#where my ft peeps at?

[xfulmen]

thinking about reviving this blog, and maybe my erza one as well

[keen-li]

MR RIGHT YOU CAME AT THE WRONG TIME | jjk

18+ MDNI

synopsis: after accidentally switching bags, you end up finding your ways to each other and returning them to each other. But little did you realize that wasn't the last you'd be seeing of him.

song: find me by sigma ft birdy

Jungkook x reader

wc: 12.4k [damn i never thought id write this much before]

genre: strangers to lovers, fluff, smut, angst. (I would say it's kinda a forbidden love, but I don't know you tell me)

warnings: (I don't like writing warnings cause it kind of gives some stuff away, but I feel it's kind of necessary here), so we have cheating, letting a stranger into your home, unfaithfulness, lying, double lives. smut. [I'm kinda lazy at adding warnings but these are the general ideas]

note: if you can't swallow or read the idea of cheating and lying please DON'T READ. Sorry for any typos.

_-_

You tap aggressively on your laptop keyboard; you're trying to get this report done and today seems like the perfect time. You're sat in a café, the sun is setting (making the perfect aesthetic), it's showering a bit outside and you have your favorite sandwich and latte by your side to warm you up. What more can you need.

After an hour you decide you've written enough and you need to get going, plus the cafe's closing soon. So you shut off your laptop and place it into your tote bag. Before you leave you decide to use the bathroom. You leave your tote bag on your seat and carry your little handbag to the bathroom with you.

"Can you watch this for me?" You ask the person who was sat on the other seat of your table, and after they agree you leave to the bathroom.

While you're in the bathroom a man stops to speak to the person who was sat at your table.

"Can you watch this for me?" The young man asks and they nod in agreement.

He places his tote bag right next to yours, in too much of a hurry to pay attention to the other tote bag that was sat there that's exactly the same and rushes to the bathroom.

"Yeah I know, i wish you could be here too" you speak rushed through the phone. "no I won't be alone mark's gonna be with me"

The person on the other side continues to nag.

And in a hurry hoping you won't miss the train. So, you grab your tote bag without paying attention. You nod in appreciation to the person who doesn't even have their attention on you.

You quickly rush to the train station and get on a train back home.

Back at the café the young man grabs his bag and heads out too after giving his appreciation.

"I bet they weren't even watching it" He mumbles to himself.

And he's surely right.

-

"What the fuck, where's my lapto-" you exclaim as you dump out the contents of the bag. You run your hands through the emptied-out contents and pick up an ID card.

"Wait? This isn't even my bag" you come to the realisation. You should've realised that when you weren't met with the sweet flowery smell of your bag when you opened it. But now that you're staring at this ID you realise it's really not your bag. You thought someone stole your laptop but they stole your whole bag.

"Jeon Jungkook? The fuck" you exclaim as you eye his ID. You eye the little picture showing his face, damn.

You chuckle at how handsome he is. You scan through more of his documents and find a permit for a motorcycle, you lift your brows.

"Motorcyclist. Cool" you hum.

You snap out of the thrill of going through jeon Jungkook’s stuff when you realise you don't know how to get back your own stuff back.

You search for any phone number but you find none. You're growing a little frustrated now. He has no information in his bag that can help you locate him. You run your hands over your face and you sigh not knowing what to do. You wanna cry so bad, your laptop is in your bag. Shit, you wanted to complete your report when you got home, you've got to get it done tonight.

What the hell are you gonna d-

Your head snaps up when you hear a knock at your door. You drag your feet to the door and peep through your hole, you can't tell who it is cause they have a helmet on. You didn't order anything so you open the door, curious.

He turns to face you and speaks.

"Y/n?" The man asks, his voice muffled by his helmet.

You stare at him with a confused face.

"Did I order something?"

He mumbles an apology as he takes off his helmet. He brushes his hair back into a more presentable position and you take in his facial features. Time slows down like in the movies as he arranges his hair, he's helping you debunk the theory that all Motorcyclists are unattractive.

You know his face, you've seen him before, somewhere.

"People always think I'm in delivery when I have my helmet on" he chuckles.

"Jungkook?" Your brain clicks where you've seen him from.

He smiles "looks like someone found my ID"  he tucks his helmet under his arm.

"I had to. I assume you went through mine if you found where I live"

"You got me there" He raises his hands in surrender. You laugh as you move out of the door way.

"Wanna come in and do a formal exchange?"

"Yeah sure"

Jungkook walks in and can't help his eyes from wondering. Your apartment is nothing too exciting, it's boring he thinks.  But it's not like his is any better, if you stare closer into his apartment you'd find some unpacked boxes that he hasn't bothered to unbox and just stares at since he moved in.

But your apartment smells great.

You walk into your kitchen and internally slap yourself.

"Wow, looks like you did more than find my ID" he exclaims as he puts his helmet and your bag on the table.

"I'm so sorry, got a little frustrated" you rush around to pack his things that you left all over your counter back into his bag.

"I can't blame you, had a little fun with your stuff too. I even tried your cherry lip balm. Might get it for myself too" he puckers his lips and you eye him hoping he's joking. You take it as the time to admire his lips and you catch yourself before you're staring for too long.

"Did you really?" You ask sternly.

"If I did would you be mad?" He raises his brow maintaining his comedic and warm personality.

"Well yeah, I barely barely know you" you emphasise. Which is weird that you let him into your house even though you barely know him.

He nods knowing that it would be weird to try a stranger’s lip products.

"Well, I'll have you know that I had my own cherry lip balm"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah why do you think my lips look so good" he sends you a kiss which you dodge and you both laugh at.

"Never thought I'd find a guy who wears lip balm" you walk to your fridge.

"Yeah guys need to start moisturising their lips, makes it easier during kissing"

You ignore he's comment and jungkook thinks he might have over stepped it, which you wouldn't agree to but you wouldn't disagree.

"Do you want something to drink?" You ask staring at` him from your fridge.

"Yeah sure"

You walk over and hand him a beer.

"I almost forgot, I got you this" you knit your eyebrows confused about what he might have forgotten to give you, you don't even know eachother.

You watch him reach into your bag and you stare at him questionably.

You closely monitor as his hand pulls out a little box which you recognise is from a bakery. Your confusion grows even stronger.

He pushes the box to you and you reluctantly take it and open it. It's a little cake slice.

"Why-"

"I saw on your ID that it was your birthday so I thought I'd get you that"

You blush at his kind gesture. You didn't get to celebrate your birthday, you don't care though  but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Your sister is in another country while your boyfriend is... you don't even know where he is actually. You were supposed to spend the day together but he bailed and so you decided to spend your night alone and do your report at  the café and finish it at home. But you couldn't cause of this inconvenience. You wouldn't call jungkook an inconvenience though, right now he was a making your birthday something memorable.

"Thank you" you smile gently.

"No problem, but were you going to spend your birthday night by yourself?" He asks trying to lighten the mood with his charming tone. "Did you do anything exciting today?"

"I went out with my friends for lunch" you remember.

Jungkook nods.

"But that's not enough, you can't spend your birthday night alone."

You chuckle at his enthusiasm to lighten your mood.

"I'm fine jungkook, this cake is enough for me" you hold the little box closer to you.

"Let's order some food and watch a movie" he pulls out his phone "that would be fun. Would you like that?" He stares waiting for your consent.

"I assume you've got a TV" he pauses to look at you.

"Yeah i do" you chuckle " and I wouldn't mind" You say wondering if it's the right choice to allow a stranger to stay any longer in your house. Jungkook didn't seem like a threat though he seemed quite like comfort to you. 

-

"How did you find my apartment anyways" you ask  in-between bites.

"Oh that was easy" he says as he takes his time to chew and swallow.

"Well I got your address from a document in your bag and when I got here all I had to do was say i was a friend of yours and showed them your ID"

You're stunned by the information.

"So they'd just let some random to my apartment"

"I'm not some random" he sounds offended.

"Then what are you, my friend?" You lean in closer to his face to mock him.

"I can be" his voice lowers as he leans in closer to you, also mocking. You stay looking at each other like that. Your eyes fall deep into his and so do his into yours. You pull back from your thoughts when you notice jungkook look at your lips.

"I think we should stay off the beers" you chuckle leaning back into your side of the couch. Jungkook at the other end of the couch leans back too,  seemingly agreeing with your statement.

Jungkook stretches his hand to your table to grab his can and emptying it down his throat.

"You know I didn't even notice you had tattoos" you say after sometime gawking at his tattooed arm.

He stretches his hand out and gawks at it too.

"How didn't you notice?"

"To be fair i didn't even notice you had even taken off your jacket" you take a dry swallow as you turn away from his gaze.

"Oh I took it off a while back" he eyes the black t-shirt he has on. "Wanna take a closer look?" he says hoping you say yes.

"Sure, I have a kin eye for art" you say moving closer to jungkook's side of the couch.

"Says the person who has such a boring apartment" he mocks

"You know what I'd loooove to see your apartment" you defend back as you lean your elbows on your couch head.

"I bet you would" the statement comes off a little sensual but you don't mind. You've gotten so comfortable with jungkook so fast, but he makes you feel comfortable more than anyone has. You've never found someone to tease and who can tease back, it's fun to have someone to have a progressive conversation with.

And now that you're staring at jungkook's arm you get to see and know a little more about him.

"Did these hurt?" You ask softly

"Not really. I've got a really high pain tolerance" he states proud of himself.  He watches you intently as you eye each ink and drag your finger over them.  You seem to forget that you're dragging your finger over his skin which causes him to feel every sensation of your touch.

"You must be great for bdsm" you say harmlessly. You say really random shit when you’re comfortable and slightly buzzed.

Jungkook almost chokes at your forwardness, but he doesn't let you in on his shock.

"Wanna find out?" he says and you choke on the air you suck in, a blush forms on your cheeks and you hope jungkook can't see it. He smiles seeing the effect he's comment has on you. He likes it.

"I'm just joking" he flicks your chin trying to establish he's playfulness. You’re disappointed cause you'd really like to find out, and you're not sure if he really meant it or he was seriously joking.

Being drunk around a hot man is not the best for you.

"You're sad?" You widen your eyes at his statement.

"What?" He lifts your chin to look at him. You're close enough at this point that if jungkook moved slightly your lips would meet. You're okay with it though,  you're comfortable with this , you're comfortable with him.

You’re actually really hoping he kisses you.

"Why are you sad?" His voice is low as his eyes stare deep into yours, you can't seem to turn away from his gaze. You don't want to lose the feeling, the feeling of being pulled into an unexpected moment of bliss.

"I-im not sad" you fumble around your words a little nervous now that he's speaking.

"Well  you look like it" He scoots closer to you and places a hand in your thigh. He watches for your reaction and when you don't protest he cups your cheek.

"Want me to take you on a ride on my motorbike?"

"So that what? I die on my birthday?"

"You wouldn't die if you're on my bike" you scoff at him "do you think I'd let you?"

"I don't know would you?" You trace you hands through his hair.

"I wouldn't. You'd be safe with me" his words make your heart flutter.

Jungkook's eyes lower to your lips and before you can make any comment his  lips are on yours.

He takes it slow giving you a chance to say no if that's what you want,  but you don't instead you tug on his neck pulling him closer to you.

You should've pulled away and said no, i have a boyfriend  but you didn't,  you don't.

You don't want to stop, you don't want this to stop. 

You don't.

He doesn't.

And by the way he's pulling you onto his lap goes to show how he really doesn't want to stop.

You want to keep this feeling forever.

You never want the feeling of his hot, wet mouth on your neck to stop. You don't want the way his large hands roam your ass to stop.

And he doesn't want the way you grunt and moan into his mouth to stop,  he doesn't want the feeling of you tugging on his hair  ever stop.

Some people would condemn you to why you're making out with a stranger on your couch, and to those people this is no better than a one night stand from a club.

"Fuck" he groans into your mouth and you halt your hips.

"What?" you scan his face for any un-comfortability.

"Nothing , it just feels good" he tugs at your hips to keep going and you do.

Your mouths meet again and jungkook sucks you into him once more. You forget any rational thought.  All the rational thoughts you should be thinking of like; what about my boyfriend, I have a boyfriend, are far lost in the bliss.

It's one thing that your doing this while you have a boyfriend but it's another thing to drag jungkook into this. You need to tell him, he doesn't deserve this.

But you can't.

You can't tell him. You don't want him to look at you like a bad person (but you'll be one if you keep going anyways)

You don't want to ruin this new found friendship, this new found comfort.

You can't let this go but you can't drag jungkook in too.

"Wait"- you say placing your hands on his chest and he stops worried.

"What? What's wrong? Did I-"

You shake your head.

"No, you've done nothing wrong" you get off his lap "I just can't I'm sorry"

"Don't apologise it's fine" he sits up feeling the uncomfortability from his groin. "Just tell me what's wrong"

You wrap your hands around your torso.

"I just can’t"

"Come here" he says softly to try and comfort you. He tries to take you into his arms but you move away.

"If you wanna stay over you can, cause we're drunk" you try and comfort yourself for your actions. "I'm going to bed."

You walk away and jungkook doesn't say anything, but watch you walk away.

Maybe he’s gotten to comfort himself, he thinks. He’s a strander after all why is he acting like he’s known you for forever.

When you wake up you're gonna kill yourself for letting a stranger sleep in your house,  just because what? He makes you feel this new found emotion and comfort.

-

You wake up with the sun hitting your face. Your feet touch the ground as you walk to the bathroom to wash your face.  As you stare into the mirror you remember the events of last night.

Jungkook.

You rush to your living room and obviously he's not there when you get in. But he left you a note.

I think I forgot to give you this....

And a follow up is a set of numbers, which is probably his phone number. You should probably call him to found out if he's okay.

You pick up your phone to call him but you stop.

"What If he's asleep, it's probably too early" you turn on your phone.

"10 am?, damn what the fuck" you must have slept late last night and really knocked out.

You tap in jungkook's number and you walk around nervously as it rings.

Soon enough there's a voice that picks up.

"Hello" the voice speaks and you begin to wonder If it's jungkook, the voice sounds too professional. Maybe jungkook gave you someone else's is number as a joke.

"Jungkook?" You speak nervously.

"Y/n?" He recognises your shakey voice "Are you okay, did you sleep well?" He asks concerned.

"Oh, I'm okay.  I was calling to check on you." Your fingers tap against the counter. "You left with saying goodbye"

"I didn't want to to wake you, you looked so peaceful"

So he saw you asleep, you hope you looked atleast presentable.

"Plus I left you my number" he adds.

"Yeah well,  what time did you leave?" You bite you lower lip.

"I left quite early, at 5"

"What? did you atleast sober up?"

"Yeah a little" you hear him chuckle.

"A little? Don't tell you didn't let yourself sober up fully" jungkook can feel the lecture coming.

"Y/n I'm fine, I got home safe" he sighs.

"And what if you didn't, jungkook you could've gotten hurt" your tone gets more disciplinary.

"Well I'm fine, but if it makes you feel better I'll never do it again mommy"

You roll your eyes and his snarky joke.

"Well I don't believe you."

Jungkook sighs from behind the phone.

"Well if you don't believe me you can come check for yourself" his tone is low.

"Where are you?"

"I'm at work" he says bluntly.

"Jungkook!" You exclaim. "You were going to work the next day and you let me make you drink"

You hear him laughing.

"I'm good y/n. I handle my alcohol well" you scoff at his cockiness. "Plus I wouldn't have gotten to kiss you if I didn't"

You can feel that feeling in your stomach ignite again.

"About that jungkook I'm sor-"

"I have to go y/n but I'll talk to you later. Bye" he cuts before you can apologise and something in you wants you to believe that he did that on purpose. He doesn't want to hear you apologise.

-

"You didn't say uno so you gotta pick up" You exclaim, holding you cards for dear life.

"What stupid rule is that" he whines "I'm literally about to win" he continues to whine but instead you grin at him and nod for him to pick up.

"I'm not playing anymore, let's do something else" he drops his cards in defeat. One thing you've learnt about jungkook through these rounds of uno is that he doesn't like to lose and you enjoy beating him.

"Why? Afraid I'll beat you once again" you mock, he rolls his eyes as they watch you pack up the cards.

"No. It's just that I haven't seen you in two weeks, you think of want to spend the rest of the night playing uno"

You chuckle "You mean spend the rest of the night losing"

Jungkook scoffs ready to defend himself like a child. "I would've won if you didn't bring up that stupid rule"

"It's the rules jungkook" you shrug your shoulders.

"A stupid one" he mumbles.

You return to your spot on the floor with folded legs, after placing the box of cards back on the shelf.

"So what do you want to do?" You fold your hands over your chest feeling self conscious about how jungkook now has his focus on you. He notices your little actions and moves his eyes from your body to your eyes to make you feel less awkward. But it only makes your mind race more.

"Lets talk about you, about me. About our favourite things." He moves his legs to get more comfortable. "Get to know each other, you know?"

You let some silence linger as you wonder if it's a good thing to do. Will you be able to go back if you start getting to know him. But to be fair there's no way of going back after you let him into your apartment again.

"So you're telling me that you, y/n? were a pageant princess?" He gasps in disbelief , as he gawks at the picture of you in your pretty pageant gown with a tiara.

"Yeah I was, is it so surprising?"

"Yeah, you were so cute" he looks at you analysing your features "what happened" he furrows his brows.

You swing the photo book and he groans when it meets his skin with a hard smack.

"Ouch, I guess you lost the pretty face to a bad attitude" he says through groans.

"Hey!" You exclaim as you continuously smack him with the book. Jungkook holds your wrists to stop you and when you do stop, he forcibly pulls you closer to him and you almost fall on top of him.

He lowers his voice "Hitting me won't get your beauty back princess" you squint your eyes when he grins.

You move back but jungkook stops you by your waist.

"I hope you know I'm only kidding " you look down at him as his eyes try to convince you. " I happen to think you have retained some of your cuteness from childhood"

"Jungkook if you want to express how beautiful you think I am just do it" you tease.

He smiles "Okay then" he pulls you closer making you sit on his lap. "Well y/n I think you're a very beautiful and stunning"

You shake your head telling him you're not moved.

"Well I'm not done" he grins. " I also think that you've got a really gorgeous smile and I love the why you blush when you do" there’s more he’d want to add but might be crossing a bridge he won’t be able to go back on.

"i don't blush" you turn away from his gaze.

He turns your head back to him with his fingers "well tell that to your burning cheeks" he traces his finger over the apple of your cheek and it makes you want to blush.

You want to open your mouth and defend yourself  but jungkook beats you to it.

" if you're about to say how your cheeks aren't burning,  I can take you to a mirror right now."

You can't fight back cause you know he's right,  you can feel your cheeks burning.  You feel It all the time when he looks at you or when his skin touches yours. And also when he has his hands rubbing your ass like right now.

"You look pretty when you blush" he whispers against your lips and before they can meet you push away. He furrows his brows in confusion , you smile to which his confusion grows stronger

"Let's talk about you now" you whisper back.

You've been talking about yourself and you want to hear about what jungkook likes or dislikes , or any of his embarrassing stories. You already know he doesn't like to lose but you wanna know more.

"What do you wanna know?" His tongue grazes over his lower lip as he stares at yours when you speak.

"I wanna know why a guy like you is single"

Jungkook is taken aback by your question. He let's the lump in his throat drop down as you wait for his answer.

You really hope he doesn't turn the question back to you,  cause you don't think you'll be able to lie that you're single. You shouldn't even have asked him, you're now regretting bringing the question up. You want to shrug the question away but he speaks before you.

"A guy like me?" He questions " what kind of guy am i" he leans back to hear your reply.

Your mouth releases a little laugh as you reply.

"Uhhh" you suck in a breath between your teeth.  Jungkook stares at you encouragingly.

"A guy like you, warm. Approachable" he gives you a look of being unconvinced.

"You're really hot, great personality. There's a lot I want to say but I can't" you whine at being unable to describe him.  Jungkook is hard to describe cause he just makes you feel alot you can't fit him into a word.

"Why don't I help you find your words" he moves closer and his hands returns to you hips.

"How?" Your voice lowers.

You're curious.

You watch his eyes lower and his tongue graze over his lips. Your heart beat begins to quicken.

"Tell me how you feel when you see me" you stare at him, lost in his eyes. He pulls you back to earth with a squeeze of your hips and a chuckle.

"Tell me"

"Uhh, I feel... relaxed. Like I'm at peace you know" he nods

"I also fell free and comfortable.  I usually don't feel free to tell people things like I tell you" you and jungkook have been texting when you're not around eachother and in those texts you've shared some things that you haven't been able to tell your boyfriend (cause he says he's been busy).

You've shared with jungkook how much work has you stressed and he's been supportive and giving you some solutions. You wish you could express to jungkook how much you wish your boyfriend would pay attention to you and give you his time of day, but you know it'll probably mess things up.

You feel fucked up for feeling peace, joy and comfort in jungkook when you're supposed to feel that from your boyfriend.  You just wish your boyfriend would step up and maybe you wouldn't have to look for comfort in another man.

"Now tell me how you feel when I look at you"

You sigh feeling more relaxed to express what you feel.

"I feel seen, I feel noticed and uh" you find it hard to say what you want to.

"You can tell me" his voice softens as he rubs your skin comfortingly.

"I feel wanted" you lower your eyes and watch your fingers that play with each other.  Jungkook’s heart pumps and a smile forms on his face. If only you knew how much he thinks about you and how you have him wrapped around your finger. He’s not even sure how it’s possible to feel this way about someone so fast.

"I'm glad you feel that way. I want you to know that I do want you."

You lift your eyes to meet his warm ones that never stop admiring you.

"Cause you make me feel wanted too" he adds and your heart sinks. There's no going back from this. You can't believe you're being this selfish by dragging jungkook into your fucked up life.

"Jungko-"

"Now tell me how you feel when I touch you" you swear his voice has dropped 3 octaves deeper. He moves in closer to you to empathise.

"Tell me how you feel when my hands are on you, when I caress you and when I kiss you" he places a kiss on your jaw. Your body automatically opens up for him to move in.

"Tell me how it makes you feel" his voice vibrates against your skin and you wonder how the fuck you'll be able to open your mouth if it's not to release a moan.

"Y/n" he encourages you to speak.

"it feels good, it feels fucking good" you spit out "it's warm. It feels suffocating in a good way." You pause to catch your breath from his kisses.

"It feels like you mean it, like you want to"

"And I do, I mean it so fucking much and I want to so bad." His mouth moves to yours and he wants to kiss you but he waits.

"Do you want to?"

Fuck.

You don't know what to actually fucking say. You don't want to say no cause you do want it but you can't say yes cause you have a boyfriend who's innocent and jungkook who's innocent too.

You just wish you and jungkook met in different circumstances. You wish you met him earlier. But if you did would it have felt this good.

" jungkook i-" your voice is cut off by jungkook's phone ringing. He stands to pick It up but he doesn't answer. Instead he just sends a text. You have no clue of who he's  talking to but you honestly don't need to know.

"Uh, I have to go" he says picking up his stuff. He seems in a little bit of a rush, you wanna ask him why but you need your own excuse to not answer his question.

"Oh okay" you walk him to the door. Your goodbyes are awkward and you don't even know why. Well you know why you're being awkward but you don't know why jungkook's being awkward.

When you lay in bed you think of what jungkook said.

Do you want this.

It's an important choice to make, and even if you ignore it now its going to come up later. It's better if you end it now.

Maybe you should break up with your boyfriend.

Riiing.

Your ringtone startles you a bit as you pick it up. You sigh when you see the caller ID.

"Hey babe"

You watch his face light up at seeing you answer.

"Hii" you try and feign some type of joy. It's not that you're unhappy to see him, it's just that your situation has you detached and thinking. How can you be falling for a guy you haven't known for long,  when your boyfriend has been their for two years.

"We're you asleep?"

"No, i was just laying in bed"

"Good. I have a surprise for you" he smiles.

"What?" You sit up so he can have a good view of you.

"I booked us a trip to the island"

"What?"

"I got them for your birthday, but I needed to clear my schedule first, so we couldn't go then"

You feel a lump begin to form in your throat.

"But now we can. I know that I wasn't there for your birthday and I'm sorry. I know getting you flowers and a card isn't a good enough present from your boyfriend."

"Mark it's fine I don't mind" well on your birthday you did mind, but now that you've fucked him over, his fuck-up doesn't feel as bad as yours.

"No no, I should apologise. So take this trip as my apology"

"Do you wanna go?"

This feels like another pressured question again.

If you say yes to one question then you're saying no to the other and you don't think you're ready to answer any question.

-

"I missed this" mark says nuzzling deeper into your neck. Your hands, like a programmed machine,  running through his hair.

" I missed being in your arms" you don't even answer your mind is to clouded with thoughts. You haven't talked to jungkook for the past week. Mainly because you haven't answered his texts or answered his calls. Or even answered the door when he knocked. You thought it would help you make a decision but it hasn't. It only made you confused (and cry a little).  Especially for the fact that Mark has now been trying to get back into your good graces (not that you feel that you deserve it anymore) it just makes you even more confused.

"I really want to be a better boyfriend y/n you know?" He lifts himself up. "I really want to be better for you"

"Mark please" you try and stop him, you don't need him saying what he wants to say. It's not gonna help your case.

"I really love you and I want the best for us" he kisses your hands and your chest tightens. You can feel the lump in your throat grow and air slowly leaving your lungs.

" I just really love you " he kisses your hand once more and you break.

"Mark please don't say shit like that" you stand, moving away from the bed. He stares at you confused at the sudden outburst.

"Y/n, what's wron- and mark? What do you keep calling me by name. Are you okay is something wrong"

"Nothing's wrong" your voice shakes.

"No there's something wrong" he narrows his eyes and walks to you but you put your hands out and walk backwards.

"If its about the trip, I understand why you can't go. It was selfish of me to think of my own schedule and not yours too" he comforts you, but there's nothing comforting about it.

" I should have been better with my planning. But we can do something else just within so i can make it up to you."

"You don't have to make it up to me" The tears burn in your line.

" I do babe, I haven't been the best boyfriend, you know"

And you haven't been the best girlfriend too, you've been the worst. You've been the absolute worst.

"No you don't. You're not a bad boyfriend. I'm the bad one" you lower your head and the tears fall. Mark notices and walks to hold you. You don't fight back and just let him hold you as you sob.

" YN you're not a bad girlfriend. You're the best. The best i can ask for and the best I'll ever need" his words pulls at your heart.  You hate this so much, you've fucked it for the both of you.

You sob into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be sorry. Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?"

-

"Jungkook where have you been" a soft feminine voice speaks as he places his bags down.

"Ivy, can i just get some sleep I've been busy"

Ivy follows jungkook to the bedroom.

"Speaking of work. I called in to your job the other day and they told you you haven't been doing overtime" she folds her arms of her chest. "So where have you been if it's not doing overtime"

"I've been working on person projects" he says not bothering to stare at her.

"So you've been inbetween your personal projects legs huh?" She spits and jungkook's jaw locks. He doesn't like to argue with her, nothing ever goes anywhere.

"You know jungkook, you can make your life easier" she walks closer to his now shirtless and towel wrapped body. "If you just marry me, my dad will give you the money and you can be with whatever whore your wanna be with after that." Jungkook's body tenses when she lays her hand on his chest.

"Just marry me kook" her green eyes stare at him deeply.

"I'm not going to marry you ivy and you know it" He pushes her hand away.

"Then why don't you just break up with me!" She snaps.

"How many times have i done that? You won't fucking leave" he runs his hands through his hair frustrated.

Now that ivy thinks that he's seeing someone else, he only hopes she doesn't want to dig deeper and find you.

"Why do you even want me? You can find me other dude who'd be willing to fucking deal with this arrangement, shit"

"Why are you saying this like you weren't in favour of this before"

"I don't love you anymore, get that through that delusional brain of yours" he can feel the vein in his head want to burst.

"You never say that when we fuck"

"We haven't had sex for more than a year"

"Yeah because of you" her voice rises an octave.

"And that's because I don't want anything to do with you"

He walks into the bathroom and she follows.

"Jungkook what happened to us? Mm"

He stills, watching the water run down.

"Maybe it was when you threatened me just so I can marry you" more like when he realised she's crazy.

"But that doesn't change anything "

"It's does for me. You can't do all that crazy delusional shit and expect me to marry you "

He drops his towel and let's the water trial down his skin.

"Maybe you never loved me" jungkook groans listening to her speak.

"Maybe you’re right." He sends a cold glare. "Now can you let me take a shower in peace"

He stands waiting for her to leave and when she does he turns back to his warm water.  And with every touch of water all he care to think about is you. He just wants to be in your presence right now to feel some peace. To feel your warm embrace and touch.

To take in your scent that haunts him, to hear your voice say his name and tell him silly stories. He love listening to your mumbles.

But back to reality.

He might have just fucked up, but if ivy finds out who you are she's not gonna let it rest.

-

"Jungkook what are you doing here" you ask surprised but a little glad.

"Hearing your voice on calls isn't enough for me" he steps closer to you and you let him in.

"I've missed you y/n"

"And I've missed yo-"

"Show me" in a flash you're against the wall and jungkook has you off the ground.  "Show me how much you've missed me"

You connect your lips and soon that indescribable feeling is back. That feeling you've been missing and that you've been thinking of everytime when your mind isn't busy with work.

"I've been thinking about you and this ever since the first day I saw you" he lays you down on your bed and places desperate kisses on your neck.

"That must've been very hard for you " you say moving your hands to drop his jacket.

"Very  hard" he whispers by your ear and the goosebumps on your skin increase even though the heat in the room is increasing.

Jungkook's hands roam your torso until they find your chest, with your pebbled nipples.

‘’plus you’ve been ignoring me, which just hurts even more’’ he says looking at your face softly.

‘’im sorry,’’ you say but he doesn’t respond.

"but it looks like it's been hard for you too" he mocks you.

"If only you knew"

Even though you were ignoring him, you were dying inside. You couldn’t imgine how much you were hurting and confusing him.

You wonder if it was anything close to you were feeling. You’ve honestly been lying to yourself. And even though it sounds and seems a little selfish, you don’t want to let jungkook go. Missing him hurts.

You greedily capture jungkook's lips, he doesn't fight.  He let's you take the lead in the kiss while he takes the lead in getting you undressed.

You hungrily explore each other's warmth. Jungkook's hands leaves hot trails wherever he touches.

Jungkook presses your lips together even harder to try and fill in for all the times he's thought about you during all these weeks  and the things he'd do.

Even though he doesn't want to, he detaches your lips so that you can catch your breaths. You both breath heavily taking in eachother's heat.

Next thing jungkook's shirt is on the floor and your hands are on his buckle.

"You look so beautiful " he says staring deeply at you. You start to feel a little self conscious and your legs close.

"What? are you getting shy now?" He smirks at you. His hands gripping your thighs to encourage them to open.

"Don't be shy" he hovers over you and places  a gentle peck on your lips, to make you comfortable.

He studies your face as the question that's been on his mind rings.

"Do you want to do this?" He asks softly. The question brings you back to the reality you had forgotten for a moment.  This bloody question, might cost you your sanity and it has, ever since it was asked. He's probably just asking about the sex part but the look in his eyes makes you feel more like a pledge.  A pledge to him, a pledge to yourself and a pledge to something between the two of you. And you don't even know if you're ready to make any pledges.

"I do" you say and jungkook doesn't let your mind think any further when he has his lips on you and has your legs wrapped around him.

You feel the ache between your legs grow stronger and all you want is jungkook. To make you feel like he always does. To remind you that he wants you and you alone.

And to remind you that you want him. You need a reminder. You need  reason, cause you think it's going to make you feel less guilty.

Now that that the sounds of moans and groans has died down and you're now cuddled up under your sheets, jungkook finds it has the perfect moment to ask you.

"Why have you been ignoring me?" He continues to rub your back you continue to sink even deeper in him.

It not that he's mad, its more like he's worried. He's just found something he doesn't want to lose, something he never wants to lose and he can't lose it.

"Did I do somethi-"

"No" You cut him off " You didn't do anything. I've just been going through a lot recently"

"Is it that coworker?"

"No, i had him dealt with" you both laugh.

"good" he places a kiss on the top of your head and it makes warmth spread all over your body. You blush really hard.

"Then what is it?"

You stay thinking for while if you should even ask your question.

"How did it end with your ex" you spit out and he just halts his breathing "I assume you have an ex." You look up at him.

"Yeah I do. We just fell out of it. Wasn't meant to be" he simply states. And that begins the saga of having to lie to you.

Jungkook didn't even want to bring anything about exes up hoping he doesn't have to start lying to you. But you've backed into a corner.

"And if we did start to date. Would we also just fall out" you lift yourself off his skin and the cold seeps in.

"Is this what this is about?" He waits for an answer but you don't give. "What my ex and I had can't compare to what we have"

"Which do you prefer? "

Jungkook chuckles as if mocking you for asking such a question.

"You of course. I'd fucking pick you over everything." His hand caresses your cheek. "I'd  pick you over everything and anything" he says against your lips.

"I just wanna be sure" You say softly feeling worry and guilt creep in.

"Sure about what?"

"That I'm making the right choice"

Jungkook doesn't say anything he just nods in understanding.

"Get ready" he abruptly stands and picks up his clothes.

You knit your brows "I'm taking you out" he says determined.

"What jungkook its 10 pm"

"Yeah it's still early. Get ready, I'll meet you at the entrance. "

You watch him walk out and you scoff. What the fuck has gotten into him.

You smile.

-

"Jungkook what the fuck have you got me doing" you say still not over the adrenaline and fear of being on his motorbike.

"Just come with me" he pulls you into a building and has your hand in his every single step as he makes his way. After pressuring him you find out that he's brought you to  karaoke bar.

"Jungkook why did you bring me here you know I can't sing" your legs follow him as he leads you to your karaoke room.

"I know that's why I brought you here"

You walk into the small room and your eyes can't help but look around you've been to a karaoke bar before but it's a little bit different when you're not with a group of screaming girls.

"Here's yours" jungkook hands you a mic. "Wanna go first"

"No you go first you're the one who brought me here"

"Okay. I just want to let you know it'll be an easy decision after the judges hear my voice" he smirks.

You roll your eyes at his cockiness.

You wouldn't pin jungkook as someone to like slow music but you also wouldn't pin him as someone who can sing. Guess there's more you need to know about him.

Jungkook sings out to his love song of choice. He passionately stares at you as he sings every word and you can't help yourself but smile widely. Fenty has nothing on the blush you have on now.

"If you wanted to serenade me you could've done it at home. You didn't have to drag me out into the cold night." You say as jungkook ends his serenade with kissing you on the forehead.

"I'm no basic, boring man sweetheart"

He surely isn't. He takes a seat in the little couch as he watches you sing now.

Unlike him you go for a more upbeat sing about how you're the girl of any man's dream.

After doing  your little dance and pointing at jungkook. Your song comes to an end and you throw yourself on the couch and into jungkook's arms that wrap around you warmly.

"You're definitely the woman of my dreams" he smiles down at you.

"I don't know who the judges are gonna pick now" you brush your nose against his.

"I don't know about them but I'd pick you" his hand moves to your hip.

"That's the only reasonable answer" you lean closer into him.

"Mhm" he closes in and your lips touch. You relish in the warm feeling and the hot touch he has on your skin.

You're too focused on eachother's mouths that you don't see the couple that notices you through the clear door.

"Is that jungkook?" The guy asks with furrowed brows. He eyes jungkook's tattoos a little longer.

"You know him?" His girlfriend asks.

"Yeah but who's the girl that with him? Cause that's not ivy"

And as if on cue you and Jungkook separate and your face comes into view.

"Y/n? What the heck is she doing here." His girlfriend exclaims this time.

" you know her ?" He stares at her.

" Yeah she's my friend  and that's not her boyfriend."

Her hand goes to the handle but her boyfriend stops her.

"Let me do it." He opens the door and calls out.

"Jungkook?" He calls out.

Jungkook turns to face the door and his heart drops when he sees his friend.

