#where did you think he got the mastress from

[humanconditionpoetry]

Fun little post and question:

So, I have been rewatching naurto lately and you guys should check out some of the recent birthday poems I made for Madara and Hinata.

That said, I have tried to scour all over the Intewebs(lol) for discussion about this.

When Madara first finds Tobi/Obito and it looks there is bed. How did Madara get that bed? Did he always have it with him( where would he hide it)? Did he steal it? Did he buy it from the store with some very little money he had( you know, since he is presumed dead and exiled from the clan)?

I like to imagine that Madara was sleep mattress tester and then found the right one and could not let it go, and decided to labour for it or spent money on it. LOL.

Also did you think that somebody recognized him? What did you think he did? Ignore then, had a cover name and identity, and maybe killed them?

Also did you think he ate, bathed, yk normal human things?

These are the questions that keep me up at night! I already have a pretty good idea what he was doing in the cave, he is a warrior after all.

[pinktintedmonocle]

A Standing Appointment - A Cobra Kai FanFic - Chapter 1

Daniel LaRusso was not having an affair. At least, that’s what he told himself as he parked the non-descript car two blocks down from the strip mall.

In which Daniel doesn't know what he wants, Cobra Kai has water damage and Johnny is not a mattress.

Daniel LaRusso was not having an affair.  

At least, that’s what he told himself as he parked the non-descript car two blocks down from the strip mall.  He grabbed his gym bag from the back seat and got out of the car, pulling his baseball cap down low over his forehead as he locked up.  He walked quickly, shoulders hunched, senses on high alert.  Reseda at 2am on a Saturday morning was not a safe place to be, even for someone well versed in self-defence.

He soon reached the strip mall, pale neon lights glowing sickly green in the gloom, and crossed the road to the unit that housed Cobra Kai.  Outside the dojo a homeless woman slept curled up in a heap of filthy blankets. Daniel pulled the keys from his bag and slid them silently into the lock, careful not to wake her.  He couldn’t afford to have any witnesses to his presence.

He let himself in and closed the door behind him, before crossing the mat and entering the office. He took off his cap and jacket, then opened his bag and pulled out his gi.  When he had changed, Daniel walked softly out of the office and down the corridor to the back room.  A chink of light under the door told him that he wasn’t the first one here.  He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders before he turned the handle and entered.  

Johnny was sprawled out in the centre of the floor, black gi loosely tied to reveal an ample amount of bare chest, a bottle of Coors Banquet hanging from one hand.  He scowled at Daniel.

“You’re late.”

Daniel shrugged then turned the movement into a shoulder roll, easing out the muscles.

“And you’re drinking”, he replied, shifting into a cross arm stretch.  “Not that I’m surprised, you always seem to be clutching a beer bottle like it’s surgically attached to you.”  Daniel moved onto a hamstring stretch as Johnny got to his feet.

“So?” asked Johnny. “I could drink twenty of these and still kick your ass.”

“Oh yeah?  Come on then, sensei, show me what you’ve got.”

The words had barely left Daniel’s mouth when Johnny dropped the bottle and threw the first punch.  Daniel blocked instinctively and retaliated with a round kick which Johnny dodged easily, his fist reforming and taking aim at Daniel’s shoulder.  Daniel twisted to avoid the blow and caught hold of Johnny’s arm, using Johnny’s momentum to flip him to the floor. Johnny grabbed Daniel’s ankle and pulled him down before rolling on top of him, pinning the smaller man to the ground.

Johnny’s head tilted down as Daniel’s strained up, their lips not quite touching before they were up again; punch, block, kick, jab, twist, flip, pull, roll, pin, a constant familiar cycle that always ended with a not-quite kiss.

Daniel never felt so alive as he did on these night with Johnny, adrenalin surging through his veins. Everything felt ultra crisp and clear, like he was seeing and feeling everything in high rather than standard definition.  He blocked a kick and his eyes met Johnny’s.  The blonde gazed coyly up at him from beneath long lashes, lips forming that infuriating little half smile that Daniel had first seen through the window of the first Cobra Kai dojo all those years ago.

