#where in the world did people get the idea that eren is abusive?!

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Endure XII: Rage

Series Synopsis: You and Eren Jaeger have been best friends since the age of two, but the two of you are destined for an inevitable tragedy. The world you have been born into is cruel; it is one where friends are traitors and enemies are allies, one where you find yourself doubting everything you've ever known. In this life, mistakes are fatal, and you must be careful, lest you make one too many.

Chapter Synopsis: The walls of Trost are breached, and you are faced with a horrific loss.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Female Reader, Armin Arlert x Female Reader

Chapter Word Count: 4.7k

Content Warnings: swearing, canon-typical violence, sexual abuse (non-explicit), major character death, angst, original characters included

“I can’t believe I’m stuck doing this with you of all people,” Jean grumbled as you passed him a wrench. He banged it against the gate aimlessly, and you smacked him upside the head.

“You’re not fooling anyone when you do that, you know. And for what it’s worth, I don’t want to be here with you, either. I’d much rather be up with Tullia and Eren checking the cannons or something, not repairing a gate that isn’t even broken,” you said, pulling out a screwdriver and giving it a confused look.

“Right? It’s literally perfectly fine! This is just busy work,” Jean said.

“That much we can agree on. Well, whatever. This is just the last thing we have to do, and tomorrow we’ll have picked our branches and will never see each other again. I’m assuming you’re still going for the MPs?” you said, discarding the screwdriver with a sigh, deciding you weren’t going to get any meaningful use out of it.

“Of course I am, and you should too. Look, it isn’t like I care about whether you live or not, but joining the Scouts is a dangerous idea. Seriously, consider the MPs, yeah? It would be a shame for you to become a titan snack, if only because we all know how insufferable Jaeger would become. Sina, he’s already annoying and angry all of the time, I bet he’d just become worse. Do us all a favor, you hear me?” he said.

“I’m sorry, Jean, but my heart is set on the Scouts. You should join, too. You’re the most irritating person I’ve ever met, but I can’t deny that you are talented. If you ever tell anyone this, I’ll deny it, but...you’re really strong, and a good leader, too. You’re the kind of person that could change the world. Even if you did rank below me,” you said.

“You really think that about me? I’m nothing spectacular compared to, say, Armin or Mikasa or you or Tullia,” he said. You looked around, making sure nobody was around to see what you were going to do next before you hugged him.

“Maybe that’s what makes you so great. Now, like I said, never speak of this again. But remember it,” you said, letting go of him hastily and brushing yourself off. Jean seemed like he was processing your words before he nodded.

“Thanks, Y/N. For what it’s worth...you’re the kind of person that could change the world too,” he said.

Coming from Jean, this was high praise. You knew that he meant it, because Jean was brutally honest. He was not the sort to lie about things to make someone feel better, especially not to you. A compliment from Jean was hard-earned and always well-deserved, and so you accepted it with a smile on your face.

“You know what I’ve always wondered?” you said to Jean after a few moments.

“No, I do not,” Jean said.

“Why do they do it? The titans? Why do they eat people? It’s not like they need to. What’s more, why did the Colossal and Armored only break down Wall Maria? Like, why not go all of the way?” you said, your hands on your hips.

“Why are you thinking about that? Happy thoughts, Y/N! Happy thoughts!” Jean said, snapping in your face. You blinked.

“Sorry, Trost just reminds me of Shiganshina a lot, that’s all. I wonder what I’d be doing right now if it hadn’t happened. Probably talking to Dr. Jaeger, I suppose. I was going to work with him when I grew up. I wanted to be a doctor,” you said. Jean began to laugh at this.

“You can’t tell me there isn’t some sort of irony in the girl that wanted to heal people becoming a soldier,” he said when you frowned at him.

“Well, I guess it is pretty silly, but what other choice did I have?” you said.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. This whole world, it’s pretty shit, isn’t it?” Jean said.

A warm breeze blew your hair back as you stared at the looming gate in silence. The two of you, alone as you faced the walls, the bright sun hitting your faces.

“Yeah,” you agreed, “It is.”

And so it proved itself to be, as the face that haunted your nightmares, the face that took your family and your home and your future from you, that walls-damned face appeared again. The Colossal Titan stared down at you and Jean, and you screamed in terror.

“Y/N!” Jean shouted, “We have to get out of here before —”

Just like he had five years ago, the Colossal Titan kicked down the gate. You froze as the world came crashing down around you.

Had it not been for Jean’s quick thinking, you would have been killed by debris. The boy swept you into his arms before sprinting a safe distance away and engaging his ODM gear to take to the rooftops.

“He’s back, Jean, he’s back, he’s back,” you said, sobbing. This was it. This was the end of all humanity. If Wall Rose fell, there was no way you’d all be able to survive. Trost was gone, and it was only a matter of time before your old friend, the Armored Titan, appeared.

“Yeah, you really jinxed us there, Miss ‘Why-Didn’t-They-Go-All-The-Way.’ Let’s get back to Headquarters. I’m sure the higher ups have a plan! They must be prepared for this sort of thing,” he said, patting you on the shoulder and setting you on your feet.

“You think so?” you said, wiping away your tears. He nodded firmly.

“I know so. Come on, let’s make sure our friends are alright,” he said.

Your friends. Eren and Tullia had been up on the wall, had come face to face with the Colossal Titan himself. They were okay, they had to be okay, there was no way they were dead.

You and Jean jetted off towards Headquarters at record speed. Your panic caused you to push beyond every reserve of energy you had, use every last bit of gas in your canisters, until you landed in the courtyard of Headquarters where your fellow members of the 104th were milling about.

“Guys! Y/N and Jean are back!” Connie said.

“What the hell took you guys so long?” Tullia demanded, tackling Jean in a hug. He held her tightly, rubbing her back.

“We were by the gate when it fell, so we had to avoid the debris and stuff,” he said smoothly. You shot him a grateful look for not exposing your crying fit, and he gave you a grim smile. Even if you didn’t get along, you had each other’s backs.

“Are you okay?” Eren said.

“I’m fine, thanks to Jean. What about you? Did you do anything reckless? Actually, dumb question. What reckless thing did you do?” you said.

“He engaged with the Colossal Titan!” Sasha said from where Mikasa was checking her over for injuries.

“Almost had him, too, before the bastard disappeared,” Eren muttered.

“Disappeared?” you said.

“Into thin air,” he said.

“The hell? How does something that big just poof, vanish?” Jean said.

“Don’t know, but that’s what it did,” Sasha said, “Samuel almost died, but I caught him in time. Other than that, I think we’re all okay, for now at least.”

Mikasa kissed her on top of the head, “I’m glad. You guys could’ve...well, either way, you were all extremely brave.”

“Mikasa’s right. Facing the Colossal Titan and not freezing immediately? That’s incredible,” you said. Eren shrugged.

“I had to get revenge for what he did to Shiganshina. He took my mother from me. He almost took you from me,” he said.

“Still...” you trailed off before shaking your head and deciding it didn’t matter, “Anyways, does anybody have a clue what’s going on?”

“They sent an advance team of Garrison veterans out to deal with the titans. I expect they’ll hold them off until the civilians can evacuate, at which point we’ll attempt to seal the breach, though the only thing large enough to block the hole is that one boulder in the center of town, and no way can we move that thing! It’s huge,” Armin said.

“Oh, I’ve seen that thing around before! Yeah, it is huge. Like really-fucking-huge,” Jean said.

“Not helping morale here, Jean,” you said as Daz began to throw up. Krista rubbed his back soothingly and began to coo soft words of comfort at him, though it didn’t do much as he continued to retch.

“Soldiers, I regret to inform you all that the advance team has been wiped out. This means that we who are here now are the only ones left to defend Trost until such a time as the civilians can be completely evacuated! I will be assigning you all to squads. The cadets will be in the vanguard, taking care of the titans, while the remaining veterans will be in the rear guard to aid in evacuation. Remember that desertion is considered treason and is therefore punishable with death!” Captain Woermann shouted.

“Oh, Sina,” Jean muttered.

“We’re all going to die!” Daz wailed before dry heaving, the contents of his stomach having already exited a long time ago. Krista looked distressed but stayed with him, her celeste blue eyes wide and her delicate nose wrinkled at the stench of vomit. You gave her a sympathetic wince, and she frowned back at you in exasperation. The small moment of solidarity with the girl you barely spoke to felt nice, and so did seeing that she was a human with normal emotions, not some sort of untouchable goddess.

“Guys, come on, we’re not all going to die. Statistically, at least one of us will survive,” you said.

“Oh, wow, Y/N, real helpful!” Samuel snapped.

“Samuel, you don’t even have to fight, what with your injured foot and all of that. What are you so upset about?” Thomas Wagner said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“You think I tried to get injured on purpose just so I could get out of doing our duty?” Samuel said.

“Wouldn’t put it past you,” Milieus Zeremski said snarkily, crossing his arms.

“Says you! You’re scared of Y/N when she’s hangry!” Samuel said.

“I DON’T GET HANGRY!” you said.

“Why couldn’t the titans have waited one more day? I’d be safe in the interior by then!” Jean groaned, covering his ears in distress.

“All of you, shut up! Samuel, everyone knows you didn’t get hurt on purpose. Y/N, yes, you do get hangry. Daz, we’re not all going to die. Jean, the interior will still be there for you tomorrow!” Tullia said.

“Tullia is right. We made it through our training, didn’t we? We’re prepared to take these ugly fuckers on! All of us survived everything that Shadis put us through. We just need to do it again, for one more day,” Eren said.

“You make it sound real-fucking-easy,” Jean said.

“That’s because it is. Look, if I could survive the fall of Shiganshina as a ten year old, we can all survive this as highly trained soldiers,” you said.

“Oddly, that does make me feel better,” Milieus admitted.

“True. If baby Y/N could do it, then we can too,” Thomas said.

“You know what? I won’t take that as an insult,” you decided.

As Captain Woermann began to split everyone up into squads, Mikasa came over to where you and Eren were standing. She pulled you into a group huddle, her face serious.

“Do not die, understand?” she said.

“We won’t, Mikasa!” Eren whined.

“I’ll do my best to look out for you two, but I can’t be in two places at once. I need to know that you guys will be okay!” she said. You reached for her soft hand and squeezed it. She turned her worried gaze to you, and you understood. More than anything, you understood. She had been through this once before, and she had lost you. She couldn’t go through that again.

“We’ll be okay. Focus on yourself and doing your duty, yeah? I promise you, things will be fine. See you soon,” you said as Captain Woermann appeared to split you up.

“Cadet Jaeger! You will be in Squad 34 with Cadet Arlert and the others. Cadet L/N, join Squad 28 with Cadet Kirstein. Cadet Ackerman, I want you in the rear guard. We’ve heard about your prowess, and you’re equal to at least 100 soldiers, easily. Report to Ian Dietrich at once for your assignment,” he said before jogging off.

“Wait, I can’t be a part of the rear guard!” Mikasa called out helplessly.

“You heard him, Mikasa. You’re strong. You can do this!” you encouraged her.

“No, I need to be with you two, I need to protect you,” she said frantically. Eren growled and headbutted her. She stumbled backwards in shock, her eyes wide and filled with tears as she rubbed the spot where he had headbutted her.

“Mikasa. Your orders were to go to the rearguard, so you’ll go to the rearguard. I’ll take care of Y/N for you, but you have to remember that this is war. There isn’t any place for personal preference,” he said.

“We aren’t children,” you reminded her gently, “We’re soldiers, too. I think Sasha’s in my squad as well. I’ll look out for her, and she’ll look out for me, and Jean will as well, of course. This isn’t Shiganshina. We’re stronger now.”

She flew at you, flinging her arms around you and cutting off your airflow from how tight she hugged you.

“I’ll see you again,” she said before letting go and watching emotionlessly as you coughed, “Both of you. Soon. As soon as I’m done helping with the evacuations, I’ll come back for you.”

You and Eren exchanged looks, knowing this was the best you could get from the overprotective girl.

“See you soon, Mikasa,” you said again, kissing her cheek as she gave you one final glance before heading over to where Ian Dietrich was assembling the rearguard.

“Good luck,” you said, taking a deep breath and turning to Eren, who nodded at you.

“You too. Listen, before we go, I have to tell you something,” he said. You shook your head furiously.

“No. Tell me afterwards. This isn’t goodbye. Whatever it is that you have to say, it can wait,” you said. He looked like he wanted to argue, but at your fierce glare, let out a sigh of defeat, giving in without much protest.

“Fine. See you afterwards, then,” he said.

“That’s a promise.”

You were happy to see that your squad was full of your friends (and Jean). Sasha, Connie, Marco, and Jean made up the group, and you knew that you could count on each and every one of them in even the toughest of situations.

“Everyone ready?” Jean said. You checked over your ODM gear before nodding at him.

“I’m good,” you said.

“Me, too,” Marco said.

“Yup!” Sasha said, somehow still cheerful despite the fact that you were literally about to charge into a district overrun by titans.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Connie said, his normal humor suppressed by the seriousness of the situation, though he did manage to smile at you.

“Then let’s head out,” Jean said, taking charge effortlessly. He was the unspoken leader, and all of you were willing to let him have the role. Like you had told him earlier, he was good at it, at inspiring confidence in his comrades and assessing tough situations.

As you glided through Trost on your ODM gear, distracting the titans, you were reminded of that day so long ago, when Eren had taken you to the roof. The town had been lively then. It was so different now, debris littering the streets that had once been occupied by dancing children.

A single lily lay in the middle of the street, the white petals catching your eye as you soared over it. Blood was splattered against it, staining the pure color an ugly shade of crimson. You frowned and turned away, not wanting to think about whose blood had colored the flower.

All of a sudden, Jean screeched to a stop. You paused beside him, giving him a worried look. His face had gone white, very, very white, as he stared at something in abject horror.

“Jean, is everything alright?” you said as the rest of your squad continued onwards. He reached out with a shaking hand to point at something. You looked down before your jaw dropped. It was a little girl with red hair, crushed by a rock.

“We have to save her,” he said.

“Absolutely. I’ll cover you,” you said as you both dropped to the ground, running over to where the girl was trapped. You kept your fingers on the triggers of your blades, knowing you might need to release them at any moment if a titan picked up on your vulnerable position.

“Hey, Leah, is that you?” Jean whispered, lifting the rock aside. You wondered how he knew the girl. Well, he had grown up in Trost.

“Huh? H-how do you know my name?” she said woozily. You looked back before immediately wishing you hadn’t. The girl’s body was completely mangled from the bottom down, and bile rose in your throat at the way her small legs were contorted. Blood covered her, and you knew she wasn’t going to make it. She had lost too much, and if you had to guess, you’d only give her a few more minutes to live.

“It’s me, the clown from William’s birthday party, remember?” he choked out, cradling her in his arms, ignoring the way her blood covered his light grey shirt.

“Hey, Mr. Clown,” she said, a small smile forming on her face.

“Hey,” Jean said, tears forming in his eyes. The little girl frowned at him.

“Why are you sad? Clowns are supposed to be happy,” she reprimanded him. He gave her a watery smile. You watched silently, feeling like an intruder on this private moment.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I’m so, so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said, her voice growing faint.

“No, wait, just hold on, kid! Hold on, please, hold on, we’ll get you to a doctor and you’ll be fine!” he said desperately.

“Bye-bye, Mr. Clown. Remember to smile!” she said cheerfully, her brow creasing in a frown for only a second before she smiled up at him.

“Don’t say bye,” Jean said, his face crumpling as the tears began to pour unashamedly down his face.

“Smile, just like I am!” she said. Jean began to cry harder.

“How can you ask me to smile at a time like this?” he said.

“Because. The only way to win at life is to be happy, so you have to try and be happy, see?” she said, coughing, blood trickling out of her mouth. She was at death’s door. There was only one reason she was still clinging to life instead of slipping into that peaceful darkness.

“Jean, you said quietly. He looked at you, his eyes red.

“What?” he said.

“Just do it. She won’t let go unless you do,” you said.

“I don’t want her to let go! She’s just a kid! She can’t j-just —”

“You know she’s going to,” you said, and though your words were blunt, your tone was gentle. Leah looked up at Jean innocently, though her eyes were beginning to glaze over as she reached her final few seconds alive. Jean closed his eyes before opening them again and smiling at the girl. She let out a delighted laugh.

“You have a nice smile, Mr. Clown,” she said.

“Jean. It’s Jean,” he said. She hummed before coughing again.

“Bye, Mr. Jean. You’re...a really brave person.”

Her breathing stilled, and you knew that she was gone forever. Jean stared at her still-warm body, frozen by shock.

“Fuck, Jean! Move!” you screamed as a five meter titan crept up behind him, taking advantage of his dazed state to reach out for him. You sprang into the air, releasing a set of blades.

Tighten your muscles. Latch onto something to gain momentum before letting go. Spin.

Levi’s voice talked you through what to do as you swung through the air, spinning and slashing into the titan’s nape. It collapsed to the ground beside Jean, who hugged Leah’s body to his chest and gazed at the fallen titan in shock before looking at you as you landed atop its corpse.

“You saved me,” he said.

“Anytime. We have to go, though. The others need us,” you said.

“What about her?” he said, hefting the girl’s body. You gave him a sad look, and his eyes widened before he began to shake his head.

“No, no, we can’t just leave her behind! Damnit, isn’t it good enough that she’s dead? Now we have to fucking leave her to be eaten or something?” he shouted wildly. You reached out to place a hand on his shoulder.

“Jean, you know you won’t be able to carry her. We’re running low on gas as it is. The extra weight will drag you down. I’m sorry,” you said.

“I hate you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” he cried as he gently set the girl’s body down. You did not respond, allowing him to take his anger out on you, because you knew it was not you that he was truly angry with; rather, it was this shitty situation and this shitty world that he was raging against. It was unfair. It was so unfair. It was also a reminder that you oh-so-easily could’ve been Leah five years ago. If it hadn’t been for Petra, or if Petra had arrived even a few seconds later than she had, you’d be nothing more than one of the numerous casualties of Wall Maria’s fall.

“Wait here a second,” you said to him before shooting off.

You returned a few seconds later with the white lily that you had seen earlier. It must have been planted in one of the flowerpots people liked to keep on their windowsills, falling to the street as debris rained down.

Touching down next to Jean, you bent over and placed the lily on Leah’s stomach. A bloodstained flower for a bloodstained girl, from two bloodstained soldiers. You were sick of it, sick of it all. You wanted to scrub and scrub at your skin until the last residues of the thick liquid were gone, though you knew it wouldn’t be enough. Even once it was gone, the feel of it would remain, phantom rivers running down your arms and coating your hands until all you could see when you closed your eyes was that horrible, ugly sanguine shade.

“We need to go see how everyone else is doing. We’re both almost out of gas, too, so we have to find the supply team,” you said.

“Right,” he said with one final glance at Leah, “We have a job to do.”

You were silent as you made your way to the rooftop that it seemed everyone had decided to gather on. You noticed in dismay that your numbers were noticeably thinned. It seemed not everyone had made it back.

“Jean? Y/N? We thought you guys had died!” Sasha shrieked as she noticed you.

“What the hell happened to you? Jean, are you okay?” Tullia said, her voice shrill. Jean looked down at his shirt before meeting her eyes dully.

“It’s not mine,” he said.

“Then whose?” Connie said.

“That’s unimportant,” you said, knowing that Jean still needed time to process all that you two had seen, “Have any of you seen Eren, by any chance?”

“No. Ask Armin, they were part of the same squad, though he’s the only one that made it back,” Marco said.

“It’s obvious what happened,” Ymir said, rolling her eyes as you headed over to where Armin sat, curled up in a ball.

“Hey, Min-Min. What’s the matter? Where’s Eren?” you said, kneeling and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He stiffened under your touch before staring at you with haunted eyes the color of the sky.

“Squad 34 was wiped out. Every single one of them. Milieus, Nack, Thomas, Mina...and Eren.”

So, for the second time, you were forced to lose your best friend. Yet this time was different, because you were different. You had done this once before. You could do it again.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. It should’ve been me. He died saving me!” Armin sobbed. You scowled at him before grabbing him by the hand and yanking him harshly to his feet.

“Enough. That’s not true, and we both know it. Eren made the choice to save you, didn’t he? Don’t demean his sacrifice by saying that it was meaningless. Make it worth something. We’re all out of gas, aren’t we?” you said, turning to face everyone. Your fellow cadets gazed at you in shock. Meek little Y/N, Y/N who was never terrible but never exceptional either, Y/N whose only skills came from the advice she had gotten from people far better than her, that Y/N, was standing up.

“Did you think I would fall? Did you think I would break at the news of Eren’s death? You forget I’ve survived all of this before, and I’ll do it again. And so will all of you! I know things are tough right now. The supply team has abandoned us, for whatever reason. That means we have two options: wait here to die, or go get our gas,” you said.

“That’s suicidal!” Connie said.

“You all know the company I kept. Is it any wonder that I am the way I am? Perhaps this plan is suicidal, but it’s all we’ve got. It’s our only shot at success, and for what it’s worth, I think it’s a pretty good shot, too,” you said.

“You do? Why?” Sasha said.

“Because I know you guys. I can’t promise that things are going to be easy, because they won’t be. We aren’t veterans with years of battle experience, and none of us are inhumanly strong like Mikasa, either, but that’s okay. Strength, speed, intelligence, power: they are important, to be sure, but in the end, they don’t matter. None of it does. Each and every one of us possesses an incredible will to endure, and that is all we need to come out on the other side as the victors.”

Everyone was silent as they stared at you before Jean slowly walked over to your side. Jean, who was covered in blood; Jean, who was once spoiled and arrogant; Jean, who was different now, who had been different ever since you had stumbled upon Leah’s body.

“The circumstances we’ve been placed in are shit. This world is shit. I hate each and every one of us for being weak cowards that weren’t able to stop a little girl from dying, and I hate myself for it most of all. That girl died in my arms, and that means I am responsible for carrying on her legacy. She didn’t have a choice. She was a victim, but unlike her, we can choose to be victims, or we can stand and fight back against the monsters that kill us indiscriminately,” he said coldly. Nobody had been expecting to see this side of Jean, a side none of you even knew he had.