"Fuck" he mumbles " Taehyung what are you doing here?" He stands blocking you from taehyung's sight.

" I came from a date with my girlfriend , then I saw you and wanted to say hi to you and ivy. But I can see a whole lot of you and not a whole lot of ivy. what's going on bro?" He whispers.

Taehyung glances over you once.

"Can we talk outside?" He lightly pushes out the door. That's when your friend walks in.

You sat awkwardly on the chair as you wait for jungkook to finish talking with his friend. Even though you don't know what him and his friend are talking about you know that something is definitely not okay, and that feeling of guilt starts to bubble inside of you. Your face falls and heart drops to your ass when you see your friend walk into the room.

Now you're fucked.

"Y/n what are you doing here?" She laughs more in shock.

"Sana listen to me"

"I'm listening " she takes a seat. "Now tell me the reason why I just found you kissing another guy who's not your boyfriend. or maybe you and Mark broke up tell me, maybe I'm mistaken."

You begin to panic and you know you're gonna stumble on your words soon. You're not scared that she might tell Mark, you're more afraid of the fact that she might start to see you in a different way. And the pressure to tell Mark intensifies . You fucked up you know it and you feel bad for it already.

"It's not like that. Mark and I are still together." She gasps to mock you. " it's just that me and him haven't been good recently and I-"

" you found another guy and cheated." She blunts out.

" it's not that I cheated, well I did cheat but it's not like I went out looking for jungkook. He found me and things just happened I didn't mean for them to happen but I couldn't stop it." You panic the words out.

"Y/n I'm not here to judge you. You're my friend the last thing that I'd want to do is Judge you but as your friend I wanna know what's going on and I want to hold you accountable. Maybe give you some advice help you with your situation" she places a hand on your shoulder "So you can tell me"

You run your hands over your face and groan.

"You know I never meant to actually like jungkook. But I did. And I don't know what to fucking do. I don't wanna hurt mark" you sigh "Plus he's been trying to make up for his wrongs and I feel so bad. I'm the one holding this relationship back now" you frown.

" Yeah I wouldn't say what you're doing is right" she laughs.

"Sana I'm being serious right now" you give her a stern look.

" Okay" her smile falls into seriousness "you aren't holy but Mark isn't any holier. He neglected you."

"But he's making up for it"

"Without first apologising and acknowledging what he's done wrong. Doesn't sound good enough" she leans back in her seat like she's a talk show host digging into the life of a celebrity. Sana has no friendship with mark, she doesn’t care for him. But that doesn’t mean she’s in support of your doings or his.

"I know you're in the wrong but don't let him off the hook so quick"

"But I just feel so bad"

You let silence linger for a little longer.

"Tell me this" She faces you. "Who do you love more? Jungkook or mark"

"Ugh I can't"

"You have to"

"I'm doomed if I do and doomed if I don't. Cause if I tell Mark I've been cheating he won’t want to be with me, and if I tell jungkook I have a boyfriend he won't want to be with me too. And I can't be selfish and lie cause it just hurts me and them both" you sigh ‘’ im scared’’

You take a sip of the beer you had.

"I don't even know how I've been able to keep it a secret. You know i'm such a bad liar" you release a bitter chuckle.

"You just have to take a risk. If you tell the truth and end up alone it's better than living a lie" sana adds. " just have to pick who you want to be with more"

"Argggggh"

She laughs "how good is the D that it has you this confused"

"It's not about his dick" you whine.

"Oh really? So your telling me that his heart and good personality is what makes you come"

You lightly slap her arm in laughter.

"How do you know he made me come" you lower your eyes at her.

She leans in closer to your face.

"I can see it on your face babygirl."

"Fuck this is gonna be so hard to think of. I can't keep running now"

"Jungkook you're cheating on ivy?" Taehyung whispers.

"It's not like that"

" Oh so are you and ivy are broken up?"

"I've tried to break up with her but she won't leave"

"Is that the reason you'll give for cheating?"

Jungkook groans.

"Not It's not. I just feel bad for dragging y/n into this." He runs his hands through his hair. " even though ivy says she doesn't care, she's going to freak out. I just wish she'd just breakup with me"

"I'm a shitty boyfriend why the hell would she want to be with me?" jungkook continues to mumble out, feeling the effect of his actions creeping in.

"Well I wouldn't say you aren't a shitty boyfriend." Jungkook glares at him "but you need to come clean."

"Yeah I do"

" Okay, who do you like more"

"I mean if I loved ivy I wouldn't be here right now. So I guess I like y/n more" he thinks a little longer about his words. "Actually I fucking love y/n more"

"Then there is your answer, now deal with it." Taehyung says. He’e really not the type to stick his nose in jungkook’s relationship but he feels the need to help him with this. He can see the toll that it has on him.

"It's not that easy" he whispers more to himself.

-

"Y/n" jungkook says before you close the door on him.

"You know I care about you right? Like I really do" you don't know where this is coming from but you understand and you know he's being truthful.

"Yeah I do"

It feels like a slight lift off his shoulders, jungkook just really needs to reassure you that he cares about you.  And he hopes that cushions the fall of his lies.

"I just want you to know that.  Cause I don't take what we have as a joke or for granted"

" and neither do i" you say holding your door open.

You stand there like two awkward teenagers.

"Have a good night y/n" you watch him want to walk away but your voice calls out and he halts.

"I know tonight didn't end so well" you both agree. The ride back home was quiet and all you could hear were the whispers of the wind, and it telling you to grow a pair.

"But i was wondering if you could stay the night" you hold your breath waiting for his answer. Jungkook's heart leaps for joy, that's a confirmation for him that you don't hate him. But maybe that's because you don't know the full truth yet

He knows it’s probably not going to be a light fall when the time comes.

"I can" he says walking towards you and you open the door to let him in.

"I really never want to lose you" he whispers to you before you shut the door.

-

"I know this is not better than being on a beach, but it's a good make-up" he says swinging your arms around. "Plus this is where we came for our-"

"Second date" you finish for him.

"Correct, when I made you my girlfriend" you smile when he turns to face you.

Mark is your first relationship that has ever made it past a year. You never thought you were going to end up a together, cause you were friends first, but you ended making official after deciding how much you liked each other and shared the same values.

Before dating you had spend a lot of time just hanging out as friends, but one night he had seemed to be fed up with just being friends and he asked you out. To which you said yes cause if how much he really fit into the box of what you were looking for.

But now that jungkook's come along you aren't sure of what you are really looking for.

You had so many bad experiences that when your relationship with mark hit a year. you began to overthink and wonder if it would end too, which caused a bit of a pull back from you but Mark assured you that he wanted you forever. Next thing you know you've been together for 2 years.

About a month after your 2 year anniversary you began to notice a pull back on mark's end.

It got you worried but you pushed away the thoughts thinking that maybe it was cause he had gotten a job a town away. Which had you two spending less time together.

You actually wanted to end it but he assured you that it was nothing and he was just stressed and that everything will be fine when he finds another job back home or if you move to him.

Moving out of town was a no from you and that caused a huge argument about how inconsiderate you are.

Next thing you know you're going weeks barely speaking to each other, he misses your birthday (bur tries to send a gift) and you meet jungkook.

And all of a sudden after meeting jungkook, Mark starts to care and be a better boyfriend.

Maybe you should've just moved to Mark.

"Let's take a picture" his voice snaps you back to reality.

"Yeah that would be cute" you say enthusiastically.

You snap a few photos with his phone looking like the most happy couple.

"Let me see them" you reach over to take his phone but he pulls back. You stare at him with knitted eyebrows.

"I'll send them to you" he rushes out his words. Instead of digging in deeper,  you just nod.

"Let's go before it closes."

The sun is setting and you're sat in a restaurant.

"Today was fun" you smile at Mark who returns the smile.

You feel his warm hand still on yours as he admires your face.

"What?" You question him with a tint of blush on your cheek.

"I'm just thinking of how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you" he places a kiss on your hand. You can't help but relish in the feelings of Mark showing you affection again. You missed this, this is what you've been wanting.

But even through this reconciliation you can't help but think about jungkook and compare what you have with him to what you have with Mark.

"I want us to get better. Fall in love again" he says.

"You're saying that like we fell out of love" you say under a chuckle.

"No no that's not what I meant, I just want us to start again" you sit there listening to him as his thump strokes your hand. "Cause I really love you y/n. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you"

Normally the thought of spending the rest of your life with Mark should excite you, should make you happy and be the only thing that you want to do. But with jungkook in the picture you're unsure. Not unsure that there's something to hold on to with jungkook and what you could have (assuming he even wants to be with someone who had a boyfriend all along )

You begin to wonder If I would be worth it to leave Mark for Jungkook, what if jungkook decides to leave after you tell him then you'll end up alone at the end. but you'd have to tell Mark everything if you do decide to start over.

"Do you love me y/n" he asks voice vulnerable and weak.

" Huh?"

"Do you love me?"

You stare at him hoping hoping silence isn't too long to cause suspicion of doubt.

You guess it's time to make a decision.

" I do love you" you spit it. from the lens of a microscope your words carry a fib but you've already said it.

Mark smiles.

"Maybe we should think about you moving with me" his words take you back, moving out of town and in with him will mean a lot. It'll mean you'll have to find work in a new area and you don't know if you wanna go through that.

"If you're worried about a job, I already have something lined up for you" he says like he just read your mind. You wish he could read your mind so that you don’t have to tell him about jungkook yourself.

"What do you say babe?" He holds your hand tighter trying to evoke an answer.

-

Jungkook furrows his brows confused to why the lights in the apartment are dimed.

As the moves his hand to brighten the lights, ivy's voice stops him.

"Don't turn them on you're gonna destroy the ambience" she chuckles but jungkook doesn't find anything amusing.

"What's going on?" He says sounding tired. And frustrated.

"Why don't you sound happy, look what I did for you" she says maintaining a her bubbly persona.

Her hand wraps around Jungkook’s wrist to pull him to the dinner table.

He sighs when he sees the alignment of decorations and food set up.

"What's this ivy?" He groans

"I prepared dinner for us. So that we can start  over."

He puffs out a gush of air. He's honestly tired of this and just wants it to end. He needs to break it to her for the last time.

"I won’t be here long enough for dinner" he says bluntly paying the table that had over and hour's worth of preparation no mind. Jungkook hears her light steps follow him.

"What do you mean" she watches him and gets even more confused when she watches him pull out a suitcase.

"Jungkook? "

"I'm moving out" he wishes he had done it earlier maybe it would've been better. Jungkook doesn't even get the chance to watch her face drop, too occupied with packing. He’ll return later on to collect the rest of his things.

"I found an apartment last week " he says the words stoically.

‘’jungkook, you can’t be serious’’ she begins to panic.

“ivy’’ he says softly and for the first time in a while he stares at her.

“im sorry’’ his words come out as genuine as ever. Even though things may have changed between the two of them, he still remember the love they had in the beginning and the girl she was before.

‘’kook what about us, we’ve been together since high school’’ tears fill her lines.

‘’I know, but maybe it’s time to move on.’’ He sighs ‘’I don’t wanna hurt you’’

She sniffles, ‘’well, do you hate me?’’

He shakes his head ‘’I don’t hate you, I never have’’

‘’I just don’t think we’re good for each other.’’

She places her hands on his chest in plea.

‘’kook I love you’’

He wraps his hands around her wrists to move them.

‘’I know, but I don’t think we’re good for each other’’

‘’we can start again.’’ She rushes her words out.

‘’you’re gonna be okay ivy’’ he walks past her.

It makes his heart hurt a little to do this but he knows its for the best. He always thought he’d end up with her forever.

Fell in love in high school and thought they were soulmates. But the world showed him otherwise.

Ivy began to change, got a little reckless and obsessed. Jungkook stayed thinking she would changed.

He noticed how she just got paranoid about thinking jungkook was cheating, when he wasn’t at that time. She got a little overbearing but he stayed for whatever stupid reason.

-

‘’I’ll call you when a get on the uber’’ you speak into the phone.

You haven’t spoken to jungkook in a while. He never called you. So you assumed he must’ve forgotten about you.

After thinking long and hard about it. You sent him a text about how you don’t think you could continue what you had and how sorry you are.

It hurt you to send that message but you had to. You couldn’t give up your life for someone you had just met.

Even though you haven’t told mark about it, you assume it would be alright as long you end it with jungkook.

He never responded so you assume he got the message. His lack of respond make sit easier for you to leave but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt your feelings.

You wonder how things went from zero to hundred and back to zero in a second.

But it’s reality, it’s not a fantasy where jungkook and you would end you together forever.

It was fun while it lasted.

When jungkook got your message, he couldn’t respond cause that’s not where he wanted to have this conversation. He wanted you talk to face to face to see if you’re really being serious.

He doubts though, you can’t just change overnight.

He hasn’t texted you in some time but you also haven’t called or texted him too. So he assumed you needed some time.

He had to settle down and figure out how he was going to tell you and fix all this.

He knows he’s been looking at this situation with rose coloured glasses on, but that doesn’t make what you have any less true.

You could work through it right?

Reading the text hurts jungkook every time, it confuses him too.

But he’s not going to let this go just like that.

‘’hold on’’ you call out when you her a knock at the door.

Your hand turns the nob and when the door open your heart sinks that you almost close the door.

‘’yn’’

He soft voice speaks and your heart breaks.

‘’jungkook’’

He watches the way you avoid eye contact.

‘’can I come in?’’

‘’I’m busy I have somewhere to go’’ you say trying to get him to go.

‘’yn please can we just talk’’

You sigh after your internal battle. You open the door to let him in.

When jungkook walks into your room he eyes the packed bags you have laid out, looks like you’re moving.

That explains why you’re dressed like you’re about to leave.

‘’you’re moving?’’ he asks but doesn’t stare at you.

You don’t answer but you feel how distant you from him. Peace is far from you right now.

‘’with who? Your boyfriend?’’ jungkook didn’t mean to say it but he did. He’s frustrated and a little angry.

‘’what?’’

You’re taken aback by his words and your heart begins to race.

‘’w-what are you talking about’’

‘’I know yn’’ he says softly and unmoved. His fingers in his pocket tap away.

‘’what do you know’’ you sound like an idiot right now.

Jungkook chuckles.

‘’I know’’ he says sounding a little shameful. His words confirming your thought and you sigh rubbing your head.

He walks around your counter and leans elbows against the surface.

His eyes on you feel heavy and they add pressure to your chest. You can’t tell what he’s thinking or feeling which makes it even worse.

Is he mad and came here you tell you off, or does he not mind. That’s not possible he definitely feels some type of way about it.

‘’I don’t care yn’’ he runs his hands over his face.

You don’t register his words before you speak.

‘’how? When did you find out’’ you lower your eyes to the ground and rub you hands over you arms feeling a wave of cold air wash over you. You feel embarrassed.

You feel like puking like the world is closing in.

It’s worse than how you felt when sana found out. You feel like a heavy weight crush over you. The pressure on your shoulders increase.

Jungkook doesn’t answer your question but his mind goes to the birthday card he found in you bag the first day you guys met.

‘’this isn’t how I wanted to tell you’’ you avoid his eye contact. ‘’I was going to tell going to tell you I swear’’ your voice wobbles as the lump in your throat enlarges.

Jungkook nibbles at his bottom lip. He knows by your reaction you probably didn’t hear what he said but he can’t help but feel a lump of his own form in his throat.

He walks over to you and you feel his warm arms wrap around you.

You’re confused to why he would even want to hug you right now, he should be mad. He should be pushing you away and telling how much he’s disappointed and doesn’t want to be with you.

Telling you how much you aren’t the girl he thought you were.

He should be mad, but the hand rubbing your cheek and wiping away a tear says otherwise.

He uses the hand on you cheek to lift your face. You watch his eyes stare into you. They’re soft and gentle, like he’s not mad. His thump rubs your cheek and your body unconsciously moves into his.

His other free hand moves to your lower back and pulls you in.

Your thoughts forgotten in second, you loved how he always was able to make you forget everything else.

‘’its okay’’ he says and you finally register his words. ‘’I don’t ‘’

‘’you don’t?’’ you ask voice, weak and soft.

‘’I don’t baby’’ he whispers softly against your lips.

You want to ask him why, but you can’t. especially when his lips are grazing yours. You feel that warm and familiar feeling of his lips as they peck yours slowly and passionately.

You close your eyes feeling the moment sink in.

Feeling his lips sink in.

You tilt your head to allow a better angle for him.

His lips hungrily interlock with yours. body pulling in deeper until it impossible but you don’t pull back.

you don’t want to.

but even if jungkook doesn’t care, you can’t let this go on. You’ve already agreed to restart with mark and you can’t let that go.

Its’s better for jungkook anyways.

And since it’s your last kiss with him you wanna feel every last taste of him. Every feel of his lip ring grazing your skin.

Your hands find their way to Jungkook’s neck and into his hair. You pull him even closer as your tongues graze each other’s mouth.

The light moans and grunts you release causes a wave to wash over him, like electricity.

He nibbles at your lower lip as his hands move to grope your ass.

You moan.

‘’jungkook’’ you say his name for no reason, but you cant think your mind is foggy and you’re out of breath.

‘’you make me so crazy…’’ he says before going back into overlapping your tongues.

He makes you so crazy too. So crazy that you forgot about the uber mark called for you.

But in this moment you couldn’t think of anything. With the way jungkook was holding on to you, you couldn’t.

He kissed you like you were the air he breathed, the air he needed.

The air he wanted.

This kiss too made him forget everything too, he has just restarted his life and he wants you to be apart of it.

His lip move to your neck and leaves kisses everywhere he can. You gasp and pull at his hair when you feel his hands roam your body.

‘’I only want you yn’’ his lips kiss you by your ear as he whispers ‘’I only want you…’’

His hands move to your thighs and squeezes lightly.

If you let this go any further it might be hard for you to leave.

‘’jungkook’’ you whimper out.

He hums and pulls head away from your neck.

‘’I can’t’’ you say with a heavy heart.

You watch how his face falls and it breaks your heart.

‘’im sorry, I did this, im sorry I dragged it out’’ your body pulls away and the cold seeps in. ‘’I shouldn’t’’ jungkook felt like he was having his heart ripped from his chest.

‘’im sorry’’

Jungkook wants to be mad but he remembers his own transgressions.

He did plan on telling you about ivy when he came here, but he just got so distracted.

And he doesn’t think he can tell you right now.

What would be the point anyway, you don’t want to be with him.

He watches you walk over to your bags and text someone.

He folds his hands into fists frustrated with himself for bring a coward and letting you go. But he can’t fight for you, what ground does he have to stand on. He’s a liar too.

And he doesn’t think he’d be able to tell you.

All this for you leave. He’s really hating himself right now.

But it’s not the right time for him to fight for you, it would only make you more confused.

‘’im sorry too’’ he’s apologising for many things some of which he should’ve told you about.

You listen to him speak. You were kinda hoping he would say more to make want you to stay, make you not want to leave.

Just something to make you realise you’re meant to be here with him.

But you guess there are none.

But it’s not his job to make you want to stay.

‘’Thank you for everything jungkook’’ you try to form a smile.

_-_

I'm glad I have this out of my drafts now. :)

[moralesluvr]

˚ʚ workout ft. miles morales ɞ˚

♡ pairings & aus: earth42!miles morales x fem!black!reader ♡ warnings: some swears, a little suggestive ♡ summary: you tell miles as a joke that you think you're stronger than him, so he takes you to the gym as a challenge to complete one of his workouts. ♡ a/n: need this man as my gym buddy BADDDLYYYY ♡ got a request? | masterlist ♡

"BABY, ION' THINK YOU KNOW WHAT YOU TALKIN' BOUT."

Miles chucked as his thumbs continued to click away at his controller, curses occasionally leaving his lips as he shot at something on the TV. You were propped in his lap as he played, his arms wrapped around your waist as you would adjust your position on his thigh every once and a while.

"No, Miles, I know it. I'm way stronger than you." You boasted with pride, the sound of your boyfriend's doubtful scoff filling your ears. He heard you pout in response, so he put his controller down and let his character run free as he turned you around, face meeting his as his hand placement relocated to your lower thighs.

"I love you and all," Miles started, and you could practically see the snicker in his voice, "But you not stronger than me, mami, I think we both know that."

"Yes I am." You insisted, "Have you seen my legs?"

Miles tuts at you with a laugh, squeezing the soft skin of your thigh that he was holding, "Nuh uh, we not jus' talkin' 'bout legs, I mean everything."

"But since you insist you stronger than me...we finna go to the gym. You and me."

Your eyes widened, the realization of your predicament hitting you like a train. Uncomfortably, and also out of doubt, you slid off of Miles' lap and placed your hands on your stomach, face puffing, "Can't go. 'M sick."

"Bae, you know you not sick." Miles snorted as he stood up, eyes placed on you carefully. The gleam in his eyes told you that he wasn't taking no for an answer, so you sighed and threw your head back at your fate, wallowing to your drawers to find workout clothes to wear.

Miles was already dressed for the occasion, clad in a white compression tee and basketball shorts. He sat back on your bed until you found a pair of Nike pros and a Lululemon top he bought you a while back. Your face shone of embarrassment when Miles peeped that the tag was still on it.

"Baby, you mean to tell me you had me buyin' that ugly shit just for you not to wear it? Oh nah, you gon' start workin' out with me now." He rose an eyebrow at you, and you gave him a light chuckle,

"It's not ugly! And workin' out around other people makes me anxious, they always be starin'." You shrugged, slipping off a pair of Miles' shorts as they pooled around your ankles. Stepping out of them, you jumped to get your Nike pros on, making Miles chuckle. You frown.

"Nothing is funny."

"What's funny is you tryna get them lil' shorts on." Miles snickered, hand up to his mouth as he flashed you all of his pearly whites. You gave him a nonchalant shrug as you ripped the tag off of your shirt, taking your old one off and slipping it on, "Not my fault. My ass is just fat."

"Can't even argue with that." Miles agreed, making a smirk dance on your lips as you finished putting on your clothes, finding a pair of shoes to wear as well. Finally, you stood up, grabbing a hair tie and scurrying over to where your boyfriend was sitting on the bed.

"Tie my hair up?"

Miles gives you a nod, a rasp lacing his voice as he tells you to come to him, so you do, and he places you in his lap as he pulls back your braids, securing them into a ponytail. You turn around to face him, rubbing your head, "Damn, I said tie my hair up, not tie my braincells up! Why is it so tight?"

"Want it to fall out?" Miles questioned you inquisitively, and when you shook your head no, he stood up with you and murmured an 'Exactly', making you roll your eyes.

He grabbed his keys and wallet, hand intertwined with yours as you left your lone apartment. Anxiety played on your nerves as you made your way to Miles' car, where he opened the door for you as you climbed inside.

The ride on the way to the gym was fairly silent, other than the music that was bumping through the speakers, which you would occasionally bop your head to.

Before you knew it, you had arrived, and you were freaking out on the inside. This whole idea of who was stronger had easily become a nuisance, all because of a joke, but you knew better to say it anyways, because you knew how your lover was.

But, you got yourself into this mess, so you didn't really have anyone else to blame.

You and Miles quickly checked in, setting your belongings into a cubby. As he locked it, he looked down at you, "So, where we goin' first, ma?"

"Um.." you looked around, mainly for anything that looked like it didn't have a lot of people watching, or occupied there. "Squats?"

Miles chuckled, and you froze.

This was not going to go well.

You both made your way to the squat station, where Miles stood by the rack of weights as you took a deep sigh, walking up to the bar.

"What do you start with?"

"Huh?" You murmured, making Miles roll his eyes as he leaned on the rack.

"Baby, what's your starting weight. As in, how much do I need to put on this bar for you to not fall over and bust yo ass."

Your lips flattened out at him as you flipped him off. He didn't retaliate, as his victory would be enough retaliation for your response, so he just grabbed two fives and slid them on each side.

He then walked behind you as you picked the bar up with your shoulders, the 55-pound weight resting on you.

Miles stood behind you carefully, arms at either side of your waist as he gave you an encouraging, light pat on your behind. You sucked in a breath and squatted, quickly popping back up as you smiled to yourself, hanging the bar back up on the rack.

The weight eventually piled up, until a 45 and a 25 were on each side of the bar, making you wince underneath the weight. Your boyfriend did nothing but encourage you as you started to squat, the weight making your knees buckle as you popped back up, letting out a strong wheeze. You stepped away from the rack and placed your hands on your hips, leaning over as you look up at Miles, who laughed,

"You did good, babe," He started, "But that's my starting weight."

Sighing, you caught your breath, not even caring that Miles inevitably beat you in your challenge, you were just happy that you got to show him that you were strong. Maybe not as or stronger than him, but you did have your own level of strength that you could be proud of.

But, out of your curiosity, you turned around to see Miles literally repping your weight. He just kept adding plates like a madman, until the bar was practically filled to the brim. That's when you saw him grow tired, the bar clanking against the rack as he stood up, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead.

"How...how much was that?" You asked him, and he gave you nothing but a mischieveous smirk as he spoke,

"505."

You groaned at him, "Fine. You won."

"Hm, what was that?" He asked you, holding up a hand to his ear as you rolled your eyes at him. You didn't feed his ego, instead, you just reached up on your tippy toes, granting a warm kiss on his cheek,

“You win.”

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 ☻ thank you for reading!

𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑-𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓🕷️: @queenesther996 // @wydney // @rinnyisnothere // @brieryann // @starhrtz // @daisydark // @randomhoex // @solanawrld // @whore4hobie // @tanakaslastbraincell // @simp4miguell // @nyrovi3 // @aziulsworld @enchantingfoxsparkles // @mancerseedu // @cafehyunji @personofyou // @mcdvsr // @calliarlerte // @pr0wlerpunk @tzuyuzzs // @clearskiiiess // @vienreina // @pixqlsin /// @stvrgrl // @zerosinterweb // @mookiebut // @urmotherswhor3 // @cumbermovels // @asmobeuses // @yanghees // @popeheywardssecretgf // @mxspiderman2099 // @scryarchives // @rksses // @mmst4rz

𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ✎: @ilyless // @milesmolasses // @laylasbunbunny // @all444miles // @thecoloredpages // @bl00dsuccker // @adoremvney // @anikaluv // @qtdenks

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @enj4i // @chaoticevilbakugo // @motheroffae // @luci1fer // @art-598

[friedbaekhyunandeggso]

mr. kamo

art credit: @/adrienwithane on instagram

pairings: choso kamo x female oc (kaori everest)

tropes: kindergarten teacher! choso x college student! teacher assistant/aide! oc

warnings: all lowercase, 18+ only, age-gap (choso: 28-30ish, oc: 19), lying/ulterior motives, underage drinking, mentions of weed (once), virgin! choso, dirty talk, pet names (good girl, baby), unprotected s3x, failed pull out attempt = creampie (don’t be silly & cover your willy)

word count/plot: [9.2k] kaori meets her little sister’s kindergarten teacher by chance & can’t forget him. he might not know her yet but she's not afraid to do anything to get what she wants.

a/n: honestly this story is kinda random but i was thinking about choso & this fanart that i saw of him a while ago as a kindergarten teacher. i didn't see him as a kindergarten teacher then but now i kinda think it's a cute concept. i was originally gonna make the oc a cafe worker but the idea for this slightly chaotic oc came in my head hella last min. anyway, i hopeee u enjoy-especially if ur one of the peeps who voted for this on my poll :) happy holidays!!!

“mom! come onn, you can pick her up on your way back.”

she hastily put on her jacket, “stop it, kaori. your dad and i aren’t sure if we’ll make it back on time so i need you. i know you can do it.”

“mommmm, do you seriously have to go to yoga today? aren’t classes twice a week?”

“yes, but todays bring your husband to yoga day so you know i have to. i made your dad leave work early for this.”

suddenly a car honked.

“alright, i’ll see you okay? make sure you get shiloh okay?”

she sighed, “alright, alright.”

she'd wanted to enjoy the fact that her last class of the day and evening work-shift got cancelled but it seemed she had to get out of the house anyway.

great.

kaori parked her car alongside the million other cars at the sidewalk. she was 7 minutes late. it wasn’t terrible but she’d meant to come earlier—if only she hadn’t gotten distracted talking to her friend on the phone.

she stepped out of the car, hastily closing the door behind her. she checked the time on her phone once more before slipping it into her trench coat pocket. she quickly jogged towards the kindergarteners entrance.

she only remembered where it was because she'd went to this school when she was a child. and now it was her little sister’s turn.

she glanced around to see other parents waiting as well, some conversing with a few teachers and—

“ri! ri!” a familiar voice yelled.

kaori immediately spun around to see shiloh pointing at her. her familiar pastel purple puffer coat standing out.

she walked over, noticing the tall white-or grey, was it?-man standing beside her. he had the most interesting tattoo on face, right along his t-zone were stark black lines. and the skin surrounding his eyes was a deep purplish shade as if he lacked sleep. and his hair? his hairstyle was the most.. outlandishly cute hairstyle she’d ever seen.

it was two spiky, space-bun like ponytails at the crown of his head. he wore a fitted long-sleeve purple sweater, layered with a white collared dress-shirt underneath. the sleeves of his shirts rolled up to his elbow, revealing firm forearms. he had on dark grey slacks and matching black dr. martens?? specifically the 1461 platforms? she swore she had the same pair at home.

to say she was speechless was an understatement.

shiloh tugged on his finger, “riri here.”

she let go of his finger then and waddled up-to her. just as shiloh reached out to clutch her finger, he was there. his large hand cupping shiloh’s tiny shoulder.

kaori blinked, she hadn’t even seen him move.

he then bent down, adjusting one of the loose straps on shiloh’s backpack before looking up at her.

“i’m sorry, are you here to pick someone up?”

“yes,” she gestured towards shiloh, “i’m here to pick up shiloh actually. i’m her older sister.”

“ah,” he stood up, revealing his full height before her. he had to be about 6 ft tall-maybe 5’11 but it didn’t matter. she had to look up at him to maintain eye contact and something about it made her jittery inside.

“do you mind showing me your ID?”

right. It was probably protocol for newcomers that came for pick up-and her mother had reminded her exactly of such but-just as she reached for her wallet and examined its inside, her ID wasn’t there. fuck.

wait. she quickly checked the back of her phone case. yes! her fake ID was in there.

she was nineteen but her fake id looked exactly like her real one, minus for her birth year-of course-which revealed her to be ‘twenty three’. she hadn’t used it much but she’d gotten one anyway. last year-well, freshman year her friends were convinced they needed one so they got her on the bandwagon.

she handed him her fake id with a light smile. he took it, examining it for a short moment before handing it back to her.

he removed his hand from shiloh’s shoulder, “nice to meet you, ms. everest.” his voice was flat but not entirely impolite.

she offered him her hand, “kaori,” she corrected, “you can call me kaori. what’s your name?”

he shook her hand steadily, as if it were a practiced motion, “cho-“

shiloh suddenly bounced up and down, “mr. kamo! mr. kamo!”

kaori suddenly blanked with recognition. this was mr.kamo? mr.kamo was the teacher shi would not shut up about-which was rare because shiloh was actually a reserved kid. well, as reserved as a five year old could be but even mom had been praising him for making shiloh come out of her shell.

he glanced down at her, the corner of his lip lifting handsomely. this had to be the first emotion she’d seen on his face.

he lightly patted her head, his tone completely changing, “yes, mr. kamo. this is your sister?”

she beamed up at him. what the hell? she never smiles at me like that? “yes. riri is big shister.”

his smile widened ever so slightly, “alright, have fun at home, okay? don’t give big sister too much trouble.”

kaori couldn’t help but smile at that, “i hope she hasn’t been giving you trouble in class?”

even if shiloh was the reserved type she always like to be on the move. she sometimes had a hard time sitting still and got bored rather easily. adhd diagnosis incoming..

he shook his head, “no, no. she’s been good. she almost took another kid’s juice box today but it was because her water bottle was empty.”

he glanced down at her, “-but we talked about using our words right? we use words before hands.”

shiloh blinked up at him, holding onto the straps of her backpack tightly, “words ‘for hands.”

“and do we steal?”

shiloh turned red at that, “no, no stealing.”

he then raised his hand for her to high-five, “good girl.”

shiloh immediately hopped up to high-five him and he moved his hand at the last second.

“kamo kamo!” shiloh whined before hugging his leg as he chuckled. “mr.kamo! high-five.”

“okay, okay,” he bent over slightly, raising his hand out to her once more.

shiloh high-fived him with a cheeky smile.

he lightly ruffled her hair, “you gotta go home now, okay?“

shiloh scrunched her nose before letting his leg go, “okayy.”

she walked over and wrapped her tiny fist around kaori’s index finger. kaori was merely stunned at how well shi listened.

he nodded at kaori, “i’ll see you tomorrow. i mean-well-“

“yes,” she smiled cordially, “you’ll see me tomorrow.”

Her mom had just picked out the hanger with her coat from the closet when she suddenly heard kaori’s voice.

“wait! mom,” she hastily bounded down the steps, “are you picking up shi?”

“yes, where are you going?”

kaori had on a jacket and her hair styled in a way that emphasized her wispy wolfcut perfectly.

(a/n: if anyone is curious i was picturing her haircut as this bc i think its sooo cute, anyway pls continue)

“it’s alright i’ll pick up shi today.”

her mom blinked, “you will?”

“yep.” she plucked off her keys from the key hanger before heading out the door.

her mom stared after her wake-in shock. she slowly put her coat back into the closet, “okay then.”

she was early, early enough that the teachers weren’t outside yet so she waited in the car, tapping the steering wheel with her almond shaped french tips.

she zoned out to the song playing until she heard children noises-in abundance. she glanced outside the window just as he stepped out the building, the rest of the little kids in his class in tow. it didn’t matter that several other teachers and kids had also just stepped outside. all that mattered was that he was here. and, of course, shi.

she waited until only a few kids were left to step out the car. it seemed a lot of parents liked to stop and talk to him while picking up their child. with his face, she couldn’t blame them.

she took her time walking over, letting him notice her before she approached. which is exactly what he did, he quickly ushered shi forward.

she took off her sunglasses, slipping them into her prada shoulder bag before offering him a smile.

“nice to see you again, mr. kamo.”

he blinked as if stunned. shiloh watched the two of them with a frown. shiloh had been grilled by her sister yesterday, she’d wanted to know everything about mr. kamo. she’d asked her question after question, some questions the poor 5 yr old didn’t even know the meaning of herself.

he subtly shook his head before returning her smile with a faint one of his own. “you as well, kaori.”

her smile widened before she bent down to meet shiloh eye-to-eye. shi pouted, still holding onto mr. kamo’s index finger.

“did you have a good day at school today?” kaori asked, while lightly pinching her cheek.

“yes.” she mumbled.

he glanced down to look at shi’s moody expression. his dark brows furrowed in concern until kaori snapped her fingers.

“mr. kamo, i know this is kind of a random question but what did you major in in college?”

“i majored in elementary education.”

“wow, they had that program at your school?”

he nodded.

“what school did you go to?”

“boston university.”

“boston?” she laughed slightly, “that’s so far out. what made you come here?”

he seemed somewhat taken aback by the question. she wasn’t sure if it was because he hadn’t considered it himself or because no one else had asked, “i.. i like this town.”

“you don’t think it’s boring?” she pried, “-at all?”

“no,” he answered, rather composed, “i like boring. its peaceful here.”

she supposed that was true. there was barely any crime here, most of the ‘crime’ was just college students doing something chaotic during rush season or partying too hard. this town was as nice upper middle class america could get.

and unfrickingfortunately she wasn’t able to get out. she was a commuter so her college campus was merely a fifteen minute drive away. and because she was commuter she had the unfortunate experience of seeing many familiar high school faces.

she’d chosen to commute to save money because her parents deal was that if she moved out they’d help with electricity, wifi and other bills but she had to pay to her own rent. she supposed it was their not so subtle way of trying to help her get on her own feet since she was kind of a crazy spender.

she hadn’t been able to save any of the money she made during high school due to her bad spending habits but she decided she’d lock down this year. she’d save as much as she could so that she could have the chance to transfer somewhere else and move out.

she ran a hand through her hair, lost in thought. she supposed not everybody wanted to get out.

