes.

You stare at each other, breath mingling, warm between you.

You smile at him.

He smiles at you. Nudges your nose with his.

“Can we do that again?” you ask.

He laughs, low and surprised. “Yeah,” he says, kissing you softly. “Just tell me, and I’m yours, anytime, anyplace.”

“I’m telling you.” You move your hips, feel his cum drip drown your ass. Feel him gasp at your movement.

“Now?” He’s surprised again.

“Problem?” you grin at him.

“Fuck no.” He kisses you, hard. Slips out of you. Flips you over, lifts your hips with one big hand, pressing his other between your shoulder blades.

He presses his cock back between your legs, the slide easy and wet, and fucks you until you come again, until he blankets your back with his sweat-slicked, matted-hair chest.

“Was that enough, your highness?” he teases.

“I’m telling you,” you pant, wondering what he’ll do.

“As you wish,” he murmurs, before flipping you again. Before watching your face as he slowly, leisurely works himself, his cum into you, makes you come again.

In the morning, the sky through your windows is heavy, dark, gray. You wake slowly. Turn your head, find Sylus’s sleeping face next to yours on the pillow. He’s lying on his stomach. You take in the dark sweep of his lashes, his generous mouth, slightly parted.

You slip out of the bed, use the bathroom. You wander into the living room, gaze at the Christmas tree, its twinkling lights.

It’s Christmas.

Caleb and your grandmother are dead.

But you’re still alive.

Your body aches from Sylus’s efforts, but it feels good. For once, it feels good to be inside your body. To breathe deeply.

You think of riverstones, sinking deep in the riverbed.

You know that the feelings tied to them will try to rise, clawing to the surface again.

We’ll gather other stones, when your feelings make life unbearable. I’ll come with you, as many times as you need.

Your eyes drift to the top of the Christmas tree. It’s empty.

“I thought we should finish it together.” Sylus’s warm arms wrap around you from behind. He leans over your shoulder, kisses your cheek softly. “Do you want to do the honors?”

You smile, wrapping your hands over his forearms around your waist. “You’re taller.”

“Use me as much as you like, kitten.” He turns, grabs a pretty golden glass tree-topper from your kitchen table, hands it to you. He lifts you up onto one shoulder, easily, and you fit it gently over the highest point of the tree. He holds you against him, as he lowers you. You slide along his body, until he sets you gently on your feet again.

You both stand, admiring it for a moment. It’s beautiful, like the rest of the decorations.

You hug him, look up into his face.

“Merry Christmas, Sylus.”

He smiles down at you, ruby eyes twinkling with reflected light from the tree.

You would have missed this moment, and all the moments like it, if Sylus hadn’t stopped you last night. You shudder, hug him more tightly.

You know your feelings will return. That no one person can solve a lifetime of wounds. But you promised him that you’d try. That you’d stay. You can only do your best.

You hear your phone vibrating, reluctantly pull away from him, head to your coat in the hallway where you thought you left it last night, but Sylus stops you. He points at your kitchen island. Your phone is lying on the counter. You look at him in confusion, but go to check it.

You’re shocked at how many missed texts you have.

From Tara.

Xavier.

Your eyes widen.

Zayne, who you thought you had blocked, months ago.

Rafayel, who you’re sure you blocked last night.

Each one is a response from a text you never sent. Telling them Merry Christmas. Telling them you love them. Telling them you hope to spend time with them soon.

None of them shame you, call you out on your behavior of the last year. Even Zayne simply suggests that you try a new bakery, that you’ve been in his thoughts, that he’s relieved you felt comfortable enough to reach out. Rafayel sends a bunch of firework emojis, suggests blowing shit up on the beach for New Year’s.

You turn to Sylus.

He looks steadily back at you, silver hair sleep-tousled, wine-bright eyes glowing.

Your eyes feel hot, and you realize you’re crying, the tears fat on your cheeks, dripping down your neck.

This is the first time you’ve cried since you woke up, your ears deafening, Caleb’s necklace bright in the reflected fire.

Sylus walks over to you. Leans down, licks the tears from your cheeks with his warm tongue, one after the other. He kisses you, ignoring your suddenly snotty nose, your morning breath.

“If it’s too much, we can take it slow. We can throw more stones in the river. But please answer your friends. You need them. And you’re a fool, if you can’t see that they need you too, if that makes you feel better about your own need.”

You continue to cry as you wrap your arms around Sylus’s neck. As he gently sways with you, to music that isn’t playing. He hums, and you think it’s Joni Mitchell’s The River, but you can’t be sure. You smile against his chest.

A thought occurs to you.

“Last night, you said there was still time. That you had plans for us, a pretty dress for me. What did we miss?”

Sylus sighs, holds you closer against himself. “Don’t worry about it.”

You stop, look up into his face. “What did you have planned, Sylus? Are you sorry we missed it?”

He smiles at you. “Oh yes, so sorry I got to spend all night fucking you instead of going to a holiday concert featuring the organ.” His voice drips sarcasm. “But we can go tonight, if you’d like to make it up to me.”

You laugh, bury your face back into his chest. “And here I had planned to suck your cock while watching a black and white Christmas film marathon tonight,” you say forlornly. You smile into his chest as he chokes. “Oh well, the concert it is.”

He just laughs, rich and deep, and continues to sway you slowly in your living room.

“Merry Christmas, my heart,” Sylus says against your hair, in your pine scented apartment, as snow begins to fall outside your windows, as your phone continues to vibrate, filled with the love of your friends.

Here you are. Again.

You’re so grateful, to be here, again.

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace sylus #sylus x reader #my fanfic

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sun-kissy · 2 days ago

Text

heart | bucky barnes

bucky barnes x reader — ★ — wc 1k

summary: bucky asks you why you love him

tw: hurt/comfort, tears, angst to fluff, bucky is so precious and needs to be protected at all costs 🥹

The rain poured violently outside, hitting the ground in torrents. But the doors muffled it to barely audible thumps. Thump. Thump. Thump.

The repetitive sound ran through your mind like some kind of mantra, too tired to think of much else. Paired with the feeling of Bucky’s hair on your fingertips, it was almost meditative.

You sat curled up on the couch with his head in your lap. You had wanted to get started on your next read, The Hobbit — but Bucky insisted on annotating it before you did, claiming it would help you understand it better. So you let yourself relax while he did.

You’re broken out of your reverie by the soft sound of your name, and look down to see Bucky gazing up at you.

“Yeah?”

“Can we… talk for a bit?”

You think he looks a little nervous, though you’re not sure why. It makes you nervous. “Sure, what’s up?”

He marks the book before closing it, pushing himself up into a sitting position. His tongue juts into the side of his mouth, eyebrows bunching up as he turns to face you.

Bucky doesn’t say anything for a bit. He just stares down at the couch. It’s like you can hear him playing with different responses on the tip of his tongue, frown widening by the second.

You’re restless, almost dying to ask him what had happened. But you hold back for his sake.

Finally, he sighs and meets your gaze for a split second before diverting it again. “Why do you…” He clears his throat. “Why do you do this?”

You blink. “Do what?”

“Why do you —“ he sighs and runs his hand through his hair. He looks perplexed. “You know, be with me and stuff. Why do you love me?”

There’s a sensation in your heart, a tad bit worse than sinking. It’s like drowning.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.”

You stay quiet, taking a moment to collect your thoughts. Bucky seems to take it as his sign to continue.

“I’ve done so many awful things, doll, and you know it. I — I’ve hurt people, fuck, I even murdered them. I’m a murderer. And I —“

“That wasn’t your fault.”

“You always say that.” It felt like someone was stabbing you in the heart, right through the little atrium where your heart begins to beat. “You always say it. But it’s not true, it’s not. It’s my fucking fault. I killed those people.”

“Bucky,” you know you sound worried, and that it might freak him out. But you can’t bring yourself to care right now, seeing his head hung between his hands like that. Though it was months ago, he looks as tortured as he did on the day you first met. On the day he had just been saved from Hydra — and it scared you.

He doesn’t respond.

“Buck,” you try again, softer, hesitantly reaching out to rub his arm. He lets you. “I mean it, you know? I mean it when I say it’s not your fault. You were brainwashed. You wouldn’t have done… any of it, if it were up to you.”

“But that’s just the thing, isn’t it? It wasn’t up to me. Brainwashed or not, I still did it.”

There’s nothing but biting anguish in his voice; self deprecation at the tip of it.

“You didn’t choose to.”

He takes a shuddering inhale, and that’s when you know he’s holding back tears. It wasn’t visible to you. But it’s audible now. “Hey. Hey, babe.”

You scoot closer towards him, hand on his arm drifting round to his back.