Punch, block, kick, jab, twist, flip, pull, roll, pin; but this time it was Daniel who ended up on top, his hands gripping Johnny’s wrists and holding them while they both panted. Johnny laughed, and Daniel was close enough to taste the alcohol on his breath.

“You gonna strike first this time, LaRusso?” Johnny asked, his voice deep and his tone suggestive.

Daniel shook his head as he stared down at the man beneath him, his face flushed and hair mussed. “I never strike first, Johnny. That’s your move.”

“Very well”, Johnny replied, a shit eating grin spreading across his lips as he pushed himself up to close the gap between them.  He mouth met Daniel’s in a fierce kiss and they rolled over on the mat, hands scrabbling to undo each other’s gis.  Still kissing, Johnny pulled Daniel up into a standing position, a broad hand digging into Daniel’s side just hard enough to bruise.  He used his other hand to tug on Daniel’s thigh and in one swift motion Daniel jumped up and wrapped both of his legs around Johnny’s waist.  They stumbled backwards and Daniel’s back hit the wall just as Johnny broke the kiss and lowered his head to suck a love bite into Daniel’s neck.  Daniel moaned and bit his own lip to stifle the sound just as Johnny brought one hand down to cup his crotch and Daniel found himself carried away on a heady wave of pleasure and pain.

**********************************************************************************

Afterwards they lay on the floor in silence, sipping cheap whiskey out of flimsy plastic cups. Daniel stared up at the ceiling where a dark patch had started to appear.  He drained his cup and gestured for Johnny to pour him some more.  As Johnny obliged, Daniel squinted up at the patch.

“I think you’ve got some water damage.  Probably a leak in the roof.  You should get that checked out.”

Johnny chuckled and rolled onto his side.  “Your pillow talk sucks, you know that LaRusso?”

Daniel ignored him and instead took a large gulp of whiskey.  He pulled a face.  “And this whiskey is terrible, it’s like paint stripper.  Can’t you invest in a decent single malt for when I come over?”

“Hey!” Johnny protested. He laid a hand on Daniel’s shoulder and pulled him over so they were lying face to face.  “I’m the one hosting here!  If you’ve got such a problem with this place and my choice of liquor maybe we should go to yours next time!”

Daniel’s whole body stiffened.  “You know that’s not possible, Johnny.”

Johnny sighed and rolled his eyes.  “Yeah, I know man, wouldn’t do to have your mistress rock up to your fancy-ass house and cause a scene, would it?”

Daniel raised an eyebrow. “Did you just refer to yourself as my mistress?”

Johnny shrugged. “Well, yeah.  That’s like, what you normally call someone you’re having an affair with, right?  Although I guess that’s normally just for chicks.  What’s like, the guy alternative of a mistress?  A master?  A mastress? Not sure about that one, sounds too much like mattress.  I’m nothing like a mattress.  I’m not soft, I’m solid like a rock.”  He slapped his taut stomach for emphasis and took another slug of whiskey.

While Johnny had been speaking Daniel had stood up and had started to gather up his clothes.  “We’re not having an affair”, Daniel said firmly as he stepped into his underwear and pulled on his gi pants.

“Oh yeah?  Then what would you call this, LaRusso?”

“It’s a – a…” Daniel cast around for another word or phrase that didn’t sound so intimate.  Fling? No.  Dalliance?  No. Romantic Entanglement?  Definitely not.  “It’s a – a – a standing appointment!” he said eventually, nodding decisively as he pulled on his gi top.

Johnny snorted in derision. “A standing appointment? Why?  Because you like it when I fuck you against the wall?”