“kaori?”

she was immediately drawn back to reality, her eyes flickering up to his.

my god, are his eyes dark purple? it had to be the sunlight playing tricks on her.

she shook her head, “sorry, i just-zoned out.” she muttered.

“you’re good.” something about the baritone of his voice felt reassuring-despite his tone being oddly detached, “is there a reason why you asked about my educational background?”

ever so professional. she nearly smiled to herself but held it in. she was glad he asked because—

“yes, actually, there is,” she tilted her head, “i actually go to [insert nearby university name] and i’m double majoring in math,” truth. “and education,” lie. “but i feel like im leaning more towards education.” another lie. “but i actually have no experience working with any particular age group so i was wondering if i could..” suddenly she felt a bit nervous but quickly cleared her throat, “y’know, shadow you?”

he blinked-repeating, “shadow me.”

“yes,” she smiled slightly, “shadow you. i’m open to helping out with the class as well but if you prefer that i just watch that works too-but yes, i’d like to shadow you.”

his brows furrowed slightly, as if unsure.

she quickly added, “sorry, i know im springing this on you but i’ve heard that your a great teacher-“ she watched his gaze lower to shi and she beamed up at him, making him smile in return.

she cheered internally as she continued, “-and this would really help me sort out my future career plans. i’ll probably jus shadow you until the end of this semester, which is in a month so i won’t be bugging you too long—“

he quickly shook his head, “it’s not that. i’m just not entirely sure on the protocol for this so.. i’ll have to get back to you.”

he paused, “are you going to be here tomorrow?”

“yes.”

“alright, i’ll update you then.”

and that was how she landed in a classroom of eighteen 5-6 year olds as a young adult who hates kids.

wonderful.

he clearly didn’t hate kids though. in fact, he was wonderful with them. he somehow knew exactly what to say to stop a kid from throwing paint on his friend. he knew exactly how to get a kid to stop crying after getting a ‘boo boo’ and he had little to no problem repeating himself several times to get the simple directions of the activities through the little kids heads.

his level of patience was truly commendable. it was also commendable how attractive he managed to look while dealing with the little menaces. she was truly shocked.

she straightened in her seat when he cloaked the last kid in a blanket. it was ‘rest time’ which basically meant all the kids got to lay out on soft nap mats for about forty five minutes. apparently it was either this or recess after lunch, depending on the weather.

he approached her, looking tired—as usual, “you can take a break if you want, i know its been a hectic day.”

“hectic for me?” she smiled at him, “i was just watching.”

he half heartedly smiled back. he’d decided that for her first day she should just observe, so that she could at least get a gist of what went on in the day.

“can i get you a coffee?”

he sat at his desk now and merely retrieved a thermos from his messenger bag at her question.

“i have some.”

“do you know where the bathroom is?”

“o-of course,” he shot up from his desk, “i’ll show you.”

she followed him out of the classroom, watching as he quickly notified the hall monitor to keep an eye on his class before leading her to the staff break room.

he showed her where the extra utensils, plates and mini fridge were-as well as some extra snacks-before showing her the bathroom last.

he seemed embarrassed about this when-in reality-she hadn’t even needed to go. she just wanted to get him alone.

he shook his head, speaking in his typical monotonous fashion, “i’m sorry, you probably needed to go right away-“

“you’re fine,” she gently placed her hand on his elbow, “honestly, you’ve been so helpful with everything. i’m glad i even got this opportunity in the first place.”

she watched his partially open mouth close as his dark purple eyes dropped to her hand. before he could speak, someone else entered the room.

she quickly dropped her hand.

it was another teacher, mr. benson. she’d seen him send off other students during pick up time.

he immediately whistled at the sight of her, “yoo choso, who is this?”

she smiled tightly, hating when other people talked around her like that.

“this is k-“ he glanced at her before continuing, “ms. everest. she’s shadowing my class.”

“oh wow! nice to meet you, ms. everest. i’m dan benson.”

he noticed that she didn’t offer him her hand to shake, but she did offer him a genial smile.

“right back at you, mr. benson.”

dan came to his classroom a lot after that. well, as much as he could anyway—which was hard since elementary school children usually demanded their teachers attention 24/7.

so it was usually around lunch time when he came to bug them. which usually consisted of him talking at choso while he ate and then roping kaori into unwanted conversation.

well, to be fair, it wasn’t like the conversation was boring but kaori was the worst when it came to people that she had a bad first impression of. it took her a lot to like them even if they tried.

but generally-all things aside-dan was a nuisance. it only took her a few days to figure out he’d be useless for her plans since he didn’t actually know much—about choso anyway.

just as the last kid grabbed their lunch bag and followed the hall monitor out the classroom to the cafeteria, kaori stood up from her desk. her desk was adjacent to choso’s and just about half the size of his.

he watched her stand.

“um-is it okay if i close the door?”

usually he left it open, allowing anyone who walked by to glance inside or wander in if they wanted—and boy did dan take advantage of that.

he held her gaze for a moment, “sure.”

she walked across the room, purposefully walking with a certain gait since she knew she was being watched. she closed the door only to jump when she heard his voice directly behind her.

“dan’s not coming, if that’s what your worried about.”

her eyes widened as she turned around. he was merely a foot away from her, his empty water bottle in hand. she hadn’t even heard him walk..

she finally found her words, “really?”

he nodded, “i asked him to come less frequently.”

she was a bit hesitant to ask but asked anyway, “why?”

“he talks too much.”

they stared at each other for a long moment before she started laughing. the corner of his mouth twitched.

she placed her hand over her chest, “i didn’t want to say it but yes he really does.”

he smiled subtly, “he usually comes by once a week but everyday.. is too much.”

she opened the door for him, knowing his ritual of going to the staff room to re-fill his water bottle.

she tilted her head, “i’m glad we agree.”

if it was silence he wanted during lunch breaks, it certainly wasn’t what he got. they talked, a lot.

he knew she was a college student, with both in-person and online classes. that she was a commuter. that her friends were mostly her high school friends and she hated that fact. he knew she struggled to make new friends and he told her not to worry because he was the same.

she knew he had an apartment. that he had a younger brother in high school, whom he wanted to go to her college since it was nearby. he didn’t have any pets-because he was afraid of the responsibility (ha!). he liked to play the piano. and he really really valued his alone time.

he was truly comfortable in his introvertedness, and something about that made her appreciate him more.

he was truly content with his life. she could tell by the way he spoke about his job and family—well, just his brother but he was truly fond of him. and he didn’t take the responsibility of being an older brother lightly-it almost made her feel like she wasn’t doing enough for shi.

it was truly no wonder he was so good with kids.

watching the way he was with kids made her start to warm up to them as well. she began to look forward to her shadowing days more than she thought and she could only hope he did too.

ugh, the truth was she wanted him bad. the more she talked to him, the worse her crush got.

it got so bad that she started to wear tighter things during her shadowing gig. not that she already hadn’t been—but it was definitely more skimpier than before. like a dress-shirt that was a little too short-revealing a sliver of her navel-or a long sleeve thin enough to show the color of her lacey bra. or a fitted v-neck sweater that ran a little too low at the chest.

god she was a mess. but she couldn’t help but mess with him.

one time she knew he was walking near her and she dropped a toy block on purpose, bending over right as he passed.

she only saw a glimpse of him-through her peripheral vision-but he immediately stopped. from the quarter of his face she saw he was beet-red by the time she straightened, giving him enough room to pass.

ugh, but it wasn’t enough. it wasn’t nearly enough. she wanted him and she wanted him to want her just as much. the semester was almost over and she didn’t know what to do.

pathetically enough, she landed in shiloh’s room. she watched her younger sister play with toy cars in front of a multi-level barbie palace on the floor.

she lay beside her, resting her face on her propped hands, “shi, what do i do?” she sighed.

shi made her cars stop, “do whot?”

kaori eyed her, “i don’t like mr.kamo.”

shi’s doll-like eyes widened and kaori already knew she was in trouble.

“liar.”

“huhhh?” that was the last response kaori ever expected, “did you just call your big sis a liar??”

she shrugged, resuming her task of making two toy cars smash into each other, “you like kamo, i like kamo.”

she stared at shi in stunned silence. in truth, shi and her had gotten closer ever since she began to shadow his class. in fact, shi went to her first sometimes when she needed help, which was a feat considering how much she liked ‘mr.kamo’. even at home she noticed shi wanted to spend more time with her. she supposed that was another thing to credit mr.kamo for.

god, why do i keep thinking of him?!

kaori sighed, placing her head down on the floor. “i need help.” she mumbled to herself.

here she was thinking about a kindergarten teacher while she had untouched college homework and upcoming finals to worry about.

she felt a toy car glide through her hair, “mista kamo help you, kamo help me when i sad.”

“thanks shi.” -_-

kaori was cleaning up the toys left on the carpet while the kids were at recess. it was nice to have some peace and quiet-or what would’ve been if mr. benson hadn’t decided to pop by.

in truth, she didn’t mind him as much now-since he came by less frequently-but whenever he did come he usually had interesting staff drama to share. she loved to eavesdrop on those convos even though choso seemed like he could care less.

to be honest he rarely looked like he cared about anything—or even, alive at that. except for when he was with the kids and during their little conversations (maybe she was just delusional).

she couldn’t help but believe it though. especially when she swore he was starting to smile more. she noticed he always smiled at her whenever she dealt with an issue amongst the kids—she hadn’t realized it’d become second nature for her to look to him to see if she’d done something right.

he was never a second late to offer her silent reassurance whether it be a nod or now, a smile. god, i am such a simp.

“bars?” his monotonous voice pierced through her thoughts, “you know i don’t go to bars.”

“oh, c’monn. its my birthday and i haven’t gotten shit-faced in a while. besides you haven’t met my new girlfriend, nai, yet. i really want you to meet her.”

she instinctively turned around, watching choso’s wide back-which faced her-as he seemed to be shuffling things around in his messenger bag. appearing to look for something.

“bars really aren’t my thing, benson.” he sounded distracted.

she placed the last of the displaced toys in the bin before standing up. dan immediately spotted her.

“kaori! you should come too. are you free this friday?”

choso immediately went still at that, glancing over his shoulder to find kaori right next to him. in her hand was the pen he’d been looking for.

he took it expressionlessly, though he couldn’t describe the turmoil he was feeling inside. it was a nonsensical thing really, but he had a habit of only bringing one pen with him wherever he went. he liked to use it until its last drop of ink before picking up another one.

and she’d found the exact pen he’d been using. he hadn’t even stated that he was looking for it and she’d known.

it wasn’t any of the pens from the cup-holder either, even though they all looked the same. it was the one with only a little bit of ink left, the exact amount he’d remembered seeing when he used it last.

he sure it was just a random compulsion of his, but to think she'd noticed...

“thank you.” he murmured.

she merely nodded before facing dan, “depends, what are you inviting me to?”

“my birthdays on friday and im inviting a few friends and colleagues out for dinner. we might hit a few bars after as well.”

dan suddenly paused, “wait, your over twenty one right?”

“yes.” lie.

“sweet,” he grinned, “then you should totally come.”

she leaned against choso’s desk, crossing her arms—completely unaware of choso’s eyes boring into her, “sure, i’ll come.”

“forreal? great! i’ll add you to the reservation.” dan whipped out his phone, appearing to do just that as he went on, “i’ll have choso forward you the details since he’s coming.”

“i am?” choso muttered.

“yes,” dan confirmed without a second’s hesitation. “you are, because you love and support me and cuz i’m your favorite co-worker.”

kaori pursed her lips to hold in her laugh.

choso rubbed his chin, “whatever helps you sleep at night.”

it was friday, the day of the dinner and choso still hadn’t forwarded her the details. she wasn’t sure if that was his way of saying he didn’t want her to come.

she currently stood outside the school, beside him. waiting for the last few kids parents to show up before she could take shi and head on home herself.

she finally built the nerve to ask him, “mr. kamo?”

he glanced over at her, “yes?”

“do you mind sending me the details for tonight’s dinner?”

she stared ahead as he faced her. she could feel him examining her as she bent over to let one of kids know that their parent was here and waved them off.

she looked back at him once the kid made it safely to their parents arms.

“you still want to go?” he asked, somewhat monotonously.

“yeah,” she then added, “do you not want me to?”

“no, no,” he shook his head, as if just now realizing that that was how his words could perceived, “i just don’t want you to feel obligated to that’s all.”

she laughed lightly, “i don’t feel obligated, don’t worry. i would never feel forced to show up to a party.”

he sighed, “right.”

she smiled a bit, “a birthday dinner won’t kill you, i promise.”

“how are you certain.”

her smile widened at his attempt at humor, “i’m not, but i’ll be there? it’s your job shadow’s duty to follow you around and help out right?”

his eyes narrowed doubtfully, “sounds too good to be true.”

was he flirting? his voice rumbled too much to tell. goddammit, why’d his voice have to be so deep?

she laughed, internally refraining from responsing with all the things her flirt-wired brain wanted to say as she spoke, “i’ll see you tonight, mr. kamo.”

he nodded before glancing down at shi-who was holding onto his finger. he usually let kaori go home when all the kids but shi had left.

he offered shi the most handsome smile, “bye, lo-lo.”

shiloh let go of his finger to clutch his leg, “bye kamokamo.”

just as shiloh let go of him and held onto her finger. she felt a firm hand grasp her elbow.

“wait.”

kaori glanced back, her heart immediately racing.

“do you need a ride? for tonight?”

yes in more ways than one, mr. kamo.

she quickly shook her head. she was hoping he would ask but she wanted to keep him on his toes-for now, “that’s alright. thank you though.”

he let go of her, “ ‘course.”

she stepped into the restaurant, feeling like an absolute bombshell. she knew there was no coming back from this but that was fine. she only had one more week left with him and it was all she could think about.

she wore a slip-style maroon mini dress that had the thinnest black straps known to man. there was a black net ruching at the bodice of the dress, emphasizing her bust just right. she’d used some heat on her hair as well, keeping her sparse bangs and layers swept in a way that made her look effortless yet feminine.

(a/n: in case anyone was curious here is the dress inspo)

she pressed her lips together, making sure her lipstick was still intact as she followed the waiter. she walked with perfect ease in her heels as the waiter gestured towards their private table.

she briefly adjusted her shrug before letting her eyes sweep over everyone at the table.

dan’s eyes brightened, “kaori!”

she saw his head turn in her peripheral vision before she met his gaze. his hair was down—my god, his hair is down. it looked so good, his hair was just a little shorter than her own length.

he wore a fitted, dark gray dress-shirt with the sleeves rolled up and she couldn’t perceive much else because she felt him looking at her. she watched his dark purple eyes take her in. his eyes gliding down her face, her neck, her chest and everything below before finding her eyes once again. the light flush on his cheeks-under his face tattoo-was all she wanted.

she greeted everyone but him at first, before making her way to the empty seat beside him. she sat down, easily slipping off her shrug to hang it over the back of her chair before facing him.

his dark eyes were already on her and she smiled gently, “hi, mr. kamo.”

“ms. everest.” he greeted.

she leaned back in her seat, “i think it’s alright if you call me kaori here.”

“is it.”

she nodded before reaching over to take the champagne flute and take a sip. the restaurant was nice, it was inside a hotel and she had to pass a lot of floors in the elevator to get here.

but nothing was as nice as the man beside her. she didn’t know what cologne he was wearing but god it was making her wet. it didn’t help that his dress-shirt was slightly more unbuttoned at the collar than at work. she swore she could see a peek of his chiseled chest. and the swell of his triceps above his rolled up sleeves?? she'd already guessed the man was built from the subtle outline of his body she’d perceived but—this built?

she just wanted to rip his shirt off.

“kaori,” he said, with that typical deep riff to his tone. she already wanted to hear him say it again, “you can call me choso.”

finally. she smirked slightly, “choso.”

she tilted her head, “i’ve never seen you with your hair down.”

something at the corner of his lip flickered, “i’ve never seen you in a dress.”

that was true. and almost as if it were instinct she watched his eyes glance down to her legs. it was then she realized that her mini dress had hiked up now that she was sitting—an ample amount of her smooth legs free for him to see.

totally not a planned occurrence ;)

he immediately looked away, she didn’t miss the way his jaw tightened.

“do you like it?” she asked innocently.

he didn’t answer right away. he seemed to consider something before he spoke.

“it looks nice.”

of course he would say that. she wanted to smack him in the forehead, but no. this was how he was, and it ultimately made this a lot more fun than she intended for it to be.

she rested her head on her propped hand, “your hair down looks nice too.”

not that she ever minded his hair up in those two spiky ponytails. she’d already asked him why he styled it like that and his answer was simple—the kids loved it.

“thank you.” he muttered.

“when did you get here?”

“just five minutes before you.”

“not bad.”

“i’m surprised you're as early as you are.”

she grinned. she usually was the type to be chronically late to everything. she honestly didn’t know how she had a job, or this job shadowing gig.

“i wasn’t gonna ditch you, don’t worry.”

he squinted at her and she smiled.

“what did you gift him?” she asked.

“i paid for his gym membership for the rest of the year.”

her eyes widened, “what?”

he shrugged, “we both go to the same gym-sometimes together but rarely.”

the thought of him getting all sweaty in the gym… should not have made her feel the way it did. she had to see that in person one day. and maybe help him with cardio.

god, she needed to calm down. maybe taking a few hits from her dab pen wasn’t the best idea.

she lightly tapped her nails against her empty champagne flute, “are you gonna get anything to drink?”

“i did but it doesn’t taste that great.”

he pushed a multi-colored drink towards her. she hadn’t even noticed it was on the table but now that it was in front of her she couldn't help but find the drink rather aesthetic.

“you picked this?” she asked, humor interlaced in her tone. most guys she knew would call something that looked like this a girl drink.

“are you judging?”

“not at all.” she moved the straw between her lips, “what is this?”

“a zombie cocktail apparently.”

she laughed before taking a sip. the flavors that burst into her mouth were quite welcoming.

“mmm, this is good. what are you on about?” she lightheartedly asked before drinking more.

“it’s too sweet for me,” he stated airily, “maybe it’s because i’m hungry.”

hungry for what?

she closed her eyes, sipping the drink until it was done. she set the empty glass down, “i’m hungry too.”

she was using a handkerchief to pat away any crumbs from her lips when dan whisper-yelled, “guys there’s actually a bar downstairs. let’s go, okay? let’s go.”

he was already drunk. he wasn’t able to sit still when the waiters came by to sing happy birthday, but she was able to get a funny video.

his girlfriend, nai, wiped a bit of marinara sauce from the corner of his lip.

“alright, alright, fool. they heard you. we’re all gonna go in a bit.”

she was in the elevator, staring up at him. somehow they’d gotten placed like this.

the elevator was packed with their crew so she couldn’t fault him but-god, when he was this close all she could smell was his cologne. something about it was sexy, bitter and masculine, intriguing in a way she couldn’t describe.

they’d been talking all night and she didn’t want it to end. a pang went through her as she remembered they only had one more week together. one more week until her job shadowing with him would end.

“you okay?” his voice seemed to travel down her temple.

she tried not to take note of how he had to lean a bit lower to speak to her. she glanced up at him again, prying her eyes off his chest.

“yeah.” her voice sounded weak and breathy to her own ears.

she didn’t know how he managed to hear her amongst the ruckus going on in the elevator especially with dan’s loud, drunk-ass but he did.

“you don’t have to go to the bar if you don’t want to.”

a flirty retort rested on the tip of her tongue, but her nerves suddenly came fizzling through. it was hard to think when he stood so close, and looked down at her like that.

“i- i want to.”

she watched him search her face.

“okay.”

the bartender handed her the drink.

“thanks.” she responded with a bright smile.

“i don’t think you should drink anymore than that.”

she glanced over to see choso seated on the stool beside her. he didn't know about her tolerance, and nor did he know that she was technically underage drinking butttt that was a problem for another time.

she tilted her head, “are you worried about me?”

she watched him run his teeth over his bottom lip, “depends. should i be?”

“does it look like i’m drunk?” she asked.

he observed her for a moment before answering, “not really but.. you’ve definitely drank enough to be.”

“what, can your wallet not handle it?” the drinks were really loosening her up.

he grinned-and something about it kicked off the most unruly butterflies in her gut.

she suddenly straightened in her seat, “honestly though, why won’t you let me pay for myself?”

she cradled the drink in her hands as she mumbled, “it’s not like we’re on a date.”

he easily removed the drink from her hands and set it back down on the bar. she knew he was afraid she would drop it.

she couldn’t help but notice how he sat facing her, his head resting on his propped arm. it was a small thing really but something about having all of his attention at once..

his low voice cut through the noise, “do i have to take you on a date to pay for you?”

she opened her mouth, ready to say whatever came to her tongue first until a man approached her.

she couldn’t hear what he said, all she noticed was the stark contrast of choso’s countenance now to when it was just them before. his jaw was clenched and the tilt of his lips betrayed a rather harsh annoyance.

she’d never seen him look this.. hostile.

she saw choso’s mouth move but couldn’t hear his response. all she knew was that his words were rather curt. no humor in them. no smile. no smile.

her fingertips touched his lips and his eyes flickered towards her.

all of the previous tension suddenly melted away from his features, “you didn’t want to talk to him right?” he asked lightly.

she shook her head.

“good.” he muttered against her fingers before he catching her wrist. he lowered her hand to her leg and lingered there a moment longer than he should’ve. his fingertips grazed her thigh, her skin was just so.. so soft.

he meant to quickly pull his hand away but suddenly she moved her hand was over his. keeping his palm flat against her smooth thigh.

“let’s go somewhere else.” she murmured quietly. he swore her eyes sparkled under the bar lights.

he was glad she said it because he wanted to leave too. he didn’t like all those leering eyes… on her.

it made him mad in a way that was different from the times he’d gotten mad before. he didn’t want to think too hard about it.

“let’s go.”

“kaori-“ he glanced over to see her in the passenger seat, her back partially facing him.

“kaori.” he repeated. she still didn’t turn around.

he reached over then, gently moving her hair aside with his knuckles before noticing that she was passed out.

shit.

he knew he could just look up her address in his student directory due to shiloh but.. she lived with her parents. how would her parents react to seeing him there? he assumed she’d already told them she was his voluntary teacher aide at this point, right?

he frowned. he couldn’t be too sure with her. what if she hadn’t told her parents she was out at a birthday dinner—or that she was staying out late at all? did she drive here herself?

he drove around the parking lot, eyeing the cars. he didn’t spot her car.

he pulled over then, glancing at her beside him once more. she lay curled up on the seat now, her legs drawn against her chest, with her hand loosely over her purse and shrug. her sparkly eyeshadow glimmering in the dim car lights.

kaori kaori kaori

she felt a something soft get thrown over her and immediately woke up. she quickly sat up, only to feel a firm hand grasp her shoulder.

“it’s me.”

he watched her anxious expression completely melt away the second she saw him. something inside him softened at the sight.

“did i.. fall asleep?”

he nodded, “yeah in my car.”

he reached for the glass of water on the coffee table and handed it to her. she gulped it down, taking long sips before setting it down and patting the couch space beside her.

he complied, outstretching his arms atop of the backrest as he plopped down. he was rather exhausted, his social battery was shot for the night.

she couldn’t help but take note of the few inches between them. she watched him lean his head back and close his eyes. he looked so relaxed. his adam’s apple bobbing slightly as he exhaled slowly.

her eyes dropped down to the few open buttons at his collar. had he opened more? she just wanted to open them all.

she closed her eyes for a moment, trying to gather herself before she opening them again to look around. his place was sparsely decorated but not entirely empty. it looked minimalistic, modern.

she was finally here.

“you have a nice place.” she complimented. truly, it suited him.

“thanks.” his voice rumbled before he raised his head and looked at her. “i- i can take you home if your ready.”

she shook her head, “i’m not ready..”

she kicked off the blanket off and stretched her legs atop his lap. “i think i need to rest more.”

his eyes immediately went to her legs, fuck, he wanted to touch them. he was supposed to move her off but..

he closed his eyes and moved her legs off of him, “kaori-“

“why do you do that?” suddenly she was straddling him, her pretty face right above his and her hands propped atop his shoulders. her groin merely inches above his.

his eyes were wide, “kaori-!”

“no.” she cupped his chin.

his eyes dropped down to see that her dress had hiked all the way up, above her hips. revealing the tiniest sexiest lace black panties he’d ever seen. he nearly groaned.

she yanked his chin up, “look at me.” she demanded.

“i am.”

his voice was so husky she nearly caved and kissed him but no- he needed to listen first. especially since his hands were digging into the couch’s backrest like his life depended on it. he was still holding back.

“why do you act like you don’t want me?” she demanded.

his dark purple eyes narrowed, “you already know everyone wants you.” he spat.

one of her hands fisted his collar as she leaned close. her face was directly above his now, her chest close to his chin.

“then why didn’t you act on it?”

“you’re my aide, for fucks sake. the sibling of one of my students. there’s too many—“ he flushed, barely able to get his words out, “-it's not app-“

she grabbed his collar tighter, her glare sharpening, “that didn’t stop you from thinking about me though, did it?”

his eyebrows skyrocketed.

"did you think i didn't see the way you look at me?"

"what way?"

"you check me out every morning."

his flush deepened as he gritted out, "do all your shirts have to be so tight?"

"if you had a problem you should've said so."

"you did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"what are you gonna do about it?"

she felt his muscles contract underneath her hand at his shoulder but he quickly looked away, “kaori, stop.”

he didn't meet her eyes until she loosened her grip on his collar.

“i-i’m a virgin.”

“what?” she nearly shouted.

his face was nearly crimson now, but she didn’t care. she didn’t understand how that was possible but something about the vulnerability and embarrassment in his expression made her believe him.

"is that supposed to stop me.." she murmured while cupping his chin, "that didn't stop you, did it? you still thought of me when you touched yourself didn't you."

“kaori—“ his eyes were blown wide, his breath staggering.

she lowered her hips slightly, still not touching his groin.

her hand slid down to his chest, “i still think you know what to do..”

she was careful to only use her fingertips when she played with the zipper of his pants.

“i think you know exactly what you wanna do to me..” she whispered, tearing the last shred of self restraint he had.

she almost screamed when he ripped off her panties with one firm tug of his fist. he unzipped his pants so fast it was just a blur, any shred of control she thought she had over the situation was torn away the second he grabbed her hips and sank her down on his cock.

he stared at her open mouth as she dug her nails into his shoulders. he was so fucking big, she couldn’t think.

she glanced down to see that he’d only managed to fit half of himself inside. half? wtf—there’s more? she glanced at him to see he was panting. his hands on her hips slowly raising her before bringing her down again, making her bounce on his cock.

“you feel so fucking good, kaori.” his fingers digging into her soft hips as his cock twitched.

“so tight.” he breathed out haggardly, still dragging her up and down his cock.

she kept a hand on his shoulder as she placed the other over his on her hip. she tried to move her hips with him but her thighs kept trembling.

she pressed her forehead against his, a low whine coming from her as he picked up the pace.

“y-your so fucking big, you know that?” she whined, biting her lower lip to keep her moans together. his cockhead was bumping into her most sensitive spots and she was trying not to think about the rest of his cock fitting inside of her.

“you got me like this.” he grumbled, “s’your fault.”

suddenly he forced her hips lower and she shrieked, “choso-!”

his lips were on her—kissing her hard, as his cock pumped fast and deep inside her. he kept her hips still as he fucked her. using all the strength his legs to let out his frustration. he would’ve nutted in her the second he got inside if he hadn’t masterbated before the dinner.

and yet, he was already close.

she broke the kiss, clutching his shoulders as she moaned and whined prettily. her long fingernails digging into his skin, sparking little bouts of pain that only made him thrust faster.

“c-chose! p-please-nnnngh! t’much—ugghh!”

he couldn’t think. it was like something else had taken over inside him. all he wanted was her, her.

the tip of his cock twitched inside her.

her nails dug into the back of his head, “choso, unnghh-y-you have to pull out—hnnngh, fuck! so good-“

he pounded into her the fastest his hips could let him. his cock was drenched in her juices, her body felt so fucking hot—so perfectly wet. her pussy was coiling around him like it wanted him to cum.

so he did, he couldn’t think. merely spewing thick loads of cum straight into her warmth.

she gaped, her eyes fluttering closed as she felt all of it. so much cum fill up her narrow insides. she felt it leak down her inner thighs and shivered. shivered hard enough that he held her shoulders.

“kaori,” he panted. his face was flushed, strands hair dark hair pasted to his forehead. “kaori.”

he pressed his forehead into hers, “m’sorry,” he lightly moved her hair out of her face as she fell into him.

“i can't—couldn’t stop,” he panted before groaning slightly as he shifted his hips, his cock still inside her. her insides were coiling and un-coiling around him. “you feel.. too good.”

suddenly she was upright, kissing him desperately, like her life depended on it. she hugged him tight, slipping her arms around him as he gripped her hair, keeping her lips on his as his cock drilled into her once more.

she was naked now, her hands flat against the table as his cock bullied into her.

she pressed her head down on the table, “f-fuck!”

his cock slammed in and out of her at lightspeed. she was sure he’d made all of himself fit inside her at this point. especially since she felt his balls slap her cunt with each rough fuck. he truly did fuck like he was pent up for a while.

she wasn’t sure if she could take it.

he groaned as she tightened around him. her juices squirting all over the place as he continued to bully her pussy.

she moaned so fucking loudly, she would’ve been embarrassed if she was watching herself.

he gripped her hips hard enough to hurt, she was sure there was going to be bruises later. his forehead pressed into the crown of her head, one his large hands cupping hers over the table.

“this is what you wanted right? hmm?”

he gritted out, his cock slamming into her at a punishing pace.

“y-yes! nnnnh-ohmy ohmy godnnchoso! choso!”

she came again, cumming so hard her legs shook and she no longer could lay still if he hadn’t been gripping her hips.

his voice was ragged, “good girl.”

she was spread open, on full display for him on his bed. she stared up at him and his muscular body as his cock moved inside of her. the insides of her thighs sticky with his cum.

“choso,” she moaned, weakly shaking her arms which were held down by his own. his fingers interlaced with hers.

“m’close, baby, i’m close.” he murmured into her cheek.

her back arched as she felt it. she felt his cockhead twitch inside of her and she knew she was gonna get addicted. addicted to feeling so full of his hot sticky cum, addicted to feeling so stretched by his thick curved cock.

“nnnnggggggh,” she whined. she was gonna loose it.

the bed shook his cock pounded into her. he knew the neighbors were gonna give him shit for the noisy headboard later but fuck, the way her tits swung with each rough fuck. god, he never thought he would get to see them.

nor did he think he would get to mark up the pretty skin of her neck. or kiss her so hard that lips would swell. she looked like a goddess, just waiting to get undone.

her tear stained eyes stared up at him, “kiss me, choso.” she begged. the simple order making his chest bloom with wanton.

he kissed her, with a bruising intensity. so forceful that he couldn’t hear how loud the noises of them fucking were. only focused on the feeling of her. of how her pussy suctioned his cock like it was made for him, like it craved him.

he groaned, pressing her body deep into the sheets as he ground his cock into her. spewing load after load in her perfect little cunt.

she awoke to his face in her neck and his firm arms wrapped around her chest. he was clutching her like she would escape.

she shifted slightly, trying to get comfortable only for him to squeeze one of her tits.

“stop moving.” he grumbled sleepily.

she froze before everything from last night flipped through her memory and she smiled girlishly.

she glanced over at him, at the head of dark hair buried in her neck and the broad back that followed it. she didn’t miss all the nail marks embedded in his skin.

now that he was finally shirtless she could see that his arms were truly a work of art. each muscle protruding against his pale skin and his veins—something about the way they traveled down his forearms made her swoon.

she bit her lower lip, “can i use the bathroom, mr. kamo?”

she felt him shift on the bed, groaning grumpily before mumbling, “you can’t shadow me after this.”

“that’s fine, we only had a week left anyway.”

he seemed to freeze at that, before raising his head from her shoulder, “you seem.. too okay with that.”

she turned over, resisting the urge to smile the second she saw his face. he was just so handsome— his dark hair was barely messy, merely framing his neck and face in a way that made him look like a hot biker. and the hickeys on his neck—myyy, she’d forgotten she’d done those.

she bit her lower lip to hide her grin once again, “well i got what i wanted out of it.”

he raised his brows, “what?”

she resisted the urge to laugh, “wellll there’s kind of a lot i should probably tell you.”

he leaned back more, as if wanting to clearly see her face as she said this. the crease in his brow deepened, “like?”

“you can’t get mad at me.”

“oh great." he shook his head as he joked sardonically, "as long as you don’t tell me you’re a minor i’m fine.”

“well..”

his face dropped.

“joking!” she giggled, “i’m joking. i’m actually nineteen.”

“what?!” he exclaimed, “i saw your ID. your twenty three.”

“that’s actually my fake ID.”

he ran a hand through his hair as he sat up straight, “christ, your closer to my little brothers age than mine.”

she followed him up, only to wince when her body suddenly ached all over. she decided to stay laying down, merely reaching her arm out to rest atop his leg.

“listen, i’m sorry. i should’ve told you but i just didn’t know how to bring it up-“

“that means you were drinking underage last night.” he was frowning.

she clutched his hand, “yes, i was. but who doesn’t?”

his frown turned into a glare.

she squeezed his hand, “choso, please! just hear me out. i know i shouldn’t have lied but i really like you.. i liked you the second i saw you and i wanted to get close to you but i didn’t know how.”

“you liked me the second you saw me?” he repeated doubtfully. “why didn’t you just tell me?”

“if i asked for your number the first day we met, would you have given it to me?” she asked while playing with his fingers.

he opened his mouth, eager to say 'yes' until it dawned on him. "..no."

"exactly. conflict of interest, right?"

his brows furrowed as he contemplated the situation. he chuckled dryly, "so that's why you asked to shadow me, hm? get some teachers-ed experience and talk to some eye-candy." he shook his head, "two birds, one stone."

“welllll,” she felt her face heat up, “i’m actually just a math major.”

“…and an education major. you double majored in both.”

“nope,” she pursed her lips, “just a math major.”

“WHAT?!”

[fairykazu]

NOT-SUPER-SECRET-CRUSH: tutor scaramouche in session! FT. SCARAMOUCHE contents // friends to lovers, requited love, hs au, modern au notes // if i write about my own math lesson here, would i remember it easier? masterlist // part one // part two

[sat. 8:30]

oh, god, what time is it? you squinted as the sun shined brightly on your face. grabbing your phone, [saturday | 8:31]. oh no. sure, you're one minute late but scaramouche hates people who are late. what if he flakes from being your tutor. oh, it's SO over.

scaramochi: where are you? scaramochi: do you even want to take this seriously?

you quickly replied back,

bobaluvname: i just woke up bobaluvname: my parents aren't home, im sorry. i don't have a ride (T_T) scaramochi: are you fr? bobaluvname: yeah... im sorry :(( scaramochi: ok

archons, sure, he's usually dry on text but not this dry! as you panicked, undressing from your pjs and quickly changed into am outfit.

ding!

what the hell? who's ringing the doorbell right now. you walked to the door slowly, you were still trying to stick your arms through the armholes. peeking through the peep hole, it was a familiar purple haired boy. wait.

WAIT.

what is scaramouche doing outside your door???

the indigo haired male sat at the furthest corner of the library, isolated from everyone else. scaramouche was worried about you but not like he would tell you anyway. the only way would be someone had to waterboard this information from him. but again, you're usually an early riser that's what he likes... tolerates you for. why are you late?

he turned behind him where the analog clock was mounted on the wall, the little hand on the eight and the longest hand pointing down. maybe something happened on the way? or you're stuck at home.

he texted you a message. [where are you?] ...no, that gives away that he's concerned. then, he added: [do you even want to take this seriously?]

perfect... doesn't he want you to know he likes you? no, this is serious work and an equal exchange of education and knowledge. it would be a plus though. he argued with himself a little more until he heard his phone buzzed.