You give the nape of his neck a gentle squeeze, and it seems to be all the reassurance he needs to let go. A strangled sob escapes him.

“Okay. It’s okay, Buck. You can let go, yeah? Just let go,” you say, trying to ignore the dull ache in your heart as you wrap your arm around him.

Bucky starts to cry, softly at first. Then he starts to shake, pent up sobs coming out like a storm after rain. It’s heartbreaking. He instinctively curls into you, and you hold him.

“You didn’t choose to do it. Any of it,” you murmur again. He pushes his face into your chest, tears and snot and self-hatred and all. You take it as a sign that you’re getting through to him. “You were forced, my love. You didn’t want to do those things —“ you rub his back, hoping it conveys all the love that you need it to, “— so it’s not your fault. It never has been, and it never will be.”

Perhaps you sound a little choked up. Maybe Bucky notices, and that’s why he wraps his arms around you. Or maybe it’s because he loves you, and love is sometimes worth fighting your demons for.

You don’t say anything for a while more; you know he doesn’t need you to. What he needs is for you to hold him in your arms, let him feel safe as he cries. You do exactly that. You’ll do anything for him.

“I love you,” you murmur again after a bit, when his tears have slowed and sniffles are softer. You realised you never really answered his question in the first place.

“I love you because you’re you, Bucky,” you start. “You’re soft, and sweet, and —“ you’re tearing up now, but you can’t help it. You hug him tighter. “— and you make my coffee just the way I like it. You kiss me and it makes me feel like the most precious thing in the world. You hold me when I cry, and buy me flowers like I’m worth it.”

“You are worth it,” he croaks quietly, voice muffled in your chest.

“I know I am. I know, because you showed me,” you warble, burying your face in his hair. “And I need you to believe the same. You are worth it. You can hate yourself every second of every day, and I will still love you. I’ll always love you.”

Bucky tilts his head upwards slightly to press a wet kiss to your collarbone. His lips graze the skin above your heart. “You really believe what you’re saying, huh?”

“I do,” you whisper, no hesitation. “I love you.”

You feel his hand in your hair, another soft kiss to your heart. “I love you.”

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mysunshinetemptress · 2 days ago

Text

Smarter

Leah Williamson x reader

Warnings: Long, mentions of smut but not really, crappy writing

Leah thinks she’s smart, or at least that she has outsmarted you. You don’t know, no you can’t know there is no way on earth you know she’s careful so so careful.

She leaves the car in the park across the street, she only goes during certain times, when she’s going for a run, 6pm on weekdays and 9 am on the weekends.

Leah doesn’t venture out that way any other time unless it’s with you, when you beg and plead to go for a stroll around the park, hands intertwined together as you talk and talk. Do you ever stop talking ? She thinks to herself one day as you walk around the park.

Leah’s not paying attention not that she does anymore because she only agrees to go to the park mid afternoon on the weekends when she knows SHE’S out running, running around the park that you’re walking in. The park you picture your kids running around in at the same time Leah tracks HER with her eyes watching HER run closer to you both.

You don’t suspect a thing Leah thinks, no she knows you don’t suspect anything, she’s careful. She doesn’t wear perfume, she makes sure SHE isn’t wearing perfume, no lipstick nothing that could leave a mark nothing that could leave a scent that you could pick up on.

She ensures her stuff is folded neatly her wedding band placed on top, so that she isn’t missing anything, so that she doesn’t accidentally take anything, she fleeces her pockets making sure nothing has been left in them.

It happened once, SHE thought she was being cute, sexy even leaving HER red thong tucked into Leah’s coat pocket, Leah had only found it as she got into the car and it fell out onto the seat.

They had their first argument then. “I’m married, you can’t be giving me your knickers thinking it’s sexy, if my wife finds out that I…” SHE laughs “if she finds out what that you’re cheating on her.” It ends there, the argument. Leah swears to herself that she double checks everything before leaving the park.

Lying is easy for Leah now, it happens without a single thought, she can still remember the first time it happened. “God love your stats from your run are crazy did you sprint the entire time.” You know how long it takes her to run 5k, 10k even, of course you do you’ve played together forever but her stupid watch is going to get her caught she thinks. “I just wanted to push myself, you know I just..I wanted to prove to myself I could do it.” Leah hates the way your face softens, the way you automatically go into supportive mode, you remind her for the rest of the day how amazing she is, that she’s doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone not even herself. You hold her and tell her how amazing she is and she hates it.

But now it’s a second hand response she doesn’t think of it, doesn’t think twice of you caring for her that bit more, she doesn’t blink as it leads to more, she leads it to more every time and you go along with it, she needs this, your wife needs this and so you do it, and for a split second the world is alright.

She thinks she’s smart, that she never forgets to slip her ring back on, she tried to leave it on once but it felt so heavy and she panicked taking it off, it was her granny’s ring the one her grandpa gave to her on their wedding, she couldn’t do that to them, to the ring that had seen so much love.

Leah’s smart, she knows she’s smart but all it takes is one trip for the entire thing to come tumbling down.

She’s late home from running not by much but by enough that your suspicions arise, Leah doesn’t do late, early is late for Leah and so you wonder what takes her so long, she rush’s in moments later apologies thrown left and right and she pulls you into a heated kiss.

You want to tell her, you can’t wait to tell her but she’s all frazzled and not paying attention and if you say it now it won’t be as special and she’s not wearing her ring.

Wait she’s not wearing her ring, “Le darling where is your ring.” Leah freezes slightly before you watch her hand reach into her pocket pulling it out “sorry I took it off i think my fingers swelling from that handball in practice and I didn’t want it to get stuck.” You soften holding out your hand “oh Le I’ll get you some ice.” Leah hands over her ring and watch’s you slip it on top of your own so that you don’t lose it.

Leah sits down watching you walk around the kitchen, pulling you in to stand between her legs before pulling you into a kiss, “will you stop I have to pee” you hit her playfully before heading out the kitchen.

This isn’t Leah’s ring, it’s to light, sure it’s similar but it’s not it, you know this for a fact and as you slip it off and check for the engraving your heart drops, her grandparents initials aren’t on it, both your initials aren’t on it, it’s not her wedding ring.

Maybe she just misplaced it and is to scared to tell you. But it’s her granny’s ring, Leah loves that ring more than anything and she’s probably devastated that it’s gone.

Leah’s panicking she knows it’s not her ring and if she knows you definitely know. But she doesn’t expect you to come back so soft and understanding, “it’s ok we’ll find it where was the last place you had it.” HER house Leah thinks “eh-eh training I-I think I’m sorry darling I just I don’t know what to do.” That night ends like every night ends these days, and you think now is the perfect time to tell her in the darkness of your room but Leah just drops to the side and turns over whispering a goodnight as you stare at her.

You feel dirty every time this happens, you feel like a gross one night stand the way she turns away from you instead of pulling you closer like she used to but you put down to her being upset about her ring the same way you put it down to something else bothering her every time you end up in this situation.

Leah thinks she’s outsmarted you but as you lay there in bed reeling from the fact your wife hasn’t held you after sex in months, hasn’t told you how much she loves you as she brings you to climax and you can’t help but feel your heart grow heavy.

But as you lie there you can’t help but reply every possible reason why she’s like this, why she has been like this for a while now.

She does her daily runs, you guys go for your walks hand in hand as you talk the ear off her, but she’s never complained, Leah watches others pass you both by, this one girl runs past you both every weekend like clock work, you have noticed this a while ago and although you used to think it was a coincidence you’re starting to think otherwise.

She runs past you both every weekend always smiles at you, or at Leah more like, Leah’s hand gets lighter in your own every time, her grip isn’t as firm you think as you recall every walk in the park.

Leah doesn’t talk, she listens and watches, she watches her run around the park while you walk beside her.

Leah always gets a little weird after her runs, she’s more touchy, more soft, quieter, you thought it was just from the long runs. But now you second guess it.

Her ring is the first thing she’s misplaced tho you think to yourself, maybe that was at the training ground.

But you both tore it up the day after and found nothing and the Arsenal girls were none the wiser on it’s whereabouts. Leah goes for her run again that night and you feel this dread seep into your bones.

You feel sick to your stomach when the pieces all click in together, when you’re walking in the park Leah’s hand laced with yours, you try to stay normal talking about anything and everything but you stutter as SHE runs past and smiles at you, this time right at you not Leah, YOU.

Your eyes don’t stay on her face very long instead they are drawn to the gold circle resting on the chain around her neck, your eyes widen and you stop momentarily if Leah wasn’t holding your hand she wouldn’t have noticed it but she is and she did and she freezes too.