“Do you know what she told me before she died? ‘The only way to win at life is to be happy.’ Well, I am not a loser. I have never been a loser. I choose to win. I choose to be happy, if such a state is even achievable in this life. And all of you will join me, because I don’t make friends with losers, either,” he said, pointing at your comrades.

The cloud cover broke for only a second, the sun washing you and Jean in its bright gold light as you stared at the rest of the 104th, at your teammates, at your friends, and you fancied that it was Eren himself encouraging you, supporting you, telling you that this was the right thing to do.

“Fine, then,” Reiner said with a nod, “So what’s the plan?”

taglist (send an ask or dm to be added): @futuristicxie

[chigirisprincess]

i think what confuses a lot of people about the ending in attack on titan is the fact that throughout the series the characters ambitions, beliefs, and values never change however as they gain new experiences and learn more about the world outside the walls their definitions for things change. (spoilers for the finale below, this is just my take and my interpretation).

just hear me out okay. both jean and armin reaffirm the fact that the group comprises of armin, jean, connie, pieck, reiner, annie, levi, and mikasa are scouts to their core, that is why they continue to fight and speak up even when it feels useless. when jean expresses this to reiner it is a big moment because reiner feels that he has so much he must atone for, he feels like a bad person. his identity as of warrior has been tainted by his experiences being a scout because he learned that they were not "devils" but people with families just like him. as such, reiner experiences this huge lost of identity and goes through a period where he is extremely depressed because he has realized his values and goals no longer align with the warriors and marley like he thought they did. being able to reclaim ownership of the title "scout" to reiner means being a good person who fights for humanity. to its core, that is what being a scout is. the scouts fought for humanity when they believed they were the only humans left, they fought for humanity again when eren began the rumbling, and again are fighting for humanity now that paradis has become a military state. the circumstances have changed, their idea of what humanity is has changed, however their goal remains the same- to fight for their liberation. armin reminds them they are still scouts in spite of all that has changed because their goal hasn't.

now how does that relate to eren and the ending? well, eren's goal from the beginning has been to eradicate the earth of "monsters". this does not change. however, what eren views to be monsters has. as a child "monsters" were the titans, then as a teenager the "monsters" became the warriors (specifically them not humans in general), then when he learned of the outside world and their hatred and cruelty towards eldian's they became the "monsters" (not just marley but the rest of the world too because they were complicit in marley's crimes). obviously, eren's skewed perspective was rather narrow minded however, he and his family were direct victims of marley (his aunt faye for example) and he held such high hopes for the outside world so, like reiner it took eren a minute to realize that humans were not the enemy, they were not the monster, but by that time it was already too late, ymir the founder was going to enact his will.

armin and eren discuss this in paths (right before eren dies). they discuss how their perspectives have changed but their desires have not. this consistency that we see throughout all the characters in the story is in some ways eren's flaw (and armin's since he recognizes that he played a large role in shaping eren's beliefs and desires by showing him the forbidden book when they were children). the anger eren carried while being a driving force that did accomplish a lot of good for paradis, being unable to let go of such anger resulted in his death. ymir the founder saw eren, his anger and disdain for the people who hurt him and used him as a pawn. she too held a lot of anger, anger that she didn't fully understand because even after two thousand years she loved king fritz, the man who abused, mutilated, and tortured her. she could not sever her devotion to him, she could never "get revenge" for all the pain she felt however with eren she could get retribution for her children (the eldian's), she could free them. but the concept of freedom which is a driving force for the show is very convoluted and frankly polluted. this idea of "pure, true freedom" that is sought is unattainable because it is idealistic and historically has come at the cost of others livelihoods (marley becomes free but the remaining eldian's are forced into internment zones).

SO why does all this make the ending make sense?

well, because their goals never change but the circumstances do, mistakes are made. lack of growth and change results in misinformation and misaction. while its not to say unwavering belief's are "bad" however it is clear that isayama is trying to convey to the audience that the cycle of violence and conflict will always remain unless you are willing to learn and to change. in the credits, we see paradis thriving (presumably because the yeagerists lost power and they did learn and grow) but hundreds maybe even thousands of years later the cycle begins again as paradis is plunged into war and a young child seeks shelter inside a large tree.

i think once we as an audience understand the conversation between eren and armin in paths, the ending makes a lot of sense. eren and armin perpetuated the cycle because of their ignorance, naïvety, and own personal desires. they realize at the end that their childhood goals were ultimately unattainable and perverted because they did not change to encapsulate their new knowledge and that was wrong. this is not to say either is a bad person considering how this story was predetermined by destiny, but rather is to say that it is a tragedy. they were ensnared by the error of human ways, but only one person could make it out alive (likely because armin has always been the more intelligent, slower to act between the two). and cycles of violence will always end in some form of tragedy (ex paradis attacking marley which mirrors the fall of wall maria = sasha dying which is tragic).

the strong anti-war message from attack on titan is formed on the basis that we as a society will never be freed from cyclic violence until we learn from our actions and until we learn, there will be loss, loss that is innumerable but completely preventable. (eren was always meant to die, his sacrifice is what eradicated the titans, it was a self fulfilled prophecy seeing as he vowed to dedicate every fibre of his being to remove titans from the earth) (the preventable deaths were the deaths of sasha, colt, ymir, erwin, etc because if there was no violence, no cruelty, no war for them to fight they would have lived).

so, in my opinion once you understand how their unchanging morals and ambitions were interwoven within the cycles of war it becomes far easier to understand the ending of attack on titan. especially when you compare mikasa to ymir the founder. mikasa had the strength to kill the one she loved because she knew such senseless violence was wrong. ymir the founder did not have the strength to use her titan abilities to kill king fritz and liberate the people of marley. mikasa broke the cycle created by king fritz and ymir the founder because her goal changed. from the beginning, mikasa's self imposed duty was to protect eren (while carla asked her to, mikasa already decided to spend her life protecting eren after he saved her) but mikasa realized she could no longer protect eren, she had to kill him. she did what no other character in the series did, she learned from her experiences and changed her goal! and that is the point. all it takes is one person to change the course and rewrite the story (metaphorically since mikasa was destined to do this no matter how badly she wanted to run away from it all).

[maxthefryingpan12]

I’m not as pure as you believe I am.//Armin Arlert x Titan Shifter!Fem!Reader

Because I’m on an Armin high right now. And I am not in the mood to write anything else.

Summary: You and Armin are a couple. You are very afraid of what he’ll think of you when you reveal that you and your family are titan shifters. You are aware that when Erwin makes the call you are obligated to turn. It scares you to death, but you know you can’t falter. Thankfully, Armin is there to help take care of you when you’re too exhausted from the mission.

Warnings: violence, swearing, Anxiety, mentions of death, My OC (it’s not Y/N, she’s important to Y/N’s story though. And she helps you take a relaxing bath. She’s a mother figure, don’t worry.), Fluff, past trauma, revenge, masking exhaustion, being a mother in place of an actual mother, etc.

Hope y’all enjoy this installment of me putting my OC as Y/N for your viewing pleasure!

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He always calls me Angel. I have no Idea why. I love him, I truly do. The nickname gives me butterflies but also a sense of guilt. I don’t know how he thinks I’m an Angel. He saw me threaten to slit a guy’s throat when I was 16. There’s also so much death and destruction in my past that I haven’t told him. Like the guy that dared to kidnap and molest one of my younger sisters. I don’t know how he does it. If anything, HE’S the Angel, not me. I am the demon dragging him to hell. I mean, he saw how willing I was to decapitate someone at Levi’s order to kill without hesitation. And he saw how relentless I was when I was ordered to kill Kenny Ackerman. I don’t understand how he still calls me Angel. Especially since I’m a titan.

Revealing what I truly am to him scares me to death. I don’t want him to think that I’m a monster. That would be the worst feeling in the world.

I’ve raised my siblings, been stabbed, shot, punched, sexually assaulted, and abused, and yet, I’m scared of what he’ll think.

I can’t dwell on it too much though. Right now, we’re on a mission, resealing the holes Bertholdt and Reiner created five years ago.

Bertholdt just shifted into his titan form, would’ve done serious damage to me and my gear if it weren’t for my various Titan abilities that carried into my human form. My goal right now was to find Armin, my boyfriend. With Hange squad behind me I made my way towards Levi squad.

Armin was freaking out, clearly very stressed. With no time to waste I landed in front of him and put my swords away.

“Armin, take my hands.” I commanded, speed walking towards him.

“Angel! You’re alright! I’m so glad!” He looked a little relieved as his eyes fell on my face.

I took his shaking hands in mine. “Deep breaths, hun. Clear your mind so you can think.” I comforted.

He took a few deep breaths before I heard a sharp, long whistle.

Four counts long, the whistle to turn to Titan form.

I turned my head in that direction.

“Did you hear a whistle? Which one?” Hange asked excitedly.

“You all have to trust me, okay? In the events happening next, I promise I won’t hurt you on purpose.” I looked back at the people around me.

“Angel, what are you saying? What do you mean?” Armin furrowed his brows in worry.

The feeling of anxiety, guilt, and fear nestled in the pit of my stomach.

“Just please trust me. I promise I’ll make sure we’ll make it out alive.” With one final glance at Armin’s worried face, I pulled away and used my ODM gear to fly off to a point where I won’t hurt someone when I go Titan.

I took my knife from my boot and sliced my hand open.

Objective: kill the beast titan and get everyone home safe.

I reminded myself. With that I had an adrenaline rush, I wasn’t in free-fall anymore but instead crouched on the ground and my head being over the buildings.

“Everyone! Attach yourself to her collar! And prepare for a bumpy ride! Eren! Climb on her back!” Hange ordered.

I felt a few dozen pairs of feet land on my shoulders and back. My skin and flesh morphed and shifted so that Eren had secure handles on my back for his hands and feet and make a cavity in which the scouts using me as a war horse could stay safe and protected.

Once Eren was secure I stood at my full height, about half the size of the colossal. The armored titan came into view, running at me full speed. I easily picked him up and grew in size, the same size as the colossal Titan.

With my eyes on my target, I launched Reiner at the Beat Titan, effectively knocking it down. Bertholdt turned to me, I ran full force at him and picked him up almost just as easily. With both hands holding him over my head I reeled back and launched him at the Beast Titan.

From there I began to step back a few paces before running at the wall. I jumped at just the right moment to get over the wall and not crush anything. My flesh reverted to its original state so the people and titan on my back can get off.

“Detach!” Hange yelled.

Seconds before I hit the ground and rolled the last person escaped from my back.

“RAAAAGE!!!” Erwin yelled.

My body shrunk to a little bigger than the Titan I was about to fight. He had pushed off the two titans I’d thrown at him and was now up.

“Y/N, come with me. You’ll no longer be used as a weapon.” The beast spoke.

“Lies, I see the way Braun and Bertholdt are always completing missions you command them to do. And why the hell should I trust you when you killed my mother and are working with my father?” My distorted voice spoke with white hot rage.

“He just wants you to be free.” The beast attempted.

“Lies! He just wants me to be his puppet. He only wants to use me to save his ass! I will NEVER bend will to him.” I yelled.

“Then we’ll have to take you by force.” The titan spoke.

“Over my dead corpse.” With that my legs pistoned into the earth as I ran at him and lunged.

Seeing his face brought the memory of my mother rushing to put the five of her children, including me, on horseback. The day she sacrificed her life to keep us safe. The day she had me promise her to always protect my siblings and take care of them. The day she sent me to live inside the walls and to find Erwin to raise us.

I hated him for it. He’s the reason my siblings starved for five years searching for scraps. He’s the reason the five of us had to make a cuddle pile with Eren, Armin, and Mikasa just to stay warm enough to make it through the winter nights. He’s the reason I had been on the streets long enough to be raped. He’s the reason we all have PTSD from being raped. He’s the reason we’ve suffered so much.

I got lost in my anger as I ripped him apart. He called multiple times for backup from the titans forming a line back none came to his aid on account of the fact that my growl sends them away, instead they kept walking away per my command.

By the time my mind became my own again I had captured all three shifter and they were safely in my mouth, passed out due to the knockout effect of my saliva.

A whistle.

Not even one count, come back.

Following Erwin’s unspoken order I came back towards the wall, the hole was now plugged up and Eren was coming to the wagon.

I shrunk and kneeled.

“Drop them.” Erwin commanded, pointing at the cart.

I followed his orders and dropped the three men onto the cart.

“Good girl,” Erwin praised, “you can revert back to human form.”

I laid down and burst through the nape of my Titan’s neck. I pulled uselessly at the strings of flesh attached to my limbs. I was so fatigued that I couldn’t actually pull myself free without help.

“Do you need help?” I heard a familiar, soothing voice call from the ground.

“Yes please.” I replied weakly.

Suddenly Armin was kneeling next to me.

Here it is… the words that are going to break me…

“C’mon, let’s get you back on the ground, Angel.” Armin said as he cut the last of what was tethering me to my titan body.

My eyes widened and tears pricked at the edges as he turned to me to pick me up. I let him pick me up and carry me to his horse as my mind was racing.

Was he going to break up with me when we got back to the base? Why was he being so sweet to me? Why isn’t he calling me a monster?

He situated me against his chest after he got on his horse, and he gave me a kiss on top of my head.

“You did so well, Angel. Thank you for keeping your promises.” He kissed the top of my head again and held me tight against his frame.

“Let’s move out! Mission accomplished!” Erwin barked.

Within a few minutes we were on the move, heading back to the walls that haven’t been breached.

On the way back, Armin kept whispering how good I did and how he would make sure that I was well taken care of when we got back. It calmed my thoughts a lot, but I still had this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that he was putting up a facade to not embarrass me as much when he broke up with me.

When we got back, I had gotten some rest which allowed me to assure my siblings that I was just fine as we were passing through. I still couldn’t stand on my own once we got back to the base.

“Help me get her to the tub, Armin.” Nyx told Armin as she came out of the front door. “Poor thing looks exhausted and in need of some TLC.”

Armin carried me to Erwin’s personal bathroom and set me down as Nyx started the water.

The woman was 5’4” and had short brown hair, her eyes were a deep shade of brown and she wore the normal scout uniform.

“You can go now, Cadet.” She smiled at Armin, “I promise I’ll take good care of her.”

“Yes, Captain Smith.” With that, Armin gave me a quick peck on the cheek before leaving.

Once the door closed, she turned to me. “C’mon, let’s get you in the bath, hun.”

She helped me undress and once I shed the last piece of clothing on my body, she picked me up in her toned arms and placed me in the tub. She’d already shed her uniform jacket and rolled up the sleeves of her dress shirt.

“Thank you.” I muttered quietly.

“It’s no problem, you look like you needed one to relax. I’ll be right back.” She got up and walked outside the door into Erwin’s office. “Armin, can you grab her a fresh set of clothes to rest in? I’d do it myself, but I don’t want to leave her in there alone for too long.”

“Of course, Captain. I’ll go get a fresh set of clothes.” I heard Armin reply.

“Okay, let’s get you washed up.” Nyx came back in the room and sat on a stool.

She worked the soap into my hair delicately, making sure not to pull on it. When it came time to wash my body, she had me stand up and brace myself against the wall as she scrubbed the dirt and grime from my skin.

She let me lay back down in the hot bath once she was satisfied with the rest of the dirt being gone. She let me relax for a bit while she got some information about how the mission went and ask if anyone was seriously injured enough to need tending to while she grabbed me a nice 'n fluffy towel.

Once she came back, I was hoisted out of the tub and placed on the stool which also had a towel on it. She had my body propped against the wall as she dried me off.

“Okay, let’s get you dressed.” She grabbed my underwear from the pile of clean clothes on the counter.

“Hey, Nyx?” I grabbed her attention softly.

“Yes?” She looked in my tired eyes as she pulled my underwear up my legs.

“Do you think Armin still likes me?” I asked.

“Why would you ask that? Of course he does.” She chuckled, grabbing the pair of fluffy short Armin grabbed for me.

“I just…I’d hate for him to hate me because I can turn into a titan…” I spoke quietly.

“He doesn’t hate you. He knows you can’t control the fact that you have the ability.” She pulled the shorts up my legs.

“But I lied to him for years… I let him believe that I was just talented at using ODM gear…” I spoke.

“Erwin had just finished explaining the fact that you had to hide it for your safety, he knows why.” Nyx reasoned, pulling a hoodie over my head.

No, not just any hoodie, ARMIN’s hoodie. I could tell from the scent, it’s his favorite hoodie with how strong said scent is.

It melted my heart at the fact that he would still give me his hoodie even though I had lied to about being a Titan…

“This his hoodie…” I sniffled, on the verge of tears, “I love him…”

Nyx chuckled softly before placing my favorite pair of slippers on my feet and standing me up to finish pulling up my shorts and underwear.

“He even got me my favorite slippers…” I said, my heart melting with how sweet he was. The fact he even remembered to grab me slippers and actually grabbed them made me melt with adoration.

Nyx opened the door, “You can come get your emotional girlfriend now, Arlert.”

“Awe, Angel, don’t cry. You know I love you; nothing could change that.” Armin took me in his warm arms.

“You remembered to get me slippers…” I whined.

“Of course I did, My Love, I even remembered that those were your favorite.

“I love you…” I buried my face in the crook of his neck.

“I love you too, Angel. Let’s go to my room and braid your hair, yeah?” Armin picked me up bridal-style.

“You’d really do that?” I looked at him with big, loving eyes.

“Of course, Angel. I do it all the time I don’t plan on stopping any time soon.” He kissed my forehead as Nyx handed him my hairbrush and a few hair ties.

“You make me so happy…” I rested my head against his chest.

Armin chuckled and walked out of Erwin’s office.

“Is she alright?” Erwin asked, concerned because it looked like I was about to start crying.

“She’s fine, just tired. She’s kinda emotional when she’s exhausted and she also thought that her being a Titan would change my feelings towards her.” Armin explained.

“Oh, that’s adorable.” Erwin leans in to whisper in Armin’s ear and I hear it as well, “Nyx is the same way after a long mission.” Erwin grinned.

“Erwin!” Nyx gasped.

“What? It’s endearing! And it makes me feel more loved!” Erwin laughed.

“Yes, but not every Cadet in the survey corps needs to know!” Nyx said, exasperated.

Armin walked away so they could have some form of privacy in their playful fight.

Once we got to his room he set me on the bed, the supplies to braid my hair were set on the nightstand. He then went to his closet to change into sleepwear. I kicked my slippers off and placed my feet on the fluffy carpet.

“Okay, let’s do your hair now.” Armin turned to me once he finished changing.

I sunk to the floor carefully and waited for him to sit on the bed behind me. Once he was seated, he handed me his pillow to cuddle with as he braided my hair. Eventually I rested my head against his thigh and began to nod off. His long fingers were so delicate while braiding my hair and were so gentle while he was messaging my scalp.

I woke up when he picked me up and placed me back on the bed.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up, Angel.” He climbed in beside me.

“‘S alright, baby. I just want cuddles.” I let go of the pillow and made grabby hands for him.

He chuckled and raised my head gently before placing the pillow back in place. “C’mere, Angel, I’ve got you.” He pulled me into his chest and kissed the top of my head.

“You missed.” I looked up at him.

“I missed?” Armin looked at me, puzzled.

“My lips are right here, idiot.” I tapped a finger on my bottom lip.

“Of course.” Armin’s warm smile returned as he leaned in to press his lips on mine for a long, romantic kiss.

I hummed in content as I pulled away and snuggled into him.

“Listen, I know you were being anxious, and you were scared. But I promise that I will love you no matter what you do. I know you lied to me about it because you were protecting yourself and your siblings. I love you. Forever, Angel.” He kissed the top of my head.

“I love you too, Armin.” I nuzzled my head in his chest and closed my eyes.

He rubbed my back and arm as my body relaxed fully as sleep overtook my body.

“I’ll see you in the morning, My Love.” He held me tighter to his chest as I drifted into sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[innocentimouto]

Was Levi justified in assaulting Historia in attempt to frighten her into submission when she didn't immediately agree to become the queen?

Justified isn't the word I would use. I think the problem with this is that people see this and use it to say Levi abused her, or that Levi resorts to violence at every turn.

Both are false. Many times throughout the series, Levi doesn't resort to violence or even anger at times where you would expect it. When Mikasa disobeys him and he gets injured, she not only endangered herself, he got injured saving her. That later prevented him from fighting Annie later on and in the manga you see him frustrated by that.

At the very least, you could expect some anger for disobeying orders. He just lectures her. The same thing happens later with Jean. For one, Levi doesn't even bring it up. There's the even more obvious one of when that soldier Dieter disobeyed orders, called them heartless, got his friend killed, and made them dump the bodies. To this day, I'm shocked Levi offers comfort, not scorn, anger, or criticism---comfort.

He's seen so many comrades die. To have more die over something so easily avoidable, a death so pointless, which he hates, and to not resort to anger? The healthier reaction would be to become angry.

So he doesn't resort to violence at every turn, but yes, he does resort to it at times. It's one of the main reasons I'm fascinated by Levi. It's so easy to say he isn't complex, that he's just an op character. But it's things like this that make it hard to understand him at first glance.

Someone who resorts to violence should have punched Dieter. No one would have said anything. Someone who resorts to violence should have gotten in Mikasa's face after she blamed him for Eren's capture right after he passed his squad's dead bodies, after she disobeyed orders and got him injured (not saying this to demonize her; she didn't know what happened to his squad presumably).

To choose to be understanding and take the role of a captain, of someone strong enough to offer advice and stability in dire situations---that is who Levi is.

So with that being said, did he have to do that to Historia? Maybe, maybe not. What I think would have happened had he not would be she would spend a long time resisting the role of being queen until someone made her understand forcefully. I can't see her warming up to the idea instantly. She probably would too late, when more people have died, when she's forced to see the start of what would happen if she weren't queen.

Some people criticize her for not being willing, but that's a huge thing to ask a teenager. I completely understand her hesitance. Levi did too. But they didn't exist in a world where one was allowed the luxury to avoid a role bigger than what they're prepared for.

The reason Levi so desperately wanted her to accept is because it would save them from a civil war. It would save so many lives. It would be bloodless. All the sacrifices up to that point would have been meaningless because they would be too caught up in fighting each other. Not to mention Reiner and Bertholdt could have returned at any point while this was happening.