[ two notifcations from idiot]

he swiped the notifcations open, seeing that you were in the chatroom.

idiot: i just woke up. idiot: my parents aren't home, im sorry. i don't have a ride to the library

he was right. you did have a dilemma, but he had to make sure. sending a reply back as he packed up his items back into his bag.

idiot: yeah... im sorry :((

well, it's well over five minutes of the initial meeting. he could treat you like everyone else and be an asshole to end the session immediately.

but you weren't like everyone else to him. you're someone he tolerates. as he was walking out of the library, he noticed you were still in the chatroom.

idiot is typing...

he stared at you typing and deciding not to type again. he waited for your text bubble to come back again. five minutes pass. your bubble doesn't come back. well, it would be better if he might as well go to her house, right? he doesn't decide to be rational about this and maybe this might seem romantic to you.

maybe...

that's how scaramouche ended up being in front of your door. he knocked softly before ringing the doorbell, "hello?"

he heard your gasp. "you're not subtle, you know. are you going to open the door?"

"ummm, yes! hold on." it seemed like you were struggling to open the door. maybe, the morax family hid a key under the rug or a gnome. he looked around the porch, noticing that he was stepping over a bump in the rug.

is it creepy to open your friend that you weren't very close with's door with the key the family didn't cleverly hid? 

yes.

he didn't open the door. instead, he waited for you to open the door yourself.

oh my god, you didn't expect him to just arrive on your doorstep with ease. from rumors you've heard, he wouldve ended the sessions without a second thought. you slipped into your shirt and patted the nonexistent dust off of your pants. you looked at the mirror mounted near the door. your hair is a mess...

you brushed your hair quickly, taking the spare hair ties that your dad leaves at the front. disheveled hair into a "sleek" ponytail. not really, sleek, you shouldn't lie to yourself.

you kept him outside for too long though. "come in!" the door creaked open, revealing scaramouche with his bag and two cups of very cold drinks in the other. "your shirt is on backwards and inside out."

"it is?" you looked down at your shirt, the tag was sticking out.

it's so over.

any remaining self-worth was drifted away in the wind and out the door. you closed your eyes and smiled, "okay, thanks, come in through."

he took off his shoes and placed them in the shoe rack. "i got us drinks but it's a bit cold now." your face fell and he smiled, enjoying teasing you. but from your point of view, he seemed a devil. a very smart devil though!

"although, you did waste my time," why is his words so harsh for wanting to say something nice? "but it's fine. it's whatever miss yae wanted to give to my mother. what now?"

"well, we can go in my room! c'mon, just wait for a minute because, well, y'know." you gestured to your inside out and backwards shirt.

"got it." as he watched you go upstairs. going to her room?? he's a little freaked out but he has to play it cool. "scaramouche, go up!"

"don't boss me around." despite his words, he walked up the stairs. you shouted back, with your shirt on correctly.

"i have the power though! think of your english grade." you explained, smirking. he snorted at your attempt of "winning".

"how about you think about your math and science grade?" he retorted back as he heard you sigh, he laughed to himself, reveling in the fact that he won this pretend competition.

well, you won in a way but definitely not this one because he would never tell you.

it's awkward... or at least to scaramouche. you had asked if he wanted to be the tutor or the tutee and he opted to the tutee. but he couldn't even pay attention to the words you were saying, as it was in of one ear and out of the other. it's strange to be in the bedroom of the girl he has crushed on for years.

you were on the other side of the desk, guiding him on a topic he was awful at. as much as he wanted to pay attention to what you were saying, he couldn't but help to look at you or your lips and how soft they'd feel against his.

ahem. he squeezed his eyes shut. maybe he should've offered to be the tutor.

your hand briefly touched his shoulder, he flinched, "scaramouche? are you okay? do you need a break?"

one touch from you made him freeze, it's so over for his reputation. he mumbled out a word which you took as a yes. "i'll get you a drink and snacks, okay? maybe you're not in the right mood for english, it's okay. you can tutor me for my lessons, instead."

scaramouche pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded stiffly. thank god, she didn't notice.

scaramouche is defintely acting off today. usually he's super grouchy, is it opposite day? do you start being like mr. grinch? why was scara acting so weird?? you thought as you walked down the stairs. turning into the kitchen to see...

oh god, it's baba.

your dad sat near the counter, waiting for his tea leaves to seep into the hot water. what would your dad think with scaramouche being in your room? would he freak out?? does he even know scara??? "hello, name, do you need anything? did the tutoring go well?" he asked. the steam swirled out of the cup as you tried to answer quick but not too quickly.

"hi, baba! i need some water. do you know where the bottles are?"

he adjusted his glasses, "below the counter. did your tutoring go well?"

"it's not exactly over. the tutor- remember scaramouche?-" you tried to express scaramouche with hand movements. a guy around your age on the shorter side.

he sipped his tea, "ahh, ei's child?"

"mhm! he's upstairs right now."

he choked on his tea, "what." you grabbed some napkins dabbing your dad's clothes with the cloth. "i didn't have a ride to the library," as your dad tried to regain his composure, slipping away from the counter, you grabbed the water bottles and a few snacks from the cabinets. your arms were full as you walked upstairs, "don't worry, baba! i will crack the door open."

"it better be wide open, young lady! you should've informed me about this!!"

"i'm sorry, baba!" your door closed completely behind you as you apologized, "oopsy, baba, i forgot!"

the door creaked open.

"hi, scara, my dad's home. but i have snacks."

"mr. morax is here... ?" scaramouche repeated, sounding a bit afraid. is your dad scary? maybe. did your friends say meeting your dad was like approaching a dragon? yes. is scaramouche feeling a little light headed? no (lying).

"yes, don't worry, he's all bark, no bite! anyway, tutor me, scara." you smiled brightly as he opted to be grouchy again. no way, he would falter this time.

you sat down next to him as scaramouche asked, "okay, so what chapter are you on?"

you tapped your chin, trying to remember, "chapter five, exponential and logarithmic functions."

"oh, i liked that chapter."

you frowned. scaramouche chuckled quietly, it's as if that frown would be engraved into your face. he stopped laughing, but a smile on your face would be better. he cleared his throat, "once you get a hang of it, it would be easier."

"are you sure?"

"would i be passing math right now if i wasn't?" scaramouche said, boasting a little.

"ok, don't flex on me too much now." you cried.

"for this problem you have to remember that logb y, which is the argument, equals x only if the equation is bx equals y. this is a rule you have to remember throughout the lesson."

"what?"

"you'll get the hang of it." he said it with confidence. after realizing, he sounded too nice, he added, harshly, "if you did, you wouldn't have needed me in the first place."

you pushed him playfully, "okay, scaramouche, don't let that get in your head, remember? you're the one with a terrible score in english."

"..."

as time passed, the lessons were easier to understand for the both of you, well, mostly scaramouche. but he wouldn't tell you that. he did. he likes to boast, remember?

[one notification from baba +1]

baba: i forgot i have more work to intend to baba: next time, please tell me if you will have a friend over. name: very sorry, baba! i will tell you next time. have fun at work, tell hu tao to stop overworking you :(( baba: 😂😂 baba: do not worry, name, hu tao doesn't overwork me. name: okay! have fun at work, love you baba: love you too.

after the session was over, scaramouche winced at himself, thinking back what he said three hours ago. although it was true, your shirt was on backwards and even inside out, he wanted to say, "morning, let's continue."

but continue what?? you guys didn't start tutoring beforehand. he's so stupid. attempting to save himself from the silence filling the room, he offered,

"do you want boba?" he said, quickly as he watched your eyes gleam with joy.

you laughed it off before you noticed he was serious. "wait, seriously?"

"yes, it's my treat." he replied, looking at you. has he ever looked this sparkly before? wait, this isn't a shoujo anime and obviously, he means it as friends. "sure! like right now or later?"

"do you want boba right now or later?" wow, answering a question with a question, so smart, scaramouche. the answer was obvious by just looking at you. "im fine with later though."

"no, no! right now is fine! just let me text my dad first."

"of course." scaramouche said.

name: baba, can i go out with scaramouche for boba? baba: yes but bring another friend too. name: i'll go to the boba place that ganyu works at! baba: good idea. have fun, name. who will be paying? do you need money? name: he will baba: 👍👍

"he said yeah but can we go to the one ganyu works at?" you asked as scaramouche nodded his head,

"since i'd pay, you can choose."

"hooray!!!" you cheered as you looked at him expectantly. he furrowed his brows as you gestured him to cheer too.

"hooray."

well, it was good enough.

tutor scara's tutees [open] : @saccharine-sucks @ainnofinway

[daisynik7]

Rush

Chapter 9: Could've Been

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x f!reader

Rating: Explicit

cw: cunnilingus (face riding), vaginal sex (cowgirl), underaged drinking, angst

Summary: On the night of Alpha Tau’s fall formal, you finally do something that should have been done a long time ago.

Notes: Song is “Could’ve Been” by H.E.R. (ft. Bryson Tiller)

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In the days preceding Alpha Tau’s fall formal, Eren doesn’t hear a peep from her. The night he broke the news about taking Pieck as his date, she hung up on him without waiting for a goodbye. He should have predicted this type of reaction. Given how clingy she’s been in the past, he was hoping for a truce in the form of sex after a few days of letting it simmer. That’s how he lands back in her good graces time and time again. 

Even with this radio silence, it doesn’t faze him much. He’s confident that he’s still got the upper hand. Once the weekend is over and she realizes nothing will happen between him and Pieck, the anger will subside; she’ll come crawling back. Eager and needy for him like always. Does he feel guilty for pissing her off? Sure, maybe just a bit. It is what it is.

Saturday afternoon, Eren and Armin head to Alpha Tau to board the first bus. Dressed in sweats and bags in hand, the two roommates part ways outside the house. Armin goes towards Annie, Hitch, and Connie. Eren is dragged to where Reiner, Sandra, and Bertolt wait. Pieck and the other Delta Mu sister, who Eren recognizes is Mikasa’s friend Louise, arrive five minutes later. 

“Hi Eren,” Pieck says, a polite smile spread across her face.

“Hey. Thanks for coming with me.”

Louise stands next to Bertolt while Reiner hands out flasks to each of them, filled with what smells like vodka. He whispers, “Don’t worry, we have more bottles in our bags. We can refill at the hotel later.”

Sandra breaks away from their group to hug Hitch. Eren turns around to observe them, immediately making eye contact with Annie, who glares. He makes a mental note to steer clear of her the rest of the evening. 

He scans the rest of the crowd to look for Mikasa and Jean. He doesn’t spot them, assuming they’ll be on the next bus scheduled to leave in half an hour. Mike is also noticeably missing. 

Once boarded, Eren and Pieck sit beside each other in a comfortable silence for the first ten minutes of the ride. Attempting to initiate small talk, he reiterates, “Thank you again for coming with me to this.”

She giggles. “I’ll admit, I was a bit surprised to hear that you wanted to take me.”

“Why?” He sips from his flask, curious.

“I thought you’d take your girlfriend instead. You know, the one we played beer pong with at Halloween?” She says her name, causing Eren to sputter on his drink. 

Whipping his head around to ensure no one else can hear them, he whispers, “What did you say?”

There’s a sly grin on her face as she responds, “It was very obvious. You couldn’t stop staring at her.”

“Well, she’s not my girlfriend. I barely know her,” he explains, hastily.  

She raises a brow, studying him. “Who is she to you, then? It seems like there’s something going on between you two.” 

“She’s no one,” he lies. A twinge of guilt spasms in his chest.

Shrugging, she relents. “Sorry for assuming. I guess I’m wrong.” She wears her pleasant smile again, unconcerned that she rocked his cool disposition. “Forget I said anything.”

He wasn’t expecting her name to be brought up at all tonight. It seems like everywhere he goes, she lingers, whether in his own mind or in that of others. It hasn’t been fifteen minutes into this bus ride, and he’s already flustered. He drinks more alcohol to suppress his feelings until she’s buried all the way in the back of his thoughts.

At the hotel, each brother checks into their room. Reiner, Bertolt, and Eren opt for single beds. Before they head up the elevator to their assigned floor, Armin passes by and mentions, “If you guys want to pre-game with us, we’re all rooming together in Room 310!”

Reiner scoffs. “No thanks. We’re going to have our own pre-game in my room.”

Sandra smacks him on the arm. “I want to hang out with Hitch. Let’s just pre-game in their room. It’s bigger and there will be more people. It’ll be way more fun.”

Reiner grumbles, “Fine. We’ll see you there. We’ll bring some of our alcohol.”

“Great! We brought some too. See you all in a bit!”

Up on the third floor, Eren and Pieck enter Room 324 in silence, both unsure what to talk about. He especially feels awkward after their conversation earlier on the bus. Pieck occupies the bathroom to change while he gets ready in one corner of the room. He decides on an all-black outfit comprised of a turtleneck sweater underneath his suit jacket, black slacks, and black oxfords. Pieck exits the bathroom, wearing a maroon floral dress that flows down to her ankles.

“You look great,” he compliments, as she puts on her shoes. 

“Thank you!” she beams. “You too. You kinda look like a spy.”

He takes it as a compliment, focusing on his reflection in the mirror to style his hair in the classic man-bun. It’s only now that he recalls how Mike was the first to tie his hair up like this, way back at the beginning of the semester. You owe me if this gets you laid tonight, he remembers him saying. In a way, he does owe that idiot. He figures they’re even now, considering what happened on Halloween. 

Thinking about him with her bothers Eren once again. But he takes solace knowing they won’t be together here. Rumor has it that the senior goes to formals alone on account of him notoriously getting too drunk to pay attention to his date. Certain this is still true, he isn’t concerned about running into her today. The evening will pass by smoothly. All according to plan. 

He waits for Pieck to finish her makeup before heading down the hall to Room 310. Armin and Connie greet them, patting him on the back happily; Pieck goes over to the girls to introduce herself. Eren does his best to avoid the women, especially Annie, who continues to stare daggers at him every chance she gets. 

The rest join soon after, the girls sticking together, the boys huddled in their own circle. Bertolt sneaks glances at Annie, who completely ignores him. Reiner miraculously does not make any offensive comments, a true rarity for him. 

For the next hour, they drink while chatting, the girls casually dancing along to the music blasting through Connie’s speakers. Once it gets closer to 7:00 PM, they all pour whatever remaining liquor they have into their flasks to sneak downstairs. Eren is filling his with vodka when Annie intentionally bumps into him. 

“Annie,” he nods. 

“Jaeger,” she mutters, eyeing him with contempt. 

He doesn’t say anything, not interested in conversing with her, predicting it will lead to the mention of a certain someone. She doesn’t give him a choice, though, as she begins speaking. “Pieck is nice. I hope you don’t lead her on, too.”

In a low voice, he responds, “I’m not interested in Pieck like that. I just had to bring someone.”

She scoffs, barely keeping herself quiet. Luckily, the music is loud enough to drown out their conversation. “I take back what I said to you last week. I don’t respect you at all. At least Reiner knows he’s an asshole and owns it. You on the other hand, you’re a lost cause. I still have no idea why she would associate with someone like you.”

“Can you just drop it already, Annie?” he hisses. “Can’t I have one night without her being thrown in my face like this?”

She blinks, a tiny smirk forming on her lips. “You have no idea, do you?”

“No idea about what?”

“Oh, nothing. You’ll see soon enough.” She steps away to join her friends again, leaving Eren to speculate on her ominous parting. It’s just Annie trying to get under his skin, which she always successfully does. Frustrated, he takes the whole vodka bottle and throws it back, swallowing a few shots worth until his throat burns.

Downstairs, the doors to the ballroom are open. Levi stands at the entrance greeting everyone as they enter. “Oi, pledges. Welcome to your first formal. Seating chart is over there.” He points to an easel with a large sign propped on it. “Have fun.”

Eren scans the poster for his name, seeing it listed under Table 3. He’s tipsy enough not to care who else is sitting with them. At the table, Marco is already seated next to his friend, a girl from the women’s soccer team. Petra from Sigma Nu Kappa sits next to an empty chair with a jacket slung over the back, presumably Levi’s. There are two remaining spots currently unoccupied.

They take their seats, Pieck chatting up the rest of the table as Eren examines his surroundings, trying to locate his friends. Armin and Connie are at a table with Erwin and his guest, Hange. Reiner and Bertolt sit three tables away with another brother and his date, SNK senior Nanabe. He has no idea where Mikasa and Jean are, neither of them making their appearance yet. The second bus should have already arrived, so he expects they’ll be making their grand entrance soon. 

The venue continues to fill up, people situated in their seats, snacking on the appetizers. Most of the seniors are in line at the bar to purchase drinks, besides Levi, who is sober monitor. 

Eren takes swigs from his flask, letting the vodka continue to take its effects on his mind and body. He feels good. Relaxed. Tonight, there will be no drama, exactly the way he planned it. If he keeps consuming liquor, she’ll remain in the furthest corner of his mind. 

Still, the tiniest part of him misses her. But that’s what the alcohol is for. Forgetting. 

He sits facing away from the doorway, so when Petra’s face lights up and Levi smirks, saying, “Ah, finally,” Eren has to physically turn around to see who it is they are talking to.

As soon as he recognizes them, the heat from the liquor seems to rush straight out of his body, leaving him frozen in place.

~~~

The week leading up to Alpha Tau’s formal, you start scheming. The infuriating phone call with Eren was just the fuel you needed to get you fired up.

Every decent quality about him, from his undeniable sex appeal to the occasional loving gestures, has been forced into the most secluded crevices of your mind. Instead, you let all the crummy details about him surface. 

He took advantage of your naivety, knowing you were inexperienced and desperate for any form of affection. After he lured you in, he manipulated you into thinking you were special, that your many moonlight trysts with one another had to be kept a secret. As if it was so fucking romantic to keep you hidden away like his most prized possession when he was really trying to find more treasure elsewhere. 

Worst of all, he won’t let you go. He has to have you. String you along until it’s the right time for him to toss you aside once he grows tired of you. Until you become an overused and rejected toy withering away into the worst version of yourself, all while he replaces you with someone shinier and new. 

The only way to avoid that is to end it with him first. Officially and for good. 

No more empty promises, no more subtle blows to your confidence and self-worth. No more heartbreak. You won’t allow him to desecrate your fragile heart any longer. 

The easy route would be to have a private discussion about it. Maybe after the event, so you don’t ruin his fun weekend plans. But you don’t want it to be easy. You want it to be satisfying. Meaningful. You want it to hurt; not enough to mangle him, but just enough to leave a scar. If he ever becomes a better person later in life, he’ll always remember what he did to you, hopefully determined not to repeat the same mistakes. 

Your plan is set in motion. The first step is to get yourself at Alpha Tau’s formal. On Wednesday, Armin invites you and Mikasa over to the fraternity house to eat dinner. You sit with Mike at one of the tables. Mikasa, who wants you at formal for her own selfish reasons, and Armin sit beside you. You plan to bombard the senior to bring you. It’s a known fact that Mike goes stag to these dances, the reason being that he always gets too drunk to pay enough attention to whoever he’s taking. 

It doesn’t take much to convince him, though. You proposition him, explaining how much fun the two of you will have together, how you won’t mind if he gets blackout drunk. Even offering to take care of him if in the morning in case he has a hangover. 

“Okay. I’ll make an exception for you. By the way, breakfast burritos are my go-to hangover cure.”

You smile at him. “Noted.” 

“Do you think they’ll still let her go even though it’s past the deadline?” Armin asks.

“Erwin and Levi are my best friends. They’ll let me do anything, don’t worry. You will be my date this Saturday,” he emphasizes, winking. 

With step one complete, the next move is to make a grand entrance. 

Thursday afternoon, Mikasa, Annie, and Hitch accompany you to the mall to pick out your outfit. Your roommate suggests a red dress, similar to one that she’s planning to wear. Annie and Hitch, fully aware of your Eren situation, recommend a black, off-the-shoulder bodycon, coming down just past your knees. Complete with a side slit the runs up mid-thigh. A revenge dress. 

Out of the fitting room, Mikasa let’s out a low whistle. “Okay, forget I even suggested red because this is everything.”

“You look hot!” Hitch exclaims.

“It’s perfect,” Annie says. 

In it, you feel confident, beautiful, and most of all, powerful. You’re ready to pull the rug out from under him in one fell swoop.

Saturday arrives. At the hotel, you and Mike check into your single room. By the time you’re finished in the bathroom, you hear a soft knock on the door. Upon opening it, Mike, handsome and suave in his navy-blue suit, looks you up and down. “You look fucking amazing.”

You smile at him. “Thank you. So do you.” 

The two of you share this unspoken agreement to remain friends, maybe with a couple benefits here and there. However, your main focus tonight is to deal with Eren. 

“We better head to Erwin’s room now before I get any ideas.” Giving you one more look, he turns around to collect his bottle of Hennessy, waiting for you to slip into your heels. 

Down the hall, Erwin, Hange, Petra, and Levi share a room, where they host the pre-game. Mikasa and Jean eventually join, as well as some other seniors. The president and vice president leave first to set up downstairs, dragging their dates along with them. One by one, more people leave until it’s just you, Mike, Mikasa, and Jean. 

As it gets closer to dinnertime, you wobble towards the ballroom, tipsy and giggly from the cognac. Mike tries to hold you steady, but he’s no better off. You take a quick look at the seating chart, noting your assignment. Mikasa follows Jean to the other side of the room as you and Mike make your way to Table 3, finding it already mostly occupied. Petra and Levi, who you just saw, greet you with amused expressions on their faces.

It takes you a minute to register that Eren is seated at the same table, staring at you with wide eyes and a clenched jaw. This is not a part of your plan.

Regardless, this is going to be fun.

Avoiding his gaze, you and Mike occupy the empty seats between Pieck and Levi. You acknowledge your neighbor with a smile, who returns it. 

“I love your dress. You look so pretty!” you compliment her.

“Thank you. You look pretty, too.”

You continue to chat with Pieck, completely ignoring Eren, who is visibly uncomfortable beside her. 

You’re not exactly sure what the next step in your plan is yet. Once you made it to the dance, you figure you’d toy with him, flaunt your sexy black dress in his face until he’s drooling. And if you have the chance to catch him alone tonight, then you’d confront him, ending your relationship once and for all. But there’s no way to predict if that opportunity will ever come, considering how unlikely it is to get a moment alone together. Deciding to go with the flow, you try to relax, relishing the way Eren sneaks subtle glances at you. 

Dinner starts. Mike is already on his third drink from the bar, speech slurred, tie loosened. Definitely drunk. Levi attempts to slow him down by switching his cocktail with a glass of water, which works until Mike finally notices the difference. By the time the entrees are out, he gets up once more for another rum and coke.

For the first time all night, you hear Eren speak. “He’s fucking wasted.” There’s malice in his voice, clearly annoyed.

Levi shrugs. “He always does this at formals.”

Eren rolls his eyes. “It’s distracting.”

Petra chimes in. “Oh, he’s harmless.”

He stands up abruptly, rattling the table. “Whatever. I’m getting some punch.”

You wait a minute or two to make your move. “I’m going to get punch too. Anybody want anything?”

Pieck says, “I’d like some, please.”

“You got it. I’ll be right back.”

Eren is alone when you approach the refreshments table, opposite side of the room from where the bar is. He takes a sip from his punch before reaching into his pocket for a flask. He notices you as you pour two cups of punch for yourself and Pieck.

He looks around, making sure the coast is clear. “What are you doing here?” 

“Oh, so you’re actually speaking to me in public now?”

He ignores that, repeating, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m getting myself and your date punch, since you aren’t doing it yourself.”

Taking a deep breath, he mutters, “You know what I mean. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming here with Mike?”

“Why should I? You never told me that you were going to bring Pieck until after the fact. And as far as I know, we don’t have to tell each other anything. You’re not my boyfriend.”

He blinks at you, seemingly at a loss for words. You continue to glare at him, waiting for a response. 

After a couple of seconds, he murmurs, “This is different.”

“How?”

“I have no intentions of fucking Pieck. But Mike…I know he’s trying to fuck you.”

“Is that all I’m good for? Sex? Has it ever crossed your mind that Mike actually likes me?” Your composure is beginning to crack. 

“Come on, I see the way he looks at you. He’s a fucking skeeze,” he spits out.

“So what? At least he talks to me. Acknowledges my existence.”

He swallows hard, saying in a low voice, “That’s not fair.”

“Well, it’s the truth.”

You stare at one another, neither of you backing down. You’re tempted to tell him it’s over, that you want to end it with him. But it still doesn’t feel like the right time yet. Maybe you want it to hurt a little more.

As you turn around to walk back to the table, you hear him say, “You look beautiful, by the way. You are beautiful.”

Shit. You promised yourself you wouldn’t fall for his sweet talk. Every time he calls you that, your heart flutters. 

Without responding, you walk away from him and back to your seat, handing Pieck her punch. Mike is back in his chair, scarfing down his steak. A few minutes later, Eren sits down, clearing his throat nervously. Focused on the plate of food in front of you, his compliment replays in your head like lyrics to your favorite song. You grip your fork tightly, upset for wavering, trying to convince yourself that it doesn’t mean anything.

You eat your meal in peace, casually chatting with the others, except for Eren, who remains sullen and quiet. Dessert is served and there’s a couple of minutes for everyone to digest and socialize. Erwin makes a quick announcement, thanking all of the brothers for a great semester, despite last year’s scandal. He even gives a special shoutout to Sigma Nu Kappa for a successful partnership, helping them regain their well-received reputation. He signals to the DJ, who starts up the music again, formally opening up the dancefloor. 

“Let’s go,” Eren mumbles to Pieck. 

She has an excited expression on her face as she asks, “Are we going to dance?”

“No, we’re going to Reiner’s table. C’mon.”

Frowning, she follows him to where Reiner and Bertolt sit with their dates, looking bored and unenthused. 

Grinning at Mike, you yank his wrist, beckoning him to the dancefloor. He gives you a goofy smile and follows, joining your friends who already started dancing. More people surround you, creating a lively atmosphere as the music blares through the speakers. 

Mike dances behind you, sliding his hands around your waist to pull you in closer. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, the bold scent of liquor emanating from his warm breath. You feel the vibrations on your skin as he hums along to the song.

You place your hands over his, swinging your hips in rhythm to the music as he moves with you. You glance over to where Eren’s sits, sulking right alongside Reiner and Bertolt, their poor guests watching the rest of the crowd in envy. Once in a while, your eyes meet; you quickly look away to turn your attention back to Mike and the rest of your friends.

~~~

The last person Eren expects to see tonight is her. Yet, here she is, gorgeous and stunning, exactly like in his fantasies. She wears that dress as if it was tailored to her and only her. It’s perfection. 

Except for the fact that Mike is wrapped around her like a fucking snake. 

The universe has a funny way of messing with Eren. And rightfully so, considering what an asshole he’s been. Still, this form of punishment seems a little too cruel.

He watches from a distance as he slithers all over her, practically salivating on her, similar to a beast in the wild preparing for a feast. Eren’s skin crawls with rage and jealousy. 

“You’re not going to dance, are you?” he hears Sandra ask Reiner, who slouches lazily in his seat. 

“Nope.”

Rolling her eyes, she says, “Fine. I’m going to join Hitch and her friends then. You’re boring.”

“Whatever, have fun with those freaks,” he mumbles. 

Suddenly, Eren feels a tap on his shoulder, finding Pieck and Louise standing together with their purses in hand. “Louise and I are going back to campus. She’s not feeling well.”

He quickly turns around to look at Bertolt, who’s propped up on his elbow against the table, looking absolutely disinterested. 

Facing the girls again, he asks Pieck, “You have to go too?”

She nods. “Yeah, I don’t want her to go alone.”

“Are you coming back?”

“I don’t think so. Honestly, you’re not a fun person.”

Ouch. Her bluntness stings. Can he blame her, though? He’s not exactly a bundle of joy right now. 

“Anyways, our Uber is coming, so we’re just going to wait outside.” They walk towards the exit, leaving the three moody Alpha Tau brothers alone.

Eren leans back in his chair, defeated. He envisioned formal differently. In his imagination, he’s having fun with her as his date. He should be out there right now, not Mike. Dancing, smiling, and laughing around their friends. Happy and carefree together. Instead, he’s sitting in the corner, pretending to be too cool to have a good time.

It's his own fault. He refuses to admit it out loud, but he did let Reiner influence his decisions. Is he really that desperate to create a reputation for himself that won’t matter in a few years? Maybe even in a few months? At the rate he’s going, he’ll be known for being a dud anyways. It’s not like he was actively trying to be a fuck boy, considering he’s only ever wanted to be with her since they started. 

Besides, what’s so bad about dating a Sigma Nu Kappa? Reiner is the only one who seems to have an issue with it. On his big brother’s word alone, Eren has been convinced that dating an SNK girl is a disgrace. He didn’t even think to question it until now. There’s nothing wrong with them. Sure, Annie can be scary most of the time, but he recognizes how loyal she is to those she cares about. Mikasa has been his friend for years, and while she can be just as intense as he is, she loves her friends fiercely. 

And with her, he can’t think of any major flaws. To him, she’s beautiful, inside and out. 

He lays his head on the table, confused about his feelings, which are constantly in limbo. So much so that even he can’t keep up with himself. Again, he wonders why this is more difficult than it needs to be. Is he that afraid of falling in love?

From his peripheral, he notices her and Mike walk off the dancefloor. The senior heads straight to the bar while she exits the ballroom. Without thinking, Eren follows her from a distance. In the hotel lobby, he watches her make her way outside, probably to cool herself down after nearly an hour of dancing. 

He sinks into one of the couches, waiting for her to reappear. He wants a moment alone, just the two of them. Away from the crowd, uninterrupted by the music. Most of all, he wants to invite her to his room now that he has it all to himself. This is an opportunity he didn’t think he’d get at all today. He’ll regret it if he doesn’t take advantage of it. 

Once she’s back in the lobby, she heads down the hallway leading to the bathrooms. Giving him the opening he’s been wishing for all night.

~~~

After an hour of dancing, you feel yourself overheating from the constant movement and the heat radiating from the crowd. You and Mike decide to take a break. He leaves for the bar to take shots with Erwin and the other seniors. Sweat beading on your forehead, you make your way outside, in dire need for fresh air. Pieck and Louise are huddled, standing at the curb.

“Are you two leaving already?” you ask, waving your hand across your face like a fan, still burning up from all the dancing.

Pieck replies, “Yeah. Louise isn’t feeling well, so we’re going back.”

“Oh no! Are you alright? Do you need medicine or anything?”

Louise grins, answering, “Do you have a pill for someone dying of boredom? Because that’s what I need for Bertolt.”

Surprised and amused at her joke, you chuckle, “What do you mean?”

“He barely talks! Every time I try to start a conversation, he only gives me one-word answers. And he keeps ogling at Annie. That dude has it so bad for her, it’s sad.” 

“So you’re not really sick?”

“Of course not. I just needed an excuse to get us out of there.”

Laughing, you look over at Pieck. “How about you? Were you not having fun either?”

She shrugs, that same polite smile on her face. “Not really.”

“You should have joined us on the dancefloor!”

She laughs. “But how would I get out of spending the night in the same room as Eren? I figured it’s better to just bail completely.” She pauses, then says, “You know, he’s always staring at you.”

Surprised by her observation, you look at her, silently waiting for her to explain further. 

“It was just like at the Halloween party. Either he really hates you or he’s absolutely crazy about you. I’m guessing it’s the latter.”

You look down at the ground, flustered. “I don’t know about that.”

She leans in to nudge you gently in the arm. “It’s pretty obvious he’s got a thing for you. I even told him earlier today how I was surprised that he was taking me instead of you. His girlfriend.”

“I am not his girlfriend. I’m sure he told you that, too.”

“Yeah, he did. But he’s a dumb, immature boy. Of course he’s too proud to admit it.”

“I don’t think it’s pride that’s getting in his way. It’s his ego.” Fearing you revealed too much, you veer off. “Anyways, I’m sorry you two didn’t have a good time.”

“At least the food was good,” Louise comments. Her phone chimes. “Oh, our Uber is almost here. Tell Mikasa I say bye! I didn’t get a chance to tell her I’m leaving.”

“Will do. Have a safe ride home!” You bid them farewell then walk back into the lobby, the distinct thump of the bass resounding from the ballroom. Still feeling sticky with sweat, you head to the bathroom down an empty hallway to blot your face and touch up your makeup. 

As you exit, you notice Eren leaning against the wall, waiting for you. The two of you hold each other’s gaze for a few seconds before he suddenly takes you by the wrist and leads you farther into the hall, hidden behind a large plant. 

Back pressed to the wall, trapped by both his hands at either side of your head, you stare at him wide-eyed as he studies you with uneven breaths. You swallow hard, muttering his name.

One of his hands slide over your shoulder, fingertips tickling your skin gently until they’re at your wrist. He brings your hand up to his lips and scatters soft kisses in between your knuckles. 

“My date left, so I have the room all to myself. Room 324. Come by,” he whispers, kissing the inside of your wrist. “Please.” 

You feel your heart race and a familiar sensation fluttering below your belly as he continues to kiss you, green eyes peering at you longingly. 

“I’m with Mike,” you stutter, suddenly shy under his gaze.

“Well, if he’s too drunk to get it up, you know where to find me,” he teases, smiling into your skin. He drops your hand and cups your cheek, leaning in closer. “Can I kiss you?”

Every fiber of your being is screaming at you to refuse his advances. But one kiss wouldn’t hurt, right? You reach for the collar of his sweater and push your lips together. His tongue slips inside your mouth in an instant, eager for a taste.

You pull away from him. “Maybe I don’t want to see you later tonight.”

He flashes a cocky smirk. “Sure. Whatever you say.”

You’re tempted to kiss him once more. Instead, you push him off and walk away, heading back into the ballroom.

Mike is slouched onto Levi’s shoulder at your table. When Levi spots you, he yells out, “Oi, I think I’m going to bring him back to your room now. He’s pretty much passed out.”

You sit beside them, stroking Mike’s arm. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’s fine. Just piss drunk. Feel free to hang out here for a little while longer.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll help you,” you offer. “Just in case.”

“Alright. Let’s go.”

The two of you sling Mike’s arms over your shoulders, carrying him as he drags his feet languidly. Once you’re back inside your room, you and Levi carefully place him on the bed, where he shifts around until he’s snuggled with a pillow, grunting occasionally. Levi snorts, “Idiot.”

He looks to you and says, “Thanks for helping me. Sorry he’s like this.”

“No worries. I’m not mad. I should have expected this.”

Levi leaves, heading back as you sit at the edge of the bed, watching Mike snore noisily. You fill a glass of water and set it on the dresser beside him in case he needs to hydrate. You poke him with your finger, which only causes him to mumble something incoherent. To be fair, you were warned about this.

You hear your phone vibrate in your purse. There’s one new message:

Eren: I’m in my room now

Staring at the text, you contemplate your next move. This is the opportunity you were hoping for. A moment alone with Eren, a chance to fulfill what you need to do. Despite all the anger and resentment you harbor for him, there’s still a part of you that desires to be with him one last time.   

Letting your feet lead you to Room 324, you decide to give in to one more moment of weakness.

~~~

Eren sits at the end of the bed, staring at the text message he just sent, eagerly waiting for a response. Tapping his foot nervously, he checks his phone every five seconds to make sure he isn’t missing anything.

Ten grueling minutes pass and a gentle knock on the door stirs his insides. He takes a deep breath and opens the door, thrilled to see her, still in her sensual black dress that’s been tantalizing him all fucking night.

He pulls her into the room, double locking the door when it shuts. Squishing her adorable cheeks between his palms, he leans forward and kisses her hungrily, tongue licking her lips and grazing her teeth. Desperate to taste every bit of her that he’s been deprived of all week long.