It’s on HER necklace, Leah’s wedding band is on that girls necklace and you feel nauseous as you try to continue your walk. Your wifes wedding ring is around that random girls neck, you know why but you don't want to-she's cheating, no she can't be she loves you, you're the love of her life, the one she wants everything with she's said so herself.

Leah’s cheating on you and it’s so plainly obvious now as you think back to it all, the first time you checked for her phone’s location and it said it was at a house across from the park, “oh it just give you a general location it’s not precise love.”

“I love you.” She whispers as she holds you from behind, “I know you do Le, and I’m so proud of you for beating your personal best but you don’t have to push yourself so hard, you’re perfect.”

“Yeah we could do dinner what time suits you guys.” You say happily excited to join Beth and Viv on a double date “6pm work.” Beth asks but before you can respond Leah shakes her head “sorry mate no can do, it’s my running time can we do after like 7:30 ?.” Beth looks at you then back at Leah “can’t you just skip it mate.” “No I have a schedule and I’m not changing it for you.”

You tap the table nervously “yeah we could do 8:45 am on Saturday, let me just say it to Leah.” “Leah.” You shout smiling as the older girl pokes her head around the door “they can fit us in at 8:45 on Saturday morning that works right.” Leah thinks for a moment torn, “I can’t baby it’s my running time remember.” You feel your heart drop “but it’s our check up to see if it’s taken Le surly you can just go after.” Leah shakes her head “do they have any other time.” You sigh “hi sorry ehm do you have anything else, 2pm Monday.” You look to Leah for confirmation she nods happily before disappearing back into the sitting room.

All the times she’s been consistent with her runs in that stupid park, her watch alerting you to the fact she has finished a workout shortly before 6:30 but she won’t be home till 7:10, her inability to hold you during sex anymore cause that’s all it is it’s just sex not making love like she used to say and it’s that silly circle hanging around that random girls neck that sets it all together. All the stupid pieces.

You don’t know what to do, don’t know how to bring it up this isn’t supposed to go like this, your life, your marriage but it is and you’re terrified of the aftermath so so terrified that you don’t realise how numb you’ve gone till you speak up.

Leah’s sat on the couch you’re tucked into her side “she’s gorgeous.” You say suddenly Leah hums in confusion “who’s gorgeous darlin.” You let out a shaky breath “the girl you’re sleeping with.” Leah goes tense immediately “I-i-wha-i Leah splutters trying to find the words “what girl.” You continue on your voice calm but still unsteady “the girl who wears your wedding ring around her neck”

Leah knows she’s lost now but it doesn’t help that her phone starts to ping with an in coming message “I-Y/n-I.” You shake your head getting up “I’m going out, I-i don’t know why, I don’t want to know why anymore I’m just, I can’t believe that you did after everything.”

Leah doesn’t move as you walkout still her mouth opens and closes trying to fathom I lie to rope you back in but her mind blank and you’re no longer in the garden.

Leah doesn’t hear from you for a week after that no idea if you’re ok. She doesn’t hear from anyone and instead off running away to the park SHE comes over Leah swears it’s to comfort her through this hard time but there is very little talking involved.

Leah doesn’t hear from you or anyone to caught up in her new bubble and it finally bursts as her mum crashes through the door “ you absolute idiot, you fucking idiot how did I raise you to be such an asshole that you would go and cheat on your wife.” Amanda’s attention is now turned to HER as she lies on your side of the bed “You are a fucking asshole Leah Williamson, I have never been so disappointed in you in my entire life.”

Leah’s lost still how did her mother know she hadn’t told her yet, sure she was going to but she was scared Amanda adores you, you’re perfect.

“I’ll be lucky if she lets me see the baby you asshole”

Baby ? Leah thinks, what baby. Suddenly it all comes back and SHES shoved away “She’s pregnant, Y/ns pregnant it-it worked”

Amanda huffs “you didn’t even know-you didn’t fucking know.” Leah shook her head “no.”

SHE lets out a huff running her hands over Leah’s arms “it’s ok baby we can have our own now, just like you promised.” And now it’s Leah’s turn to feel nausea. She never wanted kids with anyone else but you, this isn’t right, what she’s done to you to your future isn’t right but you’re gone and there’s nothing she can do about.

Leah’s smart but right now she’s the biggest idiot going. She’s lost you, lost you forever ?

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yutarot · 7 hours ago

Text

ride or die. l.jn smau

018 — for her, i am.

(a/n: u might wanna grab some popcorn for this one.)

JENO POV

“i know who leaked my secret.”

he had said it so quickly that he forgot the words had even come from his mouth.

jaemin stares at him, eyes wide in a mix of shock and weirdly, sadness.

but then jeno realises why. he had let jaemin be bullied, staying silent as all of his friends attacked him. he had done nothing.

jaemin didn’t care that jeno knew who it was, he didn’t care who had ruined jeno’s life, because jeno had ruined his. he thought that jeno thought it was him, he had assumed that’s why jeno did nothing, out of hatred, out of anger. but now, now it made no sense. jeno was meant to be his bestfriend.

jeno became angry at the thought. not at jaemin, but at himself. and he hadn’t even explained to him the whole story yet, he hadn’t even told him who it was.

jaemin spoke first after their silence.

“you better start explaining.” jaemin says, and rightfully so. jeno feels as if he should had done the explaining a while ago, he wanted to. but it all happened too quick. he never got the chance.

he doesn’t know why, but he feels like jaemin and him aren’t going to be the same after this. not after what he’s about to tell him.

jaemin grows inpatient, angry even.

“come on, jeno, im not gonna sit here and wait for the fucking grass to grow!!”

jeno says nothing still, and this only makes jaemin’s anger worsen. but he just doesn’t know what to say, how to word the sentence that will ruin their friendship.

“WHO WAS IT JENO?” jaemins grabbing his shirt at this point, and there’s nothing he can do but close his eyes and take it. “WHO WAS IT YOU HAD TO PROTECT SO MUCH TO THE POINT WHERE YOU HAD TO LET ME GET PUSHED AROUND, HUH? WHO SPILLED YOUR FUCKING SECRET, WHO DID YOU FEEL WAS SO SPECIAL TO YOU THAT YOU COULDNT SAY ANYTHING TO ANYONE?!! WHO WAS IT, JENO?! WHO W-“

jeno’s heart races. his fists clench. his arms tense.

he snaps.

“IT WAS ME!”

jaemin stills.

he lets go of jeno’s shirt.

his eyes never divert from his, his last breath never leaving. they both stand in the apartment lobby, the cold air of outside, breezing through the window, half cracked open, the distant buzz of the vending machine whirring in the corner and the deep hue of the midnight sky absorbing the light from around them.

they’re silent, they’re still.

neither of them dare to speak.

until jeno notices jaemins face.

it’s not anger, it’s not sadness. it’s pity.

“it was me.” jeno’s voice is lower now. “i leaked my own identity.” he looks at the floor, in both solemnity and shame.

“why?” jaemin asks. “why would you do that to yourself?”

“i didn’t know it would spread so fast. i posted it on an anonymous account before my race. i wasn’t expecting it to be spread so quick, let alone on national news. i thought it would be slow, i was going to tell you, i was going to tell everyone. i had decided i didn’t want to be samo anymore. but the speed of it all… i wasn’t ready yet, i hadn’t prepared yet, i hadn’t told her.”

jaemin stills at the mention of you.

“so that’s why.”

jeno nods.

“you’re an idiot.” jaemin says, throwing jeno’s words back at him.

but jeno isn’t laughing.

“for her, i am.”

that’s where he realises the gravity of it all. that both of their deception had all come down to the route of one thing, of one person.

you.

jeno continues. “do you know what she told me when we first got into that fake relationship?”

jaemin shakes his head.

“she told me that she didn’t understand why i liked living as samo more than jeno. and usually, i did. i loved living as samo, it was the only time that i was able to really be myself. but when she came along, i realised something. i realised that i didn’t want to be samo anymore, i wanted to be the person that she knew. technically, she knew samo, yes. but it was me, as jeno, that she truly knew. and when she told me that i should just live as jeno, avoid all the public attention and just go outside without a mask, i realised that she was right, that that’s who i wanted to be. i wanted to be me, because of her. so when she told chenle who i was, i should have been mad, i should have been pissed. but, truly? i was relieved. she had done the first step of my journey herself, i could break off the deal. i could explain that i didn’t care about it anymore. i could explain that i wanted to date her for real. but i didn’t do any of that. i was still angry, i was angry at the reason why she had told chenle. he ruined it all. i couldn’t explain it to her, what i really wanted. because she liked him. and it only confirmed my suspicions when i found that stupid fuckers hoodi-“

jeno realised he had be talking for too long when jaemin began to smile.