Levi just returned from torturing someone. A person within the walls, his own people, the people he fought for every time he left the walls. How invalidating it must have felt. Who exactly was he fighting for if he had to continue torture people like that?

I imagine Levi joined the Survey Corps with hopes that his strength could be used for good. That he could escape the death and misery of the Underground where his strength was used for survival, where he witnessed violence and death that never seemed to end. That he could be more than that type of person. He could use that strength and experience to help people for a change, instead of harming people to survive.

All this, plus learning titans were really humans, it's almost like Levi would never actually stop being the person he was Underground. Someone who hurt others for his right to live. More pointless deaths. More violence that no one really wanted.

If Historia didn't become queen, this would continue.

Levi is compassionate. Levi fights for humanity. Levi hates pointless deaths. Historia becoming queen would be one of the first choices they would make that would have almost no sacrifices. I imagine Levi or anyone in the Survey Corps for years would lose it if such a chance wasn't taken.

One weird thing I did notice is that Jean takes out for Historia, saying she finally got to be her own person but now she would be forced into another role. While this is incredibly sweet of him, and great storytelling to recognize how a character suffers, this is only ever applied to her.

And well, later Annie, but I dislike almost everything about season 4 anyway.

Armin never wanted to join the Survey Corps. Majority of the kids didn't. They were terrified. I doubt even the adult soldiers enjoy fighting a losing battle against the titans for years. So many characters have to take on rolls that they shouldn't, that burdens them.

Yet everyone acts like this only applies to Historia, that Levi forced her into this role when the alternative was probably being on the run for the rest of her life anyway.

So technically yes, Levi was justified because so much was at stake, but I do feel bad for Historia. But I'll be honest, I find it very interesting that this is brought up more than him kicking Eren like 20 times. He didn't even hurt Historia. I'm still upset this was removed from the anime. If they wanted to remove anything, they should have removed kicking Eren or at least reduce it because that was so brutal.

[salvatoreren]

Differentiating Eren and Shitz

Hi so this is a post or whatever it is on why Eren and Shitz are not alike, never have, never fucking will

If any of you find yourself disagreeing or getting offended the deeper you read into these i suggest you back off and never look back thanks

Where did this came up with?

As we all know Chapter 139 definitely started this. Because of the birth of that chapter many shit came and some were good but mostly bad, because of Mikasa paralleling Ymir i guess, there came the Eren paralleling Shitz. anyways the reasons

1. Eren wanted to destroy the Titans

- Idk if people read chapter 122 or watched episode 80 but Shitz: Even after I die...my Eldians will rule the great lands of this world with their enormity. And my Titans shall reign forever and ever.

He wanted them to rule till the end of the Earth because of his revolting desires

- Eren on the other hand: I'll kill them all! I'll wipe every last one of them off this Earth!

Destroying the Titans not the beings but the power of it as the series progressed is one of its main topics

Eren hated the Titans, yes his hate did mellow for it as he learned the truth but he hated the idea of someone turning into a mindless eating giants

2. Shitz abused Ymir

-We all know what happened, it's so disgusting but people forget about this all to enforce the Mikasa-Ymir parallel to make 139 make sense, so yeah Shitz abused Ymir, had her hunted and possibly have her eyes poked, r/ped her, used her to kill people, dehumanized her into nothing but a slave, to the very end, showed no absolute appreciation for Ymir because he's nothing but a fucking slimy selfish disgusting son of a bitch moronic asshole who started this fucking mess and deserves nothing but pain because i have never ever seen a character do revolting things to a goddamn child and lose all morals all for the sake of his humongous ego that Ymir had to inflate her goddamn life, it wasn't even his accomplishments

gosh imagine my reaction when i read that seed part; but she's a kid!

- Eren treated her like any decent human being which isn't a lot but he did, Idk it seems like Eren is manipulating Ymir to me, How? How is telling someone you have a choice manipulating? To choose? That everything is in your fucking control? Eren gave her a choice to lend her power to him or not.

3. Eren would never want his friends or anyone for that matter to chew his spine

- See Shitz wanted to pass that power to his children. IDK maybe he didn't know that their was a limit, uh idk have you checked the part where he said hey kids, have children and have them eat your spine like???

-Are we forgetting Eren stood up for Historia and again told his friends to like hey dont, you dont have to make sacrifices for this titan bullshit because it sucks eating someone you love quite literally and also bcus you ppl are special to me and should live deserved long lives and to

Eren experienced the suffering that Fritz never got to, thought i wish he did because fuck that loser

4. Horrific acts for different reasons

-Yeah Shitz was all imma conquer everything bcus apparently this empire consisting of like idk 1 million people and shit isnt enough for me, why dont we go and kill people bcus idk its fun, i want more ppl to kneel before me and tell me im a great king despite r/ping a literal child and also bcus im just really bored

-Eren did the Rumbling not because he wanted to conquer the goddamn world but to free his people and friends and because the rest of the world left him no choice [This doesn't excuse his actions tho, killing is still killing]

5. "All i ever wanted to do was do right things, I never wanted to be the king"

- First of all I love this line so much, because Eren never wanted those kind of shit

And I have two interpretations for this line

- This may refer to the fact that Eren has to act like ugh Shitz for the whole thing to work, yk setting Ymir free thru mikasa yeah

- And like i said Eren never wanted to any of this shit, a hero yeah but not a king

6. Eren saved Mikasa

- So yeah, Shitz made Ymir a slave, Eren saved Mikasa from being a sex slave, completely different things, get me?

7. Eren is hot, has great qualities, has lots of stans, and Shitz is not and never will be the only thing he's attracting is all of the morons of this Earth and dirt there

Eren is also the protag and hes not yey!

In conclusion Eren and Shitz are not the same, fuck you, whoever thought of this, you must be fucked in the head and I can only wish for you to seek help like right away

if you guys have anything else to add in here go ahead just make them make sense, also sorry for this being sloppy i have other things to prioritize about

[blushing-titan]

My thoughts on ch. 139

Some of you may be familiar with my previous writings - I usually try to stay as collected as possible, but today's post will be different. Ever since the chapter came out, I've been reblogging a lot of rants and memes about it. Those of you who follow my blog (thank you so much, really happy to have you here! ❤) know that I didn't really enjoy this ending. I want to elaborate more on that in this post - my only advice is to buckle up, because today we may get a bit heated (I apologize in advance for the sassy approach - I usually try to stray away from that, but guess today's post is more of a stream of conciousness/rant) :'D

1. Ymir

Starting up with one of the most controversial things about this chapter. Up to this point, I felt really bad for Ymir. Her life was terrible - she was a young girl, who was enslaved and abused by king Shitz Fritz. After she was forced to run away from his hounds, she acquired the power of titans and used it to help the king's cause. For that, she was awarded with the king's seed (🤢), and eventually became a mother of three girls. Through her entire life, she was treated as a slave and a lesser-being by the king - she also died while protecting him, and her daughters were forced to eat her remains after that (🤢🤢).

It felt so tragic to see her 2000 years later, still walking blindly in the paths. It wasn't enough that she was hurt so badly when she was still alive - she remained enslaved to the abusive king even after she died. I was rooting for her to finally be freed from this nightmare - hence I was so happy when ch. 122 came out and we got this scene:

I was genuinely emotional when I saw her reaction. Finally, someone expressed some authentic care for her and tried to snap her out of this blind state. She would finally think about what she wants and try to free herself from the paths because, as Eren said, she was never a slave or a goddess - just a regular person. It's just like she finally let out all the pain that she's been suppressing for all these years.

Yeah...except, as it turns out, her awakening here changes nothing. She doesn't come to any conclusions, like, perhaps, that she doesn’t want to let herself be hurt and mistreated any longer...or that she should fight for herself, try to change her fate - because, after all, her life belongs to her - not anyone else.

Nothing like this happens. Why? Because, as it turns out, she's in love with king Fritz and needs to be proven by Mikasa that she can break this bond first.

....

💀💀💀💀

Excuse me, but...what?

Okay, first and foremost...am I supposed to believe that, during these 2000 years, no one else has gone against their unhealthy affection to someone toxic and unworthy of their love? No one? 🤡 Come on, we even saw that happen in the manga. What about Historia, who thought that her own mother hitting her was a sign of love? Who wanted to believe that her father was good, despite wanting to turn her into a titan? Where was Ymir when Historia stood up for herself against her father's wishes? Or when she flew up to him and delivered the final blow against him?

On top of that...what a disappointing conclusion to Ymir's story. I hoped that she would take her fate into her own hands, and - for example - be reborn and experience life as a free person, surrounded by people who actually care about her. Free herself from paths and destroy it - not because someone shows her that she can indeed detach herself from it, but simply because she wants to.

Instead, 80% of the world population is gone, because she needed to see that Mikasa is able to "free" herself from Eren in order to do the same.

🤡🤡🤡

2. Abandoned plotlines and plot-holes

Mikasa being a Hizuru princess? Never heard of that. Hallucigenia's fate? Who cares. Eren directing Dina's titan in Carla's direction in order to save Berthold? Nah, who would want any more info on that - guess he just couldn't direct her anywhere else. The Ackerman's headaches? Pfff. The fact that Mikasa shouldn't be affected by the memory altering, but somehow still is in the ending? "I guess she just forgot that she should be immune to this". Why was Historia's pregnancy implied as relevant if it wasn't in the end? So many precious panels wasted on that, when they could be used to help solve some other "unanswered questions" instead. Ehhh...🤷

3. Blatant character assassination

There, I'm saying it once again. I have no idea what happened in this chapter but the characters are off. What about Eren - the one who has always believed that freedom was his birthright, and has been fighting and moving forward for his goals? Yeah, turns out he has no idea why he was doing all of that. 

Remember Kenny's quote - everyone is a slave to something? I thought that this implication was pretty poetic in context of Eren's character. Through all his life, he sought freedom, but ironically, he was a slave to that dream...

...turns out it may have been a bit too poetic for this story because Eren is a slave to destiny. Literally - he's going on auto-pilot in order to reach that one moment in which Mikasa beheads him, so Ymir can watch and understand that she can do the same.

Nice joke...except not. Here go our main character's motivations 🗑

He casually commits unjustifiable crimes against humanity - not because he wants to be free or because he found the world beyond the walls disappointing, (...as we were led to believe). He did that because he doesn't know why - and then, he cries that he doesn't want Mikasa to ever find another guy.

:'))

Turns out Eren was somehow always in love with her too...? Yeah, weird way of showing it. Or should I say - not showing it at all.

If you read my previous writings, you know that I'm not very fond of Eremika. The way I interpreted it while reading the story: it was unhealthy, suffocating and one-sided. I hoped for Mikasa to move on and start thinking about herself for once.

Right, what about Mikasa? Has she finally moved on? Is she content with her life? Are her dreams coming true? What's her daily life after all this? Sadly, I don't have the answers. The thing we are shown instead, is how she's sitting next to Eren's grave and, once again, thanking him for wraping the scarf around her. The only thing that implies that she may be somehow still seeing other people is one bubble of text. After all 139 chapters of hoping for her character developement, that's it.

Keep in mind that all other characters are shown together - with their spouses, families and friends - yet Mikasa is still separated and alone. That's right - after she disappears with Eren's head, she's not shown with anyone else until the end of the manga.

While we're on the topic of others, too...do I have to talk about the scenes in which everyone shows some level of gratitude to Eren...for wiping 80% humanity for them? Because I have no words for this.

One last note: I found the humor to be slightly out of place, too. Seriously, after all these terrible events, with so many unanswered questions and character developement of these two...Reiner is still weirdly simping for (now married) Historia and Jean is called a horse face :') Idk, but it feels somehow surreal after everything that's happened.

4. Conclusion

What else can I say...the final chapter disappointed me and I'm pretty sad about it. I'm happy for the people who liked it, but also can't help but feel like it was very far from perfect. I've been following SnK ever since 2013 and it's a bittersweet moment for me. The series had a lot of amazing moments that I'll definitely remember forever. Meanwhile, I would like to read some of the author's thoughts about the way he chose to end the story - perhaps it would clear some confusion (...although I can't help the fact that my first opinion is already formed).

Thank you very much for reading my thoughts - as always, it means a lot to me! ❤ The images used in this post are obviously not mine!

[yodawgiherd]

Cabin at Nighttime

>>>Read on AO3<<<

Aaand there is the second part of modern cottagecore, more M-rated, so beware if that is not your cup of tea.

For Mikasa, it was like watching movie scenes unfolding in front of her eyes. It could happen anytime around the cabin, during any activity, if there was a pattern to it then she failed to see it. Yet while the images bled to reality, Mikasa always knew that is real and what isn’t - the underlying feeling of sadness and abandoned duty that followed these visions made them easy to identify. When she walked to the edge of the small forest, she saw dream Eren chopping wood, his hair in that unfamiliar undercut. She saw him carrying a huge fish, a proud smile pulling at his lips. She also witnessed a lot of intimate moments, hugs, and gentle kisses scattered all around the cabin, and if it wasn’t her as one of the actors Mikasa would feel like intruding. It was so precious, what the two of them had, but there was that sadness every time, the feel that it was just a utopia, a daydream. The dread wasn’t caused only by the mission they ran from to be together, but a new faint feeling tingled its way into Mikasa’s bones.

It was a few scenes. In one, Eren was coughing into a handkerchief, and when he pulled it away from his mouth it was tainted red. In the next, Mikasa was watching him struggle with a log, tears in her eyes before she quickly crossed the distance to help him. All these visions were drenched in that sad feeling, in the helplessness, it made her own eyes water. Not from the pain this time, but from the tragedy of it all.

“He was dying.”, she said out of nowhere, making Eren look up from the small fire he was cultivating.

He knew right away of who Mikasa spoke.

“Why? Was he sick?”

“Yes…” a tingle, “Or no, it was more like… a curse?”

“Curse?”

“Yes, a curse that was killing him, and he didn’t have much time left.”

“Was there no cure?”

Mikasa shook her head, suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of hopelessness. Eren must have felt it because he abandoned the fire in favor of sitting next to her, wrapping her shivering form in a hug. Closing her eyes she pressed her body close to his.

“Poor guy,”, Eren stated, “Ran away to be with the love of his life and still got cursed to die young. Dude can’t catch a break.”

“Eren..”, she frowned at him but he kissed it away with an easy smile.

Mikasa had to remind herself that Eren didn’t feel the presence like she did. Sure, he was the understanding and supportive boyfriend who did everything in his power to make her feel better, but he didn’t have these nightmares, these visions. His mind wasn’t weighted down by the impending doom, creeping around the corners of the cabin.

So why stay, one could ask. Why stay in the place where Mikasa saw ghosts around the corners? The answer was simple – it was a gut feeling. Mikasa felt right here, almost as if she came home after years and years of being abroad. Yes, there was sadness and guilt but there was also joy and happiness and it all mixed in an addictive way. Most importantly, she knew that it was correct to be here, the universe demanded it.

To be completely honest, Eren had a tiny fear that he might be bored at the cabin, his brain hardwired to all the action living in a city brought. It turned out to be completely wrong because he was anything but. Instead of twiddling his thumbs, he was now fuzzing over Mikasa ever since her small collapse, making sure that she has everything she could ask for. As a doctor, he knew that these visions might be a symptom of a mental illness, but she wasn’t showing anything else apart from them. Mikasa wasn’t delusional, she didn’t confuse reality and her dreams, she could answer his questions clearly and correctly. For now, he kept it as an open topic, making a mental note to ask Hitch about it once they get back to the city. He could call her, but the situation wasn’t urgent and he would very much prefer to hear her opinion over a few drinks.

The place was something else, and if Mikasa didn’t like it so much he would probably call it a shack instead. At least it had running water, a fact that Eren was very grateful for. With technology and the hustle of the city far beyond them, they spent their time doing downright childish and primitive things. They swam, splashing around in the cold ocean water like careless kids. They hiked, taking in the natural beauty of the countryside. With Mikasa not having another one of her episodes, Eren even left her alone for a bit and tried fishing, only to discover that he is terrible at it. Staring at the bait, unmoving in the water, he couldn’t suppress a groan. Damn water creatures, they must be plotting against him. His evening got marginally better once he returned, seeing Mikasa preparing the outside table for dinner.

“What did you catch?”, she asked with a smile, obviously seeing that Eren wasn’t carrying any fish.

“My love for you.”, he replied before producing a small flower he picked, offering it as a gift.

Mikasa accepted it, putting it into her hair, and the hour spent being taunted by fishes just didn’t matter anymore. It was the 21st century, so they weren’t dependent on Eren’s ability, or rather inability, to fish - the food they brought would do. Cooking it over the small fire, they ate in relative silence, taking in the embrace of nature they found themselves in. After that, Eren produced a few more sweet treats from his bag and to Mikasa’s delight prepared hot chocolate and marshmallows. The shadows grew long and the evening steadily progressed into the night while they huddled on the bench, bundled in a blanket and with Mikasa once again shamelessly abusing the heat Eren’s body produced.

“Did you have any more visions?”, he asked cautiously, rubbing her shoulder.

“A few, but they were very faint.”, she snuggled closer into his embrace, “But I have this strange feeling while I’m here.”

“What’s that?”

“I think… I feel like Mikasa was pregnant.”

“Well damn, the brats were faster than us?”, Eren snickered, “Guess they didn’t have careers to focus on.”

“They did.”, Mikasa disagreed, “They had a whole mission of saving the world. They abandoned it to be together.”

“Romantic.”, with a gentle hand, Eren dragged his fingers through Mikasa’s hair, loving the silkiness of the natural black and the few artificially red strands, “Yet sad at the same time.”

“Very sad.”

“It does bring an interesting question.”, Eren continued,  “Would you abandon your career to be with me?”

Mikasa thought about it, deeply and carefully. She loved fighting, loved the freedom she had in the ring, loved working on herself and her body. Overcoming obstacles and winning against impossible odds made her feel strong, invincible. But despite all these facts, despite her loving MMA so much, she knew the answer.

“I would. Both fighting and modeling, for you I’d do it.”

“I think I would too, even if it would be tearing me up inside. If I couldn’t help people anymore, couldn’t set them free from their injuries…”, he took a deep breath, his chest expanding where Mikasa leaned on it, “Still, you are way too important for me. I would drop it all to be with you because living without Mikasa in my life is not worth it.”

Mikasa fell asleep out here, bundled up with Eren, but she woke when he carried her inside and put her to bed. Why? Because that old thing creaked terribly.

“Sorry…”, he murmured, making her snicker.

“Hardly your fault.”

“I’d prefer if you slept peacefully.”

“Is it because of the visions? I told you not to worry, only the first one was painful.”

She got up, stretched a bit, and went to change into her sleeping clothes. Eren mirrored her actions, and for a moment the only sounds in the cabin were the rustles of fabric.

“Would you look at that.”, he remarked once they were both changed, “There is only one bed.”

“Guess we will have to share.”, she plopped down on it, making the bed creak again, “I hope that you will not try to take advantage of the situation, good sir.”

“I wouldn’t dare ma’am.”

To her surprise, Eren did just that, lying down and pulling the covers over himself at a respectful distance from her.

“I wish you a good night, lady Mikasa.”

Eren’s back to her, Mikasa looked with a raised eyebrow as he did exactly nothing. When the silence stretched, she poked him in the shoulder.

“Hey Eren, you know that it was a joke right. I would very much prefer if you did something very inappropriate to me.”

He turned, the moon reflecting in his eyes.

“Are you sure?”

“What, are you scared that sex might bring back more of the memories?”

“I don’t rightly know.”, he confessed, “You had a headache from touching a bench, I have no idea what your triggers are.”

“Babe, stop worrying for a second,”, Mikasa grabbed a handful of his hair, tugging his face to hers, “And kiss me, you fool.”

He did so, and then it was the familiar dance. Clothing was torn and thrown away from their bodies, careless where it would land, littering the interior. Only once they were bare to each other did Mikasa roll on her back with Eren falling on top, their mouths not leaving one another for a second. She opened herself up to him, letting him have all the control when he pinned her hands above her head, their fingers entwining together on the aged sheets. There was no resistance from her when their groins touched, when Eren pressed his hardness against her heat, forcing her body to arch so beautifully. Their lips mashed together, hard and bruising, and soon the lack of air made them pant. Mikasa breathed with tiny soft moans that somehow tugged at his heart at the same time as his groin. His love and adoration for her were absolute, both physical and spiritual. That was until he felt something very cold rub against his legs. Despite his primal hunger for her, Eren tore himself away from Mikasa’s lips.

“Geez, your feet are freezing.”

Her response was a giggle and even more insistent cold rub.

“Then warm me up.”

Seeing her smile and hearing her laugh was intoxicating, making Mikasa happy was very high on Eren’s priority list. Angling his head he licked a long stripe, all the way from her collarbone to her pierced earlobe.

“All right.”

And then he was kissing her again because he loved her more than anything, even with her freezing feet. There was no one else he could even imagine doing this with because no one was like Mikasa. He knew her body, he knew it so well, yet Eren traced his touch all over it, letting his hands go down from the restricting hold on her wrists. She was pinned beneath his weight but Mikasa did not mind it at all. And exploring he went, down her face that put the sun to shame to the small yet perky breasts that were now heaving with her breathing. Groping the area shamelessly Eren indulged himself, playing with Mikasa’s chest until her breaths grew even more desperate. Her nipples were coming to life underneath his touch reacting wonderfully when he thumbed the nubs. Soon he had them fully erect, just as his cock was. The pinch he planted on the left one made Mikasa groan into the kiss, a sound that was so sexy that Eren forced her to do it again by pinching the other one. Down the plane of perfectly defined abs that belonged on a statue and not a living person, and down still. Smugly ghosting over the apex of her legs, Eren’s hands anchored on her thighs instead, caressing those beautiful muscular limbs. Mikasa could feel him smirk into the kiss, he knew that he was ignoring the place where she wanted him the most. Patient, compliant for now, she would let him keep the lead. He never let her down before.

Reversing his descent, Eren slid his hands upwards over the toned legs, taking in a handful of her ass. It fascinated him and it would never stop doing so, because Eren was a weak man and the thing that he was groping was the most perfect ass that there was, fueling his primal desires to no end. A thing to worship, caress and care for every single day.