They lie on the bed, him on top of her, his hands roaming her body starting from her neck down to her legs. Flirting with the seductive slit exposing her thighs. The dress is skintight, hugging every inch of her figure flawlessly. His cock is already hard beneath his slacks, and they haven’t even undressed yet. 

“Take my clothes off,” she breathes out, rolling to her side to show him the zipper. He obeys, marveling at her bare back as he splits the dress open. He trails kisses along the skin he uncovers. She slides the dress off at her shoulders, where he gives her a nibble, resulting in that cute giggle he loves hearing so much. 

“Don’t giggle like that with anyone else. Only me,” he demands, kissing her sloppily as he shoves her dress lower to reveal her breasts. He hovers over her, sucking at one of her nipples until it’s plump and taut between his lips. 

“Fuck,” she moans, squirming beneath him as she wiggles out of her dress completely. In record time, Eren strips off all of his clothes, leaving just his briefs, barely concealing his erection. 

“I’ve missed you,” he whispers, mouth surrounding her other tit as his fingers drift to her arousal, rubbing at the wet spot of her black lace panties. “I’ve missed this pretty pussy, too.” 

He slips his middle finger pass the fabric, collecting the slick from her entrance to rub onto her clit. Upon contact, her hips buck, begging for more of his touch. With a chuckle, he releases her nipple from his mouth to suck on a spot on her neck, hard enough to leave a mark. He buries his nose in the divot of her collarbone, inhaling her intoxicating, familiar scent.

“Can I taste you?” he asks, dying to quench his thirst, willing to drown in her arousal. 

She nods, fingers hooking the hem of her underwear to remove them. He slides them off her, eyeing her naked body greedily.

“Sit on my face. I want it to drip into my mouth.” 

She curses under her breath, scooting over for him to lie down. He can’t help but smile as she straddles him, gripping the headboard and slowly lowering her hips so her pussy is flush against his lips. 

“Don’t hold back, baby. Ride my face like you ride my cock.” With his hands on her hips, he sucks on her clit until she’s whining in pleasure, slick trickling out of her slit and onto his chin. 

She rocks back and forth, obeying his instructions like the good girl she’s always been. 

“Come all over my face, baby. Get that pussy really wet for my cock.”

Moaning, she ruts against him faster, his lips surrounding her as he flicks her clit with his tongue rapidly. Cum coats his mouth and chin. She carefully lifts herself off, kneeling besides him, eyes glazed over from her orgasm. 

Sitting up to face her, he caresses her cheek, pulling her in for a passionate kiss. He takes his time, appreciating her supple lips and the subtle contrast of his rough thumb brushing over the delicate skin of her cheekbone. He reaches down his briefs, sliding them off and tossing them to the floor. He strokes his cock, craving to feel her lush walls squeeze tightly around him. 

~~~

Eren breaks away, slightly out of breath, whispering, “Can you ride me? I want to see your face.” 

The words slip out of his mouth, smooth like butter, enticing as ever. You nod, granting his request. Knowing this will be the last time. 

He lies back down, gazing at you. You straddle his lap, rubbing your wet folds against him before you position your entrance at the tip of his dick. Without using your hands, you slide onto him, feeling the vibrations from his gravely moans reverberate through his chest. 

You ride him slowly, thrusting your ass onto his hard cock. He squeezes your hips, directing you to move faster. You resist, determined to set your own pace. For once, you’re in control, not him.

“Fuck, you’re so good. You’re so fucking good to me,” he chants as you grind onto his lap. You start moaning along with him, succumbing to the pleasure, leaning onto his chest, and listening to his racing heartbeat. He keeps one hand at your waist; the other at the nape of your neck, pulling you in closer.  

“God, you’re beautiful. I’m so lucky. I’m so fucking lucky,” he whispers to you, lips grazing your ear. You tilt your head up to meet his gaze.

“Kiss me,” he says, staring at you with soft eyes, yearning for you. 

You lean in to brush your lips against his, making him think everything is fine. Sending him to Cloud 9 so that he can crash down onto the cold, hard dirt once you’re through with him.

After a few minutes of fucking, he mutters, “I’m sorry.” 

The apology catches you off guard. He’s pulling every weapon out of his arsenal, his velvety words attempting to latch on to you like a leech. 

“I’m sorry about tonight. I’ll make it up to you, okay? I promise.”

You don’t respond. With your eyes shut, you continue to ride him, letting your second orgasm build up. 

He caresses your cheek again, thumb brushing the soft skin right below your eye. “Baby, please look at me.”

His expression is sincere; there’s warmth in the way he looks at you, affection in the small smile he displays. 

“I’m yours, okay? I’m all yours.”

You’re close. It’s almost over. He’s tugging at your heartstrings like he never has before. But this time, it’s not enough. You’re not falling for it anymore.

“I promise you; everything is going to be okay,” he whispers, kissing your forehead, voice trembling. 

He makes promises just as easily as he breaks them. You’ve lost trust in him completely. His words mean nothing. They no longer have this everlasting hold on you.

Still silent except for the soft whines that escape from your lips, you ride him faster, wanting to milk him for all he’s worth. Take advantage of him the way he has with you. 

“Fuck,” he groans, planting his feet onto the bed and moving his hips in rhythm with your thrusts. “You’re going to make me come, sweetie. Is that what you want?”

You nod into his neck, his hands now holding you in place as he starts pounding into your pussy relentlessly. 

“Okay, baby. I’ll give it to you. I’m all yours. All yours,” he repeats, fucking you until you reach your orgasm, letting the pleasure sweep through you. 

Soon after, he groans a drawn out, “Fuck,” as you feel his hot load fill you up. 

He holds you in his arms, no rush to let you go. Nose pressed into the top of your head, inhaling and exhaling deeply. You savor the steady cadence of his heartbeat, the rise and fall of his chest, the warmth of his skin. Letting yourself imagine only for a short moment that this is what could’ve been if it was any different with you two. Nostalgic for a relationship that never really existed to begin with. One that was doomed from the start.

Maybe you’ll meet again in another lifetime. One where it’s genuine. Painless. Easy.  

Just not this one. 

His arms loosen as soon as you initiate movement. You remain silent as you pick your dress off the floor and carry it with you into the bathroom. The knob turned all the way to hot, you wait as the heat from the shower fills the space with a steamy cloud. Stepping in carefully, you let the water rinse any cum and sweat from your body, erasing all traces of Eren. 

When you’re finally cleansed, you dry yourself with a towel and slip into your black dress. Studying your reflection in the mirror, you take a few deep breaths, preparing for your final act. 

~~~

Eren cannot stop smiling.

He’s lying on the bed, palms behind his head, arms splayed out to the sides. Cock glistening with cum. Sheets messy, pillows disheveled all from their love making. He’s in fucking paradise. Whenever they have sex, he always feels on top of the world. Totally and utterly elated. Soaring on Cloud 9. 

The best part is that it’s not Mike who she’ll be spending the rest of the night with. It’s him. Eren is the winner. He gets the prize.

It doesn’t even bother him how he uprooted his buried feelings for her. He’ll blame it on the alcohol, which has since dissipated from his bloodstream nearly an hour ago. Or he’ll blame it on being caught up in their fuck fest. Either way, it seems she’s no longer mad at him. He’s got everything under control.

Several minutes pass before she comes out of the bathroom, wearing her black dress. He stretches his arms out, beckoning her back into bed. “Come here, baby. Let’s cuddle.”

She leans down to collect her heels and purse from the floor. “I’m leaving.”

He grins at her odd joke. “Baby, stop kidding around. Come here.”

“I’m leaving,” she repeats. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

The smile fades, his brain slowly processing the words coming out of her mouth. “What? What are you talking about?”

“Eren, I’m ending this. It’s over. You and me. We’re done.”

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End Notes: We’re almost near the end y’all! Thank you for sticking with it! Also, thanks so much for all the comments, messages, likes, and reblogs. I can’t express into words how grateful I am for every single interaction this fic gets. It gives me LIFE! So much love for ALL of you. 💕

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[shownusgfayoooo]

A Significant Night

Pairing: Slytherin!Seonghwa x Ravenclaw! f! reader ft. Ravenclaw! bestfriend! Hongjoong

Summary: Set the night Sirius Black attempts to break into Gryffindor Tower in Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, but Y/N, HongJoong, and SeongHwa are 7th years, the 99 line is in 6th, and Jongho is in 5th year

T/W: perceived danger

Words: ~5k almost

A/N: I LOVE SIRIUS MORE THAN ANYTHING ik he's not a murderer but this is the point in the canon where we don't know that yet so that's the info that the characters (ateez and you) in this fic have to go off of ok

my masterlist

~~

The rain was especially thunderous tonight. You tossed restlessly your bed for the fifth time and stuffed another pillow above your head. Still, sleep was evading you. The water hit the window of your dorm in Ravenclaw tower like shards of ice, and the lighting that briefly illuminated the room cracked against the back of your eyelids in bright white flashes.

You had barely managed to slip into some halfway place between consciousness and unconsciousness when raised voices could be heard from the common room, five flights below you. The sudden unexpectedness of people talking so loud at 1 in the morning set your heart racing, but you tried to ignore it. This became impossible however when the sounds of footsteps started echoing down the stairs and doors opening up and down the tower woke you up completely.

Your friend Hongjoong grumbled some gibberish and turned over one of the four empty beds in your dorm. You were lucky enough to only have two roommates this semester, making only three girls to the dorm that could house five, but one of them had snuck into the Hufflepuff dorms to stay with her boyfriend like she usually did and the other had gone home for the weekend due to some family emergency.

You didn’t mind him crashing because Hongjoong was the ideal roommate. He was usually in the library all night, and whenever he was actually in the room, he was mostly organized and quiet. It wasn’t allowed of course, so the rule breaking aspect of the whole situation did stress you out sometimes, but honestly, Hongjoong was smart enough to not be caught, and by extension, he was smart enough to not get you caught either. Hell, he had even managed to counteract the charm that made the stairs turn into a slide whenever a boy tried to climb them. It still made you laugh when you thought about the reason why he had been pushed to break a thousand-year-old enchantment like it was child’s play. Usually, he had his best friend Seonghwa from Slytherin give him a broom ride up to Gryffindor Tower to crash with San and Wooyoung Seonghwa and Jongho absolutely refused to put up with Hongjoong’s manic hours and general chaos, and Yeosang, Mingi, and Yunho in Hufflepuff always felt a little bit too far out of the way to your friend. But, Gryffindor had beat Slytherin in Quidditch two weeks ago, and ever since then, Seonghwa had refused to take Hongjoong up, lest he suffer more of San and Wooyoung’s bullying. You had the whole room to yourself most of the time, so you were quick to oblige your best friend. Catching a glimpse of Seonghwa on the few occasions he would bring Hongjoong up before he broke the charm that impeded his entry into the Tower was also the highlight of your life.

Hongjoong barely slept, but when he did, it was like the dead. You tossed him a worried glance as the voices outside got louder, before quickly rushing to the door and peeping your head out. You looked about in bewilderment as everyone from the girls’ tower seemed to be leaving their rooms.

“What’s going on?” Nobody seemed to have an answer, “I have no idea,” “Can’t be anything good this time of night,” “I hope we’re not in danger? Quick, let’s run through some defensive spells just to be on our toes-” You turned to the left to see the prefect was making her way back up the stairs against the throng of traffic moving down. “Everyone, please make their way to the common room! No running, please. Stay calm. I’m just making sure we didn’t miss anybody; please continue to the common room. Professor Flitwick will be here in a few minutes to explain what’s going on!”

Your heart started to pound again, as you rushed back into your room. Why would she tell everyone to stay calm unless there was a very real reason to panic? You threw Hongjoong’s discarded niffler plush at his head as you rushed to put on some shoes. He gasped, sitting up. “What was that for?” He was glaring at you, pushing hair out of her eyes.

“Get up; we have to go, right now.” His eyes fully opened at the restrained tension in your voice. He turned to the door to see the rest of your Housemates rushing past and quickly got up. “I assume the situation at hand is not us getting in trouble for breaking some antiquated patriarchal rules,” he smiled at you weakly, trying to ease the tension.

“No,” you responded wryly. “I really don’t think they’d evacuate all the Ravenclaw girls to give them a lecture about you and I breaking one teeny tiny rule. That everyone breaks anyways!” You had joined the throng going down the stairs as you finished your sentence, sounding almost hysterical. Hongjoong just linked his elbow through yours, as his eyes flashed with worry but also to keep a hold of you in the crowd. It wasn’t just the girls that had been rushed out of bed, you saw, as you ducked under the archway into the common room, only to see it full of boys. Everyone was lining up by year, and you saw Hongjoong nod to his roommates (Snore #1 and Snore #2 you called them in your head) who had been looking worried at not having been able to account for him. Just at that moment, the door to the Tower opened. A hush descended over the crowd.

“Ah, hello students, I apologize for the interruption this evening, or should I say morning?” Weak chuckles answered his question. Usually, you were all a very inquisitive bunch, but everyone could sense that something was significantly amiss, and that this was a time to listen, not ask. His squeaky voice and short stature should have logically done nothing to put your mind at ease a bit, but it did. The presence of an adult and a very talented wizard at that, a professor who was supposed to and did protect his students, calmed your heart down a little.

“Don’t be alarmed, but please be cautious and take what I am about to say seriously. We have reason to believe that Sirius Black entered the castle tonight. He attempted to break into Gryffindor Tower but was unsuccessful. Nobody was hurt, but he remains at large. We have Aurors and Professors alike investigating the Castle, floor by floor. We are also relocating all students to the Great Hall for the time being. Myself, and a few Aurors waiting outside, will escort you through there now. I implore you to remain calm and quiet. Please arrange yourselves with years below you at the center of the crowd and line, alright? You are safe with us, but wands out.”

You looked at Hongjoong, panic full blown on your face. You were both in Year 7, so it fell to you to take up the periphery of Ravenclaw House as you made your way to the Great Hall. He nodded at you in reassurance but kept his grip on your hand tight.

As everyone arranged themselves to make an exit from the Tower, you gave into your anxiety. “I’m really worried about the guys, Joong. What if something happened to them? What if they’re not okay?”

“Relax, Y/N. Flitwick just said that nobody was hurt. I’m sure they’re fine.”

“What if they didn’t evacuate everyone? What if they missed someone?”

“You saw the measures they’re taking. They wouldn’t have missed anyone. Don’t worry.”

You bit your lip. “What about the Slytherins? You know the undue prejudice they deal with. You know it. Just two years ago, they told them to go BACK to their House which is in the dungeons when there was a troll. A living, breathing troll! In. the. dungeons.”

Hongjoong’s features softened on his face, finally understanding where your unusual irrationality was stemming from when you were usually the calm and collected one out of the group. He squeezed your shoulder. “Seonghwa will be fine, Y/N.”

“What- why, I mean-” you spluttered. The panic was blurring your logic and your normal tendency to be secretive or aloof, especially about your feelings. How did Hongjoong know about you and Seonghwa? Or was the better question how much he knew about you and Seonghwa? You had both harbored feelings for each other for a long time but had only just confessed and become a couple. It was still so new, but the friendship wasn’t. And because you didn’t want to jeopardize your friendships with the group, you had been keeping it a secret until you both felt more comfortable to share and that you were on stable ground.

“You know he can take care of himself. He’s gonna be fine. I bet you Trelawney’s hat that he’s already in the Great Hall, practicing that little charm he invented to make his moss grow faster.”

Your breath came easier at the imagery. “You sure?”

“Positive.” He gave you another reassuring pat on the back as you both turned to face forward as Flitwick called for the Tower doors to be opened.

You took in a deep breath to prepare yourself to protect yourself, your friends, and the younger kids of your House as you stepped out into the castle. It was eerily quiet and immensely dark. The only sound that could be heard was the breathing of several dozens of students and the scuffling of shoes on stone. Even the portraits were quiet as you made your way through the castle. You held your body rigidly, looking for danger at every corner, in every sound.

When you finally reached the Great Hall, all the energy sagged out of your body, and you felt so drained that you couldn’t even carry the squashy purple sleeping bags Madame Pomfrey was handing out. Hongjoong grabbed both of yours and started to steer you further into the room. You didn’t even notice because you were counting everyone who was in the room. It made you feel safer, especially when you saw that there had to be at least three dozen Aurors guarding the students and room alone, along with most of the Professors, not to mention the rest of the upper years who also had if not a vast then adequate knowledge of magic.

“Noona!”

Your attention suddenly came back to your immediate surrounding as you were suddenly hugged. You gasped and lightly laughed at the head of red hair that was currently grabbing you.

“Hey, Wooyoung. You ok?” Your gaze landed past his shoulder you were patting to see the rest of your friends gathered, looking worried but otherwise unhurt. You barely had time to let your eyes scan over Seonghwa who was lingering at the back of the half circle you all had formed under the window. Because you couldn’t see him properly or disentangle yourself, you asked, “Everyone ok?” Yunho nodded at your question as Wooyoung not only refused to let go of you, but also dragged San and Yeosang into the hug, too. It was doing wonders for your nerves, so you couldn’t complain.

“Yeah, we’re all okay.”

“We were worried because your House took the longest to get down here. We were first obviously, but we were hoping it was just taking that long because your Tower is the farthest from here,” Mingi added.

“And not because something bad happened to you!” San wailed. His head was nestled firmly into the crook of your neck, despite being a whole head taller than you.

Hongjoong took his chance to swat him off of you. “Ya, what would happen to us? Between me and Y/N, we have at least half the library memorized and the whole curriculum down pat, especially Defense against the Dark Arts.”

Jongho clenched his fists in his hand menacingly, “Well, we could have come for you if you weren’t gonna show in the next ten minutes.”

Hongjoong cooed at him, “Really? Aw, my baby. You’re my favorite.”

Jongho started him dead in the face, “Just for noona. Not you. Have your duel with a mass murder. I think you’d do great, you know, with your Hogwarts level education. Maybe we should let the Aurors go home because Hongjoong Hyung read some books in the library!”

You laughed as everyone started bickering, feeling even more tension release from your chest at being together with everyone. As you did, you made eye contact with Seonghwa. His eyes were smoldering. He pushed off from where he was leaning against the wall behind Mingi and Yunho to come stand next to you. His eyes stayed on the squabble that was starting to brew between Hongjoong San and Jongho, as Wooyoung stirred the pot gleefully. His fingers brushed against yours. A pinky to yours.

“Are you alright?” His voice was a deep whisper, strife with the worry.

You looked down at your toes, pale blue nail polish peeking out from your bunny slippers. “Yes, are you?”

He turned to look at you. He looked at you, so earnestly it brought tears to your eyes. It stirred everything in your heart. It seemed as if he was asking questions with his eyes and trying to pick out the answers from yours. So many emotions flitted across his face that you could barely keep up. Worry, despair, fear, hurt, care, relief, affection, maybe even love. The loud sounds of the room lowered to a din as blood rushed to your head, roaring in your ears and flooding your cheeks. His hand raised, seeming to come up to almost brush against your cheek before he dropped it again as a Sonorous enhanced voice started echoing around the room. The chatter of hundreds of students immediately dropped to a hush.

Professor Dumbledore stood near the doors of the Great Hall which were now barred and warded. “Good evening to all! We find ourselves in a situation strife with high energies and excitement. Trust that you are in safe hands and that we will soon make the whole of the Castle just so, as well! I know the adrenaline must be pumping through your bodies right now at the hasty retreat and thought of a break in to the castle. You must also be wanting to check on the welfare of your friends. For that, we will allow another half hour of free time before its lights out and to bed with all of you! No need to segregate by House or gender, but please behave appropriately! The professors will be patrolling through the Hall until dawn when we will release you back to your dormitories and the Aurors will be guarding the doors from inside and out! I thank you for your cooperation! It’ll be points and detention if you fail to adhere to these rules and impede everyone’s safety in any way!”

“I wonder if the old bat even knows what the word expulsion means,” Hongjoong mused.

You turned to him, aghast. He knew better than to voice such opinions in such a public place! “Ya!”

He shrugged. “You know we’re all thinking it.”

Jongho nodded, “Yeah, if someone opened the doors to the castle tonight to let Black in, or left the room right now to go coordinate with him, they’d just get points off? Please.”

You scrunched your nose. It wasn’t the first time you had all discussed the hypocrisy, inadequacy, and flat-out discrimination that the people in authority had displayed on many occasions, but it seemed more out of place to add that kind of commentary to an already tension-fraught situation and such a long night. As if Seonghwa could read your mind, he replied, “Let’s just talk about it later, guys. Now’s hardly the time, let alone the place.”

Everyone nodded and turned to start setting up their sleeping mats. You watched them go about in a daze, still overwhelmed from all that had happened and all the many conversations flowing around you right now. You didn’t even notice that Seonghwa had left your side; you only noticed when he came back to it.

“Hey, Y/N. What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, noticing everyone else had already sat down on their mats and started playing a game of Exploding Snap. They were so engrossed in their game; they noticed nothing else.

Seonghwa leaned his head down so he could be at eye level with you. His eyebrows were raised, waiting for your answer. You smiled weakly at him. “Oh, nothing…wow, the guys set everything up so fast, I don’t even know where my sleeping bag went.” You made to push past him when he caught your arm lightly with his hand.

He indicated with his head at the end of the row where two empty sleeping bags could be seen just beyond Yeosang was sitting. “Relax, I already put yours out.”

You blushed at the thought of lying down next to him. And the fact that his hand was on you right now. You felt hot all over. Could he feel it?

“Thank you! You didn’t have to. I don’t know where my head is at, honestly.”

His hand on your forearm slipped down to hold your hand. Your heart spluttered in your chest. “It’s okay. It’s been a stressful night.” His brown eyes bore deep into yours, knowing everything that you were feeling but not saying.

You nodded, the feeling of danger and the worry for everyone’s wellbeing rushed back to you. You looked up at him, tears in your eyes. “Yea, it was really scary.”

His finger brushed at the single tear trapped in your eyelashes. “I know. But we’re here. We’re okay. You’re safe.”

Whatever little control you had been struggling to maintain over your stress was lost. Your feelings burst through, and your tears started to fall in earnest. “I was just so scared,” you blubbered. “That something had happened to you. Any of you, but, you down in the dungeons- You were so far away from me- I .. I couldn’t get to you-”

He pulled you into his arms quickly and tucked your head against his shoulder. “I wouldn’t let anything happen to me, ok? Just for your sake. And I wouldn’t let anything happen to you either. I will always protect you. And I will always come for you. You’re safe with me, ok? Don’t be afraid anymore.”

You just nodded and cried against his chest, hoping no one would notice. “You know why Dumbledore threatened points and detention for disobedience?”

You pulled back to look him in the face, both his hands and yours coming up to wipe your tears. “No, why?”

He smirked at you. “It’s because I already tried breaking the rules tonight.”

You gasped in horror. “What did you do?”

He shrugged, smirk still on his lips. “I said I would come for you, didn’t I? I wasn’t lying. I did actually try to come to you. Twice. The first time I just snuck away from the common room right before we were to be escorted out by Snape. I tried to run up to the Tower, but an Auror caught me and took me back to Slytherin before I barely made it 20 yards. Then, I went back to my room to grab my broom and fly to you, but that damn Mrs. Norris blocked me when I tried to escape and started mewing up a racket. So, Snape just kept me at his flank and forced me here.” He smiled at you sheepishly now. “Sorry.”

You stared at him in shock. How could he say sorry? “Don’t you ever ever put yourself in danger for me, Hwa. Please. I mean it.”

His eyes hardened, but his tone was still soft. “Don’t ask that of me, Y/N.” He put his forehead against yours, his arms tightening around your waist. “Please don’t ask me for promises I can’t keep. I will never let harm come to you if I can prevent it. I will never stand by and let you be in danger if I could take you out of it. I will always come for you,” he whispered.

You sighed, sinking further into his embrace. You really couldn’t sway him when he set his mind or heart on something, and honestly, you felt the same. It would be hypocritical of you to ask him for this. “Ok, ok. But, please don’t let me worry then. Promise me you will always be careful. I don’t want to see you hurt either.”

You could hear the smile in his voice as he answered. “Yes, ma’am. Whatever you want.”

“Ya, you two are really pushing old Dumbley’s rule on appropriate behavior.”

You jumped apart to see all the guys looking at you, with expressions varying from deadpan (Hongjoong and Yeosang) to too smiley (Jongho, Yunho, and Mingi) to borderline maniacal smiley (San and Wooyoung).

“You better knock it off before we all in trouble, hyung. Or worse- separated!” Mingi turned in horror to Yunho, as if they weren’t both in Hufflepuff and roommates for the past six years.

“NO! I wanna sleep with Hongjoong Hyung. We haven’t had a sleepover in ages.” San pouted.

“And why do you think that is?”

“Don’t punish me for Wooyoungie’s behavior!”

“Hey, you know you love it.” Wooyoung proceeded to drape himself all over the Ravenclaw, and you started laughing as yet another squabble broke out as he attempted to push the Gryffindor off. How WooSan still had energy in the middle of the night to harass Joong, you would never know. You turned to Seonghwa, the laughter still on your lips, to see him looking at you with a more open expression than he had all night.

“There’s that smile.” His thumb was at the corner of your lip. “I was worried when I didn’t see it.”

You smiled at him even more fully. If he had the presence of mind to flirt with you right now, then surely you weren’t in that much danger. And even if you were, he was here to storm it together with you. You let out a big breath as the last of the tension left your body. “I’m sorry,” you intertwined your fingers with his and he pulled you to where your sleeping mats were. “Won’t happen again.”

And it wouldn’t. You had faced real danger tonight. For the first time, but perhaps not for the last. You knew there were Dark Wizards and that the world was a cruel place, but you would never let your fear paralyze you again. You had strong people at your side to carry you through it, like Honjoong and Seonghwa had tonight, and you could draw strength from theirs, just like you were doing right now from their company and comfort and overzealous hugs.

Seonghwa smiled at you. You felt like he could read your mind, but in reality, he just saw the look of fear melt off your face to be replaced with one of confidence and determination. He couldn’t help himself; he leaned in and placed a sweet kiss on your lips. You kissed him back in earnest, the relief surging through your body almost making you euphoric. Everyone you loved was safe, and there were people you could count on in times of danger. As Seonghwa’s hand twisted in your hair, obnoxious coughing and whistles broke your reverie. You broke apart in surprise to turn to the guys.

Nobody looked particularly surprised, but they had just seen two of their best friends almost make out in front of them for the first time. They deserved an explanation, or an announcement at least. Seonghwa squeezed his hand in yours, and even though you had no idea what to say, you opened your mouth to start somewhere, when Wooyoung interrupted you.

“Save it; we already know.”

You shut your mouth again and looked at them all, head cocked to the side in confusion. “You.. already know?”

At this, San laughed. “Please, do you think we’re stupid?”

Seonghwa sighed, mockingly, “Well-”

“Hey!” “Please! You two have been so obviously in love with each other for years, it was sickening,” Mingi said.

“I thought it was sweet!” Yeosang was your favorite, and here was the reason.

“You know what’s not sweet? Having to hear both of your best friends pining over each other nonstop. For years. I haven’t caught a break since basically the day we were sorted!”

You blushed and peeked a glance at Seonghwa who you were surprised to see was acting shy and raising his fist towards Hongjoong in tiny. You two hadn’t had that conversation yet where you shared when you had started liking the other, partly because you were embarrassed to share the true longevity of your crush. You could barely believe Hwa liked you back- you couldn’t even imagine that he had liked you as long as you had liked him! It warmed your heart though that it had been the same for the both of you.

“No, but seriously,” Jongho piped up, eyes not straying from the game he was still playing with Yunho. “You guys are so obvious. We were just waiting for it to happen.”

“Yeah, we had a bet going and everything,” Yunho added.

“Oh, speaking of, can you tell us your first official day as a couple? I’ve got 10 Galleons riding on this,” Yeosang said.

“You what?”

“Wow, only 10?”

You and Seonghwa turned to each other, mock outraged over two totally separate things. You pursed your lips at him, and he raised his brow before you both burst into laughter. You two had been worrying about how to break the news for seemingly nothing. It wasn’t awkward and the dynamic hadn’t changed one bit with everyone knowing.

You both seeed to have the same realization at the same time. The contentment in his eyes mirrored your own. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, and you leaned into him, more at peace than you had felt in a long time. It was ironic because there was a literal mass murderer likely still on the loose in the very building you and all your loved ones were in, but you felt more secure in yourself and your relationships than you ever had.

It was at that moment that the lights went out and the professors started herding people to their makeshift beds. You joined everyone else and laid yourself down into your sleeping bag. You were so exhausted that you didn’t even have the energy to be embarrassed at the heat of Seonghwa’s body laying right next to you. His hand found yours, and you smiled, staring at the stars of the Scottish Highlands reflected in the ceiling of the Great Hall above you.

Hongjoong was already face down in his bed on your other side. You were just about to lose the fight with sleep when he whispered your name.

You opened your eyes and turned to him. “What?”

He smiled lightly at you. “I just wanted to say I’m really happy for you. For both of you. Congrats.”

You pressed your lips together and pouted at him. “Thanks Joongie.”

He smiled back and shifted to his side before adding in a louder whisper that could carry across to both of you. “And you better not hurt each other. I expect you to take care of each other and be in love and happy together forever, ok?”

Seonghwa chuckled lightly, “Yes, Dad.”

“Ok, ok. That’s all I had to say,” the rest of the guys were giggling when he added in a harsher tone, “Goodnight, everyone!”

All the boys sleepily wished the same. Ten minutes later when everyone’s breaths had evened out in slumber, your thoughts were still rattling around in your head. Joong thought you would last forever, and your boyfriend hadn’t refuted it or been embarrassed. Did he feel as deeply for you as you did him? Not to mention the thought of Hwa’s husky chuckle was still sending shivers down your spine, before they transformed into lightning bolts as he suddenly wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you to his chest.

Your heartbeat spluttered before you could ask him in a choked whisper, “Ya, what are you doing?”

His eyes stayed closed, and he replied calmly. “Getting some sleep. You should, too.”

You could feel the blush emanating from your face and warming the scant space between you. You stared at the line of this throat, inches from your nose, wondering if you should be embarrassed or give into the comfort of his arms. Even though you two had never done anything like this, you couldn’t deny that it felt so right. It felt like home. Your brain wanted to react uncomfortably just because it was something new, but your heart was already calm, and the rest of your body was following as you melted into his heavenly embrace.

His arm at your back rubbed up and down twice before stilling around your waist as his other hand came to cradle your head. “There, just relax, my love. I’m right here, and you’re safe with me.”

You hummed blissfully against his heart. “Thanks, you too, Hwa.” Your words came out jumbled as sleep finally crashed over you.

“Sleep well, Y/N.”

A press of his lips at your hairline was the last thing you remembered from one of the most significant nights of your life.

[timetoletmyimaginationfly]

Mission: Cupid

Nanami Kento x Reader ft. Gojo Satoru

(Song Inspiration: Cupid by Fifty Fifty)

Gojo continued to peer at Nanami. Every time the man heard Nanami pick his phone up, he couldn’t help but peep at the blonde man. He was curious and nosy. The soft gaze Nanami has on his phone along with the smile and quiet chuckles gave him a load of curiosity.

“Who are you talking to?” Gojo asked excitedly. Nanami’s expression changed to a blank one. Nanami picked up his newspaper and started to read. “Tell me tell me tell me!”

“No.” Gojo pouted. Nanami’s phone lit up again and Gojo took advantage of his speed to pick the phone up. “Hey!”

“You talk to her?” Gojo asked. Nanami sighed.

“Yes, but just as friends.” Gojo scoffed, believing that Nanami was just saying it lightly. Nanami knew what he thought. He placed his paper down with a sigh. “If you’re nosy, ask her herself.”

“She doesn’t like to tell me things!”

“I don’t either.”

“Both of you are definitely perfect for each other. I don’t understand why you don’t go out with her.”

“She had a boyfriend.” Gojo smirked and playfully chuckled.

“Ahhh so she had a boyfriend. And now she’s single.” Nanami stood up.

“I’m going to a quieter place,” he said and left the room. After Gojo was sure that Nanami was gone, he left the building to find you. You were outside in the training area, watching Kugisaki and Maki fight.

“Quit getting overconfident Kugisaki!” you yelled. “Alright! Take a break.” You turned around and found Gojo. You smiled and waved at him. “What brings you here?”

“Just roaming around,” Gojo answered. You raised an eyebrow at him. He looked sus. “So you’re single now?”

“Yeah? Did Kento-kun tell you?” you asked curiously.

“Kento-kun? Are you guys dating?” He watched your face turn red. He got what he wanted.

“We’re just friends!” you yelled. Gojo laughed and patted your head. You crossed your arms.

“Whatever you say,” he sang lightly. You sighed and looked at your watch. You turned back to the two students.

“Ready?”

Gojo walked around the school building. He was hoping to find Nanami. After going out shopping a few days ago, he felt like intervening in yours and Nanami’s relationship. He noticed the two of you sitting together in a cafe to eat. He watched Nanami open the car door for you. Nanami would you pull you in the inside of the sidewalk. It was bothering him to no end.

“We’re just friends,” the both of you would answer Gojo.

So this time, Gojo took the perfect opportunity to get you alone. You were reading your book while eating your lunch. Gojo made sure Nanami was on a mission. An easy one because he’s pretty sure that his dear friend would want to return to you.

“Where’s Nanamin?” Gojo asked as he walked closer to you. You bookmarked your book before turning to him.

“He told me he got pulled to a last minute mission,” you answered. “I was going to go but they said they just wanted him? It was weird.”

“Oh I told them that,” Gojo said. You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Why?” Gojo leaned in closer to you.

“I’m planning something,” he said, still remaining in close proximity to you. “He should be returning right about now anyway.”

“How would you know?”

“It’s a mission perfect for students in training.”

“Then what the hell are trying to do?!”

“Trying to get Nanami to confess to you.” You suddenly relaxed and felt yourself blush.

“Y-Y-You…get away from me!” You pushed him away and crossed your arms as you turned away from the laughing sorcerer. You suddenly heard Nanami’s voice. You looked up and watched him run up to you.

“Are you okay?” he asked worriedly. You nodded in response. Nanami sighed irritably when he looked at Gojo. “What are you trying to do?”

“I was hoping you’d get jealous and confess your love for her. Or feelings. Whatever it is you have for her,” Gojo nonchalantly answered.

“You really have nothing else to do right now, huh?”

“Not at all, dear Nanami. Alright, I think my mission is complete. See you guys.” Gojo hid by the tree, curious to what you guys will do now. He could tell that you and Nanami felt awkward now. He just wanted to laugh out loud.

“You’re craving udon right?” Nanami asked. You nodded. “I know a good restaurant. It could be our first official date.”

“I would love that, Kento-kun.”

Now Gojo’s mission is complete.

[lfghughes]

Half My Fault

a/n: hahaha why am i such a simp for these kind of storylines. Also thank you to the anon who requested this. Peep that John ft though, i had to

You had met Nico years ago through a mutual friend and by that you meant you had dated one of his friends. You were all in the same friend group and over the years you had become close to Nico, he had been someone you had come to trust and he genuinely became one of your friends. When you and your boyfriend ended up splitting it rocked the friend group, many of them choosing him in the break up but Nico didn’t play that game. He continued being friends with him but also you.

Your friendship with each other had only grown after that, now you two were spending a lot of time on your own versus being in a group. Then one night things had escalated slightly to a point where you realized there were shared feelings. What you didn’t want was for Nico to lose his friendship with his friend because of this and he also was conflicted about the whole situation so you both decided it was better to remain as friends.

Even though this was decided everyone still thought there was something more there with the way you two acted. You never crossed the line with one another but you were both affectionate. His hand usually finding your lower back when he was walking through crowds with you. Snuggling on your couch or his while watching a movie. But there were never any more kisses or anything past just that.