“oh man i’ve been waiting for you to say that for the longest time, that you want to be yourself.” he pulls him into a brief hug as he speaks, as if he hadn’t even heard the second half of jeno’s rant.

after a second, jaemin pulls away before stating the obvious truth of what’s staring them both in the face, “if only it wasn’t because of her.”

reality dawns on him, pushing on him like an incoming storm. “im sorry jaemin, but ive made up my mind.”

jaemin nods, expecting jeno to say more. but he doesn’t, he just walks to the elevator, clicking the floor to their dorm. jeno hopes that jaemin forgets all about you, that he puts his feelings for you aside. but he knows jaemin too well, he knows no matter how much he tries, jaemin will never forget you.

“you getting in?” jeno says, a smile plastered on his face.

jaemin grins back before running to the elevator to join him.

jeno was going back home.

well, he will be once he fixes things with you.

jaemin lets out a sigh, seeming deep in thought. “you sacrificed everything for her.”

jeno looks at him, an understanding of what he means by this.

“jaemin-“

“i’ll take the fall for it.” he says, a smile on his face that doesn’t reach his eyes. “you don’t have to tell them it was you yet, if you’re not ready.”

jeno panics, “i can’t let you do that. not anymore.”

“please let me.” he fidgets, watching the numbers on the elevator screen climb up, and up, and up. “it’s the most i can do.”

jeno doesn’t know what to say, just like before. so he does the easiest thing. even though he knows he shouldn’t, he does what he knows he’s going to regret.

the elevator dings to a halt.

he lets him.

a sacrifice for a sacrifice.

previous : mlist : next

notes; it’s been so hard tryna keep this secret guys u have NO idea

taglist — open! @jenohyun @jirsungs @do-you-remember-summer-127 @ddolbyong @stqrgr7 @thatsatricky1 @sunghoonsgfreal @nattan127 @ssweetreveries @flamingi @chenlesfavorite @peterm4rker @snoopyjimin @akunoeyebrows @junviadinho @slayhaechan @f6llsun @multifandomania @cookiehaos @catecita @mrsjohnnysuh @luv4jeno @hyuckies18 @dreamiestay @tangerinelovelees @jjaegyeom @https-yeonjun @nanaxwi @yukisroom97 @nosungluv @mrkleelvr @neocrashed @jaedgemental @apolloxxivmin @kyubing @catdonut657 @dudekiss3r @juyeonshour @hamjwis @antifrggile @mmjhh1998 @thegracerammy @jenocity23 @honeynanamin @bluedbliss @lampcults @yyangj3lly

#nct #nct smau #nct fanfic #nct college au #nct dream #f1 jeno #jeno nct #jeno smau #jeno fluff #jeno x reader #nct jeno #jeno imagines #lee jeno #jeno #jeno x you #nct dream smau

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hyunjins-orange-slice-too · 2 days ago

Note

Emmy listen- I got a great idea but I need your beautiful mind for it. Feel free to just ignore me buut like what if for a daddy Chan idea where he accidentally yells at reader and they leave? Like a nice angst -> comfort. Ugh. I just know you’re so good with this series and I just love it and you but like you more lol. Annnywaaays I’m rambling have a good day lol

do you think beary will forgive me?

pairing: daddy!chan x princess!reader

genre: angst with a happy ending

word count: 2 ss and ~2.3k

warnings: very very brief mentions of dying (not real dying, it’s in reference to a tv show lol), yelling, lots of crying, pet names.

an: saturn, i hope this is what you were looking for. i hope i did it justice. it’s still crazy to me that one of my faves thought that i would be the best person to write their idea. anyway, this is absolutely devastating. so enjoy. lol i’m shy but i’ll try to reach out to you more, i’d like for us to be better friends. :)

masterlist

!! my requests are now closed until i’m caught up !! :)

the tv blared loudly as your newest drama obsession reached its peak, the main character sick in a hospital bed while the love of her life cries and begs her to pull through.

“if she dies, i’m going to freak out.” you say out loud. to no one in particular, as the apartment was empty. you glanced at your phone for the time. you got excited. daddy should be home any minute. your attention was pulled back to the screen as the main character wakes up from her coma. “oh thank god.” you say to yourself, clutching your blanket tightly, sinking further into the couch cushions.

you don’t hear the door lock beeping or the mechanical whirring of the mechanism as it unlocks and clicks open. a weary chan stumbles inside, kicking off his shoes. if you weren’t so entranced by your show, you would notice how tense he is. how his shoulders and neck look stiff with exhaustion, his brow furrowed with agitation.

he drags his feet through the house until he finds you in the living room. you see his frame in the doorway and jump up from the couch, running to him. “daddy!” you exclaim. you throw your arms around his neck, clinging to his body. he reluctantly wraps his arms around you, squeezing gently. it lasts only a second before he pulls away.

“do you have to have the tv that loud?” he scolds. your smile drops and you feel embarrassed. you felt stupid for having the volume up that loud. you race back to the couch, flinging the blanket to the side in search of the remote. after a moment, you find it and quickly shut the tv off, plunging the room into silence. you turn back around, but you’re alone again. there’s no longer a daddy in the room. you huff a disappointed sound and shuffle your slippered feet across the floor in search of him.

you ultimately find him in the bathroom, pulling his shirt off over his head. while his face is covered, you rush up behind him, wrapping your arms around his middle. you’ve done this so many times and he always loves it. always tells you how cute you are and how much he loves you. but… not today.

he discards his shirt on the floor before pulling your hands free of his waist and gently pushing you away. he makes eye contact with you in the mirror before saying “i need to take a shower.”

“oh.. okay.” you say. you force a smile to your face, determined to put him in a better mood. he must have had a very long day. he looks away before even noticing your smile, turning to switch the shower on. he kicks his shorts off and steps inside, without saying another word.

you were shocked. and also, kind of sad. he didn’t even seem excited to see you at all. you didn’t get any hugs, or any kisses, not even a head pat. you wondered if you did something wrong, wondered if you were just being dramatic or being too needy. maybe he finally got tired of you like you always feared. tears pricked your eyes. you forced them away, shaking your head.

no. you would not cry. you are a big girl.

unsure of what to do, and missing him terribly, you sat on the floor of the bathroom, waiting for him to be done. sometimes you would talk to him while he was showering, asking him about his day. but you felt like that wasn’t the best move right now. so you sat silently, patiently, playing with the loose strings on the bathmat. finally the water shut off and a muscular hand reached out in blind search of a towel. he found one and you could hear him drying himself, before he flung the curtain open to find you sitting on the floor. you smiled up at him, just excited to be near him, happy that he was finally home.

“what are you doing?” he asked, deadpan.

you didn’t like his tone. it was cold and very un daddy like.

“i was.. waiting for you to be done.” you said, your smile faltering a little.

he sighed. “i can’t even get a minute alone in the fucking shower?”

you felt like you had been slapped. “wh-what?”

he stepped out of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist, and walked right past you and into the bedroom.

the tears were back at your waterline, threatening to spill. you carefully stood up on shaky legs and walked to the bedroom. you peeked your head around the door frame and saw him pulling a pair of boxers on, hair dripping onto his bare shoulders.

you wanted to say something, but he said he wanted to be alone? you didn’t want to bother him. but he never talked like that. if he ever needed alone time, he would sweetly tell you that before setting you up a movie or activity to do while he spent some time with himself. you couldn’t remember a time when he had ever cursed at you. your mind again wondered if you had done something wrong. something to upset him. he noticed you standing silently in the doorway.

“damn it, y/n!” he yelled. “i said i want to be left alone. what the fuck don’t you understand!?” he stomped toward the door, toward you, his face scrunched up in anger. you had never seen that face on him before. he had never talked to you this way and it really scared you. he grabbed the door and slammed it shut in your face. you stumbled and fell backwards onto the floor, landing on your butt and scraping your palm in the process of trying to catch yourself.

you silently cried on the floor for a moment. your heart raced with fear, with hurt. your palm stung. you wiped your tears and shakily walked to the living room. you grabbed your phone and walked out the front door, not a destination in mind, cow slippers still on your feet.

you stared at the door handle to your apartment. you had been hiding in the cold emergency stairwell of your apartment building, unsure of where to go. you reached your hand out. you wanted to go inside. wanted to feel the safety of the four walls and locking door. you even wanted for chan to hold you. for him to tell you that everything was alright. that you were safe now. but how could he make you feel safe, when he was the one who scared you in the first place? your stomach was in knots. would he yell again? he promised he wouldn’t.. would he be mad at you? mad that you couldn’t give him space, mad that you left without telling him where you were going? your hand shook as you reached for the handle. you took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

chan was sat on the edge of the couch, his phone clutched in one fist, his other hand was at his mouth, nervously biting on his thumb nail. when he heard the door to the apartment open, he stood up abruptly, his phone clattering to the floor. he took a step in your direction. you noticed him, and the fear in your eyes broke his heart. the door clicked shut behind you quietly. you stood in the entryway, not making a move further into the apartment. he took another step toward you, fighting the urge to run to you and scoop you up in his arms. but you flinched, and took a step back. your eyes were wide with fear and hurt and he didn’t know what to do to make it better. for once in your relationship, daddy didn’t know how to fix it.

he sank to his knees in the middle of the living room, head hung low. you were confused at first. and then your confusion turned to worry, all your fears melting away. you slowly approached him, stopping a few feet away. his shoulders shook.