And still they kissed, breathless and growing more and more aggressive. Her tongue traced his upper lip, prodding inside and sliding alongside his wet muscle. Then it was Eren attacking, pulling her bottom lip between his teeth. Raw and dangerous yet sweet at the same time, it was like kissing and being kissed by a wild animal sometimes. Mikasa was practically panting when Eren left her mouth to bite her neck, pressing his face into that silky skin he loved so much. The pale was now marked by him, imprints of teeth and reddening marks he sucked into it, definitive proof of his conquest.

Above him, Mikasa let out a breathy laugh at all that. Sure, the bites hurt but they were immediately soothed by Eren’s tongue and lips, leaving only a pleasurable tingle behind. He could be rough but he was always there to kiss the hurt away, to let her know how loved Mikasa was. Eren could hurt her but it was a beautiful pain.

A new sting originating from her chest let Mikasa know that he was now at her breasts, ravaging them. He nipped at the underside, knowing she’s ticklish there, mixing her breathing with airy giggles. The dark nipples were already hard from his previous actions, and they felt great in his mouth when Eren pulled them in, sucking Mikasa’s breasts. And then the bite came a clamp of his teeth against the super-sensitive bud that had her crying out and arching from the bed. A pinch and roll on the other and Mikasa was shaking beneath him, her mouth open in cries and pleas.

Down he went, kissing everywhere he could, making every inch of her flawless skin as his. Her stomach, her beautifully muscled stomach, her sharp hips, the lines that guided him to the place where the fire originated in. His lips were here and there, scrape of teeth against the hipbone and gone before Mikasa took full notice, everywhere and nowhere at the same time. To say that it was driving her crazy would be an understatement. Eren had the gall to call her a tease?

She was almost begging, she almost reached down to push him there when Eren’s mouth arrived at the apex of her muscular thighs, taking a handful of her cheeks and spreading them open for him. Mikasa assisted him more than willingly, biting her bottom lip to keep the excited noises in. Eren went down on her so many times but it was something she always looked forward to, the amazing pleasure he could provide with his mouth was an experience to be enjoyed a hundred, thousand times over. It would do her no good to squeal like a schoolgirl because Eren would surely tease her for it later, but it was hard to keep it inside. Brushing the midnight bangs from her eyes Mikasa looked down, wanting to see him because Eren pleasuring her was an incredible sight. Many times she was tempted to snap a picture, a quick photo of his mouth between her legs, but didn’t do it yet. Maybe one day.

It was oddly satisfying, watching Eren between her spread thighs. The tiny part of her recalled those hurtful memories, the “I’ve always hated you Mikasa”, that pain that belonged to someone else. It was her Eren’s perfect copy who said that but look at him now. Fully devoted to her, to Mikasa’s pleasure, ignoring himself just so he can make her feel better. Hate was miles apart from what Eren felt for her, judging from his actions.

“Something funny?”, he asked, hot breath blowing over her womanhood.

Mikasa must have been smiling, she realized, smiling because she got to have this, not hate and suffering.

“No, I’m simply appreciating how nice you are to me, how attentive.”

He grinned up at her, keeping eye contact while he stuck out his tongue, licking her sex in a single wide stroke, all the way from the bottom to the top.

“This? I’m doing this solely for myself.”, his next words were a sultry whisper spoken so close to her sex that it looked like he was talking to her pussy, not to Mikasa, “I adore how you taste.”

Maybe to prove his point, maybe because he did enjoy it Eren dipped his head down to lick at her again. It wasn’t a service, it was an exchange, because Eren was in turn blessed by the sight of Mikasa’s bare stomach, tense abdominal muscles contracting with every whine and breath falling from the raven’s lips. His actions were slow and languid, licking her outsides but not dipping in yet, getting her properly worked up first. There was no rush, was there.

The two fingers that appeared by Mikasa’s lips were not a surprise and she took them eagerly into her mouth, sucking them. Once properly wet, he pulled them out and repositioned his hand between her slightly trembling thighs. Pulling his head back, Eren pushed them in and they both disappeared into her with a wet sound, making Mikasa moan out loud. A beautiful sound, that.

Eren's fingers dutifully re-explored every inch of Mikasa's sopping wet sex, made so by both her juices and his mouth, gliding from one area to the next with ease that comes from years of practice. And as always it drove Mikasa insane, her hips shifting because that smug bastard wasn’t doing what she wanted. Knowing her ticks so well, Eren ignored Mikasa’s clit that was begging for his attention beneath its hood, not touching her there in the slightest. Why? Because he loved seeing her desperate.

“Please…”, it finally came from her trembling lips, music to his ears, “Please, Eren…”

“Please what?”

“Please… do it”, her chest contracted, “… do it properly.”

It would be shameful to admit that Mikasa’s pussy was throbbing at this point, her clit so poor and unattended, but it was the truth. Eren had a thing for driving her arousal high, much higher than necessary, before doing it right. She was begging now, in that small voice that he could never say no to, and he didn’t want to in the first place. But when he moved down to obey and his cheek touched her inner thigh, Mikasa groaned.

“You have a stubble.”, she accused him, “Scratchy stubble at that.”

“It would appear so…”, to tease, Eren rubbed his face against her sensitive skin making Mikasa yelp and frown at him.

“Shave. Tomorrow.”

“I…”

“No buts.”, Mikasa reached down, grabbing his hair and angling Eren’s face back down, reminding him of his mission between Mikasa’s thighs.

“Now go on, please.”

Right. Spreading her open with his fingers, Eren dipped his tongue in, the tip of the wet muscle sliding inside her. She was scorching hot, faintly pulsing around his tongue and Eren knew that he can make these contractions much, much stronger. Delvin deeper he licked everywhere where he could reach, wiggling his tongue inside of her. At the same time his fingers attacked her clit, rubbing the tiny circles she liked, and Mikasa was finally being given the proper oral treatment. The insistent swirling of his tongue combined with the expert touches on her slowly stiffening nub as Eren was teasing it from under its hood. Letting her head fall on the bedding, she let her lover know just how much she appreciates him by moaning because that’s what he always wanted to hear. The sounds that Mikasa could make in her turned-on voice were better than any music.

He switched it up, sucked on her clit while fingering her, two digits moving in and out at a murderous tempo. The tip of his tongue stroked the bud languidly, teasing it from beneath the hood, and then his lips were wrapped around it again and he sucked. Hard. Mikasa lost control of both her voice and her hips and they were moving on their own, riding, fucking Eren’s face. Her thighs moved too, wrapping around his head and caging him in with no chance of escape.

Trapped, imprisoned by her muscular thighs, Eren had no other way out than to keep pleasuring her, but he would be lying if he said that he didn’t love when Mikasa got demanding. Surrendering to her, he crammed a third finger inside her tight pussy to join the two already there, feeling the stretch as she accommodated him. Mikasa was so incredibly hot like this, sweaty and moaning while her body shook and her beautiful face contorted in the intense pleasure he was giving her. This was heaven, this sight was paradise, and Eren was so incredibly blessed to be allowed to do this to her, to this goddess that was in his bed. He needed her to cum on his face, he needed to taste her and he needed it now.

Putting all of his experience and skill to action, Eren fingered her hard while abusing her clit with his mouth. And when he curled the fingers and pressed into that one special spot, when he let his teeth graze over her clit, Mikasa lost it. She came hard, mind-shattering orgasm ripping through her body as she drenched Eren’s face and he lapped at the sweetness, tip toying with her throbbing clit. Those strong legs squeezed him too and her hips lifted from the bed, beautiful muscles forced to contract by the waves of pleasure flying through her entire being. She was delicious and Eren made sure to lick everywhere where he could, even sucking her cum from his fingers. Yes, he adored the taste, but while he was so diligently pleasuring her through the orgasm, drawing it out and making it even better, Mikasa had another vision.

Normally, her sight went white while cumming, but now there was something else imprinted over the otherworldly nothingness. Eren’s face was hovering over her, but it was the one with short hair and not her version. His face was sweaty and a bit embarrassed when he spoke.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hold myself back.”, not-Eren said in an ethereal voice. “I finished so fast…”

“Don’t worry.”, a phantom hand reached out to caress his cheek, “I don’t mind, it felt nice.”

“Not good enough,”, the other Eren disagreed, “I promise that I’ll make it up to you. I’ll get better with practice.”

Mikasa felt herself blushing, not only in one reality but in the other too, while the other Eren dipped his head down to kiss her. And that’s when the vision broke. Eren must have noticed it, must have heard her speak to his other self because his head shot up from between her legs.

“Hey? What’s wrong?”, he asked, eyes widening in alarm, “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, I..”, she held unto him, tightening her legs around his form and preventing Eren from fully pulling back, keeping him in, “Another memory, that’s it.”

“I thought that this was a bad idea. Am I going to get blueballed by myself? That would be somewhat next-level play.”

Mikasa chuckled.

“It wasn’t a bad memory, just unexpected.”, she reached out to smooth her fingers over the bedding, “Let’s say that we aren’t the only ones who went to town in a very similar cabin.”

“You did say that Dreamkasa was pregnant, so it’s only logical.”

She frowned at him for using that stupid nickname, but Eren’s cheeky grin didn’t budge as he climbed up her body until they were face to face again. His was wet, she noticed, as Eren never did mind having her essence all over himself. Mikasa would never admit it out loud but it was pretty hot.

“It was super sweet, they were inexperienced and oh so careful with each other.”

“I’d call myself a lot of things, but inexperienced is not one of them. Not with you around.”

“It felt good, I’m sure of that.”

“Better than me?”

“Oh Eren,”, she giggled, hands coming up to circle his wide shoulders, “Are you getting jealous of yourself?”

“Just..”, he moved low, his hot breath ghosting over her neck as he punctured the word with a bite, beginning a slow journey upwards.

“Answer”

Lick

”The”

Nip

”Damn”

Bite

”Question. ”

Kiss

”Mi”

Suck

”Ka”

Lick

”Sa”

Bite

And now he was at the top of her ears, teeth clicking against the piercings lodged into the goth’s vulnerable cartilage. He knew that the neck and ears were Mikasa’s weak points, and he abused the knowledge, fanning the fires of her just-orgasmed body.

“You! Of course that I prefer you.”, getting some self-control back, Mikasa pulled at his long hair to get Eren to face her, “I spent so long training you, what kind of teacher would I be if you sucked at sex.”

“Teacher? For a woman who almost died of shame after showing me her boobs for the first time, you have certainly grown. Miss possessive.”

“Of you? Always.”, she pecked him on the nose, “You’re mine.”

His hand went low, groping her naked ass.

“And you mine.”, he replied in a heated whisper, “All of you, even this ass. Did you know that it’s a perfect fit for the golden ratio?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your ass is a Fibonacci perfection.”

For the sake of her mental health, Mikasa decided to ghost over that comment as Eren could be somewhat strange with his compliments. She knew he meant well, and that was good enough.

“Okay, it’s yours. Why don’t you stop stalling and make me feel good, hm?”, her voice was sultry now, eyes half-lidded, “Show me how much you have learned…”

A challenge.

“Didn’t you just come?”

“So?”, single fine raven eyebrow raised, “Can’t you do it again?”

“You’re insatiable.”

“Aah, but I believe that you will sate me,”, her divine hand went low, squeezing his cock between those strong and dexterous fingers, “Right?”

He breathed hard against her naked skin, thoughts clouding. How could Mikasa make him so desperate with a single touch, that was a question Eren could never answer. Maybe trying to take advantage of his weakened state, Mikasa hooked a leg over his waist and pulled, attempting to roll them over. When Eren resisted she stopped, not wanting to force herself on top. There was a time and place for measuring strength, and this old and creaky bed wasn’t it.

To get an explanation for his actions, Mikasa tugged at his hair, getting Eren to look at the question written on her face.

“There is no way I’m letting you be on top.”, he answered the unspoken query.

“What? Why?”

“Miki, if you don’t remember, let me refresh your memory.”, his touch was back, one hand tracing the outlines of her abs while the other squeezed her thigh, “You literally broke a bedframe by riding me, and it was a much firmer than this squeaky one that’s here.”

“But I…”

“I’m not sure about you, but I don’t want to spend the night on the floor.”

Mikasa sighed, ceasing her efforts to roll him over.

“Fine.”

“Don’t you worry…”, Eren drawled out the words, kissing her neck again, “I’ll take good care of you.”

And he was inside her, pushing in with one sharp thrust that made her eyes roll back and mouth drop open. He abused that fact straight away, dropping his tongue between her lips and letting her taste herself. She was everywhere, in every crook of his mouth, every part of his face, every inch of his tongue, reminding Mikasa of how strongly he made her cum. Back and forth he fucked into her with determination, sliding in easily as her sex was drenched. Her black nails were at his back, carving into the skin, marking him with bloody wings over the tattooed ones. The sounds were wet, her moans thick, but Mikasa was Mikasa and she was a beast, impossible to tame and difficult to please.

“More…”, she half-moaned into the messy kiss. “Harder…”

With a groan and a primal need ignited in his lower belly, Eren pushed up into a kneeling position. If Mikasa wanted more, if she wanted to be fucked harder, then who was he to question his queen? Picking her legs up he put them on his shoulder, both on the left, creating a rather tight passage to squeeze through. Holding her ankles together with one of his hands, Eren anchored himself with the other and resumed the moves from earlier, picking up the pace.

Mikasa’s vision was beginning to swim. Her sounds were rising, her chest was heaving more and more, the way she panted for air was making Eren harder than diamonds. She wasn’t idle either, her hands moved, playing with her own breasts while he watched. It was arousing as hell to see, the way her slender fingers rolled the erect nipples between them, when she pinched and moaned out loud. Now it was Eren who wanted, no, needed more, overtaken by a desire to give Mikasa everything she deserves.

He needed to be closer to her heat, closer to that divine being that Mikasa was, so he pushed forward to do so. One of her legs back on the bedding, Eren kept a firm hold on the other as he spread her as wide as she could go. Mikasa groaned at the burn his move produced in her muscles, her legs being forced into a very wide angle, but it was a slight ache and easily forgotten in the heat of passion. Mikasa’s ankle was now practically resting above her own shoulder as she was half-doubled over, this position possible only because of how flexible she was. She was completely open to him, wanting nothing more than to be fucked senseless, and Eren did his best to deliver - truly rutting into her, his hips slapping into her ass again and again and again and…

She was going to have welts on her butt tomorrow.

Mikasa was moaning in sync with his thrusts, her Ah-Ah-Ah so much sweeter and better than whatever Eren’s foul mouth could produce. She was loud, no shame in how she let her pleasure vibrate out from her throat and that was music to Eren’s ears. After all, there was no need to keep silent as the animals were the only ones who could hear them. If they did mind the sounds of their lovemaking, they didn’t say so.

Intertwining their fingers, Eren marveled at how small Mikasa’s hand looked in his, how delicate. But when she squeezed and the strength reminded him that she is no helpless flower, very far from it.

It was wet and loud and powerful when he moved in and out of her, his cock soaked by them, by whatever they were doing together. The bed creaked beneath every time he thrusted, but they didn’t care. It felt like heaven to move inside Mikasa because she was so hot and so incredibly tight that Eren could never wish for more. Years, eternity, he could spend it all right at this moment when he is fucking her raw and throbbing pussy, repeating the moves over and over, disappearing and appearing out of her pulsing sex. He could spend eternity, but his physical form disagreed. It was getting too much to handle because it was so perfect, and Eren was not the only one on edge. He could feel it inside, how she pulsed more rapidly, how impossibly tighter she grew, so much that even pulling himself out to push in again was an exertion, a workout for his abdominals.

Eren didn’t understand her dreams, her visions, he didn’t understand why they happened. He didn’t have the faintest idea why he would ever, in any reality or timeline, want to hurt Mikasa. She gave him two things in her existence - undying love and devotion, and Eren could never reject these gifts. But then her muscled sheath squeezed all around his member, deep inside her, and he was reminded of one more gift that loving Mikasa brought.

The best and most intense sex one could ever ask for.

He needed help, anything to push her over first because the wave was approaching and Eren knew he can’t win. Dropping his hand low he located her clit and pressed against it, the effects almost immediate as that nub was more than sensitive at this point. Mikasa’s eyes shot open, a loud groan falling from her mouth when Eren rubbed her weak place at an almost feverish pace. The bed’s creaking was very loud too, the wooden headboard banging against the wall, almost as if the old furniture was protesting against being so shamelessly soiled. He could feel Mikasa’s wetness leaking, trickling down his shaft and down over his balls that kept slapping against her ass, and he knew that she’s right there on the edge.

If he wanted to edge her, if this was one of the nights where he tied her up and tortured her, now would be the time to stop. But tonight was not such a night, so Eren kept moving, stimulating all her weak points, and that was good enough. Her body arched beneath him into that perfect bridge, while she made that adorable face only orgasming Mikasa Ackerman can do when the second climax overtook her. One day, one day he will snap a picture of it in the perfect moment and that will be his gift to mankind.

Her moaning got louder as she came, most likely stirring a few animals from their sleep outside, but Eren loved it. He adored how loud Mikasa could get when she let herself go, when she stopped caring who heard and let her pleasure truly show. Normally she was the silent type, and it was quite a shame because her voice was beautiful and Mikasa could carry a tune perfectly. It took a long time before she was comfortable enough to sing for Eren, but when she did it was an amazing experience. The few times when they visited a karaoke bar were still lodged in his brain.

Now, Eren was making her sing quite a different tune, and it was an achievement for him knowing how good she was feeling, so good that her insecurities melted away and she was loud. But that was not all, as making Mikasa cum first was better for a multitude of reasons – it made him feel great mentally, it made her happy, but also for the selfish reason of being inside her while it happened. There is no way to describe how amazing it felt when she climaxed around him, as her body contracted and released, rapidly repeating that pattern, how her walls collapsed around his shaft and massaged, milking him. In short, it was like the most expensive sex toy in the world made specifically for his cock. Unable and not willing to resist Eren came inside her, filling her with several spurts. Way too much to fit, some of it dribbled out and down on the poor bed, making Eren smirk. They would have to change the sheets and maybe burn the ones that were here now. Filthy didn’t even begin to describe it.

For now though, he pulled out and collapsed on his back next to his sweaty lover, listening to her agitated breathing. The haze covered them both like a blanket, the pure euphoria that occurs after climaxing, nothing but unbridled happiness. Mikasa closed her eyes for a second and Eren wondered if there aren’t more visions going on in her brain, but he wouldn’t pry. If she wanted to share them with him, she would, but they were hers. With a rustle of sheets she turned towards the window, staring out into the darkness and stillness of a forest night, pondering something. At first, Eren wanted to speak up but then the moonlight shimmered over her porcelain skin and his eyes were drawn to the wings on her back. There was no better symbol for her - she was an angel, incredibly free, and when Eren was with her he felt like he could fly.

Mikasa felt his lips at her back, pressing gentle kisses against the skin before he picked up her wrist and did the same there, nuzzling it.

“What are you doing?”, she asked, not even bothering with looking away from the dark forest.

“Admiring your tattoos.”

“Again?”

“I’ll never stop doing it.”, another kiss to her wrist, “They are beautiful, just as you are.”

She giggled and rolled over to rest on his chest, shifting their position. Now they were cooling down from it all, Eren’s hand wrapped around her and gently caressed her hip.

“Hey Miki?”

“Hmmm?”, she hummed from his chest, not stopping the movement of her little finger that traced patterns into the skin.

“What if we bought this.”

“What, the bed?”

“No…”, he snickered, “The cabin. It would be nice to have a getaway from the city and the location is amazing.”

“I thought you didn’t like it.”

“Eh, I’m warming up to it.”, he squeezed her slightly, “Plus with you here, the cabin can be ugly as sin, you are the only beauty I need in the whole world.”

Mikasa snickered and kissed the underside of his jaw for that.

“Way too cheesy.”

Ha, like that would make him stop.

“Well, I am a firm believer in Mikasa supremacy. You could say that it’s my religion.”

Groaning, Mikasa hid her face in Eren’s neck to mask the crazy smile on her lips. Must have been her jittered hormones after the intense sex, the endorphin high always such a wild ride. Because yes, it was cheesy as hell but it felt great to see how much he adores her, about as much as she loved him back.

“Can you stop simping for me and tell me more about the sudden cabin-buyout plan?”

“I’ll never stop simping for you Miki, but I will tone it down if it will make my queen happy.”, squeezing her again, Eren continued with the original train of thought,  “We can rebuild it you know, upgrade it so it’s up to the living standard of the twenty-first century. It’s the location that’s amazing, this close to both mountains and the ocean and not that far away from the city.”

Mikasa pondered Eren’s proposal for a moment, but she knew the answer already.

“Sounds good. We could have gatherings here too, invite friends to take a breather with us.”

“While I’d prefer being here only with you, I guess that we can tone it down a bit if guests were over.”

When she didn’t understand what he was implying, Eren grinned down at her.

“You are quite loud during sex, and the walls are thin…”

The slap she planted on his chest was a loud one, but it did nothing to stop his laughter. Bickering back and forth over nothings, Mikasa didn’t even remember how they ended up kissing but here it was. Soon there was the familiar hardness poking her stomach and with her own embers smoldering, Mikasa was more than up for it.

She rolled on top, proving that if she wanted to Eren had no chance of stopping her. Staring up into her twinkling grey eyes, his smile turned into a small frown on the prospect of spending the rest of the night on the cabin floor. Eren loved Mikasa to death, but she was very bad at controlling her strength in the heat of their passionate lovemaking, and when that combined with how unnaturally strong she was furniture was bound to get destroyed. Or him, for that matter, if the pain in his neck and the scratches Eren could feel on his back were any proof.

“Miki please don’t, I beg…”

“Shh, I promise that I’ll be gentle. Somewhat.”

She leaned back, pulling Eren with her.

“Sit up,” she demanded.

Her desired position was with Eren sitting and her in his lap, bodies all entangled together. Mikasa loved the closeness it brought, like this she could feel every breath, every twitch from her lover. Bracing herself up on her knees, she reached blindly behind herself and found Eren’s length, easily identifiable by how he hissed when her fingertips brushed over it. Yet that hiss was nothing compared to the sound he made once she began angling him, because she let the tip pass over her pounded pussy and then he was close to the other opening, the realization making his eyes wide.