Daniel felt his face flush. “No!  That’s not –”.  He stopped talking and took a deep breath, refusing to allow himself to be wound up by Johnny Lawrence.  “A standing appointment just means a regular appointment, you know?  Like a visit to the dentist.  Just a necessary service to get you through life.”

Johnny propped his head up on a hand and stared at Daniel.  “Is that really all this is to you, LaRusso?  A necessary service?”

“Yeah, of course”, Daniel said tightly, turning his back on Johnny so the other man couldn’t see the lie in his eyes.  “It’s all it’ll ever be.”  He fumbled with his belt, fingers uncharacteristically clumsy.  Behind him he heard Johnny stand up and saunter across the room towards him.  Strong arms encircled his waist as rough hands undid his belt.

“I don’t know why you always get dressed after round one.”  Johnny said huskily, nuzzling against Daniel’s neck.  “Not when you know there’s always a round two.”

Daniel twisted around and broke free of Johnny’s embrace before walking towards the door.  “Not tonight, Johnny.  I’ve got to get back.”

His fingers had just touched the door handle when a hand gripped his shoulder and spun him around.

“Say it to my face, LaRusso”, said Johnny, fixing Daniel with his piercing blue eyes.  “Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll stop.”

Daniel opened his mouth to speak but no words came out.  Instead he cupped Johnny’s face with one hand, his fingers brushing against Johnny’s jaw and catching slightly on faint stubble.  This time they both leaned into the kiss together and Johnny nipped Daniel’s lower lip as Daniel moaned into his mouth.  Johnny broke the kiss and pressed his lips against Daniel’s ear.

“See?” he said, deft hands untying Daniel’s belt.  “You can never resist me.”

No.  Daniel thought sadly as they kissed again, rough and needy, and Johnny removed his gi.  I can’t.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

I am glad you agree with me. If kaito got sleepless because of nightmares (he cries alot angry alot whine alot fights alot lose control of his quirk and overhaul anythig and everything alot. his emotions are just over the place, irregular sleep and sleeps suddenly alot *not strange to say he faints/desn't eat well). Kai has to have a TALK and PROMISES he will never die and will protect him and mommy AT ANY EXPENSE. Kai for the 1st time will sleep with kaito in kaito room. For him.

"For a peaceful night at least." He mumbled monotonously while lifting his glass up along with yours while you giggled.

"Cheers!" The glass touch each other before both of you sighed in bliss and took a sip from your drinks.

For some miracle your so eletric and clingy boy of almost six had tired himself out with his godfather and friend today and without complains went straight to bed EARLY than usual.

It was the first time ever that Hari saw Chisaki eyes widening and he even patted his shoulder while saying 'I own you one.' Chrono's eyes almost popped out of his head after this.

"(Y/N)? Is he sick? Something happened?" Kurono whispered at you in genuinely worry, getting even more confused when you laughed and thanked him as well with a hug.

"I need answers!" He said exasperate while you and your husband chosed to ignore the poor man.

Now, you and Chisaki were simply on the couch without a care in the words at nine p.m...

"He simply blacked out. I'm genuinely impressed." He said after placing his glass on the coffee table before lifting his mask up again, hiding his pleased smirk.

"I have to say the same. I can't remember the last time that Kaito went to sleep so fast!" You breath out in relief.

"Surely. What we will do know with this time I wonder." He said monotonously while his gaze fixed on your form.

"We can't exactly take risks my knight... rememberlast time?" He deadpanned at the mention while you giggled at his face.

How did you guessed in the first try his thoughts?

"Well, have any better ideas sassy angel of mine?" He growled whiel he dared to got even closer to you.

"Actually-"

The floor suddenly cracked and began to form small thorns ... before you or Kai could even understand what was going on you both heard a scream from your son causing even the walls to break.

"SHIT!" you yelled before falling to the ground and felt one of the spikes cut your skin of your arm accidentally.

"Dammit. Must be his quirk on action." Chisaki growled before grabbing your hand to lift you up from the floor just before a huge pointy plataform formed.