“daddy..?” you said, your voice soft.

he looked up at you, tears in his eyes, his face scrunched up in pain as he fought the urge to sob like a baby.

you had only ever seen him cry once, when he watched a particularly sad movie with you, but this was completely different. this was devastation in his eyes. you knelt in front of him. now face to face, you reached out and wiped his tears off his cheeks with the pads of your fingers.

“daddy don’t cry..”

his eyes locked on your palm, the scrape clearly visible as you collected his tears. he looked back to you, before gently reaching for your hand. he held it in his, palm up, examining the damage.

“baby what happened?” he asked, his voice thick with tears.

“i.. fell.” you say. “when you slammed the door.. i fell.”

his face contorted in pain again and his head fell forward. his tears splashed onto your palm and onto the floor.

“baby.. i’m so sorry.” he sobbed. he messily kissed your injured palm.

“it’s okay..” you comforted him.

he shook his head. “it’s not okay.” he looked up at you, gently squeezing your hand, careful of the scrape. “daddy is supposed to protect you. but i.. i caused this.” his eyes looked to the ceiling as he tried to stop his tears from flowing.

“did.. i do something?” you asked, your own tears coming to the surface again. “to make you mad?”

his free hand came to your cheek, stroking gently. “no, baby. of course not. you were just excited to see me and i yelled at you. what kind of daddy does that?”

“why did you yell then?” you asked.

“it’s been such a long day.. it seemed like everyone needed something from me.” he sniffled. “i just wanted to be alone. and away from everyone. and then when i got home and you were right there, i just.. i lost it.” he looked into your eyes, the glassy surface mirroring yours. “i am so so sorry. i can’t imagine how scared you must have been. i will never, ever, yell at you again. i promise.”

“i was really scared.” you confessed. “i’ve never seen you like that.”

“and you shouldn’t have. daddy should never yell at his princess.” just when he thought his tears were under control, his bottom lip started to quiver again. “you were just excited to see me..”

he felt terrible. awful at how he treated you. he felt undeserving of his title. the whole day was heavy on his shoulders, exhaustion taking over his body now that you were home and he knew you were safe.

“i thought maybe you got tired of me..” you said.

“what?” his heart squeezed, like the knife that had been plunged inside it already was now turning. “baby i could never get tired of you.”

you looked down at your injured hand, your own tears falling freely.

“i’m always so needy. always clinging to you.”

“and i love that. i really do. baby i promise that you did absolutely nothing wrong. this is all daddy’s fault.” he tilted your face up to look at him. “you are my perfect little baby, yeah?”

you sniffled, but did your best to nod your head in his hand.

“you. are. perfect.” he said again. enunciating each word, really wanting to make sure you understood.

“can.. can i hold you?” he asked. you nodded in response. “are you sure? tell me with words.”

“yes i’m sure. you can hold me.”

he sat down on his butt, his back leaning against the couch, and he pulled you into his lap. your face was in the crook of his neck and he wrapped his strong arms around you. he held you tight. he had a thought that maybe it was too tight. but when he tried to loosen his hold, you gripped onto him tighter, his t-shirt balled up in your little fists. you cried quietly into his shirt, relief flooding through you as you were finally where you belonged.

“baby i’m so sorry.” he said against your hair, placing a kiss on the top of your head. “i will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. i will never scare you ever again. it’s.. it’s eating away at me.” he rubbed his hand across your back.

“do you think you could ever forgive me?” he asked.

you pulled away slightly to look at him properly. “i forgive you, daddy.”

tears threatened to spill down his cheeks again, but he refused. “really?”

you nodded. “you didn’t mean to scare me. you didn’t mean to yell.” you said. “but please don’t ever do it again.”

he shook his head, squeezing you tight. “i won’t. i promise.”

you held your pinky out. he let out a watery chuckle before linking his pinky with yours. “i pinky promise, baby.”

your head fell back to his shoulder and he continued to stroke your back, gently rocking both your bodies back and forth. it was quiet for a moment before he asked, “do you think Beary will forgive me?”

“hmm..” you thought. “i don’t know. he’s very protective of me.”

“i know he is. im a little nervous to face him.”

you laughed and he laughed too, your hearts feeling lighter now that you had each other again. and as he continued to rock you, your eyes grew heavy, your body exhausted from the long evening. you would eventually pass out on his shoulder and he would carry you to bed, tucking the cover around you, and kissing your forehead.

he would mutter an ‘i love you.’ and one more ‘i’m sorry.’ before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

♡ pls reblog if you liked it! it truly helps a lot and makes me smile :) ♡

©hyunjins-orange-slice-too i do not give permission for this work or any of my work to be translated, copied, or reposted.

#emmy answers #🪐 x 🍊#daddy chan supremacy #daddy!skz #stray kids #bang chan #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #bang chan stray kids #bang chan x reader #bang chan angst #bang chan hurt/comfort #stray kids angst #stray kids hurt/comfort #bang chan x you #bang chan x y/n

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ourhees · 2 days ago

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OPERATION : DON’T FALL IN LOVE

𝒊𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗔𝗗 .. ❛ 𝗀𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗌𝗍 𝖾𝗇𝖾𝗆𝗒 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝗂𝗆𝗉𝗈𝗋𝗍𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝖼𝖺𝗌𝖾

𝑜𝑓 · 𝖲𝖧𝖮𝖶𝓉𝖨𝖬𝖤 ⦂ detective! pjs x detective f! reader── && e2l + slow burn slight angst ❔ 𝖶𝖨𝖲𝖯 & 𝖪𝖨𝖲𝖲𝖤𝖲

◟( ˃̶͈◡ ˂̶͈ )◞ ╱ 𝑠𝑎𝑣 𝑠𝑎𝑦𝑠 : the other night i could not stop thinking about detective jay. ty to mil for motivating me to do this😽

the case was an absolute disaster, and jay was already getting frustrated. the chief’s 17 year old daughter, lilia had been missing for over seven hours at this point. you and jay sat together, trying to collect as much information about that night as you can.

“are you even paying attention?” jay snaps, slamming his palm onto the desk in between you two.

you didn’t bother flinching. “of course i am, genius. you’re the one obsessing over dead ends while im actually trying to piece things together.”

jay groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. he had no idea why the chief would even pair the two of you together to work on this case. sure, you were a great detective, but there were other things you weren’t good at, and that was handling the attitude of detective park jongseong.

“obsessing ? i’m trying to find leads here. not scribble on post it notes.” he shot back, pointing to the noodled sticky note.

you rolled your eyes, handing him a piece of paper. “look at this genius. lilia’s last known location. she was downtown at 11:45pm on the surveillance cameras.” you pointed on the map, leaning closer than you should have, your shoulder’s brushed together.

jay froze for a moment, before shaking his head. “right.. so what were you thinking?”

“that someone was waiting for her around the corner, where the camera’s stop rolling.”

“she wouldn’t run off with someone … would she?” jay tried to argue.

“maybe she would, but maybe she disagreed. they stalked her, and kidnapped her at the right moment. a moment where she’s vulnerable and her guard is down. like walking downtown past her curfew.”

you reviewed the printed out conversations you got from lilia’s phone, which was found at the scene in the chipped sidewalk. her chats with an older man suggested he wanted to meet while she was out at a party downtown with some friends, lilia still being a minor disagreed. the mysterious man continued to push her to meet with him, since he was in the neighborhood.

lilia disagreed once more. around 11:45pm, that was the last time lilia was caught on the cameras. maybe, just maybe if you examined the area one last time, and asked around, maybe you’d find a piece of evidence.

“so that’s what you think happened? she was out with her friends and this guy snatched her in an area that didn’t have cameras?” jay asked, one last time.

you nodded, referring back to the paper pieces of evidence. “fine” jay muttered. “let’s go back downtown and ask around.”

later that night, you and jay found yourselves downtown, the same area lilia was last seen. you asked the meat market owner, who claims he didn’t see much. you asked the ladies who owned the hair salon, they knew lilia since she was a baby. she hadn’t seen much, just the car that drove off.

the hair salon owner was able to give you a full description of the car that drove off. it was a black acura, silver details. you also managed to get the license plate number, that was all you needed.

you and jay headed back to the station, where you put the license plate number into your computer. jay sat closely to you, as he examined the suspect. it was a 35 year old man. this man had been arrested for robbing the jewelry store downtown, so downtown wasn’t an unfamiliar place for him.