“You want to…?”

“Shut up.”

Mikasa could never do this if he wasn’t so wet, but Eren was drenched and she wasn’t much better, some of the wetness found its way down when she squirted before. Still, it made her grit her teeth when she began sinking, feeling her ass stretched to its limits by his invading girth. Anal was always more difficult, and now when there was no lube or plugs in beforehand it was hard to accommodate what Eren gave her. This was something else yet she kept impaling herself, unyielding. Huffs of breath through her nose, whole body clenching, she worked herself down on his shaft, penetrating her tight muscle ring inch by inch.

The muscles in his neck bulged and Mikasa knew that he’s fighting himself not to thrust up into her, into that tight heat that was sliding down in such a slow, torturous tempo. It didn’t help that he could feel some of his cum leak out of her other opening, now unattended, pushed out by how her inner muscles were forced to work again. Why did this filthiness turn him on so much, that was a question Eren didn’t want to answer.

Instead, he focused on her, on how she felt around him, sinking lower and lower, taking it like a champ. It was Mikasa’s show, Eren was more or less an observer right now, letting her do what she wanted. Yet he had to praise her because there was nothing else like this in the entire world, no one else could be this amazing.

“F-Fuck Miki… You feel too good.”

“S-Shut up…”, she repeated, having trouble speaking too, being stretched so much in that other place.

To stop herself from speaking and to shut Eren up too she mashed their faces together into a messy and wild kiss. And then finally, after several more up-and-down slides, she was fully sitting on his lap, his cock lodged deep inside her ass. It made her pant, the physical exertion, her abdominals fluttering. Watching those muscles move erratically, bathed in sweat as they were, that was a fucking beauty on its own. Eren didn’t even dare to move now, lest he disturbs the short rest Mikasa was taking, her head on his shoulder and the hot breath washing over his back. That was until she nudged his face with her nose, getting his attention.

“Help me…”, she moaned weakly.

“O-Okay... Okay…”, thinking was hard with her all around him, but Eren managed, “Let’s do this together.”

Mikasa nodded and braced herself on her knees while Eren grabbed her hips, lifting her. Together they moved, with Eren helping her along the ride. It was slow, way slower than how she rode him normally, but anal was always different. Mikasa circled her hips, rocked them back and forth, stretching herself more around his girth. Breathe in, breathe out, the unpleasant sting was fading and being replaced by pleasure as her butt got used to having Eren’s cock inside of it. Slow yet picking up speed, it was under Mikasa’s dictatorship with Eren playing the role of a helpful lackey. Willingly.

Her knees scrambled on the bedding and she was pushing herself up by the hands on Eren’s shoulders. Mikasa deemed herself ready for the next stage of her plan, which was finding a better purchase on the bed. Her feet finally found their place and she was squatting now, right on Eren’s lap. And then it was time to truly ride him.

Up and down she bounced, propelled by her powerful thighs, her ass sliding all over his cock, squelching it in its tight embrace. The repeated penetration finally convinced her muscles to give way, albeit just a tiny bit. It was igniting a primal need in her, the way he rubbed her insides, the tiredness burning away. Maybe it was because of her athletic body but Mikasa caught a second wind, spiraling down into a nearly animalistic state. The need for more was back, stronger than ever, so slapping her ass down onto Eren’s poor hips, she grinded into him hard.

“Come on, come on…”, it was coming through her gritted teeth, her gray eyes scorching Eren with the intensity.

“You keep saying how much you love my ass, right?.”, Mikasa practically growled the order, made wild by the overflowing feeling, “Show me.”

Normally, such words would never leave her lips but they were both far beyond normal. She was wild but Eren was no better, teeth clenched to match her. Bracing his feet against the bed he did as she asked, thrusting up to meet her descent half-way. He moved up, Mikasa moved down, their hips slapping into each other in the middle with a smack. Her ass sat down on him hard, crotch loudly protesting against being crushed like this. To help, to assist his feral goddess, Eren slipped his hand down to that squelching wet place. Spreading her open he toyed with her clit, and the multiple stimulations made Mikasa practically howl like a beast. She was an animal right now, an animal in heat reduced to its primal instincts, and Eren was fortunate, or unfortunate, enough to be her chosen mate.

Close, so close, the electricity was everywhere inside her, tickling her brain. Eren attacked with his mouth too, his teeth sinking into her neck before coming up to claim her lips. The kiss was bruising, the way she bounced on his lap too, and several things were nearing their breaking point. Mikasa, because Eren’s fingers at her clit were a godsend. Eren, because Mikasa kept grinding her ass down on him with fervor, her butt clenching so hard around his length that it hurt, reminding him how incredibly strong his lover was. And also the bed, because the old thing was not constructed to withstand this amount of wild pounding. It was a race, race on who would break first, and fortunately for all that was Mikasa.

With a last slam of her hips that pinned him and shook the bed so much that it nearly fell apart, Mikasa’s head tipped back, a wild scream tearing out of her throat as she squeezed him so hard that Eren swore out loud. It was the wild contraction of her muscles that pushed him over the edge to follow her, his cock spurting inside her with his second release, filling her ass with a smaller load. Done, finished and over, Mikasa slipped out of his hands and fell to her side, pulling herself away from his body. They laid there, side by side, catching their breath. The whole world seemed to take a breather, the animals outside wondering what kind of terrible duel took place in the usually peaceful cabin.

“God damn, Miki,”, Eren finally managed, “If I knew that a cabin would drive you this wild I would take you here ages ago.”

She chuckled, but a gust of wind from the opened window made her shiver. The sweat was cooling down and it was rather cold outside. Instinct at this point, she rolled back towards Eren’s heat, laying her hand on his chest, tangling their legs together and leeching shamelessly.

Mikasa was tired, tired from her performance and the long day, tired in the best possible way. She stilled completely and didn’t move, their bodies mashed together in one sweaty and dirty mess. Breathing hard, she could feel Eren’s chest contract beneath her, betraying that he too needed a small break from their intensive lovemaking. Yet resting while there is the mixture of your climaxes running down your thighs is hardly hygienic, so Eren stroked Mikasa’s back to get her attention, fingers tapping the bumps of her spine.

“C’mon, let’s abuse the running water and get cleaned up. This bed needs all its sheets changed or burned and I’m pretty sure that you shouldn’t be sleeping with a double creampie between your legs.”

She took a shuddering breath.

“Eren, I hate you and your dirty mouth so much.”

“Nonsense. Remember how hard you came when I ate you out?”

Done, Mikasa hid her face in Eren’s shoulder, ignoring how his body shook with the laughter.

The shower was surprisingly big, for a rundown shack like this, and it wouldn’t be Eren if he didn’t take advantage of the fact. Mikasa gasped a bit when his finger slid into her still-sensitive sex, looking at him over her shoulder.

“I told you to wash my back, not finger me.”

“I have to my sure that every part of you is clean.”, he leaned closer, “Before I make you filthy again.”

Closing her eyes, Mikasa decided not to fight her fate and let herself enjoy it. The feeling of Eren’s finger was soon joined by another one, and now there were two explorers inside her, poking and probing at the walls. Curling his hand Eren’s palm pressed against Mikasa’s clit, rubbing it slightly and getting her worked up properly. Her lover was right when he called her insatiable because Mikasa’s libido could be nigh bottomless. She blamed Eren – he knew her too well, knew her body better than his own at this point and all of her weak points were etched into his memory. He knew how to touch, how to stroke, where to press and rub and in what intervals. Mikasa’s body was a terrifying weapon, powerful and deadly in the ring, but Eren could turn it into a putty mush in his hands, all her lean muscles melting underneath his touch.

Okay, she could go again. She wanted it too because his fingers managed to re-ignite the fire between her thighs, stroking it higher and higher with every press against her clit. Reaching between her legs Mikasa tugged his hand out, turning to face Eren.

“Pick me up.”, she ordered him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Do I have to?”, he faked a pained expression, “You are so heavy.”

But Mikasa didn’t want jokes now.

“Eren, don’t.”

It was the tone in which she spoke those two words, her icy commander voice that would make him fall to his knees in the middle of a crowded street if ordered him to. It was the one that allowed no argument nor question, only blind obedience.

“Yes, my lady.”

With a grunt Eren picked her up, letting Mikasa wrap her strong legs around his waist. He was grateful for the assistance, as Mikasa’s body was heavy, but if there was one thing Eren could do after all that gym-going, it was holding up his girlfriend. The water beating down on their bodies, her eyes locked to his as she manipulated her hips blindly until his tip was resting against her folds.

“Ready?”

A single nod being the answer, Eren eased his hold on her and let gravity assist them. Of course that Mikasa had to do something, wouldn’t be her if she didn’t. Bracing on Eren’s shoulders, she let herself go slow, super slow, torturing him with the tempo. In hopes of appeasing her, he dropped his head to her exposed breasts, tonguing the red marks he left behind earlier. Mikasa’s tits would be littered with bitemarks come morning, and she was silently very grateful that there were no swimwear photoshoots on her agenda anytime soon. Sure, the makeup artists could cover the marks Eren left on her and Mikasa’s neck often had to be worked on but having them tap their brushes against her chest was something else entirely.

This time around it was no wild pounding, they were both way too exhausted for that. It was slow lovemaking with Eren pulling her up and letting the gravity push her down on his cock, over and over, until the familiar heat awoke and slid into her whole body. Mikasa came with a gasp that she hid in Eren’s shoulder and he was quick to follow, the last bits of his essence squeezed and milked out of him by her inner muscles. And then it was time to truly get cleaned and rest, although Mikasa had a faint feeling that she might not be able to walk tomorrow.

And yes, the morning proved that she was right in that assessment, but Eren was no better. With how hard Mikasa rode him, he had bruises and welts all over his hips, and his neck looked like someone was trying to choke the life out of him. Well, Mikasa did, because her thighs moved on their own while she was cumming and squeezed the poor man between them hard, but Eren was used to it at this point. With both of them out of commission, the next day was spent doing nothing and lying around, giving their bodies time to heal. Still, it was totally worth it.

Two days later, everything was falling into place. Mikasa’s visions were less and less frequent until they stopped completely, letting her know that there was nothing more the cabin could show her right now. All she could do was wait, her visions would come when the time was right.

With the closeness of the mountains they went skiing too, Mikasa acing it as she did anything that is a physical sport. Eren had his issues, not nearly as perfect as she was, but after a few hours of training and guidance from her, he could hold his own on the treacherous devices strapped to his feet. Exhausted from the skiing, they practically collapsed as soon as they were back in the cabin in dire need of rest.

Eren was fast asleep when Mikasa woke, slipping from his embrace and out of the creaky bed. Making a cup of coffee for herself, she opened the door and watched as the sun slowly climbed from the horizon and up. It was so beautiful here, so peaceful, and she knew exactly what to do. Mikasa was meant to be here, this was the place where she would get her last dream, the last piece of the puzzle, the final chapter of the story. Here, she would know what happened to her other self, how she ended up. And taking a sip of the hot beverage, a tight smile spread over the raven’s lips.

Mikasa was looking forward to that.

A rustle of sheets behind her indicated that Eren was stirring about. It was like an instinct at this point – when he couldn’t feel Mikasa next to him his sleep was usually mediocre at best as if his mind is constantly checking if she’s there with him, safe and sound. Mikasa didn’t turn, keeping her eyes on the rising sun even when she heard his bare feet tapping against the wooden floor behind her. Soon she was enveloped in a warm hug from behind.

“Hi.”, he whispered into her ear, kissing her cheek after.

“Morning. There’s coffee if you want some.”

“Hmmm, later…”, he yawned behind her, “I’ll keep hugging you for a bit longer.”

With a smile Mikasa put her hand on his, intertwining their fingers. And feeling it, feeling the fingers splayed on her stomach reminded her of something, a faint feel of memory hitting her again. They stood like this, exactly like this, with Mikasa gazing out and Eren behind her, but there was one significant difference. There was a baby bump on her midriff, beneath their intertwined hands.

Mikasa took a sharp breath through the nose once she realized that, looking down. There was no baby, of course, her and Eren’s hands were nestled against her firm abdominals. But in her mind’s eye, she could see it, and to her surprise Mikasa liked that image. The implant in Mikasa’s arm burned for a second, reminding her of its presence and function.

Her mood was completely shattered when Eren rubbed his cheek against hers, his stubble scratching her and reminding Mikasa of the night before.

“Eren, the shaving?”, she reminded him gently yet didn’t pull away, enduring the feeling.

“Hmmm.”

“I could shave you, you know.”

“That would be nice.”, he pressed a quick kiss to the side of her neck, “Thank you.”

“Could cut your hair too…”

“As long as you don’t give me an undercut.”

“Why’s that?”

“Miki I love you but I don’t want to be reminded of Levi every time I look in the mirror.”, he shuddered behind her, “When he sees us kissing my life flashes in front of my eyes.”

“You have to overcome the fear of my brother.”

“It’s not fear, it’s respect.”

“Oh? And why do you respect him that much then?”

“Because he is so similar to you! It’s like a shorter and much grumpier male version of you who doesn’t love me at all. And that is scary, because I know how much stronger than me you are, and I’d go as far as saying that your brother dislikes me.”

“Just stronger?”

“Well, way more beautiful too, but that doesn’t count with Levi.”

“You have it all figured out, huh.”

“For sure. You are stronger than me and Armin is smarter, so if we ever get into a real conflict I’ll argue with you and fight Armin.”

She laughed at that, marking Eren’s mission of making his angel happy as complete. With that he buried his face in Mikasa’s neck completely, filling his nose with the pleasant smell of her natural scent. She was giggling, the heavenly sound in his ears, and that was simply the best way to start a morning.

“All right then.”, she reached out to pat his cheek, scratching it gently, retaliation for the agony his beard caused her, “Just don’t shit your pants when Levi walks me down the aisle.”

His voice was muffled against her skin.

“You want him at our wedding? Ugh…”

“Eren, he is my brother. Behave.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Giving up on morning Yeager, Mikasa took hold of her coffee with both hands and took another long sip. Maybe roused by the sound Eren raised his head.

“Let me have a taste?”

“Sure, here…”, she almost handed him the cup before realizing what he meant, “Oh..”

With a grin Eren took a hold of her chin, angling her head so he could kiss her. It felt nice, especially when his tongue swept against the seam of her lips and she let him in, touching it with her own. And when he pulled back and smacked his lips, Mikasa smiled because of the raw happiness she felt.

“How is it?”

“Good, I feel like I need a cup myself.”

“Do you?”

“Maybe, let me have another taste to be sure.”

So Mikasa kissed him again and they stood there tangled together while the sun steadily climbed over the horizon. And everything felt right.

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 134 Review

Thank you. Thank you so much. This means so much to me.

(Ofc this chapter is called “In the Depths of Despair.”)

Sigh.

So, I guess I have to have an opinion on this chapter now.

For a while there, it looked like SNK had made the right choice.

Eren was the asshole. He was insubordinate, ungrateful, uncooperative, and above all else, a fucking sociopath. Cool, got it. One and done.

But then his friends started talking about how it was really their fault he’s doing this.

Ok, that’s fine. They’re desperate to stop him, so they’re just saying whatever they think will ingratiate themselves with Eren and help talk him down. Dynamics like that are very common in abusive relationships.

Now we arrive at this chapter, where even random people are saying Eren is a victim *as he is murdering them!*

It is patently absurd that Eren is having a warranted or natural or reasonable reaction to what he’s been through.

If Eren were a better person, he would have known that mass murder against the Eldians was wrong because mass murder is wrong. Unfortunately, Eren is a fundamentally amoral person. The only moral compass he has to guide him is a childish belief in “you hit me, so I get to hit you.”

He’s said as much on multiple occasions. He has said, “If someone tries to take my freedom away, I will take their freedom away.”

Instead of being the better man and ending the killing, his solution was to kill more people than them, faster and on a larger scale.

I think the clearest picture of Eren’s worldview was given when he spoke to Historia. He said the only way to end the cycle of violence was to destroy the whole world.

That is Eren’s deeply felt belief: there can be no peace or coexistence; the only way to win is to be the last man standing.

This mindset is so natural to him that he will even kill his friends for opposing him.

He told them that they were free to oppose him, and he was free to fight back. That’s how he justifies killing them to himself. They have the choice to oppose him, so if he fights back and kills them, it’s their fault they died, not his, because they could have made the choice to flee and live, but decided to stand and die.

In reality, the alliance is fulfilling a moral duty to protect life, while Eren is an asshole who has killed billions.

The series wasn’t kind to Eren about that. He was depicted as a cheering child as he murdered everyone. The Rumbling was not white washed either. The take away was obviously that Eren’s decision was not the product of a sound mind.

And yet.

Now I have to wonder if the series is seriously trying to say the Rumbling embodies some form of justice.

There are multiple layers to this issue, so let’s start at the surface level.

So in what is obviously a ham-fisted attempt by Isayama to lecture the audience about morality, a Random Commander Guy filibusters about the ills cast by the Marleyans on the Eldians and how this has rebounded back at them.

It is generally considered good writing for characters to get their just desserts. If someone sells drugs to kids, you expect something bad to happen to them. If someone helps a kid cross the street, you expect something good to happen to them.

What’s different between a generic case of just desserts in a story and this chapter in SNK is that the dessert is typically delivered through some nebulous, karmic force, rather than a vengeful twerp with God-like powers.

When the drug dealer’s car blows up, it’s karmic fate, not revenge.

The car doesn’t blow up because one of the kids devoted his life to exacting revenge, it’s because the car just blows up for no reason, or because something completely unrelated to the dealer causes a bomb to be planted in the car, or the dealer brought it on themselves by getting caught up with terrorists.

People may or may not deserve to suffer, but it’s fine to show people suffering if you’re just trying to make a point about how people should act.

Eren’s a different case. For several reasons.

To help untangle why, let’s think about the death penalty.

The death penalty is an example of retributive justice. Put simply, it’s the idea that retribution can be morally just.

The Rumbling is immoral precisely because it is something a supporter of retributive justice would emphatically NOT support.

Most supporters of the death penalty would justify it as an act by a legitimate societal authority. Eren is not that.

Eren is not an authority figure. He does not speak for the Eldian people and has no right to exact this genocide on their behalf. No one made him King of the Eldians. It’s not his place to decide what’s in the Eldian’s best interest.

Also, killing people because “it’s what the scumbag deserves” is usually justified because it’s a sentence for a crime handed down in a legal process.

Rights can be taken away, but not arbitrarily. Transparency is an important part of this. Acts that are a crime are public knowledge, as well as the prescribed punishments. The criminal law is also supposed to apply to everyone equally, not selectively. To say nothing of the law itself being duly enacted by a legitimate governmental authority.

The same principles apply to the process by which a right is taken away. The process must be laid out in a law that was duly enacted by a legitimate government authority, applies to everyone, and is publicly known.

Eren’s process, of *fucking* course, is nothing like this. Eren has no legitimate authority. He’s a Guy With an Opinion who bumbled into attaining absolute power, and now he’s acting on that Opinion.

He not the government punishing a convict. He’s a guy with a gun shooting people he doesn’t like. The Rumbling is not just retribution, it’s just murder.

Commander Guy says that if they knew this would happen, they would have acted differently.

That’s a good point.

Why the fuck do they deserve to die, then?

To some extent, everyone’s worse impulses are kept in check by the knowledge that there will be consequences if they act rashly.

But it’s not just that.

Laws are public knowledge for a reason: it’s fair. If you know your act is a crime and that performing said act will result in a certain punishment, then by committing the act anyway you have tacitly accepted whatever punishment will be meted out.

The moral onus is placed on you.

This is why knowledge that you are committing a crime is necessary to be convicted of a crime.

In principle, the case with the Marleyans is the same. Is it fair to punish someone for an act they did not know would carry that punishment? No.

They may know the act was immoral, but that is not the same thing as knowing it will lead directly to their death.

And needless to say, but you only deserve to be punished for an act if you deserve to be punished for that act. The Marleyans do not deserve to be punished for that act.

There are multiple ways a wrong can be righted. There are punitive ways, in which the perpetrator is harmed outright. There are also restorative ways, in which the victim is compensated for the harm done to them, usually at the expense of the perpetrator.

I have already explained why Eren lacks the authority to pass judgement on the world, and that the process by which he made his decision was completely illegitimate, but it needs to be said that this punishment is totally improper in itself.

Wiping out humanity is purely punitive. To use the obvious analogy, I don’t think any sane person would argue white people deserve to be punished for racism. Supporters of racial justice usually talk about restorative, rather than punitive, forms of justice, like reparations.

The Rumbling does not make the Eldians whole again. It does not restore their trampled dignity. It is purely an act of vengeance.

Casting it as some kind of deserving retribution is crazy.

Oh, and, you know, suffering is bad, so retributive justice is wrong even disregarding everything I just said.

You could theoretically believe life is a miracle, but that people forfeit that right if they act wrongly…it’s not something many people would support.

If Dino!Eren had been depicted as a random force of nature that visited ruination upon humanity, we could have potentially gotten a good story about how hatred leads to no good outcomes. Like how Godzilla is a metaphor for the ills of nuclear weapons.

Instead we get a nihilistic tale about two sides punching each other until one keels over dead. And somehow the one that keels over deserved it.

What makes it nihilistic is that you could easily reverse it. What if right before Eren destroys Fort Salta, aliens invade the Earth and help the Marleyans.

Now the Eldians are on the verge of annihilation and *Eldian* Commander Guy gets his turn to say “Woe is us who surrendered to hate. We deserve this.”

There is no right side or wrong side. No deserving side or innocent side. The Eldians were cheering for genocide the same as the Marleyans. The difference is the Eldians had a God on their side.

The morality of this series is just all over the place.

The Alliance and Eren are equally sinful, but now Eren is an agent of karmic destiny and his victims “deserve it.”

There isn’t much to talk about this chapter besides that.

Armin still hopes to take Eren alive, but good luck with that.

Eren can manifest other titans from his body, which is cool I guess, though it’s pretty clear this power only exists to give the Alliance things to fight.

There were a lot of allusions to parenthood this chapter. The baby and the cliff. Reiner’s mom realizing how shitty she’s been. Historia’s pregnancy. The Commander Guy saying it’s the fault of “us adults.” The numerous shots emphasizing the kids at Fort Salta.