That could've had harmed you... badly.

"Kaito!" You yelled, getting out of your husband grasp and running in the direction of your son's room.

"Angel wait! Goddammit!" He shouted in anger before fixing the mess on the house.

So much for a relaxing night...

Chisaki touched a giant wave of concrete with his bare hands coming towards you, causing it to dismount and quickly return back to normal.

"What the hell?" He mumbled beneath his mask, his son's quirk was the same as his, he already had that acknowledge.

But this was slightly shocking... the power that it contained already even despite Kaito only getting his quirk a few months ago...

"CHISAKI KAITO STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY!" Chisaki shouted at the top of his lungs before he bursted the door, rather aggressively with you following right behind.

The kid gasped before widening his eyes, immediately making all the effect of quirk ends.

"Kaito what happened?" You asked worriedly, already settling yourself besides your poor little boy.

He was crying hysterically before in between sobs he managed to speak out.

"D-Dad! They took daddy! Mommy where's daddy?! They beat him up and h-he couldn't escape! They cutted his arms so he he couldn't use his quirk mommy! I WANT MY DAD BACK! MOMMY I WANT DADDY HERE!" The kid cried on your arms while both of you and Chisaki widened your eyes in surprise.

But for different reasons... you had widened your eyes in horror at seing your poor son having those types of nightmares... but what else could be expected from a boy who was the leader of a mafia's son..?

While Kai had widened his eyes for the mere fact that Kaito called out for him... you were always the sorce of comfort of him and his son so he didn't mind it the slightest; except the times where both have to ompete for your attention from time to time; but seing his son, hysterically crying out for him was... shocking.

You looked up at Chisaki and mentioned with your eyes at your crying son on your chest, still crying for his dad...

Should he do something? What the hell was he supposed to do?

He slowly and hesitantly approached you both and sitted down on the mastress after he ficed the whole mess his son had made... after some minutes, and pleading stares of yours, he patted his son head, catching the toddler attention.

"See? Daddy's here? Not even a cut on..." you cooed while stroking his hair as well.

The kid looked up at you with teary eyes, silently asking for permission which you merely smiled warmingly and offered Kaito to Chisaki.

"D-dad!" He whined between sobs as he hesitantly made grabby hands at Chisaki.

His breath catched and a bitter feeling growed intensely on his chest... dear god, now he know what he hates and never wants to see the most... you and his son crying.

He awkwardly patted his head again, befofe catching your eyes as you mouthed.

'Hug him. Please hon just for a bit...' you pleaded silently at your husband whose was already furrowing his eyebrows.

Why...?

He sighed and oppened his arms, air of his lungs almost being completely knocked out of him by the force the kid had hugged him.

"Christ child..." he groaned as he still maintaned his arms up before slowly lowering one of them, looking at you for assistance before he did something.

You gently picked his hand and placed on your son's head and leading it for him to caress his son's back of the head and upper back.

He furrowed his eyebrows while sighing.

"Such a idiotic dream of yours brat... the last person to happen a accident like this is me in this house..." he said harshly and rather offendes at such mention, but you smiled anyway at seing that he had relaxed his tense body and was starting to pet Kaito's head without your hands.

"Sorry..." the kid mumbled, already easing up a bit his nerves but not his hold...

"Don't need to apologize sweety..." you scratched affectionately the back of your son's head before he sighed.

"There was snot on his nose..." Chisaki growled silenty to you while you merely lifted an eyebrow at him.

After a few seconds the boy had calmed down but still refused to leave Kai's chest.

"Brat... Can you-"

"Please don't go..." the kid whined sadly while gripping his father's shirt.

Ah shit another kick on his chest.

You looked at him with soft eye yet pleading ones, he furrowed his eyebrows for a second before gazing at you, then his son on his arms...

He sighed before laying his back on the mattress in defeat, Kaito slidding his head to his father's lap... Your husband looked at you before nodding to your plea...