“this bastard..” jay muttered, leaning in slightly closer. “can you locate the car? we need to locate the car.”

“slow your roll, speedy. i can locate the car.” you laughed, switching to a different screen.

you were able to locate the car, finding it sitting outside of an abandon warehouse. you and jay got into your car, loading your guns into the holster. you drove off to the abandon warehouse. it was quiet, awfully quiet. you and jay held your guns up, jay shouted “hello? anyone here.”

and that’s when you heard a scream. you and jay both ran into the direction the screen originated from. you kicked the door open, a sight horrifying to see. the young girl, the chiefs daughter, held at knife point. the older man gripping onto her with her life.

“drop the knife now!” you yell out, your gun steady in one hand.

suddenly the older man dropped the knife, his hands up to surrender. “jay, cuff him now.” jay does as he’s told, grabbing a pair of handcuffs from his back pocket and placing them on the old man. the victim runs close to you, hugging you tightly as you just saved her life.

“shh it’s okay..” you tried to calm down her cries, you rubbed her back gently. “it’s okay.. we’re here now, and we’re gonna return you to your dad. we just need you to answer a few questions and tell us the story. is that okay?”

lilia agreed, pulling back from the hug. jay managed to get the police over as soon as possible, they took away the old man in cuffs. jay pulled out his miniature note pad and began writing away every detail lilia dropped.

you were right, the older man reached out to lilia, trying to meet up. lilia continued to get messages throughout the night and she was afraid. so afraid, she decided to leave her crowd of friends and go back home. as she turned by the corner, she was grabbed and tossed into the car. if she wasn’t rescued in time, who knows what would’ve happened.

jay gasped, as he heard every inch of detail, being accurate to your prediction. after gathering lilia’s side of the story, you decided to take her back to her father at the office. the car ride back to the office was silent, nor you or jay spoke, all you heard was the silent sniffles of lilia.

as you returned back to the office, you got lilia back to her dad. the chief was extremely happy to see his daughter, still alive and very much untouched. you left them alone in the office, you and jay went back over to your desks.

“that was great.. you were great.” jay admitted, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

“did the detective park jongseong just compliment me?” you teased, placing the evidence into a folder.

“don’t get used to it.” jay smirked.

you stepped closer, your heart racing due to the events of tonight. “you’re insufferable, you know that right?”

“and yet.. you can’t seem to stay away.” jay shot back, his grin fading slightly as your proximity began to feel charged.

before either of you could second—guess it, you grabbed him by the collar of his white shirt, pulling him down to your level and crashing your lips onto his. the kiss was fiery, a combination of tension and frustration, that had been built up from earlier.

jay froze for a second before his hands found your waist, pulling you closer to him. his strong hands held into your waist, holding you with a grip. when you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless.

“that was…” he started to speak, his voice hoarse.

“shut up.” you interrupted, stepping back as reality sets back in. “that didn’t mean anything.”

jay laughed, running a hand through his hair. “sure, it didn’t. how about we go out for coffee one day?”

“sure.. genius.” you smile, wiping the smudge of red lipstick from the side of jay’s lips.

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brooklynnbbg · 2 days ago

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hiii could i request virgin!luigi x virgin!reader?? i havent stopped thinking about that one anon that said if he cums first he’d be a crying overstimulated mess still fucking into you until you cum too ughhh😭😭

♡ WARNINGS - Smut! unprotected p in v, overstimulation

♡ A/N - This might be my favorite fic I've written. I'm sorry it goes on so long!! He's so sweet guys I'm melting. Huge shoutout to the anon who submitted the virgin! Lu thought in the first place!! <3

The room was dimly lit, soft shadows cast by the bedside lamp as you and Luigi lay together, a nervous energy buzzing between you. His fingers were trembling slightly as they brushed over your cheek, his brown eyes gazing into yours with a mix of awe and uncertainty.

“You’re sure?” he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “We can wait if you’re not ready.”

You smiled, leaning into his touch. “I’m sure, lu. I want this… I want you. I've never been sure about anything in my life before, but I'm sure about this”

His breath hitched at your words, and he nodded slowly, his lips parting to let out a shaky exhale. “I—I’ve never done this before,” he admitted, his cheeks flushing a deep red. “I don’t want to mess it up.”

“Me neither,” you confessed, your heart racing. “But we’ll figure it out together.”

Luigi leaned down, capturing your lips in a tender kiss. It was unhurried and gentle, his hands exploring your body with hesitant reverence. Every touch was careful, like he was afraid he might hurt you, but it only made you feel more cherished.

Slowly, he worked to remove your clothes, savoring each moment admiring your body. When you were completely naked, Luigi pulled back slightly, his eyes drinking you in. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “I don’t even have the words, amore mio.”

Your cheeks heated, and you reached out to run your fingers through his soft curls. “You’re beautiful too, Lu” you whispered, watching as his blush deepened.

He settled between your legs, his hands smoothing over your thighs as he positioned himself. His movements were awkward, but there was something endearing about the way he kept glancing at you for reassurance.

“Tell me if it hurts, okay?” he said, his voice trembling. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I will,” you promised, your hands resting on his shoulders. “Just go slow.”

Luigi nodded, taking a deep breath before he pushed forward slightly. The stretch was new, a little uncomfortable, but the way he was looking at you—with so much love and care—made it easier to bear.

“Oh my God,” he breathed, his head falling forward as he slid deeper into your wet folds. “You’re so—so tight. You feel incredible.”

His words sent a shiver down your spine, and you tightened your grip on his shoulders, encouraging him to keep going. He moved slowly, his breaths coming in short, uneven gasps as he finally sank all the way in.

Luigi froze, his forehead pressing against yours as he let out a shaky moan. “F-fuck, you feel like heaven,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I—I didn’t know it would feel like this.”

You were both still for a moment, adjusting to the sensation. His hands trembled where they rested on your hips, and you could see the effort it took for him to stay still.

“You can move,” you said softly, brushing your fingers through his hair. “It’s okay.”

He nodded, pulling out slightly before pushing back in. His movements were hesitant at first, but as he found a rhythm, the sounds falling from his lips became more desperate. He was moaning freely, each thrust accompanied by breathy whimpers and whispered praises.

“You’re perfect,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re so perfect. I can’t believe you’re mine.”

Your own breaths were coming faster, the pleasure building steadily as his hips rocked against yours. But Luigi was clearly struggling, his brow furrowed and his jaw clenched as he tried to hold back.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out, his voice cracking. “I’m gonna cum, fuck, you just feel too good.”

“It’s okay Lu,” you said, your hands cupping his face. “I love you.”

His eyes filled with tears at your words, and he let out a broken sob as he thrust into you again. “I love you too,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “So much.”

Luigi's thrusts stuttered, his body trembling as he buried himself inside you. The warm, wet sensation of his release spread between you, and he let out a strangled moan, collapsing forward as tears spilled down his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,” he whimpered, his forehead pressed against yours. His breath was shaky, his lips brushing yours as he spoke. “I-i didn’t mean to—I just… you feel so good, I couldn’t hold it. I’m sorry.”

His apologies came in a torrent, his voice breaking with every word as he blinked back tears. But even as he spoke, he didn’t stop moving. His hips rocked forward in slow, shallow thrusts, his overstimulated body shivering with each motion.

“It’s okay, lu,” you whispered, cupping his face to wipe away his tears with your thumbs. “You don’t have to apologize. I love you.”

“I love you too,” he choked out, his voice filled with desperation. “I just—I need to make you feel good. Please let me… let me take care of you.”

He was trembling, every thrust drawing a broken whimper from his lips. His body was clearly overwhelmed, his muscles tensing with each movement, but he refused to stop. His hands gripped your hips tightly, grounding himself in the sensation of your soft skin beneath his fingers as he pushed through the overstimulation.

“God, you’re so perfect,” he murmured, his voice a mix of reverence and raw emotion. “You feel like heaven. I—I don’t deserve you.”

“You- you do,” you assured him, your own voice thick with emotion. It felt good, so good. You could barely get your own words out. Tears pricked at your eyes as you felt the sincerity in his words, the way he was pouring every ounce of himself into making sure you felt as cherished as he did.