Child abuse is a common theme of SNK. And not just parental abuse, but societal abuse, too. Children are the victims of individual foibles and broader social ills, like racism and police brutality.

The cycle of violence at the heart of the series’ conflict is bad for everyone, but the story emphasizes that it is bad for children in particular. It harms them, and leads to a world that is worse off for them.

If there’s one takeaway from SNK, it’s that we should think of the children. Adults shouldn’t just take care of their kids, they should fix broader social issues, if not for themselves then for the children’s sake.

It’s a fucking insult.

Historia’s pregnancy is all but confirmed here. There’s no way it’s fake. There may have been motive to fake being pregnant, but there is no fucking way she’d have a reason to fake *birth*.

I always leaned towards the pregnancy being real, so that didn’t get to me. What gets me is that Historia is just…there. On Paradis. On the sidelines.

Not only was Historia, who is the only likable female character in this show now, impregnated, she’s also been MIA most the last two story arcs.

I had thought Isayama was saving her for the finale. Surely, Isayama understands that if you sideline a major character for no reason, they have to come into play at some point, I thought. Surely.

Characters are tools; they exist to be used. So use them.

But no, it seems Historia is legit not going to be a thing in this final battle. My dreams of the domineering boss saving the day are dashed.

But what really messes with me is how shafted Historia has been since basically the end of the Uprising Arc.

Historia’s only contribution to the plot after Uprising, but before the pregnancy was making the disastrous decision to make the truth of the world public, which paved the way for Paradis society to become radicalized and back Eren’s coup.

She has done nothing other than that.

Obviously her pregnancy will have thematic importance, but at this point the best Historia stans can hope for is that she’s the main character in the epilogue.

I’ve always assumed the pregnancy was the product of a loving relationship. For all his incompetence with Historia, I was willing to assume Isayama would not force her to carry a forcibly impregnated child to term.

And you know that even if the child is the product of rape, Historia will still have to say she loves and accepts them as her child and will raise them lovingly, with no regard or acknowledgement of the trauma of having to raise a child born out of her being raped.

Because the theme of the story.

All life is a miracle.

All children deserve to be loved.

Even if it was rape.

Except it’s more complicated than that, and I’m terrified to think that Isayama may not understand that.

So for now, I choose to presume that Historia is pregnant because she loves someone, decided to have a family with them, and we’re being led to believe she was raped for shock value.

But arguably more important is what this means for the queer audience.

Historia’s first love interest was another woman.

She’s queer. A lesbian. A dyke. What have you.

Now you’re telling me she either loves a man, or was not only raped, but has to love and accept the child that results from that trauma?

And for what?

So we can end the manga on a speech by Historia moralizing about the value of posterity?

Historia stands at the nexus of two subjects in this manga: the value of posterity and the denigration of queer people.

It is very homophobic of this series to pair a queer character with a dude to affirm a message about the value of children and motherhood.

As if queer people can’t have children.

We seem to be headed down that path.

It didn’t have to be like this.

Queer people can have children through artificial insemination. And artificial insemination is conceivable with Paradis’ current level of technological development.

Isayama is choosing to do this because queer people are not a part of his vision of a world where people, especially children, are able to live free.

That’s very sad, because it shows how empty SNK’s morals are.

So who’s the slave here?

Who here is truly free?

The ones who are free are the ones who aren’t reading Attack on Titan anymore.

[roguephoenix85]

Final chapter - is Ymir badly written or is it something else? (spoiler for the end of SNK)

TW: mentions of child abuse, sexual abuse 

So I’ve seen a few people confused, upset, and a little angry about the explanation for Ymir “loving” Fritz as the reason why things were as they were, and claiming it’s bad writing and rushed and what have you. I don’t claim to know all the nuances and in and outs of long form storytelling such as Attack on Titan, but I do know some things about being a victim of brainwashing, abuse, and defending the people who abused me. Some are saying it’s Stockholm syndrome, and while I don’t necessarily disagree, it’s a bit more nuanced than that. Because I did everything I could to get away from my family that hurt and abused me, but I still kept them in my life for some inexplicable reason, year after year, involving them in it and divulging information to them that they would use to harm me psychologically and mentally for their amusement and sense of power and superiority. Why? Everyone outside of my family who observed it could see that they were shitty and awful and I didn’t need them. But after 30 years of being told I’m incompetent, no one loves me like they would, I can’t take care of my life responsibly like an adult would, and that I’ll never have enough money to live unless they helped (and the condition of their help was to give them control over my care - they picked doctors, therapists, everyone, that would give them the diagnoses they wanted so it would be an easier case to be declared legally incompetent and have my mother control my financial and housing freedom), I had internalized it to such a degree that I truly believed those things about myself. My depression and suicidal thinking sprung from the conflict that this treatment wasn’t right vs. but they’re your family and they love you so they MUST be right, you MUST be an evil child to be controlled, and YOU’RE the problem. When that is all you know, you think that it’s love. Because the love you receive is conditional upon subservience.

Ymir wanted love and the only “love” was from the king once she acquired power. As much as she wanted the love she observed the only love available was manipulative and abusive. If you’ve never known actual unconditional love, you’ll take anything that you’re given.  That’s why I was raped. That’s why I was molested. That’s why I allowed myself to compromise myself to stay with people who only sought to use and manipulate me for their own ends.

Because there was none around me. And when you’re terrified of death and attached to the world, wanting and hoping that someday something good will finally happen, you latch on to people, ideas, objects that end up doing more harm than good to you, because all you know is that abuse is what love is. Mistreatment is the norm. But inside, you know it’s not right. Something doesn’t feel right. So you hope. You pick the first person who gives you any value, even if it’s your value to them and not your own inherent value you’ve found for yourself. You never truly live for yourself. You’re living so that others will give you your value. Because when you did do things for yourself - you’re ridiculed. You’re betrayed. You’re humiliated and abused more. You’re kicked so much that you go back, again, and again, because the humiliation is worse than just letting them do what they want to you. That’s what happened to Ymir. The one time she did something she wasn’t “supposed to”, what happened? She got hunted and almost murdered. And when she found that power, she had value to her oppressor. Her tribe betrayed her to save themselves. This “king” tried to have her killed. But she found power. And once she had power, her abusers sought to capitalize on it. She had no one. So when you gain power and all of a sudden you have value to someone? You latch on. Because now you’re important. Now you’ve elevated yourself. But that value isn’t something for YOU. It’s something that is for the benefit of someone who only values you when you’re doing something for them.

I’ve noticed a lot of “I don’t get why Ymir would love the king, that’s bad storytelling”. My mother is a sociopath and allowed my molestation when I was a child because “everyone else went through worse and you’re a nasty little girl” - to a nine year old. She schemed to take my inheritance away from me. When my visitation with my father was over for the weekend, she would abuse and manipulate me for three days after every visit to “get me back to where I needed to be.” I would be choked, slapped, hit, have my room ransacked and destroyed if I didn’t comply with her wishes. When I wanted to kill myself because I found no solace with friends, teachers, therapists (that my mother sought out and paid for because she wanted someone to declare me incompetent or bipolar so she could take away my legal rights and exert control over every aspect of my life), neighbors, no one, even my own stepfather told me I was stupid for wanting to kill myself and that I’m ungrateful for everything. I would later discover this man was a heroin addict for longer than I had even been alive and that the only reason my mother stayed with him was because he had a large inheritance that would come to him and she could easily have his power of attorney taken away from him and control him because hey, he’s a drug addict and can’t be trusted. Better to let her take care of it all, right?

And even after all of this, I loved her. Well, I used to. I would keep wanting her love and respect because to give it up meant I had no value to anyone. The two significant others that I did have didn’t really love me, my last one was also a sociopath who convinced me to snort adderall, take hallucinogens, and stole my car to commit sexual assault against a mutual friend who had been assaulted not even 6 hours prior by someone else. When all you know is abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, and harming yourself to get a modicum of dignity and respect and love, of COURSE you stay. Because no one else loves you, right? You’re worthless and stupid and have no value except to me. I’m the only one who can love you. I’m the only one who can use you properly. Just do what I say and what I want and don’t complain or worse will happen to you. Families don’t do this to each other, you’re just mad that I’m better than you. Choices are hard, let me make them for you because clearly you can’t handle the “real world.”

When you are told these things and unduly punished for pushing back against it, of COURSE you think it’s love. Because no one is giving it to you otherwise. They isolate you, triangulate you so you HAVE to go back to them. And you do it. Because there’s nothing else around you showing you otherwise. It’s only when you share the story with others, or view it through the lens of someone else, that you understand how fucked it truly is. Under the under, Ymir is a child. She’s a child who wants to be loved. And all she’s known is manipulation and abuse. For thousands of years, because each “founder” was just her original abuser in a new body. Like Zeke. 

Until Eren. Who saw her story, and instead of using her, validated her. Saw her experiences through an objective lens and said ENOUGH OF THIS. This is WRONG. It’s SICK. And it won’t end unless I do this. Until I give her the choice to break free. All it takes is one person to listen to you and hear you and your world is changed. But she never appeared as she did when she died. She was still a hurt child beholden to her abusers. And in this instance, the only thing that could make it stop is destroying it completely. 

Is genocide wrong? Yes. Is scapegoating an entire race of people in the name of world unity wrong? Yes.  Is using children for war and power and brainwashing them wrong? Yes. This world is cruel. It always was. That’s been the thesis of this story from day one. But. It’s also beautiful. But you have to allow that beauty in. You have to show it to people. Ymir wasn’t able to see any of it until it was far too late, but not from her own conscious choice. She’s just a child who wants to be loved and only found manipulation. And was scared of “death” because that meant there was no love in the world. None for her. Her existence was to be used and fucked to death metaphorically. And when that’s the only love you’re given and told to expect, you hold on to it and believe there’s nothing better.

Until someone or something objective comes along, hears your pain, shares it, validates it, and then tells you it’s fucked up that that’s how you were forced to live. When everything you’ve known is a fucking lie, you do want to scorch the earth somewhat. All these people that could have helped you and they said fuck you, I’ll use you too. Standing up to your abuser is scary. I’m currently suing my mother now, and I’ve been terrified of her retaliation even though I’m 35. Because she has money and people she can manipulate into harassing me on her behalf. Even though I’ve taken as many precautions as I can, there’s still things she can do - ensure I get none of my inheritance, destroy my childhood memories, slander me publicly, fly out to where I live and stalk me or have others stalk me, or find people loyal to her to assert that I should be declared incompetent because of my autism, even though I have my own doctors I see now who disagree with that sentiment. It’s scary, but it’s right. But I’m also an adult now, and when I realized that my stepfather was telling everyone in the family that when he was high on ketamine I convinced him to murder my birth father, and that it was MY IDEA, and that my mother lied about reporting my sexual abuse to DHS because she wanted to protect her brother, his kid that abused me, and their family over me, and also had me lie about my birth father abusing me by convincing me “Oh it was so traumatic you can’t remember” so she could get custody of me just because she hated him, I finally said enough. But I didn’t have an Eren to help me make that decision. Or a Mikasa to do what needed to be done.

Ymir is still just a child mentally. Separation from that, especially when you’re a child and have no other allies in the world and you’re told worse could happen to you if you separate from your abusers, is difficult. And sometimes nonsensical. I know a lot of people were confused as to why I would still try to involve my mother in my life after the insanely fucked up shit she would do. But you don’t know any better when you’re the target. My reasoning is that I’m an adult now and I have a life of my own I’ve built despite her. Ymir didn’t have, or didn’t understand, that choice. So she stayed. Asking for breadcrumbs of love and respect and dignity from lesser beings. To quote Chelsea Hart “You want to be worshipped by a goddess without having to be a god.” She had the power, and she didn’t know what to do because she was a child. So she gave away her power. And by then it was too late to be properly reasoned with. The only way to stop it was to destroy all of it. Because when you’re a child you don’t have the benefit of retrospect. You have a limited view of the world because you’re a child. You’ve been sheltered and told manipulative bullshit to keep you down, so breaking free is the radical thing. And when you’re a child, you don’t know moderation. You’re impulsive and your emotional intelligence is limited. So of course the rumbling is the result. But you also think you still love your abuser. Because that’s all you know truly, and when you don’t see it until it’s too late, this is the result. It’s tragic, but Isayama never said this was a happy story. And considering how he WAS going to end it, giving who remains another chance at life and evening the playing field by having Paradis’ army now be comparable to the opposition army, and having the curse of the Titans eliminated from the world, that’s a pretty good ending for them.

I mean, isn’t that what Eren’s goal was since he was a child? To eliminate the Titans from the Earth? I’d say that mission is fully accomplished now.

[attack-on-neverland]

4. Ending the Cycle of Hatred

Eldians vs. Marleyans, Humans vs. Demons

Everything discussed so far has led back to the question “How do you stop the never ending cycle of hatred?” Both Attack on Titan and The Promised Neverland have explored the possibilities of negotiation, intimidation, violence, and full-on annihilation of those who get in the way. However, despite ending up in different paths, one hopeful message reigns clear.

The Alliance - a group made of Eldians, Marleyans, and those from other nations

In Attack on Titan, it was mentioned that conflict will always exist as long as a diverse set of people with different ideals exist in the world. Conflict is part of our world and it will never cease to exist. The only way around things to work through them, even if it is seemingly impossible. Even Eren knew that the Rumbling was an unnecessary act of violence, which was why he wanted to take the blame for himself. While it’s true that the attack on Paradis would have ensued immediately if Eren didn’t act quick enough, there were definitely other alternatives that didn’t involve purging the whole world. If the Survey Corps and the Marleyan captives were able to form some sort of truce with one another, why can’t it work with the whole world?

The conversation between Grisha Jaeger and Kruger

As Eren Kruger puts it “Love someone within the walls. Even someone on the street, it does not matter. Your wife Your child. If you can’t do it, we’re doomed to repeat it all again. The same history. The same mistakes.” This is one of the most beautiful quotes in the whole series because as cheesy as it sounds, it shows how unconditional love caan really change things around. Eren Kruger is a Marleyan (and is naturally discriminatory towards Eldians). However, he urges Grisha to love these ‘devils’ or else hate and history are bound to continue in a never-ending cycle. In the end, it does work out. He ends up loving his wife (Carla) and passes on the duty to his son (Eren). In fact, Grisha becomes one of the characters most loved by the others in the story as he took in Mikasa without hesitation, cured countless Eldians from their illnesses, and was a loyal ally to Keith Shadis. Going back to Kruger, what’s interesting is that it’s eventually revealed that Eren utilizes Paths in order to deliver that message to Grisha. Eren /did/ believe in the power of loving the other, but his desperation caused him to prioritize the lives of his friends instead.

Niccolo and Sasha

One example of the “Love someone within the walls” idea was the relationship of Niccolo and Sasha. As an avid food lover, Sasha immediately took a liking to Niccolo’s Marleyan cooking, and despite being deprived of seeing their relationship develop (in both the manga and anime), we do see glimpses of what had happened between the two. After Sasha’s death, Niccolo proclaims how Sasha had saved him from this “stupid, worthless war” and showed him that he could bring happiness through his food. Despite his prejudices towards the Eldians at first, it is evident that Niccolo changes over his time with the Scouts. Even after Sasha’s death, he keeps his ties with the other Scouts and even saves them from a potentially fatal event. He even invites Sasha’s family for a meal to honor their daughter. Here, it is evident that the cycle of hatred has been broken. However, we see the remnants of this cycle when we backtrack a little.

Gabi and Udo witnessing the death of Zofia who is crushed under the rubble

The one who killed Sasha was actually Gabi Braun, one of the younger Marleyan warrior candidates. After Eren’s destruction of the city and the Eldians coming to save him, Gabi is left in shock and distraught as she sees Edo and Zofia die before her very eyes. The young girl is suddenly exposed to the realities of war as innocent civilians are ruthlessly crushed, bombed, and murdered. If you think about it, this is actually Eldia’s counterattack for the hatred they’ve endured all these years and their seeming “banishment” from society. So this shows how the cycle continues. In the beginning, it was attacks towards other civilizations, then attacks towards Paradis, then counter attacks towards Marley, and now a little girl fighting back by killing one of Paradis’ elite soliders. The cycle was even supposed to continue right then and there if the senior Survey Corps members weren't there to stop them from killing Gabi. However, you do see how the cycle of hatred continues to manifest in Gabi as she continues to belittle Eldian civilians, calls them devils, and rejects any offer of kindness from them. This goes on and on until Gabi is saved by Sasha’s family. It was only when it dawned on her that she was saved despite killing their daughter that she realized that the Eldians are not devils, but people like her. From that moment forward, she began to cooperate with them and the vicious cycle stopped (for this group of people, at least). The selfless extension of generosity by the Braus family has touched Gabi’s heart as her hatefulness turned into understanding. AOT has shown that the cycle CAN be broken and that there was a possibility that Eren didn’t have to take those extreme measures to save the Eldians.

Sonju teaching the Gracefield kids the necessary skills they need for survival

In the Promised Neverland, the cycle of hatred for most of the Gracefield kids was broken early on due to the enthusiasm and empathy that Emma immediately extended to Sonju and Mujika. It was also relatively easier for them to break this hatred because it was the demons who rescued them out of their own volition. However, this cycle of hatred had continued to be perpetuated by the Lambda experiment kids for quite some time.

"Mass-produced" humans who never get to see the light of day

Those part of Lambda were subject to human experimentation and torture by the demons. However, it is interesting to note that while the demons are the ones acting out these abuses, they are really primarily working under the order of Peter Ratri, who is a human himself. Still, this caused Norman and the Lambda children to develop a deep-hatred for demons for treating them as mere cattle, and mercilessly torturing them to understand how to produce the best meat. Experiments of Lambda have experienced adverse side-effects which include uncontrollable headaches, coughing blood, development of disabilities, or bearing some strange human power. Apart from that, Norman saw how the “mass-produced” children were attached to tubes, had no names, and never even experienced consciousness. These cruelties caused him to hate the demons even more. While Emma was optimistic about using Mujika’s blood to stop demon regeneration (therefore ending the need to farm humans), Norman stays a realist and tells Emma that there is still no surefire way that demons will stop hunting humans until they are all exterminated. Norman reiterates demons have the utmost advantage physically as they are huge creatures that are agile and would beat humans in a race thousands of times over. Apart from that, they could also be outclassed intellectually because demons can keep eating and eating humans to boost their intelligence. As crossing to the human world was also deemed an impossible dream (at that time), Norman believed that the only way to end the cycle of hatred is to exterminate all the demons.

Eren distancing himself from his friends, Norman stylistically drawn as a child when he realizes that he was wrong to carry out the genocide attacks

Like Eren, Norman knew that this was not the right choice. This is why he also distanced himself from his friends and took up this heavy burden alone. However, he could not bear the thought of any human suffering again, and continued on with his attacks to regenerate the demon villages. In the midst of this chaos, Emma finds him and makes him realize that the demons are also capable of joy and sadness, have their own groups of children and elders, and like them were just thrown into a cruel world where the cycle of hate already exists. Emma also goes on and reassures Norman that they would be there every step of the way to help out with the reversal of the regeneration. Once again, it is Emma’s unconditional optimism and selflessness that gets to Norman and he agrees to stop the attacks in favor of finding an alternative. It can again be seen here how the cycle of hatred is broken with the one act of kindness enacted by Mujika and Sonju onto Emma, with Emma spreading this love to Norman. This is something they eventually pass down to all the humans and demons in the farms as well. This one act actually trickled down and became one of the reasons why they were able to overthrow the Ratri clan and forge a new promise that allowed both sides to live in peace.

[makiema]

Snk 123 and “Family”

Imo Yams deliberately emphasized on “family” during the EM talk and not made it a direct confession like with Falbi, to make the message sort of more universal for Eren. Like, family to him is all the people featured in 123, people he grew up with in Paradis. The final affirmation he needed before dirtying his hands rightly comes from the closest family member— Mikasa but I think what Eren realised is that, not only Mikasa, but all of them always genuinely loved him and cared for him.

All the superficiality like the Ackerbond and Titan Powers don't matter— Mikasa associates herself with him because she genuinely cares about him as family, and in a broader context, the same goes for all the others. This also explains Eren's eyes lighting up for a brief moment here in Chapter 105 right after Levi expresses his hurt and his utter disbelief regarding Eren's actions.

It is because Eren realizes how much they all love him simply for who he is and doesn't see him only as a victory machine and/or a savior. And this is exactly why he can't afford to sacrifice them, like he said before ; they're just too important and more than anybody else, because they know love. Love without the bounds of expectations and conditions.

And he loves them too, just as much as they love him; he even explicitly states that he wants them to live long, happy lives. In Chapter 123, that is exactly the vision that Eren gets when they engage in their drunken shenanigans. He observes them, he smiles assured because that is the image he knows he'll be fighting to protect from there on out— the image of happy families in Paradis with no fear of an impending danger that threatens to wipe them off the face of Earth forever. He feels too strongly for all of them and this deep, almost familial bond that he has formed with everyone in Chapter 123 over the years is what directly influences his last monologue.

Hence, the stress on “where I was born and raised.” The words carry strong familial connotations. Eren's choice was difficult. More so, because Falco and Reiner are people like him, those who wanted nothing more than creating a safer future for their families. This is why Eren is truly empathetic towards them. He understands.

But, when we're almost instantly yanked back into the grim reality that there can't be any appeal for appeasement with Marley, right after Mikasa says “you're family” and all the squad have a merry time, we're reminded that it's really one or the other.

It's up to Eren to choose: to give up on his own family (by pitying the rest of the world) or to protect them against the world. And he chooses what he'd regret the least, he chooses to protect his own.