It worked but slowly over the past few weeks you had noticed Nico distancing himself a little bit and before one of his games you came to learn why. He had stopped by your place after his practice and invited you to his game later. “By the way, I’ve been seeing someone. She’s going to be there tonight too. It’s her first time but I figured you could kind of hang out and show her around so she doesn’t get too overwhelmed.” You smiled and nodded your head at him but there was a dull pain in your heart from his words.

Nico had gotten you both seats close to the tunnel they came out of and you were trying your best in talking to the girl he had been seeing but it was hard. You knew you had no right to be upset or jealous but you were. The game came and went and you were proud of your best friend for playing a good, so much so that he won first star of the night but you saw the way he looked up at her. The way he winked at her as he walked out to the ice and you were sick to your stomach.

Yet you still held yourself together as you showed her where he would be after the game. You felt like you were out of your body, just wanting to be home so you could cry about all of it but you needed to act normal. When Nico came out, he hugged you and then moved on to her before you all walked outside to the parking lot. His arm remained around her as you watched all the little things he did so naturally. The way he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, the way he smiled down at her.

“Hey, we’re all going out for some drinks, want to come? You can ride with us.” Nico told you, turning around to look at you but you shook your head. “It’s kind of late, I’m tired so I’m going to go home.” Before he could try to convince you otherwise you started walking the opposite way back to your car. You were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn’t even see Marino until you crashed into him. “Oh sorry..” You started and he shook off your apology. “It’s okay.” John told you and then his eyebrows furrowed a little. “Are you not going with Nico? We’re all going out.” 

“I don’t feel good, I just need to get home.” A look of concern passed his face as he pointed back at his car. “I can drive you home real quick if you want.” You shook your head at his offer “I have my car it’s fine.” But he was clearly worried about you and wouldn’t drop it. “I can pick you up tomorrow and come get it with you but I don’t think you should drive home if you’re not feeling good. Trust me, I’ll hate if I let you go and something happens.” 

You ended up agreeing with him because you were barely thinking already and so maybe this was the safest option. He dropped you off at your place and you immediately curled up on the couch in the comfort of all your blankets. A hour had probably passed since John had dropped you off when you heard the doorbell ring. Checking your camera because it was late you saw that it was just Nico so you went and opened the door. “What are you doing here?” You asked and he looked at you like it was a ridiculous question.

“You told me you were tired but John told me at the bar he drove you home because you weren’t feeling good. He said he was really worried about you. What happened?” Of course John had expressed his concern, why wouldn’t he? “It’s nothing. I just didn’t drink a lot of water.” Nico knew these were all excuses and he showed it clearly on his face. “This is because I’m seeing someone, isn’t?” Silence was all he got from you.

“That’s not fair, you decided we shouldn’t be something more and you can’t get upset when I find someone.” You held up your hand, stopping him from going on. “We decided not me.” Last you had checked this was something he had agreed to. “I agreed with you because it’s what you wanted but I could care less about what he thinks of me because I’m in love with you.” Silence filled the air between you again, shock at his words.

You closed the space off between the two of you and pressed your lips to his, his hands going to the sides of your face and holding you there. The kiss proving everything he just said and so much more. This felt right, more right than you could have imagined. You pulled away slightly, looking at him. “What about the girl from tonight?” You asked and he scratched the back of his head. “The minute John said something was wrong I went back to her and broke things off. She’s not you.”

[swissboyhisch]

Summer

Liked by y/nhughes, tzegras and others

elhughes: all my kids back together (ft. the non-biologicals) tagged: quinnhughes, y/nhughes, jackhughes and lhughes

view all comments

colecaufield: glad to be back mama hughes

y/nhughes: Love you mama bear 💕

elhughes: Love you too baby bear ❤️

yourbestie: one minute you've moved to NJ then you come back to Mich for the summer. Bruh 😒

y/nhughes: bro you're literally here with me. Don't complain too much

jackhughes: there is always something to complain about when it comes to you to being together

colecaufield: jackhughes I'd being sleeping with one eye open over the summer buddy 🫣

lhughes: Q with the ugly-ass glasses. Matches him perfectly

jimhughes: Why did they all have to come

y/nhughes: you love usssss 🥰

Likes by canucks, eliaspettersson and others

quinnhughes: Double Trouble back together 😈 tagged: y/nhughes

view all comments

y/nhughes: look out Mich 💅����

yourbestie: God you're hot

y/nhughes: I need you to clarify which twin you're talking about please. And you better pray to god you answer correctly 👏🏻

user: Quinn is looking fineeeee

user: Can't she just go to Vancouver after the summer. I don't want Huggy alone 🥺

bradytkachuk: Chill Bonnie and Clyde

user: I don't think Brady knows his true crime

y/nhughes: Em hasn't taught you that well it seems bradytkachuk. Do some research next time please 🫢

lhughes: where is my photo creds?

quinnhughes: 🤠

user: y/nhughes is actually so cute

Likes by yourbestie, nicohischier and others

y/nhughes: \\Summer 23//

view all comments

yourbestie: Peep that last pic. Soft launching 🙄

y/nhughes: still single babyyyy

yourbestie: not for long 👀

quinnhughes: wtf is going on here?!

tzegras: that's a lovely picture of me you posted

user: Is that Trevor, Jack and Cole?!

y/nhughes: Indeed. Drunk beach walks are fun!

user: I see why Quinn and Jack call y/n the menace

lhughes: Why does no-one in this family give me photo cred?!

y/nhughes: clout chaser 🙄

lhughes: uh you literally have less followers than me

y/nhughes: check again moosey. The devs post boosted me just a tad

user: that it did 💅🏻

Likes by jackhughes, y/nhughes and others

nicohischier: Off-season is finally here ☀️

view all comments

jackhughes: worked hard now hardly working

nicohischier: still working out though

y/nhughes: nerdddd 🤓

user: thank you for gifting us this picture

user: who took it though?

jbratt: boy oh boy this will be a fun off-season

timomeier: 😈

user: That doesn't look like Switzerland

njdevils: oh captain my captain 🥵

user: just random but does y/nhughes have access to the devs insta? That's a very her comment

user: unsure... she's only just been hired so doubt it

user: and suddenly the devs are thirsty

y/nhughes: was not me but can't wait to work with whoever did 🫢🫡

[mchlgayser]

𝐀 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 ft jude bellingham

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: You and Jude went on an un-plan date that turns out very well

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff / ✮

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: none

 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: I decided to change my style(?) like different from the previous one and I think I like this one better. But that aside, I hope you enjoy this one, a little inspo from my cutest friend @habuonlylikesu 🤞🏼🤞🏼 she helps me a lot!! This is her idea based on her dream, thx again babes MWAHH <3

(( my navigations ))

'You want a drink?' Jude asked, and stopped the car by the gas station. You raised your head from the book and look at him 'Yeah sure, please get me a coffee!' It's been two hours now. Both you and Jude are on a road trip to Dorset.

It was your idea to visit Dorset after a long time because you wanted to fetch by the Lyme Regis Museum. Jude obviously could not say no to you, after all, it is indeed been a long time since you both go on a date.

You watch him walking inside through the mirror and went back to reading. Moments later, he gets inside and handed you a bag of snacks.

The ride wasn't entirely silent, there was a time when you'd put your book and strike up a conversation with him to keep him out of boredom, and there's a time when you shuffle songs from your playlist and sing along to them with the windows rolled down as the wind light brush against your skin.

Another hour passed, and you are almost at Dorset. You get your phone from the inside of your bag to call your friend who's a worker there 'Hello?' You heard a shuffle from the background 'Hey! I was wondering if you are at work now. Jude and I are going there today, you know because it's been a while...' You heard more shuffling before she finally answers 'Oh my God! I'm so sorry, I thought you were coming tomorrow! I forgot to tell you the museum is temporarily closed for today, they're moving stuff in and out. Gosh, I'm so sorry I forgot to tell you! Are you on your way?' You forcefully chuckle and your eyes move to Jude's 'Nah, it's okay we can find somewhere else to go...' She apologized once more and then hung up

'So...' Jude sighed, hands caressing the steel, and looks around 'Well I guess we can always go somewhere... Okay, I know where to go!' The time is almost 15:00 when you caught up with your destination.

The place wasn't crowded, in fact, only a few couples were there enjoying sites and planning routes. Since it was a weekday, there are not many people. Jude stopped the car after over ten minutes looking for a place to park the mobile and sough in contempt 'I hope you are fine with the beach?'

You were now at Durdle Door, a nice spot for you, a beach and clear blue water lover. Jude brings a mat that you didn't know he had and place it inside the basket.

'We can get through the stairs and went down to see up close!' He suggested, taking your hands in his and walking.

It was a nice, warm, and long walk. You two talk on your way there and just have your best time of the day, it was rather a surprisingly nice date even though it was un-plan.

You two went just near the seaside and far away from the public before he laid out the mat and sat down 'Come! Sit here and enjoy the breeze!' You take off your sandals and sat beside him, knees over your chest.

No utterance was spoken, just the sound of waves crashing and hitting rocks, the blue clear water matching with the sky, the sun peeping from behind the cloud, and the faint sounds of birds squawking.

You two sat there and just enjoyed each other actuality. After some time, you two found yourself cuddling to each other, you in front of him with your knees still to your chest and he had his arms all wrapped around you, occasionally leaving chaste kisses down your neck, to your cheeks, temple and the corner of your lip.

You checked your phone seeing that it passed seventeen, thirty, and the sun was about to set creating a dimmed light of orange hue and a tint of yellowish shade. The sky was painted with birds flying around in groups, the neverending comforting sound of the waves gushing hardly.

'I love this fragrance on you, is this the one I gifted you?' He asked in a whisper, you hummed, and gently placed your head over on his shoulder. His arms are securely around you, never letting go and sometimes he brushes his hand underneath your top caressing your side giving your body a delicate shudder.

The sun set entirely, the night sky embracing you with her warmth, Jude finally let go looking over at you with a lazy smile grazing his lip 'Should we leave? It's freezing.' You nod and get up to clean the place and left the place, hands in hands. The moon witnessed the scene and left with envy.

[optimism-appeared]

Welcome back to my Insane Sheet

Hope ya missed me. This is one of eventually many posts proving I've gone off the deep end. With the help of @sillymushroom17 we present this. Twisted Wonderland x Fnaf AU, not the kind where characters interact, the one where they swap :D

The Aftons (now Diasommnia) : Fun fact, this came to be because when referring to Lilia, Silly accidentally said Wilia

William Afton -> Lilia Vanrouge

Micheal Afton -> Malleus Draconia

Elizabeth-> Silver and CC-> Sebek Zigavolt

The Emily's (Now Ignyhide)

Henry Emily-> Idia Shroud and Charlie Emily-> Ortho Shroud

The first round of Missing kids are the first years! (Minus Sebek)

Freddy -> Ace Trappola, Bonnie-> Deuce Spade, Chica-> Epel Felmier, and Foxy-> Jack Howl.

MC or Yuu, is our vengeful spirit or Cassidy in this AU, being half of Golden Fred Boi with Sebek

Second Round of missing kids (with the Toy animatronics) are Octotrio plus Grim!

Toy Freddy-> Azul Ashrengrotto, Toy Bonnie-> Floyd Leech, and Toy Chica-> Jade Leech

And Grim is Mangle

Then because we wanted to include everyone, the Sister Location peeps!

Ballora->Vil Schoenheit, Funtime Foxy-> Rook Hunt, Ft. Freddy-> Jamil Viper, and Bon Bon-> Kalim Al-Asim

Before we move on to Current Fnaf aka Security Breach time, let me just take a moment to say Leona Kingscholar is Jeremy Fitzgerald!

Security Breach and Ruin time!

Gregory-> Ruggie Bucchi and Vanessa -> Cater Diamond

Cassie-> Riddle Rosehearts

And relating to the theory that in Help Wanted 2 we play as Cassie's dad, in this it's Trey Clover or an older brother/slightly older good friend of Riddle's

And last but not least, Dire Crowley is phone guy! And uh, the rest of the Night Raven staff are random nightguards that die lol.

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

hewwo ! im vv new to fairy tail (started watching it w my bff maybe a year or so ago bc its her fav (then i only got super attached like a month ago)) and i wanna follow a bunch of ft blogs so i can fill my dash up w it! but i havent found many :(( any suggestions? artists especially would be great

Hey hey hey, Sorry it took me a lil bit to answer you, i've been uh, ive been havin one heck of a week.

But ya know, welcome to FT 👉😎👉, glad theres still new peeps jumping into it still.

I can't give you a super definite list, but i can give you a few peeps off the top of my head:

@kiliinstinct <- i gotta of course, plug my good good comrade, my braincell homie. They mostly write (current fic of focus is Flame's Desire, check it out 😏) but they also draw from time to time! And theyre gettin better every day

@pencilofawesomeness <- Pencil's blog is a bit multi fandom but! Their FT art tag has got tons of good stuff in there and i got a particular fondness for how they draw Natsu tbh. (Also they write fic as well, How To Raise Your Dragon Slayer which is their ongoing one *wink wink*)

@silken-sails <- Silky, nother good comrade (even tho theyre british rip😔). Super unique n stylized art style tbh.

@grayseyebrowscar <- Milo my insane comrade. 'Nother combo fic writer and artist. Their fics lean a lil more to silly good times which is always fun lol. Fun fics, fun art (its very shaped) . Win win 👍

@oryu404 <- Stingue expert with top notch colouring 👌👌👌

@celestialrayna <- Another Sting and Rogue expert, has a rlly cute chibi style.

@acnologias-ass <- probs one of the cutest art styles out there.

@zai-doodles <- literally god tier FT character redesigns

@heartonxions <- gajevy and just a team shadowgear afficiando overall. They keep giving Gajeel more piercings and i love it lol

@crowind1 <- the blog for Acnologia art.

Also, of course, I gotta plug the blogs i help run that can help you find other FT blogs easier:

@fairytail-redraw (where lotsa artists take a shot a redrawing the prompts of the month)

@ft-reboost (blog that reblogs art and fic to help give em more love)

@theguildawards (fandom awards event that you can skim through and see the lists of past nominees and winners)

But there's only so many blogs i can remember off the top of my head 😅

So if any other FT artists or fic writers wanna promo their own blog or you got some FT blogs you wanna reccomend as well feel free to reblog this and promo em 👍

It's all about that shameless promo babeeeeyyyy

[dwntwn-strnlo]

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐈 𝙒𝙃𝙀𝙉 𝙄 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐈

w h e n                                                             i

check out my intro on wattpad! (it looks nicer and its easier to read)

CHAP 1

❝as your friend, i mean this in the meanest way possible . . .

. . . when will you ever learn?❞

dts. 

@oneirophobic

@gwenlore

@lvrsparadise

@gracietaylorsversions

@20nugs

@iha8you

🎙️🎙️🎙️

❝girl when i miss you (when i miss you)

i get caught up (all in my feelings girl)

i wanna kiss you (wanna kiss you)

show you some love (love)

show you some love (love)

i wanna show you some love, oh (love, love, love)❞

when i - steve lacy . . . 

𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 𝙄𝙉 𝙒𝙃𝙄𝘾𝙃 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 . . .

❝𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘶𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘥.❞

matthew sturniolo had practically 

grown up with the love for his best 

friend. but he could never speak on 

it as he watched her run away with 

other guys that she claimed were 

the 'one'. but realistically, nobody 

ever stayed. everything hurt him so 

much to the point where the only 

option was to pretend to hate the 

girl in hopes that his unmatched 

love would fade.

OR

𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 𝙄𝙉 𝙒𝙃𝙄𝘾𝙃 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐇 . . .

❝𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘰 ��𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘦𝘢𝘳?❞

every man was the man for vera

prince. she had searched so

desperately to find someone who

genuinely loved her, only to never

see the boy right next to her for 

who he truly was. eventually

seeing those gentle, loving

glances melt into annoyance 

and what seemed like hatred.

never noticing how hard it was

for him to see her in the awful

states she always found herself in.

𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 . . .

VERA PRINCE

( vere . . . )

boyfriend🎙️ariana grande ft. social house . . .

. . . ❝ but you don't want me to see nobody else. ❞

( 🫶🍵😶‍🌫️🦕📸 )

.hers.17.straight.

insta . . . @ veraaaprince OR @ kingvera

( portrayed by alana lintao . . . @alanalintao )

.

.

.

MATTHEW STURNIOLO

( matt . . . )

star shopping🎙️lil peep . . .

. . . ❝ i know that i'm not that important to you. but to me, girl, you're so much more than gorgeous. ❞

( 🦉⛺✍️📽️🪴 )

.his.18.straight.

insta . . . @ matthew.sturniolo OR @ liamneeson4L

( portrayed by matthew sturniolo . . . @matthew.sturniolo )

.

.

.

TRINITY WEST

( triny . . . )

evergeen (you didn't deserve me at all)🎙️omar apollo . . .

. . . ❝ but sometimes, i pray that you fall in love. ❞

( 🦋🥱🧃🙌🐢 )

.hers.18.bi.

insta . . . @ trinity_west OR @ theholytrinity

( portrayed by peyton list . . . @peytonlist )

.

.

.

CHRISTOPHER STURNIOLO

( chris . . . )

mr. brightside🎙️the killers . . .

. . . ❝ it started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? ❞

( 👾🦎🙈📣🎧 )

.his.18.straight.

insta . . . @ christophersturniolo OR @ chrischrischris

( portrayed by christopher sturniolo @christophersturniolo )

.

.

.

NICOLAS STURNIOLO

( nick . . . )

from the dining table🎙️harry styles . . .

. . . ❝ comfortable silence is so overrated. ❞

( 🐈‍⬛🌼🫂📻💫 )

.he.18.gay.

insta . . . @ nicolassturniolo OR @ proudhater

( portrayed by nicolas sturniolo @nicolassturniolo )

.

.

.

JENNIFER FOSTER

( jenny . . . jelly . . . )

name in the sand🎙️lil skies . . .

. . . ❝ when it rains, grab my hand. spell your name in the sand. ❞

( 👻🐿️🖼️🎸🌴 )

.hers.17.pan.

insta . . . @ jennnnyfoster OR @ foster2

( portrayed by jessie mesa . . . @unclejessiie )

.

.

.

MALCOLM SIMPSON

( mac . . . )

gorgeous🎙️taylor swift . . .

. . . ❝ you should take it as a complimet that i, got drunk and made fun of the way you talk. ❞

( 🤖🗺️🙊🕸️🏞️ )

.his.17.gay.

insta . . . @ macsimpson OR @ somanymacs

( portrayed by ryan crouse . . . @ryangcrouse )

𝐀𝐋𝐒𝐎 𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 . . .

( @ broghansemrad ) broghan semrad . . . AS . . . troye ivory

( @ madifilipowicz ) madison "madi" filipowicz . . . AS . . . herself

( @ nathandoe8 ) nathan "nate" doe . . . AS . . . himself

. . .

❝he hates me.❞

❝reword that.❞

❝he loves me.❞

𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 . . .

find the playlist here!

when i . . . steve lacy

❝i wanna show you some love❞

. . .

evergreen (you didn't deserve me) . . . omar apollo

❝you know you really made me hate myself❞

. . .

name in the sand . . . lil skies

❝need your love, it's my drug

when I'm down, lift me up

that's enough (that's enough)❞

. . .

destroy myself just for you . . . montell fish

❝i destroy myself, just for you, you

i destroy myself, just for you, you❞

. . .

delicate . . . taylor swift

❝is it cool that i said all that?

is it chill that you're in my head?❞

. . .

i wish i never met you . . . babygirl

❝i wish i never kissed you in my living room❞

. . .

think fast . . . dominic fike

❝think fast, you only get one try

sleep tight, i wanna get sunshine

wake up, you know we got things to see

cheap talks and nothing makes sense to me

she said two's our odd number, if you is involved i laugh❞

. . .

gorgeous . . . taylor swift

❝you've ruined my life, by not being mine❞

. . .

hostage . . . billie eilish

❝i wanna be alone

alone with you, does that make sense?❞

. . .

always been you . . . shawn mendes

❝it's always been you

and you've seen all my darkest fears

like you've known me for a thousand years

the boy who's really underneath

all the scars and insecurities, baby

i swear that you've been sent to save me

you're the one my heart keeps coming back to❞

. . .

if he wanted to he would . . . johnny orlando

❝i'm not like the last guy

he'd disappear for hours

no, he never bought you flowers❞

. . .

all i want is you . . . miguel, j cole

❝'cause being your friend was killing me softly❞

. . .

you get me so high . . . the neighbourhood

❝you're my best friend, i'll love you forever❞

. . .

ivy . . . frank ocean

❝ooh, i could hate you now

its quite alright to hate me now❞

. . .

idfc . . . blackbear

❝'cause i have hella feelings for you

i act like i dont fucking care

like they ain't even there❞

. . .

boyfriend . . . ariana grande

❝you ain't my by boyfriend (boyfriend)

and i ain't your girlfriend (girlfriend)

but you don't want me to see nobody else

and i don't want you to see nobody❞

. . .

flashing lights . . . kanye west

❝as i recall, i know you love to show off

but i never thought that you would take it this far❞

. . .

like i would . . . zayn

❝he, won't love you like i would❞

. . .

right here . . . lil peep, horse head

❝i know that i'm young, but i'm still right here

i dont give a fuck, i love who i love and girl

you're that one, so wait right here❞

. . .

soulmate . . . mac miller

❝what do you want with me?❞

. . .

daddy issues . . . the neighbourhood

❝it's crazy what you'll do for a friend❞

. . .

i just wanna feel your love again . . . montell fish

❝i just wanna feel your love again

i just wanna feel your touch again

but deep down i know you'll leave me every time

but if that's the price i might just turn my eyes❞

. . .

when the party's over . . . billie eilish

❝call me friend, but keep me closer❞

. . .

portrait of a blank state . . . lovejoy

❝we could make such a pretty picture❞

. . .

ultraviolet . . . aiden bissett

❝i'm living and dying, in your ultraviolet❞

. . .

i love you . . . billie eilish

❝maybe won't you take it back

say you were tryna make me laugh

and nothing has to change today

you didn't mean to say "i love you"

i love you and i don't want to❞

"i love you."

...

A/N

so excited 😋

[writingmochi]

part 2

cast: taehyun ✗ fem.reader (ft. loona yyxy, txt's hueningkai, and other idols)

synopsis: the year is 1999. cardboard boxes were put on the driveway of the newly-settled home across from where taehyun lives. the five sisters will soon shake the neighborhood with their eccentric personalities yet mysterious auras. the moon sisters. since that day they arrived, taehyun is intrigued by them and especially you, the youngest of the sisters

genre: coming of age, bildungsroman, slice of life, romance, drama, high school au, late 90s au, angst, a tiny bit of fluff, mature content (explicit smut, suicidal characters, depressive episodes)

based on: movie the virgin suicides (1999)

word count: 19282 (19.2k) out of 52076 (52k)

warning(s): tyun wears glasses AND is an amateur boxer, mentally and physically abusive parent, narcissistic parent, gender discrimination, suicide attempt, self-harm, depression, blood, bruises, explicit sex (semi-rough sex for part 2), protected sex, hand job (m & f receive), oral job (m receive), manhandling, dissolution of marriage (broken home peeps, i get you), mentions of arranged marriage, mention of smoking (cigarettes) (if there is something that i forgot, let me know)

message from the moon: remember that this story is fiction and do be careful and read the warnings at the top. all the idols mentioned here are not what they are in real life.

welcome! this is supposed to be a one-shot but because the word count has reached 50k+ and my tumblr errored because of it, i have no choice but to split them in two. so this is part 2! i know this is the shorter part but you also need to take a rest to because of how heavy the topics are. thank you so much and i hope you enjoy it!

cd mix | wall collage

read part 1 first!

you have no regret as mama slaps your cheek when you arrived back home after crossing the street. the burn on your cheek lingers as you hold back your tears. for you, it’s a reality check that you will get nothing you want as long as you are still in high school and live with them.

you see the various expressions your sisters have on their faces as they see you being berated by the person who gave birth to all of them. nothing screams joy in them. and yet, you defended them and taehyun.

taehyun. yeah, your plan didn’t work, yet you blame yourself for everything that happened tonight. all of you are stuck here, getting the brunt of your matriarch’s untrustworthiness towards the whole idea where she also sets a boundary she didn’t expect all of you could pass.

you told mama it’s your fault you’re still out past curfew, telling her you split up with your sisters and go with your date somewhere else on the school grounds, how you’re bored mingling with people and you converse so much with your date—making you lost track of time. that’s why she doesn’t question the disheveled look of your hair, clothes, and the additional piece of clothing you’re wearing from the colder autumn weather.

after being bombarded with your mama’s sayings, you fled back into your room as a throttle of steps followed you. all of them in their sleepwear with you being out of place—like a black swan in a flock of white ones. you expected that they’ll ask you and guilt you like how mama did, like how you’re doing it to yourself as it eats you up from the inside. your shoulders hunch as you sit on your bed, the dried tears from the corner of your eyes still culminating in new ones that are still producing since the fresh moment from downstairs. you wanted to peer at the house across from you, but you didn’t. you didn’t want to feel like you’d lost.

“hey, you seemed different.” hyejoo is the first to approach you, sitting beside you.

you let out a sigh, shaking your head, and licking your bottom lip before replying, “i’m so sorry i lost track of time with taehyun. you can blame me for whatever thing we might get from my shitty carelessness.”

“we could talk after you cleaned up. your eyeliner is so smudged…” sooyoung commented as she caressed your messy hair. picking up your pyjama from the wardrobe, you gave a tight-lip smile to them before going to the bathroom.

you can see the hickeys taehyun left on you clearer when you clean your make-up by the mirror. the dark spots scatter at the skin between your collarbone and neck while a few are on your chest. fingers pressing against one of them, you close your eyes, returning to that moment with taehyun as your body reacts to the pleasure you remembered. you force yourself to stop from the memory and face the reality of your consequences.

sitting down in a circle inside the nightlight-lit room, you dried your hair with a towel as your sisters tell you stories about what they did with their date. sooyoung and juyeon had an impromptu photoshoot as the king and queen of homecoming for the yearbook club. jiwoo and gyuri sat on the bleachers of the indoor court, conversing about her date’s play with the theater. chaewon and seungmin hung out in the school’s greenhouse—her club’s place. hyejoo and sunwoo played football on the field with the rest of the boys’ team and girls’ team. their guts told them how the night is getting late when they returned to juyeon’s van as it brought them home. you and taehyun disappear. they searched for both of your whereabouts but gave up on it.

as the spotlight turns to you, you gnaw the inside of your cheek before you say, “i tried to pursue him to run away with me.”

escaping has always been the matter you talk about once every month or when one of you thought about it. all of you put together many plans to escape your parents. you recall sooyoung’s plan on working part-time at university to save money so when all of you have graduated, you can move away and try to build your life with her. but, it all changed when your mama pushed sooyoung back one year below her, making her and jiwoo in the same year—and what sooyoung theorizes is how she can control her more. sooyoung was supposed to graduate this year but with that circumstances, she can’t.

“then…” chaewon leans into the conversation.

“i got selfish. i got mad that he focuses on his own life. he got mad that i didn’t care for all of you to run away by myself. he’s-“ you let out a somber smile. “i’m sorry. i plan this without thinking of all of you. i’m tired and angry and i don’t want to live this life anymore until she will let us go. so i made a path myself and i was hoping he’ll come too. if he agreed, i would have wanted to help all of you to leave.”

you sighed, “i also realize how he’s the same as the guys that pursue us, you know? he doesn’t like me for me. he likes me because i’m in a collective with you. i realize how selfish i am because of it. he was the only one who was brave to chase me. so i take it as a challenge of how much he wants to be with me before i realize i fell too deep for him to recognize other factors.”

hyejoo scoffed before she reaches for your hand, “i shouldn’t have mentioned that motherfucker.”

“no, it’s okay. that’s life, right?” you justified yourself and her. she wraps her arm around your shoulder and gives you a small side hug before you noticed her relax. you turn your head towards her to see her eyebrows raised.

“why is there a bruise on your neck?” you realized where she is going, but didn’t react fast enough as you felt hyejoo brushed your hair and moved your head away, letting her see a hickey on the spot she mentioned.

“i knew it!” hyejoo whisper-yelled as your other sisters crawls to you to show the spot.

“that means…” chaewon questioned, representing all of them.

the weight slides down your shoulder and back as you reply, “yes, i had sex with him too.”

even their reaction is making you laugh as they try their hardest to not make a ruckus as your parents are asleep downstairs. but your shoulders are sore from the number of times they shake you to tell them ‘yeah, you had your first time’ and the only one in your sisters who did it.

“how does it feel?” jiwoo asked, her eyebrows wiggling.

“honestly, overwhelming. it is a concoction i can’t summarize.” you remembered the constant praises between the two of you. “he’s great, and he said i’m great, so that’s that.”

you're glad it's a sunday so all of you talk about what you are facing, what you were thinking, what you had experienced, and other topics the entire night. you learned your sisters were also as selfish as you. hyejoo even mention how she wants to run away by herself at the start of the new school year but it’s not right. sooyoung mentioned how she almost had her first time but didn’t. as the moon sets to the west, the stories are stacked. how envious chaewon is of you and hyejoo being the more active one than she is, while jiwoo mentions the attempts she had to ask girls but didn’t do it because she’ll expose herself as a sapphic. all of your thoughts meet one another that night as the sisters resolve their conflicts in the open round-table conversation. you can state that all of you love each other and it’s very unconditional.

you can state that all of you are teenagers who need to experience life.

well, mama disagrees with that.

you stare at the dropping expression on all of your sisters’ faces at the dining table during breakfast—your heart follows too. you look away when you sense the glare landing on the side of your face. the shame growing inside your heart joint with the drooping of your eyelids as all of you took an all-nighter to talk.

it happens way too fast; you thought. mama’s stories she shares at the table somehow make you feel more guilty, how she said she would be at a school dance with her date and having her nanny with her to grab her food and drink, saying that she never forgets the curfew her parents give. she also cites chaewon as the one that is like her—not mentioning the other three sisters that also arrive home before curfew too. chaewon’s face turns from shock to a frown as mama continues to ramble about how an irresponsible child you are to her. your hands were on your lap when you felt another grasp on one of yours, hyejoo sitting next to you, subtly fuming.

your rebel of a sister explodes after hearing that mama will quit all of your after-school clubs, enrolling all of you back in ballet and musical instruments classes once again.

it happens way too fast when monday comes. you stared at your sisters in your similar-looking uniforms as mama brought you all to school for the first time when she will quit your sisters from the school clubs. it’s weird to see all of you wear the same style, knowing that all of you are inherently different. hyejoo’s wearing more than enough hair tie on her wrists that it battles the bracelets chaewon wears, but you know she’ll be aware of the pain later in the day.

they felt it too as mama’s warning to stay within the five of you the whole day—still ringing in all of your minds. your sisters stayed silent when they come across their former dates. a few of your sisters even spoke to them to leave them alone. when you witness it, you can’t help the guilt eating up inside you as your sisters give small smiles when returning to your crowd of five.

your hands continue picking on your nails as it jitters, imagining a cigarette stick between your fingers and how you tap the ash away as it fell onto the gravel. but mama will rage more if she can smell the recognizable scent from either you or hyejoo. so you both had a truce to stop smoking for the foreseeable future. though with your sisters’ club items being banned, your personal items aren’t as you still allow to bring your discman, but with a twist that you will hear orchestral music around mama if she’ll asked you to let her hear what you’re listening.

your eyesight glance between the hands on your desk to the open door of the classroom as you see the last person you want to see.

taehyun.

you looked at kai nudging his elbow at the boy as he stopped to look towards you. the world comes into a pause as you notice how tired he looks from his enormous eyes. you wanted to comfort him, but your mind lets you recall the conversation at night. you roll your eyes before looking towards the window beside you, glad that you sat with no seatmate.

after school, you went to the ballet classes that hyejoo still joins until this day. the teacher was in shock when she sees hyejoo introducing you and your other sisters—saying that you are going to join them. it feels weird to relearn the ballet positions again as the last time you remember going into the class was at age 7 when mama lets you learn classical guitar. you hear how your joints cracked from the moves as you stare at the dance floor with hyejoo dancing, all of your sisters’ backs leaning against the mirror wall as you study the other much more advanced ballerinas that are your age.

after ballet class when all of your sisters are asleep, you return to your usual routine of sneaking to your older sisters’ room to watch the new law and order: special victims unit episode, seeing how detectives elliot stabler and olivia benson solve the crimes; even with you joining in theorizing. you were glad that both of them are heavy sleepers, curling into the sweater you’re using. but tonight, you didn’t wear your usual striped sweater. you’re wearing the sweater you brought back home on that fateful night everything changed.

your mind recalibrates itself when you go back to learning classical guitar, not saying much to your teacher as you’re scared that they’re going to tell your mama about the problems you could accidentally expose to them. but as the lesson goes on, the way you pick the strings made of nylon and how enjoyable it is playing the guitar comes back to you. and you’re hoping that it last until your torture ends.

everything seems to find its place a week in. ballet dance class on monday and thursday, classical guitar class on tuesday and friday. mama said she’s not going out on wednesdays to oversee you all cleaning the houses. your usual chore of washing the dishes has now increased with another chore of washing your parents’ cars. you stole a glance at papa who is looking at his pager, still curious about why he cried on homecoming night but seems to be more emotionless as the day goes in the week.

the next monday, mama didn’t bring you to school as she does. instead, papa does. the weather itself is getting colder as is nearing the middle of october when you’ve been given permission to use outerwear for school so you don’t get sick. mama, who is on a “trip” with her friends, left the house to papa alone. as you sat in the middle of the dodge caravan he uses—the less of the two cars your parents own—you steal glances at your papa from the rearview window. the words are rising in you as you can’t help to vomit them out.

“pa…” you were the first in that entire drive to speak. “why did you cry when we went to homecoming?”

sooyoung, who sat in the front seat, turns her head to papa as you could see how the only man in the car is looking at the road and not at his daughters.

“it’s okay, papa…” you continue to glance at the rearview mirror as you could not back down, rubbing your hands with each other in the sweater paws. “it’s okay to cry. to cry is a human experience.”

papa stayed silent until the car arrives at school—you didn’t expect a reply anyway from your silent dad as he stayed that way most of the time. the only time he emote was when you saw him cry that evening.

you and your sisters part ways as you brought yourself to the bathroom. splashing away your face with cold water, you stare at yourself from the reflection. you notice the corner of your eyes has drooped more rapidly than you expected and how sunken it has been from the dark circles becoming darker. you held the pain of the icy water running down your fingers, burning the open wounds on each finger from the picking you had done as you pick not only the edge of your fingernails any more. your eyes glance down at the sweater that you wear as you brush them down, the color is the same as the blood that is drying up around your nails. your mind wondering if someone in class would notice how different your sweater is from your usual.

that indeed happened when you arrived at class and heard the audible gasp behind the wall of music you’re listening to from the headphones you are wearing. surprise is something you expected because you are wearing his sweater right now.

taehyun stares at you in his burgundy sweater as you walk to your desk. he wore a hoodie that you’ve never seen before but you recognize it deep down: he felt out of place without his burgundy sweater. your eyesight catches him behind the glasses as he stares at you. his face sits in a resting position that if anyone doesn’t know him may look intimidating. maybe he intends to intimidate you.

a folded paper arrived at your desk as you were writing notes in your notebook—preparing to compare it with your siblings. the paper was ripped from the corner of a notebook as you recognized the lines. you open the paper to find a message written with a thin pen.

meet me at your usual wall at recess - tyun

your eyes lifted to see him glancing behind his shoulder before he faces back to the front of the class. biting your lips, you slip the note inside your skirt pocket before returning to focus on the writings on the board.

picking your nails, you leaned your head against the brick wall near the field—sometimes the side of your fingers still rubs with one another as you expected a certain smoking cylinder. the shrugs from the moving gravel enter your ears as you turn to meet the boy of the moment.

“taehyun…”

“(y/n)…” he follows you and leans his upper body against the wall.