He was going to stay with his son tonight... even if it meant he losed his night with you... if it meant his son's peace... then he would do it.

"You're going to stay. Don't think you get to escape this." He whisper at you irritated while you giggled silently lifting your hands up and shortly after pointing to Kaito.

"I am not the one today who he needs my love."

"He doesn't but I do. So you better sit back, because I'm not staying alone in this." He growled making you shook your head in disbelief.

You sitted besides him and leaned your head on his shoulder without a care before he glared at you and whisper again.

"Now I am a type of bed for you both?" You smiled and breath in on his scent, ignoring the rudeness of his tone of voice.

"I already was many times for you both the same thing... your turn." You sleepily said before Chisaki deadpanned and scoffed slightly.

Touche...

[spiritboundofficial-blog]

Spiritbound - Chapter 3

Next thing I know a fireball grazed my cheek. Chara pulled on my hair, making my head move slightly to the right, so that I don’t get it square in the face. When what just happened registered in my head, my eyes widened and made a step back, ready to run if I needed to. ‘You will not touch my child!’’ The tallest of the goats monster got up and a snail crawled on top of her head. Her purple dress swayed slightly because of the concentration of magic. Everything turned black and white, large orange buttons appeared in front of me and a red little heart was in the middle of some sort of box. Each of the respective buttons were saying ‘FIGHT’, ‘ACT’, ‘ITEM’ and MERCY’. Attacks started raining on me and I dodged all of them at the best I could. One or two touched the red heart, and I can’t deny the fact it hurted a lot.

When it was my turn, Chara pressed the fight button without my consent. I do not want to kill anyone. Red, glowing vines shot from the ground next to me, waiting to be given directions. I take a deep breath and ask them to attack where the goat woman was not standing, so I could not hurt her. I glared at Chara after, who glared back at me. She wasn't okay with what I did, but she will live with it.  She knows I am not one to hurt people, but every damn time, she tries to deny it to herself, I can see it in her red eyes.

The goat woman shot fireballs at me again, hoping to protect her child.  I dode every and single one of them, but the last one was a close call. I press the act button and try telling bad skeletons puns. The lady didn’t laugh, but nostalgia seems to swirl in her purple eyes. There seems to be less attacks this turn. I sigh in relief and press act again. I tell her that her dress is pretty. Which is true, even if her right sleeve has a rip from the shoulder to the wrist and the one is completely gone. She smiles quickly but is fast to hide it and attack me again. For the second time, there are less attacks. I hit the Mercy button and spare her. She stopped attacking ‘’What tells me you will not hurt us?’’ I spare her again. ‘’You are not the first one to do this exact pattern’’ I spare her again. ‘’You will not give up, will you? After all, you are DETERMINED’’ I spare her again. ‘’...’’ I spare her again. She sighs and everything turns back to their normal color. She motions to the shorter goat to come.

A small goat, which fur is now brown-ish because of the mud, makes his way towards us. HIs green and yellow sweater has a rip in the center and we can see a white t-shirt under it. Vines are wrapped from his wrist to his elbow and a giant buttercup is on top of the wrist, which makes it look like a giant bracelet. When he takes a good look at me, he runs to hide behind his mother. She smile shakily, maybe hoping to make me think that she was not scared, but I could still see the glint of fear that always seemed to stay here, even when she looks at her own child. ‘’I am Toriel, caretaker of the ruins. I assume you want to leave, don’t you? I will not stop you.’’ She steps out of the way to the big purple door. I look between the door and the Toriel and her child. I bit my lip, wondering what I should do. I just, can’t leave them here, after all I’ve seen, they must feel alone. But, if I leave, I might be able to go back home and do like nothing ever happened and then Chara will do like she always did, annoy me.

