#where does Vivian get his A+ parenting skills? the depths of hell.

[anonofseasons]

I know Vivian sees Gideon as his savior in youth, because he did give him food/shelter/education, but Gideon's parenting actually did more harm than good to Vivian's trauma. Vivian's abusive upbringing under the read-more.

Vivian patterns his own parenting so much after Gideon, but he also greatly acts from the temper that Gideon's methods of discipline failed to quell. Vivian's early childhood involved a lot of neglect, intentional starvation, being slapped and beaten, and there was sexual abuse from some of the siblings. A lot of things fucked him up. Gideon's structure--albeit harsh--gave Vivian some comfort. That's why he accepted that acting up got him whipped with a belt--even well into his 20s. After all, Gideon provided consistent meals, education that Vivian had been denied, never would've put up with sexual abuse from his wards towards anyone, and gave him shelter. And honestly, Gideon's intentions weren't necessarily bad? He was arguably kinder than most parents are in the current time line of the story. Vivian was a traumatized kid who didn't trust people. Gideon was so distinctly different from the family Vivian had before, and the punishments Vivian received were all from doing what he shouldn't have been doing, so Vivian felt that everything Gideon did was justified. He started to trust Gideon. Because of that, he didn't question how Gideon handled misbehavior. But even Vivian seems to have chosen to forget that whenever he got his ass belted, he only got angrier. He didn't act out immediately--knew he'd get worn out again if he dared--but long term, he usually repeated the same fucking mistakes over and over again. At least when it came to his temper and interactions with Gideon's other wards. (Nearly all the punishments Vivian got from Gideon after about two years of staying with him had to do with fighting with the other boys. There were some serious hostilities that never got properly addressed, because getting whipped together only meant they were pissed at one another even more.) Vivian definitely saw how children were brought up around him, too, so why even question it? That's the way things are! Some further "justification" (in Vivian's mind): He did learn some wrongs/rights, so clearly Gideon's methods worked, yes? He doesn't steal! (Until circumstances force it again, and let's not even go into how much tax evasion this man commits with his husband, alongside avoiding bills while leeching services like electricity and sewage.) He learned enough to get a good-paying job! He has some moral codes, like being against sexual harassment or murder, but those don't come from Gideon. They come from enduring what he went through. He nearly died a few times in his youth. He was sexually abused. He still misses the point on bodily autonomy, obviously, given how he treats his own kids, but... Gideon didn't fucking help him understand any of that. Sadly. And this isn't quite aligned with everything, but Vivian starving as a kid and later having to scavenge and steal to get by even after Shannon's birth is part of the reason everyone tends to save every bite of food they don't eat in that household. Howie and El are pretty much used to it and automatically save their meals for later. Even if it's only a couple of bites. The only time Vivian will throw food out is if it does pose a safety issue. I doubt this is often an issue, because I bet that man keeps a list somewhere of when food was grown/purchased/etc. and labels everything carefully. Goes through the list frequently and says, "this needs to be used up before it might potentially expire" and that's suddenly dinner. Sometimes they eat really nice meals, but leftovers are also frequent in their home. Beau would know, that poor boy just won't learn to eat his veggies and will hold out and hold out until he's swallowing carrots in tears halfway through the afternoon, because he's not allowed to leave the table until he's had x amount of bites of veggies. 😭