#whenever were given the option we choose the more ethical one. yes its true that at times its impossible to pick something sustainable bc

[nomaishuttle]

cannot stress enough how sick i an of every single response to a post abt fast fashion being bad is UMMM HAVE YOU CONSIDERED POOR PEOPLE?

[glazydandelion]

The Indecisive Man

If Diponegoro University is your destination, then you shall pass Ngesrep Street as its main road. Ngesrep Street can be noticed easily since there is Pangeran Diponegoro Statue at its junction as the landmark. Passing by Ngesrep Street, there are lots of stores, minimarkets, and a gas station to fulfill college students’ needs. No wonder why the street is so crowded most of the time. Motorcycles, cars, and parking men have something to do with the jam during rush hours.

           When the afternoon comes, food stalls decorate along the road of Ngesrep – coconut ice, deep fried food, and other kinds of snacks would enchant people to come. The street would be so crowded as people come and go quickly since they’re in a hurry, just like bulls are chasing after them.

           So this is a story about Dane. Even though he is passionate about moral philosophy and ethics, but he is also a person who can be anxious easily and nervous when being under pressure and facing options. Dane finds it really hard to choose food to buy when passing Ngesrep Street. He could just buy everything, which is impossible, or just simply doesn’t buy anything. I’m pretty sure he will go with option two.

           It was fall 2002 when Dane had his first visit to a bookstore in Semarang. He fell for moral philosophy directly once he got to the philosophy section. “I should’ve been here earlier” he speaks to himself as he walks down reading all of those philosophical books. No one thought that Dane the Indecisive Man would be so keen in the philosophy that now it takes him as a philosophical lecturer in Diponegoro University.

           Dane has so many things to do today. He feels so tired but he barely wants to go home. He goes to a city hill instead, his favorite is the one that looks like in (500) Days of Summer. He often does this to find himself longing and wandering in the wind that blowing or the city that rushing. Seeing city lights while sitting on grass recharges himself somehow that now he is ready to lay his bones.

           All of his reverie is dispersed when a woman in a black coat is approaching him and greeting him “Bonjour!”. Dane is expecting no one but he is so pleased welcoming her to sit next to him. Harriette out of the blue came up after years of ghosting and leaving Dane in doubts after she graduated from college. She left for Jakarta to pursue her dreams participating in a voluntary activity while Dane stayed in Semarang trying so hard to stay alive and ended up in the same college where he went to. Now they do what normal people do, sharing each other’s updates for they haven’t met for years.

           “What are you up to?”, Dane starts the conversation.

           “I’m writing a book. About you, about us”, she shocks him.

           Mixed feelings of happiness, hatred, to anger, are suffocating a blue heart of Dane that he has to sigh to calm down. He already gave all he got to start a new chapter of life without Harriette; the one he took care a couple of hamsters with, the one he felt the dew which only came once or twice during the rainy season of Semarang at night with, and the one he pictured his dreams with. His entire struggle of forgetting that he built for years has been falling apart at the drop of a hat only with a ‘hello’.

           Dane sees Harriette as the same woman he knew when they were still in college in the early 2000s. She stands with grace, she looks with sparks, and she smiles with harmony. Harriette only leaves her hair in a ponytail for the nick of the time. Harriette is rarely seen with empty wrist, she still wears that ethnic bracelet she got when she went to Jogjakarta. She used to stay in Semarang for college but now the 26-year-old Harriette stays in Semarang for a business trip so she will be staying in for the next four days. She occurred to visit the hill because she knows that this is on top of Dane’s favorite places in Semarang. She did not plan to see Dane but she probably knows where he is. And, yes, she is.

           Their current rendezvous seems to be not enough. They plan to see each other for the second time the morning after, at the Car Free Day to be exact. Stop. Do not ever think that they will show up in that sporty look because they are there for food only. Harriette knows this Indecisive Man very well; she does not ask a single question for the snacks he wants to order whenever they stop at a food stall. Surely she is the one who has to make the order or they will end up with buying nothing after Dane reading the menu for 15 minutes non-stop.

           It’s 10a.m. o’clock and Dane’s first bookstore is now open. Dane wants to make this meeting is more memorable by reminiscing good old days visiting the bookstore with his lover. Harriette agreed and said that she’s about to buy her nephew pop up books. This time, The Indecisive Man is not in Dane, he left the bookstore without an empty hand. Him choosing what he’s looking for in less than thirty minutes is the real deal. Dane truly realized that this is Harriette’s last day of staying in Semarang, she will be on board to depart to Jakarta in a few hours. By all means, Dane won’t be fooling time away only to stay in that bookstore that he has been visiting for so many times. He wants to spend this golden chance that, as the case may be, only given once by taking Harriette to drive around Semarang and reminiscing their good old days. His kind heart is happy, genuinely happy.

           “Semarang has changed, huh? A lot.”, uttered Harriette as they pass Pemuda Street.

           “Everything will be. So will you and so will I.”, here comes The Philosophical Dane.

           “I know. It feels strange since I have been leaving this city for more than five years but I feel happy. I still want to come back,”

           “Why so?”

           “I don’t know. I just feel like I find myself when I’m with you. You know, it’s not that easy to find a guy like you. So I think it’s you where I want to come back to.”, she stares at Dane with her glazing eyes.

           They enjoy the moment so much that the time at the brown leather watch of Dane shows the time to go home. Time shows 5p.m., meaning that they should be rushing to the airport due to Harriette should be boarding at 7p.m. To be honest, Dane still has one thing to do before Harriette’s leaving; he wants to have dinner with her at their favorite restaurant. Sadly, he has to zip it unless he wants to ruin Harriette’s trip.

           Their moods turned into blue when they are on the way to the airport. They enjoy the dawn drive, the sunset, the smiles, the beating hearts, and the holding hands. They let themselves swallowed in the absence of sound. Cupid just shot his arrows again right to these flowery hearts. They cannot hide the feelings of keeping each other to stay, but, sure, the reality is the one to blame.

           As they arrived at the airport, Dane’s left hand is carrying Harriette’s suitcase and his right is holding hers. They surely a couple of lovebirds who want to fly together but there are cages that pulling them apart. Check-in counter is the witness of their leave-taking. Harriette is too good to be true for Dane, he has never found a woman who has charisma as Harriette; no other woman beats her. His ego really wants Harriette to stay so they can spend the days together like they used to do. Meanwhile, the 26-year-old Dane truly acknowledges that his ego is always foolish.

           “What would come next?”, Dane asked while holding tears back.

           “I will go back to Jakarta and you will be staying in here, we have been getting used to being like this for the past four years. We both have dreams, let’s see what the future brings us”, she smiled.

           He hugged her goodbye and can’t help crying over her. Dane’s tongue was dead for he has too much to say, he feels so grateful yet so angry. He is thankful for meeting the woman she once loved. He also cannot hide the fact that his anger brings him back the pain of letting her go. These past two days are too much for him to bear. His body gesture means nothing as he trembles. He left the check-in counter immediately after he gave her the gift in an orange paper bag, the color she loves, that he bought from the bookstore earlier. He wanted to stay a little bit longer, for sure, but he doesn’t like being seen weak, as usual.

           Dane is trying to fade the memories of Harriette away as she enters the gate for the domestic flight. Now he has to build his wall higher and bolder one more time. She left him in confusion. Her sweet talks seem to be so calming that it can drown Dane to a delusional candy store. He blamed himself for being so weak, he blamed himself for letting such feeling burdening him so deeply, and he blamed himself for believing temporary occasion.

Tomorrow morning won’t be the same,

There is only one Car Free Day for Dane,

The bookstore stays there along with the touch of Harriette.