I sigh and look back at the goats, DETERMINATION swirling in my brown eyes. ‘’I will stay with you, Toriel’’ She sends me a surprised look, but smiles soon after. She grabs her child hand and shows me her paw, waiting for me to take it. I grab it and she starts pulling us both forward, going up the stairs and stopping in front of the child room I went in earlier today. She opens the door , and the small goat runs in to hide under his covers. I must have zoned out again, because when Toriel came back, she held another mastress in her hands. She entered and set it down. She then looked at me ‘’I hope you forgive me, we do not have any other blankets…’’ I shake my hand, telling her silently that it is not a problem. She nods, walk over to me and pat my head gently. I took a good look at her necklace, which had a snail shell for pendant. It seemed to have a golden glint to it. I look at Toriel in the eyes and smile. She walks away soon after. I enter the room hesitantly and lay down on the hard mattress. I sigh and look over at Chara, who was still pouting because I didn’t fight during the battle. I roll my eyes and looks away. She’ll get over it eventually.

[fashiontrendin-blog]

Meet James Haake: The Oldest Working Drag Queen

http://fashion-trendin.com/meet-james-haake-the-oldest-working-drag-queen/

Meet James Haake: The Oldest Working Drag Queen

Dancer and actor James “Gypsy” Haake is, according to his Twitter bio, the world’s oldest working drag queen. After a career in show business, he came out of retirement in his 50s to try on his first gown and now, at 86 years old, he still commands the stage with his unique brand of drag-meets-comedy and has no plans to stop anytime soon. Below, Gypsy tells me about his long-standing career, celebrity encounters and what it’s like to live separately from his onstage persona.

W

hen the curtain opens and I come onstage at Oscar’s Café & Bar in Palm Springs, California, the audience gasps. I parade around in my cobalt blue makeup and beautiful Bob Mackie gown. Then I open my mouth and usually start with, “Ay, how you doin’?” or one of those New York hollers. The audience just goes nuts. They expect me to have an artificial girl’s voice, so when they hear mine, they just don’t know what to do. My gowns are beautiful, but my face will kill you.

I created this character that talks like a man but dresses in really gorgeous outfits with big hats and jewelry. In my mind, I’m not wearing a dress — I’m wearing a costume. The show is a structured theatrical production where I, as Mastress of Ceremonies, introduce actors who impersonate celebrities. That’s what makes our show a bit different from other drag shows.

I never studied comedy, and I was never interested in doing stand-up, but it just came naturally to me with what I do. I’m off the cuff, off the top of my head. Audiences carry me a lot. I can look at the audience and see the history of some of these people because I’ve been around that long. I was in New York for Stonewall and in L.A. for all the AIDS horror in the ’80s. I’ve been around and around. This year, I’m celebrating 67 years in show business, from the stage to films to TV.

I grew up in Morristown, New Jersey, outside of New York City. My family was rather dysfunctional. I was adopted. My mother had two children after I was two years old, and my father put me back in the orphanage each time she got pregnant because she didn’t really want me there. When I was going into high school, I had to live with some neighbors because my father beat me up so much. I do have an adopted niece who is a wonderful woman, so she is my family. I’m not bitter about anything. I wasn’t bitter when I was 14, so I’m not bitter at 86. After all, I’m very lucky.

In those days, in high school in the ’40s, that just wasn’t done

Beginning my freshman year, I would spend my summers at the Paper Mill Playhouse in the town next to mine. I took dance classes as well — tap, jazz, ballet. In those days, in high school in the ’40s, that just wasn’t done. I think there was only one other guy in classes with me.

After I graduated from high school in 1950, I went to an open call in New York for a group of dancers. The company hired chorus boys and girls called “gypsies” — which is how I got my name, Gypsy — to go on tour with famous people and on Broadway. I danced for Broadway musicals and on tours all over the country and in Europe until the early ’60s. Then in the mid-’60s, I got the chance to headline and open my own cabaret, called Gypsy’s, in Manhattan. It became very famous, but when disco and Studio 54 came in around 1978, nobody was going to cabarets anymore. So I retired at a young age, at almost 50. I came to L.A., never thinking anything else would happen.