On a side note, the fez haired kid reminded Eren that the world hasn't changed in 2000 years- he was affronted by the oppressive society just like Ymir had been in Chapter 122 and if Levi hadn't interceded for him, he'd be abused like Ymir too. I think this confirmed for Eren how oppressive governments that hold too much power will always continue to victimise and abuse innocent, naive children. It's a cycle of oppression that won't end, no matter the era in such a corrupted world. The world did not present him a middle ground. He found no hope there. Only war lust and racism. All of it culminated in him deciding to go ahead with the Rumbling because even after staying in enemy territory for so long, even after experiencing the world, he discovered nothing positive- it's just hate, inhumanity and oppression. He found nothing that suggested an improvement from Ymir's times. So, it can be said, that in the end he chose the hell of doing away with the entire outside world because that's the only way he can save his own little world- his family that raised him and loved him; he would take all the blood in his hand if it meant his people would have a future where they are free from oppression. What drives Marley to commit ethnic cleansing is pure abhorrence of the Eldian race. But, what drives Eren is his infinite love and tenderness for Mikasa, for his friends and for all his people- his extended Eldian family. He has been saying it from the very beginning: nobody has the right to take our birthright and our freedom away from us. And that's exactly the essential line of thought he's still following.

From a moral pov, it isn't right. Eren knows that. But like I've said before too, morality and freedom are two very different ideas and more than often, one doesn't comply with the other. Eren sees his reality as free or unfree and his actions are inspired from love for his people and are intended for achieving freedom. They have nothing to do with ideals. He knows there's no right or wrong if we take in consideration the narratives of both the sides. He knows Marleyans have enough reasons to justify their antipathy for Eldians just like, Eldians are not wrong in enforcing their right to life and freedom. That's why he doesn't sugarcoat anything and directly tells Reiner he might just destroy the world before waging war against Liberio. He knows exactly what he is doing. He's still chasing freedom, chasing a better and secure future for his people. He won't let his family die for naught. He isn't prepared to sacrifice them. And sacrifice them for what? Peace? Justice? There is no peace or justice in the outside world. Even if there are no Eldians, there'll be other refugees who'll have to take Marley's shit. (This point is proved by the fez haired kid) So is sacrificing his family for such a cruel outside world really worth the price? What does it matter if they're majority? Majority can be in the wrong too and their number certainly doesn't justify all their ill doings.

In conclusion, it would be genocide either way, the numbers don't matter. Either a small race of people take the brunt of the world or Eren does away with the world. None of the two course of action is ideal but at least, we can say after Chapter 123 that Eren is acting out of love for his family, but Marleyans are acting out of plain spite.

[ghostmartyr]

SnK 127 Thoughts

“Let us speak for 46 pages about how we still don’t actually have any real plan, we’re just all very against genocide (except Magath and Yelena) and very upset and feel like we should be doing something.”

The characters are sort of doing my job for me this month.

Maybe this whole post should just be illicit screencaps from Crunchyroll with me providing links and saying, ‘and here’s the panel that makes the point I whined about in this post here.’

That would probably provide more entertainment than whatever I’m about to come up with.

-sees the amount of swearing in the first section-

Hm.

First off, fuck Magath.

Like no, I’m sorry. This is not about what happened 2000 years ago. You know what it’s about? It’s about Marley sending in child soldiers to assault and rob a land that had caused literally no problems for 100 years. It’s about Marley doing this despite being aware of its own history, being that their personal hero collaborated with the First King of Paradis to make Marley’s independence possible.

You want to talk about history, Magath?

Jean isn’t the one who sounds like a child.

Jean is reacting to actual pain that he has experienced in his lifetime thanks to Magath’s very intentional military strategies.

Magath is blaming Jean and everyone else on the island for being born.

That is not equivalent.

That is not remotely equivalent, and while Eren is being a fucking bastard about it, Jean’s right. Eren has the power, means, and will to do all of this because of what Magath and Marley did to Paradis.

Magath doesn’t recognize Eldians as people.

The Eldian Empire was bad.

No one except Floch is disputing that. That is how you know that it is bad.

Marley, as well as the rest of the world, has been free from the Eldian Empire for over a hundred years, and in that time, all they have done is take every horrible thing about the Eldian Empire and exploit it for their own gains.

Magath doesn’t get to be angry that he lives off the backs of abused, brainwashed children that he treats like crap.

Years ago, the Eldian Empire was the worst terror in the world.

A year ago, it was Marley.

Now, it happens to be Eren.

And you know, I’ve been actively against pretty much everything Eren’s done. His plan, if he has one, has mostly managed to make everyone angry and get a lot of people killed who weren’t even involved in the beginning. He gets his head blown off close enough to his brother that he doesn’t die. That’s how the beginning stages of him committing genocide goes. He betrays his friends, makes his besties from childhood feel like crap, and honestly has just been a dick to pretty much everyone.

But at least Eren’s indiscriminate murder has the decency to actually be indiscriminate.

Marley takes children it despises and turns them into their willing slaves for the promise of a better life they have no intent of dispensing. They take these children, and full of hatred for the very ability, demand that they shorten their lifespan and murder people to prove that they’re a “good Eldian” who deserves to live.

Marley is why people can stomach rooting for Eren.

Because Marley is such an abomination that it almost feels worth it to destroy the world if it means Marley’s gone too.

Hell, I’m with Hange. There’s not an avenue where I accept genocide as a way to deal with any of this.

But if someone wanted to burn Magath alive, and we spent a dozen pages gloriously detailing his flesh curling off his bones, it would make me happy.

That’s a more dignified death than he’s given any of the children he’s forced into Marley’s wars.

He does not have the fucking moral high ground.

He's the one Jean should have punched. There is not a single person around that campfire that he has not damaged deeply, and noticing that Gabi is a little girl and he cares when she is in pain does not magically remove that.

Fuck Marley. Fuck Magath.

Grow the fuck up and stop viewing genocide as an acceptable response, you fucking halfwit child. You are the individual who saw four children off on their solitary mission to murder thousands of people. Two of them are dead. Two of them are deeply traumatized, with one of them wishing he had died.

But oh yes, Magath. You’re the victim, here.

Because you baited one angry idiot with the power of a god into destroying part of a city you didn’t give a damn about.

Truly, your justice is a thing to aspire to.

Perhaps Eren taking notes is the real reason we’re here.

Motherfucking fuck I hate Marley. I hate that Eren’s put any of these characters in the position where they have to put up with this shit for the sake of civility. I don’t have a problem with the Warriors. I don’t have a problem with the Survey Corps. I don’t have a problem with the kidlets. Hi Onyankopon, sorry about your life. Yelena has many problems, but she’s also attractive, so I don’t mind as much.

Magath, though.

Pieck, just eat him. Everyone’s too depressed to really throw down over it at this point, and the two small ones are so deeply traumatized that one more body really isn’t going to make much of a dent.

Jean’s clearly the star of this chapter, and a good deal of that comes from the potent hopelessness hovering over him like a rain cloud.

He can point to how bad everyone is at talking things out like it’s the key to the entire mystery, but the long list of problems Jean offers at the beginning of the chapter are still present. Unless they have a way to talk to every person in the world out of their (at this point, rather justified) fear and anger, Paradis and Eldians around the world are very much screwed.

Paradis has forever been running out of time against the hatred the rest of the world has for them.

They do have to fight against what Eren’s doing, and talking instead of blowing each other’s heads off is a good start, but it’s a good start thousands of years after the worst possible one.

And the last time they tried to talk to Eren, Armin punched him, and that was the most productive thing to come out of it.

Jean being the everyman who recognizes the heart of an average person because he is one has been a great tool. It’s still great, here. He wants to close his ears to all of this. He wants, desperately, to run away, because there is no good solution that doesn’t end in death.

When he joins the Survey Corps, they at least have Eren as a brand of hope. They can believe that years of the same tactics and bodies piling up won’t end the same way.

Joining this squad is all about stopping Eren, and despite having figured out their next course of action, no one has yet to provide a real idea.

Genocide is wrong, so you stand up and try to stop it.

That’s the only plan they have.

The Scouts from Paradis don’t even have the promise of saving the people they love if they stop Eren. Annie, Pieck, Gabi, Reiner, Falco... they have a home. The world might forget to hate them. They might get to go home and have a life after this.

The people sitting on the other side of the fire are fucking screwed. They’re fighting entirely for their principles.

...Also Yelena is here.

I do like Yelena.

She’s not the worst, because this manga has too many horrible people in it, but she’s delightfully terrible. I especially like how the fact that she’s actually from Marley hardly gives her any pause.

I do so like Yelena.

It’s a beautiful sentiment.

After all, everyone’s drunk on something.

If you can just save the world, what does the rest matter? What do the crimes that kept you awake at night mean, when you’ve accomplished something so miraculous? All the good deeds cleanse the rottenness, and maybe then the world rights itself and you can breathe again.

...Hey wait, where’s Reiner’s reaction shot to finding out Gabi killed Sasha?

...Did he even know Sasha was dead?

But I guess we’re doing Marco angst.

Wow. Marco angst in 2020.

I think my favorite thing about this chapter (outside of the fact that Mikasa still hates Annie and it makes me giggly because wow Mikasa) is that Annie does absolutely nothing while Jean’s beating the crap out of Reiner.

My less favorite thing is I’ve stopped enjoying Reiner getting the crap beaten out of him. It’s been done, and... really the kid just needs to have not been born into this particular life. Watching Jean beat him bloody is. not cathartic. It’s really just awful.

Annie dodging with her food is glorious, though.

Because while Jean beating up Reiner over Marco is sad and kind of miserable, Annie watching someone beat up Reiner after the years she spent putting up with Reiner and Bertolt brings it back to almost funny.

Until you look at Reiner’s face and go back to feeling bad.

-turns page back to Annie getting out of the way-

Much better.

Truly, I love Annie.

Her forgiveness status is interesting, though. I think besides Marco, she enjoyed more of the kills she’s responsible for than anyone feels a need to dig up.

She’s also been more alone than most of the others in the wagons, and essentially spent four years imprisoned for her crimes.

I’m not surprised she asked, because she’s Annie, but I’m a bit surprised we don’t have an answer yet. Probably too close to the end of the chapter to open up that can of worms.

If it makes everyone feel better, I think we know for a fact that Mikasa will never forgive Annie for anything, even if it only displays itself as petty brandishing of weapons every time they make eye contact.

It’s not even a ship thing.

I just love that Annie is the one person Mikasa can’t stand. They’ve been in one chapter together and Mikasa’s already pulling out swords. These two shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near each other. It’s perfection.

Then we get to plot complications that really don’t register as complications because like. Yeah, you guys need something to do while you figure out what the hell you’re doing.

Because you don’t actually have a real plan, just so we’re clear.

Killing Eren would result in all those Wall Titans operating under their own power.

That is not fundamentally less destructive.

Killing Eren has a nice ring to it, but much like talking to Eren, it does not solve any of the other problems looming ahead.

So you enjoy your little subplot with Floch!

It’s one of the last times your combined competence will have any meaning.

-looks over at Kiyomi-

Honest question, but why are you alive if Floch dislikes you enough to hold you hostage? If Eren’s gonna kill everyone, shouldn’t Floch be following suit and just do his Floch thing of murdering every slight inconvenience?

We’re in the boring stages of the finale right now.

No clear plan for either side to contend with. No real progress in any direction because the tiny squabbles are just a delaying tactic for the massive squabble that no one has an answer to. None of any of this chapter really matters except for clearing the air.

Which is not a useless investment, it’s just not very exciting.

At this point, no excitement is allowed, because there’s that One Huge Thing, and the entire story hinges on it. Maybe someone will die on the way to dealing with it, but that’s all the drama we’re going to get until we find out enough about the plot to have a future worth rooting for.

Right now, there is no good outcome for the people we’ve watched fight for 127 chapters.

Pulling a story along with that weight is hard, and I can feel my brain turning itself off until we’re back to a point where the story is permitted to address the stegosaurus in the room.

One more month.

Again.

Until something happens and we all regret everything.

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Curious, why do you ship kiribaku? Like that ship just feels out of place compared to the dynamic in your other ships, I would've thought that bakudeku had more of the same dynamic?

As to why I don’t ship bakudeku I’ve written 2 essays about it here and here.

I.. I just don’t know what you mean by the same dynamic, seriously. Like a rival thing? Because Sousuke and Rin are also rivals and I don’t ship them. I wish ppl would look past pushing each other into the ground thing because it not a “dynamic”. Because I’ve seen ppl making post like “I guess I have a type” and there is Bakugou holding Midoriya by the throat and Nezumi holding Shion by the throat… I’m like… those ships have nothing at common at fucking all.

Like every ship has completely different pasts which put them in different perspectives. There’re different rules for different ships depending on characters and their environment. I mean, some ships are so sick that rules don’t apply to them, because they’re both sadomasochistic and if they love it like that, it’s their choice tbh, I’m not here to judge.

It’s not like bakudeku didn’t know each other, were sent to kill each other and then were forced to work together like akuatsu, so this violence doesn’t make sense here (and pls don’t say he hits means he loves). Things like “you should jump out of the window” would be like okay and funny to say in ships like soukoku. But when you’re like this with a person who is so good to you that’s just sad in my opinion. 

But actually my ships kinda do have same dynamics. It’s about finding that one special person who is “an exception” for them and they change and grow bc he makes them want to do this, a person who makes them feel like no one else can, make them do things they thought were stupid before and makes them a better version of themselves.

Like Midorima never trusted anyone the way he trusts Takao, and Takao is the only one who will get a 500$ fucking toy from him. And only for him Midorima would’ve risked being laughed at by borrowing a book for his bae. Midorima would never do it for anyone else, it’s just not the way he is.

Haru would never be where he is now if it wasn’t for Rin. Haru is not the kind of person who would go to another continent on a last minute notice, there would be no road to any world and no ume xD, Haru didn’t even have any dream until that little shit came. Rin pushes him out of his shell and makes him do crazy things that he very much enjoys.

Nezumi taught Shion how to feel, Yato as we know lately admitted that Yukine is so precious to him, he’s the only one he can’t live without in his 2000 years, like I can continue, but you do get the idea. For Kirishima rules do not apply. And Midoriya is not Bakugou’s special person. Not to mention that their dynamic hasn’t even changed after 4 seasons, while Kirishima could right now dress Bakugou in a pink apron and bake pancakes with him. Which is another thing that’s very important to me (not baking puncakes together lol, character progression).

Like even if I close my eyes on all of the beating up and insults which I can’t but IF I could… it’s still stupid. Like imagine if Rinharu grew up but their relationships still were on this stage:

Or remember Mika (who same as Midoriya were a fucking angel when they were children) tries to make friends with super grumpy Yuu who just doesn’t want any of this shit and annoyed by him:

but now imagine that Yuu has stayed this way and instead of opening up to Mika, would be hitting him and saying he’s a disgrace to a society for all of their lives? Like that would be dumb, seriously. 

Both on the left have a low self-esteem and think that their other half is much more amazing than them, but are still capable of giving them all the love. They changed, bc that’s what you do when you want somebody to stay with you, you can’t diss on someone constantly and expect them to stay with you. 

Which brings us to that twist: if Bakugou tries so hard for Kirishima, it means that he needs him and cares about him much more than he cares about his pride. He learns how to say “thank you” because Kirishima is so happy after hearing that; he accepts Kirishima touching him, because he actually wants that; he wears a costume with roses and actually ask him to be his plus one, because he knows that he will be happier if Kirishima is with him; he learns to say complementary speeches, because he can’t handle hearing a person he loves dissing himself, etc…

And seriously, we all love the cheerful one/grumpy one dynamic. But it must me written right. Maybe I’d consider it even with the lack of development if Midoriya wouldn’t lose all his dignity with Bakugou, but I just seriously don’t like this, I hate this. And it’s not even funny like in a ships who always insult each other you know in a hilarious way. It’s literally just one side abusing the other who’s like “t-t-thanks”. Mmmm… no thanks.

And you know I’m not that part of tumblr who calls every fucking ship abusive, like to the point when somebody just grabbed someone’s hand too tight. The part who thinks that the relationships should be like “look he can’t even get mad at him, he loves him so” and I’m like… yeah, they can only softly argue while drinking tea and have sex in missionary position. 

And I’m like really tired of people throwing the word “abusive” everywhere for no reason. Like Nezumi threatens Shion with a knife… omg should we call the police. Haru probably broke his spine when Rin pushed him into the fence, that’s such an abuse. Levi wanted to make a bloody cutlet from Eren in the court to enjoy eating it for lunch. It’s getting crazy sometimes in my asks. And usually when people don’t know how to prove their ship, they go “it’s abusive” so this word lost it’s meaning to me when it comes to shipping tbh.

But… I just gotta say that Midoriya and Bakugou dynamic really makes me sad all the time. For the same reason as Dazai and Akutagawa’s (I just don’t find it funny… the hanging up on him scene made me wanna puke and the part when Dazai “complimented” Akutagawa is also not funny to me). It’s just wrong on so many levels. I don’t want to see no Midoriya, no Akutagawa like this. This “admiration” is so not worthy all that humiliation. It’s cringey to watch. But even more in BNHA bc while I dislike Dazai, Bakugou is my second favorite in the anime and watching him behaving himself like this hurts me too.

And like bakudeku don’t even have one moment that would melt my heart. Like tell me a good reason to ship them. I can’t find it.

As to why I ship Kiribaku, it’s a too long long LOOONG of a story. I mean, have you seen them? Have you seen how amazing they are because of each other? Did you ever think that the fact that Bakugou attends social event, being as polite as he can, “makes new friends”, contains himself when Kirishima tells him to calm down, trying to tolerate people more, etc. that we owe it all to Eijirou? So basically every moment when you’re like “look Bakugou didn’t hit Midoriya in the face yay bakudeku”, you can thank Kirishima for it.

Also I just recently realized that Kirishima was the only person Bakugou has called by his name, when he was scared for him. And my heart was crying for like two hours.

P.S. This post I made clearly shows how kiribaku fits all my other ships.

[verratensduo]

Why attack on titan will have no hero

After some discussion with @marley-warriors-of-demon-blood, I have decided to finally make my meta on this past chapter’s use of the “heroic” Helos. Let me first say I admire the optimism of those who honestly think that it means we will get a true hero. You have far more optimism than I do.  I go towards a darker take on the line about Helos, simply because of the facts of this world of Attack on Titan. Let it be known unlike most meta writers I don’t claim any impartiality, I am incredibly biased and giving my personal interpretation of the story, I am not her to be popular, just analyze from my perspective. Understand I use the literary terms in sense of hero, villain, anti-hero, and anti-villain as opposed to fandom definition. I won’t lie to you on my take with this, or change it to be more popular, or tell you want you want to hear. I also refuse to change my views to be popular. I will explain this in four parts, one talking on what we learned from willy, one speaking on implications for this world, one speaking of the heroes, and one speaking of the one who could have taken the title of “big bad”, aka THE villain of the story.

Let’s start with this Helos character. A figure in Marlyean history. He slayed “the devil” of humanity. He represented the victors of the eldian civil war, Marley. He is a hero that saved the entire human race from the evil genocidal Eldian empire. At least, that is what they tell us at first. Make it seem that Marley history is right and therefore they are somehow justified in their horrific crimes against humanity when it pertains to Eldians.

However, this isn’t true. Willy Tybur’s discussion with McGath proves that. He tells McGath that Helos is fake, an empty symbol, as empty as the existence of the Marley super state. There was no hero, at all. Helos doesn’t exist. He is an empty idea of Marlean supremacy over Eldians on the mainland. Though it gets even more pathetic than that.

During his speech on that stage, Willy revealed Helos was simply a figure created by King Karl Fritz and Tybur family to further make the Eldian civil war a loss for both sides. It was a cruel game of pure evil on their part, giving Marley a false idol as well as a protagonist to a story where there was no hero, and no villain. Unless you like me, see Karl Fritz as a villain, but that is a personal opinion.

This suggests that the ideal of a hero is simply that, an ideal. In the world our characters find themselves, you don’t get a choice. You don’t get to be the hero or the villain, you are either a pawn, or someone with power who abuses you for their own sick amusement. This alone leads me to believe that there is no hero of this story.

A story where the group that would serve as our primary villain, the Marley government has zero participation aside from ordering attacks against Paradise, it only makes sense we wouldn’t get a traditional hero. There is no way to overcome this in a heroic way. The heroic actions simply aren’t possible. Choices are limited as it is, there is no hope for the characters to get the chance to be a hero. They are either die before they get their chance, or they live long enough to commit horrific acts for the cause they deem to be noble.

However, this doesn’t mean they have to be villains. In fact aside from Marley’s government, the original Paradise government, and the terrorist organization known as the Restorationists I really don’t see any classic villains, and none of these groups have direct things they do within the main story, only things that happen off screen or in flashbacks. Once again, the villains I listed are my personal bias, not any canon confirmation.

Now in this story we had two primary candidates to be the big hero who saves the day. Those being Eren Yeager and Reiner Braun. However, we all know they have done far too many horrible things to ever be truly considered heroes. Instead, Isyama decided to do something interesting, in a cast of anti-heroes, he has focused on these two anti-heroes in particular. With good reason, they have massive followings and are arguably the ones that generate the most controversy. Not only that, they serve as the perfect archnemisis for one another.

Let’s start with Reiner. Starting off as a seeming mentor figure for Eren, you already are inclined to like him. The boom, he is the armored titan and his main goal is to for reasons unknown kidnap Eren and return to his home town. He has murdered hundreds of thousands of innocent lives in that name, even personally leading the murder of Marco after stupidly talking about his plans in broad daylight.

Oh but wait, back in Marley he is the oppressed class in a Nazi nation. He is kind and caring to kids, and feels genuine remorse for what he did to Paradisians. However, he has decided that in the name of peace and his family, that his only option is to keep serving this government and work with his seemingly genocidal war chief on his plans for totally annihilation of Paradise. Oh Reiner, if only you knew that Zeke was even worse than Marley.

Now let’s talk about Eren. He starts off as our heroic protagonist, always fighting for the little guy. Suffering at the hands of his friends who betray him, and his own government who wants him tortured and dead. Fighting against all odds for even the hope of freedom for his people. Oh, and to make things worse, suddenly there is this aggressive nation across the sea and a world that wants to commit a genocide on their island. Oh, and then your government decides you’re a weapon, you’re friend is a breeding animal, and that they want to be colonized that is nice.

Then boom, heel turn so to speak. He attacks Librerio killing hundreds of innocents and forcing the SC, who has been content to let the government do their stupid things to get involved. He is jailed, and then rebels against the military dictatorship and against his friends and tears into his two best friends and throws them in prison. He is “the bad guy now”.