Luigi’s movements grew more desperate, his breaths coming in sharp, uneven gasps as his body strained to keep going. His lips trembled, soft cries escaping with every thrust. “It’s so much,” he admitted, his voice cracking. “I want to make you feel good. I need to make you feel good.”

You could see the tears streaming down his face, the way his lashes clumped together as he blinked rapidly, trying to see you through his haze of pleasure and emotion. His moans turned into soft, breathless sobs, his hands gripping your hips tightly enough to leave faint marks as he tried to maintain his rhythm.

“I love you,” he repeated, his voice breaking with each word. “I love you so much. You mean everything to me.”

His forehead stayed pressed against yours, his tears mingling with your own as you both cried from the overwhelming intensity of the moment. His hips bucked slightly, the overstimulation evident in the way his body shuddered, but he refused to stop.

“I—I’m sorry,” he whimpered again, his lips brushing yours. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to ruin this for you.”

“Didn't ruin anything” you said softly through your moans, your fingers threading through his hair to hold him close. “You’re p-perfect, Luigi.”

Your reassurance seemed to fuel him, and he let out a shaky moan, his pace quickening slightly despite the way his body quaked. Every thrust sent a jolt through him, his breaths hitching as he fought through the intense sensation.

“I can’t stop,” he confessed, his voice trembling. “It’s too much, but I can’t stop. I need to make you feel good. Please—please tell me I’m doing okay.”

“It f-feels so good,” you assured him, your own tears slipping down your cheeks. “Im close”

His lips found yours in a messy, desperate kiss, his moans muffled against your mouth as he continued moving. The raw vulnerability in his expression, the way his body shook with every motion, made your heart swell. He was giving everything he had to you, and it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever experienced.

When you finally reached your peak, your body trembling beneath him, luigi let out a soft, broken sob. He clung to you, his face buried in your neck as his own body shook with the effort of holding himself together.

“I love you,” he whispered again, his voice hoarse but filled with unwavering devotion. “I love you so much.”

Tags: @nicholaschavezslut69, @ddlydevotion, @italianbabydaddy, @rckerbell, @slavicdolls4mangione, @perfumeaddicted @yeeterang @days12 @v1rtualsalvat10n @bricapellan16 @sleeepytimebear @preiyers @hdh-57jcidm-blog, @mypastdoesntdefineme0

#luigi mangione #luigi mangione x reader #luigi mangione smut #luigi mangione x reader smut #luigi x reader #luigi x reader smut

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linos-luna · 2 days ago

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Disturbing Fetishes ❣️🔪

Yandere?!Perv!Felix x Reader

Warnings: odd fetishes, manipulation, implied dubcon, implied druging, Yandere?, mention of rape, light smut

_____________

Something about the way he looked at you made you slightly… unnerved. But you brushed it off. Felix was so adorable and seemingly so innocent. I mean, that’s how all his friends described him. Just a sweet cuddle bug! And while yes, he is very much loving, there’s something off about him.

Something that was interesting was when you got hurt. He would eyeball that bruise, scrape, or cut a little too much… he would even touch them if he could. When he did, he’d lightly push on it. He liked the small whine that would leave your lips. But he never took it too far and would stop almost right away when you asked.

So maybe it wasn’t too bad. Maybe you’re just overthinking it. He’s a little weird but so is everyone right?

You slept peacefully on your side, the night quiet and comfortably cool. The blankets rested just below your shoulder, and the loose collar of your shirt revealed your neck and collarbone. As you slept, your boyfriend’s gaze lingered on your neck. He must have woken up by chance and found himself drawn to the scar there, an old one from childhood, long healed but leaving behind a faint, textured mark.

He’d asked before if he could touch it, but you had declined. Your neck was a sensitive spot, and you weren’t ready for that kind of touch yet. Though it bothered him, he tried not to let it show.

But right now felt like the perfect opportunity. Felix reached out, his hand hovering for a moment before finally making contact with the scar. He let out a soft sigh, one that carried both relief and… pleasure? His fingers moved slowly, tracing the textured mark, his breathing growing heavier, his heart racing in his chest.

At first, you didn’t feel anything, lost in the depths of your sleep. Then came a faint warm sensation that felt like a kiss on your neck, yet it was… different. More intense. Unknown to you, after pressing his lips to your scar, Felix began trailing small licks across it, each motion accompanied by quiet, needy moans.

It didn’t take long for the strange sensation to wake you up, leaving you startled and disoriented.

Your eyes fluttered open, disoriented and unsure of what had woken you. The room was dim, but the warmth and the strange sensation on your neck made you stiffen. You turned your head slightly, trying to figure out what was happening, and then you froze.

“Felix?” Your voice was groggy, but full of confusion.

He didn’t stop immediately, his lips still pressed to your scar, his tongue tracing it slowly. When he finally realized you were awake, he pulled back just enough to meet your eyes. His face was flushed, his breathing uneven, and his expression unguarded.

“I-I’m sorry,” he murmured, though his tone lacked conviction. His hand stayed on your shoulder, his thumb grazing the edge of the scar. “I-I couldn’t help myself! It’s… it’s just… I’ve… I’ve been so curious about it, and I-I just wanted to know what it… I just wanted to know…”

“Felix?!” You sat up, pushed him away, and stared at him, unsure whether to be angry, confused, or something else entirely. “I told not to touch there!”

“I know,” he admitted, his gaze dropping. “I-I just…. I just… there’s something about it. About you.” He looked up again, his eyes filled with a strange intensity. “I’m sorry! I-I won’t— mm… I won’t…” he stumbled over his words.

His apology seemed genuine, but his lingering gaze on your neck told you there was more he wasn’t saying. Your heart raced as you tried to process the moment, caught between irritation and the strange vulnerability he was showing you.

“You wanted to know what?” you asked, your tone sharp as you wiped away the saliva from your neck. The sensation left you feeling uneasy, and his silence only made it worse. Felix kept his head down, avoiding your gaze, but you noticed where his eyes had shifted: to his lap.

Your eyes followed, and the sight made you freeze. His pants. He was… excited.

“Felix…” you mumbled, staring in disbelief. “You’re… aroused?”

His cheeks flushed a deep red as he turned his head away, biting his lip. It was painfully obvious how embarrassed he was, but the tension in the air was impossible to ignore.

“What turned you on?” you asked, your brow raised in confusion and disbelief. “My scar? Or… getting caught?”

He hesitated, his voice barely audible when he finally answered, “B-both…”

You stared at him, struggling to process what you had just heard. Your chest felt tight, feeling a mix of emotions… discomfort, confusion, and disgust.

“Both?” you repeated, your voice laced with disbelief. “Felix, do you even realize how weird this is?”

He flinched at your words, his hands gripping the blanket nervously. “I know,” he admitted, his voice soft and shaky. “I know it’s weird. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I just… I couldn’t stop thinking about it. About how soft it looks… how sensitive it must be. And then, when I touched it, I—”

“Felix!” you cut him off, your cheeks burning. “Stop. Just stop!”

He looked up at you, his eyes pleading. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I messed up. I just—”

“You messed up big time!” you said firmly, though your voice trembled slightly. “I told you not to do that. And now… this?” You gestured vaguely toward his lap, feeling a mixture of disgust and embarrassment.

“I-I know! I’m sorry!” He stuttered.

You sighed as you tried to calm down. “I don’t even know what to say right now.”

Silence fell between you, thick and uncomfortable. Finally, you spoke again, your voice quieter. “I need some space. We’ll talk about this later, but right now, I just… I need to think…”

As you got up, your boyfriend was silent while looking at his lap.

“Cmon, go home.” You said while motioning towards the door.

Your boyfriend was gripping the sheets tight as he looked down. He was silent but had an air of… frustration?

“I don’t understand why you won’t let me touch there…” he muttered under his breath. “You let me touch everywhere else…”

As you froze Felix’s words hung in the air like a threat. Slowly, you turned to face him, anger simmering beneath your confusion.

“Felix,” you said, your voice sharp, “this isn’t about everywhere else. It’s about something I told you I’m not comfortable with. And now, after what you just did, you’re seriously questioning why?”

He shot up from the bed, his movements jerky, his eyes flashing with frustration. “Of course I’m questioning it!” he snapped. “How am I supposed to feel when my own girlfriend acts like I’m not allowed to touch her? You say you trust me, but then you put up these stupid walls like I’m some kind of stranger!”

“Felix, calm down,” you said, your voice wavering as his sudden outburst caught you off guard. “I didn’t say that I dont trust you. It’s about boundaries.”

“Boundaries?” he scoffed, his tone mocking as he took a step closer. “That’s such a cop-out. You let me touch you everywhere else, but suddenly your neck is off-limits? Do you even hear how ridiculous that sounds?”