24 PHOTOS click for more

In 1980, a nightclub and showroom opened in West Hollywood called La Cage aux Folles, named after the movie that had just come out and won best foreign film. The club opened to rave reviews, and I came out of retirement to headline it. I had never really done drag. I had never even worn a dress before; in my club in New York, I had just worn tuxedos. I decided to never wear wigs or boobs, but I’d wear fabulous gowns and six-inch high heels. During the run of La Cage aux Folles, my legs were insured for a million bucks. I still have great legs for 86, if I do say so myself. I modeled my makeup on Agnes Moorehead in Bewitched. I have all this cobalt blue stuff on the eyes and false eyelashes. I’ve been doing that all these years.

By 1983, famous stars like Lucille Ball and Lana Turner had already had their own tables at our club. On Christmas Eve that year, Mel Brooks and his (now ex-) wife Anne Bancroft came to see the show. Mel said, “How old are you, Gypsy?” I joked, “Oh, I’m a baby. I’m 51 years old.” He said, “You’re never too old to become a movie star, and I’m going to make you one.”

And he did. Mel Brooks signed me to co-star with him and Anne in the movie To Be or Not to Be. I played Anne’s dresser, and she coached me every single day for six months during filming. They could’ve hired a coach, but instead she did it personally. We were in lots of scenes together, and I had a big dance number in drag with Mel. My name was submitted by the head of the studio to the Academy for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar. I didn’t get it, of course; I didn’t even get the nomination. But my name was submitted. Since that movie, I have done 20-something films and about 100-some television episodes.

The biggest stir in my career was last summer when Miley Cyrus decided to hire a group of older people for her music video “Younger Now.” I was the second oldest person cast, and I learned an awful lot from that 24-year-old superstar. I also danced with her in her performance at the VMAs. I wore this red beaded dress and leather jacket with an older woman’s face makeup and played Miley’s sidekick. The director made sure I was right next to Miley the whole time. I really got to know her. She would come on the set for the rehearsals and say, “Where’s my Gypsy?” We would joke and I’d say, “I know why you always ask for me — you want to see if I lived through the night!” Even if I wasn’t in a certain take, she would want me to stick around and watch her. I got something that very few people get with these superstars: a true look at what she’s like as a human being. Also, she doesn’t lip sync! She has a very interesting, rich voice, not quite like anyone else’s.

The only serious thing about me is my clothes

For the last several years, I’ve been headlining shows. When I was 68, my current manager and producer, Dan Gore, asked me to headline a show in Lake Tahoe, and I said yes. He asked, “Do you have gowns?” I said, “I have 200.” We became the longest-running show in history there. Then we came to Palm Springs and opened various shows. The last four years, we’ve been at Oscar’s Café & Bar.

The only serious thing about me is my clothes. Every time I come out onstage in a new dress, the crowd doesn’t applaud me; they applaud the gown. When audiences see me, it’s always, “Gypsy, that outfit!” not “Gypsy, god, you look just like an old lady.” It releases me to be myself in a dress. I never lose myself when I’m in costume — I’m always myself, in costume or not. I am who I am.

The Guinness Book of World Records named me the world’s oldest … they called me “impersonator,” but I’m not really. I don’t impersonate celebrities — I’m my own persona dressed up in these costumes. I never put on the costumes or makeup during the daytime unless it’s for a photo shoot or special performance. If you saw me out of context, it wouldn’t really make sense.

Dan, besides being my producer, is also my family. I live in his condo with a dog we got from the shelter. Very few people at 86 have people who care enough for them to help them to keep working, especially in this business. I want to keep working as long as I can. I had an artificial heart valve surgery two years ago, but I’m perfectly fine. I’m always prepared to do whatever I need to do.

Photos by Maggie Shannon.

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