Now Reiner wants to be a hero and Eren wants freedom for himself and his people. Both arguably noble goals, but do they ever do fucked up shit to achieve them. Now given the situation I understand entirely, at least those two aren’t forcing this conflict on their kids, unlike a certain terrorist group and two particular characters who shall not be named but we all know who they are. Interesting enough to say the least.

Now onto the man who had potential to be either an anti-hero or the main villain. That is right, Zeke Yeager is here at last. He could have made an interesting anti-hero, trying to kidnap his little brother from the evil Paradise and bring him to be a good little eldian in Marley. Or he could have been a Joker esque villain to the Marley cast and have snapped in Marley and forced the warriors to bring down their beloved pure evil war chief. Now Isyama had plans for neither much to his credit.

Zeke’s goal is pretty simple, euthanize his people and let Paradise activate the rumbling to wipe them out.. Oh yay good for him. His goal is something he deems noble, but boy would anyone with half of a brain see it as fucked up.

Now from his perspective as a traumatized child mixed with his psychopathic love of killing people and enjoying doing it, even seeing it as “freeing them”, it makes perfect sense and makes him a benevolent hero. In reality, it couldn’t be more fucked up.

This is what puts him in a different class than most of the cast. He meets a text book definition for anti-villain. Without him to be able to serve as a true “big bad”, there is no need for a Helos like character to even appear. It is far to late at this point. No one matches that bill.

Now in all fairness, I think if we got a Helos like character at this point it would be a disservice to the story. It would ruin the morality challenging themes, and it would ruin his goal for a more non-traditional approach to telling his story.

The need for the cast to remain the same as it is now couldn’t be more clear. There will be no traditional hero in Attack on Titan, because the world it is in, is a world in which there can be no heroes, the situation prevents it.

Now remember, this is my biased opinion and take oin the story. I am not claiming any of this to be canon.

[arcanelucario]

Hi, I’m Troy McClure ArcaneLucario and you may remember me from such fanfics as Linked Through And Throughout or Always or for some reason from A Second Chance. Or perhaps you know me from my Twitter or Instagram or I dunno...maybe even one of my YouTube accounts or Imgur or god knows where. Or maybe you don’t know me and just happened to stumble across this post in a drunken rampage across Tumblr when looking for art for one of your ships that actually makes sense as opposed to the absolutely terrible ones such as KacChako or KiriBaku or AruAni or whatever else which you see people for some rarted reason ship and try to cram down your throats. (oh boy I can smell the hate already...y’know...despite the anosmia)

Or maybe you remember me from this post from March of this year (2019 for you cucks from the future...or past) in which I claimed I was gonna write a text post detailing everything that’s gonna happen in His Warmth...and then didn’t.

Well,

And so, below the oncoming read more link thingy I will attempt to recall everything I have planned for this fic so far. And I guess this post not only works for you, but also works for me because I’ll have everything written down so I can check back here for reference. Anyway, spoilers ahead so this is your last chance to turn back should you wish to remain unspoiled for the day I finally get back to writing His Warmth. Oh and I’m not just doing this cuz I feel bad that some people said they wanted to see this and then I never got round to writing it.

Okay I lied, this is your last chance. Anyway, lets get to it. Welcome to the world of His Warmth.

So far in the fic there’s only 2 chapters: The first introducing us to the characters and the school they are attending, and the second starting off with a flashback and then back to current time, but you guys knew that already. Just for the record, at the start of chapter it says the flashback takes place 5 years prior, but I’m gonna change that to 8 years instead because the ages make more sense that way and also cuz I’m bad at maths and stuff. I’m also probably gonna change the ending of that chaper, cuz when I wrote it I kinda rushed the ending and regret ending it the way I did, but maybe I won’t. Who knows? Probably not, sounds like a lot of effort.

Now for shit you don’t know, whoooooo.

In the oncoming chapters, what I’m thinking is I’ll attempt to build a friendship between Annie and Mina as I intend on making them be best friends, (probably) re-instate the friendship between Annie, Reiner and Bertolt and then rekindle the friendship (and crush that Eren has) between Eren and Annie. I’ll try to do this in actually realistic way that is doable in a high school setting, and there’ll likely be a number of (small-ish) gestures from Eren towards Annie that reaffirms her of her feelings towards Eren, ones she hadn’t had since her younger years. These won’t be anything crazy, just stuff like perhaps a small gift or buying her something to eat when everyone’s hanging out in a group, or giving her a hand with something. I dunno...well actually that’s a lie, I sort of have an idea. At some point I’ll also have Annie start sparring with Eren again and teaching him her moves.

To be honest I don’t actually know how long all that is gonna go on for, but eventually we’re gonna come to the start of some conflict. One day Annie will come into school acting differently than before. She’ll be quieter, more tense than usual and have a sort of afraid energy about her, and she’ll be covering her face with her hood. She’ll approach Eren and order him to fight with her, which Eren will notice as unusual because usually she’ll ask to spar, not order to fight. Instead of talking with Eren, Annie will just lead him to their usual sparring spot, and they’ll begin their usual routine. Not long after though, Eren will notice that Annie’s attacks weren’t the same as they usually are, instead they’re switching between strong and precise hits with the intent to cause pain, and weak and sloppy ones that are nothing like her. At some point Annie’s hood will fall off, and Eren will realize the problem. Annie’s face will be revealed to be bruised and scarred, signs of abuse. That’s right, I’m making this one of those fics where Annie’s dad is the bad guy. At this revelation, Annie’s attacks will become more hectic and uncontrolled, meaning Eren can find an opening and stop her from fighting, which he will do. Eventually Eren will be able to capture Annie in a hold, and she’ll sort of calm down soon after. She’ll beg Eren not to ask what happened (though he’ll have a bit of an idea), and Eren will ask Annie what she’s gonna do next, and tell her if she wants to, she can crash at his (and Mikasa’s) house. For now, Annie will remain undecided but she’ll vaguely respond, and then follow Eren back to school...and then promptly disappear.

After all that, Annie will start skipping school, and to everyone’s knowledge she’s not been going home since that day, and on the days she does go to school she’ll avoid everyone. This’ll lead to Eren, Reiner, Bert and Mina following her after school, trying to figure out where she’s been staying. Turns out, she’s been hiding out on the streets because she had been afraid, and didn’t know what to do or where to turn, who to trust. Reiner, Bert and Mina will all try to offer her their help but Annie won’t make any decision. After they leave, Eren will once again offer a place at his house, and they’ll discuss hypotheticals which Eren will figure out aren’t actually hypotheticals. Annie will tell Eren she’ll think about it, but for now to let her be, which he’ll do.

The next day at the end of school, Annie will finally approach Eren again and ask if his offer is still open, and that she accepts it. So Eren will go with her to the place she’d been staying the past few days, get her things and then take her to his house. And this will be the start of a whole new chunk of the story. Having Eren and Annie live together will be a very interesting dynamic to write about, and I’m honestly excited for when I get to do this. At first, it’ll be awkward for the both of them but over time they’ll get used to it, and it’ll be sort of like a couple who had been living together for a long time.

Anyway, in this first day of Annie staying with Eren, there will be some awkward stuff between them, and the two of them won’t exactly get along but Annie will learn to get along with Eren and throw him a bone. After all, he is helping her in her time of need. Oh and something will happen that will lead to Eren and Annie sharing a bed. Also, along with this chapter there’ll be a flashback to a time in their childhood where Eren had stayed the night at the Leonhart household. 

Now in these chapters we’ll have lots of fun stuff, and there’ll come a moment where Annie realizes she does actually have a full on crush on Eren, but that now isn’t the time for her to act on her feelings and that things could become weird otherwise. There’ll also be a chapter that involves Historia, Ymir and jealousy. Not gonna say anything more on that part. Unless you want me to?

Next up we’ll come to a Christmas chapter, where Eren and Mikasa will go stay with Grisha for Christmas, and Eren will invite Annie to come along, who will reluctantly agree after a bit of convincing, initially not feeling that she should attend another family’s Christmas. This is gonna be a pretty sweet chapter in my opinion, and if I remember correctly I believe I have at one point ages ago talked about a little bit of it in the EreAnnie Discord. Anyway, in this chapter Eren is gonna give Annie a present, one that is gonna mean a massive amount to Annie, causing her to temporarily have a strong emotional reaction and have to take a step outside. Eren will follow her shortly after, and will notice something about her, and in this moment the two of them will realize that they don’t just have crushes on each other, but are actually in love...though neither will actually admit it (or actually maybe Annie will have realised this in a previous chapter, I can’t actually remember atm). But in an attempt to cheer Annie up, Eren will get in a snowball fight with her, and this will work, and will lead to a moment where Annie considers kissing Eren, but at the last second decides not to. After this, they’ll head inside and Annie will take part in the first of many annual Yeager Christmas photos where they wear silly sweaters.

The next chapter or two will likely be something fillery (or maybe not and I’ll just skip ahead to the next thing) and then we’ll come to a valentine’s day chapter, where for the whole time Annie is wondering if Eren has got her anything, and if so, what? At the end of the chapter Annie will force Eren to reveal what he’s done, and it’ll turn out that he hasn’t actually got her anything, knowing that Annie wouldn’t have actually wanted anything, and also that it would be weird since they aren’t dating. Because of this, and also to repay him for everything else he’s done, Annie will make a surprise move and will out of nowhere kiss Eren on the cheek, but close enough to the point where their lips will slightly touch. This’ll of course freak Eren out, but he’ll calm himself down quick enough. And no, this doesn’t mean they’re dating, that’s still a bit off. Also, along with this chapter will be another flashback, one that takes place before the previous flashback.

After this I believe it takes us to a pretty big time-skip, and we’ll come to summer vacation (I guess)? So there’ll be a plan for a beach trip with everyone, and so one chapter will focus on insecurities that Annie has about herself and her body (which will involve a brief flashback), and so Eren will have to help Annie regain her confidence...and he’ll sort of accidentally peep on her when she’s trying on her bikini or whatever. And then the next chapter is the actual beach episode chapter, which may or may not involve a reference to a Brian Hyland song. This chapter will also involve a small fight between Eren and Annie, and then a disaster will strike. Not gonna say what, but just know it’s gonna be pretty god damn big, like tears will be shed (in the fic, of course). This will lead to Eren and Annie leaving the beach early, and everyone else agreeing that Eren and Annie need to admit their feelings and get together, and fast.

The next chapter will be about the aftermath of the beach trip, and might possibly create some tension. There will also be a reference to a Barenaked Ladies song. Anyway, after a few days, Eren and Annie’s friends will have thought of a plan to get the two dorks to admit their feelings, so it’ll go along the lines of something like Mina talking to Annie about whatever, and then she’ll bring up stuff about Eren and talk about Annie’s crush on him, and nag her to the point that Annie accidentally has an outburst where she admits that she’s in love with Eren. And at the same time that this is happening, Mikasa and Armin will have just happened to have brought Eren to the same place where Mina brought Annie, and Eren will overhear Annie’s confession. He’ll want to go to her and talk about it, but Mikasa and Armin will convince him to leave it till later, when they’re alone. And so, that night before they go to bed, Eren will ask Annie to wait up, and he’ll hint at the fact he overheard her confession and will cause Annie to start shouting at him. At first it’ll seem like she’s angry at him, but Eren will quickly realize that it’s not anger, it’s her passion and feelings coming out, that this is just because she loves him, and that he loves her back. One thing will lead to another and Eren will confess to Annie and interrupt her with a kiss, and then they’ll end up doing adult stuff and having sex...or doing taxes...I’m not really sure what happens in there, never really paid much attention in sex-ed.

ANYWAY, after all that lovely jubbly stuff, the two lil fukin dorks will fall asleep in each other’s embrace, content at their newfound relationship status. The next day they’ll officially start their relationship together, and will enjoy the stage of their relationship which I believe is referred to as “the bubble”, at least according to Parks & Rec. From then on we’ll have a bunch of adorable moments between them, and they’ll be much happier.together, which everyone will notice.

We’ll then maybe get a bit of filler, or perhaps I’ll skip time again, and something will happen in our lovebirds relationship, and I mean something big. Annie’s dad would have secretly started trying to reach out to Annie again, but this isn’t something Annie has revealed to Eren, creating distance between them. Eren’s protective instincts will sort of take over him, and he’ll accidentally get mad at Annie, saying she should have told him. They’ll fight, and Annie will freak out and attack Eren (causing either bleeding or a black eye, probably a black eye) which she’ll feel guilty about, but before either can properly react, she’ll grab whatever of her things she can and run back home to her dad.

Now broken up, there will be a lot of distance and tension in Eren and Annie’s friendship, and Mikasa will start to get real protective of Eren and will kinda dislike Annie. Eren will be depressed as hell, and I’ll have a little segment where Levi (one of the teachers at the school) will question what’s going on, at which point Petra (his wife and the school counselor) will walk in and tell him. I’m actually considering having Petra be a counselor for a few students throughout the fic, but I’m undecided on that as of now.

Anyway, for a lil bit we’ll have all this go on, and we’ll have a chapter detailing Annie’s perspective after all this, which will involve her back at her dads, but things will take a dark turn again, and Mr Leonhart will once again hit Annie, at which point she’ll finally hit back and break his leg (or something like that), but then she’ll run away from home. At first she’ll run to stay with Reiner and Bert, but her dad knows where they live and will find her there so she’ll run again. I might have Annie stay on the streets for a couple more days, but all I know is she’ll think about her options, and that the only thing she can do is go back to Eren.

So, that will happen. Annie will run back to Eren’s house, and on the way will run into him. She’ll start to trip over her words, and will panic and try to run away, but Eren will catch her and bring her inside. I’m not saying he’ll instantly forgive her, but he will realize that she’s scared and alone and needs to have someone there for her, and that someone has to be him. We’ll have some sweet moments, reminiscent of earlier moments from the story, and I can’t think of the words to describe it but...it’ll be pleasant. Eren will tend to Annie’s needs, and will help her understand that he’ll always be there for her, even if they aren’t together. Eventually, Annie will get super drowsy, and so Eren will carry her to his room where he’ll put her to bed, but before he can leave, Annie will beg him to stay with her and sleep in the same bed again. At first Eren will turn it down, but then will now realize the true nature of his relationship with Annie, and the true nature behind everything that has happened. This isn’t everyone else’s regular relationship, it’s their’s, and it’s so much bigger than what he previously thought. So, Eren will do what she asked, and lay with her once more.

The next morning, Eren will wake to Annie staring at him, and will notice that she looks exhausted. It turns out that she spent most of the night looking at and holding onto Eren, making sure he wouldn’t leave her side. Eren will try to reason with her, letting Annie know he’d never leave her side, and then he’ll excuse himself, making a decision that will be for the best for both of them. This decision has him making a call to his dad, asking if he and Annie can come stay with him for a few days, and stating that it’s finally time for him and Annie to reveal what’s going on, why Annie has been living with Eren. Grisha will accept, and then Eren will return to bed with Annie, telling her about the plan, and telling her to go back to sleep before they leave. Later that day they’ll start their journey, and Eren will talk to Annie about their relationship and where they stand, and will talk about problems that everyone has in their relationships, whether it be romantic relationships or that of father and son, which kind of cheers Annie up and helps her see what she couldn’t before.

They’ll arrive at Grisha’s, and they’ll reveal the whole truth, leading to Grisha helping Annie with her situation and Mr Leonhart being put away for his crimes. I’ll then have something surprising happen between Eren and Annie (not gonna say what), and eventually Mikasa and Jean will come to Grisha’s as well, helping out however they can. And that will be the final proper chapter of the story, before the epilogue, that is.

AND THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is His Warmth. Or rather, like 90% of it. I’ve actually still left some stuff out, and may still come up with more things for it. But yeah, that is more or less my vision for this story, my masterpiece. Not sure when I’ll actually get back to writing it, but maybe this will be motivation to do so. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading my crazy rambling, and I hope you’ll enjoy the finished product, cuz I know I sure as hell will. Please feel free to let me know what you think.

[aotopmha]

Attack On Titan Chapter 116 Thoughts

Attack On Titan at this point for me: GET ON WITH IT. DROP THE SHOE. MOVE ON. GET GOING. CHOP CHOP SOLDIER.

Tell me what Eren's motives are and what's actually up with him. Tell me what Historia's motives are and what's actually up with her.

Just DO SOMETHING ALREADY.

There is setup to get where we need to go, but I feel like it's really strongly testing my patience now and as I've said before, we have explored the various thematic ideas quite a bit now.

This isn't like the Uprising arc where this was all cool and new.

We've known something is up with Eren and Historia and their situation for a while now. Just reveal what's up already.

This is pretty much the most basic extent of my thoughts this month.

We've already been indirectly and directly told Eren's reasons might be more complicated than they seem several times by the story. (This chapter might be hinting to the possibility that he's just pushing everyone away to sacrifice himself to save them or the like once again - again, more endless seesawing about what's actually going on.)

The framing around Historia seems to indicate something might be/is probably up straight-up since the reveal itself. It was never 100% confidently framed as the truth.

The negative part to this dragging is that if the reveals are exactly what we've been told they are, they are going to be massively anti-climactic.

The most important parts of this chapter only serve to repeat these questions about their situation and what's actually going on with them.

The new stuff we got with the characters is good, but also a thematic repeat.

I love Pieck more than ever: she's smart and cares for the Eldians and now we know she seems to also be pretty aware of Marley's shitty system and dislike it instead of entirely going along with it and being unaware of it unlike many of the other Marleyan Eldians (like Gabi and Zeke who never got a chance to develop a broader perspective beyond their own - and to be more specific, Pieck is simply influenced differently by her experiences to have somewhat stronger awareness of the shitty system).

She's clinging to the good things she still has under the horrible system of Marley: her friends and the trust in them. She wants to stick with those she loves despite knowing how shitty Marley is and she genuinely seems to want good for the Eldians. (Gabi's arc also continues to be built up here, by Pieck telling her they're all Eldians all the same.)

The question with Pieck then is if she is selectively self-aware or the like because sticking with Marley, even if she says Marley is shitty, isn't actually going to save anyone.

There is also the simple consideration here that Pieck is simply taking the best out of the situation she has.

What Eren and Zeke have planned is pretty shitty, too, so it's a situation where both sides have shitty things going on that endanger the Eldians - Pieck is simply going with those she trusts.

It seems Petra's idea of trust still lives on in some ways and it's used as a direct opposition to Eren this time around, which ties back to this arc's theme of trust, as well.

Eren is acting the exact opposite way to how Petra's team worked together. Right now he seems to have chosen the second choice out of those Levi gave him in the forest: to trust his own strength, rather than that of his friends.

What it misses is that trusting your strength doesn't have to involve treating everyone that cares about you like shit and abusing their trust.

So we have the two choices Levi gave back in the forest clashing here through Pieck and Eren, both with their possible flaws.

The real answer is probably to be flexible and go with what seems right depending on the situation. It could be a combination of both, it could be one or the other, it could be any other variation of the choices because in the end nobody knows how things might work out.

Eren is also acting extremely arrogantly and I think it's potentially because of the amount of power he has now - he knows he is powerful and important. You could say he knows he's special.

The fact that he's been put into positions of weakness several times throughout the story and again, also has seen his father’s memories could possibly contribute to this.

This is all going against the point particularly Annie (and to a lesser extent Reiner) were making back in the training flashback and other points of the story to not rush into things, that with great power comes great responsibility and that he should use his strength in controlled and smart ways.

He gets parts of this right as we see in the battle at Marley, but his recklessness remains in other ways, as we also see in Marley. (He was extremely competent and controlled in the battle itself, but the base idea of taking action was really unthinking and reckless.)

Jean also wonderfully points out how screwed up the euthanasia plan is.

Independent of what Jean brings up, as I’ve said before, the fact is that this whole plan is a few people deciding the fate of their race and what's good for them and taking away the freedom of hundreds of thousands of people, but Jean more specifically points out that it also leaves everyone helpless in the long run, unable to defend themselves because everyone eventually ages and dies.

So, this just dooms everyone to misery until they all just die or are killed by the rest of the world. It's genocide with a different coat of paint.

Along with going against several of Eren's prior lessons he's gone through, this plan is extremely self-righteous and also goes against the core idea Eren held prior to the Marley arc that everyone is born free.

He has pretty strongly become the anti-thesis to everything he believed in prior to the Marley arc and thus become his own and the Eldians' biggest enemy:

He really has become what he percieved the very Titan he saw kill his mother to be back as a child: he's someone who takes away people's lives and their freedom just for selfish destructive purposes, just as he thought the Titans did back when he was a kid:

*He* is free, not everyone else. Such is the effect of his current position of power:

(Chapter 112)

I can finally also point out how Erwin and Eren are different and Eren is currently worse: Erwin is an adult.

Erwin to some extent shares his hyperfocus on his goal with Eren, but he acts in much more nuanced and controlled ways. His tactics can be unsettling and involve loss of life, but they aren’t unthinking.

As of this chapter (again, Eren’s real motives are still ultimately unclear, so this is 100% with emphasis just as of this chapter), Eren is acting in a single-minded and reckless way that is completely selfish, but he doesn't seem to realize that. He is back to fighting his old flaws of recklessness and single-mindedness that we saw at Trost and Shiganshina, but in a different, much more negative form.

When he ran in to avenge Thomas and defended Armin to be saved, he was at least fighting for selfless reasons. He was fighting because he cared for them. Here he thinks he might be saving everyone, to end it all, but he's actually choosing a path that’s causing everyone harm and suffering. 

He's basically the worst version of himself right now. Also, again, ripe for disaster and everything going to hell.

On a positive note, though, if he overcomes this, it’ll be extremely cathartic. Eren’s dual arc has always been fascinating to me. At different points of time, his character could go in a positive or negative direction - both are possible because he has both, positive and negative development.

If his arc goes in a negative direction, the story’ll just be a tragedy because he could not overcome his flaws and rise above himself.

The thing is, this is all everything we already knew to some extent, though.

So yeah, there is a bunch of repetition this chapter. Thematically and plot-wise. I think it's all still interesting and consistent, but just drop the shoe already, please. I’ve thought it was dragging for a while, but now it’s really getting to me.

At the very least, it looks like we're actually finally moving somewhere with the opposing side finally arriving and making a move this chapter.