“what makes you want to meet me?” you chuckle, already knowing what he will say.

“you’re,” he licks his lips, “wearing my burgundy sweater.” taehyun replies, hands in his pockets, making his upper body appear much buffer than you remembered. but you observed how hunched his body is. cowering. “and i want it back.”

“it’s a memento for what we did that night.” you playfully said as you rub yourself with the clothing. “besides, it’s so soft.”

“give it back.” he snarled as you looked towards him, seeing how his eyes squint behind his glasses. his fang-like teeth give a threatening look. different from that night. different from that day. different from the first time you two met.

“make me.” you crossed your arms in front of your chest. you pay attention to how his face reacts as he looks at your face, his eyes then wander to your chest where your hands are resting above the arms, covered with the sweater paws. but the wind is blowing enough air to meet the open wounds you create. you wince as your nerve signals the injury to your brain.

“did you hurt yourself again?” he catches you as you see the exposed fingernails from the sweater. you wanted to hide from him. you didn't want him to see the pain you haven't let out to him on his mattress. but he caught them before you sucked them into you; before it sunk under the surface that is your face and body language. so, you nod and scoffed.

“everything changes so fast in a week. we could’ve been outside the town. just the two of us, you know. instead, ma’s fucking us up more.” you glance back at him. “i guess. this sweater will be a reminder for me of how it could be and how my mind was turned whatever degree they have turned. muddling up what i know about me, about my surroundings, and about you.” you give out a huge exhale before facing away from him, facing forward once again.

“you’re-“ taehyun paused. “you can’t just steal my belonging?!”

“so what? i did right.” you turn back towards him, stepping one foot forward closer. “or in your mind.” another step forward.

“no girls are brave enough to do it?” you hummed, tilting your head. “you always assume girls to be as quirky, as innocent, as easily control, huh? well, change your mind, silly. ‘cause this is how the world is.”

“then what about you?” he retaliates, turning his body. you stumble backwards before putting your hand on the wall to stabilize yourself.

“not everything should be revolving around you, right? i admit i adore you. i still fucking am. but your proposal to ask me to run away with you will not be the right way, (y/n).” taehyun rolls his eyes before continuing. “any guy would love to take you away: making you his. but i’m not like that ‘cause this is how the world is.”

you gritted your teeth as he threw your words against you. taehyun steps closer, making your body touches the brick wall once again. “you’re like me. thinking all boys are the same. thinking all the boys will treat you the same way you have been treated.” he nods as you stare into his eyes.

his large, vivid eyes staring down inside your soul. you see him shaken by your words and his realization of you and himself. it happens too fast when both of you lean forward, connecting your lips together.

his hand moves towards your waist, gripping the sweater you’re wearing, as you wrapped your hands beneath his underarm, pushing his shoulder blades forward as you heard a thud beside your ear. one of his hands holding him against the wall and you in between the two surfaces. the feverish sensation crawls back under your skin as your lips, tongue, and teeth clashed with each other so much that you can feel saliva dripping down the corners of your mouth.

pulling back and seeing a string of saliva connecting the two of you, you both breathe, making yourself steady with taehyun fixing his disarrayed glasses frame. his hand still sits beside your head as you both stare at each other, both of you are shaken up by the whole interaction.

ring!

the bell broke both of your trance as you slip out of his hold. his touch lingers at the end of the sweater as you walked backward, facing him.

“still a no for giving your sweater back, silly.”

and you disappear, leaving taehyun with a smirk on his face.

while your pain returns and lingers—stagnant for another two weeks, mama has become more of a helicopter mom you are aware many of the children in your social class have. the height of the plates you washed seemed to lower each day as you came back from your guitar and ballet lesson. your eyes linger on chaewon who took care of the backyard garden from the window, her dress’ end covered with manure and dirt which mama doesn’t allow herself to approach. then to sooyoung and her vacuum cleaner scrambling to both floors as the noise pierces your ears. they continue to hyejoo who is hanging the clothes that came out from the washing machine. lastly, to jiwoo who is dusting and putting the clutter back in its place—you saw her put the pillow back on the sofas. mama oversees everything as sits with her legs outstretched and a cup of tea by her side. papa is at work, working his ass off so you all could live and survive.

it continues just like that until halloween night.

the sound of children screaming around the street in the night sky is deafening as you and hyejoo stare outside of the window in your eldest sisters’ room. you touched the bruise on your cheek as you dared to ask your mama if you can trick or treat tonight. your sisters stare at it in horror before she’s the one that storms away at night, wearing a fancy dress as if she’s also going to a halloween party. papa also sees the incident before he and mama went back into their room. you overheard her booming yet unclear voice from behind the wall before he left first, then she did.

your nails play on the end of your turtleneck shirt’s long sleeve, hearing the scratch of the fabric as you stare down at your all-black ensemble for your costume as olivia benson from special victims unit.

you took a glimpse at hyejoo in her veronica sawyer from heathers costume as she tucks her blazer before walking back to the room. chaewon’s dazed gaze at the box-shaped tv is more pronounced with her juliet from romeo + juliet outfit complete with her wings as jiwoo reaches for her in an outfit that if you look close enough looks like her regular outfit but it’s her ginger spice costume. sooyoung sits in front of the tv as she lets out a sigh, her open palm trembling as she looks at each of you who she styled while she is in her cher from clueless costume. your oldest sister has tried her best to make your costume as exact as possible with the limited pieces of outfits all of you have. you heard her change the tv channels a few times before landing on one.

returning your head to the window, you stare one last time at the crowded streets full of children and pre-teens, as no other teens live here except for the one across from you.

speak of the devil, the front door of the house opens to see mrs. kang puts a plastic pumpkin bowl full of sweets and a cowboy-costumed taehyun with a space ranger-costumed kai went out. taehyun’s head turns towards your window when the door shuts behind him. kai seems to talk to him as they face the scattered crowds of people in costume. you can only let out a small smile you hope he catches as you close the window and curtains, facing the screen to spot addams family values playing on the tv. you sat beside jiwoo, resting your head against her shoulder as you watch the macabre family unit that is so united you don’t know how to classify your own.

your unfulfilled food cravings combine with your body that hasn’t had a proper rest making you collapse into a deep sleep only ten minutes into the movie. when you wake up, the only source of light closest to you is the running device—outside sources help your eyes adapt faster. the tv is playing a rerun of an older sitcom when you sit up on the floor, seeing the silhouettes of your sisters. the sound of excitement is now gone when you could only hear grasshoppers outside. stretching your body, you stand up from your position to see that your sisters have fallen asleep, except you only counted three and identify them as the three oldest.

you heard floorboard creaks as you walk to your own room, hoping your other triplet is asleep in her bed. the door opens to the beds arranged for the three of you, but no silhouette is there before you close the door.

“hyejoo…?” you called her name but the hallways stay silent. so silent that you can catch the gush of the wind blowing inside the crevices. following where it comes from, you arrived at the open laundry area with the ladder to the roof, and the hatch above it is ajar. the thing that contrasts your memory of the room is the blazer on top of the washing machine, the blazer you recognize hyejoo wore before. you decided and climb up the ladder.

the darkness almost blinds you as you let the outside light makes you adapt. you called for your sister’s name once again but not as loud as before, hoping not to cause a disturbance for the sleeping children. when you approached the front of the house at the roof, that’s when you meet a silhouette, the air blowing the ends of the hair and oversized shirt as you watch the body moving closer to the edge.

“moon hyejoo!” you exclaimed as the person named turned her head slowly. the moon reflects the conflict in her eyes.

“don’t step closer.” she reaches her hand out and sniffles. you gnaw your lip as you also reach both of your hands out, stopping whatever she’s trying to do.

“don’t move…” you speak as you see her shaking her head, the sniffles getting heavier as she looks beyond the raised edge of the roof she stood on.

“i’m fucking tired of living this life, okay? i just…” she sighs, pulling her hand down to be beside her body once again. “i want to give up. we’re too tied up with her bullshit. i wanna be free, (y/n). i wanna do what i wanna do.”

“i know.” you step closer, seeing her anklet refract the light along with yours, dimmer because of her position, creating a shadow in front of you. “but we all promise to stick together, right? we made a pact that we have to live and die together.”

hyejoo looks down at her anklet as she nods, “and we’re gonna make one of us mad if we didn’t fulfill our promise.”

“that’s right. you can talk it out with us as a collective. believe me, all of us are tired too.” you took a step closer to her as she doesn’t push you to stay back anymore. “who’ll be our front-line offense if we revolted together?”

“of course it’s me.” hyejoo chuckles as steps forward to the roof instead of the ledge. “you all won’t survive mother’s torment without me berating her back.”

“exactly.” you were a few meters away from her. “then we’re gonna cherish every time we have together, okay? all five of us?”

as she nods, you grab her from the platform at the ledge into a warm bear hug. you sense your turtleneck getting wetter as she let her heart out. brushing her hair and swaying to calm her. your eyesight sticks to the unfamiliar view of the surrounding houses from above. that’s how your sight stays on one specific porch.

taehyun stood by his front door with his front face towards you. his cowboy hat tucked beneath his underarm as you stop swaying and focus on caressing your sister instead. his stare lingers on you, goosebumps growing on your skin as you cannot tell what he is thinking—only his piercing gaze.

he must’ve seen everything.

you let out a smile that might be hard for him to see. but when he enters his house, you’re feeling as if he understood what you’re communicating to him.

yet, your trance disappears as you picked up the screech of a vehicle before you lean closer to the ledge, seeing the dodge caravan hot with how papa just arrived back home. he stumbles out of the car before slamming the door shut. hyejoo leans away as she looks down at you, papa stumbling his way in before he disappeared underneath the platform from the second floor.

“is pa okay?” you asked her, seeing her brushing her tears away.

“he’s definitely not. if he is as intoxicated as i think he is, he can’t open the front door.”

the two of you arrived at the first floor. you opened the door to find your papa leaning against the door before stumbling inside with hyejoo helping to prop him up. you almost gagged at the unfamiliar stench of alcohol reeking from him. his eyes not fully shut might mean he’s not 100% unconscious, clearer with his sudden murmur.

“hye… (y/n)…” he mumbled as you both help him bring himself into the master bedroom. you heard hyejoo grunt as you let go of the weight to push the door open. it’s a rarity for you to enter your parents’ room as mama doesn’t allow you to be in there. when you realize it, most of the items are hers. it sickens you that your papa’s personality isn’t being shown enough. but when you consider it, papa’s origins are unknown as mama’s the only one that told stories of her life before having kids, giving papa no chance whatsoever. pulling his shoes off, you both push him onto the bed. when you thought he has settled and you jut your chin towards the door so both of you can leave, you overheard the man talking.

“kids…”

it has been a long time since he called you that and it makes your body freeze. hyejoo and you turn around to see your papa leaning against the pillow, an unrecognizable smile on his face that combines something warm and cold at the same time.

“i’m, i’m sorry…” he hiccups as his head almost fell asleep before he jolts awake, but only lasted for around 30 seconds.

“i, i will try- to get a bet, better future for… us…”

as papa fell asleep, you look towards hyejoo as she gives you a shrug, the tear tracks on her cheek make you gesture so she can clean it. papa hasn't spoken to his daughters in a long time. the family picture photo shoot was the last time you remembered it. your steps become slower as hyejoo went up the stairs, leaving you alone to look at the portrait of your family from nine years ago.

“put on your greatest smile, kids!” you recalled him said. yet, you could see the suffering of you and your sisters as they crawled up the frame of the portrait. and, you seem to believe papa now realizes it too as the few of the first things he sees each time he came out of his slumber is the reminder of how his daughters' lives are deteriorating.

nothing interesting happened since halloween and entering the eleventh month of the year, well if you count mama’s much more prominent sob stories at the dining table interesting. you gazed between chaewon and hyejoo, having the triplet connection to talk with facial expression, realizing that what she talked about is her earlier stories but more elaborate and dragging.

you nibble your bottom lip while watching the street passing by in the morning sky. papa’s turn to take you to school as mama is sleeping her ass off after they both went to a gathering. hyejoo’s the one in the front seat as the radio plays the hits of 1999, dido‘s “thank you“is now playing in the caravan‘s speaker.

you sometimes catch how papa took a glimpse behind his driver’s seat in the vacant street of the neighborhood. how, little by little, he almost resembles his children. sunken eyes, a frown that stays on too long, his wrinkles getting more prominent along with slight white hair growing from the roots on his scalp. your headphones hanging around your neck with your backpack straps on and the discman strap hanging on one shoulder as the quiet ride to school continues.

stepping out of the car, you all greet your papa goodbye as he looks at you proudly before he goes to his work in his not-prime condition today. putting on the headphones on your ears, you brush your cool hands against the burgundy sweater that you almost called yours after a month of holding onto it—pressing the play button to play cd mix #12 once again after already playing since #1.

the door of the class opens with you as you step inside, seeing your classmate giving small smiles because you didn’t indulge in any of their gossip to make them care about you anymore—you wanted to fade into obscurity and you hope it’s working. seeing the open space beneath you from the window reminds you of hyejoo’s attempt, how it’s almost laughable that she thought of the same ways to end things as you—how you thought about if you openly ended your life at this specific window from your seat. your eyes glance back to the front when the teacher is coming into class and one last peek at the glasses-wearing boy who sits a few rows in front of you.

rubbing your tummy that is full of lunch after you gather at your usual tree trunk, you let out a yawn and stretch your palms from how tired they are from playing your guitar. the chipped pointer fingernail reminds you how you strum along to the music from your cd mix as you don’t have a pick. the class is empty as people still took a rest and eat lunch before the last periods of today’s school day.

you pulled out your discman, unwrapping your headphones before putting them on. naturally, you rub the ridges of the button to turn the device on before moving to the play button. the sound of guitar playing coming from your headphon- wait…

you’ve never heard this song before.

the seat you’re sitting is your place. the discman that you’re hearing from is your discman. but the song differs from the mix you brought from home. putting the song on pause, you take the device in your hand before opening the lid. a silver cd that resembles the ones you have there, but this is different and that’s when you raised your eyebrows as you read it.

to my moon pixie, y/n

cd mix #✰

luna - the smashing pumpkins

hey - pixies

child psychology - black box recorder

little trouble girl - sonic youth

venus as a boy - björk

…

you counted 10 curated songs in the mixtape, some you’ve heard, some you recognize the artist, and some you didn’t know. your callused hand reaches to rub the marker on the burned cd. then, your eyesight scans the last set of written words at the bottom of the circle.

you want to watch me in my boxing match? reply through aim, kay? - your silly boy

-

taehyun’s fingers fidget with his ballpoint, flipping it all over his hand. his stare switches between his homework and the interface of the messenger with two windows open. one window is the chat room he has with kai that stays open—the last message is about him finishing playing goldeneye 007. the other window shows the members list, people he has added on aim as each second one of them switches from online to offline, and vice versa.

yet, his eyes are stuck on one screen name that always switches on and offline. moon12345.

the bandage he wore for sparring for his upcoming match rested near the back of the desk as his mind is slowly stepping back from the homework. he doesn't know if his plan will work. he and kai scrambled to the nearest music store from here to find the right songs to put in your cd mix. with his parents leaving him once again at home—still sad as they could not see their son compete—he needed at least one person to be by his side. he asked kai to come with him before his friend reminded him that this is the perfect opportunity for him to ask you.

“i can’t ask her. she fucking hates me.”

“how do you know that?” kai chuckled as they both walk around the street. the green and purple color of his buzz lightyear costume shine from the streetlights. both of their basket full to the brim with candies and chocolates.

“well… she won’t return my sweater.”

“and i’ll do the same if you and i are fighting.” kai sarcastically rolls his eye before tipping the hat on taehyun’s woody costume up.

“you’ve said to me you’ve changed.”

“i did and i am.” taehyun reiterated.

“you change your ways of thinking because of her, right? how you can’t expect what someone thinks because of what they are? how she is more than just a cool girl for you?” kai tilts his head, with taehyun sighing and nodding afterwards.

“don’t you want to tell her?” kai responded, “like you said to me before, she’s hurting in there. if you truly adore her, do you want to drag her away for a night?”

taehyun lets out a scoff as he brushes his hat off his head. “everything changes way too fast.”

“so did us. i mean, i do. i didn’t even think of having a fucking significant other this fast and i certainly don’t believe i got one faster than you. especially counting how long you have been pining for this girl.” kai comments on his new partner, making taehyun giggle as he brushes his dark hair, almost obscure to the dark sky above him.

the boy reflected on it once again. his friend is correct. how would you learn he changed if he doesn’t show it to you? the last conversation both of you had showed that you and he are flawed. both of you let your biases affect how you think.

“okay, i’ll do it,” taehyun exasperated as kai’s face turns to glee before he returns to his thoughts, eyebrows now furrowed.

“but?” his friend squints his eyes.

“how am i gonna do this?” the boy sighs as he looks at the children walking in their costumes, some are eating the sweets they got. “she seems more closed off ever since she broke her curfew, which, i know, my fault with that too. i haven’t seen her go outside again in the evenings and even if i have the moon sisters on my list, she’s typically not the one to chat on aim. in our homecoming chat room, she didn’t even write a single word. even if the moon sisters’ screen name is online, how would i know it’s her?”

kai nodded and said, “then, what is always in her mind? what does she always have with her?”

taehyun’s head lifted as he fixed his glasses, carefully pulling his hand down as he realize what his best friend mean.

“her discman and cds.”

taehyun has listened to music he has never listened to before to make a cd mix for you. as your taste is vague, he didn’t know which genres were the right ones to give to you. but he hopes it’s enough to get your attention.

he shook his head at the thought as he does his homework, hearing the tv in the living room where his parents are watching a movie. his mind transcends to the notebook he’s writing in—a few pages before it was the same page he ripped to give you a message. the words he got from reading and listening have been collected in his brain so he can do his homework as best as he can. rubbing his hand because of how tired he is at writing, he felt the calluses that grow on his knuckles from the training.

taehyun leans his head against his hand that is propped on the desk, lulling to one side as sleep tries to capture him in their bed. the boy’s eyelids are getting heavier and heavier and when he wrote the last word for his homework, he seemed like he could sleep in peace. so he rested his head on the hand, letting it hold him as gravity can’t pull it to fall. he’s too tired to climb back into his bed where his gym bag still sits.

that’s when he heard a chime from his pc.

pushing the glasses back up, he searches for the chat room on the desktop. yet, penguinkai said nothing in the chat room. he then looks to the other window and finds a screen name highlighted. he clicks the name as quickly as possible and a chat room opens.

moon12345: hey stranger, it’s (y/n)

moon12345: great recommendations you gave me

moon12345: would love to see you beat your opponent ;)

taehyun lets out a chuckle, looking at the small shine from one window on the second floor of the house across. the chime comes in and out until midnight as they both talked, talked about everything he could think of like how’s the homework and you asking him how he found the songs he put on the cd. the topics you two talked about are even deeper than he expected to talk to anyone other than kai or his family.

K_Tyun: hows ur nails?

the screen paused as the light pierces into his eyes. he’s glad he turned on his nightlight before so it doesn’t hurt his eyes more.

moon12345: healing

moon12345: not all of me though…

K_Tyun: whatd u mean?

taehyun looks out the window again before looking down at how he sees only one car is at the carpark. the dodge caravan which he sees your father drive.

moon12345: kinda wanna blame you for this

moon12345: i guess it’s my fault too

moon12345: ma’s getting harsher day by day

moon12345: i mean

moon12345: you saw hyejoo almost killing herself, right? before i saved her?

the boy nods his head, expecting you to know his answer before he heard the clack on his keyboard and types down his message. he waited for a few seconds to pass before he sees the minute number changing once again before you answer.

moon12345: then i’m glad you’re taking me out

moon12345: it felt weird to know my sisters chatting with their friends here when i don’t have one

moon12345: so… thanks… i guess…

he lets out a giggle as he replied.

K_Tyun: urwell

K_Tyun: dont forget my sweater at the match

moon12345: i won’t forget it, i promise

moon12345: i might just give it back if you win :)

when the day of the match comes, taehyun warms his body up under unknown nervousness. the match was in another town and he’s scared you could not come because of it, knowing how harsh your mother has been in your own words.

he always seemed confident each time he competes, remembering how he won a podium place back in elementary school and how he fought his match between that and this match. remembering his parents and sister’s cheers by the sideline before it changes to kai and his boxing club friends. he looks at his friends that are also in the match and their varying results. some cried and others were ecstatic with their results.

“you ready?” his coach asked as he puts his hand on his shoulder, rattling his body to wake him up inside the locker room. taehyun nods as he looks away, but he felt his head move from his jaw to face the coach.

“you don’t look okay. what’s on your mind?” he questioned.

“the girl i told you about. she’s going to be here.”

“then impress her.” the coach’s fiery gaze transfers to him.

taehyun stood up from his seat, body all warm up, emotions all over the place as his coach puts on his robe before bringing him into the ring where hundreds of people are focusing on him. he ignores the flashes from cameras that litter the large room like stars in the sky, eyes focusing to the ring as he sees his opponent. a tad bit bigger than him by height but skinnier—makes sense to him that they’re in the same weight class.

after sitting in one corner of the ring, he sees his coach and his assistant putting on vaseline along his face and exposed body. the cold substance is rubbed on his skin so that he won’t be as battered as he hope he was not. he drank a few sips of water before he puts on his mouthguard. the surrounding crowd is blurry without his glasses, but he could view his opponent’s figure. nothing that reminds him of you caught his attention.

i won’t find her now, he thought.

as the round starts, he holds his guard position as both boxers move in the ring. taehyun is known to have great stamina by his coach and peers—he hopes it will persist him until the end. he heard loud cheers from the side that he recognizes before the opponent gives a right hook, which he successfully dodge before giving a jab, hitting the opponent’s torso but slipping because of the lubricant he uses. as much as he tried to focus, he has times when his stare at the crowd linger too much that his opponent notices. where are you?

as it enter the sixth round, taehyun felt his head getting heavier—the wounds on his body are aching him. the scores are even but the overwhelming sensation of getting punched, blocking, and avoiding gets a toll on him. the vaseline with another concoction that is added to put on his open wound helps it as only droplets of blood is on his skin. he looks out of the ring again, searching for you as fast as he can, hearing the sound of his opponent’s punch. his coach is yelling from the side, telling him to stay focused. but his body struggling is to breathe and stand up, his blurry vision getting blurrier than what is his prescription. a force pushes against his cheek before his body follows.

bam!

thud!

his opponent gave a hook and knocks him down. the referee counts down as the room moves so slowly from his perspective. the people that gathered around the ring made a commotion, he recognize a few of his club friends with looks of concern as the opponent looks at him from above, letting out a smug smile. all his eyes can focus on is outside the ring.

1…

2…

blood is running down his nose as he tried to prop himself up…

3…

“KANG TAEHYUN!!”

he looks at where the voice came from. a familiar voice piercing from the crowd.

4…

he sees someone wearing burgundy struggling to come to the front of the crowd towards the ring. taehyun’s eyes widen more, making him push himself more, hands fumbling to hold himself upright.

5…

the figure is blurry as it tries to pry itself to the front of the crowd. when the figure stood near where his friends are, he finally realized who are they…

you. you who is wrapping your hands around your front as you see him trying to stand up. a sudden smile now grows on his bruised face.

6…

he knows you’re here, and he will not let you down. he pushes more to stand up, moving his feet so it stabilized him as he straightens his legs…

7…

he erects from the floor and stood in his stance again, head lolling as he brushes the blood away that flooded from his nose. the sound of the bell ring and he moves around again, getting a surge of energy to continue until the end of the round 15 seconds later. a few jabs and hooks hurt the opponent.

the bell rings signaling the end of the round as his coach and his assistant crawl up to the ring and give him his water bottle while wiping his face with the towel, and giving him a small ball of tissue for his bloody nostril. they put the vaseline combo on his skin again so that it helps him and his wounds more.

“you did well there.” his coach says, shaking his body and arms so it doesn’t go numb.

“no, i’m sorry, my mind got into a bit of a haze back there.” taehyun replied after taking out his mouthguard. the coach nods as he knows what the boy meant as he sees the burgundy figure approaching closer to his corner. taehyun’s eyes set on you as his coach turns to meet you in the flesh.

“you must be the girl…” he said as you turn towards him, tilting your head while taehyun shrugged.

“yeah, she is.” taehyun looks at his coach, still huffing. “can she-“

“yeah, she can.” the coach permitted you to get into the ring, nodding at you as you climb in. you were holding onto a messenger bag where its strap goes across your chest and pipe jeans with sneakers on.

“i’m so sorry, it’s- fuck. it’s a long story.” you hugged him, not caring about how sweaty he is as he stay still before you lean back.

“no, it’s okay. you’re here now.” he looks up to meet you. the way the lights that shine on the ring now illuminate your figure but obscure your face so only he could see. you wear wearing pretty smoky eye makeup with your winged eyeliner. his gloved hand comes to touch your side as he brushes it against his burgundy sweater you’re wearing. he tried his best, but blood seems to rush down to his lower part—he wants to rip it off of you. his coach taught him to not relieve himself before a match, but he felt the frustration even more when you’re here.

taehyun closes his eyes and feels the chills on his skin when you kiss his forehead. your lips linger there as you brush his dark bangs away. his enlarged eyes uncovered looking into yours, seeing something new other than your cracked vase. a fixed vase as your eyes wrinkle.

“i know that you can beat him. i didn’t know shit about boxing but i almost saw you knock him down. so i believe you can…” you replied. taehyun looks at you, smiling from cheek to cheek, and he stood up so he can hug you again.

“you want to take this sweater from me, right? then beat him.”

you whispered in his ear, pulling yourself away from him to go outside of the ring. the coach gives him his mouthguard back as the bell rings, starting the seventh round.

his mind is much clearer as he throws punches, jabs, and hooks as best as he can. his abs muscles are aching for being such an easy target, but he prevails, knocking him back or even more. and at round nine, he notices his opponent swaying and his energy depleted. that’s when taehyun punches him and knocks him down, his chest rises and falls while everyone counts along with the referee.

taehyun’s gaze stays on his opponent—who doesn’t struggle much—then stand to you, who stood beside his coach. your eyes caught his as you give a slight pout, hearing the count rounding to 10 in 3… 2…

ding ding ding!

taehyun sensed how his body almost knocks down by his peers, hugging him like how he did to them in the earlier matches. his head facing the ceiling to breathe out before seeing you let out a grin he hasn’t seen in a long time. as the referee raises his hand, he can feel hands reach for him, saying how well he has done and how he qualified for the next round. taehyun brought himself to his opponent, and compose him before they both hugged. as he turns to see you, the thought of things he’ll do with you is slowly moving forwards.

“hey, coach. can i go to the hotel first?” he said when he recognized his coach wrap his arm around the boy’s shoulder. the coach squints his eyes before mumbling “teenagers“, making taehyun chuckle as the man lets him go.

“your room key is in your locker with your bag.” the coach says as he nods before leaving him. taehyun steps down from the ring and wraps his gloved hand around one of your forearms as he brings you away from the sea of people.

“where are we going?” you replied got muffled by the velcro strap he ripped open in the hallway, pulling the glove off by biting the rubber.

“you’ll see. wait for me here, gonna grab my bag.” you stay beside the door he went in like he wanted as he arrives at the locker he was assigned to and put on a hoodie he wears as a replacement for his sweater, changing into his usual shorts from his boxing one. seeing the key as he pulls his bag out, he puts it in the pocket before closing it and grabbing the strap.

from the crowded and warm room full of people, the night breeze greets both of you. taehyun sense the cold from it as his sweat is still sticking onto his skin, weakening him with the breeze. both of you walk in the street of the unknown town to the hotel he and his club has checked in.

“why are you so quick, tyun?” you giggled before he stops you, holding onto both of your shoulders while you bite your bottom lip.

“just, it’s that i haven’t jerked off in weeks. coach’s order. but seeing you in my sweater is making me…”

“you called me here to fuck?” your eyes squint.

“not like that. it’s just a side effect-“ he hisses as he moves his body, especially after being reminded of how bruised his body is after the match.

“we’ll talk it out on the way to the hotel.” you cut him off, nudging towards him before he took both of you away.

when you both enter the hotel and pass the lobby to go to the elevator, he stood right across from you when you open your mouth, asking, “you’ve changed, right?”

“define change.” he challenges.

“what we talked about before at school and in the chat room.”

“i hope so, you?”

“my sentiment also,” you quickly replied before stepping closer to him. “i’m not going to lie here. you look hot in the ring…”

taehyun chuckles, “you said you wanted to wait for me to patch up first…”

“you started it, now i can’t think of it.” you close the gap between the two of you as you whisper, “think of it like my appreciation to you for winning that match.”

taehyun quickly leans forward and captures your lips in his as the door of the elevator opens and he dragged you to the hotel hallway in the room's direction. as you both reached there, he felt your hands wrapped around his front, back hugging him as he opens the door.

“this room is for you alone, right? no roommate.” your chin pressed down his back muscles as he inserts the key in.

“i was supposed to be here with kai but he back down cause he has a new partner he wants to have dates with.” he picked up your gasp right as he turn the key and heard the door unlocked.

“really? ho-“

he pulled you in and pushed you against the door as its close, enclosing you in between his arm as he slotted the key back in and lock the door. “we can talk about this later, yeah?”

you giggled as you caressed his hair, brushing away the sticky hair while nodding. after pulling off your shoes and socks, he brought you into the room to see the two single beds as he puts his bag on the one closest to the door—you follow him. his hands found the end of his sweater that looks different because of you wearing it. hands rested on his nape as he caress your covered skin underneath the sweater, letting him kiss them every time he turns his head.

your arms stretch above you as he pulls his sweater off of you, seeing you dressed in a black muscle tank that fits your torso as he put the sweater on the occupied bed. “your turn to have layers, huh?” taehyun teasingly asked.

“not my intention. it’s just what happened,” you smirk as you lean in and kiss him more and deeper. your hands are reaching for his abdomen when he winces, making you lean back. “too hard?”

“yeah…”

you brought him to sit on the other bed as you pulled your jeans off, making him see the anklet he hasn’t seen in a long time. he pulled off his hoodie as you take your tank top off before putting it on beside your jeans, leaving you in your undergarments that is matching in colors. he tried to open his shorts, but he heard a tsk coming from you, kneeling in between his legs as he allowed you to pull it off of him.

“you’re hurting and i’ll try my best to not make it hurt.”

he sighs as your hand is on his bulge before pulling his boxers, making him lift his hips to let you pull them down and throw them somewhere in the room. your callused fingers trail up the skin of his thigh as he squirmed from the ticklish sensation he got before it arrive at his base, seeing it had already risen a little.

“did you get turned on at the match? you’re nearly there,” you comment on that as you gave him a stroke to let his blood flow more there.

“yeah. i’m frustrated when you’re not there so i tried to pour it out in the fight and other advice the coach gave to me. then you came and this,” he looked down, “grew.”

“uh-huh…” you hummed as you wet your palm with your saliva and caress it on him, making the movement much smoother as he let out tiny groans, knowing he’s in a hotel room instead of the comfort of his home. his jaw drops when he sees you let him inside your mouth. your lips pucker while dragging your head back and you let your tongue lick his tip as he brushes away your hair. the lights coming from outside the sheer curtain reflect on both of you.

your hand reaches for his hip to hold him down, noticing the scabs that form because of your excessive nail picking that goes beyond cleaning your free edges like you used to. the fingertips he remembered is harder and thicker—you might have played your guitar more often. one of his hands reaches for yours as the other is holding him up. you let him caress your hand as he felt the scab along the open wounds he remembered. he let out a groan as he sees how deeper you suck him; as if you were waiting for a long time to showcase it to him.

hearing your muffled moan, he catches your free hand playing with yourself as he sits up to caress your head, gripping the hand as he sees you pleasure yourself with him. his other hand reaches to caress your cheekbone, sometimes pushing you down so you stay still and embrace him.

you pull out and peer up at him, seeing a sheen of saliva around your lips as you wipe them away before stroking his now hard and raging member. he pulls you up before hugging you, pushing you close to him by your cheeks and gives a kiss on your stomach—holding onto your body as if you disappeared if he lets go. taehyun noticed your body is frailer than the last time, eyes looking at the almost-faded cigarette burn marks still on your thigh. underneath the eu de toilette you still use until this day, he hasn’t smelled the distinct cigarette scent again. it’s as if you’re transferring how to cope when your parent is more restrictive than before—showing off how you hurt yourself instead of hiding it like you used to.

taehyun pushes your underwear down before guiding you to sit on his lap, both of your legs spreading to the other side of his legs. he hears you gasp as your wet core touches his skin. leaning down to catch his lips, your hand traces his sweaty body, the muscles that ache from the ring as it still awake to indulge you, before rubbing a few of his wounds, making you lean away.

“i’m scared that if i ride you, i’m going to hurt you.” you pouted as he kiss the pout. he stares into your eyes before seeing you raise your eyebrows. you move against his thighs to drape your hand around his neck as slowly as possible, his hands holding onto your back as he gives kisses above your breasts before sucking the skin on your shoulder. your chin sits on his shoulder as he sensed how your breath caresses his earlobe, how you sigh and whisper profanities you used to exclaim.

“take me, taehyun. i need you.” he heard you whisper, making him separate your fronts that were touching. he brushes your hair as he sees that look back in your eyes, the feverish passion he always had and thought with you coming back. the way your hand reaches one of his that is beside your head to let his thumb traces your puffy lips, giving a slight suck on the fingertip.

“lay down with your back facing up.” he juts his chin towards the pillows behind the two of you as you let him go. he sees you stretching your head and neck before following what he said.

taehyun grabs the condom from his bag and puts it on, wetting his palm to help make the rubber slip easier. though it’s his second time, he still feels nervous to be in a more dominant position. but with the way you act, it seems that you’re letting him take charge—making him feel more blood rushing down to his parts.

he grabs another pillow from the other bed and he sees you laying face down on the pillow, looking to the side as you tried your best to breathe. as he climbs up the mattress, he lifted your pelvis and put a pillow right beneath the part where your stomach and hips meet, making him see your core underneath the light before he pulls your hips up, your knees arching along.

your head is looking behind your shoulder as best as you can as he let his tip touches your hole before he’s pushing in. taehyun hears your moan as you muffled yourself with the pillow you’re holding onto. hands gripping onto your pelvis, he embraces your walls once again after a long time, missing the tight pressure that is making both of you sensitive. his thrusts are careful as he tried to memorize every part of you in him.

all he wanted was to pound you for the teasing you did and the frustration he succumbed to. at how you thought you were the right one before he gave you his piece of mind. he sees your hand coming up behind you, reaching for something before he grips it with his own. you have a fiery look in your eyes as you face him.

“fuck, go harder,” you said before letting out a moan, your hips pushing up against him to meet his slow push. feeling it deeper in you. taehyun’s grip on your hand flatters as he opens the hook of your bra before leaning in closer.

“my fucking pleasure.” taehyun gritted his teeth as he grips onto your love handles before drilling you into the mattress. the number of moans you let out multiplied as you tried your best to muffle it down or add more air as you gasp. the strap of your undergarments falls down your arm as he reaches beneath you and your breasts move with his harder and faster thrusts.

with his position and sore body, he leans down his body and lays on top of you, grabbing both of your hands to rest them on each side of your head. your head pivots as he kisses your spine up to your shoulder blades, hips now focusing on pushing deeper. his head nears your ear as you try to breathe, sweat falling down your temple as he kisses it before the corner of your lips, seeing you pout to kiss him more.

“i fucking miss you.” he groans into your ear as the mattress moves because of his movement. you tried your best to crane your head to kiss him, but one of your hands fell out of his grip as it reaches for his nape so you could capture his mouth to yours.