Your chest tightened, a mix of anger and unease swelling inside you. “It’s my body,” you snapped, your voice firmer now. “And I get to decide what I’m comfortable with. You don’t get to guilt me into changing that.”

“Guilt you?” he barked, his laugh cold and sharp. “I’m not guilting you… I’m just pointing out how unfair you’re being! Do you know how it feels to be shut out by someone who’s supposed to love you? I’ve done everything for you, and this is how you treat me?”

Your breath hitched, his words slicing through you. “Felix, this isn’t about what you’ve ‘done’ for me…”

“Oh, don’t give me that,” he snarled, pacing now. “I’ve been patient. I’ve been understanding. I’ve waited for you to open up to me, and for what? To be treated like I’m some kind of pervert for wanting to be close to you?”

“Felix, stop!” you yelled, your voice breaking with frustration and unease. “Y-you’re not listening to me!”

“No, you’re the one who’s not listening!” he shouted, his voice shaking with barely restrained anger. “Do you even care how this makes me feel? Or are your stupid boundaries more important than our relationship?”

His words hit you like a slap, leaving you momentarily stunned. “You’re twisting this,” you said quietly, your voice trembling. “You’re… you’re scaring me…”

Felix froze when he saw the timid look on your face, his anger melting into guilt almost instantly. “Baby… babydoll, I’m sorry,” he said, his tone softening, though there was a strange edge to it.

Tears began to well in your eyes, slipping down your cheeks as you stood there, unsure how to feel. He stepped closer, his voice more pleading now. “Sorry, sorry!” he murmured, pulling you into a tight embrace.

You leaned into him, seeking comfort, but your mind was too clouded with emotion to notice how his hands moved. One slid up to your neck, his fingers brushing the rough texture of the scar with a deliberate slowness. He made a low hum, the sound vibrating against you.

You thought he was trying to calm you, but there was something off about the way his fingers lingered on your scar, pressing and tracing it. His breathing grew heavier, and his hum turned into more of a groan but he was good at hiding it.

“I’ll go now, okay?” Felix said softly, his voice gentle as he stood by the door. Then, with a sudden shift in tone, he added cheerfully, “I’ll bring you breakfast in the morning!” His mood seemed to have done a complete 180, leaving you blinking in confusion.

Still, you nodded, relieved he was agreeing to leave, at least for a little while. “O-okay…” you murmured, grateful for the chance to gather your thoughts.

“Can I get you some water or something before I go?” he asked, his tone oddly considerate.

“S-sure… thank you,” you replied hesitantly, still trying to process his sudden change in demeanor.

Felix left the room briefly and returned with a glass of water, handing it to you with a smile as he slipped on his coat and shoes. “I’m sure your throat’s a bit dry. Make sure you drink all of it,” he said in a low, velvety voice, his smile lingering as he watched you.

You didn’t think much of it. Your throat was dry, and you were thirsty. You drank the water quickly, nodding in appreciation. “Thanks,” you said softly.

“I’ll be going now. I’ll see you later, okay?” Felix said, his eyes watching you as you climbed back into bed. “Goodnight, my little doll,” he added, his voice carrying an unsettling tenderness.

You heard the front door close moments later, and with that, the tension in the room seemed to ease. You lay back in bed, feeling calmer but also slightly… off. Maybe it was exhaustion, you reasoned. But as your eyes began to close, you couldn’t shake the faint thought that the water had tasted a little strange.

Before you could dwell on it further, sleep overtook you. A heavy and almost unnaturally fast sleep.

And as soon as you were out, Felix slipped back inside, closing the door quietly behind him.

“Don’t worry, my darling…” he said softly, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. “I’ll always take care of you….”

———

A few days later, you found yourself on a casual date with Felix. Whatever tension lingered from that night had faded from your memory, or perhaps you had just chosen to push it aside. Felix had been nothing but sweet since, giving you no reason to suspect anything was wrong.

After a night out, sipping wine, sharing laughs, and enjoying each other’s company, the two of you returned to your place for movies and cuddles. You were a bit tipsy, buzzed enough to feel warm and giggly, but still very much aware.

As you got into the bedroom, you let out a contented sigh and flopped onto the bed, stretching out to relax after the crisp chill of the evening air. Felix kicked off his shoes and followed, pausing in the doorway as he watched you sprawled across the bed. Something about the way you looked, so carefree and at ease, sent a spark of excitement through him.

“You coming over now?” you asked playfully, your voice light and sweet, a little moan escaping as you stretched again.

Felix nodded, a smirk tugging at his lips as he approached. “You’re looking cute,” he said, his tone teasing yet low. “Such a cute little doll.”

Your cheeks flushed as you glanced up at him, his words making your heart flutter.

But as Felix stood over you, his gaze lingered. His eyes roamed your form, taking in every detail, the way your shirt hugged your body, the soft flush in your cheeks, and, of course, the scar on your neck. It was uncovered, prominent against your skin, almost calling to him.

He froze for a moment, staring at it. The urge to reach out was strong, the memory of its texture still vivid in his mind. But he held himself back, his hands clenched at his sides, his expression unreadable as he fought his instincts.

You noticed his pause and tilted your head slightly. “Everything okay?” you asked softly, your voice pulling him out of his thoughts.

Felix blinked, his smirk returning quickly as he sat down beside you. “Yeah, everything’s perfect,” he said, though his gaze briefly flicked back to your neck. “Absolutely perfect.”

———

“What movie should we watch?” You asked with a giggle.

“Not sure… thinking about… skipping that part…” he chuckled.

You sat up and made a playful pout. “Aw.”

Felix grabbed your wrist and looked at you with a smirk. “Imagine… what I could do with you…” he mumbled in that deep voice of his.

“What do you mean?” You chuckled while standing, his hand still tightly gripping your wrist.

“I mean… you’re so helpless…” he said lowly, pulling you back down to sit. You resisted, feeling a bit uneasy but laughing it off.

“Baby…” he said while standing, trying to grab your other wrist. “What’s wrong? Scared?” He chuckled.

“Um…” you looked at him with a tilt of your head. Your mind was still fuzzy from the alcohol but there was still some awareness. Instinctually, you pulled back a little but that only seemed to agitate him more.

“Getting away now?” He growled.

“L-lixie…?”

“It’s okay, baby. I like when you struggle. It… excites me.” He chuckled darkly before trying to kiss your lips. In a panic, you shook your head and he instantly pushed you onto the bed.

“Felix! Stop!” You cried out, clarity setting in.

“Babydoll, it’s okay!” He chuckled while crawling over you. “It’s all a game…”

“What game?!”

“I like a little struggle.” He said while roughly grabbing your chin. “Just play along, babydoll~”

You could only look at him in fear as the weight of his body holding you down. The fear in your face and control over you has him aroused and desperate.

“L-lixie…” you whimpered softly.

“I wouldn’t actually rape you, babydoll.” He said while holding your chin. “It’s just a game.” He chuckled, sounding more unhinged by the second. “Oh I just wanna hear you again~”

You trembled as you watched this innocent cuddle bug turn into some maniac.

“The other night… oh the night when you made those noises…” he breathed deeply as if trying to control himself. You could feel his clothed hard on brushing on your thigh. It frightened you just how aroused he was.

“Oh babydoll please…”

“Please what…?”

“For me… can you do it?” He muttered.

“Do what…?”

“Play along…” he replied, sounding more desperate. “Please!”

“W-what?!”

“Scream. Struggle. Act like it… act like well… you know… please.” Your boyfriend pleaded.

“Y-you’re sick!” You stuttered while watching him. “Th-that’s not healthy, Felix!”

“Yes but—!” He desperately grabbed you, pulling your hair a bit which made you cry out a bit.

“Like that! Do more!”

“Felix!” You yelled while looking at him in disgust

Your boyfriend paused, letting go and sitting up. He looked at you with a moment of clarity, realizing how serious this got.

“Lixie… th-this is sick… y-you’re sick…” you stuttered while sitting up.

“I-i… I know…” he turned red and stood up, backing away slowly.

You were actually quite surprised at his admission and looked at him while wiping your tears. “Felix…”

“I don’t know why I’m like this.” He said with a sigh.

“Well…”

“Don’t leave me!” He blurted out suddenly. “I love you so much!”

It was odd just how clingy he was being and you haven’t even been dating for that long.

“Felix—.”

“Don’t!” He pleaded while grabbing your wrists. “I-I can’t live without you!”

He wouldn’t let go and you stood still, afraid of his next move, unsure what he’d do next.

I… I won’t…” you murmured.

He smiled and sighed in relief as he held you, holding back his conflicting desires. It made you uneasy, and made you wonder how long he’s had these weird fantasies. You wondered if this relationship could even last. What if he loses control again?

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