“i miss you too,” you whine. he sees your eyes glistening as you stare at him so beautifully. the strength from inside him comes as he pulls you up into the kneeling position, hands holding onto the front of your body as you let out quiet moans you’ve learned this moment. his hand moves to your clit and breasts as you hold on to one of them, teeth and tongue clashing with him as best as you can. the groans and moans between the two of you combined with the skin slapping filled the room—little intrusion from the street of downtown making it livelier than he expected.

thrust upon thrust and marks decorating your back as your well-kept nails create scratches on his forearm. he felt himself about to burst.

“i’m cumming.”

“come for me, tyun,” you said with his nickname as he burst inside the condom. his hands going limp as you try to find your edge, his hips moving automatically to help you.

“fuc- i’m-“ you exclaimed as your body tremble before both of you fell to the mattress. the pillow has stains from your makeup as you try to not mess it up more. both of you trying your best to breathe and make yourself steady as he kisses your cheekbone before mumbling against your skin.

“i like you so much. you got me wrapped around your finger since the day you moved in across from me, moon (y/n).”

he lets go of your body before slipping out, hearing you exhale as you turn your head to face him. tying the condom up and throwing it in the trash can, he felt the lingering sense of you watching him as he turns his figure around. you nibble on your swollen bottom lip as he stood there, staring into your soul with him bearing one for you to judge. he finally let out his feelings for you. that no matter what happened between the two of you, he still likes you, and he will love you if you let him.

you wince from the pain in your hips as you stood up. tired, naked bodies facing one another as you step towards him, reaching for his nape as you push yourself closer to him, your skin near touching his as he felt your breath.

“well…” you let out a small smile, “you got me wrapped around your finger, kang taehyun.”

you give him a peck on the kiss as you both looked at each other, memorizing each other as your finger trails his facial feature. all the frustration he had gotten from you and his match all dissipated. there is only care between you.

taehyun washes himself up as told by you while you help clean the room. there is a robe hanging by the bathroom door that he wants to wear, one part of a pair that you’re wearing while cleaning. behind the running water, he heard the door knock before someone opens it, hoping it was not one of his club friends. when he came out, he sees you in his sweater already ordered food from room service.

“eat up. you’re tired after the match and fucking. i don’t want you to die on me this early.” you jokingly said to him as you entered the bathroom. your messenger bag is on top of the table beside your discman that is open, seeing the cd mix he made for you inside it with a small first aid kit pack next to it.

after you both wash up and eat up—dressed in the robe from the bathroom—he sits on the floor as you pulled the upper part of his robe open and bring the first aid kit with you. putting on the antiseptic on his wounds as he observes your own. he sees you prepping for the bandage to be put on his much more open wounds. your eyes meticulously scan all over his face as he can’t take his stare off of the scabs on your finger.

“do you want me to patch you up, too?” he questioned. you look at where his eyesight is.

“it’s okay. all of them are already scabs.” he hums at your answer.

“how is it?” he asked as you put on a bandage on his cheekbone.

“you did well. i didn’t expect that you were struggling before i came.” you chuckle as you put a bandage on the bridge of his nose. “you beat the guy. so good for you.”

“hmm, yeah.” he nods as he let you finish patching him up.

“i almost failed to be here,” you spoke out as you lean back, both of you sitting on the floor as you closed and tidy his robe once again.

“i tried sneaking around, telling my sisters to help me, which they agree and luckily, ma’s not home since she went with her friends again.” you push your tongue into your cheek, “then pa found me.” you gaze at him from the corner of your eyes.

“i was scared shitless when i got caught. i don’t know shit about this town and sooyoung wanted to come with but she can’t drive a car even if she wants to drive pa’s caravan. so i realize from the deepest part of my heart that i’m not going to go.” you wrapped your arms around yourself, hugging yourself as you lean back against the mattress—following the boy.

“i spoke to him as best as i could. my papa doesn’t talk that much and his power plus influence stays underneath ma’s for most of my life. so, i don’t know what he’s thinking and what he’ll do. it came to my surprise when he offered to bring me here…” taehyun’s eyebrows raised.

“no way.”

“i know, right? so yeah, he brought me here and gave me pocket money. that’s why i can call room service and order us food.” you tuck your knees near your chest before putting your head on his shoulder. his hand reaches yours as he brought them to his lap, brushing it with his thumb.

“pa’s has been more forward towards us and sneaking up behind ma too. i never thought that day would happen…” he sees you from the corner of his eyes, a somber look on your face as you stare into the darkness in the hotel room.

“i’m happy he retaliates. i know little about him because ma always overshadows him and her grip on us—her grip on him too. it’s…” your head shakes on his shoulder.

“i still don’t get it. like why now? why not earlier? why hasn’t he been able to stand up against his wife who’s controlling the family and throws him aside too as she uses his hard-earn money for her expenses?” you groan before rubbing your face with your palm as he faces you to him, holding onto your robe-covered body as he stares into you, seeing all the confusion floating in you as a little star sits there in the middle. its light being pushed back from all of its shadows—the conflict, pain, and suffering in your life.

“love makes people do crazy things. i think your dad loves your mom so much that he hasn’t realized how much you suffer in your life. you told me that your family has a traditional view on gender roles, right?” you nodded to reply to him. “maybe he now realizes how your mom enforces it to all five of you is not helping, but hurting you instead.”

“not exactly but enforcing it, but she wants to make us a clone of her.” you right him and he nods as you return to the topic. “does it mean that he fell out of love with ma? because i don’t see it that way.” he chuckles after hearing your observation.

he remembered that halloween night as he pulls off his costume in his room, seeing the dodge caravan parked in your house’s carpark. seeing a silhouette of a man stumbling out of the driver’s seat as he approaches the front door before his body limps by the frame. he got chills that night, the first time he sees the parents of the sisters he adores not wearing his mysterious mask—his persona that he shows to people in the neighborhood.

“from what you’ve said to me in our chat room and what you’re telling me now. i don’t think it’s not because he fell out of love with your mom.” he cups your cheek as you gaze at him, eyes sparkling with stars littering in it; as if the entire world is on his palms. his entire world.

“i think it’s because his love for his children grew tenfold. when your dad cried that homecoming night, i have a sense that he’s guilty of something.” taehyun sensed something aching in his heart that differed greatly from the one has gone through before. yes, he has felt sad, angry, disgusted, terrified, and joyful. but this is the first time that when it’s tugging him, tears are forming in his eyes.

it is as if he is connected to you so much, he feels your pain, your stress, and how it has hurt you inside out. taehyun has never been this empathetic before, maybe once when euphoria surged in when his sister got into her dream college from the mail. taehyun sniffles his nose as you glance at him in concern, to which he replied with a small smile.

“i sense regret coming from him but also pride. proud to see his daughters growing up so well and regret to know that you all persevere without his help at all. cause, in my mind, he wanted to, but he can’t.” hearing his words, he sees you openly sob in front of him, letting him brush away the droplets of tears coming out—knowing his own will come out eventually.

“and i think he realized just how important you and your sisters are in his life. maybe much more than his wife.” the tears gather from the corner of his eyes, threatening to fall as he can’t keep up with his emotions again, letting his bearing soul connects with yours.

“and i think he realized how big his love is for his daughters.” he leans his forehead against you as he hears both of your sniffles. eyes open to look at yours as you regulate your breathing.

“like how big my love is for you.”

-

wait, what?

“huh?”

“you heard her, right?”

“what the fuck?”

“no way…” jiwoo said as she pushes the door closed. five of you are in your oldest sisters’ room, staring at each other. all of them looking stunned in their own different ways. you don’t believe that this has happened. hyejoo has anger inside her eyes. jiwoo wanted to cry out if she can’t hold on much longer. chaewon’s eyes are empty. sooyoung looks much more tired when the frown overcomes her face.

“is that why she went out so much these past few months? trying to find the right people to be our husbands?” hyejoo breaks the silence.

you caught it right. mama is arranging all five of your marriages with her friends’ sons. you wanted to throw up and crawled yourself out of your skin from how unbelievable she is.

winter break doesn’t have to be any worse than what've you faced. the start of a new year doesn’t have to be like this. mama didn’t even have an arranged marriage with papa, why does she want it now? for wealth? status? ego? you don’t know. what you recognize is that she is playing her pawns—all five of you—and putting them in places that benefit her and she’s the only one that got the benefit out of them.

“hey, hey, hyejoo. please…” sooyoung reaches out towards her sister, wrinkles forming between her eyebrows before she brought her younger sister into an embrace.

“she fucking ruined everything.” your triplet said into your sister’s shoulder as you gnaw the inside of your mouth. you glance at jiwoo who has a rare scowl on her face and chaewon who has a pillow in her arms. the tension builds in the room as nobody talks. even sooyoung—the usual mediator—can’t say anything, eyes getting emptier as she succumbed to the pressure before holding onto hyejoo tighter.

“okay…” you’re the one brave enough to cut the silence. “you heard what she said. she arranged partners for all of us and we know who they are. she said they are her friends’ children. i, for certain, don’t agree with any bullshit she’s doing. but…” i need to talk to taehyun, your thought cuts you off. but you look towards the desk that only has specks of dust on it. no humming can be picked up. the last device you own to communicate with anyone—other than the home telephone—is gone.

when you call home from the hotel room for papa to pick you up—he was the one to tell you to call the previous day, you thought he or one of your sisters was the one that picks up the phone. that’s when you find out her voice and froze up, cutting the line as fast as you can as long beep echoes in the room. you turn your head towards taehyun who is in the other bed, awake enough to realize the expression on your face.

“take me home with you, please.“

she was furious when she found out you went out to be with taehyun—no other explanation is necessary before she scolds you as she usually does. yet, that day was different,

that day when you come home was the first time more than you and hyejoo had protested against her explicitly. droplets of blood were flying to the floor as your sisters looked at it in horror. you were furious with your unlucky streak before your sisters stepped forward. hyejoo pushes to stand in front of you as jiwoo holds your face, scratches with blood flowing on your cheek because of the rings on mama’s fingers when she slaps you. chaewon tried to hold mama down, but she also got pushed to the floor. sooyoung was the one to calm her from her raging fit at you. instead, words are flying about how a terrible daughter and sister she is for not following what the matriarch told her and not keeping her sister intact.

papa stood on the sideline near the stairs as he sees everything in the living room, your torn tank top on the strap that you should hold up to not expose your torso, your bleeding cheek that jiwoo is cleaning up, and your broken discman that is split into two from mama’s stomp, empty of any cd. as your sisters and mother argue, you turn towards papa who has a grim look on his face before his wife calls for him. eyes glance up at his wife with trembles that the others don’t recognize—you were the closest to have noticed and your eyes have trembled like him too.

you cowered when your mother tells all of you to shut it, hearing the heavy steps above you as you see the only desktop all you and your sister has a collective being brought down to the garage, the sticky notes all of you have put on still sticks to the frame. one by one, he brought down the pieces of the machine you used to communicate with other people outside of the house.

“once winter break comes: no leaving the house. no land telephone. no communication outside of the home.“

as the two weeks before winter break that is full of exams has come, you didn’t speak with anyone—your sisters also didn’t as all of you are rattled by the bomb that was dropped at home. you give taehyun a shake of your head when he tried to approach you. not right now. you hope he gets your message as he nods before walking away. you spend your time at school listening to the noise you didn’t notice before, the sound of the rustling leaves as they died to prepare for the snow, the scratchy voices of people at school talking, and the chirping of birds flying in the sky.

when the first snow falls, you and chaewon enviously looked outside the window to the children of your neighborhood welcoming the falling snow. hands and feet hurting from all the lessons you got both ballet and musical instruments—the last classes before winter break were yesterday. you watch girls and boys opening their arms as the snow falls on them, seeing the white particles on their clothes. the new family with their toddler child introduces the snow to the little one, playing in it with the mother and father. as you breathe out, you can see the air droplets you let out from the dropping temperature.

she has taken your freedom from all of you. you will not be surprised if she pulled all five of you out of school during winter break so you all have to be homeschooled with, of course, her.

you didn’t communicate to taehyun verbally during winter break. the last time you saw him was when he walked home from training, a gym bag on his shoulder from the match he told you about before, one near the end of the year as he pushes into the quarter-finals with his matches. but he caught you from the window, giving a wave as specks of snow are on his dark hair—glasses fogged because of his breath.

“do we wanna do this?” you said to them before looking at your anklets that held on until this day. “do we want to end our lives together?”

all of your sisters are silent hearing your implication. the pact that you made between the five of you has held onto all of you so tight that even thinking of it makes you have to tell them. it tells them you don’t want to exist in this world anymore. and at this time and in this situation, you might be happier if you’re not.

“no.”

“don’t.”

“no…”

“we’re not.”

your sisters’ rejection filled your ears as you can’t hold back the corner of your mouth from lifting. though, rationally, you said “yes” to it anytime so that your suffering ends. deep beneath your heart, a “no” always lingers. and for this life you have been living for the past six months, the “no” has grown and rivalled the “yes”. the realization of it waters your eyes as you watch your sisters glance at one another.

“then all of us have something to hold on to stay alive,” you spoke your mind as you brushed the tears that are falling down the apples of your cheek. opening your arms, chaewon knocks out your breath by hugging you first. the pillow stayed between the two of you as your other sisters gather and make a group hug—the sobs and sniffles filling the cold room.

pushing them away with your might, your sisters giggled as sooyoung gather you into a circle putting your right foot where the anklet sits to the middle, joining toes together. you glance at all four of your sisters as they let out chuckles before hyejoo pushes the ones beside her forward as all of you follow to connect your head together.

“hold on tight.” sooyoung said.

“love each other.” jiwoo added.

“we can do it.” chaewon spoke.

“fuck them up.” hyejoo exclaimed.

“stay alive, pixies,” you mumbled before the circle dispersed.

on christmas morning, you didn’t expect a feast to be put at the dining table as you all look at it, bewildered. mama stands at her end of the table while papa is doing work in his office in the house. the house doesn’t even have a christmas tree or decorations themed around it as you got even more confused when mama gave each of you a present in a box. opening it, you see a beautiful gown and a matching pair of elbow-length gloves that you know comes from a fashion house, judging by sooyoung’s gasp as she viewed it. it has a similar shape to the homecoming dress you wore, but the fabric is velvet—much more expensive than what you wore. you stare at it before looking at your sisters’, seeing how they are the same, but the dark colors are different; from purple-based to green-based.

“on the 31st, we’re going to the ball i told you. at it, you’ll meet the suitors i have picked for each of you.“ you glance at the end of the table as you don’t want to react out loud from her gift. you don’t want to react to satisfy her ego.

“remember, make me proud. and be glad that i found you husbands who are as handsome and rich as our family.“

‘will they make me happy? you wanted to comment, but she command you to eat the food in front of you. you glance at chaewon who is sitting across from you behind the clinking sound of the fork meeting the plate. her wrists exposed the scars from her coping ways—the lines are much thicker than you remembered but not deep enough to bleed out like last time. her eyes took glances at your matriarch who is having fun by herself with her new cell phone before returning to you, the first time you see her rolling her eyes in disgust almost making you splutter the meal you eat. even the softest of five of you is done with her antics.

when the night of the 31st came, you heard a vehicle starting outside as you fixed your dress. a little tighter for your liking, but it looks modern enough for the 90s and regal at the same time—regal is what mama likes people to call everything about her.

you stared out the window as sooyoung is fixing your dress, seeing the caravan not in its place. all of you are helping one another in each of your outfits when you helped in spraying the perfume and jiwoo fixing your concealer. hyejoo is fixing sooyoung’s hair while chaewon fixed the accessories. the clock hand is close to 10 at night—the time you need to go. you never celebrated new year’s eve but you’ve seen the festivities before from the tv to the fireworks outside your window.

in the car that your mom is driving with her high heels; much more luxurious and modern compared to the caravan, you sit in the backseat with all three of your sisters whilst chaewon—still her golden child—sits at the front. your shoulder rubbed against sooyoung’s as you stare out of the car window beside you, letting your eyes gaze at the jungle full of towers high above and touching clouds. you realized mama brought you downtown to a place that is supposed to be for your social class—that she’s the one being benefitted the most from your family. it is s a ball, as she reminded you.

you see, down the streets, people preparing to close the road for the festivity. you knew this year’s new year’s eve is special as all of you who are alive are entering a new era. a new year, a new decade, a new century, and a new millennium. the 2000s.

the pressure is real when you faced that daunting fact, that for everybody alive currently: the 2000s is something new and they are the ones that are going to build on it. people are crowding the street going to places like pubs with live music that you haven’t gone to in a long time. you wished you still do because you love music and you wished you still have your discman with you as mama is putting on a radio station that is playing christmas songs. you want to return to listen to exciting guitar riffs and unique voices again.

the car stops in front of a lobby of a large building with people all around it. the butlers in suits open the door and offer you a hand as you stand up, waiting for all of your sisters to come out as you were met with cameras all over you. this is a real deal, you thought—scared of being bombarded by one. but when you look at your eldest sister’s face, she’s living it. the valet drives the car away as you climb up the stairs into a foyer with mama at the front—looking like the ducklings that followed their mother duck you saw in an illustration from your elementary school biology textbook.

the sparkling ballroom full of people and chandeliers blinded your eyes as it has been a long time since you’d been to one of these balls—the last time was before you enter your first year in high school. her group of friends immediately greeted mama, the ones you knew as her friends back in her school years—seungmin’s mother was a weird detail you notice. you let out a smile along with your sisters as your mama’s friends greet and compliment all of you. you were glad you didn’t shriek in surprise when one of them has a chihuahua in their purse or one of them pinch your cheek until it hurts.

five of her friends are left standing by her side, all of them—you recognize—having sons. you stood with hyejoo beside you, seeing her clenching her dress fabric. it scares you that she will tear it; not that she cared about it. they all talked to mama before glancing at each of you one by one.

“are we going to meet our “suitors”?" her hands raised to make quotation marks, making you giggle in this horrible situation all of you are in.

“i think so. you didn’t expect to be paired out with freaking liu yangyang, right?”

“how about you with that lad, jay park-“

“don’t remind me, hye.” you shush her up as you see yangyang and jay’s mothers approaching both of you. you went back into your previous posture and give a small smile as you greet both women.

“let me bring you to jay, sweetie.” she giggled as she took you away from your sisters, all of you separated in different directions as you strode on the carpeted floors. you then find a boy that is talking with a girl, a smirk don on his face before his mother taps him to stop their conversation. he subtly pushes the girl away before turning to you and you already know his infamous playboy behavior is out and about tonight. you didn’t even believe he was as young as you and heard many rumors of him switching girls every two months on average.

“jay. you’ve met (y/n) before.” his mother said to him as you see him squint his eyes, a look you recognize coming from him as he grabs your gloved hand in his.

“moon (y/n).”

“jay park,” you replied similarly.

“i will leave you two to bond.” mrs. park says as she gives you a wink before blending into the crowds.

“whatever bond is,” you mumbled.

“i can show you what bond is.” you heard the boy flirt as you pulled your hand out of his grasp, timidly holding it beside you.

“uh… can we go grab something to eat?” you rub your stomach beneath your dress. “i’m starving.”

“of course.” he then guides you to the buffet table as you search around, seeing a few people you’ve recognized since you were little all grown up. you tried to get as much food as you can because of reasons: 1. mama added more to your food limitations since she scolded you for going past curfew—meaning that you forget how some food tastes; and 2. you want to disgust the man? boy? whoever he classified himself from you by eating like a pig. surely, it won’t be attractive to have a “wife” like this.

“so, where do you go to school?” you talked to him as you eat while he grabs an alcoholic-looking drink that you know he wasn’t supposed to drink.

“a boarding school for the rich. i thought you went there ‘cause you smell like money.” he tried to flirt with you again as you nod.

“i don’t go there.” you almost burp out as you tried to digest all the food you put on your plate. “different school. a public one.” he hums as he sips before he puts his drink, grabbing a plate of strawberry-covered chocolate that he tried to eat seductively.

“i also know about your don juan? lothario ways?” you squint your eyes as you watch his reaction.

“i prefer to call it casanova. but keep going.”

you leaned back before continuing with your words. “and you go to boarding school so…”

you see him smirk while chewing his strawberry, wiping the chocolate coming out of his mouth before saying, “i fucked almost all girls there…”

then and there, you almost vomited out your food as you heard him giggling behind you. a subtle disgust is on your face when you turn to him as you pick yourself up. “almost all?” you questioned.

“yeah with students, below me, the same year, above me, teacher-“ you cut his tangent from your hearing as you ignore him flaunting on sticking his dick inside any women he sees at his school. you rubbed the crumbs from the corner of your lips—careful for your makeup cause mama will come back into her fury mode if she sees a small smudge. the boy talks away as he looks somewhere else, a perfect time for you to slip away into the crowd.

you find a buffet table for drinks as you grab yourself a small glass of water before chugging it into you, feeling the liquid refreshing your esophagus as the last time you drank was before you prepare to come here. holding the glass close to your lips, you view the lipstick mark on the side before you wipe it away with your fingers. your eyes wander around the room, trying to locate your sisters with the boys mama assigned them to. trailing and trailing at the sea of heads when you see someone, your hand froze up as you try not to let the grip of the glass go but not too hard to make it shatter in your hand.

kang taehyun.

he’s wearing an all-black ensemble with a turtleneck right beneath his coat. the glasses sit on his face perfectly and his dark hair has gel in them, letting him style it with his forehead exposed.

what is he doing here?

you put the glass on the table for dirty dishes before you walk on the floor, eyes focused on him. people seem to understand you’re passing by, dispersing so that you can reach him easier. taehyun seems to sense it too when he turns and sees you, a smirk forming on his face. when you reached him, you pat his shoulders before he held your hand against his heart.

“it’s you, right? i’m not dreaming?” you murmured. you can feel it beating beneath the layers between your skin and his skin.

“it’s me.”

you hug him, wrapping your hands to pull him close to you as he puts his hands on your waist—he knows because you’ve hugged and held each other so much. you pull away, letting your gloved hand caress his cheek.

“what are you doing here?” he holds on while he looks at the crowd behind you. the lights are getting dimmer. you can pick up slow jazz playing, letting people dance if they want to.

“i’m taking you away with me,” he spoke out.

“what?” he grabbed onto your hand and pulled you out of the ballroom.

“w- what about my sisters? they’re still in there-“

“their partners have brought them out too,” he explained as you try to keep up with him. seeing the lobby, he brought you down the stairs into the cold street of the downtown area. you heard the explosions of fireworks all around as you walk down the pavement—as carefully as you can because of the heels you’re wearing. the exposed skin along your shoulder can’t combat the cold. hearing you loudly hiss, taehyun offers his blazer for you to wear—buttoning it up so it doesn’t make you much colder.

“how did you find me there? what’s happening?” you genuinely asked. everything is moving behind your back and you don’t like it. you don’t recognize anyone that is as meticulous in planning a heist as this.

for the answer, taehyun pulled out a folded paper from his pant pocket, nudging it to you. you stop underneath a hanging roof of a restaurant, the dim lights coming inside and christmas-themed lights around you help you read out loud taehyun’s handwriting, which you realized aren’t his words.

hello, my daughters.

i know that this is a sudden message to be told, but i’m hoping that each one of you is with a person who you trusted and i also trusted. sooyoung with juyeon, (y/n) with taehyun, hyejoo with sunwoo, chaewon with seungmin, and jiwoo with gyuri as kai had spoken to me—no matter your circumstance, jiwoo, you will always be my daughter.

i’ve sent them here to get you out of the ball that your mama has brought you. i know she didn’t ask for your permission to go and for setting all of you up for marriage. i’m aware she is trying to exert her power on all of you for the last time this year. with the start of the new year, a new decade, a new century, and a new millennium, i hope you will forgive me for not being the best father in your life. i will settle this down during your winter break with your mama and i hope that all of you will be safe wherever you will be for the break.

i love all of you so much and i will reach for you when i’m done or when i need you.

love. papa.

both of your hands hold onto the paper, goosebumps rising underneath the coat. biting your lip, you swipe your tears that haven’t fallen out as you read it one more time to get the words right.

he cares, and he loves you.

“how did you get this?” you mumbled, rubbing your nose because of the dry cold air and tears forming.

“your dad contacted us through aim messenger after a few days after we went home. he told everything to us about what all of you are going through and he needed someone to protect you for the time being. he made a plan to bring us to the ball and pick all of you up as he prepares something behind the scene. he didn’t say much else out of that, but he said he wanted to help you find your happiness after the escalation back home.”

you looked down at the letter, reading the last few words from it as you grab taehyun’s hand, keeping him near you. is that why he has disappeared so much? is that why he has been in his office most of the time? he’s in there trying to help all of you and helping himself too. you wanted to join in on the fight with him and you could read your sisters’ minds that they also want to be with him. but based on the letter, all you have to do is to trust him and trust the preparation he has done to execute.

“i know you agree with this. but i don’t want to be a burden to you and your family. your sister might come home for the break, right? i don’t want to bother her rest with my presence.” you said as you lean your head against his chest, his arm wrapped behind you.

“my parents rent a cottage in a rural village for winter break. i told my family about your situation from your dad and more from the stories you told me. they agree for you to be there.” taehyun said in your ears as the fireworks explode more and more. “and they agree that you need time to heal and you won’t be if you’re in your house.”

you look up at his face when you heard people all around you counting down. your eyes stick to one of the tvs that are playing in the restaurant as the number goes down. people standing and gathering as they stared at the countdown, hands holding a drink of their choice, a few of them wearing glasses with frames that spell the number 2000 on them. as it gets closer, you can hear them counting down loudly from the inside.

3!

fireworks explosions filled the outside as you take a glimpse above the hanging roof, lights sparkling in the dark sky more and more.

2!

your head turns towards the boy as both of you give a knowing smile.

1!

you lean in and kiss him. his hands hold onto you more and you tilt his head, feeling the lips you have missed. the exploding lights and bustling people inside the pub filling your ears with excitement.

pulling away, you glance at him as he glances at you. a certain confidence in his eyes combines with loveliness.

“happy new year, my pixie.”

“happy new year, my silly boy.”

both of you chuckled as you stare at the restaurant, seeing the people sitting back down and fried foods being served on the tables by the servers.

“you want to grab a table?” taehyun asked as he follows your sight.

“we can?” you took a glimpse to see him nod. a grin growing on your face as you drag him, opening the restaurant’s door.

“you have to tell me how your match went…”

the two of you enter the restaurant as the firework extravaganza continues. celebrating a new chapter of everyone’s life, including you and taehyun.

the moon sisters disappeared on the first day of january in the year 2000.

-

“so, that is how you two met...”

taehyun stares across the dining table to view the pre-teen girl leaning against it. her hands playing with the fork on the table.

“i left out gory details because i don’t want your sisters to know now.” taehyun replied. the sun shines brightly into their house as they eat for the first time in the new year.

it is the first of january of the year 2023 when taehyun tells a story to his three daughters during breakfast. the girls are wearing matching pajamas in different sizes.

his oldest, jihye, is the one that sticks to the words he said the most—because she is the one that asked how he and their mom met.

jihyo, the middle child, is focused on playing mario kart 8 deluxe on the nintendo switch.

and the youngest, jihyun, is hugging her precious teddy bear while holding a handle of a small sippy cup full of chocolate milk.

“is that why mom is a, a p- peu- peusychologish?” his youngest asked, sipping the milk from a straw near her lips.

taehyun chuckled when he listened to his child trying to pronounce her mom’s career. a presence lingers beside him when he heard the chair scraping on the wooden floor and sees plates of pancakes with various toppings on them.

“that’s right, bear, that is why i’m a peusychologish.” he glimpses to see you, his wife, standing beside him, wearing a grey tank top that matches his grey t-shirt. you step behind your daughters’ seats to bring the pancakes for each of them. his heart still beats the same for the last 23 years since the two of you met.

you are now a proud child psychologist while he is a retired professional boxer turned boxing coach. he boxes away to national and even international championships while you learn to help children face things that are beyond their understanding. you still play the guitar from time to time, even playing it in your sessions. he remembered when he went home from one of his matches to see you having a session in your office with a child younger than your youngest. you were playing your guitar—finger-picking style—and he sees the child who looks at you, eyes sparkling as the music plays in the room, before hugging your knees, making the caretaker giggle.

as you meet the new millennium, you knew from what happened in your past—and from the way you still watched svu until today—that you want to help other people who face hardships like you do. you were glad that you were given an opportunity to do so and grab them when it’s your time.

when picking a major for university, you were confused if you want to pick psychology or criminology—two of them are nearly the same where one focuses more on criminal psychology. other than the crime shows you watched, you’re curious because of what you have experienced with your mother. so when you realized you have to choose between helping people like her to reform or helping your inner child, taehyun is your beacon and came to the rescue with his opinion. you choose your inner child first because if you are treating children, you also treat your inner child.

you also didn’t expect to have daughters all the times you’ve gotten pregnant as your sisters have sons with each of their partners. with that, you’ve tried your best not to emulate the worst things about your mother to them, learning also from your mother-in-law how to raise a child the good way.

“i also wanna ask.” jihyo exclaimed as all of you consumed your food at the dining table. “is that why grandpa is alone?”

at winter break in the year 2000, when all of you and your sisters disappear from the face of the earth for a few weeks, papa fights your mother in court. he told all of you how he has collected evidence upon evidence of your mother’s physical and emotional abuse towards him and all of you for the past 20 years they are married. he said it’s enough for one case. but more evidence comes out when in the six months you live in that house, she is also cheating with a younger man.

you remembered holding onto chaewon’s hand when a family law attorney papa hired called you for an interview. trembling hands as you shook her hand and jitters crawling down your skin, she turned out to be the most caring person you’ve known back then. you remembered seeing her eyes glisten when you tell how you want to end your life because of your mother’s deeds, showing her scratch marks on your cheek from when she slapped you until you bleed. after a week passed by with no messages, she asked all of you if you rather live with your mother or papa. all of you unanimously said papa rather than her.

when winter break ends and you went back home to your household, the divorce has been settled. even though she got most of the money—because she is a woman without a job—papa got custody of his daughters. all of you settle into your new home a few blocks away from your previous one, letting her live her life in that house alone before she moves in with her younger lover. taehyun seems upset with the turn of events, but he was just glad that you are settled with your domestic life.

“grandpa is not alone. he lives with auntie chae and uncle seungmin.” jihye tells jihyo as she gave both of you a smile.

“that’s right. and by the way, we will meet them at auntie soo’s house for lunch. so finish your breakfast and take a shower after this, okay?”

“okay, mom.” the girls said as they devour the pancakes. you turn to taehyun as he smiles at you with food in his cheeks. the way his glasses sits on the button of his nose, making you push it up.

when jihye volunteers to wash the dishes as her sisters prepare to go to bathe, you drink your coffee with taehyun, staring at the back garden of your house in peace. the wall where the glass door leading to it stood with two empty spaces on both right and left—where both of you put your precious items there. taehyun’s medals and belts are on one side, newspapers and magazine clippings of him in the ring with his belt hanging on the corkboard you put. the other side is you put your music players and cds, seeing the albums you love now in physical form to hand down to your descendants, a few of them are cd mixes seulgi gave to you back in the early 90s and the special cd mix taehyun gave to you.

“i’m so glad i stick with you for 20 years and more.” taehyun heard you said, you have a raspier voice that he swoon about because of your age—and from the cigarettes too.

“i will be glad to stick with you even until the world ends, pixie,” he replied, making you let out a grunt.

“stop with the pixie nickname, okay? it feels different when you’re hearing it at 40 years old.” both of you chuckled as you stand up and wash your cups. taehyun lets out a smile for the life he made with you before joining you in the kitchen, drying away the dishes, and putting them back into the right place.

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[sugolara]

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙙𝙖𝙮

ft. Tomura Shigaraki x fem! reader

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“You suck at this!” F/n laughed at Shigaraki as she held an arcade gun and killed the male multiple times. The male next to her scowled as he raised his gun closer to his face and peeked out the scope as he aimed at F/n’s character, “That’s not fair, you’re camping, you camper!” 

“Don’t blame me cause you suck at this!” The girl exclaimed with a grin as she shot Shigaraki’s character.

A few kids watched the two play. They were amazed at how Shigaraki had 18 and F/n had 20 kills. Some kids waited for their turn but left when F/n and Shigaraki kept replaying. 

The arcade was loud as it was filled with children screaming and laughing. The blaring music made it hard to hear but it was suitable for the arcade as it blended in with the kids having fun. The arcade was also dirty as half eaten pizza and soda cups littered all over the floor. Coins were dropped as well as tickets and candy wrappers.

“Please, suck at this?” Shigaraki grinned, “How much you wanna bet I’ll catch up and beat your score?”

“Pshh, you wish, but,” F/n thought for a moment then continued, “I’ll bet on our tickets. You win, you keep mine and if I win the same deal.”

“Alright.” Shigaraki pulled his arcade gun near his face and once again peeped through the scope, “Deal.”

The two then gunned each other down while muttering curses as they died. The countdown in the middle made their hearts race as they had limited time to defeat each other. 

F/n took a step back as the screen began to give her a headache. The liquor from the party clattered inside her bag as she moved. Shigaraki also took a step back as the screen made his eyes squint. His eyes also began to water as he hadn’t blinked, to focus on hunting F/n down.

Eventually, Shigaraki blinked and caused him to die, leaving F/n to win. The girl raised her arms and grinned while Shigaraki grunted, putting his arcade gun into the slot. 

“How ‘bout that!” F/n said as she also put her gun in the slot. 

The screen on Shigaraki’s side went red with the word game over and blood oozing down, “Whatever, you just got lucky.”

F/n placed her hands towards Shigaraki, “Tickets my good sir.”

Reluctantly, the male fished out his tickets and placed them in her hand. He then rolled his eyes as the girl grinned at him and began to walk away, presumingly to where the prizes resided. 

Reaching the counter, F/n placed her tickets down then pointed to the small water guns, “Two.”

The employee checked the tickets and then nodded as she turned to grab the toy. She handed it to F/n with a polite smile. 

The h/c haired girl handed a red water gun to Shigaraki as she kept the blue one. They headed to the front of the arcade where they sat on a bus stop. F/n reached into her backpack and pulled out the liquor from the party.

“You still have that?” Shigaraki asked as he eyed the golden flakes floating. 

“Duh.” F/n said as she began to pour the liquor into her water gun, “I checked online and apparently there like a grand–well maybe less than that but it’s expensive. Why let it go to waste?”

She passed the bottle to her friend and he inspected it before doing the same. He looked up as he heard the water gun make a small noise. He dead panned as he saw F/n squirting the liquor into her mouth. 

When he finished, he passed the bottle back to the girl and the two made their way to a nearby park. Shigaraki took a sip of the liquor and grimaced, “This shit is nasty.”

“I know but I’m not letting this go to waste.” F/n said as they arrived at the park. “Let's fill this up with water.”

Shigaraki shook his head but followed after her. They filled the gun with water. While Shigaraki filled his, he felt a tiny splash on his cheeks and instantly shot a look at F/n. The girl grinned but quickly covered her face as Shigaraki shot her with water. 

The two chuckled and began spraying each other as they ran onto the playground chasing each other. F/n had slipped near the steps which made Shigaraki laugh but was shutted down with water shooting in his mouth. He choked a bit as F/n laughed. 

The male chased her as they both jumped off the playground and got back up. With F/n panting near the slide, she hadn’t noticed Shigaraki coming up behind and eventually shooting her. F/n gasped as the action caught her off guard and made her slip falling on the slide. 

Shigaraki managed to grab her hand with his pinkies up. F/n smiled but she forced a desperate look, “Don’t let go, Rose.”

Shigaraki stared at her for a second before smiling, “I’ll never let go, Jack.”

He then released her hand and watched as F/n slowly slid down the slide leaving a loud screech as she slid. He stood up and took a step back but a small puddle laid beneath him causing him to eventually fall down the slide harshly and landing on F/n’s back. 

“Ow.” F/n said as she lifted her head away from the bark. 

Shigaraki gripped his head, “That hurts.”

The two laid there instead of getting up. Although they were in pain, their smiles never left their faces and neither did their beating hearts. They can handle the pain.